#anyway. rn. anxious
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Lads you'll never guess what. Anxious Again.
#woes of emily#i need a break so bad.#in 2 weeks ive got 5 days off#this will fix me i think#I've not had anything but my usual days off all year 😭 not even a sick day i am dying#ik this is like. normal. but its a lot for me#I've been a little bit worried recently that i have something wrong with me that's causing fatigue#because sometimes i can't do anything/all i do is sleep#anyway. rn. anxious#ive been okay all day just. evenings...
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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Proof that I do do comics sometimes
#based on a textpost I made a while back#props if you know which one it is!#anyway feeling super anxious at the moment and not super strong in my posts rn so I won’t be on for a bit#sorry for the deleted posts haha anxiety be killer#with fandoms there always comes a time where I end up rambling too much and then things become not as fun so time to take a steppp back#no more posts for a bit
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if i lead
The words are stolen from Feliciano’s lips in a terrific rush of joy, his mouth dropping and tears welling up in his eyes as he comes face to face with the brother he’s spent the past four years of his life searching for. There aren’t words in any language he knows that truly express how thankful he is to see him, knowing that all of his effort wasn’t in vain because Lovino is here and he’s alive--! Lovino, however, doesn’t seem to share the sentiment.
hi so remember how i said i was writing a spamano pirate au. here's the first chapter (_/_\)
#my art#technically..... lmao#spamano#i dont wanna tag it as anything else#im always so anxious to cross post my writing lol#anyway i have to go and finish painting my bathroom now bye#i dont know how often im gonna be able to update it.... but know im Locked into writing it rn. i have about 41k in a rough draft phase rn#also its so very self indulgent so like.... im sorry lmao
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Presentation done!!! The birds are singing, sun is shining, life has meaning again etc. That was the last shitty thing for my bachelor’s degree; it’s smooth sailing from here (only writing & coding and nothing too scary/social)
#idk how it went#like yea my voice was shaking somewhat but that’s just something that can’t be helped#I did get like lot of post-presentation conversation & questions which bodes good things#like that u’ve been clear enough that ppl got out of it enough to form questions & opinions#but I also kind of think that might’ve been like pity-interest bc it was clear I was anxious as hell#anyways however it went it’s done and I’m taking the rest of the day off guilt-free#also again I discovered that the best thing for anxiety is to do the things that makes u wanna die and I hate that#bc like if I had another presentation tmrw I’d get it done sm better bc got less anxiety rn#but ohmygod doing those things sucks ass#april 2024#2024
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Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ
#having hyperfixations/special interests combined with a PARALYSING fear of change SUUUUUCKSSS MAAAAANN. IT SUCKS ASS#like realistically I KNOW it’s silly and I KNOW I’ve got nothing to stress over BUT ITS STRESSING ME OUT BAD AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO#RE4R/Luis has been SUCH a massive comfort of mine and turned into a full blown special interest and I guess the thing I’m most scared of is#the fandom moving on and forgetting abt re4r/luis as a whole which again I KNOW is silly but I can’t control my brain!!!!#and also combined with the fact that Luis probably isn’t coming back to the franchise at least anytime soon is HEARTBREAKING man. like thats#my special interest!! that’s the thing I’ve poured hours of my time into!!!!! I’m scared to see people move on#he’s already a fairly unpopular character in the wider fandom too!! and the fact that the content we do have of him is ALL we’re gonna have?#I dunno that makes me so much more stressed out and anxious than I should be which. again. I KNOOOOOOWW IS SILLY BUT I CANT HELP IT MAN#THE AUTISM!! THE AUTISMMMMM#I dunno I’m expecting Capcom to announce their next game this summer fest and it’s genuinely stressing me out sm which I hate#I hate being so afraid of change it sucks so much man#anyways sorry for the massive vent I just had to get this off my chest cuz it’s been weighing me down massively and making me more anxious#than it has any right to BCNDNENDJXJ#and again the fact that there’s a solid chance we may never see him again at lest not anytime soon is so so so so so devastating to me it#again makes me so much more upset than it has any right to HDNSHENDJDJ#not to mention people who are already weirdly mean and nasty to people who DO like him. I’m Not having a Time rn
