#asexual reading

[goamazons]

                                                                                            September, 12                                                                                             Damnville You know Dad,

If I counted up the number of times I’ve been in BIG trouble, I’d open a Trouble Museum. Ma says it’s all coz I was born on a plane and caused quite a trouble to everyone aboard. Or as she calls it — bloody mess. ‘You are born to get in all the wrong places,’ she says and I say it wasn’t me in the first place who took that 14-hour flight drop-dead pregnant to the hell of a nowhere.

But maybe she does have the point. Coz I got to a TERRIBLY wrong place just yesterday and would rather prefer a 14-hour flight to nowhere, please. We’ve been to Hecta’s Gran’s on a visit at her Palace-like house in Ratyshche. The place is HUGE and full of people like a cucumber of seeds (her clan is like Golden Horde, and as barbaric). Nobody attacked our Amazons Army though, so we were dying of just boredom. But not until Heck had her *BRILLIANT IDEA* to play Hide and Seek.

‘Ew! We’re too big for that,’ Agnieszka retorted. 

‘We play that or go for another round of Gran’s babble on Pan Grant cheating on his wife with a milkman,’ Hecta said and Neshka jumped to her feet with, ‘You count!’

We decided to cover only open rooms since we’d sooner grow with grass than get found in the back chambers. Still I was determined to give Heck a hell with that. I’m a master of disguise, ho-ho! So she went counting, One little gnome, two little gnomes, three big dragons burn their homes… Agnieszka stood behind the drapes with her fairy bowed shoes sticking out. She ALWAYS takes drapes! She’s too keen on all those romantic Victorian novels where drapes were everywhere and stuffed with people listening to all sorts of secrets, meh! I could do better, I thought and nosed into every box and basket around like a true fit-in-all cat but couldn’t find anything safe enough. Then I heard Hecta yelling, ‘READY OR NOT,’ panicked and slipped into some room at random. 

It was rather small, and, damn, had no baskets. So I crawled under the bed, pushing aside one million and one pair of shoes, noisy tin cans and other inconceivable junk. Was right on the dot in time before the door creak opened. I held my breath, trying on my magic invisibility before Hecta AHA’s at my sticking out ass. Instead, I heard giggles, shuffling, feet rapping at the floor and the door click shut. Then Hecta’s auntie Christina’s voice murmured, ‘Your wife’s gonna kill me.’

‘Nobody’s gonna know, babe,’ Pan Grant’s voice replied, low and muffled. They put the lights off and plopped on top of the bed doing lots of funny animal noises. And I was like SHIVER ME TIMBLES!

WHAT was I gonna do?! Surely NOT jump out of there with a stiletto in each hand crying, Shoe Police, hands up, dicks down! Ugh, I’d better stayed there until Ragnarök hoping by the time I see the light in the tunnel, I’d finally manage to grow a proper beard for my true Viking looks. But Lady Doom said, Nah! and sent me the fattest ever fatso cockroach creeping there right under my nose. And y’know, cockroaches and I are mortal enemies. We’re like Saint Michael and Satan, just bound to battle. Honestly, I had no control over my archangelic muscles when I grabbed a shoe and slopped it dead.

‘What was that!’ Pani Christina shrieked, stopping the creak-squeak of the old matrass.

‘Someone downstairs,’ Pan Grant supposed-to-sleep-with-milkmen groaned. ‘Don’t mind it.’

And I wouldn’t mind it either but my sacred battle stirred all the dust down there and I had no control over that gigantic sneezing bursting out of my entire essence, bumping my spine against the bed roof. That sent them both jump in sheer total horror. Their screams echoed in every corner, and I think Pan Grant’s has killed every crystal glass in the house. 

There was no point in waiting for Loki and Co. I shot out of there like a bullet, clattering with all the blasted tin cans and sneezing again so hard that bomb farted them right in the faces. Oh, BLOW ME DOWN. My only luck, the lights were out. I darted looking for the door, hearing them drop off the bed, still yelling like never. Just a mushroom salad little fart, why so panic, jeez!

