#anyways long tag list incoming

[evelynpr]

The Fontaine main cast are all so thematically, emotionally, and narratively connected to each other that you can ship them in nearly every way and it somehow works.

I'm talking Furina, Neuvillette, Arlecchino, Clorinde, Navia, and Wriothesley here.

Wriolette? The upholders of the order of Fontaine. One on the surface, and one in the depths.

Clorivia? Childhood friendship, betrayal, and now healing with the truth and past resolved.

Neuvifuri? 500 years of closeness and understanding, mixed with distance and regret. Only after her sacrifice are they finally both free.

Arlefuri? Changing their fates through sheer force of will. Protecting the people who need on them, while accepting nothing in return.

Wriolinde? They were going to protect Fontaine together if its the last thing they do. Their trust is unbreakable.

Arlevia? Protecting their loved ones beyond the law. With a system and world that did not care for them, they care for their family their own way.

Knavilette? The seemingly cold and distant with bleeding hearts. They always keep their distance for fear of what would happen in a moment of weakness, especially with their overwhelming power.

Navilette? Personal regret with injustice and loss, now healing with compassion and understanding.

Furinde? The selfless princess and her loyal champion. She has always been by her side, protecting her with her blade, but only now does she get to know the real "Furina"

There are even more I haven't touched on (lemme know if you'd appreciate it ig?). These characters are just so...so interconnected through Fontaine with its themes on justice, order, love, loyalty, and more. They really knocked it out of the park with creating such a beautiful and complex cast of characters.

[vargaslovinghours]

Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (But really Vargas lol) Rating: Teen and up Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

What, exactly, did Scriabin take from Edgar when they separated?

My first multichapter fic for Vargas! :D Yay!

(Pls read Ch. 1 first - Ch. 2 is also recommended, but as long as you're caught up on the first, you're good to go!)

-----

Side B

What the fuck.

"It's, it's possible that if, maybe whatever happened earlier, whatever caused all that blood and for us to be knocked unconscious-"

What the fuck.

"-and if I suffered a head injury, then maybe-"

No. That's enough.

Scriabin pushed away from the closet door he'd defensively pressed himself up against and put his hands on Edgar's shoulders, which quieted him. He looked at him expectantly, with eyes that Scriabin somehow only just now realized were casually guarded, curious, uncertain in a way that denoted inexperience. That was so messed up, that was completely wrong. Edgar should've been on guard, absolutely, but only because he knew exactly what Scriabin was capable of. He really didn't want to look at him right now if this was what he was going to be seeing instead.

He spun him quickly and pushed him out the door before he could protest. He got one last look at those wide, confused eyes before he slammed the door behind him, bracing it shut with both hands for good measure.

What. The fuck. His head came forward, making a dull thud as his forehead connected with the door. He doesn't remember me? His fingers curled on the door. What does he mean he doesn't remember me?! How could he not know me?! One hand pushed through his hair; his scalp tingled and that was so weird, he felt it and it was so weird- We literally just- He literally just-! As if pulling him screaming into life wasn't bad enough, now he had decided to play some sick prank!

This can't be true. It's just like him to try and make jokes at the worst possible time, he has no tact.

There was a timid knock on the other side of the door. Scriabin jumped as it resonated through his skull, his elbow, pressed to the door with his hand buried in his hair, set his jaw. Then silence.

If he was really trying to get back in, clear things up, say he was only kidding, he'd actually try.

Nothing.

Scriabin's blood was ice as he went over it again. The way he'd said his name. The vacant look in his eyes as he said it, like his mouth knew its shape but none of the meaning. No fear, no realization, nothing that really felt like Edgar, just sound, just noise.

Maybe he really had-

Oh god. His knees gave out, and his arms had no practice at holding him upright, not yet. His hand slid down the door, his other hand guarding his head as his hair fluffed against the grain.

How could he do this

This is all his fault

Stupid, idiotic

He can't do this to me

I can't believe him

I can't believe this

How dare he leave me alone like this

Thoughts spiralling, and all he could do was hold himself down, press his fingers into the back of his neck, force his chest to his knees and maybe he wouldn't immolate under it all. He was shaking, from tension or fear he couldn't tell, his mind too hazardous and loud to cut through it all. He was shaking, dizzy, and if he moved, letting go would surely kill him.

He can't do this to me.

He breathed. And breathed. And swallowed. Eyes closed, heart pounding, sure. Confusion and dismay, whatever. Pain. Fine. So be it.

This isn't like me. A hand untethered from his vice grip in his hair, and he stayed attached to the floor. It connected with the carpet below him and became a new lifeline. He pushed up and away into a limp sit, arms already burning slightly from holding himself up after all that. He shook his head mildly. This isn't who I'm going to be in life. His body, this fear response be damned, he was in control now.

Regroup. Let's- a mental pause, barely a quarter of a second long as he turned the word in his head. Let's pretend it's all true- what does that mean?

He flopped over, leaned upright with his back against the door, heels of his fists pushed down into the carpet to scootch closer. Moving was so awkward still, very unfitting.

He was acting normal. Well, Edgar's baseline for "normal" had changed considerably, so maybe put an asterisk on that. Not that he was ever normal to begin with, but normal-for-Edgar, -ish. That means he has to have some memory.

Scriabin held out a hand, arm slung over his knee, one finger held out. He had recognized his glasses. One. The apartment. Two. Which key to use. Three. He had said Todd's name. Four.

His stuff can be discounted, he's had all that for a while. Back down to one. The kid is a new fixture. Which means he remembers the last couple months at least. He shook his head and brought his hand up to comb through his hair. Well...it's fuzzy for me, so it probably is for him, too. Scriabin remembered everything in as much clarity as the last couple months allowed, there was no way Edgar would know more even if he had all his memories.

Speaking of which, Scriabin could remember everything. He flipped through; the last two months and bringing Todd in, Edgar's parting words to Johnny, his and Devi's conversation - he grit his teeth - and further back, everything along the way, all the way back. False dreams, shared childhoods, everything that was once Edgar's alone, he still remembered it. Nothing was out of place which made it all the more strange!

This is so fucking weird, if I remember everything, then why would he-

He stopped short. His purported purpose had been to replace Edgar. Take him over completely. If he bought into the conceit for a moment, just to play in the space... He was alive now. That was not as intended; it shouldn't even have been possible.

Did he...give me his memories? Like, all the way? Not just to borrow, to shape him, give him legitimacy - he was alive now. His own person. Separate, embodied, and whole. Was this the price of life?

That's stupid. But possible, he couldn't discount. If this - he brought his hands up and looked down at them, watched himself touch his own chest and felt it beneath his coat, shirt, the nerves firing as his slid his fingers up himself - if this was possible, then...

He continued for a moment, curious and reverant, all of him new and privately exciting, to exist and to touch, to feel, smell, see, all of it clear and fresh and penetrated deeply into his mind, as if a layer of film had been lifted from his senses. The moment passed as the memories, unbidden but important, cluttered in around him again.

There were still a lot of questions, and most of them couldn't be answered without Edgar, ugh. If getting anything out of him before had been like pulling teeth, he was very sobered to think about how it might be now. Depending on how much Edgar remembered, maybe he could start piecing things together.

Did he do it on purpose? Did he know this would happen? There's no way he would have been willing to if he had- But he couldn't ask him things like that. Even if he did remember, admitting something like that...

He was just spinning his wheels at this point. Better to gather what he could from the man himself. He looked up, preparing to stand.

Ah-

The room was still in something of a state.

Edgar would be annoying, or at least distracted by trying to pick up the clothes and uncarefully unpacked items strewn about the floor from Scriabin's very successful excavation of his old glasses. The clutter would have to go if he wanted his full attention.

He grumbled as he pushed off the door to pick up the first few things. First day of life and I'm already his maid. Figures. He's always needed me to clean up after him.

Silence.

Somehow it only just hit him. Thinking alone in the late hours, planning things behind Edgar's back, it was nothing new. But a barb unsunk into his mental flesh was left out in the wide emptiness, poised to stab whoever happened upon it next, and he was the only one here.

He felt very small all of a sudden, and he didn't like it at all.

His eyes blankly scanned the room, looking for nothing, until they settled on the toy at Edgar's bedside. His toy.

He dropped the items he'd bundled into his arms and made his way over. He picked up the small simulacrum, turned it over in his hands once, and stared at it.

He wouldn't know this. Not really. He brushed a thumb up and over the little mouth, the contours of its small face. Retroactively, I've never been this at all.

I'm no one to him.

Does this mean we can start over? The thought struck him like lightning, freezing his heart in his chest. He was fixed solid, staring down at the small figure in his hands.

Before he could even think, he'd already thrown it through the open closet door, landing noisily in the box he'd dug through with a clatter. He grabbed up the fallen clothes and items and stuffed them back in the box, burying the toy in mundane detritus, then closed the cardboard flaps and slammed the door of the closet for good measure.

His breath was laboured and he glared, like wishing it gone would make the closet itself disappear.

Answers. He needed answers, more than anything.

He ripped the door open, and there was Edgar who looked up, staring dumbly back at him and carrying the clothes he'd shed earlier over his arm. Something in his mind clicked over, and he didn't think about it.

"Alright," he caught his breath for half a second, "what do you remember?"

Edgar just kept on staring, mouth open, eyes unconfident behind weak glasses. Scriabin huffed irritably, I don't have time for this, and moved towards him, arm outstretched.

"Come on." Edgar gave a small startled sound behind him as he grabbed his collar and dragged him through the doorway. He threw him across the room, not bothering to watch his arc as he closed the door behind him. The bed was that way, he'd be fine.

When he turned back, Edgar had managed to catch himself, though already halfway on the bed. Scriabin stood with his back to the door, feet planted and he crossed his arms. No more speculating around impossibilities, tangible and present as they might be, it was time for a proper interrogation. It was at least preferable to-

Edgar made a face at him and scooted back, offering a seat next to him on the bed. Equal footing briefly flashed through his mind and while he wouldn't consider it ideal, nothing today was really going his way. He sighed, then made his way over and sat across from Edgar, who was eyeing him with a certain degree of caution. At least the feeling was mutual.

"Spill." He re-crossed his arms and leaned towards Edgar. "What do you know?"

Edgar hesitated, apparently thinking, his hands laced and fingers agitatedly if quietly rubbing the backs of his hands.

"I want to verify some things first."

Scriabin snorted dismissively. Where had Edgar's overly-trusting nature gone? A serial killer, well he's an honoured guest, but Scriabin? He didn't even distrust him for the right reasons.

He gestured with an open hand, Go ahead, then tucked his arm back in.

"Todd's last name?"

Pfsh. At least it was proof enough that anything Edgar knew, Scriabin did as well. As expected.

"Casil. His stupid bear's called Shmee in case you forgot that too." Edgar shook his head. No he hadn't? If only he could just check!

"Do you know our phone number?" Obviously he did, so he rattled it off quickly, Edgar nodding in turn. He flipped his hair in time with the last digit, careful to keep his eyes covered. It was a bit of a timid attempt, being the first in this body, which was a minor blessing he supposed.

Edgar mulled over what he'd given him for a moment, then a moment longer, then a moment even longer. His eyes searched absently, gazing down into his own hand, his other on his chin, lightly thumbing his goatee. He was focused on names and numbers, but those were child's play compared to everything, everything Scriabin still wanted to know. It was frustrating on a visceral level, watching him struggle with such simple innocuous nothings while the most important person in his life was sitting right in front of him.

He was supposed to be the most important.

It was frustrating.

"You really don't remember anything, do you?" He didn't hide the sneer as it shaped his voice - odd the way his body just did that now, did things without him actively thinking them into being. Even things like the little waver that made its way in that he pushed back down and under. He was frustrated, angry, tired - any emotionality could be attributed to those, nothing else.

Edgar didn't answer, just kept his gaze locked to his face. That was almost worse. Watching him fumble through things, it wasn't fun, but at least he wasn't trying to pry. He could see him try to look past his bangs, and the fact that he didn't know better...

Scriabin looked away for a moment, then thought better of it. Best defense is a good offense.

He reached for Edgar's face, for those damn scars, ever-present reminders. Edgar shied away, not wanting to be touched suddenly by someone he didn't know. As if Scriabin had ever cared about that.

Well, things were different now. Maybe he didn't really want to touch him anyway. Not yet.

"Do you remember these...?" Instead he framed his face with his hands less than an inch from his skin, and even there he could feel the heat coming off him. Edgar reached for his face, looking away from Scriabin as he touched the angry red marks. He winced minutely, then glanced back at Scriabin, searching him, his expression guarded again. Scriabin could hear his own pulse in his ears.

"...Johnny?"

"Fuck." Fuck! "Of course you'd remember him but not me." God damn it! It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, just because Johnny came first by a hair's breadth, just because he wasn't in Edgar's head, with Edgar's fucked up little obsession with the murderous stick figure- It limited what he could get away with too, if he remembered that far back. Absolutely nothing was going in his favour.

"I'm sorry..." He sounded genuinely remorseful, and it stuck in his throat. Disgusting. "So you know Johnny, too."

"Unfortunately." Scriabin tucked his chin to his chest, arms crossed again in close proximity. This sucks. Edgar just kept rambling, unaware as ever. His excuses held this time at least, one point in his favour, no points for bringing his annoying habits with him despite everything.

"I don't think I've seen him for a couple months now? Everything's awfully..." He gave a vague gesture and Scriabin uncurled slightly. He was giving him room to contribute. He shook his head.

"You haven't."

"Have you?"

He returned to his tight coil of sulking. Not like he was keen to meet up and chat, but he couldn't explain why he hadn't had the opportunity to either.

"I remember he called, too."

"Ugh," barely above breath. Enough about Johnny! Again, Edgar continued obliviously.

"Although I don't really recall what we talked about, not for a while..."

Of course not. I took over for half of those.

He perked a bit, and Edgar focused more on him, patiently setting his hands in his lap.

"You know."

He could play this to his advantage. Give Johnny some well-deserved karmic justice for fucking him over so many times. It was almost better that Edgar didn't know - Scriabin had been trying to get him away from Johnny all this time, and if he really had forgotten everything, not just the moments when Scriabin took over but every moment they had shared, then that meant it coincided almost perfectly with his first meeting with Johnny. Blank spot after blank spot after blank spot, all lined up immediately after getting his face slashed.

He could work with that.

"It's probably trauma." Edgar startled and his hand shot to his temple, lightly touching his hair.

"Like, head trauma?" Scriabing almost laughed. Yeah, probably that too. But that wouldn't help his case.

"No." He leaned in, taking a more intimate, secretive tone. "Think about it. When did things start getting fuzzy?" If he was right on this - which of course he was, but not being able to verify, not being able to see that he was right, it was disconcerting - but if he was, Edgar's memories of Scriabin should start with that first fateful encounter, give or take. A bit of reframing here, a touch of implication there... It probably wasn't even an outright lie; if Edgar's memory were perfect after experiencing everything Johnny had put them through, that would be some kind of twisted miracle.

