#anyways if you read my entire thought process i'm sorry. i don't even think it makes sense i'm just posting it because i like others

[blood-mocha-latte]

(well, I know I'm gonna be) i'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

(ranting under the cut ig)

ok hi welcome to rie's crazy woman hours. she's here she's queer she has nothing going on which is inherently evil for her so she did this. good day and i hope you didn't click on read more. this is going to make no (0) sense thank you

so once upon a time two days ago i was listening to i'm gonna be (500 miles) by the proclaimers which is a bop of a song. king of silly beats. the og upbeat silly song with Lyrics Of All Time

so of course being a sane and normal person i went heh. just like skip and later malarkey's whole arc. because it's a silly beat and it's almost a game, and then all at once you realize your not playing the game anymore and you're not just listening to the song but you're LIVING and that's the hardest part of everything. no one survives having to live, no matter how you do it

and the game changes from 'we'll grow old together. we'll survive this and we'll climb this mountain and run back down for six miles, over and over again, and we'll do it together until we run out of breath, and we'll run out of breath together' and instead becomes, like most relationships of that nature do, 'where did you go?'

because in the end, especially for malarkey, everything was a game until it wasn't. sonder didn't exist until he met a german soldier from eugene oregon and retrieved dead men's laundry. you ran up currahee and you hated sobel and that's it. and then everything changes, and it's cold and you're freezing and there's not enough food but it's ok because you're still laughing with your friends and you all have numb hands.

and then you're the only one with the numb hands, and no one is laughing, and everyone is gone, and it was never a game at all. and it's lonely.

ok bye 👋

[nephilimbrute]

ok since you guys don't know anything about my agent 8's personality, i'm doing a huge infodump on them. enjoy

Agent 8; they/them, nonbinary — 24 as of current time, in a relationship with Agent 4 and Captain 3

they're pretty, but also one of the worst people you'll meet. everyone who met them has had something terrible happen to them, basically a bad omen...yet they still think they're a saint! 8 is very narcissistic, but also very self-critical. they think they can be the only one to do something, that they're the best at it...but they know this is wrong, so they hate themself for it

they think they're a very fragile and innocent being, like a deer. they want to live a calm and steady life, no excessively loud or overwhelming sounds and music, just them and their close ones. they enjoy writing poetry and creating art to the likes of vincent van gogh, but also impressionism in general. they have a very bad memory now, so they want to capture the present time as best as they can if it ever gets worse. often times, 8 thinks about any big events that are coming up in the near future (concerts, festivals, etc.). they don't like to think about the future outside of these things (was team present if that wasn't obvious)

they used to be full of emotion, expressing and voicing their thoughts well. but slowly over time, they've became numb to most things to prevent themself from being embarassed by...sadness. they think being upset is embarassing, and are easily annoyed by gloomy people. they have such little sympathy, but it still exists. they are capable of love! it's not hard to crack through their shell, nor do they even have one. 8 themself is aware of how they've changed over the years, and they want to go back to how they used to be; loving, sympathetic, mindful of others. they do feel very sorry for the change in their personality, but the partial sanitization that was done to them makes it difficult to revert to their old self

8 feels like they're putting up a front when they want to be nice, and, they can be compassionate and apologetic sometimes. they deeply wish for anyone who recognized them pre-octo expansion to forgive them, even if they did nothing wrong

because of the whole octo expansion situation, 8 has developed truman syndrome, paranoia, and heavily dislikes anything involving a smart AI or robotics. this is one of the reasons why marina pisses them off so badly. to 8, they think that they've caused no harm, and every mistake they've done was not entirely their fault. they make a lot of people uncomfortable in some way without touching anyone or saying anything. despite all that, they respect people's personal space a lot!..other than pearl and marina, who they used to watch sleep before being kicked out

now, onto their relationships. 8 is doing fine with agent 4, he's nice to them so they like him... but so is cap3, yet 8 might be one of the worst things that ever happened to her. cap3 really wants some alone time and hates being stared at, and 8 does the exact opposite of that. they don't touch her at her request, but they Will stare at her whenever she's doing anything, at any given time. they don't process in their mind that they want to make her uncomfortable, they just sort of...do?

^ i only limited this to a bit so i won't delve Too deep and go off topic. you can ask about that if you want

i guess you could say they have some kind of parental issues? i don't know, they can't remember who their biological parents are anyways. they have a strong attachment to marina though, can't decide if they wanna be her or want her to adopt them. kind of "eh" with pearl, still respects him nonetheless

congratulations! if you've read until the end, here's a human 8 doodle :3

[brucewaynehater101]

Adding on to my previous ask, what do you think the others reaction to finding out about why Tim cut his hair and/or what it meant to him?

I feel like dick would feel so sad for ti and what he lost

Jason would feel even more regretful about the tower for the hair

Damian and Bruce I'm not sure

Cass would try to convince to grow his hair back again

(he never grew it out cause he didn't feel safe enough to do so)

Sorry if it's incomprehensible, I wrote with my face half squished into my pillow cause I had to get the thought out before I could fall asleep

For anyone wanting to read the OG post, here

Tim, in this AU, usually kept his hair up. Therefore, it's not a stretch to say he didn't tell the others how vital his hair was to his self-worth, connection to his parents, or reassurance that he's loved. Perhaps, in their ignorance, they even made comments on how Tim keeps his hair so long or seems to spend longer getting ready. It was meant as light-hearted teasing because they didn't know just how important his hair is to him.

The reveal for this AU depends on how much drama, tension, and angst you want.

Does it happen immediately after? If so, it might take awhile for Jason or Damian to care (just cause they don't like Tim at this point). There might be a wee bit of "damn" in their minds, but they have the realization much latter of how fucked up it was.

Does it happen after Tim has already forgiven Jason? Jason may not realize it's something he needs to apologize for and goes through the angst of thinking they aren't doing as good as he thought. Tim doesn't blame Jason because Tim made the choice to cut his hair. He was upset, which he's over by this point, but he never blamed Jason. However, Jason now blames himself and will need to work to forgive himself.

Now. How do the Bats respond/feel about this reveal?

As far as Dick and Damian, have you read the fic "Mama Bird (but its your big brother ready to fight god)" by Yellow_sprouts? The fic is by a Tumblr account I adore on here @batfambrainrotbeloved. Anyways, I love their concepts for chapter 4 here. It examines how Dick and Damian, due to their cultures and upbringing, see hair as something to cherish and spend time taking care of.

While in this hc/au I didn't tie Tim's feelings about his hair to cultural/spiritual beliefs, feel free to hc that. On the other hand, I feel like Damian and Dick might understand more or differently due to their own cultural thoughts about hair. Even if Tim's treatment and care of his hair isn't related to cultural beliefs, they might still understand just how important it is (especially if they grew up with their own loved ones [Mary and John Grayson and Talia] washing their hair, taking time to teach them about different products/treatment, and making the entire process a bonding/loving moment). It would be a huge deal if, after Damian and Tim start getting along, Damian offers to help Tim with his hair (which has grown quite a bit by this time).

Jason can also be tied into the cultural understanding if you'd like, or he could just process it as taking another thing from Tim he didn't realize was precious. If Jason also comes from a culture that cherishes hair, lots of angst to be explored there (maybe his feelings about commiting such a taboo but originally justifying it because hair probably doesn't mean the same thing to Tim). Jason having cultural or spiritual ties to hair could also fuck with his mental state and that white stripe. How can he do his self-care routines to the reminder of all that he's suffered through?

Cass has known from the beginning how much Tim's hair means to him. For timeline sake, let's say she appeared to the Bats after TT (otherwise, she would have hunted Jason down to beat his ass up). The two of them from the start use hair as a way to bond.

