#as much as i loved him and as badly as we left things i still care about him. and that means i still care about the Fic.
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tokyoteddywolf · 9 months ago
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Urgh
I'm debating posting The Fic, the fixit for the Teal Mask arc of Pokémon Scarlet/Violet. I've already written a sort of self insert slash fix it for the main game, and I was working on the second part, the Kitakami first part.
See, the problem is the fact that me and the guy who edited/helped/has a main character in the story are... no longer friends, to put it plainly. Ended badly, too, which I regret, but not like there's much I can do about it.
So do I rename the character? Leave it to rot in my docs? Keep everything and finish and post it? I don't know. And I can't exactly ask him. Like I said. We ended it very badly, and I regret it some, but the damage is done with no way to fix it, so we shrug and move on with our lives.
But anyways, my main deal is I don't want to leave my lovely labor of love to stagnate in my Google docs. I want to finish and post it. I want to make the story mine again, since it was my idea in the first place. Regardless of dead rotting friendships still freshly murdered and cooling, burned bridges and all that.
I'm gonna leave a poll then, yall decide what I should do. But I do plan to finish that fic and post it to my AO3 account. Peace.
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catcatb0y · 13 days ago
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Every time Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel has a glimpse of genuinely GOOD WRITING, I go insane. Both of these shows feel like edging to me, like they will tease me with these bangers and then leave me to dry EVERY DAMN TIME.
#everywhere it's all 'Blitzo and Stolas' character development' 'Stolitz is back baby' 'I love to see them so healthy'#boring. bland. blah.#I mean yeah it's TECHNICALLY ''character development'' but not really?#and it's not good either#their sudden healthy bs came so far out of left field and it makes literally no sense#their current dynamic is SO obviously only like it is because the plot needs it to be that way#there's no actual subtance and their characters haven't GROWN they just Magically Got Better#I DO really like Blitzo learning to really desire a family and working on actually using his ability to empathize#the lovey scenes with him and Stolas would have hit more if they were more clumsy or awkward#he's just... too perfect? which is just so surface level it feels like a cop-out at LEAST give him some paralles#like if he was copying the family they refused to kill? Cinema. if he was awkwardly copying Mox and Mills? Real Good.#suddenly pulling out this gorgeous Perfect Lover rizz? eh. next.#BUT let's talk about the LOOK that Blitzo gave Stolas when he said Octavia hates gim#the realization that Stolas not only gave up his life but the ONE THING that made him happy- and also the ONE THING Blitzo has wanted so#SO badly because he and Loona never really... got that sort of a father/daughter thing since he adopted her when she was almost an adult#the whole ''I love you. dad'' honestly felt out of character for Loona given how awfully she's been towards Blitzo this entire time#it felt so blatantly like an insert to make Stolas realize JUST how badly he fucked up#and he DID like he WON'T admit it but he's always treated Octavia and her happiness like a backburner#she's been simmering in her own feelings this whole time and he forgets about her again and again and again#if Vivian weren't just kind of awful at fleshing out characters and repeating the same storylines until things Magically Get Better#the fact that we as an audience know next to nothing about Octavia would be borderline genius level writing#showcasing just how effort little Stolas actually puts into his relationship with her that a narrative centered around him all but entirely#neglects his daughter and how she was right that she will get older and he will only know her name#because he just does not actually put in that effort (no matter how much he wants to or thinks he does)#but that opening wound isn't just about Stolas it really feels like it's about BLITZO#and I feel like this would be an INCREDIBLE aspect of his character to genuinely flesh out#as well as giving Octavia more actual interaction and interwoven character dynamics#like Blitzo has SEEN the damage that he is able to do with Verosika and Fizzarolli but he still doesn't /really/ understand his own damage#and I think this would be perfect to flesh him out more as well as perhaps FINALLY add some character nuance to the series to finely put:#yes Stolas is right for chasing his heart. but YES Octavia is right for being upset!!!
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thebirdandhersong · 2 years ago
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Excellent news turns out there was a miscommunication and Mr. Knight isn't still interested--learned instead that what actually is the case is that he DOES know and understand why the relationship ended. He is committed to avoiding me at all costs now so that he can move on, which is fair enough. I didn't think we could be friends after this. Bad news I have to think with nuance and admit to myself that I was not entirely blameless either and that I do need to be careful not to conclude in bouts of anger or sadness that I was an innocent victim who suffered and endured the slings and arrows of outrageous treatment like a saint and now to deal with residual negative feelings with more wisdom and care than previous fanning of flames
#it is much easier for me to hold onto outrage and grief and anger#because i think part of me is afraid that i put him off dating for good#or that i hurt him so badly that he'll carry that forever#i think it's easier to be hard and untouchable but i CANT and i cant let myself#at the end of the day he IS a brother in Christ and my friends' friend.#we were just not suited for each other#it isnt that he was a villain or an idiot#he's just not the right person and that's fibe#fine#after learning this today i realised that yes i AM angry still. and hurt. and i let that become bitterness at times#but i still have some tender feeling toward him which is kind of like an echo#he's discerning for the diaconate! and i think he could be a good one too#he has kindness fidelity and love for God and is very steadfast#and if God is calling him to be a deacon i think he will be a wonderful one#i can wish him well and keep moving on#and not be so repulsed by that tenderness i think#but take it as genuine appreciation for what he used to be to me#i am glad that he was the first boy i dated. despite the things that did not work at all#he was the first person who showed me that kind of boyishly clumsy but altogether sincere love#ex. his left sleeve was all wet on the first date because he held his umbrella so far over me#anyway it is hard to reconcile that happiness with the crushing sadness#that came afterwards and it is very hard to hold the joy of the first half of the relationship#with all the troubles of the later half and the hurt that followed#but it's easier now to look at all of this and not feel terrible lol#God's grace! and His hand throughout#my heart is a lot more at peace now :) i was so so angry in the weeks leading up#to valentine's day. it is good to remember that mr knight is first and foremost a brother in Christ#and that while we will never share the same kind of happiness we had during the relationship again with each other#we will share in the same joy of our Lord's victory#anyway many thoughts :)
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mrsbarnesblog · 8 months ago
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i am not the only one who saw that, right?
masterlist
summary: your friends find out that you secretly dating their enemy, but their opinion might completely change when they see Rafe from another point of view
words count: 2.2k
warnings: secret relationship, pogue!reader, attempted assault, mention of blood, soft and protective Rafe
a/n: inbox is open for requests💘
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“You cannot be dating Rafe fucking Cameron, Y/N!” John B exclaimed, burying his hands in his hair and walking all around the place. 
“No, seriously, this is not a good idea.” Sarah looked at you, giving out a nervous laugh. 
You were currently surrounded by your friends, who were all practically yelling at you after they accidentally saw a message from Rafe on your phone. You were one of the pogues; you never hanged out around the kooks, but somehow, when you were visiting Sarah a few months ago, you got into a random conversation with Rafe, and since that moment, the connection between you two has only gotten stronger. 
It was an instant click and as much as you both tried to deny the spark, it was there. As you started going out, secretly from everyone, of course, you decided to keep it private until the right time. 
“Alright, guys, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I knew that this would be your reaction. It just happened, okay?” You rubbed the bridge of your nose, already feeling a headache from the tense situation. All of your friends were standing on the opposite side of you and it felt like they were just attacking you. 
“What were you thinking? You know that he hates people like us, like you. We are pogues, Y/N. How the hell did that even happen?” Kiara was standing with her hands on her hips, as her piercing eyes were studying you. You felt awful looking at Pope, who was the one who always supported you, but he just shook his head and stepped away. 
“I don’t know. It just happened. We talked once when Sarah left, then I accidentally met him a few times in town, and then he texted me. He’s not bad when you know him closer.” You sighed. “Look, I know Rafe was a lot of trouble for us. He did bad things; I know that. But he’s not like that; he’s sweet and caring, and he has never shown any sign of being disrespectful towards me. I just can’t deny my feelings for him.”
“Honey, Rafe is not a good person. He doesn’t care about anything or anyone; he’s evil, selfish and manipulative.” Sarah stepped closer to you, touching your hand. “He’ll play with you, hurt your feelings and just throw you away.”
“And he probably just wants to get into your pants.” JJ grumbled, also taking a defensive position. 
“I haven't even slept with him yet, JJ!” You desperately snapped at him. It felt ridiculous, like all of them turned against you at the same time. Sure, Rafe wasn’t the sweetest person to them before, but they didn’t even give you a chance to say something in your defense. “And you’re wrong too, Sarah. All of Rafe’s actions were just to get people’s attention and appreciation. All it took for me to get on his soft side was to just listen to him and give him some affection. Other people didn’t care enough, including you and your father. He needs someone who he can trust and open up to because he’s hurt.” 
“No, Y/N. If you think that he loves you, then he just got into your head. My brother doesn’t love anyone. It will end badly; I just know that.” 
Tears gathered in your eyes, and a lump in your throat made it difficult to say anything back, so you just stupidly stayed there. You had no strength to fight with all five of them at the same time. You turned around, silently getting back in the car, even though your head was filled with doubt and dark thoughts because of their words. 
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For the next few days, it was tough for all of you. You and the rest of the group were still close, and even though they were completely against your relationship, you still met and hung out. The pit in your heart was still there, no matter how hard you tried to act nonchalant and not let their words get into your head. 
Rafe noticed the change in your behavior—that you were upset with something—but he didn’t put any pressure on you and allowed you to decide for yourself when you wanted to open up. 
Pogues decided to go to some party on the cut near the beach and as much as you tried to refuse, Sarah and Kiara managed to drag you there. You all rarely went to such places, preferring to hang out in your little circle, but apparently everyone wanted to clear their heads and saw it as the best opportunity. 
It was pretty fun with a bunch of people you did not know, some music, and drinks, and you mostly hung out with your friends. Though quickly it got overwhelming and made you want to go home or at least go outside of the house to get some fresh air. As you left your friends and wanted out from the backyard to a part of the beach, you didn’t notice the guy who had been eyeing you the whole evening. 
He came out of nowhere from your back, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You yelled at the sudden and unwanted touch, and your heart seemed to drop into your stomach when you realised that it wasn’t just a joke from JJ, who liked to scare you. You started wiggling in his hands to get free, but he was fighting you back, dragging you up when you fell to your knees on the ground. 
It was such a mess trying to scratch and punch him that you almost did not notice his hand coming into contact with your face several times. You screamed again, this time loud enough, until you saw JJ running towards you. The guy behind you pushed you away as soon as he saw someone, and you fell to the ground with a loud huff. 
“That fucking bastard!” JJ was right near you, helping you to get up as tears streamed down your face. He tried to comfort you, checking your body for any injuries, but you pushed his hands away, wrapping your own around yourself in a defensive way.
“Oh my god, Y/N!” You heard Kiara, along with your other friends, calling your name. “What the hell happened?”
“H-he attacked me.” You sniffed, trying to catch your breath and, with shaking hands, reaching to the pocket of your jeans shorts to get out your phone. All of them looked at each other, questioning your actions, until you pressed someone’s contact button and put the phone to your ear. “Can y-you pick me up, p-please?” You sniffed again, now trembling from the adrenaline. 
“Baby? Are you crying? Where are you?” You heard your boyfriend’s concerned voice through the phone, feeling how JJ tensed beside you. 
“I’m on the cut. Near the beach. There’s a party and... Please, Rafe.” 
“I’m coming, angel. Just wait for me, ‘kay?” You heard the sound of the car engine at the other end of the line. Rafe didn’t ask any more questions, and as soon as you mumbled quiet 'mhm’ he ended the call. 
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You all heard him before you saw him. The sound of the tires drifting through the sandy street was loud, drawing attention to the expensive car that was unusual to see at this part of the island. 
Rafe didn’t bother to properly park, turn off the engine or even close the door when he saw you sitting on some old chaise lounge, with his sister and Kie trying to talk to you and your other friends arguing nearby. 
The girls stepped away from you as soon as they saw Rafe running towards you with a furious expression on his face and ready to deal with anyone who made you cry. It looked like he didn’t even care about the pogues, with whom he always had to get into arguments; he was fully focused on your shivering form.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He squatted down in front of you, and you started sobbing again. Your hands immediately found their place around his neck, and, before he could even properly look at your face, you pulled him closer to get some sense of comfort from his warmth and smell. Rafe hugged you back, soothingly rubbing your back. His eyes shot towards your friends, who were watching in awe at the interaction. “Which one of you did that?”
“It’s not us, you idiot. Some guy jumped her when she walked outside.” Sarah said, rolling her eyes at her brother. “JJ heard screaming, and when we walked outside, he ran away.” Rafe pulled away, finally taking in your appearance.
Your knees were covered in dried blood mixed with the sand. He gently took your hands to see the palms scratched from you trying to catch yourself before hitting the ground. Rafe’s eyes were burning with fury, showing his side that he rarely revealed in front of you. His hand reached to move your hair from your face, noticing a red, now already turning purplish, bruise covering the side of your cheek.
“Holy shit, sweetheart.” He softly brushed his fingertips along your cheek and you leaned into the touch, closing your eyes. Your bottom lip started quivering and you bit inside your cheek to calm yourself down. “Sh-h im here, okay? You’re safe. Did you see him? What did he look like? Just tell me and I’ll deal with it.” He almost begged, but you only shook your head. JJ suddenly stepped closer, slightly hesitating to actually normally communicate with his longtime enemy,  but he thought that it was the least that he could do for you.
As much as he hated The Kooks King, JJ knew that Rafe was the best option to find the guy who hurt you. 
“Tall, with dark and curly hair. Never seen him before, probably someone new on the island, but I’ll recognize him.” They looked at each other for a moment, and Rafe just simply nodded, turning his attention back to you. 
“I’ll find him, ‘kay? I promise I will.” He gently took both of your hands in his, bringing them to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. “We should go now. I need to take care of your knees and that bruise, baby. You don’t mind going to Tanneyhill, yeah?”
“Thank you, Rafe.” You whispered, slightly bending forward to ask for a kiss. Rafe smiled at you, his thumbs gently swiped the leftovers of the tears under your eyes, and then he kissed you on your forehead, nose, and gently pecked your lips. 
Your heart flattered at his soft touches and for a second, it felt like you two were in your own little bubble. Rafe's eyes shimmered slightly in the moonlight, and the way he looked at you, soft and caring, made you want to kiss him again and again. You suddenly snapped out of the trance, looking back at your friends, who all had different levels of shock and uncertainty written on their faces. 
“C’mon, pretty girl.” Rafe stood up, lifting you in bridal style without an effort, carefully not to hurt your bleeding knees. He almost walked away, but then sighed, turning back to look at his sister. “You coming home with us or somethin’?”
“Um, no, I’ll be with John B. It seems like I would be third wheeling with you anyway.” She shrugged, not being able to keep a smile when you two met with your eyes. 
Rafe then looked at JJ, thinking his words over. “I appreciate it, Maybank.” 
They exchanged a tight nod, both slightly shocked that for the first time ever, they communicated without biting each other's heads off. You leaned closer to Rafe, comfortably nestling in his protective hands, and looked at your friends, who were still too shocked to say anything. 
“I’ll see you guys later, okay? 
Everyone agreed, saying goodbye to you and asking you to text them when you get there safely. They saw how Rafe made sure to slowly put you into the passenger seat, then circled the car and drove away. An awkward silence fell around them, everyone at a loss for words. 
“Okay, so I am not the only one who saw that, right?” Pope spoke first, looking around the place as if he were trying to find something. “Rafe freaking Cameron just was acting cute and didn’t threaten to do something to us?” His own body physically shrugged at the word ‘cute’.
“I don’t know, dude. We all just probably drank something and it’s messing with our heads.” 
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vividxpages · 4 months ago
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。° ✮୨ৎ "lay it all on me"୨ৎ✮° 。
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pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!Reader
words: 2100
summary: With the Queen and your betrothed Jacaerys’ delayed arrival, you are left in charge of the day’s council meeting. When one of the lords starts to speak of a possible bedding ceremony for your upcoming wedding, your thoughts begin to spiral badly…
warnings: the lords in Rhaenyra’s council being perverts and dicks, talks of misogynistic traditions and predatory behavior of men, sexism and misogyny, panic attacks, Jacaerys being a protective betrothed, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, crying, hopeful ending
a/n: I cooked this up so quickly, but I was very inspired yesterday - thank you so much to the anon who sparked a conversation about bedding ceremonies in my asks and with it, my inspiration for this idea! <3 this is for you :*
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
When the messenger arrived at the council room and announced the delayed arrival of the Queen and her son, you had been optimistic for a moment.
