#but so the fuck do aroallos and alloaces

[nightvale359]

Sometimes i really see the dumbest most toxic takes of this app and i just want to delete my account

[mars-ipan]

y’know i’m happy aromantic is trending in response to that horrible discourse bait poll because so many people (aspec or not) are showing love and support for aromantics, but i’m also fucking pissed that we need to keep doing this when 2024 is literally days away. i know terfs are always gonna be pieces of shit but come the fuck on man

[nekropsii]

Wild how when I call Shipping Culture oppressively pervasive and awful for any Aro/Ace with the gall to enjoy anything on the Internet, I get called a Fun-Hating Killjoy and told to just shut the fuck up or off myself, no matter how mild or polite my comment is. Wild how when I say a character either is textually Aro/Ace or is easier to read as Aro/Ace than Alloromantic/sexual, people start talking down to me like I'm a child who doesn't know anything, saying "Friendly reminder that Aro(s)/Aces can Date/Have Sex too, just like us Normal People!". As if I don't know anything about my own identity. Wild how when I do either of these things or even just say I'm not into a pairing or uninvested in shipping in general people call me fucking homophobic, even if the (at least popularly perceived - let's be honest, people are wrong half the time) genders of the characters is never once made relevant. Even though their reasoning for me being homophobic is lack of investment in a gay pairing they like, and nothing more. Wild how people throw little baby tantrums at even the gentlest criticism of Shipping Culture, or someone choosing not to engage heavily in it. Wild how they have the audacity to ask, with hostility, what the fuck Aro(s)/Aces are talking about when they say Shipping Culture is hostile to Aro/Ace fans, or ask what's wrong with them when they say that they aren't into Shipping.

It's almost like Bigots don't realize they're being Bigots when they do Bigotry, so just saying you're not a Bigot isn't enough. It's almost like Aro/Ace people know what the hell they're talking about. It's almost like we have a fucking point. It's almost like we're valid in expressing contempt and frustration with the constant expectation to engage with Romance and Sexuality at every waking moment, even if we're Romance and/or Sex Favorable. It's almost like we're tired of getting our identities erased, and we're tired of expecting to "act normal", and we're tired of just taking it when Allos use the Favorable members of our communities as a scapegoat for why they should be allowed to totally erase any of our representation just for their "Harmless Queer Fun" - deliberately, and I mean DELIBERATELY, failing to recognize or acknowledge the character's orientation, and how an A-Spec's personal relationship with and expressions of Love are going to look drastically different from an Allo person's - and call us the Bigots when we even glance in the direction of objection.

It's almost like Allo/Amatonormativity are oppressive forces.

Alloromantics/sexuals are constantly looking for any reason they can to call Aro(s)/Aces unloving, unfeeling, frigid, soulless, cruel. Inhuman. They're looking for any reason they can to call us whiny children, stupid, people who "just haven't found the right one", addressing us only as "Works in Progress", or someone who can have their sexuality corrected with the right stimulus - Conversion Therapy and Corrective Rape are okay when it happens to us, after all. Any reason at all to call us heartless monsters. AlloAces are confused children. They can be fixed. AroAllos are manipulative, unfeeling sexual predators. They can't be fixed - just kill them. AroAces are frigid, mean bitches. They can be fixed. God forbid you're Aplatonic. God forbid you're part of the Repulsed spectrum. God forbid you're one of the Loveless. God forbid you hold any pride in your identity, God forbid you don't keep your mouth shut, God forbid you critique the overinflated importance Allos place onto Love as a concept. God forbid you critique something as asinine and juvenile as fucking Shipping Culture. Do any one of these and you've put a bright red, blazing neon target on your back.

Wild how the only real humans amongst us are the Romance, Sex, and Friendship Favorable who put their head down and mask as Allo, and side with the Allos when their fellow A-Specs get too loud for the comfort of their Allo friend's delicate little fee-fees. After all, Vitriol and Harassment are warranted when an Allo's feelings get slightly hurt that an Aro person says, on their own account, to no one in particular, that they're sick of every tag being 80% Shipping Content. Which is a vehemently evil personal attack, clearly.