David Cain probably never taught Cass to value herself in that way. It's nice for Tim and Cass because no words are needed. They can feel the love and comfort through the actions and soft touches. Cass is taught to value herself, that even something like her hair is worthy of time and dedication. She is human, even down to her hair follicles.

This act has nothing to do with her abilities. While she should feel pride and accomplishment for the strength it took to utilize abilities given to her through pain/abuse into something for herself, this activity is about Cass being herself. Tim cares about her and wants to show her that no matter what she can and can't do. Cass is gone often like Tim's parents, but this moment of hair care is a constant reassurance of theirs.

Steph and Babs find out later. Maybe they are told about it by Cass sooner than the big reveal, but they don't tie it to what happened at TT. They also don't want to intrude on the intimate familial bonding of Tim and Cass during this moment, so they never try to invite themselves to it. After the reveal, Barbara invites Tim, Cass, and Steph over for a self-care day. It's not necessarily about hair (so as to not pressure Tim to share), but Tim appreciates the gesture.

Bruce depends on if he's a good dad or not in this.

For good dad Bruce, he is the definition of "doesn't really understand but trying." He stalks the Drakes' old finance records to find out what products they used to keep some in stock at the Manor. He does a ton of research on hair care and cultures (and ends up learning about how it might be important to Dick and Damian). He may be a bit overbearing and cross boundaries (by inserting himself into Tim's routine), but he is trying. After Tim tells him to back off, he does.

For Bad Dad Bruce, he's an asshole about it. Maybe he makes some comment about how Tim shouldn't keep his hair long anyways since it's a liability >:(

Tim probably can't get himself to allow it to grow long again until Bruce gets lost in the timestream. By virtue of simply not having enough time to cut it properly, it grows out. He almost cuts it off before he returns to Gotham, but he remembers how happy Cass was for him that it was long again.

[deanscutiepiesam]

Hello! I'm still relatively new to the fandom, so I'd gone my entire spn existence not seeing this until now, and I have to share because I'm actually going insane and I need smart people to rant to, so apologies if you've already seen this. D*stiel warning, read at your own risk:

Credit to this [post] on Twitter for the screenshots ☆

There aren't even words, like I'm literally losing my mind. Like these can't be real people. Anyways, let's dive in, guys...

You took Dean's dying speech to Sam, where he's directly vulnerable and honest about his love for his baby boy and diluted it to the fucking gas n sip scene?? Like this is insane I can't even begin to understand the thought process (probs because there isn't one), but omg?? That's so unserious and it's almost funny, but let's move on to the replies because it's way worse.

1. People torn up about the barn is so crazy to me. Buddy, it's not that deep. It's not foreshadowing. They literally just happened to happen in the same type of building. It's so crazy for a character to make their first appearance in a barn, and now every barn must be about him. Weak. Do better.

2. Now this one. This one actually drives me crazy. The scene made you uncomfortable because you think asking him to stay is a "Dean and Cas focal point??" Are you serious?? First of all, Dean has serious abandonment issues, so of course, he wants people to stay in his life, but secondly, Sam has been the main focus of that since the first season. Ever since he went to Stanford. Like did you watch with a fucking blindfold?? Half of the show is just Dean making a crazy decision to keep Sam by his side and the consequences of that. How are you this dumb??

And if I were a gambling man, I'd bet that this person started spn at s4. Like the pieces have fallen into place; it's the only explanation. They're so delusional because they missed the core foundation of the show in s1-3. Their world began when Cas walked on screen so they don't even get the show's thesis, and it's so annoying. It's about Sam and Dean. Get over it. "Love story of two brothers." - Jensen Ackles.

3. "Sam/Dean wasn't the relationship that was crying out for emotional payoff." Bestie I'm in your fucking walls. This has literally been building between Sam n Dean for 15 YEARS. Dean was dying and needed to get out how he felt since the beginning. It was a confession, alright, but you can't handle that it was to his brother, and I feel sorry for you. I get you don't care about the brothers' relationship because of your D*stiel compulsion, but get it together. It's embarrassing.

Also, Jensen literally said he went off script for emotional scenes (including the Sam/Dean barn confession) because it felt right [X]. J2 knows Sam and Dean better than me, you, or anyone else. Even the writers (to the point where they were given the script and told to make it theirs). It's so wild that you can ignore that.

4. "Head touch." I'm not even gonna waste time typing about this. Just look at [this] post. Says more than I ever could.

Anyways. Sorry about that, guys. I'm actually so chill and friendly, I swear :33 I just needed to rant to my homies with media literacy because it's literally dead and I was going insane :)

Thanks for reading, and always remember...

[heretherebedork]

I was just reading your post about Way's betrayal and how that relates to the idea of family that Babe is building with Charlie. And I have a *lot* of feelings about Way's betrayal, and the fact that he consistently devalues Babe's ability to love *in general* because Babe won't/can't love him in the specific way he wants, even though Babe obviously adores him. And I feel like that must come through for Babe - not only that Way doesn't want him to love anyone romantically if it can't be him, and acts to make sure that he doesn't try - but also that his love in general isn't valuable if it doesn't take the specific shape Way wants. And then along comes Charlie, and says "Not only are you worthy of love, loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done and I'm prepared to devote my literal life to it." And then he steps that up and says "Not only is your romantic love valuable, but you have such obvious love in you that I think you would make a great parent, that you could be trusted and relied upon to love and nurture a child. And I would like to be involved in that personally." And for Way, his best friend, the person he trusts most, to turn around and take this thing he's only just started internalising about himself and betray it, to say that it would be fine for him to have these children they both know Tony is going to sell to the highest bidder just because it would make Tony stop chasing them? I don't have words. Just... thank god he'd made up with Charlie by that point because imagine him having to process that alone. Anyway, thank you for your excellent post and sorry for the flailing in your askbox. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this aspect of things.

I think part of what I find most fascinating is that Babe stayed in denial of Way's romantic love for him as long as possible including dismissing it as unimportant compared to their friendship even after he had to know what was going on.

And Babe having to face that Way not only manipulated him and controlled him in that final moment but the idea that he had been doing that all along? That Way had been telling him that love wasn't worthwhile because it wasn't the love Way wanted him to have?

Charlie really does give Babe everything he needs and wants, to be loved and to cared for and to be trusted and to be told that he is not just worthy but that he can be more.

That's why that whole Mama and Papa thing is so beautiful and seeing Way try to twist it is even worse. Because, to Babe, being called Mama is the most amazing thing. As you said, it validates not only that he is worthy of love but that he is worthy of giving love.

Babe has, for a very long time, locked up his want to be loved and to love in return, locked it behind sex and masculinity and the real belief that he wasn't worthy of loving or being loved, that he would never find what he was searching for and so he stopped searching. Why search for love when the one person who knew you better than anyone else convinced you that it could never be yours?

Charlie gave him love, gave him the chance to love and be loved, to be cared for and held and for all those soft moment and then Charlie said 'Mama, you are worthy of love and of being loved and making a family, a new family, a better family' and Babe melted entirely because he so desperately wants that.

And that's why Way's love is even more painful. Because Way loved Babe only if he was Way's. That's why I call Way an incel. Because the Babe that Way loved was a a Babe that Way was trying to shape. It was not the real Babe, not the babygirl who melts into Charlie's arms and melts into the pet name of Mama. Way loved his idea of Babe and that was why he was so able to hurt him.

Babe dreams of a family and raising children and having his lover at his side but Way dreams of the idea of Babe at his side and that means that none of the rest of it matters.

