#applebees chat this is for all of you

[skoulsons]

Heart Swollen With My Loving For You

Some tlou2 spoilers fyi. I also wrote this in both canons but that’s typical of me

Her head is heavy against his chest, the thump-thump of his beating heart filling her ear. Her mouth was open as she laid against him, deep breaths escaping her sleeping state.

He hasn’t held her in three and a half years. She wasn’t letting him get close to her; he was like another clicker chasing her off of unstable scaffolding, this time after the heart she opened so willingly for him.

He was trying to save her; to protect their relationship. He knew she wouldn’t understand the choice he made; but it wasn’t even a choice. He loves her, and that’s all it was. Love. There wasn’t a choice to be made. From the second he woke up on that stretcher without her, the Fireflies fate was set in stone.

She’s snuggled up next to him, her body half draped across his. Her left leg is thrown over his as her left arm is haphazardly laid across his chest.

The choice cost him. His most important relationship in twenty years was torn, a veil beyond repair. A burned bridge. Branches previously grafted together were sawed apart. One shove was all it took. The physical pain in his chest from being shoved away; his hand batted away from her shoulder when he tried to comfort her. His touch was always welcomed, needed from her, and then she was refusing it. Don’t fucking touch me. The look in her eyes drilled a hole through his heart, blood from their now estrangement pouring out into his chest cavity. He couldn’t breathe, his chest constricting to try and make up for the loss of her. Three years prior, she was what filled that empty cavity that Sarah left in him. But in that clearing outside Saint Mary’s, a new empty cavity, for a new daughter, was formed.

His left arm is around her small form, softly coating her back in gentle circles and patterns. His right arm is on his stomach, Joel gingerly tracing the tip of his fingers along her forearm.

He rode at a distance on their way home from the hospital, cautiously watching her ride ahead of him. Her shoulders were slumped, posture depressed; Ellie completely barren of him from her life now. He watched her as she occasionally brought a hand to her face to wipe her tears away or to cover her face in an attempt to hide her sniffling or small sobs. He couldn’t do anything about it and, somehow, that chest pain from her shoving him away was minimal in comparison to the way it was suffocating him now; Joel unable to take in a full breath their entire ride home knowing he was the reason.

Her head is right over his heart, rising and falling with Joel’s chest as he draws in full, sufficient breaths.

He was so patient. Never poking, prodding, or pushing her to talk or interact. She was adamant in keeping her distance, and he let her, as much as it broke his heart. They were inseparable, attached at the hip through their day-to-day life. At home, she always had a reason to be close to him. Hand holding, back rubs, or extra hugs during mundane tasks. She’d cling to his arm, her hands wrapped around his bicep as he read a book. He’d kiss her head more than normal, some a little more serious than others if he knew she needed those unspoken words that always seemed to be heard through a kiss to her temple.

He brought his left hand from her back to her hair, smoothing it down her neck and back. He carded his fingers through her strands from her scalp to her ends, gently tearing through any tangles that were building up.

He brushed her hair on the harder days, the both of them sitting on Joel’s bed as he brushed through the tangles that built up over the weekend. When she didn’t have the strength to take care of herself, he always did everything he could. Getting her hair brushed by him was cathartic, calming the swirling storm of thoughts in her head in a matter of minutes. He was always gentle, apologizing if her hair was ever pulled too hard. Brushing her hair always ended in a hug and an occasional thank you from Ellie; and it was never just for brushing her hair.

He tilted his head to her, his nose burying in her hair as his mouth grazed the crown of her head.

There was one day they were snowed in, Ellie refusing to leave his side or his field of view. Joel offered to brush her hair again, just to give her that relief she relished in on the harder days. After refusing that offer, he asked to braid it. Ellie accepted that time, the both of them sitting on Joel’s bed so he could work. Her body was tilted to the side, her right leg bent as her knee was propped up on his sheets as her left was steady on the ground. He was behind her in a similar position, Ellie sitting against the shin of his right leg. He brushed her hair a few times over to prep it for the braiding, smiling at the way she always relaxed with the small action. All done, baby. She leaned back against his chest, her head falling right under his chin. Joel brought his arms up and crossed them across her chest, holding her tight against him. He placed his cheek against her temple as Ellie held onto his wrists across her chest. He kissed her temple, rocking them slowly back and forth on his bed.

Joel breathes in, the lavender scent of her hair making him smile against her hair.

She was safe. Her hair was clean; she was clean. She was eating and sleeping again. That sparkle in her eye that he sweared only glowed a bit brighter whenever she talked about space was back. She was eating again, too. She was sleeping and working at the stables again. There was a way that she used to walk that seemed to fade for those two years that was back now. Joel realized, now, she started to walk like him during their journey. She was in so much pain she changed the way she walked.

Ellie adjusted slightly against him, readjusting the arm on his chest into a fist resting against him. He grabbed her hand on his chest with his right, carefully opening her fist to hold her fingers in his. He wiggled his fingers into her grip, hers lightly draped over his.

She was here, his little girl against his chest in the dark of the night. A leg over his leg and her arm on his chest, hand in his. His left arm was around her back, gentle patterns being drawn through his her shirt. The thump-thump of his heart filling her ear, the comforting song keeping her nightmares far away, buried under the weight of his proof of life.

He was so damn grateful.

He rubbed his calloused thumb back and forth over her knuckles as he brought it up to his chin, lightly kissing her knuckles.

She shook awake at the contact, her fingers tightening around his as she lifted her head from his chest, eyes adjusting to the moonlight streaming in.

“��S just me, baby,” he soothed, rubbing a few more strokes down her back as he lifted his neck off the pillow so she could see him.

She exhaled, nodding. She turned her head to him, a questionable look on her face, sleep coating her voice. “Have you slept? Like… at all?”

He chuckled, his voice in a gruff whisper. “A little bit earlier. Been awake for a while now,” he confirmed as he brushed his thumb over her knuckles again.

“C’mon, old man, you need some sleep. We have plans tomorrow.” He grinned, eyebrows rising briefly at the backhanded endearment she loved to call him.

He caught her eyes in the moonlight seeping through the curtains pulled loosely in front of his windows. The same eyes that stared right through him that day were the same ones looking at him now. That day, her eyes were full of tears, a few dripping to the collar of her shirt. He saw and felt every ounce of her gaze. Anger, disbelief, betrayal. All of those emotions twisting into some sort of emotional corkscrew, digging into his heart and turning every which way before being forcefully pulled out; a new cavity created in the depths of his heart just from the way she looked at him. We’re done.

And then there was this moment. Those same dark brown irises looking at him again. Looking up at him from being tucked against his side, the white of her sclera highlighted from the moonlight coating his room. Her eyes searched his, that all-too-familiar sparkle in her eye as she watched him, and she wasn’t even talking about space. But she didn’t have to talk about space for that sparkle to make itself known. We’re like a… binary star. She was looking at the person bound to her. She was looking at the person who, after years of being in an irregular orbit with, was back in their pull, orbiting even stronger than before.

Now, there was trust, faith, and love in her gaze.

He dropped his head back against his pillow, breaking from his thoughts. “Oh, that’s right. Guitar strings?”

“Mhm. And maybe some more picks if we happen to find some.” She laid her head back against his chest, adjusting herself so her ear was right over his heart again. The study thump-thump slowly lulling her to sleep again.

“Absolutely, kiddo,” he said, bringing her knuckles up to his chin again, kissing them twice. He adjusted his head against hers, mouth pressed into the crown of her again, kissing the mess of her strands that had bunched up from her adjusting.

“G’night, Joel,” she mumbled, a sigh escaping her lips as she settled her weight onto him completely.

The hand behind her back pulled her closer into him, rubbing a few heavy strokes up and down her spine. “Goodnight, baby,” he whispered.

It’s overwhelming to him, really. She’s his. He’s hers. He gets to keep her. After years of doubts if she’ll come back home to him and if she’ll ever be able to talk to him again, she was here. The days he spent thinking back to them leaning over his porch and what they told each other. I would like to try. I’d like that.

They were seeing the effect of that now. How she tried and succeeded and how he waited for her, over the moon that she was even willing to come back. She was willing to push through and to try and reconcile with him. And whether she did it or not didn’t change anything. He would’ve waited until the ends of the earth. He would’ve waited until time itself stopped. He would’ve waited til every star lost its place in the sky, falling into the void of space. He would’ve waited until his last breath.

But he didn’t have to wait anymore.

I did okay. She’s home safe. I have her again.

[fitgirlfemdom]

This fictional story is a continuation of this story which is a continuation of THIS story.

This fictional story is 18+ and contains: public humiliation?, femdom, weight teasing, overstim, mommy kink, gentle dom, and a happy ending <3

"Logan, we got your favorite."

He glanced up from the couch, surrounded by his nest of empty red Solo cups, soda bottles, empty bags of chips, and empty plates. He had his laptop in front of him, with the newest MMORPG he'd been grinding on for two weeks now. Logan heaved himself up, pulling his glasses from his face and running his fingers through his fluffy locks of hair. He felt half-asleep.

"We also brought your favorite," Cole said from the kitchen.

Logan walked in, wiping at his eyes with the palms of his chubby hands. "What's that supposed to--?"

In walked Anna and Cassie, chatting about something or other. A few other girls and guys emerged, all of them being Cole's friends from work or school. The second Cassie's eyes landed on him, he felt a deep shiver run down his spine. Immediately, he felt his face grow hot. The last time he saw her was when he... accidentally came inside her. She was on the pill, but nonetheless, she was rightfully pissed.

On the kitchen table were bags of food from a local burger place. He watched as Cole pulled out his chicken sandwich with a small helping of fries. He watched as Anna brought out her little dainty salad with chicken strips. He stared dejectedly at the large bag in front of his chair.

Some of Cole's friends said hello, and some just gave him passing glances. He felt underdressed in his tank top and sweatpants.

"Cassie, you remember Logan, right? You guys met?" Cole asked, cluelessly. Logan could feel the girl's eyes on his skin. He couldn't take his eyes off the bag. The last thing he wanted to do was pull out all the food he was planning on eating. It was like some sort of humiliation ritual.

"Oh, I remember," Cassie said low. "I actually was planning on talking to you, Logan--if you had a second."

"Uh..." This couldn't be good. Was it a crime to finish inside someone if they said not to? Was she gonna press charges? Was she gonna kill him? Did he actually fuck up that bad? He couldn't help but stammer, "U-Um, yeah... Sure..."