Jacaerys and you, a team ever since your shared childhood and since recently betrothed with the blessings of his mother and family, had led council meetings like this together before and you were no stranger to the strategies and logistics of the war and Rhaenyra’s efforts in it. You just had not done it by yourself before.
You nodded in thanks to the messenger and turned back to the assembly of Rhaenyra’s lords around the table with a polite smile. It was only a matter of time until her and Jace would make their return from the dragon’s caves and until then, you’d do your best to begin today’s conversation.
“Well then, my lords.” You nodded to yourself and took a deep breath, looking into the round with openness. “I believe we’ll continue where we’ve left off yesterday? Is there any news yet of Daemon’s stay at Harrenhal? We could-“
“There is another matter of importance we thought we could discuss with you, my princess.” One of the lords interrupted you, a cool smile on his face as you leaned back in your seat. You cocked an eyebrow at him to continue despite your sentence being left unfinished. “Since the wedding with the prince Jacaerys will occur in the upcoming months, it would be wise to discuss the bedding ceremony sooner rather than later.”
Something in you went very, very still.
You blinked at him before you looked into the other men’s faces. They seemed to be in agreement of this rapid topic change. “The…bedding ceremony?”
“Yes, it is of grand importance to ensure the consummation of marriage between two newly-weds.” He explained to you, a satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his old mouth. “It’s an old tradition and the lords and I believe it is best to follow it with the young and lovely union of the prince and you.”
You swallowed against the dryness in your throat, your hands suddenly clammy with unsureness. “I have not talked to Jace about such a thing. The Queen hasn’t spoken to me about it either. That’s…-What if me and Jacaerys are against it?”
A few of them chuckled as if you had made a good jest.
“My princess, is it not really a matter of choice, if you understand.” One of them explained to you before he suddenly turned away from you and addressed the others: “The wedding will be held here at Dragonstone as we know and I thought of a crowd of perhaps a dozen, mostly members of the family and this council, of course. After the celebrations, the prince will lead his bride away in the company of the Queen’s loyal and trusted advisors and then, the marriage will be consummated in a room large enough for the ceremony.”
You opened your mouth to object, but found your voice had simply vanished.
“Will there be sheets as proof in the morning?”
“I would actively support it.”
“There are clothes here at Dragonstone suited for such a ceremony, I am sure we will have them before the wedding takes place.”
“A purity test accomplished by a maester might be sufficient beforehand as well-“
You felt yourself drifting away from the conversation, one that circled around you and yet did not include you at all. Staring at the table in front of you, you felt your breath quicken as a distant howl swept through your mind, drowning out their voices as they went on and on.
In your mind, you saw yourself being led into a fully lit room. The dress you wore was thin and barely hiding your body, your arms protectively crossed in front of yourself as you shivered. The bed chamber was crowded all the way back to the tapestry of the walls with men regarding you coolly. Their hunger for the curves barely hidden underneath your dress was evident in their eyes, yet you had to walk on until you reached the middle of the room. Jacaerys was waiting, his own expression blank and without any emotion for you as he took your hand and led you to bed. There were a thousand eyes on you and you felt numb, your body screaming in protest, your mind begging you to shout at them to leave as Jace mechanically began to kiss your neck-
The wide doors of the hall opened and the men seated around you abruptly stood, their wrinkly hands brushing over their attires. The Queen was here.
You remained in your seat, your mind having drawn itself back to a hidden part in yourself, blankly staring at the fidgeting hands in your lap. When you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder, the touch so familiar it could’ve been your own, you closed your eyes for just a moment. Jacaerys had come with her.
“What is going on?” Rhaenyra demanded to know, walking around the big table as she took in your uncharacteristic quiet state.
When your betrothed raised your hand to his lips in greeting, you looked up and bit your lip at Jace’s worried expression. The taste of iron coated your lips and only now you realized you had bitten your lip so badly, it had started to bleed. The pain was almost a relief.
“Are you alright?” Jace murmured, his hand delicately cupping your cheek and making you shudder. Your eyes were glassy, your cheeks red from shame and suddenly, a strong urge to cry shot through you, so intense you barely could fight it. “What is it, my love?”
You shook your head, avoiding his searching gaze.
The shame burned hotly through you and you wanted to shrink into your seat until you could escape these old devils. One of them, who had started this whole discussion about the ceremony in the first place, cleared his throat. “Your Grace, we were discussing possible arrangements for the wedding of the prince and his betrothed. There have been no mentions of the traditional bedding ceremony yet and the lords and myself were worried that-“
Rhaenyra frowned with a disgusted curl of her lips. “A bedding ceremony? There hasn’t been a tradition like this in my generation. Why would we burden the next with such an old piece of the past?”
You could sense Jace tensing beside you, his face dark as he stared at the lord. Would he look at you like this too, when the happiest day of your life would end with having to sleep with each other in front of dozens? Your chest hurt as you struggled to breathe normally.
“The princess has expressed similar concerns, but there are ways…There could be a thin veil draped over the sides of the bed.” Another suggested generously and you felt your stomach turn itself over. “Of course, it cannot shield the pair fully from the observer’s eyes. They have to be in sight, so it can be assured that she’s-“
“There will be no bedding ceremony.” Jace cut him off, close to snarling as he flexed his hand on the hilt of his sword. He remained by your side, his stance protective of you and intimidating. “Neither my mother or myself have been consulted about this before and the fact that you’ve preyed on an opportunity to bring it up in front of the princess is close to treason. And yet you’ve dared to speak of such inappropriate matters in front of my betrothed, your future Queen? I could have you hanged by the cliffs of Dragonstone for such perverted behavior.”
“My prince, with all respect, it simply is tradition. It has to be guaranteed that on the night of her wedding, the bride is a maiden-“
The sound of your chair screeching over the floor broke through the room as you stood up. The sound of your own breath was too loud in your eyes, the lump in your throat only growing by the second. “If you would excuse me, Your Grace, I’m not feeling well.”
Jacaerys stood with you, but as he reached for your hand, you had already slipped away and quickly made your escape towards the wide doors, trying to breathe against the numbing panic in your lungs.
You blindly walked down the long corridor, ignoring the questioning looks of the guards standing on the sides. Would they be there as well, to witness yours and Jace’s union, eyes on your naked body when Jace had to deflower you in front of an audience?
You choked on a sob, the tears running freely down your cheeks now, the pain in your chest only expanding from keeping it inside for so long. You had never experienced a panic like this before, a powerful tide washing all rational thoughts away and sending your brain into overdrive.
Behind you, quick footsteps were approaching and before you knew it, Jacaerys had overtaken you and blocked your path, taking your upset state in with wide eyes. Your bottom lip wobbled dangerously and you came to a halt, noting how far and fast you had walked away from the council room.
“My love…” Jacaerys mumbled quietly and stepped closer and somewhere inside of you, a dam burst and he caught you as you fell into his arms, your body wrecked with heartbreaking and breathless sobs. He wrapped his arms around you, drawing you against his chest and letting you cry, his own heart aching at the stress vibrating through your body.
“I don’t want them to see…” You sniffled miserably against his shoulder, his arms tightening protectively around your waist, one of his hands resting on the back of your head and stroking your hair. “I want our wedding night to be ours, I don’t want them in the room with us, I don’t want any of it.”
“I’m not going to allow it.” He assured you calmly, suppressing his own anger for the sake of your peace of mind. Later, he’d had time to rage and forge the feeling into action, but now the only thing that mattered was you. “They have no right to make these rules for us. You and I decide, together, okay?”
You nodded, your anxiety slowly beginning to ebb away and leaving the council room and its members behind you.
“I am so sorry I was not there with you.” Jacaerys regretfully whispered against your temple, soothingly stroking your back as you rested your tear-streaked face against his neck. “I am not going to let this slide. And I am serious, my love, I promise you; there will be no bedding ceremony, I’m not going to let them expose you like this.”
You lifted your head to look at him, your eyes still shimmering with worried tears. “And what if we have to? I can’t do this, Jace, I would rather die-“
He gently shushed you and gently rested his forehead against yours, willing you to take big and deep breaths with him until you were breathing in sync and your shivering stopped. “We don’t have to do anything. You and I, we’ll be king and queen someday and I will not accept any disrespect towards you, not today or when we’re married, alright?”
You nodded slowly, exhaling deeply as you allowed yourself to sink against him, letting yourself be held and gently swayed from side to side. Slowly but surely, your heart stopped hurting and the clouds in your mind dissolved until you only felt him.
“Alright.” You whispered back after a while and his lips on yours, featherlight and oh so gently, were a relief after such moments of stress. When you separated and looked into each other’s eyes, you added quietly: “I want this, with you. All of it. I want our first time together to be special and a memory we’ll cherish forever.”
“And it will be, I promise.” He soothed you. “These old pathetic men will do good to remember their place before I’ll unleash Vermax on them.” He added jokingly and even managed to make you giggle a little bit at the mental image. “You know how Vermax adores you, he’ll eat them in one piece and spit them out, because they’re disgusting.”
You snorted tiredly and nuzzled his neck in affection, not ready to separate yourself from him just yet.
“My mother will deal with them.” Jace promised you darkly, a revengeful shimmer in his fierce eyes as he wiped the last of your tears away with his thumb. “And when she’s done with them, I will make sure as well they’ll remember who they answer to, my queen.”
He would deal with this.
And after he had put those foul men in their place, he’d make sure you’d be the happiest you could be and your wedding would be perfect and just the way the two of you had imagined for so long…
my taglist: @princesschimchim1325 @cecestea @jacesvelaryons @princessvelaryon @diannnnsss
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reidmotif · 11 months ago
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For the Love of Lace
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Summary: Reader decides she doesn't want to pine for her best friend, Spencer, anymore, but still needs his help deciding what lingerie to wear for her upcoming date.
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Smut
Content Warning: breast and nipple play, fingering (r!receiving), lingerie talk, unprotected penetrative sex, no implied breast size, couch sex, best friends to lovers, possessive Spencer
Word Count: 3.7k
Masterlist
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Pining for your best friend definitely has its lows. There’s a certain sense of pathetic-ness that comes about when your friend is simply speaking, and your mind is occupied with the yearning to bridge the gap of distance between you two, and kiss them senseless. I think perhaps the biggest low that I’d hit, however, in the two years I’d been pining for Spencer Reid was the sexual frustration that came with being unable to see myself with anyone else. 
I’d never meant for it to play out like this. I thought it was an innocent crush, a byproduct of all the time we’d managed to spend with each other divulging into our personal lives and sharing the ordinary comings of the day together. However, there came a point where I looked at him and could see my future laid out so perfectly with him. A future of love, and laughter, and God, so much sex.  And no matter what I’d tried, the thought was too good to let go. 
It didn’t help that not only was he oblivious, he clearly didn’t return my affections. There were no signs of longing that I could deduce from his actions, and I’d decided to be reasonable about this. His actions were always remnant of a good friend, but a lover? No. There were no longing stares. No stolen brushes of fingers, or hushed whispers. It seemed that anything romantic about our relationship only emanated from my fantasies of what I wish we could be. 
And so here I was, unable to get past the mental block of wanting anyone as much, and it’d resulting in a long, exasperating two-year stint of celibacy. And Jesus, did it show. The tiniest thing Spencer did would set me off in a frenzy, and it left me feeling nearly perverted at a certain point. There’d been a day that he ran his finger down a page, attempting to locate a passage to display to me and all I could think about was how badly I wanted that finger in me. My mouth. Me. Anything. And then I realized I was lusting over my best friend’s hand, and considered the possibility of this being a serious problem on my end. 
My only block to getting laid was my own self.  And I certainly didn’t relish in the debauchery I’d clearly stooped low enough to indulge in, and so it was decided. This Valentine’s Day? I wasn’t going to watch rom-coms and wonder if Spencer and I could ever have a happy ending like them.
 I was going to man up, and go on a date. Easier said than done. 
I’d found the date, that bit was easy enough. Trying to find someone to hook-up with on Valentine’s Day is like trying to find sand on a beach. Plentiful and simple. 
What wasn’t easy? Feeling ready for it. I hadn’t been like that with anyone for nearly two years, and found myself worrying that my sexual skills had deteriorated with lack of practice, even though the thought was rooted in some ridiculous notions about myself. I knew that logically the sex would be fine, and hopefully, exactly what I needed to get over Spencer, but still. I wanted to ensure the best possible experience. 
I found myself going through the motions of date preparation. A manicure and pedicure. A facial. I even bought a fancier perfume to wear the night of. And of course, a trip to procure some new lingerie for the night. 
I’d always been indecisive, and with the choices presented in the shop, I found myself overwhelmed. I’d decided and picked up 3 possible pieces, and instead of determining between them whilst buying, I bought all of them, with the intention that I’d be able to make a choice in the comfort of my own home. 
Except now, it’d been a week, my date was tomorrow, and I still couldn’t figure out what would work for me. All three were equally as appealing, but which one was the best? The question haunted me, and continued to  haunt me as Spencer and I hung out. Despite my date tomorrow, I’d promised to keep up our tradition of binging episodes of Star Trek on Friday night together, except my head was clearly elsewhere, which he quickly noticed. 
Damn profiler best friend. 
“Alright, what’s up with you?” Spencer asks, reaching for the remote and pausing on some random frame of Spock’s face, the show taking less precedence than my lack of attention. 
I sigh apologetically, quirking my mouth to the side. “I’m sorry, Spence.” I say, taking a deep breath. “Just a lot on my mind.” 
Spencer tilts his head, his expression a little more worried. “Something important?” 
I shake my head quickly, not wanting to disclose the reasoning for my distraction tonight. Especially to him, considering my date tonight had the sole purpose of me getting over the man currently sat to my right. 
“No, no.” I say, softly. “Just.. stuff.” I voiced, quickly.
“Stuff?” Spencer inquires. 
“Stuff.” I affirm. 
Now it’s his turn to sigh, making a slight groaning noise whilst he did so. “Come on. I’ve known you for years. I know there’s something on your mind, and it’s clearly distracting you, so.. Please? Tell me?” He asks, giving me those eyes. A look that would make anyone weak in the knees. 
I find myself hesitating, and bite my lip, and in the end, it’s the way he’s looking at me that does me in. I opt to stay vague, but give him a bit more insight into my wandering thoughts. 
“My date tomorrow? I don’t know what to wear.” I say, shrugging. “It’s not very important, but I want to make it work, you know?” I continue. 
“Why don’t you just show me your dress then?” Spencer inquires. “I’m not a fashion expert, but it’s not like I’m unable to have taste.” 
I laugh a little self consciously, shaking my head quickly. “Oh no, no. It’s not a dress. It’s okay, Spencer. I couldn’t ask you to do that for me.” 
“Shoes? C’mon! I’m your best friend. I’d do anything for you.” He protests, coming closer to me now. 
“Not shoes.” I say, still shaking my head. “And no! I mean, seriously. There are some things you can’t do for me, and it’s fine. I’m fine.” 
“Jewelry? Hair? Makeup?” He implores continuously. “I’m all ears.” 
I realize there’s no way in hell he’s ever going to let this go, so I blurt out with little thought, “It’s lingerie!” 
He goes a bit quiet in thought, and then raises an eyebrow. “And that poses a problem?” He asks, softly. 
I blink a little. Yes. Of course that’s  a problem. I love you so much that it makes me feel weak, and I can’t be even more vulnerable in front of you. Not like that. 
But instead I shrug, running my hands through my hair. 
“I just.. Wouldn’t that be weird?” I say, hesitantly. 
“Not really.” Spencer replies, nonchalantly. “You’re my best friend. And I want to help you in any way I can. Nakedness doesn’t really bother me, and if it doesn’t bother you, I’d love to help you decide.” 
“Spencer..” I mumbled, still incredibly hesitant. 
“I’m your best friend!” Spencer articulates. “And logically, I can provide you with insight that only another guy could give.” He points out. “In a purely platonic, and logical sense.” 
I had to give him credit for that. It’s true. Spencer did have insight that none of my friends could provide, and I’d always entrusted him in helping me make decisions for myself and my life. And honestly, it was starting to get suspicious with how much I’d been objecting to this. The man had helped me decide bikinis, clubbing dresses- this couldn’t be any more different, could it? 
“Okay. Okay. Fine.” I give him a resigned nod, getting off the couch. “Alright. Wait here.”
