#after learning this today i realised that yes i AM angry still. and hurt. and i let that become bitterness at times | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wizkiddx · 3 years ago

Text

your voice

angsty vibe, requested by @hollandlover19 than you for th rq and hop this doesn't disappoint too much :)))

summary: tom says something so stupid and has to deal with the consquences

warnings: a bit angsty, but ends in fluff! argumnts and raising voices, I guess could be associated with panic attacks tho not written with that intention

//////////////////////////////////

“Oh, Y/n er sorry.” Harrisons morning dulcet tones were what you were awoken to with a groan.

Everything was achy, and your head was pounding, making you grumble in discontent as you shifted uncomfortably on the technically too-small-to-sleep-on sofa.

This was not the morning you’d foreseen even 12 hours ago.

Lockdown had been difficult for everyone, even removing the tragic health crisis. Being locked in with your boyfriend and his brothers and friends was, for the most part, amazing. Lots of laughs, lots of beers and lots of quality time that you usually didn’t get. But it was also intense.

Without a doubt, since you first got together, this was the longest time you’d ever had with Tom. And it had been brilliant, your relationship getting so much closer and just learning the subtlest intricacies about the other. In fact, when lockdown had been announced, you’d never lived together (the most a week-long holiday).

Though it was also like a pressure cooker, Toms rented house. When one of you were in an understandable but stubborn lousy mood, it affected the whole house.

Yesterday night had been the perfect storm. The weather was unbelievably scorching; your work had announced that they had to let some staff go because of the financial implications of the pandemic; a ‘mole’ had released personal details of your relationship.

And it was like a pot on the stove; everything went from controllable to violently boiling over in a matter of minutes.

Honestly, you didn’t even know why you had started arguing - it was that pathetic. And yet you’d both said pretty horrible stuff - though it was Tom who had crossed the line. Frankly, the way he’d spoken to you was almost unforgivable.

You’d both known instantly too, all his anger at you had immediately evaporated when he’d realised what he had said. It took no time for him to become a grovelling apologetic mess, however even that- it was already too late.

It might sound feeble, but honestly, you’d run and locked yourself in the downstairs loo. You’d cried on the inside- whilst from the other side of the door, he had been begging and pleading with you.

After an hour though, Tom finally gave up - hence why you’d had a pretty uncomfortable night on the sofa.

This brings it back to Harrison, the early riser of the house, barrelling into the living room after his morning run. All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, except also slightly terrified looking as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

“I’m up now” You sighed, dragging yourself into a sitting position on the sofa whilst massaging your crooked neck.

“You er…. you fell asleep watching the TV?” Rolling your eyes, you sighed at the blonde, even if his poor acting was a little entertaining.

“Are we both pretending that you don’t know what went down last night?” Of course, Harrison knew. The walls were thin, you’d been screaming and he was Tom’s best friend. No doubt, Tom had immediately gone to him for help and advice last night.

Harrison held his hands up in response, caught in the act, and clicked his tongue. “What he said was bad. You shouldn’t be the one ending up with the sore back.” He wasn’t wrong.

“And yet here I am…” With a sigh you smiled which he returned with a sickeningly empathetic one “Anyway, don’t let my sad self get in the way, did you come in here for anything?”

Now, because Harrison was mentally a five year old, that’s how you ended up sat crossed-legged on the floor, clutching a wii remote and angrily shouting at yoshi on the mariokart screen. The whole household was competitive as hell and you were no exception - so some rouge elbows were flying when he viciously knocked you off the track.

Slowly Harry and Tuwaine filtered in and picked up remotes too, so the quiet morning was very quickly switched into a tense atmosphere of yelps and shouts. None more so than Tuwaine, who was possibly the worst looser you had ever met.

Really, you knew all the boys were only doing this as there way of showing you they were with you. That they also thought Tom was a massive raging dickhead. And you appreciated it more than they would ever know. Locked down in Toms house, very much not mutual ground, having three stupid boys behind you meant everything.

Just as you got on to the 18th and final race of the house’s mario grand prix, another voice cut across the tense silence as you waited for the coutdown to turn into ‘go’. Naturally, you flipped round to see Tom, looking as though he literally just rolled out of bed with puffy eyes and messy hair and no top. The sight made your heart flutter, to the point you had to consciously check yourself - refusing to smile softly at him like you usually would, instead narrowing your eyebrows and looking back at the TV.

Tom had so desperately hoped that when he came down this morning, everything would be better. That all it’d take would be a quiet conversation for the two of you to make up - for him to have you in his arms again. Primarily as he had heard your excited laugh echoing through the halls in reactions to Tuwaines yelps of protests - it made him hopeful. Waking up to a cold and empty bed was almost soul-crushing this morning. He did not want it to ever happen again.

Which is why his heart sank so much when all you gave him was a scolding look, before turning your attention to the TV. Admittedly, he was naive to think that what he’d done last night would be an easy fix - he knew it too. So with dropping shoulders, Tom silently took a seat on the sofa, watching from afar. You spent the rest of the race more absent, not joining in with the Harrison or Harrys trash-talking, acutely aware of Tom’s eyes burning the back of your head.

Then came Harry’s celebrations as the overall winner (only just) and when Harrison suggested another game Tom piped up again.

“Give me a turn Harry.”

The three boys kneeling next to you all stiffened, looking immediately to you for what seemed like consent - as if they were engaging with the enemy. (At least it was good to know everyone was on your side).

“I’m gonna go prepare for my meeting anyway.” You spoke quietly, already placing the remote on the floor and standing up.

“Y/n I don’t mind swappin-“

“No. Thanks, H but no.” You weren’t being selfless and giving Tom a turn. You were running away from seeing him.

And Harrison was still really angry at Tom. He’d been so selfish and insensitive and had hurt you- someone who Haz also cared a lot about too. Yes Tom was his bestmate, that he’d grown up with and known for years - but Haz really liked you too, in fact all the boys did. So they were almost as pissed with Tom as you were.

So while you threw the cushion you were sat on back on the floor, Harrison shot Tom the filthiest look and practically shooed him away.

“come on Y/n … just one more? Then you can do your boring work.” You were about to refuse when Haz tilted his head toward the door, only then noticing that Tom had slipped out the room. Now that he was gone ,yes, just one more wouldn’t hurt. The meeting prep wasn’t time pressured; it was an excuse for an escape.

Tuwaine whooped a little when you nodded, planting back down and ready for the first race. Yet apart from that, the room was still a little awkward, you being the first to break the silence.

“Actually Haz, would you mind giving me a lift today?”

“What to the shops?

“Um no not quite.” Tuwaine laughed in his usual innocent and infectious style before asking more.

“Seriously? You know we’re locked down? Boris won’t be happy if you going mad and leaving the house.”

“Just to Y/f/n’s. She lives on her own so it’s legal.”

“She lives just down the road right? Can’t you walk?” Harry was confused, making him look away from the screen, ultimately leading to his ‘diddykong’ falling off the track.

“I’ll have my bags. I um… I think I’m going to stay with her till lockdown eases more.”

As soon as you said that, Harry pressed pause on the race, all three boys looking at you mouth-opened.

“For real?”

“Yeh I um… think me and Tom need some time apart and being locked in isn’t helping.”

“I’m not saying to forgive and forget what he said… but he is really sorry.”

“The twats literally kicking himself.” Tuwaine added, making you smile a little for calling Tom that.

“I know just… I need some space and-“

“Are you breaking up?” Harry almost announced, cutting you off. He would miss you too.

“No! Nono I … well I don’t know. I just- we both need this.”

The boys all nodded, looking at the floor for a moment before Harrison’s blue eyes were back on you.

“Course I’ll drive, but… but I’ll miss you.”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You’d left merely an hour later, whilst Tom was holed up in the garden doing what looked like an almost unbearable work out. It meant he was also out your hair and you could throw all your stuff into two suitcases without him being any the wiser. It was probably pretty cowardly to leave without speaking to him, but you couldn’t. It would hurt too much and you didn’t want to break down in front of him. No doubt as soon as you had got to Y/f/n you did - into a blubbering mess of tears - but Tom hadn’t seen so it was okay.

Speaking of. Tom.

Tom was not in a good way at all. He’d been trying really hard to curb his’ short fuse’ lately- all of which had been well and truly blown in the past 4 hours. After finally being realised from meetings, which he’d not been able to concentrate on anyway, Tom had mentally prepared himself for a lot of grovelling. Once he’d vaguely hunted the house and not found you there, he naturally asked Harry and Tuwaine (both of whom were in the living room) if they’d seen you around.

It was a typical question, the answer he was expecting was that you’d just gone on your daily walk. And yet the response he got was… well a lot more confusing. Harry’s eyes widened whilst T did his awkward-uncomfortable chuckle, the two locked in an intense bout of eye contact. It was as though they were arguing with each, but through the powers of telekinesis... and it put Tom on edge. He was already stressed because you were so angry with him, so not getting a clear answer out of his brother and best mate - lets just say it tested his patience.

“You two need to tell me what the hell is going on right now.”

The two boys both looked panicked to speak to him, which was the opposite of the usual situation. They were some of the ONLY people in his life that would just say it how it is, no sugar coating. Like if he was away and being ‘famous’ was getting to his head; or if he wore the wrong pair of jeans. Even yesterday evenings events, they’d both called him out on what he’d said to you.

So why the silence?

Eventually, it was Harry who spoke up, but in doing so, practically just waved all responsibility on to another innocent party.

“Ask Haz.”

And then Tom knew. He knew this was bad. Immediately his heart was pumping at an alarmingly fast rate, taking the stairs two at a time and not bothering to knock before bursting the door open.

“Where’s Y/n?”

Harrison was reclined back on his haphazardly made bed, laptop balanced on his lap as he looked up with a sigh. He’d known this conversation was coming, but it didn’t make it any less easy. With a sigh, Haz closed the lid of his MacBook and sat up on the bed.

“Tom just-“

“Where. Is. She.”

“She’s gone to Y/f/n’s.”

“Oh… okay.” Suddenly Tom’s voice was muted, thinking he might’ve blown his top at nothing. This wasn’t weird - Y/f/n was in your support bubble and you went to hers often.

Tom was grossly underestimating the situation - and Harrison heard didn’t fancy stringing him along though.

“No like gone. She um… she took all her stuff. I think she’s going to stay there till-“

Tom was already out his room at that point, slamming the door as he did so. Making a beeline for his own room, Tom then frantically started to pull out the draws and rummage around the shelves, confirming what he already knew. Your clothes were gone, your toothbrush and toiletries were gone, you were gone.

It’s important to note Tom didn’t really cry all that much. Or if he did - it was more inconsequential, at a sad movie or one of the rescue dog stories from battersea. Actually, when it came down to it, he didn’t really cry.

Now though, it was impossible to ignore the burning of his eyes, as he sank down onto the bed that now felt twice the size. With ragged breath, he repeatedly fisted his eyes, not actually letting the tears fall - but it was impossible to not acknowledge their presence. Harrison stood wordlessly at the door frame, knowing it best not to interrupt - whilst at the same time knowing Tom shouldn’t be left alone. There was a delicate balance between the two, which he was walking on a knife-edge on right now.

After a short while, Tom looked up with red eyes and nodded at Harrison, effectively granting him entrance. With a sigh once again, Haz moved and sat next to Tom on the bed, clasping his hands together nervously.

“She said you both just needed a break from each other. Think lockdown and everything was just a bit too intense.” Haz had tried to explain, yet it seemed Tom had only managed to lock onto one of the first words.

“A break? Or breaking up?”

“I uhm… she didn’t explicitly say ending things. But I just… I don’t know to be honest mate.”

“You see the way she looked at me this morning? Like she hated me. Wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was there.”

“I don’t know what to say… she needs time and space I think.” Tom was silent for a beat, shaking his head as he cradled his forehead.

“I hate the fact you and my girlfriend are on better terms than I am.” Anddd his voice was back to scathing.

“I’m not on anyones side. But your both my friends and she… she needed some time.”

With that, Harrison made a quick exit out, getting Harry to take over the Tom supervision.

Ever since the atmosphere in the house had been tense. To say Tom was highly strung was an understatement, particularly towards Harrison. Deep down he was thankful Haz was looking out for Y/n: he was glad that Haz was checking she was okay. It’s not like Tom could, because Y/n was refusing to answer his calls, texts, whatsapps, even the slip of paper he’d slipped under Y/f/n’s door in the middle of an especially dark night.

So it was good to know Y/n was okay, but the fact she was going on socially distanced walks with the rest of his housemates was rubbing salt in the wound.

After a week and a half of complete radio silence on your end Tom had utterly worn down. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to be angry anymore, he was just tired. Tired of missing you with every breath, tired of the ten-tonne weight of guilt pressing on his chest, fucking exhausted with being angry at Haz and Harry and Tuwaine.

The best thing in his life and one of the very limited opportunities was quality time with the people he loved more than anything else. He had ruined it all.

And it was the small things. It was waking up to your soft, whispered voice in the morning; it was your infectious giggle when he surprised you with a hug from behind and gentle kisses to your neck; it was your quiet singing in the shower. Especially when he knew Haz, Harry and Tuwaine were all still seeing you and laughing with you. It hurt like hell.

Which is how he ended up hesitantly knocking on Harrison’s bedroom door at half eleven at night, with his tail between his legs. Having been so uber-healthy all lockdown, Haz was already in bed following his sleep cycle, though for Tom right now- he would be awake.

“I’m um… I’m sorry I’ve been a knob. There’s no excuse of anything I’ve just… I’ve been a knob.”

“You’re not wrong.” Harrison nodded in agreement with a sly smile, motioning for Tom to come into the room, after which he perched on the edge of the bed.

“I just… I need to speak to her but I… I don’t want to push her if she’s still hurting and I…”

“You absolutely promise not to blow your fuse? Because she couldn’t handle that.” Tom’s eyes widened, thinking this would be a much harder pitch than how it seemed to be going.

“Yesyesyes i- I promise. I just, I feel broken you know? Even if all I get is the time to say sorry, I-I really need to.”

Harrison released a deep breath, nodding slowly before throwing the covers off himself. Tom watched all his movements with a curious gaze, silently sitting as Haz pulled on a hoodie, then socks too.

“Well? Let’s go.”

//////////////////

Now, what Tom had not in the slightest bit been prepared for was this to happen tonight. Really, he hadn’t even thought Harrison would agree to let him talk to you… and even if he had, Tom not in hell thought it’d be at 11:30 that evening.

His heart was thundering in his chest, trying to hurriedly script how on earth he was going to apologise meaningfully to you - as him and Haz walked the short distance to your friends house. Honestly the whole situation was peculiar to Tom - finding it hard to believe that if you weren’t to answer his texts you wouldn’t be open to an in person conversation.

What Tom didn’t know, was how you’d been texting Haz at a similar point of desperation. You weren’t happy and even given everything Tom had said and acted - you missed your boy. No matter how infuriating he could be when trapped 24/7 - you’d quickly learnt this was the only way you wanted to spend these weird times.

So yes, Tom’s best friend knew you were hardly sleeping either, but needed that little push to interact with you boyfriend. No doubt, you’d still be awake to answer the door.

Once he’d arrived at the apartment block and walked up the stairs to the right floor, it still took some prodding and pushing from Harrison to get Tom to knock on the door. Plainly, because he was shitting himself. Haz hadn’t given him enough pre warning, enough time to work it all out in his head. So it took another encouraging nod from Harrison for him to knock on the slightly rough-round-the-edges flat door.

Y/f/n was single and young, starting her career in Kingston - so the flat she could afford was modest at best. When it was just occupied by a single person, that was manageable - two was a push. You’d only been living with her for a week and a few days but it was enough to know this flat was not ideal for two people in lockdown. You were already stepping on each others toes. It also wasn’t technically legal to move households but Y/f/n had always been in your support bubble as a single household otherwise. And so there was also a layer of guilt to it all.

Naturally then, sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t Tom meant you just were not sleeping. Even if you had both gone to bed early (just to kill some hours in the day) you were still wide awake at quarter to twelve - when a timid knock echoed through the minuscule apartment. Curiosity peaked at who the hell would be calling now; you silently slipped out of bed, managing to not disturb Y/f/n, and closed the bedroom door.

Now you weren’t an idiot. Even though this was southwest london, hardly the capital for crime, Y/f/n lived in a dodgy building with some questionable characters. And it was midnight. Hence why you approached the situation cautiously, tiptoeing to the door and waiting with your ear pressed against the wood.

“I told you she wouldn’t answer!”

“She will! Might just be in the loo or something.”

“Haz this is stupid-“

The air in your chest froze when you immediately recognised the smooth tone of his voice. It was him… and you’d missed that so much. Already there were tears in your eyes and you couldn’t open the door just yet. So no, instead you slid down the doorframe before calling quietly out into the night.

“Tom?”

The bickering on the otherside of the door was silenced, but you heard a quite tap on the door... and could envision exactly what was going on. Tom, pressing both palms and his ear to the door, as Harrison took a few steps back - sensing his work was done.

“Y/n? You there?” He sounded desperate, you could hear the emotion dripping off his voice. It was only when you tried to reply did you realise your own voice was having a harder time speaking.

“Yeh its-its me.” It felt as though this heavyweight that had been pressing down on your chest was slowly lifting, making your voice all cracky and low.

In response, there was a short and sharp exhale. It sounded relieved before some fidgeting as you imagined him crouching down beside the door - mirroring your image.

“Fuck, it… it feels so good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too… I’ve-i’ve missed you.”

Tom snorted at that, a gentle bang allowing you to realise he’d just whacked his head on the back of the wood.

“You have no idea how this week felt.” He was wrong though, you did.

Yes, maybe without the insurmountable guilt that Tom was rightfully feeling, but it didn’t mean that the time apart wasn’t easy.

“I do. This hasn’t been a nice holiday for me you know?”

He sighed, knowing that yet again he’d said the wrong thing. This time though, he didn’t rebut instantly (which surprised you), instead his response was more measured and calculated.

“I am so sorry. And of course, I know because I was the one that hurt you too. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that.” You nodded but given this conversation was happening through a door Tom didn’t see your gentle agreement - opting to fill the silence.

“I um… I’m not good at this whole um… speaking my feelings. But I’ve hated myself ever since I picked that fight with you. It was stupid and uh it-it was all my fault. I’m so so sorry for hurting you.”

“‘Why?” You tried to ask, except the words were stuck in your throat, making you have to clear it before asking again. “Why did you say it?”

“To get a rise out of you. It’s stupid and petty and fucking-fucking dumb. I said it not because I’ve ever thought it, I never ever have, but I knew it’d hurt you. I was preying on your insecurities because I was angry at the world and that was so unfair. “

“No shit.”

Silence reigned as you fiddled with your fingers - specifically with the promise ring he’d bought you a year ago.

“You-you think you could ever forgive me?”

“Thats the annoying part. I want to hate you because you literally stabbed me then twisted the knife but… but all I’ve done this week is miss you. Even when I saw Haz or Harry or Tuwaine. I just fucking missed you.”

“Can you open the door please love?”

Clumsily you scrubbed the tear tracks off your face, scrabbling to your feet so you could thrust open the doors. Because you might still be bloody pissed at him, but at the same time - you needed your Tom. Thrusting the door open, the first thing you registered was being pressed into Tom’s chest. His arms slinked around your waist and held him tight, which you reciprocated, squeezing tightly round his neck. Your senses were all being assaulted by one thing and one thing only. Tom.

He smelt like usual, except maybe the slightest bit stronger than usual - you figured he hadn’t showered in a day or two or bothered with cologne. The top of your forehead was pressed up against his chin, and as he readjusted his grip on you, you felt the scratchy feeling of his unshaven stubble. He kept whispering apologies against the top of your head, almost desperate and religiously.

Arching back, you brought both hands to cup his cheeks, looking into his glassy brown. eyes, which looked so lost and confused.

“I’m still angry.”

“Of course-“

“I’m still angry but I’m going to kiss you okay?”

Safe to say Tom didn’t require a verbal response, taking it upon himself to nudge his lips against yours, yet waiting for you to initiate the kiss. And that you did, everything else about this godforsaken week and a half. His index finger traced the angle of your jaw, whilst he held your lower back tight, pressing himself as close as physically possible to you. Needing you.