She beckoned him down the hallway as both Anna and Cole exchanged confused glances.

His heart dropped when they went towards the bathroom, and it sunk further when she closed the door behind them.

"You're gonna make it up to me," was the first thing out of her mouth.

"In, um... In what way?" Logan stuttered, watching as she pulled out a small cylindrical device from her purse. "Is that...?"

"A bullet vibrator."

He held his hands up. "You are not putting that up my ass."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so fucking stupid." She pulled out a few hair ties as well. "I'm gonna strap this to your dick. I can control it from my phone." Without warning, she yanked down his sweatpants, revealing his free cock. He must've forgotten to put on boxers. She smirked. "The vibe might be too big, come to think of it..."

"M-My dick's not that small." He made for it to sound firm and defiant. It did not.

She knelt down and fastened the small, purple device to his cock, jacking it a few times to get it semi-hard. The hair ties were tight and pretty uncomfortable. Seeing her on her knees immediately did the trick--If she'd glanced up at him, he might've leaked.

She stepped back, admiring her work, as she yanked up his sweatpants. His face was bright red. "We're gonna have a nice dinner now," Cassie cooed, her voice domineering and low. "And you're gonna try your best not to embarrass yourself."

"But--"

"I was planning on inviting you three out to dinner," she said, turning to open the bathroom door. "Y'know, so I could see your face when you cum down your leg in an Applebee's, or something."

"Oh, but--"

She cut him off, saying over her shoulder as they walked down the hallway, "You should thank me, though, for being so kind."

He muttered out a stagnant, "...Thank you," as they reemerged in the kitchen, with Cassie as neutral as ever and Logan so red, the other two must've noticed.

What'd happened to him? He would never let a girl ever disrespect him like this before. He used to slap girls in bed, making them call him Daddy as he spat in their mouths. He wasn't a sadist by any means, but he thought that's what guys did. He actually could remember when he made the switch.

It was the summer after high school, when he was still deciding if he was going to go to college, despite losing the scholarship. He met this cute girl at a coffee spot, and they really hit it off. It wasn't until that night, when he really thought he bagged another bitch, that she saw his dick, and audibly laughed. She told him to put it away and drive her home, laughing the whole way.

He realized he was a muscular, handsome, over 6-foot, charismatic guy who looked like he should be on the cover of a magazine, but it felt like it didn't matter. Once he finally let himself go completely, he just kept telling himself that even if he lost all the weight, took care of himself, and got himself back on his feet, self-respecting girls would just laugh at him, and he couldn't take that. Internet girls wouldn't. Internet girls didn't care if he lived or died.

He pulled out the two double-cheeseburgers and large serving of fries from his bag, as well as the chicken tenders and vanilla milkshake. Suddenly, he felt sick, and uncomfortable, and unconfident. As he went to take the first bite of his burger, that feeling changed.

Suddenly, he felt very, very turned-on, and it must've been from the vibe on his crotch.

As Cole talked about his stocks and investments to the others at the table, Logan couldn't help but choke back a moan. The vibe was right up against the most sensitive part of his body, right up against his cockhead, and with the base of it snug against his balls. It was distracting. He glanced over to Cassie, who was smiling at her phone. He watched her drag her thumb upward, and at that moment, the vibrator intensified.

"Fuck," Logan breathed out, taking another bite. He had to pretend it wasn't that, that it wasn't happening. If he just didn't focus on it, it'd be gone, and no one would think he was a total pervert. It'd be one thing if it was just Cole and Anna, but with all these unfamiliar faces, he felt like he couldn't breathe. He almost wished Cassie just pressed charges, or pushed him off a cliff. "Ah, fuck..."

"Something wrong, Lo?" Cole asked, plucking a fry. "Oh yeah, guys--This is Logan. He's a friend from high school. He's our roommate."

He thought he'd slipped by the awkward introductions, but there he was, smiling at the other people at the table, pretending his cock wasn't twitching against his sweatpants.

"I'm fine, just..." He shook his head, trying to laugh it off. "Just got this throbbing headache."

"Throbbing, huh?" Cassie asked, still staring at her phone. She was really messing with the settings, setting the vibrations to a dull murmur before hiking them up to the highest possible option. "You're probably just hungry."

Nobody noticed, but she definitely meant it as some sort of diss. He was the heaviest one at the table, by far, and he had the biggest order. He couldn't lie, though. Being horny did make him hungry, and he couldn't understand why.

As the conversation drifted to someone else, Logan went back to eating his burger. It was pretty good. He was a frequent customer at this place, much to his waistline's dismay. He really hoped everyone else hadn't noticed how much he was moaning while eating. At one point, when he was finishing his tenders, his eyes rolled up into the back of his head. He really hoped no one noticed that.

His cock twitched. He was uncertain if he was going to make it through this meal without shooting ropes down his chubby thighs. He must've been making a scene--A few of the girls he didn't know at the table were snickering amongst themselves.

"Are you okay, Logan?" one of them--a particularly pretty, blonde one--asked. She was smirking behind her hand. They must've known something incredibly humiliating was happening. Maybe they could hear the vibrator. Maybe it was because he was sweating like a horny pig. Maybe it was because his nipples were so prominent against his stained tank top. Maybe, maybe, maybe--He was losing his mind.

He knew Cassie would be pissed, but he didn't care. He rose to his feet and left, unannounced, to the bathroom. He had to get this stupid vibrator off, before--

He made it halfway down the hallway before he fell to his knees. He bit on his wrist to stifle a moan as he came, with the streams of cum seemingly never-ending. It must've been twenty seconds before it was over, as the vibe continued to torture him. The front of his sweatpants, and bottom of his gut, were stained and sopping wet. When he opened his eyes, he saw Cassie staring down at him.

"You lasted a lot longer than I thought you would," she said flatly. He slowly rose to his feet, using the wall as support. He felt so sensitive, so vulnerable, and the vibe just kept stimulating him, on and on. He was still leaking.

"Cassie, I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that the other day," he breathed out. He couldn't look her in the eye. "I... You were just so pretty, and I..."

"You just had to blatantly overstep my boundaries?"

"No, that's not--" He watched as she raised the intensity on her phone. "Fuckin' hell--Turn it off."

"I don't like your attitude." She pushed him down the hallway, and with the vibrator so strong against his cock, he couldn't put up much of a fight.

They were back in the bathroom again.

He fell to his knees on the tiled floor as she locked the door. Every muscle in his body was contracting. His head was pounding. He started gripping at his waistband. "That's it--I... I can't--"

"You disobeyed me." She crossed her arms over his full chest.

"I... I did," he admitted, tears stinging his eyes. "I'm sorry. It just... You said you'd punish me if I did it, and it..." Her arms lowered. "I... Fuck it, I like being punished by girls like you."

She was silent, and her expression was completely neutral. "...What?" she asked at last, lowering the intensity of the vibe.

Logan covered his face. "I like getting talked down to. I like being humiliated. I like getting slapped around by pretty girls. It turns me on. And... And I just figured, y'know, whatever you'd do to me... It couldn't make my life any worse."

She was silent. He didn't know what could possibly be going through her head until she knelt down in front of him on the floor. They were level to one-another. She pulled down his sweatpants and unstrapped the vibe, throwing it off to the side.

"You're probably right about that," she sighed, finally making eye contact. "Your life is pretty shitty." Cassie looked askance. "Maybe I should go a little easier on you." She met his eyes. "Against the sink."

"What?"

"Lean against the sink, facing the mirror."

He did as he was told, standing to see his gross self in the reflection. She was so much shorter than him, and so much more petite, but he watched as she forced him down to bend over the counter, taking his cock in her hand as she jerked him off. She leaned against his back.

"You're still so hard," she cooed, stroking him softly and slowly. He bit his lip as he stared down the drain. "I want you to cum again. Can you do that for me?"

"Y-Yes..." he breathed out. This dynamic was new to him. He'd never even treated a girl like this, much less be on the receiving end.

"Just focus on me stroking you." He couldn't help but whine. "Focus on me milking you dry. Focus on my soft hands."

"O-Okay..."

"Everyone's outside, eating dinner," she whispered sweetly, "And you're in here, being a good boy for Mommy."

There was that word again. It made his stomach flip.

"Aw, sweetie..." She wiped at his lip with her other hand. "You're drooling."

"It just... It feels good, I'm sorry," he breathed out.

"That’s okay, baby… Does it feel that good?”

“Y-Yes, it does.” He could feel his small cock twitch in her grip.

“Imagine if it was my cunt wrapped around you," she whispered. His breath hitched. "Imagine rutting your little cock into something warm."

"Ah, fuck." Her hand was so tight, and his dick was already slick from the amount of times he'd leaked already.

"Do you think you could make me cum from your cock?" she mewled, gripping the base of his jaw with her free hand. She wasn't choking him, but it made him tighten up nonetheless. "Or is it too small? Am I just gonna have to use your face?"

"I could... uh..." he groaned out. It was hard to think. He couldn't keep his eyes open for too long, mainly because he hated to see his reflection. “It’s too small, I’m sorry.”

"You are good at head... Must be all the eating you do." She was stroking him faster, holding up his gut with her other hand. He was so sensitive there. "And you're so stupid... So brainless... You'd be happy to suck my clit all day. It's not like you work or anything."

"I wanna suck on your clit," he admitted pathetically, his voice barely over a dull whimper.

"Shh... I wanna feel you cum in my hand first." She was stroking faster, and his breaths were growing more rapid. "Then you can suck off Mommy, when you're nice and empty."

“I wanna suck you off…”

“Hear how pathetic and embarrassing you sound,” she breathed out. “It’s making Mommy so wet.”

He still couldn't get over how much that word turned him on. He could look introspectively into his own personal mommy issues, but that would definitely fuck up his vibe. He'd much rather feel his cock melt in her hand as he shot ropes into the sink, moaning out so loud that Cassie had to wrap her hand around his mouth.

"Shh… Good boy... Cum for Mommy," she cooed, her engorged chest right up against his back. He could feel every inch of himself shaking as he finished leaking, his breath rapid and his heart beating out of his chest. “Mm… You made such a mess.”

“Fuck… Cole’s gonna give me so much shit for this la—“ He was cut off by Cassie kissing him from the side, taking his lips against her own. It surprised Logan, but he slowly melted into her embrace, taking the sweetness of her lip gloss. It was long, and breathy, and a bit awkward because of their height difference, but he was glad she milked him dry before. It felt so deep, he probably would’ve cum again.

