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#anyways i LOVE fish so i just had to do this
padfootagain · 3 days
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Love in Verses (XI)
Chapter 11: ‘Lived to see you throwing me aside.’
Hi! Here is another chapter! On the menu today: a dinner with Sam and Frank… I’ll let you guess how well this will go… (I hope my choice for Andrew's pic for this chapter gives you a clue...)
I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)
Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here
Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?
Word Count: 2933
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist
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Hesitate to call
Lived to see you throwing Me aside. That fought Like nettled fish inside me. Saw you throbbing In my syrups. Saw you sleep. And lived to see That all that all flushed down The refuse. Done? It lives in me. You live in me. Malignant. Love, you ever want me, don’t.
Louise Glück, The First Five Books of Poems
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Andrew checked his appearance in the mirror for what seemed to be the hundredth time.
He was nervous beyond reason, after all he was heading to a restaurant to see Sam. And after a long-term relationship, he shouldn’t have felt so troubled by it. But things were different now, things were… complicated, to say the least.
Still, he heaved a sigh, checked his appearance once more. He had let his hair loose, had put on contacts, was wearing a black shirt and some dark jeans. He looked tired, exhausted even. Work was a lot at the moment, he had a thousand things to do. He still struggled to sleep, was still tortured with thoughts and dreams of Sam, of her leaving, of her loving someone else.
November was ending, and with it, the remnants of Andrew’s and Sam’s plans. Plans…
A weekend in Kerry in September. Saimhan with friends. Now, Andrew should be packing. He should be choosing clothes, not for an evening in a restaurant, but for a weekend in Glasgow. A flight late at night leaving from Dublin, another one during the night between Sunday and Monday. And in between, a couple of days just for them, spent eating, visiting museums, seeing the sights, walking around the town. A night in a hotel, one she had chosen, spent on filling their hearts with love and their bodies with lust and desire.
He looked at his reflection again, stared right into his own hazel eyes. They were greener than usual, probably because wearing contacts made his eyes water. He would have been more comfortable with glasses, more relaxed as well, more himself, in a way.
He blinked tears away as a thought crossed his mind, a painful one he wished he could have kept at bay, but he didn’t have the strength for that. Beating himself up was a habit, since childhood. There were thoughts sometimes that formed in his mind that brought him pain, but he listened anyway. Sometimes they were quiet, sometimes they were deafening. These days they were loud and clear.
He went to get his coat, grab his car keys, get ready to leave. He petted Elwood, told him to be a good boy, that he would soon be home. The thought followed him outside his home.
Being himself was never enough for Sam to love him.
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Christ, Sam was so beautiful…
It was breaking his heart that they weren’t on a date. As he entered the restaurant, saw her sitting at a table waiting for him, Andrew was reminded of hundreds of evenings spent like this, going on a date in a restaurant, at the cinema, it didn’t even matter where. At the end, they didn’t go out much anymore. Sam always seemed to be too busy for that. At the time, Andrew thought it was only because of her job. Now, he wondered if maybe she had not already started to give up on them.
But he hadn’t. To this day, he hadn’t given up on them…
He kept on admiring her for a few more seconds, until the rest of the table was revealed to him, and the illusion waned. You were there too, facing Frank. The restaurant was posh, he felt a little uneasy in this atmosphere. He wouldn’t have chosen such a place for a date, but he had no doubt that Sam liked it.
He forced a smile as he approached, was greeted warmly by Frank, the first one who spotted him as he approached. You turned on your chair to greet him with a relieved smile, and his heart made a happy jump at the sight of you. He had an ally tonight, he wasn’t on his own…
“You’re late.”
He turned to Sam, his heart dropping again. Her tone was flat, emotionless, and he knew her enough to be aware that it was worse than annoyance. She was angry. He struggled to swallow.
“Yeah, sorry… Had some stuff to take care of before coming.”
She rolled her eyes, knowing it was a lie. Or well, it wasn’t a lie, but the real reason was simply that Andrew was always late. To everything. He couldn’t do much about it; if left unattended, he simply lost track of time. The alarms he had set up had done little to help him tonight. He didn’t add anything, merely took a seat.
“Ha, no worries!” Frank reassured him, and Andrew could tell that he was nervous and willing to make Andrew feel welcome. As a result, Andrew was highly uncomfortable.
“The food looks… interesting,” you commented, trying to drag the conversation away from Andrew, and he was grateful for it.
“The oysters are particularly good!” Frank recommended.
You said nothing, but Andrew frowned.
You… hadn’t you told him once that you weren’t such a fan of seafood?
Indeed, when you chose what to eat, you didn’t follow Frank’s advice at all.
Conversation drifted towards work, and your respective lives. Catching up or getting to know each other.
And Andrew understood Frank’s appeal tonight, as he watched him lead the conversation. He was louder than Andrew ever was, bright, clearly extraverted, longing for people’s attention. He was funny, charming. And handsome, that too, Andrew couldn’t deny that either. His complete opposite. Average height, muscles that threatened the fabric of his sleeves while he passionately talked about his work and moved his hands around, blond with electric blue eyes.
