#are very risky

[thermodynamic-comedian]

fine i'll feed you guys more takes.

gwen and lena

[marisatomay]

It's so funny that everyone immediately called Eddie gay for doing the Risky Business dance and he is but he also just beat for beat recreated what Tom Cruise did in Risky Business and. well.

[ozziyo]

i received a vision of their life like 5 years after veilguard

[justabiteofspite]

"Astarion doesn't do big romantic gestures."

My Durge still trying to get graveyard dirt out of her ass crack after being lovingly pounded into it by Astarion who wanted to share with her this deeply joyful and meaningful reclamation of himself after sharing a vulnerable declaration of his love, at this place he hasn't shown anyone else but her: "Then what the actual fuck was that???"

[hajihiko]

if you think you recognize these unassuming and innocent young men, no you don't keep walking

[bigfatbreak]

Question about your changling AU, where did you learn about the ins and outs of Fae and Changling myths? I'm interested in learning too but not sure where to start lol

some of the lore I have for the AU I crafted myself, otherwise I read a lot of old faerie tales growing up and my mom, for some reason, knows an awful lot about shit like that, so some of it is just innate from her. otherwise i just read a lotttttt of books around the concepts of these things when I was younger because I was fascinated with jim henson's worlds

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Eddie doing his Spider-Man routine and climbing up a two-story house for a rescue*

Buck: ¿Este enano pendejo cuando aprenderá? The entire 118 with shocked faces: … Buck: Ok listen- Ravi: Was that for real? Are you finally together? Chim, laughing: They are definitely having sex at least. Buck: What? No. We've been spending a lot of time together watching too many telenovelas, that's all! Bobby: It's ok Buck, we believe you. Buck: No really, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Hen: Yeah, I bet you've been very deep in his colon. Ravi, wheezing: COLON-

[buggachat]

seeing a lot of talk of the season 5 finale, which is fun, i get that it was controversial (honestly the fact it was really risky is kind of one of the things i like about it lol) and wanting to add my two cents but can't think of much i haven't already said before

but something i do want to emphasize is that season 5 ending on Marinette telling the biggest, boldest faced lie she's ever told (that goes far beyond "protecting her identity") to kick off the Lila arc is by far the coolest thing they could've done imo, because I was not at all excited for the Lila arc before but now I'm totally invested. Now Lila isn't the Evil Liar to be taken down by Good Marinette. Marinette is the liar to be taken down by the very liar that she took down. It's not a story of "defeat that freakishly evil girl" anymore, but instead a story of "Marinette's own actions and decisions coming back to bite her". And the lie itself (WHICH LILA KNOWS IS A LIE!!) only exists because, and is most impactful towards, her relationship with Adrien, which is the core of the series!! I CARE about their relationship, and that's the stakes!!!

I just cannot get over how cool that is, and how much I didn't expect it. I know we all were expecting a big fight with Ladybug and Chat Noir just defeating Gabriel and then watching Chat Noir cry or whatever in the few remaining minutes of screen-time and then it's all over and done with, but that's a series finale. This was a season finale. And they did something really unique and unexpected with it, while making sure it's a juicy season-finale conflict that leaves me actually excited about season 6

also, a side note— I think the framing of the finale made this confusing so I totally get why discussions about it are kind of all over the place, but... 90% of the post-wish stuff we saw had nothing to do with Gabriel at all. It was all Mayor Bustier, who was already running for mayor and wanted to enact green laws and projected to win (she was up against D'Argencourt, the character whose schtick is that nobody ever votes for him in elections). I don't think Gabriel's wish included "Please, Gimmi, I want my son's school teacher to win the mayoral election this year" lol. So a lot of talk of "why is Gabriel's World presented in such a positive light?" is kind of weird to me. That's not Gabriel's World. That's Caline Bustier's. All we know so far about Gabriel's World is that Nathalie is in it and he is not. And frankly, the fact everyone is so happy and cheerful and living it up after his death is more a roast than anything

( also, just a reminder that the presentation of Gabriel's statue— the only scene discussing Gabriel in a positive light by someone In The Know— was done by Tomoe Tsurugi, a series antagonist, vowing to continue his work, with a song in minor key playing in the background. i feel like the question of "was this meant to be unsettling or triumphant?" is pretty obvious. just wanted to remind everyone. also by definition characters cannot celebrate gabriel as a "hero" without in the same breath celebrating monarch's, aka gabriel's, death. yknow? )

[starcurtain]

Just caught up with Natlan's archon quest and lord help me, I have a burning need to see Alhaitham and Ororon interact.