Eventually arching back, your thumb ran over his deep and sunken under-eyes, which added so much age to his face.

“You look tired Tommy.”

“Can’t sleep without you telling me goodnight.” That was another tradition you had had. Even when he was away, you’d even set an alarm for whatever bedtime was for the other across the world. Just so you could send a little message or voice not saying goodnight. Was it cringey? Yes. Did either of you care? No.

But since you’d been away all the evening wishes were absent from you. Which hurt Tom more than you may ever know.

“I know you’re still angry but will you please come home to me? I need you to be the last thing I hear at night and the first thing in the morning.”

would love to hear any feedback <333 (but think this is a bit of a shitter so im sorry!!!)

tagging: @lovehollandy12 @pandaxnienke @thegirlwiththeimpala @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @hollandlover19 @hunnybunimdun @crossyourpeter @thefernandasantana@hallecarey1

#tom holland x you #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tomholland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #harry holland

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diedbutterflies69 · 3 years ago

Text

Cars- Bang Chan imagine

Contains: explicit sexual contact, chan as hot rich hotel owner, car sex, slight degradation, blowjob, fingering, etc

Minors don't interct.

Working in one of the most expensive hotels in the country was something you never expected. You were just a normal student who was struggling to meet deadlines and pay for tuitions and so doing many part time jobs. A law student washing dishes in random restaurant and drooling over food, observing the way those chefs used to work with wok , deep fried food, the process fascinated you so much. Even though you were familiar with cooking since a young age it was rather more like responsibility, a chore. And that's how you learned cooking by slowly observing the chefs and utube videos, as changing the entire career dreams at the last year was little too wild and impossible. But struggles eventually leads to happiness, the owner of one of the restaurant you used to work at got surprisingly close with you ,her name lucy a single divorced hot milf she thaught you many skills and tricks with cooking. Your last straw before quitting the law school was getting failed . And just like that a blessing in disguise. She noticed how dishearted you were and then decided to give you the greatest opportunity in your life.

Working in God's menu was every chef's dream, and Lucy made your dream come true. The owner and main chef of God's menu Bang Chan was close with Lucy and just by that using some connections you got yourself inside that paradise, but Chan was a total boomer with you, he didn't wanted to give you job at the first place as you lacked experience and knowledge but he valued friendships way too much to deny Lucy.

Chan was always hard on you, constantly making you work with him, teaching the mystery behind flavours, making you memorize foreign cuisine recipes, you sweared you didn't even struggled that much in law school as there was no one lecture you and expect from you. He acted all tough just to make you perfect and eventually became close, you fell in the pit of one sided love the moment Chan agreed to hire you. What you adored most about Chan was how he always made sure to not make you panic while being near fire, never told you to hurry while cutting vegetables. His this small gestures meant so much too you. And in span of 7 months that baby was finally your boyfriend. Chan was someone who followed his heart and just like that, he confessed in the most cheesiest way possible. And here you are today a great chef with lot of knowledge and a handsome, caring and loving boyfriend. 3 years of loving relationship.

"baby~~ " you said while hugging your boyfriend from the back who was too invested in making a 4 tower cake for his best friend's wedding even though he wasn't much experienced with baking whatever he tried doing was no less than perfection.

"yes, baby? Need anything?", Chan asked you. Even though you have been listening to his sweet honey voice since years it never failed to make your heart flutter.

"stop working now, it's 2:30 am let's go home now", you whined slightly tipping on toes and kissing Chan's neck. Getting a small hum from your boyfriend.

"just few more minutes babe", Chan said turning back and softly giving pecking your forehead . You huffed in response being too tired of your boyfriend's night owl tendencies, you went back to the table and singing a good night in most extra way possible. Chan just smiled at his girlfriend, he too wanted to go home and just cuddle with you but work was trash .

Finally looking at clock it was 3 :15 something, his work finally done. After cleaning up every thing,washing the dishes and shoving the massive cake into refrigerator carefully, Chan happily made his way to you. He too saying baby~ in most extra way possible, he was an true night owl no matter how much he worked at nights without you being by his side he wasn't able to fall asleep. A habit he picked up 3 years ago.

"get up, it's 5 am", Chan whispered into your ear while aggressively moving you to make you leave your dreamland.

"aggh, good morning the love of my life", you said slowly leaving your subconscious world. Even in slight unconscious mind you were flirty and cheesy.

"good morning, it's 5 A.M ", Chan again told you a wrong time just messing up with you.

"what the fuck", you yelled being angry on your boyfriend's crazy work habits , you were glaring at him till he bought his his wrist infront of your face . His watch reading 3 : 08 , being confused and worried for your wrong vision you looked at the wall clock that to read 3:07 am.finally realising you have been scammed.

" you fucking lier", you yelled at Chan for pranking you, but you were glad that he finished the work soon.

"heheh", Chan laughed, he was too cute for you.

"let's just go home", you said trying to keep a poker face, packing your stuff then gripping Chan's hand and walking out of the space.

Going down through the elevator, Chan unleashing his 50 shades enthusiast.

"What is it about elevators?" Saying this and immediately pulling you into a deep kiss, he tasted like chocolate probably from the previous cake flavours, his tongue feeling so good while exploring your mouth, one hand at the back of your neck and the other interlocked with yours. His lips always felt like heaven.

He broke the kiss as the door opened, he adjusted your hair and outfit and locking his eyes with you giving you a warm smile, fully a contradiction to his previous action. This man's duality always suprised you.

"let's go baby~", Chan said getting out of elevator with you, hands interlocked moving back and forth, if someone saw you both they would probably think that you both are possessed, smiling and jumping like kids finally reached the car.

"let me open the door for you", Chan said with a smirk while opening the car door for you , there was not a single human present in the parking lot, creepy vibes but perfect for your both future activities. Chan entered the car and stared at you in the most innocent way possible.

"what?", You asked him giving him the same innocent eyes.

"babe, the kiss made me hard", Chan admitted almost shamelessly his eyes pointing at his pants , and yes it was a great hot site too notice.

"will you melt, till we reach home?", You asked Chan looking into his eyes hands slowly creeping to his thighs dangerously close to the not so safe zone.

"I would rather burst here than melt till we reach home", Chan said holding your hand bringing it straight over his memeber, you blushed deeply at his actions.

"Come on babe, we had done Car sex multiple times", Chan said making you blush and wet down there even more. You got a little too needy as the memories of Chan fucking you ruthlessly on the back site of the car came to your mind. Your hand still palming his cock through pants.

"hop on the backseat", you said almost breathlessly, Chan smirking at your needy , horny State. You both went on the backseat to make a great mess over there .

"aaah" , you moaned loudly as Chan slapped your left boob while sucking your neck. His teeth never failed at marking you all over, his touch was heaven especially whenever he squeezed the back of your neck or roughly groped those boobs. Detaching himself from your neck he gripped your neck in an erotically painful way and forcing you on your knees.

"Suck, use that mouth atleast one time for a good cause", Chan said , his degrading voice mixed with heavy lust. Nodding at his words , without wasting any time you bought your hands to undid his belt and zipper . Palming him through his boxers and finally releasing it from all restraints, you slowly put hs cock inside your mouth, he was really really hard. A fucking long and thick cock he had, you not being able to take him even half way as the position was slightly painful but nevertheless you started bopping your head up and down and palming the remaining with your hands. His loud groans and moans indicated that he was satisfied enough, you increased your speed, occassionally hollowing your cheeks to take him deeper every time. He gripped your head as he was close , he started to move your mouth as he pleased making you gag non stop, it hurted but you liked it so much. " You feel so fucking good, all mine", Chan said breathlessly after a final thrust and empting himself inside your mouth, his cum feeling your mouth in escasty. You sucked off every single drop not wasting anything.

Chan lifted you up from the car floor and made you sit on his lap. You looking fully fucked out, with clothes misplaced and mouth dripping with saliva and his liquid , black mascara tears running down.

"My precious slut", Chan said while making his way to your panties, your jeans were already removed a long ago.

"you want my fingers? Hmm?" Chan said as his fingers were slowly entering your pussy , his cold hands making you shiver .

"yes please sir" , you begged voice laced up with pure desperation and needily grinding on his fingers and thighs. Chan smirked again at you.

"what you want more, my fingers or my cock?" Chan made gave you 2 choices both of them heaven.

"your cock, sir please" You begged again. He finally smiles at you pure ill intention smile.

"Since you are too good girl, I should give you whatever you want", Chan said and finally bought his cock towards your tight leaking cunt slowly entering himself inside you.

"ride", Chan said and you felt like being on cloud nine. Slowly moving your hips up and down in decent speed . His cock fitted so well inside of you, it was pure bliss for you.

But without a warning Chan bought his hands towards your clit and pinching it making your whole body jolt in overstimulation.

" babe,you are too good, so deserve my fingers too", Chan said with a sadistic smile.

It's gonna be a long morning.

#skz smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #bangchan #bangchan smut #skz #skz chan x reader #chan smut

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onbeinganangel · 4 years ago

Text

warmup ficlet for @the-starryknight! she picked 'i know we’re not together but i might die today so i’m going to kiss you just in case there is no later' from this wee list of kisses and asked me to drarry it up and I rubbed my hands together in glee knowing fully well i was about to put together a hell of an angst sandwich

not beta'd, not edited, just angst with a happy ending directly from my heart to yours! (cw: some canon-style mentions of blood, violence, injury and also kind of patient/healer relationship)

damned if you do it and damned if you don’t

(draco/harry, 1.8k)

Draco had pictured it so often throughout his life he sometimes couldn’t honestly believe he had made it all the way to twenty-seven.

He remembers saying it after being thrown on his arse by the family Abraxan. He’d been very little, then. Five or six, maybe. He’d cried, big fat tears running down his face, and when his Mother finally managed to pull his tiny fists down and stop him from hiding his crying behind them, he’d announced, “Maman, I am dying.” She had assured him he very much wasn’t. They’d had scones with big heaped spoonfuls of clotted cream and raspberry jam in the garden and he’d soon forgotten about his fall.

A few years later, he fell off his broom and straight into the lake. Dobby had spelled him dry to avoid him getting in trouble and he was still heaving, coughing up water and panicking when he told the Elf, “Dobby, I am dying.”

Then there was the incident at Hogwarts. He still felt the sharp talons on his skin way after the hippogriff was far, far away, as he bled, holding onto the gashes on his arm and announced to the whole class, “I am dying, it’s killed me!”

Between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, it was more constant. It was the heavy burn of the Mark settling on his arm, it was the feeling of all his organs lighting up in pain and his bones breaking under Crucio after Crucio, it was the sounds of Nagini slithering outside his bedroom door at night, the sickening thud of death, the unsettling screaming, his aunt’s shrill nails-on-chalkboard voice, Greyback’s growls. A neverending chant of “I am dying, I am dying, I am dying, I am dying” inside his head.

It was confiding in a ghost, it was crying because the fear of failure was so intense he reckons he would have preferred to be dead then, it was the only person he believed was actually kind and pure and incapable of willingly inflicting pain on anyone slashing him open and leaving him for dead on a bathroom floor. Draco had looked at Snape, murmuring spell after spell over him, and he’d whispered, “I am dying.”

It was learning how to be numb, how to not feel, how to keep everyone out of his mind and away from his thoughts, it was the paralysing terror of crawling around in the shadows, the bone-deep dread of dropping leftover bread rolls on the floor by the bars on the dungeon and kicking them swiftly into the other side, where they kept his classmates. It was sneaking a blanket or two down and saying to himself, “If they find out…”

It was the persistent horror of knowing you don’t believe in what you’re doing and knowing you’re damned if you do it and damned if you don’t. Between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, Draco would lie in his bed at night — his own at home, his own in the dorms, Pansy’s in the girls’ dorms when it got bad, and he would say it to himself, hoping it would become true, “I am dying.”

But he hadn’t. Despite all odds, Draco is happy. Twenty-seven. He’s got friends, a flat, a job he loves and he’s good at. He’s no longer spat at on the streets. He survived, he made amends, he managed it all. Most of all, he had managed not to die.

Until now, that is. This time he’s pretty certain he won’t be afforded such luck. He feels the curse hit him square on the chest. It’s his own fault, really, for not realising there was someone already in the room he entered. He’d been too busy throwing a rather flourished Incarcerous across the room at the two potions dealers he’d been running after for the past five minutes to notice the third man.

Draco is falling backwards before he has time to even think about anything, his wand clanking noisily seconds before he joins it on the floor.

Then: “Incarcerous.” He hears it — muffled but there. And after, “Fuck, Draco.”

He’s way too familiar with the way his Auror partner works not to know it’s him when the strong arms wrap around him and pull him up. “Oh, Merlin,” he hears. His eyes flutter back open for a couple of seconds and he can tell he was right, even if it’s all blurry: red robes, orange hair, worried blue eyes.

Fear. “I am dying,” he thinks. “Harry,” he says.

“You’re gonna see Harry alright,” Ron says. “He’s gonna have words about having to heal you again,” it’s almost like a joke. Like a Ronald-typical joke. But there’s an edge of worry there. There’s panic. Ronald doesn’t panic.

And it dawns on him. Draco tries to look down but it’s all red. The burgundy of his robes, the sticky dark red of drying blood on his hands and the fresh and vivid blood still pouring out of his chest. He’s not gonna make it to St. Mungo’s, he’s never going to make it to Harry.

“I am dying,” he says, and Ron makes a noise that can only be described as half agony, half agreement.

It smells like St. Mungo’s when he wakes up thinking “I am dying.” Very faintly, he hears the same voice he always hears in his dreams. Maybe he is dead. The voice never sounds like this in his dreams, though: disembodied, frantic, quick. Draco catches half words, half sentences, half conversations that don’t make sense. A different voice is saying “just do it” and “you’re powerful enough” and “sod protocol” and “I am his partner, I brought him here.” The voice from his dreams responds with things like “unstable” and “I don’t know” and “can you please try” and a “I can’t get in touch with her” and “not without consent forms” and a louder, angry “he’s not going to d—“

Draco tries to move towards the voice.

“Draco!” Says the first voice and three pairs of feet come towards him.

“Don’t try to open your eyes, don’t try to talk, don’t try to move, okay? We have stopped the bleeding for now, but we’re still trying to reverse the curse.”

“Harry.” His Harry.

“Yes, hello. We have got to stop meeting like this.”

“I am dying,” Draco croaks out.

“I won’t let you.”

Draco wants to speak. He wants to say “I am dying, I don’t want to die without telling you,” but he has no strength. His thoughts are going faster than the newest Firebolt as he hears Harry tell whoever else is in the room (Ron?) to leave. He wonders if this is it. This what they show you in the films: your life flashing before your eyes right before you die. He thinks of Harry shaking his hand after his Auror graduation ceremony. “Well done, Malfoy,” he’d said. He thinks of that first time he’d been invited over to Ron and Hermione’s, a few weeks after he became Ron’s partner, and Harry had laughed at his stories, lips wine-red and plump, eyes kind like he’d never expected. He thinks of every moment of almost in between them, every moment where Draco considered blurting it out, saying what was on his mind. The Christmas Gala as he towered over Harry and fixed the little chain on his robes for him, and that night at that dingy club for Hermione’s birthday where they’d stared at each other for forty minutes and when Draco had decided he couldn’t take it anymore, he found out that Harry had left. Or just last month when they’d gone out to buy a housewarming present for Luna and ended up eating leftovers on Harry’s sofa, exhausted from people and walking. There are too many. Too many instances of hesitation, too many “nearly-but-not-quites.”

And he’ll die and won’t ever get the chance to tell him, to kiss his handsome, stupid, precious face, and it aches — it hurts almost as much as that spot just to the left of his breastbone where the Curse had hit, where he was profusely bleeding not long ago.

“Closer,” he manages, very quietly.

Harry approaches, but not close enough, not even close enough for Draco to grab at him.

“Cl— clos—uh—closer,” he tries again.

And Harry’s right there, by his bed and he looks beautiful in his Healer robes (unheard of, really) and Draco is blinking his view into a sharper focus and listing all the things he knows he loves, the things he doesn’t want to forget: the white-ish storm of a scar that slashes through Harry’s eyebrow, the shiny (shinier than usual?) green eyes, the touch of stubble, the slightly crooked nose, the lips — oh, the lips, plump and sweet looking and Draco will never get to find out just how sweet. And then, he has to do it. Because if he’s going to die anyway, he may as well use his last breath on this.

He pushes himself off the pillow slightly and his hand pulls Harry’s green robes closer until their lips meet, clumsily and hard — Harry not expecting it, Draco waning from the efforts of pulling Harry closer, but Draco will die knowing he’s kissed Harry. And if there’s no later, at least he’s done it. At least Harry knows.

“Stop. You’ll hurt yourself,” Harry says, and pushes him back down. Gently, like everything he does.

“But—“

“I know, darling. Me too.”

Darling? Harry… too?

“I’m going to heal you, okay? I’m going to heal you and we’ll do that again. I’ll take you to dinner, or brunch, I know you like brunch. Or just coffee. We’ll go to the pictures. I’ll hold your hand. We’ll go flying. We’ll go clubbing and I’ll dance with you, I promise I will, and I’ll let you tell me how bad I am. I’ll find you a copy of that book you were talking about with Hermione, no matter how much it costs. I’ll throw my name around if I have to, okay? And we’re going to do that again, properly. When I’m not your healer and you’re not hurting. I’m going to heal you now, you just—“ he stops, then, breathing wild and panicked.

Then, a small sob. A kiss to his forehead. Draco doesn’t remember closing his eyes.

“You just hold on, yeah? Don’t go anywhere.”

And Draco would cry if he had the strength, he would say yes to all those plans and more, but he focuses on the feeling of Harry’s magic sinking into his body like and he holds on, just like he was told to. He holds on, even if he doesn’t know exactly to what. And he thinks maybe he’ll get lucky again, and he’ll stop picturing himself dead like he’s been doing his whole life. Harry’s magic feels like love, like poetry, like cascading words of affection whispered into the space between his ribs, it feels like hope. And Draco holds on and thinks to himself, as loud as a thought can go, “I am not dying.”

#i may actual edit this and pop it on ao3?#i kind of like it?#thank you starry baby for this delicious prompt #warmup ficlets #drarry #m writes #angst with a happy ending #cw blood #cw injury #cw violence

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leossmoonn · 4 years ago

Text

Unexpected Love [Kai Parker] || Part One

masterlist

pairing - kai parker x fem, human!reader

type - fluff, angst

note / request - this request is by @mrs-parker-1972 “The reader is on the other side with the others, and gets trapped there with bonnie and damon, or you can just skip to part when all three of them are in the prison world. So i am not really sure on how the reader meets kai, but you can improvise that part, I trust you. And then well, um, the reader and kai will hate each other and despise each other (damon and bonnie are in the real time world I guess?) And then kai does something human for the reader (you know, coz he doesn't have feelings) and it wakes something in him and the reader and kai grow close to each other, and I really don't know what else, but like can you, make their time in the prison world longer?? (Kai and the reader's) . And please it would be hilarious if you could add some comedic lines if damon, coz you know, damon is damon. And it would be AWESOME if you added the deleted scene of kai Parker where he is really emotional, and he says that after the reader touches a really soft spot about his child hood. And please make the reader human.”

note - so i was planning on just rewatching the 6th season and copying scenes but i discovered it would take so long lol, so i split this into a 4 parts. i also didn’t really copy anything from the show, just the scene at the end. so most of this is just my writing. part two is at the end and word count is 7k+

summary - you and kai fall in love over a period of time after spending time with each other in the prison world

warnings / includes - language, alcohol, crying, fighting,

————

*gif isn't mine*

“Maybe if you didn’t take so long to look for Alaric, we would still be alive!” I exclaimed.

“Hey, you’re the one who insisted that you have a whole conversation with Lexi about the last few years,” Damon spat.

“Yeah, but we were both already with Bonnie. You were miles away!”

“You two stop it!” Bonnie shouted, putting her hands up in-between Damon and I.

“No, Damon needs to know that this is his fault,” I glared.

“Oh, hardly. Why were you even there, again?” Damon asked.

“Because you twisted my neck, jackass. Which thank you, by the way,” you smiled sourly.

