#as i said to my physics teacher.
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senior superlative winner of most likely to come back and be a teacher at our high school….
#as i said to my physics teacher.#is this an insult or compliment?#i should clarify that SO many of our teachers were students at our hs#we have a teacher that graduated in 2017 and now teaches here#ppl just come back and to be fair i love my school#yes i’m so tempted to come back if there���s an opening when im done w college#i’ll update you guys in four or so years
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who's do you relate most in arcane ?
i think my name's clue enough
#i have the qualifications by way of multiple bioscience projects in my cv. and my physics teacher hugging me at graduation#and the hereditary way my knees are fucked up but this one's mostly a joke ive been to the doctors like once in my life#<- (to get blood tests that were inconclusive because i was too dehydrated for my blood to mean anything. which i think funny)#anyway#i also love the role of eternal second it has to be said. and transhumanism. liberate me from this mortal shell#[.asks]#anonymous
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You got the mural job, that's amazing news =D
THANK YOU!!! i've haven't quite done anythin like this before BUT i have enough experience from other projects to where it's not a super super daunting thing. like yeah it's Big and that'll have it's challenges but i'm excited !! :>
i don't know if i can show my proposal sketch off else i'd put it here but i will certainly show the finished mural off here once it's done >:3
#asks#clubsheartsspades#it also helps that i will be paid. several thousand dollars for this job. now part of that is to cover supplies bc it's. FUcking Big but#definitely the biggest job i have had so far size and paycheck wise dhglkdhfgl#i wouldn't call it weird exactly but i'm at an interesting place in my career as an artist bc i feel as if i should have found a specialty#by now. and by no means is it a bad thing that i haven't bc i love working on a huge variety of projects and i learn a lot from all of them#but for me it's like#i'm a freelance illustrator. i'm an art teacher. i do public art. i run an online shop. i do comics in my free time. every now and again i#exhibit in physical galleries#i do digital art but i'm also a traditional artist#'mintt why are you like this' i'm insane and i don't realize it until i write out everything i do like. oh. huh.#i don't mind doing any and all of that it's fun and there is an inherent cohesion to my work regardless bc i made it#but a lot of the artists i follow. especially the handful of professional artists i know irl do like. one or two of those things bc that's#their specialty. and idk if i have that career specialty yet. i Certainly have my specialties irt subjects#i think there's something to be said though about me seeking out more local opportunities than anything bc i don't feel like i quite have#the portfolio yet to be really noticed when applying for Big Things out of state and whatnot#at least with my more traditional work digital stuff is different#i am thoroughly rambling now sdhgklhflg
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Fuga AU, but they're all in daycare / preschool and Alcatraz is just the classroom where they all the "bad kids" go when they're put in time out or miss recess. Cell's the kid that bites his teachers and the other kids way too hard (hard enough to draw blood) and Pac and Mike are sent to time out for trying to steal their teacher's wedding ring.
#i talk#Mike wanted it for Mine because he said he's gonna marry her when he grows up#(The teachers still don't know if Mine iss a real kid or if she's Mike's imaginary friend)#Felps is probably the teacher's kid or something who hangs out indoors during recess because he gets sick a lot#and can't do a lot of physical activities#How do I tag this#Fuga talk#...? I guess? It's not QSMP so I guess I can't use my usual tag#what the hell#QSMP talk#''Aren't you supposed to be working on your fic?'' I AM IM JUST DISTRACTED I had to do my laundry#back to the grind now#But I thought of this while putting things in the dryer and it made me laugh
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had the insane realization while painting a tiny canvas that every single piece of physical art i make will outlive me if its not thrown out. like ik ill keep my childhood sketchbooks forever. so the shitty sparkledog i drew when i was 11 will outlive me
#idk how to feel abt that . lately i just randomyl feel the weight of time hit me outta nowhere#and i HATE it#brain is just cycling between existential crisis and tired#its either existential crisis or too tired to existential crisis#x#or it could burn in an accident housefire ig but. u get the point#digital stuff gets lost but physical art is either kept given away thrown out. like they usually cant disappear#theres only one (1) thing of mine that i genuinely dont know where it is#a painting from high school that my art teacher said she almost wanted to buy from me. but she said almost so ik she didnt#but i havent seen it in years. its a hard board its not rolled with my other hs stuff in my closet#its not in the house#did i leave it at the school or is it somewhere in the house#like. EVERYTHING else ik where it is. like the permanence just hit me weirdly#i try to archive every digital file but its like. radioactive decay. its got a half life itll never be gone but it keeps shrinking#bits and pieces of old stuff disappear by accident#u know
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college starts in 1.5hrs and ive already been screwed over by them
for context: the specific way i am doing college atm (its not officially college long story) is that the government/state/whatever pays for everything in my classes except science/language lab fees. this includes textbooks—however, they only pay for the cheapest option. so you have NO idea if you’ll get physical or digital. thats fine by me, i can work with both.