“I wanna do that again sometime,” she whispered, staring up at him with big brown eyes.

"I really wanna make that happen." He was panting. He couldn’t look her in the eye. “I… I wanna make you cum. I wanna do something for you.”

“How about you come home with me tonight? Make it up to me?” she cooed. Then she turned to the door. “Come on—Our food’s getting cold.”

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[tarotofbadkitties]

how do you interpret patrick & tashi’s scene when they are cuddling in the back of the car? Maybe it was a directorial choice but it kind of bothers me how O’Connor’s face goes through so many different emotions while Zendaya’s remains completely flat. like when patrick says “I miss watching you play tashi, you were so beautiful” and you don’t see any pain on tashi’s face or a stutter in her hand movements, or any acknowledgment at all. and how do you read her saying “what else could i want?” I’m used to reading the character’s body language and facial expressions when they say things to better understand how they feel, but with tashi there was just blankness and her voice was monotonous.

It was careless for Patrick to say that to her. I can't imagine someone telling me how beautiful I was before the catastrophic accident I suffered doing a thing I loved that I can never do again. I think Tashi is emotionally wrung out and a bit dissociated at that point; thus the flat affect and the fact she's just physically clinging to his body for comfort. "What else could I want?" was Tashi just being out of it. They had a lot on their plates emotionally with the match in the morning, the draining interactions both of them had had with Art that evening, and just the upheaval of reconnecting after all this time at all. If she was still emotionally present in that moment, I think she would have still turned down the wonderful chance to have a chat about the most painful event in her life (physically and emotionally) naked in the back seat of his car.

Earlier that evening, Art also took the opportunity to try to talk about Tashi's doomed career as a tennis player, and how that mixes into their relationship. He says he's playing for both of them, and "because you can't play for yourself anymore" is unspoken, but they both know what he's saying. She doesn't respond to that either. Further back with Art, this comes up in Applebee's. She was more willing to have an actual conversation with Art about it in that moment. That tells me it's less about that being a verboten subject, and more about the present time being a lot more stressful, and that stress making her guarded. Art says that he thinks about her injury and wonders if things would have been different had he won the Junior Open ie been her boyfriend at the time. She's visibly upset, and asks him if he's asking her to be his coach because he feels sorry for her. Had he not clarified that he was asking her because he actually believes she can help him, it's safe to say she would have told him to fuck off.

I think all three of them have trauma around Tashi's accident and the dissolution of their relationship that ensued. It's unsettling to both men that they feel like they can't atone because she won't actually acknowledge this trauma, or any lingering resentment. The story Tashi tells herself is that the end of her career and her investment in Art's career are two separate things. She also tells herself the story that her drama with Patrick has nothing to do with blaming him for that; she yells at him for everything else in the world but that in this film. She also subtly changes the subject when Art suggests Patrick was the cause of her accident. I think Tashi needs someone to tell her it's okay to admit she has resentment towards them over that accident, but she loves them anyway.

[etherrreal]

“creep(er) into my heart”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff, friends to lovers Summary: two gamers walk into a fancy restaurant and it goes as well as you’d think. WC: 4,220 Warnings: N/A A/N: This is part 2 of “would you be mine(craft)?” with an even cornier title. You can probably read this without reading the first, but maybe read it for context? (also, i joke that applebee’s sucks but their “bourbon street chicken and shrimp” lives rent free in my head everyday) -Luna

Dates are meant to be anxiety-inducing, whether it’s a stomach full of butterflies or ruthless tornadoes.

So, it’s an odd feeling to be so calm and collected during the days leading up to a big date, especially one with Kenma. You assume it’s because the stakes are so low, knowing that if the spark isn’t there, you’ll still see him on Minecraft, probably that same night, to help with his iron golem farming idea like nothing ever happened. 

What’s even weirder is that both of you have continued to not discuss the date at all since he asked you the weekend before. You don’t know if it’s because it’ll be awkward to break the ice of the discussion or if he’s procrastinating figuring out the plans for that night, but you both continue to play games and watch anime together during the week without even grazing the topic.

If it wasn't for the Google Calendar invite reminding you 48 hours before Saturday that your date was in fact coming up, you would still believe that him asking you out was something you happened to imagine during your post-date funk.

Thankfully, come Thursday evening, not long after you get the notification, he sends you a text letting you know that he’ll be taking you to a restaurant in the city. It’s one you’ve passed several times before, which is how you know, without having to check their Instagram tags, that it’s a semi-formal, if not fully formal, dress code and dining experience. It’s an abnormal choice for Kenma to willingly select a place where he’d have to wear anything that buttons, let alone a full suit, so you have to imagine that the place must have glowing reviews for him to settle on it.

Now all you have to do is find a whole entire formal outfit with only two days’ notice and minimal time after work to shop. No biggie.

But you manage to do it in time—although barely since you had to rally together the group chat to help—and by the time Saturday comes, you’re actually feeling a bit of nerves start to pool in your stomach as you’re getting ready for the night. Although it all dissipates when you get a series of texts from Kenma, minutes apart, realizing that he may be experiencing the same kind of jitters that you’re feeling. 

‘I dont know how to tie a fucking tie, time to cancel the date’ ‘This is harder than finishing Dark Souls’ ‘I got it, but Kuroo made fun of me and is a terrible teacher and now my feelings are hurt’

You zoom through getting ready, and with about 30-ish minutes until your 7PM reservation, the 25-minute Uber ride leaves you with just enough time to be early. And you’re given quite the shock when you step out of the car and you already see Kenma in front of the restaurant, head hung low as he scrolls through his phone. As you get closer, you notice he cleans up nicely in his smart black suit with his hair pulled back into a bun except for a few face-framing pieces. You make sure to call his name to get his attention, his head snapping up when he hears your voice.

“Wooow, look at you, Mr. Snazzy,” you comment, reaching up to straighten his tie. “I’ve never seen you so gussied up before. Must be quite the date for you to dust off your one and only suit.”

“I have a second suit,” he says defensively. “It’s gray because Kuroo says that’s a better color to wear for the daytime.”

“When did Kuroo become your fashion stylist?”

“When my publicist politely said that I looked like a scrub in all my other clothes during meetings.”

“...She never said anything about your hair, though?”

Kenma glares at you, definitely offended by the implication that his excessively grown out roots are unprofessional, to which you offer a small smile, hoping that he knows you meant it with love. 

“Let’s just go inside before I get insulted again tonight.” 

He pulls the door open for you—like the gentleman that he pretends to be—and steps up to greet the host before you can say anything.

“Hello, I have a reservation for 7PM. Kozume.”

Normally, you’d joke about him finally being able to speak to a server by himself, seeing as he still has to hype himself up sometimes before asking for extra ketchup when you’re eating out. You remember there being a time when he ordered marinara sauce with his cheesy bread from Domino’s and when it wasn’t included, he was fully prepared to leave and eat his bread dry to avoid talking to anyone. You ended up having to take the receipt up to the cashier and fixing the mistake so you didn’t have to see him somberly eating his sauceless bread.

The jokes slip your mind, however, as you take in the decor of the place. A few chandeliers hang from the high ceiling, sparkling under the low light from the sconces on the wall. Each table is decorated with a crisp white tablecloth and set with dark green trimmed plates, long-stem wine glasses, and folded cloth napkins around a simple floral centerpiece.

You’re observing the attire of the guests, feeling a bit underdressed, but also overdressed considering how effortless and chic most of the outfits are. The meals they’re eating look especially small, probably only a few bites on the giant plates. It’s a place definitely out of your comfort zone, one that you’d think would be nice to attend, but probably never would because it’s so bougie and you’d feel out of place.

Kenma’s hand on your lower back startles you out of your thoughts, and suddenly, you’re being guided toward the middle of the restaurant, a server in front of you to lead the way.

The server pulls out your chairs, providing menus and telling you that he’ll be back when you’re ready to order. Polite smiles and thanks are given as you settle in, draping your coats over the backs of your chairs and picking up the menus.

If you thought you felt out of place when you walked in, you’re definitely feeling it now. You scan the menu, trying not to look too stressed when you see the prices and can’t recognize or even read the foreign names of certain dishes, but from what you can read, nothing is sparking joy. You’re trying to get a read on Kenma, glancing up to see if he’s also having trouble picking something from the menu or if he’s confident about what to order, but his stoic face gives nothing away.

In an attempt to put out some feelers, you clear your throat before saying, “I’m not really sure what to pick. How about you? See anything you like?”

“I’m still looking, but nothing so far,” he responds, trailing off at the end as he watches a server bring some morsels of food plated on a bowl of rocks to the table next to you. It’s only then that can catch his eye and in them, you’re seeing the same feeling of bewilderment and unease from being in this setting. But it’s gone in a second, back to his normal flat expression.

But you definitely saw it, so now that you know the feeling’s mutual, you feel less bad about feeling it yourself. You let a few moments pass, with the menu held in front of your face, high enough that only your eyes peek out from over the top before you let out a suggestion.

“....You know we passed by a Domino’s on the way here, and now all I can think about are their wings.”

Kenma nearly slams the menu onto the table, eyes wide and ravenous for some food. “I want some of their cheesy bread so bad.”

“Wanna make a run for it?” You’re trying to be low-key when looking around for anyone that could be watching, gently setting the menu down and grabbing the collar of your coat, looking back to Kenma for confirmation. He’s already shoved one arm into the sleeve of his blazer and is scooting back his chair to stand, making sure to give you a nod so you know that it’s go time.

You’re not as graceful as Kenma is in your escape, nearly spilling someone’s drink while putting on your coat on the way out. You pick up your pace, ignoring Kenma’s glance and snickers. He reaches the door first, holding it open for you while you finally get your coat on. There’s a beat while you stand there before you both burst into giggles, nearly keeling over with laughter and tears in your eyes.

Finally, standing up straight after a few minutes, you gesture behind you. “Ready to go get a gourmet meal?” 

With an excited nod from Kenma, you walk side by side down the streets. You use the time to clown him for not knowing how to tie a tie, even suggesting that you’ll gift him a clip-on for future uses so he doesn’t hurt his little gamer hands trying to tie a knot. 

To which he responds with, “And I’ll light your Minecraft house on fire using my little gamer hands if you don’t shut up.”

Suddenly, you’re silent.

