#as ive heard that happens to some people
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Ive seen fics about Kremy meeting Gideon before Gideon transitions and my brain presented an alternate scenario where they are both pre transition, either a "didn't have time/money/freedom" way or a "please assume I'm cis I can't handle this right now" way. And then eventually they are like ohhhh okay. Let's take testosterone together.
#-> this suggests garou is either hashtag ally or isnt s*xist but IS tr*nsphobic#to be honest...ally is funnier#'i may be a piece of shit but i respect your pronouns lecroux. give me 1000000 dollar sir'#diversity win! ex boss is okay with you being gay and trans but is still exploiting you for money#funnier option is that they still fall in love pre transition and it confuses the fuck out of Kremy (gay man) until they Realize#as ive heard that happens to some people#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#gideon coal#legends of avantris#kremy lecroux
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hey guys look what i found in my drafts. from a few days ago .
#sorry i think its my fault that this happened#still unsure if The News is actually real or not tbh since no official sources have said anything about it as far as i know#and i hear the hollywood reporter is usually right about this stuff but idk#the fact that there are no actual sources or evidence for any of this other than ''just trust me bro'' is a bit suspicious to me#+ the fact that theyve been keeping the development of sonic 3 very quiet and secret#yet shadows voice actor. which is one of the biggest topics of discussion surrounding the movie. just. happened to leak somehow ?#but . the timing on this is kinda funny . and very tragic. if it is real#i said it already but i dont get why so many people are celebrating this. from what ive heard he doesnt fit ....#and it feels like another case of casting a random celebrity over an actual voice actor just to have a big name attached to the project#regardless of if theyre really the best choice.#which i thought everyone agreed was a shitty and annoying practice especially if its some iconic video game/comic/whatever character ?#but maybe i just havent heard the right specific voice clips that make people think its a good choice i dont know .
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Reminder: even if trump wins, we’ll be ok. The presidency isnt the only political position that matters, he wont be a dictator, the president doesnt have the power to remove every other part of government that keeps the president’s power in check. Also politics isnt the only thing that matters. Even if we lose some rights (which he cant singlehandedly do) we still have community, we still have activism, we’ll always be ok. We survived one trump presidency, we can survive another. We survived before gay marriage or transitioning were legal, if we have to survive that again we will. Please, no matter what happens, promise to stay alive. Youre valuable, youre important, and youre going to be ok. Its better to be overprepared than underprepared. Im not asking you to lose hope (im doing the opposite of that), im asking you to practice coping ahead, get all your coping skills ready, determine now to stay alive, because i dont want any of you to make any rash decisions later in case we get bad news and emotions are high. Make a safety plan if you need to. Make sure you’re gonna be ok
#if you cant feel hopeful or curious for the future#maybe at least you can be strategic#if we lose a bunch of marginalized (future) voters and activists we’re just handing them the majority#if you cant stay alive for yourself. stay alive for all the other marginalized people you’ll vote on behalf of next time#dont do their dirty work for them. dont kill a marginalized person even if that person is you#im sorry this post was a downer im just. really worried about the way ive heard some queer people and especially youth talking#i just wanna do whatever i can in making sure you guys are ok#if you need someone to message feel free. dm’s and asks are always open#also i disagree when people say activists are emboldened when the present is on their side#in my experience that isnt what happens? they get complacent#all the conservatives would quiet down while our own community is strengthened#like how all the conservatives got loud under biden#if anyone more eloquent than me wants to rewrite this please feel free#or just your own spin on it thats not necessarily better#i think the more people we can make sure are mentally prepared the better#just in case#lilac posts#us politics#cw suicide
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On the topic of Charles and sports, I bring you Charles playing Murderball! (Wheelchair rugby)
local wheelchair-bound professor shocks students by how visceral he gets during a game of murderball (name unrelated)