He plants himself more firmly on the couch, his eyes trained on where I’d disappeared into my room, rummaging through the shopping bag until I’d found the first lingerie piece. 
It was a simple black lace bra and matching panties. The bottoms were a bit cheekier than a normal pair of underwear, and my legs were on display in full. My hair framed my pushed-up breasts, and I looked at myself in the mirror, slightly self-conscious at the fact that I was about to present myself this way to Spencer. 
How did I get into this mess? 
I slowly twist the doorknob, calling out to him. “Spencer! I’m coming out with the first one.” 
“I’m here.” is his reply, and I know he’s waiting, and so I slowly push open the door and come out in the light, a little more in his view. I give a half-hearted 360 degree turn, and look at him. 
“So?” I ask, my eyes finally meeting his, but the sight I’m met with is a lot different than the one I’m expecting. He’s slightly red in the face, his hands fidgeting in his lap- quite different from the more composed version I’d seen of him. 
“Is there something wrong?” I ask, quickly, feeling even more vulnerable as I stood there, half naked in front of a blushing man. 
“No, no!” He sputters. “I’m sorry. This is normal.” He gulps a bit and gives me a quick once over. “Sorry, I’ll be normal.” He clears his throat again and nods more definitively. “This one is nice. It’s simple.” He replies, as diplomatically as I’ve heard him. “Black works well with your skin and hair, and I feel like it brings out your eyes.” 
I nod, biting my lip. “Anything I could do to make it.. more than nice?” I queried. 
He narrows his eyes in thought.  “It’s already really, really nice, but I feel like stockings, or even a garter would even the attention from your breasts, more to your legs- which already look really nice, by the way.” 
It's my turn to blush and I nod quickly. “Stockings, got it.” I say. I blow out a breath of air. “One down, two to go.” I say, absentmindedly. 
“Better go back and try the other two, then.” Spencer says, with a smile. 
I attempt to return his smile and disappear back into my room, putting on the next piece. It was red, and a bit more showy than my previous piece. It was a criss-cross, cut-out lingerie. Lines of maroon fabric danced around my skin in a way that exposed the curve of my breasts, and connected to a simple, red thong. I walked out quicker than last time, a little less nervous now that the initial nervousness of appearing naked in front of him had faded. 
Despite my nervousness fading, it seemed like his had only increased. I’d only caught a glimpse of it in my hurried departure from my room to his line of sight, but had he.. been adjusting his crotch area?
 No. No. I mean, maybe he was turned on, but that was a completely normal reaction to a half-naked girl in front of a man. To my knowledge, Spencer hadn’t dated anyone in 2 years either, so it was completely possible he also had pent-up desires. This was normal. Spencer Reid did not feel the same way for me, not in the same way as I did for him. 
He quickly looks up and his hands are by his side in record speed. “This one is.. Wow.” He marvels, his eyes boring into my body. “Your breasts. They look great.” 
I can’t help the giggle that escapes me, a part of me secretly delighted that even if this was friendly, Spencer was enamored with my body in the way I’d always wished he would be. 
“Was that too much?” Spencer questions, upon hearing my laugh. “I’m only being honest. Your breasts look nice in this one. My eyes immediately went there with this piece.” 
I smile. “No, no. That’s what I need from you, anyway. That’s what I want my date to do too, anyway.” I say, dismissing his worries. 
“Right. Your date.” He says, curtly. 
I raise an eyebrow at the snippy reply, but don’t think much of it. “So.. the last one then?” 
“Yep. The last one.” 
“Right..” I mumble, going back to my room, slightly confused by the sudden change in demeanor, but ready to get this over with nonetheless. 
The last piece was a lot more revealing, in the sense that my nipples were exposed from the get-go with this one. A lavender slip, with transparent lace covering the breasts, and the silky fabric stopping right below my crotch. It was a bit more daring, but I still enjoyed the way it framed my curves, my hips, and my breasts. I wondered what Spencer would think, and out of modesty, I placed both my hands over my nipples, wanting to show the lingerie without fully exposing myself to him. 
I walk out, and this time, his gaze is intense. More so than I’d ever seen him in our years of friendship. 
“Spence..?” I ask, when he’s silent for a beat too long.
“Turn around.” He says, firmly, and I find myself listening instantly, baring my back to him, and no doubt he’s focusing on the way the fabric wrapped around my ass, leaving me slightly flustered and more on display than I’d ever felt tonight. 
“Spencer? Come on. Say something. Feeling a bit like cattle right now.” I voice, laughing a little nervously.
When I hear his voice again, I nearly jump out of my skin because he’s right behind me, his hands ghosting across my bare shoulders. 
“Don’t go.” He whispers, his hot breath fanning around my neck, sending shivers up my spine. 
I’m too nervous to turn around, so I keep my hands planted firmly on my breasts and murmur out my confusion. 
“What?” 
“Don’t go.” He repeats, more firmly this time, and I can feel his hand moving to grip my hip, orienting me to face him. “Please.” 
“Why not?” I ask, softly, my eyes wide as I try to read his expression. His pupils were dilated to the size of saucers, and I could feel his hands moving to cup my face, bringing us even closer. 
“I’d be an idiot to have not at least tried.” He whispers. “I’m sorry for doing this now. I’m sorry if this ruins everything. But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try.” 
I feel my confusion bubbling up, my eyebrows furrowing a little bit. “Why.. what is this? Is this because of the lingerie?” I ask, my lips parting slightly. 
“No. God no.” I can see him emphatically shaking his head at my rumination. “This has been coming for a long time.” He murmurs. “I thought I could ignore it, but I can’t. I can’t physically stand the thought of someone worshiping you the way I’d like to.” He rasps out, and I feel my heart jump, my breath coming out faster. 
When I’m silent, unable to respond,  his fingers run across my lips. “Can I kiss you?” He whispers. 
I nod, and it’s like he’s been waiting all night, and then some. His grip on my face tightens and he brings me in for a searing, earth-shattering kiss. His lips move over mine desperately, and I feel his grip shifting to bring my hands off my breasts, and to replace them with his own, his hands now pawing and squeezing at the flesh, which draws a soft moan from me. 
He throws his head back at the noise, leaning to kiss my neck. “Fuck yes.” He mumbles, seemingly goaded on by the noises slipping through my lips. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” He groans out, to no one in particular, just wanting to get the words out there somehow. 
I nod rapidly, and his hands are on my hips again, guiding me to the couch and laying me down. I move easily in his grasp,  a slight gasp escaping me as he climbs on top. His thumb goes to graze my jaw, leaning in for another kiss. It’s less rushed this time, slow and passionate. His tongue darts out to swipe over my bottom lip, and I open my mouth easily for him, reveling in the sweetness of how he tasted. 
He breaks off the kiss and moves down, kissing my breast between the lace. His tongue goes out to wet the fabric, and I’m arching my back at the sensation of the rough lace and the warm wetness now rubbing against the sensitive skin.
“You taste so good.” He mumbles. “God. Why did I wait so long?” 
“No clue.” I whimper out, desperately. “But don’t stop.” 
“I’m not stopping.” He says, gruffly, moving to bunch up the fabric of the slip until it pooled around my waist, exposing my dripping cunt to him. 
“I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you like this.” He whispers, his finger running up and down my wet folds, causing me to moan out needily. 
“Shh, shh, baby.” He murmurs. “You’ll get what you want soon enough.” 
Without warning, he easily slides two fingers inside me, and I can’t help but wonder if he was made for me. Given the way he effortlessly reached that spongy spot so deep inside me, I was compelled to say yes. The action prompted me to release a string of desperate moans and whimpers, increasing in octave with every second he pumped the digits in and out of me. 
“Yeah, you like that?” He mumbles, almost entranced with the way my cunt was sucking him in, tightening around his finger with each second he continued. 
“Yes. Yes, oh God.” I moan out, my eyes squeezing shut. 
“Open your eyes.” he demands, his thumb now darting out to rub harsh, tight circles on my clit. “I want to see your face when you come on my fingers.” 
My eyes snap open, and I can’t help it when I release another moan and feel my orgasm absolutely shred through me. My hips raise in an attempt to move off Spencer’s fingers, but he manages to follow my movement, nursing me through my orgasm, and watching every second of it. 
When it's over, he removes his finger and brings it up to his lips, sensually tasting my release right in front of me, never breaking eye contact- and the sight itself makes me need him all over again. 
I pull him in by the collar of his shirt, and my hands move to remove his buttons, wanting to feel his skin on mine. He laughs a bit and admonishes me, removing my shaky fingers. 
“Let me.” He mumbles, leaning back between my spread legs, and removing the clothing, before moving to his belt. 
I bite my lip as he hovers over me, and kiss him again. I can’t get enough of him. He’s all I wanted for so long, and here he is- mirroring my desire in the way I’d always hoped he would. 
“No man-” He breathes out, in between kisses, “could do this for you.” 
I nod in affirmation, continuing to kiss him. No argument there. 
“No man deserves to.” He adds, possessively, and it’s enough to make me clench around nothing, and I know at that point I’m more desperate for him than I had been the whole night. 
“Spence, please.” I groan out. “Need you.” 
He understands immediately and wastes no time, pulling himself out from his boxers, giving himself a few tugs before pushing inside of me, groaning as he feels my warm, wet walls grasp onto his cock. 
He remains there for a second, allowing me to adjust to his size. When he looks at my face again, and I nod, he starts to move, pulling out until only his tip remains inside of me, before slamming in. My jaw drops in a silent scream, and my hands go to grip his shoulders, and with the confirmation I was enjoying myself, he set on a ruthless pace, snapping his hips over, and over again, until I was reduced to a babbling mess in front of the man. 
He’s all I can feel at this point. His hands on my breasts, my hips, before he eventually rests both hands on either side of me and envelops me in his being. I can smell him, and the familiar scent only serves to tighten the coil in my stomach, reminding me that this was someone I’d loved so deeply for so long. Someone who was interwoven into the fiber of my being, and I know this is all I want, and all I’ll ever want. 
As we both feel our releases coming on at an alarming pace, he leans up to kiss me one more time, moaning against my mouth. I feel myself whimper before I feel my walls contract around his cock, my orgasm causing my back to arch even closer to him. The clamping of my cunt seems to drive him to finish too, and a warmth fills my deepest point as he groans into my ear, pulling out and lying against me. The two of us are panting, sweat sticking to both of our bodies and hair, lost in the post-sex haze and enjoying the proximity. 
He kisses my jaw and I giggle out and give a soft moan. “God.” I whisper. 
“Yeah.” He murmurs against my skin, and I can feel his smile. “Are you canceling your date then?” He says, a slight bit of glee in his voice. 
I giggle a little, finding his delight adorable and endearing. “Yes, Spencer. Obviously.” I murmur. 
“Good.” He whispers, laying his head on my chest. There’s a lull of quiet as my hands stroke through his hair, smoothing it out from our illicit activities just a moment ago. I can hear his grin as he breaks the silence. 
“Guess you could say I liked this piece the best.” 
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hiii!! omg. this took a while. yes this is more of a valentines day fic and its a bit late but hey!! got it out in february. this was actually written for @imagining-in-the-margins new beginnings challenge, so go ahead and check that out when you can. i hope you guys like this one. as usual, please reblog, like, comment, and show your support any way you can. thank you for reading, and i hope it was enjoyable <333 ty ty ty!!
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corvus-frugilegus · 1 month ago
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The real tragedy of the Dellamortes is how inevitable Illario's betrayal was.
Caterina's refusal to really see either of her grandsons for who they are sets all three of them on this path. Lucanis's mother was Caterina's favourite, she was probably the person Caterina had in mind to succeed her. That loss, the loss of so much of Caterina's legacy had to have been devastating. She'd built so much and it was all torn away in a single conflict. All she has left in the wake of it is two young boys and this tenacity that will not allow her to give up on what she's built.
So she puts it all on Lucanis. The son of her favourite (bonus angst if he looks like his mother). She's unable to see this sweet boy who loves wyverns and just had his life ripped apart for who he is. She just see's her legacy. The daughter she lost. She puts it all into him, he's pushed into the role of favourite.
Lucanis responds to this by shoving down the parts of himself she doesn't want to see- his gentle heart, his love of wyverns, the little boy who needs to be loved. If he's good enough, strong enough, the perfect crow, the perfect granson- then and only then will she love him, will he be safe.
And then you have Illario! There isn't as much to go on in the text about his family or what he was like as a boy but there's a few things we can pretty confidently infer. Like Lucanis, Illario violently loses everything he has at a very young age. All he has left are the other two Dellamorte's.
But he isn't the child of Caterina's favourite. She isn't automatically putting all of her legacy on his shoulders the way she does Lucanis. He still gets the training, and what we do see in the wigmaker job and the wake and even in the codex entires in the game is that Illario does become a comptent and capable crow. He has a level of skill that I suspect is broadly expected of house Dellamorte, he was trained by the first talon herself. But the Illario we meet as an adult has this laissez-faire affect and presents himself as a seducer and a bit of a peakcock. He also very overtly refers to himself as Dellamorte-the-lesser and at the end of the wigmaker job when they're discussing the title of first talon you can feel the resentment below the surface.
For Illario it's not about the power and the prestige that comes from the title of first talon. It's not even about having the title itself. It's about FINALLY earning Caterina's love and respect. Things he undoubtly never felt as a boy.
How could he? When he's a child the only two people he has left in the world have this special bond that he never gets to be a part of. His only caretaker has a clear favourite and she shows it. He's lived his whole life in Lucanis's shadow, and a shadow that Lucanis never wanted to cast! Which if anything just adds insult to injury for Illario.
Lucanis has everything Illario wants and he doesn't even want it.
I imagine as a boy Illario tries SO HARD to win her love, her favour, he'll do anything to feel like he's loved and wanted and valued. And when after YEARS it doesn't work even though Lucanis clearly doesn't want the role he's been forced into? Illario gets resentful, he gets angry, he starts acting up. He becomes the suave peacock, the grandson who fucks up sometimes- probably not because he's bad at being a crow but because at least Caterina's ire is attention. It's a scrap of love.
Illario and Lucanis love each other. They're brothers. Illario resents Lucanis for being loved and favoured. Lucanis wants nothing more than to give it all to Illario. Illario doesn't want that he wants Caterina to love him on his own merit. At the same time (pre-inner demons) Lucanis will never actually give the title up because it means he's loved, he's valued, he matters.
The title of first talon has been synonymous with emotional safety and love for these two for their entire lives, and it's twisted them up so badly.
The real irony of it all is that this whole time Illario is so much more like the person Caterina wants Lucanis to be. Her heir, the Dellamorte best suited to be the next first talon has been right there infront of her all along, but she's so caught up in grief and legacy she misses it. She never really see's either of her grandsons for who they are.
I actually suspect that when it all comes to light, even though she's furious with him, Caterina finally starts to see what she's been overlooking in Illario all along. And Lucanis who's started to heal... well I think she's starting to see him too, and the truth of who he is is something she'll struggle to face.
When the day finally comes that Lucanis tells her he doesn't want the job, when him and Illario both accept that their lives have meaning outside of Caterina's opinion of them, is the day that the Dellamorte's can maybe start to really see each other.
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fujosh1dreamer · 7 months ago
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Alright Apology Tour... I don't even know where to start for this episode.
So I'll start with this statement:
I want them to make it work.
Surprise, surprise but I think that when stolas and blitz aren't forcing it, they are actually cute together.
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This is my favorite scene from the episode because stolas just falls into blitz's arms and blitz just holds him.
He cares, it's obvious that blitz cares but I think he's still unaware of how much. I also think that stolas know that blitz cares.
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In the conversation at the beginning of the episode there are two scenes that kinda prove this.
In the first scene blitz is talking about how relationships are boring and not worth it, and stolas leans on the table and basically asks him if he thinks that then what are they doing now.
Which is a valid question, because blitz is clearly fighting for them right now. He's doing a terrible job and saying all the wrong things but he is there. Stolas understandably gets annoyed and walks off when blitz side steps the question.
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The next scene where we see that stolas is aware at least a little of how blitz feels is when he's fake apologizing. He pretty much says 'oh I'm supposed to apologize for thinking so badly of myself I push people who actually care about me away? And stolas just says yes.
There are moments of clarity that tell me blitz is completely aware of his faults but other moments that make me think differently. When stolas says he sounds like striker he denied it. Only to continue to mock stoas for being a prince and completely disrespecting him.
I feel like if blitz had approached the conversation in the garden like he had the one at the party things would have gone better.