Way twisted Babe's dreams to fit his own. He saw Babe wanting a family and decided that going back to their original family would be just as good, wouldn't it? Now, a lot of that does come from the abusive nature of their former family that Babe escaped in a way Way didn't escape but that's just as hard to really focus on because, yes, it's an explanation but it's not an excuse.

Way has created a hole in heart that he keeps trying to fit Babe into because he's convinced that hole is Babe-shaped but the truth is that hole in his heart can never be filled because no one will ever fit that perfectly into yourself with no rough edges or snags.

Charlie lied to Babe but he also loved Babe for Babe and that is why he found his way back to Babe's side while Way lied to Babe but he loved who Babe should have been according to him and that is why he didn't understand when Babe exploded at him.

(Someday, Way may understand why Babe was so hurt but I don't think he's accepted that yet and that is why he is so dangerous. Because he still believes he can get Babe back by bringing him to his side... not understanding what he did to him.)

[ghoul-luver27]

hi I'm sorry but after taking my time to just process the events of the past few days I wanted to talk about this

before I say anything, this is *my* opinion, feel free to come at me for it, but this is how *i* feel about the situation and you don't need to feel the same.

tw for sa for the next long bit

so obviously most of us heard the news personally I was heartbroken. even with the stuff that came out now, I'm not entirely sure about things.

one thing I do know is that *i* personally think jutty is most likely innocent. reading through both of his responses, the "evidence" picture backing up nothing, the slight differences in how the story doesn't match up, I think it's probably a misunderstanding.

from what I've gathered (as someone who doesn't use/have twitter) in both his responses jutty highlight that it was an accident and he didn't mean for it to happen. which I think a ton of people choose to look over. which is dumb. but anyways.

here's the second response, the actual apology people were oh so eager for him to write:

I feel like we can't know for sure what this means for him relating to ghost, but since the members are replacable and tobias probably cares a lot about the image he might hire a new guy. or, as someone who knows jutty better than all of is, and believes someone he actually knows over a stranger with zero evidence, he might end up staying.

overall, this doesn't concern ghost that much.

once again, this is just *my* opinion and it doesn't need to be yours too. I just thought I'd talk about it cause it frustrates me that so many people choose to look over some pretty obvious things

quick edit: also, I'm personally a fan of his work outside of ghost, and I do not think he would be excluded from drag talk, considering its his band💀 sure, they may kick him out of ghost but drag talk is *his* band. so uhm yes I hope that also clears things up, once again, this is my opinion, doesn't need to be yours.

[melishade]

I'm so sorry. Everytime you answer a question another one pops up. I blame my ELA students, they always are asking me about the novels and then I have to shrug and give them the retort "I don't have this author on speed dial, we don't know for sure and can only speculate." But simultaneously one of our rules is "always ask a question, even if I have to go home and read the novel or sequel or find the answer, I will give you one" about literature.

Of course no student is going to raise their hand and ask "do you know why Reiner died in Chapter XX of Attack on Prime?"

But every time a student asks a question, if I have to research it and then have more questions myself or we tumble into a 10 minute spiel of the rabbit hole I went down at 10pm at night to find the answer to Jonny's original question. It's the nature of teaching analytical reading.

Back story is I remember AOP on Fanfiction net. I had found it after my own watching of AOT Season 1 and watching Transformers with my nephew during winter break in college. I know I didn't follow the story much, just enjoying the little bit of relevance to the fandoms I was into at the time. Fast forward and I find it on AO3 one day and went "huh" only to see it had increased to just before Megatron infiltrated Marley. I followed a bit chapter by chapter until one day it just became back burner as an adult with things to do.

Anyways the question is a bit in proportion to the previous question I asked. As you said Attack on Prime started over 11 years ago which was in between S1 and S2 when there was A LOT to speculate on because the manga wasn't even caught up at that point if I remember correctly. Which is why we have fanfictions with different endings to the story, audio stories like Attack on Space or Survey Corpse, the obsession over the 104th because there was a whole 4 (I think?) years of just fans developing them in their own directions.

Knowing the entire Attack on Titan story now and knowing what direction the characters take would you do anything different, utilize a character more, kill off someone else, elaborate on scenes basing it on some of the later season/manga we received? For the Season 1 portion of AOP we mostly see it as an -insert Optimus here- and saving people or just having him be reacting to the AOT universe but not much of a "I don't care what the manga does I am doing what I want to do" where you still keep it in line with the AOT arcs but no differ too much. Once we hit the Clash of the Titans Arc is when I start to see a "oh I am going to do a bit more now because I know more" in the writing and then the beginning on some pretty dang good characterization and world building. We don't see it fully until we hit the 4 year gap where you can just do whatever you want at that point because in the manga and anime, we only know a skeleton of what the 4 year gap was. So I'm curious as a person who has seen the development from Fanfiction net story into a very strong story if you were to be able to pull an Eren and influence your 10 year in the past self, would you want to do anything different?

Are you kidding me?! I love it when I get asks like this! Long detailed asks talking about my thought process when it comes to writing this story! Like seriously!

All jokes aside, let's answer the question.

So there were some things that I've been proud of that I would tell my younger self, like Megatron's character development, the Primus twist, elaborating on the four-year time skip, the OVAs. But there are a few things that I would choose to do differently.

For example, I realized I didn't utilize the pure titans pumped with energon in an actual fight with Paradis. It was really a steppingstone for the titan shifters with energon. Initially, I was going to incorporate them with the Rumbling and have them running on the ground trying to eat people, but because of the whole Zeke/wine debacle and the use of dark energon I just didn't get the chance to work it in there. I should have and that was a failure on my part.

Fix chapters 2 and 3. It was really just a repeat of the episodes with Optimus reacting to the situation. I should have changed the chapters more to focus on Optimus' perspective, maybe have Optimus carrying the boulder instead, forcing the government to question the usefulness of Eren. Eren was a wild card and titan with no control. They would rather dispose of him and keep Optimus. I'd probably have Optimus fight for Eren in that situation instead, stating that Eren's power shouldn't go to waste and that he needs proper training. Having Optimus come to Eren's defense like that could have made more of an impact.

Make a few more tweaks to Eren's descent into madness. I feel like if I had told my younger self about Eren activating the Rumbling and destroying the world. I was trying to expand and show how exactly that happened because if you're going to make a good guy become a villain, go for it. Don't make everyone praise him and hold him in high regard like Isayama did in the manga. However, I've been told that AOP Eren didn't seem like someone that would activate the Rumbling based on how he was developed in prior chapters. And even I was struggling with writing Eren's descent, so maybe like an extra chapter or two to add to Eren's whole thing. Maybe I should have added Eren's perspective while he was alone in Marley. That probably would have helped.

Additionally, I would have told my younger self to get more bolder when it comes to kills or maybe even show more mercy. Sure, I've decided that adding Optimus to the story would help reduce the mortality rate, but it's still AOT. I probably could have killed Jean or spared one or two people from Levi's squad. Believe or not, I was so close to having Eren kill Wheeljack to make the Autobot's hatred against him more personal. But I go back to the whole Arcee situation because I don't want to add another partner dead to her trauma.

Guess I could've added something regarding the people of Paradis trying to get along with the Marleyans during the four year time skip. I have more head canons and what not, but maybe adding a scene or two would have been nice.

There are definitely a few more things I would have wanted to change, but I think it would have just depended on how certain changes impacted the story. It's part of why I do all of these AOP AU. It allows me to experiment and take gambles with certain story aspects, like Optimus killing Reiner in the Episode 1 Timeline, having the Decepticons hijack the story in the War Timeline, Predaking being considered a deity, Starscream and Shockwave taking over the world, etc.

