#as you can see. i am insane about the boy
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Small Rant About RE
Hello gang... This has been on my mind for awhile. Today we're talking about Resident Evil and particularly Leon stans. Now I'm gonna come out and say I am one of them! I love that silly little blonde man and he's like number 1 on my favorite capcom white boy tier list next to Cody from Final Fight/SF.
tw: mentions of rape, pedophilia, incest, abuse, and my opinion
Let me make it clear, I'm not kink shaming, I'm not advocating for censorship. Art and literature shouldn't be censored. Sex is cool. Kink is cool (when safe and consensual).
I'm gonna be one of those fans real quick and say, I've been an RE fan since I was like 7. That doesn't really mean much since I can't drink legally but I've been in love with Leon since elementary school. I watched my Dad and brother play RE6 co-op and man... Aka I've been in the fandom for a fat minute. Before the RE2 remake came out I'd see the occasional Dead Dove fic but that's whatever. But I have never seen this much dark romance about Leon of all people!
Like. Call it the T-Virus the way it's everywhere I swear I can't scroll down the damn tag without getting hit with a sexual crime. And let me say, I'm not new to fandom culture. I take don't like don't read to heart (I'm super picky LMAO). And I understand that, that's just how big fandoms are, more people, more bad eggs. I'm sure the majority of y'all are sweet people.
BUT I feel like I shouldn't have to say that romanticizing things like pedophilia, rape, abuse, and incest is disgusting in the big year 2025 but here we are. Honestly, I feel this way about a lot of the fics of other fandoms I'm in. I feel crazy seeing it everywhere and it makes me feel like some sort of sexual puritan. Am I insane for wanting freaky smut and not ...freaky smut??
There for sure is a bigger conversation here about how easily accessible porn is and how quick people to fall into these pipelines. Or how booktok caused a rise in the normalization of dark romance troupes and just pure porn writing (I still hate icebreaker). Or how quick form constant content is slowly leaking it's way into everything. But we’d be here for forever…
And like, it's just completely out of character?? Like if you're gonna write about that can it at least be in character? Wesker fits the dark romance thing LEAGUES better. But LEON?? THE POLICE OFFICER?? Did you even watch a walkthrough? Leon is a sweet upstanding guy with lots of trauma, that is the last thing he'd do to ANYONE! Not saying fics have to be completely accurate all the time but there's literally nothing fun about "Omg what if Leon RAPED you!?" HES NOT THE EVIL RESIDENT HERE GUYS! At some point it's not even about Leon (or whoever the fic is about) anymore, it's just someone wanting to share their sexual fantasies online.
These topics are almost never written with any care and are insanely insensitive to the survivors of these acts. I don't know, sexual crimes are literally some of the most deplorable acts of hatred and depravity someone can do onto another person. I can't imagine getting off to the suffering of others (in a heinous crime way not BDSM way) (BDSM is cool). Have some fucking empathy and stop thinking with your goon wad guys <3
Like at least take it to AO3 so that I can filter it out or smth...
Edit: I just woke up and remembered what else I was gonna say.
You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat their fictional characters. Another thing I don’t like are the Gooner mods for the games. Like they’re fun every once in a while and like if it’s a capcom game you have to expect it. At some point though, it just stops being sexy and feels gross or uncomfortable.
Idk maybe I’m in the minority here but there has never been a single time where I was playing any RE game and thought to myself, “man… I wish I could see Leon’s end rod whipping in the wind rn…” Obviously, I wanna see that man oiled up butt booty naked doing jumping jacks like as most normal people do but… zawg…
That’s also like an actual person?? At least for the remakes. Maybe this just isn’t my dove to eat but the treat Leon like some sort doll. I know it’s kinda weak to be like this for a fictional person but yeah </3
#resident evil 2 remake#resident evil 2#resident evil#re2 remake#RE#RE2#re2 leon#re4 remake#re4 leon#re4#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#FREELEON2025
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Can I request a fic where Gyomeis wife is pregnant with twins? I saw how you wrote Sanemi and I just absolutely loved it. Maybe Gyomei could start off being nervous (he hopes the babies dont inherit his blindness so he’s happy y/n is pregnant but nervous at the same time)
I would just love to see how attentive he would treat her even if he’s blind. Like he’s insanely strong so carrying her or coming behind her to gently lift her tummy to ease the tension in her back and off her bladder wouldn’t be a problem. He’d LOVE touching her belly and holding her. I think he’d do so well with twin boys. 🩷🥹
Hi @totallygyomeiswife !
A/n: This Sanemi fic will always be the one I enjoyed writing the most😍 and I also thought about writing one for Gyomei but I ended up starting other projects and I left that one aside but now that you sent the request I decided to write it.