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Speaking of the party. The stolas song was amazing, and it was basically about how stolas still has feeling for blitz but he just doesn't think blitz cares. Which is a fair feeling since blitz left the garden basically telling stolas he'd apologize to everyone but him. Which was a petty thing to say.
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Stolas hating the party despite the song is also really funny, up until the end of the episode that is. Stolas complained to himself the entire time how ridiculous and petty it is to host a party like this every year, he even continues that thought process while drunk.
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Also while drunk stolas explained to blitz how he's looking for a romantic love. He wants to be loved and wanted by someone special a conversation that of course makes blitz feel bad but stolas can't see that.
This is the moment that cemented my belief of wanting them together. They're both so casual in this scene stolas because he's drunk and blitz because he's feeling vulnerable and guilty.
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They still have a natural chemistry and quick witty dialog that flows naturally. They fit well together even when fighting, but only when they're not forcing the relationship. Only when stolas doesn't have blitz on a pedestal, and when blitz isn't blaming stolas for all of his problems. As equals they work.
I wanna see them make up.
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actual-changeling · 1 year ago
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we do not talk enough about the moment right before crowley puts his sunglasses back on. the "nothing lasts forever" is devastating and if you're like me your eyes were so full of tears you couldn't see the screen the first time you watched it (just like crowley, look at us all twinning in sadness!).
there is a shift that happens in his eyes and i think it is absolutely fascinating and heartbreaking at the same time.
we begin with crowley averting his gaze from aziraphale's face and staring off into the distance instead, and you can see his spirit break. that crowley just lost the one thing in the world he cannot live without and we can see it written across his face like a neon sign.
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then, as you'd expect, he gives into the need to cover up his pain, to try and make himself less vulnerable, and even before he lifts his glasses he looks down so aziraphale can no longer see his eyes.
now, the next part is what would not let me out of its grasp all day. we know it happens because of his demeanour afterwards and up until the kiss, but you can actually watch as crowley makes himself numb to the world.
i am intimately familiar with dissociation as a trauma and stress response, and while you can never fully control it, you do eventually find the switch in your mind that makes you snap back into the haze. crowley has had six thousand years to get really, really good at leaving reality behind when he needs and/or wants to.
that's exactly what he does.
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he still looks sad, and yet there's just something distinctly distant in his eyes, the shift from openly heartbroken to "i don't want to feel any of this let me leave".
glasses? on
emotions? off
hotel? trivago
i have stared at those four frames more than any person probably should and i don't know if it's the light, if i am going insane, or if there is a single tear sliding out of his right (our left) eye. i'm probably insane and the light is a bitch so if anyone has some high resolution shots or anything that could answer that question without a doubt PLEASE do add it.
by now you are probably ready to threaten me with a knife in a dark alley but before you do that or drive your car off a cliff, let me tell you the best part:
aziraphale notices.
they might be communicating on two different frequencies but aziraphale knows crowley. he knows and loves him, and, most importantly, over the last few years he has gotten used to seeing crowley without his glasses. aziraphale could probably write a book on the expressions in his eyes alone and watches that shift happen and is devastated.
look.
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he tries to make himself hope the same second, tries to convince himself crowley is putting on his glasses so they can leave together, but he knows.
aziraphale sees the light leave crowley's eyes, sees crowley leave, knowing that he is quite literally running away from him. you and me against the world, angel, but in that moment crowley firmly pushes him back to "the world" (or tries to, anyway).
the entire season we see crowley take off his glasses whenever he enters the bookshop to the point where he's running around without them on in broad daylight with jimbriel right there.
can you imagine how hurt and confused aziraphale must be?
because what crowley is telling him, if we really, really break it down, is that aziraphale is no longer a safe person for him. and repairing that trust is going to take time and work, no matter how much crowley loves him, how badly they love and need each other.
anyway to seal this off and really rub in the pain - how it started vs. how it ended. <3
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oh one last thing: now crowley no longer has a single person he can be himself around, no one that knows him, no one he trusts. no one in whose presence he can take his glasses off.
and outside of the bentley and his own flat, he no longer has a place to do so either. the bookshop was theirs. with aziraphale gone, is it really a safe place anymore? is it somewhere he can just let himself be knowing he will be looked after and protected?
easy answer: no.
alright, off i go. see y'all on the next angst post or in the tags.
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unwantedtomost · 2 years ago
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so dirty — miguel o’hara
dbf!miguel o’hara x fem!reader
word count: 888
summary: miguel, who just so happens to be your dad’s best friend, fucks you in a bthroom
warnings: dirty talk, degradation, unprotected sex (i’m back to my old ways)
a/n: hehe two in like a day? look at me go. send me requests because i need more ideas.
“We shouldn’t do this,” came out of your voice in a tired tone. You tried to fight it but it got harder every time. How could you fight something that felt so right?
“I know, amor.”
Then he kissed you and you stopped fighting. 
Things got dirtier every time he touched you. The first time he kissed you he was so soft, so delicate. He touched you like he thought you could fall apart in his hands. Now he was bending you over the bathroom sink with the whole neighborhood in the backyard—not to mention your father, his best friend. He still loved you all the same, you never doubted it for a moment. Something about the switch felt right. This was a dirty little secret, not a Romeo and Juliet love affair. It was meant to be dirty.
He used to kiss every inch of your naked body, muttering how much he loved you every time his lips left your skin. It was a harsh comparison to how he shoved your panties to the side and rubbed his rough fingers up and down your slit.
“You’re soaking,” he stated with pride. “This all for me, honey?”
“‘Course it is, Miguel.” Sometimes you try to be soft in times like this. He’d give you a small smile then it would leave. His eyes were hungry, you almost felt like prey.
“‘Course it is,” he repeated before bending you forward.
He spit on his hand, pumping himself a few times. He rubbed the head of his dick against your clit, causing you to shutter. So dirty.
“Beg for it.” Your brows knitted together, giving him a confused look in the mirror. “You heard me. Beg for it.”
“Give it to me,” you demanded, standing your ground.
His large chest was flush against your back, his chin grabbing your chin and making you look into his eyes. His lips brushed against your ear and his other hand gripped your hip like a vice. “I said beg. Or we’re going back downstairs right now.”
It wasn’t the worst threat in the world but at some point these little hookups became something you needed. He knew that. He felt the same way too.
“Please, Miguel,” you whined. “I love you so much. Need to feel ya inside me so badly. I promise to be such a good girl. I promise. I’ll be such a good girl.”
The tiniest smile came to his lips as he saw the tears lightly brewing in your eyes. God, how he loved you. He planted a sweet kiss on your temple. “Such a good girl, only for me, yeah?”
“Only for you.”
Suddenly, the head of his member entered your entrance. You gasped, causing his hand to clasp over your mouth. “Got to be quiet, amor, yeah? We can’t have anyone find out what a dirty little whore you are for me.” He quickly pushed the rest of his length inside of you. You screamed into the palm of his hand, gripping down on the countertop.
“Fuck, princess. Best damn pussy I’ve ever had. Such a good fucking girl.”
His thrusts were brutal and you loved every second of it. Something about the strange circumstances made something dormant in Miguel come out. He said the dirtiest things. His mouth sputtering whatever came to mind as he pounded into you like both of your lives depended on it.
“Letting me fuck you while half the neighborhood is in the backyard. You wanted me that bad. You’d let me fuck you anywhere, wouldn’t you, honey? Want to be my little fuckdoll. Let me take you wherever I want. As long as we don’t get caught, right?”
You nodded vigorously as your eyes screwed shut, your head resting on Miguel’s shoulder. He let you stay like that for a while until his fingers started to rub your clit.
“Look at me,” he cooed. You had no choice but to pry your eyes open and look at the disheveled state of the man you were falling in love with. “Keep looking at me when I make you cum on my dick. Look so fucking beautiful.”
You had to use your last amount of strength to keep your eyes open, losing all control of the noises coming out of your mouth. Both of you were glad that his hand was clamped over your mouth. You tried to hold back your orgasm just a little bit, something you did often in these scenarios, you wanted to hold on just a little bit longer.
But it was always impossible. As soon as he figured out what you were doing, his fingers worked quicker.
“Please, cum for me baby,” he begged. And how could you refuse him? Quickly the coil snapped and you turned to absolute putty in his hands. “I love you, honey. I love you so much.” He whispered in your ear as he came inside of you. “Love you so fucking much.”
Slumped there, panting, you had that terrible wave of realization of the predicament you were in. Doomed to be in love with a man you could never really be with. Banished to a life of dirty secret hookups in bathrooms. But you didn’t need to worry about that now. Not when he was smiling at you.
“I love you too.” 
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lovecla · 3 months ago
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TEACH ME (HOW TO MAKE HIM COME) | jack hughes.
nhl masterlist, nsfw, @lovecla’s kinktober collection, chapter four:
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<last chapter> <next chapter>
➴ chapter warnings: oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, softdom jack, p in v, no protection (don’t do this kids!), praise kink and degradation if you squint, dirty talk, wet n messy!, subspace kinda, dacryphilia.
➴ word count: 3.4k
💌 from me to you: can we talk about how they completely forgot about the whole teaching thing and just straight up fucked each other? wild! also, will sarah and jackie wake up with trevor almost yanking jack’s door like morgan from criminal minds? maybe. have a nice reading loves!
𖧷
IF YOU had to describe what you were feeling, you’d have to say you are…
Well. Horny.
Being late to everything in your romantic life, you had never felt aroused towards a man before. Of course, you have had crushes on boys and you’d love if things went further than that, but besides Zack, you had never really intended on having sex with any of them.
Even with that guy back in high school, you only did it because you felt pressured to. You didn’t really like him, and you can only guess that he didn’t really like you either.
Until Jack.
You were sitting on the bench near the lake at your brother’s house, the bonfire near you is almost completely extinguished and you’re staring at the dark, lowkey scary lake in front of you.
It was late at night, everyone Trev had invited to his little lake party had already left, Jack included.
“Hey,” Jack’s honeyed voice reaches your ear, as you finish putting on your sweater. Everyone was inside already, and you could hear Trevor’s nonstop talk. “What’s up with the pouty lips, pretty?”
“I’m not pouting…”
He leans closer, chuckling. “Yes, you are, baby. What’s going on?”
“I just…” you sigh, hoping the darkness around you both hides the blush in your cheeks. “Can’t we move on to the next lesson?” Whispering, you look down to your feet.
Jack’s laugh makes you frown even more.
“It’s not funny, Jack.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he whispers. “It’s hard, baby. Trevor’s already complaining about you sneaking out at night and only coming back in the morning.”
“He would never connect the dots, Jack.”
“Baby—”
“Besides that, I’m twenty!” You raise your voice, only to lower it again. “I’m twenty, Jack. If I want you to f-fuck me, it’s my business.”
“You want me to fuck you?”
Jack had a playful, yet amused smile on his face, and you wanted to kiss him really badly.
“I mean, y-yes?”
He leans closer, briefly pecking your lips before stepping back. “Believe me, I want that too, baby. But we can’t right now, so be patient okay? I don’t want Z to give you too much trouble,” he sighs, putting his hands inside his front pocket. “Get inside soon, alright? Don’t want you to get cold. Text me if you need anything, pretty.”
You nod, watching as he smiles at you before leaving.
And you’re still outside, an hour later, with your mind working nonstop. The thought of laying underneath Jack, with his dick inside of you, in and out, while you’re nothing but a whimpering mess under him made you so fucking horny it isn’t one bit funny.
Before, when your friends or even Kiara would talk about wanting to fuck someone, you thought they were just exaggerating to make you want to do the same, and after your first time going awfully terrible, you started to believe that, but now, as you get up and head inside to pack your things, you realise they weren’t kidding.
“Where are you going?” Trevor asks, sounding tipsy as fuck. “Saraah.”
“I’m— I’m going to a guy’s house,” you blurt out, zipping up your bag. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
“What?” He gets up, suddenly looking a whole lot sober, walking in your direction. “What do you mean? No!”
“What do you mean ‘no’?” You scoff, suddenly brave. “I’m twenty and last time I checked, I’m free to do whatever I want. And if what I want is to go to a guy’s house,” And fuck him until I can no longer speak. “Then I’ll do it. Good night.”
“What— Sarah!”
Trevor keeps shouting your name, but at this point, you’ve had enough of his protective bullshit. He’s been fucking girls since he was seventeen years old, so what’s the big deal anyway?
You call for an Uber and put on Jack’s address.
It was now or never.
𖧷
“I’M PLEASED yet scared to ask what you’re doing here, or how you even got here in the first place,” Jack laughs as he lets you inside his house. You look around, seeing the TV on with some random hockey game playing, and a bag of chips opened on the coffee table. “Does Z know?”
“No, but this time he’ll probably figure it out by himself.” You roll your eyes.
“Do I have to worry about him showing up at my door tomorrow?” He raised his eyebrows and crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Maybe,” you shrug. “I don’t care.”
Jack stays quiet for a while, walking towards you with a mischievous expression on his face.
“Are you this desperate, baby?” He whispers. “Are you so needy for something inside that greedy, little pussy of yours that you’ll run from your brother at midnight just to have my dick inside you?”
“Jack,” is all you manage to say, dropping your things on the floor and ending the distance between your bodies.
“Answer me, baby.”
“You already know the answer to that,” you close your eyes, holding the hem of your sweatshirt tightly. “Stop being mean.”
“I’m not being mean, baby. I just want to hear you say,” he grins. “Tell me, baby.”
“I’m— I am desperate. I want you so bad I think—” you breathe, opening your eyes to stare at his. “I think I’m going insane.”
“Are you?” He tilts his head. “How so, pretty?”
“I think about you all the time,” you start, pushing your embarrassment aside. “I wake up w-wet, after dreaming about you all night. Everyday before I get up I have to t-touch myself, pretending it’s your hand instead of mine down there.”
Jack leans closer and kisses your neck, inhaling your perfume right after, before squeezing your waist, hard. “Is that so, baby?”
“Mhm.”
“Then you’re not the only one going insane,” he mumbles against your lips. “Because I think about you all the fucking time too. I’ve always cared for you, and you know this, baby, but you grew up and suddenly you’re not Z’s little sister anymore, you’re a fucking woman. And I want you so fucking bad, Sarah.”
You can feel his dick hardening beneath his pants and you try to get closer, even if it’s physically impossible.
“You drive me fucking crazy when you wear those little things that you call skirts, or when you wear those bikinis so fucking tight your tits look edible,” he chuckles. “When you asked me to teach you how to fuck? Sarah, you gave me everything I’ve ever wanted on a silver platter. All I could think about was fucking you.”
“Then do it,” you whisper. “Fuck me, Jack.”
“Sarah—”
“Don’t think about anything else,” you continue, running your fingers through his chest. “Just fuck me, please.”
“Fine,” he smirks. “I’ll give you what you want.”
𖧷
JACK IS absolutely gorgeous and you’re just one single step away from losing your mind. You had imagined Jack fully naked before, and even seen his dick and all of that, but once again, the entire thing did nothing to the real thing;
Jack has a tanned, toned body, abs that you wanted to wrap your hands around and squeeze— his thighs were toned and probably illegal in, like, forty-six countries at least. His dick was flushed and red, rock hard too, and his lips were slightly parted as he stood naked in the middle of the room.
“You’re such a pretty thing, aren’t you?” He smiles at you, who’s also naked, dangerous and so, so lustful.
You smile and look at him with begging, doe eyes, before mumbling a small thank you— you remembered right before your first “lesson” started, Jack said that consent is sexy, and so is being talkative inside the bedroom. No humming, no nodding; just using your words and, if things got too much, saying “stop” would work just fine.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do tonight, sweetheart,” Jack started, shamelessly jerking off his dick in front of you. “You’re gonna come three times. Once on my tongue, once in my fingers and, finally, once on my cock. Are we clear?”
You whimpered, before whispering a faint “Yes.”
“Very well, baby,” his cocky accent crawled out of his mouth, accentuating the last word. “On the bed, hands and knees," Jack instructed, his voice dripping with dominance.
You scrambled onto the bed, positioning yourself on all fours, your heart pounding with anticipation. You felt vulnerable yet incredibly aroused, your pussy probably leaking against the sheets.
Even with the dim lighting, Jack could probably see how red— everywhere really; your ears, your cheeks, your nose, your knees— and how needy you are. Your pussy was practically dripping, drenched. Jack looked like he wished he could eat you out until you turned into sand in his hands.