Other than that, I'm just happy I was able to finish the story. I still have one more chapter, but I made it to the end and I'm proud.

[owl-bones]

So I fainted two days ago and hit my head and got two different kinds of brain bleeding (womp womp). I am fully stable, and while I'm mostly bed bound, I have people taking care of me, and I'm in a situation where this won't be a life altering event amd won't leave any life altering effects on me (at least nothing major, I plan on talking to my doc about the fact my scent has disapeared but that's the biggest thing). Anyway-

I wanted to let you know that, when my brain is hurtie and/or i'm bored, I've been imagining Helios snuggling me. He could probably heal it better entirely, but for my little daydreams, I gotta nuke that ability a lil. I imagine him playing with my hair and using some healing magic to make the aches go away. I have an eye mask on so his light doesn't hurt, a wing over me to keep me warm and close. I'm playing with some of the soft feathers and peppering little kisses on the wing cause I just can't stop myself. We chatter, and he teases me for being a lil loopy and silly compared to normal while trying to encourage me to sleep. I try, but I don't have the energy or capacity to filter most of my thoughts so I just keep rambling about how I like him and how pretty he is and how soft his feathers are. Every time he laughs, i smile wider cause I love the noise and kiss wherever I can reach while blind without even thinking about it.

Sorry, I'm just so gay for him right now, and I figured I should share that he is making my recovery easier. Thank you for all your good work and havr a good day

i hope you are feeling better, anon!! truth be told after reading this i immediately went and doodled helios snuggling you in my sketchbook with the full intention of finishing it on my ipad and posting this ask with the doodle, but i've been too busy to finish it lkdsfjksfjl but i also don't want you to think i'm ignoring this ask, so! i am answering it to say i hope you are healing and doing better and it makes me very flattered to know that my silly guy is helping you cope through the recovery process ^^ i WILL finish the doodle for you hopefully soon!

[trans-leek-cookie]

its past midnight and time to yap about Mouthwashing. Anyway obviously we don't see the Specific Events only how the characters react but with Anya... Okay I'm going to talk about the Sexual Assault not with Specific Details but that's what the post is about so

Anyways she reads to me as very like... trying to downplay the severity to herself. Like thinking through it (not having the exact quotes but) I feel like it'd be an unfortunately natural reaction- if you were stuck with 4 guys and the guy with the second highest position on the ship assaulted you depending on the situation. I feel like its not hard to imagine you'd try and reframe it as Less Bad to cope because let me be honest if I had to confront the implications of that, mainly the fact he could do it again and I wouldn't have any real way of dealing with it without complicating things even further bc he doesn't just have a close relationship with the guy with the Most Power on the ship, he also is in charge of keeping Me and The Other People On The Ship Safe, i would be in deep denial just to not lose my god damn mind like thats so fucking scary. And then the implication you tried to talk to the captain and even if he wasn't cruel he didn't Understand the Severity of what you were suggesting is like. Besides feeling afraid it could genuinely really fuck with my own perception bc like "if this guy who I trust says he's not a bad person maybe I'm just overreacting?" is. Again unfortunately understandable.

And again I'll say that Anya fully breaks down when the news breaks that pony express is fucked and like. 1. I think that's related to her own finances (and also. Literally just realized the way an abortion could interact badly with "no savings" like I Just Processed that fact. Like I knew "oh if she couldn't abort having to support a child wouldn't just be traumatic but also fucking nightmarish finance wise" but even having an abortion could make things so much harder.) 2. Jimmy LASHES OUT at Curly OPENLY. again based on my interpretation of Mildly In Denial To Cope this would. Like. Really fuck with that because it goes from "I trust the captain and I don't want to be afraid of my crewmate for a year" to "oh he is willing to verbally abuse the captain, who is his friend" and realizing I wasn't overreacting.

I also wanna point to the dead pixel conversation and obv it's symbolic but idk if it's meant as "there's a dead pixel that Anya noticed and she's using the topic to like test the waters" or if it's "anya is literally just trying to figure out Curly's thought process" which isn't like super important but like. Focusing on the way she starts the conversation by saying that she "Likes the illusion the screen has". (I don't remember the exact words sorry) But that's really interesting to me bc obviously you can read into Curly not seeing the dead pixel and instead focusing on the bigger picture (and how the dead pixel "doesn't ruin the illusion") but I think it's really interesting that Anya starts by talking Positively about the screen even though the dead pixel is there (and she can't stop thinking about it)

Like thinking through implications option 1: she's talking about the screen and uses the dead pixel to get a feel for how Curly responds to her bringing up issues

2: she's being entirely metaphorical and still trying to sort of self soothe- seeking external validation that the dead pixel Isn't Actually That Big A Deal (and therefore she's just overthinking)

3: idk how to phrase this exactly but ppl have talked Abt the way she talks to Jimmy, how it indicates a sort of "Fawn" response where she tries to keep him calm with compliments and stuff, and her talking about "enjoying the illusion" is her trying to do something similar with Curly- essentially starting the metaphor by downplaying the issue

Anyway. I don't know if I have a full conclusion but another thing is I think ppl need to acknowledge that while Curly fucked up and harmed Anya (mainly thru inaction). He's not uniquely shitty. Most people will be in a situation where they act similarly, and that DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS. I AM NOT SAYING CURLY IS ANY BETTER. I am saying that you need to be able to recognize your capacity for harm thru inaction and understand that like. He's not uniquely terrible he's just Normal Levels Of Unhelpful, which in a situation like Anya's is Dangerous

Like. Basically you can say "fuck jimmy fuck curly" all you want but you need to be able to understand that everyone including yourself has the same capacity for harm

[tears-of-taelia]

re: melia & emma

I've been thinking about this for awhile now. The way that the newest version of the Blacksteeple Castle chapter has presented Emma is interesting. There will be spoilers ahead, so don't read if you're still working your way through version 13.5!

My ramblings begin below. Here are some official pics (by the amazing Zumi) for reference.

As we know, during the events of Blacksteeple Castle, Melia wore a disguise to hide her true identity. This disguise is removed when Madame X slashes it with her sword. There is a small animation that follows, where a dark magical aura envelopes “Emma” before she is revealed to be Melia.

After the subsequent chaos, the disguise is not brought up again. However, the character of Emma is revealed to still reside in Melia’s cognition, apparently unbeknownst to Melia, as she says, “I thought I left you behind at Blacksteeple”. How odd.

Then, (a long time) later, while exploring the 3rd Layer, Melia stumbles across a deathbed journal entry written by a Garufa Inc. volunteer named Emma. It reads as follows.

My name is Emma. I undertook the Archetype's power today, and it failed miserably. I was unable to manifest its power and was mortally wounded during a test. I thought I actually had potential... but I guess not. The doctors say I don't have long left. It's cruel, isn't it? Life is just so cruel. But this is the path me and all the other volunteers chose. Humanity has nothing left but us. ...Is it all worth it in the end, though? What do we want to survive for? ...Anyway. I'm losing energy fast. Garufa Incorporated is our last hope. Please, save us.

Melia expresses to Nim that she finds it odd that this person and her Blacksteeple cover share a name. Nim passes this off as a coincidence, and understandably so. Emma isn’t exactly a rare name (though perhaps things are different in the world of rejuvenation?). The coincidence still seems to bother Melia for some reason.

Now, there are a LOT of theories about Melia out there. Despite hours and hours of gameplay, her true identity has yet to be revealed.