#snap chats#MURDERBALL??? THEY CALL IT THAT????#theyre not fucking around and you know what Yeah.#whats the equivalent of breaking ankles. i need charles to break some spokes#go grandpa go .... and speaking of Go Grandpa jvaelkjvealJ#good news! roommate checked on me 🥺 we all never talk to each other so i just thought it was sweet ..#people are so nice today ... like i was talkin bout being Food Poisoned in another class and this girl gave me a buncha mints....#on that note Bad News a guy from that class was like 'well pregnancy season is starting up. Allegedly So Ive Heard'#and chat listen to me right now should i ever so much as be on a DATE. with a man. assume somethign terrible has happened#call me charles xavier the way im being dealt twink and pregnancy allegations this week 😭😭😭#anyway ...... ima just hang out a lil more than go home.. its officially my winter break .. kinda ..#got online assignments due monday and one (1) exma i gotta come in for next week but then im chill ...#ugh my chest hurts this sucks. i dont have to throw up anymore i just have chest pain#ANYWAYS talk to yall soon three cheers for the fact im not dead !!!!! i guess !!!!!!! BYE
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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It's my birth right as an asexual to be irritated all the time
#allos stay away from me#😐🫵 you are the problem /j#no but if i had a nickel everytime someone i just met asked me if i masturbated id be able to pay rent 🤪#some butch i think is super cute : so can i ask you a question? no worry if not#me : ahah go ahead ive heard it all like people are always wondering if i masturbate#the butch : 😃 that was my question#LIKE HOW DOES YOUR BRAIN WORK FOR THAT TO BE THE FIRST THING ON YOUR MIND#AND WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME#is this a me thing 😭😭😭😭#MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS#like wow ok maybe think about why you feel comfortable asking me this? would you ask that to someone who just told you they are bisexual.#do you ask them about the frequency of their rapports???? do you ask lesbians if theyve ever scissored when they come out to you????????#what is it about telling people you are asexual that make them see you as lesser 🤔 gee if only i knew..........#and it sucks so bad because this can come from anyone 😭 queer or not
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had a dream last night i was lost wandering the streets of a big city at night and i was cold so i walked into the nearest open store and it was a sex shop but half of the store had several displays of just leather jackets and pants. i wanted it to be real so bad
#there were secret tunnels leading out of one of the storerooms and i was following some people down there but the tunnels got so narrow#(like. crawl on your belly narrow) that i realized i didnt want to be down there anymore and just. decided to wake up#for me lucidity is hard to activate AND hard to maintain but it often happens when the dream goes somewhere i dont like and i want a way ou#sometimes im lucky and i realize im dreaming and get to start flying around. but even then i tend not to stay in control#like ill realize im dreaming and have some fun but then get distracted and forget lol#last time i got lucid i flew around a bit then realized it could be fun to to have some dream sex but nobody was around LMAO#ive heard ppl that are really skilled can actually conjure stuff but im not that proficient#i can mostly just control my own movement and abilities. not change the environment
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preemptively sorry for how fucking long this is it is YOUR FAULTT THOUGH!!!! large bowl of seeds for u. it is almost 2am sorry.
SO. there are. two ways to assign the prime defenders powers etc. the first way is just, like, categorize their existing powersets within the prt framework, & the second is to give them entirely new abilities based on the way worm works. delightfully, all the powers they Do have work really well for the most part, so even that doesn't require a ton of shuffling.
categorizing their pre-existing powers:
wiwi-- breaker w/ a shaker subclass. neither of them rated very high, but that's already a rare and versatile enough combination!!
dakota-- brute babeeeey!!! brute/mover its so straightforward. hell yeah babey. i don't know what he'll end up looking like post-heart removal & stuff but my guess is that'll end up looking more like a mover/striker.
vyncent-- now THIS one gave me trouble. i... hm. to say this without talking about stuff that i don't think has come up much already, (hey!! you're at that clockblocker pov! directly related to what flechette says!) i'd call him a grab-bag cape, irt the greats at least. post-greats-- again, i don't know what his powerset will look like after this arc! but if he's going all in w/ the fire magic, that would for sure be some striker shit! :]]]
giving them new powers... man i'm reining myself in so hard from five more paragraphs on Why exactly i'm saying all this.