I truly feel that they would vibe perfectly. Not in a ship way, but like, in the way of Kaveh quietly wailing: "For archons' sake, he's brought another tacky thing into the house. Traveler, please do something; they've been staring eye to eye over the coffee table for like an hour now but haven't said a single word. I don't know what to do. Send help."

[vynnyal]

OK, fair warning to the few people I actually managed to convince to try the game??

Rain world does NOT play like hollow knight, and you'll get your butt kicked if you approach it like that.

It's really hard. Like, really hard. Instead of the game literally giving you abilities in the form of power-ups and damage buffs, the only abilities you gain is from what you learn and your own ingenuity. You're a rat from beginning to end. If you just beef your way through it, it's gonna suck and you're gonna be confused and frustrated all the time. But if you pay attention, take it slow, and learn how the ai works and how everything interacts with each other, you can consistently get through and dominate situations you thought were impossible to do so when you first began. Now get out there, kill some lizards, and bully some old computers!

[viivdle]

them: so, what else is new?

me, knowing all i did was think about fictional couples all summer long:

[lgbtlunaverse]

The women Jin Guangyao uses to kill Jin Guangshan are NOT from the brothel he grew up in

Except for Sisi, obviously.

But, crucially, Sisi MOVED brothels after her face got slashed.

That's why Jin Guangyao only recognized her after Jin Guangshan was already dead. If he had sourced the women from the brothel he grew up in, you think he wouldn't have made sure beforehand that they wouldn't include the one woman who was explicitly nice to him and his mother? He couldn't bear to kill her even after she was already a witness, but that meant he had to imprison her instead. Not exactly an ideal scenario! You think he wouldn't have thought to avoid that?

Well, that's all hypothetical anyway, because he couldn't have sourced anyone from the brothel he grew up in anyway, because that brothel had already been burnt down. By Jin Guangyao! This is the order he gives Xue Yang at the end of the villainous friends extra, which also contains Xue Yang meeting Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. Which means this is way before Xue Yang kills the Chang clan, Xiao Xingchen eventually catches him, and Nie Mingjue kicks Jin Guangyao down the stairs which leads to his death 2 months later. And Jin Guangshan doesn't die until after Nie Mingjue is already dead, so while this is definitely where Jin Guangyao starts planning to kill his father, it's well before he actually executed that plan. By the time he does, that brothel is ash.

I say this because there's been several time now where I've seen people attribute Jin Guangyao using sex workers to kill his father, and killing them aferwards, to some kind of revenge scheme? A way to get back at the other women in the brothel who mistreated his mom at the same time as he gets back at his father. But all those women died when it burned to the ground. We see their ghosts in guangyin temple! Every single woman Jin Guangyao uses to kill his father and then later executes was a complete stranger to him. It has nothing to do with who they are and everything to do with what they are (older 'ugly' sex workers) Whether you think that makes his actions worse or better or generally has no moral impact i'll leave up to you. But it's important to remember that while the violence he enacts on his father is deeply personal, what he does to the sex workers is not.

[odinsblog]

Dang, that was quick. The paperwork is already changed and filed. Things are moving along pretty fast 🏃🏽‍♀️💨

[thejudeduarte]

I actually CACKLED when I read this

[averygrambsbankaccount]

merry Christmas (eve)!! this one wasn’t requested but I wanted to write a fun little christmas fic. I know the idea of this fic is kinda ridiculous and unrealistic but I thought it was funny (: I hope you guys enjoy 💗

word count: 3292

A Hawthorne Christmas Special Disaster

Christmas at Hawthorne House was magical, and everyone knew it. It was better than the North Pole itself. Christmas trees were in every hall, every room, so many of them it would be a fools errand to even attempt to count them. There were wreaths on every door, mistletoe on every chandelier, eggnog and hot chocolate on every table, and high Christmas spirit all throughout.

So, to put it simply, it was magical. A winter wonderland, so to speak!

