#aroallo rant

[normystical]

I hope that any and all Hellaverse aroallo rep stays in headcanons, never canon. I have a bad feeling that if a character is confirmed by Vivziepop to be aroallo, it'll definitely be Valentino...

[aro-bird]

Okay, for aro awareness week, I need you all to start recognizing that:

NOT EVERYONE IN THE ARO COMMUNITY IS FROM THE UNITED STATES OR EUROPE.

Please, when we're having discussions about aphobia, allonormativity amatonormativity, and other issues for the love of god STOP PRETENDING THAT WE DON'T EXIST AND LISTEN TO US!

We aren't just your token aros that exist in the other side of the world just for you to prove that we are everywhere or whatever point you're trying to make, we are living, breathing human beings and members of the aro community and we deserve respect and to be remembered not as a point in your discourse but as equals.

I am sick and tired of people just assuming that everyone in the community is either from the United States or Europe and only centering those voices in the discussion. We exist too.

[loveless-arobee]

"We need more weird queer people!"

and they can't handle gay trans men, especially not nonbinary gay trans men, and ESPECIALLY not aromantic gay trans man; and even less so when he's not a bottom and a femmy little twink (though they also can't accept trans femmy little twink bottoms, they'll make fun of them, too).

And their heads would explode if they only imagined a twink topping a bear (because big muscly man always top and dainty little fem always bottom), and just percieving a bear4bear/masc4masc or twink4twink/fem4fem relationship, where neither is "more masc" or "more fem" so they can't just decide who tops and who bottoms (absolutely not based in standards set by heteronormativity /s), would kill them instantly.

Be normal about gay men, especially gay trans men of all kinds.

[octever]

HOLY FUCK HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS

Just because a character you see with aromantic traits doesn't make them aroace. It's fine to have your head cannons, but when ALL that is stated is a distaste for romance, I find it troubling to call them ace. PLEASE let me have this character as just aro.

Not necessarily aroallo, but just the aromantic label. Really made that because someone has aro qualities that it means they are aroace.

AGAIN

Aromantic experience -> aroace experience -/> Asexual experience

Asexual experience -> aroace experience -/> Aromantic experience

BUT if the aroace experience fits both then obviously

Aromantic experience <- aroace experience ->Asexual experience

[contagious-watermelon]

it's kind of like insanely isolating that literally every aspec or "ace & aro" space I've found has been in actuality, solely for aces. perhaps arospec aces or aroaces who entirely prioritize their asexuality could also find company there, but even as an aromantic person who is also asexual, they're really not intended for me. so I can only imagine how isolating it must be if you're aromantic and allosexual

[energon-keeper]

I made a video about me being aro-spec and straight hoping it will reach more queerhets. Unfortunately no one saw it so if you find this post, please watch it, I’d appreciate it. Thank you very much.

[tears-are-in-your-eyes]

im struggling to figure out my sexuality. I was recently in a romantic relationship but something wasn't right. I couldn't seem to fall in love, I couldn't seem to understand what that meant. I don't know if I'm aromantic or arospec, that seems like a possibility because I've definitely liked this person romantically but not enough. I don't know if that makes sense but it wasn't how 'falling in love' is always described. I've always had trouble with romance, it hasn't ever appealed to me. I do however experience sexual attraction, this has lead to feelings of disgust and repulsion at the fact I might be aroallo. Im sad that I internalized those feelings and am wondering what other aroallos or arospecallos feel about their identity?

[akhillasmyth]

Actually weird comment but

My partner knows I’m aroflux… and knows i have established i have days where i don’t feel romantic feelings even for them as my partner

So with that knowledge, why would you say you’re hurt by me saying “i love you too buddy” as a response

I’m already doing my best to show love to you when i can’t reciprocate nearly as well, and I’ve called you buddy before just as a random term

So like why make me feel more guilty about it omg

Sigh

Yeah I’ll tell him about it (communication… yay) i just feel annoyed atm randomly

[curieklei]

Aroallos that do desire relationships really getting the worst treatment when trying to get into one. People's usual expectation of "There's just one thing they want" applies threefold, since they don't (CAN'T!!!) at the very least desire the romance part. This is frustrating as hell.

Like, hello?? Is there just two things to get out of a relationship? Or is everything non-sex considered romance?

A person I knew said that it's because of my upbringing, and that I myself don't even understand what I want.

Okay. Yeah. I'm having a hard time understanding feelings and romance, true. Why would that mean I'm not allowed to try working with the parts of my puzzle I CAN recognize? Or are we now saying that my (supposed!) nurture invalidates the way I experience love? I'm doing my best damn it. It wasn't even a rejection, I'm just pissed.