wiwi still breaker for sure, maybe breaker-master, maybe master-stranger. yknow. powers are fluid, the prt categories are pretty rigid. i... don't know. enough about his situation yet to be clearer than that vague idea yet-- i really like the idea of him just. ditching his body & using a noncorporeal form but he still has to keep an eye on his body i think that's great. the noncorporeal form would b able to change its visibility but still b limited by proximity to the body. & fluctuating energy shit powered by fluctuating amounts of recent-death in the area, maybe probably also limited in that it's only accessible in his breaker form.... also i think u will appreciate this style note from the [UNNAMED PARAHUMANS TTRPG] i'm referencing a lot here.
dakota--in this situation he probably would not. have that mechanical heart and shit. he' would still be a mover/thinker-- thinker rating is for faster mental processing + senses imminent pain for the people in his immediate vicinity. not danger, just pain; it immediately registers ambiently & can be generally traced back to whoever it is. no he can't turn it off ever, it manifests as feeling a similar level of pain, yes it works on himself. + mover-- he can fucking fly. no super strength, just very fast flight & the general "won't splat himself flying into something" capabilities, which meshes well w/ the faster processing & reflexes. i'm split on how exactly this would work mechanically but i will NOT go into that now. i am also not going into the 15k discussion in my brain on why dakota 'notoriously bad at thinking about things' cole would be a thinker but u gotta trust the process ok??
vyncent-- trump!!!! somehow this is the only straightforward one to me? he can copy powers at the full strength or ability level of the original for an unspecified amount of time that's usually 1-30 minutes by touching the cape. crucially, he doesn't have any edge on how to use these powers + can easily misuse or become extremely overwhelmed by them. he's easily the most powerful out of the three of them <33
ashe-- ashe is NOT HERE currently and also it's 1:30 am so i gotta go fucking sleep soon BUT they would be a master. easy. :o) they can make some lil guys n do stuff with them!!!!
in general these are pretty fucking cracked abilities, all of them would b oosely above a seven or so in a number rating once they're really settled in their powers-- this is mostly because i'm assuming that they would still be heirs-apparent to the prime force equivalent, which would b the triumvirate :]] anyway. good lord. this is like the cliff notes edition of what i've been thinking and scribbling in the notes app for the past several hours. sorry if it's fucking incomprehensible. gn!!! <333
AAAAAH FUCK YESSSSSS OKAY OKAY OKAY my response is probably going to be equally as long. so it's fine. oooouh buddy.
I KNOW WHAT BREAKER MEANS NOW !!! I dontttt think ive learned shaker yet. breaker is like.... breaking the laws of physics/shifting planes or whatever. PERFECT for william hell yes. for putting them actually in worm world ... ughhhh breaker/master william is REALLY cool. I havwnt learned stranger yet but i think he would develop a complex over being classified as stranger <3 (like how weld doesn't like that he's classified as a brute even though that's not exactly what it means, he just doesn't like the word) . GODDDD just thinking abt putting pd boys in worm is fucking me up haven't they been through enough. I want to see them all in a fit of despair. william ditching his body is SO good I miss when he would do that, also the powers being limited by how far away he is AND THE AMOUNT OF RECENT DEATH IN THE AREA. holy shit. that's so fucking good . im sure he would not overthink at all the fact that he is stronger when more people around him have died . I'm sure he'd do awesome in the leviathan fight for sure for sure .
