#aroallo rant

[normystical]

I hope that any and all Hellaverse aroallo rep stays in headcanons, never canon. I have a bad feeling that if a character is confirmed by Vivziepop to be aroallo, it'll definitely be Valentino...

[inclined--plane]

it's kind of like insanely isolating that literally every aspec or "ace & aro" space I've found has been in actuality, solely for aces. perhaps arospec aces or aroaces who entirely prioritize their asexuality could also find company there, but even as an aromantic person who is also asexual, they're really not intended for me. so I can only imagine how isolating it must be if you're aromantic and allosexual

[octever]

HOLY FUCK HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS

Just because a character you see with aromantic traits doesn't make them aroace. It's fine to have your head cannons, but when ALL that is stated is a distaste for romance, I find it troubling to call them ace. PLEASE let me have this character as just aro.

Not necessarily aroallo, but just the aromantic label. Really made that because someone has aro qualities that it means they are aroace.

AGAIN

Aromantic experience -> aroace experience -/> Asexual experience

Asexual experience -> aroace experience -/> Aromantic experience

BUT if the aroace experience fits both then obviously

Aromantic experience <- aroace experience ->Asexual experience

[energon-keeper]

I made a video about me being aro-spec and straight hoping it will reach more queerhets. Unfortunately no one saw it so if you find this post, please watch it, I’d appreciate it. Thank you very much.

[tears-are-in-your-eyes]

im struggling to figure out my sexuality. I was recently in a romantic relationship but something wasn't right. I couldn't seem to fall in love, I couldn't seem to understand what that meant. I don't know if I'm aromantic or arospec, that seems like a possibility because I've definitely liked this person romantically but not enough. I don't know if that makes sense but it wasn't how 'falling in love' is always described. I've always had trouble with romance, it hasn't ever appealed to me. I do however experience sexual attraction, this has lead to feelings of disgust and repulsion at the fact I might be aroallo. Im sad that I internalized those feelings and am wondering what other aroallos or arospecallos feel about their identity?

[akhillasmyth]

Actually weird comment but

My partner knows I’m aroflux… and knows i have established i have days where i don’t feel romantic feelings even for them as my partner

So with that knowledge, why would you say you’re hurt by me saying “i love you too buddy” as a response

I’m already doing my best to show love to you when i can’t reciprocate nearly as well, and I’ve called you buddy before just as a random term

So like why make me feel more guilty about it omg

Sigh

Yeah I’ll tell him about it (communication… yay) i just feel annoyed atm randomly

[curieklei]

Aroallos that do desire relationships really getting the worst treatment when trying to get into one. People's usual expectation of "There's just one thing they want" applies threefold, since they don't (CAN'T!!!) at the very least desire the romance part. This is frustrating as hell.

Like, hello?? Is there just two things to get out of a relationship? Or is everything non-sex considered romance?

A person I knew said that it's because of my upbringing, and that I myself don't even understand what I want.

Okay. Yeah. I'm having a hard time understanding feelings and romance, true. Why would that mean I'm not allowed to try working with the parts of my puzzle I CAN recognize? Or are we now saying that my (supposed!) nurture invalidates the way I experience love? I'm doing my best damn it. It wasn't even a rejection, I'm just pissed.

[moogghost]

i swear people needa start acknowledging that systems/plurals exist whenever they start going "oh but someone can't identify as [x] and [x] at the same time that's contradictory"

like i'm sorry but typically the experience of being plural will result in us using labels in a way that is outside of the singlet experience and i'm sick of y'all acting like the queer singlet experience is the only way (and the "correct" way) to be queer

[normystical]

RAGH RAGHH RAAAGH RAGHR GRASYRGRGAGR BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS

THERE'S MORE, BUT I THOUGHT SOME WERE MORE IFFY ON WHETHER OR NOT THEY'RE EXCLUSIONARY, BUT STILL RRRAGAGHAHAGSHEHSGS /NEG

[scarletardor]

bit of a rant.

— i’ve kind of fully accepted i’ll never be entirely accepted into the general queer community neither will my queer identity ever be validated.

arospec + aspec people have always received such animosity from the space that is supposed to be welcoming / accepting of them. i get really really really sad even setting foot into the dating world because i know my sexual identity is too complex for the simple minded to understand & i know it’s already gonna be too much for a man to understand.

i only find my comfort nowadays in fictional characters yes, and while i am comfortable with that… i just wish i could have a partner.

