#now instead I can feel the anxiety sort of coursing through my body and trying to take hold in my brain.

[canisonicscrewyou]

Much like at the end of 2019 when I had daily "the world is ending the world is fuckingending" panic attacks for a while, I do think my solution is logging the fuck off more often. I recommend everyone do that, actually. It helps loads.

[daddy-kinard]

a relatively unimaginative little thing for @bucktommypositivityweek prompt scenes from a fire truck

It’s not the first time they’ve responded to the same call as the 217 engine working ground support, but it doesn’t happen often. Buck thinks this is only the fourth time since Harbor station came to mean something more to him than any other, and two of those times he knew Tommy wasn’t even on shift. Today though, today Tommy’s working, which means probably Tommy’s here. Buck feels his heartbeat pick up in anticipation before their engine has even rolled to a stop, parked up right next to the one branded 217. It hadn’t sounded like the sort of call that would have any of their lives in imminent danger, but Buck knows as well as anyone how quickly that can change.

Thankfully, things don’t escalate any further than expected, and as they start winding down operations the knot of anxiety in Buck’s gut loosens to its baseline - he’ll never be completely calm when he knows Tommy’s out there, trying his utmost to stay safe, to make it back home - to their home - of course, but putting his life at risk nonetheless - and he wonders whether he’ll maybe get the chance to see him before they have to leave.

He’s repacking their gear when he feels a body behind him. The space is tight in between the trucks, and when a hand lands on his hip, he’s about to apologise, to try to squeeze out of the way so whoever it is can pass, when a warm, familiar, voice speaks, right in close to his ear.

“Bobby said I’d find you here.”

“Firefighter Kinard.” Buck smiles as he lets himself be spun around, until he’s face to face with blue eyes that sparkle back at him.

“That’s Firefighter Pilot Kinard, I’ll have you know.”

“Hmm,” Buck muses, pretends to consider it, “you know, I can think of something else I’d rather call you” he lowers his voice to barely above a whisper, “Daddy.”

Buck swears he can see Tommy’s eyes darken in the moment before all 200-something pounds of him is pressing Buck back against the hard metal of the engine. Their lips meet and Tommy kisses him deeply, hungrily, his hand coming up to tangle in Buck’s curls, angling his head the way he wants. Buck goes easily, willingly. He rocks his hips into Tommy’s, wanting more, even though there’s only so much he can feel with two layers of turnouts in between them. He lets Tommy’s mouth wander, to his jaw, to his pulse point, the scrape of teeth and stubble making Buck moan his name softly.

“God, you’re a troublemaker, aren’t you kid?” Tommy huffs as he pulls back.

Images of stolen firetrucks, of being caught with his dick out on the roof of the station, of the countless times he’d given out his number to women on calls, of the few times he’d asked for one of theirs, of an ill-advised appearance at a basketball game, of a soot-covered face in a hospital bathroom mirror, flash through Buck’s mind. A decade’s worth of trouble, now, and he wouldn’t trade where it’s eventually led him for anything. He can’t keep the smile off his face as he snakes one arm beneath Tommy’s coat, resting against his sweaty lower back, to pull him closer for one last kiss.

“Don’t tell me that wasn’t what you came here for?”

Tommy holds up both his hands.

“Alright, alright, busted.” He laughs. “Couldn’t last until tomorrow without kissing my hot boyfriend.” Buck feels his cheeks heat up, turns out there are certain things that don’t get old no matter how many times he hears them.

“118, we’re heading out.” Buck assumes the crackle of Bobby’s voice over the radio is a deliberate warning so he and Tommy can avoid being caught by their co-workers in some compromising position, and he might be peeved if there hadn’t been precedent. Instead, by the time Buck’s team start appearing, the only evidence of their not-quite-PG activities is the state of Buck’s hair - he’ll blame the helmet if anyone dares question it.

“See you at home?”

“Of course. Love you.”

“Love you more, be safe.” He studiously ignores the exaggerated gagging sound Eddie’s making from behind him as Tommy presses one last, chaste, kiss to his cheek.

“Be safer.”

Buck swings himself up into the truck.

“Thanks, Cap.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Buck.” Bobby replies with a smile.

[cultofdixon]

You do what you can

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Grimes’s Sister!Reader • This group desperately needs a home, and you need help. There’s only so much the archer and leader can do • ANGST/SFW • TW: Pregnancy / Excessive Nausea & Vomiting / Malnutrition

Requested by: Anon

NEXT

Hyperemesis Gravidarum, or severe vomitting is what Hershel said. It’s excessive nausea and vomiting that results in being unable to eat and drink because you can’t keep anything down.

Of course I had it.

Finding out I was pregnant in the prison, during the good times was of course bittersweet. Daryl, my partner, was worried about losing me like Lori but reassured that everything would be fine. Then the illness came through and he thought I had it with how intense my morning sickness was.

But Hershel reassured us and well scared us about a lot of the reactions that come with not being able to keep anything down.

“Please, what can I do?”

“Some just have this, Daryl. I’ll keep an eye on her. You gotta help the others”

While Daryl helped get medicine for those suffering the prison illness, he managed to find IV bags of fluids and that helped keep me hydrated when I couldn’t even take a sip of water without my throat burning.

Then well…a lot happened after that

Days have passed and again, a lot has happened. The prison collapsed, the group splitting, Beth’s disappearance, The Claimers,…Terminus, and now the group found themselves in the forest after barley escaping that hell they claimed as a “sanctuary for all” but it wasn’t.

After the small reunion, the group started to walk to…somewhere that wasn’t there. Eventually finding the chapel and the priest that almost lost his life if they didn’t arrive.

Before she even stepped foot into the small chapel, Y/N gripped Daryl’s arm indicating she needed to throw up again and step away to do so. Least she’s trying to inform him instead of disappearing for a few minutes to vomit in the woods. Not a pretty sight or…a pleasant sound.

Rick noticed the two coming in last as Y/N pulls away from Daryl to sit in a pew before ultimately laying down in it. He frowns trying to think of what he could do, she is his sister after all.

“How she doing?” He asks the second the archer approached him after checking on her once more.

“We better have a plan soon” Daryl frowns crossing his arms. “Doubt we’ll run into another hospital but the IV shit helped. Gotta find something like it”

“Or try to get her to drink. Just. Shit, I don’t know what else to do. Lori never had this shit”

The archer was sort of lost in his own mind, trying to plan something out that could help his partner. But every end is a dead one.

“I’m gonna keep watch, holler if?”

“Yeah, go ahead” Rick frowns watching Daryl go back to the pew Y/N was currently laid in, informing her of where he’ll be before stepping out of the chapel and Carol following behind him.

A few hours passed and Y/N jolted awake from an anxious thought only to feel the jacket draped over her which belonged to her brother. She eventually brought herself to sit up and put the jacket on entirely feeling the dryness of her hands, especially after not being able to have nutrients.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Michonne brought herself to sit with Y/N as she instantly rests her head on her friend’s shoulder. “Rick is taking watch and Daryl still isn’t back yet, just thought—-“

“He’s looking for Beth”

“How do you—?”

“Gut feeling…” Y/N frowns bringing her hands onto her small bump, feeling the anxiety bubble up inside her. “Michonne?”

“Yes?”

“…I…I’m afraid of losing my baby” She did her best to keep the tears from coming even if her body fought her against it and worsened her headache by bringing on the tears. “or of them losing—-“

“We will find the help you need. To keep you both alive and well”

But the worse kept coming, and we kept losing.

Bob was the first because of a bite. Then it was Beth at the hospital because of a cop with a trigger finger. Then Tyreese from blood loss because of an amputation caused by a bite. Sasha lost a partner and her brother, Maggie lost the last of her family. The two were on edge, Daryl felt like he failed, and the group was slowly weakening the more they continued on this blind path given the real news about Eugene came out. So no more hope for a cure. It will always be survival for those living through the apocalypse.

Maggie grew extra attached to Y/N given her state and the group can’t take another loss if it happened. Every time Y/N had to throw up or take a breather while the others kept walking, besides Daryl, Maggie was always there glued to her side which included Glenn glued to hers.

“Rick” Maggie called out for him with a bit of venom in her voice as he gave her a concerned look while handing Judith to Carol. “We need a break”

“It’s barely midday, we have to keep walking”

“Y/N can’t keep walking any longer. She needs a break” Maggie frowns pulling him to look directly at Y/N who was struggling to keep herself up even with Daryl’s help.

“Alright…Alright!” Rick nods directing people into the tree line, out of the road, to set up camp for the rest of the day and night.

