#as you experience such wonders for yourself!

[prince-septimus]

calm mornings

pairing : robert reynolds x reader

summary : just two lonely people learning of a thing called affection.

word count : 1.5k

You find yourself staring at him often -- the man with the power of a thousand suns. Sometimes you have to remind yourself of the power he wields because when you see him occasionally sitting in the little corner he's created with books surrounding him and an overlook of New York to add on, you forget the events of a few months ago when the city fell to shadows.

When you see Bob now, all you see is the softness he carries with him, the comfort he brings even after years of not having it for himself. How could someone who has been through so much manage to continue on with such a soft heart?

You guessed the same could be said for the whole team. The ruined assassins who spent part of their lives being brainwashed and tortured. The super soldiers who never did quite reach their potential, and spent their entire lives dwelling on it. The experiments and the suffering and the darkness that the rest of you had endured. The whole team had that in common, and it was something you thought made you better than the Avengers.

The Thunderbolts were a family.

(You always were fond of the nickname, even after having to put that 'A' on your uniform.)

Maybe that's why you would find yourselves gathered late into the night, recapping missions and watching shitty 80s movies. Maybe that was what you all needed to keep the nightmares and dark thoughts away. You all had done bad things, unforgivable things, and yet you could still find yourselves together on a Saturday night fighting over who got the last slice of pizza and picked the next movie.

It was one of those nights you woke up early after. You had only been asleep for a few hours, but the weekends were sometimes a little more peaceful, almost like the job followed that weekday schedule you remembered from school. It was nice sometimes to get up early and drink coffee in a corner somewhere while the sun was still rising. Usually you were left alone during that time.

This morning you were not alone.

The coffee machine is still dripping the last dregs into the pot when you hear his quiet footsteps. The others had tried to convince you to get a better coffee pot -- one of the ones with a million buttons that made all sorts of espresso drinks and could add different things. You're sure that sort of appliance was here when the building belonged to Tony Stark, but you liked your tried and true, traditional pot. Even if it was a bit loud.

"Made enough for two?"

Bob's voice is still full of sleep. You wonder if he actually fell asleep or just dozed like he did sometimes. He had seemed tired towards the end of the last movie, after everyone had began to settle down, and you hoped that meant he at least got a good few hours in.

You smile gently at him as he pads over to lean against the counter. "I always make a full pot. You know that."

You hadn't bothered with the lights, preferring the soft glow that had started to enter the space as the sun began to rise beyond the windows. You enjoyed this time in the morning, when everything was still quiet and calm. You wondered if he preferred it too.

He leans over you to reach in the cabinet above, grabbing two mugs and setting them on the counter beside you. He looks cozy in his sweater and soft lounge pants, the thick socks on his feet silencing his movements on the floor -- though you wonder how he sleeps like that at night, the layers of fabric confining him in his sleep.

Maybe it makes him feel safe.

"Can you grab the creamer from the fridge?" you ask, beginning to fill each cup from the pot. You leave a bit of space in each mug for the added components you both enjoy.

Everything is so still as you watch Bob stroll across the kitchen, grabbing the required item before padding back towards you. He gives you a small smile as you finish off both cups of coffee before handing his to him.

He cradles it in his hands as he looks at you. "You're up early."

"I always am." You take a sip, careful not to burn your tongue. "Any bad dreams?"

He shakes his head. "The nightmares aren't as frequent now. It's been easier."

Your mind goes back to when all of you first moved into the tower. It was the easiest way to go about things, being listed as the New Avengers. You all were in close proximity when needed, and even though Bob currently didn't go on missions, he still was around and had his own room just like everyone else. He liked to keep the place put together and cleaned up when the rest of you didn't have the time to. He told you once that it was because he finally had the motivation to do it after years of being in a daze.

You had been to his room several times over the months. It had become almost as familiar as your own to you, with books covering every surface.

(Most of them finished, as Bob did not like to buy a new one until he finished the previous.)

The nightmares were immediate in the beginnings of Bob's stay. It didn't come as a surprise. All of you had your own demons, as proven by the Void months ago, but something told you being stuck in his nightmares was a whole different beast.

You didn't want him to go through that alone.

It had started slow, you keeping him company on those nights. You couldn't stop the nightmares, but you could offer a break from them, an ease of the conscious. At some point it had transitioned into the sleeping in the room together, still keeping each other company but finally taking advantage of that much needed sleep when you both felt it coming on.

Then it turned into sleeping in the same bed. That was after one really bad night. Neither of you were sure what brought the nightmares on so strongly, but they hit you both and you ended up in each other's arms, begging the bad dreams to leave you be.

Eventually they did, and eventually you never left.

It wasn't exactly a relationship -- you weren't sure either of you were ready to label it as such, or even fully address that as an option. The signs were there, very much so, cradled in those shared nights and castaway nightmares, but the trauma bond was clear and neither of you wanted to base your entire future off of that.

"I didn't notice you leave the bed."

You grin. "You never do. You sleep like a log when you're peaceful." Another sip. "But seriously, no bad dreams after I got up?"

Sometimes when you were away on missions and Bob found himself alone in the bed, those nightmares came back. Sometimes he'd call you. Sometimes he wouldn't.

"Nothing. It was nice."

His hair falls into his eyes when he dips his head down to take a drink from his mug. He had got it cut after everyone moved into the Tower, a small trim to hold him over and to appease everyone as his hair got just a bit too shaggy. You liked it -- the length on top and the short bits on the side -- and thought it suited him better than what he awoke with in that room where he had been stored away.

You reach up to run your hand through it, Bob leaning into your touch. Your fingers slide across his short curls, gently straightening the bed head out.

Bob reaches up to cradle your hand in his, moving it down to press a kiss to your palm.

The kisses were a more recent thing, a testing of the boundaries. You and Bob had both gone without a real sort of relationship for so long that a lot of things were practically a new thing, an experiment. It was a way for you both to see how far you wanted to take things, and so far neither of you had said to stop.

"Got plans today?" you ask, careful not to let your coffee spill in your grasp as you push against him, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear.

A soft smile just for you. "Nothing that involves going out anywhere."

You scoff. "You never go out anyway."

"Not ready for that just yet."

You pull softly on the hair at the nape of his neck. "Wanna go watch a movie?"

He leans to brush a kiss to your cheek. "That all you want to do?"

You let out a laugh, pulling back from him when his lips run across your ear. His free arm snakes behind you and pulls you back to him. A few drops of coffee splatter between the two of you. "There's always more we can be doing."

"Nothing we don't want to, of course."

You smile wide as his arm squeezes your waist. "Of course."

[trainer-from-unova]

contagious

english ao3 Ⓢ spanish ao3 Ⓢ masterlist Ⓢ 𝄞

ship: robert reynolds x oxe nurse afab!reader

summary: bob will not hurt anyone if you stay at his side, so you stay with him even if you don't want to. "nurse then a servant, just an appendage live to attend him so that he never lifts a finger"

au: canon divergence, oxe experimented on bob inside the vault, bob is a superhero, bob obeys val, sentry living homelander's life but without a team

c/w: the dove is alive and you can eat it but have in mind that there's a dove, horrible day at work for poor y/n, kidnapping and stockholm syndrome but not really but the vibes are there, you're his trophy ...and maybe much more, forced bonding and relationship, nurse/patient, boss/assistant, minor character death, light angst, mentions of mental illness and instability, open happy ending, humor, consensual sex, piv sex, unsafe sex, semi-public/bathroom quickie

a/n: his hair isn't described so you can imagine him blond or brunette, and english isn't my first language so sorry if something's weird expressed and even if you read it here please leave a kudo in ao3!

word count: 4169

It had probably been the craziest and most intense night of her life, and she was sure it had been the craziest and most intense night of the others, especially the military she was assisting. She had hardly slept, eaten or drank — but at least she wasn't hurt, she was just too busy ...and worried. Not for her in particular, but for all the people who had been injured, and those who might be injured in the future by him and 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

She was checking the wounds of a serviceman when she heard a commotion that caught her attention, a crowd of able-bodied servicemen heading towards her. For a moment she thought maybe they were going to bring her more patients, ask about the condition of their comrades or something like that. She didn't expect them to come after her, leaving her no time to react and try to resist, handcuffing her feet, hands and even a muzzle like Loki after the famous battle in New York.

It's as if her mind had been read, because while she was wondering what was going on and why she was being treated like that, Mel appeared and approached her to inform her, not very enthusiastically:

"He* wants you... I'm sorry."

She wished she could have slept on the helicopter flight to New York, but it was so short and she was so confused, nervous and scared that it was impossible. All that was compounded when she arrived at her apparent destination: The Watchtower.

When they helped her off the helicopter they made her walk across the helipad to the inside of the penthouse. To her surprise there was Valentina, and next to her was Bob, completely changed — he looked like someone else. The place was turned upside down, with broken glass on the floor, broken furniture, bullets and some traces of blood. She guessed what had happened, and all the aforementioned sensations were further aggravated. She looked worriedly at Bob as he slowly approached her, reaching up to remove all the handcuffs and muzzle with his telekinetic powers, causing them to fall to the ground.

She had the option to speak now, and she had many questions on her mind — so many that she didn't dare ask any of them out loud, as she didn't know where to start.

"It's time for you to go," he said raising his arm, looking at the soldiers behind her and to her sides.

"No!" she said worriedly, stepping forward. "Please don't hurt them."

"Yeah, listen to her and behave yourself," said Valentina a few metres away from them, in front of her and behind him. She looked at her, just as she looked at Mel standing next to her. "That was the deal."

At first she thought it was Valentina who wanted her, but now she was seeing that she was completely wrong. She looked back at his arm, which was still raised, but now, instead of being in attacking form towards the soldiers, he was holding out his hand for her to approach him and merge with him in a grip.

"What do you want from me?" she asked with bated breath.