People have theorized for years that she is Maria, and the game seems to heavily imply that that is the case. If Anathea had four children, Erin, Maria, Alice, and Allen, and Erin, Melia, Alice, and Allen know that they share a mother, Anathea, then it would logically follow that Melia is Maria. In addition, Melia and Maria physically resemble each other, Melia is unsure of her origins prior to meeting Jenner, and Maria has not otherwise made an appearance in the current timeline (besides the whole Marianette ordeal in Gearen Sewers). So, it’s not exactly a dramatic leap.

It is eventually even addressed by the characters themselves.  When Erin directly asks for her opinion on this matter, Melia balks, and seemingly contradicts herself.

MELIA: Hahah... I guess I've known for a long time that I was Maria. Ever since our interaction with Angie, that name has been going through my head in my dreams. But I have to disagree, Erin. I am not Maria. ERIN: But out of the process of elimination, you must be. MELIA: Sorry, but it's true. That's what my mind is telling me, desperately. I am not Maria. I am not Maria. That's what echoes in my head.

If Melia is and is not Maria, then… how…? In what way? Who is she? Why would she share a connection with Erin? Why is she the only one with Genesis Syndrome? And what does Emma have to do with all of this? I don’t really have an answer. But there is something I want to muse on.

Let’s circle back to Melia’s “disguise”, if we can even call it that. Her cover as Emma made her look like an entirely different person, unrecognizable to the Player character. She has a different outfit, hair color, and eye color. If we are to believe that this is an ordinary disguise, we would need to believe that, with one slash, Madame X was able to tear through a wig, two color contacts, and an entire outfit, including thigh high boots. We would need to believe that Melia conveniently decided to wear a different outfit underneath this disguise, and that Madame X was able to slash off her exterior outfit without marring the one underneath. We would also need to believe that the special, dark, magical animation the occurs at this moment was purely aesthetic and meaningless.

So, yeah, I don’t really believe it this disguise is your regular, run-of-the-mill costume.

We learn that Melia was sent to Blacksteeple through the powers of Spacea and Tiempa. She was on a mission as a Storm Chaser, to save the Player character and gather information. As we know (all too well) from V13.5, Spacea and Tiempa are powerful. Specifically, they have powers over space and time akin to Palkia and Dialga. They use these powers pretty recklessly to manipulate many characters throughout the story. However, every instance of power they exhibit is strictly tied to their dimensions, space and time. Spacea does magic related to space. Tiempa does magic related to time. So, how, then, would they be able to create such a magical disguise for Melia? Through Garufan dress-up magic? Creating an illusion? Maybe. I wouldn’t be shocked. But I think it’s more than that. I think that Spacea and Tiempa used their magic to revive a version of Melia from the past, a different dimension, or a different “layer” (past world?). Perhaps… the third layer. A different appearance. A different life. Emma.

I think of it sort of like what happened with Narcissa during the Dufaux sidequest. But, instead of S+T directly swapping Melia with Emma, they just projected the appearance of Emma onto Melia.

There isn’t much to support or detract from this speculation. What we do know? We know that Melia is and is not Maria. We know that both Melia and Emma struggle to manifest the Archetype's power. We know that Emma resides in Melia’s cognition, like Melanie. We know Melia was deeply bothered by Emma’s journal entry in the Third Layer. We know that the outfit Melia dons when using her powers is very reminiscent of Emma’s.

We also know that Emma is dead.

Or, at least, presumed dead.

Just like Aevis, Aevia, Aria, Axel, Aero, and Alain.

You see where I’m going with this?

We know Emma dies disappointed, having believed she had “potential”, according to her journal entry. Did someone else think she had potential too? Perhaps, her “majesty” herself?

I know I’m not the only one to theorize that Melia is another Interceptor. I mean, it is heavily implied throughout the story. Melia is one of two characters for which we have seen Variya appear. The other, of course, being the player character. Melia is able to enter Zeight. In fact, she enters her own Zeight a couple of points during the game. She is shown with the triangular core motif a couple of times as well. She has led a lot of the research about the Interceptor phenomenon, in the Blakeory Athenaeum, for example.

How this all ties in with Maria, though? I don’t know. In the case of the Player character, we know that A-team didn’t want to live, and agreed to let Variya choose a different soul to take control over their body. Presumably, that soul is us, literally, the player, the person playing the game. Could Maria be the soul taking over Emma? Could Emma be the soul taking over Maria?

Who knows.

I do know there are holes in these theories. I know the events of the Renegade Route may complicate everything. (truthfully, I am too much of a wuss to complete the renegade route myself. I watched a youtube video of someone else's playthrough, so I know the broad strokes of what happens, but I definitely don't know the renegade lore in the same way I know paragon. maybe I should rewatch it at some point and take notes)

But this has been bouncing around my brain for too long and I wanted to put it in writing to help organize my thoughts. If you made it this far, wow, you rock! Thanks for reading. I’m interested if anyone has thoughts about this, if anyone can potentially disprove it, or if anyone has their own version or counter version of this idea! I live for this shit.

[heda-heather]

:nervously off anon: So I watched the Anti-Hero video for the first time yesterday (I know, I know...SO behind the times), and I'm so curious how Swifties are interpreting the very clear symbolism. Like, Taylor is two selves. One of them (the "villain") is her exact presentation out in the world right now. Taylor's lyrics match up with her real self. Her public persona doesn't match up with her lyrics. Swifties don't acknowledge this contrast?

Also, what do they make of the bottle she's drinking from? The one with the Lover video's family crest. Do they not wonder WHY that crest is in a video that is otherwise not about romance? Like, I feel like with close attention to lyrics + close attention to videos + an ounce of attention to how her persona changes from album to album + THE ENTIRE LOVER Era = AT THE VERY LEAST that she is not who she seems (and is most certainly under the queer umbrella).

An even deeper dive will lead you to "she is with Karlie; that crest is signaling Karlie; her songs signal Karlie; Taylor is likely identifying as a lesbian now." Yet somehow they don't see any of it that way, and I wonder how. Maybe willful ignorance. Maybe selection of detail to support their own thesis. Maybe it's the English major in me that makes me pore over this stuff.

My assumption is that many Swifties center their listening experience on how they relate to what Taylor's talking about, so it's more about their own experience and projection than what is actually being written. I know they'd say the same about gaylors, but there are CLEAR motifs in this discography. It's all fascinating but also driving me mad. LOL

Anyway, sorry for the novel. I am still a whole n00b to this fandom and mostly choose to engage with Taylor's world via this corner of Tumblr and through her lyrics. The wider fandom seems like actual hell. LOL

Whew ok I needed a minute to read and process before responding 😂

1. Swifties see the anti-hero more as her battle with fame I think, kinda missing the deeper meaning of her being a completely different person underneath that fame.

2. I doubt they think about the crest at all. I never noticed it until a Kaylor blog pointed it out and showed all the times it’s been displayed. They probably assume it’s just a random design.

3. Her persona changing from album to album actually gives them fuel to say she’s NOT part of the queer community because “the lover era was her activist era, just showing her support, then she moved on from it”

4. They’re NOT looking for signals to Karlie. And they take what she shows them (hanging all over football guy) at face value

5. Projection is a big piece of it. “Loving in secret” to us, is such an obvious flag to the experience of realizing you’re queer in a heteronormative society. I think a lot of them romanticize this instead. They see it as finding a love so special, you want to keep it to yourself. I think a lot of them are obsessed with her work because she describes this intense, earth-shattering love. It gives them hope to find it… but they don’t realize it’s a queer love. And the fact is… 2 women loving one another do share a different experience than a man and woman, because of how women express themselves and understand the universal female experience. Add that to the experience of being queer in anyway. So… they’re kinda holding onto false hope they’ll find a love like she describes. But also there is no other Karlie Kloss in this world 😍🥰

Anyway, my thoughts. Thanks for being brave enough to come off anon! Always love a good chat.