Abraham took care of checking their surroundings as Sasha retraced their steps making sure they weren’t followed by anything or anyone. Carol got Noah and Glenn to help her set a few trigger lines for those who want to sleep. As much as Daryl wanted to help secure their surroundings, he felt as if he’d leave Y/N, that she’d decline. She’s already doing so but he thought he’d accelerate the process the moment he leaves.

“Can yea try for me?” Daryl frowns giving the last of his water to his partner as she nods, accepting his help with drinking from his canteen. He noticed a bit of a skin reaction on her neck from scratching the dryness as it was the same on her left arm. “Try not to scratch anymore…”

“Hard not to…” Y/N frowns leaning against the tree as Daryl sets his canteen down with his stuff bringing himself to sit against the tree. Gesturing with his eyes for her to lay her head in his lap. “We’ll find something…right, Dar?”

“I promise yea, sunshine” Daryl reassures brushing the hair out of her face watching Maggie approach them draping the blanket Rosita gave her to give Y/N over her body. The poor girl had already fallen asleep after being still long enough. “We’ll find somewhere right?”

“If we have to take it from somebody, then yeah. We’ll find somewhere” Maggie reassures him with a smile but hell, he knew she was anxious about her state.

The night was rough.

While she was exhausted more than the others because of being pregnant and having to be a part of less than 3% of pregnant individuals with hyperemesis gravidarum, she couldn’t control her anxiety jerks that would wake her. Freaking out Daryl every time and him waking resulted in Rick and Maggie waking given they stuck close to the two. Then the almost every hour to vomit. It’s gotten bad that Y/N started to dry heave and that would wake the rest sleeping. But every complain resulted in either her partner glaring at them or her brother snapping.

“My head hurts…” Y/N whispers to herself as the group started walking again the next day, this time she was with Carol while Daryl searched around for anything to have a longer stay in. Away from staying outside.

“Is that it?” Carol’s worry came out of her tone as she brought her arm around Y/N’s waist when she noticed her sway slightly. “You’ve got the last of the water…not like it was enough…we need a miracle or something”

“Kids first…Jude needs it. Carl needs it—-“

“You and your baby do too” Her tone shifted to strict immediately. She remembered how Y/N sacrificed a lot of her things in the past to keep everyone else afloat and she wasn’t about to let her do it again when it comes to her health.

It felt like fate or a foreshadow given after that conversation, everyone surrounded a cluster of water bottles in the middle of the road about an hour later.

“Someone has to test it” Eugene went to grab one and it was immediately smacked out of his hands by Abraham. “What!”

“It could be a trap” Rosita scoffs at him. “You think we’d give a pregnant woman poisoned water”

“Not like I can keep it down” Y/N whispers as she stares at the cluster before flinching to the touch of water. Water?

The storm that Rick expected to come days later, decided to come sooner and thank Mother Nature for that. Few started to empty to bottles and fill it with rain water as it was the next best thing, then those who’ve lost so much took the “peaceful” moment to take it all in.

As Y/N looks up at the rainfall feeling the heat expel her body for a moment and a sudden wave of uncertainty take her. But before she could even be audible about such, her body had enough.

“Y/N!” Maggie yells the second her body hit the floor as Daryl instantly dropped to her aid checking her person for any injury.

But it was just her body shutting down and that thought triggered Daryl.

“I saw a barn a few yards inward. We gotta—-“

Rick didn’t hesitate another moment as he quickly picked up his sister in his arms while Daryl led the way to the temporary shelter he found.

After another rough night and sort of rude morning, Daryl protectively held Y/N close to his person the second she woke around the time this Aaron guy was discovered.

“Hey…hey” Daryl fought back tears watching her wake as she didn’t say anything but rest her head against his chest in a sense of reassurance. “You’re gonna be okay, okay? Please” his voice cracked trying to say more.

“Our community can protect her, your daughter.” Aaron tried to sell this unknown community as he glances to the situation happening behind Rick and directed toward that. “Can save her from dying—-“

Watch your words.

Rick instantly grabbed his collar forcing the man against the nearest wall glaring into his soul. “She ain’t dying and how do I know you wouldn’t kill her in this place?”

“B-Because we won’t! You don’t have to trust us right away b-b-but we have an infirmary. A-A surgeon that knows his stuff”

If his sister wasn’t in this condition, he wouldn’t have give in so easily. Not like he wouldn’t watch this total stranger like a hawk when checking her person.

Which led them to giving about five percent of their trust to this stranger and following him with his partner to Alexandria, the community he talked about. A few residents that helped with the infirmary tried taking Y/N on a gurney but her family was close to killing a few people for trying to touch her without warning. Soon Daryl along with Maggie followed the few that pulled Y/N away on the gurney they brought out after Aaron’s partner Erin radio’d in.

“If you keep glaring, it won’t let me work faster” Peter states, getting the IV into Y/N’s arm after he asked Maggie to help her out of her clothes and into a new change of clothes enough to show some of the skin lesions she had so he could take care of them.

“Don’t do anythin’ without informing” Daryl glares keeping close to Y/N’s bedside on the other side. Peter looks at him with a blank expression, tensing a bit every now and then.

“She’ll stay here until she’s hydrated enough, or least til your group gets placement.” He states hanging the bag after taping the IV on her arm. “Y’all said she’s pregnant?”

For an anxious reason, Daryl gave Maggie a worried expression thinking…yeah…when Peter was simply asking to confirm it or not.

“Yeah, she’s pregnant. Why?” Maggie frowns watching Peter’s every move as he stepped away to one of the storage closets for equipment they have and or get from runs.

“We don’t have an ultrasound machine. Just tests and one of these things I forgot the name of” Peter held a device that could detect the heartbeat of a fetus, as for checking the conditions they’d have to go full old school for that and he’d need to find a book in their library, if they have one on pregnancy. But for now they have this.

Right before Peter even moved the blanket to lift her shirt to put the wand on, Y/N flinched pulling herself away given she woke once more in the middle of all that. Daryl frowns, relieved though, as he brushes back her hair catching her worried expression.

“He’s gonna check on the peanut, Y/N. Just let’em. I won’t let him do anythin’ else” Daryl reassures as Y/N nods slowly letting the man work but kept her eyes on him while he turned the device on and guided the wand to the right spot.

Heartbeat

A surprisingly healthy heartbeat

“That’s good. Strong” Peter states pulling the wand away before fixing the blanket over her and putting the device away. “I’ll come back in an hour or two to give her more fluids. Want me to tell your leader you’ll be in here?” He asks Maggie given the two watched Daryl drop to his knees hugging Y/N tightly her in her laid out state.

“Please.” Maggie gave a small smile letting the man leave before bringing herself to the other side of her bed resting her hand on her leg. “We’ll make this place work. To keep you both safe”

The two held onto one another and Maggie kept an eye on them for Rick before leaving to give them a minute. She kept close to the infirmary in case either of the two needed anything as she watches Rick practically run his way over to her with a worried look.

“She’s going to be okay. They both are” Maggie smiles watching the tension leave Rick’s shoulders for a moment as he instantly went for a hug with his friend.

When they parted, before the retired sheriff went in to check on his sister himself…the remaining Greene stopped him.

“Yeah?”

“We need to make this place work, Rick”

“I know…but—-“

“You can be cautious. We all are gonna be a while…but we all need this to work. For us, your kids, for them. We need this place for us”

“You do what you can for your family, and I’ll always protect mine”

[brienneoftarth1989]

Leave the lights on

Miranda Hilmarson x fem reader

Summary: you had a nightmare in your own apartment. You are screaming and crying in your sleep. Miranda heard you from her apartment and came over to comfort you

Warnings: hurt, comfort, vivid nightmare about death, stabbing

Requests open

———————————

You were running down a dark alley as this shadowed figure ran after you. All you could do was run but you felt like you were getting nowhere. This person was getting closer and closer and there was nothing that you could do about it.

All of a sudden you found yourself stuck at the end of the alley with nowhere to go. You turned around as you rested your back against the wall as the person ran closer and closer and the next thing you found happening was a knife going through your body.

You looked up at the person trying to get a glimpse of the person but you couldn’t make out who it was. Then they twisted the knife inside of you.

Miranda awoke to the sound of muffled cries and screams. She immediately sat up thinking someone was in danger and before she knew what was going on she heard this blood curdling scream. That was it, Miranda jumped out of bed and rushed to get some clothes on.

She ran out of her apartment to try and hear where the sound was coming from and that’s when she realised it was coming from your apartment. You and Miranda have become quite close as friends since you moved in to the apartment complex and the two of you have always spent so much time together.