This Christmas Eve, the House was full of guests. The usuals; Avery, Libby, and the Hawthorne brothers, along with Oren, Alisa, Nan, Thea, Rebecca, Max, and Zara. New additions this year were Gigi; Grayson’s cheerful younger sister who was basically the embodiment of the word hyper, and Grayson’s new girlfriend, Lyra. 

The house was practically bursting at the seams with how many guests were staying this Holiday, but Avery stayed true to the statement The more the merrier! and reacted positively to every new arrival the night before Christmas.

With so many people there, the presents were overflowing too. So, they all agreed to put them in one room, and they would all be transported to the biggest tree in the house that night. The room was covered from floor to ceiling in presents, varieties of coloured wrapping paper making it a bit hard on the eyes.

Even with the presents taking up most of the space, Xander somehow still managed to run one of his contraptions through the rooms. Someone should really be monitoring him at all times, and maybe that was where they went wrong. Unattended, Xander usually managed to do one of his favourite things, even by accident; blow stuff up. 

Whilst everyone went about their day, preparing for the big holiday coming up so soon, Xander was causing some big trouble. In his defense, he didn’t know it would blow up like that.

Avery and Jameson were in the library together when they heard the firework sounding, extremely close, extremely concerning, boom. It was even more absurd considering how quiet the library had been moments before the explosion had rocked it.

“Did a bomb just go off?” Avery was quite calm, albeit very confused.

“No,” Jameson took her hand and started leading her to the direction of the explosion noise. “I think it’s more likely Xander just went off.”

Grayson was sitting quietly, working at his desk with Lyra on her phone behind him when the incident occurred.

“What the fuck goes on this house?” Lyra sat up.

“Xander,” Grayson stood, sighing internally. “And I believe it’d be more accurate to describe it as him going off.”

Oren was keeping an eye on the security cameras when Xander made the Christmas big bang happen, so he had the pleasure of watching it all happen in real time. He rubbed his forehead in frustration when one of his men walked on.

“Sir, we heard the explosion. Is there a threat?”

“No,” Oren sighed. “Just Xander. Again.”

It seemed everyone was used to his antics by now.

The loud noise of the explosion soon led them all to the room where it happened, where Xander was currently standing with half an eyebrow missing, a face caked in dirt, and a shocked expression.

“Ok!” Xander exclaimed as they all walked into the room. “It was an accident, I swear!”

“Did it really have to happen in the room where all the presents are?” Thea sniped.

“Um,” Max quietly commented. “I think you mean the room where the presents were.”

“They do seem to have disappeared.” Rebecca pursed her lips, and a collective sigh of exasperation seemed to echo through the room.

———

The presents really did seem to have disappeared. If you looked at the broken windows or the literal hole in the wall, it wasn’t too hard to discern where they had gone to.

“They’re out on the grounds!” Libby ran her hands through her hair. “They could be anywhere! They could be gone!”

“Ok, everyone calm down,” Nash put his arm around Libby’s shoulder. “They gotta be out there somewhere. Let’s all just go look. I’m sure we could find them.”

“And if we don’t, Santa can just bring us replacement ones!” Gigi said, then in respond to the looks she was given added: “I’m joking! Duh!” (But the way she looked down sure didn’t make it seem like she was joking)

“So, we go look. Isn’t this what Christmas is about? Finding hope when all is lost?” Avery tried to bring up the mood.

Max scoffed. “Actually, Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, which I have already informed you of, Avery-“

Zara brought her hands together, abruptly ending that sentence. “Let’s just go look for those damned presents, shall we?”

There was a chorus of agreement throughout the room, and they started to make their plans to divide and conquer. Avery turned to her boyfriend beside her and noticed the especially nervous look on his face.

“Jameson?” Avery looked at him with concern in her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jameson put his hands on her shoulders. “Why don’t you go with Gigi and Lyra…I think I’m gonna go with my brothers.”  

Avery nodded, biting her lip in worry. She didn’t want to say anything, but she feared he was hiding something from her. 

The groups were made and the plan wasn’t really a plan at all; it was just look. It felt a bit like they were saving Christmas.

As everyone shuffled out of the room, Xander’s voice called out one last time to them all; “I’m really sorry guys! I swear! It won’t happen again!”

“It will,” Nan snorted from her seat next to the piano. “Oh, it will.”