And to him, you’re a fucking vision. Face sweaty and anxious, and he could probably tell how much you wanted to move or just do anything, but you were being good and letting Jack dictate what was best for you and oh.
Jack stepped closer to your pliant body on the gigantic bed and caressed it, his fingers tracing a path on your skin; while all you could do was just squirm in place.
“You’re just like a doll,” Jack said, softly but loud enough to make you fucking moan. “So pliant and needy. So easy to play with, even easier to break.”
“Jack.” You whispered, lips wet and shiny.
“You like that, don’t you? Knowing that I can do whatever I want with you, with your body— I’ll mark you up, and then everyone will know how good you are for me and what you let me do with you.”
You shivered under Jack’s touch. He decided to be kind and move his fingers a little bit further down, until he was touching your clenching hole. He heard you hold your breath and he chuckled, finding it cute.
He leaned down on the bed, placing his knees on the floor, and kissing your thighs gently— he slowly made his way to your dripping pussy, his tongue licking all the way from your folds to your hole, making you moan loudly. It had been brief, just a light touch, but your knees got weak just the same.
“Hold yourself tight, baby.” Jack ordered, before diving completely into your hole.
And he ate well. He ate you out like a starved man who hadn’t eat in days as he licked and fucked you with his tongue, leaving you trashing under him— you weren’t even in all fours anymore, your knees had given up a minute or two after Jack inserted his tongue inside you. He was sloppy and messy, his spit practically dripping out his mouth.
“Jack, mhhmm, J-Jack, please.” You whispered, and it’d only encourage him to sink further, deeper inside you.
His hands were holding you roughly, and you knew it would look fucking amazing to see his handprints on your ass later. Oh, you’d ascend.
“‘m gonna… Jack, please, can I—”
“Come for me, pretty,” He said, getting his tongue out of you for just a moment, before diving completely again. You were trashing and whimpering, your eyes were in the back of your head, your mouth was open and there was so much wetness in your lips and. “Come for me like the good girl you are, baby. Come on, make me proud.”
“‘M gonna make you proud, I’m—” You were just a step away from actually yelling, with how loud you were sounding. But then. “Jack, oh.”
Jack stepped away, looking at the mess he’d made: you were flushed, sweaty, your hands holding the sheets for dear life, your hair stuck to your forehead. Your lips were red and wet, saliva running down your chin and your eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed. Your pussy throbbed between the sheets and your thighs were covered with your cum.
“Baby,” Jack breathed. “You did so well, sweetheart. Look at you, coming like a good girl. Aren’t you my good girl?”
“Y-yes, Jack, yes.” You stated, a small smile on your face, eyes still closed.
“How are you, pretty?”
“Fine. So fucking fine.”
“Good.”
He didn’t give time for you to recover, not really, manhandling you further up the bed. You whimpered but complied, too tired to do anything else; besides, you would do whatever Jack asked you to— too cock drunk to think of anything else. You simply wanted Jack to be satisfied, proud.
Without another word, Jack got up and captured your lips in a slow, ardent kiss. Your mouths moved together gently at first, then more urgently as he deepened the kiss. You melted into the touch, your hands coming up to grip Jack’s shoulders. You moaned softly as you tasted yourself on Jack’s tongue.
He pulled away momentarily, a thread of saliva connecting your lips. "Keep making those sounds and I swear to God, Sarah, you’re not leaving this bedroom today," he breathed, before claiming your mouth once more, kissing you hard, his hand tightening on your waist.
You whimpered into the kiss, your body thrumming with desire. You wanted more, needed more. Breaking the kiss, Jack trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw and down your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin with his teeth. You tilted your head back, giving Jack better access, your hands moving up to thread through his silky hair.
Sucking and biting his way down your neck, Jack left a trail of wet, purpled marks, marking you as his. You squirmed under the sensation, a keening whine escaping your throat. "Jack... please," you begged, not sure exactly what you were asking for, but knowing you needed something.
Jack stepped away for a moment, touching your pussy with cold, firm fingers, spreading your slick all over it.
"Shh, I've got you," Jack murmured, continuing his onslaught on your skin.
Jack said nothing as he inserted one finger inside your hotness, a fuck leaving his lips because, fuck, you were tight. He rubbed your clit, side to side, until it mixed with the remains of his saliva, getting it all wet and messy. He inserts another one, making you clench around his index and middle finger.
“You need to relax for me, baby,” Jack whispered, voice gentle once again.
“I’m, I’m— ah,” You moan, voice raspy and soft.
“Come on, pretty.”
You try your hardest— and you hope Jack can tell— and relax, making it easier for both of you. Jack fucks his two fingers inside you, curling them and searching for the thing that’ll have you whimpering under him like a slut.
He finds it after a second or two, making your body move up and up, trying to get away from Jack’s touch and he understands— you had told him it’d been a while (years) since you had sex for the last time and you had just came pretty hard so it was pretty easy for you to get overwhelmed.
Jack wouldn’t have any of it though. “Take it, pretty. If you fucking move again you’re going to take care of yourself alone because I won’t tolerate any fucking brats,” he breathed, watching as you gripped the sheets harder and— tears coming out of your eyes.
“No, no, Jack, please—” you begged and moaned at the same time because, fuck. Jack had just inserted his third finger in you and fuckfuckfuck. “‘m good. I promise. I-I’m good, y-you said it, I’m good, I’ll come, just— Christ, I’m gonna.”
It’s too early for you to be orgasming again, you’re both are aware of it, but; you’re coming and shouting and trashing, your cum coming out of you like you’re fucking squirting. Jack takes his fingers out of you, wiping them in the dark sheets, just to take a good look at you.
“Baby,” Jack whispered, knowing that you were probably deep inside subspace and everything could be too much. “Can you give me one more? Mhm?”
“I-I can’t.”
“How are you feeling, doll?”
“Good,” you whispered, like you were telling Jack a secret.
“Then you can, and you will,” you could hear the smile in his voice, even though you couldn’t see; you had his eyes closed once again. He manhandled you again, arranging you on the bed so your head was laying against the fluffy pillows and your back was on the bed. “You’ll give me one more, baby, and then you can rest. How does that sound, hmm?”
You nodded and just when Jack was about to remind you about your little rule, you opened your eyes and stared so deeply into Jack’s that he forgot about everything for a second. Jack knew he should always get a verbal answer and that he was probably being irresponsible but you seemed to be speaking with him with just a stare and Jack was weak, so, so weak that he just mirrored your action and nodded too.
He lined the tip of his cock with your hole, pushing forward and moaning because even with preparation you were still tight and squeezing his dick and fuck. He sank deeper and deeper until his crotch touched your bottom making you both moan at the same time. Tears were falling from your eyes and your lips were opened, sinful sounds making their way out.
“Fuck,” Jack moaned, resting his forehead on your shoulder. “You’re taking me so well, princess. You were made for me, weren’t you?”
“Ngh—” your eyes were full of tears and you felt his dick twitch inside you. God, he needed to fuck the shit out of you before you exploded.
“I’m gonna fuck you now, baby, okay?” He warned, even though you were like a putty in his arms and he knew it was going to be hard for you to be verbal at that moment; you would need to discuss ways of communicating when you couldn’t properly speak but for now, you’d just try your hardest and hope for the best.
If there is a next time… right?
He put his arms behind yours, locking you up and he then really fucked you. His pace was fast and his thrusts were strong and accurate, hitting your sweet spot every time. You had tears all over your face, saliva all over your mouth and chin, looking like the cheapest fucking whore Jack could ever find. Whining to the point of making Jack’s own head dizzy.
“Ah, ngh, mmgh,” was all you would say, hands almost yanking all of Jack’s hair but he didn’t mind, no, of course not— not when you sounded like a bitch in heat, moans so sweet and delicious that felt like the syrup he liked to add to his breakfast pancakes sometimes. “T-too much, too— mmhmm.”
“Take it, sweetheart,” Jack was thrusting you like your lives depended on it. “Take it like the perfect fucking doll you are, baby, come on, pretty.”
You actually screamed when you came for the third time, almost no cum coming out at all, but your clit felt more sensitive than ever, it was too much and Jack was still hitting your spot like a maniac and Christ—
“You came all over yourself, yeah? Good—” a thrust. “Fucking—” another. “Girl—” another.
Jack kept chasing after his own release and when he felt like he couldn’t hold it anymore, he left your inside just to cum on your tummy. You were fully crying now, sobbing quietly.
Jack looked at you, fondly, feeling his heart beating faster than it ever did. He knew you needed him but he couldn’t leave you dirty, so he lifted himself briefly, just enough to reach his shirt on the nightstand, which he used to wipe the cum, sweat and saliva on your— now— fucked body.
“Shh, baby, I’m here,” Jack whispered, not wanting to overwhelm you even more. He laid down beside you, wrapping your body gently in his arms and laying your head on his chest, covering you both completely with the duvet— that thankfully hadn’t gotten dirty nor wet. “I got you, sweetheart.”
“Was I g-good?” You whispered after a while, voice small and hoarse. Jack chuckled, combing his fingers through your locks.
“Yeah, baby,” he whispered back, placing a gentle kiss on the younger’s forehead, making you lean in closer. “So fucking good.”
You heard a soft hum and it made you smile. There, with your head on his chest, and the warmth of his body close to his, you realised something: you were utterly fucked because you liked Jack Hughes so fucking much.
You started all of this because you wanted to date Zack, and prove to yourself that you can please him in bed, like any other girl.
But in fact, you don’t want to do that anymore.
Phase four of getting Zack to like you. Phase one of getting Jack to like you…?
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darlingsblackbook · 2 months ago
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That time when you betray him
"Y/n?"
I froze at the sound of his voice. A chill ran through me whole body at the realization that I had screwed up. Completely and utterly screwed up.
My body felt as if concrete had been poured all over it, I could not bring myself to physically move-as if I could make myself invisible by staying still.
"What are you doing?" He asked, but I had a feeling he already knew. He knew. I screwed up and now he knew. I could feel it in his voice, the slight- barely noticable- tremble, the tone that held the tiniest bit of hope- hope that it might not be what it looks like-
The hope that I had not just betrayed him.
Betrayed us.
"You're killing me with this silence, sweetheart." He joked even though his voice held no humour, it was just the way he dealt with things. He had told me that himself one night. "Come on, we have to go back."
Still, I stayed silent. There had never been a moment in my life where I just wanted to disappear- so badly. The silence that enveloped us was so painfully loud.
"I can't go with you." I spoke up for the first time.
He chuckled humourlessly, "Come on, don't be silly."
I gulped, took a deep breath and forced myself to move. I forced myself to turn around and see the devastation that I knew I had caused. I knew this day would come, of course, I did. From the moment I accepted this mission- I knew. What I had not anticipated was that I would end up falling for him myself. I am so stupid.
Our eyes met.
He did not say it out loud. But his eyes were begging me. Please, tell me I am wrong, tell me this is all a misunderstanding. Tell me how much you love me and want to be by my side. Tell me it is not what it looks like!
It was never supposed to go this far. I was never supposed to get this close. I told myself it was fine, that I am a grown woman and can control my emotions. If only I could go back in time and warn my past self to not get attached. Then maybe I would not feel the resentfulness for myself and my deeds that I did now- not because I regret the mission but the regret of the pain that I caused him.
"This is were we part ways." I told him softly, holding his gaze. His eyes dropped to the object in my hands, and I could feel his heart drop- he knew just how important- dangerous - it could be if it fell into the wrong hands but he trusted me, so told me the location.
He knew-thought he could trust me, I slept beside him at night and ate at the same dinner table as him. He trusted me even though he never trust easily, even though he had blocked off the entry to his heart because of past betrayals- he had let me in.
Because I was his y/n.
His y/n would never betray him.
"All this time...?" He trailed off, pursing his lips, eyes still locked onto the object in my hand. "Wow, you actually had me fooled, you know? This is really embarassing."
I steeled myself, knowing that no matter how much I wanted to, I could not change what has been done. I have already lost him, I could only complete my mission now. Do what I had been sent here for.
"Don't be." I said. "You did not know any better."
Reblog and pick up where I left off with a character of your own choice!
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roosterforme · 7 months ago
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Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 13 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: One night with Bradley leaves you wanting more of him in every way, and he's more than willing to make sure you're satisfied. But there shouldn't have been any other interruptions. Especially not when your newly established boyfriend was so willing to talk about the future.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, language, unprotected sex, oral sex, smut, Bradley in love, 18+
Length: 3300 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader
Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist
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You fell asleep with Bradley's big arm wrapped around you and the front of his naked body pressed to the back of yours. He stroked your skin and whispered the sweetest things next to your ear. Like how he was going to cook breakfast for you in the morning, and how he never wanted this weekend to end. Like how he had been falling for you for months.
You were worn out from sex in his bed and sex in the shower, and you yawned as you said, "I can't believe I just met my boyfriend a week ago."
He snorted softly and kissed the shell of your ear. "We've covered a lot of ground during that week. And we met way before that, Gorgeous. I knew you were perfect well before last Friday."
Bradley was too much, and all you could do was succumb to the warmth of his body all over yours as you dozed. You never slept this well, but especially not over the past few months. You'd found yourself always a little bit worried about Bradley's deployment when he was gone, and you were constantly wondering when you'd hear from him again. But right now, your body seemed to realize you were allowed to relax completely since he was with you. When you woke, it was to find the early morning sun shining through the curtains into the bedroom you already felt comfortable in after just a short time.
"Bradley," you murmured, his arm heavy against you. Then it tightened as he pulled you closer, and you smiled when your back met his chest. But you gasped softly when you felt his erection press against your thigh.
"Morning, Baby," he whispered in a deep rasp that left you seeing stars. His fingers were tracing the valley between your bare breasts, and his lips found your shoulder. "How'd you sleep?"
You needed to contain yourself. You'd already had him twice last night. You shouldn't be feeling like you needed him every waking minute all day long. But you did. "So good," you replied, and it came out as a soft moan that left his fingers trailing down your belly as you squeezed your thighs together in anticipation of his exploratory touch everywhere.
When you rubbed your leg back against his cock, you were rewarded with a grunt. When you did it again, he asked, "Will you let me taste you?"
The haze of sleep was still clouding your mind as he skimmed his fingers lower and lower. He'd already had his tongue in your mouth and all over your skin. He tasted you last night. But when he tucked his big hand between your thighs and cupped your pussy, tracing little shapes as he awaited an answer, you realized what he meant. And you realized how badly you wanted his mouth where his fingers were.
You turned your head back until you met his brown eyes. His cheeks were pink, his hair was a mess, and his lips were parted as he raised his eyebrow. "Yes," you whispered, and he was in motion. You rolled onto your back with a giggle and let your legs part, but he pushed them open wider with his hips as he settled on top of you.
"I'll bet you taste as sweet as you kiss," he murmured before letting his lips skim along yours. "Like fucking sugar."
Just when you tried to deepen the kiss, he pulled away, an excited expression on his face as he started to move down your body. A chill ran through you as your warm skin was exposed to the air, and Bradley took the time to nip at your breasts and belly before he was gently sucking on your inner thigh. Your pussy was spread for him as he eased your legs even further apart, and you let your fingers tangle in his hair as he said, "I have an idea. Something I've wanted to do for weeks."
"Yes," you whined as he kissed your clit softly.
"I didn't even tell you what I'm going to do," he replied, nuzzling his nose against you as he stroked your thighs with his fingers.
"I don't care," you said, back already arching slightly as you tugged on his hair. "I want you to do it."
He licked one long stripe through your pussy, moaning as he tasted you. "Holy hell. So fucking sweet." His mouth found your clit, and you squealed as he sucked until your nipples were furled and your heels were digging into his bed. When he released you, he looked up your body, met your eyes and said, "I want to make sure my pretty teacher knows her ABCs."
"What?" you gasped, head already spinning, but then he grinned a bit devilishly as he rubbed his stubbled cheek against your inner thigh. "I know my ABCs," you promised.
"We'll see," he replied. "There will be a quiz."
Bradley's big hands gripped your thighs, and his tongue swiped the letter A up and down and across your pussy. "Bradley!" you cried out as he kissed your clit softly and almost soothingly after making your hips buck.
"Next is B, for Bradley's," he rasped, and your belly clenched with desire as he drew the letter B with the tip of his tongue. Once again, he punctuated the letter with a soft kiss, and you had to grasp at his bedding to keep yourself as still as possible. His shoulders were broad and digging into your thighs, and he was smiling as you whimpered when he drew a smooth letter C.