That’s why Miranda was so concerned when she realised that the screams were coming from your apartment. Miranda was quick to kick the door in and run straight to find you expecting to find some intruder.

Instead she found you curled up in your bed rocking back and forth with tears in your eyes. Miranda slowly turned the light on before making her way closer to you. “Hey y/n, what’s the matter? I heard you screaming from my apartment. Is there someone here? Did someone try to hurt you?” She asked you as she sat down next to you in the bed.

“No…I had a bad dream” you admitted as you tried to comfort yourself. “Oh darling, it’s ok, it’s not real. It’s all over now” Miranda said as she brought you closer to her body allowing you to rest on her chest. You immediately started crying once again.

“Do you want to tell me what happened in your dream?” Miranda asked, wondering if it was something she could help with. “I was being chased in the dark and I ended up running down an alley which led to a dead end. The figure that was chasing me eventually trapped me there before stabbing me in the chest. I tried to see who it was but that’s when they twisted the knife and I woke up” you told her sobbing.

“Oh sweetheart. It’s ok. It’s going to be ok. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. I’m here now. It’s going to be ok” she told you, trying to reassure you. “Please don’t leave me alone” you muttered not wanting to let go of Miranda.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. I won’t. How about I make us some popcorn and we can watch a nice happy film” Miranda suggested which made you smile. “That sounds like a good ideal you muttered as you watched Miranda stand up to head to your kitchen.

“Can you leave the light on?” You asked suddenly, scared that something is gonna get you once it goes dark. “Of course y/n” Miranda smiled as she then left the room. You could still feel the shaking and the anxiety taking over your body and you just needed to find a way to relax.

You could hear Miranda sorting stuff out in the kitchen and then you heard the microwave start and not long after you heard the sound of the popcorn popping. Not long after Miranda came through with a big bowl of popcorn and two cans of Coke that she had got from the fridge.

Hope this is ok she said as she climbed back into bed with you and placed the popcorn between you before handing over the can of drink. “I hope this is ok. Now let’s find a nice calming film to watch” Miranda smiled as she grabbed the firestick remote and turned on the tv.

Miranda found Disney+ and put on zootropolis. Yes it is a kids film but it was something calm and wouldn’t scare you. The two of you happily sat there eating popcorn and watching the film.

Considering it was 2 in the morning you thought you or Miranda would have fallen asleep by now but you seemed to be wide awake. When the film finished you looked over at Miranda who now looked like she was struggling to sleep.

“Can we put Lilo and Stitch on?” You asked Miranda as you cuddled up with her. “Yeah of course” she groggily said as she put it on the tv. You decided you needed to at least try and sleep. So you rested your head on Miranda before closing your eyes and drifting back off to sleep.

Hopefully you wouldn’t have another awful dream but at least Miranda is here to protect you. The next thing you knew was that you were waking up in your nice warm bed. The thoughts of last night came flooding into your brain which only made you smile.

You looked next to you expecting to see Miranda but you were disappointed to find the bed empty. You pulled yourself out of bed and dragged yourself into the kitchen to make yourself a coffee.

That was where you found Miranda with two cups of coffee and a plate of waffles for the both of you. “Aww Miranda. You didn’t have to make breakfast. I thought you had left to be honest” you laughed slightly.

“Nah I couldn’t leave you after last night so I decided to make you some breakfast. I want you to know y/n I am here for you any time of day. Just remember that ok” she smiled at you as you sat down and took a bite of your breakfast.

“Thanks Miranda. Trust me I won’t forget” you smiled at her. “Now come on. Once you have eaten and gotten yourself ready we are heading to the zoo. We need to put some happy thoughts in your brain” Miranda laughed.

You couldn’t help but laugh at what Miranda had said and you couldn’t wait to get to the zoo. Today was going to be a good day after all.

[the-bi-space-ace]

…… I SAW THIS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND NOW IM TEARING UP BEFORE BREAKFAST THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

The one clone getting cut in half always makes my heart break. It’s so horrible and I can’t even imagine what must’ve been going through their heads. I’ve always been rubbed the wrong way by watching all of these clones die one by one and stopping to have a funeral while all the clones just stand there and watch after losing so many. They didn’t get to stop and honor their fallen brothers and it makes me tear up each and every time.

You have given me emotional damage at 8:30 in the morning so as payback…… I wrote you something 😊 enjoy

—

Fives sat on the edge of one of the crates in the weapons storage room, leg shaking. He couldn’t stop thinking about their next mission. The briefing felt like a heavy weight on his shoulders and he couldn’t figure out why. Echo seemed unfazed, busying himself with a few more supplies before they had to ship out. He was packing away some smaller things, poppers, grenades. Anything he could carry. Fives, on the other hand, couldn’t think about that. A sinking feeling had settled in his gut as he listened to what their next mission could be.

The Citadel.

Why did it make his gut clench so badly? His body shivered with unresolved nerves, restlessness coiling around his limbs.

“Fives!” Fives looked up towards Echo who was holding another popper, eyebrow raised in expectation. He must’ve been calling Fives for a while, too caught up in his head to notice. “I asked if you were all stocked up or if you needed another.” Fives shook his head and Echo’s arms dropped to rest at his sides, studying. He put the popper in his bag and folded his arms. “What’s eating you?”

Fives blinked back at Echo, a sudden wash of fear rushed over his skin. Was he losing his touch?

“I don’t like this mission.” Fives admitted, throat tight. Something was amiss. They weren’t looking at this from every angle. Echo’s the strategist. He should know that! Echo’s sternness fell away in a second but there was doubt in his eyes that Fives didn’t like. “Something’s going to go wrong I can feel it. I can’t explain it but I know.”

You have to believe me!

Echo sighed, mind searching through options if the way he looked up was any indication. After a moment he joined Fives on the crater, lifting up and onto it so he could sit with his shoulder flush against Fives’.

“It’s dangerous, I won’t disagree with that,” but. There was always a but. “But, we’ve done our best to be prepared. That’s all we can do.” Fives looked away from Echo’s wide and searching eyes. He couldn’t look at him for some reason. It made his chest clench.

“It’s just a feeling. My intuition is telling me not to go. That this is a bad idea. Isn’t that good for something?” Fives snapped back at him a little harder than he intended, voice clipped with anxiety. It was Echo’s hand on his back that loosened the tension in his shoulders.

“Of course it is. You’re one of the smartest men I know.” Echo shuffled closer but Fives still couldn’t look at him. “But we’re going to be okay, like we always are. No matter how bad it gets.”

“You seem so sure.” Fives muttered. He picked at an invisible blemish on the thigh plate, trying to ignore Echo’s attempts at comfort.

Echo sighed. “I’m sure we’re ready for a mission like this. I’m sure of Rex and Cody’s plans. I’m sure of the confidence they have in us. But above all, I’m sure that you have my back and I have yours. Isn’t that enough?” Fives let his head tilt back to look at the ceiling. Grey, dimpled metal staring back at him. The hand sweeping over his back slid up to card through his hair instead. Pulling out the big guns, huh Echo?

Fives’ lips ticked up towards the closest thing to a smile he could manage. Leaning into the touch he finally looked back at Echo, searching his expression for any sort of doubt. As usual, there was none. All that sat there was confidence and understanding.

“You don’t leave my side. I don’t leave yours.” Fives said it like an order. Most of the time Echo grumbled at his attempts to set some sort of rulebook but this time his brother just nodded. Perhaps he could sense how serious Fives was about the whole thing or maybe he just didn’t want to argue this close to a mission. Either way it gave Fives permission to lean his head against Echo’s shoulder, soaking up the comfort he’d been trying to give.

“I’ll stick by your side the whole time. We’re a package deal. Can’t separate the dominoes even if they tried.” Echo smiled as he leaned his cheek on the top of his head and let out a breath. Having him close always felt like a warm blanket. Someone to understand him better than anyone else. Anxiety still slivered through his veins, cold as ice, but he ignored it to soak in the heavy warmth that was and always had been Echo.

The last dominoes. So far they’d survived regardless of what the galaxy threw at them. The clock was ticking, they’d have to leave soon, and Fives could do nothing but count down the minutes and hope that Echo was right. Like he usually was.

Citadel Arc Strikes Again

Sooooo... I got to the bit of my Clone Wars rewatch that I've been procrastinating for weeks. And obviously, because the Domino Twins are involved, I have thoughts

Of course you all get dragged along as well 😙

Including you @saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings and @the-bi-space-ace

Straight off the bat, look at our boys!!! I get so proud of them when I see them in their ARC armour. And I wanna know how much of a say Cody and Rex got in who came along on the mission because I like the idea of them just being like "our sons are coming and we will accept no objections"

Also, why does Echo look like he's ready to deck someone? Chill, dude. It's literally still the briefing.