"Everything," he answered, very sure of his answer. She had never seen him so sure.

Being a nurse she'd had enough of a run-in with him, you could say they'd grown fond of each other (even though she knew she shouldn't feel that way about him for many reasons) and had a good bond. It shouldn't surprise her that someone as traumatised, disturbed and lonely as he was had fallen in love with her when he was under her care. She knew of many cases of patients falling in love with nurses and viceversa, it was like Stockholm Syndrome.

"You won't hurt anyone?"

"If you're next to me."

She wasn't thrilled with the idea, but did she have any other choice...? He was out of control, mentally unstable, and her freedom had to be the sacrifice. Maybe she couldn't change him, but she could control him so that he wouldn't hurt anyone.

"...Then so be it," she said as she approached him and accepted his hand, causing him to smile sweetly and shyly at her. She knew herself well and always knew she was very helpful, but she never imagined she would be so helpful. That's why she became a nurse — it was vocational, she always wanted to help.

"And I now pronounce you man and wife," said Valentina rolling her eyes. "But the honeymoon has to wait, the press is waiting downstairs," she said pointing behind her, turning to head for the lift with Mel.

"There's a bed upstairs, take a rest, okay?" he reported as he stroked her hand with his thumb, before releasing it and going to the other two women's side.

She couldn't, or rather, shouldn't be surprised at such a change of mood. She nodded doubtfully and watched him walk away as she listened to Mel inform Valentina that the cleaning service was on its way to clean up the mess. She stood there, processing it all and feeling his eyes on her until the lift doors closed. The military stood there, and wanting to be alone and rest (if only physically) she took Bob's advice, going upstairs and into the bedroom there. She knew that, military or not, she had no way to escape, and if she did she would probably make the situation worse and not be able to run far.

The decor was sparse and the lighting horrible, but there was a television, so she turned it on to watch even a little of the press conference while she looked around the bedroom, full of hairdressing tools and fashion designs. She browsed the hangers on the dressers and the papers she found while occasionally glancing up to look at the screen, but always paying attention to what was being said. When there was nothing more to look at she lay back on the bed, watching Bob on the screen.

If he didn't excuse himself then she would excuse him: she knew that all this wasn't his fault, that he was only a victim of his circumstances, just as she was now. He was alone and needed company, and above all love. She didn't have the feeling that he was going to treat her badly in any way, but she was shocked and nervous about how her life was going to change from that moment on, so she couldn't help crying. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, exhausting her further and causing her to fall asleep.

Maybe to say that she was kidnapped was too strong a word, but she was very limited and watched over by Bob, Valentina and her employees. And unfortunately no one missed her, as she had no family left and the few friends she had could be counted on the fingers of one hand, apart from the fact that for work and personal reasons she had lost contact and trust with them. They were the typical friends who only met every few months to catch up over a drink.

So much studying nursing for nothing... But she was still getting a salary, a good one. Now her job was to live with Bob, and as unstable as he was it was sometimes difficult, but she always tried to be loving and put on her best face. She had to raise his self-esteem when it was too low and lower it when it was too high. She had to calm his delusions of grandeur, reminding him why he took the serum to convince him to do good and not to kill anyone, especially Valentina. She always wanted ______ to be present whenever she met with him, even for boring marketing meetings.

But she was a heroine, in her own way. Part of her felt useful and satisfied to know that by being by his side she saved many, and apparently himself as well. She couldn't help but begin to feel special that she was so loved by a God, however prefabricated and mentally unstable. Besides, he told her she was a Goddess — his Goddess.

Luckily it wasn't all bad. Now she lived for free in the penthouse of a skyscraper with incredible views of Manhattan, she had maid and kitchen service that did everything for them, and Bob didn't force her to do anything that made her uncomfortable — he just wanted to hold hands, hug her, cuddle with her, have her stroke his hair... At most he dared to kiss her on the cheek and look at her lips too much.

But touch makes affection. As time went on, and in the moments when he was mentally stable and cheerful, she couldn't help but begin to find him adorable. Nothing was a lie anymore, nothing was forced anymore: the hugs, the cuddling... Even holding his hand was now natural, and she had even started to kiss him on the cheek as well. The first time she dared to do so, she couldn't help but laugh when she saw his surprised face, and how shy and blushing he became. She also blushed when he dared to compliment her, and the instinct to protect him intensified.

At first she had told him to go on dates as an excuse to get out of the tower, now it was because she really enjoyed his company. And to be honest, she didn't feel so lonely anymore. Bob had filled a big void in her life, and she even missed him when she was away from home on a mission. She used to go to museums and other places alone, now she went with him, holding his hand.

"It's beautiful," he whispered looking at the painting in front of them, a romantic scene between a couple from several centuries ago.

"You know," she said in the same tone, catching his attention. "When I was a kid I thought people in the past were very serious, because they posed like that in pictures in Victorian times. Then I found out that they posed like that because they had to stand still for a long time to get the picture right, and seeing pictures like this you realise that they actually loved just like we do, which makes sense, because we're all alive because two people loved each other."

"It's a very romantic way of looking at things," he said looking at her with a touch of tenderness. One of the many things he liked about her was her way of looking at life. Knowing her he understood the meaning of the word "kind".

"Yeah, well," she said, blushing slightly, "I suppose."

"Excuse me," said a female voice behind them, and they both thought it was some fan asking for a photo, since he was a public figure. They both turned and saw a girl, teenager or young adult, with a small sheet of paper in her hand, offering it to them. In the other hand she was holding a small notebook. "I've drawn you," she said shyly.

"Oh my God!" she said, taking it. They both stared at it, amazed and touched. The drawing was done in charcoal pencil and showed them with their backs to each other, holding hands in front of a vertical rectangle that symbolised a painting. "It's the most beautiful thing I've seen here today," she said, and both he and the girl laughed.

"No way," said the girl, blushing.

"It's beautiful, really!" said Bob. "Thank you very much."

"Can we keep it?" she asked, curious and hoping for a positive answer.

"Yeah, of course!" replied the girl.

"Thank you," smiled Bob.

"You haven't credited it," she said, turning the paper over to see if there were any credit behind it, "don't you have an art account?"

"Oh, yeah," she said shyly, "but..." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, you should. Could I follow you on Instagram, if you have one?" she asked, handing the picture to Bob to hold while she pulled her mobile phone out of a pocket.

She said yes and told her her Instagram art account. She followed her and then the girl asked if she could take a picture with him, just him. She laughed, because of course she wanted a photo with him. She didn't take it badly, she understood her because if she came across a celebrity with its partner she obviously wouldn't want to take a photo with the partner in it. She took a picture of them together with her mobile phone and the girl left the room where they were. The picture ended up on the fridge in the attic with a magnet.

But was she his partner? For most people, yeah. She wasn't a public figure, but she went everywhere with him so everyone, from press of all kinds to internet users and other workers in the tower, assumed she was his assistant or his partner or both. For Valentina she was, for Mel she was, she had told her few friends that she was (because the truth was too embarrassing and complicated and she didn't want any trouble)... Even for him it was, and even if she didn't have a choice and there were couple things they didn't do (yet) she also started to consider herself as such. She knew she shouldn't feel that way after all she had been through and sometimes she felt annoyed with herself and even with him inside herself, and although she tried to curb that feeling in the end she let it flow, knowing that it was probably the best option whether or not it was a defence mechanism in her brain. With him she discovered that Stockholm Syndrome was contagious.

"You'll be fine," she reminded him, holding his hands to keep him still and comfort him minutes before an interview, waiting for the press to finish setting up. He kept pacing back and forth and adjusting his suit wristbands.

"I'm tired of so many interviews," he said, annoyed and weary.

"People want to meet you, it's only natural..." She shrugged her shoulders. "Show them the man I love," she said, smiling sweetly as he tightened her grip on his hands.

"...What?" he asked confused and surprised. In this relationship he was the only one who said such things to the other, until now. At first he knew she didn't love him in the same way he did, but he knew she was fond of him and trusted that she would love him back in time. He couldn't have imagined it would happen so soon, it had barely been three months since their relationship began. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. "Really?" he said looking at her lips for a microsecond.

"Really," she said still smiling in the same way, releasing him and placing a hand on one of his shoulders and the other on one of his cheeks as she stood on her tiptoes, removing what little distance there was between them and fusing their lips together once and for all.

It was hard for him to react at first, but in the end, as expected, he kissed her back slowly to make the moment last as long as possible while holding her by the waist. He had to pull away from her, but not for lack of air.

"I've waited a long time for this..." He said in a whisper, his breath hitching as his gaze went from her eyes to her lips and from her lips to her eyes, over and over again. "But now really is the worst time because I'm going to get an erection."

"Fuck- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" she said, surprised and blushing but trying not to laugh, putting a hand to her mouth. "I just wanted to cheer you up, but yeah, I should have thought of that," she said embarrassed, "sorry."

"No no, don't worry, it was wonderful," he said as he shook his head, still holding her close to him.

"Cross your legs or use the cape as a blanket, I'll deal with it later."

"Really?" he asked again in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you'd better fuck me later," she said in a whisper, so light that if she had lowered her voice any further he would have had to read her lips. She looked at him seriously but smiling, trying to make him see that she was sure and that she wanted it as much as he did.

"I could do it right now," he said, his voice deeper and his eyes hungrier. "Fuck the interview," he said trying to pull her closer to him if possible, to make her feel how impatient he was, but even though she was looking forward to it as much as he was, she had to be the voice of reason.

"No honey," she said with a laugh. "It's too late to cancel, and you must do it. The sooner you finish it the sooner we can... Okay?"

"All right," he said as annoyed as a small child, which again made her laugh.