Wild.

[onesidedradiostatic]

I'd like to know your full opinion on shipping Alastor, despite him being AroAce. I've seen conflicting opinions on it from AroAce People. I've seen some AroAce people say that shipping is taking away rep(and point out that people would be pissed if this was done to, say, Angel Dust), but I've seen other AroAce people saying it's fine and it's a spectrum. (A friend of mine who I believe is aroace takes it into consideration and makes it part of the shipping and story) Personally I'm on the spectrum(gray-ace and demiromantic), but I'm not AroAce in the way people usually think so I'm not sure I have a right to comment on it. I can also see both sides of the conversation.

(I had this in my drafts for a bit now so this ask is old)

I've mentioned time and time again, I personally do not like reciprocated romantic alastor ships. and as someone who possibly falls more under greyro (idfk man), I do not believe alastor falls under that either CANONICALLY, it's just pretty clear to me from the rosie dialogue that alastor is specifically an aroace who is not into dating

but I will not police people for what they ship and I do not think harassment is okay, there's definitely better things to spend your energy on anyways. if it were up to me, the only thing that would exist are one-sided and qpr alastor ships, but it's not up to me, so it is what it is.

it's whatever really, what I care most about is that people don't try to insist he's not aroace in canon to try to give themselves hope that their ship will happen. I care more about our canonical rep (*cough* just fucking solidly confirm it vivzie *cough*) than what people do in fanon even if I don't like it. ultimately, I stay in my own space and don't bother those people as long as they don't bother me.

the main issue with like all of this, why these constant arguments over what type of aroace alastor is exist, is that alastor is our ONLY aspec rep. the aspec community is so varied, favourable, neutral, repulsed, aroallo, alloace, aroace, demi, grey. one singular character cannot possibly singlehandedly encompass ALL our different experiences. he is only ever going to represent one type of aroace, one type of aspec. because he is a singular character. I genuinely think the worst thing to come out of alastor shipping discourse is the amount of aspec infighting I've seen. at the end of the day, we're all starving and we're all fighting over a character who will only ever represent one specific type of aroace.

it's like if every mlm/wlw person only got ONE mlm/wlw character, you may see gay people/lesbians and mspecs fighting over that character because they want the character to represent them, arguing over how mspecs should be allowed to use that character to represent their mspec attraction or gay people/lesbians arguing that the character should firmly remain exclusively attracted to men/women to represent them.

it's a case of people desperately wanting to be represented and aspecs are so underrepresented we never get to see everyone fully represented in a single piece of media.

[redysetdare]

I'm gonna tell you right now that no aspec person in the community has it better than any other. no one has it worse than any other. We all have it bad in multiple different ways and to claim someone has it better or worse is just oppression Olympics bullshit and an excuse to pretend you're punching up when you're just causing infighting.

No Aroaces are not treated better than any other aspec identity. No Alloaces are not treated better than any other aspec identity. No aroallos are not treated better than any other aspec identity. No other a-attractions are not treated better than any other aspec identity.none of these guys are treated worse than each other either.

everyone faces issues. everyone's issues are different. some issues have overlap. some issues are the same with just a different coat of paint. You do not get to down play other peoples problems just because you want to put yours forward. You can bring up your problems without down playing other peoples. Alloaces face oppression by being called abusive for not having sex with their partners. They get broken up with, labeled as mentally ill or told they have a medical issue, and threatened with conversion therapy to "fix" them. Aroallos get called abusers because they don't want romantic relationships and dont feel romantic feelings towards people. they get harassed and labeled mentally ill for their identity. Aroaces are called broken and often not believed when it comes to their identity. society cannot imagine someone who is not interested in romance or sex and people will often believe aroace is an identity used as an excuse and will try to force themselves onto aroace people to "change their mind" or "make an exception" Other a-attractions get thrown under the bus as being told their problems aren't "real issues" or that they're "mentally unwell" or "Evil" for not feeling their certain kind of attraction. Aplatonics get called "Anti social freaks" or "Assholes with no friends" and Afamilials get called "Terrible people" because they "Don't care about their family" and so on.