But something I wanna talk about is how nervous Fives seems about this entire thing. While Echo seemed to be on board with the whole reprogrammed battle droid plan, Fives was less than enthused. And he was clearly unsure about the carbon freezing thing as well. It makes me wonder if he's been on edge about the mission from when they first found out about it and whether Echo had been comforting him and telling him that it was all going to be fine.

Because nothing makes this episode more gut-wrenching than the idea of a stressed out Fives feeling like something is going to go wrong and Echo telling him that everything is going to be okay. 😃

I don't know what happened to these guys during ARC training but Fives has become the one that's all "are we sure this is a good idea?" and Echo's in the briefing room like

And then we have "They're not about to let one of their own be tortured in the handing over of information that will help The Separatists win the war"

Oh the irony

OH THE FUCKING IRONY

How does this show get more depressing with every rewatch? You think you're prepared but haha NOPE

Of course I have to mention Fives handling carbon sickness like an absolute champ 🤜

This pic is also an accurate representation of my mental state after watching this arc

And I'm not sure why this following pic makes my heart melt so much but it just does.

I think it's because we never got much of these three in action together and just seeing them all in a shot like this just makes me think about how far the Domino Twins have come. Rex found these two when they were shinies and now they're all working together with Echo and fives as ARC troopers. They grow up so fast (literally). 🥲

Edit: Looking back at that pic for a second... are there two Echos? That's not Fives in the back. That's Echo's helmet design. And I'm not convinced that the pouches on the chest plates are on the opposite sides like they should be. Rex is talking to two Echos???

Next episode! Oh boy...

Every other clone death aside for a moment, this show really just glossed over the whole "a clone getting cut in half by a door" thing.

The idea of these three being stuck between two sealed doors with half of their brother is horrifying. And the show just moves on like this didn't happen. THEY JUST WATCHED ONE OF THEIR OWN BROTHERS BE CUT IN HALF BY A DOOR WTF

What a happy kids show 😀

And unfortunately it doesn't get much happier.

But I do want to talk about design for a moment because I feel like we don't talk about the clone helmets enough, especially when it comes to things like this shot.

Animating emotion well is hard. Animating emotion well when you can't see your character's face is harder. But what I love is that because of the fact that the top of the visor is just a straight line, you can change the emotion being shown by simply having the character tilt their head.

The first shot clearly shows Echo realising what he needs to do and the next is this very strong look of determination. Just a split second apart, with no change but the tilt of the head, and the emotion changes. It's so cool and I feel like it doesn't get praised enough.

A three-part tragedy:

I think what makes this so heartbreaking is not just the fact that Fives has now lost his closest brother, and the last remaining member of his squad besides himself, but also the fact that it's so sudden. It so quickly went from Echo and Fives to just Fives.

And this is going to be gutting for Rex and Cody as well. They found the Domino Twins as shinies, they would have watched them settle into the 501st, they watched them grow up, were the ones to promote them ARC troopers and were just so freaking proud of these two.

And they not only lost one of them, but they watched this pair of clones, who have been stuck together like glue from the beginning, be torn apart. They didn't just see Echo go, they saw Fives lose Echo as well and that's heartbreaking.

None of them have time to process it either. They have to get out of there and leave Echo behind.

This scene where Fives warns them about the hounds approaching hurt as well because he just sounds so... hollow. He sounds like a man whose lost all hope, and I don't blame him. There's an emptiness now.

Rant Incoming

THESE POOR CLONES. THESE POOR FUCKING CLONES WHO HAVE JUST WATCHED THEIR BROTHERS DIE AND COULD DO NOTHING BUT LEAVE THEM BEHIND ARE NOW HAVING TO PARTICIPATE IN A JEDI FUNERAL DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY HAD NO OPPORTUNITY TO HONOUR THEIR FALLEN BROTHERS!!!

I'm not saying that Piell doesn't deserve to be honoured and have his body burned (side note: it's really convenient that there was lava everywhere for the whole burning the body thing) but this feels like such a kick in the teeth for the clones.

Also I just want Five's internal monologue here because he literally just watched his closest brother die trying to protect a Jedi who is now also dead. The important info still got back to the Jedi council but Echo gave his life to protect a man who didn't even make it off the planet.

ALSO THEY WATCHED ONE OF THEIR BROTHERS BE CUT IN HALF EARLIER WHY ARE WE IGNORING THE FACT THAT THAT WAS A THING???

Ngl I think I would rather just die than crawl across a wire like this

Despite being depressing as all hell, I do really like these episodes. I love something with actual tangible stakes and having points where they feel comfortable killing off important or well-loved characters is something I appreciate and respect (even if it just leads to endless despair about the Domino Twins).

It's a shame that Echo never gets mentioned between here and the final season because I would love to have explored Fives' response to his loss more. I do like how they handle it in these episodes though. It feels like there is at least some recognition of how Fives would be struggling with all this and it doesn't just have him trotting around like nothing happened.

Fives seemed so nervous for this mission and it's devastating to know how tragic it would be for him and Echo. They didn't go into this knowing that it would be the last time they ever saw each other, but it all got ripped away in an instant and there was nothing they could do about it.

And I think I'm just going to end it on this screenshot because I feel like it just sums it all up.

[sagau-fruit-bowl]

Well, chapter twelve, genuinely didn't think I'd get this far. So! Part 12 of The Guide!

The Guide is an SAGAU (Self aware genshin alternate universe) where [Name], instead of being the Creator of the world, is seen as a god who cares for Teyvat from their actions as the Player.

Also, I am closing the tag list for now. I may open it again in the future but for now, it's closed and I am free.

Masterlist

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If [Name] decided not to spare their pride for a moment, they would admit the fact that being in Razor's presence was a bit awkward but luckily, or unluckily, depends on who you ask, [Name] was an expert in awkward situations.

"Thank you for helping me." They told him which caused his head to jolt up and shake rapidly. 

"No, no, Guide helped Razor. Razor do the same!"

[Name] jolted at the level of anxiety in his voice and frowned before speaking again with as gentle a tone as they could. "I didn't do very much, Razor, but you helped keep me safe, just like you always have… so thank you." They gave him a smile in the hopes of easing his tense shoulders.

He only looked back at the cooking pot and frowned to himself before letting out a low rumbling sound. 

[Name] wasn't sure where the information came from but they knew the feeling he was trying to get across, a feeling of debt and loyalty, but nothing was owed and [Name] had only ruined his life, hadn't they?

But that didn't stop them from trying to comfort or distract the teenager. "Well then, what are you working on?"

He gave a slight smile "Razor makes human food for Guide. Doesn't know what you want…" 

They simply nodded, realizing communication would be a bit of a struggle. "Any kind of food sounds good and I'm sure it'll taste good. I trust you on that."

The mention of trust seemed to be what helped him the most, his formerly taut shoulders loosening and moving backwards as he moved himself in some sort of prideful upper body movement that [Name] wasn't sure how to describe.

"Yes. Razor is trusted. Razor trusts Guide. We… friends?"

[Name] smiled. "Of course we're friends if you want to be."

Razor nodded, apparently satisfied with the development, as he adjusted something the pot that [Name] couldn't quite see.

It was then that [Name] took his opportunity to ask some questions.

"How did you know where I was, Razor?"

"Teyvat told pack, pack told me. Teyvat told all that listen." His response was mildly concerning but they supposed made sense, the system glitch or whatever that brought them here was likely felt by those in the world.

"What did Teyvat say?" They asked him slowly and winced at his reply.

"Said Teyvat's owner here. Said Guide need be safe."

Need be safe? [Name] thought to themselves. I'm always safe, when I'm actually faced with danger myself… my team can handle that.

"So Razor made Guide safe. Hilichurls are danger so stay with Razor."

Razor's voice shook them out of their thoughts but also caused some worry, the last thing they'd want now is to cause harm to any members of their team, especially on their behalf, so they shook their head.

"I hate to say it but I can't constantly stay with you. You can visit me while I'm here but I really want to meet new people and staying in Wolvendom won't let me do that."

Razor seemed to take a minute to process that before speaking again "Razor will be with Guide. Guide need not be alone."

[Name] chuckled at that. "You can't go with me everywhere but I'd love to travel with you." 

He grinned a toothy grin and then redirected his gaze to the cooking pot. "Food almost done, then Guide eat."

They sighed in resignation and nodded. "Yes. I'll eat. I swear though, y'all have some plan on feeding me good food so much that I physically cannot eat anything else."

Razor didn't seem to be listening, instead going through the work of putting out the fire he was using to cook.