so, lo and behold, i go to find my two textbooks for today (both digital)— and yeah, no, not there.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED IS THAT:
The book they said they’d sent me for one class not only isn’t where they said it would be, but it straight up ISNT THE TEXTBOOK FOR THE CLASS. the textbook for this class is free online, which is also funny to me bc this teacher doesn’t allow electronics in the classroom. like buddy did you expect us to memorize the book wtf
The OTHER textbook they said they’d pay the subscription for for the semester (YES THE BOOK IS LOCKED BEHIND A SUBSCRIPTION THIS IS A CALCULUS CLASS.) is, in fact, not paid for. I have it, but it’s on a 2 week free trial. And you’re thinking, “Zerro, just pay for it!” ITS A HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS ARE YOU NUTS?! NOT WHEN THEYRE SUPPOSED TO PAY THAT!
So NOW, I have to figure out how they’re supposed to pay for the latter textbook (because the former is straight up wrong anyways) while also just straight up not knowing how these classes even WORK (the calc class… has discussion forums required. What The F—) and yeah college is going GREAT.
#zero thoughts#zerros free college year#<- tag for these shenanigans bc im confident this won’t be the first time i complain about this#IT WENT SO WELL LAST YEAR TOO#first class didn’t need a textbook teacher said so#second class textbook arrived and was working#but THIS year? ough man.#they actually did get one if my textbooks right it was a physical one they shipped to me#and my fourth class straight up doesn’t have a textbook so okay#but THESE TWO?#the worst thing is the wrong textbook class is a history class#and i LOVE history#and so far it is the worst class out of the four from looking at the syllabuses n such#also for context for my kind of college: they only offer this to hs students#so its basically “we pay for college you take college classes on top of your HS classes#and get both college and HS credits out of class”#but heres the thing#im homeschooled and have essentially finished my HS coursework. so this is basically just free college since to them im still an HS student#its great. except for the part where they dont pay for anything like they said they would.
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why did my teachers think it was okay to give us like one single weekend to finish all of our midterm projects and study for our tests.
#slight vent#i have 3 projects and 3 tests#i’m halfway through my lit/history project and halfway through my psych project#and maybe a quarter done with my programming project#which is fucking insane btw cause how tf am i supposed to code a whole video game in like 3 days on top of everything else 😭😭😭#and some things he hasn’t taught us and just thinks that we should just be able to figure out like HELLO???/?///#I DONT HAVE TIME TO TEACH MYSELF NEW CODE#ITS THE MIDTERM/FINAL FOR THE CLASS??????#and once the weekend starts i’ll have no one to trouble shoot my stuff and fix my bugs so literally i’ll be hopeless so 😭😭😭#my calc teacher JUST finished teaching us everything we need for the midterm TODAY. THE MIDTERM IS ON WEDNESDAY. BRO.#my physics teacher doesn’t let us copy down any of our idk test questions or take our old assessments home to study#*old#so we get to look em over for like 20 mins and hand em back. which doesn’t exact fucking help me when i’m studying for the midterm.#WITH NO STUDY GUIDE.#my teachers even said that this years midterms are worse than previous years cause they’re all in a row instead of split by a weekend#we’ve had 2 delayed openings and 1 early dismissal this week which means we have less time to work on our midterm projects in class 😭😭😭😭#i’m so overwhelmed i’m gonna explode#by the time i finish these projects i’m not gonna have anymore energy/time to study for my tests. WHICH IS THE HARD SHIT BTW.