His only real concern was their "childhood" - how much had Scriabin pulled with him? Would that throw off his story? But that was so far back, there was no way Scriabin or Johnny could be implicated in that. As long as Edgar didn't bring it up before he thought his way around it...

Edgar stayed quiet for a long while. His eyes raced behind closed eyelids, searching, scanning, retracing - Scriabin could almost see the moments where he hesitated, stopped and went back, then starting recollecting again. He wished he could see it for real, watch him unfold himself, touch those memories again, hold up his own in contrast. Even just hear Edgar's thoughts as they went by, feel the emotions he felt. But he couldn't, so he just stared as unblinkingly as this new body would allow, just watched as Edgar went over everything on his own.

He finally opened his eyes, staring back into Scriabin's though he was sure they were still hidden. He felt naked and awkward and Edgar still hadn't said anything. If he could just see like he was supposed to, or if Edgar would just tell him, he wouldn't have to ask. I have to do everything around here.

"It was after you met him, wasn't it?"

"You think it's...mental trauma?" An unspoken 'yes.' Relief flooded him, and he pushed ahead.

"Edgar. He stabbed you." Edgar gripped his shoulder, his eyes closing again and he looked to be in pain. That was a very effective reminder at least. "Do you even know why?" He shook his head and spoke throught half-grit teeth.

"I must have made him mad, but I don't remember-" Of course not, I did that.

"Your mind is trying to protect you." Not. But one of us has to with your inexhaustable deathwish. Scriabin reached out to touch him properly, but Edgar pulled away. He didn't follow, still not yet. Play up the pity. "He messed you up so bad," with a curl in his tone, an I told you so that barely made it to words even privately; how long had he been holding that in? "Surely you must've felt like you wanted, you needed to get away from him, that he wasn't good for you, that you-" He'd told him so many times, some it must have stuck, some of it had to have-

"Then-!" Edgar's eyes shot open, wide and desperate with an edge of disbelief. A strangled gasp escaped him, half-choking him as he tried to speak. "Then why can't I remember you?!"

He almost began rolling off the cuff, but really, he still didn't know for sure. And it definitely wasn't like he could tell the truth even if he wanted to; who, who hadn't lived it, would believe him? Edgar certainly wouldn't, not with his lack of imagination. He had to dress this up, weave a narrative that was plausible, had the perfect mix of truth and falsehood to stand up to scrutiny.

Huh. Ironic.

"I..." No. Some of this was Edgar's fault too. "We...argued."

"Argued?"

"I... Mng." He wanted to aim for some kind of levity, but his throat had tightened on him. He just wanted to tell this stupid inside joke and not have it affect him, not have it mean anything, and here he was getting emotional? He'd say it and fucking mean it. "It's not like I'm in your head, so-" spat out in a rush, there, he'd said it. Haha, isn't that so funny. He swallowed harshly, pushing down everything he felt into his stomach acid. He was in control. He was fine. This didn't shake him. "I can't know for sure," another humourless laugh inside, "but I was against your relationship with Johnny. Maybe you shut me out so you could keep seeing him with no pushback."

It certainly wasn't outside the realm of possibilities of what Edgar would do to avoid taking Scriabin's extremely basic advice about fraternizing with serial killers. How many times had he been ignored up to this point, only to culminate in the ultimate 'I don't know what you're talking about.' Pfeh. I bet he wishes he'd thought of this sooner. It did nothing for his painfully stuttered pulse.

"You know, I've been trying to convince you to stop going back to him for a while, but, well..." He waved his hand at Edgar's hand still death gripped into his shoulder, and Edgar averted his eyes guiltily. At least he showed some remorse. Better than his nigh constant apologia.

He stayed quiet a moment longer, and just before Scriabin made to fill the silence again, Edgar struck him with an intense look.

"What are you to me?" Ugh. Of course. There was not a single good answer for that. Even if he told him everything- no, especially if he told him everything, there was no way Edgar would believe him. But coming up with a convincing lie on the spot, when they were so clearly something to each other - even he needed time to come up with something workable. How could he have ever prepared for a situation like this? It was never meant to happen, so many things were never meant to happen!

He continued at Scriabin's silence. "You know Nny," Ugh! Even his awful nickname. "And Todd. And...me." He couldn't refute it, so he nodded tightly. "Do you live here?"

Technically he had, and technically he hadn't. Still, going forward, it would be easier to let Edgar assume that he did. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go at the moment anyway.

"Yes."

"Are we..." He searched him, looked him over as much as he could and he wasn't subtle about it. If only Scriabin had his proper glasses, he'd let him look as much he wanted, behold his spectacle! As it was, he just felt self-conscious and it was very unbefitting. "...family?"

The baggage on that. He did not feel like opening that particular can of worms in either of their current states. He turned his head and flipped through any number of halfway decent ways to phrase it until he hit on something Edgar would remember. Better not to contradict for now.

"You told Johnny you have no family when you met."

"That's true..." Edgar blinked, processing. "Wait, did I tell you that?" Scriabin startled. Even after he'd accounted for his memory! Of course he had to pick his story apart now, he never knew when to leave well enough alone.

"When you-" No, he had to be involved. "When we bandaged your face."

Edgar mulled on that for a few seconds, taking on a thoughtful pose. "I only remember being alone."

"You don't remember me at all. What do you want from me?" He huffed.

"No, sorry, you're right."

"Thank you." He was right!

Where had Edgar expected him to be? There was something weird about how he'd said it. He filed the thought away for later.

"So, if you've been living here, where..." Edgar looked around the room, then back to Scriabin. "Where have you been sleeping? Todd's already on the couch..."

Scriabin couldn't help as a smile sprung to his face. If he was going to present him with such a perfect opportunity, well, he'd better take it. He even had the decency to look nervous in response! This was too good.

"Would you believe me if I said right here, in bed?" He again tucked his chin, playfully this time, his hair falling further in his eyes. Even through the dark tangles he could make out Edgar's face immediately bristling with heat.

Ooh. That's such a fetching shade on you, my dear.

"But-! I, I haven't been sleeping on the floor!" He was visibly sweating!

"Correct." His smile grew. This was too easy, and he needed an easy win right about now.

"W-" He leaned forward on his legs, though refused to get any closer. When he spoke it was a harsh whisper. "Why...?"

Scriabin shrugged easily, not bothering to reign in his smile in the least. "I mean, where else, right?" He leaned in since Edgar refused to, and oh. He was blushing all the way up to his scalp. Hilarious. "You certainly didn't seem to mind." He couldn't hold back the slightly musical tone or his eyebrows inclination to move on their own. His body knew what he was getting at, and he could see it only increased Edgar's fluster. All the better.

"Well I do now!" Edgar darted up and away, stumbling in his hasty retreat. "If you'll excuse me!" though he was already practically in the hallway by the time he said it. What a display, and Scriabin's laugh was loud and natural.

Finally, something positive. He'd managed to fumble his way through, not his best work in lying or manipulation, but he'd set some important groundwork. He'd gotten some answers, and he could start to shape some more believable stories around them.

The biggest hurdles were Johnny and Devi. As long as Edgar didn't meet with them too soon - or well, at all would be preferable, but he doubted he could just keep him locked up, as much as the idea appealed to him. There were so many things that were possible now, things that he had the ability to do, given the right circumstances... All of that in due time. For now he had a yarn to spin.

He listened as Edgar fumbled in the hall, the sheer sound of cloth being pulled and folded over an arm barely perceptable. Was he really going to try to sleep on what little was left over? Maybe he'd give up once he realized the pickings were thin and beg Scriabin to let him sleep with him. Hah.

While he was out, Scriabin made his way over to the pajamas drawer. They were all old and soft, even just to his hand. They'd do for now, until he could get his own. It wasn't like he hadn't worn all this before anyway.

By the time he'd finished dressing, his clothes discarded on the opposite side of the bed to where Edgar had set up his little nest, Edgar had finally gotten himself a set of pajamas. He wondered for a moment if he'd dress with Scriabin in the room again, though maybe his intense stare drove him off. Who could say. He patted the bed with a wide grin when he returned and was dutifully ignored. He settled down to the side, and Scriabin laid on his arms to look down at him.

"Ugh, lame."

"I don't-"

"Yeah, whatever." He'd heard it all before. At least he could literally look down on him like this. He folded his hands and leaned just a bit further, looking him over. A desire he hadn't realized he had surfaced in the dark and quiet. "Give me your hand."

"Sorry?" Scriabin held out his hand expectantly.

"I used to hear your heart beat every day." Edgar looked at him incredulously, but Scriabin was unperturbed. "Let me hear it again."

He hesitated but eventually slowly offered his arm. "...Okay."

He pulled his arm up and placed his thumb against his wrist. He felt a strange mismatch - where he'd been expecting one heartbeat, there were two. He covered his surprise, near shock at the realization that of course he had his own body now, by pulling harder on Edgar's arm, directing him up to his ear.

"Wh-"

"Shh." Quietly. He had wanted this, wanted this body, this separation, this freedom for so long, and now... He spoke quietly, his voice betraying nothing. "I'm listening."

Edgar's pulse was erratic, but he hardly paid attention to it. His own fingers on Edgar's skin, warm and pliant, and Edgar's fingers twitching in his hair, he could feel it, he was trying not to touch him- This hesitation was killing him, every jerky movement away not from fear of what Scriabin could do to him, just uncertainty, like he was still a stranger- He pressed him harder to his head, and he could feel goosebumps under his fingers. He wanted to just hold him there until all the memories they'd shared poured back through him, into his blood, into his breath.

Where are you?

But he replied in that same uncertain, guarded tone that indicated he didn't know, not really.

"C...can I have my arm back now?"

He pushed him away. "Fine." Edgar curled his hand protectively against his chest, and he noticed he rubbed it slightly, he probably hadn't even realized.

He mumbled out a harried "Good night," and it was almost enough to make Scriabin smile. Almost. He could still affect him but this wasn't enough, it wasn't right.

He laid his head on the pillow, not bothering to pull his arm up over the side of the bed. If he twitched in the night and touched Edgar, well, that could mean anything. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he did it on purpose. Plausible deniability was one of his greatest assets.

As it was, he was just tired. Maybe he didn't pull it back because he hated the thought of sleeping alone, pushed out and forgotten, and hated it more that he was even thinking something like that. How pathetic. He didn't need anyone, especially not Edgar.

But he was tired. Not in his right mind.

Does this mean we can start over...?

The thought echoed and died, and he slept.

[carmyberzattosjournal]

Entry 14: A Portrait of Exhaustion

Screenshot Credit: @neverscreens

Bearblr Promptober Day 14: Somnophilia (Sub: Sleeping)

Summary: Carmy can't sleep after his panic attack, but his girlfriend can't sleep alone. She's more convincing than he is.

Warnings: Swearing, mentioned panic attack (no active panic attack in this one), insomnia, sleepy bean fem reader who is a trauma surgeon, snuggling, Carmy comforting reader, she/her pronouns, fluff.

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

This is a two-parter. The first part is here.

Reblogs appreciated. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list.

14 Oct 2024

How the shit was I supposed to sleep after a panic attack?

It came in fits and bursts. Reality frayed apart between my apartment in Chicago, Michelle’s place in New York, The Bear and, Empire. I became aware of Darling’s attempts to soothe me several times, and, not wanting to plague her with awful sleep after such a long shift—and incoming work the next day—I crawled out of bed. Shuffled to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, to push away the roiling memories of that broiling fucking kitchen. I was in Chicago, dammit. Chicago, my apartment.

My own reflection looked more dead than alive.

I was pale as shit. Maybe even a little green. The shadows around and under my eyes were deeper, had a blue or purple tone to them, made the blue in my eyes look dull, like it’d been through the wash ten too many times. Fuck, my hair was a mess. It didn’t even look curly anymore, it just looked fried. What did Darling say at the pumpkin patch? Crispy? Yeah, it looked crispy, wiry, reminiscent of a frayed line of twine or fucking pork floss. Might not have felt like it, but I needed some fucking sleep.

To the couch, then.

Terrible idea with a bad back anyway, but even worse when the only thing asserting any presence of reality was Darling’s hand between my shoulder blades. My stomach turned over repeatedly as I failed to fall into unconsciousness. I was both too sweaty and too cold at the same time, there was this strange burning sensation on my chest—bit like a bee sting, kept rubbing at it through my tank top. I’d drifted off a thousand times on that same couch over the last year-ish, but this time, I couldn’t find any way to be comfortable. First, it was my back, then the edge of the couch cushion digging into the very top of my hip, then my shoulder felt crunched up, then the pillow put my neck at a weird angle. The bedroom door creaked.

“Carmy?” she said from the hallway.

Well, now I just felt like an asshole for waking her up.

“Couch,” I croaked.

“Come back to bed.” She whined it. She was frustrated.

I thought about how I would convince her to go back to sleep without me. I could say I was wired. It wasn’t false—sleep was so far away I’d need a fucking map and compass to find it—but then, she’d just try to soothe me. Fucking hell, I get that I’m a fucking disaster, but do you have to burn yourself out over me? For what purpose? I feel shitty enough as a human as-is, I don’t need a fucking caretaker running herself into the ground on top of it.

“Come back to bed; I’m freezing.”

In retrospect, I find it both funny and intensely frustrating how fast I leapt off the couch and skittered to her after she said that. I’m over here thinking about how I don’t need a fucking caretaker, yet my girl mumbles once that she’s cold, and I completely forget every-fucking-thing happening with me because I gotta go take care of her. I have to make sure she’s okay, because if I do that, then I don’t have to think about any of my problems.

I’m a fucking hypocrite.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m coming.” I rounded the hallway to see her slumped against the bedroom doorframe, a portrait of exhaustion in every sense of the word. Her knees were knocked together, foot toe-down and pressed into the rug to stretch the muscles in front of her shin, her shoulders were hunched, her arms hung limp at her sides. Her hair was in her face—almost completely obscuring it—and her eyes were closed. She swayed on the spot, and I darted forward to catch her.

“Woah, woah, hey! Hey.” She half-righted herself, half-leaned into me, resting her forehead against the crook of my neck. Her nose was cold. “Shit, you really are freezing…”

“Fuckin’… landlords…” She reached for the bedroom door for some reason. I don’t know, instinct to close it or something. I swung it shut and set her down on the bed. Swept her hair out of her face.

“Sorry, I kept waking you up. I just-I just wanted you to get some good rest.”

“Yeah, well. You’re the space heater right now,” she pouted.

Something twisted in my stomach. Fucking landlords. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

She scooted back in bed to make room for me, patted the pillow. “And it scares me when you disappear like that.”

Scared her?