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veep dad comfort art
#veep dad :]#i have Not been well mentally tbh the second im with friends i DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE anyways ill be VENTING A TINY BIT HERE#i need excitement in my life but im like#has no social life#oopsies...!#so i thought yknow what would make me happy rn. My Veep Dad#yea thats it#also ive been struggling with motivations to play ttcc and draw so....#apologies for being in the game less. especially as im in the post game with almost everything done#im usually kinda really goal oriented in games and yeah having no tasks or close friends to play with#im just kinda THERE and getting that initial push to do stuff is very hard#my motivation has just been at an all time zero (again) and it upsets me bc i do wanna do stuff...not bc ohh productivity but bc#i just wanna HAVE FUNNNN#anyways erm.... thanks for listening to my little rant here again. i dont know where else to express this sort of stuff. feels wrong to dum#it on strangers who i know are there for my art but. whatever. yknow#just wish i was more motivated in general but my life is Just Kinda Sad and im an Antisocial Anxious Wreck Dear Cog#senior vice president#sr vp#veep dad#personal tag if i dont wanna main tag....#doodles#traditional art#guz art#toontown
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when you can't tell if your feet are really cold bc the temp recently dropped and your body is just reacting to that or like. if this is an actual medical concern. or if it's nothing and your health anxiety is just overblowing it.
#i'm really panicking abt it tho like. i have socks on and the heat on by my feet feel so cold#i'm worried it's a circulation issue or like. idk blood clots#i feel woozy with anxiety just typing that#i don't even know how i'd know if it was that and i absolutely cannot google symptoms or i'll really start spiraling#i feel ill with anxiety and like i knowww like it probs is me just overblowing nothing#i've also had issues with temp regulation in the past esp in winter#one yr my feet were literally blistering and so so painful from the cold (i was living in a place with really shit heating tho)#like i know these things rationally. but i cannot stop the anxious spiral#i'm also home alone rn so that adds to the anxiety#anyways sorry for the oversharing ramble but if i don't type this all out i'll go mad#delete later
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hhh sorry I keep disappearing, life's just been really busy in various ways and I've barely been on social media or anywhere online at all these past few months. been trying to doodle some but haven't been as successful as one would've liked on that front either ha. idk if I'm back for a bit or just passing by, but I have gotten a minor hyperfixation recently on one of my fav movies, which kinda may motivate me to maybe doodle something fnf au adjacent in relation to it so maybe something will be produced we'll see lmao and to be fully transparent it's the lego batman movie, tis very good, highly recommend even if you don't like batman in general, humor is still peak, fun for the whole family, best romcom ever yessir
#but ye anyways see ya soon ish again hopefully fingers crossed for productivity yeehaw#and I'll try to get around to messages and stuff but can't promise anything rn so sorry for being such an anxious antisocial asshole#apologies in general either way
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my anxiety is through the fucking roof what a sick joke
#was being ill not enough?#like let me live and be hot and enjoy life and seeing my friends#why am i a shaking mess rn for NO reason??#hearts beating and i’ve got the worst feeling of dread climbing to the back of my throat like wtf#hearts beating too fast*#that drive home got me so anxious#just like four small things in a space of 48hrs have suddenly set me off like a firework#i feel so fucking grim#like i don’t regret going out bc i know id be like this anyway bc mental health but i can’t help but feel like i wouldn’t at the same time#stelle yaps
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Assignments Update!
Hey Doodlers! Exciting news- we're nearly finished with assignments!
After a lot of hard work on our end and patience from you, we're finally nearing the end of assignments. Which is so exciting!! We'll 100% be finished by the end of the day today, and will be sending them out tomorrow, January 5th, since it's getting pretty late for us and we want to be alert to make sure sending goes smoothly.