Avery, Lyra, and Gigi were walking along the east side of the estate, coats wrapped tightly around their bodies and their breath creating clouds in the air. It was mostly silent, until Gigi spotted a wrapped little miracle in the distance. 

“Look, I found one!” She took off running, and Avery and Lyra struggled to keep up with their freezing legs, until with no warning, Lyra was suddenly miles ahead of Avery too.

“How,” Avery panted “Are you guys so fast in this weather?” She rested her hands on her knees when she finally reached them.

“I’m a runner,” Lyra shrugged, taking the present box from Gigi’s hands.

“From Nash, to Libby.” Lyra read off the tag.

“Oooh, what do you think it is!” Gigi said excitedly. 

“None of our business.” Avery and Lyra said at basically the same time, each of them laughing a little at the coincidence.

“Jinx!” Gigi exclaimed. “I did it for you, since you guys forgot to.” She smiled brightly.

On the west side of the estate, the four Hawthorne brothers walked together. 

“Don’t look so nervous, Jamie,” Nash pushed his shoulder. “It’ll work out.”

“And if it doesn’t,” Grayson added coldly, raising a blonde eyebrow in Xander’s direction “We know who to blame.”

“Hey! I didn’t mean to blow your-“ 

“Shhh,” Jameson shushed him. “You never know who could be listening.”

Grayson silently rolled his eyes.

Xander continued, “I didn’t mean to blow your redacted out the wall! It just happened!”

“Well my ‘redacted’ is pretty darn important, Xander!”

“Let’s not fight. Maybe we should just focus on finding it.” Grayson stayed calm as ever.

“Yeah, before Avery does. That wouldn’t be good.” Nash winced just imagining it.

“God, don’t stress me out more!” Jameson ran his hands through his hair. “Everyone just…focus on looking!”

Libby, Max, Rebecca and Thea were together, but they were separated into two different duos waking close. Rebecca and Thea were a bit more focused on their romance than the presents, and Libby and Max were preoccupied with gossip.

“So, you know right?” Max whispered. “He told you?”

“Yes, of course!” Libby whispered back. “Well…technically Nash told me, but it’s fine.”

“Same,” Max giggled. “Xander told me. He’s not too good at keeping secrets from me..but not to worry, for I’m great at keeping secrets!”

“Me too,” Libby agreed. “My lips are sealed, one hundred and ten percent.”

Rebecca and Thea were caught up in a passionate conversation when one of them spotted a box sitting on the roof of a small shed. “Look, I found one!” 

“Wow, that’s a big box.” Libby commented. “How do we get it down?” 

“I’m on it!” Max was already scaling the wall.

“Uhhhh..” Thea raised one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows. “Are we sure she’s not gonna like…break her leg doing that?”

“I’m fine!” Max was already on the roof, handing the wrapped box down to Libby. She climbed down the wall as easily as she had gone up it, landing on the ground without even a thud. “See?” She said smugly.

“I guess she’s got it under control.” Rebecca shrugged.

The adults of the group were together, though none of them seemed too happy about it. Alisa, Oren, and Zara walked in silence, whilst Nan had opted to stay inside and let the young ones do the dirty work.

“I’m going to kill Xander,” Alisa rubbed between her eyebrows. “I’m a lawyer, for gods sake! How do I end up cleaning up explosions every other damn day?”

“You’re Hawthorne-Adjacent,” Zara studied her nails. “You should expect this by now.”

Oren crossed his arms. “My job description said bodyguard. Now what have I become? A janitor! A directions man!”

“You’re employed to a billionaire,” Zara, ever the realist, stated. “An extremely generous one, at that. Complain all you want, but people would kill to be out here in the freezing cold looking for presents that were blown out a wall just for fun.”

None of them could disagree with that.

“I found a present.” Alisa deadpanned, pointing a manicured finger at a lonely tree on the property, somewhat resembling a Christmas tree, that had a present stuck high up in its branches.

Both the ladies turned to look at Oren, who sighed deeply and then began to climb.

Gigi and Lyra were ahead of Avery, whispering and giggling quietly. Avery looked around at the snow covered trees, and at footprints on the ground, at anything to make it seem like else wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. Unfortunately, the heavy wind made it quite hard to hear what they were saying, but it was clearly something she wasn’t meant to know.

