#are we using his dream into reality yes yes sure are
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clubsmarties · 2 months ago
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​❝ let’s go get hot chocolate then go for a walk. ❞ - eli/laurel (following your theme of recovery era & shenanigans) @overnightheartbeats
Laurel must have sensed his jitteriness at being put on bedrest for the duration of his last week of recovery and for that he was grateful. He hardly complained as she tended to him which gave them slight domestic bliss. They had a lot of time to make up for, with his temporary memory loss and the fact that laurel saved his life being a match for the necessary organ. They took given a second chance to another level. So, as he watched her move around the room, his room which was now more like their room he couldn't help but smile.
"You've done enough, come take a seat." Eli patted the side of the bed willing her to come to him. He reached out for her and pulled her in as he left whisker like kisses against her lips. The idea she came out with made him smile. "Yes," he breathed into her mouth and nodded. "Lets go get hot chocolate and put cinnamon on it. Also maybe ice cream. Can't have hot without the cold. But first," he nibbled on her lip before he sucked on it and gave her a kiss. "Stay here for a second." His voice was low like the room would get their secrets if he spoke any louder.
"Just a few more minutes." Eli murmured as he enjoyed the feel of her lips against his and had a vague memory of wanting to do this when he laid there in bed out of commission.
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thewritetofreespeech · 3 months ago
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aemond - prompt 1
Prompt list - 1. Breeding kink
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------------------------------⚔---------------------------------
“Up! Up!”
“Up! Up!”
“Hehe
you’re both too big now for me to carry the both of you on my hip like before. Why don’t we flip a coin then? Heads Jaehaerys you can go first, and tails means Jaehaera can go. Sound like a fun game?”
Aemond watched from the table with his family as his wife made a deal with his niece & nephew. Completely fair. Void of favoritism. He remembers no such favors from his own childhood.
His wife was wonderful with the children. As one of the few Helaena let near them in recent months, due to some new fear she had concocted in her mind, Jaehaera & Jaehaerys clung to her like shadows. Even Maelor, still at his mother’s breast, would swing his fat little arms in his wife’s direction every time she passed. And she never missed an opportunity to give him attention or affection whenever he, or any of the children, clamored for her.
“Everything alright Aemond?”
His trance was broken by her words when she returned to him. Whatever deal or game they had struck over now as a nurse came to put the children to bed. Aemond nodded. Dreams of his own silver-haired babes following her around, tugging at her skirts, in need of constant attention from that sweet face drift out of his mind like dragon’s wings on the horizon. “Yes. I am fine. Let us retire for the evening as well.”
The sun would be up soon. He couldn’t see it from the window, but just felt it in his soul. That time of night that was more the wee hours of the morning. Where the darkness would finally break to the light.
They haven’t slept at all. Rested, but not slept. Sleep seemed immaterial in comparison to the need to fill her again & again. Sleep, water, food, air. All of it seemed trivial as he was a man possessed with possessing her.
“Aemond
.please
.no more
.”
“Just once more.”
His wife whined as his cock still inside her slid back and into her again. One bout giving way to another with truly no rest in between this time.
He was consumed with making his dream a reality. Fill her with so much of him that his child would have no choice but to take root in her belly. They could have a babe come spring. Or a sweet summer child with his pale violet eyes and his mother’s gentle disposition. Aemond thrust harder into her, as if driving the idea home with his cock, making his wife cry out. “Ah! Aemond! Oh Gods!”
She wouldn’t have to take care of Aegon’s children anymore. She would have her own babes to keep her busy. They would be strong and perfect. In constant need of their mother like he was. Maybe she would give him twins like Helaena gave his brother? If his fragile sister could do it, surely his wife could do it too. Judging by the cum spilling out of her onto the already soiled sheets, Aemond had given her more than enough opportunity.
“Aemond
.Aemond
.”
She couldn’t say much more than his name now and moan. Good. There shouldn’t be any thought of others or anything but the two of them as they made their child.
He looked down at the woman who was going to give him his future and found a blank slate there. Broken with pleasure. Those intelligent, bright eyes black and hazy with lust. Disheveled to the point of madness by his own mad need to put a babe inside her.
He leaned down to kiss her rough, swollen lips and swallowed a whine from his princess. He felt her breath quicken against his lips and her walls quake around him. Her overstimulated body climaxing with even the most minor addition of stimuli between them at this point.
Aemond came just short after that. One final push. Spilling his seed just as deep as the rest before he finally, eventually, let his wife go.
He fell to the other side of the bed, listening to her gasp for breath beside him, before he got up and went to retrieve a rag for the two of them. His wife hiccupped out a gasp when the cool material touched her feverous skin. Her whole-body twitching as it was still too overstimulated to determine how the touch was intended. Aemond cleaned her body starting with her arms. Moving down to her breasts, imagining them larger and fuller in just 4 moons time, then down to her belly that would do just the same. She whined when he gently wiped at her overly sensitive cunt. Red and swollen. His seed still glistening in the folds. He doesn’t want to get rid of it but knows she would be uncomfortable sleeping like that. Aemond had already made her uncomfortable enough for one evening.
He cleaned himself off with much less care and crawled back into bed beside his wife. She willingly came to him when he pulled her in his arms. Or perhaps she was too exhausted to think and just went along with him. Her body still twitching now & then, even in her sleep, from the frenzy he just put her through.
He kissed her head, then covered them with whatever clean blanket he could find.
Come spring they would have a child of their own. A silver haired paragon, who would take Vhagar after he was gone and be his legacy for when his bones became ash. After that, they would work on another. Then another. Then another. His branch would flourish as much as his great-grandfather, and they would build their family to the point that they did not need any others but their own.
He almost felt bad for Jaehaera & Jaehaerys. Soon they would not have their wonderful aunt to dote on them. But his children, and his family, would be what came first.
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formulamar · 1 month ago
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she’s a ferrari - part 4
charles leclerc x yn!ferrari reader
fc: Addison Rae
summary: as a child, the great-grand daughter of Enzo Ferrari used to spend her weekends hanging around the paddock. but once she went off to university her appearances became rare. what happens when she starts working for Ferrari? and... one of the drivers steals her heart.
READ PART THREE HERE
DECEMBER 2023
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charlesleclerc16updates
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liked by forzararri and 2,372 others
charlesleclerc16updates: CHARLES AND YN RECENTLY!
120 comments
f1fan0: i’m so glad they’re not letting that silly article come between them đŸ«¶
-> scunteriafer: exactly!!!! that article is ridiculous charles would never do something like that
cl16fan: favs đŸ„č💞
lechairs: was the second pic taken in monaco??
-> charlesleclerc16fan: italy
-> charlnor: OHHHHHHH đŸ€”
ynferrari
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liked by charles_leclerc, fernandoalonso and 112,921 others
ynferrari: galaaaaaa â€ïžâ€đŸ”„ big thank you to everyone who helped me organize this big event! it was my honor to plan it! had so much fun, see you next year!
8,532 comments
ynscousin: forza familia ❀
liked by ynferrari
carlossainz55: Gracias for a great party, Yn!
-> ynferrari: thank you for your energy!!! love you carlitos!!!
tifosi1722: UR SO BEAUTIFUL YN
ynferrarifan08: most gorgeous hostesses ever
user: ruining our sport and our team
iamrebeccad: had so much fun 💞
liked by ynferrari
user: so now she’s just getting involved with everything huh...
ynbff: we love planner yn
charles_leclerc: Until next time❀
liked by ynferrari
-> tifosi1722: SO CONTRACT RESIGNED OR WHAT????
-> charlnor: so there WILL be a next time then???
comments on this post have been limited
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JANUARY 2023
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rumorhasitf1
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liked by fernandofan97, charlesfan75 and 4,626 others
rumorhasitf1: ïżœïżœïżœïżœ RUMOR CONFIRMED 🚹
The dream continues for Charles Leclerc in RED.
Leclerc and Ferrari have extended their contract.
430 comments
charlnor: living out his childhood dream đŸ„č
tifosi028: i’m so happy!!!! the team loves him
princecharles16: further proof he is il pridestinato ❀❀❀❀
f1fan5: LEGENDARY
charlesfan83: he's staying home :)
ferrarienthusiast38: GRANDEEEEEEE
f1fan33: i seriously can't imagine him anywhere else. life is good.
scuderiaferrari and ynferrari
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liked by F1, susie_wolff and 350,892 others
ynferrari: I've had the rare privilege of witnessing the beautiful madness of motorsport right in front of my eyes. I grew up running around on track, moving car sketches from the dinner table, holding the car parts by my fingerprints. A plethora of memories that, sure I adored, but for the longest time was unable to acknowledge the significance of.
It may sound silly but it wasn't until I was a teenager that I began to realize not everyone got to be so close to their favorite sport. When I turned fifteen I got into the habit of walking around the grandstands before the race started and talking with other girls my age. These conversations taught me a lot. At nearly every race, I would hear a variation of "It's my dream to drive an F1 car." After a chorus of "Mine too!" there would be an awkward realization that dream was nearly impossible to accomplish. Women, weren't widely accepted in motorsport. Being a female fan was difficult enough already. Imagine trying to be a driver?
Then, I did start to imagine. Young girls from all around the world dying to experience the adrenaline. Just once. To feel the champagne coat them. Just once. Or even to be able to sit in an F1 car. Just once. A small moment that could change their lives forever.
When Susie reached out to me and shared her aspirations for creating an all-female racing series, I knew it would restore hope in the dreams of young girls all over the world. When she offered me an opportunity to help make this a reality I never considered saying anything but yes. I'm overjoyed to join Prema Racing, F1 Academy and Susie on this journey. I only dream of witnessing other women experience what I have so many times, running on track, peeking at the sketches and touching the car so gently because you're afraid of breaking it. And even more, I hope they cross the finish line with an indescribable feeling pulsing through their bodies. I hope they all hear their anthem on the top step. We can make this happen. Thank you to everyone on this project, thank you Susie, thank you @/f1 and THANK YOU FAMIGLIA FERRARI! (Ferrari family)
147,982 comments
susie_wolff: What a beautiful post, YN. Thank you for believing in the vision.
-> ynferrari: ❀
cl16fan: i'm actually sobbing. i love you so much. thank you for doing this.
-> ynferrari: thank you for supporting it :)
lec4: this is amazing, you're amazing!!!!
lando_norris: ❀
-> lando_norris: btw I'm glad you get to put that degree to use. It looked difficult.
-> ynferrari: oh if you only knew...
ferrarifan62: you described it perfectly.
charlnor: ok did not expect to ball my eyes out first thing in the morning but god this is beautiful.
charles_leclerc: Can't wait to see everything you accomplish ❀
-> ynferrari: ti amo ❀
-> lechairs: so after seeing this interaction I started crying again
-> cl16fan: literally me too
lordpercevalfan: i love you girl. you left me speechless. i'm so excited to watch!!!
fernando_alonso: Muy orgulloso ❀ (very proud)
liked by ynferrari
charles_leclerc’s story
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â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ© â‹†ïœĄÂ°âœ©
formulaamar🎬: okay please don’t hate me
 it’s been forever 😭😭😭 school and work have had me on a leash!!!!!! but here is the FINAL part of she’s a ferrari. i wasn’t originally planning on getting so emotional but i think it makes it special! i’ll try being more active :) REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!!!
taglist đŸŒ·đŸ·ïž: @agmoon03 @janeh22 @kindestofkings @ttokkisbee @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @lottalove4evelyn@1800-love-me@blushmimi @emryb @majasophieanna@heavy-vettel @tvdtw4ever @harrysdimple05 @chelle1306
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dreamermonica · 4 months ago
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—gender neutral reader x bakugou, just a drabble escalating into a oneshot cause my brain's rotting with mha (mostly katsuki) pls save me from the dump called writing block errr also mild language cuz this is boom boy
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“what the hell?”
a very bad word crossed your mind the moment BAKUGOU had entered your dorm room—following shortly is a silence so dense that you swore you heard your stomach drop.
the object that had piqued the attention of your visitor were perched right upon your desk. the very same object that could very well also be the reason you meet your demise.
your dynamight plushies and figurines,
yes. plural.
—were bared in display, to the very man you harbored a big fat crush on.
the silence enveloped your room like a tight veil. a shudder makes its way down your spine when you finally felt a piercing gaze burning onto the back of your head. you are so fucked.
“i—uhm, i can explain!” you break the silence, holding your hands up whilst turning around to meet his crimson eyes—scanning you over whilst you attempt to figure out an excuse.
let's do a quick throwback:
see, you were rather confident in your abilities and quirk—one of the best, you smugly think—but academics were still a great obstacle to overcome, even for an upcoming pro hero. it's a formidable force that's against your dream becoming reality! not really, but you get the point.
damned ectoplasm shouldn't be teaching math! your brain cells were always fizzled out like kaminari's after he used up all his electricity by the time whenever ectoplasm had left the room after a discussion.
a dark cloud looms over your head more often after a particular topic you're struggling to comprehend, the fact that you were called out earlier by ectoplasm and miserably failed to answer didn't hell—and you're sure your god-sent classmates have noticed it.
a few smarties had reached out already—like yaoyorozu and iida, offering their notes with a smile and promising a few tutor lessons if you were to accept. keyword: if.
even though you were tearing up at their kindness and thoughtfulness, you gently declined them before slapping a fist to your chest—
“i shall overcome this by myself! my failure to adapt is a known weakness of mine, and i shall defeat this boss known as calculus with my own strength, no matter what it takes!”
a distant 'how manly!' sounded throughout the room.
it's not manly, you mentally cry out to kirishima. you were just embarrassed to actually get help because you were one of the top students of the class. you need to uphold your image as a capable student, whatever it takes! not so manly now, are we?!
the top one and top two worriedly glance you over, reluctant at your reasoning, but they hadn't pushed it further thankfully, and wished you good luck.
you definitely needed it, you sulk.
your stupid declaration must've spread throughout the entire class, cause now a scowling bakugou katsuki is stomping his way over to you once classes had finished, stopping a few feet away from you whilst you were packing up your stuff.
“oi. i heard your dumb ass earlier—why are you refusing to ask for help?! you plan on getting behind all of us just because of that damn picture perfect image of yours?!” he yells, and you're now sweating, twiddling with your fingers.
you're not surprised that he approached you—he had declared you as one of his rivals (he called you a stepping stone to his victory but same thing!) ages ago and knowing his competitive nature, you surmised he was probably disappointed that you were stumped in such a pathetic way.
“w-what pride do you mean, bakugo? haha...”
“shut the fuck up. you know what i'm talking about,” a finger presses onto your chest as if to emphasize his point, and you just now realize the distance between you.
caramel wafts its way to your nose. heat crawls up your neck as you avert your gaze away from his chiseled face.
he hisses at your dazed look, “i'm beating calculus into your goddamn brain later tonight whether you like it or not, you got that extra?!”
you break out of your stupor when he leans away from you to gauge your reaction. of course he'd say something like that, even if he was just trying to help.
you shrink under his gaze, embarrassed and defeated at his intensity. if even the big bad bakugo thinks you need help, then maybe you really do.