I would give anything to see a man that size holding his tiny baby in his hands. It would be so cute❤️🥹
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/deefb84a7abe9718f345ef6012874fa9/82b0394969c78a56-f2/s540x810/ef08f72d6158c72829f5ce232ecfa8032557b6d2.jpg)
The first rays of sunlight entered through the crack between the window and the curtain, waking you up. You slowly sat up in bed and when you looked to the side, all you could see were the sheets unfolded and an empty space. Gyomei had probably gotten up before sunrise to go to a quieter place to say his prayers. A habit you were already used to.
You felt nauseous and unwell, it seemed like you were going to vomit. Something you had been feeling for a long time and it wasn't just when you woke up, it was also with certain smells that made you feel like this. The nausea was starting to intensify and that was when you ran to the bathroom to throw up.
When that episode was over, you got up a little shakily and flushed the toilet. Your eyes faced your own reflection in the mirror as you washed your face and pondered what had just happened.
You didn't want to think that there was something wrong with your health, but something else popped into your mind and you widened your eyes at the thought.
"Could it be?" You wondered. "No, maybe it's not that. I mean..." You closed your eyes and sighed
It was very likely that it could be what you were thinking. It was very likely that you could be pregnant.
You then left the bathroom to get dressed and go to the butterfly mansion to clarify this whole situation.
~~~
You entered the bedroom and saw Gyomei sitting on the balcony. You approached him, and even without seeing, he could feel your presence.
"These footsteps sound exactly like those of my lovely wife, am I right?" He asked with a little smile
"Yes, you are." You smiled, sitting next to him, holding one of his huge hands that covered yours
You remained silent for a while, caressing the calloused skin of his hands, the result of his hard training. You were thoughtful and tense, something he could feel.
"Are you okay, my love?" He asked, looking to the side where you were, as if he could see you there.
"Yes, it's just..." You were going to continue the sentence, but you got a little nervous. "I've had something to tell you for a while, but I'm afraid."
"You can tell me, my dear, I'll always be here to listen to you. There's no need to be afraid."
"Gyomei, I went to talk to Shinobu a few days ago and... and I found out something."
"What? You don't have anything serious, do you?" Gyomei felt tears on the verge of falling down his face
"No, it's nothing like that. Mei, I'm pregnant." You finally spoke and it was then that the tears fell down his face
You looked at him and he was crying, his hand intertwined with yours on your lap as he cried, making you cry too. You thought he was sad about the news, but he soon proved otherwise.
"I didn't know how you would react. I didn't want to tell you because I was scared and anxious." You whimpered with a few sniffles
"My love, I'm just so moved. You're carrying something so precious and so innocent inside your womb, something that belongs to both of us and that I will protect no matter what." He answered, making your heart feel lighter at that moment.
"Oh, my love." You moved to his lap, hugging him just to feel his strong arms around you, giving you the great feeling of protection that you loved to feel
~~~
He decided to talk to the master Ubuyashiki after finding out he was going to be a father so that he could have the opportunity to spend more time with you, not going on as many missions as before. Unless it was an emergency that he really had to be called in for.
The master not only congratulated him but also agreed, which made tears of gratitude fall.
When his hands felt your belly start to grow, he made a point of carrying you everywhere in the house. You only got out of his arms when you sat at the table or when he laid you down.
When you had insecurities about looking heavier, he assured you that you were still perfect and that there was nothing that his strong arms couldn't carry.
"My love, I may be blind but I'm still sure that you're still beautiful." He said and you cried
Those months also made you more sensitive and now he wasn't the only one who cried over everything.
He loved the afternoons you two spent together cuddling and when he could run his hand over your round, soft belly.
"What do you think it is, love?" You asked, placing your hand over his. "A boy or a girl?"
"Maybe a girl with a beautiful, cheerful voice like her mother, or a strong boy like me." He smiled and you wiped his tears with your thumb, caressing his cheeks."I just hope they come out with good health and that they in no way inherit my blindness. I prayed hard that they would have the blessing of being able to see when they were born."
"Everything will be fine, my love. Whatever it is, they will come healthy and with good eyes so that they can see not only me but also the wonderful and loving father that you are." You smiled at him, holding his face with both hands. "I love you." You placed a kiss on his lips and he wrapped you in a tight hug
"Me too, my dear."
~~~
"The master asked that all the hashiras gather in the meeting room tonight. I wanted to stay here with you, but I don't think I can. I'm sorry." Gyomei said, lowering his gaze a little, but you comforted him by holding his hands
"It's okay, baby. I'll be fine, don't worry."
"I know, but even so... It's already night and those creatures are out there. I'm afraid the same thing will happen that happened that night when I lost all those people in the temple."He said
He didn't want to lose his wife and child in the same night. He couldn't bear to live through a night like that again.
"Gyomei, I promise. I'll be fine and no one will hurt me. Do you trust me?"