[Name] was half convinced people who cooked outdoors and made good food were the gods, not them, but they ignored the amusing passing thought and only watched in silence.

They took the time with Razor distracted to think through their game plan for the day.

'One, I need to eat with Razor and get him relaxed enough that I can either bring him into Mondstadt or have him leave me be. Two, I need to return to Mondstadt and speak with Jean and Aether about how I'll return to Earth. Three… See about completing the well this won't be awkward quest.'

Speaking of the well this won't be awkward quest, [Name] was pulled from their thoughts to Razor offering them the now cooled down cooking pot.

"Wait, were you not gonna eat?"

Razor shook his head "Razor will not eat, food for Guide."

[Name] groaned in annoyance and shoved the pot back at him. "Eat your fair share and then I'll eat, you need food too. You're a growing teenager for gods sake!"

Razor flinched back before slowly pulling the meal into his hands. "Thank you.." he told them, sounding a bit hesitant.

[Name] waved him off and instead focused on the sounds of the forest, with the sun coming up over the trees, the birds began their songs while other animals either started or ended their day depending on their habits.

It was beautiful to listen to, each chirp chiming together and relaxing them, they were almost certain they could understand the meanings of the sounds, as if they were in a crowd and making out conversations.

"Did you hear what the Windrise squirrels said?" 

"The Player! Teyvat calls for you!"

" Aww, I understand Teyvat cares but why can't we keep them?"

"Stupid two-legs, always stinking up the air with smoke."

"I'm not explaining to Bluestar what I'm doing."

"Wolf Child meets The Guide… How could you not enjoy the sight?"

Each conversation felt real, instead of imagining it, they felt as though they were truly understanding the conversations that they always wanted to.

It took a moment for Razor to finish eating but upon looking up, he gave a gentle smile at the sight of their confused expression.

"You hear them?" He asked, slightly amused.

"Hear what?" They questioned in return and glared slightly when he laughed.

"The creatures. The world. It likes you. You hear it?"

Realization dawned on them. They weren't imaging their understanding, they honest to goodness could understand the words of the animals around them.

"Holy shit… Maybe I am a Disney princess after all."

Razor tilted his head and opened his mouth to voice his confusion when a voice rang out from behind them. 

"Your Grace! Why on Teyvat did you run off?!"

[Name] turned to look behind them only to see a very worn out and panicked Aether with an exhausted Paimon floating behind him.

"[Name]… Please… Never run off like that again. I had to ask Teyvat where you were." Paimon whined out her complaints as she reached [Name]'s side.

[Name] couldn't help themselves from giving a full chested laugh. "HAHA! PFFT. It- hahah- its your fault you- pfft- didn't wake up- hehe." Their laughter slowed as they looked him in the eyes and saw just how concerned and frazzled he truly seemed.

Eyes wide without his scarf and his hair an absolute wreck, his clothes were twisted the wrong way and his shoes seemed to be moments from falling off his feet.

They stood slowly and walked over. "Aether… Hey, I'm sorry I worried you but I'm okay now, Razor kept me safe."

What [Name] didn't notice was the self assured grin Razor gave the blond.

Aether straighted his back and grabbed their hand. 

"We should head back to Mondstadt. Now. Acting Grandmaster Jean is ready to meet with you whenever you're ready."

[Name] grinned and turned back to Razor.

"Brilliant. Razor! Why don't you come with us? You don't have to if you don't want and I promise I won't leave you to your own devices!"

Their smile caught both of the boys off guard and the two quickly found themselves agreeing.

Paimon simply snickered before flying towards the path. "Well then, what are we waiting for? A yes? It's not like Teyvat will ever tell it's master no."

[Name] glanced in Paimon's direction as they followed the floating being down the road. "What do you mean by that? You keep referencing Teyvat as a living being."

Paimon chuckled once more and sped up her flying, leaving the trio to attempt to catch up.

Okay so, this was a bit boring but I got it out there so chapter thirteen can some fun scenes.

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Part 13

Now then! Feel free to like, comment, send in an ask or even a request or reblog, or just click away if it makes you feel more comfortable. Just know I love seeing what you guys think of my work and thank you so much for reading!

@chihawari @samuelftm @mizuistrying @karylles-world @isaywhatiwant @multifandomvoyage @sayomiikaye @peacesong02 @chie-san @magica-ren @willburzone @harmonbrooke @sadlonelybagel @rizakari @eccedentesiast-sapphic @well-excuse-me-player @nadsidibakar @yue-calum @irisxiel @detectivexheizou @ello-its-me-ya-boi @nin3s @uh-kay-shuh @campanula-rotundifolia @whispereons

If your name is in bold, I was unable to tag you.

[forbidding-souda]

hello hello!! i just randomly thought of this one while spaced out in class LMAO- could i have kaede, kazuichi and chiaki (separately) meeting someone who has the same talent as them? tysm, stay safe and have a great day!!

Kaede Akamatsu, Kazuichi Souda, and Chiaki Nanami falling for someone who has the same talent as them

I hope you have a good day too lovie

I'm writing this instead of working on my d&d campaign because I'm a procasinator and next session is going to be so mathematical I want to die

currently watching: Gen Z Childhood Trauma Iceberg THE COMPLETE SAGA

-Mod Souda

Kaede Akamatsu

✯ She is a tiny bit competitive. She's not used to people being on her level, or anywhere near it, as she's always blown the roof off. Initially, she doesn't know how to prove herself beyond trying to put emotional passion into her pieces and even writing a bunch of her own. When she first found out you existed, she spent a bunch of hours of her life researching you and watching your videos (you know what's even worse about you? You're hot. It's sick, makes her sick to her stomach, how could you be so perfect?).

✯ Once it came to her trying to pull you, she was so optimistic about it. Originally it was like keep your friends close and your enemies closer until boom, she wanted you to be closer to her than both her friends and her enemies. She knew that the two of you were like no one in the world so she immediately tried to convey her interest through pieces. She would chose romance-based ones. To a Wild Rose for small things like playing at restaurants while you two have a meal together (but isn't it a bit melancholic? She's pining, that song is what it feels like to her). She could play Chopin but that would only end in the two of you giggling together.

She breathed deeply, trying to steady herself. Why is she nervous? She does this sort of stuff all the time! Well, no, that's not true... competitions is not something she does that often. Her body trembled from a combination of anticipation and anxiety. Using her foot, she elongated notes as well as softening them. She played the music in which way the audience feels rather than in whatever way she felt. She needed to win - she needed to find something that can assure the world that even though you are out there, she is not going anywhere. Her confidence was unwavering. She was nervous because you are in the audience. In a more literal sense, you were her competitor. Did she want to impress you, or was she scared of losing to you? She let the melody stain the piano keys like rain to asphalt. She then put you, note by note, into the front of her mind until she discovered that it was your smile she was imagining - and it wasn't you smiling to the audience, but you smiling to her.

✯ Whose sheet music is whose? You guys don't know, you've only just now started to sign the top corner of them so you could keep track.

✯ She's used to being the one that soothes everybody but now gosh it's amazing to know that there's somebody out there who's capable of soothing her back.

✯ Throughout the day, she will grab your hand and dance with you and make you spin as if there is music playing.

.

Kazuichi Souda

✯ Mans awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. His self-confidence is going haywire at the notice of you. There's no way he can even consider himself one-of-a-kind anymore but when he actually meets you, he tries to play it off as if he is unbothered which is mainly because with all the stories he's heard about you, he didn't expect you to be as attractive as you are. That conversation had a lot of "uh, yeah"'s. After meeting you, he's going to be kicking his feet doodling in his diary about you.

Driving home, he was grumbling under his breath. He's driving a stupid car that works stupidly better than it did when he was stupidly working on it. He considers himself skilled at what he does but of course, he has his flaws. You always manage to size him up around his flaws (but he can do the same to you, so it's fair game, he's still sensitive though). Around him the city is dying down as the sun starts to drop, people shuffling into karaoke bars and ice cream places makes him hum. He thinks, we should do that together. His cheeks go pink. It still surprises him how much the little things remind him of you. After closing the front door he kicks off his shoes and shuffles out of his jacket to the sound of you filling the air with your joyous exclamation of his name [he can almost hear the xoxo in your voice].

✯ The thing that makes him want to scream and cry the most is how when somebody tosses a mechanical instrument at him most of the time he won't notice and just gets hit in the head... but when he tosses one at you you just catch it! How dare you - he can't stand it.

✯ He will be on the verge of making out with you whenever you come out from under a car and you got the mucky hands and the sweat around your body.