We all have problems. Society does not accept any of us. Stop trying to claim one of us has it better and that makes it okay to downplay their issues in favor of your own. We are not enemies. We are not your oppressors. We are all struggling the least we can do is fucking support each other. Some of y'all are starting to repeat acephobic talking points from the ace discourse era but with a different coat of paint to frame whatever aspec identity you're talking about as the problem and it's only really coming off as aphobic on your end.

[heart-freak]

its late and i am tired..but i feel like talking. okay. being aromantic and asexual is quite odd. th' concept itself is not very out of ordinary, but... the people do insist i can still date. still kiss. still fuck. have a qpr. ist dont want to do any of those things, ever, altho i agree..i coudl. if i wanted.but i dont. however, i dont wish to come off as cold... some may think the fact i dont want to be more than friends, even in a queer platonic way, makes me that way (god, even to aplatonic and afamiliar individuals. or loveless aros. or aroallos. however, im none of those things) but i think i am a very loving person. i love so much.i love my friends always. i say that, i do reciprocate things such as "i love you" , when said to me..usually. saying i love things is something i do often...well,mostly about things...but people too! many "i love my friends," posts. or thoughts. many many "i love my friends" thoughts. sometime i feel as if im not doing good for the people who are allosexual.. or asexuals who are into certain stuff. that existence is okay, tho i am sex repulsed and asexual,so ist dont enjoy it.. but i guess thats the clear dvidier there. i dont hate sex (or romance for that matter) but i just..mm.. disconnect from it. okay. have fun,dont bring me into it. you understand (i hope) and i say you can be like me..and still be such a loving person. or you can allosexual and alloromantic. or alloaro or alloace... ih not disgusting or abusive(i cant fahtom why individuals think these identites are abusive. can everyone earnestly say they wanted a serious relationship with everyone theyve found sexually appealing . or wanted to be in bed with everyone they had a crush on..seriously..) you can be dating someone only half the time..the other half you are a qpr...you know, a milion combinations, i feel, maybe you get the idea by now. also, i wish people would stop treating thes elike mental illness... can you believe it? i don't want a romantic partner...so im mentally ill? i dont want to have sex so i need mental help? do you hear your self. if you truly believe so, that it is mental illness, must you be rude about it? what does this achieve? you are just huritng someone. and..some people are that way because of trauma...so iguess you could say it about that, but, again, meaness doesnt help... besides, must we really fret over someone not wanting to fuck or be in a relationship>? ist not that deep,i think. we will all live through it. individuals like me do not hate people who have sex or smooch and call each other pet names... i certianly dont.. being rejected by an aro person is really not that different from being rejected form a person who's not into you, is it? the aroperosn is also nto into you..do you see what i mean? well. this is a rant now. i think ivbe written enough. goodnight

[butchsenshi]

you have got to understand that aroallos didnt fucking do shit . you have got to include aroallos in your pro aspec posts because we have done nothing but get fucking shit on constantly . when you were all talking about the hate on aspecs lately you conveniently forgot to mention that it was because of the demonization of aroallos + sexual relationships without romance ( which , while not exclusive to us , was very blatantly targeted at us in The Poll lol ) . the amount of alloaces and aroaces and " allies " i see agreeing with people who see us as perverts or selfish or straight up fucking predatory is insane and i never see anybody talking about it . you cannot pretend we dont deserve a place in aspec discussions you cannot pretend that sex without romance is this impure or gross or violent thing or simply that it Isnt Relevant to aspec identity . you cannot ignore us when we tell you youre being shitty to your own community !! why the fuck does everyone want to ignore aroallos so bad !!