[adambja]

It's a quit a long post so in sorry for that and I'm not a native English speaker so please pardon my mistakes......

Hey girl , I have a question and it's not related to aff tapes but I want to ask you this question to know your opinion and hope you give me a solution and guide me on this ..... So

To be very honest i manifest so many things in my life ,

I even shift one time ,

Enter in void state also by doing psych k method i think after 2 and half day ,

Even get results by practising living in the present moment ,

Even I get results from your free tapes.

I'm telling you to know I get results and not telling lie and things that i manifest , good friends to good grades to pass in exams or even allow to sit in exams even after not going clg entire year 😅 and for all this I have all my desires so smoothly even just my laptop have internet when whole hostel don't have and so many more fun things and all......

As for live in the present moment - In my check up I diagnosed diabetic but through live in the present moment I heal myself and when I do next day check up I'm completely healthy...

As for your tape come on girl ... There are so many , don't know where to start 🤣🤣🤣 ....anyways so many things

But my main problem is whenever I tell , share my success stories to anyone it stops happening 😭😭😭 I don't believe in it before but i shift and I tell a friend about it till now I don't shift , it's like 2 yrs now ....

Tell my void success story even just as an anon but still after that I didn't enter in void ....

After telling your aff tape success story I start having more doubts or even sometimes I can't even listen to your tape because people district me or start talking to me and want me to answer them but i prefer to listen to it calmly and be alone , all the symptoms i feel suddenly gone .....

After sharing my present moment success story I don't see any results till now .... Not even with the psych method....

At first i just thought that I don't do it properly or maybe I tell my success story to someone who is a negative person and can't understand all of this law and all so it's effect my process because I'm not perfect in it ( it's a wrong and limiting belief ) ...So i decided if i want to tell someone my success story or tell someone my journey I'll just tell it to people who is like me ... So in the community..... But even after telling people like me ( who believe in loa , manifestation and all ) I still get stuck ..... And I tell my success stories to people who help me and to help others but what now ...... Today i suddenly see all things .......

So what should I do to overcome ...😭😭😭

Thank you for taking your time to read ..... I'm sorry again...

I saw some people on here and twitter having the same issue lmao 😭😭

It's just you are making yourself stuck due to your self-concept you keep putting yourself in a maze and confusion due to your self-concept and it's not about my tape at all BUT I AM GLAD MY TAPES MADE YOU COME HERE AND ASK FOR A SOLUTION 😭!!! BECAUSE YOU KNOW NOW THERE IS A WEIRD THING HAPPENING AND THIS IS one of the benefits in the tape your subconscious mind literally lets you know what is the issue and the assumptions you have to change that's why some people experienced some negativity while listening to the tapes NOT EVERYONE THEY ARE LITERALLY 3 PEOPLE GUYS!!

Anyways let's get deeper into this!

So look you got that belief from someone as if it's like if you say your goals or your success stories they can be jinxed and whatever this is

THE FEELING YOU ARE DEALING WITH HERE IS "FEAR" YOU ARE JUST SCARED OF IT and it's okay your feelings are valid but jinxing isn't even real because nobody is real 😭😭 because THE REALITY ITSELF ISN'T REAL SO YOU ARE LITERALLY SAFE

How to solve this?

Affirm

"I am safe"

"I am comfortable"

"I am safe saying my success stories to everyone"

"I am comfortable saying my success stories to everyone"

Also congrats on your success stories with my tapes hehehe 🤭🫶🏻 I know you will have more after this

[wingsoverlagos]

Hi, wingsoverlagos! Love your blog from The Bruce McMouse Show' Paul to your posts on magic Lewisohn. Thank you a lot! And not that it matters but I thought about you when read this comment on youtube (by @DrAnne-mc8er, who tells nice and seems truely stories about her family, especially on her unkle worked with The Beatles in 1969, and her own childhood near Paul, John, George and Ringo),

'… I've kept written diaries my whole life, which our youngest daughter is in the (necessarily) very long process of putting in date order with my help. These go way back to the early 50's, and include things which (now) seem so innocent and naive. Like when John knocked me off a swing in the local park, and when John and Paul had a real fight over a pair of £2 roller skates, both refusing to give up the one skate they each were holding on to for dear life! LOL Obviously this was when we were all still teenage kids fooling around.

Yes, I was contacted by a lady well over a year ago from "the office of" Mr Lewisohn in London, which to be quite honest, I thought was an arrogant way of him going about things, and I said so to the lady. Anyway he called back to "personally apologise". I should probably clarify that I'm now well into my seventies, and have a number of health issues. Yet rather than come up and see me at home in Liverpool, Mr Lewisohn assumed that I would be so keen to be in his book, that I would take the 3 hour train journey, to go and see him (or an assistant) in London, stay overnight if necessary, and then "hope" that anything I would say about the early days, might make it into his planned book. ALL at my own personal expense!

Needless to say I told my husband what Mr Lewisohn expected, and I also phoned Paul to tell him (in no uncertain terms) what I thought of the man. Frustratingly, our daughter who's here now, has just said I can't say what Paul said to me over the phone, here in a public forum. So that's as much as I can say. Well, other than I chose NOT to take the delightful Mr Lewisohn up on his offer! (I'm angry with him now all over again, just recalling what the arrogant sod expected me to do!) But anyway greenatom, you now know the story behind all that.

PS - Our daughter's gone home, so I'll quickly tell you that Paul said he'd talk to Richie (Ringo) about everything, and would phone me back. Anyway in the meantime, Barb phoned me and said Richie was furious with this Mark Lewisohn about what had happened, and that he should "stick his effing book where the sun don't shine!" LOL Then Paul phoned me back the same evening, and said he'd been round to Richie and Barb's (which of course I knew after chatting with Barb earlier), and said it was entirely up to me. but that he and Richie, both felt that I should tell Mark Lewisohn to "eff off". So I don't know for certain, but I think Paul and Richie might have temporarily fallen out a bit with Mr Lewisohn. Not just because of how he spoke to me, but mainly because as Paul said over the phone, the book is supposed to be about The Beatles. Not what the lads got up to as kids individually. Sorry for writing such a stupidly long reply, but take care anyway, and please stay healthy and wear a mask x' From https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hv2EkzqUb8&lc=Ugy-Dnq03NdsYhh6xTB4AaABAg&ab_channel=YouCan%27tUnhearThis

Thank you so much for reading my posts, and for sending this message along! The comment thread in question is very interesting and sent me down quite the rabbithole. I wanted to believe! But I fear this person's story doesn't line up on close inspection.

The thread in question is at the top of the comment section on this video on the You Can't Unhear This Youtube channel. It's from the user "DrAnne-mc8er" who claims to be the neice of Bob Moog, of synthesizer fame. The thread is over 100 comments long with many replies by Dr. Anne. In addition to being the neice of Bob Moog, she claims to have known Paul and George as kids, being a couple of years younger than them, and to still be friends with them to this day. She says she has many handwritten journals starting in the 1950s and, most pertinently, she claims to have been contacted by the office of Mark Lewisohn. Her story goes that a research assistant of Lewisohn contacted her; Dr. Anne thought it was rudely done, and Lewisohn then conteacted her personally to apologize. She came away with the impression that he was full of himself, and then spoke to Paul & Ringo, who confirmed that Lewisohn was bad news.