[moogghost]

i swear people needa start acknowledging that systems/plurals exist whenever they start going "oh but someone can't identify as [x] and [x] at the same time that's contradictory"

like i'm sorry but typically the experience of being plural will result in us using labels in a way that is outside of the singlet experience and i'm sick of y'all acting like the queer singlet experience is the only way (and the "correct" way) to be queer

[i-like-swiss-cheese]

friendly reminder that false accusations of rape based on nothing but hate for the person you are accusing when you know that they have seen what it does to people is almost as bad as what you are accusing them of doing

[normystical]

RAGH RAGHH RAAAGH RAGHR GRASYRGRGAGR BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS BEATS EVERYONE WITH HAMMERS

THERE'S MORE, BUT I THOUGHT SOME WERE MORE IFFY ON WHETHER OR NOT THEY'RE EXCLUSIONARY, BUT STILL RRRAGAGHAHAGSHEHSGS /NEG

[cheacegirl]

Dear fandom and LGBTQ community,

(This is about to be a long post. I'm going to put a little divider here but it would mean a lot to me if you read the whole thing.)

It's pride month. I know that means you get all shippy in your fanfics and fanarts. Love that, keep doing it. There's not enough yuri in this world. And I understand that sometimes the queer rep in certain media is too little, so you turn canonically heterosexual characters LGBTQ. Whatever, that happens in real life all the time.

But please, PLEASE leave the aro/ace characters alone. There's already so little aspec rep in media, the last thing we need is for people to take even those characters away.

Yes, some aromantic people have romantic relationships. Yes, some asexual people still have sex. But if you take a character that canonically is aro or ace and shows no signs of attraction in the media, you can't just make them gay. Greysexuals, demiromantics etc. are valid and beautiful and deserve more recognition and representation, but not like this. Not as a way to say "well technically they COULD still fall in love" and then not exploring that aromanticness any further.

Imagine how pissed you would be if someone took a canonically homosexual character and put them in a straight relationship in fanfic with some lousy excuse.

Actually that probably regularly happens. Well, it sucks, doesn't it?

Well anyways, my point is, platonic relationships are fun to explore too! Or even aro/ace/aplatonic could be interesting to write.

Make a story about the rejection that comes with falling in love with someone and then it turns out they're aro/ace, loving someone you know will never love you back. Hell, write a story about a character finding out they're aro/ace when they're already in a relationship. Like, there's so much angst inherent in this sexuality, write about that! Why must you write smut about (what is often) the single character you really shouldn't write smut about.

Jeez this is becoming a long rant. I just want to say a couple more disclaimers to prevent miscommunication here:

I am not against shipping. If they're fictional characters, do whatever you want. But please don't take away representation.

I do not represent the entire aro/ace (or aplatonic) community and am merely an individual. Others might disagree about this topic.

I have seen similar posts to this one, (thanks to my aro or ace mutuals, love you!) which inspired the creation of this post. If you find any similar posts you feel should be linked here then shoot me a dm or ask or something and I'll add it in.

Oh and yes, I'm aromantic. Not asexual (I think?) but definitely aromantic. I hadn't said that on here before, but at this point the closet is made out of glass. So if you've made it this far, thank you for reading my probably illegible ramblings and have a gay 'ol pride!

Sincerely, Cheaceboy

[qinluna]

bit of a rant.

— i’ve kind of fully accepted i’ll never be entirely accepted into the general queer community neither will my queer identity ever be validated.

arospec + aspec people have always received such animosity from the space that is supposed to be welcoming / accepting of them. i get really really really sad even setting foot into the dating world because i know my sexual identity is too complex for the simple minded to understand & i know it’s already gonna be too much for a man to understand.

i only find my comfort nowadays in fictional characters yes, and while i am comfortable with that… i just wish i could have a partner.

[queen0funova]

So I wrote a poem about my struggles with potentially being aro, but when I showed it to someone once, they said "This feels like something you'd give to someone you like."

And then like two weeks later, they made a comment about wanting to meet my partner, and I was like "I don't have one?"

[contagious-watermelon]

so, fellow aspec people, what are y'all's relationship to gay as an umbrella term? I've seen a lot of aroace people call themselves gay despite *technically* not being, and personally I've always been confused by that

(and also— I'd imagine that aroallo or alloace people who are gay for their other orientation would automatically include themselves with that term, but what about the arohets and acehets? how do y'all feel about the use of gay as an umbrella term?)

I'm just curious about other people's experiences bc i as an aromantic person feel rather uncomfortable being grouped in as gay because I've never been attracted to another man before, but anecdotally i seem to be in the minority