I crawled into bed, tucked her head under my chin, hooked her leg over my hip so I could rub her shin. Her cold little nose pressed against my skin as she kissed my collarbone. I tucked her arms between us to help her warm back up. Gathered the blanket up around her tighter.

“This is so comfy,” she mumbled, tightening her leg around me.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, it is.”

“No leaving again, please, sweetheart?”

I nodded. “Okay. Yeah, no leaving again. Why-why does it scare you when I go?”

She yawned again. “Sometimes, I have to remind myself that you’re real.”

Huh? “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I love you so much that you don’t feel real. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m going to wake up, and all of this will have been a dream.”

It must’ve been because I was still fried from freaking out—I don’t know. I can’t know. I won’t know. But whatever the reason, I asked, “Why do you love me?”

What kind of fucking question is that? Who asks that? And why would you ask that to someone whose mind is going numb from sheer fucking exhaustion? She should’ve told me to shut the fuck up and go to sleep, I’ll be honest, it’s what I fucking deserved. But no. No. She innocently delivered the kind of silent devastation that only words whispered into your skin when you’re seconds from shattering can. Her words didn’t hit me like a bullet to the heart, knife to the back, blow to the head, or a freight train, a semi, or a pickup truck. No, they sunk into my skin like a needle, only stinging for a fraction of a second before sleep mercy-killed me for the rest of the night. Left no marks the next day or the day after or the day after but had planted something deep in my soul that would fester, macerate, unearth gaping, open wounds in need of debridement and suturing. Darling didn’t know it yet—I didn’t know it yet—but she’d signed my death warrant with those words.

“What’s not to love?”

What’s not to love?

I change my mind about God. He does exist. And he’s a sadist.

[abalonetea]

My recent poll made me realize that a lot of people haven't actually been around my blog since the Ol' Days. So, I thought it was about time that I did a little reintroduction!

I'm Katie! You can find me on Amazon as K. E. Koontz; it's right here! You should totally consider checking out my books! I have sea creatures, I've got werewolves, I've got demonic possessions and haunting ghost stories and characters like you wouldn't believe!

I've also got a mailing list, right here!

I'm a bit of a hot mess, but I'm trying! I used to raise and train showjumpers for a living, worked at an animal sanctuary, lost half my vision and switched gears to being a full-time writer!

I'm the primary source of income for my family, which includes my mother and my sister, and all of your support is greatly appreciated! Don't want to buy one of my books? No worries! Consider checking out my patreon, my kofi, or my wishlist!

Anyway, I write a lot of horror, I love werewolves, and I'm very much interested in creating characters that have a heavy, devotional cadence to them. You can also find crime thrillers and fantasy pieces in my collection!

Penny Posting is the tag I use for the romance pieces that will eventually go under my penname, so feel free to block or follow that as you see fit, and keep an eye on the 'my writing' tag for snippets and excerpts!

I just finished getting a full trilogy set-up for preorder and I am soooo exhausted now, but I do still have other projects in the works!

Shed

Devil Mine

Cryptid Hearts

They Looked Like People

How To Date A Werewolf

Gorehound: An Alaskan Horror Story

I host the @writeblrsummerfest every year, have been on writeblr for a very long time, am a professional ghostwriter and dev/con editor, and constantly tell myself 'next month, I'll get my act together.'

My big dream is to get to a point where I can start taking my mother traveling some, and if my username seems vaguely familiar, it may be from that one time I briefly went viral on Tumblr for pulling a litter of two day old kittens out of a very, very deep storm pipe (we still have one of them)!

Anyway, it's great to see you around!

[charmedreincarnation]

I manifested my dream life 🥳🎊🎉

Long post incoming ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Hi everyone. my name is Asanatu (call me sana or asa) and I just want to share my success story. Anyways, A+p, Intention, plus the void state was the method I always resonated with with. I also joined and was apart of tumblr pretty actively during the time when these were “the methods.”

I was making so much headway! I manifested money, better looks, better grades and mental health and I even mini shifted. Things were looking bright and I knew my shitty circumstances would be a memory of the past and everything would be easier. Then the switch to states, Neville Goddard,and Edward Arts happened and I was so lost. Then creators who even used the void or a+p were suddenly bullying and attacking people

for thinking thoughts create reality instead of states. They were attacking people for using the void and putting it on the pedestal even though they used it to achieve their dream life 🤡🤡 sucess stories dropped drastically, tensions were tight, and entitlement and shoving states down our throats was happening at an all time high. Honestly I gave up with the law and shifting bc I started to believe a+p truly didn’t work bc everyone was preaching that perspective out of no where even though we all started with that and people used it !!!!! Now the same is happening to non dualism…so it will be even more over complication and entitlement for the competition to be the most all knowing and debunker of the law. It will be less success stories, more tension, and paragraphs upon paragraphs on their beliefs but no success to show for it so I am most definitely leaving tumblr and for anyone who wants recourses maybe read and stick to the og creators from December for. Few posts and then dip

Expeditiously, pleaseee !!!!!

I also need to take accountability for

Myself. I’m sending this on anon mode because I have been so rude to so many bloggers and projected my newfound doubt to random, kind, helpful bloggers and I have to apologize. Most of them won’t see this because I’m blocked, but none of you guys deserved it. I would tag them but it was most Loa creators which is so embarrassing to admit, but again I apologize.

After having some self awareness I decided to stop being a loser and take accountability for my own life. I said fuck it and went back to a+p and the void state. I just affirmed robotically and used some subliminals for the void state from popular successful void blogs. After two weeks I got into the void state and manifested my dream life. After complaining and procrastinating for 6 months. As much as tumblr is toxic and the dumb entitled energy is radiating extra bright you all have to grow up and stick to what works for you. You have free will and godly powers no matter how many big headed bloggers try to intimidate you.

A summary of my manifestations from the void are: millionaire parents, 4.3 cumulative gpa, being apart of my schools honors society, dream graduation (it was yesterday) 10/10 looks, acceptance to Harvard, dream body and natural fast metabolism, being a master shifter, list of hobbies and talents, dream personality, huge mansion, cute kind rich bf, and being a desired it girl

I want to say so much more but Moral of the story is stick to what has worked you, take accountability for your journey, and ignore what doesn’t resonate with you.

I think a lot of people will relate to this. No matter what you believe in, whether that be states, non dualism, the void, a+p,etc just persist on your faith. Congrats anon and good on you for taking accountability for your own journey. I also can only speak for myself but I forgive you :)

Edit: a+p is affirm and persist

[kckt88]

Take My Breath Away VII

Summary:

Vaeryna travels to the Vale and has a surprise reunion.

Warning(s): Angst, Lactation Kink, Oral Sex - M Receiving.

Word Count: 3000

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

GREENS WIN - ENEMIES TO LOVERS.

Tag List - @a-beaverhausen, @ammo23, @immyowndefender, @watercolorskyy, @toodlesxcuddles

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

Some dialogue/scenes from Dynasty have been reused.

“I still can’t believe he’s ours” exclaimed Vaeryna as she gazed at her son.

“D-Do you think I’ll be a good father?” asked Aemond quietly.

“Of course, I do. You read to him, soothe him when he cries. You wake in the night to help me when he needs feeding, and you even help change his soiled cloths. Most things a lot of fathers don’t even try” said Vaeryna.

“I just want him to know that I love him and that no matter what I will always be there for him”.

“Rhaegar will always know of your love” said Vaeryna.

“As will you, Issa jorrāelagon” whispered Aemond (My love).

“I want to thank you” said Vaeryna.

“For what?”

“I heard what Munkun said-about the procedure” whispered Vaeryna.

“I would never let anyone do that too you” exclaimed Aemond as he took hold of Vaeryna’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“-And that’s how you’re a better than your father” replied Vaeryna.

“A raven arrived for you from Lady Jeyne Arryn” said Aemond as he handed Vaeryna a folded piece of parchment.

“Been reading my mail, have you?” asked Vaeryna as she snatched the letter away from Aemond.

“I didn’t. Larys Strong did, he checks all incoming ravens, this you know” said Aemond.

Of course, that was true, it wasn’t the first time she’d received a letter from Jeyne that had already been opened.

“She wishes to meet Rhaegar” said Vaeryna.

“Is that wise?” asked Aemond.

“I spent many moons with Lady Jeyne, I consider her my dearest friend, why shouldn’t she meet our son” replied Vaeryna.

“She’s not exactly been receptive to the King”.

“-And you think by extension, she will take an instant dislike to our son and what-try to harm him in some way? Get a grip Aemond” snapped Vaeryna.

“I will not be scolded like a child for simply being cautious” replied Aemond as he gently ran his fingers through Rhaegar’s silver hair.

“Well, it’s irrelevant, because I intend to accept her invitation”.

“-And if I forbid it” retorted Aemond.

“I’ll still go anyway. Rhaegar is heir to the Iron Throne, surely it makes sense that he’s introduced to the ruling Lords and Ladies of the Seven Kingdoms”.

“Well Lady Arryn can come to Kings Landing, just like everyone else and bend the knee to the King and his chosen heir” replied Aemond.

“Am I a prisoner here?”

“What! No. Why would you say that?” gasped Aemond.

“Because you seemed determined not to let me leave the Red Keep” said Vaeryna.

“Does this invite extend to myself?”

“Gods no. Lady Jeyne would sooner eat glass than invite you to the Vale” said Vaeryna.

“Exactly my point”.

“Look. I don’t care what you say. I’m going and I will be taking our son” said Vaeryna as she lifted Rhaegar into her arms and sat on the bed.

He instantly started fussing so Vaeryna untied her shift and held the hungry babe to her breast.

“I am your husband; you should listen to me” argued Aemond.

“Yes, and I am your wife, not a possession for you to command or own. Lady Jeyne was a great comfort to me during my time in the Vale and it would be nice to see her. I wouldn’t be gone long, a week at the most” said Vaeryna.

Aemond closed his eye and sighed, he could feel his resolve crumbling, how could he even think to argue with his sweet wife, when she had her breasts out.

“You would take the Cannibal with you?”

“Of course,” replied Vaeryna.

“Only for a week and no longer” urged Aemond.

“I swear it” said Vaeryna smiling.

“Fine, but if I get so much as a whisper that there’s trouble, I will mount Vhagar and burn the fucking entirety of the Vale to the ground” replied Aemond sternly.

“I completely understand. Don’t worry husband. We’ll be back before you even realise, we’ve gone” said Vaeryna brightly.

“Hm” muttered Aemond, internally cursing himself for his weakness towards his wife’s bare milk swollen breasts.

“Seen as I am leaving you for a week, how about I treat you” said Vaeryna as she finished feeding Rhaegar and placed him in his cradle.

“T-Treat me?” gasped Aemond, his breeches becoming uncomfortably tight.

“Well, I see the way you gaze at me as I feed our son, so I’m assuming you would like a taste of my mother’s milk” replied Vaeryna as she laid on the bed.

Suddenly Aemond became very flustered, his cheeks felt like they were on fire.

“I am not yet ready to resume all our martial activities, but I’m sure if you taste me, then I shall taste you in return, Issa prūmia” exclaimed Vaeryna (My heart).

Aemond then descended on Vaeryna’s soft lips, kissing her, his hands gently caressing his wife’s milk swollen breasts.

Aemond released Vaeryna’s mouth and bent down to lick her nipples, he couldn’t contain his excitement as he went back and forth between his wife’s wonderful, enlarged breasts that nourished their son.

“Oh” muttered Vaeryna as she flung her arms over her face, as pearly white liquid began to leak from her breasts, running down her body in rivulets.

Aemond ran his tongue over the milk that had dripped from his wife’s rosy nipples and delighted in the sweetened taste.

“Hm” moaned Aemond as he continued to lick and suck his wife’s breasts.

“A-Aemond” gasped Vaeryna.

“What is it my love”.

“L-Let me taste you. Please” begged Vaeryna.

Aemond propped himself against a hastily assembled pile of pillows and quickly pulled down his breeches and small clothes.

His hard cock slapping against his abdomen.

Aemond stared down at his naughty little wife, his mouth hanging open as Vaeryna lightly ran her fingers over him.

Next thing he knew, Vaeryna’s warm, wet mouth was wrapped around the head of his cock.

Vaeryna’s tongue ran around the tip – tracing the ridges and licking off that drops of pre-cum that had started to leak out.

“Fuck, Vaeryna!” groaned Aemond as he threaded his fingers through his wife’s silver hair.

Vaeryna ran the flat of her tongue along Aemond’s length, tracing every hard inch of him.

Aemond’s heart almost stopped when she sucked his stones into her mouth, one at a time.

Her hand moving slowly over the hard length of him.

When Vaeryna engulfed Aemond’s cock in her mouth, he squeezed his eyes shut.

Vaeryna was driving him crazy.

Aemond forced himself to open his eyes, he had to watch his precious wife sucking his cock. 

“Your taking me so well. Such a good girl” moaned Aemond.

Aemond knew it would push him too far to control, but he did not care. He just had to watch his cock disappear into Vaeryna’s mouth and see it come back out, shining with her spit.

Her head moving back and forth, her pink lips stretched around him. Oh, it was heaven.

“I’m not going to last” Aemond admitted, though it pained him to do so.

Vaeryna smiled slightly and began moving faster, also using one of her hands in rhythm with her mouth. 

“It feels so good” groaned Aemond.

Vaeryna responded to his statement by relaxing the back of her throat, and swallowing as much of her husband’s cock as she could, whilst her other hand cupped his stones.

“Shit Vaeryna! I’m going to come. Oh, fuck, I’m coming!” shouted Aemond as he exploded.

His sweet wife took every last drop, swallowing his seed and licking him clean.

When he recovered, Aemond saw Vaeryna’s self-satisfied smile.

“Was that to your liking husband?” asked Vaeryna.

“Y-Yes��� gasped Aemond.

Although it was easy enough to potentially convince Aemond to allow her to take Rhaegar to the Vale, it had been harder to convince the King and some of his council.

Whilst most of them were against it, there were some that supported it. As they saw it as a way to improve the relationship between the Vale and Kings Landing.

As Lady Jeyne had been an avid supporter of Rhaenyra during the war, they didn’t want to cause a stir by refusing her invitation.

So, after a couple of days deliberation, Vaeryna was permitted to take Rhaegar to the Vale for a week.

Vaeryna could barely contain her excitement as she headed towards Cannibal with Rhaegar strapped to her chest.

Her son was currently fast asleep, nestled inside the soft fluffy fabric of the wrap.

Aemond who had followed her, had been in quite a sour mood all morning. She guessed it was because he was going to miss her and Rhaegar but there was also part of her that knew he had hoped that either the King or the council would refuse her request and when they didn’t, he descended into an epic sulk.

“Do cheer up husband, I’ll back within the week” said Vaeryna cheerfully.

“That is still a week without my wife or my son” snarked Aemond, his arms folded behind his back.

“We’ll be back before you know it” muttered Vaeryna as she placed a gentle kiss on Aemond’s scared cheek.