So… that was what Sam longed for? What had made you fall for him?
Andrew tried not to think this way. There was nothing he could do about his physical appearance, his ridiculous height, his gangly stature… there was no need to torture himself over that. He could show that he took care of Sam though. That he paid attention to her. That he loved her…
Because Frank didn’t seem to care all that much. Andrew saw it as you talked about your work, about how nervous you were as you got ready to give your students their first test of the year. And if Andrew was intently listening, Frank was clearly uninterested. He drew the conversation away from your job as soon as he could, offering encouraging words, and quickly moving on. You smiled, but you weren’t fooled. Andrew saw it in the way your gaze saddened, in the way the excitement that had been glimmering there died out instantly. His heart ached at the sight. And when Frank spoke again, Andrew didn’t care.
“Will you set a limit for the length required for the essay?”
Frank grew quiet, frowned. You turned to Andrew, clearly surprised by his question.
“Erm… I haven’t decided yet. I usually don’t.”
“Once a student gave me a twenty-pages long essay…”
“Twenty pages?!”
“Yeah… she was thorough, for sure.”
“Did you read the whole thing?”
“Of course. And now I set a limited word count.”
You chuckled, nodded.
“Maybe I should do that. What about your class about Yeats? Have you decided on a subject for an essay?”
“I’m still hesitating… I want to prepare one about Yeats’s involvement in the Irish Literary Revival… but I could choose one of his love poems about Maud Gonne too.”
You chuckled.
“Why do I feel like they’ll hear a lot about No Second Troy…”
“I love that poem.”
“Anyone who speaks of literature with you for more than ten minutes knows that,” you teased. “It’s a short poem to study, though.”
“Yeah… but that means they would really have to work on each line, instead of simply skipping whatever element they struggle with.”
“True.”
“I feel like it would be easier for them to work on the more political side of Yeats’s work during exam season. The material is easier, and we’ll go thoroughly through the most important aspects of these texts in class. So… I think I’ll ask them to work on love poems at home.”
“Sounds like a good idea.”
You exchanged a smile. When Andrew looked up at Frank and Sam, they had stopped listening and were both eating their meal in silence. Sam was looking at something on her phone, a habit she had developed in the past couple of years.
She hadn’t asked him about his job. She hadn’t asked him if he wrote, how he felt, if he was suffering because of her. Perhaps she didn’t want to hear his answers. Perhaps she didn’t really care. Andrew was starting to have doubts. The more the evening was progressing, the more he realised that she didn’t seem to care. Sam and Andrew had spent years together, but she wasn’t listening as he spoke of his work, of the things he loved most on Earth.
Did she even care at all about him anymore? She used to listen to him talk about music and poetry for hours, back when they were students…
Or did she? She had never liked his own writing, but he thought she listened when he spoke of what he loved, still. She didn’t seem willing to make an effort these days… but then again, they weren’t together anymore. So, why would she?
“I’ve listened to your record, by the way!”
Andrew blinked, looked at you again.
“What?”
“Duke Ellington and John Coltrane. I’ve listened to it.”
He raised a surprised eyebrow.
“Did you? Really?”
You nodded, an excited smile on your lips.
“Of course! I’m going to sound very basic, I think In a Sentimental Mood was my favourite… although I really loved My Little Brown Book too.”
His mouth broke into a bright grin.
“Grand! Like… that’s grand! I’m glad you liked it.”
Frank stared at you for a moment.
“Who are you talking about?” he asked, trying to slither in the conversation.
“Andy recommended me some music! I have a whole list at this point,” you teased, nudging him with your elbow and making him chuckle and blush.
“It’s Jazz,” Andrew explained. “Some of the greatest, honestly.”
Sam heaved a sigh, still focused on her screen.
“Oh… nice,” Frank nodded, although he didn’t sound convincing at all.
“I really liked it a lot,” you went on. “I don’t really have the vocabulary to describe it, like… on a technical point of view, you know? But I liked it. It was very… like… drawing me in, in a way. There was tension, and then once I was trapped in the song, there was so much emotion there… And it’s unusual for me to be so focused when listening to instrumental music. I have a busy brain, I get distracted easily.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I have a busy brain too… but that’s what Blues and Jazz do to me. They kind of… shush my brain. Make it go quiet.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“You like music, then, Andy?”
Andrew looked at Frank again, wanted to correct him and ask to be called Andrew… but he didn’t want to seem rude. He didn’t like it, though, how he used his nickname.
“Yeah, a lot.”
“Andy wanted to be a musician, back in the days,” Sam intervened, putting her phone down again.
“Really? What instrument do you play?”
“I sing, mostly… play guitar too.”
“But you didn’t make a career out of it? Not that it’s surprising, it’s a tough field to work in. Most people can’t make a living out of it. Like… there’s so much competition, so few who actually get to make it. It must be a tough life.”
“A few of his friends made it though, and he had the talent for it,” Sam went on. “But Andy is not one to compromise easily.”