"Alright, then. I'll go, even if I'm a little nervous, but everything will be fine." He gave an optimistic smile
"Come here, my big boy." You raised your arms, trying to embrace his broad frame that towered over yours. He was as big as his heart. A true gentle giant.
~~~
It had been some time since he had left and you now found yourself sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard while holding the Buddhist rosary he had left with you as a protection. The same rosary he always carried in his hands during prayers in which he asked for protection over you and your womb and also for strength for him so he could protect his family.
You looked at the rosary beads and all you could think about was your husband's face. He prayed each one patiently and full of faith.
A strong contraction appeared and you held your belly with a groan of pain. You thought it had been just another random kick from the baby, but seeing how the pain only intensified, you realized that it was not just another kick, but the birth of your baby.
You began to cry in pain and clutched his rosary tightly, hoping that he would come home soon to help you.
"And that's it for today, my children, the meeting is over." Master Ubuyashiki declared and the hashiras bowed before leaving
Gyomei stood up but the master held his hand, which made him stop and sit down again.
"Oyakata-sama? Is everything okay?" The hashira asked
"I just wanted to wish you good luck with the birth of your children. They are twins." The master said, shocking Gyomei
"How... How did you know?"
"I had a vision a night after you told me. I also scheduled this meeting so I could tell you this. You must take care of Y/n, she needs you. I believe you will be a good father. I trust you, Gyomei Himejima." The master said with a proud smile and the hashira was soon moved
"Thank you, oyakata-sama!" He knelt and bowed in respect. "I will pray for your health."
"Thank you."
When he got home, Gyomei heard screams coming from the bedroom and immediately thought the worst. He followed the sound of the screams of pain and reached the bedroom where you were crying.
"Y/N!? What's going on?" He asked, approaching the bed
"Gyomei... Help me...it's now." Your words came out between sobs and moans of pain, unable to form a plausible sentence, but he soon realized what it was about
"I'm going to take you to the butterfly mansion. Let's go." He carried your body in his arms and left the house
The entire butterfly mansion was shocked when they saw the stone hashira come running in with you in his arms.
It was a difficult time, with a lot of pain, crying, and emotion. Gyomei didn't let go of your hand for a single moment. Bringing two boys into the world caused you a lot of pain and he could feel it in the way you held his hand tightly.
The master was right, they were twin boys and according to Shinobu, both were in good health. He felt great relief in his heart for them, but those tears he was shedding were not only from emotion for the birth of the boys but also from pity for you for having gone through all that.
You slowly turned your head to the side to see your husband crying and holding your hand. He was your greatest support throughout that special moment and his affection and care made you love him even more.
"Honey, it's okay." You spoke softly, without strength, but he raised his head enough for you to bring your fingers to his face and wipe his tears as you always did, even when he cried over small things."I'm a little weak but... I did my best to bring our boys into this world. After all, they were two little boys... they will be strong like their father." You smiled and he smiled back
"Thank you for being so strong during all this time, I will do my best for you and for them." Gyomei said, leaning in and kissing you
His kisses were always slow and very soft, coming with a lot of love and affection.
"I love you." You whispered against his lips
Shinobu entered the room with the newborns in her arms and blush when she saw you two so close.
"Am I interrupting something?" She giggled
"Oh, no, it's okay." You stated, feeling your cheeks turning red
"I just came to give you what's yours. Your cute little boys." She said, handing the boys into your arms
"My beautiful boys." You said, tears of joy fall as you picked up the little ones. "I love you two."
"Y/n, can I hold them?" Gyomei asked
"Of course you can." You handed them to him and he held them as if they were made of glass
That man's hands were strong enough to destroy a demon, but at that moment they felt like velvet, holding something as innocent as a baby.
He cried so much because his blindness couldn't allow him to see their faces, but at the same time, the feeling of having them in his hands made his heart explode with joy.
"I can't see them but I can tell they are two wonderful blessings." He said and you smiled at how tiny they looked in his hands.
"They'll be as proud of you as I am, Gyomei." You said, kissing his forehead where his scar was. "You'll be a good father."
"And you'll be a wonderful mother."
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba anime#demon slayer anime#kimetsu no yaiba fandom#demon slayer fandom#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x you#kimetsu no yaiba fic#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x you#demon slayer fic#himejima gyomei#gyomei himejima#gyomei x reader#gyomei x y/n#gyomei x you#kny gyomei#fluff#anime blog#anime writing blog#fluff imagine
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BREAKING NEWS: make sure this guy wins a card game competition so that he may SMILE and HUM THE VICTORY FANFARE TO HIMSELF
#GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD#HE'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE AND DORKY#HE LOOKS SO HAPPY LOOK AT HIM!!!! LOOK AT HIS FACE#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH....#he looked like he wanted to gut the queensblood guy but then he gets the trophy and he immediately goes :)#AND THEN HE HUMS THE VICTORY FANFARE?????? SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP#LEAVE ME ALONE NO ONE TOUCH ME#i am going to save this clip and keep it until the universe goes cold#cloud strife#as you can see. i am insane about the boy#ff7 rebirth spoilers#ff7#ff7 rebirth#agnirambles
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i wanna know more about the jerries/jeris
do you want to know the most horrific thing about them?