“Man, I wish you weren’t wearing that ring. You being dead right now would really-”

“Damon!” Bonnie yelled again. “I’m serious. You two need to stop. You’re giving me a headache.”

“Not my fault,” I mumbled, looking down at the road.

“Liar,” Damon said not-so-quietly.

“Before you two start again, let me remind you that I’m scared and mad, too. We can’t just fight the whole time, though. We need to see if we can get out. You two have been fighting about this for months, so stop,” Bonnie said.

“We’re dead, Bon-Bon. We can’t get out,” Damon said.

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away from them. I couldn’t stand Damon.

“Where are you going?” Damon exclaimed.

“To look for a way out, and to get away from you!” I yelled without looking back.

“See? She’s useless,” Damon muttered behind my back.

I let out a long, distressed sigh. “I’m going back home.”

“Same. I need some food,” Bonnie said, catching up with me.

We walked for miles until we got to Damon’s house. I was sweating and panting by the time we got there. We had no cars so it was a good 5 mile walk.

“Need any water?” Damon asked as we walked inside his house.

“Yes, please,” I breathed out.

I trudged over to the couch, flopping down and taking my sneakers off. Damon came back over with a big class of cold water. I smiled at him gratefully, standing up to take it. Damon had other ideas, though. He lifted the glass up to the top of his head, making it hard for me to grab it.

“Oh, c’mon. You’re such a dick!” I whined, jumping up. My fingertips skimmed the bottom the glass, but I still was just a little too short to grab it.

“Say that magic words,” Damon smirked.

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you, oh great wise one.”

Damon smiled happily, setting the glass down on the table.

“Jerk,” I muttered, taking a long sip of the water.

“You love me!” Damon sang. “Nope,” I shook my head.

“Hey, we need to get more food,” Bonnie stated from the kitchen.

“Then go and get it, Bon-Bon,” Damon muttered.

“I was just about to, Damon,” Bonnie spat.

“Maybe you can go and learn magic again, too,” Damon snickered.

I turned my head to him. glaring. “Wow, you are just full of shit today. Huh, Damon?”

Damon rolled his eyes at my insult. “Yeah, well, I don’t want to be stuck here. I want to see Elena.”

“And you will! Who knows, maybe I’ll get my magic back. While I’m out I’ll go and practice magic,” Bonnie shrugged off Damon’s insult.

“Good idea. I’ll go with you,” I smiled, standing up and slipping back on my shoes.

“With all do respect Bonnie, you haven’t been able to do magic ever since you became the anchor. What makes you think you can do it now?” Damon asked.

“Just have faith, Damon. She can do it. I know it,” I smiled at Bonnie, who smiled gratefully back at me.

“Fine. But are you guys gonna leave me all alone?” Damon whined.

“Yep,” I nodded, walking over to the door.

“Who’s the rude one now?” Damon challenged. I put a finger up to my chin and hummed, pretending that I was thinking hard. I then put on a charming smile.

“Still you. Ready Bonnie?” I turned to the girl next to me who was putting on a jacket.

“Yep. See you later, Damon,” Bonnie smiled and waved.

“See you,” I nodded.

Damon waved goodbye as we shut the door behind us. I walked with Bonnie until we split off. She went to her grandmother’s house, while I went to the little supermarket a few miles out.

Walking there was a pain in the ass. I had my car keys with me, but I couldn’t seem to find my car. Even though this place had everything else; Damon’s house, my house, Bonnie’s grandmother’s house. Even Elena’s house. Just not my car, which pissed me off, but I knew I couldn’t start to get mad again. Getting angry and upset wouldn’t help us get out of here.

I walked up to the supermarket and entered the market, expecting someone to be at the register, but no one was there. I laughed at myself for expecting someone. Every time I’ve gone out, I’ve always expected to see people. But I remind myself that I’m dead. Of course no one would be here. We were all alone. Those cars outside were just there because this was just a very real, very confusing after-life.

I grabbed a shopping cart and started getting the stuff we needed. Eggs, milk, fruit, vegetables, bread. I then got some soda and water bottle cases, some bags of chips and sweets. I went over to the frozen food section and got a few microwavable dinners and some ingredients to make food like chilli and tacos. I went around the store once more, making sure I got everything we needed. I passed one shelf, stopping once I realised that something was missing.

“I thought there were pork rinds here,” I muttered.

Merry-go-round music then started to play. I turned a full 360, trying to see if there was anybody in the store with me. No one was here. I went outside of the store, seeing the little merry-go-round spinning.

“That’s weird,” I mumbled.

I heard the sound of flapping and my head snapped to the sound. I saw someone pass by in a flash. Goosebumps sprung up on my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck raised. I got this uneasy feeling in my stomach as my mind went to disturbing thoughts.

“Hello?” I called out.

I walked further into the parking lot, hearing the noise again. I sighed as I realised it was probably just Damon pulling a prank on me.

“Very funny, Damon! You’ve freaked me out, good job. You can come out now!” I exclaimed, my eyes searching the open area.

The merry-go-round came to a stop and I let out a deep breath to try and calm myself down. Bonnie, Damon, and I were the only ones here. No one was going to hurt me… Right?

The merry-go-round music started up again suddenly. I jumped in surprise and fear, doing another 360.

“Must be on a timer,” I muttered.

“False,” an unfamiliar, matter-of-fact voice spoke behind me.

I froze in my spot, afraid to turn around as I knew that definitely wasn’t Damon.

“Don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you,” the voice said, getting closer to me.

The person appeared in front of me. I stiffened up more as the voice belonged to a man. A very attractive man, might I add. He had a big, teasing smile on his face. His blue eyes danced around my face, studying me as I studied him. He had brown hair that was combed up, wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, a green jacket and carrying a bag of pork rinds.

“Oh, you’re the one who stole the pork rinds. Who are you?” I asked. “I’m Kai,” the man held his free hand out.

My eyes flickered down to his arm and back up to his eyes. I put my hand out gingerly, slipping my hand into his slowly. I kept eye contact as we shook hands. My stomach did flips as we touched.

“Nice to meet you, Kai. I’m Y/n,” I offered him a friendly smile.

“Oh, I know,” Kai shrugged. I furrowed my brows, instinctively pulling my hand away from his.

“How?” I asked.

“I’ve been watching you and your friends for a while,” he admitted.

“Oh,” I said, my eyes wide in shock.

“Yep! It’s so nice to have friends now. Man, I have been really lonely,” he chuckled.

“We aren’t friends. And what do you mean you’ve been lonely. Are you dead, too? Have you been stuck here as long as us, too?” I asked.

Kai frowned, stepping closer to me. “Why all the questions? Don’t you want to get to know me?”

“Um,” I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, stepping back so there was distance between us.

“Am I making you uncomfortable? Sorry about that. It’s been a while since I’ve had face-to-face type human interaction,” he chuckled, looking down to the ground.

“No, it’s fine. Anyways, are you dead, too?” I repeated one of my burning questions.

“No! I am very much alive. Well, I think so. You can kiss me to find out, though,” he flirted.

I felt the tip of my ears grow warm as his suggestion. “No, thanks.”

“Oh! I’m doing it again. God, sorry. You are just so pretty and i get nervous when I’m around girls. Especially ones like you.”

I chuckled, my grip on the shopping cart tightening. “So, you said you have been lonely. For how long, exact?”

“Long time. I’m not sure. It’s 1994, though,” he explained.

My eyes bulged out of my head. “What?! It’s 1994?”

“Yep. There’s literally newspapers everywhere,” he snorted.

“Well, I haven’t really been observant, I guess. What are we doing in 1994?”

“We’re stuck!” He explained. “Oh, damn,” I muttered.

“Yeah, it sucks, but now you guys are here to keep me company!” He grinned.

I smiled politely at him, getting ready to turn around and go back home. “Right. Well, I gotta go. My friends are expecting me for dinner. Maybe you could uh… You could um, come to dinner?”

His eyes widened in surprise. I kept on my smile, shifting the weight in my feet.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah, why not! Um, chilli sound good?” I asked. “Perfect. I’ll bring drinks,” he suggested.

“Sounds great. Well, um, see you later?” I proposed, getting ready to turn around.

“Yep,” he smiled. “Great,” I chuckled, looking down shyly. I began to turn around, but Kai stopped me.

“Why don’t I drive you there? It’d be tedious of you to carry the cart all the way home, right?” Kai asked.

I turned back around, “Um… Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Are you sure, though?”

“Positive.”

My smiled widely, giggling a little. “Well, yeah, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Great. My car’s over here,” He said and pointed to a dark blue Chevy.

“Wow, this is a really cool car,” I said, wheeling the car to it. “Yeah, I know,” he smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I opened up the trunk and loaded the groceries in the car. I then walked over to the passenger seat and got in, buckling and waiting for Kai to get in the driver’s seat. We got to Damon’s place in 10 minutes. I was very thankful I had met him, even though he was a little bit of a weirdo. Kai parked in the entry way and he helped me take in the groceries.

“Hey, Damon! Is Bonnie home yet?” I called out.

“Yeah! I am,” Bonnie came out from the kitchen. Her smile faltered as he saw Kai standing next to me. “Who, uh, who is this?” “Oh!” I giggled. “This is Kai. We met at the supermarket.”

“Oh, really? Hi, Kai,” Damon narrowed his eyes at him.

“Hi, Damon!” Kai said cheerfully. “How the hell do you know my name?” Damon asked.

“Oh, he’s just uh… He’s just been observing us and stuff,” I explained.

“Hm, not creepy at all,” Damon muttered. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Kai. Are you joining us for dinner?” Bonnie asked.

“Yeah, I hope that’s okay,” Kai said. “Yeah! It’s fine, guys, right?” I asked.

“Sure,” Bonnie nodded.

“Great! I brought drinks, too,” he said, holding a bag filled with bourbon and whiskey.

“Great, but we already have some,” Damon said, gesturing to the liquor cabinets.

“Oh,” Kai frowned. “But it’s fine! We’ll drink your’s,” I said.

“Great,” Kai perked up again. “Let’s get dinner started, yeah?” I suggested, walking over to the kitchen.

Everyone nodded in agreement and helped with dinner. Kai mostly helped. Damon got bored in the middle and went to his room to do God know’s what, while Bonnie went to sit on the couch and watch 90′s classics.

“Thanks for helping with dinner,” I said. “No problem. You are an amazing cook,” Kai complimented.

“You haven’t even tasted the food,” I chuckled.

“Well, you seem to know the recipe and whatnot. And it smells amazing.”

“Well, thank you,” I smiled, turning and looked at him.

My eyes met his and a wave of butterflies washed over me. I looked into his mysterious blue eyes, getting lost in them quickly.

“Is dinner done yet?” Damon asked, interrupting the moment.

I jumped away from Kai in an instant, hanging my head low in embarrassment.

“Yeah,” I muttered, walking away and getting bowls out. I poured the chilli in each bowl, bringing them to the table with a glasses of Kai’s alcohol.

“Dig in.” I sprinkled cheese over my chilli.

“Let me take a sip of this bourbon first,” Damon said, holding the glass up skeptically. He brought the glass up to his lips, taking a slow and small sip. As soon as the bourbon touched his lips, he dropped the glass on the floor and his hand flew to his throat.

“Oh, my God. Damon, are you okay?” I jumped up from my seat, running over to him.

“V-Vervain,” Damon gasped. “Vervain… What?” I gulped, my eyes immediately meeting with Kai’s.

“You!” I pointed. “Oops,” Kai chuckled, getting out of his seat.

“Not so fast,” Bonnie said, grabbing his arm to sit him back down. Kai grabbed her arm, too. Bonnie started screaming and holding his hand in pain.

“What? What are you doing to her!” I exclaimed, going over to them.

“Taking her magic,” Kai shrugged. “What! B-But… How?” I asked.

“She’s a witch, so am I. Well, not exactly. I’m more of what you say… a siphon,” he explained as if I was supposed to know.

“Well, whatever are you, get off of her!” I yelled, taking ahold of his jacket and pulling him away. I stumbled back, still holding onto him.

“I wasn’t done yet!” Kai whined.

“I don’t care! You were hurting her,” I glared at him, shoving him out of the way and going to Bonnie.

“Hey, did he burn you? Let’s get your arm under some water,” I said, grabbing her shoulder gently.

“No, I’m not burned. It just hurt like hell. Ugh! Why did you do that?!” Bonnie exclaimed angrily at Kai.

“Because I needed the power to do this,” Kai said, holding up his hand. He made the bottle of bourbon float up and poured it all over Damon.

“Stop!” I shrieked, running over to shove his arm down, but he sent me flying across the room with his other hand.

“Sorry, princess, but I can’t let you ruin this,” Kai said.

I groaned, holding the back of my head. “Screw you.”

“Oh, I wish you could,” Kai winked at you.

I gagged in disgust and got up slowly, groaning at the paining my back. “Not anymore.” Kai chuckled will finishing pouring the bottle of bourbon on Damon, then lifting him up and throwing him against the wall.

“B-Bonnie. D-Do mag-gic,” Damon whimpered. “Yeah, please do,” I nodded, balancing myself on the island counter.

“Yeah, please do, Bonnie. Please humiliate yourself in front of your friends. It’s so sad that you can’t do magic. I’ve been watching you for weeks now. What’s even the point of you trying? What’re you gonna do, fail at me? It’s embarrassing. I’m embarrassed for you,” Kai taunted her.

Bonnie gave him a death glare and looked around the room, spotting a few candles. She closed her eyes and held up her hand. “Phasmatos Incendia.”

I watched in amazement as the candles lit. Bonnie then turned to Kai, who had a shocked look on his face. She grinned at him, cocking her head to the side.

“I’m embarrassed for you,” she mocked him.

“Dammit,” Kai muttered. “Looks like I have to kill you now. I was planning on for that to be later.” “Oh, no you don’t,” Damon remarked, getting up slowly. He then sped over to Kai and before Kai could react, Bonnie held Kai’s arms back while Damon punched Kai.

“You’re going down, wacko,” Damon muttered, taking Kai’s head in his hands and slamming him down on the floor, knocking Kai out.

“Are you okay, Damon?” I asked immediately. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get him chained up,” Damon said.

“Yeah, okay,” I nodded, going over and lifting Kai up form under his arms.

“Good job, Bon-Bon. About time,” Damon patted Bonnie on the back.

“Thanks,” Bonnie gave him a small smile.

Bonnie helped me chain up Kai to a chair, Damon going on the couch to heal and rest.

“I can’t believe you liked him,” Damon spoke up after a while.

“I didn’t,” I protested. “You sure? You were drooling all over him when he first came into the house. You're type is crazy,” Damon smirked.

I rolled my eyes, wanting to change the subject. “I think the whiskey he brought also has vervain in it.”

“He’s right, Y/n. You have horrible taste in guys,” Bonnie teased.

I scoffed. “Un-called for! Damon’s supposed to be the rude one.”

“It’s not being rude if I’m telling the truth,” Bonnie smirked. “Yeah, well, I guess I liked him. Not anymore, though,” I sighed, sitting down on the couch next to Damon.

“Good. We would definitely have had to take you to therapy,” Damon smirked.

I laughed with him, letting out a long sigh. “I just still can’t believe there is someone here with us.” “Yeah, and he’s a psycho,” Damon spat.

“What're we gonna do with him when he wakes up?” I asked.

“Interrogate him. See what he knows, what he wants, how to get out of here,” Damon answered.

“Well, I know a little bit about what he knows,” I said. “We’re in 1994.”

“Yeah, I know,” Damon muttered. “What, how?” I asked.

“While you were gone we found a newspaper. Apparently, we have been re-living May 10th since we got here,” Bonnie said sourly.

“Oh. Great,” I shook my head. “Anything else you guys found out?”

“Yes, actually. Kai is a murderer,” Bonnie said. She grabbed a newspaper from the coffee table and held it up to my face. She pointed to the left side where there were four headshots of teenagers.

“Family Massacred in Portland. The only one missing was the oldest boy. A 22 year-old named Malachai,” I read aloud. I then looked up to Kai who was still knocked out. “I-Is he Malachai?”

“All signs point to yes,” Damon said. “My God. I liked a murderer? Jesus, what is wrong with me?” I muttered, setting the newspaper down.

“Really? Your type in men is what you’re worried about?” Damon scoffed.

I smiled a little. “No, no! It’s just… Weird to me. Anyways, if he knows the way out, we have to get out without him, okay?”

“Deal,” Bonnie nodded.

“Do you guys want to go to bed?” I asked. “Well, someone has to stay and watch,” Damon gestured to Kai.

“Why don’t you. You’re the immortal,” I nudged his shoulder.

“Fine. I’ll alert you guys when he wakes up,” Damon said.

“Great. Thanks, Damon,” Bonnie smiled. “Mhm. No prob!” Damon exclaimed as Bonnie and I climbed up the stairs.

“He is kinda cute,” Bonnie said once we reached one the guest bedroom.

“Who? Damon?” I asked. “No, Kai,” Bonnie explained.

I raised my brows, my mouth formed in the shape of an ‘O’.

“What?” Bonnie asked. “I cannot believe you just said that about our enemy. You’re never this two-faced,” I smirked.

Bonnie rolled her eyes, “Yeah, well, he’s still a sociopath.”

“True that. Hey, wanna have a sleepover? Maybe have some fun,” I suggested.

“Yes! Oh, I wish that Care and Elena were here,” Bonnie sighed.

“Me, too, Bon. We’ll get to see them soon, though.” I put a hand on her shoulder.

“I hope,” Bonnie smiled. I smiled back and went to the closet, finding a pair of sweats and a tank top. Bonnie and I got ready for bed, staying up for a good hour talking, finally passing out across the bed.

I was the first one to wake up. I rose up slowly and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Once I opened them fully, I looked around the room with complete confusion. Once I looked at the clock, though, I finally realised that I was in a repeating loop of May 10th, 1994. You’d think waking up for months in this place, I would get used to it, but I really never have. Not yet, at least.

“Disappointing, right?” Bonnie spoke next to me. I turned, chuckling in agreement. “Most definitely.”

“At least we got a full night’s sleep. It’s 10 AM,” Bonnie said. “True,” I nodded, getting up and stretching.

“Let’s go and see the sociopath living downstairs,” I groaned.

“I’ll need coffee before I see him,” Bonnie said, getting up and putting on a robe.

“Oh, me, too,” I chuckled.

We both went downstairs after freshening up, going to the kitchen immediately.

“Um, hello? Did you forget about us?” Damon asked form the living room.

“Yep,” Bonnie smiled at him. Damon rolled his eyes, going over to us.

“Hurry up, sleeping beauties. Malachai is awake,” Damon said, his eyes going wide as he said Kai’s full name.

“Please, it’s Kai,” Kai said. “Hm, nope. I read Malachai in the newspaper,” Damon gave Kai his signature sarcastic smile.

Bonnie and I laughed at Damon defying Kai. I poured myself some coffee and made myself some eggs and toast before going over to Damon.

“Alright, I am ready to get this interrogation on,” I smiled, sitting down on the couch.

“Me, too,” Bonnie said, sitting next to me.

“Wow, you look beautiful when just waking up,” Kai complimented.

“Drop the act, weirdo,” I rolled my eyes.

“I was actually talking to the green-eyed beauty next to you,” Kai grinned.

I couldn’t help but frown. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach and I looked down at my food, picking up the toast and nibbling on the crust.

“You can still drop the act. We want answers,” Bonnie demanded.

“Ooh, you are so sexy while dominant,” Kai winked. “And you are so gross and desperate,” Bonnie stated.

“If you don’t give us answers, I’ll snap your neck,” Damon threatened.

I looked up and saw Kai pursing his lips.

“It’s so funny,” Kai stated. “What is?” Damon asked.

“Well, you three seem to hate me, yet you haven’t killed me yet,” Kai explained.

“Because we need information from you, and you are withholding for no reason,” Bonnie explained further.

“Fine. But I want Y/n to ask the questions,” Kai said, his blue eyes landing on me.

I glared at him right away. “Why me? You seem pretty infatuated with Bonnie.”

“Jealousy is not a good look on you, princess,” he spoke playfully.

I had to fight the butterflies that were swarming in my stomach. “And being annoying is not a good way for us to not kill you.”

Kai laughed, “Fair. So, what do you guys want to know?”

“Why are we here? Is this my personal hell?” Damon asked quickly.

