#aroallo rant

[normystical]

I hope that any and all Hellaverse aroallo rep stays in headcanons, never canon. I have a bad feeling that if a character is confirmed by Vivziepop to be aroallo, it'll definitely be Valentino...

[doveghost]

I'm so tired of people saying "we need more love stories without romance" and they're referring to platonic love.

No. I want more sexual love. I want characters who deeply lust over eachother's bodies but aren't interested in eachother romantically. And I want people to stop pretending that only liking someone sexually means you don't actually love them or care about them. Sometimes love is purely physical and not romantic.

[aro-bird]

Okay, for aro awareness week, I need you all to start recognizing that:

NOT EVERYONE IN THE ARO COMMUNITY IS FROM THE UNITED STATES OR EUROPE.

Please, when we're having discussions about aphobia, allonormativity amatonormativity, and other issues for the love of god STOP PRETENDING THAT WE DON'T EXIST AND LISTEN TO US!

We aren't just your token aros that exist in the other side of the world just for you to prove that we are everywhere or whatever point you're trying to make, we are living, breathing human beings and members of the aro community and we deserve respect and to be remembered not as a point in your discourse but as equals.

I am sick and tired of people just assuming that everyone in the community is either from the United States or Europe and only centering those voices in the discussion. We exist too.

[loveless-arobee]

"We need more weird queer people!"

and they can't handle gay trans men, especially not nonbinary gay trans men, and ESPECIALLY not aromantic gay trans man; and even less so when he's not a bottom and a femmy little twink (though they also can't accept trans femmy little twink bottoms, they'll make fun of them, too).

And their heads would explode if they only imagined a twink topping a bear (because big muscly man always top and dainty little fem always bottom), and just percieving a bear4bear/masc4masc or twink4twink/fem4fem relationship, where neither is "more masc" or "more fem" so they can't just decide who tops and who bottoms (absolutely not based in standards set by heteronormativity /s), would kill them instantly.

Be normal about gay men, especially gay trans men of all kinds.

[octever]

HOLY FUCK HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS

Just because a character you see with aromantic traits doesn't make them aroace. It's fine to have your head cannons, but when ALL that is stated is a distaste for romance, I find it troubling to call them ace. PLEASE let me have this character as just aro.

Not necessarily aroallo, but just the aromantic label. Really made that because someone has aro qualities that it means they are aroace.

AGAIN

Aromantic experience -> aroace experience -/> Asexual experience

Asexual experience -> aroace experience -/> Aromantic experience

BUT if the aroace experience fits both then obviously

Aromantic experience <- aroace experience ->Asexual experience

[kai-tus]

This is...a lot to take in...

Ok so I came across @crazygnomenclature's webtoon. I read all of them within the past few hours. And I realized that this friendship is precisely how I thought relationships were. And I already knew I was aromantic, but for a while I suspected I was not fully aromantic. But in reality, I just want to call to be able to call something a 'relationship' that is actually a friendship by definition.

This feels like a queerplatonic thing. It really does. It's not a platonic thing, since I'm aplatonic as well.

This was just... ...sort of a jarring realization... especially since I JUST got used to the idea of being uniromantic lmao

Anyways, I guess I had no idea how a real friendship was like and assumed that's what a romantic relationship is. Reading these comics actually helped me understand.

So uh hooray for that, ig? :]

[contagious-watermelon]

it's kind of like insanely isolating that literally every aspec or "ace & aro" space I've found has been in actuality, solely for aces. perhaps arospec aces or aroaces who entirely prioritize their asexuality could also find company there, but even as an aromantic person who is also asexual, they're really not intended for me. so I can only imagine how isolating it must be if you're aromantic and allosexual

[energon-keeper]

I made a video about me being aro-spec and straight hoping it will reach more queerhets. Unfortunately no one saw it so if you find this post, please watch it, I’d appreciate it. Thank you very much.

[akhillasmyth]

Actually weird comment but

My partner knows I’m aroflux… and knows i have established i have days where i don’t feel romantic feelings even for them as my partner

So with that knowledge, why would you say you’re hurt by me saying “i love you too buddy” as a response

I’m already doing my best to show love to you when i can’t reciprocate nearly as well, and I’ve called you buddy before just as a random term

So like why make me feel more guilty about it omg

Sigh

Yeah I’ll tell him about it (communication… yay) i just feel annoyed atm randomly

[curieklei]

Aroallos that do desire relationships really getting the worst treatment when trying to get into one. People's usual expectation of "There's just one thing they want" applies threefold, since they don't (CAN'T!!!) at the very least desire the romance part. This is frustrating as hell.