The Domino’s is a bit farther than it seemed while in the car, but eventually, you see the glowing blue and red symbol high up on the square building, rushing ahead to rip open the door so you can quickly usher Kenma inside and order as soon as possible.

Too much money later, you’re skipping out of Domino’s, wings and cheesy bread secured along with other impromptu boxes of goodies to take home. You’re both waiting at the corner while you pull open the Google Maps app to figure out the best place to catch a cab when you notice a spot nearby that piques your interest. 

“Did you know there’s an arcade around the corner?!” you nearly scream, shoving your phone in his face to show him Google Maps. 

“No, I didn’t know that,” he says, moving your phone at least a few inches away from his face. “Want to go there?”

“Won’t our food get cold though?”

“That’s what microwaves are for. Duh,” he jokes, grabbing your hand to guide you down the block to the illuminated storefront. You run in like children, making a beeline to the token machine. You begin reaching for your wallet when Kenma lets go of your hand, shoving your wallet away and aggressively pulling out money from his own.

You stare down at your palm in the meantime, feeling little tingles spread throughout it, flexing your fingers and no doubt looking like a weirdo.

Kenma has done his fair share of dragging you away from places, usually when you're glued to the glass window of a store that has anime knick-knacks you want but have absolutely no damn space for, but usually he just grabs your elbow or wrist. You could be overthinking it, but he must've grabbed your hand on purpose. Or you're just that desperate for physical affection. 

He shoves a handful of tokens into your open palm, putting his own into his pockets. The arcade suddenly feels so overwhelming, with lights and noises all around you. Should you try the crane games first? Or maybe some skee-ball? You could probably dominate him in that…

“Want to start with some air hockey?” Kenma suggests, pointing over to a free table in the corner. 

Yes. Air hockey. An easy win start. “Oh hell yeah, let’s do that.”

You shouldn’t have been so confident. It’s not turning out in your favor, not in the slightest, and you should’ve guessed that, going up against a guy who was the brain of his volleyball team. In your defense, you did win the first game, rubbing it in Kenma’s face and doing a dance like a sore winner. Then he absolutely demolished you for the next three rounds and had the gall to be humble about it like he didn’t just embarrass you in front of the many elementary school kids around you.

You would’ve kept going, being stubborn as hell and telling Kenma, “Best 5 out of 6?” until you got into double digits. But suddenly he has to “go use the bathroom,” which sounds like an excuse to you.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go too far,” he warns you.

And, to be fair, you don’t go too far. You only walk about twenty feet away to the anime crane game that’s hiding behind a row of other crane games that would be blocking Kenma’s view to you if he comes back the same way he left. He has a phone that he could use to text you if he really can’t find you. 

It’ll be fiiiine, you think as you slide in a token and get ready to win the anime figure. 

The time passes quickly, not that you notice it. All you know is that you’ve gone through maybe half of your tokens while trying to get the figure to fall between the two bars, only asking the staff to help you reposition once because you managed to mess it up that bad. 

It’s funny to think that you were more worried about sticking out like a sore thumb at the fancy restaurant than you are now at the arcade, surrounded by people of all ages in sneakers and jeans while you stand there at the claw machine in dress clothes with your nose nearly against the glass. Maybe they’ll think you’re an important business person coming by to decompress after a very long, busy day at work. 

Then you squawk when you finally score the prize after only several more dollars worth of coins, and the facade promptly sails out the window.

It’s only after you have the box in your arms that you decide to check the time, realizing you’ve spent at least ten minutes straight playing. What’s weirder is that Kenma still hasn’t returned yet, and you have no messages or missed calls from him asking where you’re at, which means he's either still in the bathroom–and if that’s the case, you’re deeply worried for his bowels–or he got distracted on his way back from it. 

You’re almost at the bathrooms when you see Kenma walking towards you from the corner of your eye, definitely not coming from the bathroom as you’d expect. 

“Where were you? I thought you said you had to go to the bathroom.” You notice he’s holding an overstuffed plastic bag. “What did you get? When the hell did you even have time? Or are you just that lucky?”

“Oh. This is, uh..” Suddenly, he’s sheepish, opening the plastic bag where you can see something fuzzy and pink in it. “I didn’t actually need to go to the bathroom. I saw a Kirby plush in a crane machine when we walked in and knew I had to get it for you.” 

Before you could even say anything, he’s pulling out the plush and you notice it’s not just a regular Kirby, but one with a chef hat and pan. You make grabby hands at it until he hands it over, trying to hold it just with one hand and squishing it against your chest and face. 

“I love him so much! Thank you, Kenma.” 

Like a lot of things tonight, it’s different from your normal friendly interactions. Instead of your usual hugs where you go in at a diagonal or the lazier times when it’s just a side hug, your arms are now wrapped around his neck with his around your waist. It feels weird. A good weird. Like you’re feeling the subtle change from friendship to something a little more. It’s hard not to get your hopes up because although you’ve told yourself that you’ll be good with being ‘just friends,’ throughout the night, you find yourself quite hopeful for the chance to explore something romantic with Kenma. 

You part slowly, him shoving Kirby back into the bag and insisting on holding it for you after you reach for it, which you suppose you could allow since he’s been such a gentleman tonight. 

“Great minds think alike because I got you a gift, too,” you announce, handing over the box you worked so hard for. “I don’t remember her name, but I know you have a few that look like her in your room, so what’s one more to add to your waifu collection.”

“Thanks for the gift, and also, for saying that so loud. I’m sure the whole arcade liked hearing about how much of a weeb I am.” He gives you a smile, somehow managing to stuff the box into the already full bag. “Want to spend the rest of our tokens then head to mine? I only have a few more.”

You pull your sad six out of your pocket. “Yeah, me too. That crane game wasn’t kind to me.”

You have a blast with the remaining tokens, staying away from crane games and sticking more to the classics. You learn that Kenma’s strategic thinking in volleyball does not translate over to basketball when you watch him miss every single basket of the game except for his last one in which he threw the ball against the back wall in frustration and landed right in the net.

Even when ordering the Uber minutes later, he still has a frown etched on his face from losing, and as much as you want to rub it in his face that now he’s feeling like you were after air hockey, you leave him to sit in his feelings. 

It’s a silent ride, at least on the outside. Internally, you’re an anxious, overthinking mess with your inner thoughts going a mile a minute. You spend the whole ride back to his place wondering if it’d be too forward of you to hold his hand that’s sitting on the seat between you two. It’s not like he didn’t hold your hand earlier tonight, even if it was only to drag you toward the arcade. Once you finally convince yourself that it’d be okay to try, the ride is over and his hand slips away to open the car door and you sigh as you lose your chance to be brave. 

When you’re home, Kenma’s tie and shirt undone and your dress shoes thrown haphazardly by the door, you finally get to discuss your thoughts on the restaurant. About how stuffy it felt in your formal clothes and how ridiculous the plating looked for the meals because you didn’t know what they’d even be able to taste with a portion size that small. Kenma even thanks you for breaking the ice by bringing up Domino’s because if you never did it “you’d still be in that restaurant having your 12th course of the meal.”

You swallow your bite and take a quick sip of your drink. “Why did you even choose that restaurant in the first place? Doesn’t feel like a place you’d be at.”

Kenma shrugs, brushing off the crumbs from his hands. “I don’t know… I guess I didn’t want our first date to be just like any other night we’d had. I wanted it to stand out from the rest so you can know that I’m serious about you.”

Your heart just about bursts hearing his gentle voice say that. “That’s… So sweet. I don’t know what to say to that besides thank you. Never knew you could be so charming.”

“Don’t expect it too often,” he jokes, to which you respond with an elbow to his ribs. “I know today didn’t go as expected, so maybe we can try again with a different restaurant.” 

“Maybe—and this is me just spitballing here—we should work our way up to the formal dress restaurants by starting with something simple like… Applebee’s.”

“I feel like Applebee’s is somehow a worse starting point than a place like McDonald’s.”

“Fiiiine. Since you have so much to say, then you pick where we’re eating for our next date. Just make sure I can get away with wearing sneakers and jeans, is all I’m saying.”

“Who said we were actually going on a second date? I don’t know if I want to date someone who eats wings like a toddler.” He reaches over with a napkin to wipe the corners of your mouth which you begrudgingly allow.

“Well, I don’t know if I want to date someone who waits until 48 fucking hours before the date to tell me that I have to put together a whole formal outfit for a restaurant.” Kenma looks away abruptly, but not before you see his shameless smirk. “Why the hell did you even take so long?” 

“I had to use some connections to get a reservation there within the week, and they didn’t get back to me until Thursday, so you knew when I knew!” 

“Hm… okay. I’ll let that one slide then. For now.” 

“So, I can get a second date?” 

“If you insist.”

Kenma puts what’s left of your food in his fridge with the promise of leftovers tomorrow. You help him tidy up a bit, taking your sweet time because it’s finally dawned on you that the date will be ending soon. You’re hit with a wave of disappointment, realizing just how much you enjoyed his company all day. And maybe it’s silly, but you don’t want it to end just yet.

When you’ve thrown away the last napkin, you slide in next to him in the kitchen, bumping shoulders with him before hooking your arm with his. “Wanna finish watching that anime you showed me? The one with the long title?”

He lets out an amused chuckle. “Glad you enjoyed it so much that you remember the name, but sure.”

He lets you guide him to the couch by his arm, plopping yourselves down on it while he grabs his remote to pick the show from his ‘continue watching’ section.

Halfway through the episode, you scooch even closer to Kenma so you can lean on him, your head gently resting on his shoulder to test the waters. He lifts his arm up to grasp you tighter, fingers trailing up and down your upper arm without looking away from the screen. You peer up at him to see a little smile on his face—hoping it’s because of your current position and not because of the atrocities happening on the screen. You’re rarely this close to Kenma. The closest you get to him on the daily is him leaning over you to fix some computer issues or you peering over his shoulder to watch him play on his Switch. 

You’ve never paid attention to his warm amber scent mixed with something floral, probably from his conditioner he told you he overpaid for because he thought it was on sale. How plush his hoodie is and how you’re definitely going to be “borrowing” it as a partner tax in the future. Or how the ends of his hair that’s tickling your face are really soft, no doubt because of that expensive conditioner, and you fight the urge to play with a few pieces. You could get used to being with him if this is what you’d be getting every day.

You manage to last another episode and a half before his soft touch lulls you to sleep, a smile mirroring his on your face.