“...okay.” you resign after a few seconds of contemplation, “thank you, bakugo.”
clicking his tongue, he gives you one last look before turning on his heels, walking towards the door.
you look around and realize that you were the only ones left in the classroom. did he offer his help in private so you would keep the image you're upholding? eh, whatever, he was probably the embarrassed one because he never offers help willingly to anyone.
you blink.
wait—he never helps unless someone would beg on their knees for him, so why—
“...you were always the one preaching about lowering my pride or whatever,”
your eyes dart towards the sound of his voice where bakugo paused his steps at the exit, glaring at you over his shoulder.
he huffs as he adds on, “cut that shit out, hypocrite.”
you blink owlishly and he's gone as he turned the corner, his loud footsteps echoing through the hall.
shaking your head, you pack your stuff up and rush out the door shortly after, eager to return to the comfort provided by your bed.
his words ring in your ears as you walked back to the dorms.
—now, baam, we're back to the present.
you're so fucked, if it wasn't mentioned earlier.
bakugou katsuki is now staring at you, silently demanding an explanation on why you have a row of mini dynamights, ranging from the winter version of his costume, to one of him wearing his signature black tank top—he hasn't even debuted yet as a pro-hero, so the amount you have is probably concerning. maybe even borderline creepy.
fuck being creepy—this probably looks horrifying!
“it's—uh...”
you hadn't had the chance to hide them before he so rudely, barged into your room carrying the materials needed for your study session.
“well, you're my idol, because you're so strong and—” inflate his ego! it's not like it wasn't the truth either with how much you compliment him during training, so maybe he'll be distracted enough and let it slide—
“did ponytail make these for you?” he asked quietly, ignoring your praises and walking past your panicked state as he got closer to inspect the tiny versions of him. he slowly took one from the bunch—a plushie of him wearing the suit he specifically used for a mission in otheon. “how the hell are the outfits so accurate?”
“...”
“answer my questions and i'll let this weird obsession of yours a secret, fuckin' creep.” he seems to like the way you took in his words, horrified, a smirk dancing on his lips as he turns away.
this sadist, you swear to all might...
“okay, okay! so uh...” you gulp as he continues inspecting the army of tiny bakugous, “yes, i had yaoyorozu make them. as for the outfits—i borrowed your blueprints, remember? it was to find some inspiration in enhancing my own costume, but i guess it also had some other uses...?”
he grunts in response to your explanation as his eyes move away from the desk and land onto your bed, where a few more plushies of him resided.
your face is definitely burning up by now.
“wasn't aware you were a fan,” you could hear the grin as he spoke, and you're one hundred percent sure he's never going to live this down, “well, i guess it's expected. i am amazing after all.”
“...yeah.” you agree, albeit cautious, trying to sound uneager to avoid inflating his ego anymore than you already have.
he moves to lean over your bed and grabs a plushie of him wearing his school uniform, squeezing it lightly, “but if you want me to be honest—this shit's kinda creepy.”
would he stop you if you just took a swan dive out of your window? should you get him to roast you alive right now? you wish all might would just united-states-smash you at this moment.
your hands shoot up to your face as you crouched down, too humiliated to even look at him even if he wasn't facing you.
“kill me now...”
“i've got plenty of chances to do that in the future, don't worry,” he's oddly calm for someone who's standing in a room practically devoted to him, “this is pretty adorable of you i must admit,”
you freeze. tickle my pickle! no fucking way he just called you adorable!
“you got a crush on me or something?”
ah.
this is it. you hope you've done enough good to end up in heaven atleast.
“well, if you're not gonna kill me, we should probably just study and get it over with—oh, we should also just go down to the commons—
“i told you to answer all my questions, didn't i!?”
“...”
the blonde finally turns, hands free of any plushies, crossing his arms over his chest as you stare up at him through the gaps of your fingers. he raises a challenging brow at your hesitation.
“well?” he urges on, “did you go mute from embarrassment or something?”
you say something underneath your breath and he clicks his tongue in annoyance.
“speak up, you idio—”
“i like you, bakugou katsuki.”
you stand up from your crouched position and situated yourself to your desk, bringing out your textbooks from a drawer as he stared on silently. the silence had grown thicker than the one before.
“let's just get this study session over with so you can go, okay?” you spin around your office chair to look at him with a small smile, as if you didn't just confess, “wanna go down to the commons? my room seems to be uncomfortable for y—
“i was joking about the creep shit, you dumbass.”
you stare at him in surprise when he holds you by the shoulders, gently pushing down to prevent you from getting up from your chair.
“bakugou...?”
“...i'll teach you here. no need to get up.”
“but—”
“shut up. get ponytail to make me a plushie of you so we're even, alright?”
confused, you're about to speak up again and he resolves it by squeezing your cheeks, resulting in only incoherent babbles from your mouth.
“bafhkugou—!”
“ugh, i like you too, if your dumbass hasn't gotten it yet.”
“ohfmayghodf—”
“shut it. no more words from you.” he waits a moment for you to calm down, and lets go of your burning cheeks. a smile grows on his face when you weakly glare up at him, but it quickly turns wicked in the span of a second.
“now...you were so eager to start studying earlier, weren't you?”
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he unfortunately wasn't joking about beating the damn subject onto your brain. you could feel a mild headache from all the times he hit your head with a roll of paper.
but nonetheless, you know the hard work and pain paid off when you finally got a question right during ectoplasm's class.
bless bakugou, you'd kiss him right now if you could—
“so,” the boy in question starts as you discreetly hand him a plushie of you in your hero costume, he seems to brighten up at that, taking it nearly immediately, but attempts to appear unbothered as he moves his gaze back to yours.
“are we gonna talk about that body pillow last night or—”
“katsuki—no.”
“pfft,” he snorts, “suit yourself, fangirl.”
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imagine your surprise when yaoyorozu snitches and tells you that bakugou practically threated her to make more plushies of you after he received the initial one
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the-winter-spider · 3 months ago
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What I Have | B. Barnes
Word Count: 2.5k
Warning: Probably the fluffiest piece ive written lol
A/N: I was listening to What I Have by Kelsea Ballerini and well here we are lol
—-
The year was 2024, over one hundred years since you were born—105, to be exact. Your life hadn’t turned out at all like you had dreamed or hoped it would.
You were supposed to marry the boy next door once the war was done. You’d picked out your wedding dress while window shopping with your best friend, even before he proposed. You made a scrapbook, meticulously curating hairstyles and makeup looks, debating over the choices as if they were the most pressing decisions in the world.
You sketched out your dream house, selecting the colors, the flowers for the front garden, and the vegetables you would surely grow in the back. You even chose the font for your new last name on the mailbox.
You had each of your children’s names picked out—three, to be exact. Two boys and one girl, you had hoped. Everything was a dream, but it seemed so close, so possible, as if it should have been a reality. You should be dead by now, having lived a full life, with your children who should have been walking the earth with their children, your grandchildren.
But everything went wrong. Literally, everything possible went wrong.
Bucky fell off a train and died. He actually fell off a train, and they declared him dead. In reality, he had lost his arm, survived the fall because Hydra had already experimented on him. They brainwashed him, like something out of a twisted fairy tale, turning him into a deadly assassin. Your beautiful, blue-eyed Bucky, your sweet Bucky, became a killer. A Bucky you would never see again, because even though he was still here, and you were so thankful for that, he would never be your Bucky again.
And then there was Steve. Of course, Steve found him, because of course! And let’s not forget that your best friend, Steve, who was once smaller than you, was injected with a serum that not only tripled his size but turned him into a superhero because, yes, apparently those needed to exist. Of course, he went off to war, driven by a need for revenge for his best friend, your fiancĂ© Bucky. And of course, he had to be noble, going down for the cause, leading everyone to believe he was dead. But of course, he wasn’t. They found him, frozen but alive, because he was Captain America, and that’s just what happens.
And then there was you, consumed by grief, first losing the love of your life and then your best friend. You begged, on your knees, begged Howard Stark to use you as his test subject for cryogenic testing. You couldn’t bear to be here without your boys. He hesitated because he loved Steve, and he knew Steve wouldn’t want this for you. But when you threatened that if he didn’t, you would take your own life, he relented. So, of course, it worked because it was Howard, and he was a Stark. But decades passed, and the year he was supposed to wake you up, The Winter Soldier murdered him. So, as usual, you stayed frozen, but alive, until Howard’s son, Tony, found you in his father’s hidden lab.
You woke up to a world that was not your own, a century too late for the life you were supposed to live. The world had moved on, but you hadn’t. Your friends were legends now, mythologized beyond recognition. And you, well, you were the ghost of what could have been.
The years that followed were a blur of new faces, new battles, and new griefs. You tried to adapt, to find a place in this future that had no room for you. But every corner of this brave new world reminded you of the past, of the life that slipped through your fingers.
And then one day, while sifting through old boxes in Tony’s lab, you found something. It was an old, faded book, as soon as you saw the brown cover you heart dropped you knew what it was, it waa your scrapbook. The cover had an old faded photo of you, Bucky, and Steve, taken on a sunny day before the world went mad. You barely recognized the girl in the photo, with her bright smile and unbroken heart. But there she was, a relic of a time that now felt like a dream.
You realised then that maybe you didn’t belong in this world. Maybe you never did. But as long as you were here, you could try—try to make sense of the pieces left behind, to find some small measure of peace in the chaos.
And that’s exactly what you did. Even though you didn’t have the life you had once dreamed of, you still had them. And in what world does all that trauma happen, and you still end up alive with your boys?
You picked up the dusty book, holding it close to your heart, as you navigated through the compound, following the sound of laughter coming from the living room. You paused just outside the doorway, soaking in the warmth of his laugh—a sound you feared you might never hear again after Bucky began recovering from his trauma. But here it was, filling the room, and even though it wasn’t the same Bucky you knew decades ago, his laugh was unchanged, and it made your heart swell.
Rounding the corner, you saw Steve clutching his chest in joy, playfully shoving Sam, who was grinning widely.
Bucky’s eyes immediately found yours; he could always find you in any room. “Hi, doll,” he said, getting up to kiss your cheek and taking your hand to lead you to the couch.
“Hi, Buck. Hi, Stevie, Sammy,” you greeted them, settling in beside Bucky.
Sam rolled his eyes at the nickname. “You’re lucky I like you.”
Bucky glanced down at the book in your arms. “What’s that?”
Steve’s smile faded into something more serious as he noticed the book, instantly recognizing it. “Is that what I think it is?”
You nodded, feeling tears well up in your eyes. “Stark
 he kept it. I haven’t opened it yet. I thought
 I thought we could do it together.”
“What is it?” Sam asked, his curiosity piqued.
“It’s my life,” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “There are a few pages of what I thought it would turn out to be
 but after everything happened
” You paused, taking a steadying breath. The memories of losing Bucky and Steve were still fresh, no matter how much time had passed. “I never planned or dreamed of anything else. It just felt silly without you boys. So, I just filled it with photographs.”
“Photographs of who?” Sam asked, leaning forward.
“Everyone,” you replied softly, glancing between Bucky and Steve. “Peggy and Mrs. Rogers,” you said, meeting Steve’s gaze. You saw the emotion in his eyes at the mention of his mother. “Becca and Winnie, Mr. Barnes,” you continued, feeling Bucky tense slightly at the mention of his mother and sister, their faces now distant memories. “I even have Howard and the Commandos.” You smiled a little. “But mostly, it’s us—all of us.”
Bucky reached out, gently taking the book from your hands. His fingers brushed the worn cover, the room fell silent as the weight of the past settled around you all.
“Let’s open it together,” Steve suggested, his voice thick with emotion. He moved closer, his presence a steady anchor as you all gathered around the book. Sam stayed distant, letting the three of you have your moment but still staying there.
Bucky opened the cover, and the first page revealed a photograph of you, Bucky, and Steve, taken in a simpler time. The three of you looked so young, so hopeful. You felt Bucky’s hand tighten around yours as he stared at the image, memories rushing back. It was a photo from your 16th birthday, the day he had gifted you the book.
“I gave this to you,” Bucky said quietly, the realization settling over him.
You nodded. “For my birthday. You wrote
” You trailed off, pointing to the top left corner of the front of the book.
He read the words aloud, his voice filled with emotion. “Happy 16th birthday to my best girl. I hope you fill these pages with your hopes and dreams. I can only hope that somewhere in amongst them, I’ll be a part of it. With all the love, Bucky.”
Sam smiled, leaning back in his seat. “Who knew you were such a romantic, Buck?”
You watched as Bucky’s cheeks flushed a light shade of red at the comment, and you gave his knee a gentle squeeze, feeling the warmth of the old affection between you.
“For y/n, he was crazy,” Steve chimed in, grinning. “You should have seen him—head over heels is an understatement. Try obses—”
Before Steve could finish, Bucky reached behind you and gave him a playful shove. “Can it, Rogers,” he muttered, trying to hide his embarrassment.
Steve just laughed, catching himself before he toppled over. “You know it’s true.”
You chuckled, resting your head against Bucky’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”
Bucky’s hand found yours again, his thumb tracing circles on your skin. “Neither would I.”
As you all shared a quiet moment, the weight of the years seemed to lift, replaced by the warmth of old memories and the comfort of the present. Bucky turned the page, revealing more photographs—snapshots of moments that had once seemed so ordinary but now felt like treasures.
The pages turned slowly, revealing a life that could have been—a wedding dress sketched out, a house with a picket fence, names of children that never came to be. And then, the photographs—snapshots of moments frozen in time. Peggy’s bright smile, Mrs. Rogers’ kind eyes, the mischievous grins of Becca and Winnie, Howard’s confident stance, the Commandos’ camaraderie. But the most frequent faces were your own, Bucky’s, and Steve’s, from a time when the world was both simpler and infinitely more complex.
Each image told a story. There was one of you and Steve dancing at a neighbourhood block party, both of you laughing so hard you could barely stand. Another showed Bucky in his military uniform, giving you a wink as he prepared to head off to basic training. Then there were pictures of Steve and Bucky goofing around, each trying to outdo the other in some silly stunt, and you caught in the middle, rolling your eyes but smiling all the same.
There were pictures of Bucky and you around the campfire on the night before everything changed—before he fell off the train. Bucky paused on that photo, his eyes lingering on it. “That was the night before
” he said softly.
You nodded, squeezing his hand, understanding the weight of those words.
“Night before what?” Sam asked, his voice gentle.
“Before I fell,” Bucky replied, those three words carrying a lifetime of pain and loss. The room grew still, the significance of that moment hanging heavy in the air. Sam didn’t say anything more, sensing the depth of emotion in Bucky’s words.
Bucky’s gaze remained fixed on the photo, his voice quiet as he continued. “It was the last time I felt so much joy
 I feel it now, but it was different then.”
Steve nodded in agreement, his expression solemn. “I get it, Buck.”
“Me too,” you added, your voice trembling slightly. “I keep thinking about what was supposed to be, what should have been.” You paused, wiping a tear from your eye. “I don’t understand why it all happened the way it did—why I didn’t get the life I thought I was going to.”
“Sweetheart,” Bucky whispered, his hand gently reaching out to wipe away your tears, his touch as tender as it had always been.
The room fell into a reverent silence, each of you lost in your own thoughts, the weight of your shared history settling over you like a heavy blanket. Finally, Sam spoke, his voice soft and full of understanding. “You’ve lived a hell of a life.”
You nodded, taking a deep breath as you wiped away a stray tear. “It wasn’t what I planned,” you admitted, your voice thick with emotion. “But I wouldn’t trade it. Not if it meant losing this—losing you
 both of you.”