the lords did nothing to make them the way they are.
yes, the jerry jr was turned into the axeman because of the witchwood, which does what it does because of the lords, but everything leading up to that is just human nature. i see the "girl jeri is nibbly" or "they were influenced by a lord to do the thngs they do" and i need people to understand that that's just. not true. they're just like that. they were taught to be like that by their parents and, more accurately, their church. it's horrifyingly accurate how religion has shaped them into non-functional human beings, who would rather potentially lose their child to the many, many dangers of the literal woods than admit that they had sex outside of marriage.
it's only because it's hatchetfield that jerry jr grew the way he did. there was no lord's intervention in their decision to keep the baby, or to drop out of school to care for him, or to keep him seperated from any other people, or to revolve their lives around the idea that they'd committed a sin and needed to pay by pushing celibacy rather than. i don't know. properly raising their child. it was the way they were taught. the toxic pushing of overexaggerated christian ideals is what molded them. can you imagine being in their place? being a scared teenager and knowing that if you told any of the people you care about most your secret that they would shun you and disown you?
the only people they felt any kind of safe around were each other; of course they're going to be codependent. and even then, they're disgusted by each other for leading them to sin. they're stuck together unwillingly, because without the other, they're alone.
#definitely an ask#and thats not to MENTION what kind of stress they were under when jerry jr started getting less and less human#imagine being completely and utterly alienated from everyone and everything except your parents who pretty much hate each other#and learning one thing: abstinence before marriage#that would do something to your psyche#and im gonna be quickly mentioning my minotaur stuff because im insane#people are terrified of the minotaur purely because he was born the way he was. and he was put in the labyrinth for no fault of his own#in which he THEN became a monster. not because he was one from birth#but because people treated him like one. and youre built by those around you#can you see the connection here#boy jerry#girl jeri#the axeman#abstinence camp#nightmare time 2#hatchetfield#you guys severely underestimate how unwell i am about them#i keep. trying. to draw. but all my hands want to do is write paragraphs about the jeri/rys#anyway working on an axeman drawing godbless#lets hope this makes sense and im not just pulling words out of my ass#I KEEP FORGETTING HE HAS A NAME OTHER THAN LIL JERRY AND CALLING HIM THE AXEMAN. SORRY LUMBER AXE
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✨ Star Friends ✨
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/299874aa6c1cbdb9cb1ef6ca1e527aea/b9f61729d6e81702-2d/s540x810/340196f7bc7023ba76544c2f3dce096c450be5e5.jpg)
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When I found out that @chessman-protocol boy Crit liked Astronomy, let’s just say I was beyond estatic and immediately planned this little comic. Here’s to my boy Vincent doing his best to make friends with folks who share similar interests 😅💙
Funny enough, I didn’t realize I put this in Vincent character’s until I looked at the whole thing, but Vincent very much shares the lack of stranger danger the way I did/ I do to this day. To quote one of my past managers I’m “abnormally friendly” or whatever
I can’t tell you how many times even as a small child (drove my parents nuts) that I saw a cool person with whatever connecting factor and I just straight up walked to them and was like “Ok cool. We’re friends now.” And nobody’s really stopped me? So apparently I have friends now. 😆
Vincent however is just a wholesome baby boy who doesn’t realize he’s actually an intimidating hunk of a turtle and randomly walking up to strangers and not saying anything can be taken the wrong way.