Andrew stared at her with a raised eyebrow.
“What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged.
“You could have had a record deal, had you accepted to change a few things about your songs.”
Andrew huffed, he could barely believe his ears…
“There was never an opportunity for me to record my own songs, and you know that. I didn’t want to sing those… attempts at pop hits that felt soulless to me.”
“And you didn’t get a record deal.”
“I didn’t want that kind of deal. I wanted to record the songs I had written.”
She didn’t say a thing, but her thoughts were loud enough for Andrew to guess them.
And then you didn’t record any of those either.
“Why are you saying all that like you’re resenting me?” Andrew asked, and Sam shook her head.
“I don’t resent you, of course! It was your choice.”
“You do sound like it though…”
“I’m just pointing out that you’re not the kind of guy who compromises much.”
He raised an unimpressed eyebrow and huffed again.
“You’re one to talk…” he mumbled.
Andrew spent his time compromising. Had he not compromised when he wanted to take a job in London and had settled for Dublin instead because she didn’t want to move there? When she refused to move in with him and asked for more time to find herself? When she chose most of their topics of conversations? When he barely talked about his work?
He let out a long exhale, took a bite of the overpriced fish he had ordered. He didn’t even like the food…
Sam spoke again, about some stupid tv reality she had been watching with Frank, and you listened even though you hadn’t seen it. Meanwhile, Andrew wanted to talk about music with you again. He wanted to ask you about Duke Ellington, he wanted to ask you what songs you liked, he wanted to listen to you ramble about how music made you feel. Your thoughts were always interesting, he could have talked with you for hours… and sometimes he did.
But he shook himself. He wanted Sam. He wanted to have Sam back, and nobody was perfect. There were some things in Sam that annoyed him or disappointed him or that he didn’t understand but at the end of the day she was Sam, and that was enough for him.
He was quieter throughout the rest of the evening, trying to do some damage control over the couple of tensed moments that had occurred during the night.
But then the conversation settled on the wedding itself, and things turned ill all over again…
“And we need to settle on a cake too! Christ, everything is complicated when you’re planning a wedding!” Sam laughed, while Andrew was tightly closing his fists under the table, until his nails drew crescent marks into his palms, while you looked away in a hurry.
“You know… I thought we could choose a strawberry cake,” Frank said. “It’s a classic, most people like those…”
“Sam is allergic to strawberries,” Andrew answered without thinking.
An uncomfortable silence settled across the table.
“Oh… you didn’t tell me that, babe,” Frank told Sam, who frowned.
Clearly, she had told him before, but she said nothing.
“Well, we’ll choose something else!” Frank shrugged.
“What about your career, then?” you asked your ex, staring intensely at him.
“My career?”
“You… you used to say that you wanted to wait to get married because you needed to focus on your career.”
Slowly, Frank nodded.
“Yeah… that’s true. I used to want that. But… it’s different with Sam.”
Andrew saw the pain that shot across your features. There was so much anger that ran through his veins then…
“Right,” you nodded.
“Like… my work seemed the most important, but now… not anymore. Or… not in the same way. So, why wait?”
“Why wait, indeed…” you slowly nodded while Frank and Sam exchanged a tender gaze, one that made Andrew nauseous.
He looked down at the piece of cheesecake he had barely touched, decided not to eat it. He couldn’t get anything more down…
The meal ended in a quiet mood, with conversations spent mostly between Sam and Frank, but the couple seemed satisfied with this situation. When they disappeared in a cab together, Andrew felt emptier than ever. A shell without a pulse or any other semblance of life…
“Andy?”
He turned around to look at you standing behind him in the street, right before the restaurant. Your frame was illuminated by both the white light coming from the restaurant’s sign and the orange hues of the streetlights.
He caught himself thinking that you were beautiful, had to push the thought away. But you were. You had dressed up tonight, undoubtedly to impress Frank, just like Andrew had tried to impress Sam with his careful choice of outfit. And Andrew was impressed, at any rate. You were gorgeous…
You offered him a humourless smile.
“Tonight was… a lot, right?”
He nodded, letting out a long exhale through his nose.
“You can say that…”
“I can’t say that it went… incredibly well.”
“No… it was… strange.”
“Let’s put it that way, yeah.”
“I’m not sure it helped us make any progress.”
“I’m not so sure either. On the contrary. But we tried, at least.”
Andrew nodded, looked at you as you heaved a sigh.
“You know what I want right now?”
He shook his head, tilting his head to the side as he waited for you to speak again, his hands now buried in his pockets.
“I really… really… want to get drunk. Like… hammered. Properly destroyed.”
Andrew exploded with laughter.
“You know what… sign me up! Getting very drunk sounds nice!”
“Let’s go to my place. I don’t want to be surrounded by people anymore,” you offered, and Andrew easily accepted.
As he followed you throughout the street, he reckoned that at least one thing in this evening could be pleasant, after all.