I furrowed my brows and looked up at him. “Why do you think this is your personal hell?”

“Well, first of all my car is parked in the entry way. Yeah, I noticed that. And second… There was something bad I did during May 10th, 1994,” Damon sighed.

“Damon… What did you do?” Bonnie’s voice wavered. “Yeah, Damon, what did you do?” Kai pressed on.

“You,” Damon pointed to Kai. “Shut it. And… You guys would hate me if I told you. Like, hate me for real.”

“Oh, I bet it’s not too bad,” I smiled comfortingly.

“Nope, it’s bad,” Damon sighed. “Well, then tell us,” Bonnie pushed.

Damon sighed, walking from the back of the couch to the armchair. He slumped down. “I… I killed a pregnant woman.”

The plate that was once in my hand clattered to the ground.

“You what!?” Bonnie exclaimed.

“Not one of my best moments,” Damon sighed.

“W-Why?” I stuttered, racking my brain for any type of logical explanation.

“Cause I was mad at Stefan,” Damon shrugged. “And that justifies the fact that you killed a pregnant woman?” Bonnie shouted.

“Yeah, yeah, I know! I’m a horrible person, okay?” Damon exclaimed, shooting up from his seat.

“You’re worse than I thought. How can Elena love you!” Bonnie scoffed.

I stood up in-between them. “Okay, not the time, guys. We need to ask Kai questions.”

“And before you do that, I need you guys to get a few things for me,” Kai said.

I groaned, “What now?”

“Well, I need to make a list, and I can’t if I’m all tied up.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.” I went over to him, untying the rope. I then got a paper and pencil and handed them to him.

“Thank you, honey,” Kai gave me an eye-blinding grin.

“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered, going to the kitchen to get a dustpan to sweep up the broken pieces of the plate.

“Alright!” Kai announced after a few moments. “All done.” “Great. I’ll go out,” I said, going over and taking the paper out of his hand. Kai reached out to stop me, though.

“Nope. I want you to stay,” Kai said. “Why?” I asked.

“Because you’re so cute,” he complimented. “Shut up. I will kill you,” I sneered, jerking my arm out of his grasp.

“I’ll go. I don’t want to be around Damon,” Bonnie snarled, snatching the piece of paper.

“Bon, c’mon,” Damon said helplessly, following her to the door.

They both went out of the house. I could hear Bonnie shouting from the outside.

“Finally alone together,” Kai said.

“Yeah, no. I’m going upstairs,” I said, turning on my heels.

“If you stay I'll tell you everything,” Kai said.

I stopped in my track, turning back to him slowly. “Really?”

He nodded. “I promise.”

“Fine,” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch. Kai got up and walked over. He sat down right next to me.

I huffed and got up, sitting in the armchair.

“Fine, I’ll talk to you this way, I guess. So, what do you want to know?” Kai asked.

“Why did you kill your family?” I asked. “Well, I was born into a coven of witches. The Gemini coven, to be exact. I was the black sheep of my family. The one whose magical ability was sucking the power out of people. My family hated me. My father hated me. He never showed me love or tried to understand me,” he explained.

“And that’s why you killed your whole family? Because you never got love?” I asked.

“Yep. Basically,” he shrugged. “Not a good enough reason,” I shook my head.

“Well, what were you expecting?”

I sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Precisely. Anyways, that’s why this is my personal hell. Not Damon’s.”

“How do we get out of here?” I asked.

“Well, there’s this thing called an ascendent. That will take us home,” he explained.

“Okay, what is it?” I asked.

“A mystical relic that was created by my family. It can harnesses the power of a celestial event and creates a portal, to which we can all then go home.”

“And where is the ascendent?” I asked. “I have no idea,” Kai smiled.

“Ugh! Seriously? How are we going to get out of here now?” “Well, the stuff I asked Bonnie to get will help us. Don’t worry,” he shrugged.

“Okay, well, I’m going to go and get ready for the day,” I said, standing up.

“And you’re going to leave me here alone? What if I kill you in the shower?” Kai asked.

“Well, I need a shower. So, if you do, at least I’ll be released from this world,” I smiled sweetly, walking off.

I heard him chuckle behind me. I sighed quietly and climbed up the stairs. I could not wait to get out of there.

I came back downstairs after 30 minutes. I first looked in the living room, seeing Bonnie and Damon with Kai.

“Took you long enough,” Damon said.

I rolled my eyes, “I assume Kai filled you in?” “Yep. I have to do a spell now to find the ascendent,” Bonnie nodded.

“And we’re gonna do that with Kai having jam on his fingers?” I asked, pointing to Kai was scooping out jam with his hands.

“Well, I’m not gonna do the spell. Bonnie will. I’ll just guide her,” Kai explained.

I hummed in reply and nodded. “Alright, well, let’s get started then.”

Bonnie and Kai went to the dining room table to work. Spreading out a big map and putting some of Kai’s blood on the paper to do a locator spell.

We watched as she tried a few times before she realised the blood wasn’t moving.

“It doesn’t feel right,” she sighed. “Maybe I need bigger map.”

“Maybe you’re just out of practice, and you suck at magic now,” Damon said.

“Ignore him, Bonnie. Pretend he’s a white noise machine,” Kai said. “That’s how I used to tune out my siblings.”

“How many siblings?” I asked casually.

“Seven,” Kai answered. “You know, all of them constantly yammering. But it, uh, taught me how to focus.” He went by Bonnie, looking her in the eye, his gaze traveling down to her lips.

A pang of jealously hit my heart. I looked down at the ground, not wanting to see them kiss, if they did.

“Easy there, big brother,” Damon remarked. “She doesn’t know you. At least buy her a drink.”

Bonnie and Kai chuckled, looking at each other. I groaned quietly, going to the kitchen to get myself a drink.

“Hey! Where are you going, princess?” Kai called.

“Somewhere where you’re not,” I grumbled.

I got out a bottle of scotch, taking a swig from the bottle.

“Woah, easy there, princess,” Damon mocked the nickname Kai had given me.

I glared at him. “Do not call me that.”

“What, I can’t, but Kai can? Sounds like someone still has a crush,” Damon sang.

“I do not!”

“You sure you don’t like him? Cause I think you two would make a great fit. He’s crazy and well, you seem to like crazy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, like you and Elena are a great fit, right? You being the one who keeps breaking up with her and all.”

I then walked past Damon and back into the living room, earning a glare from him.

“The blood’s moving towards Virginia. Can’t be right,” Kai said.

“Mm-mm. Spell’s working. It’s showing me Mystic Falls. It feels so… close,” Bonnie said, putting her hand on Kai’s jacket, candles lighting up.

“It right here,” Bonnie said, pressing her hand into his chest.

Kai took out the ascendent from his jacket pocket, an expression of shock on his face. “Very good.”

“That’s the ascendent?” I asked. “The one and only,” Kai smiled.

“Thanks for the mind games, jackass,” Damon said.

“It was just another little test. To make sure Bonnie’s magic was precise enough for the spell,” Kai explained. “I do believe we’re ready. Pack your bags, we’re going home.”

Kai then walked out of the house and to the front yard, stopping every few moments.

“You’re wandering around like a crazy man, why?” Damon asked.

“I’m looking for the exact right spot,” Kai answered, holding the ascendent up to the sky. “We need to find where the power of the eclipse is focused.”

“You know, you could have just showed us the ascendant to begin with,” Bonnie said.

“Yeah, but I wanted to feel your hand on my chest,” Kai smirked.

A frown rested upon my lips and I looked down at the ground.

“He is so annoying,” Bonnie muttered.

“You’re just not used to guys hitting on you,” Damon said. “You know, I can’t wait to get out of here,” Bonnie glared.

She then went next to me. I held my head back up, but not looking at her.

“Hey, how you holding up?” She asked. “Oh, fine,” I shrugged. “I’m getting kind of bored, though.”

“Yeah, I feel you… Hey,” Bonnie said, putting her hand on my arm. I turned to her, “Yeah?”

“Kai is a sociopath. He’s just flirting with us to get a rise out of each other. I know you don’t like him anymore, but that attraction you felt to him is probably still there. Let’s not let him tear us apart, okay? We’re stronger than some guy,” she smiled.

I smiled with her, perking up. “Yeah. You’re right. Sorry, just between him calling me pet names and the fact that Damon is always so pissy, it’s hard to be optimistic.”

“Well, I can do magic again now, so there’s one reason!” “Very true. Good job, by the way,” I complimented. “Why, thank you,” Bonnie chuckled.

We followed Kai and Damon, beginning to talk about our plans for when we got home. I looked down at the ground as she talked about her plans with Jeremy. I kicked around a rock, a pair of shoes appearing in front of me. It was Kai. Before my body could stop, I knocked into him.

His hands supported my waist, holding me up. My eyes met his and for a split second, I could see the human in him. I pushed him away though, scoffing in the process.

“A little warning next time?”

Kai just smiled down at me, then looking up to the sky. “The eclipse will happen directly overhead. In perfect alignment with the Gemini constellation. You need to dig under the tunnels below us. We’ll do the spell here,” Kai said

“Wait, why do we have to dig?” Damon asked.

“Have you never portal-jumped through an eclipse before? Okay, look, the light of the eclipse will shine down and activate the ascendant. You spout a little witchy woo and then, poof! Anyone standing in the circle of light holding the ascendant goes home,” Kai explained.

“Let me see the spell,” Bonnie said. “When the time comes,” Kai smiled.

He then walked past us three.

“Where are you going?” I asked. “Into town. I need to gather some important supplies,” Kai explained.

“Y/n, why don’t you watch over him to make sure he isn’t planning to kill us,” Damon said.

“What! No!” I protested. “You really want to be stuck with us? Digging a hole?” Bonnie asked.

“Not really,” I sighed. “Fine, I’ll go. See you guys later.”

“Have fun,” Bonnie smiled. “Oh, you know I will,” I smiled sourly as I followed Kai’s path.

I jogged to catch up with him. “Hey, Kai! Wait up.”

Kai stopped in his tracks, turning in surprise. “Stalking me?”

“Nope. More like babysitting.”

“Hm. Well, I’m older than you, so technically I would be doing the babysitting,” Kai said.

“Yeah, like you have any parental instincts. So, where into town are we going?”

“I thought you hated talking to me,” Kai said. “Just answer the damn question,” I glared.

“I’m picking up some personal belongings,” Kai explained.

“Why?” You asked. “Because 1994 has been my home for most of my life. I don’t want to get homesick when I go into the 21st century,” Kai answered.

“Hm, I see. Well, a lot has changed in the last 18 years,” I said.

“So I can see. They obviously didn’t make girls as pretty as Bonnie back then,” Kai smirked.

My lips pulled down into another frown. Him complimenting Bonnie was like a stake to the heart. I didn’t know why, but it bothered me a little too much to hear him talk about other girls. It was even worse considering that the girl he was talking about was my best friend.

“Hey, don’t be so sad. You’re pretty, too,” Kai nudged my shoulder.

“Wow, thanks,” I rolled your eyes.

“I’m serious! You’re more pretty than Bonnie!” Kai said. “Just want I wanted. You dragging my friend down so I can be complimented,” I hummed.

Kai rolled his eyes. “Women are so difficult. Look, I meant that you’re really pretty. Bonnie is, too. Just accept the fact I think you’re pretty!”

My face warmed up quickly and I hung my head low. “T-Thanks.”

“Let me guess, not a lot of guys compliment you?”

“They do, but doesn’t mean I don’t get flustered.”

“You seem pretty outgoing to me,” Kai said.

“Well, that’s probably because I hate you. I’m shy to guys I like,” I explained, putting my head back up.

“Hm… Or you just think that. You know, girls can be mean when they like a guy.”

“Yeah, in elementary school. Look, I’m not 8 anymore. I know the difference between love and hate and trust me, my feelings for you stand on the hate side.”

“Keep saying that, princess,” Kai remarked. “And stop calling me princess! God, it’s so annoying,” I groaned.

“C’mon, I know you like it, princess,” Kai teased, poking at my arm.

I swatted his hand away. “For someone who is a sociopath, you sure like to flirt a lot.”

“I am not a sociopath,” Kai said. “You sure are,” I chuckled.

“I’m not. I was just treated like the biggest embarrassment and disappointment of my family, and I’ve been stuck here for 18 years. It’s not fun going through what I did,” Kai argued.

I softened up a little. “Right, yeah. So, how long do we have to walk for?”

“Not very long,” Kai said.

We walked in a weirdly comfortable silence for 10 more minutes before arriving at a house.

“This your place I assume?” I asked.

“Yep. Not the place I grew up in, though,” he said, walking up. “Because you were born in Oregon?” I guessed.

“Yep. Wow, you pay attention to what I say. So sweet.” I huffed, “Just hurry up.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I waited for him outside the house, beginning to play with the locket around my neck. I took it off, opening it and smiling nostalgically.

“I miss you guys. I wish you were here,” I said to the pictures, running my fingertips on them.

“Are you talking to yourself?” Kai’s voice sounded out of nowhere.

I jumped, immediately shutting the locket. “No. Are you finished?”

“Yep,” he nodded.

“Good, let’s hurry back.”

“Who were you talking to?” He asked as we started our journey back to Bonnie and Damon.

“Nobody,” I answered. “So you were talking to yourself?” Kai pressed.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Why?” He asked.

“It’s none of your business,” I said quickly. I hoped he got the hint that this was something that I would never share.

“Oh, please? You know, like, everything about me!”

I groaned, “No, Kai! Stop it.”

His eyebrows raised, his lips curling up into a smile. “Alright, Miss Fussy.”

I went in front of him, walking fast. We finally got back to the big hole that was now in the middle of the forrest.

“Now will you show us the spell?” Bonnie asked, panting.

“Not yet,” Kai said. “Why? We’ve done everything you want. Just get us out of here,” Damon said.

“I just… I can’t. Not yet,” Kai shrugged.

I scoffed, “Now is not the time to be a dick.”

“Wait,” Bonnie said, staring hard at Kai. “He doesn’t know the spell. Which means we don’t need him. Motus.”

Suddenly the pickaxe that Damon had flew up and plunged Kai in the heart, missing my arm by a centimeter.

“Bonnie!” I shrieked.

“What? You never liked him anyways,” Bonnie shrugged. “I have my grimoire right here, I’ll find the spell.” Bonnie pulled out the spell book from her backpack.

“Yeah, and how long is that gonna take?” Damon asked. “Not long if you two let me concentrate,” Bonnie said.

Damon groaned and walked over to me. “She seems way too calm.”

“She’s not one to freak out like you or Caroline. I’m a little mad at her, too, but I know she’s got this,” I shrugged, taking a seat on the dirt.

“Find the spell yet, Bon-Bon?” Damon asked, leaning against a tree.

“It’s been 2 minutes,” I swatted Damon’s leg. “No, but I think the Gemini coven used a Bennett spell to create this place. That's why my grams sent me here,” Bonnie explained.

I smiled at her, “Great thinking!”

Bonnie thanked me with a nod, holding the ascendent up in her hands and muttering an incantation. My jaw dropped as I saw the ascendent move outwards.

“And this is why Kai never killed me. He needed a Bennett,” Bonnie smiled triumphantly.

“See, I told you she knew what she was doing,” I smiled up at Damon.

“Yeah, well, I did, too. I was just giving her a hard time,” Damon shrugged.

Bonnie chuckled. “You guys ready to go home?”

“Hell yeah!” I exclaimed and jumped up.

We all jumped down the hole that Bonnie and Damon dug up, landing in a cave. Bonnie wasted no time dropping her blood onto the ascendant. She muttered the spell, the ascendent winding out further.

“Ready, guys?” Bonnie asked.

I nodded, walking up to her and putting my hand under her’s. Damon put his hand under mine.

“Let’s go home,” I smiled, tears threatening to fall out of my eyes.

As Bonnie was about to say the spell, an arrow struck just right under my heart and sent me flying. Another arrow also hit Bonnie. I hit a pile of rocks, my head turning to whoever hit me. It was Kai.

“Forgetting someone?” He asked. “Did you really think I haven’t tried to kill myself before? Because I have.” He loaded up the crossbow again.

Damon made a move for the ascendent that was now on the floor.

“Grab that or the next arrow will be in their hearts. Your choice.” Kai threatened.

Damon sighed and sped over to Bonnie, pulling the arrow out from her body. She screamed in pain, my eyes widening as I watched Kai take the ascendent.

“Damon!” I exclaimed as Damon as about to feed us his blood.

Damon fed Bonnie his blood quickly and ran up to Kai, knocking the ascendent out of his hand. My eyes fell to the ascendent as it was close enough for me to try and grab. I tried to reach, but Bonnie was a few steps ahead of me. She then bent down to me, ripping the arrow out of my side. I screamed in pain, tears streaming down my face.

“We’re gonna get you out of here, okay? Just put pressure on this,” Bonnie said, grabbing her jacket around my wound.

I shook my head, smiling sadly. “No, I-I won’t make it. You and Damon go. You guys have too much to live for. Me? I have no family there, and we all know Caroline and Elena miss you more.”

“That is so not true,” Bonnie said. “When you were gone at camp for those 3 summers, all Care and Elena could take about was how much they’ve missed you. And I know for a fact that Tyler, Matt, and especially Stefan miss you, too. We are getting you out of here.”

“We are, Y/n. Otherwise Elena would kill me,” Damon groaned from behind me. “I would rather be killed by my hot, vampire girlfriend instead of this psycho. A little help Bonnie?”

Bonnie nodded, muttering a spell that sent Kai flying back. Damon then came over and lifted me up, carrying me over to Bonnie. We stood under the light and I looked up, smiling happily.

“I’m getting out of here,” I sighed.

“Not on my watch!” Kai exclaimed. As soon as we started to float up, Kai ran over to Damon and knocked me out of his arms.

“No!” I screamed.

“Y/n!” Bonnie exclaimed as she shot up in the portal.

I watched with hot, burning tears as Bonnie and Damon disappeared. I sobbed in pain and sadness, looking at Kai with a watery gaze.

“Why?!” I screamed.

“Because like you said, you don’t have any family there. Me neither, so there’s no reason for you to get back to your home,” Kai explained with a shit-eating grin.

“Screw you,” I muttered distantly. I felt my eyes begin to droop. My breathing was so shallow, I could barely feel my heartbeat. I looked up to the light that was shining down. Where my friends once were.

“Sleep well, princess. I’ll see you soon.” Was the last thing I heard before I lost all consciousness.

————

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lilacyennefer · 4 years ago

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It is You, it is Me, it is Us

Anon asked: Hi! Can I request “ Person A: “....You have far too much faith in me.” Person B: “And you have far too little.” with Angel Reyes? Thank you!

A/N: Hi there! This is my first time writing for Angel so I'm a little nervous, but I got this request and loved it so much I quickly had to wrtie this at work today lmao. Anyway, I don't have an Angel Reyes tag list yet so if you want to be on it please comment or send an ask. I hope you guys like this :) Have a nice weekend!

WARNING: mention of vomiting, a little angst, lot of fluff, that’s all I guess

Angel always could count on you, he knew that.

He always tried to keep you away from the club business, never really wanted to talk about it to you, he wanted to spare you, and he was afraid he’d get you into danger if you knew everything.

But there was one point, a breaking point to Angel when he realised he only can count on you.

EZ’s betrayal, and that Felipe took his little brother’s side, completely broke Angel.

You were clueless when he came home, you had your own little secret that you kept from him, didn’t know how to tell him yet.

A baby.

You figured it out two weeks ago that you were pregnant, and you were scared how Angel would react to this, so you didn’t tell him yet.

You wanted to tell him that night when he came home, broken and angry, and hurt.

Your heart broke when you saw how defeated he was, and again, you couldn’t make yourself to tell him, since you tried to pour some life back into him.

That night he told you everything that he was keeping from you, breaking down and needing someone to be there for him, telling him he wasn’t alone.

You grabbed his hand, and your heart clenched when Angel looked at you with his teary eyes.

You swallowed hard before you said anything.

“I’m here for you Angel, and with you.” You squeezed his hand “You can always count on me, no matter what. We are a family, and I’m always here. No matter what!”