Like I said, he’s trying his best. He wasn’t exactly the most socialized if you can’t tell, but he does love dearly and is certainly a boone of a friend to have once you get past the inevitable social awkwardness. He’s loyal to put because he really doesn’t know better, and I adore him for that. Anyway, dunno if Crit knows any ASL or not, but either way Vincent is just excited to meet somebody else who likes space ✨🌌 💙
#just being jayus#doing this ugly and scared#my boy <3#Vincent my beloved#rottmnt original character#rottmnt oc#original comic#rottmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#time to go feral in the comments again; please ignore the ramblings of an insane person#Fun fact: Vincent is mute (late mutation and didn’t fully develop vocal chords) and so he only speaks turtle and partial ASL#Morrocoy Tortoise AKA Yellow or Red Footed Tortoise bop their head to assert dominance and show emotions#Head hopping and headbutting is Vincent’s tic and you can tell how he’s feeling by how fast or slow he goes because it’s a VIBE#Working on this comic was like the preverbal attempt of taking a horse to water#except this horse is a pony (anything under 14 hands is of the devil) and would not even spare it a glance unless it was perfection#Alas mockery and spite is unfortunately my demise and I could not handle the blank page any longer#Can you see how my style changed when the focus and subject changed?😅#Forgive me my son#for I have not learned to draw you from all angles yet.#Why did I make you so pretty and detailed in my head and yet have my hand betray you?!#The true tragedy is when your idea level is not at your skill level bECaUsE I KnOw wHaT hEs SuPpOsEd To LoOk LiKe BuT I CaNt DrAw HiM yEt#So here we are and I am accutely aware of how much work there is to be done. I’m looking at you flippin turtle anatomy#But hey we all have to start somewhere#so here I am#I tried and by golly I will keep trying. Vincent deserves that much 😅🧡🫡#I just looked back at this and realized I MISSED A STINKING PANEL. And Vincent’s shirt.#Flips a table in my mind#Also I’ve never made a mute character before so if anybody has notes especially about ASL PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E lemme know.#Wanna make sure I represent the peoples correctly 🫡🧡
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we would sell anything just to buy who we're not // we kill our way to heaven
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#art#art:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearart#ok so 1st of all: i'm sorry. no i'm not. yes i am. no#2nd of all: do not look at ruvik's scarring for too long i got lazy somewhere along the way#3rd of all: this piece takes place YEARS after the conclusion of both games. i have my own imaginary tew3 AND tew4. don't worry about it#4th of all: the way i see it is that eventually ruben's own appearance starts overwriting leslie's so he looks mostly like himself again#(just with hair and eyebrows and eyelashes. thanks leslie)#5th of all: yes i gave him a hearing aid the boy has survived a barn fire and part of his ear got burned away. it makes sense. to me#6th of all: yes i gave him pretty princess eyelashes and beautiful brown doe eyes and a nose bump. i will die on this hill#7th of all: when i designed nathan all those years back i did not even think about the color symbolism going on with his hair#which is now enhanced by the white patches in his eyebrow and eyelashes too. but yeah that's there now. much to think about!#and in this piece it's also in the clothing i gave them. didn't think about that either that just kinda happened. anyway#thank you for tuning in today i know i'm insane about these guys but like what can you do. sorry. bye#no wait hold on one more thing i made ruben taller than canon so he can hover over nathan like some victorian era skinny twinkish ghoul#not that nathan isn't a ghoul but. actually nathan is more ghoulish his base skin color is paler than ruben's. ok bye for real now#if you read all of that we will have a soft and bright late spring wedding with easily digestible food
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Soooo I accidentally went ahead and made a bunch of fanart for "oh, you're my best friend," by @cottonmouthcandy ? It was supposed be be just Bonnie, but then Shanklin just appeared out of nowhere, which, good for him.
Anyway, give the fic a read! It's a very lovely Gravity Falls Pokemon AU with great writing!
#Give me a second I'm gonna yap so so hard once I get the main tags out of the way#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#gravity falls au#also it's still january sooo#stanuary#OKAY SO#These were mostly just doodles I made to figure out designs you know? I wanted them to be somewhat unique#but not be too different from the normal Pokemon designs. So these are not entirely finalized in my mind yet#For Bonnie; she wasn't always Stan's but I still wanted to incorporate his themes into her design so I made her tail resemble flames?#Since fire symbolism is a big part of Stan's character. I also made her “hair” have waves to both distinguish her a bit but also to#bring in a subtle ocean connection. It's not very obvious but that's fine. She'll probably also change a bit in Stan's care as life goes on#My one regret is that she doesn't look ominous enough in these pictures. I need to make her a little bit more Creature.#And For the twin pokemon oh boy..#Since they are the twins' childhood pokemon I think they'd normally probably have like. Accesories and stuff. I just didn't draw any here.#I gave Shanklin sharper than usual teeth and a head lighter than his body as sort of a nod to his possum counterpart#Though it's not that obvious with the shading. Also not obvious is a lot of tiny scars from scraps he'd gotten in over the years#Frilliam in the corner looks so basic I'm sorry Frilliam. In my defense that sketch wasn't supposed to actually be finalized#Huh. What'd you say? “The gem in Frilliam's shell kinda looks like a singular eye”? See I have absolutely no idea what you are talking abou#Also Slowkings have a warmer color palette in the Pokedex than Slowbros and I decided to commit to that because like#Stan is usually associated with red and warm colors whereas Ford is usually associated with blue and cool colors.#So their Pokemons being the opposite of that sounded cool#Also kinda unrelated kinda not I listened to so much mitski while drawing these it's insane. It was for the mood.#That pic of Shanklin has like. Francis forever playing in the back to me.#But anyways as you can see I am very normal about making fanart for things. (< blatant lie of someone who loves to yap)#Also dear author of the fic if you're still reading I kinda just assumed you wouldn't mind being tagged? If you do just tell me#and i'll delete it
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I've recently been thinking about the difference between Edwin’s experience in Hell in the comics vs. the show and what it says about the differences in characterization.