DAKOTA BRUTE <3 DAKOTA BRUTE/MOVER I LOVE THIS A LOTTTTTT hellbyes. awesome. it's so perfect for him <3 worm world I'm SURPRISED u didn't stick with brute for him. eyes emoji. I trust your judgement but now i am Thinking... Hmm..... YOU BRING INTO QUESTION something I have been thinking about. and I'm going to probably get derailed a little here but stay with me. how the way powers manifest directly relate to the trigger event. because for a WHILE before we learned taylors I was like "OH i bet the powers are going to be directly related to what traumatic thing happened to them" and then we learn about taylor and grue and a couple more and I kind of lost that theory because while you can. technically draw relations between their powers and their events it seemed like too much of a stretch to do . HOWEVER now my thinking has changed AGAIN and I think the powers ARE related to specific trigger events but it's not as straightforward as "oh something scary happened to you with bugs so now you have bug powers" I think it's gonna be more complicated than that. WHICH. THE WAY THIS RELATES. BACK ON TOPIC NOW. to DAKOTA . assuming his trigger event is still he and katori falling off the building I think it's AWESOME that his powers would manifest as FLIGHT for one. and the fucking. pain sense thing. fuck me up. dakota extreme hero complex cole would be so fucked up by a power where he ambiently senses pain from the people around him at all times and cannot turn it off. I'm sure he would feel so normal about being around william chronic pain wisp 24/7. also I can SO CLEARLY imagine how this power specifically would lead to him getting super overwhelmed in chaotic situations like he does in canon. and just fucking. bolt out of there because it's too much. again. he'd have such a wonderful time in the leviathan fight
I AM AT CLOCKBLOCKER POV !!!! actually technically I'm on kid win pov now but I haven't finished his chapter yet. vyncent grab bag cape..... yeah... I think it would be EXTREMELY funny imagining the PRT in pd world trying 2 classify vyncent like. what the fuck does this kid do . what do we do with him. hes got other guys in his head that give him powers. is he a master??? no he can't fucking control them. is he a striker??? only SOMETIMES. is he a blaster?? AGAIN ONLY SOMETIMES. cannot classify him bitch!!!!!!!! giving him worm powers though.. UGH. being able to touch someone and COMPLETELY copy their powers but only for a short period of time???? I fucking love that a lot. he WOULD be the most powerful out of them!!! I can hear taylors inner analysis dialogue about him now and it's very similar to the clockblocker "DONT LET HIM.TOUCH YOU" panic. loooove imagining this playing off of the rest of pd,,, i know there was AT LEAST one time where he had william sort of transfer some of his ghost powers for a minute? I think it was during the lich fight in the theatre but i just remember vycnent floating and going intangible and NOT KNOWING how to control it or anything. loveeee that. in world dynamics I feel like vyncent would be a late addition to their team (instead of coming from another world maybe he just. had his trigger event happen way later than the other two..or something.) and not trusting them as much at first/being REALLY shaky using either of their powers but after a while being really comfortable in a fight with using either Williams or dakotas powers in a fight. Just like. imagining the fluidity of how they'd work together in a tense situation assuming they're not being complete dumbasses <3333 UGH it's really good
AAAASHE ASHE ASHE IM SOOO SO GLAD YOU INCLUDED ASHE IN THIS I miss him.so much every day. from what I know so far master involves having/making/controlling some sort of minion (cannot think of a better word than that rn) AND I THINK THATS REALLYYYY perfect for ashe. i assume he would actually work pretty closely to canon in that his limitation would be the book? or if he doesn't have the book maybe his limitation would be a) having only a few different types of things he could summon (the big hand, the water fairy, duck etc) and/or b) only being able to control them.for a short amount of time after they're summoned so he has to be quick about dismissing them. can't keep the demon hand around for too long or it might start picking things up and throwing them at random. putting teammates in danger bc he can't control it anymore etc etc. alsooooooo in clockblocker pov they VERY briefly mentioned the possibility of having secondary trigger events (?!!!!?!?!) and you know I locked onto that SO FUCKING HARD. ashe being born with powers and then his secondary trigger event being his mom's death <3 im.NOT even going to attempt to talk about how the trickster would work in worm world/if it would even exist in this setting bc i don't know enough about the types of powers and things yet..but just know. I am keeping this in the back of my mind "this is a fun surprise tool that will help us later" style