✯ He can just talk... naturally to you about stuff and not worry about you not knowing what he's talking about.

.

Chiaki Nanami

✯ You have the same interest as her? That's awesome. She is so excited to have somebody to talk to (especially about all the niche things she's into). You can impress her by knowing the shit she's talking about, and it's mainly because she's used to keeping a lot of this information in her head so she doesn't infodump on random people (and when she's talking to you, it's not infodumping but instead an two-sided conversation). Hanging out with you means that she can have a calming silence as she games with you by her side.

It is now that Chiaki takes her butt over to your house. She walked the way with her nose in her game, almost missing the train and then her stop too. The adventure gave her four wins (technically five if you count seeing you). You are surprised when she knocks and you are more surprised when she speaks before you can even say anything. "I didn't tell you that I was coming, huh?..." She trails off, her voice dreamy as she continues to game even on your doorstep. It makes you wonder why you even paused your game to answer the door when you could have just brought it with you. You laugh an airy laugh, "That's alright. I'm happy to see you." She smiles before slipping by you into your house. You look her up and down affectionately before welcoming her in. You have of course had her just walk in before, and you've also experienced her just being in your living room playing your games. She's so comfortable around you that she doesn't put much thought into social awareness (and she knows you'll continue liking her no matter how many times she walks through your front door while you're busy gaming upstairs).

✯ Ahh the two of you can have matching consoles, and since the two of you are so popular, the consoles will literally be made for you both.

✯ Omg and in game couples being based on you two. They'd have kissing animations

✯ She doesn't feel threatened by your presence at all - she is just so grateful you exist. She feels hearddddd like no tomorrow.

[give-soup-please]

Hi. Maybe the reader is trying to get into hypnosis for serious anxiety and nothing has worked with normal therapists and Narry steps in?

*gives soup* You mean the world to us. 😭🍲

(ah, anon, thank you for your kind words.)

Narrator and a reader who is trying to use hypnosis for anxiety (platonic or romantic)

You’re constantly on the edge. Your brain is very mean. You’ve tried everything you can think of, and a few things you wouldn’t think of as well. You turn to hypnosis as a last ditch attempt to feel better.

The problem is, who can you trust to take care of you while you’re under? Suppose someone tries to implant false memories while you’re in that altered state, or hurts you in some other way? Your anxiety curls around you, making it harder to ask for help. Hypnosis therapists haven’t worked in the past because you couldn’t trust them enough to let all your shields down.

The narrator knows you’ve got anxious tendencies. Anyone can see it, but his heart is especially soft towards you. You’re his dear listener, you’re who keeps him tethered to this world. Of course he wants to help.

You express yourself, your desires, your fears, and he takes up the challenge. “Well now, you’ve come to the right person. I daresay my voice is perfect for the job. What do you say?”

You aren’t sure about this. You aren’t sure about anything. But… In all the time you’ve known him in this reality, he’s never hurt you. If someone else had claimed that the narrator was going to damage you, you’d have laughed at them. What the hell, why not give it a go?

The narrator is pleasantly surprised you’ve decided to take him up on his offer. He’s actually excited, believe it or not. You trust him enough to give it a try, despite your fear. That's huge. If you were his protagonist instead of his friend, he’d call it a major cornerstone of character development. But this is more than that, he’s also emotionally attached to you.

What an honor it is to sit with you and help you work through this. What an honor it is to be allowed so close into your mind. You trust him- not completely, but enough. He’s not going to mess this up. He knows that belief in another is notoriously fragile for humans. 

He tells you none of this, instead saying, “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses and are allowing an expert to step in. I’m clearly the correct choice. There’s no possible way you’ll be disappointed in my efforts.” He sincerely hopes that’s the case.

You sit back on the couch, and close your eyes. The narrator chooses a register that’s deep and soothing. The first thing he does is guide you through a meditation in order to get some of the bigger pieces of fear wrangled. 

“I will be your narrative guide into tranquility. Relax, let my voice coast over you, and let your mind go empty.”

After you’re a bit more settled, he gets into the bulk of hypnosis. He begins to carve out the difference between your symptoms and your body.

“You are safe. Even when you are having an anxiety attack, when you shake or sweat, you are safe.”

“You are not in danger when your anxiety is high. Your brain is lying to you.”

You’re in some sort of half submerged state, being gently pulled along by his voice. It’s pleasant. You’re calm. He had talent, you had to admit.

It takes several months, but you start noticing the effects. When you have a panic attack, some part of your brain remains clear and focused, and you can pull yourself back down much more quickly than you used to. And on days when the narrator is there, he’s trained you to respond to his voice, even in the midst of your fear. There’s a particular range he hits that’s like a cold compress on a fevered forehead.

“Reader- Reader. Listen to me. You are safe. I am with you. This will pass.” He will repeat that and similar things over and over and you’re settled again. It gets a little quicker each time, and you’re grateful.

You break down crying after another successfully fought off attack. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” You repeat again and again, brain too exhausted to think of something more in depth.

He hushes you. “Shh, shh. Rest. You can boost my ego later.” You smile as the tears continue to roll down your cheeks. He grabs a blanket and tucks you in, then hands you a tissue box.

He can’t tell you how deeply he cares for you, how much you mean to him- but he can show you through his actions. He hopes you pick up on the unspoken theme, the subtext. It’s what he’s counting on.  

[miyuwuki]

Can I request Kise showing his real side to his s/o, you know the one he has when playing basketball the darker character, and his s/o loves him regardless? Tsym!

hello love! this lovely meant akashi instead of kise! thank you so much for this request, this is a very wholesome idea

warnings: slight angst but happy ending!

akashi seijuro x reader

i will always love you

you were so confused. akashi hadn’t picked you up in the morning, or steal you from your friends so you can have lunch with him, or let alone speak to you. in fact, he was completely avoiding you today, and even going the extra lengths of putting a hand up when you tried to approach him. you were sure you didn’t do anything wrong as you spent the entire day deciphering your actions and words, and what could have possibly made him upset; just yesterday, the both of you had a study date and dinner together, and it ended off on a good note. what’s with him today? we had a good time last night.. you thought, grumbling under your breath. the anxiety you felt was slowly getting replaced with anger, and soon enough, you felt like punching that prince of a boyfriend of yours.

and so you made a plan; a plan that after school, you’d walk into the student council office and give him a piece of your damn mind. maybe you would have let it slide if there was at least an explanation for his behaviour, but there wasn’t, and you weren’t going to let his ignorance win- especially when it was towards you.

the bell soon rang for dismissal, and eventually rakuzan was empty. you packed your things and stomped as quickly as you can to the student council office. through the door you saw your boyfriend working on a pile of paperwork. your eyebrows furrowed and marched into the office.

“seijuro! we need to talk!” you dropped your bags and crossed your arms across your chest, waiting for a response.

“i’m busy.” akashi replied, not even looking up from the papers he was signing. a vein popped in the corner of your head, impatient from all the bullshit he was giving you today. you scoffed, “i don’t care! you’ve been avoiding me the whole day! you didn’t tell me why; you left me hanging in the morning, then at lunch, and literally every time i tried to approach you! what’s gotten into you? did i say something wrong to you yesterday? i tried to figure out if i did, but i don’t really recall anything of that sort. at least explain yourself-”

“you should leave me, y/n.”

you stopped talking and your arms fell to your sides. leave him? as in break up with him? 

“s-seijuro, i just asked for an explanation-”

your words were interrupted by him walking up to you. you didn’t know what you were feeling; if it was fear, or if it was anger. you couldn’t tell, and all you knew was that it felt like there was a giant pit in your gut.

“sei?” 

that’s when you saw it; the way his eyes glowed. how one was red, and the other was a bright glowing orange.

“leave, y/n. i’m not good for you.” akashi said, looking straight into your eyes. you clenched your jaw, taking a breath in, “what are you talking about sei? i have one problem and you want me to leave? we can sort this out if you just explain why. why are you being like this?” you said with confidence as you fold your arms across your chest once more.

“did i stutter, y/n? i said i’m not good enough for you. you need to be with someone who will provide you care with pure selflessness and content. this is something i cannot give you. my orders remain absolute, so leave me.” he clamoured, feeling an ache in his chest.

tears started to form in the ducts of your eyes, and you clenched your fists in your chest. your head was clouded, and your body was growing weak. you weren’t going to back down like this; you didn’t want to give up. “who are you to tell me of who and what makes me happy, sei?” you mumbled, wiping your tears. you lifted your head up and looked straight into his heterochromatic eyes, “who are you to decide that for me, asshole! i love you, and only you, can’t you see that?” you raised your voice a little higher, bewildering akashi a bit.