(Please note that I haven't read the comics completely yet, this is really just what came to mind when re-reading the boys' story from The Sandman.)
This is how Edwin describes Hell in the comics, when his character is first introduced:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0912045bae741ab832000a9a84e265dc/f38838ce6085de6a-62/s540x810/98a9372692417526b9b78a825024ad084771a3f3.jpg)
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"It was just corridors.
And I was hurrying down these corridors, because I knew I was late for something, but I couldn't quite remember what.
And then I realized that there was something behind me. Something horrible. But it was always one or two bends of the corridor behind. And even though it wasn't making any noise I knew it was always there.
And if I started to run it would get me.
So I just kept walking, as fast as I could. Down these corridors. With something silently walking behind me. Something sad and lonely and terrible."
So at first glance, his torture simply seems more purely psychological here than on the show. And it sounds horrific, especially for this even younger version of him. Now, it's obviously a different version of events, two seperate canons, so it's no use to speculate if the thing that stalks comic!Edwin through Hell is the Babydoll Spider or something completely different, or if the same parameters apply. But I don't think that really matters. Because it is his reaction to this situation that truly stuck out to me:
"And if I started to run it would get me. So I just kept walking"
This Edwin knows he is going to get caught, not from experience, but he is aware of it in the way you just know certain things in your dreams sometimes. (He does describe it feeling like a nightmare, after all.) He can feel that he would get caught, and so he just keeps walking. He never tries to make a run for it, just to see what would actually happen, or to try to outrun whatever would give chase. He keeps walking, as fast as he can, but still walking.
And then we have show!Edwin. He knows he will get caught eventually from excruciating experience, over and over and over. "The moment I run it'll chase. And I can't get away from it." He knows he'll trip it off if he runs, or if he is too loud. And yet he runs. He doesn't stop running for seven decades.
#can you tell I am super normal about him?? lol#I see people talk about the amount of sheer will and tenacity it must have taken to get out of Hell & I think this showcases that even more#bc there is a comparison. an alternative#I think this also fits really well with the difference that in the comics Edwin doesn't get out of Hell on his own#but is kind of yeeted out with a bunch of other souls#(including his murderers. who also end up killing Charles. which is a whole different thing I'm a bit insane about)#also I wonder if the “something sad & lonely & terrible” stalking him is symbolic of his existence up to that point#bc that sure is how I would describe it#I know there are interpretations of the Doll Spider as a manifestation of Edwin's issues as well#Dead Boy Detectives#meta
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The past couple weeks it’s been really hitting me how much harder it’s been teaching Pride and Prejudice this year—which was so disappointing at first? Because works I’ve traditionally had a harder time with I’ve felt like i’ve broken new ground while teaching and am teaching the kids BETTER. So initially I was so frustrated that my historically easiest work to teach was feeling so difficult! But there’s been some good days that have let me see that part of what was happening was that I have simply never reached this number of kids with pride and prejudice before and so consequently I have never had so many kinds of reactions before! In the waking up from the sleep of simply never paying attention there IS going to be plenty of stupidity, contrariness, crankiness, and almost arguing? Like even with themsELVES. And that’s a good thing.
#it’s hard because I am simply very sensitive and very tired#but I know it’s so good#like I just want to reach as many of them as possible and draw them in#and sometimes the words they say—as hard to hear as it can be for me—are simply proof they are being reached#something is Happening to them#of course not all. there is the usual garden variety boredom adolescent angst and checked out-ness#but this is more than that#anywayyyy of course this is mostly about teaching teenage boys#they’re not going to show you when they’re moved. in words.#but it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening#I talked to another teacher today about it and she goes ‘I can see it happening among them too’#and it has helped! because I really was just in my head about it#first about the book itself (an insane thing but I had a bit of a wobble of just like. okay should I be teaching this)#and then about my own ability.#but it’s just that thing of leveling up.#and yeah some days it DOES make me miss the time when I and the book was sooooo under the radar that 90% of the class quietly checked out#and me and the rest of the students had an undetected fun time#I LIKE to stay in the shadows. in the peace and quiet#but clearly I am not meant to and I have a true compulsion to draw in as many people as possible#it can be scary but I know it’s good#teaching tag#ANYWAYS. thanks for listening
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*remembers Dungeon Meshi* The Winged Lion
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#fucked up fucked up fucked up for real. insane. Incredible. inspiring. 10/10 no notes perfect escalation of themes i am eating the wall#i can't believe nobody has been talking about him. like. come on am i the only one here profoundly insane about#humanity as a horror? like am i the only one in this place for whom the holy grail is the transformation into something human?#or the realisation that you are something human?#like come on nobody is on board here?#like come ooooon it's such a classic the prototype is literally The La//st Uni//corn#i know several of examples of this and it slays every time. banger after banger after banger anyway you cook it#humanity being something fully unnatural that is being forced upon the character (The La//st Uni//corn)? banger#humanity being something that you are NOT supposed to be but are and perhaps have always been and that is not allowed#that is bad and wrong and it cannot be true (Visser I and her short-lived husband from Ani//morphs) (i keep forgetting her name even though#i love her to bits)#humanity being something you naturally aren't but still you're more human than any human will ever be and others can see it (Castle//vania)?#humanity being something alien and horrible to you that you nonetheless become due to nothing but your own actions#no matter how much you try to claim that it's against your will (Dreamcatcher)?#humanity being something you are not at all supposed to be and were never supposed to become and not even the#universe knows how it happened but it did and perhaps it's a flaw of your design but here we are now and boy don't you just want something#for yourself (Dun//geon Me//shi)?#literally banger after banger
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FUCK RECENT BOOK JUST ENDED?!?!???!!