#also side note but can i say. thw whole time i was reading the leviathan fight a persistent thought in the back of my mind was#“man i really wish they had a cape here who could control water- THEY NEED TIDE... THEY NEED TIDE SO BAD”#so like..really normal about putting prime defenders SPECIFICALLY in the leviathan fight. teehee (<< most diabolical laugh youve ever heard#I HAVE A LOT MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT WILLIAM TOO BUT..HMMMMMMMMM DONT THINK I CAN SAY SOME OD THEM YET#EXTREMELY interested 2 see whether ur thoughts on specifically him and dakota#will change after both the training arc and certain other events <3#hehehehehehehee#GOD I CANNOT STOP IMAGINING. PD IN WORM.WORLD. they would suffer so fucking badly man.#william wisp guilt complex about his powers turned up to 200#HAVING A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT ASHE ALSOOOOO . AS ALWAYS#now that i know more abt power classes i am VERY confidently going to put mark down as a tinker/striker.#with the tinker rating being SLIGHTLY higher than striker bc he uses the things he makes to amplify his naturally weaker striker powers.#tiiiiiide im thinkingggg would be. whats the elemental one.#not breaker bc thats specifically about breaking physics and i dont think that works for him.#is it shaker?????? i dknt think ive learned shaker yet.#U ARE MORE EQUIPPED AT THIS THAN ME whats tide. tide would also for sure be a case 53 right. i havent exactly learned what that means yet#but im assuming its the whole artifically giving people powers thing and. thats tide baby. idk if clones would work in worm world#so maybe its him and his regular siblings all being specifically given elemental powers#so they could work together as some super crazy powerful team. and then. that Doesnt happen <3#(idk if u have listened to the tide oneshot yet but. its good. if you ignore dodgeboy)#ANYWAY. i should start getting ready for work now. im having so many thoughts about this norlw#hollyyyyyy shit#infected my brain with worms (pun intended)#asks#friends!!!#intertexts#wormposting#jrwi pd#<< only tagging so i can find this later when i learn more and can properly yell about it#new haven wards
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im really just sad. and i don't know what to do.
#and i forgot i have sleep issues. damn.#like idk what npd is really. i haven't gotten to know anyone very closely who's gotten diagnosed w a pd#granted i'm not close to very many people. at least not until very recently.#but surely i should've seen this coming.#being so easily persuaded into believing in something just because someone gives you an iota of praise about it#like i get it. but at the same time i do not. do that. nor do i really fully understand that. happening for so long to someone#can these characteristics be useful for coping and living. yes.#have they fostered some realistic relationships because people are people? also yes.#is this new and ever increasing trend toward fascism literally breaking the straw for me. yeah i think fucking so.#time for me to stop being a “money draining leech” that's only worth something when it's convenient#and start being. a person who eats vegetables drinks water and does drugs to live babey!!!!#i am really sad tho. everything ive seen and heard abt npd seems fake. like absurdly villainous. doesn't portray at all what it's like to#actually love someone with it. and actively want to see them in a better place. it's sad. i don't wanna go no contact!!!#<- shockingly said. my track record would disagree.
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Fin.
#darktalks#well i fucking got what i wanted. huh. that sure was a modular armor system#overall i liked it a bunch! kassandra is very fun as a character#i liked the mystery of the cult and i really enjoyed the friendship dynamic with barnabas and herodotos. coupla pals goin on a ship#Speaking of! i liked the adrestia. i liked sailing around and i liked ship battles#i think it's because it's scaled back in comparison to Those Other 3 in terms of weaponry and addons and what have you#so it didn't feel like if i was falling behind if i wasn't dedicating ALL of my resources to the ship all the time idk#the maps id say were right on the border of excessively bighuge but i liked how varied the scenery was#not just between greece and the dlc2 areas but between different regions of greece#and the mythical beast/monster encounters were a nice level of challenging that broke up the monotony of fighting other humans#more on the story i like how personal they've made the plots of orig and odys. it really gets you feeling for the protags right away#it's something that also happened with ezio and connor for example. but syndicate and black flag (especially black flag) are kinda lol lmao#even still in AC2 the motive was ''hunting assassins'' not ''hunting YOU specifically'' so to some degree it was still impersonal#it was cool seeing darius in action but dlc1 parts 1 and 2 felt a bit more eh to me#i think it was just because fast travel in makedonia and achaia was a bit of a pain#dlc2-1 also felt a bit overlong because of how many factions you're helping. 2-2 by comparison is super short (but sweet).#2-3 made me want to kill aita all over again. i have mixed feelings on the isu :thumbsup: Aletheia can hang#this is not the games' fault of course but after Hades (game) seeing all these ''gods'' just look like taller humans is a bit of a flop#(let's not get on how much of an idiot they made hermes of all people)#the further rpgfication of equipment and abilities felt like a chore. what the fuck do you mean ''+17% assassin damage''. be serious.#from what ive heard that's something very much still present in valhalla BUT ALSO there's a stamina bar?????? wherefore dost thou do this.#i will say i missed having an animus database. which was also missing in origins? like ik there's the discovery tour but it's Not the same.#i liked the RW segments well enough. something something blonde woman and protagonist with isu artifact smth smth two nickels#kind of a flop moment to not finish off the literal Biggest Problem for the assassins when you had the chance Layla :/#to valhalla we go