Obviously, this story was like catnip to me. Having beef with Mark Lewisohn is such a specific thing to lie about, I thought, would anyone bother to add this detail if they were simply LARPing as someone celeb-adjacent? Still, there were some details that gave me pause. Dr. Anne said, for instance, that John was a devout christian at the time of the Maureen Cleave interview, which...lol. But one very wrong assumption doesn't necessarily invalidate her entire story. She also said that George Harrison had done uncredited backing vocals on London Town, which sounds improbable, but idk, you never know???

So I decided to dig in to see if anything she said held water. First, I image searched her profile picture (crazy how using a basic google function makes me feel like Sherlock Holmes), and the results were somewhat encouraging: the picture was indeed of a Dr. Anne Cremona, a psychologist. Further digging showed that the real Dr. Anne and the commenter Dr. Anne both professed to have at least four children. On the flip side, Commenter Dr. Anne purports to live in Liverpool, while Actual Dr. Anne practices in London. Not a realistic commute, eh?

But the story truly fell apart once I looked into Bob Moog, who I previously knew nothing about aside from the fact that he was the Synthesizer Guy. Commenter Dr. Anne said that her mother was Bob Moog's younger sister, who had moved to the UK in 1938. She named her grandfather as Robert Sr. There are claims with all of these problems, not the least of which is the fact that Bob Moog seems to have been an only child. I read the first few chapters of a biography of Moog--(Switched On by Albert Glinsky)--which provides plenty of detail on Moog's family going several generations back, but doesn't mention any siblings.

The second issue is the timing: based on this commenter's story, she would have been born around 1944 or 1945. Bob Moog was born in 1934. If he somehow had a younger sister who went unmentioned in his biography, she would have been at most three years old in 1938, when she purportedly went to Liverpool--with a non-parent guardian, as Bob Moog lived with both his parents. This sister would have been ten at the oldest when "Dr. Anne" claims to have been born.

Then we have her grandfather, Robert Sr. Bob Moog was actually the first Robert in a long line of Georges. His dad was George, his grandfather was George, and his great-grandfather was, I think, Georg. There may have been another George thrown in there.

So it seems like this commenter is just doing some high effort LARPing. The thing I'm left wondering is whether or not this commenter is actually Dr. Anne Cremona. If it isn't, they didn't just pick a random picture for their troll account, but used her name as well, all while incorporating details that seem pulled from her life. There's the number of children for one, but the commenter also sprinkles in some psychology talk.

What's the deal? Is this an actual psychologist doing some dedicated trolling (the comment chain spanned a time period of more than a year) with her actual name and picture? Or is this a troll impersonating an actual psychologist as part of their neice-of-Bob-Moog routine?

Thank you for sending this my way, @tavolgisvist! It may not be the genuine article, but I had a lot of fun digging into it. The Mark Lewisohn Tipline (my askbox) is always open!

[antiendovents]

heyyy its ussss! its r (or maybe Eva idk) (nope yeah its r) and I just wanted to say you're awesome!!! (EVA GET OUT) we think you are super cool,sorry, but evalynn wanted to say smth to ya.

hiiiiiiii I think you're so cool and um I'm back and feeling way better and anyway yea love you (platonically) you're so cool yeah 💕💖

well that was rather embarrassing. the love letter we were referencing was our second message to you, in which saturn got way too in detail about me.

we are not dating lol, I have a gf (well, me and Eva share her, I think Saturn is aroace and evalynn is a child so yeah) (and our other alters almost never front) (cept one but I do not want to introduce her to you because she sucks and I really hate her) (shes very abrasive and generally assholey, she yells a lot at r and the rest of us).

anyway uhhhhh yeah I have like a quick question. can an alter have a backstory that's basically me but kinda tweaked? so evalynns backstory is basically mine (I'm the host), except I have a lot of trauma from COVID so for her COVID never happened. shes like forever in third grade, before COVID started and um kinda like a fictive but from real life. she also hates reminders of COVID so I'm gonna make sure she does not read the rest of this message cuz her mental health is already sorta iffy!!!

OH I NEED TO WARN YOU BOUT SMTH. my parents raised me z!onist and I'm not anymore cuz like... a lot of very obvious reasons, but evalynn does not have the skills to process this, so she generally does not talk about any of this. I've been doing my very best to make sure she doesn't know anything, so she may be a bit oblivious. we were never the sort of z!onist who wanted to like, kill everyone (tho I know some of those) we actually thought that the west bank and gaza should be allowed to be its own country even when we were younger, but she is still very connected to israel (we are Israeli, but again, stand for Palestine) so ummm please ignore her lol anyway bye lol (insert nervous laughter)

PLEASE DONT HATE US

-🌌🌠

hi again you two!! Thank you so much! You seem cool too (all of you) :D

And hi Evalynn! You're awesome and I'm glad you're feeling better now! Love you too (platonically ofc!) and I hope you have a great day(or night depending on where you are in the world!)

Also I didn't even notice that lol! When I go back now yeah that kind of was a love letter lol! but I guess a platonic love letter since you have a girlfriend and they're aroace?? Either way it's kind of cute (like in the way where you see best friends or siblings give eachother gifts or care about eachother a lot and you just go "awh")

And don't worry about that, we kind of get that! We'd probably introduce ourselves too if we didn't switch so much, infact we still need to work on introductions on our personal blog, we just don't know who to do cause they either stop fronting for a long time or cant be bothered to do it (and also we have a few alters like that, so we get why you might not want to introduce her to us, but either way you should know she's welcome here even if she is a bit "assholey")

And yeah, it is possible for alters to have similar but different "backstories" or whatever one would want to call it! I'd assume it would be that your brain just witholds memories of COVID from her due to it being too traumatic or stressful for her to handle, which might explain why she only seems to remember what happened before COVID and why she doesn't like reminders of it? (I don't know, I'm making assumptions based on how our system works a little, but our point is yeah it's entirely possible!)

And that's fine, we don't hate you for that. You cannot control how you were raised or what your parents believe in or even where you were born, you've changed and recognised that the belief is harmful and that's good enough, that's literally all you can do. It's understandable that some alters may not be able to fully process it, sometimes these things can be incredibly complicated and trying to change what you grew up with is hard, we're proud of you for doing it anyways, even if not all of you understand it perfectly

[project-sekai-facts]

have you seen that theory about vbs not being the original owners of their sekai, and if so what are your thoughts about it?

i stared at this post for a few minutes wondering if you were talking about a post that was written by me and then i checked twitter and a post about RADder being the original owners popped up on my fyp so i'm assuming that's what you're talking about (also i realised that my post is. still in my drafts).

i go full pepe silvia under the cut. uh. sorry.

yeah anyway i do agree with that theory. kinda. The Street SEKAI is mentioned multiple times in the initial cards to have been around for a while, though this could be referring to the fact that SEKAI take time to grow before they manifest fully to the owners (think about School and Wonderland SEKAI, which probably took years to reveal themselves). But it could also imply that someone else contributed to the SEKAI before VBS. I actually talk about the theory briefly in that first linked post, so we'll continue from there.

so I don't think it was RADder. And yeah basically my only reason is that they're too old. MEIKO was released in 2006, considering the only date mentioned in the game is (Autumn) 2021, this is after An was born, when RADder was already pretty successful. Also we don't know enough about SEKAI physics to confirm this, but Miku seems to be more important than MEIKO so maybe space-time wasn't broken until 2007, and RADder is probably even more successful at that point because of the CDs they recorded when An was a baby.

the SEKAI just doesn't work in the time frame. What we know is that the Street SEKAI was formed by dreams and aspiration. Which is kinda the case for most SEKAI but Street SEKAI was more specifically formed by the passion its creators have for these dreams. and while RADder had big dreams to be top musicians in the world and was passionate about that, they were like realistically never gonna achieve that, but also they were at a point where they were doing very well and were very successful and on their way there. they didn't really need the help from Miku as much as VBS needs it.