Bucky’s hand tightened around yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “We didn’t get the life we dreamed of, but we got each other. And that’s enough.”
Steve leaned back, his eyes bright with unshed tears. “We’ve been through so much, but we’re still here. Together.”
Sam smiled, the warmth in his expression offering a quiet reassurance. “That’s what matters in the end. Not what you lost, but what you’ve kept.”
“Till the end of the line,” Steve spoke, the words heavy with emotion and depth.
“Till the end of the line,” Bucky echoed, pulling you closer to his side.
You glanced around the room at the faces of the people who had become your family—the ones who had stood by you through the darkest of times.
As the pages of the scrapbook turned, the photographs shifted from black-and-white to colour, reflecting the passage of time. The images grew fewer as the years became harder, but each one was more precious because of it.
Finally, you reached the last page, where an empty space awaited a new photograph. You looked up at Bucky and Steve, both of them gazing at the book with a mix of nostalgia and gratitude.
“You should take a new photo,” Sam suggested, his voice soft but certain. “One to mark this moment.”
Bucky nodded, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that melted away the years. “Yeah, we should.”
Steve grinned. “I’ll get the camera.”
As Steve stood to retrieve a camera, you leaned into Bucky, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your hand. This was the life you had, and it was more than enough. The empty space in the book was no longer a reminder of what was lost, but a promise of what was yet to come—a new chapter, filled with love, laughter, and the people who mattered most.
Sam took the camera from Steve, ready to take the picture. But just as he was about to snap the shot, you paused. “Wait!”
“What? You don’t have food in your teeth, but your hair
” Sam teased with a smirk.
“Well, I was going to say I want you in the picture too, but
” You trailed off
“No, no! I’m sorry, you’re beautiful
 perfect—”
“Sam, watch it, that’s my girl,” Bucky warned, a protective edge to his voice.
Sam rolled his eyes, chuckling. “The whole world knows that, Buck.” He placed the camera on the tripod and took a seat beside Steve. “You sure you want me in this?”
“Of course, Sammy! You’re one of us now,” you insisted, smiling warmly at him.
Sam’s expression softened, and he nodded, touched by your words. As the camera clicked, capturing the four of you together, you knew that this was the memory that would fill that final page—the proof that even after everything, you still had your boys, old and new, and they still had you.
The book might never hold the life you once dreamed of, but it would hold the life you had lived—the one you had fought for, the one you had loved.
And that was more than enough.
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formulawolff · 6 months ago
Text
x. bringing the heat in miami - t.w.
pairing: female driver! x toto wolff
word count: 3.6k
warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation, lewd humor, age gap relationship, ANGST, naughty text messages, banter, light flirting, toto being down astronomically bad (like actually in the trenches) yadayadayada
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party in the city where the heat is on 
all night, on the beach till the break of dawn
“welcome to miami”
“bienvenidos a miami"
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will smith’s infamous track fills your ears as you stroll in through the main gate of the track, fans clustered in thick waves. your name is called more times than you can count. posters, caps, shirts, you name it, wave about, begging to be signed. 
the sun shines overhead, casting bright, fiery light all around. although it was only around eight in the morning, humidity clung to the air, creating a sticky, dewy sensation on your exposed skin. fluffy clouds drift along, carried by a breeze as it rolls through. 
god, the weather was perfect.
hopefully it would be like this on race day.
“welcome to miamiiii,” alex bobs his head, singing along to the music, “are you excited? it is your home turf, after all.”
“if we were in phoenix, i think i would feel a little closer to home,” you suppress a giggle, “but yes, i am really fucking excited. everyone loves a race in their home country.”
“we’ll be in austin soon enough in october,,” alex shrugs, “when we’re in austin, i need you to show me how to ride a bull and teach me how to perfect that smooth texas drawl. i want to be like one of those little aunties who always say, ‘y’all come back now!’ like dolly parton! ” 
“you’re ridiculous,” the giggles blossom into a full-on laugh, “you don’t just start speaking with a southern accent. that’s not how that works.”
“sure it is,” alex nods, “hey, your parents are coming out for the race, right?”
“yes sir! they will finally get to see their baby girl in action!”
“they didn’t come out for a single grand prix last year?” alex raises a brow.
“i wasn’t winning races last year,” you counter, “i told them not to worry about spending that money during my rookie year. not everyone’s parents are loaded, you know.”
which, was a true statement. 
your parents had invested their time, hard-earned cash, weekends off, and a portion of their lives to get you here. you didn’t expect them to fly out for every single grand prix, make every event, or pay another dime towards your expenses. 
unlike many of the drivers, you were not born into an extremely lavish lifestyle. your parents were modest people, who happened to have a child later in life. ever since you were born, they lived in the same house, drove the same vehicles, and got by adequately. since they both worked full-time, getting you into the racing world was no simple feat. 
yet, they were determined to make your dreams become a reality. after years of careful coordination to the karting tracks, weekends devoted to races, and thousands upon thousands of dollars spent, you were offered a contract with williams racing. of course, you accepted that offer graciously. 
now, you were steadily paying your parents back for their dedication. once you signed your contract and those zeroes hit your bank account, you went out to the nearest dealership, purchasing a suburu wrx. with the premium package, at that. 
you would never forget your dad’s face the moment you pulled into the driveway, beaming as you placed the keys in his hand. 
that was one of the only moments you had ever watched him cry, wrapping you up in a tight, loving embrace.
“you didn’t have to do this. being your father is a gift in itself.”
“but you deserve it. you’ve sacrificed so much so that i could be in this position.”
“and you deserve nothing but the best, baby girl. you are going to be one of the greatest drivers formula one has ever seen. you make us so proud. keep making us proud. keep defying those odds. keep making history, baby girl.”
keep making history, baby girl.
as you stroll into the paddock, greeting the engineers, pit crew, and other team members, you can’t shake that feeling brewing deep within. 
it’s is a fiery desire, setting you ablaze with determination. 
you were going to keep making history. 
you were going to be the first american to win the miami grand prix. 
you were going to be the first woman to win two consecutive grand prixes. 
you were going to be the first woman to earn that title of world champion. 
you were going to chase that high. by any means possible. 
and nothing was going to stop you now. 
˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖
“look at him,” lewis hamilton shakes his head, “he looks absolutely pitiful.”
“you think his little relationship is on the rocks?” 
“quite the contrary mate,” lewis remarks, folding his arms across his chest, “i think it’s more like the poor man is depraved. obviously the euphoria has worn off. he’s come down from that high. the man is craving more. plain and simple. a hand can only do–”
“i don’t need the mental image of my team principal wanking off,” george russell scoffs, rubbing his temple, “fuck, that is disgusting, lewis.”
toto wolff stood a few meters away from the drivers, engaged in deep conversation with bono and members of the crew. now that lewis knew the truth, he couldn’t help but notice how much power that american girl held over the team principal. it was almost as if he were deep in a trance, under some sort of spell. 
it was pitiful, really. just the sight of her was enough to send the team principal spiraling, intoxicated off her alluring aura. not like lewis could blame toto, though. there was no denying that the woman was extremely breathtaking. 
with her stunning features, witty mouth, unapologetic personality, and angelic presence, she was practically miss america.
well, not practically. 
she was miss america.  
everyone adored her. lewis could barely go throughout his morning without hearing her name being mentioned. whether it was fans, journalists, social media, even members of the mercedes crew, she was the hot topic of formula one, taking the world by storm.
toto was a lucky man. an extremely lucky man. 
if only she was into men her age. 
“my apologies mate,” lewis nudges george with his elbow playfully, “did we have anything going on today? any obligations?”
george’s brow furrow, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, “if we’re being honest, i can’t really remember. i think something to do with monster energy, maybe.”
“perfect,” lewis licks his lower lip, fishing his phone out of his pocket. 
time to text that little assistant. 
in all seriousness, he felt horrible for taking advantage of that young girl. she was only nineteen for fuck’s sakes, a fresh face to mercedes at the start of the 2024 season. that made her the perfect target to do his bidding. 
well, it wasn’t really bidding. 
more like investigative journalism. 
at least, that’s what lewis told himself to feel a little less guilty for what he was about to do. 
hey, do you by chance know toto’s schedule today?
seconds later, little text bubbles appear. 
he was meeting with you guys this morning, then he has an interview with the press around two-thirty p.m. it’s nothing super serious, just a brief session entailing his thoughts for the weekend. at four, he has a zoom call with a few of the mercedes execs. after that, he told me he was going to be out for the remainder of the evening. why? 
hmmm. how convenient. 
i was just curious. thanks for letting me know! i appreciate you, natila. 
of course, mr. hamilton! let me know if you need anything else! :))) 
it was now or never. go time.
after the meeting with the mercedes executives, lewis hamilton was going to knock on toto wolff’s door. he was going to stroll into that office, settling into one of those plush leather chairs. and before toto had the opportunity to speak, lewis was going to confront him about that american girl. 
how he was going to start that conversation, he had no idea. that would come to him in time as he went about his day, meeting with sponsors, flashing that lovely lewis smile, flirting with the reporters just a little. not too much so that it was obvious, but enough to make them blush a tad, giggling as they scrambled to stick to their script. 
but for now, it was time to focus on the matters at hand. 
across the track, a dutch driver strolls through the crowds, a jersey in one hand, phone in the other. glancing down at his screen, he curses under his breath at the throng of people. why were there so many people? where did they all come from? 
pausing for a moment, he taps his screen, thumb gliding through his contacts. 
“hey, where are you again?”
“we’re in the williams paddock!” her voice is an octave higher than usual, more than likely from anticipation, “we’ll see you soon!”
“sounds good,” max verstappen stifles a chuckle as he hears a voice on the other end, the words firm, demanding almost.  
“honey, who are you talking to? who’s coming over here?” 
“mom, please, just let me be on the phone for two seconds,” she exhales, “okay, i have to go. i’ll see you soon!” 
the walk to the williams paddock was excruciating, as max had to bob and weave through the masses to avoid reporters, potential sponsors, and any individual who called his name. it’s not like he didn’t like the fame that came with his success, it’s just that he didn’t like the constant cameras in his face. the prying questions. the intrusive comments. 
sometimes he wished he could just blend in, be like any other face in the crowd. yet, how could he when he was max verstappen? 
yet, as he steps into the paddock, he makes out the williams driver, her parents hovering around her as she introduces them to various members of the crew. at the sight, max can’t help but feel the corners of his lips curl into a smile as he notices the sheer and utter pride plastered across their faces. 
and they had every right to be proud of you. 
you earned it. 
“goedemorgen,” max clears his throat, raising his hand for a small wave, “i just came to stop by.”
the instant your mom realizes who is standing before her in the paddock, her eyes widen, lips parting, “oh my gosh – honey. look who it is!” 
“good morning max,” your laughter rings like bells as you cross over to the dutch driver, “how are you?”
“pretty good,” he nods, sticking out his right hand, “hallo, i’m max.”
your dad shakes his hand, squeezing it firmly, “nice to meet ya, max. i’m tony. this is my wife, heather.”
“pleased to meet you,” max beams, turning to your mom, “i brought something for you today. your daughter mentioned that you were a big fan of mine. so, i brought this jersey for you. she let me know your shirt size, so it should fit perfectly. my signature is on there somewhere, but i just can’t quite remember where.”
graciously, heather accepts the jersey, her eyes glossy, shifting to you as she wipes a tear, “oh, honey, you planned this?”
“of course i did,” wrapping an arm around her shoulders, you pull her in for a hug, “i couldn’t bear the thought of you guys attending the race without meeting any of my friends. besides, you deserve an all-inclusive experience at your first grand prix.”
“besides,” max shoots you a wink, “i wanted to meet the woman who crafted such a talented driver.”
at max’s compliment, your mom’s face flushes, “oh please! i can barely make it on the freeway without having a nervous breakdown. i don’t know how she can drive these things. it amazes me how confident she is and–.”
“i could show you,” max offers, “i have some free time tomorrow. i’m sure we could all meet up somewhere and i could take you for a spin, show you the ropes. how does that sound?”
“oh max,” your mom waves a hand, “you do not–”
“but i want to. it’s no issue. no issue at all.” 
“then it’s a plan,” you can’t help but grin as your moms’ eyes light up, “what time works for you, max? since it’s only thursday, we’ll have some time in the morning before the practice laps. or, we could go after. whatever works for you.”
“let’s go in the morning,” max suggests, checking his phone, “i think i can make a few calls. have someone bring in a car. we’ll take it out on the track.”
“is that allowed?” your mom arches a brow, “i just don’t want you two to get in any sort of trouble. 
“oh mom,” you roll your eyes playfully, gesturing to max, “that is max verstappen. whatever max verstappen wants, max verstappen gets.”
“she’s not wrong.”
“okay fine,” your mom nods, and you feel a giggle forming at her overprotective nature. 
“just don’t give me a heart attack out there, max. i have a very important race to watch on sunday.”
as your parents talk to max, alex making his way into the conversation, you feel the buzz of your phone in your pocket. carefully, you fish it out, ensuring to shield your screen from your mom’s wandering gaze. 
this is unbearable. i need to see you tonight. are you going to have any free time? i vaguely recall you mentioning that your parents were going to be here. i will take no offense if you would like to spend time with them. i know you do not get to see them often. 
i need to be inside you, schatzi. i can’t think straight right now because the only thing i can think about is fucking that perfect pussy of yours. 
i miss my golden girl. more than anything. 
˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖
“lewis? this is a pleasant surprise.”
“how’s it going mate?” lewis hamilton bears a quaint smile as he settles into a chair, face-to-face with the team principal, “things going well?”
“eh,” toto shrugs, his head bowed as he types away on his phone, “same old shit, you know.” 
“things going well with the horseback rider?”
oh, so he wasn’t going to drop it. silently, toto curses the attentive nature of his british driver, “they’re fine.”
“so,” lewis leans back, folding his arms across his chest, “when were you going to fess up and admit that your little girlfriend doesn’t ride horses?”
“i don’t understand what you–”
lewis scoffs, clicking his tongue, “i know exactly who your little girlfriend is because she’s a few spaces ahead of me on the grid.”
shit.
the expression painting lewis’ features is brimmed with satisfaction, his gaze piercing right through the team principal as he shifts uneasily in his desk chair, running a hand through his hair. 
toto was well aware that lewis had completely blindsided him, pinning him in a corner. it was quite literally perfect timing, as the team principal was merely minutes away from organizing his things, shutting down his computer, and heading out the door, well on his way to his golden girl. 
well played, lewis. well played. 
yet, he had to maintain his composure. he had to maintain that poker face as lewis cocks his head, prompting him to formulate some sort of witty retort. 
“i’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
“bullshit,” lewis shakes his head, “you’re not a very good liar, toto. you of all people should know that i can read you like a bloody book. how long has this been going on?”
well, he had to fess up now. lewis would continue to call him out on his shit if he kept up with the lies. letting out a shaky breath, the team principal hangs his head in defeat, his heart thumping against his rib-cage, wiping his damp palms on his slacks.
no going back now. time to come clean. 
“since she won in jeddah. but if we’re being technical, it started in bahrain.”
“wait,” lewis sticks his hands up, squeezing his eyes shut, “pause. this has been going on since the start of the season? for weeks you’ve been sneaking around, meeting up with her in secret or something? was she the one who came to brackley between melbourne and suzuka?”
with all of the questions pouring from lewis’ mouth, toto’s mind reeled, a swirling torrent of anxiety, fear, and disappointment. his cheeks burn with shame, tinged pink. 