“Hm” muttered Aemond.

Vaeryna seemed to be waiting for Aemond to kiss her in return, but he turned his head away from her.

“You know what-fine, if your going to act like a spoilt child, then so be it” snapped Vaeryna her eyes welling up with tears.

“Vaeryna” exclaimed Aemond.

“No. I hope you snap out of whatever mood you’re in, otherwise I won’t bother coming back” retorted Vaeryna as she turned on her heel and walked closer to the Cannibal.

“Vaeryna” called Aemond as he tried to follow, but the Cannibal reared up in defence of his rider.

“Easy my sweet” cooed Vaeryna as she ran a gloved hand over his maw.

“Let’s not leave things like this” urged Aemond.

“You’ve only got yourself to blame” replied Vaeryna as Cannibal lowered his shoulder and allowed Vaeryna to climb onto his back, she made sure she was properly seated, and that Rhaegar was secured, before she took hold of her dragon’s spikes.

“Please, Vaeryna-“

“-Sōvegon” shouted Vaeryna and Cannibal opened his large wings and hurtled into the sky, and for a dragon of his size, he was remarkably fast.

Aemond could only watch, as his wife and son disappeared into the clouds on the back of her dragon.

It had been a few weeks since Vaeryna had flown with Cannibal and to be amongst the clouds again felt glorious.

Suddenly Vaeryna heard a huge roar behind her, and immediately her heart sank, thinking that Aemond had followed her on Vhagar.

But it wasn’t Vhagar that emerged from the clouds, it was Dreamfyre. The pale blue and silver dragon glided effortlessly next to Cannibal who chirped happily.

Vaeryna heard Rhaegar let out a small, contended coo and she smiled. Guess they had some extra company.

“She seems awfully comfortable flying along side you my sweet” said Vaeryna loudly.

No other dragon aside from Caraxes or Vhagar had the courage to fly alongside Cannibal, his reputation alone was enough to frighten the younger and much smaller dragons.

Cannibal gave a pleased trill as he flew closer to Dreamfyre, their wings almost touching.

“Is that who’s been keeping you company these last few weeks?” teased Vaeryna as Cannibal huffed loudly.

Vaeryna giggled softly and gave her dragon a firm pat on his back. He purred back in response.

Most feared dragon in all of the seven kingdoms, purring like a content cat, it made Vaeryna smile.

Due to Cannibal’s sheer size, it took now more than a few hours for Vaeryna to reach the Vale, which was a good thing as Rhaegar had started to get fussy, he was hungry.

So, after circling the castle a couple of times, no doubt Lady Jeyne would recognise Cannibal, so he wouldn’t be faced with any issues upon landing.

Cannibal and Dreamfyre landed with a ground shaking thud, and Vaeryna paused for a moment to make sure there were no problems.

Four guards emerged and bowed respectfully, no doubt here as escorts.

Vaeryna gently manoeuvred herself off Cannibal and made sure to inform him that he was too behave whilst he was here.

“No stealing the local donkeys” muttered Vaeryna as Cannibal bristled with annoyance, but appeared to accept what he was told albeit begrudgingly.

“Welcome back to the Vale, Princess”.

“Thank you, Ser it’s good to be back” replied Vaeryna.

“Right this way Princess, Lady Jeyne is anxious to see you”.

Vaeryna nodded and followed the guards inside the castle, not much had changed since she was last here, and it gave Vaeryna a sense of familiarity, almost like coming home in a way.

“Princess, it is good to see you” exclaimed Jeyne as she enveloped Vaeryna into a hug.

“Lady Jeyne” gasped Vaeryna.

Suddenly Rhaegar let out a high-pitched squeal.

“For someone so small, he’s very loud,” laughed Jeyne.

“Apologise, my Lady, but he’s hungry” muttered Vaeryna.

“Please take a seat” offered Jeyne.

Vaeryna nodded great fully and sat down, Rhaegar immediately rooting against her chest.

“Easy there. Issa byka zaldrīzes” whispered Vaeryna as she uncovered herself and allowed Rhaegar to latch on (My little dragon).

“I must say I’m surprised that you were allowed to come here” said Jeyne firmly.

“You know me, even if I wasn’t, I’d still make the journey” replied Vaeryna.

“I was worried for you, so many nights I laid awake in my chambers, praying you were ok and when word reached me that you’d had a child, I feared that-“

“-Admittedly the first time wasn’t so pleasant, but afterward I was a willing participant in the marriage bed” replied Vaeryna.

“Too think of you laying with that one eyed kinslayer, it made my skin crawl for such a long time,” said Jeyne.

“I made a promise remember” muttered Vaeryna.

“Yes, you did, and if I had more sense about me, I would have stopped you from going to Kings Landing in the first place”.

“I have accepted my position, things with Aemond aren’t so bad” said Vaeryna.

“You sound like you care for him?”

“I have his child, how can I not” muttered Vaeryna.

“I suppose” muttered Jeyne.

“Have you heard from Cregan, how is-“

“The boy is fine” replied Jeyne quietly.

“That’s good” mumbled Vaeryna sadly.

“Who does the other dragon belong too?” asked Jeyne as she looked out the window.

“Rhaegar, I guess” replied Vaeryna.

“Targaryen’s and their dragons” said Jeyne.

“It was bound to happen sooner or later”.

“Not as soon as this though, the boy is barely three moons old” said Jeyne smiling.

“The youngest Targaryen in our history to ever claim a full-grown dragon, no doubt his father will be impressed” replied Vaeryna.

At the mention of Aemond, Jeyne’s smiled disappeared and was replaced with a look of disdain. She didn’t like Aemond and of course she had good reason too, but he wasn’t all bad.

But Vaeryna didn’t think Jeyne would appreciate knowing the details of his prowess in bed, or that he was a generous lover.

“Might I be excused my Lady; I’ve had a long journey and Rhaegar needs his cloth changing”.

“Of course, and less of the lady-it’s Jeyne too you and I’ve had your old chambers prepared, everything you couldn’t take with you is still there” replied Jeyne.

Vaeryna smiled and bowed respectfully to Jeyne who waved her off with a deep sigh.

After Rhaegar had been changed and placed in the cradle, Vaeryna took a moment to think about her life and how things had changed since she was last here.

Her inner disgust at the thought of being anywhere near Aemond and how she came to care for him and eventually feel love.

In the back of her mind, she still thought about Jace, and the rest of her family. Would they be ashamed of her for loving Aemond or would they understand.

Her father had once told her to do what ever she had to in order to survive. To seize her opportunities and use them to her advantage.

As Vaeryna laid on the bed, she thought of Aemond and wondered if he’d stopped sulking yet, which in hindsight was unlikely. He probably wouldn’t stop sulking like a spoilt child until she returned to the Red Keep with Rhaegar.

In retrospect, Aemond was a second son and he never really had anything for himself except for Vhagar and even then, he lost his eye for it but when it came to her and Rhaegar, they were his, in every way possible.

Vaeryna didn’t know how long she’d been asleep, but she awoke to the sounds of someone knocking on her door.

“Just a second” said Vaeryna as she checked to see if Rhaegar was still asleep, which he was, still clutching as his stuffed dragon teddy that Aemond had given him.

Vaeryna moved to open the door and gasped. Standing there in his heavy fur lined cloak was Cregan, his cheeks-tinged pink and his dark hair wild and unkempt.

“Princess” exclaimed Cregan as she swept Vaeryna into a tight hug.

“W-What are you doing here?” asked Vaeryna as she buried her face into Cregan’s shoulder, the fur of his cloak tickling her nose.

“When Jeyne told me you were coming here to visit, I just had to come” replied Cregan.

“H-How is he?” asked Vaeryna.

“See for yourself” said Cregan stepping aside to reveal the small boy leaning against the wall.

“SISTER!”

“Aegon” gasped Vaeryna as she swept her little brother into a tight hug.

[xmads-omensx]

CHAPTER 2 - PLAY WITH FIRE AND YOU'LL GET BURNED

Word Count: 5,558 Content warnings: Swearing, angst, weapons, enemies to lovers, discussions of kidnapping, mentions of being chased

Tag List: @dominuslunae

VANIA

The shrill ring of the incoming call pierced the electric silence that had fallen between Noah and myself. Both of us breathing heavily following out screaming match.

Karius was calling. Fucker saved Noah’s life calling when he did.

I answered the call and K’s booming voice echoed in my ears. Noah was invited on the call too. I was guessing the other OMNS guys were as well.

“I take it you all survived that ordeal with ERRA then?” Karius questioned.

“Yep. No thanks to this bitch you stuck us with.” Noah snarled in reply. 

“Oh fuck you!” I spat back.

“Shut the fuck up!” Karius screamed back through the call.

A beat of silence.

“Thank you. God. It’s like working with unruly children.” K continued. “Look, I’m just checking in after what happened and to let you know that ERRA has tightened their security tremendously since Vania’s job at the  warehouse.”

“See. You’re not as slick as you think princess. You got caught.” Noah smirked smugly.

“No I didn’t asshole.” I barked back.

“No she didn’t Noah.” Karius sighed. “They suspect my boss was behind it and know that she works for me so they were going to go after her regardless of if it was actually her who stole the chip from the warehouse.”

I smirked at Noah. I had won.

A shocked look crossed his obnoxiously perfect face. Asshole.

“Anyway.” Nick entered the conversation with a sigh. “They have definitely upped their game. I couldn’t hack that pretty basic turret earlier. Now I can’t even access the weakest part of their database. We are going into this completely blind.”

“Fuck.” Noah and Jolly muttered.

“We could try and get into one of their allied crews’ systems and infiltrate that way?” Matt suggested.

“That would work except for the fact that ERRA wiped them out like two months ago.” Nick replied with a sigh.

“Fuck.” Noah muttered.

“Any ideas K? Or any useful intel?” I asked.

“Sadly, V, I got nothing for you.” Karius replied.

“Shit.” I muttered.

“Shit is right V.” K continued. “Look, guys, I need this job done no matter the cost so please can you get this mess cleaned up? I don’t care who you have to short circuit as long as the job is done. Got it?”

“Loud and clear boss.” I answered.

A chorus of “yep”s  and “yeah”s echoed in my ears. Noah still glared at me as if this mess was all my fault.

The beep signalling the end of the call apparently gave Noah the go-ahead that he needed to berate me yet again. But instead, he shut his mouth and stormed away from me.

I followed him through the door and up a set of stairs. Neon graffiti decorated the dark walls and multicoloured LED lights hung above my head. It wasn’t what I had expected but I guess the OMNS guys might actually have some taste after all, despite their poor choice of leader.

The staircase led to a corridor with three doors on each side. At the end of the  corridor, where Noah was heading to, was another large open-plan room with a huge table in the centre of it. The table had a holographic map of the entire Concrete Jungle on top of it and it looked as though Matt, Bryan and Jolly were inspecting it closely. Nick sat on one of the chairs by the massive one-way windows that encased the entire space. It looked like he was trying to find other ways to infiltrate ERRA’s operative system.

“Hey you two.” Matt called over to us as we entered the room.

Noah ignored him and walked straight over to the table.

“What are we looking at?” He asked the three men already there.

“We are trying to see where possible turret spots might be. Or other traps.” Bryan answered.

“Would they still use the turrets if they know that we know they have them? Would they not just hide them somewhere we don’t expect?” I suggested.

“Don’t ask stupid theoretical questions, Vania.” Noah sighed.

“I’m just trying to help. That’s what I would do. If my enemy knew for a fact that I had access to turrets and mines, I wouldn’t put them just in high risk areas. I would put them in the defensible areas too. And on top of that, I would place them sporadically with no real pattern to make it harder for my enemy to get in.” I suggested with a shrug of my shoulders.

“God you really seem to have all the answers don’t you princess?” Noah snarled.

“No she has a point Noah.” Matt defended. “Why would they put them in places we would expect? That would make our job so much easier.”

“Fine.” Noah caved. Not wanting to talk back to his crewmate. Matt was the logistics guy after all.

Matt zoomed in the map onto Electric Twilight, the club ERRA owned. “Let’s focus on getting in here before any of us make any rash decisions, okay?” Matt suggested, gesturing at the map in front of us.

Electric Twilight was quite possibly the most exclusive club in the Concrete Jungle. Only the elite got in and even then it was slim pickings. None of us here were wealthy enough to even dare dream about what it might be like inside the club. And besides, ERRA knew who was after them now and would most likely be on the lookout for us.

“Are there any other entrances besides the front door?” Jolly questioned Matt who had enlarged the club on the map.

“Looks like there’s just the one.” Matt began, “Nick! Can you come check this?”

Nick looked up from the wall in front of him and walked over to the table the rest of us had surrounded. His purple eyes glowed intently as he inspected the map in front of him.

“Looks like there is a back entrance through the drain in the alley behind it.” Nick explained.

“Great. So we can go through there?” Noah clapped his hands together.

“Not quite.” Nick started, “We would have a  better shot at this if we split into two groups. Half go through the back and half go through the front.”

“But we can’t get through the front. There’s a bouncer on the door who will, quite literally, kill us if we try anything.” Noah let out a sigh.

“Do we know anything about the bouncer?” Bryan questioned.

“Yep. Looks like he’s full droid. Not a single human cell in his body. But he looks difficult to hack.” Nick explained.

At least he wasn’t a human. He could be controlled more easily.

“Hang on.” I began, “We don’t necessarily need to hack too far into his brain drive.”

“Go on.” Nick replied.

“What if we just alter his optic perception filter? We would go unnoticed. There aren’t any cameras in the club. ERRA don’t want  any lingering evidence of anything that goes on in there.” I explained.

“That actually might just work.” Matt replied. I couldn’t help but smile to myself a little bit. My plan was good.

“Okay so that’s one option. What backups do we have?” Noah questioned, obviously not wanting to go along with my suggestion.

“None.” Matt replied. “We can’t all go in the back and leave the front unwatched. And we can’t all go in the front without getting caught. Vania’s plan seems like our best bet.”

“We will split in two groups. Nick and Jolly take the back, Vania and Noah take the front seeing as Folio is out of this one?” Bryan suggested.

“We need to wait till this ERRA shit calms down slightly. Maybe Folio will be back in business by then?” Noah added. Of course he didn’t want to be alone with me.

“Yeah that’s a good point.” Jolly agreed. “We can’t go in there while this shit is still hot.”

“That does leave us with plenty of time to perfect out strategy.” Matt stated.

“So I guess it’s agreed then. When are we blowing this joint?” I asked.

Noah rolled his eyes.

“Well there’s that big ass party there in about two weeks. That looks like the perfect cover for us.” Matt shrugged.

“That’s perfect.” Nick beamed. “Noah and V could pose as guests and get in on a forged invite?”

“Is that easy to sort?” I questioned.