Like, hello?? Is there just two things to get out of a relationship? Or is everything non-sex considered romance?

A person I knew said that it's because of my upbringing, and that I myself don't even understand what I want.

Okay. Yeah. I'm having a hard time understanding feelings and romance, true. Why would that mean I'm not allowed to try working with the parts of my puzzle I CAN recognize? Or are we now saying that my (supposed!) nurture invalidates the way I experience love? I'm doing my best damn it. It wasn't even a rejection, I'm just pissed.

[normystical]

RAGH RAGHH RAAAGH RAGHR GRASYRGRGAGR BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS

THERE'S MORE, BUT I THOUGHT SOME WERE MORE IFFY ON WHETHER OR NOT THEY'RE EXCLUSIONARY, BUT STILL RRRAGAGHAHAGSHEHSGS /NEG

[tears-are-in-your-eyes]

im struggling to figure out my sexuality. I was recently in a romantic relationship but something wasn't right. I couldn't seem to fall in love, I couldn't seem to understand what that meant. I don't know if I'm aromantic or arospec, that seems like a possibility because I've definitely liked this person romantically but not enough. I don't know if that makes sense but it wasn't how 'falling in love' is always described. I've always had trouble with romance, it hasn't ever appealed to me. I do however experience sexual attraction, this has lead to feelings of disgust and repulsion at the fact I might be aroallo. Im sad that I internalized those feelings and am wondering what other aroallos or arospecallos feel about their identity?

[moogghost]

i swear people needa start acknowledging that systems/plurals exist whenever they start going "oh but someone can't identify as [x] and [x] at the same time that's contradictory"

like i'm sorry but typically the experience of being plural will result in us using labels in a way that is outside of the singlet experience and i'm sick of y'all acting like the queer singlet experience is the only way (and the "correct" way) to be queer

[fucknugg3t]

there wouldn't happen to be any OC lore would there 👀

sigh

There is nothing on this man he is a stupid he doesn’t even have a name brother

….but I do have some stuff

he hates his hair very much and refuses to take care of it he’s close with Elliott so most of the time Elliott will take over and gently wash brush and care for it

He’s notoriously difficult to find we don’t really know if he actually even lives here..?

sometimes he’ll just show up from?? Somewhere?? And hand out gifts and leave no talking to nothing just that’s it

He gives the most gifts to Elliott the kids and sometimes Alex and Sam

always looks tired or annoyed but he’s actually pretty chill to the right people just spacey and somewhat off putting

imagine like every shitty mysterious asshole romance male love interest (he shuts down and it was “mysterious”, that man is not in love and emotionally distant he’s uncomfortable and making himself do this because he thinks it’s normal and what he’s supposed to do)

alright that’s it you sparked it it’s your fault aromantic rant time

a lot of times you’ll see girl romance main characters falling for literally some guy and following him around and staring etc and the guy is distant and visibly uncomfortable but it’s played as he’s ✨so mysterious✨ and god forbid he shows human empathy because then it’s ✨🥺I knew it he has a soft side only I can see🥺✨ ma’am leave this poor man alone it’s me I’m the poor guy this happens so often back in school

I think I remember a video parody of this actually https://www.instagram.com/reel/CXJbQartqNU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link literally this except the dark terrible secret is just homosexuality and aromanticism I haven’t accepted yet

anyway all of this is getting dumped into this oc dude sorry bro what can I say trauma is generational and you’re my creation

it’s going to be a whole thing about how Elliott is considered stereotypically sappy sweet romantic and then there’s the stereotypical mystery messy asshole romantic and it’s like the hot eye candy best friends trope and the punchline and social commentary is the dude is aroallo Elliott and him are sappy fwb and every interaction fucking rips anormativity from the seems because guess what the “male love interest” deserves to be comfortable to

[i-like-swiss-cheese]

friendly reminder that false accusations of rape based on nothing but hate for the person you are accusing when you know that they have seen what it does to people is almost as bad as what you are accusing them of doing

[contagious-watermelon]

so, fellow aspec people, what are y'all's relationship to gay as an umbrella term? I've seen a lot of aroace people call themselves gay despite *technically* not being, and personally I've always been confused by that

(and also— I'd imagine that aroallo or alloace people who are gay for their other orientation would automatically include themselves with that term, but what about the arohets and acehets? how do y'all feel about the use of gay as an umbrella term?)

I'm just curious about other people's experiences bc i as an aromantic person feel rather uncomfortable being grouped in as gay because I've never been attracted to another man before, but anecdotally i seem to be in the minority