“yes, she was.”
tilting his head, lewis’ lips purse, “you like her?”
“well isn’t that blatantly fucking obvious,” propping his elbows on the desk, he massages his temples with his fingers, “how did you find out?”
“it wasn’t hard,” lewis shrugs, “i mean, i see the way you look at her.” 
toto’s eyes narrow at lewis’ vague response, “how. did. you. find. out?”
“natila texted me about it,” lewis coughs, averting the team principal’s beady stare, “she may have heard a conversation or two.” 
“regarding?” toto presses, satisfaction pumping in his veins as lewis starts to crack, shifting in the chair, “come on, lewis. you can’t just march in here and demand answers from me without sharing your sources. what did natila hear?”
“she heard the entire conversation you had with the drive to survive crew while we were in suzuka. they mentioned that they had footage of you walking over to her motorhome. that’s all natila heard. don’t fire the poor girl,” the words were rushed, breathy, “it was my fault. i asked her what she heard. i told her i would pay her if she told me what she knew.”
“well,” toto blinks, swallowing thickly, “did you end up paying her?”
“only like five thousand.”
“that’s quite a large sum over something you could have just asked me about personally,” clasping his hands together, toto raises a brow, “why didn’t you just come to me instead?”
“because you got so fucking defensive the first time i asked about it!” 
lewis did have a point. 
a good point, at that.
it was not like the team principal would have withheld information regarding his developing relationship with the williams driver. it was more like he feared what would ensue if he did share what had transpired. he trusted lewis, he really did. additionally, it wasn’t like this was just some average woman. his career, her future, and so much more were at stake. the benefits of keeping it all under wraps greatly outweighed the risk of discovery. 
more importantly, he was protective of his golden girl. 
she was his little escape from it all. a breath of fresh air after excruciatingly long nights in the paddock or disappointing days on the track. she was his sun, shining her vivid, warm, golden rays into his dreary and dull life. 
sure, toto was a billionaire. but money was not everything. 
nearly every day, toto’s mind wandered to their time spent together in brackley. the way she felt against his skin. the way her shy smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. the way her fingers felt intertwined with his. the way her lashes fluttered as she slept, lips parted ever so slightly. the way his hands roamed her curves, relishing the softness of her. 
that memory alone was worth far more than the number of zeroes in his bank account. 
“you’re falling in love, aren’t you?”
lewis’ voice is low, dangerously quiet. yet, there’s a curious glint in his eyes, the bitterness and anger no longer present. his body language is more relaxed, legs crossed, the driver fiddling with his thumbs. 
“i –” toto stutters, scrambling to find the right words, “yes, i am.”
“does she know?” 
“no,” he inhales sharply, “she doesn’t.”
“you want to tell her though, don’t you?”
“it would just feel rushed,” the team principal dismisses lewis’ inquiry, his voice hardening, “i have to be realistic here. no one falls in love that quickly. that’s just petulant.”
“well look at it this way,” lewis offers, “if you’ve had your eye on her for some time, then it’s really not that rushed. clearly, if you’re feeling those emotions so deeply, then it’s accumulated over time. i don’t want to pry, but how long have you been attracted to her?”
“you don’t want to know,” a chuckle rumbles in the team principal’s chest, “it’s embarrassing, really.”
“no, no, no,” lewis tuts, “tell me, toto. how long?”
“december 2022, when she signed her contract with williams. when i saw that photo of her, i knew i had to have her. last summer, in monaco, i may have slipped up and approached her at the afterparty. i flirted with her, but she dismissed me. so, i kept my distance. however, it was just growing harder and harder to stay away. it was impulsive, that night in bahrain. but i wanted to make a move before anyone else got to her.”
as toto finishes, he can’t help but notice lewis’ smirk, “holy shit, toto. you’ve been wrapped around her finger for quite some time then, yeah?”
“i wouldn’t say that–” toto begins, clicking his tongue, yet, he’s swiftly cut off as a new figure cracks open the door. 
george russell leans against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. his lips are pressed together, forming a tightly wound frown. 
“way to include me in the gossip session, guys. what did i miss? clearly, quite a lot. if you don’t mind, i would like to join the conversation. toto, would you start from the top? even though i’ve already heard most of it, when were you going to bring it to my attention that you were fucking that bloody williams driver?”
˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖✩₊˚.⋆☟⋆âș₊✧˖âș‧₊˚♡˚₊‧âș˖
taglist: @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010  @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @swifth0lic
as always, if i forgot to include you, please let me know! thank you all for the continuous support! i love y'all sm!! <33
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dorabellingham · 21 days ago
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Honeymoon
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warning: smut; +18
characters: jude x fem!reader
summary: when you have your first time only after marriage
request: yes
may contain spelling and translation errors!
After a charming ceremony and a reception surrounded by friends and family, Jude and you finally embark on your honeymoon in Hawaii. The trip was long, but full of laughter and anticipation, each moment together feels like a new promise of the future that awaits you.
When you arrive on the island, you are greeted by a clear sky, palm trees dancing in the wind, and the soft smell of the ocean all around you. The hotel where you will be staying is a private retreat, with a stunning view of the sea and the relaxing sound of the waves breaking on the beach.
—Jude, this is so beautiful.
You murmured in ecstasy as you gazed at the crystal clear sea.
—It’s up to you, babe!
He spoke in a joking tone, but you could feel the hint of seriousness in his words. The boy was focused on getting the access card to the room’s door, but at times, you could feel his gaze burning into your flesh.
As you enter the room, decorated with exotic flowers and soft lights, you feel your heart race. The reality of being officially married, alone and at the beginning of a new phase brought out a mixture of excitement and nervousness. You were a virgin and Jude knew it very well. By a choice you made as a teenager, you had decided to wait until the day a golden ring slipped on your left ring finger. You just didn't expect that day to come so quickly. Jude noticed this and, with a welcoming smile, took your hand. He gently pulled you to the terrace, where a cool breeze enveloped you. The day was warm, the sun shining mercilessly over the hawaiian territory. You remained silent for a while, just enjoying each other's company, the sea in the background and the tranquility that surrounded you.
—Are you okay, babe? —He asked, his voice low and soft. With a shy smile, you nodded, but he noticed the slight tremor in your hands. He laughed, but not in a teasing way, it was a warm laugh, of someone who understands what you feel and wants to comfort you. —Hey, it's just us here. You don't need to be afraid or in a hurry for anything.
He whispered, pulling you into a hug, where you felt the comfort of his touch, the warmth and support.
—I want to be yours. —You began, your voice trembling and low. —I want you to make me yours, Jude. To make me see our love with different eyes, to make me feel a touch, a shiver, a different desire for everything we have. I want our love to not be as pure as they say, I want it to be made of everything we have the right to, and today, I feel ready for you to make me yours. To touch me, feel me, explore me in every way you want.
His eyes widened in surprise, it wasn't like it was a surprise to know that they would have their first time there, but your words, the way your hand brushed his forearm, messed with his head much more than he could have expected. He wanted you, he dreamed about it whenever he could or whenever his thoughts allowed him to, but having you there, telling him that his deepest desires could come true, he felt like the luckiest man in the world. Not only for giving yourself to him, but for the trust he had.
—I can make you mine, Y/n. Just like I want to become yours, body and soul.
—Then do it, darling.
The connection between you was palpable, and little by little, you felt your nervousness diminish, replaced by a feeling of peace and security. Jude kissed you softly, a slow, unhurried kiss, as if each second had its own meaning.
When they returned to the room, he still maintained that care. Every gesture Bellingham made was attentive, and he made sure to make you feel at ease, respecting your pace and making sure you felt safe and loved. He laid you down on the bed, skillfully unbuttoning your satin shirt. You watched his hands working, and wondered if you would get to know the famous paradise that night.
—Can I take it off, sweetheart?
He asked sweetly, trailing kisses from your mouth, down your neck to the collar of your shirt, which made a shiver run down your skin.
You just whispered something that resembled a 'yes', but it was a little incoherent. The warmth of his hands, the wet kisses covering your skin and the small hickeys he left on your already bare skin. Jude took off your blouse, followed by your bra, which practically gave up holding onto the clasps as soon as he touched you. There you were, exposed from the waist up, with Bellingham staring at you as if you were the most beautiful monument in the entire world.
—Jude Victor, stop staring me like that! —You laughed as you spoke, you weren't as nervous as you expected, just embarrassed to show yourself like that. —I'm going to get shy like this, be more discreet. I'm going to get shy like this, be more discreet.
—I want you to call me Jude Victor later, when the words barely form in your mouth, when you're completely mine, huh?
He said as his right hand vaguely played with the tip of your breast, he stared at it with great desire, as if he had been waiting for this his whole life. And when a small moan came out of your mouth it was as if the whole world exploded before his eyes. That moment had really arrived.
Your hands tried to take the shirt off his body, but you were so immersed in the sensation his mouth was giving you that it felt like an impossible mission. Jude quickly unbuttoned the denim shorts he was wearing with his free hand, and there you were sure that the moment would come true, that it would be his.
—Honey, let’s get on with it...
You asked eagerly, the feeling of pressure between your legs was new and torturous. You wanted your husband there in the middle, you wanted him to solve the problem.
—But is it already like this, Y/n? —He laughed as he slid your panties down your leg. —I want you to enjoy everything, I want you to relax and not be afraid of this, but you want to rush everything... Do you want me that much?
—I do, Jude... I want you so much.
He looked you up and down, arranged your legs on either side of his body and settled himself, his broad shoulders preventing any attempt to close your legs when he was doing what he wanted. You felt exposed, but in a good way, with the man you loved, and who loved you back, making you feel cared for and even with all his size, Bellingham seemed the most careful person at that moment, almost vulnerable.
—Let me know if at any time you don't like something or if I hurt you. I don't want that to happen, so I'll be very careful. —He placed a chaste kiss on your intimacy, which drew a surprised moan from you. —I want to make this night unforgettable, babe.
His fingers soon entered the wet area and you could hear the sound of things happening, you didn't know what to feel, there were no words for that moment, it was just you and Jude. Just a husband and a wife giving yourselves completely to each other.
A slow "fuck" came out of your mouth and Jude felt that you were enjoying it as soon as your hands sought his hair, he smiled and leaned over you, putting his mouth on the most sensitive area, at that moment, you felt his warm tongue exploring everything, and there, you knew you had discovered paradise.
Everything in him worked in tune, his fingers going in and out of you as if he knew exactly the right moment, his tongue and the little giggles he gave as you moaned for him, with his name or just begging for more contact.
Heat began to rise through your body, a strange tingling appeared at the bottom of your belly and your vision slightly blurred, you felt Jude, you felt him too much at that moment. Gathering the strength to speak, you announced what he wanted to hear most at that moment.
—I'm going to......I'm going to cum, Jude....
Your back arched on the soft bed at that very moment and you felt the man pull away from between your legs, his face slightly damp and a naughty smile on his face.
—You're delicious, sweetheart.
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d4yl1ghts · 8 months ago
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hope for the future
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colin bridgerton x grumpy, wife, fem!reader
summary: you share your fears about not being able to conceive with your husband, colin
warnings: infertility, mentions of pregnancy
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You were stood in the corner of a ball, hoping to avoid everyone’s eye contact as you didn’t want to talk to anyone. You weren’t usually talkative anyway but today you were having an especially awful day. You sighed to yourself as you quietly sipped on your champagne.
You and your husband’s dream was to have multiple children yet after a year and a half, you were still yet to conceive. Recently you had felt more timid than usual, your inability to get pregnant taking a toll on you. Almost like you had jinxed it, Colin came walking over cheerfully. “How are you, dear?”, he questioned gently. “Fine.”, you said whilst shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly. He looked at you with concern written over his soft features. “Are you sure?”, he asked. “I’m sure.”, you answered as tears welled up in your eyes. You could never hold yourself together for long.
He carefully took your hand and lead you outside away from any prying eyes. “What’s wrong, my dear?”, he whispered in a cautious tone. You rolled your eyes at your incapability of keeping yourself together as tears cascaded down your face. He looked deeply into your eyes as he used his thumb to wipe away your tears as you sniffled.
“My dream is to have children
 and so is yours!”, you hastily added, shaking your head. “We have been married for one year and six months and I am still yet to conceive a child, Colin. What are we doing wrong?”, you huffed frustratedly as you rubbed your eyes once Colin had removed his thumbs from your cheeks. “My dear, my main priority is you. As long as I have you I will be happy.”, he said with certainty. You gazed at his pristine blue eyes, seeing the genuine look they held.
“Yes, I will be happy with you Colin but there are some days when my life does feel a tad bit incomplete.”
“Especially when it seems that everyone around us are having children, like Daphne and many others.”, you stated. You could never express your emotions well and this was hard for you. More water slid down your flushed cheeks. You always regretted crying in front of people but you could not control it, once the tears had appeared there was no way to stop them.
“Darling, why didn’t you just tell me that you were feeling as such?”, he questioned. “Colin, you know how I am in these situations.”
“You do realise that it could be my fault and not yours, right?”, Colin whispered.
He cleared his throat before offering you his arm: “Shall we head off then?”, he looked down at you. “Yes, of course, my dear.”, you replied.
When you entered the carriage after Colin graciously guiding you up the steps, you turned your head to look at Colin as you noticed him staring. “What are you looking at?”, you asked teasingly. Colin snapped back to reality. He mumbled under his breath. After seconds, Colin tackled you and kissed you passionately. Roughly nine months later and you had the first of your many children.
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ash-says · 8 months ago
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Things to be aware of as a Hopeless Romantic:
We all have been there daydreaming about the perfect man, the perfect life, the perfect whatever,etc. Still life is not full of roses and thorns are inevitable.
So here are some aspects to look out for according to me so that you won't fall in the delulu is the only solulu trap.
Remember if you follow me, we don't do regrets here. We accept, take accountability and move on. We don't soak ourselves in problems. We solve them effectively.
1) Drop those rose-colored glasses. Crush them under your feet and now look at the world again. Learn to accept reality. It is what it is. Not what you make it out to be. Learn to become an observer of your life from time to time. It will give you the real picture.
2) Potential is useless if you are not leveraging it. It's a trap both for yourself and others. You see potential in him of changing and being a good guy?? Girl, he *IS* not a good guy. It's not your job to raise a man. It's embarrassing. Stop babysitting grown men.
3) Standards are important but ensure they are not rooted in fantasy. Let's be honest finding a man who is rich, dark, tall, sexy and talks in the way you read in your romance novels is difficult. I am not saying it's impossible but don't be too rigid. All I will say is make sure you are also on the level where if you come across such a man he should be ready to date you.
4) Men view sex differently than us women. I know many of you will get triggered after reading this but the majority of men really view women as sex dolls. Blame the porn industry maybe. Good men exist but not every other man who talks sweetly is good.
5) A person in your life treats you nicely. Always talk sweetly, tells you that you matter to them but their actions don't match it. Chances are you are being breadcrumbed. Plans being cancelled? Messages being unseen? But when confronted all you get is,"Sorry love, I was busy. I was going to do it. You matter a lot,etc etc." Breadcrumbing. Be smart it can happen even in friendships too. I understand people get busier with time and things do happen. Use your discernment to see who really is busy and who is faking to be busy.