“It’s easier than just reprogramming the optic perception filter. But I will need to get my hands on an invite chip to see what they look like so I can perfect my forgery.” Nick explained. “I will also need identities that are already on the guest list so I don’t have to hack the optic perception filter as well.”

“So what? We take out two guests and take their place?” I asked. Slightly taken aback by his quick planning.

“Well obviously princess, how else do you expect us to get in there undetected.” Noah snarled sarcastically.

“Great.” I said, completely ignoring Noah. “How do we decide how to take out?”

“Well. We need a man and a woman. Both need to be planning on attending the party together.” Nick elaborated.

“GOT THEM!” Matt exclaimed.

“What?” Noah and I asked in unison. He sent me a murderous glare.

“Persephone and Jaxon Martinez. Both attending together. Big spenders. Very flashy.” Matt went on.

“Great. Where are they?” I questioned.

“Right now, it looks like the are in their shared penthouse over in The Grey.” Matt explained.

Fuck. The Grey was an area of the Concrete Jungle that was largely lived in by the elite. They were tall, flashy buildings but surprisingly had weak security. The problem with this was that what we were going to attempt to pull off was risky and The Grey is a highly populated area and someone would surely notice if two of the elite living there went missing.

“Not tonight. We go and take them out tomorrow night. They will be asleep so we can hit up Bad Decisions before we go.” Noah sighed.

“Better. We can get a solid plan together by then no problem.” Matt agreed with a thumbs up directed at Noah.

“Bad Decisions?” I asked.

“It’s my club.” Noah sneered at me.

“Your club?” I questioned.

“Yes. My club. Jobs don’t keep us working all the time. Jolly co-owns it with me. Folio has the garage and Nick has his tattoo shop next door. Matt and Bryan run a cab service.” Noah explained with a bored tone.

“Oh.” I said quietly. How did I not know Noah owned Bad Decisions? Fuck.

“Oh?” Noah mimicked. “Cat got your tongue princess?”

“Fuck you.” I spat out. “I don’t need your mockery right now. I’m exhausted.”

“Lucky for you, you’re on the couch until this shit show is over.” Noah laughed at me.

“Seriously?” I stated.

“Yes, princess, seriously.” Noah smirked.

This man was going to be the death of me.

Morning broke through the windows and awoke me from my slumber. The couch was surprisingly comfortable, but obviously I would never tell Noah that. The plan was to meet up later on today to plan our mission to take out the Martinez’s so I needed to find something to occupy myself with until then.

I decided to go and check in on Folio and see how he was doing. The only problem was that I didn’t know what room was his. And on top of that I only had the clothes that I was wearing the night before, a tight black zip-up bodysuit that covered my arms and went up to about mid-thigh, a pink cropped sleeveless jacket, knee-high black boots with pink laces and my oversized black jacket just in case it was cold.

Before I even  thought about asking where Folio’s room was, I went down into the garage and got onto my bike and began my journey back to my own apartment.

The daylight made the Concrete Jungle look like an entirely new place. The neon lights no longer emitted the same glow that they did when blanketed in darkness. The tall skyscrapers that were once glowing a rainbow of colours , now stood tall and grey. The light now dulled significantly, but very much still present.

Cars sped along the road alongside me as I sped towards my apartment. It took me about thirty minutes to arrive at my sanctuary. Nowhere felt like home here, but this was as close as I ever came to feeling like I had one. It wasn’t anywhere near as flashy as where OMNS lived, but it was enough for me.

It was a one room space on the top floor of a run-down apartment block closer to the centre of the Concrete Jungle. The kitchen sat to one side with a island that was miniscule in comparison to the one at OMNS’ place. Two of the walls were basically massive windows, giving me a perfect view of the entire cityscape below me. Opposite the kitchen sat a long L-shaped couch with a glass coffee table in front of it. I slept on the sofa as it pulled out into a small bed that was somewhat comfortable. A door next to the main door into my apartment led into a small bathroom.

I pulled out the drawer from under the couch and pulled out clean clothes and grabbed some toiletries from the bathroom as well. As shitty as it was, I was going to miss this place whilst I was away on this job. Like I said, this was the closest to home I had come to in a long ass time.

With one final glance around the space, I mentally said goodbye to this part of my life. This would be the last bit of peace and quiet I would be getting for a long time.

Then, I walked back down the stairs of the building with my bag slung over my shoulder and made my way back to my bike. Closing the building’s front door behind me, I suddenly felt a presence that hadn’t been there before. I was being watched. Careful not to look over my shoulder just in case, I made my way over to my bike.

“And bang. You’re dead.” A deep voice said from behind me. God I would know that insufferable voice anywhere. “It was a stupid idea to come here on your own you know that right, princess?” Noah stated.

“Yeah, well I’m still alive aren’t I?” I replied. Stretching my arms out beside me and dramatically turning in a 360 circle to prove to him that I was very much okay.

“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a stupid thing to do.” He sneered.

“God, Noah, I am fine. Nothing happened. I don’t need your goddamn approval for everything I do.” I sighed in response to his idiocy.

“In case you haven’t noticed yet, princess, I am in charge here. You have joined MY crew. You follow MY rules. And MY rules mean you can’t go anywhere without my say-so.” He said.

“So what, you’re a fucking dictator now?” I crossed my arms.

“To you, yeah. I am.” He replied, also crossing his arms across his chest. Mirroring my actions.

Ignoring him, I swung a leg over my bike and moved to put my helmet on.

“Hey! Don’t fucking ignore me.” He yelled at me.

“What, Noah? I’m heading back now. Is that not what you wanted?” I shouted back.

“For fuck sake, princess!” Noah rolled his eyes again. “What I want is to know where everyone is so I don’t have you going rogue and spilling our shit to ERRA now do I?”

“Is that what you think of me?” I began. “You think that I’m a two-timing bitch?”

“Well you did ditch us on that bridge last night.” Noah muttered under his breath.

“I can hear you asshole.” I shouted back at him.

“Good.” He laughed. “Maybe then you won’t pull that shit again.”

I ignored him and put my helmet on.

“Don’t you dare start that engine princess, we aren’t done here.” He said with an edge to his voice.

Ignoring him for  a second time, I smirked to myself and started my bike before taking off again. Noah got into his stupidly flashy car and followed after me. I can have some fun with this, I thought to myself. Instead of going straight on, in the direction of OMNS’ place, I turned left. Noah followed. Brilliant, I thought. I turned a mixture of rights and lefts. Going in circles and just blatantly in the wrong direction. After about forty minutes of my fun, I got bored and headed back to go check on Folio.

Arriving back at OMNS headquarters, I noticed that Noah wasn’t back yet. The peace that had enveloped me was shortly broken by the revving of an engine behind me. Noah was hot on my tail. When will this hell end?

The driver’s side door of the car opened and a very angry Noah stormed towards me.

“Stop fucking with me, princess.”  He snarled.

“God, Noah it was just a bit of  harmless fun.” I laughed.

“Yeah, sure, because potentially risking your life by pulling a stunt like that is fun?” Noah yelled at me, crossing his arms yet again.

“Seriously, Noah?” I laughed again, rolling my eyes at his ridiculousness.

“Yes, seriously, Vania.” Noah went on. “I don’t want you short circuiting before the job even gets started.”

“Ooh careful hotshot. You’re almost starting to sound like you care about me.” I mocked.

“Oh princess. You couldn’t pay me to care about you. Even in your wildest dreams.” He sneered.

Not wanting to continue this ridiculous conversation, I turned away from him and entered the garage. Matt greeted me in the kitchen.

“Hey V.” He smiled. Nice to see one of these idiots was capable of smiling.

“Hey Matt. Which room is Folio’s? I want to check on how he’s healing.” I asked.

“Yeah sure, it’s the second door on your left upstairs.” He offered with a grin.

“Thanks.” I made my way up the stairs just as Noah entered the kitchen.

The second door on the left was covered in graffiti and shitty drawings of motorbikes. God they had a lot of time on their hands. I raised my hand and knocked, not wanting to surprise him by barging in on him. A faint “come in” sounded through the empty hallway. I slowly opened the door, which creaked as it went, to reveal a dark room that was lit up by orange LED lights. Posters covered a large portion of the walls, all with images of motorbikes and half-naked women. I wasn’t sure what I expected but somehow that still surprised me.

“How you feeling?” I asked lightly.

“Eh. Been worse.” He replied with a weak smile.

Folio sat up in his bed that was shoved into the corner of the room, leaving space for him to leave mess everywhere. Dirty clothes littered the floor. His desk that lined the right-hand wall was covered in disassembled guns that either he had been cleaning, or using to build something.

“That’s good to hear. Mind if I take a look?” I gestured towards the bandages that were wrapped round his middle. His blue and green eyes glowed in the darkness.

“Sure. Have at it.” He lifted his left arm in compliance.

I unwrapped the bandages and dressings to reveal his wound. It had already started healing nicely thanks to the meds we had pumped him with the night before. Bryan had gone on a run to the Underground to grab some crap to make Folio’s injury heal quicker, and it looked like it was working.

“Looks good.” I assured him. “But I would rather you didn’t do anything crazy for the next few days. Take it easy. No jobs till I say so. Got it?”

“You got it doc.” Folio replied with a laugh.

He was so much nicer to be around than Noah.

“Need me to grab you anything?” I offered.

“Nah I’m good, thanks doc.” He answered with a bright smile on his face.

“How long are you going to call me ‘doc’ for huh?” I asked with a jokey side-eye.

“Forever probably… doc.” Folio replied with a smug grin on his face.

“You guys really love nicknames don’t you?” I laughed.

“Keeps shit light I guess.” He said.

“Yeah I guess so.” I replied as I got up to leave. “I mean it Folio. Nothing crazy.”

“Aye aye doc.” He laughed with a mock salute.

I closed the door and headed towards the room at the end of the hallway to meet the others. We still needed to plan tonight’s job.

I could hear a muffled conversation as I approached the room. It seemed heated. Entering the room, it became apparent that Nick and Matt were trying to calm down a very angry Noah.

“What’s going on?” I shouted over the arguing.

“Wow. This just gets better and better.” Noah yelled angrily with a fake laugh.

“What?” I asked again.

“Iris and Jaxon Martinez. Ring a bell, princess.” Noah directed at me.

“Yes, the people we are posing as to get into ERRA’s party, right” I replied.

“Exactly. Now, when were you going to share with the group that they are a MARRIED COUPLE?” Noah changed his anger back towards Matt.

Oh fuck. This was going to massively suck.

Silence fell in the room as what Noah just said echoed through.

“Wait. So does that mean that Noah and I have to pretend to be married?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yes.” Matt answered after a pause.

Shouts of protest from myself and Noah filled the room.

“It’s not like you both have to do anything. Just go in together and stick together. That’s it.” Matt tried to diffuse the tension.

“Sure. Except from the fact that they are constantly touching each other. And the fact that their faces are constantly attached to each other’s.” Noah argued.

“That would have been nice to know before I fucking agreed to this dumbass plan Matt.” I yelled.

“I am not going anywhere near her like that.” Noah shouted in disgust.

“I am also not going anywhere near HIM like that.” I agreed.

“At least you guys are agreeing one something.” Matt suggested timidly.

“Go fuck yourself, Matt.” I screeched.

“We need a new plan.” Noah decided.

“There is no other plan. I have already fixed the invite.” Nick announced.

Fuck.

“Fine. We will just have to find a way around this.” I suggested.

“I cannot believe you are actually agreeing to this.” Noah yelled.

“Get your head out of your ass. It’s for one night then it’s done and we can move on.” I shouted in reply.

“Fine.” Noah caved.

“Great. Now let’s focus on tonight.” Matt sighed.

Noah had a white-knuckle grip on the edge of the table trying to calm his anger and focus on the plan.

Matt pulled up the map from last night again, focusing in on The Grey and zooming in on the second tallest building there. The top floor was lit up blue, indicating the penthouse apartment the Martinezes lived in. It looked like a larger version of how my own apartment looked from the outside, obviously significantly more luxurious than mine was.

A penthouse like this would be difficult to infiltrate as we would have to go up to that floor hopefully avoiding any security cameras that they might have installed and any security guards they have. It appeared that they didn’t own the entire building, which should play into our favour as they wouldn’t be allowed to CCTV the entire building with access from their penthouse suite.

“They don’t have access to the cameras except for the ones directly outside their front door.” Nick told us.

At least that helped us.

“If you go up first, Nick, would you be able to scramble the feed before they notice?” Bryan asked.

“I should be able to, depending on the type of system they use.” Nick answered.

“That’s still too much of a risk.” Noah sighed. “I don’t want to get up there and not have a way to scramble it. We would be asking to get caught by that point.”

“What if we just walk in?” I suggested.

“What do you mean?” Noah asked with a frustrated groan.

“Well, what if one of us knocks with a rouse to get in. Then we grab them.” I explained.

“But what rouse would we go with?” Matt asked.

“That’s the part I haven’t figured out yet.” I sighed.

Noah sighed loudly and pushed himself off of the table. He ran a hand through his perfect hair and began pacing the room in long strides. I was surprised he didn’t make himself dizzy with the amount of laps he did.

“What if you went up and asked for help, V?” Jolly suggested.

“Help with what?” I questioned.

“I don’t know, but people would want to help a young woman in need right?” Jolly went on.

“But these people are assholes Jolly. They wouldn’t give two shits about Vania, and I wouldn’t blame them.” Noah groaned in frustration.

Low blow. Thanks Noah.

“You are going in a good direction though, Nick.” I complimented. “But I don’t have the manpower on my own to take down two people on my own.”

“What if Noah was chasing you?” Matt broke the silence.

“Huh?” Noah and I said in unison. Sharing a glare with each other.

“What if he chased you up the stairs and barged into their apartment? Then you would have the manpower.” Matt elaborated.

“Yes I like that plan.” Nick replied with a snap of his fingers.

“So what, princess here gets a head start and I chase after her?” Noah asked.

“Exactly.” Matt and Nick answered in unison.

Noah and I shared a wary glance before agreeing to the plan. Nick would scramble the feed remotely from the armoured car outside after Noah and I were in the room so that there wouldn’t be any evidence of what we had done.

We explained the plan to Folio as well so he wouldn’t be out of the loop, then began getting together our equipment for the job ahead of us. Luckily for us, we wouldn’t need to bring any extra weapons in with us thanks to my mantis blades and Noah’s weaponised arm upgrades. That would save us a lot of trouble getting out rouse to be convincing enough for me to get into the apartment.

The armoured car was almost completely packed once all of us had taken a seat. When the time came for Folio to join us, there would be no room to breathe. I was sandwiched between Jolly and Noah. Nick and Matt sat opposite us and Bryan was in the front  driving.

The plan was pretty basic. I would run up to their door, looking out of breath and bang on the door saying that I was being chased. Noah would run up after me ‘chasing me’ and hopefully the Martinezes would let me in, and Noah would barge in after, then we would take them out once the door was shut. Sure, there was a lot that could go wrong, but we had planned ways around them as best as we could.