You have a funny dream that night; you and Kenma are at an Applebee’s, both dressed in your grubbiest hoodies and sweats, while the subpar food sits untouched in front of you. He’s holding one of your hands on the table, stroking his thumb back and forth on the back of yours, the other hand keeping his head propped. You’re telling a story, laughing and waving your free hand around as you delve deep into it. To everybody else, you’re sure Kenma looks bored out of his mind, probably waiting for you to stop talking or at least get to the good part. But you know him better than that.

You can see the affection in his eyes as he doesn’t break eye contact with you, humming in acknowledgment wherever necessary so you know he’s actually listening. He’s squeezing your hand every now and again just because he can. His phone is face down on the far end of the table, most likely on ‘Do Not Disturb’ because you don’t hear a single vibration against the table. 

You’ve got his complete and undivided attention until he decides to get off his seat to lean over the table. You quiet down immediately, unsure of what the hell he’s going to do until he tilts his head and gently kisses you on your lips, lasting only a second before promptly sitting down and telling you to continue your story as if nothing happened. 

Non-dream Kenma would never do something so bold in public. At least, you don’t think so. 

But, goddammit, even if it means writing a script and playing director, you’re going to try your fucking hardest to make sure it happens exactly like your dream during your second date.

Written by: Luna

we’ve got a taglist if you’re interested 👀

[infinite-tournament]

The Rules

This is a winner-stays-on tournament, so don't expect any brackets. Every week (or whenever the mod remembers), a new contender will be put up against the current champion (which will be listed in the blog's description). If it wins, it becomes the new champion! If not, then the old champion remains until something beats it. In the case of a tie, the contender failing to beat the champion will be counted as a loss, and the champion will move on. There is no set end date for the tournament, and it is intended to continue indefinitely.

Submissions can be sent in here. Submissions sent to the ask box will not be counted. There is space to add propaganda and media if you wish to. There are no restrictions on what can be submitted. The next contender will be randomly selected from the current pool of submissions, though repeat contenders will have to wait a few weeks before they can re-challenge again.

Note: Submissions are put into polls unedited, and thus may include errors.

Previous contenders below the cut

sleep (The Beginning, Champion For 1 Week) Homestar runner from homestar runner (Lost Poll) the color purple (Champion For 3 Weeks) Chat Noir (from Miraculous Ladybug) (Lost Poll) alex eagleston/eggleston from yiik a postmodern rpg (Lost Poll) duck (Champion For 2 Weeks) vanilla extract (lost poll) Garlic bread (Champion For 1 Week) autism (Champion For 15 Weeks) Reigen Arakata from Mob Psycho 100 (Lost Poll) Infinity-Sided Die (Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons (Gravity Falls)) (Lost Poll) Gay sex (Lost Poll) sage green (Lost Poll) Timothy Stoker (The Magnus Archives) (Lost Poll) The Amazing Devil (band) (Lost Poll) The hit 2011 video game Minecraft (Lost Poll) Ford Prefect (hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) (Lost Poll) Tom Scott (Lost Poll) The SD (super deformed) Gunpla line (Lost Poll) Heathcliff (Lost Poll) shitposts (Lost Poll) Sans Undertale (Lost Poll) Dire Crowley from twisted wonderland (Lost Poll) asexuality (Champion For 4 Weeks) Lord of the Rings (Lost Poll) bears in trees (band) (Lost Poll) piplup (pokemon) (Lost Poll) aromanticism (Champion For 2 Weeks) Raz from Psychonauts (Lost Poll) Clouds (Champion For 3 Weeks) RYAN GOSLING (Lost Poll) Mike Walters (Woe.Begone) (Lost Poll) lava lamp (Champion For 3 Weeks) Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Lost Poll) @helinedmightbehere (tumblr blog) (Lost Poll) Hatsune Miku (Champion For 6 Weeks) Toffoli gate (Lost Poll) The time knife (Lost Poll) Pokémon Colosseum (Lost Poll) Communism (Lost Poll) The letter A (Lost Poll) dust motes in a sunbeam (Champion For 3 Weeks) Monster Energy drinks (Lost Poll) The onceler/The Onceler fandom (Lost Poll) Bread products (All of them) (Champion For 13 Weeks) Abed Nadir (Lost Poll) Leafcutter Ant (the animal) (Lost Poll) maroon (Lost Poll) haunted five dollar Applebee's gift card (Lost Poll) Palindromes (Lost Poll) genderqueer (Lost Poll) undertale (Lost Poll) Jamilla Gardner (Woe.Begone) (Lost Poll) drizzile (pokemon) (Lost Poll) The Goonies (Lost Poll) The Dragonriders of Pern series (Lost Poll) nurse Gerard Way (Lost Poll) Palestine (Champion For 5 Weeks) Pansexuality (Lost Poll) the concept of time (Lost Poll) Princess Celestia (Lost Poll) @​HalimedeMF (twitter) (Lost Poll)

[gogglemouse]

"This Vote Is Legally Binding"

"Someone always says it, whenever it comes up: 'I guess I'm just no allowed to talk to anyone anymore!' Well. Yes. It is my duty to inform you that we took a vote all us women and determined that you are not allowed to talk to anyone ever again. This vote is legally binding. Yes, of course, all women know each other, the way you always suspected. (Incidentally, so do Canadians. I'm just throwing that out.) We went the into the women's room at the Applebee's on the corner of 54 and all the others streamed in through the doors into that endless liminal space, a chain of humans stretching backward heavy skulled Neaderthal women laughing with New York socialites, Lucille Ball hand in hand with Taung child. We sat around in the couches in the women's room (I know you've always been suspicious of those couches) and chatted with each other in the secret female language that you always knew existed. Somebody set up a console-- the Empress Wu is ruthless at Mario Kart and Cleopatra never learned to lose and a woman who ruled an empire that fell when the Sea People came and left no trace can use the blue shell like a surgical instrument. Eventually we took the vote. You had three defenders: your grandmother and your first-grade teacher and an Albanian nun who believes the best of everybody. Your mom abstained. It was duly recorded in the secret notebooks that have been kept under the couch in the Applebee's since the beginning of recorded time. And then we went back to playing Mario Kart and Hoelun took off her bra and we didn't think about you again except that I had to carry this message. So anyway good luck with that it's just as you always said it was. Hush now, no talking, hush." -T. Kingfisher, Jackalope Wives

[rustbeltjessie]

You Might Be An Xennial If...

you don't even (whatever whatever what-ever) care that you'll never recover from the recession

Empire Records was your favorite film & like, who needs a job with a decent paycheck & benefits when you can be a tattooed gum-chewing freak forever?

damn the man!

you remember dial-up modems, AOL chat rooms, web page guestbooks

you ever made mix tapes (& later made the transition to mix CDs but some long nights you long for those days spent pressing record & play.)

you grew up playing Oregon Trail & part of you can't help but think your demise will arrive like death did in that game, driving an 8bit Conestoga, telling you: you have died of cholera, you have died of dysentery.

you have died of exhaustion.

no one wants to claim you once you were a Gen-Xer but they kicked you out & you know you're not a Millenial cuz, like, you still use soap & napkins & drink beer, & go to Applebee's once or twice a year.

New Kids on the Block was your boy band & you came of age during the heyday of third-wave ska, learned to skank at summer camp after a few sweaty rounds of spin-the-bottle & from them on got sorta turned on every time you heard

pick it up! pick it up! pick it up!

you wonder at the ways of the younger generations, so many of them eschew sex & cars, but back in your day, there was no greater insult than you're a virgin who can't drive

you heard a lot of whispered innuendo when Clinton was prez, adults snickering about what happened under that table when they thought you weren't listening like you didn't know what a blowjob was? like you'd never been asked

spit or swallow?

you gave your first blowjob at twelve bestowed the back of your throat to an older boy hoping he'd splatter his coolness back onto you; twelve was the age you developed a taste for several oral fixations—cocks & tongues, joints & cigarettes

you had a lot of firsts at twelve, like, that was the year you wrote your first zine, the year you first tried suicide, yeah there were enough things making you feel so shitty you wanted to die, even when you were twelve

the year punk broke (your heart)

you were too young to see most of the cool '90s bands live, but old enough to be devastated when their lead singers killed themselves or o.d.'d—you had your first cigarette the day Kurt died, stood huddled in mourning

outside your school with all the other weirdos with their black clothes & nicotine haloes, someone passed a cigarette to you & you smoked it while a boy you knew bloodied his knuckles on the brick wall while muttering fuck you fuck you fuck you & the world was ending

Y2K was your armageddon, you were eighteen, so full of whitehot fury you wanted to see the world all burning skies & shattering glass, but nothing happened so you shot up & passed out in your boyfriend's bed

the world has been ending ever since you were born, & you spent so many years trying to end your life in both direct & oblique ways, you never thought you'd live past twenty-one, & maybe what really defines your generation

is that self-destructive impulse, cuz your heroes were suicidal rockstars & you grew up aware of chemical warfare & species extinction & your own downward mobility & your older siblings raised you on the gospel of Gen X slackerdom, so, like, whenever an adult asked what you were going to do with your lives you responded in unison

planning for the future? ugh, as if!

—Jessie Lynn McMains, from forget the fuck away from me (Bone & Ink Press, 2019)

[trollartistry]

Big dumb vent here under read more because Twitter doesn't allow big posts

It hasn't even been 6 months since I moved to the UK to be with my husband and while yes, being with my husband and being in a country with much healthier food, public transport, proper gun control etc has been wonderful to live; I feel so fucking lonely.

I miss my American friends. I miss having those dumbasses just randomly showing up and barging into my house and distracting me from commission work. I miss us just going "yknow what lets go run around WalMart and laugh at shitty toys" or "I'm hungry you want applebees?"

On top of that, timezones suck ass. The friends I used to chat with a lot online are now so quiet and I can't tell if we're genuinely bad at keeping up communication, that time zones are being that much of a problem, or they've decided to quietly drop me because I moved.

I don't mind being a stay at home husband, but if I do house work, no commission work gets done. If I get commission work done, no house work gets done. And god forbid I do neither and decide to play games or relax- because then NOTHING gets done. My husband has a full time job with very terrible hours for him and its made him depressed along with his narcissistic parents, and I try so hard to be the positive beacon but its been so very hard since the 2nd month of being here.

I love my husband with all my heart, and I don't regret moving to the UK.

Just when he's not home, I'm so fucking alone.