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It still hasn't fully sunk in that I only have one exam left...
#gcses#gcse physics#gcse student#I'm lowkey going to miss chem. my teacher was great#and history#my history teacher is so friendly i genuinely felt bad when i said i wasn't going it for a level
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the real question is, if you went 5000 years to the past and kill a random person, how probable is that a great-great-greatx10 grandfather paradox happens?
#i asked my physics teacher about it. she only said “its a interesting concept” and nothing more#i need a number#physics#grandfather paradox#paradox#paradoxs
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Small and low quality Mizuchi ft smol baby Yato
It's been a while. I miss these posts :(
#noragami#mizuchi#yato#Noragami spoilers#i'm thinking of coming back to this blog#like posting frequently like i used to#not everyday but hopefully at least once a week#life has been so hectic#firstly i think last year i lost commitment for this blog cuz i was hyperfixating on a visual novel series#and that series literally took my attention away from everything i swear l#and then this year happened oh dear lord school is beating me to a pulp every damn week#started at a new school in november & it took me long to make friends#and on top of that most of my classes are ultra boring and the teachers pile on work like crazy#i have to push myself so hard and burn out at the end of every week to get every assignment turned in#only got a month left of school so yea but also nay cuz there's sm left to do#got a damn eoc exam tomorrow and then a physics exam the next day#i have a performance for my asl class which im so not prepared for in a few weeks#and then finals like the week after the performance i think?#oh and my algebra teacher said she's giving us another exam before the final#very fun!! i love being a high schooler XD
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I’ve dreamt of the same person 4 nights this week
#it’s someone I’ve never met but I could describe him in detail#every time I wake up from the dream it feels like a thread wearing thin until it snaps#like we’re connected somehow#I think I might be in love with this dream guy#he wears pinkish red glasses#hes a teacher at a college- but he’s a (very good) physicist#he’s married (✋🏽😔)#his dad died recently and left him his boat. he hasn’t had time to work on it recently but he really loves it#the first dream we met if I recall correctly since it was almost a week ago#I believe I sat in on his class accidentally while I was looking for my actual class and then stayed because I was mesmerized by him talking#then he pointed out that I wasn’t in his class and we talked as he walked me across campus to my class#later that night we ran into each other at a local bar and ended up hanging out all night (bar hopping but it felt like a date almost)#the second dream I saw him in was mostly watching him from afar on the campus#at the end of that one I heard that he got recognized for something he did in physics#and this one was#well. very romantic#like unintentionally#waking up was actually agony today#put me back in coach#this one I was out with coworkers at said bar again#working on some sort of project I think and then dream guy walks in#I think he ended up accosting one of my friends over a spilled drink or something but in a nice way#so I used it as an excuse to -diffuse the situation- to go talk to him#so he ends up sitting with us at our table and chatting and he tells me about his physics thing#and he had such a sweet look in his eyes when I told him I was proud of him and how smart he was#somehow I ended up curled up in his lap snuggled up against him while we were all talking#because for some reason we’re very comfortable with each other#the dream ended with us looking into each others eyes after I said something about his dad and the boat#the (are we about to kiss right now??) look in his eyes jolted me awake since I was like. but he’s married!!! I’m not evil!!#but maybe I am now I guess
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One of the weirdest things about finding out you're traumatized/mentally ill/neurodivergent as an adult is looking back at all the very obvious signs in your childhood and realizing none of the adults responsible for you were paying attention