We went over the plan several times on the ride over to The Grey. Noah seemed anxious. His hands twitched, his knee bounced up and down and his brow was furrowed.

Nudging his foot with my own, he looked up at me. You okay? I mouthed at him. He leaned closer until his lips were beside my ear, “Like you care.” He whispered angrily.

I glared at him angrily. God he really was insufferable. I honestly had no idea what I had done to offend him so much, besides the beef he had with my old crew. But the others seemed to have gotten over it, so why couldn’t he?

I turned away from him and looked out of the front window. We were almost there after twenty minutes of driving through the centre of the Concrete Jungle. Now, we were surrounded by skyscrapers and other buildings belonging to the elite. God that life must be incredible. Literally having credits to burn because you were so rich. That would be insane. I could turn away from this crime-filled life forever. No more dealing with Noah. No more pain. Only peace.

My daydreaming was rudely interrupted with a jab in my side from Noah’s freakishly pointy elbow as he shook his head at me. We had arrived at the building where the Martinezes lived. Much like the surrounding buildings, this one was tall. From the ground, it looked like it touched the sky, which was beginning to darken rapidly. Perfect. The building’s purple glow was getting progressively brighter as night encroached on the Concrete Jungle. It was time.

Nodding to the guys in the car, Noah and I began our journey into the building. The plan was to take the elevator halfway up the skyscraper, then walk the rest of the way so we both looked appropriately out of breath.

“This is a dumbass plan, princess.” Noah complained as we scaled the staircase.

“Yet here you are, asshole.” I breathed heavily.

“Not like I exactly had a choice.” He mumbled.

“I didn’t hear you suggest anything better.” I scoffed angrily. I was really starting to get tired of his moaning.

“Not like you gave me a chance. You barged into my life and fucked it up.” Noah snarled.

“Jesus Noah. It’s not exactly like I had a fucking choice in the matter did I?” I whisper-shouted at him.

“You didn’t have to sign that damn contract, princess.” Noah argued back.

“No, Noah. I did have to. One million credits is a big fucking deal.” I retaliated, hoping he would drop this.

“You could have taken a different job.” Noah huffed.

“Noah. How often has an opportunity like this crossed your path?” I snarled back at him.

Silence.

“That’s what I fucking thought asshole.” I finished.

We walked up a few more sets of stairs in silence. The stairwell was brightly lit, with white LEDs encasing us in an almost sterile light. We looked very out-of-place being here. The silence wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it was enough. That was before Noah felt the need to ruin it.

“Why do you need one million credits?” He asked.

“None of your fucking business asshole.” I replied flatly. He didn’t need to know anything about me. It wasn’t like we were friends.

“Just curious that’s all. Wondering what you were going to do with it. I need ideas on what to spend it on.”  Noah replied calmly.

I had never had an interaction with him that wasn’t an argument.

“I don’t know. Rent I guess?” I replied bluntly.

“That’s boring, princess. I mean like something fun. Something cool. You could do literally anything you want with the money and your first thought is paying rent? Just seems boring.” Noah laughed.

“What if I want to save it?” I suggested.

“Why not invest it instead? Buy a business. Start a company.” Noah stated.

“Because I don’t want to, Noah. I just want to survive. Ill worry about having fun later.” I  sighed. Already sick of this conversation.

“You are going to die bored, princess. Live a little. Go crazy.” Noah laughed.

“Since when do you care?” I threw back at him.

His expression changed.

“God, princess I was just trying to lighten the mood.” He snarled at me. Back to classic Noah.

“Well, don’t. We’re almost there.” I finished bluntly.

We both stopped walking and looked at each other for a second. There was a hint of something in his chocolate eyes that was different. I couldn’t quite place it.

“I’ll wait here for a couple seconds then chase you.” Noah stated plainly.

“Sounds good.” I answered.

“Get ready to run, princess.” He said menacingly.

With that, I turned on my heels and began running up the last three sets of stairs. I was completely out of breath when I got to the door at the top of the stairs. I stepped forward and started frantically banging on the door.

“HELP! HELP!” I screamed. Trying to sound as terrified as I could. “He’s chasing me!”

The door opened to reveal a woman about my height with bright blue hair. Iris Martinez. A man stood behind her. He was tall and well built. His hair was orange. Jaxon Martinez.

“Honey, are you okay.” Iris rushed.

“He’s going to get me. You have to help.” I begged, hoping she was buying the act.

“Who is sweetheart?” She knelt down next to me.

“I am.” A deep voice growled from behind me. That’s not Noah’s voice.

I looked up and both Jaxon and Iris wore a smirk on their faces.

I turned slowly and who I saw before me shook me to my very core. I knew this man well. He had made my life hell since before I had joined my last crew with Davis. He had hunted me for years at this point. JT Cavey. ERRA leader Jesse’s right hand.

“Hello again, Vania. It’s time to come home.”

Chapter 3

Anything > Human Masterlist Main Masterlist

[rottingfern]

WIP WEDNESDAY WRITING CHALLENGE

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so all players can find you in the notes), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names (make sure your asks are open!). You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to, and everyone else should in order for the game to run as effectively as possible!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

If you'd like to be tagged next week, let me know!

I'll start:

My WIPS: - brutus in a birdcage - 7hrs or 45mins - the universe and us in the night

-------------------------

There is a clearing here, far beyond the edge of the town, past the coppice, deep enough that one would struggle to not trip on the roots and vines latticing the ground before reaching it. She and Noah used to come here often before Father showed Sign of death, arms full of blankets and stolen fruit. They’d lie together, hidden among the tall grass and wildflowers, matching hair knotted together, selfish in the irrepressible need to share company only with each other.

Noah’s Marked skin would be resplendent in the sunlight, chocolate eyes nearly golden, and a smile so blindingly idolatrous as he looked only at her, it was like Nora were seeing the Light.

There used to be happiness to be found here, true joy and love. This used to be a place they went together to isolate themselves in a different world, one where Father didn’t exist, where the Community didn’t exist, where they could go to imagine what life will be like when they’re free from it all together. 

The incoming storm blows the tall grass flat, the wildflowers long dead in the cold of autumn, and in the rectilineal light of the grey twilight sky, Nora finds a place alone to just. Scream.

from brutus in a birdcage

-------------------------

Tag list: @throughwoodsanddirt @the-way-of-words @signs-of-ill-portent

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Content warnings for this chapter: implied violence, threats, implied sa references

@justalunaticfangirl

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55445686/chapters/140788939

Chapter 3 - Nina

“So just to be clear,” said Nina, leaning back in her chair and studying Kaz across the desk, “All you want us to do is act like students? What the hell kind of job is this?” 

Nina had been in Ketterdam for five months, and she’d considered strangling Kaz Brekker with her bare hands about three times in each of them. And considering that she could just stop his heart if she wanted to, it was a particular statement to just how infuriating he was that she would be willing to put in the effort of strangling him. She’d told him that once, and he took it as a compliment.

“You heard me,” he picked up one of the forged papers Nina and Inej had brought in with them, that were now sitting on his desk, “Use your own names, it’s only more suspicious if you get caught not answering to a fake and no-one there should recognise you anyway,”

“You might have told us that before Specht drew the papers up,” Inej sighed, “Will he be able to change them?”

“Should be,” Kaz tapped the corner of the page in his hand against the desk, and Nina caught her gaze flicking to his black leather gloves, “All you need to do is act like you belong and try to get close to the mark,”

The mark. Nina had thought she spoke Kerch when she landed in this Saintsforsaken city, but talking to Kaz and the rest of the Barrel may as well have been learning a brand new dialect. 

“For how long?”

“As long as proves necessary,”

Nina really was going to strangle this boy. She sighed.

“You’ll have to subsidise my income,”

“You’ll get paid when they job’s done,”

“That’s not good enough,” she said smoothly, ignoring the glance Inej shot her, “You can’t put me out of work for an indeterminate amount of time and not expect me to need the money for it,”

Nina was scraping by as it was. Her salary from the White Rose wasn’t bad, though it could be better, but her commission from the Tailoring was appallingly low and any spare cash she managed to strap together quickly drained away in the endeavours she was refusing to believe she’d reached a dead end in. Kaz nodded.

“We’ll discuss it,”

Inej leaned forwards to collect one of the papers, saying something to Kaz. Nina couldn’t help but wonder why the girl had been put on this job - this wasn’t her specialty, far as Nina could tell, and it didn’t seem to make any difference to the job whether there were one or two of them working on it. Mind you, Nina was glad to know she’d have company and Inej was about the best company she could have hoped for. 

“It’s listed in your application that you’ll require a tutor for written Kerch,” Kaz was telling her, “But I can pull that if you feel you don’t need it,”

Inej glanced at Nina. She spoke Kerch perfectly well, though Nina knew she’d learnt most of it at the Menagerie and there were occasional gaps in her knowledge even of words she would use every day at home - as well a collection of words she only knew in Kerch, that no classroom ever would have taught her - but she was still learning to read the language. Nina had been trying to help her, but she wasn’t convinced that her calling was as a teacher and sometimes wondered if she was actually hindering her. 

“Up to you,” said Nina, in Ravkan, “If you think-”

“Excuse me,” Kaz interrupted in cool Kerch, tapping the table, “Perhaps we can keep this discussion in a language we all understand?”

“Perhaps you could bother to learn another language,” Nina muttered in Ravkan, winking at Inej when she saw her smile.

Making Inej smile felt like winning something; she didn’t seem to have reason to smile nearly often enough. Kaz finished giving them the bare bones of the plan, which was really no more information than they already had or could have guessed at, and Nina and Inej left his office with copies of their enrolment papers in hand. 

“Will Feliks really be happy to let you go for an indeterminate time?” asked Inej, as they walked downstairs together.

Not a chance. But he wouldn’t have much of a say in it.

“I don’t think ‘happy’ would be the right word,” she sighed, “but it’s Haskell who has the last word on wherever I go, and Kaz’s word is an extension of his. Feliks is just my employer, he’s not the one I’m in debt to,”

Inej’s shoulders squared, perhaps uncomfortably, and Nina cursed herself for not biting her tongue a sentence sooner. But the moment passed quickly, and they continued walking together in easy comfort. Nina checked the time - eight bells. She’d have to get back. Inej walked her to the door of the Slat, and as they reached the front Nina briefly squeezed her fingers before she made to leave.

“Sleep,” she told her.

Inej smiled.

“I will if you will,”

Nina shivered as she stepped into the evening air; even her jumper was not enough to keep the cold away. Ketterdam she thought dismissively, rubbing a hand up and down one of her arms. She sighed. This job was making her nervous - it sounded suspiciously easy. What was Kaz after? And what was he getting them into this time?

“Hey gorgeous,”

Nina looked up to see Jesper crossing towards her, and gave him a smile.

“Hey. How’s the arm?”

She nodded vaguely at the spot a little above Jepser’s elbow, where she’d fixed a bullet graze for him not too long ago. Seemingly unconsciously, his hand found the point on his sleeve that the freshly closed skin was hiding beneath and his fingers ran along it.

“Good as new,” he smiled.

“Well,” Nina winked, “I am good,”

Jesper smiled. He was wearing a shockingly dull outfit for him - the only splash of colour, the shimmer of the gems in his mismatched gold and silver rings - and he wasn’t wearing his gun belt. It only took a brief glance to realise he was still carrying his prized revolvers, Nina would probably have been concerned for his health if he wasn’t, but they were hidden beneath his jacket and she wondered why.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, before she could get her own questions in.

Nina avoided the Slat and the Crow Club whenever she could; this hellhole was a means to an end and she didn’t need to sink any lower into it than she already had.

“Talking to Kaz about a job. Where’ve you been?”

“Hell,” he said drily, “But as much as I’d love to chat, I have a shift to get to and I want to get changed before it starts,”

“Don’t let me keep you,” she replied, hopping down the last few steps, “I’ll see you soon,”

It wasn’t a particularly short walk back to the White Rose. Nina headed North as she left the Slat, following the canals as she moved from East Stave onto West. Here the world changed. The streets were alive, because they were alive at almost every hour, with tourists and locals alike dressed in every colour under the sun, their faces hidden beneath masks of the Komedie Brute. It was said - and Nina more than believed it - that the normality of the masks gave people confidence like nothing else. They were themselves, once they were hiding. People would come to West Stave looking for oblivion, sometimes even just to watch the crowds more than sample any of the entertainment for themselves. Or at least that’s what plenty of them liked to claim, anyway. Nina was less convinced by that.

She slipped along the edge of a crowd, trying to dodge between patrons clamouring for attention or downing the drink that was finally going to tip them over into too many. Someone dressed as the Scarab Queen dropped an empty bottle and giggled when it shattered at their feet, whilst Nina tried to pick her way through the broken glass and keep moving. On her way back yesterday, she’d found her arm grabbed by a masked stranger and had to panickedly plunge his heartbeat and knock him out before she hurried onwards, but it seemed she would be luckier today as Goedmed bridge came into view ahead and Nina knew she was almost back. She had to catch herself from thinking almost home. It was an easy habit to slip into, when referring to the place you slept every night. But Nina was several long weeks of travelling away from home, and she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to go back. 

A street performer was shouting something to a gathering crowd, drawing attention with close-up magic tricks before he made some grand announcement and splayed his hands towards an explosion of glitter. When the purple monstrosity had cleared enough that only a shimmer was left in the air, the crowd gasped and applauded at the apparently magical appearance of an acrobat dangling over the canal. A Suli girl, younger than Nina, hanging upside down from a collection of wires with her slender body barely covered by more purple glitter and alarmingly thin scraps of fake silk, her extended arm revealing the swirling tattoo of the Willow Switch. Nina shuddered, and kept walking. 

The White Rose almost looked more like one of the grand townhouses than it did a brothel; tall and slender, with its own dock, a pale facade, and a magnificent collection of white-petaled roses growing up the walls. The smell of the flowers was cloying, hanging over everything and refusing to let go. Nina may very well be stuck smelling of them for the rest of her life, even if she did ever get out of this town. 

“My house girls are as sweet as my roses,” Feliks had told her when she first moved in, clapping his hand over her shoulder uncomfortably.

It had been clear even then that it was a line he liked to feed, but Nina had also since learnt that the roses he used - according to Kaz, the only ones that were strong enough to survive year-round in the hardy weather of Ketterdam - were naturally scentless. Every flower was perfumed by hand, on constant rotation, by the boys and girls in white uniforms who tended to food and drink or anything else clients might need beyond what they had really come for. Some of them were indentured; Nina didn’t know how many, but considering the number of the house girls who were thus she guessed it was a good number. Then again, if that was the case then why did Feliks just have them perfuming roses? His facade was thin enough for her to feel certain he’d be making proper money off the kids if he could. It was part of Nina’s job to Tailor them, paling their skin and turning their hair and irises a vague white - in Feliks’ own words, so that all the decor matched. She slipped them cash, if she could spare it, whilst they were in with her, same with the occasional house girl who needed Healing. It didn’t happen often, but it happened.