They parted but only briefly, for he took her by the hand to go with her to where the interview was to take place, so that, as usual, she would be present behind the cameras. And the interview was hilarious — she couldn't help but laugh every time she saw him settling into the seat where he was sitting, closing his legs, covering himself with his hands as discreetly as possible, trying to use his cloak as a blanket as she had advised... You could see how nervous he was in his hands and eyes, and she didn't know if it was because of the interview or because of what had just happened and what was going to happen soon or both, but it made the situation worse when their gazes connected in the moments when he wasn't looking at the interviewer. At those moments they both couldn't help but blush and had to try to hold in their laughter, even though it was an interview that wasn't being broadcast live.

"Excuse me, where's the bathroom?" he asked a worker as soon as the interview was over. "It's urgent," he clarified, and as soon as he was answered he went straight in her direction to take her hand again, leaving and going to where he had been told as quickly as possible.

"You should be more discreet," she said embarrassed but at the same time laughing as she slung her bag over her shoulder. The situation was surreal.

"I can't be in this outfit!" he replied, just as her.

And when they reached the bathroom he had to restrain himself from blowing the door off with his powers. A man standing there, pissing into a chamber pot, was startled to see them enter because the door burst open, because it was him (and looking like that) entering the place, and accompanied by a woman, who shouldn't be there as it was a male bathroom.

"Uh- Sorry!" she replied embarrassed. "It's just that I have to help him get undressed..." she laughed nervously as they walked towards a cubicle at the end of the room, but she wasn't really lying and just by looking at him you could tell it wasn't an easy suit to put on or take off.

As soon as they were locked in the cubicle he had chosen he put her against the wall, leaning over to kiss her passionately with tongue included while she tried to make as little noise as possible by holding her moans in her throat and taking her purse off her shoulder. Luckily the toilet seat was down and she was able to drop it on the lid, almost throwing it over it. Then she tried to pull his cloak away from his back with her sense of touch in search of the zip on his back. Also luckily that man was soon gone, but Bob's phone, which was in her bag, rang. They both ignored it.

"See why I hate this suit?" he said as they parted, to let her breathe. She nodded anxiously as he reached down to her trousers to pull them down, including her panties. And then her mobile rang, in her pocket. You didn't have to be very smart to know who it was. They both looked at each other annoyed by the situation, but she decided to pick it up, not to answer but to ask not to be disturbed any more as he tried to remove his bracelets.

"Where are you!?" said Mel, stressed as she grabbed them from him and put them in her bag with her free hand. "Val-"

"Too busy!" She said annoyed, motioning for him to turn around to help him unzip his back. "Honeymoon! Give us ten minutes!"

"Ugh-" and they both hung up at the same time.

If they had ten minutes, five were to help him get out of his suit, and he couldn't even get it all off. As soon as he was able to undress his crotch, revealing his muscular pecs and arms (and more parts of his body), they stopped trying to undress him. Good thing he wasn't wearing boxer shorts (because they would wrinkle and show too much, according to the fashion department better to just show off his pack). The top of the suit fell in front of his legs, on the floor.

They would have preferred to do it sitting down or with him holding her buttocks and legs against the wall, but the quickest option was to do it from behind, with one of her knees on the toilet seat and holding on to the cistern while he grabbed her hips.

They would both have liked the situation to be more romantic, comfortable, slow and intimate, but Bob wanted to make her completely his once and for all, he couldn't wait any longer, he'd had enough patience for months and the amorous confession and kiss earlier had provoked him too much, so he grabbed the tip of his cock and brushed her wet lips to make his way in without much decorum.

They both tried to choke their moans in their throats as he filled the void inside her, and she tried to hold on tighter. Instead Bob's hands gripped her waist to ram her, back and forth, watching victoriously as his cock disappeared inside her. He had daydreamed about it many times, in the company of his dominant hand.

He rammed her hard and fast, and she rested her forehead on her hands as she bit her lip, making a great effort not to moan, more and more. But she couldn't help moaning as her orgasm came, arching her back and spasming, but he gripped her tightly to keep her still and from slipping away, feeling her throbbing insides clinging to him.

That he was invincible and powerful meant he couldn't get tired, but it didn't mean he could hold back his orgasm if he was too aroused. Instantly he had to pull out of her, cumming on one of her buttocks as he groaned. He would have preferred inside, but he loved the sight of her bare buttocks with his semen as she tried to catch her breath and craned her neck to look up at him with narrowed eyes and flushed cheeks.

He reached out to grab toilet paper from the dispenser to wipe her and himself, but when he noticed the cardboard cartridge with no paper at all he panicked.

"There's no paper," he said nervously in a whisper.

"Wait..." she said opening her bag between the back of the toilet and her knee to find a small packet of wet wipes. She handed it to him and he opened it, wiping her first and then him. "Thank you."

When she got up from the toilet she pulled up her panties as she turned around, pulled up her trousers and then helped him get dressed. When they were ready to leave the cubicle she grabbed her bag to put it on her shoulder again, but suddenly he hugged her. She was so taken by surprise by the gesture that she laughed quietly, but she also returned the gesture with a smile on her face as she stood on her tiptoes to catch him, resting her chin on one of his shoulders.

"I know this hasn't been the most romantic first time, but... I'll make it up to you," he whispered in her ear.

"Tonight?" she asked in his ear, tossing out the idea.

"Tonight?" he asked surprised but pleased with the idea as he pulled away from her to watch her facial expression. She laughed, put her hand on his cheek to stand on her tiptoes again and give him a quick kiss on the lips as they both grinned from ear to ear.

* I imagined and wrote this originally in Spanish and in Spanish that phrase doesn't indicate the gender of the person who wants her... Hence the mystery and the revelation later.

[kabr0ztrousers]

Hi!! I absolutely love your writings!!

I have an idea for a fic if you’d be interested/willing?

I was wondering if you’d be willing to do a Male Naga x Female Naga reader breeding smut fic?

Where the reader is coming into season and she’s very fussy about the male she wants and after rejecting some young males a really large dark scale colour male with scars from territorial fights/battles/hunts and maybe a missing eye? (Maybe he’s also older than her 👀) Shows interest in her and starts trying to court her (by bringing things that the reader shows interest in or needs like books or flowers or crystals and he hunts for her)

And after a few weeks of this courting (the male is very patient and gentlemanly with the reader) the reader decides that she likes this male and they breed (smut would be nice but I totally understand if it’s hard to write or you don’t feel comfortable! Fluff is good as well)

And maybe a little bit on how the reader might move a bit slower or her tail is wider due to the eggs in her before she lays them? And then how the male becomes more territorial/possessive of the reader/the eggs/the readers territory (maybe the male hisses/lunges at literally everything that comes too close to what’s his)

But please if you don’t feel comfortable writing this or if it’s too long or anything feel free to ignore this!!!

I hope you have a lovely day and keep up all the good work! But don’t forget to take breaks and take care of yourself!!

Kabr0z Writes episode 121: Battle-scarred

Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!

Kabr0z Writes is on Ao3!

CWs: age gap; impregnation;

A/N: Back to requests! There's a lot in the queue, and more requests coming in, so if you have an idea, please please please get it in sooner rather than later!

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You opened your book and lit a stick of incense, breathing in the citrus-scented smoke. You'd chased the last one off with a simple lightning charm, smoke and mirrors really, but more than enough to put the frighteners on a pair of youngsters who didn't understand how far out of their league they were trying to court. Yes, it was that time of the year, but you weren't in a hurry to lay a brood, and you certainly weren't going to mate with the first bright-scaled Naga who came along. You're a Hermetic of significant skill and talent, mistress of force projection, capable of bending the fabric of the world to your whim.

Not a cheap whore.

A crystal lit up in the corner of your vision. The proximity triggers. Another kid getting too close to your wards. You sighed and tapped your eyelids, casting your sight to the hidden gate of your tower where the ward had tripped. That's when you saw him.

Big, covered in deep emerald scales that spoke of age and experience. What wasn't scale was scars, criss-crossed and jagged, one particularly vicious one raking over his blinded right eye. He was carrying something. He set it down by the gate, turned, and left.

Weird.

You focused a second, co-locating the parcel to you, then allowing it to slip through the gaps in reality, materialising fully on your lap. A crystal, of not insignificant size. You'll definitely find a use for this. For now though, it goes on the shelf, and you go back to your book.

The next day, he was back. This time, he left a parcel of smoked meat. The day after it was a parcel of scrolls, after that a verbena's book of shadows. You have no idea how he got hold of one of those.

A week passed, every day he'd leave a gift, an offering of greater or lesser value, but always delivered with reverence. One day the familiar chime warned you of an intruder on your grounds, your gift-giver. You touched a glyph and dispelled the glamour on the gate, letting it swing open for him. He paused, then stepped in under your watchful eye.

You guided him through your garden, towards the base of your tower where you met him at last, face to scaled face.

He looked at you, head tilted down to meet your gaze, saying nothing.

"So, we finally meet" you spoke first. It broke the mystique a little, but you weren't just going to stand there and have a staring contest

"We do" He sounded like he looked, broad, deep, and old

You paused a moment before speaking again "You left gifts. Why?"

He regarded you, blinking slowly, gathering himself "I had heard stories. They say a goddess lives here"

You blushed a little. A goddess? That's a new one on you. You'd heard witch, demon, you'd burned the tongue out of the last man to call you a snake, but you'd never been called a goddess.

"Are you her, the one who accepted my gifts?

You smiled, "I am. Now what would you do, having met your goddess?"

He took your hands in his. His large, calloused fingers closing around yours as he stared into you

"Worship"

He lifted you up with his heavily muscled arms, carrying you to a grassy clearing and laying you down.

You watched him as he slowly disrobed you, carefully pulling off the fine silks and setting them reverently aside. His skin against yours made you feel dizzy, your breath shallowing as the cool air caressed you. His clothes were a lot easier to get him out of: a simple tunic and a brown linen kilt to cover his lower quarters, the long snakish tail protruding from the bottom. It all went together with buckles, a few deft clips and he was as nude as you.