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u know that whole "theres a whole world out there we're unaware of" thing that usually gets applied to like, unheard of network tv shows, the zynternet, suburban family trends, etc? thats how i feel when i hear about like, in person events or whatever via some random reel, like showing some massive hyper specific event with like hundreds of people doing some activity or at some place w zero context or explanation, seemingly in america just like me, that i have never seen or heard of in my life. like where did this come from? was this always a thing? is this a thing that only popped up in the last 3 years like a lot of weird specific trends? im not judging im just confused 😭
#like i just saw a reel of what seemed to be a rollerskate? dance battle? rave??? festival? with like. hundreds of atendees#and a specific term used to describe them that ive never seen or heard before#or there was some college party festival thing i saw vids of last yearish where everyone was wearing fringed pants and there were like 100's#of ppl dancing outside a gas station??????#but i do expect that w college sport culture somewhat#or when someone brings up a restaurant/club as if everyone had heard of it#idk if this stuff has always been a thing and social media just illuminated it more#or its just stuff u find out about as an adult and the whole time ive been an adult theres been a lot of bullshit going on#OR if its rly stuff that popped up post covid whrre ppl were trying to come up with events#like im pretty sure those massive interactive art events are a new thing#or the meow wolf stuff#selfie museums are also new but not post covid#but like idk ive heard of those things#its kinda like#yknow that video of all the cybergoths dancing under that bridge????#that was like an expected amount of people for that imo#its like theres anime convention level events happening for niche hobbies#i think in theory its cool im always just confused and apprehensive when ppl bring up stuff as if its a given#w absolutely zero preambe#*preamble#which isnt anyones fault except my own for having autistic childhood trauma based insecurities#this is me working out in real time why these things throw me for a loop#OR the very real knowledge that a lot of people are desperate to become influencers & grifters and sell u bullshit#and catering to a hyper specific market is one way to do that#anyway do u know what i mean or was this always a thing and these r just the ramblings of an insane person
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All I want for Christmas is to see a better year.
#silversirenpersonal#where i dont fail at everything i set out to do in the year#where I feel like a priority for people i prioritize and care about#where I feel as seen and heard as I try to be for everyone else#where most of my friends and family dont forget my birthday#where my friendliness isnt misconstrued as anything else and misplaced#where people don't leap to the worst conclusions and just give me a scrap of good faith#where I don't feel like some entity to appease rather than a person who just wants to feel welcomed#I'm very tired and this is a lot to ask for#it's just very difficult seeing the outpouring of love and support and reassurances others get#and getting barely more than crickets personally#and it just feeds into this pervasive sense that Ive overstayed my welcome and people are sick of me#maybe I should just be content with seeing the new year at all#because event that feels like a lot to ask for too#of course the worst depressive spiral of the year would happen right here at the finish line
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i HATE uncertainty. help
#guys what if i actually lose hair once i start hrt… my hair is like a big part of me#i know its not like having a receding hairline is bad but ive heard of it happening to rlly young people on t#that makes me hesitant to take it.. and some other stuff too but like UAG#if i dont do it now ill regret it later …#⛄️
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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i'm glad you enjoyed brandon F
little note about the uniform thing, the reason why he drags on a bit on that is cause he's a reenactor, 18th century uniforms are his insane obsession. he even jokes about it in the video i sent, saying "i'm finally back to my insufferable self!" when talking about the muskets
i don't blame him tbh, after watching his content for a while i had the realization that 18th century isn't like the romans, whose equipment we deduce through archeology, old sources and guess work.