"Oh fuck me," you whined, convinced you were dripping all over his sheets with need as he drew a D and an E.
"We can fuck in a minute," he replied, clearly unhurried as he drew a perfect F, G, H. When you started bucking, he took a break to kiss along your thighs and let his hands trail to your knees. 
The fact that you weren't even slightly self conscious as you demanded, "More," made you feel incredible, and you dug your fingers into his hair again. I, J, K, L and M were written with his tongue in such rapid succession, you were panting. "More." N, O, P, Q and R made you clench around nothing as your back arched and you stared at his headboard. You were trying to stay in control, but your orgasm was building with S, T and U. 
Your thighs were starting to tighten around his head, and he had to coax them further apart, giving you a little break as his nose grazed your clit. As soon as you relaxed your legs, you heard him murmur, "Good girl," before he flicked the letter V down to your opening and back up. The W had his tongue back on your clit, and his X and Y gave you a small reprieve before he traced the letter Z all through your pussy until you were shaking with need.
"Fuck." You were pleading with him as he brought his big body back above yours, bracing himself with his biceps as his heavy cock rested against your soaking, needy pussy.
He kissed your neck and your ear lazily as he whispered, "Quiz time. What was the letter B for?"
You sighed as he started to push his tip inside you. "Bradley's," you managed before he took your breath away with a deep thrust and a thumb to your clit. You came almost immediately from the fullness and the direct stimulation, and he devoured your mouth as your shaking hands found his shoulders. His thrusting was fluid and delicious just like his mouth had been, but now his tongue was tangled with yours. You just held on as tight as you could as you whined his name shamelessly.
"I want to cum inside you again," he grunted. "Please."
"Yes," you immediately agreed, clenching around his cock as you thought about the mess he'd made last night. 
As the rush of your pleasure started to recede, you watched his handsome features while he got closer and closer to his own orgasm, his eyes fixed on your face. When you brought your hand up to cup his cheek and touch his scars, he growled your name and made a mess of you all over again.
---------------------------
Bradley just had arguably the best night in recent memory. Or maybe ever. Now he had you in his kitchen at 9:00, and you were wearing nothing but his sweatshirt and his cum while you looked in the refrigerator for breakfast options. He stepped up behind you and wrapped one arm around your waist and let his chin rest on your shoulder. As you poked around at the gallon of milk and the carton of eggs, he murmured, "Want me to make you French toast and coffee, Gorgeous?"
"Absolutely," you practically moaned, pulling both items out and setting them on the counter. He worked around you, reaching down a baking dish and cinnamon while he stood behind you, occasionally kissing your ear while you dipped slices of raisin bread into the concoction he whipped up.
He was about to turn on the stove when you spun to face him and wrapped your arms around his neck. His sweatshirt rode up your body, and he let his hands rest on your bare ass as he grinned. "So do you want to hang out here again next weekend or up at your place?" he asked.
You made him feel confident, and he squeezed his fingers into your warm flesh as you laughed and buried your face against his neck. Your soft groan was followed by, "I already want so much more."
He was about to tell you that you already had him wrapped around your fingers when you went stiff in his arms. Bradley heard a key in his front door as you pulled away from him, and his head tipped back in frustration at the surprised look on your face. You were tugging his shirt lower on your thighs and clearly panicking as you looked toward the living room, and then your face went stony.
"It's not what you think, Baby," he promised when he caught sight of the intruder who was standing just inside his house in her matching hot pink spandex shorts and sports bra, spinning her copy of his house key around on her finger.
"How many fucking ex-girlfriends do you have, Bradley?" you asked, voice shaking as you stared at Natasha Trace. He could practically hear the tears in your words even though your sentence made him want to laugh.
"I am most certainly not his ex-girlfriend," Natasha replied, clearly as appalled as he was by the mere suggestion.
"Who is she?" you asked quietly as soon as you were focused on him, your back to the front door. "Don't lie to me."
"I wouldn't," he insisted, and you let him pull you closer as he said, "That's my best friend, Natasha. We usually go for early runs together before it gets too hot out when neither of us are deployed."
"Oh," you gasped softly. "She's the friend you had steaks and beers with last Sunday?"
"Yes. I've been friends with her for thirteen years. There's nothing going on." Bradley could appreciate that Nat was objectively very pretty, but he'd rather starve for a week than have to see her with less clothing than she had on right now. He kissed your forehead before he looked at his friend and said, "Nat, this is my girlfriend. She's going to be around here a lot. So maybe text before you use your key?"
But now you and she were looking at each other curiously as your hand drifted down his bare arm where he was standing in his favorite pair of gym shorts. You laced your fingers with his as Nat said, "I knew she looked familiar when you showed me her picture!"
"You're so familiar, too," you replied before looking up at him. "You showed your best friend my picture?"
Nat snorted with laughter. "He had to swipe through an entire folder to find one that wasn't personal." You buried your face in your free hand even as you laughed, and then Nat said, "But he could have just showed me the one that I took of you on the beach!"
When you looked at her again, your lips parted in surprise. "It's you! Oh my goodness, Bradley! Natasha took my sunset photo for me! The one I sent to you when you were deployed."
He knew that photo well, and something about this just felt right. "Prettiest thing I'd ever seen before I saw you in person."
"I guess it worked," Nat said with a smile, still twirling the key. "When I took it, you did say it was for the hot guy you hoped was going to ask you out for dinner."
"He asked me out for dinner and then some," you said, dropping his hand and taking a step closer to her. "I'm really sorry if I came across as rude, but his horrible ex, Vanessa, knocked on his door after I got here yesterday. I just thought I was going to have to fight someone for a second here."
Nat waved her hand letting you know all was forgiven, but her voice was snippy as she looked at Bradley and asked, "What the hell did Vanessa want? I sent her and her goddamn cup packing months ago."
He was about to respond when you said, "She was awful. She was so mean to him, and then she acted like she wanted to sleep with him, and then she was mean to him again!"
Nat's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure she took one look at you and got so jealous. You're lovely, and from what Bradley has told me, he's falling in love with you."
He choked on the air he was inhaling as he reached for you. Now you had a dreamy look on your face as Nat smirked at him. "Are you sufficiently convinced I'm not being catfished? Can you leave now?" he hissed. He wanted to tell you those words himself. He was thinking about doing it over French toast and coffee before Nat showed up.
She basically ignored him as she asked you, "Are you sleeping over again? I won't bother stopping to get him for a run tomorrow morning if you are."
You glanced up at him and bit your lip. "I mean, I was certainly hoping to sleep over again."
"She's sleeping over again," Bradley confirmed, kissing your forehead.
"Okay, I'm sleeping over again. But," you added, turning back toward his friend and tugging his sweatshirt lower on your thighs, "You should definitely come by again tomorrow. I'll have him ready for a run at 9:00. I don't mind sparing him for a bit while I lounge in bed."
Nat smiled and started to back towards the door. "Sounds good. I'll be back tomorrow, and I'll even take a nice picture of him for you when he's all sweaty and looks like a mess. Also, we should get coffee sometime. Get my number from Rooster?"
"Will do," you said, waving to her as she vanished back outside, shutting the door behind her. You jumped into his arms and buried your face in his chest. "I'm so embarrassed that I met your best friend without pants on."
Bradley burst into laughter as he started to lead you back into the kitchen. "I'm sure that didn't faze her one bit. And I swear I don't have any other recent ex-girlfriends or any other best friends or anyone else who should interrupt us while I make you French toast."
"And coffee."
"And coffee. And anything you want."
--------------------------
Once you had a belly full of Bradley's homemade breakfast and coffee that he tried his best to replicate from your favorite Starbucks drink, you ended up on his couch. But this time you were on your back, and you couldn't stop laughing as he tried to join you comfortably. "I'll buy a bigger couch," he grumbled, wedging his knee between the cushions and bracing himself with his hands so he didn't squish you.
"No. You can't. This is my favorite thing ever." The sweatshirt was pushed up above your belly button now, and the fabric of his gym shorts was soft against your slick core as you moved your leg to make more room for him.
"I can't say I'm not loving it too," he murmured, kissing you. "I still can't believe you're here. I can't believe I blindly got mail from the woman of my dreams."
You were down bad. You were down horrendous. You were never going to be able to get back up after Bradley Bradshaw. His skin was warm and smelled so good as he kissed you everywhere and told you how much he liked every inch of you inside and out. His fingers were laced with yours, and he nearly fell on the floor as you nudged his ribs with your knee. You laughed at the look of surprise on his face as he caught himself. "Let's go back to your bed," you whispered. "I'm going to need a little more room to do what I want right now, but we can come back out here later to snuggle."
"Shit." He got to his feet and helped you up. "Let's do it."
The two of you spent the day between his bed, his couch, and the little patio table out back. You never really stopped touching him, and you and he never really stopped talking. "I'll come back here next weekend," you promised him as you sat on his lap outside and watched the sunset.
"But maybe I can spend a night at your place during the week," he mused.
"Sure, but your house is so much nicer than my apartment."
"I'm glad you think so, Gorgeous. There's plenty of room for you here."
It was too easy to imagine, so you tried not to, but living here would be incredible. You'd be with Bradley all the time, and then when he was deployed, you could take care of everything so he didn't have to worry about it. This would be the easiest fantasy to get lost in if you let yourself, and the implications left your skin tingling as you kissed him. The sky grew darker around you as his big hand found your thigh like it belonged there.
"You should really start thinking about what you want for breakfast tomorrow," he muttered, inching his hand up as your forehead rested against his. "And let me know which day I can visit your classroom again, because I think I'd like to stay over at your place afterwards. It would make the most sense."
"God, you're too much, Bradley." You were going to melt if he kept this up. "Any day is good except for Thursday, because my kids have gym and library."
"I can work with that." His hand went higher, making you even crazier for him in the cool dusk air. "You think you need another ABC refresher? I could use a snack."
Your cheeks heated with need even as you agreed and led him inside to his bedroom. "You're always hungry, aren't you?"
"For you," he insisted.
Later, when the two of you were a pile of tangled up limbs, and your skin was slick with sweat, Bradley collected you against him. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat started lulling you to sleep as your exhausted body relaxed completely against his. Your eyes were closed, and you were just starting to doze when Bradley's arm tightened gently around you. His voice was deep and sure, right next to your ear, and you smiled as he said, "I love you, my Gorgeous pen pal."
------------------------------
Well, he said it. He said it, and now I'm melting even more for him. A mid-week sleep over already? I don't think I can help myself, but that morning commute might be brutal. Only one way to find out. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls and @daggerspare-standingby (for the ABCs!)
PART 14
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astarionxhappiness · 11 months ago
Text
Summary: Astarion gets badly injured in a fight, and you have to take care of him while waiting to be found.
Word count: 5,781
Warnings: Astarion being hurt.
It was just another fight.
That was what you thought, at least.
Just another day of danger and adventure.
Never for a second when you woke up that morning did you think you and your companions would be scrambling for your lives.
"Head for the cave!" You heard Shadowheart scream to you over the sounds of the exploding fireballs.
Smoke filled the air thickly, making it hard to see. The thick smoke filled your lungs, making it hard to breath.
Your eyes darted around, trying to find the location she spoke of.
You tensed as a large hand wrapped around your bicep, making you nearly drop your weapon as you were yanked to the left.
Your gaze snapped in the direction of the newcomer, relief washing over you when you laid eyes on Astarion, though he did not seem to share this feeling.
"Things are getting far messier than I care for. I'd say it is time we leave, darling."
He kept a firm grip on your arm, pulling you through the smoke that filled your lungs painfully.
You yelped as you were both suddenly thrown forward by a violent explosion landing not two feet directly behind you, sending both of you flying forward.
The vampire managed to turn himself to land on his shoulder instead of his face, though thanks to the grip on your arm, it made it far more difficult for you to land with similar grace, instead falling direction on top of him causing him to grunt in pain.
"Has anyone ever told you that you weigh far to much to be throwing yourself on people, darling?" He questioned rhetorically, winded from the impact.
"Well next time let's try it with you catching me without my weapons and armor, hm?" You retorted, making him smile.
"Well, so long as you're offering," He replied with a sly smile.
You couldn't help letting out a breathy laugh despite the adrenaline coursing through you, smacking his arm before moving to get off of him.
You yelped when a bolt of lightning suddenly struck right beside the two of you.
You moved instinctively to shield the vampire with your body, looking down at him questioningly as the dirt settled, as though scared something had passed through you to hurt him instead.
He was already looking up at you, seeming taken aback by this show of care, still not used to such acts of love and loyalty.
Neither of you were able to dwell in the moment, though, certain that the next mage would likely not miss.
You yanked him to his feet, grabbing his hand and starting at a blind sprint, squinting through the thick black smoke.
You did not bother looking back for the others as you reached the edge of the smoke cloud, listening to the sounds of battle still going strong in the distance.
"In here," You commanded when you spotted a small hole in the rocks up ahead that you could squeeze into.
His hand still in yours, you took off running.
You were close. so close-
A cry of pain coming from your left was the first indication of something being wrong.
Your head turned, the scene playing out in slow motion before your very eyes as you watched with horror as an arrow slid through Astarion's back, the tip of it shoving violently through the front of his shirt.
Your scream sounded distant to your own ears as you quickly turned to grab him just as he started to fall, his eyes giving away the shock of being impaled.
"Shadowheart!" You screeched, struggling to keep him on his feet.
Now he was heavy.
"No- no nononono-" You felt your stomach in your throat, your heart pounding as you watched blood leaking from the elf's mouth.
"Astarion, don't you dare faint on me! " You cried, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, adrenaline driving you, giving you the strength to practically carry him to the nook that promised you both safety.
You slipped between the narrow walls of stone, panting as you carefully sat him down.
"Star, hey, look at me," You pleaded as his eyes seemed unable to focus.
"I don't. . I don't feel well, love" he murmured distractedly, sounding dazed.
"Hey, hey--look at me! It's not that bad. It's not even that bad. Just breathe," You ordered through tears that started to well in your eyes, your dirty hands coming to cup his equally messy face as you pressed your forehead to his.
"Just focus, okay? You're gonna be okay. I have some healing potions, and Shadowheart is gonna find us" Despite your assurances, you couldn't stop the sob that left you, desperately petting his face before moving off to grab the potion. "Drink, okay? Just drink." You put the rim to his lips, a hand under his chin to help him drink, using your other hand to help tilt his head back.
"Do you remember when we first met?" He murmured distractedly when he finished, his head falling back against the rock behind him.
"Yeah," You whispered. "Of course I do." You went to looking at the arrow, whimpering as you listened to him cough, a small bit of blood and liquid from the potion coming up.
"You were so unsuspecting. . I never told you this, but I always felt bad for trying to kill you. . " You looked up at him, sniffling as you leaned forward to press your face against the side of his.
"No, no don't feel bad. You aren't supposed to feel bad. You're supposed to b-be unremorseful, and cocky and-" You cut off when your throat constricted too tightly for you to speak. "Please," You whispered, letting out a soft, helpless sob. "You're gonna be okay. I don't want you to be embarrassed telling me this when you're better because you are gonna be better." You grabbed another healing potion, though you knew it was futile. The arrow he had been hit with had a poison on it. And unless you could get him a healer, no amount of the potions or magic you could offer him would fix it.
he let out a soft laugh, grimacing in pain, brows furrowing.
"I won' be embarrassed," He replied dizzily. "I want you to know that. . That I care about you, okay?" he took in a deep breath, letting out a slight laugh before whimpering in pain.
The sound shattered your heart.
He brought his hand up to cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb tenderly against your soft skin, wiping away a tear.
You grabbed at his wrist with both hands, bloodying it in the process due to having been trying to mess with the wound to help it stop bleeding so much.
"I love you," You whispered. "You aren't allowed to leave me, do you understand? I won't let you. I'm gonna figure this out. We're gonna get you help." You could still hear the sounds of commotion outside, making your stomach churn.
The others could still be out there. In need of help, or dead. .
You pushed this thought away, knowing it would do nothing good to think about.
There was nothing you could do right now. You had no way to know where they were, and running back into the fight would only put yourself in danger, and possibly cause complications for the others.
You simply needed to have faith that they had made it to the cave Shadowheart had seen. Or, better yet, were heading this way now. .
"Star?" You whispered when his eyes started to lull shut.
"Astarion?" No response.
"Hey! Astarion, stay with me!" You grabbed at his shoulders as his hand slipped off your cheek, panic washing over you as you shook his upper half, careful not to cause more damage to his body as you did so.