[thebluekid-underyourbed]

Hi aroallo here who just saw your post about how aromatic and asexual need to be shown as separate things as well as together instead just together, and I wanted to say that I really appreciate it. I’m sending you this anonymously because the story I’m about to relay is very personal but it is relevant to that topic. I am romance repulsed and heterosexual, I found out about aroace people and figured that maybe that was me because I hated the idea of being in a romantic relationship but also I felt physically attracted to people. After a lot of misery and self torment I eventually found myself sitting in my bathroom crying with an x-acto blade prepared to castrate myself because I would rather do that so that I could “be aroace” than be in a romantic relationship. Thankfully I was too scared to do. I eventually found out you can be aro and not and am proud to be aroallo. I love all of my aroace brothers, sisters and non-conforming to the gender binary siblings and understand that many of y’all view your aromanticism and asexuality as intertwined but please for the sake of myself, aroallos and those who have yet to discover that they’re aroallo please remember to separate them every once in a awhile.

Hello anon, absolutely of course! Even as an aroace person myself I don't at all see my aroness being tied to my aceness, and I can only imagine how difficult it can be for people who aren't both. As much as I love how close the communities are due to shared experiences, aroallo people and alloace people are often left out and I think that's pretty fuckin stupid. I'm sex-repulsed ace, but I'm oriented aromantic (Grayro) and sometimes when I don't feel "aro enough" it's hard to feel connected to my aceness due to only being shown the two labels together.

In any case, thank you so much for sharing that. It was probably quite hard to recall and share that so I appreciate it a lot :)

Exactly as you said, I want to make everyone happy, and so I'll always try my best to separate my aro from my ace. Just wanna say that you're so fucking cool and you should keep being yourself and finding your community and being comfortable, fuck all the ops.

Love loses, peace bitches <2

[hcguesstheauthormessageboard]

🪽 terrifies me, 💡 THAT'S SO FREAKING COOL

fic update: fleshing out the dynamic between these two is so funny because i am building it from scratch lmao. i think they're both very insistent on self-care and absolute hypocrites about it, although it's more obvious in the non-hermit. i'm working on my characterization of the hermit because she currently lacks sufficient Silliness. lastly, fun fact: they're alloace aroallo solidarity!

fishbowl anon (⚗️? i do not think that is a fishbowl however.)

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EMOJI I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE ⚗️⚗️⚗️⚗️⚗️?????????

[fruit-kick]

Camp Camp LGBTQ+ Headcanons but I have favorites and leave most characters out

Max (he/him, transmasc aro)

he thinks romance is an inherently hilarious concept and he's going through his "ew pink and girly things, im above it all" transmasculine overcompensation phase. it's also his hoodie. when he gets older he gets more comfortable in his own skin and likes to paint his nails (not just black but other fun colors too) and experiment with fashion

Nikki (she/her, cis lesbian on the arospec)

its her crush on Ered and the general confusion around the perceived importance of romance. thinks it can be cute and fun but overall doesn't care too much about it (her and max are arospec besties)

Neil (he/him, cis gnc pan)

a fucking menace to gender norms and aggressive about it. i think hes pan and doesn't care about gender as long as he can vibe with them and they're interested in science (or just listen to him go on and on really.)

Nerris (she/they/elf, non binary demi)

i am a firm believer in Nerris using neopronouns, especially elf related ones ones. i think she's demi and it takes a long time with quality bonding for them to feel romantic attraction and it is devastating when elf does

Preston (any pronouns, cis gnc mlm)

i don't know how to put it cohesively but i think preston is just so open and no fucks given about his gender presentation. i think she's the type to flaunt just how pretty and handsome they look like he has peacock energy imo. also "any pronouns" includes neopronouns and nerris 100% assigns her neopronouns (what are they? idk its up to god)

Harrison (he/it, void, bisexual)