“but i’m right, and this is just how it is-”

“to hell if you’re right! when i got into this relationship, i knew about your other personality already, but i still wanted to deal with it because that’s just how much i fucking love you!” you sniffled and cried, not even attempting to stop yourself, “you could commit crime or accidentally miss your shot, i don’t care! you’re always going to be the same seijuro i fell in love with. nothing and no one will ever change that.” you didn’t know what to do after that, so you just wailed; the student council office was filled with the sounds of your cries and sobs. after all, you didn’t expect him to react the way he did today. you didn’t expect him to tell you to leave, or hear the words “i’m not good enough for you” coming out from his mouth. you just wanted to be with him. all you wanted was him.

but something you didn’t expect even more were akashi’s tears slowly flowing from his eyes; not too much, but not too little that it was unnoticeable. he slowly walked closer to you and wrapped his arms around your torso, resting his face in your shoulder. 

“seijuro...” you wrapped your arms around his neck, breathing in that masculine scent you loved.

“do you mean that, y/n?” he whispered, “do you love me that much? even with...”

you sighed, “of course i do, sei. i will always love every single part of you.” you felt his grip tighten on you, feeling the sighs against the crook of your neck. you rubbed his back in a circular motion, trying to comfort your boyfriend. “now sei, why were like that today? can you tell me why? please?”

he let go of your embrace and looked into your eyes once more, the glowing eye reflecting off the glassy surface of your own. you held akashi’s cheek in your hand, and he immediately leaned into your touch. “i didn’t know what i’d do if you ever saw this side of me. to be honest, i was quite petrified if you were to leave because of it; i kept overthinking it so i thought making you leave would make it hurt less. i was wrong.”

you took your hand off of akashi’s check and grabbed both of his hands, bringing the up. “sei, have a little more trust in me. i meant it when i said i will always love every part of you. this akashi, the other one, and every single one after that.” you gave a soft peck to each of his hands, “i’m not going anywhere, just know that. you’re stuck with me forever.”

a minuscule smile formed on his face as he leaned in closer and planted a soft kiss on your lips. you felt the mixed breaths against your mouth, both of you inhaling it. he grabbed your waist once more to give you a much deeper kiss, both your lips dancing in sync, as if it had a mind of its own. he pulled apart from you and placed another kiss on top of your head.

“i love you, y/n. i’m so sorry for the way i treated you today. i promise i will make it up to you, love. thank you for accepting me always.”

“i love you too, seijuro. next time, don’t go neglecting me, and i don’t care if you think if you’re right or whatever. we always talk about it, okay? besides, there’s no one else i want but you, dork.”

“yes, my love.”

aaaa i hope this was good enough for you! mmmm although akashi is literally perfect, i felt like he would get insecure about his other personality— so that’s how i wrote it! please give me some feedback if you’d like. once again thank you <3

[animatedrapture]

"VORFREUDE."

Summary: Sakusa thinks of you as his vorfreude, his intense anticipation from imagining future pleasures. He swears it's not mere delusions.

Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x F!Reader / slight Komori Motoya x Reader

Word count: 4.5k

Genre & Content Warnings: Slight angst. NSFW. Dark content. Yandere behavior. Porn with Plot. Incel/Bully!Sakusa. Virgin!Reader. Abuse. Non-con. Blackmail. Coercion. Misogyny. Slut-shaming. Slight manipulation and mindbreak. Fingering. Corruption. Defloration. Degradation. Vaginal penetration. Creampie.

Notes: Thank you soooo much to the lovely anon who commissioned this! Took a lot longer than it should've cause academics kept cutting in & joint with my anxiety. But yeah, thank you so much :') Thank you Faiwy for the final beta !! <3

If you're thinking about commissioning me, please refer to this post.

You’re a constant, Sakusa thinks.

For as long as he can remember, you’ve been following him and Komori like a lost puppy—whenever they were, you were sure to be there. He can’t think far back enough to remember when it started, but you were insignia of constancy, that was all Sakusa knew.

He listens intently while you talk to Komori from beside him, voice low and stumbling over your words every so often—he knows you're going out of your way to avoid saying something he could use to pull you apart with, piece by piece like a frail little toy.

"How did the test from yesterday go?" Komori questions you, right as your trio made it to the cafeteria.

Your easy-going smile falters at the mention of it. Sakusa already knows the answer. He shares that class with you, after all. He had the front row seat to see your face flushed with humiliation and how rigid your body grew when the professor told you Sakusa would be tutoring you.

Reminding him that out of everything about you, the way you wore your heart on your sleeve is something that insistently rubbed him the wrong way.

First, because he starts thinking about how easy you make it for people to take advantage of you; it makes his blood boil. Then, he starts thinking about every reaction he could get out of you, like how you'd look from beneath him as he used your body the way you wanted him to.

Because you do, don't you? Why else would you go out of your way to adjust to his habits? To carry around your personal sanitizer and wipes, always making sure the space you were in with them was clean.

Nothing else could explain how you strung along with them like loose thread.

It tugs at the heart beneath his ribcage—but whenever he sees you give all your attention to Komori, the betrayal sinks in, and he's reminded what kind of a woman you are.

A whore.

As you laughed nervously, taking a seat across from them, Sakusa wonders if you're having fun, wonders if for a moment you're riddled with guilt as you flirt with his cousin and him at the same time, in the same breath.

"N-no, it didn't turn out very well," you admit in between stutters, embarrassment creeping back in.

Komori frowns empathetically, "I could help you, you know—"

The sparkle in your eyes is quick to appear. God, you're so cunning. It makes Sakusa consider that maybe you failed the test on purpose, thinking this would happen—but that would be giving you more credit than due. You're just a dumb little girl.

"I'm already tutoring them," Sakusa interrupts, and he's unsure whether to be delighted or angered at the way your face falls sullen.

"O-oh right, but—but I'd love to get your help, Motoya-kun—"

The scoff Sakusa lets out is loud, loud enough to make you wince. "You're dumb enough as it is, you don't need distractions," his words come slicing like knife. You sink in your seat.

Komori laughs awkwardly, giving you a smile—sheepish and apologetic—he's so kind, he's always so kind.

Sometimes you wonder how they're actually cousins; until you're reminded that Sakusa hadn't always been this mean to you. He had always been cautious, but he wasn't ever mean like he was out to get you at every ragged edge.

Somehow, though, the closer you got to him—past his defenses and indifference towards you—the meaner he's gotten.

You were like a moth to a flame, not in the sense that you were attracted to its light, but more so like being punished with burn after burn the closer you got.

But your feelings for Komori begged you at every instance to swallow the humiliation down, at each of Sakusa’s degrading remarks.

You take out your packed bento, wiping at the table with wipes before placing it down, the cousins moving to do the same out of adapted habit, until you notice Komori digging in his bag, eyebrows furrowed like he's confused.

"Motoya-kun? What's wrong?"

He turns to you, scratching at the back of his head, "I think I forgot my sanitizer."

You're quick on your hands, offering him yours without missing a beat and Sakusa's reminded of why he even likes you at all.

You were persistent with being able to stick around them. He thought that was remarkable. That you'd never been freaked out by his habits, you respected his space—something he couldn't say with the people who pushed and disregarded his boundaries. That instead of forcing him to adjust to you, you went out of your way for him to be comfortable with you around.

And he's flattered, really. He doesn't have to wonder if he had a chance with you because surely, he does.

Since he's so nice—nicer than a whore like you deserves, he'll let you know your feelings are reciprocated, then he'll fuck you, because surely, that's what you want… Right?

Then maybe, when you're finally his girlfriend, he can start training you to stop being such a flirty slut, that you belong only to him and that you’re nothing but his property.

But for now, he can settle with the warmth in his chest as he notices all the ways you try to get his attention.

Being with Sakusa is hard, even with Komori around, it was nerve wracking. Conversations with him weren't any easier, if anything, they were more dreadful.

When you ask Sakusa about tutoring you, you do it over lunch just so you avoid having to walk up to him alone. His answer is curt when he tells you to come over tomorrow, and that he’ll pick you up from your place; because you can try all you want to outsmart him, but he’d always catch on.

Because Sakusa was smart, and you were just you.

After lunch, you feel nothing but the dread bubbling in the pit of your stomach—churning and thrashing—because no matter how hard you try to push it down, the fact is that you’re actually scared of him.

Scared of the nitpicking he'll scrutinize you with—the way you sat, the way you looked at him, the way you trembled in his presence alone. You start thinking of what to wear, because even something as little as that can put him off—always commenting about how short your skirt is, how you're showing too much skin, how you're probably doing it on purpose.