He was panting. Your breath was shallow and fast. You ran your hands over his scarred body, feeling the lines of battles hard-won scribed across his torso, following them with your gaze. A finger pushed your jaw upwards, closing your mouth and bringing your gaze to his. Your hand reached down, feeling the thick cock that was slipping from his lower abdomen, feeling yourself grow warmer, anticipating him. You rolled him over, taking your place on top of the wide serpent-man whom you had chosen. Your slit pressed against his length for a moment, before accepting it.

Your hips rolled over him, your body working as his hands still crept over your form. You couldn't help but gasp as he hit the best parts in you, making you squirm and moan. He held your waist, guiding you over him, lifting his hips to help you grind him against your back walls, hissing with delight as his tapered tip tickled your cervix. You felt him swelling within you, holding you down to him as you brushed his chest with your fingertips. You felt warmth start to flow from him as he gasped, filling you with seed. Your body responded, squeezing and pulsing, drawing him into you as you wrapped your tails around one another, holding chest to chest, kissing deeply as he fertilised you.

You relaxed into him, feeling him as you wound back down in one another's arms, listening to the rhythm of his heart before you looked back up at him

"So... Tea?"

################################

This one was tricky to get right, and I'm still not the happiest, just needed to get something out!

Thus perfect must stop being the enemy of good, and we get another published episode for the series.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi mister Batmanisagatewaydrug

Not to add on to the pile of questions that are just out there enough to seem disingenuous (to which I can vouch that this is a serious question, not a troll) but I was wondering if you knew of a way to just stop one's libido from existing. The only ways I could conceive of is by plainly removing all sexual organs, but not only is no doctor in my area even open to the idea to nullification surgery, I'm mildly concerned that even without the relevant organs the libido might still pop up.

As to why I would even want to get rid of it, it's not in pursuit of some sort of puritanical ideal, I'm sex-positive when it comes to other people, it's that in my personal experience the existence of said libido (low though it may be) causes nothing but pain- and since I'm ace anyway, I'm certain keeping it around is not worth any of the anguish it causes. It has literally been a push towards suicide attempts in the past, and I'd lose nothing if it just weren't a thing anymore.

Thanks for your time and consideration

hi anon,

I'm really sorry that this has been so distressing for you.

removing your sexual organs isn't much of a solution anyway, I'm afraid; the sex drive is not, as it were, stored in the balls (or ovaries, as the case may be). the desire for sex is a complex thing influenced by many factors both physical and mental; hormones are part of it but certainly not everything. the best bet would probably be a very thorough lobotomy, but that's not something I can in good conscience recommend nor something you should pursue.

short of that there's very little in the way of a means to quash your libido entirely; it's a part of you, even if it's one you don't like, and you'd have as much luck trying to get rid of the signals your body sends when you need to eat or sleep. unlike eat or sleep, though, there's absolutely no need to act on anything your libido wants, and while it may be upsetting at times, it's well worth learning to be comfortable with the existence of those desires and acknowledging them for what they are before letting them drift past without being acted on. there's a lot of value in making peace with the parts of yourself that you don't necessarily want to let out.

[restlesscrybaby]

Oh my god why am I doing this? Is it okay if we get some elaboration on Lux Imperator’s Predator prey kink? Please? 😳

Ahh, doing it for all the right reasons! Of course you can!!!!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

!! MR. RING-A-DING / LUX IMPERATOR. !!

-- PREDATOR/PREY.

---> For this set, it will only take place in the cinema, for my own nom-confusion sake. If it's idealized, I'll make one for outside during night!

!⚠️ THIS CONTAINS NSFW WHICH IS ; PREDATOR PREY, OVERSTIM, MARKING. MDNI. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ⚠️!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

Finding out he had a predator prey kink was.. Unique.

He ADORES it even.

It's a sense of power,

Even elegancy..

Some form of.. Admiration in the hunting way, yet, he knows he will always catch you. That's the fun part. You can never escape from him!

You can't escape from light itself!

When you first tried experimenting, you wondered what he meant entirely, eyes staring at him.

...... Yeah. Weird way to find out that your toon God had that. Yikes.

You stood idly in the movie theater, your shoes lightly hitting the ground, trying to guide yourself around through the dark cinema. Honestly, malicious tap dancing is so scary. Let's be honest. Well, let's not focus on that entirely... Let's say you stop, he's right there. A few feet infront of you.

He loves that feeling of when you first notice him. How your face lightly falls and you realize you've been caught once again.

He WILL approach slowly, with his arms out, and doing that big stare he does in the scene. ( You know. The one where he frog blinks while saying they saved The Doctor for him. )

Think how an animal doesn't stop staring at it's prey and advances. That's exactly what he does.

If you look away, he does take his chance to rush at you. He finds it fun to toy with you like an actual animal, like he's seen from the movies that play.

He loves fear. It's control too. He's a God.

If you get away and lock yourself in a room, he can squirm under the door. He'll jokingly knock, say things like 'let me in, let me in!', 'Knock knock, who's there!?', 'Shave and a haircut!'. As if it's funny in this moment. Then he'll wiggle his way in, popping his form back to normal after, wagging a finger at you as he advances, eyes never moving off of you.

'Nowww, you sure did make a swell bash at gettin' away, didntcha?' ( Bash = Attempt. )

He's HARD to avoid after. Trying to run past him is like a nightmare, he's quick to block the path, almost like an acrobat to dodge your very move.

It's playful in a way too...

But, once you get free, what other hiding spots!?

Hiding under the bed, you will take deep breaths, trying to stay quiet. Before you feel warmth and glance over, his hand holding a small flame, a big grin..

'What are we hidin' from?'

As if he doesn't know. The nerve of that God.

Now, if you get away AGAIN!

Try to hide behind the curtains even?

You feel the curtains beginning to slide open from behind you, as a light dims and all.

You get away from that?

It's a wild goose chase and he's terrifying during it. He gets into any place. Any time. Any moment. With no hesitation.

He likes to come up behind you after finding you out in the open. Looking for him... And tap your shoulder, before moving to the opposite side of you, so when you look back and you realize--

YOINK!

He's quick to take the lunge, rubberhose arms wrapping around your waist and legs, 'I gotcha now, doll!'.

He's more... Teeth based for this kink. When doing the actual deed after a successful 'catch', he uses his teeth. A lot.

He nibbles your neck, your chest, your hips, your thighs, your ass, hickeys being left behind on you at times too. Which is weird.. Since they're a mix of a toon God and your.. You get it.

He's quite firm when he catches you. If you're in doggy, he wraps his arms around your waist, jack-hammering while drooling out.

Missionary?

Same thing, but looking at you smugly with a red, whining out face.

He tries to get in as deep as he can, trying to feel every clench and juice dripping onto him from you.

You cum and he cums too? No, no. No overstim! He chooses when your done! You're FINEEE you're not sensitive at all!

He loves when you whine and beg as he continues, feeling himself twitch inside desperately to keep feeling.

'No, no! I don't want to stop! I caught you, I do what I want.. Thems the rules, REMEMEEBERR?!'

Fuck.

Hey, reminder here...

Consent is crazy important to him too. And you would've agreed to this willingly. Happily proudly.

He can't get enough of you, especially in this sort of sense. He pressed his pig-snout against your skin, taking a sniff, admiring you entirely. Like an animal...

Hes needy.

Craving.

Desiring.

And it shows in this.

...

Of course, your sex has to come to an end but..

He doesn't like it when you bring up that what he does to catch you isn't fair. You know. His logic.

He puts a hand on his hip, his knuckles pressing againdt it, his other hand raising as if doing a pledge, and he rolls his eyes, 'DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!'

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Sorry if this is out of usual format! I was trying something new while getting myself back up into a good mood and feeling good!! I hope this is good.

/)/)

( . .)

( づ♡

[listentoace]

You can't escape obesity.

And it'd be insane to believe you could. The food industry has engineered their products for decades to make them as addictive as possible, mainly by adding sugar, fat, and artificial flavors that'll hit that dopamine spot just right. You don't really think that you're immune against basic science, do you?

All those food cravings you experience all the time are a result of this system, which drives you to consume more, much more than you'd ever need. But it feels good, it feels comforting. Sinking your teeth into a cake or a pack of cookies has such a relieving and calming effect. No wonder you crave snacks after a long day.

Spend a minute looking at the food options presented to you every day. It's all processed junk, everything. Even items you might consider healthy will at least have that 10% base level of sugar. Fries with nearly 20 ingredients? Yup, fast food chains like McDonald's know exactly how to give you that delicious fix you're craving for.

The beauty of it is that you're already constantly craving this kind of food. Yet, willpower is very limited. It's scientifically proven that you can't resist something forever, that you're bound to give in eventually. So you start making up excuses, treating yourself to a snack, enjoying a cheat meal, or just letting yourself go because it's the weekend.

There is nothing you can do about it, you're up against your biology and a multi-trillion industry who share a common goal: making you eat as much as possible

Just give up and enjoy it.

[noctiva]

Female Toby is the type of girl you have a homoerotic friendship with

Female Toby just like the girl who broke my heart in highschool LMAOOOOO

(Also thinking about female Toby and my hormones are going batty. She’d have a wolf cut and piercings all up the shell of her ear. Pants that hang low on the hips so you can just barely see the waistband of her panties poking out. No bras. Dirty beat up sneakers with frayed laces. Long lashes and freckles on the bridge of her nose OOOOOOOOOOOOOH)

This is 100% correct though.

The type to come up behind you and pinch your ass before she’s resting her hands on your hips, resting her chin on your shoulder as she all but clings onto you. Sleepovers where she insists you share her bed because the couch is too stiff, waking up to her snuggled up to your side with a leg slung over you. Kissing you on the cheek then laughing it off afterwards. Inviting you over to smoke so that she can snicker at how much you struggle to light the bowl for yourself. Leaning in close to light it for you and her shirt collar dips low, giving you a flash of cleavage you’l have to look away from if you want to stay sane.