I jumped through some door and hit the helluva mess of clothes and hangers. Some more carton junk fell on top of my head. SHIVER ME THIMBLES the wardrobe! I realized (quite sadly) there was no Narnia behind it. So I bumped back and found the door stuck. Blimey! I was trapped! TRAPPED in a wardrobe! I pressed a foot against it and gave it such a Viking kung fu push I tumbled out of there like a football and rolled hell out of there. Pani Christina fled to the bathroom and her lover still messed with his pants, still yelling. 

I dashed along the corridor in fear they’d let down all the king’s horses and all the king’s men to catch me. Hell with the boxes, I jumped behind the first drape and, surprisingly, stood there for the whole forever. And screamed my bum away when Hecta and Neshka pounced at me out of the blue. ‘Where on Earth ‘ve you been!’  Agnieszka cried.

‘Just here!’ I lied my socks off. 

‘And what’s this?’ Hecta took a nylon stocking off my shoulder that lovingly hugged me around the neck. What would you say to that, Dad? Surely not the truth. 

                                                                     Your Hiding Master, Skipper

[milomilesmib]

Quick reminder that you don't need a solid sexuality! You can just be in love! Or not be in love! Or have a gender! Labels are a choice, not a requirement. All you need to do is be someone you like being! If labels help with that, great! But they are not required. You don't owe it to anyone, so don't feel pressured to choose labels if they aren't your thing!

[bluestonewings]

ACES!!! Look at this Scientific American article!!! It makes me genuinely so happy to read. We’re making it!!!!

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/asexuality-is-finally-breaking-free-from-medical-stigma/

[whatdoesthequeersay]

ACE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 CAN 👏 MAKE 👏 DIRTY 👏 JOKES

Then again, if you’re an aphobe, your mom already made the dirtiest fucking joke of all time, so why should we bother?

[cult-of-the-eye]

I love how intricate asexuality can be. No sex at all? Sure! Just want to watch? Brilliant! Only comfortable with topping? You go girl! Only rarely feel aroused and when you do it's very touch and go? Wonderful! Kinky but not in a sex way? Coolio! Queerness is full of nuance and people are complicated and things never live in a vacuum!!

[ale-arro]

been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week

[loveless-yadriel]

Had a soulmate tarot reading done, in small hopeless aromantic hopes that I had a chance at love.

They described my cat. They even felt guided to say a name and it was my fucking cats name. I think they absolutely believed they were talking about a human girl but nope, just the goofiest cat that could ever roam. This is honestly the perfect possible outcome.

[abcwordsurge]

book about poetry brings up queer relationships and I'm like cool. brings up aspec people and I'm like OH MY CHEKXNSKSMLEMSKSKSK

[valhalla-awaitsfor-us]

the way tv shows are ALLERGIC to create interesting and plot relevant ace/aro characters, my god.

Yes, im looking at you sex education and Heartstopper. There is a bunch of tv shows and movies that i can also name, but those two are just big disappointments since they should actually uplift different sexualities… I guess we are not fun, guys.

[leghasp]

In my 10th grade English class we had to write sonnets and um

[noahhawthorneauthor]

Happy International Asexuality Day!

Here are some books with ace and/or demisexual characters. A majority of them are the main, but in the case of some they are the love interest.

[aroaceineveryplace]

Excerpts from Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle

[tremendously-crazy]

does anyone else immediately lose interest in a book when there's a romantic subplot or is that just me

[desperatecheesecubes]

Growing up asexual is actually so funny because all of a sudden people all around are like ‘oh my god what if I don’t know how to kiss??? I have to practice!’ And start doing unhinged things and the whole time you’re like

[rowan-e-ravenwood]

guy who's not interested in a relationship bc they're too busy designing fragrances, call that an aromatic asexual

[popcorn-plots]

someone: do you like sex?

me, an aegosexual human: