#applies to pretty much very verse but

[tredispade]

5, 10, 11 {Soleil]

get to know the oc | @gcldfanged

5. Does your OC have a signature weapon and/or attack? How long did they train to master it?

He is very much your classic sword and shield paladin type. He has a preference for single hand swords so he can carry a shield. Usually a smallish buckler type shield for blocking attacks. Though if push comes to shove, he's trained in all sorts of sword types from small almost dagger-like blades to greatswords. It's less of a signature attack and more of a stance. He's a very defensive fighter. He doesn't really like to fight if he doesn't have to. Then will use brute force and sheer physical strength to make his opponent back down. He's been training with a sword since the age of ten and hasn't stopped since. It's a bit of a family tradition to take up a sword. Now at age thirty, he's mastered the skill but still feels like he can improve.

10. Is your OC sentimental or pragmatic? Do they keep mementos or only what they need to survive? Have they always been this way or did something happen to make them change?

He's a little bit of both! But more sentimental than not. He will hold onto things until he knows he has to let it go. And be very sad to let it go. Like he's letting go of the person it was saved for. He's on the move a lot so he can't take many things with him. So little things he'll try to keep. He wears a small pendant necklace from his mother who passed years before. And a ring his sister gave him on a whim because it had a little sun on it. He's always been the type to hang onto things given to him by important people in his life. He'll fight tooth and nail to keep it safe. He's just a deeply emotional person despite trying to be as stoic as possible.

11. What does your OC believe in? God(s)? Monsters? Love? The power of unbreakable bonds of friendship to overcome any obstacle? The ability of money to open any door? Or are they indifferent?

Super verse dependent, but one thing he trusts and believes in above all else is in the bonds of the people he's met. Whether its friends, family, enemies, or even strangers he met on the street. As long as he has those bonds, he has a reason to keep going. As goofy as it sounds, friendship IS his strength. As long as he has someone that needs him, he'll do his damnedest to be there for them. He will crawl over mountains to be there for the people that he loves and cares about.

[fleetinglotus]

Due to the AU nature of this sideblog, please remember to read Timeline on the pinned. This is especially important for Fatui affiliated muses or characters with said verse. The only faces my Wanderer knows are Signora and Dottore, the others are an enigma to him. As for the matter of Childe specifically, i am willing to start from scratch as strangers and just two dude annoying each others & whatnot.

[kotaerukoto]

" I wonder how long it's been... Since I last waited for the traffic lights to change. "

[meanbossart]

Hey! I was thinking of trying to write something for you about DU Drow but after a trying to gather stuff about him via your page I’m struggling to get something substantial for his personality- like I get it mostly (I think?) but it’s hard to put into words (which makes it easier for me) so if it’s not too much to ask; how would you explain DU Drows personality and maybe some of his values? - if you don’t mind! I love your art BTW!

Man, this is a tough ask and I MADE the guy. The fic is definitely the best place to see his personality in action, but it is also 20 chapters long so far - and I'm a fairly reasonable man.

Before I get to any descriptions, there's two important things to note: A) Overwhelmingly, his looks do not match his demeanor. and B) DU drow is extremely hedonistic in practice. He might claim to have certain beliefs or standards but hardly ever practices them.

Anyways, I present to you: The guy, more-or-less summarized to the best of my abilities.

BEHAVIOR: Purposefully standoffish. He wants to be noticed, but he does not want to be bothered. He's a little bit stiff with his body language and mostly makes use of head/neck gestures to assert his sentences and signal his level of interest. On that note, me makes it extremely obvious for the socially-versed individual to tell what he thinks of them - he hardly ever tries to hide if he's disinterested, annoyed, or having a laugh at your expense. He expresses emotion through his face a normal amount, but his default look is eerily bland, and subtle emotions might go unnoticed because of his eye-color and thin brows.

As it is with most people, the more uncomfortable he is with a situation the more stiff and inexpressive he becomes, and vice versa.

SPEECH: DU drow is very much well spoken, and simultaneously very blunt. He abides by most conversational formalities (definitely more formal than you would assume him to be) and basic etiquette. He will greet you and he will say please and thank you even if clearly not meaning it or feeling like you're unworthy of the gesture. Sometimes, he does it just to be patronizing.

With all of that in mind, he has a tendency to use violent turns of phrase and analogies to express himself, this applies to both negative and positive feelings. That being said he's aware of social norma and knows full well when things are or aren't appropriate, even if sometimes he chooses to ignore that and be weird anyway - usually with the purpose of intimidation.

He is the most earnest and sincere with very close friends (quite literally only Astarion and Shadowheart) and rather curt with everyone else unless you catch him in a particularly good mood. He's a little chummier with dwarves and duergar (he finds them amusing and fun to hang out with) and reserves a slight bit more tenderness and kindness for children and mothers, especially if they're elves. He's also fond of animals. He is dismissive of gnomes, goblins, bugbears, half/full orcs and hobgoblins. He despises githyanki and drow. He treats humans fairly respectfully but thinks they are a far lesser race than pretty much all others.

He has a very dark/offensive sense of humor and a tendency to make well crafted, but cruel jokes or quips about sensitive topics. This goes for everybody, including people he's on good terms with.

VALUES: Here's where things get tricky. DU drow is both a hypocrite and a unreliable narrator of his own story, not to mention deeply unfamiliar with his own inner-workings and feelings. Politically, he would be the guy who doesn't vote, doesn't want to pay taxes and dreams of living off the grid, who thinks everybody should pull themselves up by the bootstraps and that it's a dog-eats-dog world. He hates systems of government, authority figures, hierarchical structures and archaic customs. He believes it would a chaotic but functional world if people governed themselves.

In practice, he doesn't stand for anything and gladly overlooks injustices and things that don't align with his supposed values as long as they favor him, or just don't get in his way, and easily makes exceptions for things on a whim. He's indifferent to slavery; unless it's Astarion's. - He thinks humans are a worthless pet-race, except for his dearest and nearest friend, the half-elf Shadowheart. He thinks Half-orcs are intellectually inferior, but he will gladly be chummy with them if they amuse him and make for good-company during a night-out.

INNER WORLD AND INTIMACY: DU drow is extremely unfamiliar with his own emotions and very often comes up empty when he has to justify or explain anything that is based on feeling, while simultaneously operating on impulse and instinct for the vast majority of the time. He is subject to fear, resentment, and insecurity as much as anyone else, but carries a deep shame in acknowledging his own vulnerability at all. He is very intense when it comes to love, however, and shows no reluctance in expressing it through his words and actions towards the people he cares about. He does care for the levels of comfort of those dearest to him though, and doesn't bombard them with it unless the moment is right, or if overwhelmed into doing so. The same applies to physical affection - he's extremely comfortable with it, but cares deeply for respecting the boundaries of his loved ones. When it comes to strangers, he only touches them outside of combat if there is some kind of power-game at play.

A couple of other things that might be of note:

-He likes creature comforts, but is also fine with going without them and won't ever complain about having to live, sleep, or survive in less-than-ideal circumstances as long as he feels in control of the situation. -He can be enticed by valuables and gold because they make the immediate future easier, but he doesn't seek a life of vast riches. -He is not an alcoholic but probably has a binge-drinking problem. -While he is fond and respectful of animals, he has no issues killing them if the situation calls for it. -He pretty much always believes himself to be the most impressive person in the room. -He is not a vain man, but very much likes the way that he looks and to have it be acknowledged by his partner. -He believes faith, religion, and gods to be a waste of time.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

(TW: Religion)

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

When we think about reconciling Christianity and our identity, then we are often automatically jumping to „re-interpreting Bible verses that are used to justify homophobia/transphobia“ or to „looking for Bible verses that can be interpreted in a lgbt-supportive way“. 

Both of that is valid and definitely has its place. And if you are someone who (or trying to discuss with someone who) believes everything in the Bible is true and to be taken literal, then looking for the most accurate interpretation of each passage is also pretty much the only thing you can do.

In that case, take comfort in knowing that there is often historical, cultural etc. context missing from conservative interpretations and learning about that context lets us see seemingly hateful verses in a much more inclusive light! 

That Bible verse that seems to be against gay sex may very well be against rape, that Bible verse that seems to be against trans people dressing the way they want to may very well be condemning old rituals that have nothing to do with modern life. I don’t think looking for these alternative (or maybe *better*) explanations is heathenish at all. God wants you to think critically, that’s why he gave you the ability to. If he gave you a book to live your life according to, then it stands to reason that he’d want you to find the most accurate meaning of his words, and that means looking past the most superficial interpretation.

But if you are (or the person you’re talking to is) open to the idea that maybe the Bible isn’t meant to be taken literal in its entirety - then it can feel tedious to dissect singular verses. 

In that case, you probably don’t feel the need to dissect other parts either and you just disregard them. For example you look at certain verses containing rules on hygiene or health, and you disregard them because you figure those were written in, and for, wildly different times and they just do not apply to modern life anymore, and you believe that one can be a good Christian while also disregarding those specific verses. 

If that’s you, then an approach that might fit you better would be to look at the bigger picture instead. Treat the Bible like you would any self-help book - look at the overall messages but don’t assume that every single line is applicable to your life or even holds meaning. 

This may seem counterintuitive or even like a “bad” thing to do, especially if you grew up in a taking-the-Bible-literal household, so I’ll give you some potential questions that may help you get into the mindset: 

Which messages are repeated often throughout the Bible? Which messages are repeated in most big religions you know? Which messages would come to your mind first if you were to teach a child about God? Which values or attributes describe God best? 

For me, and for many people, the biggest ones would be “God loves you unconditionally” and “God wants you to love others”. Another important one might be “God created you, and everyone else, because he wanted you to exist”. 

When you identified some big picture core messages, and are open to the idea that the Bible may not be meant to be taken literal in its entirety (for example because it was inspired by the Holy Spirit but written by humans and humans can make mistakes or add their own personal agenda, or also simply because it’s so old and over time some of its original teachings got mistranslated or lost), then you may be able to look at these seemingly hateful verses with new eyes - not seeking to find a more accurate explanation, but rather being able to compare them to those core messages and being able to say “this fits in with the core message” or “this doesn’t fit in with the core message”. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[wordstome]

Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

[000marie198]

I love it how in the movies and shows, it is never explicitly mentioned that Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins but it is shown throughout the franchise in little moments so accurately that when you tell a fan they are cousins, there is zero doubt. Their whole dynamic screams cousins, whether it be them trying to freaking destroy the other in the funniest ways or caring about the other while still throwing around insults.

That aside, what I really wanted to point out is how similar some of their skills are. A proof they are cousins is that they share some very specific talents that most people on Berk don't have, talents that match in almost a familial manner.

You guys all know Hiccup's perks and personality and talents right? Well, lemme point out some of Snotlout's and see how they match his cousin's.

A strange combination of Loyal to a fault and Rebellious to a fault. This perk doesn't just apply on Snotlout, Hiccup is like this too but in his own way. It depends on the situation and person and their mood most importantly. Hiccup would sneak out to hunt for trolls and go into forest or try and train dragons or sneak out to go on flights when he's not supposed to etc. And Snotlout would trust and listen and have his team's and leader's back even if he doesn't seem to like it at points. He cares about his friends so much (seriously, go watch the entirety of the DreamWorks Dragons series)

Inventive and artistic. Snotlout works at the armoury at the beginning of RTTE, he also invented the sheep launcher. He's also pretty good at stitching. And I'm preeeetty sure he's able to forge his own weapons and armor now same as Hiccup.

Amateur writers who're actually pretty good. Hiccup's narrations are always fun to listen to and they also indicate that he has a knack for being a writer. In an episode of RTTE, Snotlout wrote a book that the gang found to be pretty good. And while Hiccup has artistic skills in drawing and painting and sketching, Snotlout is good at designing and aesthetics.

They both have a strange tendency to go and get hit on the head by lightning. Actually, lightning really seems to love these two.

Interestingly enough, Snotlout is also shown to be pretty persuasive and encouraging to others when needed, whether it be giving a scared kid a peptalk or talking some sense into someone who's being reckless and stubborn.

Tendency to plan something extremely reckless and crazy when there's a time crunch and those plans surprisingly work. Yes, both Hiccup and Snotlout do that quite often.

They love dragons! And yes, I'm aware that by now, the whole gang loves dragons but Hiccup loves them even more. He is obsessed with them and wants to keep them safe, he cares about these creatures so so much! While the other riders love their dragons more than anybody else but not as much as Hiccup, Snotlout cares about dragons almost in a similar way to how Hiccup and Valka do. He sings lullabies to baby fireworms and is so gentle with them. In The Eel Effect, he went into Hiccup mode with a terrible terror (just before he shook the poor guy but that besides the point) and was giving a speech to start a dragon revolution because he appreciates these creatures and genuinely believes they should be treated with full respect

That is all to say, even if it isn't directly told in the movie-verse, it is shown throughout that Hiccup and Snotlout are cousins and both even have some traits and talents in common

[oswalish]

rahhhh random rant because i’m angry hater mood i HATE HATE HATE people who think miss goldberg did anything to marvin. saw someone go “set those sails is a villain song and people need to accept miss goldberg is a bad person” i’m screaming and crying and clawing at the walls you don’t fucking understand it you don’t understand the goddamn musical.

in trousers is at its core about misogyny, that is its core theme, which is shown by how marvin hurts the women in his life, specifically his wife, his sweetheart, and miss goldberg. it would conflict the themes and narrative if miss goldberg hurt marvin, as this would diminish what marvin does to the other women. marvin does come up with excuses for his actions/ tries to garner sympathy in the musical (im talking 1979 vers here, i’m not as well versed on the 1985) he is immediately hit with trina shutting him down with her telling us how his actions have hurt her more than they’ve hurt him.

another thing is that the women are mostly not themselves, but rather versions of themselves that exist in marvin’s head. this doesn’t apply to trina, as she is the only woman in the musical who tells her own story. for example, your lips and me and its reprise tell us very specifically events that are happening in her life and how she’s feeling, she also tells her about her past. she also addresses marvin directly in breakfast over sugar.

whereas his sweetheart and miss goldberg do not have songs like this. “my highschool sweetheart” doesn’t tell us anything about his sweetheart other than that she’s his sweetheart, she’s a person, and that she wants marvin to pay attention to her more. but there honestly isn’t much in the musical to confirm that she actually is a person at all, she insists her own existence but marvin never pays attention to her or even addresses her existence, in childhood or adulthood.

miss goldberg is interesting. she doesn’t play into marvin’s fantasy and feels like more of a real person than his sweetheart, having her own personality and opinions. she also sings i am wearing a hat where she seems to tell part of a story that could be her own, though it doesn’t really get more specific than “i’m wearing a hat, i am unloved”. she never quite seems to behave like a schoolteacher either, within the story she seems to be more of a narrator, likely due to her importance in marvin’s story. she is the biggest case of marvin insisting his heterosexually, while also forcing him to realise he is gay. she is not actually herself within the musical, the real miss goldberg is probably nothing like her. this is an internalised version of her than marvin came up with, though it’s more authentic feeling than his sweetheart since her role is to pull marvin out of his fantasies, since she’s probably the only way marvin can actually be honest with himself and recognise his actions.

many people bring up the lines “you might tell me you’re a victim, you might get what you deserve, but i won’t excuse, boy i cant excuse, a boy who’s lost his nerve” which i will admit. do not sound great, incredibly suspicious even. but taken in the context that miss goldberg is not actually saying this to marvin, and actually it’s a version of miss goldberg that marvin has made up to make himself “behave properly” it starts to make sense.

marvin victimises himself a LOT. he’s self aware enough to recognise when he does wrong but tends to refuse to believe that it’s truly his fault, and that he’s the victim somehow. this is pretty obvious in falsettos but it’s also true in in trousers. he sings a lot of songs trying to portray himself as the victim, facing a lot of opposition from the women. this is shown in How Marvin Eats His Breakfast where he is sure that he’s in the right and is the victim because he’s not getting what he wants, and the women in the song directly oppose him by describing all the insane things he’s doing and even insulting him. it’s also shown in The Nausea Before the Game, where he’s lamenting about how his life is so hard, and how trying to live up to societies expectations is nauseating (this is a very simplified analysis of the song, i do actually thing marvin’s feelings in this song are valid but that’s an entirely different conversation). the song transitions into his wife singing about how she met him, how he ghosted her for weeks but then came back. that part of the song is much more tragic than marvin’s, essentially telling the listener that while his feelings are valid, he also seriously hurt and damaged this woman, and that that cannot be forgotten. the musical never ever lets us believe that marvin is the victim, despite his insistence.

and then every pony, is what i think the first line of that quote is referring to. how marvin is convinced that he is the victim, he is telling *himself* that. and the part of himself who knows that isn’t true manifests as miss goldberg to tell him that no, no you aren’t. no matter what marvin says, he will never be the victim, he is the one hurting others.

“you might get what you deserve” is slightly more difficult. i can’t really tell if it’s positive or negative. it could either refer to how he got what he deserved by being in a loveless marriage, or how he got what he deserved by leaving his wife and kids (and bird) to leave with whizzer. personally i think it’s the second, going with how marvin is convinced that he’s the victim, he’s convinced him leaving his wife for whizzer is what he deserves after going through so much. he thinks he deserves something good for once. and like yay bro for breaking out of your forced heterosexuality but did you have to destroy your wife’s entire life in the process? when i say marvin isn’t a victim i do mean in the context of the musical, marvin is very much a victim of society and heteronormativity, but he is NOT a victim of any of the women in the musical, which he likes to pretend he is. it’s easier to blame them than himself.

“but i won’t excuse, boy i can’t excuse, a boy who’s lost his nerve.” much simpler to understand, the miss goldberg inside marvin’s head is very much the voice of outside influence, aka wider society, the one that expects him to conform. she can’t excuse him “loosing his nerve” by deciding to cheat on his wife with a man and run away with said nerve.

anyway i hope this yap session help y’all understand that marvin was never harmed by miss goldberg (nor do i think he did anything to her, other than probably be off putting and creepy like an average 14 year old is) i doubt anyone will see this but i loooooove talking about this stupid musical so ask questions please please please or else i’ll post 5 MILLION of these because i can’t stop thinking about this musical

[crystalreydraws]

Hello hi I just found out you're the artist of my favorite pic of Jamil from all time 🥹 I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO MUUUUCH his bday art from 2020!! It's my favorite one from every art and he looks so pretty and hot and cool and like he's in a music clip and about to drop a fire verse!! I LOVE your painting style so much, as a baby artist, would you one day show us how you color? I'm sure you put so much blood, sweat and tears into your hard work and it would great to get a little bit of that wisdom. Please keep drawing, keep doing what you love because it makes the world a better place to live!

Sketched my sleepy and tired oc to do a very quick demonstration but it covers how I color when i render things:

Start with rough greyscale first, it's a good start to roughly decide light direction and value of your overall work. Especially if you have no idea on your shading.

Next, apply base color to greyscale. I'll use gradient map if I want to keep the details of my greyscale. But if not, I'll just start with a flat base color, and try whatever I can to apply color.

Rendering phase. Add layers and just paint on top to refine it. Merge all layers if it's too messy. Then add layers again. My rendering really depends on how much time taken because it's just a loop of paint over and refining. Thats why i do more simple fanart cuz I sometimes get bored of rendering Also at this stage when doing lineless style, I merge lineart with layers and cover up the lines.

Final touch. Merge all layers and use [filter gallery > paint daubs (brush size 1, sharpness 2)]. It will sharpen your work and look detailed. Or add some very fine noise texture, it will look detailed too.

Another very rough demonstration on how i apply color mood. This will be after step 2. And same will be more refining and even paint over to ensure the colors look ok.

Other tips:

Add warm and cool colors especially on skin.

Use pinterest. Always find more than one reference for a subject if you want to draw better than yesterday. Pure ref is a nice tool to gather reference on your pc. When i draw a single hand I had a lot of ref. (pose, color temperature, lighting, photos, artwork, all diff ref)

Color theory is so important I still struggle a lot. I highly recommend beginners start from practicing Marco Bucci's ball practice. After that slowly change to adding character into movie scene and photographs, the purpose is to adapt different color moods and learn the lighting from the image. Learn more from famous movie and cinematic. They did their best to nail the colors.

Anyway,

this is a long answer about how I color. My previous job influenced me so much on coloring so there's a lot of thinking and struggle on my colors.

So, I suggest you be more experimental and try new ways, at the end what remains is what fits you.

[hearts4jean]

✧°🍒‧｡𖦹°‧💋‧°𖦹 ｡‧ 🍒°✧

- jean - lipstick - aot verse -

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Jean would spoil you a lot like hes the boyfriend/husband ever like how couldn’t he, he loves you too much. Hes aware that you're not very fond of lipstick other than wearing it for specific occasions as you dont believe it looks very flattering on you; but let me tell you this mf has definitely giggled and blushed at the thought of you in a sheer darkish red lip. He would've bought a whole set of lipsticks at Marley while working as a spy, and kept them with him this whole time and promised himself to give it to you if you guys survived. (think those really pretty golden case lipsticks from the 50s shehhrbddh)

His selection process would be merely based off the analogy of: If you kissed him on the cheek, and the lipstick will visibly transfer and really noticeable, it’s perfect. He loves making it known that he is yours and let everyone know that you’ve been kissing him prior (and to also rub in the fact to reiner that hes in a relationship and hes not). He decides to give them to you on the day you were all getting your photos taken for the history books as ambassadors. Initially, you try to turn them down, not because you hate them but because they seem so elegant and seem fit for a person who is much more put together; given the golden casing of the cosmetics and high quality.

Jean insists and sits you down at a nearby stool/arm chair, kneels in front of you and grabs a shade out of the collection he has been longing to see you in. The box of lipsticks have been with him for so long, giving him time to decide which one he thinks you would look best in. He would do the thing where he holds your chin gently and applies said lipstick onto your lips. When the application is complete, he gives you a small smile as you laugh together. When you guys walk in where everyone else is as they have been all waiting for the both of you, attention is instantly drawn to the dark red on Jean’s cheek and dark red stain on his white collar (how did that get there !!)

This observation is self explanatory as the same hue of red was painted on your lips. Connie being the hype man that he is instantly runs up to Jean, slapping him on the back in a joking sense "Jean-Boy's all grown up aren’tcha!”, showing that regardless of the atrocities you all have seen, Connie is still able to keep up at that funny supportive composure alongside Jean.

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[fixaidea]

So here's the thing: I don't usually engage with or care about top/bottom discourse EXCEPT when I think it's funny, sooo...

Let's do some Science and examine Pingxie in a Very Serious Manner.

To do this, first let's take a look at some data gathered from all the danmei novels and shows I know (relevant for calibration you know, since they have actual canon top/bottom dynamics.)

SVSSS

Shen Qingqiu - Since his cause of death wasn't starvation we can assume - well, at least hope - that he can make instant noodles, if nothing else, but he will absolutely avoid having to cook if he can help it.

Luo Binghe - As the Protagonist he of course has to be The Bestest at everything (...except sex, apparently) and it's mentioned that both Bingge and Bingmei use their culinary skills to woo the people they want to sleep with. He's also the top, even though everyone involved would be better off if he wasn't.

MDZS

Lan Wangji - Becomes a pretty decent cook, as per the extras. Prefers to top.

Wei Wuxian - It's not like he's incompetent, he doesn't burn or undercook the food, it's just that his taste is so extreme that his dishes are basically inedible to anyone else.

TGCF

Hua Cheng - No special talent for cooking, but at least he's not actively dangerous. There's no on-page sex scene in the novel, but it's made obvious that he tops.

Xie Lian - Biohazard. Weapons-grade culinary anti-talent. Gastronomy's answer to Vogon poetry.

Golden Stage

Ulike in most of the other novels on the list, food doesn't really have much symbolic meaning and not much is said about either Fu Shen's or Yan Xiaohan's cooking skills, exept for a brief mention of Fu Shen pickling eggs to pass the time. This is a rare couple that canonically switches.

Guardian

Zhao Yunlan - This man considers instant noodles cooked with coffee an okay way to surprise a boyfriend. He really wouldn't mind topping, which he keeps lamenting throughout the book, but he's paired with Shen Wei who might just have the strongest set preference out of everyone on this list.

Shen Wei - Likes to dote on Zhao Yunlan by cooking for him and is genuinely very good at it.

Word of Honor (mind, I have only watched the show here)

Zhou Zishou - Can keep himself alive, but left to his own devices would probably make due with charred-and-yet-undercooked fish or something.

Wen Kexing - A competent cook. While obviously not detailed in the drama I looked it up (or asked someone, I can't remember) and he's the top here.

Erha

Chu Wanning - Perfected exactly one (1) dish, is rather... unfortunate otherwise. You could not pay this man to top.

Mo Ran - Excellent cook. Actually worked in a kitchen at one point in his life, giving and receiving food is basically his main love-language.

Now that we have examined these canon couples and have drawn all the relevant conclusions, let's apply what we learned to our non-danmei, might-as-well-be-canon-but-isn't ship.

Wu Xie - Can cook just fine both in the novel and the drama-verse even if it doesn't come up too often. In the first season he cooks up a pretty decent feast for his friends and in the Yucun books he helps come up with the dishes they would serve in their restaurant.

Zhang Qiling - The entire Thing of this poor sod as a character is that he knows how to survive but not how to live. Taking the time to prepare nice meals or cook anything beyond basic sustenance just... doesn't fit that picture.

So.

I rest my case.

[kit-williams]

Can you imagine yandere Perturabo and yandere Lion?

Yes I can! Trying my best to not let my Perty Bias get the better of me!

Yandere Perturabo might do better with a darling... might be able to stop that man from death spiraling via negative thoughts but that's a big might. Oh he's very particular about his darling (just as equally as Konrad might be now that I think about it) but the poor darling who takes a look at something he made and has that meme moment of "shut up I'm experiencing child like wonder" it then becomes priority number one to grab you. Which really shouldn't be hard... doesn't even have to get his sons to help depending on their station a simple order too but Perturabo is also mischievous (hasn't been in awhile but there are traces of his mischievous personality that he once had before he became really bitter) I can see him also just being some sort of secret admirer if he doesn't feel the need to snatch them up right away. To watch the smile blossom on their face whenever they get a gift or spying them showing it off with glee. He might start leaving hints on who the sudden admirer is... he rather you walk into the pretty little enclosure he's made verses having to throw you in... after all you wear those pretty delicately made iron bangles so nicely he'd hate to have to leash you up to make you stay.

Yandere Lion is as I have always said about him... he is a beast in the shape of a man where Russ is a man in the shape of a beast. Lion would see something or rather in this case someone who tickles something on the inside of him and he would feel that want. What people think he should have verses what he wants are very different... he doesn't want a wilting little thing under him... he wants his pretty little feline under him to also hiss and bite back as he mates... and breeds. Perhaps he figures a one and done might get it out of his system... scratch that itch verses letting it fester and become annoying. Oh but he'll find out you're like catnip and he can't keep you away... no one is telling him that he cannot bite... he cannot mark... no one but himself but those moans under him just only encourage it. Oh yes if he does go for trying you out to get the desire out of his system he will quickly find out that is rather impossible and you just have to accept your fate... Oh yes I still see this applying for both a young 30k Lion as well as a 40k Lion, who feels even less inclined to play the courtly games. But yes... don't worry too much about what's going on and where you're going let him just let you feel good and just worry about bearing him cubs.

(I really couldn't resist with the cat puns) ((I'm so sorry))

@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog @thevoidscreams @barn-anon

[punkeropercyjackson]

Todomomo headcanons❤️‍🩹🍔

❤️‍🩹🍔T4T and autistic4autistic!!!!!!This is the ultimate Todomomo truth,hold onto it in your hearts!

❤️‍🩹🍔Biracial4Biracial too!!Shouto is part bangladeshi on Rei's side and Momo is a blasian latina(dominicana-mexican)and they teach eachother about their cultures

❤️‍🩹🍔Goth gf x Pastel gf,of the punk flavors for both!Dabi radicalized Momo as what started out as a plan to get at Shouto but started to actually love her as found siblings and pseudo-dad and daughter so it stuck

❤️‍🩹🍔Aaaaand both catkin!!They found out through taking quizzes in the middle of the night on Shouto's bed and Momo furiously snacking in nerves with him not minding and make almost all their diy and thrifted junk cat themed,watch cat videos a lot and have soooo many cat memes and cat facts saved as a result!

❤️‍🩹🍔Momo is 6'5 and thick as fuck(buff and fat queen),Shouto is 5'9 forever and her bisexual twunk(*Megan Thee Stallion voice*He love tall women)

❤️‍🩹🍔Their usual dates are cat cafes,boba shops,diy sessions,the arcade,playing Animal crossing,PlayPlaces(non-Mcd.onalds,the Bnha verse version by McHeroes!!),library visits,basement shows,cryptid/ghost hunting and skateboarding and rollerblading!!Momo loves her some burgers and Shouto makes sure her drink is always warm/cold enough for her

❤️‍🩹🍔Momo gets insecure about wearing swimsuits so Shouto hypes her up and calls her hot,pretty,cute,etc with no filter and it embarrasses her so she tells him to shup up but can't help but actually feel better even as she covers her face

❤️‍🩹🍔And she returns the favor when he gets top surgery and is unsure over his new scars,raving about how handsome he is and how she has the 'manliest' boyfriend ever and he shyly tells her to quit it but gets sad when she stops so she keeps going

❤️‍🩹🍔Red velvet food is a Todomomo aesthetic -not necessarily their favorite food but look at red velvet based foods and tell me they aren't Todomomo core.Ya can't!!Dual Kawaii is also Todomomo core but that goes without saying

❤️‍🩹🍔Very much a fluff couple-They cover eachother in kisses but rarely on the lips unless it's just the two of them,hold hands and sit on eachother's laps in public with zero sexual undertones,no filter compliments with zero hesitation,piggy back rides and even rubbing/bonking/snuzzling their heads together like cats

❤️‍🩹🍔Speaking of which,Momo is longer and bigger than Shouto by a significant amount so he makes sure to carry her around and make her feel princess-y as often as possible so her dysphoria and ptsd don't haunt her

❤️‍🩹🍔Shouto lets Momo,Rei and his siblings(including the rest of the Tea Blend Crew)and ONLY Momo,Rei and his siblings(including the rest of the Tea Blend Crew)touch his scar.Momo created an oinment for it and he asks her apply it to him sometimes

❤️‍🩹🍔Momo's usual hairstyle is a butterfly locs ponytail and Shouto's hair is naturally straight and down to his mid-back.Shouto's favorite hairstyles on Momo are afropuffs,twists,dreads and a heart fade she had at one point and Momo convinced Shouto to grow out his hair by telling him she likes it better after he accidentally let it grow past his shoulders(babyboy is down bad LMFAO)

❤️‍🩹🍔After they get together,Momo starts dying her hair split down the middle pink to show Shouto how much she loves that they're the same in so many ways but that he also makes her feel like her own person and Shouto starts wearing his hair in high ponytails because he felt like he was broken before she came along and gave him a piece of herself so that he could feel complete instead of only half and half

❤️‍🩹🍔Shouto is a musician(guitarist)and Momo is an artist.Think those Hobie Brown and Miles Morales fanarts,Punkflower is so Todomomo-coded

❤️‍🩹🍔Chocolate covered strawberries are their signature food.They love both individually too,like Momo's ruby chocolate safe food and Shouto having an 'Kisses from when i'm not here' Hershey's Kiss jar at their place,but they had a chocolate fountain at the restaurant they went to on their first date and they fed eachother the strawberries after dipping them in it that night so it brings up special memories♡

❤️‍🩹🍔'Why does Shouto call you babygirl?' 'Gender validation'(Momo is so bbg,Shouto is so real for that /platonic).Momo in turn calls Shouto 'Kit Cat' and 'Gatitito' and he calls her 'Beloved' but in bengali

❤️‍🩹🍔They research their special interests and infodump together and find goods of them for eachother,as well as making extra personalized versions of merch

❤️‍🩹🍔They also watch preschooler/elementary school/middle school shows and movies and do facepaint,eat stuff like cat shaped grilled cheese sandwitches and strawberry milk,draw with chalk during after school hours,do matching kandi,Momo frequently wears overalls and Shouto frequently wears skull shapped goggles,etc.Kidcore love!!

❤️‍🩹🍔Momo is what allowed Dabi and Shouto to repair their relathionship.He mentored Momo so he hangs out with them all the time and is a reliable older figure in their lives way more than Endeavour and the Yaoyorozu parents ever were and also helped them figure out how to get together and date properly thanks to his own slowburn experience with Jin

❤️‍🩹🍔Specifics:He'll chaperone them at punk shows so they know what they're doing,he also provides advice on how to be vigilantes,he has zero fucks to give about 'keeping up his image' so he participates in some of the kiddy stuff they do as bonding and he's trans autistic himself so he helped them on transitioning with diy'd hrt and steals shit for them as gifts too

❤️‍🩹🍔And people/the media in-universe try to add him as a pedo cishet bullshit love triangle thing so the three of them worked together into scaring them into never doing it again

❤️‍🩹🍔Also if Todomomo is chocolate covered strawberries,Shouto,Momo and Dabi is cotton candy with oreo pieces(iykyk)

❤️‍🩹🍔Dabi's given chronic pain meds made by Momo with her quirk too!!

❤️‍🩹🍔Shouto has a special interest in lost media and Momo loves it too but perfers niche femme things like Shopkins

❤️‍🩹🍔Todomomo piercings:Angel bites,septum and industrial(Shouto)and spider bite,studed ears and belly button ring(Momo)

❤️‍🩹🍔And if i said they're Ghibli romantics?Both the dynamic + They're huge Studio Ghibli fans

❤️‍🩹🍔Please imagine Shouto and Momo in the Family Guy death pose after having their first energy drinks combos Grimace Shake memes style

❤️‍🩹🍔Their MLP ship counterpart is Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie(Red-coded redeemed teenage dirtbag x Pink-coded sunshine fluffball with reality warping)

❤️‍🩹🍔They're huge Mcr fans.Not That Kind of Girl and To The End are Todomomo anthems and they have Killjoysonas they ship together!!

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

You remember that AF episode where Ben pretends to be evil (Above and Beyond)? What would happen if he pulled that with the HoMies?

It lives rent free in my head, anon. It was one of the better episodes in my opinion, because it showcases Ben in a different and much more favorable light!

Ooof, okay, it might not be the light-hearted 'haha ye he probably did and it would be epic/hilarious' answer you expect, but bear with me im trying to think of like in-verse situation here and honestly? I don't think it's gonna go over very well. There is potential that everyone can get very hurt?? And not just physically but emotionally.

You see I'm pretty sure almost all of the HoM-ies (going off my faulty memory here, sorry in advance if its wrong), at some point or another faced off someone who have turned sides from good to bad (or even themselves). So, all of them got kinda burned in that sense.

I'm not saying that they all automatically assume/believe that Ben really went Darkside, but they would certainly not dismiss the possiblity of it happening. I mean, they are those kind of people that would believe in the best of people/fellow heroes/misguided friends until the very end, but prior experience would mean that they also will take those sort of threat seriously.

And you know, to put such a doubt in a friend and teammate is terrible and upsetting imho. Because, you see in A&B ep. it was a controlled training exercise/graduation exam with people Ben sorta knows but is not exactly close with, and that setting kind of doesn't apply to HoMies?? So it would be either an incredibly mean-spirited prank or like a plot point to, I dunno, trick a villain into thinking Ben betrayed HoMies?? Very different end results here depending on a scenario lol.

But either way, if Ben does do something like that, I believe that he could be just as terrifyingly efficient in 'attacking' others, by playing their weaknesses and using his aliens smartly. Because we all know that there is a part of him that is like that, (terrifyingly smart and a bit mean i mean), however small it is and usually buried under his honest desire to be a hero and a good guy.

However if he does that, there is a much bigger chance that others would hit back. And hit hard. Because HoMies are not just plumber rookies in a training exercise, but experienced heroes and they know him just as well as he knows them. And remember that little fact about a lot of them being burned about people going dark side? Yeah, that means that they would feel very motivated to contain a friend who has possibly gone bad, if only to stop try and get him to see sense.

So I can see it escalating to a degree of serious injuries, because, well, Ben is versatile and strong, but going against all 8 of others, some of who match him, would be a very hard fight (certainly not like toying with rookies lol). I mean, he could separate them and fight mano-a-mano but it still would be a lot.

And like, oof, the emotional part of it is what getting to me in my head. Like, there could be a number of different scenarious where a situation like this could happen, but my mind stubbornly goes to 'mean prank' and 'for sake of mission'. In case of second one, others could be in on it from the start and/or they are not but figure out that Ben is doing it for a reason and they would understand, even if it may upset them he didnt trust them to help from the start.

(and in the end of that someone would absolutely joke, how terrifying of a bad guy Ben would make lol)

But, boy, in case of the first, Ben could burn some bridges and hurt others. Because, a prank like that with fellow heroes who experienced that sort of betrayal before??? like OOOF im getting sad just imagining it. ;(

but BUT!!!!! You know this ask gave me a much better happier idea???

Ben asking HoMies to help him do the same sort of training excersice/graduation exam for earth based plumbers, by playing the role of the bad guys with him!!!!!

God just imagine, all the bonding with Ben and others, 'fighting' against poor terrified rookies who are suddenly faced with a previously protector of Earth Robot XJ-9 turned bad, or a ghastly apparition from outer space that kinda looks like that ghost menace from Amity, or some weird robot guy with Big Fucking Sword and a freaking dragon???

All the shennanigans!!! And those poor rookies that graduate will have such weird freaking stories to tell other outer space cadets lol.

[livwritesstuff]

Angsty question- feel free to ignore if you want.

Historically, dads yelling has always been a very not-good sound. Especially to girls.

What happened the first time Steve or Eddie (or both) yelled? Not even at the girls; it could’ve been a heated argument they were having.

How old were the girls? What did they do? How did Steve and Eddie feel? What did they do?

oooh okay i definitely took my time mulling over this one bc i wanna make sure i’m getting my wording right

(and reading this back i’m realizing i kind of don’t really answer your actual question hope that’s okay lol)

I think a really important facet of this is that (in this ‘verse) Steve is a licensed and practicing trauma counselor. Not only does he know how harmful (and counter-productive) yelling can be, he also knows all sorts of other methods for communication that are just better.

It’s not that the girls don’t ever piss him off or do stupid shit and get in trouble – he just knows way more effective ways to get them to realize oh shit, I fucked up than by yelling at them.

(I think if anything, he could be a stress-yeller, but by the time he and Eddie start fostering kids, he’s been through so much shit that he doesn’t really ever hit that stress threshold anymore).

And then, I think with Eddie, he’s still as dramatic as ever even in middle-aged adulthood, and I think he gets loud about things pretty much regardless of the emotion behind it, so the girls aren’t super phased by it if/when he does get loud from a place of anger or frustration. I also feel like Eddie tends to defer to Steve when it comes to the heavier parts of parenthood, precisely because he knows that Steve is coming at it from a place of clinical expertise in a way that he himself isn’t. Steve isn’t a yeller, so neither is Eddie. Maybe if Steve had been more inclined to yell, Eddie would be too.

Same thing applies with Steve and Eddie’s communication with each other – they don’t really get into screaming matches over shit, but when they do argue or have disagreements or conflict or whatever, they get mean, and I think this is where there could be some problems. 

Like, they can throw some serious barbs at each other when they want to (and they’ve known each other for a long time so they’ve got plenty of ammo), and when the girls are little, it’s easy to forget in the heat of the moment that they actually can understand what their dads are saying.

Hence why, a few hours after an argument (about nothing – they were just both in pissy moods at the same time, and with Hazel not even five months old yet they’re not really getting much sleep which doesn’t help things at all), Steve finds three-year-old Robbie crying in her room, and when he asks her what’s wrong, she whimpers, “Moe said you and Daddy are gonna get a divorce.”

And, fuck, Moe is only six, and Steve didn’t know that she even knew what divorce was (though it’s possible he and Eddie had gossiped a little too close to the sun about one of their neighbors’ divorce earlier that same week, so maybe that one's on them), and the notion that her brain had been able to make that connection from the things she'd heard earlier had Steve feeling like the worst guy on the planet.

Then, when they sat down with the older two girls to make sure they knew that everything was fine and no one was getting divorced, it only got worse because Moe started repeating back to them the shitty things they had said to each other, and there’s a special kind of shame in hearing word-for-word the vitriol he’d directed at Eddie – who he loves; no argument could ever change that – coming out of his kindergartener’s mouth.

Yeah, so anyways, I don’t really think yelling would necessarily be an issue with them, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some real flaws in their communication that stick with the girls.

[vorenado-m]

happy disability pride month! please consider helping me take back my life as a disabled person!

the TL;DR is that for the last 3 months i have had an absolutely soul-sucking miserable minimum wage retail job that, due to the way scheduling works (and the app being broken as fuck) has prevented me from having access to literally any of the life-saving mental health/medical care i need as a disabled person.

my disability is best managed through a combination of medication, therapy, and casework-- not a single one of which i have had since march! :) contextually, up until i got this job, i took three daily medications and had casework once a week and therapy once or sometimes twice a week. these services are offered at an affordable cost to me through a local organization that is threatening to close my case due to lack of participation.

ill make another, more detailed post later with some of the services i can offer for money (i draw! i code! i write!) but until then here is a code you can scan if you have a few dollars to spare:

there are more details beneath the cut (idk about you guys but im kinda nosy so i wrote some more stuff in case anyone else is also nosy) but thats the gist of it. you can also always ask for details. i dont have a therapist right now so it might feel good to say things.

my plan is as follows: i would like to take the month of july more or less "off" from work to get my affairs in order, starting with scheduling appointments for therapy and casework and getting back on my meds. i am actively looking for a job, but i would like the ability to be somewhat picky instead of applying everywhere i think might have me for the sake of having money coming in to pay rent.

for the last two years i have made less than $800/mo and i can survive on roughly $600-$650 a month. my july rent ($550) is paid and my august rent (at least $500) is most likely also squared away, through a combination of some cash i was hoarding, a previous donation, my last expected paychecks from my current job, and my brother generously offering to cover whatever is left over. the extra $100ish is for roughly a months supply of the food that is part of my daily routine that i get cranky without (i have tea every morning, for instance.)

i have a fantastic roommate who is not struggling as much financially who will do everything in her power to make sure i have access to staple foods (rice, eggs, etc) so i really just need to buy the things only i consume (kimchi, milk, etc.) there is a food bank i go to, so i am not worried about food, but i can only go to it once per month. we have a barter system where i trade her the things i dont want from the food bank and she buys me things i will eat; alternatively, i sometimes give her things i get from the food bank (eg meat) that she turns into meals for both of us.

i live independently/"alone" with roommates and do not have support from my family pretty much at all. they have never been particularly useful for emotional support and have openly denied me financial support since i was a teenager. moving in with them/getting help from them/talking to them is not an option.

i have emailed my caseworker at the mental health organization i work with as well as my caseworker with the disability vocational program i work with to help me find a new job that is "back of house" and requires less customer interaction. i did this over the weekend, so i expect to hear back from them sometime this week. in the meantime, i am searching for jobs on my own in places like indeed, jobhat, careerbuilder, etc. as well as checking company websites of places like chain grocery stores to see what is available in my area.

my job pool is a bit limited due to the fact that i cannot drive (due to both my disability and the medication im supposed to be taking for it) but i am very well-versed at taking the bus, which is free. getting to and from work is not a concern for me; it is being able to do the job without being driven to the edge of a mental breakdown that is the problem.

the disability vocational program is my ticket out of poverty! last month i had a follow-up evaluation (i had to call out of work for it, but frankly i was at the end of my rope then too) where they approved my career goals as a web developer and we are in the process of deciding what my next steps are! the program will likely (depending on what route i take) help pay for vocational training, too, but i obviously have to pay rent while in training. which i think i can do if i have a job that doesnt make me want to die.

i have some other things that make my life a bit harder (im mixed race, i am nonbinary + gay, etc) but i would say those things dont really impact my ability to get a job as much as the disability does LOL which is why i did not feature them prominently in this post. like, the reason i cant get a job isnt because people dont want to hire me because i have blue hair and pronouns, its because im obviously disabled.

if you have any other questions, no matter how intrusive you think they might be, feel free to send a DM or an ask, and i will try to answer.