Casually saying, ‘I-I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kiss a g-girl’ and casting a glance over at you - eyes glinting like she’s wondering if you’d take the bait. And you do, of course. And of course - it’s a life altering experience. Her lips cracked but still somehow so soft, diving in like she’s done this a million times over. Kissing off your lipgloss and moaning at the taste.

Getting more and more heated until she’s slipping a hand down your pants, moaning into your mouth when she feels how wet she’s got you. Touching you just how she touches herself, but learning all the little quirks of what your body likes best. Her other hand desperate, grasping a handful of your tit and kneading it.

She’ll push you onto your back, grinding against your thigh as she pumps her fingers into you - nuzzling into your neck to lick the perfume off of your skin. Of course, she’s making you cum, but her cumming? That’s almost even better. Because she sounds so pretty, her moans so high pitched and whiny. Chest heaving, her nipples perked up so nicely under her shirt.

And after the first time, it’s happening again. And again. And again.

But if anyone asks Toby about you? Well, you’re just her best friend.

[milkoomi]

Heyy! I hope you're doing well.

I want to ask a question regarding habit changes and grooming qualities in yourself.

Before lockdown, I was disciplined, but since then, phone addiction has taken over. I don't use social media like Snapchat or Instagram, but I still spend too much time on my phone, which makes me feel miserable. I managed to control it once for two months but relapsed. How can I break this habit for good and get rid of unwanted habits permanently?

Thank you <3

hello darling!! thank you so much for sending in an ask! i hope you’re doing well! sending you so so so much love! 🤍

a realistic guide to breaking bad habits. ᥫ᭡

habits are so hard to break. it can be an extremely frustrating journey to let go of certain habits, even if it may be something as simple as high levels of screen time. i understand just how difficult it is to break bad habits, and trust me, it wasn’t an easy feat. but as i’ve gone through my own little journey of life, i’ve learned a few things that have helped me at least start to let go of bad habits!

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — immerse yourself in new hobbies

having a hobby, or multiple hobbies, can get your mind focused on something more productive or better for yourself! it gets you to bring your attention and energy into something that makes you feel good and brings you joy rather than getting lost into those habits that seem to take over your life!

there are so many wonderful and fun hobbies out there that you can try! i’ll be listing some hobbies divided into two different categories.

soft hobbies: activities you can do that won’t require too much time, effort, or money!

reading - really simple! try rereading books you love, picking up a new genre, or try different ways to read like audiobooks! visit your local library & get books from there!

coloring - there’s tons of affordable physical and digital coloring books out there! you’re never too old to color! it’s such a relaxing activity & it allows you to get creative!

creating playlists - get inspired by different moods, characters from shows/movies, books, emotions, or vibes! this is another hobby that allows you to get creative and it also encourages you to explore new music!

poetry - i love writing poetry. poems are one of my favorite forms of art! it’s a beautiful way to express your thoughts and emotions while getting those creative juices flowing! you can get a simple notebook or an aesthetic journal & start creating to have a lovely little collection of poems written by you!

gaming - okay, i know we’re trying to reduce our screen time, but if you’re needing to step away specifically from your phone i highly recommend gaming! the games you play don’t even have to be video games, they could be card games, board games, puzzles even! there’s so many different games out there that can help you relax or get your mind working. it could also encourage you to be more social and create game nights with loved ones!

crystal hobbies: activities that may require a little more time, effort, & maybe money!

scrapbooking - i personally have a digital scrapbook on my ipad & i created a scrapbook for my fiancé on our most recent anniversary! i LOVE scrapbooking. while it does take up more time & energy, it still helps you get creative and focus your mind on things like cherished memories!

nature jars - if you aren’t familiar with what these are, they’re literally just jars filled with things you’ve found outside in nature! leaves, rocks, flowers, sand; anything you find outside. this can encourage you to go out more & be one with nature and explore! not only will you get your steps in, you’ll also probably find something really beautiful that mother nature has to offer! (of course, please be very careful with what you touch and take from the outside!!)

cooking/baking - hone those culinary skills! you could try out recipes you’ve been dying to try or experiment with different flavors! cooking isn’t just a life skill, it’s art!

art - painting, drawing, sculpting; essentially any art form practice can be a great hobby to take up!

creative writing - i mentioned poetry in the ‘soft hobbies’ section, but now let’s go even deeper & try writing stories! you can start by creating synopses of different stories you’ve maybe thought about writing before jumping right into story creation! or, if you’re feeling ready, you can start writing up the first chapter of a story! you can even get more detailed by creating character pages with all the stats & information on characters you want to create!

the more hobbies you have that make you happy, bring out your creative/productive side, and make you feel good, there’ll be less time and energy going into those bad habits! it’s important you focus your mind on something else; something better, and as time goes on and you continue to immerse yourself into your hobbies, the less likely you’ll be going back to those habits! the key is to occupy your mind with other things that are beneficial and replace those bad habits with something more rewarding!

୨ৎ — write out your dream life

this is essentially manifestation, but grab your journal and write down what your dream life looks like! ask yourself: what would my life look like without these bad habits? think of this as setting goals for yourself, but write as if you’ve already achieved those goals!

bullet list

create a list of everything that involves your dream life without those bad habits! this is a quick & easy way to imagine what your life will look like!

write a story

play as the omniscient being for a moment and write your story! it doesn’t have to be a full novel of course, it can be a short story, but write and describe how you are in your dream life and what your life is like! this allows you to create a clear mental image of what you’re wanting to achieve! it can even motivate you to make that story become your reality!

things to consider…

what are you doing in your dream life? job/career? level of education? social life? traveling?

what do you look like? not just traits like skin, hair, & nails, but what are your expressions like? do you show more happiness? do you show a sense of relief and peace?

what do you sound like? is your tone of voice calmer? do you sound happier? what are things you would say?

breaking bad habits is all about your mindset, so writing affirmations and/or manifestations for yourself can help to rewire your brain and turn on that switch for motivation to get you to start breaking those habits!

୨ৎ — detachment

something that seems so easy but is also extremely difficult is distancing yourself and removing yourself from the source of your bad habits.

in this case, it’s your phone, so it’s time to start detaching yourself from it and i’m going to go through some methods of how to do so in a less daunting and more manageable way!

time-out method

this method is, essentially, putting your phone in “time-out”. it sounds silly, but i promise it works!

how to…

shut off your phone completely

place it far away from you (in another room, tucked away in your bag, in a drawer, or even in a shoe box tucked away underneath your bed). you can even ask a family member or loved one to put your phone somewhere else & hide it from you (if you’re feeling up for that!)

keep an eye on the clock and note the time you put your phone away

give yourself a set amount of time to stay away from your phone. you can start off small with 10-15 minutes away from your phone or, if you’re feeling ready to, start with 2 hours away from your phone

this method doesn’t work with every bad habit. it’s more effective for habits that involve some kind of object.

meditation method

meditating is a wonderful habit to replace with other ones! it allows you to practice mindfulness and helps to relax your mind & body!

how to…

sit in a quiet place & silence your phone (it will probably help to either turn on a ‘do not disturb’ feature or shut off your phone)

for about 5 minutes, focus on different characteristics of your body and try relaxing yourself. notice the tension in your shoulders and relax them, there may be some tension in your neck so try and relax that portion. you can also focus on your breathing during this time!

gradually increase the amount of time you meditate. maybe the first 3 days you meditate for 5 minutes, then for 3 more days you increase your time to 7 minutes, and then for 3 more days after that you increase to 10 minutes!

redirection method

our minds and bodies work as if we’re in cruise control and just do things without thinking twice about it, so this method is exactly what it sounds like: redirecting your mind onto something else!

how to…

let’s say you catch yourself on your phone, mindlessly scrolling through social media, so as soon as you catch yourself, redirect your energy to something else!

or, if you’re thinking about a certain bad habit, redirect those thoughts elsewhere like in a journal! write out what habit you’re thinking about, talk about how it makes you feel, and explain to yourself why you should do something else

redirecting can be anything! it’s just a matter of acknowledging the habit and driving yourself to something more beneficial!

go for a walk, watch a new movie, go do your skincare, journal, chat with a friend/loved one, read a book, make yourself a snack/meal, clean your room; any activity that makes you feel good and makes you feel productive can be a great choice for redirection!

final notes —

breaking bad habits isn’t easy, i can’t stress that enough. i know it’s hard and it’s all easier said than done, but! you are capable of breaking those bad habits if you put your mind to it! some discipline might have to make itself seen to really see the results you’re searching for, but you don’t have to go to the extremes to make yourself more disciplined! be patient with yourself, talk to yourself kindly, and remind yourself that progress is never linear! you will have ups and downs, right turns and wrong turns, and you might slip up a few times, but that’s completely okay!

be gracious towards yourself; you’re only human.

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[mikimakiboo]

Mermay day 11 - Taking Flight

- Leviathantale -

The shiver is teaching Cross the wonders of freedom, the current lesson being: jumping out of the water.

First

Prev

Next

- Are we sure it's safe ? What if there are land walkers and they see us ? Cross asked, nervous.

The three sharks had decided that they were going to teach Cross how to have fun, and even if Cross trusted them he couldn't help but feel nervous about going to the surface, as he knew land walkers could see them here.

- It's perfectly safe, we do that all the time ! Killer claimed.

The bull shark was the most excited out of them all, it was his idea after all. 

- Plus Horror will keep watch for any problem ! So nothing to worry about ! 

Horror couldn't jump out of the water like Killer and Dust did, well, he technically could, but the sudden change between the two environments messed with the hole in his head and it wasn't a nice feeling, so he usually stood guard and rated their jumps like a jury.

- If you say so...

Dust bumped on his side.