[queen0funova]

So I wrote a poem about my struggles with potentially being aro, but when I showed it to someone once, they said "This feels like something you'd give to someone you like."

And then like two weeks later, they made a comment about wanting to meet my partner, and I was like "I don't have one?"

[franknfurterstriangulardinosaur]

I get very angry when people assume that I must be asexual if I’m aromantic. I am aroallo and that is a huge part of the chaos that is me. I am not against asexual or aroace identities but that is not me (before any of you twist my words). No, I’m not just a detached slut. I do not participate in your romance because first of all, I simply have a lack of understanding of it and second of all, I do feel that category of attraction. I feel sexual attraction and can understand it perfectly. This is probably because sex is a physical act that can be described. No one has ever described romance in a way that I do not describe friendships. I’m not just using people. You can have sex with your friends. Romance is not any better than friendship. Being aromantic means so much more than any alloromantic person could ever know and connecting that with asexuality is both disrespectful to asexual people and aromantic people. I don’t need to feel a feeling that I have no understanding of in order to want to have sexual intercourse with them.

[nightvale359]

Sometimes i really see the dumbest most toxic takes of this app and i just want to delete my account

[theirloveisgross]

it's so hard to try to explain the aromantic experience to alloromantic people. i could do a good job of it and they'll agree but they'll never really understand, which it's fine, honestly, but sometimes i wish i knew irl aro people.

your alloromantic friends would say that friends are the most important thing whenever they're not in romantic relationships or single or just broken up, etc. which, duh, it's true. and as soon as they find a new romantic partner... you're back on the second division.

and i get that's how most of the world works, even if my brain doesn't get it, and i'm not blaming them, or trying to make them feel bad ever. and i'm not doubting they love me, or that i'm important to them... but it's just a shitty feeling that becomes way too familiar when you're just relegated once again.

*sigh*

[crying-in-converse]

okay ive seen a lot of posts about kitty x yuri which i am LIVING FOR but can we talk about AROALLO MADISON

[papercranesandpride]

All orientations and identities are valid except the hellish combination of being alloaro and super dysphoric about sex. Fuuuuuuck that. I don't know who invented this torture device of an identity that I ended up with, but I want to murder them.

It is just so great to be deeply horny and sexual when almost everything about sex makes me uncomfortable! It's so amazing to constantly need to masturbate when I don't actually enjoy it. It's so lovely to be turned on by every human being on earth when I hate the feeling of being turned on. It's not worrying at all that when I get on T, my libido will only get worse and as it is, it's already high enough that it is torture.

I love being obsessed with only sexual relationships in media and at the same time not being able to read smut because I will just get deeply envious of the characters for having parts that I don't and being able to properly enjoy sex when I can't. And oh, let's not even get started on how bad it is when the characters have the parts that I do have.

Oh, and let's not forget that I need someone to be very patient and understanding of me for a sexual relationship to be possible, and that's not going to happen because who is going to bother getting that invested in me when I'm not going to offer them romance? I thought I found the solution to that one by only looking for poly people... Yeah guess who started getting constantly blown off by said poly person the second they got a girlfriend?

It is wonderful when my ideal sex life would be hookups, except I can't do hookups because as it is, I need very very specific things out of a sexual partner and unless they're a very specific way, I'm going to end up hurt and they'll end up deeply unsatisfied. Doing hookups would devastate me because I'd have five failures, at least, to every success. Mostly I'll end up unsatisfied and painfully dysphoric. That is not a risk I should take.

It is terrible to have awful dysphoria that you just know could be soothed by sexual interaction as the correct gender, by that kind of deep physical affirmation, but you don't have any way to get that because you know from experience that if you try to seek it out, you are more likely than anything to have it go badly and you get hurt, but you just need so desperately to have someone use and hold your body in the correct way for like. Five minutes.

I just. I know that one day I will make sure I get the proper equipment to resolve this problem, but given that I'm not on HRT yet and they tend to require years of hormones before you can do that... It seems very dire and this shit really is killing me.