But the White Rose was undeniably safer than most, if not all, of the other houses on the Stave - for Nina, at the very least, and as much as it gnawed anxiously in her gut she had to keep herself alive and safe before she started trying to do the same for anyone else - and she had not borne witness to anything like the stories she’d heard of the buildings opposite her and down the street. The girls here were safer, even if they weren’t safe.

She couldn't go through the front door looking like this - messy and out of costume and so on - so she slipped down the side of the building. She actually wasn’t sure if she was supposed to use the front at all; she never had because she never left or returned to the building in the fake kefta she couldn’t enter the lobby without. She’d only seen girls use the front door when clients who’d paid to take them from the building were whisking them away or returning them again, arms often slipped through arms, the girls’ fake giggles and batting lashes somehow fooling them. Maybe they were just willing to be fooled, ready to ignore anything that would crack their illusion. That was what they came for, wasn’t it? A pretty lie. Oblivion. 

As she reached the back of the building, the ugly outline of the Menagerie came into view on the other side of the canal; taller than most of the buildings surrounding it, structured like a tiered birdcage. It was the largest and most expensive house on the Stave, shimmering even as darkness began to close its heavy blanket over the city like a forest fire reflected by a mirrorball. How long since Inej left that place - six months? Seven? Maybe a little longer; she had already seemed to trust Kaz Brekker - if trust was really the right word - when she appeared through a window at the Emerald Palace five months ago and convinced Nina not to take the deal Pekka Rollins’ was offering her. She probably owed Inej her life, for that. Or maybe Kaz, but that was the far more disappointing option of the two. 

Most of it was obscured by other buildings across the canal but where the lower floor of the Menagerie was almost entirely open, held up the columns that became akin to the bars of the birdcage, Nina could see the blurring edge of a girl lying on a sofa. Someone in the red cape of Mr Crimson approached and she slipped her hand into theirs as she sat up slowly, her neckline slipping off her shoulder. The wind picked up and blew goosebumps down Nina’s neck as she turned quickly away to slip through the back door, her mind foolishly concerned that the girl was going to catch a cold in those scant silks.

“Nina,” began Adrian, as soon as she stepped inside.

“I know,” she breathed, quickly hurrying towards the staff staircase, “I’m a little late, but I was with Brekker. I have half an hour, it’ll be fine,”

“No, it’s not that,” he sounded nervous.

Nina turned back to face him. Adrian was about two years younger than Nina, she reckoned, and before she’d started Tailoring him his wide, dark eyes had made him look akin to a doe. Now they were pale and slightly unnerving, but as someone for whom Tailoring did not come as easily as it did others she thought she’d done a decent job. He fidgeted with the sleeve of his white shirt, threatening to mark the cuffs if he wasn’t careful.

“He scheduled you three more clients, this evening,”

Nina resisted the urge to scream. When had she last slept? Apparently it would have to wait. The rich of Ketterdam having their minds relaxed and their emotions altered took precedence over anything else, and definitely her.

“Fine. Who?”

“That might be the concerning part,” Adrian shuffled, “Two folks from the Zelvar District, one who’s been before, one I didn’t recognise,”

Not much of a problem. And if it was a first visit then maybe it would be more of a consultation about what they wanted than it would be actually altering moods. Maybe it would be marginally less tiring. But Adrian still looked nervous, and his voice had trailed away.

“The third?” she prompted.

Adrian bit his lip.

[maimedaffair]

knowing your partner can potentially make writing together a lot easier.

– BASICS.

✧ NAME: char ! ( charlie or hope is also accepted ♡ ) ✧ PRONOUNS: they / them ( femme terms are also fine ! i will answer to any pronouns frfr. he makes me giggle. ) ✧  SEXUALITY: queer ( lesbian mostly. i like mlm bois but i am afab & femme so even if im non-binary ... doesn't usually swing my way ya know. ansdfkasf ) ✧  TAKEN OR SINGLE: single ( & looking. 💋 anfdjksf )

– THREE FACTS.

✧ i am disabled bc my equally disabled mom had me at 40 years old ~ government recognized level of disability , too. took 3 years to prove it enough to get supplemental security income, though. i was mostly fine until i was like 16 & it has only gone downhill since then. ( dysautonomia / pots , h-eds , cci , ibs , fibromyalgia , pcos , vaginismus , ++ good ole autism & bpd combo. tldr ; my body should not function yet here i am. ) all of my disabilities are genetic , as my mom has the same list. ( yes , i have mommy issues. anyway. ) ✧ i have a very southern accent & fall into the category of y'allternative. ✧ i cannot say no. i was cursed by a faerie when i was a baby. ( im in therapy for it NASJDFKNA ) nah but frfr i am a people pleaser.

– EXPERIENCE.

✧   HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): 18 years ! ( PUT ME OUT TO PASTURE. ) ✧   PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: myspace , twitter , tumblr , discord , kik , roleplayer.me ✧   BEST EXPERIENCE: i met one of my very best friends through tumblr rp !

– MUSE PREFERENCES.

✧   FEMALE OR MALE: i've always thought i had a preference for female muses , but i truly write my guys the most i think. ✧  FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: smut happens a lot for me. angst is always good. fluff is fine , but it usually leads to smut so this is a circle. ✧   PLOTS OR MEMES: memes ! i like spur of the moment. you ask me for a plot and i will lock the fuck up. ✧   LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: medium tbh ? like i rarely give short replies but i'm not out here writing 8 paragraphs usually. ✧   BEST TIME TO WRITE: night time for sure. i get way more done. ✧ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): i write 150+ muses. i definitely gravitate more towards characters i can understand & empathize with, for sure. if i can't grasp their motivations or thoughts, it's hard to write them. as for who i relate to most, i'd say ... penelope ? lola from reign ? 𝓇𝒶𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓁 𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓇𝓎 ?

TAGGED BY: nobody <3 TAGGING: idk whoever is up.

[calebs-hangout-corner]

(Long happy/?? rant incoming. Sorry, I just saw your account and had to talk to someone about this)

Ough. I've been thinking about when I read the original The Ghost Next Door book and it honest-to-God changed my mind or something because no book I've read so far is as of high reputation in my mind as that. Maybe it was because I was younger and hadn't read as much, but I have had it in my head for like a month now to Get That Book for myself. My school library has like twenty or so of the books but not that one!! When I saw the Goosebumps collection I was like "NO WAYYYY" but then I got really disappointed when it wasn't there. I need to ask the librarian if they can get it LOL.

Anyway, I remembered it again after going through a nostalgia blog and I searched the tag. Lo and behold, there was your blog! I don't remember any of the other plots very well (from the ones I read; the bookshelf where I originally read it was TINY and barely ever had GB books), nor any of the characters aside from Hannah and Danny, but nevertheless I'm enjoying your Goosebumps art and content a lot. Btw your art style is awesome. :D

I'm now desperate to find somewhere to watch the original 90's show. I've seen it's on Google Play or whatever and Microsoft, but I need to look into that. Help is appreciated, if you know where.

But I guess my question is: what books do you recommend? I like both the standard and the choose your own adventure ones (idk if there are any others). I read/started reading The Haunted Mask, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, Welcome to Camp Nightmare, The Ghost Next Door (duh), Let's Get Invisible, Monster Blood, The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, The Girl Who Cried Monster (I think. That's the one where the guy eats the bugs or whatever, right?), Escape From Camp Run-for-Your-Life, You Can't Scare Me, Scream of the Evil Genie and/or Be Careful What You Wish For (one of them, lol, maybe both. I think it involved a cola can?).

Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks for reading this long-as-hell ask and also thank you if you respond! Obviously, no pressure. Hope you have a great week and good things come your way!

P.S., you got me to start listening to the Goosebumps the Musical: Phantom of the Auditorium soundtrack and it's so good.

-👻🪐 (I hope emoji anons are okay, just in case there's a follow-up ask or something)

Hello!!! This message is very sweet and I had fun reading it, thank you! I'm sorry it took me a day to respond, I was a little busy!

I hope you're successful in finding the book. My library has the opposite problem: It has no books except Ghost Next Door (germany doesn't really sell them anymore, so they're hard to come by, even in libraries). Also, all the Goosebumps episodes you can find on YouTube somewhere! There's many reuploads of them.

As for books I'd recommend, you've already read a few of the ones I really like! But if you need more my favorites you haven't read from the series' you mentioned liking include:

- Phantom of the Auditorium (but like the book version! Very good, very fun, really emphasises the "the gang shares one braincell" part)

- Werewolf Skin

- Calling All Creeps

- Night of the Living Dummy 1 and 2, I've heard the third is good too but that one actually didn't manage to hold my attention, but maybe it will for you!

- Welcome To Dead House (This one's fun)

- Piano Lessons Can Be Murder (I just think it's neat)

- A Night In Terror Tower (Again, I just think it's neat!!), This one also has a "Give Yourself Goosebumps" sequel book "Return To Terror Tower) I recommend aswell!

- Beware, The Snowman!

As for the Give Yourself Goosebumps books I'm like "Please Don't Feed The Vampire"

Those are the books I'm fond of. It's a bit of a list, I hope you don't mind!

[someidiotwithalaptop]

In today's installment of unnecessarily complicated bullshit coded by your local compsci reject at 5am: literally every* rwby ship tag ID on AO3

If you've ever wanted to be able to search for all fics tagged with an OT3 or all three of its composite pairings, well. uh. here's how to do it

Long post incoming!

Tag IDs are unique numbers associated with each tag, and if you chuck this:

filter_ids: 12345

into the "Search within results" field on AO3 (or "Any field" if you're in the Advanced search), it will filter for all fics that have tag #12345. This is basically useless unless you know what numbers go to which tags (we'll get to that in a sec), but if you do, then you can do fun stuff like this:

filter_ids: 1072769 OR filter_ids: 994409

(Which translates to Bumbleby OR Whiterose)

This lets you search for fics with either tag A or tag B instead of only fics that have both. Afaik not something the nice filtering UI is able to do.

Searching for Bumbleby AND Whiterose just involves tossing two of those "filter_ids" thingies into the search together like this:

filter_ids: 1072769 filter_ids: 994409

You can also combine them like so:

(filter_ids: 1072769 filter_ids: 1325904 filter_ids: 1059208) OR filter_ids: 2397525

((Bumbleby AND Freezerburn AND Monochrome) OR Bees Schnees)

to look for all fics with either both of the first two tags or the second tag. I've been messing around with this a bit and so far it's been letting me make my searches as long and complicated as I want.

(EDIT: okay so trying to put 683 tag filters in at the same time will return an error...)

Anyways, getting back to what the fuck are these numbers even, I put an explanation of how I found them over here (sort of, in practice I used python to do most of the legwork because jESUS FUCK THERE'S OVER 2,000 OF THEM). But for those who don't want to spend ages poking around in html code, I present:

The Fuckoff Giant Text File Of RWBY Relationship Tag IDs

It should be possible to download it if you'd like, but at least for me google docs is willing to show a searchable preview! Just hit ctrl+F and type in the ship you're looking for.

Keep in mind that these are mostly** going to be listed the way the canonical tag appears on AO3, i.e. "Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long" will get a hit, but "Yang Xiao Long/Blake Belladonna" is not in the giant text file at all.

**(I did get rid of parentheticals clarifying the fandom, i.e. "Summer Rose (RWBY)/Reader" is listed as just "Summer Rose/Reader")

Also, these are sorted by tag ID, so this is (I think???) a list of every ship tag in this fandom in chronological order of when they were first tagged, since the tag IDs are assigned sequentially.

*(this file contains every single ship to the best of my knowledge. I probably did miss some and I could only scrape the ones that had already been created at the time but. but.

Amber/Ilia Amitola/Blake Belladonna/Maria Calavera/Elm Ederne/Pyrrha Nikos/Penny Polendina/Ruby Rose/Salem/Weiss Schnee/Ciel Soleil/Emerald Sustrai: 101267707

but I REALLY DID GET A LOT)

so uh. yeah! someone take python away from me askjdflskjdf

[parameciam]

i'm so tired of fandom police and people that demands that i justify why i like the things i like / ship the things i ship -.-

CW: mentions of SA, CSA, ableism + long rant incoming about my own experience in fandom as an autistic person

this morning i stumbled on a post (not here) about my fav ship, saying that we should talk about a certain scene (dubcon) and that their shippers never talks about it.

i read the whole thing and ended up so fkn annoyed and spent all day thinking about why i was so mad.

it's not because someone doesn't like my fav ship, btw, i couldn't care less about other people ship preferences. i only care about my own and wish everyone else did the same so i can enjoy my "problematic" things in peace, thank u very much.

it wasn't about the dubcon part either, i know it's triggering, it's complicated, and many people won't ever ship them because of that. no one is required to ship them, or like them at all, btw. (addendum: it's a canon side ship, not fanon) and of course i'm not going to question other people's squicks and triggers, esp since i was sexually abused as a child.

and then it dawned on me that that i was mad because the post wasn't really an invitation for us shippers to share our views on them. it was an invitation for other people to be scandalized with them about shiping something like that, and since they directly mentioned the ship and the characters, i stumbled upon it.

for a moment i contemplated the possibility of actually replying and going meta over my blorbos, but decided against it because i don't have the emotional capacity to participate on discourse without fear of ending up having a meltdown.

but i kept thinking of how this kind of thing has happened all my life: the things i like, the ships i ship, the characters i love, the media i consume, and the ways i enjoy them have always been questioned (for different reasons across time). being autistic equals being perceived as wrong, broken, too much, too little, too weird (long list of misc etc) and people outright tells you that or shows it anyway, even if they think they don't lol so I'm like, extra tired of feeling excluded and/or constantly being made to feel wrong and immoral.

it's not like i don't know that some of the thinks i like/write/read etc are dark, morally wrong, unsafe irl, etc. it's just that i enjoy all that in fiction, i think it's a safe place to explore delicate issues and themes, and esp enjoy finding the nuances that the narrative wants to explore. i love imperfect victims, i love good people making wrong choices, i love the realism of gray characterization.

i don't anyone to tell me shit i already know, i have eyes, i read/watched the same novel/manga/whatever. maybe we have different interpretations, but that's it. i don't think i'm morally superior, nor do i want to be. what i do want are discussions in good faith.

maybe that's why no one mentions that scene either, because we already know how that's going to go (and it's already a small side of fandom, so why bother).

sorry for the looong ramble, i needed to get this out of my system. i don't want to tag the ship/fandom because this was mainly about my own feelings and don't want to bring hate or initiate discourse about them.

in fact, most of my thoughts and feelings about them are going to take the form of a fic relatively soon: i don't feel qualified to write meta about them 😅 but i want to explore so many things about them, and disability, and ableism, autonomy, agency, etc etc etc.