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Delicos nursery!?! Fic requests!?! Please please~~
Dino classic marries a plus size woman who at first seems cold but is a total sweetheart and just doesn't understand why people are afraid of her husband? She adores her step son like her own and even call him teddy for short? I love the sunshine x grumpy trope!
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There were many things Dino liked about being an aristocrat. Power. The prestige. Being apart of the inner circle of their society.
The one thing he hated about being an aristocrat was the parties.
But, if you wanted to be apart of the inner circle, and get the power & prestige, there were a certain number of social events that were an unspoken mandatory for a man of his station. Particularly one with a new wife, whom he was obligated to introduce to society as such. What a bore.
Luckily, his new wife was much more adept at these kind of things than him. Bright and bubbly, with a family almost grievously overconnected, his new wife took to the party like a fish to water. Talking to everyone and making efforts to re-introduce herself to old friends & new as the current Lady Classico.
Dino entertained himself back in a corner. A position he had grown comfortable with since he was a young man forced onto these parties; until his mother made him come out and talk to people, as he was never going to get married rooted to the ground like a wallflower. He just liked to watch more than participate. He felt it was easier to gauge the situation, gather intel, from the sidelines than in the fray. Plus people being near him always seemed to make his skin crawl.
A while later he noticed his wife coming over to him. A noticeable, deep pout on her lips. One he had never seen; save for the pretend ones she threw at him when she wanted to get her way. This one seemed real though. “What’s the matter?”
“These people are rude.”
This shocked Dino. As he had also never heard his wife speak ill of anyone either. She always seemed to find the good in others. Found the good in him. “How so?”
“They make underhanded comments about you and seem to think I’m too stupid to understand them.” Dino frowned at that. His wife was not stupid. They could say what they wanted about him, some of it probably true, but they would not speak ill of his wife. “Would you…be terribly disappointed if we go? I do not want to make a bad impression, but I also do not think I can screw on a smile much longer?”
Disappointed? Dino thought. He’d jump up an’ click his heels, if only his back would ever forgive him. “Of course. I’ll have our coats and coach sent for.” His wife smiled. Seeming to want to kiss him in her enthusiasm, but remembering they were in public.
Dino instead took her hand in his and kissed her glove where his ring would be. “Could we also take some cakes home for Teddy?” She had taken to calling Theodore that. At first he tried to talk her out of it, but she commented that he was just so cute. Theodore didn’t seem to mind (in fact he seemed to enjoy it judging by his blush) so Dino let it go. “I know you don’t like him to have many sweets but…once in a while can’t hurt. They’ll just throw them away at the end of the night anyway.”
He glanced at the elaborate dessert table. Days of work for the host’s staff. Barely touched. All to go to waste as she predicted. “Take two. The two of you can have them after dinner tomorrow night.” His wife grinned and scurried off to the table to collect her sweets while he called for their coach.
When they arrive home it is late, but not too far gone. His staff greet their new lady and she made quick work to greet them back before running upstairs to try and catch Theodore before bed. He was likely up reading late anyway.
Dino stood there in the foyer, watching her go, before he looked down at the parcel of cakes suddenly in his hands. He opened the lid to see what she had picked and smiled. Not surprised to see 3 slices instead of 2. See, his wife was very clever. She seemed to have no end to surprising him.
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ibunyang · 3 days
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pirate au go brr. sorry quick lore drop about this au
so it starts with moleswift(DUH...) as pirates they were first mate and his captain (swifts) captain, they were probs looking for something to make them immortal idk fountain of youth pirates of the Caribbean core, they find it they drink from the fountain and mike dies almost instantly compared to norton and he has to get traumatized to see him die in his arms
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Norton realizes he is immortal under the full moon like he's full skelly under the light, so he's just actually a dead man walking. Mike's dead tho but he gets another form of immortality (constant reincarnation)
Anyway, norton and every iteration of Mike throughout 500 years
< soul and sparrow - i think this was his ronald of ness era where he was still trying to hide the fact he was immortal so he kept changing his identity, the first ever time he met another mike that found in a barrel at like 19 years old.. maybe idk, sparrow grew part of his Golden Rose crew, during the whole time… and mike looked up to him as his captain.. until smth more… Ronald projected swifts the most on sparrow, and honestly ended up having to leave him when sparrow was realizing that norton wasnt aging at all since they met, he had to leave him bc he was having an existential crisis about being immortal and not aging at all anymore no matter how he tried to hide or ignore it, so he left sparrow (and the crew, basically fakes his own death.) this is when he just embraces his immortality at this point, after being kind of a recluse for a while
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< cocoa and soul - maybe 100 years after sparrow, and hes given up trying to fake his identity, he has the face paint and everything, hes mostly known as soul now.. cocoa is the owner of an inn and he meets him every time he docks at his towns port, hes nice to him kind.. much softer than sparrow or swifts, but still as cocky and confident in himself (he notes that this mike smokes) cocoa lets him stay over whenever he wants to (hes trying not to get attached to this mike , so hes thankful for the fact that hes not a pirate or a sailor, just someone he can come home to any time, his light house per say.) he didnt have to do a painful goodbye with him, just a letter and the occasional sack of gold and jewels to spoil his favorite chef.