- It's gonna be okay, you can't do worse than Killer anyway, first time he jumped he landed on his back and got himself stuck like that, I had to flip him over. 

- Hey ! Killer yelled, blushing, I was a pup it doesn't count !

Cross couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of a small Killer accidently flipping himself and staying stuck. Horror snorted.

- I say it counts.

- No it doesn't ! And you can't comment, you don't even jump ! Killer complained, crossing his arms.

- Don't need to, I just take any reason to laugh at you, he shrugged, smiling.

- You're all mean, Killer pouted.

Cross watched them interact with a smile, hearing them tease each other with him in the middle made him feel a bit more part of the group. Dust stopped, they were a few meters under the surface.

- Here should be good, he stated.

- Impress me, Horror told them before swimming up to stick his head out the water, ready to judge.

Cross looked up, he could see the waves from underneath, it seemed to be a sunny day

- Okay so it's veeeery easy ! Killer started, having finished pouting, basically you just swim up as fast as you can and you don't stop when you reach the top so that you'll fly even higher ! The goal is to do a flip but it's a little early for you. Now: admire.

And with that Killer backed up a little to zoom past them and jump out of the water, Horror seeing him do a spin before diving again and joining the two sharks, a smug smile on his face.

- See ? Swim fast, don't stop, easy right ?

It did look easy when Killer did it, but Killer was experimented, he spent time training for that, Cross didn't, he had never done that, he had never even thought of doing that, what if he failed and couldn't jump ? What if he froze when near the surface and couldn't even get out ? That would be so humiliating.. he didn't want them to think he couldn't even do a simple jump out of the water.. Dust nudged his side.

- You'll do great, don't worry, and hey the goal's just to have fun so don't stress yourself too much, 'kay ?

Cross looked at him for a moment before slowly nodding, feeling a little reassured. He trusted them, they wouldn't ask him something impossible just to laugh, Dream and Nightmare would be mad if they did.

- Cool, we'll be watching you then, jump when you're ready, he gave him a smile, and joined Horror to the surface with Killer.

Cross sighed, it was his moment, he was alone so no one to watch him and put more pressure on his back. He backed up, he could do it, they believed in him, he could jump ! He just had to swim fast enough... He took a moment to motivate himself, taking big breaths in and out... and launched himself. He swam as fast as he could, straight to the surface, and just before he reached it, he put his hands in front of  his eyes, he didn't want to see the shiver's look for his first jump, apprehending too much to see dissapointment.

He felt the air wrapping him, making him shiver from the change of temperature. He didn't feel the water come back. He removed a hand, and panicked seeing how high he had jumped, wiggling helplessy in the air as he fell back down and hit the water on his back.

The three sharks dived back into the water, Horror coming to flip him back upward.

- You're okay ? You jumped pretty high ! That was impressive ! He complimented

Killer looked excited as he bumped into him full force to embrace him.

- You jumped so high I'm so proud of you ! And now I'm not the only one who got flipped anymore !

- It's his first time, it doesn't count, Dust smiled.

Killer let go of him, looking offended at Dust.

- What ?! Why doesn't he count but I do ?! 

Dust's smile widened.

- Cause I like pissing you off.

- Oh you better swim fast because when I get you I'll make you eat sand ! Killer threatened, to wich Dust laughed.

- Ha ! Catch me first !

Horror and Cross watched as the two went swimming, Killer chasing Dust and Dust escaping.

- Wanna jump again while we wait for those two ? Horror asked.

Cross looked at him, nodding after a little hesitation, he wanted to try again, it had been... weirdly fun, he wanted to do it with his eyes opened this time, and not land on his back as it wouldn't be his first time anymore and he didn't want it to count.

He would gladly let Killer be the only one to get teased.

[masoncantthinkofaname]

Hi hello I hope you're having a wonderful day. Thank you for making this account and sharing your experiences and journey and opinions. Your account is really motivational and I it literally is saving LIVES to be honest. So yeah thank you for your existence and your account's😂🥹💗

I have some questions as well if you're comfortable answering. How much living and experiencing different lives has affected your day to day life and abilities here? Like can you do the things you learn there here as well? I know that you still know you're language from your home so I guess there's that. But any else you'd want to share? Like idk archery? If you've have done or learned it in your home reality can you enjoy it here as well? Or any other thing.

So happy to have you and everyone else here! I'm so grateful for all of you :)

I'm in a bit of a difficult situation in this reality. It's not necessarily that I don't remember how to do the things I was capable of back home, but moreso that my body physically wouldn't let me. I can only stand or walk for a couple of minutes here, and use a wheelchair for a lot of things. Any physical skills I learned in my drs, I'm simply just not strong enough for here.

If I would've been physically healthy, I absolutely would've gotten into the hobbies and skills from my drs, and tried to master them here as well!

You also definitely can bring back skills, if you want to. I often bring back likings or habits regarding foods/drinks, or speaking manners. But with simple intention you can really bring back anything.

One thing in particular that I learned back home, but realised can be done here as well, is a specific kind of flower from there, that leaves markings on your skin like a temporary tattoo when you, for example, rub the stem on yourself. I tried it out with some flowers here, and realised that dandelions are the most similar. Surprisingly enough (to me), after 10 minutes or so, markings from the dandelion actually showed up on my skin, and stayed there for half a day or so. It's definitely less prominent than it was in my dr, but I never would've even thought of trying it out if it wasn't for my experiences there!

A lot of habits are in the little things. Like stuff I find pretty, things I notice when I'm outside, the way I handle certain people, animals, even nature itself.

If I was more physically capable, I definitely would do a lot more than I'm able to do here. But I'm happy with just being able to shift and experience it there💚

[ecargmura]

Wind Breaker Episode 19 Review - Love Yourself

Don’t let the haters soil your experience and opinion with this episode! Haters can’t tell what a beautiful and mature episode this is because they’re too dumb and close-minded! This really gives insight on who Tsubaki is and how he became the way he is. If you’re wondering about the sudden Tsubaki introspective, it’s because he’s going to play a huge role in the next arc—it’s not a spoiler because it’s shown in the opening!

I really relate to Tsubaki’s internal struggles in his childhood. As he was a boy who liked girly stuff but couldn’t bring himself to accept it, I was a girl who loved ‘boyish’ things like Yugioh cards, Pokemon and even video games. The girls around me didn’t really care much about those things as they loved to talk about boys, fashion and other things that’s considered ‘girly’. While I did have my fair share of liking feminine things like dolls and such, I do admit that I had considered myself odd amongst girls as I hated skirts and dresses, but I still liked having long hair. Fortunately, I do admit that my family have been a positive influence in my life where they never really forced gender norms onto me. While I still had a feminine side, they never really forced me to let go of what I love. It’s just hard to find self-acceptance in my teenage years since I was so…different, whether it be amongst girls or even my fellow Korean-Americans. Unlike Tsubaki who accepted himself for who he was in elementary school, it really took a long time for me to fully accept who I was. I think I was around 17-18 when I fully realized that this is me and decided to not be bothered by those around me anymore. I love games. I love anime. I love books. I love writing. I love dresses. I love dogs. I love baggy clothes. I love what I love. This is me. F*ck anyone who forces me to be who I am not.

It was really sweet to see how the sunny Ito and his late wife Yui were such positive influences in Tsubaki’s life—they’re not even related to him! What I like is that they’re not prejudice because they’ve lived a long life to the point that they’ve become accepting of what is and isn’t normal—in a way, they’ve become wiser and more open-minded with age. I also like that Ito still loved his wife even after so long and that only losing her made him feel uncertainty due to loneliness. You know he was really in love with her for him to think those thoughts because she had been everything to him. Also, you can tell they loved each other if they’re willing to be the drippiest couple in town and flaunt it with pride. That’s a power couple right there.

I do like that the impact the three first years had on Ito. While there isn’t any punching or fighting, they served a purpose and that’s to make Ito happy. Remember that being a part of Furin means to protect town and to protect the town means to protect what’s in it, whether it means the people, buildings, animals and nature. Sakura provided confirmation that Yui did love Ito. Nirei provided a reason for them to visit him again as he empathized with Tsubaki’s story and the impact the elderly man had on him. Suo provided flower language trivia as the flowering tree Ito planted has meaning, but it was also another proof of Yui’s love for her husband. They’re such good kids.

Clover Works really does love to flex their voice actor budget because Ito and Yui got high quality voice actors! Ito is voiced by Hochu Otsuka, who is known for voicing Jiraiya from Naruto and Urokodaki from Demon Slayer! I honestly didn’t realize it was him until I had to look up his name because his voice sounded a lot chipper than his usual roles. Yui is voiced by Fumi Hirano who is known for being the voice actress of the OG anime darling Lum from Urusei Yastura back in the 80’s and Lum’s mother in the modern remake! She’s got that distinct tone that makes her voice recognizable! Not only do they have high quality voice actors, but young Tsubaki got a high quality VA too! His childhood self is voiced by Chika Anzai who you might know as Chisato from Lycoris Recoil! Like I said, Clover Works really does love to flex their casting prowess.

I’m sorry that I poured out a bit of my personal life onto this review. It just resonated with me, so I couldn’t help but to get a bit too personal. Besides, the episode has a good message about self-acceptance. I honestly loved this episode! I can’t wait to see the transition to the next arc because the respite will come to an end as the fighting will return! What are your thoughts about this episode! Let me know in the comments or in my straw page!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey sex witch! So my question is about female hormone cycles (is that what it's called?). I keep hearing people talk about women when they're ovulating or in their luteal phase or whatever, and I was wondering how accurate those types of jokes are. Like, how much of a chance is there that at a certain point of the month I'm going to be extra emotional or whatever? Or like, is it expected that I'm always horny on my period? I never really got any real sex ed and genuinely I know barely anything actually useful about menstrual cycles :///

hi anon,

many people do experience noticeable emotional changes during different stages of their menstrual cycle due to both fluctuating hormonal levels and, you know, the general stress of walking around being uncomfortable and gushing blood. the degree to which people experience this vary tremendously from person to person and virtually every variation is normal, although increased feelings of depression and even suicidality shortly before the period is most often a sign of a condition called premenstrual dysphoric disorder. PMDD can have severe mental health consequences for the people who have it, although it can often be managed with the use of hormonal birth control to lessen the severity of symptoms.