Is everyone keeping something from me? At this point, she was getting a little pissed off.

The brothers walked in silence, looking out on the mostly undisturbed snow. 

“Look!” Xander called out of the blue. “Down that hill!”

Sure enough, down the hill was a jackpot. It seems lots of the presents had tumbled right down into there.

Nash whistled. “Looks like we got ourselves some carrying to do.”

Jameson jogged down the hill, throwing big boxes out of his way in his rush to find it. But, in the giant pile of big presents, there was no little, perfectly wrapped one.

“It’s not here,” Jameson threw his head back. “It’s not here!”

“It’s okay, Jamie,” Xander patted his back. “We will find it! We will not give up!”

“Do I have to carry all these back myself?” Grayson snapped them back to reality with his cold voice.

They got to work.

“Do you think the others have had any luck?” Alisa has by now realized there her shoe choice wasn’t the most…practical for this activity. Although, Zara was wearing heels too and seemed perfectly fine.

“I sure hope so,” The cold air biting at her ankles didn’t bother Zara one bit. “They will be beside themselves if this holiday is ruined. And I mean, honestly, I would just like to relax for now.”

Alisa was opening her mouth to agree when her heel caught on something and she fell forward. Oren caught her in her arms and she put a hand to her chest.

“God, that scared me.” Alisa looked down at the tiny box she had tripped over, which Zara was currently picking up.

Alisa’s eyes narrowed. “Give me that,” She snatched it from her hands.

When she saw the shape of the box and the names written on the top, Alisa was hit with a headache which can only be described as the headache of an impending PR nightmare.

“Jameson Winchester Hawthorne!” She screamed, loud enough that everyone near Hawthorne house would surely hear.

“Did you hear that?” Avery looked up from the ground.

Lyra and Gigi looked up too. 

“Um,” Lyra looked at Gigi nervously. “Should we go check on them?”

“First you guys need to tell me what you’re whispering about,” Avery crossed her arms and stood in front of the pair.

“I want to, so bad! But I-“ Gigi burst out, and Lyra slapped a hand over her mouth.

“Listen, Avery, I’m sorry. But..you’ll know soon enough anyways.”

Avery side eyed her. She’d heard that one before.

“I’m telling the truth!” Lyra defended herself.

Avery was stopped from responding by the sight of all four Hawthorne brothers coming into view, walking hurriedly. They were heading towards the sound of the yelling.

“Come on, guys.” Gigi grabbed the two girls arms and led them in the direction the brothers were heading; towards Alisa, Oren and Zara.

Alisa still stood with the box grasped tightly in her fist, looking at the approaching Jameson with a blank look on her face.

“Seriously?” She muttered. 

Jameson looked at the small present box in her hand, internally sighing in relief that it wasn’t lost forever. “Uh..yeah.”

“She’s 19! You’re 20! Do you know what they’ll be saying in that tabloids? And god knows I’ll be the only one working to fix that!” She scolded him.

Jameson bit his lip, looking behind him for backup. His brothers all seemed preoccupied with the nature around them at the moment rather than the conversation happening in front of them.

“What’s going on?” Avery approached them, the two other girls in her group not far behind. “What’s that?”

It seemed like everyone knew something she didn’t, with the way they all looked at each other. They all knew what the hell was going on, and she had no clue.

“You guys are driving me crazy! Ugh!” She threw her hand hands in the air dramatically, beginning to walk back towards the house.

The scene was quite absurd, with everyone standing silently, watching her retreat. Alisa still held that damned box, and Jameson’s mouth was open as if to explain himself, but he stayed quiet.

“Ow! Fuck!” They heard faintly in the distance, following a barely audible banging noise. “Fucking box!”

“I found the rest of the presents!” Her voice was louder this time, and then immediately followed by the door slamming as she walked back into the house.

Their mouths stayed glued shut for a few moments before Xander decided to clear the air. 

“Ahem,” Xander started trudging through the snow. “You heard her! Get to those presents!”

It turned out, the rest of the presents had blown into a snow bank near a door of Hawthorne House, a big pile just sitting there like Santa’s sleigh had gotten into an accident.

They transported them inside in a conveyor belt system, passing them along. It was quite efficient, and soon the presents were loaded up in the foyer.