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<pomegranate mike, and soul honestly pomegranate was probably part of a traveling merchant boat that got destroyed at sea, luckily souls crew was around to fish them out of the water, this mike tho wasnt interested in anything that he had to offer preferring the life of being free with his guild at sea or anywhere, he loved to entertain but staying with soul probably felt like a cage. he probably asked soul to take them to the nearest port, hes was a nice equally fun mike, but wasnt interested or too scared to commit to soul. (Wahh da one that got away) soul respects him, of course, but it cant be denied he was hurt over this. and he grew a little bitter because of it.
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<cunning and soul.. - at this point 300 years passed already…pomegranate was the last mike he found and he didn't stay with him long and let him go without fighting because thats mikes choice man WHATEVER anyway, this is nortons sad emo boy era or as i like calling it weezer norton era. he became relentless, ruthless and his name was known through the seas, hes travelled the world at this point and his immortality has never failed him yet. he learned magic from patricia at one point, and now he has a crew of ghosts he necromanced into life to man his ship,- really kicking up the visuals in my head here but he has a literal ghost ship, its a physical ship but everyone on board is probably a ghost or a zombie (WHATEVERR MY AU MY WORLD BUILDING I SAY THEY EXIST.) anyway (onepiece reference i guess) when he saw cunning in one of the meetings for idk pirates or smth, tagging along with hollow (also a pirate bitch on his ass for the past years hes annoying as hell), he ws down right pISSED. (he hasnt seen a single mike reincarnation in 300 years, hes tried sleeping around getting over him, but NOTHING really compares to his soulmate.)
BUT anyway basically, in this au Hollow is looking for Alice (eternity whatever) and Soul knows where she is so he makes a bargain, he'll give Hollow Alice in exchange he gives him of of his most trusted men. (Points at cunning.) IF he gives him Alice in a pretty little bow for him, he can have cunning for himself.
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Cunning is like "pft. Yeah right. You're not gonna find her before we do." And soul is just smiling (horny depressed and has been blue balled for years at this point, u don't know what this guy can do) so he just smiles.
Hollow, surprisingly agrees. "OKAY if u find her before we do I'll give my end of the bargain." Cunning is a little upset at this, but he's determined he'll find Alice before soul. (eermmm)
Soul wasn't lying about knowing where Alice was tho, so he kidnaps her and takes her to hollow. Like a sack of potatoes.
"Gimme gimme." smth like that and mike is so distraught about this he's crying, verbatim; " I don't want to be that bag of bones property- I'm not property " but he's already at souls shoulder and he's kicking and screaming. He's such a bitch in this au I LOVEE BITCH ASS CUNNING WHINEY WHORE. nortons kind of an ass here and hes sort of using him as a way to distress the last 300 years away. Before he spoils him with everything hes gotten (for mike.)
So it's just rough hostage core treatment for the first couple of months until he starts using the money he's been hoarding on mike to spoil him.
But anyway, after cunning dies in idk when, 🤷‍♂️anyway when he dies kay the next one and final one is quinlan, he's an immortal vamp/witch and hes the only mike who remembers every mike reincarnations memories, he knows that soul is out there looking for him but he doesn't care about that rn, in this life he's looking for his mom, and ignoring souls horny whale calling in the back of his mind until they inevitably cross paths BEC they are SOULLMATESS AUGRGRHSHAHAGGZ In my head the way they meet went like this "Mole."
soul looking at him in surprise bec ever since someone misheard his name being soul and he grew tired of correcting people its mole, he hasn't heard that name in years. he wasn't even sure if this was his Mike, he doesn't have the blue eyes he used to have they were more green/gold… and each mike he's met always had swifts eyes. So thats why he's like emo. Do u get it anyway, this is their reunion in the middle of an pub that cocoa bean used to run, they standing in front of each other and quin almost looks too relaxed when their EYEESS MEEETTT FUCKKK anyway, "Swift?" and theres just that LOOK thats unmistakably mikes on his face that mole just couldnt help but take him into his arms like a the sad depressed man he is. They kiss and they start sailing together forever until they turn to ashes.
THE ENDD
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soraaskiess · 5 hours
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If you’re a problem , I’m a disaster ( Dan Heng x reader)
Criticism is appreciated!
Spoiler alert!
credits to cafekitsune for the border!
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Ever since the incident at the Luofu and the revealing of Dan Heng’s past , you’ve noticed that he looks guilty most of the time , during dinner , when you ask him a question , and others stare at him silently.
You’ve told him that if he needs someone to talk to you’re always available no matter what , and wouldn’t even mind if he woke you up at 2 AM in the morning because he wanted to recommend you some books or ramble on about some planets culture.
Yet.
He shakes his head like he’s a burden and just says .
“ I should be the one apologizing , for deceiving you all .”