like, the actual documents that standardized 18th century uniforms still exist and are not hard to access, i realized that after Brandon noted that his source was the fucking British Royal Library in London. ( i mean ffs there's literally photos of Napoleonic era vets heres a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npSru7xEzX8)
and i honestly think its relevant, because if a million dollar historical production didn't want to put in the effort to go to a library and get the official documents. then what else they weren't bothered to get right?
but Brandon doesn't just do historical reviews he also talks a lot about the history in general. like, why fight in lines? what were marines in the 18th century? the history of tactics. and what role did cavalry play in line warfare? for example
heavens bless people of utube that manage to get hyperfixated on one topic for basically their entire life and then proceed to make stuff about it for us to watch, right? it's a delight to listen to someone who actually enjoys the subject and their subject therefore basically guarantees the authencity of what they put out
oooh but yes, the concept itself of what we actually get to know about things in what manner is fascinating in on itself. so since i was small i had been very fascinated by chinese mythology and mythology somewhat comes along with other parts of the culture and so on. and you know how the chinese culture is one of the oldest in the world?
as a result i've somewhat grown accustomed to the numbers that are typical to the span of chinese history and now whenever i go look into the history of my own country i'm actually stumped over how recently certain things happened! then again you wouldn't believe how oppressed or manipulated slovaks had been across history. ain't that right -glares at hungary-
to what extent we know which culture's history is so wild. the ability for certain historical things to simply last is absolutely incredible (such as military uniform documents or musical pieces of 18th century). fun fact! there's still messages written in stone by the soldiers of the roman empire on slovakia's territory. right near Danube, i think, p sure i visited that
thank fuck for reliable sourcing and also thank u for that vid that's gon come in handy for clothing references at Some point, i can feel it
and you are absolutely correct, yes! it Is relevant! as mister Brandon has said, there's of course a certain leeway allowed when it comes to more kid oriented stuff, but i'll admit! i was surprised to learn that serious historical productions apparently put less effort into these kind of things than the sea beast did (i don't usually watch those kind of things, i'm very fantasy/sci-fi and cartoon focused)
this kind of muddling of history that may seem "insignificant" to money grabbing bastards really screws up the perception of the eras for people who don't really have the time or the drive to look into things themselves. it's annoying
oh while we are on this history stuff, i saw this originally in utube shorts, but Apparently they are making a netflix movie or smth about Cleopatra and they made her black?? which is weird, considering that Cleopatra was greek and all that stuff. like don't get me wrong, yes give silenced/less known cultures like black folk more space to present themselves and who they are but like don't do it in a way that heavily skews the history? why are you going out of your way to create misinformation that could heavily impact understanding of history by taking out an already famous (not poc) person instead of Actually making the space for historically important black people. like maybe why not make a movie about that one super rich king from the southwestern coast of Africa (i think) that crashed the egyptian economy twice by being just too damn generous. that would be SO much more helpful to black peeps' history than shoving a black person into the place of a white one
i swear films nowadays either lack soul, heart, spine or brain like 98% of time
#Spot says stuff#// long post //#gklsdmglk you say 'not only history reviews but also history in general' and then all that is listed is battle focused things#saying historical warfare is okay i wont get mad even if the current political things here would perhaps justify me to#ill keep him in mind when ill need help with battle research for a story or smth along those lines. wonderful to have a well sourced place-#-to get info from#i personally think its good to talk about these historical things includin stuff like the world wars. ever since i heard that some people-#-think that ww2 was not real i became of the opinion that it should be talked about more and not seemingly tabood by society in a rather-#-quiet subtle manner. on internet too. we have taggin systems and ways to warn those who dont want to see it. they can dodge it and-#-us? us that are okay should talk and joke. cuz then that creates Conversation n it prevents cretins out there who think all that suffering#-that happened is just some fabricated silly drama from existing#she is of the 15th century but lately ive been interested in joan of arc. if u happen to have smth on her id like to check it out!
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car thieves and more in the neighborhood
#thought we were doing fine since its been years since ive heard anything car related happening#besides that lady who drove around like...high or something#back when i was younger there were some kids (i assume) who'd mess with windows and egg people#or cars whatever im not fixing that tag
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