You take his face in your hands as you continue “I know you’re hurt right now, and you have every right to be. And you have to let yourself to feel this hurt, the anger. This house, and me, is your safe place, okay? You don’t have to hide any of your emotions, afraid that I’ll judge you for it. You know I would never. It’s okay to feel pain, to feel hurt, and ask someone to help you with it.” You gently wipe a tear off his cheek with your thumb “This is our safe place. You’re safe with me.” A small smile tugs the corner of your lips from your next sentence “And I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone hurt you, ever. I’m gonna protect you, no matter what. I don’t care that you’re a giant compared to me,” Angel chuckles “I’m still going to protect you.

“That’s supposed to be my job.” Angel tells you.

You nod “You do the physical protecting, and I do the emotional. As a team.”

Angel looks at you for a very long moment, his eyes are skimming over your face.

“You mean everything to me, I hope you know that.” He whispers as he pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you as close as possible.

“Please never forget that.” You mutter against his chest, your secret is making your chest heavy.

A little bit over a week has passed some that night, and you still haven’t told Angel that you’re pregnant.

One morning, you were laying in bed with him, he was still asleep, his head was resting on your chest, mouth open and slightly drooling on you, his tattooed arm was thrown around your belly, legs tangled together.

Softly, careful not to wake him, you were running your fingers through his hair, when a sudden nausea hit you, and you could feel that you have to be in the bathroom in seconds.

“Oh god.” You whisper before you push Angel off of you, waking him, then you rush to the bathroom before you throw up.

When Angel realised something was wrong, he rushed to the bathroom after you, squatting down next to you as he rubbed your back while you emptied your stomach into the toilet.

“You shouldn’t see this.” You mutter.

“You saw me in worse states after parties.” Angel chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m afraid this isn't a hangover.”

“Then what? Food poisoning? It seemed like you enjoyed the food last night.”

“Angel, please can you get me a glass of water.” Is all you say.

“Shit, yeah!” He quickly gets up from the floor and goes to the kitchen to get you a glass of cold water.

You gratefully take the glass from him and take a few sips in silence.

You drank most of the water slowly, Angel was by your side the whole time, rubbing your back softly.

“I’m gonna brush my teeth.” You mutter, and Angel leaves you alone while you get yourself together.

There’s no way of avoiding this anymore.

After a quick shower, and brushing your teeth, you slightly felt better, until you stepped out of the bathroom and the strong smell of coffee hit your nose, and you can’t help but make a disgusted face.

“What is this smell?” You ask Angel as you walk into the kitchen.

“Coffee.” He says simply.

“What? You love coffee, especially the smell of it.” He states when he sees your disgusted expression.

You take a deep breath. It’s now or never.

“Angel, I have to tell you something.” You say nervously.

Angel, seeing your serious expression, furrows his brows as he walks closer to you.

“What’s wrong, mi dulce?” He places his big hand on the side of your face, his palm covers the most of your cheek.

You take another deep breath, then close your eyes before you whisper “I’m pregnant.”

You don’t open your eyes as you wait for Angel’s reaction, but your eyes snap open when you hear laughing.

“Yeah, that’s really funny Y/N.”

You keep looking at him, as serious as you can to prove that you’re not joking.

Does he really think that you’re joking?

Angel is still smiling and shaking his head, but when he looks at you again, his smile fades.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Do you really think I would joke with something like this?” You snap “This has been killing me in the past few weeks! I’m constantly terrified of your reaction, that you’ll leave me, and you think I’m joking?!”

Angel opens his mouth to say something, but he stops when he sees tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I wanted to tell you that night you came home and told me about EZ’s betrayal. I couldn’t make myself to do it, I was afraid it would break you even more.” You cry. “I’m so terrified, Angel, ever since I know it. We never talked about this, I have no idea what’s your opinion about this, I’m afraid you’ll think that I’m baby trapping you.” You sob “I’m confused, afraid, and all alone in this.”

“You’re not alone!” Angel says firmly “Shit, I certainly wasn’t expecting this. I never imagined myself as a family type, as a father, but fuck, I also never imagined myself being so fucking in love with a woman, but here we are.” Angel takes your face in his hands. “Did we plan this? No. Am I terrified? Absolutely. But in no way, I’ll leave you, or force you into something that you don’t want.” The whole time your eyes are fixed on Angel’s chest, not meeting his eyes as you cry.

“Look at me, my love, please.” Angel asks you softly.

You look up at him.

“We are in no way ready for this, but the fact that we will have a mini us, the perfect mix of both of us, running around here in a few months makes me excited.” Angel smiles, and you can’t help but smile too.

“And if you’ll stay with me, I can promise you that I’ll keep knocking you up.” He winks, and you can’t help, but snort at his words.

“Let’s wait and see how we can handle one baby, at first.”

You’re six months pregnant now.

Things were going easier than you thought they’ll go, and You and Angel were incredibly happy about your baby.

But you couldn’t ignore the fact that something was bothering Angel, you didn’t ask what is it, you’re almost sure that it’s club business, and if he wants to tell you, he will.

But you couldn’t ignore the mean thoughts in your brain, saying that he’s distant because he hates the sight of you, he hates the fact that you’re getting bigger and bigger, and he can’t look at you anymore, and he’s probably with one of Vicky’s girls.

These thoughts made you break down in painful sobs.

One night, you’re laying in bed, on your back, watching something on tv when Angel comes home.

You hear him take his Kutte off, his shoes, as he slowly walks towards the bedroom that you share.

“You should be sleeping.” He says when he sees you being awake.

“I’m not sleepy. Hormones you know.”

“I’m gonna take a shower quickly.” Angel says before he disappears in the bathroom.

You turn off the tv while you wait for him.

After like 5 minutes, Angel comes out of the bathroom, wearing only a loose black boxer that he loves to sleep in.

He lays down next to you, turning towards you, drinking in the sight of you.

Placing a hand on your round belly he whispers “You’re so beautiful.”

It’s your turn now to turn your head towards him so you can look at him.

“And here I thought you hated the sight of me.” You whisper, voice so small you’re not sure that Angel heard you.

But he did.

His head snapped up with a confused, and somehow offended expression.

“Why the fuck you’d say that?”

“I can see that something is wrong. And I’m getting bigger, and bigger…”

“Stop right there!” Angel says forcefully. “You really think that’s the reason?”

You don’t reply.

Angel licks his lips, he’s no longer looking you in the eyes, but it’s fixed on your round belly.

“I’m afraid I’ll fuck it up.” He confesses “I’m afraid that I’ll be a horrible father, and our child will hate me. All I can think about is that I will fuck it up.”

“Angel.” You whisper “You won’t fuck this up. Not as long as I’m here and we do this together.”

“You can’t know that.” He shakes his head.

“Yes, I can. Because I know you Angel Reyes. You might fuck things up, but who doesn’t?!? Everyone makes mistakes, but the only thing important is that we learn from them. And you do, my love. You’re going to be the most amazing father. And you know why?”

Angel shakes his head.

“Because you have a big heart. And when you love someone, you give everything you have to them, you love them more than anything, and you would do anything for them. I know it’s true, because I feel it everyday.”

“You have far too much faith in me” Angel whispers.

“And you have far too little.” You reply “You have to start believing in yourself, mi Angelito.”

“You’re going to be an amazing father, and this little one is lucky to have you as their dad.”

Angel moves closer to you, placing a hand on your belly as he kisses you lovingly.

“Thank you. For everything.” Angel whispers against your lips.

“Always, my Angel. Always.

#clayton cardenas #angel reyes #angel reyes x reader

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chibimyumi · 3 years ago

Note

Hey I hope you're doing well!

Have you watched Furukawa Yuta's Mozart live stream? And if you have watched it could you you make a little review if you have time?

Thank you for answering

【Related post: "Mozart!" 2021 Live Stream】

Dear Anon,

Yes I did watch the Furuzart Live Stream! As said before, I am actually no big fan of "Mozart!" as a show, but I was ecstatic about Furukawa's reprise as Mozart because it'd be such a milestone for him. Last time in 2018 Furukawa underperformed according to himself and critics, so 2021 was his "redemption arc" for him, so to say. And boy he did!

In 2018 a main criticism about Furuzart was that his voice had no power, no volume, in 2018. Furukawa also admitted that as the musical prodigy W.A. Mozart himself, he could not afford to miss any note. One of Furukawa's weaknesses is his singing, so he underwent a new Spartan training back in 2018 just for this role. He even learnt playing the piano within a few weeks, just to do Mozart justice.

But in the end... well yes, he did hit all the notes... but he basically whispered most of his songs, and often he was so hyper focused on just singing the notes right, his emotional range varied between: "mildly nervously happy" to "extremely nervous". This time however, Furukawa shared in the press conference that for the first time he feels enjoyment in showing off his skills, rather than just anxiety.

This time round, Furukawa has improved his vocal range significantly, and singing high pitches comes with convincible ease now. The high transitions are smooth, and the belting/shouts are powerful!

Mozart is a very child-like character. He is spontaneous, and has this tremendous talent and energy his human body fails to contain. In 2021, Furukawa really excellently managed to show how Mozart is just always bursting with unkempt passion, but has no outlet.

Mozart is employed by very high ranking people, so he always has to watch his manners. He however, is also strongly of the opinion that none of the nobles deserve his respect. It is amazing to see how Furuzart is always being in a state of: "I know I have to be polite, I will try a BIT, but you don't deserve any more than this much effort 👌" Honestly, this look of him wearing his locks with that... powdered situation on his head is the PERFECT representation of what Furuzart is. Even when sticking to the rules everything is just wrong.

When Mozart was fired for example, he had a small moment of: "dude, you're firing MOI? (ÒAÓ)" But then very quickly he realised that he was finally free, and his proclamation of freedom was the most genuine glee I've ever seen on stage.

Mozart's life is of course not a walk though the park, however... and very soon tragedy after tragedy strikes him. The moment the shit starts hitting the show though, Furukawa's Mozart is best described using just one word: "devastating".

During the special curtain call of the Final Performance, Director Koike Shuichiro was really emotional, and said that while in the spectators seats he was struck by how hyper detailed Furukawa’s acting was. Koike said: “It might be arrogant, but I think for once it is alright to say how proud I am of our work. I have always known Furukawa Yuta for his attention for detail, but today I learned just how precise, how detailed his acting can go. Now I’m a bit angry with him though. Why didn’t you show me this during the rehearsals?”

Furukawa has always had this incredible skill of devastating his audience with something so...complex, so subtle, and yet overwhelmingly heart-breaking to the audience. I think in Mozart we really see the full extent of Furukawa's skills. Especially because Mozart is so child-like, you just can’t help but feel like you want to protect him.

The “world of adults” was so bitter and unforgiving, and Furuzart really showed how he was trying so hard to compute everything... but was given no space to explore anything. (Honestly... isn’t that all of us right now?)

Though I still find “Mozart!” as a production flawed in many aspects, the piques are phenomenal piques. I think with the newly edited version of “Mozart!” 2021, the show is more coherent than before, however. I think “Mozart!” really is a coming-of-age-failed story. In Furukawa’s words:

The Grand Musicals written by Kunze and Levay are cultural markers in the Japanese theatre world, and they are known for the empowering female leads. Mozart however, I think is the only male lead among the Kunze & Levay productions? I feel tremendously honoured to be allowed this one role. Mozart is known only for his greatness, but this musical shows that no greatness is ever simple. Behind greatness is always just a human being. For me, I think the question this production asks is: “What is talent?” Is talent something that resides in the body, or the soul? - Furukawa.

Other cast

Mozart is really 80% of the show; once he shows up, he hardly ever gets off stage again. This means that the side characters REALLY need to shine in order not to be forgotten.

Constanze - Mozart’s Wife

In 2018, the Constanzes were pretty badly received by the public. From left to right are Kinoshita Haruka, Hirano Aya and Ikuta Erika. Out of the three, only Hirano’s Constanze was what the show and TOHO’s reputation promised. Kinoshita and Ikuta were both described as: “they sing well, but they’re little girls trying on mommy’s high heels”, one of the harshest criticisms in public domains in Japan I have seen.

In 2021, Constanze was played by just Kinoshita, and I was very worried that the only reason she’d be there in the Imperial Theatre again was because she’s pretty.

Then I watched the show, and to my pleasant surprise there was significant improvement!! Kinoshita spoke and sang in a much lower and stable voice, she wasn’t forcing it, and she did have a little bit of zest this role demands. She is still not the power-house of a Constanze as Hirano and Sonim were in 2014, but Kinoshita was honestly not bad. I would still not have cast her myself, but that level of growth was incredibly enjoyable for me to watch.

During the Final Performance curtain call, Director Koike even stepped forward to say he was shocked to see how much better she had gotten.

Leopold Mozart - Mozart’s Father

Ichimura Masachika has played Mozart’s father for many years, and every time he manages to amaze me.

I think “Mozart!” does a great job at showing what fatherhood can entail: “everything awful to awesome.” Mozart’s father is unambiguously a loving father who is deeply invested in his children’s wellbeing and talents... but he is human nevertheless. He loves his son but also hurts him. Sometimes as a father he makes decisions he thinks is best for Wolfgang, but “the best” might not always be fun, “the best” might not be Wolfgang’s best, or “the best” might be “Wolfgang’s best” but not “Wolfgang in this world’s best.” Leopold is not a super big character, but I think in the glimpses we do get of him, he has portrayed the difficulty of parenthood, and the trickiness of “love and protection” better than many other portrayals of parents.

Nannerl Mozart - Mozart’s Sister

Nannerl was played by an absolute nightingale Kazune Miou, and she was just suchhhhhhh a blessing. What also does help I admit, is that she is not Hanafusa Mari. Kazune was amazing in her own right, but ESPECIALLY juxtaposed against Hanafusa, she was a blessing.

Kazune really manages the range between young girl to ripe adult woman very well, and this immense true love she has for her brother is just heart-warming to see. With Hanafusa it was just obvious that a 50 year old was trying to play an 18 year old who is actually 8 years on the inside. As rambled in detail in this post, my hatred for Hanafusa’s acting style is that she only has two modes: Whiny toddler girl, or whiny victim woman.

Kazune however, really managed to capture the many complexities of Nannerl’s character. How she is just unconditionally loving towards her brother, but also can’t help but be sad that the greater attention for “the miracle child” came at her expense.

Prince-Archbischop Colloredo - Mozart’s Boss.

Colloredo was played by Yamaguchi Yuichiro. Erm...... Yamaguchi is a great person, he is SOOO kind..........but everything about his singing and acting style just rubs me the wrong way... I always think his acting an unfortunate mix between a slapstick-comedy banana and a pompous opera ghost... ermmmm......... sorry, not for me.

Click here for the official PV.

And click here for the subtitled curtain call of the first day performance.

#Mozart #Mozart 2021 #musical #Furuzart #Furukawa yuta #Review #TOHO #TOHO please give us a DVD please..................#Pretty please.......

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kirkwallgremlin · 4 years ago

Text

Memories of a Little Boy

1873 words, Carver & Malcolm Hawke featuring his relationship with Hawke and Bethany. Brothers can be a pain in the ass, especially when you're the one that always seems to get in trouble. Carver talks about the latest problem his brother is causing with their father.

[read on ao3]

“Go away,” Carver shouted, kicking the sticks he’d been building with aside in frustration as the entire thing crumbled to the ground again. Garrett just poked his tongue out. “This is why nobody likes mages.”

“Carver!” he heard their mother snap and he spun in alarm, not realising she had exited the house, let alone moved close enough to hear them.

Of course she’d heard him and not seen Garrett being a pest. It always happened like that.

“Apologise to your brother,” she told him, the look on her face telling him that he was in big trouble. But Carver stood silently looking at her, his fists balled defiantly by his sides. His lip wobbled but he clenched his jaw, determined not to let any of them see it.

Garrett should be apologising to him. He was the one using his stupid magic to make things impossible for Carver for absolutely no reason except to be the most annoying person in the world.

“He deserved it,” he said, watching his mother’s frown deepen. He knew he was in trouble, knew he’d only get in more trouble by refusing to apologise, but he couldn’t. Apologising was like admitting he was wrong and he wasn’t.

Tears burned in his eyes, threatening to fall and he tried to blink them away. The effort of holding them back made his throat hurt.

Garrett folded his arms, standing beside their mother. He poked his tongue out again and Carver stamped his foot, frustrated.

“You always take his side,” he yelled. “You like him better because he’s a mage. But I’d be happier if the Templars came and took him away.”

He knew he’d gone too far but he felt like sometimes it was true and the words were out there now. Determined not to let either of them see him cry, he turned and ran, heading away from the house, hoping he wouldn’t run into anybody else.

“Carver Aristide Hawke!” he heard their mother yell after him, the full name further compounding evidence that he was in Big Trouble. “You come back here right now.”

Maybe by the time he came back, she’d be less mad and he wouldn’t be in as much trouble.

Maybe he wouldn’t come back. That’d show them.

There was a rocky hill near the lake outside the village and Carver found himself there, tucked in behind a boulder where he could keep himself slightly hidden from the main road. He didn’t know how he felt, really. Angry yes, at Garrett, at their mother, at himself. Upset. Frustrated. He felt like he was shaking.

A tuft of grass grew nearby, almost out of arm’s reach and he scowled at it, imagining it was Garrett’s head. If he focused hard enough, maybe he’d be able to do something magic to it. Set it on fire. Freeze it. Shake it out of the ground or suck the life out of it like mages could apparently do.

Nothing happened.

Nothing ever happened when he tried. Not like the others. Not like Garrett or Bethany.

He ripped the grass out of the ground instead, flinging it away as hard as he could.

“Whoa there,” somebody said and Carver curled in on himself, legs tucked up against his chest. “Careful, Junior. You’ll take somebody’s head off.”

His father came into view beside the rock. He didn’t look angry but Carver didn’t want to take any chances. If he was here, then Mother must have told him that something had happened. He just hoped she hadn’t told him what Carver had said.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

The urge to cry was still there and Carver didn’t trust himself to answer. Instead he just shook his head. He really wasn’t sure if he was saying no, I don’t mind or no, you can’t, but his father sat beside him anyway.

“Want to talk about it?”

Carver just pulled out another tuft of grass, throwing that one away too. It didn’t go anywhere near as far as he hoped, the weight of the plant not enough to stop it from falling frustratingly short.

His father pressed something against his hand and he took it silently. A rock, one of the small fragments broken from the larger rocks around them.

“This one’s a bit heavier than grass. Might travel a little further,” he said as Carver wrapped his fingers around it. Carver glanced at him quickly, looking away when he thought their eyes might meet, pulling his limbs tighter around himself. “Just aim that way, away from the path. We don’t want to be responsible for any injuries.”

The edge of the rock was rough under Caver’s skin as he ran his thumb along the broken edge. He finally gave in, releasing himself slightly from the ball he’d curled into, pulling his arm back as he threw it as far he could, the distance much more satisfying than the grass had been. Before he even had time to lower his arm, another rock was being offered.

“Think you can make it all the way to the water?” his father challenged him, lifting his own rock. “I bet I can.”

None of their rocks made it even close to the water, but Carver didn’t really care. It felt good to throw them, like he was throwing parts of his anger and frustration away with every pebble.

“Hey Junior, this one looks like a heart,” his father said, holding the rock up to Carver. Carver did his best not to smile as he took it.

“Can I keep it?” he asked shyly and his father laughed, nodding as Carver slipped the rock into his pocket, flipping it between his fingers. It was the perfect size to hold.

“So Junior, ready to tell me what happened yet?”

“Garrett was using his magic on me,” Carver said, still fiddling with the rock in his pocket, trying to stop his mood from dipping too much again. “I was trying to build a wall so Bethany and I could be knights attacking a castle and he set one of my sticks on fire. And then he kept making the ground shake so they’d fall over. And he wouldn’t stop even though I kept telling him to.”

“Ah. We’ve been practicing that one,” his father said. “I wondered why he was so enthusiastic about practicing it. I’ll talk to him about that.”

“He always does things like that. But then I always get in trouble. Mother didn’t even want to hear what happened. She just yelled at me when he was the one who did something wrong.”

Carver’s lip wobbled as he gripped his new rock tightly. He ran his thumb over the smooth surface, rubbing circles against it.

“Must have been frustrating,” he said and Carver sniffed, trying to stop his nose from running like it was threatening to do. He nodded.