( He doesn’t know how much you love him , if he asked , you would tear out the stars and hand them to him , even if your soul burned to ashes)
( He forgets how many times he deals with you , the trailblazer, and March’s bullshit, with a straight face and protects them all the time )
( He forgets how many times he fished the trailblazer out of trash cans , withstood all of your excited ramblings and you and March’s shenanigans, dragging him over to stores and making him take pictures .)
So when he shuffles out of the way when you walk by to the data bank you ask” What’s wrong?”
He just sighs and says” Are you truly not mad at me?I mean…. I’ve hidden this from you guys for so long…”
You just smile at him and say ,” Do you consider hiding personal information a bad thing?”
He stares at you , and you stare at him ,” Well…. “
You gently pinch his cheek and tell him ,” It wasn’t even your idea to reveal your past to us , yet it was revealed anyway , also it wasn’t even your sin that you had to repent for . If you’re a problem then me , March , and the Trailblazer are a disaster because we’ve gotten us into trouble most of the time , and most of the time you’re fishing us out of it or defending us.”
You smile at him softly , his face shocked and tell him,” You’re the guard of the express, nothing will ever change that. “
You gently press your forehead to his and cradle his cheeks as you watch him close his eyes and press his lips together.” You….”
“ Wherever you go , you’re not a burden , we’ll stand by your side and defend you to the end”
He smiles softly
He doesn’t doubt that,The Astral Express is his home now
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terresias · 1 year
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made a new miraculous, miraculous du poisson, but hijab friendly :3
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bacchuschucklefuck · 2 months
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this has been a roller coaster of a design journey but finally I can present you: class swap artificer!adaine and rogue!fabian
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#fh class quangle#goodbye... goodbye hoodie kid adaine..... we have mecha pilot/power armor adaine instead#I couldnt really land how she'd get a hoodie reliably in freshman year given the abernants pattern of confiscating shit from her#so I kinda switched gear and dug a bit into a like sukeban aesthetics instead. and since shes with the AV club I like the idea of#like a radio coord thing for her. hence the suspenders#I fully admit the sukeban thing is influenced by the hacker woman in ghostwire tokyo who I have a small crush on#she's SO cool. too bad about a number of things with that game#the jacket of useful things is a racer jacket this time bc Im predictable like that#her ensemble in junior year is her tank top + overall it might not be clear enough in the pic...#just had the thought ''man I should do turnarounds for all of them'' and immediately had to slap myself out of it#anyways uh! fabian I have inflicted with my favourite thing to do to characters who like to stealth or fly under the radar#which is Bright Extremely Noticeable Jacket That Hides Your Hands#fabian's ghost motif has led me to the famous horror movie trope of silhouette with iconic jacket from afar#(see Sinister and Alice Sweet Alice)#and I love to imagine him hanging the coat up somewhere and opponents aiming there instead of at him#but also the raincoat is specifically modeled after the yellow fisherman's raincoat#and. that led to. me thinking abt fabian pulling riz up at that cliff with a net instead of the battle sheet lmao#so his junior year design is fully Fishing. which is so fucking funny it has obliterated all other possibilities from my brain#ranger flavour: captain ahab#I still debate making him carry around an actual fishing rod tbh. right now Im giving him a rifle grappling hook thing#gods. I just think High School Classmate Suddenly Gets Way Too Into Fishing is the funniest fucking thing that can happen#thank you fabian. thank you for giving me this. love you buddy#still blanking on kristen but! throughout this whole storm here I've realised I just need to fuck around
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sea-jello · 20 days
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near soho. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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abyssalhuntersnerd · 2 months
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It's that time of the year again where I put the fish and Amiya in the washing machine...
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#normal posts#specter and skadi will be next but by themselves#fyi I do this because these fellas sleep with me and this year they built a parking right besides my room#so the dirt and dust has gotten all over my room and my plushies are literally brown... so I have to clean them whether I like it or not#normally you don't need to clean them that often but these really need it and I won't wash them by hand cause#the dust and dirt is just stuck there so :/#I'm not a dirty gal I love keeping my room clean but these mf really got the whole house trashed#and that's not even just my room everywhere in the housr has to be deep cleaned#I have to clean my room but I'm still waiting for my dad to help me put up my ikea skadis... but at this point I'll have to myself so#I guess I'll have to watch yt vids lmao#so sorry for being out of socials I'm honestly just really tired and feel like rn things are pretty chill so my presence isn't needed here#and honestly I'm not legally allowed to talk about what's been going with me because I have some respect and would rather not shame people#online for the sake of it <3#so yeah idk does anyone miss me here hsisjddi cause I miss being here but the energy is just not it#I'm tired but I wished I had more energy for things#sighs#but yeah I will post room stuff since I will be putting some arknights decorations around once I get stuff sorted out#I can't hide that stuff anymore you know#gotta face my fears and honestly? a gift isn't something that the gifter owns it's the gifted and it's okay to be sad about it but#gotta start facing shit and being proud of stuff even if my ak energy is very low because of my personal stuff#anyways sorry for the rant but I kinda just wanted to get it off my chest I know most people won't care and they just want fish but#thanks for reading and making it all the way down here I love you
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sweetsuke · 11 months
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narukana bffs. you agree 🫶
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abutterflyobsession · 9 months
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I pull out so many random facts about the making of Lord of the Rings that people usually respond with, 'how do you even know that?!'
oh, friend.
my brother, a most pretentious lotr fan, snatched up the extended edition hot off the shelf and for weeks it was the only thing on the tv all day long. I've seen every commentary, every special feature . . . twice. maybe more. I didn't have a choice.