I can't speak to what the chances are that you'll experience any particular symptoms, because there is no uniform way for this to happen. some people have drastic emotional shifts during certain parts of their menstrual cycle and some people have none. sometimes it can vary from one month to the next. some people get horny and some people get disgusted by the mere thought of sex. it's extremely individual, and whatever norms you observe in yourself won't necessarily be comparable to anyone else.

[razorblade180]

Cryo Menu

Escoffier:Alright you no good bandits, welcome to Escoffier’s Iceberg Lounge! Where we serve the finest frigid delights. I’ll be your head shift while the fabulous Yelan, stunning Shenhe, charming Citlali, and magnificent Furina will be my wonderful helpers for today’s meal. Ladies, tell them about our signatures!

Shenhe:I recommend “The Blue Exorcist” entrée.

Chongyun:*runs forward*

Shenhe:It’s a very light 4 piece combo.

55,000k

Shenhe:Followed by my favorite five piece fillet. The Spirit Blades

210,000k

Shenhe:A fairly straightforward order, but one that’s not only reliable, but incredibly fast to whip up. 265,000 kalories in only 5 seconds.

Chongyun:*stands proudly*

Citlali:Though if need something a tad quicker and on the go, I highly recommend “The Qilin Expresso”

Ganyu:*takes aim*

Citlali:I’m a fan of this one. Mornings aren’t my thing, but with a single shot of this beauty, you’ll wake right up.

70,000k

Ganyu:*smiles*

Furina:Want a taste of the refined? A real treat that’s worth the mora? Then I recommend the delicious “The Heroine of Frost and Sakura”

Ayaka*opens fan*

Furina:A cute and petite pastry that’s light on the pallet.

35,000k

Furina:That’s paired with our one of kind frozen blizzard!

290,000k

Furina:Now I know 325,000 kalories sounds a little steep, but don’t worry. It’s really easy to share it with friends.

Ayaka:*sitting on bandits* Those who finish it all receive a free platter of cold cuts.

Yelan:Need something a little more…personal? No problem. New to our menu is a our club sandwich, “The Knockout”

Wriothesley:*raises fist*

Yelan:This recipe is yet to be refined, but we’ve gotten impressive remarks on our five finger sides.

72,500k

Yelan:The real beef on the sandwich ain’t half bad either…

110,000k

Yelan:Think you can go a few rounds, or will 182,500 kalories leave you throwing in the towel?

Wriothesley:*crosses arms*

Escoffier:Great job ladies! Way to show our entrees. Now we have plenty of sides and appetizers for all of you to experience for yourself but for now, how about a peek our secret menu? For example, our “Tranquil Tea-Lite!”

Ayato:*grips hilt*

Escoffier:This refreshing boba tea goes down easily and delivers a rush of flavor with each sip!

256,000k

Escoffier:Feel free to add additional toppings for extra flavor that rain down on your taste buds.

Ayato:*sheaths blade*

Escoffier:Last but not least, our specialty item on the secret menu.

Nilou:*takes position*

Escoffier: “Dance of Frozen Rapids” Now this dish actually comes in two main parts. Some people only order the dessert…

78,000k

94,000k

Escoffier:It’s a delicious berry burst that literally bursts in your mouth! After the first bite. It’s pretty filling for some. 172,000 kalories alone is sizable. However, it does have a main course fit for a flower goddess!

432,000k!

Nilou:*smiles cutely*

Escoffier: 604,000 kalories for a full course meal. All these wonderful dishes, and that’s not even including the sides that come with every order!

Bandits:*twitching*

Escoffier:Thank you for your time and dining at Escoffier’s Iceberg Lounge. Where we’re always stepping up our game! Come back soon when we debut our latest test in culinary, “Frost Bitten Fins”

Mualani:*winks*

Escoffier:And with your lovely contributions, maybe even the taste of the great blue beast.

Cyro and Hydros: Come back soon! We hope you have a whale of a time!

[al-1-na]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟏 ~ 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (req.)

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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Rafe x older!Reader

𝐂𝐖: Explicit sexual content, age gap (older female reader x younger male), themes of sexual inexperience, smut, 18+

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Rafe Cameron takes his time with an older, inexperienced woman, showing you that passion doesn’t need experience—just the right hands.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭; 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🧸ɞ˚‧｡⋆

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🧸ɞ˚‧｡⋆

You’d always told yourself there were lines you wouldn’t cross.

He was younger. Wilder. Unpredictable. The kind of man who could destroy you if you weren’t careful. But none of that mattered now—not with Rafe standing in the doorway of your bedroom, looking at you like you were the only woman on Earth worth undressing slowly, with reverence.

You weren’t a virgin. You weren’t completely naive. But compared to him—the way he moved, the way he watched your every breath like it meant something—you felt exposed. Like a secret being read out loud.

Maybe that was what drew him to you.

You were older by nearly a decade. When you first met him, he’d been all sharp smiles and cocky swagger. But there was something underneath that—a hunger not just for chaos, but for connection. You’d watched him from a distance, always wondering what it would feel like to be wanted like that.

And now, you knew.

Because he was walking toward you, shirt already discarded, the muscles in his chest flexing with each step. You sat on the edge of the bed, heart beating in your throat, trying to keep your breathing steady.

“You keep looking at me like that,” Rafe murmured, kneeling in front of you, “and I’m not gonna make it past the first five minutes.”

“I’m not even doing anything,” you said, voice shaky.

“That’s the problem,” he grinned. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

His hands settled on your thighs, slowly pushing them apart. You gasped, the air thick with tension. His fingers slid up, inch by inch, until they found the hem of your dress. He paused.

“Can I take this off you?” he asked softly.

You nodded, arms trembling as you lifted them. He pulled the dress over your head in one slow motion, baring your skin to the warm air. His eyes traveled over your chest, your waist, the curve of your hips.

“Beautiful,” he whispered. “You don’t even know how incredible you look like this.”

“I don’t feel…” you paused, hesitating. “I don’t feel like the kind of woman you’re used to.”

“I’m not here for what I’m used to,” he said, standing now, pushing you gently back onto the bed. “I’m here for you.”

You swallowed hard as he leaned down, lips finding yours again. The kiss was slow, melting, his body pressing down just enough to make you feel wanted—craved. His hand cupped your breast, thumb flicking softly over your nipple until you arched into him with a soft moan.

When he moved lower, he took his time. He kissed every inch of your stomach, your hips, the inside of your thighs. When he finally hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and dragged them down, your breath caught.

“I want to taste you,” he said, eyes flicking up. “Let me.”

You spread your legs, heat blooming across your cheeks, and he didn’t waste a second. His tongue was warm and wet and slow, circling your clit before diving down to slide through your folds. The sensation was almost overwhelming. You grabbed at the sheets, hips lifting toward his mouth as he licked you open with practiced precision.

“You’re so sensitive,” he muttered between strokes, groaning as he pushed a finger inside you, curling it just right. “You’ve been needing this for a long time, haven’t you?”

You couldn’t even answer. Your thighs trembled around his head as he worked you closer and closer to release, mouth relentless, finger moving deeper, hitting every spot you didn’t even know existed.

When you came, it was like a wave crashing through you. You cried out, back arching, hands clutching his hair as pleasure shot through every nerve ending.

Rafe didn’t stop until you were twitching, begging him to slow down.

He climbed up your body, kissing you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. Then he leaned back, standing to remove his pants, letting them fall.

Your eyes widened slightly at the sight of him—hard, thick, already glistening at the tip. He caught your look and smiled.

“You can touch me,” he said, reaching for your hand and guiding it to wrap around him. “However you want.”

You explored him slowly, your hand moving along the length of him. He hissed through his teeth.

“If you keep doing that,” he groaned, “I’m not gonna last.”

He leaned down, grabbing a condom from the nightstand and tearing it open. As he rolled it on, he hovered over you again, his expression softer now.

“I’ll go slow,” he said. “Tell me if you need me to stop.”

You nodded, legs spreading wider, body still pulsing from the first orgasm. He pressed the tip to your entrance, pausing to kiss you once more.

Then he pushed in.

Slow. Gentle. Every inch of him stretching you, filling you in a way that made your breath hitch. You weren’t used to this—how intimate it felt. How deeply he looked into your eyes as he sank into you, holding your hips still, whispering how good you felt, how tight you were, how much he wanted to stay inside you forever.

Once he was fully buried, he stopped, letting you adjust. The feeling was intense—hot, full, like nothing you’d ever had before.

“Okay?” he asked, brushing your hair back.

“Yes,” you breathed.

He started to move. Slow thrusts at first, letting you feel every slide, every grind of his hips against yours. He kissed your neck, your collarbone, your shoulder. Each thrust grew deeper, more desperate, his breathing growing ragged as you clenched around him.

The bed creaked. Your moans filled the room, growing louder as the pleasure built again. Rafe’s pace picked up, driving into you with more force, but never too rough—always keeping one hand on your cheek, your thigh, grounding you, guiding you.

“You feel amazing,” he gasped, voice tight. “I’m not gonna last… not with you like this.”

“Don’t stop,” you whimpered. “Please.”

He groaned deeply, his hand sliding between your bodies to rub your clit in fast, messy circles. You cried out again, the second orgasm hitting you hard—your body shuddering beneath him, walls fluttering around his length.