“I didn’t mean what I said though. About nobody liking mages or the templars taking him away. I’d miss him if that happened.”

“I know. And I’m sure Garrett does too. ” His father wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in for a sideways hug. “It’s easy to say things you don’t mean when you’re angry. But it’s important to be careful. You can’t always take things back once they’re said or done.”

“I know.” Carver looked down at the ground. He’d felt guilty about it ever since the words had left his mouth. “Why do you all get to be magic though? Why am I the only one who isn’t?”

When he and Bethany were younger, they’d pretend to be mages like their father, bravely casting their spells in the privacy of their own homes, with nobody around to wonder how the Hawke children knew so much about magic. Then Garrett had discovered his power and the twins had been fascinated, wondering what it was like, wondering if they would be magic too or if they’d be like their mother.

They shared so much that they always imagined they’d share their magic or lack thereof as well. But then Bethany had thrown somebody across a field trying to protect Carver and now he sometimes felt like he was losing her. Instead of the two of them playing together, she’d disappear with Garrett and their father to practice, doing Maker knows what, while he was left behind.

Now, instead of Carver and Bethany, a united force against the world, against Garrett, he was the one on the outside.

He’d tried so hard to make something magic happen, so that he could be like his sister, practicing with his father and his siblings, but no matter how hard he tried, how hard he’d practiced, nothing had ever happened. Bethany had told him how it felt, tried to teach him, but he was starting to lose hope.

“I don’t think anybody really knows how it works,” his father said. “It’s not always a blessing, Junior. It can be scary and dangerous and it’s forever. You’d always be looking over your shoulder, forever.”

Carver couldn’t help but think he didn’t care. He could face that danger with Bethany, both of them together. It wouldn’t matter, not if they were together. But instead, she was facing it alone.

“You have an important job too, Junior,” his father said. “There’s lots of ways to protect people without magic. Things you can learn to do when you don’t already have magic. Maybe we can practice those some more if you’d like to learn to fight.”

Carver looked at him, nodding with wide eyed enthusiasm. They’d done play fighting before but never proper teaching, and he liked the idea of that.

And what use would magic be against a sword? Maybe he’d finally get the upper hand on Garrett.

“Alright, tell you what, kiddo,” he said, ruffling Caver’s hair. “We head back and I’ll see what weapons I can find for you some time. You ready to go?”

“Can we start now?” asked Carver, still full of enthusiasm as he bounced to his feet. The rock in his pocket bounced against his leg as his father laughed.

“Maybe not today,” he said. “It’ll take time to find something and I’ll have a think about the best way we’re going to practice. I’m a little rusty with a sword, haven’t needed one much. But we’ll find something, won’t we, Carv?”

Carver nodded, a grin spreading across his face. Maybe he couldn’t do magic but he could protect his family in another way. Maybe he could be the best warrior in the Hawke family.

“You’ll still need to apologise to your brother and mother though.”

Carver frowned, his lower lip stuck out.

“Fine,” he said.

But even the idea of that, of admitting that he was wrong even though it was definitely Garrett’s fault, wasn’t enough to outshine his new excitement as he took his father’s hand and they headed home.

If being a mage was so dangerous, then maybe the reason he wasn’t one was because it was his job to keep his family safe instead.

Maybe he wasn’t ever meant to be Carver Hawke the mage.

Maybe he was meant to be Carver Hawke the warrior, protector of his family instead.

#i am once again emotional about #carver hawke #malcolm hawke #carver and malcolm #this idea barged its way into my head at 1:40pm on monday when i was driving to a work meeting #and it was written and finished less than 10 hours later lmao #gremfic

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theinvisibledreamergirl · 3 years ago

Text

Hopeless

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Klaw Craig)

Words count: >1.7k

Category: Angst

Warning: none

A.N: Well as per your request this is the awaited fic for you and maybe you didn’t expect it to be such this angsty. Let me know what do you think. This event starts after this post for everyone who’s not familiar with it.

———————————————————————

Klaw had never ran so fast in her life like now.

She had to do something.

Something to stop Simon from telling Dr. Ramsey about the Instagram photo she posted. And the reason?

Simple. After Dr. Ramsey admitted to her the infamous patient Mr. Nigel Platt- nothing went normal as she thought at first. Nigel had several symptoms that none of them concluded to a specific illness but leading to more questions than answers. Again this wasn’t the real problem.

Nigel’s attitude against her while questioning her abilities to handle this case, made her blood boiled despite she held a great poker face to him that everything seemed to go flowing. It was ironic this kind of situation happened again to her- when she confronted the mafia man Miles in her first day, the latter doing the same thing as Nigel. With all of her anger and frustration she blamed Dr. Ramsey for this and decided in a drunken state to create an emoji and to show off to people on Insta what an asshole he was. But when she got sobered like today, she was pleading that everyone would get it as joke and not something that should be taken seriously. Because it was a moment of anger okay? She didn’t know how to revenge to him because he was her attending after all. She couldn’t file a complaint to him. Right? After finishing this case she wanted to have a man to man talk and to understand why he assigned this kind of patient especially to her. Did she do anything wrong?

If yes, what?

Because of Dr. Banerji’s secret?

Her mind was fogged up with lots of questions while she was running in the halls of fifth floor- where his office was. When she turned the corner she bumped into nurse Sarah and apologised.

“Sarah do you know where’s Dr. Tennant?”

“Oh. I saw him with Dr. Ramsey while exiting the Diagnostics Office.”

“Shit.”

“Something wrong Dr. Craig?”

But Sarah didn’t have an answer as she saw the young intern run again. Klaw knew where the diagnostics was and her breath hitched when she saw the two doctors conversing with each other in such seriousness that made her shivering from fear. Then she saw Simon slipping from his white coat his phone and telling something to Ethan. But before that she lunged forward while shouting.

“STOP!”

Both attendees flinched when they heard her frantic voice and saw her raised hands while shaking. They frowned in confusion at her as the baritone voice asked.

“Dr. Craig what is this? Another stunt of yours?”

“No no please just hear me out because I know that I owe you an apology Dr. Ramsey.”

He raised a cold eyebrow. As always he would never change that reflex she thought. “Pray, tell.”

“Well... I think that you’re quite aware now what I’ve done so far and... I’m truly sorry for that. I mean... who in the world does the mockery of someone in social media that everyone starts to make fun of it? Me with a whiskey around yesterday decided to throw that thing but I fully regret it. So... I’m saying it again Dr. Ramsey that I’m sorry I posted that photo on Instagram and I promise to delete that immediately.”

“What’s that photo?” He asked in confusion while shaking his head. “Because I didn’t get this Rookie. Would you like to explain to me what the hell is even the Insane thing?”

“But weren’t you seeing it with Dr. Tennant right now? He was showing it to-”

“Uhm-” Simon cleared his throat. “Klaw, I was showing Ethan the tomography of our patient after we diagnosed him.” He turned his phone to her and immediately she wanted nothing more than to burn herself or hide somewhere because now she felt so screwed. “I wasn’t going to tell him y’know.” Then he snorted when he finally realised what her intention was.

“Excuse me, can someone right now tell me what in the hell is going on?” Ethan glared at them when he felt his anger building up seeing the interaction between these two and the fact that they were sharing a secret made him raged.

The young doctor gulped hardly when she lit up her phone, opened the app and showed it to her attending. But what made Ethan even more angry despite he was remaining calm all the time was the description she had written:

Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the icy blue-eyed Dr. Ethan Ramsey in his usual mood- killing the interns.

Even though it may sounded funny to someone’s else ears, he wasn’t killing anyone. Especially when he wanted to push her to be the best doctor and to learn by hard. But clearly to him, maybe it was a mistake for picking her so that was his final straw.

“My office.”

He gave her phone back while trailing off and Simon gave her an encouragement smile as if meaning that it was the usual one of the many Dr. Ramsey’s moods but for Klaw this was unusual.

Ethan didn’t even let the door open for her as he did always and slammed it forcefully in her face. And that was her final straw.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language Craig!”

“Do you even know moral codes or what?”

“I’m not going to learn from you because you clearly have absolutely no knowledge about them.”

“Are you really worried for such a stupid little thing? I told you I was drunk!”

“Do you really think that I care that much for an animated figure which clearly doesn’t represent me but just another stupid jokes of yours?”

“Well my jokes are better than your dryly and sophisticated ones.” He scoffed unbelievably, not seeing that his words were actually hurting her. “I want to be taken off the PITA’s case because in my opinion there’s nothing left for me to do with a man who doesn’t respect me as a doctor and doesn’t acknowledge my work showing his belligerency and rudeness.”

So that’s why she was angry at him. But that didn’t even make him change his mind. He wasn’t surprised to see her in this state of rage and for a mere of seconds he thought how cute she looked when she was serious and flushed. Ethan gave her an unamused smile, not interested in what she just said. “No.”

“I beg your pardon?” Her right pupil dilated slightly while she was frowning.

“You’ve had difficult patients before. Keep trying.”

His calmness was making her even more furious and before she could stop herself she came forward and slapped her hands in his desk, while facing him with a shaking breath. This of course caught him off guard and stood up from his chair doing the same as her.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Why are you punishing me?”

I’m not punishing you. I would never do that.

“Or is my saying right- that you enjoy to kill interns and make us suffer huh? Do you enjoy that?”

“You need to keep your personal feelings separate from your professional feelings Dr. Craig.” She tried to reply but was cut off. “I’d think very carefully before you say something to embarrass yourself.”

“Then why have you selected me this patient? For what reason?!”

“To challenge you, to push you to be the best doctor you can be! Don’t you get it already?”

Despite the closed door their voices could be heard loud and clear from outside. Their faces were in a close proximity without breaking their gazes to each other. Icy blue could see in dark fiery browns the embarrassment and the astonishment when she received his words. She understood now. It was never about Naveen’s secret that they were sharing. It was about her development that even after all of this he still thought of her.

For her best.

As a real attending should.

He sat on his chair with his crossed arms whereas she backed off a bit from his desk only to hear disappointment from him.

“When I make my evaluations every year... every intern that I’ve chosen were the best amongst the best and for that-” he flickered his eyes to her again with the coldest expression on his face that she had ever seen and shivered. “- I believed I saw a potential in you. It’s very rare that I’m wrong Rookie. But I’m willing to admit when I am... and I think I might have been wrong about you.”

The final words left her not only speechless but also breathtaking. She couldn’t feel her lungs as if everything stopped in that moment. Her heartbeats were giving her aches in her chest as she stared right back into his eyes- regret and pain. Ethan Ramsey regretted his intern right in front of her just like a slap in her face. That was the final cue from him that she wasn’t the best intern he had thought because this intern (she) had let him down.

Klaw shifted her left shoulder and broke eye contact with him while Ethan quirked sadly his mouth knowing her fully well anytime she got that nervousness. He got used to her and he hoped that these words would encourage to be better or otherwise- worse than now.

Deeply ashamed she couldn’t say another word and left his office without glancing back. She was determined to solve that case whatever that brat had and to prove once again that Dr. Craig or Rookie was the best intern he had chosen for the program.

Ethan sighed heavily when he opened his drawer to reveal her file that was the first of many others and stared down at her CV photograph that showed- bravery.

“You can do this Klaw.” He whispered to himself and for the first time he said her name which in Ethan’s horror wasn’t something good. He closed the file with a thud and put it back on his drawer while getting up from his chair to take a look in the window. He could feel his heartbeats quickening when he saw Klaw leaving with his patient Kyra who was trying to console her. At least she had friends to look after her.

Stop it Ethan. Stop thinking about her.

Reluctantly he pulled away from the window to busy himself with other important tasks so he would forget about piercing brown eyes.

#open heart #open heart fan fic #open heart fan fiction #my mc #klaw craig #ethan ramsey #klaw x ethan #ethan ramsey x mc #my writing

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thr-333 · 4 years ago

Text

Mismatch- Part 12

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020

Lila’s starting to fall, amazing what saving your classmates lives can do for their opinion of you

First < Previous > Next

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Marinette furiously scrunches up another failed sketch. Using her non dominant hand to start another design. It's a good thing she doesn't have any upcoming commissions because of the tour. Even so the distraction, no matter how infuriating, beats watching Marion's ragged breaths.

Tikki is resting on his chest, something they had learnt helps them heal faster. This meant that Plagg was forced to sulk in the corner. Pretending to enjoy the cheese, sneaking worried looks at his holder.

“Marinette look!” Tikki squeaks, as she throws another sketch away.

Marion eyelids start to flutter, Marinette leans over him, sketchbook hitting the ground. He opens his eyes and groans before rolling to his side, followed by a hiss of pain.

“Stay still you stupid cat!” Marinette gently but firmly forces him to sit back.

“Not stupid,” Marion sleepily slurs, sinking into the hospital bed.

“Reckless then,” Marinette schools the smile off her face as Plagg zips over to him.

“No I’m not,” He glares with sudden clarity, “Day?”

She rolls her eyes standing to open the curtains.

“Why yes it is,” Marinette smirks as he cringes at the light.

“What day?” His cringe turns back to a glare, completely unintimidating with the small Kwami curled against him.

“Don’t worry, they put you under for the night, for your system to work out all the fear toxin,” Marinette closes the curtains slightly, coming to sit on the chair next to him.

“Akuma?” Marion tries to bring his hands up to pet Plagg,

“Nope, I finally got some rest without you,” Plagg huffs, not moving away from Marion's touch.

“Arm?” Marion turns to Marinette, still smothering Plagg.

“Fine, it’s probably mostly healed, clean break,” That was probably stretching it, but it doesn't make much difference.

“Scarecrow?” Marion's expression turns dark.

“Prison,” Marinette probably mirrors his expression.

“... anything else I need to know?” He asks, shifting a little higher.

“Still and idiot,” Marinette picks her sketchbook back up, smoothing out the pages.

“Well it's great to see you accepting your-”

“Marion! You're awake!” Aunt Selina is standing in the doorway, she covers the distance in the blink of an eye. Almost as fast as their Kwami’s manage to hide.

“-fault,” Marion glares over their Aunts shoulder at Marinette.

“What was that?” Selina leans back, a slight smirk.

“Nothing,” Marion doesn’t stop giving the stink eye.

“Are you ok?” Their Aunt asks, checking Marion over.

“Yeah I feel fine,” Marion pushes her away gently, but it’s enough for her to lean back. Looking over him with a more cool expression.

“Hmm… I suppose bullet proof armour under your clothes would lessen the damage,” She says casually.

“Well yeah obvious-” Marion starts, stopping as they both realise at the same time;

“It’s a fashion statement!”

“This is Gotham?”

Their Aunt raises a brow. Their panic, wide eyes and wild gestures obviously painting the picture of innocence.

“Alright then, I won't press, already told the doctors your parents are just paranoid,” She leans back on her arms propping her up on Marion’s bed.

“Maman! Papa! Are they-”

“It’s fine, I called them,” Selina holds up a hand to calm his outburst, “Convinced them not to ship you back to Paris, told them they had nothing to worry about,”

“Unfortunately that is a lie,” Bruce Wayne walks in, a pensive frown aimed at his fiance's casual shrug.

“Hello Mr Wayne,” Marinette greets formally, standing.

“Bruce, please, how are you two feeling?” He gestures Marinette to sit back down, standing by her chair.

“A-ok” Marion gives the thumbs up, far too quickly for someone with broken ribs, “Ow,”

“Don’t worry I checked with the doctors there's no brain damage this is just unfortunately how he usually is,” Marinette deadpans, hoping to ease his worry.

“I must apologise, I didn’t expect these rumours to get so out of hand,” Bruce's expression is twisted with guilt, as Marion slowly brings his arms back down.

“It’s not your fault, kind of strange they took that risk for a rumour,” Marion shrugs, not unlike how their Aunt did, who is now forcing him to lie back down.

“Not really considering you basically confirmed it,” Marinette rolls her eyes.

“I did no such thing,” Marion gasps dramatically as if she insulted his very honour. Something, in her opinion, he gave up a long time ago to make puns.

“Here,” Marinette brings out her phone, pulling up a clip from the previous morning. Fast forwarding to the part where Marion tells the camera; “Bruce Wayne is our Father,”

“Oh,” Marion blinks at the screen a few times before turning to Bruce, “I’d like the record to state that was taken out of context,”

“Doesn’t matter to the press, their vultures, the attack is all they care to talk about,” Aunt Selina spits venomously, eyes honing in on Marinette's cast.

“I’ve held off on making an official statement without your approval,” Bruce informs, undercurrents of anger almost undetectable, “If you’d like I can organise our lawyers to come visit you here,”

“Thank you, that would be great,” Marinette beams, taking him aback, “Or um, not great, but-uh… appreciated- yeah that,”

“I’ll send them over whenever suits you,” Bruce gives a slight smile back, making hers beam brighter.

“Thanks, wait a minute- how long am I going to be in the hospital!” Marion whips around to Marinette.

“Hopefully long enough to stay out of trouble,” Selina ruffles his hair, not that it makes much difference at this point.

“My whole life!?” Marion shouts, only half joking.

“Not if you don’t keep running into dangerous situations,” Selina retorts, booping his nose.

“Technically this one came running at me,” Marion grouches, entering a staring contest with their Aunt.

“Ah-ha,” She mocks, meeting his challenge, as always, winning.

“Sooo- what's everyone been doing,” Marion turns to Marinette, eyes only slightly watery.

“I basically had to push Kagami out of the hospital this morning to go on todays tour,” Marinette smiles, willing to give Marion this out, “Chloe texted me a bit ago saying they were heading here,”

“They’re going to kill me for almost getting killed, aren't they,” Marion whines, Marinette is sure he catches Bruce’s flinch.

“Yep,”

“Make sure my gravestone says ‘living it up’,” Marion says as seriously as, well, death.

“I’d rather throw your body in the river,” Marinette inspects her nails, leaning back in her seat.

“If I go missing tell Batman she's the primes suspect,” Marion turns to their Aunt, not learning his lesson, and pointing at Marinette with a hiss of pain.

“I will,” Selina chuckles, and Marinette swears she sees Bruce's lips quirk.

“Mari!” Chloe runs through the door in a blonde blur, which splits, and oh that's Adrien. Both basically tackle Marion.

“Ow! No! That is the opposite of making me feel better,” Marion curses, both latching on either side.

“Deal with it I saved your ass,” Chloe snaps, Marinette sees her grip loosen slightly.

“I thought that was Kagami?” Marion looks over at her, Kagami was standing inside the room, behind her waiting at the door stood the rest of the class, “Or at least a Yokai that looked like her,”

“Pssh, I helped too, I was Queen Bee after all,” Chloe sits up, flicking her hair out.

“Yeah with the train-” Marinette begins.

“Enough about the train!” Chloe explodes, releasing Marion.

“I think this is our cue to leave,” Their Aunt stands, leaning over Marion and giving his forehead kiss, “I love you two so much, be good my little adorable munchkins! I’ll be back later”

“I wuv you sooooo much too Aunty,” Marion teases her right back in an overly cutesy voice.

“You’re no fun,” She sighs, smirk still firmly in place, “See ya,”

She and Bruce walk out the door, class making way for them.

“You are sure you are quite alright,” Kagami comes to stand by the head of the bed, opposite side to Marinette.

“Yes Kags I’m fine,” Marion smiles brightly, still being smothered by Adrien.

“Good,” She hits him over the head, making him yelp, “That was well deserved,”

“Yeah, probably,” Marion grumbles, hand instinctively raising to his head, followed by a grimace.

“Come on Kagami he’s already been hurt enough,” Adrien frets over Marion, letting him go.

“Thank you Adrien! My one true friend! In my time of need, you're always there for me!” Marion bring his arms around Adrien, smothering the other.

“I fought Scarecrow for you!” Chloe roars, Adrien not trying to get free from Marion.

“Adrien was moral support,” Marion pouts, hugging him closer.

“You’re impossible,” Chloe throws her hands up, falling back on the bed.

“Why thank you,” Marion does a mock bow as much as he is able.

Someone clears their throat, Marinette looking over at the door. The rest of the class were still standing at the door. Alix holding up a bag of chips, awkwardly waving. Everyone else also holding some sort of snack, minus Lila. Marinette glances at Marion, who just shrugs, releasing Adrien.

“You can come in, but it might be a bit squished,” Marinette smiles amicably.