#a butterfly obsesses#I've forgotten so much but still#maybe I just don't hang out with nerdy enough people and the rest of you know all this but:#billy boyd every time Minas Tirith is on the screen: I love Minas Tirith#Dominic Monaghan: shut. up.#sean austin forgot to put his waistcoat on for the scene where they all say farewell to frodo so they had to reshoot the whole thing#everybody had to cry again. but the second recording ended up blurry and they had to reshoot a 3rd time. nobody was happy with sean#when sam shows up to fight shelob his hand and sheathed sword appear first like the start of a duel in a western#that's actually peter jackson's hand#sean austin could 'see' shelob when they were filming those scenes. he could very vividly imagine her.#after he saw some cgi test footage of her he lost the ability to imagine her and had to work to get it back#dominic or billy I forget but one stole a skull from the scenes with the army of the dead#after pirates of the Caribbean came out they had to change the design for the army of the dead because the ghost designs were too similar#they built a huge dead Oliphaunt for the battlefield (peter wanted it to be bigger tho)#the people linking up plastic rings for the chain mail wore away their fingerprints on their pointer fingers and thumbs#they basically thawed a frozen stream so andy serkis could dive in and chase a fish in the ice-cold water#I want to say it was billy boyd who had to get a dental procedure done and opted to do with without being numbed#because he had to shoot a scene right after. however he sweated so much his hobbit feet came off#by the time they were put back on the medication would have worn off anyway#viggo mortensen got part of a front tooth chipped off and wanted to finish the scene before having it fixed but they forced him to go#when auditioning horses for the scene the horse kneels down to let the wounded aragorn get on a horse was disqualified for sit on the dummy#the HUGE ring they used for perspective shots
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mesmerizms · 4 months
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i am BEGGING restaurants to stop putting cheese and garlic on LITERALLY EVERYTHING EVER
#LITERALLY TWO OF MY WORST FOODS AS AN AUTISTIC PERSON#sob sob#i'm going out for lunch with my family tomorrow#and we're going to this place that my sister suggested#and she's like ''oh yeah the food there is so good''#and the menu is. literally THE most unfriendly to my flavour of 'tism#one time my sister took me to a restaurant on a whim and i was happy to go because i trusted her#but i looked at the menu (after sitting down) and nearly had a panic attack#and no i can't ask for anything to get removed because whenever i do it's like a 50/50 for if it actually gets removed#and then i feel like an asshole asking for them to fix it#because i don't want them to think that i'm just an annoying picky eater#bc i've already asked once#for example this place does a chili but they put cheese on it (there is no menu variant without cheese)#but like previously mentioned cheese is no bueno para mi#like i can sometimes have it but only in very specific circumstances#and cheese on top of chili is NOT it#i love chili though#but if it arrives with cheese then i can't just scoop it off. it's already been Contaminated#one time i ordered fish and chips with garden peas and they gave me mushy peas instead and i can't eat that#so i sent it back and they came back a few seconds later with the majority of the mushy peas scraped off#but it still had the residue all over the fish and the chips#and i can't eat that!!!!!#and then because it was a pub and not a restaurant i had to stand awkwardly at the bar trying to get someone's attention#it was awful#anyway i should make a vent tag#shapes.vent
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abyssalpriest · 12 days
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Damnit lev lmfao. I was thinking about Shiva wearing corpse ash being resonant for other reasons, something about his relationship with the Bright Skinned Ones and death and whatever. No, no. More fucking importantly: Oh I wonder why Shiva is known for. you know. wearing bodies. his appearance is a mass of bodies joined together. yeah
#Leviathan is a mass of bodies. Shiva wears the ash of burned corpses. Transforming in both cases the masses into the Matter of the Bodiless#ramblings //#leviathan //#Maheshvara //#Not surprised this is coming up now he loves his fun fact time. Earlier I was poking at what he was doing#because he's... very distracted. And uh. Somewhere over yonder doing war stuff with people. And I was thinking about how he is just so many#circumstance based people at the same time. He'll be doing paperwork in a Royal Office somewhere and on a battlefield elsewhere and#running through the forest as a deer somewhere else and living as members of a school of fish in some transcendental lake#and scrying the pools of God and watching birds in a forest... and he incarnates here too and will be a chef downtown#and a teacher somewhere else up also doing paperwork and some dog on the street begging for food and and and#And over all of it... That central blissful mind that is water itself. all it's senses of self - emotions. thoughts. and so on - arising#from its various movements and shapes as reflections on the surface. But also... a sweet thing. Anyway#That black umbrella Lev that's deep and beyond names... beloved.... Searching for someone...#Shiva throws himself down into reality to bounce around as rays of light... the sun incarnating through the day sky into plants then into#animals and so on slowly recollecting more and more who he is. Searching for Shiva#always. Well. You found him. But then... Well. You go past the crying screaming stage of birth and then you get to fun#You gestate. You know who you are when the Sun's light touches your eyes. You scream at it. You change. You grow.#Then you learn the world is fun... People talk about how it seems ridiculous that someone who had achieved oneness would come back#and I wholly agree on a side thought relevant to that that most people who claim to know oneness don't know it#because the idea of oneness itself is actually a product of duality IE you have to be on a world where Two exists to understand One#One doesn't exist in a unified world. There's no One. In a unified world... So you can absolutely achieve a state of oneness while still#being non-unified if you don't truly get it... But anyway. On the why come back thing... Yeah people don't get it. But people who do get it#come back all the time. This reality is just an experience. You can spend your entire life asleep or you can come play and experience#So. Lev's incarnations on this plane mirror his incarnation of Shiva Into Bodies... He comes here to play games. He plays#He takes photos. He wanders. He plays music for people on street corners. He laughs. He loves. He suffers. He experiences.#Sometimes he doesn't understand. Sometimes he understands. Anyway.... Looking through his eyes... Iridescent scene of cranes#flying over a sunset more rich than I've ever seen on earth but so natural. Fire without fire. Water catching and soaking up every colour.
