sibyl-vane-but-badass

[sibyl-vane-but-badass]

My brain really be working real hard to release some serotonin like i be sitting there feeling crappy af then see a cloud and think "it looks like a strawberry <3" and boom im back to my romanticizing life and feeling all mushy inside self

[sibyl-vane-but-badass]

There is no sadness like seeing your loved ones in toxic relationships. You know they deserve so much more, that the people they think is the right one is so wrong. And as much as you try to make them see the truth its their choice in the end. At times the toxic partner notices your intentions and make them slowly drift away from you, and it hurts. Because its someone you cared about choosing to let you go instead of having a confrontation with that person. Like they chose to have a quieter sunday afternoon instead of you. Even if there was confrontation you were apparently not enough to draw the line. Sometimes they just dont want to accept that their partner is toxic and push you away. Maybe its because they don't want to feel pitiful or they are too in love to break up so they want to ignore all the red flags. Whatever it is it hurts too. But what hurts even more than these is seeing them change. Everything you think you know about this person is now crafted by the partner. Their appearance, interests, hobbies, likes, hates, preferences, ideas; if something doesnt fit into the partners standarts its gone and replaced. Just like that one day you dont know the person in front of you anymore. But what can you do? At that point you will just seem like nuisance. Who likes hearing about how changed they are? Lets say they listened, will it fix anything? If not do you want to have this new person in your life? Will you be fine with never having the same connection again no matter how much you try? Or is it better to just leave?

[sibyl-vane-but-badass]

Couple months ago i was whining about my baby fever. First a cousin got pregnant, then my neighbour (with twins), then another cousins wife and now another cousin. 5 BABIES AT ONCE. I had much more important wishes. Like i've also been wishing for a villa in italy for years now. Where is that huh? WHERE IS MY VILLA LIKE A SINGLE VILLA WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH TF IM SUPPOSED TO DO WITH 5 BABIES??? I don't mean to sound ungrateful but whatever higher power is doing this needs to sort these wishes out cus this aint how its gotta go

[sibyl-vane-but-badass]

Do you ever just put some oils on your hair and tie it real hard and think wow so this is how 20s men walked around like. And honestly we should bring it back. World needs its greasy boys back.

[sibyl-vane-but-badass]

Sometimes i feel like i haven't lived. I suffocate myself with the thoughts of regret. I blame me for not disobeying the rules to live a little, for not making enough memories to look back and smile knowingly. I feel so wasted away like i did all the wrong choices along the way. But i know its not true. Because living is not about grand moments like in coming of age movies. If you read stories that made you feel something, did your best to be a good person, have songs you can never pass when its on then you did just fine. Not falling in love, having a small circle of friends or no friends at all, feeling guilty over your past and all is okay. Still didnt get your first kiss? Completely normal. Your personality back then seems embarrasing now? Happens to the best of us. Never went to a party or went out with friends at night? Its never too late, you can still have this in your future at better times. So stop tearing yourself up over these consuming thoughts. Life is not short. Life lies ahead of you with unimaginable possibilities and everything you've ever went through was for making you the way you are to welcome them.