“That's fine, dude,” Nino smiles back, ushering the class inside.

The class all take their seats, most having to perch on armrests or the edge of the bed. Each dropping snacks at the foot of it.

“I meant what I said and won't take it back, we aren’t friends,” Marion fixes those in the class that apply with a stern look.

Marinette could tell he wasn't angry, but a few snacks was not enough to mend the bridges burnt. Marion won’t let them forget that. The class shifts awkwardly, sharing glances. What do you say to that?

“Then why did you protect us?” Kim speaks up, apparently that.

“Because it was the right thing to do,” Marion fixes them with an intense gaze, making it clear he meant every word. Alix clears her throat.

“Well then this is a meeting as a class, and a thanks for saving our butts, both of you,” Alix gives a smile from her perch on the bed railing.

“Alright then,” Marion says seriously, before taking on a joking tone, “Mostly cause I just realised I haven't eaten anything since that horrible cereal yesterday,”

“Hey!” Adrien exclaims, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Marion, Chloe squeezed in on Marion's other side. Both leaning off the edge slightly to not put pressure on his ribs.

“Sorry Adrien, but your taste buds have the intelligence of a two year old mistaking pure sugar as an actually good taste,” Marion sneers, as if he can still taste it.

“You’re a bakery snob, you know that?” Adrien grumbles, crossing his arms and sinking down further.

“Sure do,” Marion teases, the rest of the class shifting uncomfortably.

Marinette had to guess they didn’t realise just how far they had drifted apart, the divide now startlingly clear.

“Well hopefully these please your majesties pallet,” Nathaniel tries to break into the banter.

Marion playfully sneers down at the pile, getting a few giggles. Alix starts throwing snacks to everyone. Giving Marinette a bag of cookies, she can’t help but smile, especially at Marion's downright insulted look as he’s passed a wheel of camembert.

“Such peasant food,” He tries to offload the cheese on Adrien, who practically falls off the bed to avoid it.

“That's ok, Lila said she was bringing a specially prepared dish by the top chef of the most popular restaurant in Gotham,” Rose squeals excitedly, unintentionally running both their moods.

“I did but just outside the hospital was a poor, sick, homeless man, he begged me for any food I had," translated from Lila speak roughly means; I ate it, "I thought Marion would understand that some people actually needed food enough to not turn the nose up at anything,”

The class gives their assurance and praise. Marion's eyes narrow, unwrapping the cheese and just straight up taking a bite. Marinette spots Plagg being held back by Klakki and Tikki, hiding behind their bags. He chews on it bitterly downright glaring at Lila.

“Dude you were totally badass!” Nino breaks into Marion's brooding.

“Was I? Everything's kinda a blur, especially after the fear toxin,” Marion directs Nino's attention elsewhere, dropping the wheel of cheese off the edge of the bed, into Plaggs waiting arms.

“You were so cool, it was all bam! and swoop!” Kim stands up, badly reenacting punching the air.

“Ah yes, that clears it up, thank you,” Marion says sarcastically, letting Adrien pass him a bag of chips to drown out the taste of camembert.

“Where did you learn to fight like that?” Alix leans forward, interest sparking in her eyes.

“Ah- Maman taught us of course,” Marinette answers, it was sort of true.

“She can be scary,” Kim shivers, having a selection of memories to choose from.

“Bring her to Gotham, we wouldn’t have problems like this anymore,” Nino lightly pouches Adrien's shoulder in place of Marion, leaning against the wall next to them.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she was Ladybug,” Chloe muses, well they were both people she truly respected.

“Haha… yeah,” Marinette sweat drops, trying(and failing) to look unfazed.

“I have to say,” No you really don’t Lila, “I was surprised to see you two fight, you usually just up and run away whenever there's an Akuma attack, I guess you had no choice but to act brave this time,”

“They’ve helped out plenty of times during Akuma attacks,” Nino looks puzzled, oblivious to Lila's glowering.

“Yeah didn’t we tell you about how Marinette became class president?” Mylene asks, eating a snack that was probably organic contrast to the sugary monstrosities before them.

“Oh of course, but if they could fight this well all this time then they should be helping Ladybug and Chat Noir, god knows they need it,” Lila’s malice hinting at her own mention of the heroes.

“Nah, the dudes can handle themselves, it’s better not to get in their way,” Nino shrugs, hitting himself in the face with a snack he was trying to catch.

“Well unless they ask,” No one else catches the moment realisation(scheming) crosses Lila’s face “And I know for a fact Ladybug did,”

“Really!” Alya turns to Lila before whirling around to Marinette.

“Um, yeah! Ladybug once asked me to be Multimouse, to help beat Kwami buster,” Marinette answers before Alya can take out her phone.

“That is so cool! Why didn’t you tell me!” Alya’s enthusiasm is not nearly as potent as Lila’s malice.

“Because she asked me not to tell, but if Lila is going to tell everyone anyway there isn’t much point,” Marinette shrugs, her brother hiding a grin, Lila started this war but she could win this battle. “Marion saw me detransform so Ladybug can’t give me a miraculous ever again,”

“Well no wonder she chose you, you were so brave and cool, you were beating Scarecrow with a broken arm, even before Batman showed up!” Nathaniel speaks up, always the fan of superheroes.

“Didn’t he seem rather mad at you?” Lila asks(not so) innocently. ‘Wow she's really giving this her all’ Marinette muses, trying even when they are put in the hospital.

“I think it was likely aimed more at the guy holding us hostage,” Max states like a fact, slightly condescending.

“Of course, but it would have never happened if they didn’t spread the rumour in the first place,” Lila pushes as if they need a reminder.

“Uh, Lila I don’t think they did,” Rose says sweetly, pink frosting somehow ends up on her nose.

“What!” Lila snaps, making poor Rose jump, and others look surprised.

“Well they said they didn't, and Marinette's really smart,” Juleka mumbles, glaring at Lila.

“Hey!” Marion exclaims, getting a giggle from Rose.

“And Marion!” Juleka quickly amends.

“Now you just sound insincere,” Marion slouches down, sniffing theatrically. Juleka relaxes as Chloe teasingly patronises him in her own loving way.

“Something like that is really dangerous,” Mylene tells Lila gently. As if trying to explain to a child what they did wrong.

“No one would wish it on themselves,” Ivan backs up his girlfriend. Lila clearly looking for an opening to try and gain the advantage back.

“Marion almost died,” Kim says bluntly, honestly.

There is a long silence. They were all thinking it but none dared speak it. Even Lila lets the silence loom, nothing she could say would make them look worse and her better.

“So… what did you all do today?” Marinette tries to cut the uneasy silence.

“We went to the city library,” She of course knew that.

“That reminds me, I got out some books I thought you’d like, since your stuck in bed and everything,” Nino passes a book to each twin.

“Thanks,” Marion lets Adrien take the book for him, leaning over to look at the cover Marinette couldn’t see.

“Oh actually I did too!” Rose reaches into her pink bag.

“Me too,” Alix laughs, passing Marinette a history book.

Then everyone else reaches into their bags pulling out more books, giggling sheepishly.

“Oh no, I am going to be here forever aren’t I?” Marion stares in dismay at the accumulated pile, flopping miserably against Adrien.

“We’ll try our best,” Adrien promises, patting his head.

“Selina, do you want to explain to me why your Nephew was able to go toe to toe with Scarecrow, while under fear toxin,” Bruce asks in his, I already know the answer but for some reason I want you to say it, tone. Not even a minute after talking with the doctor.

“Do you want to explain to me how neither you or Robin realised he was under fear of toxin?” She deflects, heels clicking down the halls quickly.

“I believe this circles back to how he can operate under fear toxin,” Bruce growls.

“I don’t know Bruce!” She explodes, more dramatically to get him to drop it, but none the less true, “I taught them a thing or two sure! Some martial arts, parkour, stealing under the guise of magic!”

“What was that last one?” He asks, stopping.

“Not important!” She snaps, continuing on her rant, turning fully towards him, “But I never thought they could do something like that! How and why are they acting like it’s no big deal!”

“Selina, it’s ok,” He pulls her into a hug. She lets her lips curl slightly, that might be the quickest she’s been able to end an argument, short of jumping off a roof. “I’ll find out,”

“... They’re too much like you Bruce,” Selina leans into her fiance's chest, she could swear everyday the children looked more like him.

“Is that a bad thing?” He asks, obliviously.

“In this case? It's dangerous,” She answers honestly, pausing before stepping back, “I need to call their parents,”

He nods, giving a chaste kiss before leaving her alone in the hall. She sits down, staring down at her phone for a long time.

“Aunt Selina?” Her chest twists painfully.

“Whats up Kitten, where are your friends,” She smiles at her so-called Niece, a word she avoided like the plague. That is to say, she tries but there's always a rat around to ruin everything.

“Oh I told them I had to go to the bathroom,” Marinette's bright smile betraying her.

“But,” Selina prompts as Marinette sits next to her.

“I’m actually celebrating,” She practically squeals.

“Why's that?” She asks, amused and warmed by her daughter's excitement.

“The kingdoms crashing down and the queens still inside,” Marinette says in a sing song voice.

“Should I be worried you sound so joyful?” Not that she actually would be.

“It’s a wicked Queen who abuses her power and makes her subjects miserable,” It’s teasing, but there is nothing artificial about the words.

“Party away,” Selina leans back, flipping her wrist.

“Knew you’d understand,” Marinette hugs her, letting her lean into it.

“I’ll always be here for you Kitten,” Selina brushes the hair out of her daughters face, “Now go, you don’t want to miss the show,”

Her smile is nothing compared to the one plastered on Marinette's face as she bounces away with a small wave. With a sigh Selina leans back, staring down at her phone. It could’ve been minutes, it could of been hours, but she hits call eventually.

“Hey there,” She greets, betraying nothing about the conversation to come. “Just wanted to let you know Marion is awake, just as sassy as usual,”

“Sassy, I just beat you at mecha strike three? Or you started the banter and he’s just matching you,” Tom asks, dusting flour off his hands as Sabine holds the phone.

“Brother dearest, how little do you think of me?” She asks in mock hurt, Tom raises an eyebrow, “Great, thanks,”

“Do you think we can call them?” Sabine asks.

“They’re with their friends right now so I wouldn’t, I think this has been a long time coming,” She thinks back to what Marinette said, the rude girl from their reunion at the Wayne tower coming to mind, “And it's not the only thing... look, I lied,”

“The shock of the century,”

“Tom!” Sabine swats at her husband, from past sparring matches with Sabine she knows she can do a lot worse.

“No, no he’s right, as much as it pains me to say it,” She sneers playfully at her brother, getting one in return. She hesitate before sharing, “The twins were actually specifically attacked by Scarecrow,”

“Why!?” They both burst out.

“Because everyone thinks Bruce Wayne is their Father…” Selina cringes at their surprised expressions, which are about to get a lot worse. “And their right,”

“I thought you didn’t know the Father?” Tom asks after a long pause, not accusingly but eerily calm.

“... I lied,” She shrugs, letting the awkwardness she usually keeps leashed leak through. Gina had practically raised them together, he knows how to see right through her better than most.

“This might actually be the shock of the century,” Tom nods, he doesn't seem mad, great thing about him reading her it works both ways.

“... Yeah,” She shrugs, letting the silence hang, long enough for them to process.

“You should tell them,” Sabine declares, so much assurance in such a small woman.

“What!” Selina stands in shock, making jerking gestures, “Sabine that not what I-”

“Hush now, let me speak,” Sabine chides, actually making her pause, “We will always be their parents, but that's only because of you,”

Selina goes to argue, but a stern glare is all the discouragement she needs. Tom is nodding along, of course! They’ve probably discussed this before

“It’s only right that you don’t have to look in pain every time they call you Aunt,” Apparently she was able to read Selina just as well as her husband, “It’s your choice, but they have enough love in their heart for more than just us,”

She tries, dammit she tries, but it’s not enough to stop the flood of emotions manifesting in tears.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #bio dad bruce wayne #Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020 #Mismatch #Marinette #marinette is mdc #twins au #vigilante au #pop star au #bio dad au #bio! dadbrucewaynemonth2020 #b!dbwm2020 #Maribat #mlb

216 notes · View notes

yyxgin · 4 years ago

Text

eternity is a sandcastle

-> pairing: min yoongi x reader

-> genre: angst, break-up au

-> words: 2k

-> warnings: break-up, a slight argument, a lot of angsty thoughts and internal monologue, my own view of love that was portraied to me by my parents cough cough thanks mum and dad, i gave it a happy-ish?? ending tho

— if this is this kind of nightmare, I won’t ever wake up

Your cold cup of coffee is the only thing accompanying your late morning, your gaze pinned into the half-empty porcelain, wondering when and why this exactly went wrong.

But staring into your coffee will never really bring you the answers, will it?

You see your boyfriend approaching the kitchen, like a slow cat just woken up from a slumber, getting a cup on his own and pouring some cold americano into it, drinking it on one go and quickly escaping the room, not even bothering to say good morning.

You should have expected this, really. But it still hurts the same, even though you see it coming.

Love gets taken for granted. Love feels ordinary after some time, love gets boring, like it’s a thing that will always be there no matter what you do. Min Yoongi knows you’ll always be there. He knows you love him and it’s simple, it’s given. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just that you don’t feel like living knowing that your love gets taken for a commodity, that it became banal, just an everyday thing that is just there and nobody has to work for it.

Min Yoongi loves you. At least, that’s how it always have been. Min Yoongi loves you and you love Min Yoongi with everything that is in you.

You get used to it quickly.

Yoongi got used to it quickly.

Just three years ago, you were a happy couple. You went on dates every other week, told each other you loved one another, complimented each other on the most common, but yet still so beautiful things. Everything was amazing. Your relationship was just starting and blooming like the beatiful flowers he gave you every other day, like the butterflies that flew around your stomach in happy formations every moment you’ve spent with him.

Two years ago, you were still a happy couple. You decided to live together. That alone brought you moments of unconditional love, just watching your loved one washing the dishes or cooking breakfast to bed for you. Cleaning together was fun. Everything used to be fun. You celebrated your anniversery together with cheap wine and your chill spotify playlist playing in the background, giggling at old memories you still so deepy cherished inside of your head.

Six months ago, it started changing. Yoongi started staying late in the studio. You saw him less and less. He never expected you to get angry with him for not taking care of himself. He never expected you to disagree with him in many ways, like how to organise your socks in the drawer and wheter you need to paint the walls or if it can wait to the next year.

Yoongi never expected you to have different opinion. He never expected you to show him that you are not just something he can always count on, because even though it was true and you were always there for him in his darkest of times, you weren’t there just to be his companion, you were there to be a person he loved.

And he didn’t show you that quite enough.

There were no roses. No dates. No laughs. No movie nights spent together, because even that caused pointless arguments over what to watch in the TV. There was no fun. No spark.

And everyting was just because you two quickly got used to your love for another. And love is never something you want to get used to.

You need to take love as a wonderful emotion you’re lucky to feel. As a miracle. You need to cherish it and mold it, try to grow in love with the person you hold it for. You can’t just take love for granted. Because one day, the love you expect to be there, because you’re so used to it already, won’t be there to hold you when you’re down.

Because when you needed the dates, the love and the laughs, he just expcted you to be fine without them.

— eternity is a sandcastle

Min Yoongi lived his whole life with the image that love is forever. That once you find a person that completes you, loves you as your whole and never wants to lose you, they will stay with you forever. For eternity.

That’s what he thought.

“Yoongi, you don’t understand.” you mumble, not even sounding angry anymore, just plain tired.

“What am I supposed to understand? Don’t you care about me anymore?” he furrows his brows, very much confused about your sudden confession.

“That’s the whole point, Yoongi. I care about you too much,” you sigh, your gaze soft, but holding all the emotions he never expected you to hold in your eyes, feeling like a thunderstorm is going on inside of him at the sight of you, “that’s why we’re having this conversation.”

“What do you want from me?” he asks, taking a seat.

“I want you to stop treating me like a certainity.” you say into the quiet room, watching his expression change.

“I am not..”

“Yes you are, Yoongi. I am always here for you, right? I cook for you, I wash for you, I clean for you, I am here in the evening when you come home from work. And I don’t ask for anything in return, I really don’t, but you know, just a thank you from time to time could be enough to make me feel like I’m wanted, and not just needed.” you explain, wanting to see some reasoning in the conversation.

“But you know I love you, so where’s the point?”

“Do I really, though? How can I even know? You always come home late. You don’t even say good morning to me when you wake up anymore. We don’t talk like we used to. We don’t go on dates, you don’t even kiss me when you go, there’s no reason for me to know if you still love me or not.” your calm, but pained expression makes him furrow his brows.

“Is this about dates? You want to go on dates? Recieve gifts?” laughs Yoongi, as if the conversation was amusing in a way.

“No, Yoongi, I need you to show me that you care. That you just didn’t get used to all of this, that you don’t take me for granted,” you throw your hands in the air, expecting your significant other to undertsand you just this once.

“And dates is how I need to do it? Y/n, I’m a busy man, I don’t have time for that anymore…”

“You don’t have time for me, yeah?” you point out, defeated.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know that.”

“But that’s how it feels.”

And today, Min Yoongi learned that the forever he had in you, the certainity, the so ordinary love he’s always had by his side, is like a sandcastle.

Perhaps he was the sea that crumbled the dusts of sand that held it up all together.

— meet me in that memory that was once beautiful

Yoongi was the sea. And you were the shore.

You were the grounding point for him. You were the person he cherished the most, you were his source of hapiness he so stupidly took for granted all this time.

The memories he has with you pain him in a way. The time you danced around together in the beach as the sun set, the time you had a snow fight in the winter in his parent’s back yard, the time he got you breakfast in bed for the first time while living together. These moments are the ones he needed to cherish, yet he learned that just when he realised that he’ll never make another one of these with you.

Because you left for better things.

Perhaps to teach him a lesson.

But that’s okay, because that’s what love is supposed to do anyways.

He knows you have a new job. And he knows you don’t expect him to come for a visit there. There is no secret in the fact that you turned to erase him from your life all together, taking all your things with you in a course of a week and finding yourself a new job, cutting him off and everything that ever tied you to the man.

You did it so you could grow.

But he knows that he can never really stay away from you.

So when he sees your shocked face behind the counter of the coffee shop for the first time in weeks, his heart thumps just like when he asked you on a date for the first time, reminding him of the love that never dissapeared from his heart.

“Hi.” he greets you, trying to sound casual.

“Hello. What would you like to order?” you ask, pretending to be unbothered by his presence. He was a stranger to you. Just a customer.

“Um… one iced americano, please.” he responds, scratching the back of his neck, suddenly flustered by your cold exterior. Of course you know he’d order this. You still know him like the back of your own hand.

“I’ll be right back.” you nod, turning to make his coffee for him. Just like the old times. It’s almost funny, how it was always you doing things for him, and rarely the other way around. Even after your break-up, nothing really changed, it seems.

Once you have his order ready and hand it to him with a bored look on your face, asking for 5 dollars for your work, he picks up the little courage he has left in him, looking into your face and asking you the thing he came here for in the first place.

“Can we please talk?”

Your expression doesn’t change as you answer his request. “I am working.”

“And after you close?” he bites down on his bottom lip, desperately needing to have you back beside him, like the old times.

“Nothing really changed, huh?” you scoff, “It’s still just you asking me to do exactly what you want, expecting me to always be there when you want.” you reply.

“I- it’s not like that, y/n-”

“Goodbye,” you say, looking at the next customer, bringing a cheerful expression onto your beatiful face, “Hello, what is your order?”

Yoongi sighs deeply as he exits the coffee shop, a deep frown plastered onto his face. He was defeated for the first time. Rejected.

He doesn’t know you’re watching him from the window. He doesn’t need to know.

As he sips on his americano, done just the way he likes it, he decides to come back tomorrow. To not give up on his fight. He didn’t even expect it to be so easy in the first place. That would be silly, wouldn’t it?

He takes the empty plastic cup with him, placing it on his desk, deciding to keep every single one until he wins you back again. He will come back every single day, if it meant for you to trust him again. He will bring you flowers, like the old times. Give you attention. Ask you on dates. It will be slow, but he will get there. Because if you’ve taught him something, it’s to grow. And to be a better person.