You cursed, grabbing the knife you had from your boot and quickly cutting a line over the vein in your wrist before pressing it to his mouth, praying to god that it would give him enough strength to last a bit longer while you waited for help.
"Astarion, please wake up," You whispered desperately. "Please. . I need you."
It was a terrifying fifteen seconds before his eyes came open, having managed to get enough of the liquid down.
"Oh, thank god," You cried, keeping your wrist to his mouth, which he awkwardly adjusted around with a soft grunt
His eyes fell shut as he groaned, absently sucking, feeling far better with the strength it offered him.
"We need to get this arrow out of you," You said, looking down at it. "I'm going to need to break off the tip, and pull the sides out before I can give you the last potion. It should help with the bleeding at least."
He nodded dizzily, unable to respond verbally as he kept his mouth against your wrist.
"I'm sorry, but I am going to need both hands for this," You infromed him regreatfully, pulling away when you felt he had had enough to keep him conscious for the time being.
"Gods- Could you not have woken me up after you pulled the arrow out?" He complained as he felt you cutting into the end of the arrow sticking out of the front of his torso.
"No!" you replied heatedly. "Because I can't handle thinking I am going to lose you, and that means you are going to need to stay conscious, do you understand??" You looked up at him with what looked to be anger, but he recognized it to be pure and utter terror.
He couldn't help smiling. A truly unseemly sight due to the blood smeared over his lips, chin and teeth. Not to mention the greying notes of his skin as the poison started to take over.
Still, he was your unseemly sight. And you would do anything for the elf. Even if that meant whipping a miracle magically out of nowhere to save his sorry ass.
"Gods!" He cried out as he felt a sudden pressure on the wound when you managed to break off the arrowhead, careful not to touch it as you chucked it to the other side of the small nook.
"I know," You whispered. Pained.
"I am not entirely sure you actually do, darling," He retorted breathlessly. "I don't see an arrow sticking out of your rib cage!"
"It isn't in your ribcage, dear" You replied, pressing a rag to the wound, causing him to hiss.
" . . Regardless," He went on dizzily. "My point remains. ."
You looked up at him, frowning as you watched him try to keep his eyes focused.
You knew the blood wouldn't hold him for long. He was more lucid, but you could see the first signs of him already starting to slip away again.
"Just focus," You whispered.
"I am gonna have to lay you on your stomach. This is going ot hurt, I'm so, so sorry, Star." You took in a shaky breath, willing yourself to be strong for him. Doing your best to argue and keep him engaged.
"Wasn't I already?" He asked in confusion, making your heart sink,
"No, " You replied, bringing your hand to cup his cheek. "No, you're sitting up right now. . But I need you to lay down on your stomach. Just let me guide you, alright? Do you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you" he retorted, feeling your hands come up to help him maneuver carefully onto the ground.
He grunted, face smushing into the dirt.
"What sort of question even is that, darling?" He continued on, your heart twisting.
"A silly question," You murmured, moving over to sit on the backs of his legs, knowing he was probably going to try and flail when you did this.
"I need you to stay as still as you can for me, okay, Star?" he simply nodded in response, letting out a soft, dizzy groan.
You grasped the arrow carefully with both hands, surprised when you found it to be slippery with blood, only then realizing you had never staunched the bleeding from your wrist.
You grabbed a cloth quickly to offer a better grip, taking a deep breath before slowly and carefully starting to remove the long length of wood from his flesh, listening with a sickened displeasure to the mewls of pain that left his lips, his body writhing beneath you as he fought to try and make the pain stop.
"I'm sorry," You cried, throat tight. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry- It's gonna be over in just a second, I promise- I'm so sorry-" You took in a shaky breath as your resolve to stay strong was crumbling listening to the tortured sounds leave him in an unfiltered stream.
"Please," He gasped, the plea desperate and weak.
"Please make it stop-" He cried out as the last inch of the arrow slipped suddenly from his back, the resistance it had been offering you having suddenly stopped, making you go faster than you had intended.
"Okay okayokay, it's done, it's gone," You whimpered, bending down and peppering loving kisses to his shoulder as he panted in pain beneath you.
"You're okay," You went on, moving off of him and grabbing another rag quickly to press it to the wound, making him grunt.
"It's okay. . Hey, let me help you sit up, okay? You need the other healing potion." You quickly wiped away the tears blurring your eyes, replacing it with a thin layer of blood instead.
He offered you his hand to take, allowing you to help him sit up before he promptly fell backwards against the rocks, groaning as he did so.
"This is no fun," He deduced, breath heavy and shallow.
You shook your head miserably.
"Not in the fucking slightest," You stated, moving to press into his side as you gave him the last potion.
"This is the last one," You whispered. "But you can feed on me, to keep up your strength, okay?" You flinched as a firebolt struck right in front of the opening to your hide away, your heart pounding in your chest.
"I think I'd just like to sleep actually, if tha's alright with you, darling" He murmured, finding himself completely exhuasted.
"No- Hey, no you have to stay awake- Astarion!" You gave his shoulder a stressful shake, making him open his eyes again.
"Come on. Drink" You held up the potion to his lips, helping him swallow it back.
It managed to heal his wounds enough that he would not die from them. But it did little good against the poison working its way through his veins.
he coughed as he choked on some of the liquid, bringing a hand up to wipe off his lips, bloodying it in the process.
"Good," You breathed, pressing your forehead against his shoulder in relief when you felt his stomach stop bleeding.
"Just feed, okay? The others will find us. I'm sure of it." You shut your eyes as you brought your still bleeding wrist up for him, feeling his fangs sink in to the skin tiredly, though he did manage to still find the strength to bring a hand up to hold the back of yours, keeping your wrist in place as he gently sucked, swallowing the crimson liquid gratefully.
You hid the grimace of pain against his shoulder, willing to suffer far greater if it meant your sweet vampire being okay.
Though after a time, you were beginning to feel quite light headed.
Astarion had gotten quite good the past few months with learning to control his feeding so as not to hurt you, but with the poison affecting his thoughts, and making him barely conscious, he was right back to being absent-minded with it.
You didn't care at the moment. If he needed it, you would provide.
You would offer every last drop of your being if it meant buying him enough time for someone to find him and help.
You felt tears absently leaking down your face as you stayed curled up against him, your free arm wrapped around his back, holding him weakly so his side was pressing against your chest.
"I love you," You whispered, praying to any and all gods that might have been listening, willing to spare him.
You shut your eyes tightly as twin tears dripped down your cheeks.
You hesitated when you felt his grip on your hand loosen, and he let your hand fall from his lips.
You looked up at him, sniffling.
You were relieved to find that he had not stopped due to losing consciousness, but rather of his own volition.
"I . . I love you too, you know," He murmured hesitantly, never having actually been brave enough to say the words back.
You sniffled again, cupping his cheek dizzily as you brought your head up to press against the side of his hair, eyes shutting tightly as you let out a quiet sob, leaving a long, tender smooch to the side of his head after a moment.
"I know," You whispered. "That is why I know you're gonna be strong, and fight through this." you put a hand over the wound, sniffling once more as you tried to control your tears.
He smiled slightly as he looked down at you, his eyes unable to focus properly as he did so, seeing blurry doubles.
"Is it cold in here?" He asked absently, feeling a bit chilly.
You frowned.
Though it was perhaps cooler than it was outside, it certainly was not a temperature that should have bothered the elf under normal circumstances.
You put the back of your hand to his dirty forehead, stomach twisting as your fears were confirmed.
"You're getting a fever, I think," You informed him. "Most likely from the poison. ."
"We can't start a fire, I'm sorry." If the poor ventilation wasn't a problem, the attention that the light of the fire could draw most certainly would be.
"That's well," He assured. "I can just use you as a blanket instead, my sweet." He smiled at you somewhat cheekily, making you bite your lip.
"Happily," You replied, shutting your eyes when he leaned down to press his lips against yours in a soft kiss.
You laid him down carefully, watching him shiver unpleasantly due to the cold ground.
"Let me take off you shirt, okay?" You said, moving your hands down to work on getting his dirty, blood soaked armor off.
"As much as I love pleasing you, my love, I don't think I am in the shape for such activities at the moment," He replied breathlessly.
"Gods- It is to share body head, Astarion!" You objected, running a hand worriedly through the front of his hair to brush it off his brow.
"Hmm. . Sure," He replied with a sideways smile, eyes lulling shut.
You ignored him, working quickly to get his upper half exposed. You used rags to quickly cover the wounds with to keep out dirt before doing the same to your own clothing, the thin fabric covering your breasts the only thing between you two as you laid down and pressed your body against his.
You pulled the pile of clothing over the two of you for insolation, feeling him shiver as he wrapped his arms around you, coughing absently as he did so, his throat feeling a little flemmy.
You wrapped your arms around him, cradling his head against your shoulder as you laid halfway on top of him, acting as a human blanket as best you could.
You cursed yourself for having dropped your scrolls during the fight. You had had one or two that would have been rather handy to help keep him comfortable while you waited on the others.
You made him feed every hour or so. The second you started to feel that you wouldn't pass out if he drank, you let him.
His fever developed into something quite unpleasant as the hours passed, his shivering now constant, his coughing coming every minute or so as his body tried to fight off the invasion.
It should have killed him by now. By all rights, the vampire spawn should have been a full corpse in your arms as night fell. And yet, he was still with you. Fighting and struggling to remain conscious.
Though not without a great many complaints and a good stream of whining.
Still, you did not care. You would listen to him complain and whine the rest of your life, and be grateful for it so long as it meant he was still with you.
"The others will find us," You assured for the thirteenth time in the past ten minutes, the fever making him quite absent-minded.
"But how do you know?" He asked in concern for the eleventh time also in the past ten minutes.
"Because I do. I have faith." He huffed at this.
"faith. . Like Shadowheart has faith in her dark mistress? Or Wyll has faith we will actually free him from his contract?" You gave him a look.
"I don't put my faith in gods, or higher powers, Astarion. I put my faith in my friends. my family." you pulled closer to him as he sighed.
"You always were soft, darling," He lamented. "And I may very well die for it."
He grunted when you smacked his arm.
"The only way you are going to die is if I kill you, now shut up and be comforted." You pressed your body against him tighter, cradling his head protectively.
he smiled absently, chuckling as he allowed himself to press closer to you in return, feeling the comfort.
You were maybe optimistic and youthful in your faith in people, but you were certainly forceful and hard headed as well.
He whimpered as a particularly bad chill ran through him, eyes shutting as he tried to focus on your warmth.
You frowned softly to yourself.
He was burning up.
Well, for him, at least. For someone who was alive, it would have felt more like being a little overheated rather than feverish.
"I've got you," You cooed, running your fingers through his hair damp soothingly.
"Just focus on my voice, okay? We are going to get through this. And when we do, I'll take you to a nice tavern, hm? With a warm room and a soft bed. . And we can just lay there as long as we like, and enjoy ourselves, and drink fine wine. . " You listened as he took in a deep breath, relaxing as he allowed himself to latch on the to comforting fantasy.
"That sounds rather nice, darling," He murmured sleepily, another deep inhale coming and going before he coughed softly to clear his throat.
You kissed his temple lingeringly as you continued to smooth his hair back with your hand, listening for any signs of fighting or, hopefully, the sounds of a rescue.
Neither arrived however as you listened.
You swallowed heavily as you brought your hand up for him again, feeling your arm shake with the effort it took to hold it up to him.
You knew that your body was not making enough blood to replenish the stock he was taking, but you didn't care. you had to make it work.
You shut your eyes as you felt his fangs graze over the wounds he had already created the past few hours, though you looked at him questioningly when he grunted, shaking his head as he softly pushed your hand away.
"Star you need to feed," You said with a frown, looking down at him worriedly, unsure if it wasn't enough anymore to keep him going.
"No," He breathed, shaking his head, eyes remaining shut. "No. . I can feel your hand shaking. You sound weak. . I won't take anymore from you. . I will be okay without it for now, love." He turned to face you, coughing softly.
You stared at him silently, unsure what to do with that.
You felt you stomach twisting with love for him.
Even in a state of certain death, he didn't want to hurt you. . And yet, you needed him to, if it meant ensuring he would be okay. .
"I will be alright," You murmured reassuringly, shifting down tiredly to come face to face with him. "I promise. Don't worry about me right now, okay? I've got it." You brushed your nose over his. "I've got you."
He opened his eyes just a crack to look at you.
You were almost as pale as he was, and the weakness pushing you towards sleep was difficult to miss.
He shook his head softly, clearing his throat once more.
"No . . I will be fine," He replied, pressing his forehead against yours softly.
you sighed, knowing it would do little good to argue with him about it. Neither of you had the energy for it anyhow.
"Alright. . In a few minutes then, okay?"
"An hour," He compromised, though you frowned.
"Fine. . An hour." It would be the shortest damn hour that man ever experienced.
Ten minutes passed, and you nudged him again.
"Its time," You murmured. "You need to feed." You offered him your wrist, eyes shut.
"That was an hour?" He questioned in groggy confusion, shivering softly against you.
"Mhm, whole hour," You replied, with a tired nod.
"Hm. . " He did not offer anything more, finding himself unable to muster the strength to feed again.
He was getting less and less each time, and as the poison spread through him, it was becoming less effective as it grew stronger inside of him.
"Star, you need to feed," You murmured after a long silence, struggling to stay awake yourself.
"Star. . ?" You forced your eyes open when you realized his shivering had stilled.
Your heart stopped, your entire body going cold as you looked up at his unmoving form.
You brought a hand up to put two fingers under his nose to check for breathing.
"Oh, god," You whispered with horror.
"Astarion, love, wake up," You pleaded, sitting up dizzily and trying to force more blood down his throat.
It wasn't enough though, and you knew it.
Your heart was racing, making you feel like you were going to pass out.
There was only one thing you could think to do at this point.
You were out of time waiting. If he was to die anyway, then you were more than willing to risk going with him if it meant he had even a slim chance of getting help before it was too late.
You got up on shaky feet, stumbling with your hand guiding you against the rocks as you made your way for the exit of the alcove, mustering all the energy you had left inside of you to channel it all into your chest, your breathing picking up as your started to feeling it go into your shoulders and down your arms, tingling your hands with such power that it felt like it was going to consume your very essence.
The energy shot from you fingertips high into the sky as the words to cast the spell left you lips in a scream that released every ounce of your fear and desperation. The bolt of yellow energy tore through you, stealing every drop of energy you had left to offer.
It was, in a word, glorious.
People would have been able to see it for miles, the sound cracking like thunder, the force of it shaking the ground beneath your very feet.
A beacon that with any luck would offer a way for the rest of your party to find you.
You never even felt your body hit the ground, laying crumpled in a heap just outside the rocks where your beloved remained barely holding on to the last threads of life in him. .
Your eyes opened blearily, looking around you in a daze.
The first thing you recognized was the feeling of something warm curled against you, and the familiar scent that accompanied it.
You looked over, heart skipping a beat when you found your white haired elf snuggling against your side, passed out, but a normal, healthy temperature and complexation.
You felt your breath hitch as tears welled in your eyes with relief.
"There she is," You heard Wyll's voice from the entrance of the doorway.
You looked over, wiping the water from your eyes as you gave him a smile, letting out a breathy gasp.
"That was quite the scare you two gave us," He said as he moved over, sitting down by your bedside.
"We found you with mere seconds to spare," Another voice added, and Gale appeared to lean in the doorway with a smile.
A scoff followed, and you couldn't help smiling more as Shadowheart appeared.
"Hardly," She corrected. "Ignore Gale's exaggerations, Tav." She gave the wizard a look, who merely returned it with a smile, his arms loosely crossed in a relaxed position over his chest.
"Allow for the dramatic every once in a while, will you? "Either way, you showed quite the surge of power back there," He went on, sounding proud. "I shudder to think what you'd be capable of if you ever agreed to study under my teachings." You smiled a little more, letting out a breathy laugh.
"Perhaps after things settle down a little," You replied fondly.
Shadowheart moved to kneel beside the bed next to where Wyll sat.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, looking concerned.
"Tired," Was the honest response, "But I'll be fine." Though you cared little about your own state.
You looked over to Astarion. Wyll read the questions of worry immediately, and took your hand reassuringly.
"He will be just fine," He promised. "There is no need to worry about him. He is back to his normal self, more or less. He fought three separate nurses to lay in bed with you. Though perhaps now that you are awake, you might convince him to bathe and allow for his own treatment of care."