#i have been away too long. WEIRD ass position to be in.#constantly obsessing over my interest but getting scared to interact w it outside of the mind palace#gguuuhhh..... the... ISSUES....... why do i have so many of them...#I NEVER EVEN FULLY FINISHED SEIDER'S BOOK. i was scared of disappointment and scared of an ending#ugh .. but i am... so invested in ratatoskr... alfonse's insane dynamic w her. even if we don't see more of it#like. just the fact that we got That Scene. gave me enough of alfonse's character to work w for A LIFE TIME.#like to me. it can DIRECTLY translate to how he theoretically has been w sharena growing up.#and it still drives me so insane that alfonse has no personal attachment to ratatoskr and is (EVEN SELF ADMITTED!)#using her to his own ends. BUT. BUT. he's still so fucking good to her??? respecting her autonomy#again even if that WAS to win her over. like he was So good about it. IDK IDK IT'S THAT MIXTURE#of an act being purely practical and even self-serving. but he's honest and kind about it.#and ultimately it's on her if she wants to accept that under the given conditions/expectations.#and then ofc the Scheming. alfonse's METICULOUS ride or die act. ratatoskr made the informed choice to trust him#AND BOY HOWDY. WHAT THE FUCK. SIR. i KNOW you have your reasons and all of this is a means to an end#AND THAT'S WHAT DRIVES ME EVEN MORE INSANE. give him a compelling enough reason not just personal practical too#and even if he met you like yesterday. or maybe generously. maybe a week has passed.#this guy is both READY and WILLING. to put his life on the line for you. GOD.#uhghhhh... maybe i should actually play feh.........
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i got offered the promotion at work.... why am i every business owners wettest dream damn....
#yapping#yes my ocd is horrible for my mental health but boy is it good for my wallet !!!!#its not OFFICIAL yet#but it was offered to me and i accepted so theyre seeing how they want to proceed now#cause its not just about me theres a shit ton of changes they want to make that include switching like 5 peoples schedules around#but my team leader said that most of those changes being possible depended on whether i would accept this or not#so well see#id be a team leader myself now#the feminine urge to become a power hungry dictator control freak at work.......#id be switching from my current early morning shifts to late night shifts which is much less healthy on paper#but my body is made for sleeping late i physically can not go to bed before 3am even now when i wake up at 5:30#i might have the money to renovate my apartment now cause i think this comes with a 20% pay increase which is a lotttt#i basically will be earning two incomes myself now 😭#dani said he fully believes Ace Of Spades exists at this point cause everything always ends up going my way in the end#i know it may seem like im flexing but please be aware when i started this job a year and a half ago i was borderline homeless 😐#so its a huge deal for me 😭 and really quickly done as well which is why its so insane#like. in a year and a half only i went from borderline homeless and my parents keeping me on constant phonecalls#cause they were worried id off myself if i hung up#to being a homeowner that earns two incomes by herself while working from home#i feel like in most companies hard work doesnt rly pay off tbh i was just lucky to get into one of the few companies where they do value it#the literal CEO is my biggest dickrider 😭 but i do appreciate him giving me raises randomly cause he feels like i deserve it#but yeah !!!! apparently life altering anxiety that forces you to compulsively do perfect work at any job you ever do#because making mistakes and not giving it your 110% feels like a moral failure so you feel sick at the very thought of it#is apparently what makes the dream worker#if only they knew i dont actually care about this in any capacity.... i am just fucked in the head in a way that works im their favour 😭#this is why all of my ex bosses begged me to stay when i quit teehee#im yapping too much but yeah !! heall yeah money !!