OMG i am such a believer in voidpunk harrison like i loveee characters who feel non-human and i just think it fits him so well. it reclaims essentially being rejected from humanity and normalcy because of his magic and embraces it. i also think its bisexual with a lean towards men

Gwen (she/her, cis, aroallo)

i don't have much to say about her and david except that they're alloace + aroallo solidarity. i think it makes sense for Gwen as she doesn't seem interested in other people romantically and just prefers to write erotic fanfiction or go on dates with seamonsters

David (he/she, non-binary, alloace)

i also think it makes sense for David to be alloace because of Bonquisha telling him he's not exactly good in bed. she feels strongly about romance but is extremely awkward in sexual situations (him coming back from muffin tops with campbell looking so exhausted- i mean campbell is exhausting to be around but david looked so done LMFAOO) also the whole girlboss hat thing

Daniel (he/she, bigender, unlabelled)

i have no idea why. i do not have an explanation for bigender daniel i just think its real and canon. it was bestowed upon me by god themselves. as for unlabelled i just think she would kill you first

Jen (she/her, transfem, sapphic)

shes a t4t murder blood violence sapphic. not much to say here

EXTRAS:

i'm about to explain some lore that only exists inside me and a select few people's brains but. max being close with harrison who's dating neil and preston (who're also friends with nerris!) helped him gain more confidence in his gender expression because of how little they care about anything making sense, like, at all. i absolutely think that max learned how to paint his nails and put on a good outfit from Neil and Preston. he used to think that Harrison and Nerris were weird for being xenogendered and using neopronouns but now he'll pummel anyone who makes fun of them

Daniel and David share the same pronouns and are that spiderman pointing at spiderman meme

Gwenvid sounds impossible by this point but they still work. somehow. through otherworldly and queerplatonic means

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

They basically said “allos and/or aces are not lgbt” so I’m assuming they meant allosexual and alloromantic*

*(and alloplatonic etc but honestly I don’t bother labelling everything past allosexual/romantic but that’s another convo (eventually it’s too many fucking labels how many do you need to say you aren’t something? Like cis straight and allo should be the three for not but I’m not allo and specificity for each ID is insane as there’s like 15 different a-identities, basically only specify is you are not aren’t, same with allo in most cases. Like alloace and aroallo are great but no one outside of the queer community really labels it it’s just “oh no I’m straight” which basically covers it and yes I know it doesn’t fully but stop making it more complicated we have bigger issues))

Yikes

[ars0nism]

least favorite thing about existing is how engrained h*rry p*tter is in society like if i dont like dsmp yeah whatever block the tumblr tags and dont go on tik tok too much whatever. dont like that shitshow??? good luck trying to avoid it!! its fucking everywhere!!

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

angrier shorter (?) version of my last post

"im aroallo so aces aren't my community" wrong, & isolates aroaces

"im aceallo so aros aren't my community" wrong, & isolates aroaces

"im just aro/ace so aces/aros are not in my specific smaller community, but we are the same wider community and aces/aros are, therefore, still my community" correct, & not isolating aroaces !

allo-aros do need to care about ace issues. allo-aces do need to care about aro issues. because 1) why the fuck wouldn't you care about ace/aro issues??? 2) We Are The Same Wider Community Oh My God

[obligatory "many aroallos and alloaces are lovely, this is talking about a specific problem i've seen among select people" disclaimer]

[helpicant-stop]

oh my fucking god LITERALLY. although i would say my first mainstream exposure to the aro and ace culture was through alloace people promoting "we can fall in love and date, we just don't feel sexual attraction" and aroace people came long after that

because i think it's a lot easier to sell a group of people who still feel romantic attraction but just don't want sex (or do but for alternative reasons than an allo person, but that's a whole nother thing) than a group that doesn't feel romance or sexual desire at all

there's also the aspect of how alloaces are babied and seen as pure for their attraction, so they're given to the innocent (sometimes downright childish) character or the aloof proper character, and aroaces are hermits in the woods or single "cool" aunts or a person jaded by love "who just needs the right person" at the end of the story

even online in comics or fic or ocs, all i see are alloaces and aroaces while aroallo characters are as rare as a blue moon, and they're usually in the form of the stereotype of the guy who loves to sleep around but never commit

i think this does extend to the actual aroallo presence online and irl too, because when you look up "aromantic" 99% of the time it's accompanied with "asexual" and i can only find posts about being aroallo in posts specifically tagged that. i think i can count on one hand how many aroallo friends i have, while alloace on two and aroace on maybe three or four. but i'm getting derailed again so