Thank you all for your kindness in dealing with the delays, we deeply appreciate it. We'll post when assignments start sending, and then post again when they're all sent out. We hope you're all as stoked as we are- go Doodlers!
#updates#info#important#i know we keep saying it over and over but we really and truly are excited for this to start. we know it's taking a bit longer#but hope that it turns out to be worth it to you all!!#(sammy here) my exhibit is bleeding a little more into things than i thought it would and it's 100% on me for not making more wiggle room#but at the same time there's not much that could have been done anyway. so yeah!#the current biggest problem is people maybe getting anxious over having less time and this event becoming stressful for them. which#is the last thing we want because this event is ALWAYS meant to be just. fun.#so we'll probably be making a poll soon asking if people would like us to push back our gifting week dates and by how much#so yeah! just to keep you all in the loop. i know not everyone reads tags but i figure a small heads up is probably nice#since i don't have the time to make a big post rn. basically things are coming and i swear we're doing all we can for this event#even if there have been delays. we're still very passionate. thank you and bye bye
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my brain is too self conscious i keep being worried that im posting about sonic too much. in the posting website. and im like oh noooo i should post less or post a bigger Variety of Content so my Public wont be Annoyed at me but secretly in my drafts and queue theres just 28364 sonic posts im not allowing myself to post LOL LOL
#again i know its ridiculous i dont need to be self concious about TUMBLR but i get crazy anxious anyway#as if everybody who followed me hasnt followed for a completely different interest 5 months ago anyway#i guess i feel particularly lonely because other than my brother i dont have any mutuals who are into sonic rn ?#so i dont have anyone to talk about it to or post about it together so i cant help but feel like im just being annoying here all on my own#i just want to talk about the hedgehogsssssssssssssssssss#🧃.txt
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ha ha this is fine
#it’s 7am and I’ve barely had any sleep 🫠#like really. really. I was feeling so good. I was excited.#can’t this just go away until next week at least I mean come on#also WHY. THIS TOOTH HAS BEEN ROOT CANALLED YEARS AGO.#yeah this really is the worst possible thing that could have happened to me rn#the dentist makes me extremely fucking anxious#not to mention I don’t even know WHAT dentist I can go to on my current insurance so I have to figure that out too#it’s what I get for putting it off…..#anyway time to DoorDash orajel I guess because I’m on the verge of overdosing over the counter pain meds
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me btw. if you even care
#birdie rambles#on an unrelated note. seasonal depression and horribly intense anxiety are kicking my ass rn#i also have an appointment tomorrow and i’m trying to pretend that im not anxious about it so maybe my brain will believe it 😁#but anyway i hope everyone’s doing well <3 and that you’re staying hydrated and getting rest 🫵🏻
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been doing so. decently. on the tummy hurty turbo nausea anxiety issues. but here we go agaaaaaiiiiinnnnn
#//juri speaks#i do have. a lot of stress in my life rn.#and am going to be By Myself for like the entire week which is a combo im not looking forward to#AND i still dont have health insurance bc HR cant get my info entered correctly#which adds to the usual medical/health anxiety immensely#anyway i think i really want to move back to within like 20 minutes of more irl friends#bc man if they all didnt live so far away id see if someone wanted to come be my roomie for a couple days#(except i wouldnt bc i cant let myself be seen as vulnerable and annoyingly anxious)#((anyway here's hoping tea fixes me and i dont have to throw up later))
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this came on on shuffle and i had a visible reaction to it, girl help
#3 blinkers cause i was anxious#i’m sitting outside on my porch rn‚ and it is 46° but i’m just chilling in pants‚ slippers‚ and a long sleeve button up shirt#WITH THE SLEEVES ROLLED TO THE ELBOWS‼️#anyway song is over time to post#music#text#post#Spotify
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