6) That uncle was so kind to me. He talked to me sweetly and always tried to help me out. Now, that's really sweet of him. Next he calls you home to help out with the household chores and he is alone at home because his wife is out of town for some work. Would you go and help? Yes. Will you go alone? No. That's unsafe.
No matter how much a gentleman a man appears to be you are not allowed to be in a situation where he could potentially take advantage of you. You always bring along a friend or deny it. I know it's wrong to not help someone but at your own risk. No. Never. It's common knowledge in our society.
7) Dreaming of a Prince Charming to whisk you away from all your troubles??? Dream on. The idea that a soulmate or one person will magically solve all our issues is dumb. We as human beings add to each other's happiness rather than becoming the core of it.
8) One of the biggest mistakes I have seen girls around me make is of being fully invested in a relationship to the point one small fight makes them depressed. That's codependency. It's unhealthy.
9) Never make your relationship your identity. You should always have a separate identity out of it. Stop curating yourself for your partners. Morphing yourself according to their likes and dislikes. That's one way ticket to an identity crisis after breakup. Compromises are essential but changing your core self??? Crazy shit.
10) Your relationship should not be the reason for your downfall. It happens especially with my intense girlies we invest so much of ourselves in the relationship to the point it becomes our focal point and when it faces upheavals we are devastated. The mental distress starts flowing in other areas of your life and suddenly your grades are falling, your career seems unstable, etc. Develop the emotional strength to compartmentalize your emotions and not allow them to overflow in other areas and affect them.
Imagination is fertile but being delusional is being stuck in a swamp.
That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.
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animeficsworld · 10 months ago
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I Thought I Knew You
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Warumono x Reader
Summary: You get kidnapped and soon you realize your kidnapper is someone you already know.
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The day you were kidnapped you were told they were going to bring you to their boss.
But currently, he was off.
Apparently, even the big boss of an army had days off... who could have thought?
One of the mignons told you that you were being kept to study humans so they could easily destroy humanity.
You were a gift for their leader basically.
How rude these mignons were.
Even if they fed you well during the weekend, even if they kept you company and even brought you a TV, you wanted to go home and cuddle with your boyfriend.
He must be worried by now.
You met your boyfriend months ago at the ZOO. He seemed to be obsessed with the pandas and you started a conversation. 
And now, you were here, locked in a cage, watching TV while eating snacks.
It could be worse.
But then, Monday came around. The big scary boss was back.
And they brought you to him almost as soon as he came back.
As you were brought in with chains around you, you looked at the scary boss.
You decided to show no fear in the hope he would let you go.
"Sir! We've abducted a human to study them so we can easily destroy them!" one of the mignons said but you and the boss were both frozen as you looked at one another.
It was a silent two minutes before you spoke up.
"EH?!" was all you could manage.
You two were left alone, with you now sitting in a chair in front of his table.
You looked at him as he avoided eye contact.
"So, you were dating me so you could destroy humanity."
Damn. You went straight at it. No sugar coating.
"Not at all. You caught my attention and before I knew... I..." you knew he hardly ever talked about his feelings. 
But now you were very conflicted. 
"I love you." he said and your eyes snapped up at him. You could imagine how difficult it was for him to admit his feelings, let alone in a situation like this. "I'm sorry." was the next thing he said.
You almost didn't want to believe that he just said those things. But you could tell it was all true.
He was genuinely sorry.
"I will need some time to think." you ended up saying and soon, you were hope.
You wanted to sleep, you wanted this all to be just a bad dream, but sadly, it wasn't.
It was real, and you had to deal with this somehow.
One week passed, and you felt like you were put in turmoil.
Every time you thought you came up with a solution, you were right back at the drawing board, back at square one.
Because in all reality, your boyfriend was a villain who swore to destroy humans.
And yet, you loved him.
You loved him and his curly hair, you loved him and his panda obsession, you loved him and his overdramatization.
You loved him.
And he confessed his love to you.
Which would have baffled you, to begin with.
He sure showed his affections but he never spoke of them.
One Saturday, you finally decided to go over to his place and talk.
So, on your way you went.
You found him at home and soon, you sat on one and of his sofa while he sat on the other, avoiding your eyes.
"I have decided to leave humanity." you suddenly looked at him as he was watching the floor. "I have realized how I broke your heart, it was never my intention to meet you, never my intention to fall in love and to hurt you as a result. It just... happened. I'm sorry."
"I don't want you to leave." you replied rather quickly. "I understand you never meant for all of this to happen but it did. You cannot just come into my life, make me fall in love with you and then leave! How is that fair?"
"I thought... you came to break up with me?"
"No, I wanted us to talk about this. But I didn't want to leave you. I was hoping, you would... take me with you when you have your plan..."
"You would... join me?"
"Yes."
You made your decision, was it a bad one? Possibly. But you didn't care, you saw him with his hair pulled back, everyone scared of him, a true villain, and you lost right then and there.
"Would you truly?" he asked and you nodded and smiled.
For the first time ever, you saw his smile.
You saw him smile and you knew you would never be able to let go of him. Whether he is a villain or not.
You soon moved over to him and allowed him to hug you.
"My Queen." he whispered into your ear as you let out a long sigh of relief.
You made the best decision. 
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awkness · 4 months ago
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Serial killer! Platonic! Yandere Older Brother & Genderneutral Teenage Reader (Part 2)
(Part 1) (Part 3)
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As reader tries to adjust to their new life without their father, a number of concerning incidents occur, including off-putting behavior from your brother, prevents that from happening. But despite everything, you make a new friend. Surely, this can only mean good things for you, right? Things must be looking up!
Content warnings: implied murder, manipulation, domestic abuse, briefly mentioned alcoholism and child abuse, and general yandere shenanigans. If I missed anything here, please let me know :3
Authors note: lmao I have no excuse for being this late I'm just slow. This was originally supposed to be the last chapter but it got too long so I had to split it up. It feels like a bit of filler but I promise we'll get to the good stuff soon it just needs some set up. Part 3 should be the last part so I'll try not to be too slow uploading (<- lying)
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There were very few things about your father you liked, but his house was one of them. It was something he had inherited from his father, who Ben would inherit as soon your father could be pronounced legally dead. It came with a master bedroom, two normal bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, a kitchen, the basement, and an attic.
The attic was something you had always been fascinated with as a child. It was spacious, fully insulated and even had an openable window. It could have been a bedroom all on its own. As a child, you had often daydreamed of moving your stuff up there, utilizing the bigger space for blanket forts and storing all the toys your little heart could desire. In reality, it was used in the same way the basement was, except it stored much more valuable items. Holiday decorations, clothes, old valuables that had no room to be displayed, and whatever family heirlooms your late father kept were shoved up above your head, taking space that could have been used for you. You had thought you had grown out of this fantasy, content with the room you had, but with your father gone and your brother running the house, the childhood dream had crept its way back into the front of your mind, tempting you with visions of a bigger, cooler room.
So, after working up the courage, you finally asked Ben if you could move up there. It surprised you just how easily he said yes.
And now you're here, Ben helping you sort through trash and treasure alike as you both clear out the room.
You pulled an unlabeled box from the seemingly endless pile, the top covered in dust and cobwebs. You try not to think about how many spiders are in the room with you now. Cleaning them out will be a trouble for another day.
The box opens easily, cardboard weak from age, a musty smell emanating from within. You look inside, only to be left dumbfounded. Why were there women's clothes in here?
"Hey, Ben, do you know whose clothes these are?"
Ben looks up from his own box, a vaguely confused look on his face. As he makes his way towards your box, you watch it drop into a frown.
"Those are moms."
"Oh." Is all you can say.
An awkward moment passes between you two as Ben stares into the box, face strange as he becomes lost in thought. You decide to break the tension.
"Why do you think he kept them?"
He looks away from the box and towards you, his body slowly beginning to relax.
"He was always a sentimental man, I guess that's reason enough for him."
You let out a snort. "What's there to be sentimental over? She cheated on him, divorced him, and then dumped us on him. She's not exactly a woman worth pining over."
"I'm not arguing with you, but you remember how he was. Couldn't ever let anything go."
He began rummaging through it, quickly getting to the bottom before closing it back up.
"Nothing but clothes. We should probably donate this."
You give a nod as you watch him put it in the growing donation pile. That was going to be such a pain to bring down to the car.
Instead of thinking about that, though, you turn your head to the box that Ben was searching through before you called him over.
"Is this one mom's too?"
Before you get an answer, you take a peek inside, only to once again be at a loss for how something like this could be in your home.
Inside was an assortment of strange objects. A broken polaroid camera, a stained photo album, and an array of metal objects like locks, deadbolts, and... were those shackles?
Before you could make out any more objects, Ben had made his way to you and reached over to close the flaps of the box.
"I doubt it, probably just more junk he couldn't throw away."
He turned around to you and smiled, hands holding the flaps shut.
"Want to do me a favor and go start bringing the donation boxes to the car?"
"Ugh, why do I have to bring them down?"
"Because you're the one who wanted to move up here."
You glared at him as his smile turned into an amused smirk, before you finally gave a huff and picked up a box from the pile.
"Jerk."
"Brat." The smile never left his face.
With only moderate trouble, you navigated your way down the stairs and out the door, making your way to the car. Unfortunately, you had only realized you forgot the keys when you tried to open the door to pop the trunk open.
You quietly mumble curses under your breath as you set the box next to the car, ready to make the trip back inside. Instead, you go completely still as you catch a look at the people across the street.
It was a small group of high schoolers your age, maybe older, who go to your school. They were standing the the yard across the street, a few houses down, talking together to throwing glances in your direction. Your ears strain as they try to make out their incoherent babble. They couldn't have known about your situation, could they? Or at least, what the official story was. It had been over a month since that happened, it doesn't make sense that they would be talking about it now. But you were just moving boxes out of the house such a short time after it happened. That looks suspicious, doesn't it? Of course it does. Why did you have to ask to move into the attic now?
You had been standing like a deer in headlights, openly staring for what felt like minutes before one of them seemingly made eye contact with you. You avert your gaze down as you feel your cheeks grow hot and your hands grow sweaty. A chorus of laughter erupts from the group.
Without thinking, you rush up to the door, fling it open, and slam directly into Ben as he was carrying. You hear it hit the floor as you speed walk past him.
"Wha- Hey! (Y/N)! What happened?"
You didn't reply. You barely even heard his words. Panic had fully taken over and kept you moving away from Ben, away from the door, away from the outside world, and all the judgemental people it contained.
You finally make it to your room, shutting the door behind you, and seating yourself on your bed, trying to get your bearings. 
Tears begin stinging your eyes as your shaky hands try and wipe them away. You wonder if they were still laughing at you.
A soft knock comes from your door, and your body shrinks inward, unprepared for the upcoming talk.
"Kid? Can I come in?"
You don't reply. You know Ben is going to come in anyway.
He waits a beat before opening the door, his face the picture of concern. His footsteps are quiet, and his movements gentle as he sits next to you. You find your body leaning away from him.
"Want to tell me what happened?"
You shrug, turning your head away from him. Even if you did want to talk, you couldn't trust your voice right now.
"Alright, that's fine, we can figure it out together. Was it something to do with mom's clothes?"
You don't move. Maybe if you don't answer, he'll leave and let you deal with your embarrassment in peace.
"The attic?"
A pause.
"Something in the box you were carrying...? Or maybe something outside?"
You stiffen, and immediately try to make yourself relax. Maybe he didn't notice?
"Does this have something to do with the neighbors?"
Oh. Nevermind.
Despite your best efforts, your body language must have given you away again. You hear the bed creak as he gets up, the blinds rustling a moment later as he gives a huff.
"It's those kids across the street, isn't it?" His voice takes on an edge of irritation, and you feel yourself curl inwards again.
The bed shifts as he takes his seat next to you again, a comforting hand placed on your shoulder. His voice takes on the softer quality it had before.
"I can't help you if you don't help me, kid. Did they talk to you?"
You shake your head, trying to talk, but finding the words stuck in your throat.
"They-" Your voice falters and you clear your throat, barely able to speak above a whisper.
"They didn't have to. I could see them looking at me and laughing, I knew they were talking about me, just like all the neighbors do whenever they see us. It's like they know. And these-"
You sniff, snot beginning to run and throat burning as you talk. Ben squeezes your shoulder, and you continue.
"These people go to my school, Ben. They know me. When I have to go back, they'll talk and tell everyone and the whole school will know what happened. They'll treat me different, they'll ask questions, and I won't know what to tell them-"
Your quivering voice finally gives out, and you cover your face. Ragged, irregular breaths come out as you try to force back the wave of emotions you've just unleashed. Gently, Ben pulls you to his chest as he rubs your back, murmuring gentle reassurances you couldn't quite hear.
Moments pass until your breathing finally evens out, eyes dry but still red and puffy. You slowly pull back and he lets you, his face full of worry. His hand still remains on your shoulder, an ever-present weight.
"You've had this on your mind for a long time, haven't you?"
You give a feeble nod. The thought of having to return to school had been weighing on you, but you hadn't realized how bad it had been until now. The thought is almost enough to send you spiraling again.
"I don't want to go back."
Ben gives you a smile. "You don't have to."
Your mind freezes for an instant, any and all thought muddled into incohereency.
"What?"
"Why don't I sign you up for online school this year? I remember you talking about wanting to do it a couple of months back, so why not now?"
"I..."
Your brows furrow. You did tell Ben that you wanted to do online school a couple of months ago before summer started. But this wasn't a new wish. You had been dreaming of being homeschooled since you had dreamed of living in the attic. Troubles in finding friends and fitting in had always followed you throughout the years until you realized the futility of it all, and only dreamt of a home where you didn't have to leave, and Ben and you could spend your days in peace. But the reality of your father's abuse had made school a begrudgingly safe haven of yours and you had slowly given up on that dream, too. But now that it was fully within your hands, you found yourself hesitating. Why? There was no monster in your home anymore, you were safe, and there's no reason to say no.
"I don't know."
He smiled.
"It wouldn't have to be permanent, just for this year. And if you don't like it, I can reenroll you back into your old school, so your options are always open. Plus, you're right, (Y/N). I know how cruel kids can be, especially when they're confronted with situations and people they don't understand. I don't want you to face that if you don't have to."
You gnaw on your lip, unsure of what to say. Ben was right on all accounts, the things he was saying made sense, and yet you couldn't find yourself saying yes. Why couldn't you let yourself have this?
"Can I think on it?"
Ironically, it came out of your mouth before you could think at all.
He nodded, his good-humored smile still on his face. You let out a small breath, so glad to still see it there.
"Of course, kid, it's a big decision. Take your time."
He gave your shoulder one last pat before getting up.
"I'm going to move the rest of the boxes in the car and go drop them off. You want me to pick up dinner on the way back?"
"Yeah, I'm fine with whatever."
"Alright. Rest up, I'll be back soon."
Unable to say much else, you nod as he gives you one last smile before he heads out the door, closing it behind him.
You rub your eyes, your body slowly unwinding from the tension just moments prior, until it gives in and you lay down on your bed.
With nothing else left to do, you crawl under your covers, the familiar comfort of the soft and worn fabric soothing your nerves. Distantly, you hear the sound of Ben's footsteps as he makes his way back and forth from the attic, the familiar and comforting sound lulling you into a dreamless sleep.