#it really is a mindfuck#like all of yall were really asleep at the wheel here#me: exhibiting very obvious symptoms of neurodivergence and mental and physical illnesses#ever parent teacher coach and other authority figure i interacted with: shes just Like That.#fun fact i when i was in elementary school starting in 2nd grade id have to walk to the front of the classroom and read a section of the#board at a time and then go back to my desk and copy it from memory because I couldn't see well enough from my seat and not a single#teacher said or did anything about it until i was in fifth grade. guess who needed glasses.#like they didn't even ask they just let that happen until my fifth grade teacher was like. what are you doing. and i told her i couldn't#read the writing from two rows back and she told me to tell my mom i needed glasses#anyways ms. [redacted] you're the only valid mfer in this place#not even gonna get into the number of coaches who called me lazy or out of shape in middle/high school (even though i was playing multiple#sports a year) when i told them i couldn't breathe after running for only a minute or two. guess who has sports asthma.#maybe this is just being the middle child but like of you're not going to pay attention to me can u at least not immediately call me a liar#when i say something's wrong maybe#those aren't even mental/neurological those are very obvious and easily demonstrated physical issues and you STILL didn't say anything#not even gonna get into all the very obvious signs of mental illness and neurodivergence
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My knee hurts so much rn it's been a year since I Injured it I do NOT want to think abt the possibility that I have chronic pain
#og post#or disability#my physical therapist said im too young to have chronic pain and she was rlly worried when i told her the pt wasnt rlly helping#she didnt say that as a dismissive remark btw it sounded more like she was scared for me#next time we walk the track for aerobics im gonna tell my teacher/subs that walking for a long time hurts#its amazing how painful walking for 10 minutes straight gets
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Juno, respectfully, what the fuck is up with your bio teacher
to be completely honest with you i don't actually know hdsjhjkd
sometimes he can almost pass as a relatively normal science teacher but then he just does SOMETHING that reminds you of why he's the little freak of the science department (affectionate)
i do love having him though hjdshjk he bought all of us hot chocolates from the upper school cafe for christmas. he also chats w one of the people in my class about the witcher. and puts minecraft music on to help us relax (he has a gamer chair. he showed us photos of it bc he was so happy when he got it)
#we're having tours from primary schools rn that are tryna get the y6s to come to my school next year#and a buncha teachers are doin tours for it. and when he was asked why he wasnt he said that he was told he was “responsible enough” to do#-tour#i mean. there's also my gcse physics teacher..who was definitely wild as hell. and didnt actually teach us? (still got that A* tho)#and my y7 comp science teacher! he got fired for comin into school high#yk what. maybe its just a my school problem#asks#anon
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aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh
#everhoneignore this post classic rant post i don't have real problems everyone can move along#truly have had such a bad couple of days here and i am not even close to finishing the assignments i need to finish in welding being in#clsss makes me want to quit and die i don't know why i'm so slow i don't know why everyone else can intuit this stuff and improve and#understand how to do it and im always always falling behind if i could try harder wouldn't i be able to do that ive got no drive to push#myself at all i guess i like the english and i can do the physics i thought i at least liked drafting and metals fabrication but i feel so#stupid everything i do makes me feel so stupid and my teacher talks to me like i'm always doing everything wrong when i do some classroom#ettiquette breaches that everyone else does too and i can't get myself to go to sleep on time can't get myself to go in early i have hours#and hours and hours and i blink and it's gone and i've done nothing i should've welded today and gone in early to draft but i didn't because#im stupid and im slow and i can't do anything right i have always been able to square away a little bit of pride on being precise on doing#things well because people are always telling me that i am but i am below average here i just can't do things right and i feel like everyone#hates me and thinks i'm obnoxious and i don't know how to interface with my class or my teacher or how to improve or how to be less anxious#and i feel even stupider for that because i am so stuck up not being able to deal with even a little bit of failure or issue or hardship#and everyone around me is sick all my classmates and people in my dorm are sick im sure it's covid they haven't said it's covid but none of#them would test and i've been wearing a mask again but im certainly been exposed to it already and no one else is wearing a mask anyway so#what difference does it even make and i can hear them coughing in my dorm and in the classroom and when i go to get food and i miss seeing#my friends from philly and everuthing will be terrible forever and ever#alex talks
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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