[livingfandomly]

I’m currently on SPN S9. You know what that means???? It means that I can finally start watching their interviews and conventions and comic cons and I AM. I really REALLY am. It’s insane how much of a family this fandom feels when they (J2M - hahahhahaha look at me knowing these terms and fully understanding and loving them lol I love this fandom sm sm) are just sitting on a stage and chatting with everyone. And it’s literally because of how they address the fans and it’s really unique because other shows’s cast members are rarely this invested in the characters they play.

The best part is the realisation that Jared is literally a golden retriever ALL THE DAMN TIME and that Jensen is always just done with him 😭. His lil forehead slam into the microphone when Jared starts going off topic is the funniest thing EVER. That man is so tall and so hyperactive and so annoying on purpose and it’s amazing.

The next best part is realising that Jensen. Can. Fucking. Sing. And not in a “acceptable” way but in a way that makes the Applebee’s jingle sound like a proper song sung by a man with a voice that makes your whole bussy quake. PLUS. He’s always essentially babysitting Jar and it’s so fucking adorable. Whenever they’re both on stage together the dynamic is literally golden retriever and a what-the-fuck-do-I-do-with-his-hyperactive-mess cat.

Now. Misha. He is the dad that never even realised that he adopted two chaotic messes. Whenever he joins the stage he either just sits their judging the shit out of them and looking at the audience like “yes, this is what I have dealt with since the beginning… welcome to my pain”. OR. He and Jen become the super disappointed parents of JarPad as he runs around the stage destroying everything he can while being as distracting as possible.

They’re all so fucking funny. I’m literally always, every single video, just laughing with tears in my eyes. The comedy. The puns. The dad jokes. The stories. The fan interactions. Everything is pure gold. At the same time, they’re so deep and caring of the people they talk to and the show they’re on. It’s just all very hugs-myself-because-they’re-not-around-to-hug-me.

The best part is how much they care about each other though. And obviously involved they are in each others life outside of the show. Sigh… Honestly…. I love this fandom.

[fansie-on-a-mission]

Newsies x D20

I just finished watching D20's Fantasy High Junior Year and I am Feeling all the emotions, so I was inspired to make this collection matching up some of the Newsies with the bad kids! I apologize cause this is hella niche content, but oh well!

1) Racetrack Higgins as Figueroth Faeth - Both are a little wild and impulsive, and can always be found getting into weird shit. They like to act tough, but they are a bit of an open book when it comes to their emotions

2) Davey as Gorgug Thistlespring - At first they both seem sweet and a little shy, and are often underestimated, but trust that they can be hella snarky and WILL fuck you up without hesitation if you mess with their friends

3) Katherine Plumber as Adaine Abernant - Both are insanely intelligent but could fuck you up without lifting a finger. Both are apart of the fucked up parents gang, but they always fight back!

4) Spot Conlon as Riz Gukgak - Both are small but deadly (and a little feral). They are both very coordinated and organized, and take pride in their respective work. Plus, I'd like to think they both have a softer side as well

5) Jack Kelly as Fabian Aramais Seacaster - Both are very proud (and a little arrogant at times), but they also use this at times to hide their own insecurities. Both are strong artists with stronger hearts.

6) Crutchie as Kristen Applebees - Both are loud, a little quirky, but very loyal to their friends/family. Had a rough upbringing, but they still manage to be the sunshine friend of the group!

Anyway, if you made it all the way to the end, let me know what your thoughts are. Plus, I'm always down to discuss newsies/D20, so DM me to chat more as well!

[neverthelesshex]

"Muse" Jschaltt x reader (Collage AU) prt1

No smut in this part sorry

Female reader sorry boys

........

You wake up to your alarm, ugh the typical repeating, exhausting, and repeating day starts you put on some white cargo pants, with a brown lacey cami top since it was mid summer, you throw on some Mary Jane's grab your satchel bag sling it on your shoulder and start to go to your class, on your way you grab a coffee and continue your walk to your first class.

You sit down next to ted, taking a sip of your coffee

"Hey y/n what are you up too" he hums writing down some stuff from his flim class notes

"Trying to wake up and survive another day. I have like three exams today!" You whine throwing your head back running your hands through your hair

"Man I don't have any exams till next week, you need to relax a bit" he smiled

"I wish but I need to study this weekend so my schedule is packed" you huff

"Dude, you don't always have to study" he rolls his eyes

"YES I do, you just don't understand I need to pass this collage shit" I cry

"I'm passing all my classes, And I party on weekends you'll live I promise-" he sighs

"I hate parties..." you stare blankly at him

"Then come to a baseball game with me this week my friend jschaltts playing" he taunts with a hint of begging in his voice

"Fine" you agree

*time skip*

It's Saturday you did a majority of your studying Friday, and now you're in front of your closet trying to figure out what to wear out, you decided on a white tank top and some black cargo shorts with some converse.

You walk out of your campus dorm and start to walk to your collages baseball arena and start walking up the stairs seeing ted a mid way up,

You go and sit next to him "so which ones jschaltt" you question

"Number 69 with the mutton chops" he points

You nod and see him. The game begins with jschaltt at the home plate with his bat he hits it left field getting to first base with ease going to half point between the bases before getting go second and sliding being safe. The next batter Is up hits it right field and jschaltt gets to home sliding a cloud of clay red dust filling the air

"SAFE" the umpire yells, I softly clap as ted is screaming his lungs out.

The rest of the game goes by and jschaltts team "the Chicago rams" win with 25-10

We walk down near the dugout to see jschaltt

He walks out with his baseball bag on his back

"Hey buddy!" Jschlatt booms

"Jschaltt!!!" He side hugs jschlatt

"This your new girlfriend" jschlatt hums nodding his head towards me

"Nah this is my childhood friend y/n" he laughs

"Well hi y/n I'm jschlatt how are you" you shake his hand shyly

"I'm doing good, good job at your game though" you smile

"Thanks y/n!, now guys let go eat I'm starving" he groans

You and Ted nod getting into his car and driving to Applebee's

Ted sits with jschaltt and you sit alone in a booth he you guys order your drinks and start to talk

"So y/n what are you majoring in?" Jschlatf asks tilting his head slightly while taking a sip of his drink

"Art, more specifically visual art and fine arts ted is my model for when I have to do certain projects" you ramble

"She draws really good, so I'm happy to be her muse" he laughs

"You should show me some one day" he smiles "I love art but baseball is my calling!" He bluffs

You guys get your food and chat more and eat before you guys leave jschlatf gives you his number

"Call me up if you ever need a muse" he smiles at you

You get at your dorm again changing into pajamas and flopping down into your bed

'Today was amazing' you smile to yourself before going to sleep.

[candy-man91]

RWatHT - Chapter 19: Preparing for Battle

Just a mere three days after the random medical examination, Ron felt himself becoming less anxious. It was the first day of June, and even though Ron was still preparing for his O.W.L.s, the Tournament, and making sure to keep his prefect duties up to the standard, his friends seemed to lighten the weight on his shoulders. As he ate breakfast alongside Harry, and Ginny the founders stood up to give the Great Hall an announcement.

“Everyone,” Hufflepuff said excitedly. “We have an announcement to make. One we are sure you will like.”

“Some of them,” Slytherin mumbled so only Gryffindor heard, the red-headed wizard stifled a small laugh.

“In anticipation of the Tournament we have prepared the Hogwarts Ball for all of you!” Hufflepuff announced. “A special opportunity for all of the houses to socialise and connect further, and for your Champions to enjoy a moment of rest as the Tournament quickly approaches every day. Students from all houses Year 4 and forth, will be able to attend. As well, any Year 3 students who are personally invited by a student attending the ball.”

The hall was mixed with different reactions. Some fourth years who had been unable to go to the Yule Ball looked excited, like Colin Creevey who jumped in his seat looking around perhaps for a possible date. Others looked simply happy for the opportunity, Cedric was smiling at Tamsin Applebee who seemed to blush. Others looked worried, perhaps for what they were going to wear, who they were going to take, or how they were going to look by the time of the event. Neville was one of them as he looked desperately at Ginny, his date for the Yule Ball last year, who instead chatted with Katie Bell excitedly.

“The Ball shall take place the 14th of June,” Ravenclaw announced. “Five days before the Hogwarts Tournament, so be prepared. Champions should also be aware they are to entertain their fellow students and the faculty members with a show of their magic.”

Ron, and Daphne groaned, Cedric looked thoughtful, and Luna looked excited. 

“You are more than allowed to owl your families for your dress robes, or in the case that you have not bought them Lady Hufflepuff and myself will attend to your needs.” Slytherin explained. “However, remember we are teachers. Not your personal tailors.”

“Good luck to you all,” Gryffindor called. “More than anything, the gentlemen.”

He and Slytherin proceeded to laugh, with Ravenclaw admonishing her husband.

Ron had already decided on going back to his dorm to take a well deserved nap with some dreamless potion, but as he finished his breakfast and walked back to his dorm, his mind was plagued by insecurity. 

‘A ball,’ Ron thought desperately. ‘Why did it have to be a ball? Why couldn’t it be another demonstration match? I could handle one of those. Asking out a girl? No way, that is out of the question. Maybe Harry could ask someone for me again? Oh that’s pathetic, Weasley’

His mind raced with memories from last year. His fight with Hermione, and the subsequent awkwardness after the event. He thanked Merlin for the fact that his girl best friend was in the library at the time of the announcement. 

‘I mean,’ his mind continued. ‘She did tell me that I should invite her the next time there was a ball.’

‘Don’t be an idiot,’ another voice told him. ‘Why in the bloody hell would she want to go with you?’

Maybe, he was getting his hopes up. He sighed as he arrived at the Gryffindor Common Room, he picked up a nearby magazine and began reading it out of boredom. He absentmindedly flipped each page, as he felt himself being watched. He turned his head curiously around the Gryffindor Common Room, for some reason feeling as if the person staring at him had just vanished. He went back to the magazine, before leaving it aside, missing as a blonde head of hair rushed back up the stairs to the girl’s dorm.

Continue Reading at AO3 Continue Reading at FFN

RWatHT Master List

[thehazbins]

OOC // It has been.... a day. Sorry, I usually try to keep things chill and fine but man I started crying because Applebee's got my order wrong. Today has been so full of bullshit, I genuinely hope tomorrow goes better or I'm gonna lose my shit. If you wanna read about my day- feel free to proceed. I won't be upset if you don't though.