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The next morning was pretty uneventful. Ben was off at work while you continued clearing the attic, sorting out the junk and keepsakes, only occasionally getting scared by the stray spiders that had made their home in the crevices between the boxes.
By noon, everything was sorted, with the only thing left being to take the boxes to be donated or tossed in the trash. But you needed Ben to help you with that, so you found yourself heading down to the kitchen, heating instant noodles in the microbe, wondering what you were going to do until he got home.
Around this time is when you usually went to go check the mail, but since yesterday, the thought of having to leave the house left you with an uneasy feeling, tension building in your spine and shoulders the longer you thought of it. A part of you was ashamed that you couldn't even walk out to the mailbox without it being a big deal, and another, much larger part, found immense relief in the thought of abandoning the task altogether, and not having any more chance encounters like yesterday. The more you considered it, the more you found your body sagging in relief. Yeah, Ben can grab it when he gets home, you're sure he wouldn't mind. It's no big deal.
The microwave beeps and you grab the noodles, all thought of the outside quickly leaving your head.
You had just dumped the flavor packet in when you heard a knock at the door.
Your heart, ashamed you were to admit, skipped a beat, and you froze mid-action, breath catching roughly in your throat. Who could that be? Maybe that was Ben, and he had just forgot his keys? No, that's stupid, he wouldn't be home this early, and he never forgets his keys. With no other answers coming to mind, you quietly set the packet down and got up to the door to peek through the peephole.
On the other side of the door stood one of your neighbors, a kid your age. You see him the most often out of all of your neighbors, often doing yard work and tending to the flowers in his front yard. He was also the guy you caught staring at you the most. Well, maybe staring wasn't completely accurate, but whenever you looked his way, you two would usually make eye contact before one of you shyly looked away. You didn't know why, and it played havoc on your nerves. He wore a hoodie despite the summer heat and had an envelope in his hand. He looked nervous.
You pull away and bring your hand to undo the locks before stopping.
For one glorious, tempting moment, you picture yourself turning around, going back to your noodles, and taking them upstairs and away from the door to eat in peace until Ben comes home.
Instead, you undo the locks and open the door.
Your neighbor looks slightly taken aback like he didn't expect anyone to answer. You try not to notice.
"Hello?" You ask.
"Oh, uh, hi! I'm Alex, your neighbor. I live right next to you, the house to the right, well- uh, my right, your left. The one with the red car and lawn gnomes out front?"
He gestures sheepishly towards his house, face nearing the complexion of a tomato.
"Nice to meet you, Alex. I'm (Y/N)."
The social protocols of politeness take over, unable to fully pay attention as your mind stalls, still in a state of shock from the anxiety of the situation.
"(Y/N)? That's a nice name." He smiles at you before quickly looking at the ground.
He hands the envelope over to you, speaking as you look over it.
"Uh, I just wanted to drop this off. I think our mail got mixed up."
Sure enough, the envelope had your brother's name and address on it.
"Oh, thank you." You say lamely.
For a beat, you wonder if you should say something more. It felt wrong to just leave the conversation as it was and close the door, but what else were you supposed to say? Before you can think about it, he speaks again.
"I, uh, wanted to say that I heard about what happened to your dad, and I'm sorry."
Again, your heartbeat skips, and you stiffen, body alert, eyes wide. You probably look like a deer caught in headlights in front of him if he wasn't still looking at the ground. The thought would embarrass you if it weren't for the sharp spike of adrenaline hitting your veins.
"I... I had a dad like him too."
And just like that, your body pauses its panic response, and you find yourself fully focused on him as he continues.
"I thought it would be easier after me and my mom moved away, and it has been, but those kinds of experiences don't just go away, and I wanted to say that you aren't alone."
You still felt a little wired from the previous scares, you you felt a strange sense of ease slowly pass through you at his words.
You stare at him, as he stares down, no words passing between you two before you finally speak.
"Thank you."
You only hesitate for a moment before continuing.
"It has been rough, but it's been more of a relief than anything. It's nice not having to hide away in my room until he leaves."
He looks up, a small smile gracing his face as he finally relaxes.
"Yeah, it's nice not having to check to see if he passed out in the house again."
You find your lips quirking up. "Or having to check his pulse when he is passed out."
"Not having to worry about him throwing a fit whenever he runs out of beer despite him being the one who drank it all."
"Not having to constantly hide food in your room so you have a supply when he does throw his tantrums"
Alex gave a disbelieving laugh.
"Yours let you get food out of the kitchen? There was a lock on the fridge and pantry when I lived with mine."
Your smile widened into one of disbelief, amusement, and shock. "What the hell? Why?"
"Kept getting upset that the food would go missing. Worst part is, every time he got blackout drunk, he'd binge eat, pass out and get mad at us for eating all the food."
You couldn't help it. You started giggling, and he started giggling, unable to react in any other way to the absurdity of it all.
"Sorry! I really shouldn't laugh-" You began, failing to stifle the laughter.
"Don't be!" He said. "He's a stupid guy, you should laugh at him."
You both share the moment, the laughter slowly dying down as you both take your first good look at each other. In this moment, you see something you can't help but talk about.
"Is that a minecraft necklace?"
He looks surprised, but pleasantly so. He glances down before holding it up with a grin. The pendant was the shape of a creeper head.
"Yeah, I'm a big fan!"
He puts it back down and his demeanor changes back to being sheepish, but not painfully so like he was before.
"I have minecraft for Xbox and a spare controller at my house. If you want, you can come over and play?"
It was your turn to be nervous again.
On one hand, you wanted to say 'absolutely'. You couldn't remember the last time you got invited to hang out, and the thought of something as normal as playing a video game with a friend was something you needed. Well, maybe you couldn't call him a friend yet, but you feel like you could, given enough time. Plus, after being so afraid of your neighbors and leaving your house, having someone come up to you and act so warm and friendly made you feel soft. It was hard to say no to that.
On the other hand, you had the nagging, unnameable feeling that Ben would be, upset, but you couldn't think up any concrete reason as to why. In fact, if you focused on that feeling too long, your mind went blank.
Sure, you were going about out of the house without him knowing, but Ben has always been supportive of you. Sure, he's never really discussed rules about going over to a friend's house because the situations never come up, but he's fairly easygoing. You were sure that if you explained why you went, he would be understanding. Happy, even.
Plus, you were only going next door, you had your phone on you, and you would be back before Ben came home, so it's not like he had to even know what happened. Not that you wanted to lie to him, but something about that option comforted you more than any of the other things you listed.
Discomfort pushed aside, you gave a smile back to Alex.
"Sure thing, let me grab my phone."
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It could have been the perfect hangout. Alex's mom was nice, bringing you two snacks and telling stories from Alex's childhood despite his embarrassment, as you two hung out in the living room while he helped you figure out the controls. Soon enough, you two were building a base together, laughing at each other as a creeper or sneaky skeleton would get kills on you both.
You were halfway through making the third story of the base when your phone started ringing. You felt your heart drop to your stomach when you saw Ben's picture on the screen.
"Shit."
You immediately pocketed in and got up.
"What's wrong?" He paused the game and looked up.
"I wasn't supposed to stay so late, my brother's probably home by now."
You went over to the window and peeked through the blinds, and as fate would have it, you saw his car in the driveway.
You hear Alex speak from the couch, voice slightly concerned.
"You're not going to get in trouble, are you?"
That was the question, wasn't it?
"I... don't think so. Maybe? I've never been out late before."
"If you want, I can come with you and explain what happened. I'll take the blame."
Despite your growing worry, you felt a pang of gratitude come through. You gave a small smile.
"That's okay, he'll probably be a little mad, but I don't think it's that serious."
You headed to the door, Alex following behind.
"Hey, on the chance you don't get grounded or whatever, here's my phone number."
You look back and see him scribbling on a piece of paper before he hands it over to you. You take it and look at sloppy, but thankfully still legible writing, and give a bigger, more genuine smile.
"I'll text you later. If I still have my phone, that is." You joke, or at least try to.
He gives a smile and a wave as you turn back and exit the front door.
As it closes behind you, the warmth of the interaction slowly leaches from you and leaves you feeling cold and rattled.
You didn't fully believe the things you said to Alex. You had no real idea what Ben would like because you had never gone against what he said before. The thought alone turned your stomach into knots. It was simply how you two functioned, Ben was the one in charge and made the big decisions, and you listened. Sure, he never had any explicit rules about this, but that didn't mean anything.
As you made the short walk to your home, you began strategizing.
You should do damage control right away, start apologizing straight away, and let him know where you were and what you were doing. Wait, should you mention Alex? At that thought, you shoved the paper with his number deep in your pocket. You didn't want Ben to see it.
Before you could think about it anymore, you were at your front door. Your back tensed, and you hesitated only a moment before opening the door. Waiting would only make it worse.
Before you can fully step in, you see Ben pacing the kitchen, brows furrowed, face strained. As soon as he heard you, his head whipped up, and you felt yourself freeze like a rabbit spotted by a wolf. Frozen, unable to do anything else than stare.
"(Y/N)?"
Just like that, you were broken out of your trance, finally allowed to move again.
You step in all the way and close the door behind you.
"I'm sorry! I didn't think I'd be out that long, I wasn't keeping track of time, I-"
Your voice died the moment you looked back to Ben's face, his features looked so... angry. You've never seen him look at you like that before, never seen him look like that at all. It set off a loud, blaring warning in your brain that something was wrong, and that you needed to leave. But that was crazy. This is Ben, your brother, you were fine.
You tried to start again.
"I was..."
It tapered off as you saw him move towards you, movement swift and robotic as he kept his attention on you. Without thinking, you shrunk back.
"Ben-"
Before you could finish he's in front of you, grabbing your shoulders so tightly it's borderline painful. You grip his arms, weakly trying to push away, knowing better than to seriously try.
"Where were you?"
There was such a dangerous edge to his voice that you couldn't think, couldn't look away. Your breaths came out shallow and your voice so tiny you could barely hear it.
"With the neighbors."
That only made him angrier.
"What neighbors? We don't talk to the neighbors here."
Oh, you were shaking now.
"With- with the neighbors right next to us, the Rogers. I was hanging out with Alex-"
"Who the Hell is Alex?"
His grip got tighter as he shook you, and you could feel the bruises forming. You started pushing at him again, but your arms trembled so badly you might as well not have tried.
"B-Ben, it hurts."
Your voice was so thick with emotion that it was hardly coherent, but Ben understood.
His face blanked for a moment, body shocked to stillness as you continued to try and leave. Then, without warning, he let you go, turned his back and walked a few paces away from you, pinching his nose as he let out a sharp breath.
You listen to him as he takes deep breaths while you rub your sore arms, snot beginning to run as your eyes turn wet. As you step away, you feel your back pressed against the door, and you have the fleeting idea to open it and run away. You realize what you're thinking, and the idea terrifies you so deeply you stay rooted to the spot.
Finally, Ben turns back, face still hardened but not as severely as before.
"Who's Alex?"
You sniff. You really didn't want to do this anymore.
"He's the neighbor's kid. Our mail got mixed up and he brought it over to me, and invited me over to hang out."
You probably should have stopped there, but some scared, hurt part of you needed Ben to understand that you didn't mean this, it wasn't your fault. Your voice cracked as you continued.
"I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. It was only supposed for a little bit, I didn't think I would be over for so long, just an hour or two. I- I didn't mean for this to happen, I should- I should of called you."
You stopped, but only because the shaking in your hands had spread to your voice, and you didn't think you could keep going without sounding like a complete mess.
His face didn't soften for a moment, staring blankly as you had gone on. After it ended, he closed his eyes, rubbed his face and gave a sharp sigh.
You couldn't read him when he looked away. Was he calming down? Did that make him more upset? Every second that ticked by frayed your already worn-out nerves. You were only one yell away from bursting into tears.
He looked up again, face the same as it was before.
"Do you know what it's like to come home with the door unlocked and see you missing, with no goddamn clue where you could be? What was I supposed to think? You didn't even pick up your damn phone!"
He stopped, took a breath, and then continued, a dangerously calm edge to his voice.
"And then you tell me you decided to stay over at a stranger's house without calling me? A person you only met today? They could of been anybody, anything could happened to you. I thought you had better sense than that."
It stung.
"I'm sorry."
It sounded small and pathetic, even to your own ears.
He let out a sigh.
"Go to your room. We'll talk about this more later."
You don't think twice. You rush away on shaky legs to your room and quietly close the door behind you, afraid of doing anything else to set him off. The bed lets out a soft creak as you sit down. You gather your quivering hands in your lap and look down on them, not sure what to do with yourself.
Before you can think about it any further, you hear the front door open and slam shut, then the car turning on and driving away.
As it quiets down, you can't help it. Stifled sobs climb their way out of your chest, feeling like they're choking you until you can't resist anymore. You collapse on your bed, openly crying until you exhaust yourself to sleep.
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The next morning felt almost surreal. You woke up to hearing Ben walking about the house as he did his morning routine. Usually, you would be out of the room right now doing the same, with you both then sitting down to eat breakfast together until it was time for him to leave. This time, you stayed in bed the entire time, idly scrolling your phone as you listened to his footsteps.
A part of you expected him to knock at your door, and ask you why you weren't out yet. Instead, you heard the sizzle of eggs hitting a hot pan as they cooked, and after a short few moments, the front door opening, closing, and locking behind him. The familiar sounds of the car's engine slowly faded away, and you finally got out of your bed, ready to start your day.
You decided to text Alex. You were hesitant to give the details of what happened, simply saying that Ben was upset and things were tense, and thankfully, Alex never pushed it. Instead, he started sending you memes and talking about his ideas for the minecraft world you both started. It was surprising how easy it was to talk to him, the conversation going for hours before he had to leave to help with dinner.
When it was time for Ben to come home, you scurried back to your room, feeling relieved but guilty when you closed the door. On one hand, you could still feel the fear you had last night, and you had no idea what to do with it. It was perplexing and off-putting, and thinking too hard on it made you feel like your brain was turning to static, so you opted to not think about it at all, which meant avoiding your brother as well.
But the guilt wouldn't let you be. It turned what should have been the comfort of your room into a place of wrongness, that you were doing something awful by keeping yourself here and not going down to see him like you usually did. Your lip began to bleed, and only then you realized you had been chewing on it since you heard Ben's car pull in.
You contemplated texting Alex for a distraction as you heard him make his way into the house. And then, step by step, make his way way to the hallway, and then to your door.
And then, the knock.
"Can I come in?"
You don't know if you want to answer, so you don't.
"I know you're awake, kid. Your lights on."
Thoughts raced through your mind as you tried to figure out what to do. For a moment, your mind latched onto the idea that you could pretend to be asleep, but you immediately shrugged it off. This was going to happen anyway, might as well happen now.
"Come in."
The door opens, and you see Ben, completely exhausted, his gaze nervously flitting towards you and the floor as he carried a fast food bag in his hand.
"I brought dinner."
You instinctively perk up at the mention of food, and he takes that as a sign to step closer and sit on the far side of the bed, bag between you two, as he clasped his hands together. His leg starts to quickly bounce before he stops it.
"Figured I'd pick up something on the way home. Didn't feel like cooking.
You nod, even though there's something in you that compels you to do or say more to try and ease his nerves. Even now, after what he did, you hate to see him upset. You try to push the urge to comfort down as you pointedly look away.
Both of you sit in silence while looking anywhere but at each other. In your peripheral, you can see him fidgeting with his hands.