“Maybe don’t blow this room up, Xander?” Max joked.

“Don’t sweat it! I’ve learned my lesson.”

Almost everyone in the room rolled their eyes.

“Where’s Jameson?” 

“He took the box.” Alisa said, and they all made eye contact.

“Does that mean��” Libby said excitedly. 

Alisa sighed. “Honestly, I hope not.”

It did in fact mean that. Jameson found Avery in a room not too far from the foyer, sitting by herself. She looked mad.

“Avery,” He said, his voice soft.

“Jameson,” She didn’t sound as happy to see him.

“Listen, Avery, I’m really sorry. But I promise I never wanted to lie to you.”

“So you’re gonna tell me what you’ve been hiding from me?”

He nodded lightly and pulled the box out from his pocket.

She looked at it with wide eyes, suddenly thinking of a possibility she hadn’t thought of before. “I-“

“I was going to do this on Christmas.” Jameson slowly said. “But I think it’s only right to do it now.” He handed her the box.

Avery ripped off the wrapping at lightning speed and upon seeing the black box underneath it her hands started to shake. “Jameson…” Was all she managed to say.

Torturously slow but as fast as she could manage, Avery opened the box, and her eyes were immediately hit by a sparkling glow. “Oh, it’s beautiful.” Probably wasn’t what she was supposed to say in that moment; but she said it anyway.

When Avery looked up, Jameson was on one knee. She gasped.

“I’ll keep this short,” He cleared his throat. “Avery, Saint Avery. I will love you for the rest of my life, and past that, and nothing will change that. I want nothing more than to be with you forever. Will you help make that wish come true? I understand if you’re not ready, and I’m prepared to wait, but…Avery Kylie Grambs, will you marry me?”

Avery could do nothing but stand in shock for a few minutes, and Jameson started to feel slightly terrified. What if she says no?

A smile started to spread across her features. “Yes!” She exclaimed. “Yes, I will!”

They kissed, and it was perfect. The perfect embodiment of the Christmas spirit, minus baby Jesus. 

This romantic, amazing, never to be re created moment was interrupted by a flood of people bursting through the doors.

Squeals of “You’re engaged!” echoed through the room and Avery and Jameson broke apart. Jameson slid the ring onto Avery’s left ring finger before they turned to face the rest of the group.

“Yeah,” Avery giggled. “We are.”

Alisa came forward. “This really is not going to hit that press well. You couldn’t have waited, like, two years? Do I really have to deal with teen pregnancy rumours?”

She paused and looked between them, seeming to be considering something.

“But, I’m happy for you two.” She smiled.

“Thank you, Alisa,” Avery hugged her, and that started a chain of Avery hugging everyone.

“My best friend is getting married! My best friend is getting married!” Max sang.

After everyone finally dispersed, Avery returned to the room of the explosion alone. There, she found Nan, still sitting alone.

“Sit, girl,” She said, mentioning to the space beside her, and Avery obeyed.

“So you’re going to be a Hawthorne?”

Avery nodded silently.

“Marriage is dangerous. Make sure he’s good to you. Tell me if he’s not.” Nan informed her bluntly.

“I-I will.” Avery smiled at her.

A few moments of silence passed, and Avery assumed that was her cue to leave. As she was walking out the door, she heard Nan say one last thing.

“Don’t tell them I said this, but I’m happy to have you apart of this wretched family, girl.”

Avery grinned at her new great-grandmother in law.

———

Christmas morning, thankfully, didn’t involve any explosions, unless the mass amount of hastily ripped wrapping paper landing on the floor counted. Some of the presents had snow or dirt on them from their trip outside, but no one seemed to care.

Christmas morning was filled with joy, and a newly engaged Avery and Jameson felt a lot of it. Everyone did.

Presents were opened, hugs (and kisses) were shared, and it became another magical Christmas at Hawthorne house.

As everyone settled down and the house was quiet in the comfortable Christmas afternoon way, a very familiar boom sounded through the house, followed by an ear piercing screech: “XANDER!”

[unnoodles]

How Avery and Jameson's first conversation basically went:

Jameson: Thanks for agreeing to talk with me.

Avery: I didn't. You just jumped off the balcony and started talking.

Jameson: There's no time for a history lesson.