Rafe gritted his teeth, thrusting harder now, chasing his own release. “Gonna come,” he warned, hips slamming into yours, sweat slicking his chest. “Gonna come inside this tight little—”

He choked on a moan, burying himself to the hilt as he came with a low growl, body twitching above you.

You held onto him as he collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms.

For a moment, there was only silence, your bodies tangled together, the room heavy with heat and breath.

Then Rafe smiled against your skin.

“Still think experience is everything?”

You laughed, exhausted and content. “No. I think you just proved otherwise.”

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𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @notkiaralol @rcsbabydoll @cokewithcameron @psychocitylights @favzcarpentr @fatheriimaginedyoutaller @alwaysherother @mavericksice @daryldixon83

[mxtxfanatic]

Hello, hope you are doing well… I'm sorry it's going to be so long, it's just that I was going through Heaven’s Official Blessing’s wiki... When I first read it, I had a very uneasy feeling I couldn’t quite pinpoint. But after reading your meta about Mu Qing and Feng Xin, I finally understood why.

"After the fall of Xianle, Hua Cheng was reintroduced as a ghost fire and was found by Xie Lian.He was told by Xie Lian that Mu Qing had left and additionally was present when Mu Qing requested Xie Lian to leave the mountain meant for cultivation alongisde the 33 gods that humiliated Xie Lian. With Xie Lian being his main priority, Hua Cheng's hatred for Mu Qing grew further"

‘Requested’😭 Bruh

Mu Qing was holding a long saber-and the sharp tip was pointed directly at Xie Lian."Please leave," said Mu Qing, weapon in hand Chapter 98:Thirty-Three Heavenly Officials Fight Over Blessed Land

the nameless ghost declared, "To die in battle for you is my greatest honor."I'm sorry," he replied. "Forget me."The nameless ghost's flickering flames flared brighter. "I won't forget. Your Highness, I am forever your most devoted believer."Xie Lian forced down a sob. "...I've already lost all my believers. Believing in me won't do you any good; it might even bring disaster. Did you know? Even my friend has left me."The nameless ghost declared as if swearing an oath, "I won't.""You will," Xie Lian said.The ghost was insistent. "Believe me, Your Highness.""I don't," Xie Lian said.He no longer believed in anyone, especially himself Chapter 96:Hero Defeated by a Penny

It was said in that context, but without it, it’s easy to misinterpret. And since people often rely on these sites more than actually reading the novel, it becomes a problem.I don’t know—maybe I’m wrong—but it’s giving… like it’s either hua cheng's own perception fault or xie lian's the reason that he continues disliking Mu Qing? What about people making up their minds and going into the novel reading THIS—?? No offense, but?! Also, Xie Lian didn’t just find that ghost fire out of nowhere—he literally saved Hua Cheng and the other ghost fires from the clutches of a greedy maybe mention that too.

"He helps Xie Lian make a present for Hua Cheng's birthday [10] and even pretends to be his servant again when Xie Lian has amnesia. [11]"

"What's going on?"Xie Lian looked up and saw Feng Xin and Mu Qing-but they weren't the same Feng Xin and Mu Qing he knew.Sure, their general appearance was the same, but their demeanor had changed. They didn't seem like two rash young men, but more like generals with years of battle experience under their belts. Moreover, both were wearing black robes that looked rather sumptuous, quite unlike the dress that ordinary folks wore, and quite unlike anything Xie Lian had ever seen them wear.The one who had spoken was Feng Xin, and he walked over. "Your Highness, what are you doing out here by yourself?""That's what I was going to ask," Xie Lian said. "Where did you two run off to? I told you guys to train idioms outside last night, but why could I not find a shadow of you this morning?"An odd look that matched the Lord of Soil and Ground's crossed both Feng Xin and Mu Qing's faces, like they couldn't comprehend what he was saying.Xie Lian felt his head splitting, and he cried, "And what's with those outfits? What in the world is going on?!"Feng Xin looked down at himself and wondered, confused, "What's wrong with my outfit? Isn't this normal?" Chapter 135:Extra 2The Strange Amnesiac Adventures of His Highness the Crown Prince (Part One)... seven seas edition

When did he ever pretend in that whole scene? Like—?? They probably didn’t even know ,one can see from Feng Xin’s confusion that Xie Lian had referred to them as his servants.

"Although Mu Qing admired Xie Lian and wanted to be his f-f-friend, the nature of their dynamic as master and servant complicated this.As a servant he couldn't voice his real thoughts or truly express his personality; in Xie Lian's memory he was always soft-spoken and well-mannered. [13] Xie Lian was oblivious to this issue, thinking that he treated everyone as equals. Though he had an easier time than Feng Xin understanding how Mu Qing was interpreting something, Xie Lian couldn't see the issues in their own relationship.An example of this is the missing pearl earring. Due to an offhand comment, Mu Qing thinks the others are accusing him of stealing it"

Are you sure Xie Lian couldn’t see the issues? Because literally in the next sentence, it says—it's in Mu Qing’s mind, he’s a prisoner of his own thoughts.

then there's Feng Xin

"He was exceedingly loyal and supportive of Xie Lian, only leaving him when Xie Lian orders him to do so. [14]" "One of his most remarkable qualities are his loyalty and devotion, [1] shown through his history with Xie Lian. Feng Xin always supported him and during their first banishment, he refused to leave Xie Lian's side for the longest time despite desperate circumstances.[8][9]"

"Leaving him when Xie lian orders him" "always supported", "refused to leave"? At one point he did but he literally did left him—over what? A single sentence from Xie Lian saying he should stop following him? "loyalty and devotion" to what , huh? an authority figure, not to the person that should’ve been mentioned.

I have nothing against Mu Qing or Feng Xin —they’re interesting characters, no doubt. But the whole wiki sometimes feels like it’s trying too hard to justify their behavior and choices. It’s okay to love a character with flaws; no need to over-defend them. After all, it’s a wiki—not a personal space for fan bias, such sugarcoating! I just needed to vent, but honestly, people should be aware—things like this can really affect how someone interprets canon ...or maybe i don't know I am overthinking this...the whole wiki isn't that bad but it's sigh.

The tgcf wiki was written by a Mu Qing stan who hates Xie Lian and notoriously got into it with me on this blog in which they argued against my meta—that Mu Qing is actually a very classist character that is not a “working-class hero” like fandom pretends—with a headcanon they made up about how Mu Qing hates revolution in respect of his father’s memory because… his dad was executed for being a revolutionary. Idk how bad the svsss wiki is, but both the mdzs and the tgcf wikis are useless as tools to understand the story because they are written by people who aggressively hate the MCs and are using admin control to attempt to twist people’s understanding of the story to oppose them.

Also, Hua Cheng dislikes both Feng Xin and Mu Qing for abandoning Xie Lian, but he treats Mu Qing noticeably worse, almost as if he has personal beef against them that isn’t just tied to their treatment of Xie Lian 🤔 (He does. Both Feng Xin and Mu Qing treat Hong Hong’er like shit, and then Mu Qing kicks Hong’er out of the army out of pettiness. Hua Cheng didn’t just forget this because “it had nothing to do with Xie Lian.”)

[valevntine]

tw: grief, death/loss

hi, i'm not sure if this is going to be posted. i've written it again and again, over and over, debating whether it was too much or not. i hope it isn't. this is deeply personal and you're more than free to skip it. i'm doing this more for myself than anything else, but i also hope that if someone here is going through the same thing, they will then find comfort in my words. <3

many of you might celebrate mother's day today, like me. i've lost my mum almost 5 years ago, and ever since then this day has been a slap to the face i dread arriving. every year i try to do a little something to make myself feel better and to actually talk about her instead of bottling it all up like i always do, so here i am.

not too long i ago i came upon this podcast pedro was invited to, he talks about the loss of his own mother (30min mark). i don't know why i never stumbled upon it before, i just know that the first time i heard him, what he said felt so eerily familiar.

my mum also left during the summer. it was an incredibly crucial period for me, full of important changes. the morning after it was such a beautiful day out, we had been out of quarantine for not too long so a lot of people were in the streets. i cannot begin to explain how odd it all felt: seeing the world continue spinning, everyone's life going on while it felt like mine stopped. i think that was the lowest point i could hit, there's no experience as isolating as the loss of a parent.

afterwards, it felt like everything bloomed, and i feel selfish for saying it. i got accepted into art school, able to finally study what i preferred and to pursuit my dreams of becoming a full time artist. i met wonderful people who i'm incredibly grateful for - they made me realise i'm not as unlovable or unimportant as i thought, i am worth loving and i deserve affection too. i expressed myself without fear of judgement, i grew, i slowly built a version of me i was beginning to like. i feel so happy and accomplished now, it comes with guilt.

i often wonder what would have happened if i didn't get to experience grief at such a young age. because yes, i was 18, but i wasn't done being my mother's baby, i wasn't done being her daughter. i didn't need to grow up yet, not in that way. was it actually a lesson? or was it just cruel, and we, she, didn't deserve it? is it me believing in silly things or is she somehow still here?

but when i visit other cities and find her name written on the walls, i feel her here. she's in my morning coffee, it's the same as the one she made for herself each day. she's in the way i make my bed, she's in every cake i bake. she's in every tulip, in every butterfly. she's in my features every time i look in the mirror, because how lucky am i to be sharing her face, the most beautiful one i've ever seen and the only thing i have left of her. she's in every smile i sport when i get a picture taken, in every "you look just like her". she's in my memories, in my thoughts and dreams, because those transcend time and death. she's here because i am here and as long as i'm here she will always live through me, through all that she taught me and that i will pour out for her.

grief doesn't leave, you just learn to grow around it. it will find you randomly on sunny days, on sleepless nights, in cities across the world, in recipes from your childhood and in the shampoo aisle. grief is weird, every emotion is valid, let yourself feel it all.

and happy mother's day to all the mums on here! you're fantastic 🫶🏻

ti amo mamma, so much it hurts 🤍🌷