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chnt fandom was so mean to you and for what🙁ur so cool..
i can think of a couple reasons
#the whole transfem elijah situation#saying i related to elijah in some way#everyone either hating elijah or wanting to fuck her#the people who want to fuck her get blocked#so they probably hate me for blocking them over that#the people who hate elijah are so annoying about it so im mean back to them#they hate that shit for some reason#probably dont like the million elijah drawings that much either#someone hates me because i didnt like being accused of an egg laying kink#joke or not dont accuse someone you dont know of an egg laying kink???#that one was weird#couple people on twitter hate me because my ex said something about me i genuinely dont know what i did there but#like my only context was one screenshot of a priv account who was also confused about what i did and man i took that shit to heart#like i was gone for a month that shit sucked worst depressive state i have ever been in um#theres probably a couple people who were mad about me using ai with the homophobic elijah volkov copypasta#there was someone on my strawpage a while back who got mad at me for that so at least one person is#they said “you talk alot of all ai is bad for someone who homophobic elijah volkov” or something like that#which is funny because i havent used ai at all since homophobic elijah volkov#theres probably more i cant be remembering all the shit i did man#most of it is so insanely harmless like ok u hate to see a cute girl winning#also people hate when u ship a “bad” character with a “good” character#example uh rowlijah#so yeah theres a couple reasons i can think of#hated by an entire fandom at only 14 years old what a time to be alive#to be fair most 14 year olds are annoying#this includes me#like man i look back at the shit i said from like march and man i was annoying as fuck!!!! i probably still am!!!!#but idgaf... a boy can be annoying and obnoxious and sometimes thats ok
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UM, ASTER/YAKUMO I ONLY *JUST* FOUND? HELLO?
I've never felt so seen. So represented. Thank u aster. Here are some of my fave lines
#after reading this i had to consult The Chart to see if it lined up with the fic and#well. yeah. guess it did 😂😂😂😂#narration in aster's voice is so wonderfully comedic and snarky i loved every second of it. u manipulative gremlin#WHY IS YAKUMO SO CUTE HE SHOULDnT BE CUTE BUT I WANTNA *knuckles turning white from my trembling iron fist*#what was that picture of yakumo with the comment like [boys with big brown eyes like a baby cow stfu]#yeah that thing. that image was pulsing throughout the fic. intrusive adoring thought#aster sees yakumo's big soulful innocent eyes looking up at him and he's all#i need to slaughter him. i need to pound him into cutlets and distribute him to the masses for insane profit#ah..... is this cuteness aggression...#I NEED TO BULLY HIM. HE IS TRYNIG SO HARD TO BE GOOD I NEED TO#hyperventilates into my pizza box#sipping tea and reading while occasionally yelling out#SO true bestie [aster]. (melodramatic sigh)#idk why it's funny that yakumo squeaks in fic. it is SO FUNNY. hey look it's a squeaky mouse#wait he's a snake? are u sure? dont snake eat mice?...........ARE U SURE HE ISN'T A TINY minuscule RODENT LIVING INSIDE A DAISY? NO???#BIG DANGEROUS BLACK SHADOWY VENOMOUS SNAKE? ok..............sounds fake..........but if u say so........................#i'm fine. i'm not still having a Time of accepting mr serpent into my life. what are u talking about. i am fine.#i am reading words and acting in ways#hahahaaha! how can you awaken something when i already know it's awake??!!#(spoiler alert: i was not truly aware of its awakeness but i've been thinking of this fic for days so i'm pretty sure the awakening is NOW)#(insert pillar men theme) (sighs wearily at my own clownery)
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What if I committed myself to writing drawing and animating my very own show despite having 0 animation experience and also being bad a drawing because I realized an extremely well known public domain property is actually an issekai and I need a female-lead shonen that fucks incredibly hard like Kill la Kill except if it wasn’t. Like That™
#I can see the opener when I close my eyes#and even if I never do anything with it I must exorcise the art demons#I’ve been rewatching kill la kill and I really regret to inform you all that it is really so fucking good#except WHY did it have to be LIKE THAT#it’s like that onion article : heartbreaking! worst person you know just made a great point !#heartbreaking! most misogynistic anime you’ve ever seen just had an incredibly well animated fight scene that fucked !#anyway if you’re wondering what the property is it’s the nutcracker#the nutcracker is a shojo issekai I am prepared to fight about it#like haven’t you idiots seen the Barbie nutcracker? that but more blood and metaphors about being cannon fodder for a corrupt system#if you guys are wondering if I’m insane the answer is yes absolutely#brb gotta go draw the nutcracker as a sexy white haired anime boy#I’m also certain I’m not the first person to either do this or have this idea#but I don’t care it’s my idea now and I’m rocking w it
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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy
#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer#the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore#but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour#it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team#because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool#not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that#and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good#but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months#idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3#which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue#I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time#I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people#I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things#anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating#i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges#he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward#which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more#i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR#but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also#1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik#two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to#luke.txt
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