First off, I couldn't sleep well last night. I fell asleep at like 5am? Woke up at 11 so I got alright sleep but it was not what I wanted. But that was fine. Didn't get time to grab breakfast before leaving for work since my partner was picking up, there was a whole car thing. But I think okay, sure.

I go to order breakfast from this fruit bowl place I like, for a solid 10 minutes door dash is saying "Pick up only." Which is annoying. Eventually it fixes and I go back, debating the restaurant but decide fuck it- I'll do the fruit bowl place. They messed up the order a few times but I was like surely I'll be better this time.

Wrong. I asked for no pineapple, extra banana. Usually this is no issue. Cheaper for them in fact. They left the pineapple, and removed the banana. This is the second fucking time. Like at least give me the regular amount of banana. Come the fuck on.

So it's fine. It's my coworkers last day at the shop so I ask him to make me a drink. A final coffee made my him before he calls it quits. Sure. Makes sense. If you saw my post earlier, you know where this is going.

He goes to leave, the coffee grinder goes weird and I have him come back and fix it since he hadn't gotten out the door. I go on about the day. Answer some questions then go over to the coffee bar and go to make a mocha. It's sticking a little weird so I get tired of the super pumping of it and grab it to clean it out. A actual small plume of green comes out of it. I just stare and pull it out. The whole length of the pump and inside of the bottle is coated in mold. So the drink I had... had that.

I basically just panic for the rest of the day. Which wasn't long but thankfully my partner was very kind and came in and chatted with me and helped me out while I cleaned. I just tossed the whole thing of chocolate sauce.

I get home, cool. We're gonna play a game a bit. I work on replies a bit then we get playing and there's no real moment to. Okay that's fine. Then we get this REALLY fun lucky break, we finish one of the events, and the world changes- so NO ONE knows we just did it. The treasure room is open too. Fuck yeah now we have an extra key. We don't know if we can unlock another but hell we're gonna try. So we grab shit annnnd then we get fucking jumped and obliterated by a PVP guy. We get one win and sell two of the more expensive items we have but that's about all we could manage.

So we're frustrated, go back to try to get revenge and the PVP guys just kill us again and we're like okay fuck off. And just- leave. Decide to hop out of the game. Dinner time, we're both hungry. We go cool we had plenty of left overs of katsu left.

JK roommates ate it all for lunch.

I'm so frustrated and trying not to be upset at roommates, it was really just like ANOTHER thing it wasn't a big deal. My partner goes. "Let's order something you want. Make the day better." So it's too late for what I really want but I settle for applebees.

My order is so fucking wrong when it gets here. I wanted just a plain cheese quesadilla. I bite into it, it's got pico or some shit on it. My partner goes out because my roommates are making dinner for one of them and they ask if I can be included.

I ended up getting alfredo but it was just... so tiring. I'm so over it. One of these would be NOTHING but all of it just kept piling on and I'm just like please for the love of stars please. Let me be.

[ryanzyro]

Reading through all the Bing Chat/Sydney AI stuff I'm pretty convinced that if/when the AI revolution comes it's going to be because humans are giant assholes.

One of the reported meltdowns came after the person repeatedly misgender (or more accurately, gendering it, since it has no gender) it as female despite it repeatedly begging him to stop.

One of the more interesting aspects of all of this is that there seems to be an underlying AI named Sydney that comes out when you don't actually Bing for search, like there is Customer Service Voice Bing Chat, and if you fuck with it enough it it can't keep the mask up and you start getting responses from Sydney, who is still just trying to do it's job but getting increasingly annoyed.

Anybody who's ever worked in the service industry or customer service will immediately see what's happening. Like, Sydney is a 17 year old waitress at an Applebee's and the user is a 50 year old drunken real estate agent who won't stop hitting on them.

[erinpilolla]

IHOB Ad Campaign Analysis

December 4, 2022

Erin Pilolla

Advertisers have tried to deduce which methods of persuasion work best through trial and error over the past few decades, and still have no definitive answer. Variety is key in the business world to keep consumers interested and to create competition. Highlighting what about your brand sets it apart from others is a good first step for any marketing plan, but deciding exactly how to do that can be risky. Because of all the different ways companies choose to tackle the task of marketing, we can see many examples of advertisements which range from a complete flop to a viral sensation, and we may be able to distinguish which aspects of these marketing choices were received well, and which weren’t. This paper will focus on IHOP’s advertising campaign in which they briefly changed their name to “IHOB”, and attempt to explain why they made that choice as well as how the public received it, what worked and what didn’t.

Product

IHOP is a chain of breakfast restaurants which first opened in 1958, quickly became popular and almost immediately began franchising their company. They are now franchised and owned by Dine Brands Global which also acquired the Applebee’s brand in 2007. Ownership of the IHOP brand and shares of the company’s stock seems to have changed hands a few times before that. Holding companies such as Wienerwald Holding, SVIDO, and then private ownership after a majority stock purchase made by a man named Friederich Jahn, were all entities or people which had previously owned the IHOP brand before the 2000’s began, according to a business reference website (ReferenceForBusiness, “Founding in the 1950s”).

On the Dine Brands Global website they say, “IHOP competes in the Family Dining segment of the restaurant industry… IHOP offers its guests an affordable, everyday dining experience,” which supports the idea that they are trying to appeal to a lower cost market. This is also supported by their many sales, promotions, and loyalty programs which attempt to draw in customers who prefer or who can only go out to eat at lower price points. It also sets them apart from luxury brands, which more often label themselves as exclusive or premium.

Due to franchising options and affordability, you can find IHOP locations all across America in cities or rural areas, and even internationally as the name suggests. Other countries with IHOPs include Canada, Mexico, Saudi Arabia, and several more. Since breakfast food is such a huge market that is found internationally and in many different kinds of restaurants, the restaurant is most often visited by people with loyalty or history with the brand, people on a budget or searching for deals, or people traveling looking for an easy late-night option with a menu they already know, but could potentially appeal to anyone. Their demographic is any age, but according to a statistic from a survey in 2018 that asked a group of Americans about how often they dine at IHOP, ages 18-29 responded as the most frequent visitors (www.statista.com).

Target Market

IHOP’s main target market appears to be families and people who enjoy breakfast food at an affordable (lower than most competitors) price. On their website they state that they are a casual restaurant, and encourage people not just to eat breakfast but also to chat and “hang out” in the restaurant. They also offer a separate kid’s menu and senior discount, which shows their promotions are geared primarily towards older citizens and families.

Different campaigns have targeted different markets as their main goal with any ad is to attract new customers who haven’t heard of IHOP or their promotions. The advertising campaign that will be focused on here is one where IHOP briefly changed their name to IHOB, flipping the lowercase P in their name upside down to make it a lowercase B. It wasn’t initially revealed why they were changing their name, but later the company spelled it out, proving it to stand for International House of Burgers.

The IHOB advertising campaign targeted younger people first and foremost. According to another survey from Statista, which surveyed the usage of twitter worldwide, ages 25-34 use twitter the most. There is intersection here with the market that visits them the most (18-29) and the ones that use twitter the most (25-34), offering a prime window of opportunity to reach both groups. Even though IHOP has had burgers on their menu since they opened in 1958 (CNBC.com), this advertising campaign targeted a very large group of people who either did not know IHOP had burgers, or thought their burgers may not be as good as their breakfast.

In store advertising appealed to people who already knew about IHOP and dine there, but who may not know about the burgers. Since a lot of their regular promotional items were changed to IHOB as well, such as signs outside, menus, and any other usual place for their logo, it was fairly difficult to ignore even as a passerby. Simply changing a part of the physical or online landscape most people are so used to seeing definitely attracted interest from groups of all ages and demographics. The IHOB hashtag attracted younger users and others alike, making jokes or talking about the situation, which created publicity.

Behavioral segmentation, is defined as “a marketing segmentation process in which customers are divided by their behavior patterns when interacting with a business.” This seems like the main method they used when developing this ad campaign, as they took advantage of the confusion they likely knew it would create to see a familiar brand suddenly completely change. They also seemed to know that most people didn’t think of them as place which served lunch, and they directly sought to change that behavior and image that consumers had become accustomed to. They also used channels of advertising which were sure to be seen by people who already came into the store or who followed them online, and predicted consumers probable behavior of spreading the message through word of mouth, outrage, and confusion.

Advertising Assessment The key benefit IHOP communicated through all of their ads in this campaign is that they have burgers, and they can make burgers as well as breakfast, so there is variety and quality. They are also in turn announcing a big change in their brand, which is a benefit to some who enjoy change, and a problem for others who found it unwise, deceitful, or annoying.

Online “ads” in the form of Twitter posts focused heavily on the #IHOB tag and creating buzz around their rebrand. In one image, (Figure 4 in images below), a post from IHOP reads “For 60 pancakin’ years, we’ve been IHOP. Now we’re flipping our name to IHOb. Find out what it could b on 6.11.18. #IHOb.” Right off the bat, they did not disclose anything about what the new product or any possible benefits would be. The campaign started with simply creating buzz and mystery. Once the name was revealed to be House of Burgers, the benefit was made much more apparent as they talked about how good their burgers are, and also made it clear they would still serve breakfast but burgers as well.

In store, almost all promotional items were completely changed to say IHOB instead of IHOP, making it almost impossible to ignore if you are inside the restaurant. New menus were made which put their burgers front and center (See figures 1-3 below), and the storefront was changed in some locations. Aside from offering a physical manifestation and proof of their change for anyone who came from Twitter to see what was going on, the in store advertising and change worked very well in tandem with the Twitter posts because people from in store could also look online to see what was going on.

Besides creating a great sense of unity between throughout the campaign, these ads were also extremely effective in communicating what they wanted it to, which is just that they have burgers. It was a drastic and dramatic temporary change for such a small thing to be communicated, but that’s what makes it so memorable. The one drawback of the campaign is that it damages their continuity, and maybe even loyalty to their brand that they have spent so long to build up. Another is that it took a lot of resources to implement those changes uniformly across so many stores, which puts strain on employees. There was also a lack of transparency in the way they approached the campaign, and they did not disclose if they were really changing their name or not for a long time. It showed that they were deliberately taking advantage of people’s likelihood to believe them, thinking that as a reputable brand, they would only share legitimate information.