And just like he is the sea that washed away your sand castle, he is the sea that always comes back to kiss the shore.

He stares onto the grey walls you painted together last year, desperate to keep his promise.

He won’t ever take you for granted again.

Tomorrow, he will come back. To win his forever. To win his love. To work on it.

Because that’s all you asked him for in the first place.

Will you build the sandcastle together again?

#btswritingcafe #kafenetwork #bts imagine #bts angst #bts au #bts scenario #bts fic #bts fanfiction #bts reaction #bts fanfic #bts drabble #yoongi imagine #yoongi angst #yoongi au #yoongi scenario #yoongi drabble

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thisdreamplace · 3 years ago

Note

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

#eiypo

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the-cheese-writes · 4 years ago

Text

I'll listen ~ Intrulogical

TW: Shouting, angst, crying

Word count: 1279

{Masterpost}

----------

“Why can’t they listen? They never LISTEN!” Logan shouted, his voice drenched in rage and frustration, as he threw a pebble across the lake. He hated being this way.

‘You’re so pathetic, Logan,’ he thought to himself, collapsing on his knees whilst a stream of tears cascaded down his cheeks.

‘You’re the embodiment of literal logic. Why can’t you control your emotions better? Why do you even have emotions anyway?!’ he scolded himself, taking off his glasses, tossing them to the side then holding his face in his hands. The tears felt like they would never stop and as he knelt there, exhausted and exasperated, for once in his life, he didn’t care about what was happening around him. All his surroundings faded away as all his overflowing anger spilled from his body, leaving Logan in his own black void of shame.

“Why can’t they just listen?”

Not too far away, Remus was busy in the fields, burning trees and setting anything he could see on fire. He grinned excitedly at the flaming forest before him, proud at the amount of destruction he caused. The way he saw it, he was giving his brother a favour because now he had something to do and he needed some fresh air. It was the only way Remus could get him outside anyway…

Satisfied with the chaos he created, Remus started to calm down and take a simple stroll through The Imagination. Though he typically craved discord, he wasn’t completely psychotic and still enjoyed peaceful moments to himself, like everyone else. (In truth, the only psychotic thing about him was the way he ate cereal.)

The Duke couldn’t be bothered to think about where to go, so he let his feet carry him, taking him where they wanted to; they were always able to take him somewhere interesting. Today, however, wasn’t to be like any other.

As he approached a lake, he spotted a certain logical side standing by it. Curious, Remus stepped closer, but stayed out of the clearing and hid behind the trees. As he neared him, Remus could see that he was shaking. Tilting his head, he silently questioned why, but he soon got his answer when Logan suddenly chucked a stone across the water.

Remus’ eyes followed it as it pierced through the air, moving more forward than higher, before it ultimately hit the water’s surface on the other side of the lake. Impressed by his strength, Remus’ started to blush. Ever since his first encounter with Logan, he had always had a small crush on him, which gradually swelled over the years, so seeing him do that didn’t help at all.

When he turned his head back to Logan, he realised that he had fallen to his knees, sobbing. Remus contemplated going up to comfort him; he didn’t want to make him feel worse and all he ever seemed to do was ruin everything. But, by instinct, he suddenly started to move towards him.

Logan continued to cry, sensing his presence but too exhausted to put up a front anymore. “Why can’t they just listen?” he whispered, not intending for anyone to hear. Unluckily for him though, someone did.

“I’ll listen.” Logan heard a quiet voice to his left say. He snapped his head up, looking towards the source. Seeing Remus there, he immediately stood up, brushing himself off then readjusting his tie.

“Apologies, Remus I-” he cut himself off when he opened his eyes, realising his vision was blurry. He turned a couple times, looking for his glasses as best as he could whilst he squinted. Noticing them discarded to the side, Remus retrieved them for him, picking up then returning back to his previous spot in front of him.

“Looking for these?” he said, showing them to Logan.

“Oh, yes. Tha-” Logan reached out to take them back, but Remus lifted them higher and gently placed them back on his face.

Logan smiled at him softly. “Thank you.”

Remus looked down shyly for a moment, but when he looked back up, a devastated, broken expression was painted on the logical side’s face.

“Logan? What was all that about?” the Duke asked, his eyes filled with concern and sympathy. Logan’s eyes flickered up to him for a moment, before he sighed he sighed heavily and turned away.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know where it all came from. I should really learn to control myself better,” the logical side said firmly, as if he was castigating himself. Furrowing his eyebrows, Remus walked round and stood right back in front of him.

“Oh no, I think you’re controlling yourself enough,” he said, putting his hands on his hips, but his slightly angry facade faded when he saw how numb Logan seemed to be.

“You said ‘they don’t listen’,” Remus changed the subject. “Who’s ‘they’?”

“Anyone who doesn’t listen. Which is basically everyone,” Logan responded half-heartedly. “They just don’t understand! No one does!” he raised his voice, throwing his hands in the air.

“What do you mean?”

“No one knows what it feels like to be ignored so much. Sure, they aren’t listened to either from time to time but majority of the time, I’m just pushed aside. No matter what I do, I can never be heard! It’s like I’m… I’m-”

“Trapped in your own maze of your own thoughts with no hope of an escape,” Remus finished, turning to Logan with a sad smile. The logical side looked at him surprisingly, not expecting him to pinpoint precisely how it felt.

“Y-yes. That’s exactly what it’s like,” Logan said in an astonished, but calmer voice. “How did you know?”

“You think you’re the only one who never gets their voice heard?” Remus replied in a lighter tone, sitting down cross-legged and facing the lake. Logan followed him and sat next to him.

“I suppose I never considered-”

“No, no one ever does. But I don’t blame them. With a riotous, uncontrollable persona like mine, who would want to listen, am I right?” the Duke chuckled softly. “Most of the time, I don’t even know why I’m here.”

The air around them suddenly grew a little colder and as he hung his head, Logan stared at the grass gloomily. “I ask myself the exact same question day after day,” he muttered, not intending for Remus to hear. Nonetheless, he did anyway.

“What do you mean? You’re Thomas’ logic, if you ask me you’re needed the most.”

“Thank you, Remus. You seem to be the only one who thinks so.”

“Better one than none.” Logan smiled at Remus, genuinely thankful and glad that he was there with him. The Duke looked down shyly, and grinned to himself.

Sighing relievedly, Logan turned towards the lake, content and finally at peace, even if it was to be for a short while. Hearing him sigh and seeing him at ease again, Remus assumed that he wanted to be left alone now, so he got up to leave. But a firm grip to his wrist stopped him.

“Where are you going?” Logan asked, his head tilted slightly.

“I thought you wanted some time to yourself?” Remus replied, his voice hinted with sadness. Noticing it, Logan pulled him a little closer, comfort wrapped around his grip.

“Well, some company wouldn’t hurt. Besides, I don’t mind your’s.”

Remus grinned and returned to his place by Logan’s side. He then decided to take a wary step forward and hesitantly leaned his head on the logical side’s shoulder. When he didn’t reject, Remus fully relaxed and allowed himself to share this blissful moment with Logan.

For the first time in a long time in his life, he loved being him.

#sanders sides #fanfic #sanders sides fanfic #brewrites #logan sanders #remus sanders #intrulogical #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort

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whumpzone · 4 years ago

Text

Tomas and Rowe - Part 1

this is the first part of a story I’m working on; it will be full of my fav whump trope, which is the whumpee being safe but not realising and doing their best to serve their new Master. There will also be some no-nonsense whump in later chapters for good measure!!

CW: pet whumpee, dehumanisation, references to past abuse, vomiting from fear, swearing

Tomas’s phone rang and he jumped. He’d been waiting for the call all week. "Hello?" he answered, trying to sound calm.

"Hey, man." The deep voice was unmistakably his friend, Kasia. "You still up for rehoming a pet? We just got one in this morning."

Tomas squeezed his free hand in excitement. Ever since he’d started working from home, he’d been wishing he had something to keep him company. This was perfect. "Yes, absolutely. How did you get it?"

"Well, we buy them from their owners, y’know. So it’s all legal. And you won’t have any angry owner coming after you wondering why you stole their pet," Kasia laughed, and Tomas guessed that’s exactly what used to happen. "This one looks rough, though. I’m glad we got ‘em before they just got dumped in the street. I’ll text you the payment details now. Listen, I hope you don’t mind, but we’re mad busy today. Big pet auction on. Is it okay if I just drop it outside your house? I can’t stop for chat."

"No, no, that’s fine. I’ve got everything ready," said Tomas, glancing at the cage, collar and lead he’d bought.

"Okay, see you soon!" Kasia hung up just as Tomas realised he didn’t even know what kind of animal he was getting. He knew Kasia’s group would just give him what they had, so he’d bought a fairly large cage just to be sure. In a way, not knowing made him even more excited. And his heart warmed at the idea of giving a pet that would otherwise be chucked out a good home. He sent Kasia the money and twiddled his thumbs.

A car horn beeping outside his house, swiftly followed by wheels speeding away told him that Kasia had been and gone, and his new pet was outside. He hurried down, opened the door and stopped dead in his tracks.

On his doorstep was a cage, and inside that cage there was… a human being. He was kneeling, his hands tied to his ankles behind his back, and his face almost entirely hidden by a blindfold and gag. The cage was so tiny that the man’s back was flat against its roof, his whole body pressed down, with his forehead against the floor. Just looking at him made Tomas feel claustrophobic, not to mention sick to the core.

"What the fuck?" he swore without thinking, and the man in the cage cringed. He could definitely hear, then. "Uh, oh god, I’m sorry, I- oh god what am I doing? It’s freezing out here. Let’s just-"

He prepared himself to struggle getting the cage inside, but it was worryingly light. He held it to his chest with both hands, kicking his door shut with far more force than he intended, causing the man to flinch as it slammed. Oh god. He had to call Kasia and find out what the hell he was playing at-

Oh. Oh. Tomas stood still as the penny dropped. Kasia rehomed Pets with a capital P. Oh. Tomas took a few deep breaths. There was a man in a cage in his arms. Let’s focus on that, he thought.

He set the cage down and gingerly unlatched the top of it. Great. He’d have to lift him out.

"Right,’’ Tomas started. The man froze, and Tomas noticed he was holding his breath. "I’m just going to lift you out and get these restraints off you. Okay?"

No response. Obviously. "Okay," said Tomas, mostly to himself. He didn’t want to have to do this, but…

Placing one hand under the Pet’s neck, and the other around his bound wrists, Tomas lifted him out as quickly as he could and set him down on the rug nearby. He weighed so little, and he hadn’t struggled, even a little bit. Tomas was almost glad when he heard his breathing hitch, and saw his hands start to tremble. At least there was… someone in there. Whatever had happened to him hadn’t turned him into a husk, although it seemed like they had gotten close.

. . .

Pet listened closely as he heard his new Master walk away, and rummage for something. So soon, he thought, his heart sinking. What would it be? A knife, a whip, a torch? He wished he could move, show his Master that he was capable of being good, that he didn’t need punishing. The hand around his neck as he was being moved had already reminded him of his place.

Stupid pet! He had been thrown out. His old master had gotten tired of him. And what was he doing, thinking he knew better than his Master? Of course he needed punishing, and if it helped him learn to be good for his Master, then he wanted it. He would take anything if it meant he could be a good Pet.

"Let’s get you out of those," his Master said, his voice travelling downwards as he sat to reach Pet’s restraints. Suddenly something cold, and metallic, and sharp, pressed into his cheek, and he whimpered loudly before he could stop himself. It wasn’t cutting into him yet, just running over his skin as a warning of what Master could do if he wanted. At the sound of his crying Master stopped, but the tool stayed tight against his face, wedged under the blindfold. Not one minute since Master had got him and he was already being disrespectful. His hands shook harder, bracing himself to be hit. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-

"No, no, they’re just scissors," Master said. He felt his stomach turn over. Just scissors. There must be so much worse awaiting him. Master resumed and Pet felt the fabric rip until it came away completely, and he was allowed to see. Pets weren’t to look directly at their Master, he knew this. He could follow this rule. He hadn’t been hit yet, and he dared to hope that his Master was in a forgiving mood.

Soon, Master had cut away all of his restraints. "Sit up, please. That looks uncomfortable. And I want to see your face."

Pet lifted his chest up immediately, ignoring the way his muscles screamed at the sudden movement. Still kneeling, he obediently faced the floor as his Master inspected his new property.

"Hey." An open hand appeared in his line of sight, and Pet screwed his eyes shut to avoid the worst of the slap. Instead, however, fingers gently landed on his cheek, turning his head upwards. Pet’s eyes opened to find Master staring straight at him. "It’s okay, I just- you were zoning out." Pet cringed- he was so nervous his behaviour was slipping. No slap, it seemed. It had been another warning. Or maybe Master just liked seeing him flinch. At least with his old master, Pet could often predict his moods and how Pet would be punished. He felt so vulnerable, with this new Master whose wants and rules he didn’t know yet.

He knew he couldn’t have wants, but he wished he was allowed to speak, to apologise and beg Master to punish him, to get it over with. All he could do was keep his eyes on the ground and try to stop himself from shaking quite so badly. He was on a rug; behind Master he had seen an open kitchen that lead on to a living area. It was spacious and warm. Master was tall and elegant, with wavy blonde hair, and well-built. He had already proven that Pet was nothing for him to lift up. The more he thought about it, the more he realised how easily his Master could hurt him, the more he felt he might faint. The slightest movement hurt, his whole body ached from being in the cage, he couldn’t even curl in on himself if Master decided to punish him. He felt weak with fear.

"Can you speak?" Master asked him. Did he mean physically? Or was he testing how well trained he was? It had to be the second one. He hoped. Either way he knew not to keep his Master waiting. Pet shook his head nervously- no, I am not allowed to speak.

Risking a glance at his Master’s face, he saw he was frowning. He had given the wrong answer. His legs were in agony- he hadn’t stopped kneeling since he’d been tied up and caged, and his mind was whirling, and- "Are you physically able to speak?"

At this, Pet was sure he was going to throw up. When he spoke around his old master, when he cried out in pain or broke down and begged, he was always beaten soundly for it, but that’s where it ended. Here, Pet realised with a sickening jolt, his new Master wasn’t going to leave any room for mistakes. It wasn’t good enough that he didn’t speak- Master wanted to make sure he couldn’t. Maybe he’d take the scissors to Pet’s tongue, or crush his voice box, or sew his mouth shut-

His stomach heaving brought him back to reality and he pitched forward, grabbing a hand to his mouth and almost smacking into Master’s chest. Oh god, now he’d really done it. Pet tried to force himself back up but every movement pushed him closer to vomiting. He was aware that Master had gone and grabbed something from a cupboard, and was now holding it under his face.

"-in there, okay? Be sick in there, if you need to," Master was telling him. Pet obeyed and soon his throat was red-raw and his stomach felt emptier than ever. "There, get it out, that’s it."

Master pushed the bucket to one side, and Pet had never felt so miserable in his life. He had just thrown up in front of his new Master, he could feel tears welling up, and he still hadn’t answered Master’s question! He opened his mouth to beg, but caught himself and clamped his lips shut.

"You want to say something? Go on," Master said. Pet took a shallow breath.

"I-I can speak, Master. B-but, I," he felt the floodgates open as fear took hold of his better judgement, "-but please, please Master, I swear, I can keep quiet, I’ll be good I promise, pl-please don’t, please, I’ll be good for you, I won’t speak, I-" he cut off, sobbing too hard to get another word out. His face burned with shame as he wept; he was so stupid, babbling like an idiot to convince Master that he wouldn’t speak. He pressed his forehead to the floor as his Master decided what to do with him.

. . .

Tomas stared down at the Pet in horror. He had no idea they could be so badly broken. His back was criss-crossed with scars that could only have come from a whip, and slicing through them were long, deliberate cuts. Some were healed, some were still new, covered in dried blood. His arms and legs were splattered with bruises.

It had been even worse when he’d asked the Pet to sit up to get a good look at him. He hadn’t realised when he was pulling him out, but his neck was covered in purple handprints. And he had gone and put his hand right over them like an idiot. Another handprint spread across his cheek, although fainter. Down his chest were all manner of injuries: scars, cuts, bruises, even a few hideous burns. The cuts were the worst. They were so- so perfect. He had taken them all without resistance.

Forcing himself back to the present, Tomas gingerly reached a hand to the Pet’s shoulder. God, he hadn’t even asked if he had a name. Did Pets have names? He faintly remembered that they started off with numbers- should he give him a name?

The Pet didn’t move as Tomas touched him, but he did whimper softly. "Hey, sit back up for me," he coaxed, keeping his voice gentle. He did as he was told, but kept his eyes on the ground. "You can look at me, it’s okay. You’re allowed."

Tomas found a bottle of water and titled it into his Pet’s mouth to wash the bile from his throat, afraid that the man might drop it the way his hands were shaking. He was smaller than Tomas, and far skinnier. He looked so vulnerable, with his chest exposed and his injuries on display like that. Who the fuck would buy a human being and torture them this bad?

"I’m sorry for scaring you. You can speak to me. It’s good that you can speak."

Relief flushed his Pet’s face. "Thank you Master, thank you. I am so grateful."

"I’m Tomas. You may use my name, if you prefer."

"Yes, Master Tomas."

Ah. That would have to do for now, he decided. "Do you have a name?"

Tomas watched him think about this. "N-no, Master. If you wish, I would be honoured to be given one."

"Yes, yes of course. Let me… I mean, do you… have any preference?"

He knew what the answer to that would be before he even asked it. "No Master. Whatever pleases you best."

Tomas looked at his dark hair, and brown twitchy eyes. "You would suit… Rowe, I think."

"Thank you, Master."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes, Master. Thank you. I am so grateful for this kindness."

"It’s hardly a kindness…"

Rowe deflated. "No, Master. I’m sorry- I was presumptuous."

Tomas paused, deciding his next move. He had never come into close contact with a Pet before; they were favoured by the elite, and so damn expensive that no one else could have one even if they wanted. He must have done something pretty serious for his owner to sell him on cheap enough for Kasia’s lot to snap him up. He shoved that thought to the back of his head- it was only scare the poor thing if he asked. Tomas realised that the longer he went without speaking, the more scared Rowe looked.

"Let’s eat."

Tomas found some leftover soup and, after a lot of coaxing, convinced Rowe to sit at the table with him to eat. He had pleaded to eat on the floor, and when that hadn’t worked he had wanted to wait until Tomas had finished. Tomas was too tired to wait that long, and told him so. Framing it as a way to keep his Master happy worked well, and the two ate in silence. When they had both finished, it was nearing midnight.

"I don’t know about you, Rowe," Tomas said, trying to make his tone more friendly. "But I’m exhausted. I think it’s time we both went to sleep."

"Yes, Master," Rowe said, looking past Tomas at something in the kitchen. Turning around, Tomas’s heart sank. The god damn cage he’d bought for the animal he’d been expecting was in plain view on the floor, and had been the entire time. The collar and lead were placed menacingly on top. Oh fucking hell. Rowe had started walking towards it, and in a panic Tomas grabbed his wrist, all efforts to be calm and collected immediately dissolving.

"No, no, no, no. Not for you. Don’t- ugh-" he sighed heavily. Rowe had gone deathly still and was searching Tomas’s face desperately, trying to understand what he’d done wrong. "Don’t go in the cage. No."

"I’m sorry Master," Rowe said under his breath. "Of course I am grateful to sleep on the floor."

"You’re not- I have a spare room. You’ll sleep in there. On the bed."

Rowe looked like he was going to cry at this. "I do not deserve such kindness, Master, please."

"I’m the judge of that. And I want you to have a room to sleep in."

"Y-yes, Master, I’m sorry, I didn’t m- I didn’t mean to question your judgement." Rowe stammered out. Tomas noticed he was still holding his wrist firmly and released it. He was so tired; all he wanted to do was put Rowe in a room and let him sleep, for both their sakes.

"It’s okay, Rowe. I forgive you," Tomas said, and Rowe seemed to calm down slightly. "Follow me, please, and I’ll show you to your room."

#please let me know if anything else needs tagging!#or if you want to go on the taglist :')#whump #pet whumpee #aftermath of torture #whump fic #pet whump #tomas and rowe #fear #mine #master/pet #slavery whump

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