"I know I scared you last night, I just-"
He nervously shifts in his seat. His voice is halting but sincere.
"It worried me, seeing you gone. You mean so much to me, (Y/N). Ever since you were born, I've been there to take care of you. I can't remember a time without you, and I don't want to. You're a part of me, without you, I... I don't even know who I am."
You look over at him and freeze. You're big brother, the man who protected you and cared for you your whole life, is bunched in on himself, face strained and twitching with barely contained emotion as he doggedly stares directly ahead, like looking at you would hurt him. His eyes are red and dark circles frame them. You swallow, years of experience screaming at you to reach over and comfort him, but instead, you sit, never once looking away as he continues talking.
"I shouldn't have done that to you, kid. I should of known better. Should of contained myself. I try so hard for you, but there's times it feels like it isn't enough, and it keeps me up at night."
He sniffs, and your eyes begin to blur.
"I never wanted to be like that in front of you, you didn't deserve to see that. I-"
He wipes his hands over his face, taking a deep breath as he tries to collect himself. After a beat, he uncovers his face and finally looks at you.
"I'm sorry."
It was like a spell had been broken. You found yourself pushing a food to the side and leaning against his shoulder. He hesitantly wrapped his arm around you, and when you didn't resist, he reached his other arm around you, pulled you into his chest, and began softly rocking you back and forth.
You feel the rise and fall of his chest, and it feels the same as you did as a kid when you would run up to him when something scared you, or when you felt your emotions overwhelm you. He would hold you tight and it felt like you were in the safest place in the world. The relief of that feeling after everything you had been through was like coming home.
Still safely tucked in his arms, you spoke again, voice more quiet and child-like than you meant it to be.
"Promise me you won't do that again."
The mere thought of him acting so uncontrollably and violently towards you was enough to make you nauseous.
He squeezed you tight.
"I promise, kid, never again."
You nodded, unable to reply. The both of you stayed like that for what felt like an eternity before he slowly began letting you go.
After getting fully untangled, you rub your eyes, a feeling of exhaustion settling in as your stomach rumbles.
"I'm hungry."
"Hi hungry, I'm Ben."
His reply is so quick, you think it's automatic for him.
You shoot him a glare, but it's undermined by your smile. He returns it with one of his own.
"You wanna go down and eat? I got you a milkshake too, it's down in the kitchen. But might be a bit melted by now."
You spring up, fast food bag in hand as you make your way towards the door.
"Why didn't you say so, let's go!"
You hear him let out a chuckle, and you let out one reflectively, too.
You both share the meal together, talking and laughing late into the evening, until it was finally time to sleep. You drifted off easily into a deep, restful sleep, finally at peace.
177 notes · View notes
baldursgate3tempobsessed · 1 year ago
Note
Please let Astarion meet Tav's family and have a younger sibling like 6 be like im gonna marry the prince points at Astarion.
Tav : Sorry, im married to the prince
NO IM GONNA MARRY THE PRINCE
That's so fucking cute kill me. But I just realized AFTER I finished it I read this wrong 😭😭 I read it as "marry" instead of "married" so whoops now it's an asking for your hand in marriage fic.
Also, I'm going to make this a weird little, unofficial, alternate reality, off shoot of this fic to explain away why Astarion can be in the sun without ascending because I am ~lazy~
Quick summary if you didn't read it, Tav serves Selune, gets a blessing for all the good work, and uses it to cure the anti-light issue of the vampirism (but not all of it). It's not a literal extension of that fic but I'm stealing my own plot explanations. That's it! Now here we go:
~
Astarion wasn't nervous per se. He was just... on edge. And the two-week journey it took to get here wasn't helping things, not when it gave him so much time to ruminate in his thoughts. He never expected to be in the position of "meeting the family," let alone in anticipation for asking for someone's hand in marriage.
Astarion wasn't even quite sure how his life got here. He had always fantasized that a life without Cazador would be one of selfish hedonism, not one where he would be legitimately concerned about a damn six year old sibling's first impression of him.
But then you came along, effortlessly shattering all of his grandiose plans with a batt of your eyelashes. Perhaps the entire journey of falling in love was more complicated, but it felt like it was that simple. In hindsight, he never stood a chance against you, but it was hilarious that there was a time he ever thought he did.
All of his prior dreams and fantasies felt like nothing in comparison to just being with you. It had been a year since you both saved the Sword Coast, a beautiful, fantastic year. That had ended with him somehow more in love with you now than when he first confessed. Selune's blessing had certainly helped with that he was sure. He still couldn't quite believe that you would use a god's blessing on him of all people, but gods, was he appreciative. Because being able to walk in the sun again meant that he could live the life he wanted, with no restrictions. He could be the partner you deserved, the kind that a father would happily say yes to when asking for your hand.
Which brought him back to his current dilemma. Perhaps he hadn't seen any of your family members in the time you'd been together, but he had heard plenty. You loved them all to death, especially your little sister. You wrote to them constantly, the mere sight of a letter from your parents enough to put you in a great mood for the rest of the day. He was aware that your mother was supposedly a saint, a fact that your own father had instilled in you often. He knew that they had a wonderful, loving marriage and were both higher ups in the Church of Selune. A fact that Astarion didn't particularly enjoy.
As grateful to the moon goddess as he was, he was aware that you were an expectation to the very normal belief that vampires were bad. And that marrying one was one of the stupidest things you could ever do from an average person's perspective, let alone a Selunite.
Why you hadn't done the smart thing and lied about what he was, Astarion would never know. But he did know that the thought of their rejection over his admittedly sordid history was putting him in a tailspin.
"They're going to love you," You said for the hundredth time, giving his hand a squeeze as you led him up the steps to your childhood home, "You have nothing to worry about sweetheart. I promise."
Astarion highly doubted that, but you were already knocking on the front door before he had a chance to argue. The door instantly slammed open, a beaming child already launching themselves at you before Astarion could process what was happening.
But you were more prepared them he was. You effortlessly caught them in your arms, laughing at their excited shouting, "Titi! You're late!"
So this was the famous Arabeth.
"No, I'm not!" You laughed as you settled her on your hip, "And what happened to my little girl's manners huh? You haven't even introduced yourself yet."
The child glanced over at him, like she was just realizing for the first time that someone else was standing over there. She looked a little shocked at the sight of him, staring at him with wide eyes. Wide enough for Astarion to start to wonder if something was on his face.
He gave her a little wave only for her to bury her face into your shoulder, peeking out at him with her lips pursed. Which was not the best start to the whole making his darling's family actually like him plan.
"Well, as you've probably guessed this is Arabeth. She's just a little shy," You reassured as you stepped inside, muttering a quick invitation inside under your breath. He appreciated that, he didn't need the whole house to be reminded of his... limitations.
"But she'll get over it soon enough," You continued as you called into the house, "Mom? Dad? We're here!"
And just like that they were rushing into the room, acting just as excited as your sister had been. Your mother wasted no time in smothering your face with kisses while your father swept you up into a hug. It was a rather impressive display of coordination, considering how they hadn't managed to knock you and your sister to the floor in the process. Astarion was pretty sure they were both saying something along the lines of We missed you! But it was hard to tell with all of you so tangled up in each other.
It was heartwarming to see, in all honestly. Of course such a loving person would come from an equally loving family, what else would he expect?
Though he certainly hadn't been expecting for your mother to throw her arms around him next. She brought him into a tight hug before looking him up and down, "So you're Astarion huh?"
She turned back to you, grinning ear to ear with her hands set on Astarion's shoulders, "He's so handsome! Selune help us, do you remember the last boy you brought home? He had a nose the length of my arm-"
"And that's enough of that," You said with a strained laugh, pulling your eccentric mother back a few inches, "And we've talked about the impromptu hugs. What happened to asking for permission?"
"Sorry, sorry!" She said with a wave of her hand, "Let me try again. I'm Seliras, and this is my husband-"
"Marcoul," Your father interrupted, putting his hand out for Astarion to shake, "It's been awhile since we've met a boyfriend."
"He's a little more than that," You said with a sigh as everyone exchanged pleasantries.
"We'll be the judge of that," Marcoul said with a sharp but friendly grin, the grip he had on Astarion's hand briefly tightening before he let go, "From what we've heard, you're quite the character aren't you?"
Ah, so the interrogating was starting early then. It was nothing that Astarion hadn't expected. Besides, turning up the charm was his strong suit, even when he was uncharacteristically nervous.
Astarion smiled back at him, "You've heard right. And I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have."
"Oh gods please don't say that," You groaned, but it was too late. Your parents were already leading him to sit, rapid-fire questions coming out of their mouth.
Where are you from? How did you meet? Are you serious about our Tav? What's your religion? Where's your family? What are your plans?
But Astarion answered them all, with only mild censorship for the child's sake. The child who suddenly couldn't stop staring at him. It wasn't exactly easy to sell himself as a future husband when he was a vampiric ex-slave, but he made do.
It was an overwhelming experience to say the least, but not necessarily an unpleasant one. That was one good thing about trying to marry into a family of zealots, it was a lot easier to convince them of your virtue when you received a personal blessing from their goddess.
By the end of the night, they were all throughly appeased, enough so to get off the topic of him for a moment.
"You look a little young to have a thirty-year old child," Astarion said to your mother. He was actively trying to compliment her for obvious reasons, but he was also genuinely curious. She barely looked a day over 40.
"Oh we breed young," She said with a laugh, "We had Tav in our teenage years. Arabeth came much, much later. Our favorite little surprise. Gods, I can't think of a single person in our family who didn't have kids young. Our little Tav is the only exception to the rule."
"But maybe not for much longer, huh?" Marcoul added with a grin, yelping when you lightly smacked him over the head for the comment.
"Do not start the kid talk again!" You hissed out, cheeks red, "We've talked about this!"
Astarion couldn't help but grin at your reaction, charmed by your embarrassment. Though... the idea of the two of you having children together sure was an interesting thought.
Astarion felt a tug on his sleeve while you were distracted arguing with your parents. He turned, smiling when he saw your little sister standing there, still staring at him with wide-eyes.
She took a deep breath before blurting out, "You look like a prince. Are you?"
"Not exactly," Astarion said with a small laugh. That couldn't be further from the truth, "There's no blue blood in my veins."
She frowned, cocking her head at him like he wasn't making any sense. But then an idea obviously struck her as she excitedly asked, "But if you married a princess, then you'd become a prince too. Right?"
"I suppose?" Astarion answered with a shrug.
"So if I become a princess, and I marry you, then you'll be a prince?"
This conversation was quickly becoming out of his depth. But luckily enough for him you were swooping in to save him.
You laughed at her question, turning your attention back to the two of them, "No offense Bethy, but I'm going to be the one marrying this particular prince."
But Arabeth wasn't having it. She crossed her arms, looking at you like she was the one talking to a child, "You can't. Because if I don't marry him, he won't be a prince. So there. I have to do it."
She looked so serious, her facial expressions incredibly similar to your own. Astarion was holding back a loud laugh as you tried and failed to reason with her, "I can marry him without the royal status-"
"No! I'm marrying the prince!"
Your parents were doing a much worse job at hiding their reactions, both of them opening giggling behind their hands as you came up with a compromise.
"Okay, okay," You said with a sigh, kneeling down to look the small girl in the eye, "How about this? I marry him first. But only until you become a princess. Then he's all yours. Sound fair?"
She thought about it for a moment before nodding to herself, "Sounds fair."
Well Astarion wasn't going to get a better set-up then that. He turned to your father, his nerves coming back for a brief appearance, "I'm assuming now might be a good time to ask what I came here to ask. Though I do promise I only intending on asking for one of your children's hand in marriage."
Marcoul nodded slowly, his face unreadable as he spoke, "I mean no offense when I say this Astarion, but you aren't exactly who I imagined for my daughter."
"Dad don't-"
"Darling, let him finish," Astarion gently interrupted, his eyes still locked with your father's.
He took a deep breathe before continuing, "That said, I've never seen her so... herself with someone else before. So yes. The two of you can marry. On one condition."
"Anything," Astarion said instantly, nearly giddy at the fact that he was so close to the official yes, "Just name it."
"You have to have the wedding here," Seliras answered for him, a massive smile on her face, "No ifs, ands, or buts."
"And I get to be flower girl!" Arabeth chimed in, her past indignation completely forgotten as she climbed all over you, "And there has to be chocolate cake!"
"Oh gods, help us," You groaned, but Astarion was already nodding along. He couldn't give less than two shits where it happened or who was involved. He could scarcely believe that it was happening at all. But that was the last thing he had needed.
He already had the ring, the most amazing person he could ever fathom being with. Who actually wanted him back.
Now all he had to do was ask.
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merakiui · 3 months ago
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Would you make a list ranking which unique magics and they potentials are hottest to you 👀
👀 OMG YES???? Thank you for this opportunity, anon!!! I have so many thoughts about the unique magics!!
Here is my grand list:
1. Off With Your Head - this one is very self-explanatory. The control, the collar, the way it makes you unable to use your magic, Riddle’s sheer mastery over it and how he uses it so often in the game

. orz immensely hot to me.
2. Snake Whisper - the hypnosis and helplessness of the target paired with Jamil’s very obvious lust for power and control. The way we makes you call him master as well

. so yummy!!!
3. Dark Fire - no one understands Rollo’s charm more than I do. What do you mean his UM is fueled by the fear and distress of others, thus making it stronger?!?!?! OTL that has so much potential. I love it so much.
4. Shock the Heart - I would’ve placed this one lower only because it has so much appeal and yet it can only be used once on a person, but perhaps you can argue that makes it even hotter. Regardless, I love everything about Jade’s UM. The magical chant, the way you must look into his eye, the beautiful imagery the manga blessed us with
 đŸ˜”â€đŸ’« being forced to tell the truth no matter what

.
5. Laugh With Me - another one that’s so great for control. Ruggie’s UM would be so great for (forced) mutual masturbation. But also,,, it has the potential to be used in such horrifying ways. >:)
6. Split Card - clones. Gangbang. Need I say anymore?
7. Doodle Suit - I like the mind games that can come from this. Not knowing what’s your reality and what’s fantasy whenever Trey uses his UM is so hot. T^T I NEED HIM.
8. Fae of Maleficence - I think it’s more so the overwhelming power and horrifying range of this UM that makes it so attractive. Malleus is terrifyingly strong and this UM always reminds me of that, amongst other moments in the plot. In Idia’s words, truly a final boss.
9. Life is Fun - Fellow’s UM


. WOW. Maybe it deserves to be higher on the list, but because I’ve yet to officially experience Fellow in the game I will place it within this humble top ten. :D even so, it has too much potential and I love it.
10. It’s a Deal - hear me out

. this is such an overpowered UM and it’s all Azul’s to use (and abuse) as he pleases. Having such a dangerous UM where, if not for the contract, he would be more susceptible to overblot. AAAAAAA HE’S SO FINE. The UM chant is amazing, tako’s greed, the amount of powers he can build up because there seems to be no limit to the amount of contracts he makes!!! So hot to me. <3
11. Fairest One of All - Vil’s UM

 the ability to place a curse on anything that can’t be lifted until the conditions are met. AAAAAA SO MUCH POTENTIAL. OTL
12. I See You - this one is frightening but very on brand for Rook Hunt. ^^;;;; it makes stalking darling so much easier, but something tells me Rook wouldn’t use his UM because it defeats the thrill of hunting darling himself.