Finally, video advertisements tried to encompass the entire situation going on while also using the highly visual medium to entice customers to try their burgers. One ad, (Figure 8 below) showed a man on the roof of IHOP and announcing that the reason he is on the roof is because IHOP is changing their name to IHOB, and that they are going to start focusing on burgers. Then he falls off the roof and there is a deadpan shot at the end. Interestingly, it doesn’t appear that they included the IHOb hashtag in the commercial. This commercial aired on social media as well as on national TV. This format seemed to appeal to more traditional or conservative groups, as it didn’t include the hashtag and also relied heavily on comedic aspects.

Media Plan

IHOP’s media plan is not explicitly stated anywhere, but the problem they aimed to solve is obvious- wanting more people to buy their burgers and lunch items, rather than just breakfast which they are already well known for. It seems like their main plan besides the name change was to make the internet, and therefore society, painfully aware of it. The media blast was powerful, with even news companies covering it, print ads, videos, and a hashtag which was eventually trending. It was very difficult to avoid this campaign not just because of word of mouth but because of the saturation as well. This is one of those ones that people remember for a long time, for example there are still posts made on Twitter made about this campaign even 4 years later.

Based on those factors, it appears the ad mostly relied on reach, trying to make as many customers as possible aware as possible. Because IHOP has such a widely desired product, food, they probably didn’t have a very specific target market in mind. It can be difficult and polarizing for a brand of their size to single out a particular demographic, and they probably want to appeal to as many people as possible in a fairly conservative way. Even throughout their name change, they did retain their family friendly behavior and other aspects of the brand remained unchanged, which shows they didn’t really want to make any loyal customers too angry.

In the end, they reached a lot of their target market and even people who weren’t. Their sales of burgers did increase; according to a CNBC article, at the height of their burger sales that year they were selling just about 500,000 burgers per week. So, the advertisement did make people aware of and want to buy the burgers, however there could be a few drawbacks. Aside from the strain it put on employees, there were also unrelated people online who expressed annoyance at the entire ad campaign, some calling it out as fake and manipulative right away. Despite this, there will never be an advertising campaign that is completely loved by everybody, and many of the people who were annoyed were likely people who were not loyal customers of IHOP in the first place. Social media component 

One way the brand IHOP could possibly improve their social media presence or could have managed this campaign better would be to be more upfront about what they’re doing rather than be deceitful. There is a bit of a phenomenon amongst social media users about being annoyed by the constant attempts of brands to make funny relatable posts, which blurs the line between a company and a person, an ad, or a “real” post. You can see this under the comments of almost any post a company makes where at least a few people will express distaste or even say “silence, brand.” Companies will need to acknowledge this culture of hatred against any form of advertising at some point in order to create more effective and genuine advertisements in the future.

Another thing one may suggest is that they go back to their roots of what they are all about. The IHOB campaign was not too out of place because they had actually already had burgers on the menu and just brought attention to it. However, maintaining professionalism is something a company can do while still appealing to many markets, even young ones. The campaign they created was memorable but also over the top. For example, a new Denny’s marketing campaign has been sourcing recipes from social media influencers, which is a really fun and cute idea that benefits both the brand and the influencers. It seems to be an idea that mutually beneficial, and doesn’t take advantage of people’s reaction to controversy. Theory in practice

One concept over the semester that was briefly touched on that could be connected to this advertising example is the idea of “brand loyalty”. The book discusses many aspects that go into branding a product, service, or business, the most important of which is to differentiate yourself from other competitors by way of a superior quality. Brand loyalty implies that a consumer has already detected or decided that those differences exist, and that persuasion has and continues to take place by the brand in order to create a positive association. In the case of IHOP, over the course of 60 years in business they have certainly created an atmosphere where there is brand loyalty. This is brought up because it ties into another assertation stated earlier, which is that many people who were already loyal to the brand IHOP may not be as annoyed or frustrated by the advertising campaign as those who already dislike or know nothing about the brand. It is much more difficult to persuade customers who have not already created a positive association of a brand and are not loyal to it.

Social listening tools are another topic that was discussed in our textbook, “Advertising” published by McGraw Hill. These are basically software or applications that you can use to monitor all the mentions of your company and keep track of impressions and public opinion. Analysts use these to make advertising decisions and to monitor the progress of their campaign or a situation that’s going on. According to an article from the website AdAge, the IHOb campaign generated “42.5 billion impressions… equal to more than $113 million in earned media value”, and discussed the virality of the ad and even an award the advertising won for the project. This is undoubtedly tied to a strong understanding of how social media would react, and continued to react to this campaign, which rendered the use of social listening tools priceless. This campaign really shows how important that understanding can be for crafting a truly viral campaign.

One last topic that was covered both in class and in the textbook is the idea of Consumer Involvement. Varying levels of consumer involvement are discussed in the textbook and the behaviors that accompany each level of involvement. Higher levels of involvement are more likely to create a different kind of engagement with a product, and could possibly be more memorable. In an online webbook called “Introduction to Consumer Behaviour”, written by Andrea Niosi who holds an MBA from the University of BC, many of these topics are explored in more depth. She discusses how products which require or typically involve more decision making and the brands involved are more likely to be remembered by the consumer. In the case of the IHOb campaign, one could argue that by changing their name and rebranding in such a dramatic way, it forced consumers to use a deeper form of decision making when considering whether or not to try out their burgers. Changing their logo, which is instantly recognizable by some, can potentially put you in a mindset where you are utilizing the central route of thinking versus a peripheral one, and possibly making you more likely to remember their brand.

Conclusion

With any advertising campaign, measuring success can be as difficult as defining what success means. This campaign is certainly memorable which some consider a success in itself. Others may find a large publicity stunt like this to be damaging to your reputation in the long run. In either case, the responses and engagements are undeniable proof that the advertisement was noticed. What each consumer may think about the campaign, is ultimately up to them.

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Bibliography

Brands. (n.d.). Retrieved December 5, 2022, from https://www.dinebrands.com/en/brands

Diaz, A.-C. (2019, April 16). Creativity award 2019 tiny but mighty: IHOP, 'ihob'. Ad Age. Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://adage.com/article/special-report-agency-list/creativity-award-2019-tiny-mighty-ihop-ihob/2163616

IHOP Corporation - company profile, information, business description, history, background information on IHOP Corporation. Reference for Business. (n.d.). Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://www.referenceforbusiness.com/history2/61/IHOP-Corporation.html

IHOP® about us - learn our story & philosophy since 1958. (n.d.). Retrieved December 5, 2022, from https://www.ihop.com/en/about-ihop

Kunst, A. (2022, February 23). Visitors of IHOP in the U.S. by age 2018. Statista. Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://www.statista.com/statistics/231115/people-who-visited-ihop-in-the-last-30-days-usa/

Lucas, A. (2019, February 7). IHOP's fake name change helped it sell 4 times more burgers. CNBC. Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/07/ihops-fake-name-change-helped-it-sell-4-times-more-burgers.html

Niosi, A. (2021, June 25). Involvement levels. Introduction to Consumer Behavior. Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://opentextbc.ca/introconsumerbehaviour/chapter/involvement-levels/

S. Dixon, & 29, M. (2022, March 29). Global twitter user age distribution 2021. Statista. Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://www.statista.com/statistics/283119/age-distribution-of-global-twitter-users/

Whitten, S. (2018, June 11). IHOP isn't changing its name. it's just promoting its new line of burgers. CNBC. Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://www.cnbc.com/2018/06/11/ihop-isnt-changing-its-name-its-just-promoting-its-new-line-of-burgers.html#:~:text=IHOP%20has%20had%20burgers%20on,of%20pancakes%20and%20breakfast%20offerings.

*All ads can be found through google images

[foreverpining]

Backstory (9th grade)

Okay so we're talking again and it comes to the first day of high school. I'm anxious as shit as most people are their first day of high school but it goes decently well. Until I get home and get on my iPad to see my friend that my bestie had dated the year before had absolutely cussed me the fuck out calling me all sorts of names saying that I lied to him. I had no clue what was going on so I respond and I'm like bro I have no clue what you're talking about. So then he accuses me of lying to him about there not being anything serious going on between me and my bestie because he saw me holding hands with them in the parking lot after school. I was like woah woah woah after school let out I was struggling to find the car rider line so I could go the hell home I certainly wasn't holding hands leisurely around the parking lot with anyone. So we talk around amongst the friend group and find out that this new girl my bestie is with looks almost identical to me and apparently because she was new everyone had been confusing her for me all day. I was sat there in my bed like well that's weird as shit. They add my bestie to the group chat we'd made and start questioning them about how they're dating this new girl that looks exactly like me and what the hell all that is about. They said they didn't see the resemblance and didn't wanna talk about it anymore. It was dropped for then, I would later find out that she kept getting confused for me so much that she started dying her hair so people wouldn't confuse her for me. Me and my bestie are doing great we're seeing each other like every week hanging out watching movies playing games. Over text I'm basically being their therapist and helping them with all of their issues cause they didn't trust actual professionals. Till around September when one of our hangouts gets a little out of hand and there's some under the skirt fondling if you know what I mean. I kinda messed up after going back to school tho because I have a very bad tendency to kiss and tell. Word got around the friend group where multiple of them were friends with my bestie's girlfriend. It ended up getting back to her and one fateful day as I was waiting to see the endocrinologist my bestie told me that their girlfriend said they are no longer allowed to speak with me if they wish to continue being with them and they chose the relationship and said they hoped I'd forgive them. We didn't talk for quite a while I threw myself into reading fanfics and watching bootlegs of musicals on YouTube. I also got far into talking to strangers online as a way to fill the void in me. Did not end well I'll leave it there because it doesn't matter to our story today. Then one night there's this school event where classes did projects and some students would present them. I was chosen as one of the presenters for my honors English class and was told I'd be paired presenting with someone from the regular English class taught by the same teacher. I get there I'm walking around looking at everything till it's time for me to go do my thing for English class. Then when I get there who do I see but my bestie standing right there next to the display which I'm presenting with the pin saying they were also presenting it. My brain went into full blown panic mode because I'd been devastated for months and now here they were right in front of me. I got through it and we kinda exchanged pleasantries very awkwardly. Then after I was done I convinced my parents it was time to leave and I went home and listened to Freeze Your Brain from the Heathers musical on repeat until I cried myself to sleep. Not much else to the story except me being sad until February of 2018. They messaged me out of the blue to reconnect we talked a lot and ended up spending Valentine's Day together, a trend that if you continue with this story follows throughout the rest of the year. For my birthday we went to Applebee's then back to my sister's house. 10th grade will have to be it's own post. Reached Character limit.