Now the way Nagi talks about some things in Light Up the Fire definitely could be read a certain way, especially when she talks about passing on RADder's dream to the kids in the audience at RW, but I still don't think RADder being the original owners entirely works. Honestly the easiest point to argue for that claim is that the Street SEKAI has a very strong attachment to RAD WEEKEND, which on the one hand could be part of the fact that Taiga very clearly never moved past it and never fully processed the death of his sister, but it makes a lot more sense to be a trait tied to the people who aspire to surpass it. also MEIKO outright says that's why the attachment to RW is there in her initial 2*.

However,

I don't think it's entirely out of the question for some of the other side characters to have an influence over the Street SEKAI. As I've mentioned, the SEKAI has a strong attachment to RW, and all of them have the same goal of surpassing the event. Also the 4 older VSingers in the SEKAI (MEIKO, KAITO, Luka, Miku) all takes traits from the members of RADder. Which makes a lot of sense for the main mentor figures in the SEKAI to be based on the people that the kids look up to.

There is an argument to be made though that they gave up on their dreams to easily. In LUTF, Taiga decides to crush all their dreams and Tatsuya (+ his group), Arata and Kotaro all leave, like, they just give up while (an admittedly very shaken) VBS sticks with their dream.

Tatsuya and EVER leave because all this time they'd been just carrying on until they eventually saw victory, but after taking a beating from Taiga, they realised that there's some things that you won't be able to overcome and give up.

Arata leaves because even though he has skill, Taiga was able to get through to his weakness - Souma. Taiga realises that Arata has experienced a similar loss and grief to he did, and although Arata is trying to carry Souma's dream on his behalf, Taiga knows from experience that Arata is just clinging on to Souma's dream as a way of coping with his loss, rather than actually trying to uphold it (basically he calls him selfish). Arata isn't able to argue back, feels a lot of guilt over that, and leaves.

Kotaro is like. particularly interesting and also most eligible for Miku therapy. He's genuinely really scared and overwhelmed by Taiga's challenge, and gives a poor performance when he has to stand up to him, and straight up gets called shit and weak by Taiga and the audience. Dead serious. Afterwards he literally has a breakdown, calls himself an idiot for not being able to sing and then goes on about how he's shit at everything and apologises because should've given up ages ago because all he's ever done is drag everyone else down before literally running away and DAMN do I hope he gets development on that in the Toya event.

all things considered i'd honestly say that all of them to some degree could've contributed to the formation of the SEKAI, Souma included (honestly he seems the most passionate about it even though he was forced to give up). all of them were passionate about it but then there's always the fact that they all gave up really easily, although they were reluctant. that said, toya did the same thing in the main story so...

Although,

There's still an argument that the Street SEKAI was just formed by the four of VBS, and Kohane was just the final piece of the puzzle that made it reveal itself. Three passionate people who are wholeheartedly devoted to their dream and one ordinary girl who wants to do something that she can dedicate herself to and feel passionate about. inverse MMJ if you will. fate is probably canon in project sekai also like i've mentioned this a few times before so that could play a part in all this.

but come to think of it, the sekai doesn't even reveal itself to Akito and Toya until really late in the main story. supposedly they still heavily influenced it but that's a bit... odd? don't you think? like the only other times that happens is N25 and WxS, wherein the SEKAI was made by only one person and let the others in later, but this was a SEKAI that was supposedly made by all 4 of them. so if you think about it hard enough, could the street sekai maybe do that again?

Also,

Nagi is very important to the VBS story and lore despite the fact that she was very obviously written in much later in development. Going back to the fate thing, at RW she states that since RADder is over and she's over, she now has a new dream, that being that she wants the next generation to be inspired by what they achieved and carry on their legacy. While when she says that, she's talking about An and Akito in the audience at RW, it's stated multiple times that the "next generation" includes all of VBS, and all the side characters. so yeah, the fate thing. I doubt the game will ever do anything about it since they're side characters, but I think it can be argued that they contributed to the SEKAI a bit.

i wrote this in so many increments and in the wrong order and now it lacks any cohesion whatsoever and i have no idea what i'm even saying at this point and i think i sort of proved it and disproved it simultaneously but like. yeah. it's an alright theory. i have some thoughts on it.

[quintenrosenburgwrites]

mirren sketches >:)

lyrics are from Mixed Messages and Red Flags btw

OH ALSO i wrote some dialogue stuff, see under the read more! warning for some humor that's way more nsfw than i'd usually post (i mean. come on. it's dialtown. they're awkward as hell. they're obviously gonna say something questionable /lh) also some more serious stuff (self hate issues, depression, anxiety)

Nice/Fun stuff:

- They say pretty much everything that comes to mind, and once they get a train of thought it doesn't take long for it to derail and crash through a small community, leaving a trail of destruction behind it. TLDR they're really rambly.

"Birthdays are kinda weird. Like obviously there's the whole counting down to your death thing, but also, like. You're basically celebrating the anniversary of you getting evicted from your mom's, uh. You know. Okay that sounded REALLY, extremely, UNCOMFORTABLY Freudian. Can we PLEASE pretend I never said that? Thanks. Oh, right, the murder case."

- They have a tendency to just accept things and move on without commenting further.

"Oh. You lay eggs. Anyways, can you help me break into the ticket booth? I need to check the entry records."

- They're a fucking dork /pos (They're really sweet, but in a convoluted way)

"I, uh, please don't think this is weird, but I made characters for both of us! This one's named May, and they're kinda a failure. They failed their parents, they failed their old best friend, they failed their job. They used to think they had no redeeming qualities. Then, one day, they meet the other character, Ginger. Ginger seems terrifying initially, and even if it isn't obvious at first, they're not actually human. Ginger and May go on a journey in which May tries to learn magic in order to protect people and redeem themself for their past actions, even though they despise the idea of learning magic, but, eventually... Ginger helps them see their own value, helps May see that they're a person too. They are allowed to be selfish sometimes, they're just as worthy of happiness as anyone else. And, uh, maybe... Maybe that saved their life a bit. And maybe, May is allowed to do things for themself sometimes. Ginger means a whole lot to May, even if they have trouble expressing it, and... uh, I guess that's everything. Um. What do you think?"

Serious, bad stuff:

- They see very little value in themself, and tend to expect others to insult or make fun of them. To combat this, they typically are quick to insult themself, in an attempt to get there before anybody else can. It hurts less if they're the one saying it.

"And before you say it! I know it's super annoying when people are constantly insulting themselves, cause like it comes off as compliment seeking, right? I promise that's not what I'm trying to do, I'm just kinda trying to warn you I guess? But, uh, that's still no excuse, and I can totally just shut up if you want! Or, wait, I shouldn't have assumed it's annoying you, I could just be restating what you're thinking? I mean, the things I'm saying about myself aren't exactly incorrect- Just, let me know if I'm being annoying. I'd rather shut up than annoy you, haha. ha. Wow, that sounded fake."

- They tend to blame everything on themself, and act very self destructively.

"Oh god, this is all my fucking fault, I'm so sorry. It's okay if you hate me- or, no, you SHOULD hate me! Fuck, I'm- Why did you even talk to me in the first place?! Do you realize- If you just- You would've been better off if you just walked past me and ignored me! I need to- This is for your wellbeing, being around me is only gonna make things worse for you. I'll be fine, just- Don't follow me. I mean, I don't know why you would in the first place."

- They put everyone else before themself.

"I need to make it up to them, even if I ruin my life in the process. It's not like my life was looking particularly bright in the first place, which is entirely my own fault, so, y'know. Yeah."