13. Meet in a Dream - this one is more whimsical than it is hot, but it still has plenty of potential because dreams can be anything and everything. There’s never any logic to them. Also,,, I love the idea of darling constantly seeing a silver-haired prince in their dreams. The dream sex surely goes crazy. :)
14. King’s Roar - it’s so powerful omg,,, more so that than it is hot. The only circumstance I can think of in which it’s hot is if Leona’s using it to turn all of your clothes to sand, but why would he need magic for that when he can easily take them off himself. ;D
15. Sleep Kiss - Epel’s UM is so dainty and Victorian to me. The glass coffin

 that’s so pretty. orz the way it also puts you to sleep,,, somno with Epel?!?!?!
16. Bind the Heart - I’m sorry the ranking is so low, Floyb. >_< it’s another UM that’s very good in a fight. I like it a lot, especially the way he says it hehe.
17. Far Cry Cradle - this one is very interesting!! I absolutely see the vision with it. Just not a lot of horny vision, unless it’s a scenario where he casts it on your sex toy or something just to play that memory back. >:3c
18. Unleash Beast - this one is so cute to me. Jack turning into a wolf is adorable. OTL thinking about how mesmerized the kids must be if and when he uses his UM back home. How exciting it is to climb up on his back and be carried around everywhere. :D I just think it’s very sweet.
19. Bet the Limit - this is great for fighting, but for things other than that,,,, but I do love how strong it is. Deuce’s UM is so cool. >w<
20. Oasis Maker - I AM SO SORRY, KALIM
.. T^T I love his UM. I think it’s so fun!! Alas, it isn’t very hot in that sense to me. However, there are so many other aspects to Kalim that make him so wonderful hehe.
21. Gate to Underworld - it was incredibly attractive in book six. That sort of power,,,, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Idia and Ortho were successful in resetting the world. Outside of book six, the UM loses a few aura points. STYX Idia will forever be famous to me.
22. Living Bolt - apologies in advance to Sebek. His UM is so cool!!!! Just,,, not the hottest of UMs. WAAAA I’M SORRY, SEBEK!!!! OTL
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81folklore · 1 year ago
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older - LECLERC
pairings: charles leclerc x male!singer!reader (fc: luke hemmings)
summary: singer yn ln releases a love song with his boyfriend, and the public are not prepared for who it is about
authors note: this has been on my mind for SO LONG. i honestly dont like how many fics ive been doing on the same people (charles, lando etc) but whenever i go to start a new one on my list for someone else i think of something that i have to do😭 also in this reader is not a part of 5sos but close friends with the 3, wfttwtaf is readers album and older is exclusivly the readers song
authors note 2: i wanted to quickly clarify i am NOT speculating that charles or luke are gay/queer and this is not my intentions. luke obviously sings older and i find it easier to visualise it this way, while the reader in this is male, this could also be read as gn!reader. this is FICTION please do not tkae this as me speculating anything
authors note 3: i didnt really know what i was doing with this so its kind of all over the place and very rushed :/ but then again when arent my smau all over the place?? also can you tell i hate writing comments by the way i just dont😭
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we started this song together back in 2020 and picked it back up at the end of 2022
'Older' was originally a voice memo of a 50’s-style love song that we wrote together, then forgot about. when thinking of concepts for my debut album i stumbled across the memo and fell in love with it all over again, but i put it aside yet again as to me, it deserved more than the album
the song has changed a lot from the original voice memo, but the meaning has stayed the same throughout. despite all the beauty, the ups and downs of a long-term relationship over many years, there’s inevitably going to be the worst moment of your love because one of you is going to lose each other
capturing those feelings in a song was tricky but ultimately we wrote from the heart and i think it shows in the song itself
this has always been a song between us, so having him play on this song was very importnt to me and im glad he said yes
older is now yours
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im very pleased to announce a very special one off show at the Royal Albert Hall in London this November 18th. I will be playing a bunch of tracks from my debut album and may be joined to play some others aswell! Tickets on sale this monday at 10 am BST. Lots of love always, yn x
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thank you for an incredible night at the royal albert hall
looking back at the best night of my life, i need to thank each and every one of you who allowed this dream to come true, i will never be able to thank you guys enough
performing in my dream venue, with my favorite people in the world was something i never thought was possible and yet here i am, writing this still on my high from last night
thank you to my friends; michael, ashton and calum who took the time to come to london and perform their songs with me, thank you for always loving me and agreeing to my crazy ideas
to my team and everyone who worked to make this night as special as it could be, thank you. thank you for making my htoughts a reality and making this night as wonderful as possible
thank you to the staff who worked throughout the show to make sure everyone was safe, well and looked after. you truly do not get as much credit as you deserve and i apreciate the hard work you put in to keep everyone happy
thank you to those who joined me, i wish each and every one of you who wanted to could have been there. thank you for singing along and listening to me pour my heart and soul into my music
thank you for letting me do this x
view comments
user55: not the pcd hitting alreadyâ˜č
user1: and im supposed to pretend i didnt see yn and 5sos perform os/co??
user89: CHARLES?? YN IS DATING CHARLES??
user91: AND HE CAME ON STAGE?? AND THEY PERFORMED OLDER??
user50: i cant believe i saw this all happen live
user47: THANK YOU TO WHOEVER WAS RUNING THE GRAINY LIVESTREAM I OWE YOU MY LIFEđŸ§ŽđŸ§ŽđŸ»â€â™€ïžđŸ§ŽđŸ»â€â™€ïž
ashtonirwin: thank you for everything yn. youre a real life angel
user16: NO CHARLES MENTION??
user9: BESTIE HE HAS A WHOLE POST
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after having time to process this show, I feel so overcome with gratefulness. my music means so much to me and seeing so many people resonate with it in a live space was so special for me.
charlie, my life would literally fall apart without you and this would have never happened without you giving me the confidence to do so, i hold so much love and admiration for you
thank you for joining me on such a special night and performing our song with me, thank you for sticking with me through it all and thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you
i sometimes wonder where i would be if i didnt find you, if i wasnt blessed with your love. i try to think about the times before you, before us, but both feel impossible to do after feeling your love
life with you is so special and i promise to always cherish and love you
merci de m'avoir laissé vieillir avec toi, merci de m'avoir laissé t'adorer, merci de m'avoir choisi (thank you for letting me get old with you, thank you for letting me adore you, thank you for choosing me)
yn x
tagged: charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc: mon ange, je t'aimerai toujours (my angel, I will always love you)
charles_leclerc: je suis tellement privilĂ©giĂ©e d'ĂȘtre celle que tu aimesđŸ€đŸ€ (I'm so privileged to be the one you love)
yourusername: vieillir avec toi ne semble pas si effrayantđŸ–€đŸ–€ (growing old with you doesn't seem so scary)
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lover-of-mine · 9 days ago
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Okay let's have a conversation about the breakup green and why we were right about that, because I feel like I'm being mean just throwing it out there that you can't make a pattern out of one single data point.
Why were we right about the breakup green? Because they really established the breakup green. Green, specifically that forest green is attached in crisis inside Buck's relationships: the conversation with Ali, the time that he tells Taylor that he cheated, the actual break up with Taylor, and now the break up with Tommy.
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That means that it is an established color, but how did we know for sure that the green was a bad sign? It's because the show really established green as Buck's something is wrong color. You can tell me I'm wrong all day long but I'm right. This is the thing that I won't budge. You know want to know why I know I'm right? because Buck's coma a dream is green.
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If they used green to show that Buck's alternative reality is off that means that when Buck is wearing green something is off.
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And when you add in every single situation that we saw Buck in green in the whole show, and yes I checked the whole show to make sure that I was right about this one, Buck is always doing something misguided in his own search for love. The relationships with Ali, Taylor, and Tommy in and on itself were a misguided attempt so the issues are green. And other situations that we have Buck wearing green are taking red to see Cindy because he's projecting, talking to Maddie about Red and being left behind, hiding on Eddie's house because he's scared to confront Taylor, the cemetery scene and the whole I like I feel like she sees me situation, lying to Eddie about the date, and the bachelor party. The e bachelor party is the one thing that you have to stretch the definition a little bit, but Buck is misguided in the whole situation because Chim doesn't want the party and Bucks overcompensating. We don't have this type of proof with white.
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vashtijoy · 4 months ago
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I wanted to ask if you could clear this up for me, if you play in third semester and you get to Maruki's Reality, we see Akechi appear to turn himself in on Christmas Eve so, Im not sure exactly why we dont see him do so when you go back to The True Reality? what was the reason for it, Im not clear on it a bits
Hi! In short, Atlus want to maintain the mystery of whether Akechi is canonically dead or alive. Thanks for your question!
... okay, okay. More seriously, Akechi arriving on Christmas Eve is the first use we see Maruki make of his enhanced power. Akechi is present in Shibuya to take the rap for Ren because Maruki puts him there. So when that is later undone, Akechi is no longer there—and Ren was arrested and detained, all along. Just as he was in the vanilla game.
but doesn't maruki's reality start on 12/31?
We-ell... kind of. As he says in his 1/1 journal entry, Maruki finally merges Mementos with reality late on 12/31, when Ren has his dream about the butterfly. But he's already using his new power before that point, to do nice things for his friends, the Phantom Thieves.
It's not just Akechi in Shibuya. The Christmas Eve party in Royal is very different from its counterpart in vanilla—well, sure. Ren's not in detention, so the whole mood is different. They talk about Akechi, but then they just move on to have fun. Well, it is Christmas.
But the New Year's party is a strange sequence of pleasant events. Futaba calls it "an actual, real-life good ending"! We hear not just that Ren's conviction is likely to be overturned, but that Shido is to be prosecuted for the crimes he confessed. In February, of course, Sae will tell us that it took months just to document his confession, and that he's being prosecuted only for breaches of electoral and funding law.
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Something else to note about the Royal Christmas and New Year events: to my ear, they have a glib, superficial tone. Don't you think so? Matters of import come up, but the team move past them, to talk about trivialities, about their party and the fun they're having. It's kind of nice; this is who they might have been without the weight of responsibility, of grief. But equally, that weight should be there.
This is illustrated in the script. Both events feature a long string of sound effect emotes:
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These SE lines are never translated, but what you see here is Joker, Ryuji, and Ann laughing—waraigoe, the sound of laughter, literally "a laughing voice". This laugh, on New Year's Eve, continues through the whole group, not just the Phantom Thieves but also Sojiro and even Sae.
Coincidence? There are group laughs later, after Joker is released, and at the big confidant party. But those are just attributed to 慹擡 zen'in ("everybody"), or 侀搌 ichidou ("all present"). These lists of identical laugh lines at the start of Maruki's reality are just a little bit unnerving. By the time of Maruki's bad ending, those brief lapses into reality, with all of its unpleasantness, are gone.
So yes, in small ways, Maruki is using his power even before he merges Mementos with reality late on 12/31. And here's one last thing to pay attention to on 12/24. You know how Maruki alters reality itself, by altering people—by changing everyone's cognition so that the world agrees on its new nature? Watch Sae, during this scene.
She's surprised, sure—but she never seems surprised that Akechi is alive. She's just surprised that he's turning himself in. In the vanilla scene, on the other hand, she explicitly says that Akechi is missing. Ren can bring up that Akechi is back from the dead, but Sae doesn't seem to care!
Wheels within wheels.
so where's akechi in the "real" timeline?
Can of worms. Which "real timeline"? There are two, depending on whether or not you maxed Akechi's confidant. In the vanilla timeline, you don't get him to rank 8 before the engine room, and he dies behind the door. But in the Royal timeline, you do get him to rank 8, and you keep your promise, and that gives Akechi the will to live.
(Yes, this is what I currently believe. And more than that, I think it's the true meaning of that creator interview, "the player's feelings are equivalent to the protagonist's cognition". It doesn't mean that guy on the platform can be a randomer in his school uniform or a ghost!—it means there's one route where he's dead, and one where he's alive.)
In the game as released, we don't know where Akechi is. But in his February deleted scene—where he's clearly alive—he tells us where he was, for precisely this reason.
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He wasn't in Shibuya at all. He was at this refuge, wherever it is, going into hiding. He wasn't around to save Ren.
If this scene had been left in, this would have been the moment Akechi came out of safety, out of hiding, and gave up on his life—to do what's right once more, to confirm his 12/24 decision, and face justice in Ren's place. If you think Maruki altered him, and he would never have turned himself in otherwise—watch this scene again. Yeah, we were robbed.
what else does akechi say?
On 2/2, Akechi tells us how it happened:
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Let's take a quick look at that line in Japanese:
Akechi ă‘ă©ă€ć›ăŸăĄăšæˆŠăŁăŸă‚ăšâ‹Ż{F1 82}べもう侀ćșŠäŒšă†ăŸă§ćƒ•ăźäž­ă«ăƒăƒƒă‚­ăƒȘă—ăŸèš˜æ†¶ăŻăȘかった。 kedo, kimi-tachi to tatakatta ato... [Ren] to mou ichido au made boku no naka ni hakkiri shita kioku wa nakatta But after I fought against you all, I had a gap in my memory that ended with meeting up with [Ren] again. [lit. But, after I fought with you and the others
 until I met back up with [Ren], I had no clear memories.]
hakkiri shita—"clear; distinct; vivid; plain; explicit; well-defined; sharp; loud and clear". hakkiri to kioku shiteiru—"to remember clearly". hakkiri shinai kioku—"unclear memories". hakkiri shita kioku—"clear memories".
Note that well. Akechi is not saying that he remembers nothing. He's saying he remembers nothing clear, which is substantively different, and not conveyed well by the English "a gap in my memory".
(He also switches address mid-sentence—in the first half of the line, he's addressing Ren as kimi ("you"), but then he cuts off, and addresses him as Ren. It looks like he switches from talking directly to Ren to talking to Maruki. And if you remember him being a dick about that moment on 1/2... this might be the line that reveals that actually, yeah, their promise in the engine room really did matter to him.)
Akechi believes he's dead on 2/2; I think there can be no question of that. There isn't a big reveal that he was alive all the time. And you can't even get this scene if you didn't max his confidant, if you didn't keep the promise—if Akechi didn't survive.
But there is an afterlife in the Persona universe, from which characters have even spoken—so I'd like to hear a little more, some day, about these "unclear memories" of his.
but how can he be alive
Bear in mind that the third semester looks identical (besides that engine room flashback on 1/2), regardless of whether or not you maxed Akechi's confidant. That's to say, whether Akechi dies in the engine room or not, the third semester does not change.
That means that everyone's perceptions of it cannot change. That includes Akechi. If he was dead and Maruki revived him, then he has no memories before he awakens in Shibuya, because he was dead. But if he wasn't dead—if he was at the refuge we see him at in the deleted scene, or in Hawaii, or on the Moon—if Maruki believes that he was dead, and attempts to revive him based on that conviction—
Well, then he creates a world where Goro Akechi died behind those shutters, doesn't he? A world where Akechi remembers nothing before he awakens in Shibuya, because now he was dead for those weeks. A world where, even though you saved him, Akechi died in the engine room. Just like in the vanilla timeline.
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revision history
Click here for the latest version.
v1.2 (2024/07/13)—wording.
v1.1 (2024/07/12)—added a bit about how akechi bookends 1/2 and 2/2.
v1.0 (2024/07/12)—first posted.
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