Do not get me wrong I think it's great that we're slowly getting more aroace representation (and I am both aro and ace myself) but istg people forget that aromanticism and asexuality exist outside of eachother ESPECIALLY when it comes to aromanticism. Acknowledge all aspecs not just the overlap between aros and aces

[aroallow]

HELLO.

hello

Ngl.

I have no clue how to use tumblr.

But.

I’m gonna do my best.

Basically.

I am really fucking tired of all aroallo content being ppl complaining about there being no aroallo content. And no one making the damn aroallo content. So I’m gonna make it. Even if it fucking kills me. Which. Using tumblr probably will do.

So.

Hello! I am Marcus (I use any name starting with m but I’ll use marcus here primarily), I’m non-binary (I don’t use pronouns 🙂 good luck), I’m a minor, autistic, I have OCD and ADHD, and I am non-sam aromantic but this blog is dedicated to that aroallo identity!!

Please. Pls i beg don’t let me embarrass myself and flop. And help me figure out tumblr idk what I’m doing here

My main target audience is, of course, aroallos, but aroaces you are always free to share your aro experiences here 🫶🏽 alloaces and alloallo lgbtq ily but please keep in mind your spectating position when interacting. Cishethets….. hi……

Anyways.

I cant wait to forget about this account and drop it in a week 😁 see u!!

[transmasc-wizard]

alloaces are NOT aro experts.

so this is something ive been contemplating posting for awhile. im only now doing so bc of some things arospec mutuals (& arospecs in general) have posted that i strongly agree with, and i want to put in my hand.

So, being ace and aro are different. (Duh.) now, i am bi aroace, meaning (for me) im not sure if my attraction is alterous or romantic, and the definition of aro is experiencing "LITTLE to no romantic attraction", which i fit. (Im just straight up ace, probably; again, the "little" could be there, idk.) I know what it's like to be ace, what its like to be aro, what its like to be bi. (these are not contradictory.) as an ace, i can talk about ace experiences, and as an aro, i can talk about aro experiences. i can also talk about aroace experience, and vaguely relate with aceallo experiences (bc i have experienced The Romo Feels a few times).

I cannot speak on aroallo experiences; never once have i felt sexual attraction to someone without romantic feels. Never once have i felt sexual attraction to someone, period, but the first sentence is still true because of that. So, while i am oriented, angled, whateverthefuck aroace, i cannot speak on ALL aspec experiences. That makes sense, right?

Right?

then why the fuck do i constantly see double-allos asking ace-allos what it's like to be aro???

It's infuriating. Because the fucking alloromantics pull the answers out of their asses, and then the double-allos go on their merry way with a completely wrong impression.

Don't get me wrong--i fucking love ace-allos, they're part of my community and part of the big queer family. But being ace doesn't mean you automatically can speak for aros, and vice versa. We have things in common, of course, but we have to support each other in the areas where we don't; ie ace-allos should absolutely fight with aros and trans people on removing "love is love" as the main queer slogan. (If you're wondering what the problem with LIL is, i'll be explaining in another post within a week from now.) Similarly, aroallos should fight with aceallos when aceallos are trying to affirm that fulfilling romance can exist without sex.

Basically TLDR: its very late and im kinda incoherent but im tired of aros being shoved aside so alloaces can pretend they understand everything/anything about being aromantic, because they dont, just like aroallos dont understand everything/anything about being asexual.