You bit your lip, looking over at the warlock and nodding, taking in a deep breath as you lovingly squeezed his hand.
"He does smell a bit, doesn't he," You whispered emotionally, letting out a quiet laugh as Shadowheart joined in.
"I suppose even vampires need a bath now and again to remain fresh," She replied playfully.
You laughed again, sounding on the verge of tears.
"Thank you," You said, looking between the three of them, throat tight.
"I don't know what I would do without all of you." You sniffled as they quickly moved in on you, crowding you for a suffocating hug, getting Astarion in the process as well.
"Can't a vampire get some bloody rest with his beloved anymore?" The grouchy creature objected as the action of their affections woke him from his much needed nap.
They retracted their affections quickly, allowing Astarion to see that your eyes were finally open, your body moving. .
"Come, I suspect these two are going to want a moment to themselves," Gale commented with a smile when Astarion's expression changed when he found you to be conscious.
You gave the three a farewell, looking back to Astarion who was already staring at you as though you had been brought back from the dead.
You did not even get the chance to speak before two cool hands cupped your face, and his lips smashed against yours in an emotional, adoring kiss.
You shut your eyes dizzily, winded from the sudden passion.
Your hands came up to mimic the hold he had you in, running your thumb tenderly against his sharp cheekbone, your stomach twisting with relief and joy.
You gasped when he finally allowed you air once more, your hands remaining on one another's face, staring silently into each others eyes for a time.
"I thought I'd lost you," He whispered, sounding choked. "Don't you dare think about doing that to me again," He added with angry vehemence, kissing you again before you could speak.
"You are one to talk," You retorted when you were finally allowed to do so, grabbing his waist and pushing him from on top of you to instead lay facing one another.
"You- God, Astarion, I thought I had lost you!" You felt your throat tighten, pressing your forehead against his as you shut your eyes tightly, a leg slipping to rest between his.
"That is apparently something I'm completely incapable of handling. So you are just- You are going to have to avoid doing anything like that ever again, do you understand?- No, forget that- You are never leaving our camp again!- No, never mind- I'm making Gale make a bubble for you, and you will just live in that bubble, safe for the rest of your life!-" You cut off to the sound of his laughing, the sound making your heart swell.
"Stop laughing at me, I am dead serious!" You said, doing your best to stay forceful despite his laugh being utterly contagious.
it was positively turning your insides to mush.
"Very well, darling," He said, smiling as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against him. "But only if you agree to live in this bubble of yours with me." You smiled, bringing your fingertips to run over the side of his face tenderly.
"Deal," You murmured, soothed by his tender touch and calm voice.
He sighed softly, leaning forward to kiss you gently before pulling away again.
"But honestly, darling, if you ever sleep for two days straight after creating what the others described as 'the most powerful burst of energy they have ever seen in their lives' ever again, you will be answering to my wrath. Are we clear?" You grinned as he pulled you closer.
"We're clear," You murmured fondly, looking up at him with doe eyes.
"Good," He murmured, putting a hand on the side of your head as he left a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead, your eyes shutting with blissful relief.
"Now, what do you say to a bath?" You questioned, putting a hand on his chest. "The others are complaining about your . . intoxicating scent." You grinned as you spoke.
"Hmm. . Five more minutes," He decided, pulling you ever closer and shutting his eyes.
You took in a deep breath, more than content with this decision, happy to lay with him longer than a mere five minutes should he decide he desired longer. . .
A/N Thank you my lovies for reading! If you have interest in being notified when I put out a new fic, shoot me a message and I will tag you as I put them out. :)
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kjthenbee · 3 months ago
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The more I think about the Nandermo interview scene at the end of S6E3, the more I realize just how significant that entire scene is for Nandor as a character.
These first three episodes have told us multiple times that Nandor is not the person he used to be - he is no longer a purely violent, apathetic, selfish man (though he obviously retains some of those qualities). He's changed - he's softer. And Guillermo is the reason for this change.
We've seen how Nandor used to treat Guillermo early on in the series. I can imagine that when little 19yo Guillermo first came to him, Nandor was dismissive, thinking of him as nothing more than another familiar that he was going to string along for years - and, of course, bright-eyed young Guillermo, who was willing to do whatever it took to become a vampire, wouldn't have cared how he was treated.
But now, 15 some years later, everything is different. Guillermo isn't his familiar anymore. They aren't bound by the power imbalance of that relationship any longer. Guillermo has become someone important to Nandor, possibly more important than anyone has ever been before. No matter how much shit they've gone through, or how much Nandor has fucked things up, Guillermo has always stayed, and he has always cared. Even when he does leave, he never stays gone for long. Nandor has never experienced this type of a relationship with someone before - a relationship with someone who loves and cares for him unconditionally.
In the interview scene, Nandor totally could have messed with Guillermo, could have just... not taken him seriously. He could have done the interview in the main room with all the other vampires and had a laugh about the whole thing, but he didn't. He specifically took Guillermo to a private room to conduct the "interview". And the entire time, he treated it with the utmost sincerity- and you can see it in the way he looks at Guillermo with such attentiveness, such fondness. He lets him talk, and just listens. When Guillermo talks about not having many friends as a child, Nandor sympathizes and tells him that that must have been hard even if he himself does not know what this is like. He smiles with him, and laughs with him.
On top of all of this, Nandor very much could have left Guillermo hypnotized - he could have had his former meek, obedient familiar back by his side. The Nandor from just a couple of seasons ago might have done just that. But now, he's learned. He knows that he can't do that to Guillermo. He can't do that to someone he genuinely loves cares about deeply. The Guillermo that he knows now - confident, competent, and sure of himself - is the Guillermo he loves. Nandor does not want to take that away from him for his own selfish reasons. So, he just lets himself have one thing: Guillermo can sleep under the stairs one last time, then he'll unhypnotize him, and things will be back to the way they were - with them at a distance. But at least Guillermo will be himself.
Soooo yeah. I really hope that this is not just fanservice or whatever and that the writers are actually setting something up between them this time. I want so badly to believe that we might actually get some payoff to this 5 season long will-they-won't-they setup. I mean, seriously - what do the writers have to lose with this being the final season?
I'm trying not to keep my expectations too high just because of how many times we've been burned in the past, but this scene (along with the shed scene where Nandor was still talking like Nixon lmao) have gotten me hopeful again...
So here I am, back in Nandermo hell, one last time...
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andillneverbethesame · 7 months ago
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CASUAL
❥ draco malfoy x reader
❥ warnings; oral sex, implied vaginal sex, not reread — may contain gramatical mistakes
❥ word count; 2,3k
❥ a/n; ik i should be prob writing your ts requests but i've been listening to casual by chappel roan sm lately and got idea for this fic sorry for the second smut not being written. i realized how much i don't like writing it.
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you and your dear friend daphne greengrass were seated in the slytherin's common room sofa, doing your potion's homework on the last minute.
"ugh, does snape hate us? this is an awful homework!" daphne complained with her head in her hands.
"i agree," you spoke. "this is taking forever. and i gotta meet draco in-" you checked your watch "-fifteen minutes."
daphne sighed, making you glance at her with a raised eyebrow.
"got a problem, greengrass?"
she stared at you, contemplaining on what she should say. "i think you're a loser that you're still hanging around and let him treat you like that."
daphne didn't like draco before this thing between you two even started, none of your friends did. but they hate him even more, knowing he's wiping the floor with you.
"you don't know how sweet he actually is," you tried to convince her. and a bit yourself, too.
"it's a facade."
in that moment, you could see from the corner of your eye two girls walking past you and eyeing you up and down.
"do you think it's serious between her and malfoy?" asked one the other.
"nah. nott said malfoy told him she's just a girl he bangs on his couch." answered the other.
you froze. this was so humiliating. you could only hope that those were just rumours and draco never said anything like that to theodore. you could ask nott, but you doubt he would tell you if he really heard him say that. him and draco were the best of friends.
you met daphne's look that clearly said, "i told you so."
"oh, fuck off!" you packed your things and left the common room.
draco said to meet him in the library, so that's where you were heading. on your way there, you tried your best to ignore the looks and the whispers of other people. it was a date night, after all. you were determined not to let your mood be ruind by silly things like that.
the library was quiet as always. you always thought draco asked to meet you there because it's such a calm, romantic place. plus, both you and draco loved reading so you'd spent your date time like that. however, daphne suggested a few weeks ago that the reason draco wanted to meet in the library, was the fact that there weren't much people in the evening hours, so no one would see you there. you could only hope that that wasn't the case.
you found him at his usual spot in the right back corner of the library.
but he was not alone.
he was seated at the table while pansy parkinson was sitting on the table with her legs crossed. you could see her fingers slightly lifting up her skirt, revealing her underwear. and the worst thing was: draco was looking. and by the way he smirked and licked his lips, he liked it.
rage filled your entire body but you decided to play it cool. you put on a smile and made your way over to them.
"hey, pansy," you said, still smiling brightly. "didn't expect to see you here. haven't you got a better thing to do than flirting with other girl's man?"
she rolled her eyes and got off the table. she send draco a wink and blew him a kiss before leaving.
you huffed and took a seat opposite to draco. he continued on reading his book, but as if he could feel the daggers you've been sending through his head, he lifted his gaze.
"what?" he asked, acting clueless.
"care to explain why it looked like if i didn't walk in you two would be shagging each other's brains out?"
"we wouldn't." you swore you could see his eyes crinkling. what a fucking liar. "why do you care anyway? are you jealous?"
"yeah, i am!" you admitted. "we are together. you have me. so why do you still cave other's girl attention so badly?"
he snorted. "we're not together."
you froze, feeling humiliated once again. this was so embarassing you wished you had the ability to melt into the ground. but you didn't. all you could do was stare at him for a few seconds before letting a faint "oh" leave your lips. you couldn't help it. tears started to form in the corners of your eyes.
draco saw that. "i'm sorry, baby. i told you no attachment." his arm reached over the table and placed it over yours.
"i know. you're right. i'm sorry," you apologized although you had nothing to apologize for.
draco stood up from his seat and kneeled in front of you. "it's okay, i forgive you. you're someone i couldn't lose." and then, his hands went to the sides of your face and his lips to yours. although, you were deep down still feeling angry. the feeling of his kiss made it vanish.
------------------------------------------------
"oh merlin!"
you were in draco's limousine, your legs were over the boy's shoulders and his head was between your thighs. you gripped his blonde hair. he was truly a master at this. his tongue worked perfectly on you, eating you out as if he was starved and as if he never tasted anything better.
you were sure his fingers would leave a mark from the tight hold on your outer thighs. but you didn't mind. it would be there to remind you of the best head of your life.
his tongue flicked over your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body each time he touched that one spot that caused you to see heaven. your eyes were rolled to the back of your head as your nails dugged into the skin of his shoulders. you were close to the edge despite it being only five minutes.
your glassy eyes watched him. it was truly a wonderful sight that could alone make you come. and then, his icy blue eyes met yours. and that was all you needed to fall apart under his touch.
when you finally collected yourself and draco wiped his mouth with a napkin he pulled from the back pocket of his pants, you two sat in silence with your head on his shoulder and his arm around your body. this was one of the moments you refused to believe that draco believed it was casual. him kissing the top of your head, his fingers intertwined with yours, him smiling when you drew a heart on the limousine's foggy window-
"would you like to meet my mother?"
-him asking you to meet his mother-
wait. what?
your eyes went wide as you pulled away from his embrace. "what?"
he shrugged. "my mum wants to meet you."
you raised an eyebrow and smiled. "you told your mum about me?" that was surprising. i mean, sure, you told your mum about him too, but that was different. this meant everything to you while it meant very little to nothing to draco.
"no," he shook his head and your smile dropped. "i'd bet all my money it was zabini or nott."
"oh, right. well, if you'd like me to, i'd like to meet your mum."
"great," he nodded. "i think you'd like her. i'm not so sure about my dad but. . ." he didn't finish his sentence and you didn't ask kim, knbowing how the relationship between him and lucius was.
you were about to meet his parents. was it still casual?
---------------------------------------------
you gasped at the sight of the malfoy manor. it was twice bigger than you expected. the gate opened and you two walked in to the property.
"how rich are you?" you asked him, still gaping.
"enough to never have to work for the rest of my life," he replied with a smirk.
"hm, i'd like that."
and then, your mind began on creating fantasies again. you were dumb. but you loved it. you dreamt of you and draco in a year, after you two graduate. you dreamt of living together and it didn't have to be in a manor large like this one. it could be in a room at three broomsticks. it didn't matter as long as you two were together. and then, maybe you two would be something. and he'd show you off to everyone.
you blushed at the thought. these fantasies are fatal.
draco opened the large door to the manor and you two walked in. for some reason, it was a bit colder than the outside air but you could imagine yourself spending time there.
"mother?" draco called out but there was no response. but then, an elf walked into the hallway and the boy asked him, "dobby, where are mother and father?"
"t-they are out, mr malfoy. they are taking care of some business," he replied, his voice shaking.
draco nodded, looking as if he knew what business the elf was talking about. he turned to you and said, "let's go. we'll wait in my room."
he took a hold of your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, making fireworks explode inside of you.
his room was quite small compared to the other rooms in the manor, but it was very cozy anyway. he had the dark walls covered with posters of his favourite quidditch team and also with pictures. you took your time walking around and exploring. there were countless of photographs with him and his friends, two or three with his mother (zero with his father) and one with. . .
you.
it was a photo of you two on one of slytherin's party, before you started hooking up, you were sitting on the common's room sofa with your arm around him and his hand on your knee. you already fancied him at this point. the look in your eyes as you gazed at him couldn't be missed.
you really did love him.
you turned around, still smiling. you found him sitting on his bed so you took the advantage and began to straddle him. his head hit the matress as his hands gripped your hips. your fingers found its way to his colar, untying his tie.
"what do you say to a little fun before dinner?"
-----
"draco!" female voice echoes through the manor. "we're home! you can come downstairs!"
you two spent the last fifteen minutes in his bed, in silence.
"well, we definitely can't come down looking like this." you both were still naked, not bothering to put on your clothes just yet. your hair were a mess and your lipstick was smudged from the endless making out.
you got up to find your clothes since they were scattered everywhere across the floor.
"have you seen my bra?" you asked draco after you found your panties. you saw him holding it, expecting to give it to you. but instead of that, he send you a wink, turned around and put it in one of his drawer.
a light laugh slip passed your lips. "you dick. that's my favourite one!"
"well," he shrugge, "it's mine now, sorry."
you rolled your eyes and slipped on your maroon dress. this one was a gift from draco for your birthday.
right after that, you grabbed your clutch and walked into the bathroom to fix your appearance.
"a question," you called out to draco.
"yeah?"
"what did you say to your mum?"
"what do you mean?"
"well," you paused to put on your lipstick. "what did you tell her about us and our relationship status?"
he leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms on his chest. "what would i tell her? i didn't tell her anything."
"oh. . . then what. . . are we?"
you heard him sigh. "y/n, why do you expect another answer? we're casual. i told you that at least a hundred times."
casual.
a perfect evening ruined by one fucking word.
you were so done with this.
"casual?" you repeated, turning around to face him. "i'm about to meet your fucking parents, draco. what the fuck do you mean that we're casual? do i mean nothing more to you than an occasional shag? why, draco, why?"
"i told you, i'm not ready for a relationship," he tried to reason.
"not ready for a relationship? you like ten girlfriends before me, how can you be not ready? at least tell the truth and say you don't want to be with me."
"oh merlin." he exhaled. "you know that's not true. why are you so bitter about it?"
"i'm meeting your parents," you repeated for the second time. "you take me out on dates, you buy me an expensive dress, you even talked about a future with me in it once but then you say it's casual and you wonder why i'm bitter?"
"but i told you countless times we're not together-"
"draco!" his mother's voice called again.
"we'll be there in a minute!" he yelled. his voice sounded a bit harsher than he intented it to be. "i tell you we're not together all the time and you always say it's fine. but i can tell it's obviously not. so why are you still hanging around?"
you nodded. "you know what? you're right. i tried hard to be the calm girl that holds her tongue and gives you space, but honestly? i'm not. and i'm exhausted of pretending to be in case you change your mind one day and tell me you wanna be with me." you began to pack your things.
"wait. don't." you stopped, hoping he'll say the right things. but the next words were a dissapointment. "what do i tell my parents?"
you shrugged. "say what you tell to your friends. it's casual. so there's really no point in meeting them." you walked past him with a sweet fake smile and before he could say anything, you were out of sight.
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