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toasteaa · 23 days
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Lied again, thinking about Manu's folklore au fic once again -
#toast talks#I HATE YOU BLOOD MOON LET MY BRAIN STAY IN ONE MOOD FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR P L E A S E#But anyways I love you folklore aus I love you ancient magic I love you atmospheres of romance entrenched in mystery#I was trying so hard to keep myself from thinking about it to heavily in an eclairette light but that is legally impossible for me#Especially since she was born in Petrichor and travelled to and from the island for a lot of her childhood#Are the thoughts blending with the folklore-ish/sovereign of the sea au thoughts I've had for months? Maybe.#I don't even remember where that old drabble is but I do remember it included something about#a legend of 'Monsieur La Mer'.#No one knows who (or what) he is. But then again...no one has actually *seen* him either.#Some say he's the Hydro Sovereign that used to be worshipped in Fontaine. Others say he's a living curse that tricks people#into walking into the sea and never looking back. Does he drown them? Devour them whole? No one knows.#And others still believe that it's just an old fairytale made up to keep children (and some adults) from straying too far into the ocean.#I like the idea of finding him or fishing him out of the Fontemer on accident and - of course - something is wrong or he's injured#and he can't return to the waves as quickly as he would like.#Not entirely fond of being helped by a human but not exactly in a position to reject their aid.#idk my brain is a little frazzled and this isn't making as much sense as I would like but kjdghnvk it is a constant thought
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mars-ipan · 24 days
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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toytulini · 1 month
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its clean its fucking clean i cleaned it
#toy pic post#undescribed#40gal#then dad dismissed how much fucking effort it took whether intentionally or not and i got so angry cos i already was having to#outsource reward chemicals or whatever the fuck to chocolate covered pretzels and a soda#and i was so overwhelmed from exhaustion and overstimulated to be fucking graciously regulating my emotional responses to him saying#Stupid Shit that i just got so angry i had to sleep#but i was. really determined. to manuafacture some kinda fucking reward. so i played viddygame until i fell asleep#bc that seemed like it would be better for my brain than straight up rage napping#anyway. i will. attempt the 90gal tomorrow. todayrrow. im going to. get up and get a snack and then brush my teeth and go to bed for real#bc i just cant stop fucking Horse Sleeping. i guess#so close#still much to do. i have to do the 90 and put the plants back on top of the 40 but its already so much quieter in here#which is good for me not being driven insane by. the sound of my failure to do a task.#shit i still need to dose fertilizer as well. i will try to do that before i go back to sleep#but i was too fucking angry to be thinking about Ratios of Liquid without exploding so its good i didnt attempt it earlier probably#anyway.POSTIVES: ITS CLEAN. I CAN SEE IN THE TANK AGAIN. THE PLANTS I SHOVED IN THE TOP ARE GROWING CRAZY#EVEN IF THEYRE A BIT UGLY AND LEGGY. I DIDNT FIND ANY DEAD FISH. THE KUHLIS CONSTANTLY SWIMMING UNDER THE ALGAE SCRUBBER#WAS A LITTLE ANNOYING AND INCONVENIENT BUT ALSO. CUTE AND ENDEARING. I LOVE THE STUPID NOODLE ANIMALS#i got a lot done today even if it wasnt all i wanted and many of the tasks were tiny. it got the big fucking task done that was hanging ove#over my head for weeks and making me feel intensely guilty. and now its so QUIET. like the 90 is still loud sure! but its just One of them#now!#the fucking palpable relief
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ayakashibackstreet · 2 months
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I think a big boy crime should take place in the neighbourhood again, would maybe drive away the developers and bring back some of the character of the area <3
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