[wordsbymae]

Oh what about Farmer with a horse girl? Does he have horses. My dream is to basically be a hometeader so I keep wondering what his farm has.

Oh yeah, he has horses!! Ok, so this is how I view his farm. He has the homestead of cause, which is this pale yellow colour (for some reason? it's not even a colour I like, but it's what I imagined it as when I wrote the first one). It's two stories with a wrap-around porch and has big white shutters with those pretty shaped cut-outs.

Then the infamous barn is the stereotypical red and white barn. But it's seen better days. The red is more of a dull/brownish red and the white has chipped away and now it's more wood than paint.

I see him having a few fields of wheat/barley. This is more of a way to feed his animals rather than a profit. But if he has enough left over he will sell.

His main profit is his bulls. I don't see him being able to sell cattle for meat or anything too intensive. It's mostly just him and he only gets seasonal workers to help with the harvest or just when he needs them. So instead he runs a bull stud. Breeding the best bulls in the state. It's a small operation but he charges a hefty price for quality so it works. He has about 2 bulls he keeps for 4-5 years before replacing them, and about 30-50 cows/heifers depending on the season.

Then he has his pigs, thats how his father made his money breeding boars, but pigs are noisy as all hell, so the farmer has it more as a side project rather than the main source of income. He has a pair he keeps and he then sells the litter.

Then he has his chickens, a good 20 of them. One big red rooster and all the rest hens. He sells the eggs he doesn't want either as produce or as incubator eggs. He has this huge chicken coop he built himself.

Then he has one or two dairy cows. He breeds them with his bulls and shares the milk with the calf. Or sells the calf depending on if it's a bull calf. Doesn't sell the milk, but uses it for himself (after pasteurisation of course). He'll most likely sell the heifer calf later on.

Then there are the horses. He doesn't have many. Maybe one or two and they're used as transport mainly through his fields or to round up the cattle. They aren't anything special either just quarter horses, but they get the job done. I can see the horse girl reader just falling in love with them and getting mad when they find out he calls them Horse, and Also Horse. Reader will braid their hair and beg farmer to let them go for rides. He agrees as long as he's with them.

Then he's got a cat that just roams around. He doesn't even own it really. It just showed up and never left.

Then there are his working dogs. If I hadn't implied he was from the Us south/Texas, I would have given him kelpies. They are the best working dogs! At least in my biased australian opinion. I was thinking of giving him cattle dogs (blue/red heelers), cause they are recognised in the States but cause his cattle are breeding stock he won't want the dogs to be overly aggressive and bite their heels (they can be trained out of them but easier to get another breed).

Ok, I did some googling and cause I have three kelpies myself, I'm giving him some. I don't care if the us doesn't recognise the breed (rude) but it's not unheard of for them to be used in the States. So yay! Anyway, he only has two cause he has such a small herd. They aren't inside dogs cause they are primarily working dogs so they get this nice kennel outside. And cause I love country music and by extension, he does too, they are called Pancho and Lefty.

He also has a veggie garden and grows most of his own food. If you are a vego/vegan DO NOT go into the small shed out the back. That chicken he took in there does not come back out alive.

Anyway! Hope you liked it. I got a bit over the top

tag list: @floraroselaughter @psyche-entwined-in-love

[catgirl-pawbs]

ROSIE HOBBYING UPDATE

though,,, I've said it a few times in a few places but I'm super enamoured with the concept of having different names for different contexts though I've been bad at actually doing it and the name I'd like to use in online spaces / for people I don't know irl is Ryuuka (I know I had another online alias/name before that i streamed under for 2yrs but due to Events I now hate being called that so all 3 of u that know it that name is dead to me now please forget) so I suppose instead I should write

✨🎀RYUUKA HOBBYING UPDATE🎀✨

LONG POST INCOMING sorry if I take up ur whole dash

so I tried to search my blog for the "hobbying" tag to see what I have and have not posted recently but lo and behold,

tumblr is truly the functional of webbedsites, I KNOW ITS THERE I PUT IT THERE now please show me !

except it won't if course because it sucks.

so anyway I'm gonna start typing about things and hope I get everything I haven't posted and nothing I have.

something like three weeks ago, I finally got to play a match of Warhammer 40k with my older brother! this had been in the making in a way since 2014(-ish I don't remember), when this same brother introduced myself and my other brother to the concept of Warhammer and all three of us bought models. sadly both brothers quickly discovered the "building and painting" portion of the hobby and promptly dropped out, one of them giving his T'au models to me because I LOVED THIS SHIT.

anyway I think I posted about all this before and that Match In Question wherein I took 500pts of Grey Knights (Brother-Captain, Terminator Squad, Strike Squad) against my brother's 500pts Imperial Guard (Commissar, Guardsmen regiment, 3x Mortar Crew models, Sentinel, Leman Russ)or something like that I didn't read his list. Unfortunately this battle ended with my noble Grey Knights getting summarily decimated and right tabled by the mighty power of the autocannon-equipped Leman Russ if that bastard Russ wasn't already dead I'd kill him myself

again I'm fairly sure I've posted about this before so I'll stop there and not add images.

also before I continue (to explain why points counts might seem weird to other 40kplayers) I should note that I have been and will continue to be playing Fifth Edition Warhammer 40k, because those are the books that I have. New books are hellishly expensive and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to reasonably use wahapedia so anyone who is going to tell me to play a more recent edition please kindly do one of the following;

1.) shush.

2.) buy me the books urself since you can afford it

3.) go get intimate with a cactus.

Now! about a week ago, a little less, I got to play ANOTHER match of 40k! a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. this time with a friend who has an adjacent interest in similar sort of games and who helped me build the felt-and-aquariumplant terrain pieces Im certain I posted pictures of before though I can't go check >:|

This match was again 500pts and featured both my lovely new terrain and the following armies;

TYRANIDS. >Tyranid Prime (boneswords, devourer) >3xRaveners (rending claws) >5x Ymgarl Genestealers >10xHormagaunts (adrenaline glands) >10xTermagaunts (devourers)

GREY KNIGHTS. >Brother-Captain (mastercrafted storm bolter, mastercrafted nemesis force sword) >5xTerminator (mastercrafted storm bolter [justicar], mastercrafted nemesis force sword [justicar]) >5xStrike Squad (nemesis force halberds [all], mastercrafted storm bolter [justicar])

it was great! took about 4 hours because I hadn't memorized everything yet and my friend/opponent was new to 5th but we had a good time despite getting real exhausted by the end of it there are too damn many numbers to remember

I'm still super happy with how the new terrain looks!! sure it's very Amateur Hour and doesn't look ~realistic~ but I love it and am very proud of it!

Unfortunately in this match, the Grey Knights not played by me this time again tasted bitter defeat. I begin to think that list I made just sucks. or that the army needs a larger point total to make a functional list. further experimentation needed.

First blood was taken by the Knights shooting down a few(2) Hormagaunts, which was repeated in the next turn gunning down another 5 of them. the remaining gaunts took shelter for their lives behind a small copse of trees, though the Knights' Terminators quickly closed to finish their prey.

the Nids took revenge in the Genestealers flanking and stealing the jeans off the Strike Squad, without a single loss.

Finally came the crushing melee of the Raveners charging the Terminators and Captain from the cover of the ruins, slowly inflicting death (with great difficulty and losing one of their number due to those incredible 2+saves), eventually being joined by the Tyranid Prime and Genestealers in finishing off the stragglers.

the Termagants... yeah. those guys were there. they mostly just hung around. fired off 40?-ish shots and inflicted a total of 1 wound. good job guys. worth every point, truly.

Unfortunately because I failed to teach the game and remember the rules properly, this match was unbalanced, as the Terminators were not making 2 melee attacks per turn as they should've and I'd forgot to roll for the Nids instinctive behaviour rules (though the only difference that would've really made was the already useless gants running for cover if they failed)

It was a good learning experience and we had fun though!! surely we'll have a better and more heated match next time! ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

that kaomoji looks kinda haunted,,

In other news! yesterday I finally took the time to get my printer in Operational Condition again! this means that, after being more than a month with only one arm, my Knight Armiger Warglaive proxy (model courtesy of u/johnbearross on reddit) is finally fully operational! catgirl very extremely excited about this one

additionally, though I do need to print another warglaive and two helverins still, I've started on printing the bigger boy, a Questoris Knight Paladin proxy (model credits the same), something I've been excited to do for forever and the next step towards the biggest finalest goal; the Imperator Titan

base and left leg printed (6h each), right leg in production (another 6h) (also I know the quality is bad because of the flash but my kitchen's lighting is awful and I promise without it looks worse) (don't mind the bag of rice in the bg, girl's gotta eat)

FINALLY, the most recent development in Ryuuka's Hobbying;

MY BOYS??!??! MY BEAUTIFUL LOVELY SPECTACULAR BOYS????? THEY ARRIVED TODAY!!

bit of a story on this one, but first; I know that I told one of my dear friends like 6months ago that the next time I bought gunpla of get one for u too and we sat down and picked one out for u and everything and I didn't forget I swear but I shouldn't've even bought these boys since I have a lot of debt going on, the only reason I did is that on god man I need a distraction project or the depression is gonna Get To Me (not that it doesn't already but,) so like. When I actually have spare money instead of spending money I don't have I WILL get u that gunpla and we will build them together I didn't and am not gonna forget.

Okay so the deal with these boys is that I was talking to a friend recently about how I really like the appearance of Mass Production Mobile Suits over the special Gundam suits (unpopular opinion but I hate gundam suits' horns/crests, I think they look so so silly), in particular I love the look of the DaggerL and the Rgm-79 GM, but I really don't like the GM's helmet, I feel that it dramatically detracts from my man's vibes since the GM is made of angular and square segments and then the helmet is ROUND and also the visor is really large and open, giving it something of a 'friendly' (anthropromorphizing, I know) look that really doesn't suit the rest of it's design. In the same moment I was lamenting this design contradiction, a guncannon came on screen, which has a helmet with a narrower visor, and a- well I guess it's called a visor too but the shade thing some helmets have like a built-in imitation ballcap thing and anyway the Guncannon's head design gives it a much more 'serious' look that I feel would fit great on the GM, and the GM's more open and round design would fit right in with the Guncannon's rounded limbs and fuckoff huge shoulder-mounted cannon barrels.

So immediately in that conversation I had something of an epiphany of this and decided that I HAVE TO make a headswap of those guys and NOW IM DOING IT except what I need right now is a project so we're taking it a couple steps further

I'm gonna trim these guys all out of the runners, file the nubs, label all the parts with masking tape and little baggies, swap the head parts, then going one colour/runner at a time, prime them black, paint them, panel line them, sticker them, top coat them, and ONLY THEN will I finally start assembling them

I've never painted a gunpla before but the best way to start is a headfirst dive into conkcrete babey let's get it

also I want to try weathering on my GM, nevermind that I've never tried it before and have no idea how, and each kit will be getting a different topcoat; glossy for the Guncannon because I want my boy to look like fun lil candy apple lad, and matte for my GM because I want it to be a semi-realistic Setpiece build.

also been thinking about utilizing the power of masking tape mid-painting process to add stripes of red to GM's arm&leg armour, but currently unsure if I want to follow through with the idea.

kay I think that's everything that's a lotta words I've been typing for forever it's 3am im not checking for typos I'm gonna sleep now goodnight gamers, nyan~

[twoplayergame]

about your tags on my post, explain to me anything you want about your bmc aus I'm curious

(rubbing my gay lil hands together) you've opened the floodgates i hope you know, so i'm sorry in advance for the walls of text incoming aha.

BUT ANYWAY!!!!

this week (oct 9 to oct 13) is THE exact same dates as the week my LIS AU "Life is Weird" takes place (in 2017 tho), so this infodump will be ALL about that AU in particular!!! also bc the 6-year anniversary of the blog was last month ♥

my icon on this blog is my art from that AU too :]c

EDIT: putting this under a cut actually, so i don't have a mile-long post lol. also, i think i'll make a pinned post with a list of all my other AUs for reference! i have a LOT of half-baked ones i'd love to talk about as well

so:

Life is Weird is a Life is Strange-inspired AU i created in 2017!

the askblog it started with (@asklifeisweird) follows Michael as the protagonist (a la max caulfield), and Jeremy as the equivalent to chloe price.

there's a couple more roles that were originally fairly 1:1 (squip as jefferson, rich as nathan, chloe as victoria, christine as kate, dustin as rachel), but over the years they've mostly grown away from being "reskins" as me and my boyf keep developing the au!

i've also stolen several characters from the BMC book– either entirely or just in name– to fill the background space/chars, since LIS has a whole world of characters and BMC as a musical kinda... didn't, at least back in the day :'D now there's more named bg chars, but keep in mind this AU started before even the 2017 Exit82 revival, so we had uhhh about 11 characters and a book. anyway.

while the askblog itself hasn't exactly gotten very far in the story yet, the au has grown to include more LIS-based ideas as That franchise grew, alongside a lot of our own brainstorming ofc!! there's SEVERAL other stories planned following other characters besides Michael, and a lot of different timelines i'd LOVE to explore (some during blog canon, some just in side stories)

not to mention: since conception, the blog has gone through so many styles of getting the story out there that i consider it a multimedia project at this point. askblog with square panel comics in between, full-on comic pages, writing/fics... and most recently, bust-sprites with different expressions and text in between. i'm also working to add interactive fiction into the mix!!

Michael's story (nicknamed "Redshift" behind the scenes) mostly follows the same beats as the first LIS game, but the further in we get the more we've added to it. i'm especially excited for the LIW-equivalent to the alternate timeline LIS1 shows in (iirc) ep4, as well as the timeline post-Redshift that's inspired by the LIS1 comics :)

shifting tracks, i mentioned this was started Before the first musical revival. because of that and the revival coming out like 2 months later, a lot of the original character designs were based off the 2RT/2015 cast, the E82/2017 cast, or entirely headcanon-based. since then, as more productions happened, appearances have shifted or changed completely!

off the top of my head, some of the more notable ones are:

jeremy: 2RT for current, E82 for younger

brooke: E82 for current, 2RT/NYC for younger

dustin: originally all headcanon, now mainly E82 with some hc

jenna: originally 2RT, now mainly NYC

jake: originally 2RT, now NYC + clothing insp from 2RT

i'd like to take inspiration from other productions as well tbh, but i can't change full appearances much anymore since i've done the fullbody sprites already and i don't wanna completely redraw anyone if i don't have to XD

ok so. i WOULD keep talking but i've realised i have to get ready to see the BACCP production today!!! so i'll leave you off with the AU blogs if you wanna know more or read it or whatever! or feel free to send me more asks, i love this AU with all my heart :]

@asklifeisweird (main/ic askblog)

@bemorestrange (extra content/ooc sideblog)