But it's nothing you're not used to anymore.

So you tug on your fear, push it into a corner, and you tell yourself that Sakusa is mean, and condescending, and harsh, but he wouldn’t hurt you. You pick yourself up from the corner of your mind, and you repeat in your head like a mantra. Sakusa wouldn’t hurt you.

The ring of the bell breaks you out of your reverie. It reminds you that the day has almost ended, and that it felt like a blink faster than it should’ve been. Still, you pull on your things, gathering them to leave the classroom slowly emptying out.

You make a small sound of surprise when your eyes dart over to the door, where Komori stood, an anxious smile on his lips. He looks like he's been waiting for you, making your heart hammer against your chest like it wants to leap out.

Face-flushed and giddy, you walk towards him.

“Hey, Motoya-kun. What’s up?” You smile, all sweet and bright-eyed. From the pit of Komori’s stomach, something flutters. You only ever look like this when your eyes are on him; he thinks he wants to keep it to himself.

He brings a hand up to his hair, lightly scratching at the back of his head with a nervous smile, and it’s awkward in an adorable sort of way. He’s walking beside you along the corridor, it’s slow and the bit of silence between you is calm.

“Ah, well…” He starts, gaze flickering to the floor and back to you indecisively, “I was wondering if I could ask you to the newly opened café tomorrow. A-after you study with Sakusa-kun, of course,” He stutters a bit, offering you a boyish grin.

It so nearly pulls a squeak out of you, surprised in the most love struck sort of way. Your heart beats out of your chest unlike the way Sakusa makes you feel.

Your heart hammers out of fear of him—but with Komori, it's nothing but pleasant and warm and intoxicating.

Your smile is instantaneous; it comforts Komori as your lips part.

"I'd love to," you answer him softly, though an octave higher.

Sakusa finds you both like this, shyly smiling at each other like lovesick doves. There's nothing pure about you, you shouldn't be smiling that way. Especially not at the face of his cousin.

"Oi," he calls out, even through the face mask, his annoyance seeps into your skin and makes you feel small.

The blood that had rushed to your cheeks dries you pale at the glare he gives you.

"Coach is looking for you, Komori," he follows, yet never taking his eyes off of you.

"Right. I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N!"

Sakusa takes another step closer to you the moment Komori's out of sight. Your grip on your bag tightening, instinctively taking a step backwards.

The action alone makes him practically sneer with you cowering in response.

"Disgusting," he mutters, brimming with venom. "There's nothing I hate more than girls who throw themselves at any guy they see."

Maybe it's the sheer malice in his voice, or the way your eyes catch how his hand moves up—but you flinch, like expecting a hit to come across your cheek.

The pain never comes and when your eyelids flutter open, you're met with hard eyes the color of obsidian yet gleaming with a newfound resolve despite his furrowed eyebrows that suggested hitting you was far from the origin of his intentions.

Without a word, Sakusa walks away from you with his hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket.

You let your body slump against the wall. His eyes burn in the back of your head, almost like they’re warning you.

Right before you head to bed, your phone chimes once, then twice and it’s bittersweet. One from Komori, telling you he’s excited to see you tomorrow, and one from Sakusa—not beating around the bush, it says nothing but ‘9 AM.’

It’s firm and unyielding. Even as your head hits the pillow, forcing your eyes shut, sleep doesn’t come easy—not even at the thought of seeing Komori on a date.

It’s not the sunlight peeking in between your curtains that wake you, nor the sound of birds chirping outside your window. Instead, it’s the ache in your body acting like a bad omen. Nevertheless, you drag your body out of bed.

Your stomach churns but you get ready for the day.

You think the next hour couldn’t come any quicker, because you’re fidgeting on the balls of your feet and somehow, there’s goosebumps rising against your bare skin.

Your phone blinks back at you with a minute before nine o’clock but you already hear the knock on your door. Your breathing halts even as you move hurriedly to open it—and even when the air hits you as you find Sakusa on your doorstep.

You feel his eyes wander, from the very top of your head, down to your feet, and he mutters, “You look nice today.”

The blush that creeps on your cheeks is only natural. Compliments in any form that came from Sakusa were hard to come by—only because they were compliments in the most genuine, honest of ways.

Sakusa is mean, and if you were more honest with yourself, he’s a bully. But Sakusa, mean or not, is still Komori’s cousin; so you give him a smile, palms going clammy.

“Thank you, Sakusa-kun…” You trail off, hesitating on your next words, “You look nice today, too.”

And he does. The dark color of his clothes complimented his pale skin and dark, curly hair, and despite being covered by the mask, his pristine beauty seems to gleam through. Even seemingly unfazed, his gaze on you softens by a fraction.

As abrupt as it appeared, he’s already turning away, “Hurry up,” he quips, but his voice is softer because you look nice today were words that confessed his truest feelings—the ones that reminded him he’s so in love with you and that you’re the cause of warmth in chest.

Even when you strut around trying to get Komori to like you, Sakusa doesn’t attempt to deny the feelings he harbored, because you look nice today, too should mean something, shouldn’t it?

You know you’re dressed up for your date with Komori, but Sakusa doesn’t know that; so in that moment, he appreciates you. For once, there isn't one insult that lingers in his tongue or even in his head as he walks slowly.

Sakusa is nice today, you note as he keys the lock to his place. He had awkwardly placed his hand on the small of your back on the short walk it took from your place to his, guiding you along the sidewalk.

You've only been to his place once or twice, both times were with Komori, so you weren't familiar with the directions. The walk was silent, and in his silence, you found a reason to relax—just enough to make you think that this might go well.

Despite all awkwardness, Sakusa is forward. Seeing you sat on his couch so comfortably, the skirt of your dress riding up slightly, does nothing to hold back his urge to keep his hands on you.

It's a good thing he doesn't have to keep his hands to himself now, right? Since you like him so much, you'd let him fuck you now… Right?

Sakusa's movements are sly, that's why you don't question how he walks closer towards you, sitting so, so close to you—that's why you choke on the lump in your throat when his hand shoots out to grab you by the wrist, pulls you in, then presses his lips on yours.

The second that passes is only because you couldn't wrap your head around Sakusa—lips pressed against yours and body so close.

But the next second, you're pushing him off roughly enough to stop him and he's looking at you confused.

"Sakusa-kun, I think you misunderstood—I like, I like Motoya-kun, I didn't mean to—this is—" you're trampling over your words, looking at him with panicked eyes.

Sakusa mutes out the sound of your voice, all he can hear is the beating in his chest and the ache of it—the sound of his heart dropping to his stomach. He should’ve known.

All the softness in his eyes are gone. His hand, still wrapped around your wrist, gripping tighter and tighter; your heart skipping obnoxiously against your chest. Something about the way he's looking at you now petrifies you.

His silence feels deadlier than his destructive words, deadlier when you wince at his grip, whimpering, "Sakusa, you're hurting me—please," and still, he doesn't let up.

Not when he's roughly tugging you from the couch, taking your arm with a bruising grip, then he's hauling you somewhere. You thrash, panicked pleas calling out to him and apologies he doesn't deserve but you offer him anyway. All your protests are rewarded when he halts, turning to you without a hint of remorse, pushing you to the floor—his foot comes to your side, kicking you with a force that knocks the breath out of your lungs.

Bile is rising up your throat, coughing and arms shooting to your stomach to protect yourself. Scared feels too small of a word to describe the feeling that looms over you as he takes your arm again, dragging your curled up body.

Sakusa shoves you inside a room, even as you flail around and beg for help, his face remains impassive; whatever force you’re putting in the way you try to break free from his hold is futile. Of course he’s stronger. Of course, but you can’t possibly accept this, can you?

You made Sakusa yearn—disgustingly grapple on his feelings so needlessly, and nothing, he thinks, could be more unforgivable.

So he secures you on the bed, bound and within his claws, for you to take responsibility for the yearning you've planted inside of him.

"S-Sakusa, please," your begging sounds like a whimper. "I-I won't tell anyone! N-not even Motoya-ku—!"

You hear ringing in your ears before feeling the sting across your cheek. From inside your mouth, you can taste metal.

"You won't tell anyone either way," he mutters apathetically, like the idea of you telling anyone isn't a threat, "No one would believe you…"

He pauses, gaze on you hardening for a second, "You don't want Komori finding out you only got close to him because you wanted me, right?"

The sound of disbelief that escapes you is small, even the wide-eyed betrayal that flashes in your eyes does nothing to make him even pity you.

"You–I, I didn't—"

At your stuttering, Sakusa clicks his tongue, "You're such a dumb girl you don't even know what you want."

"That's not true, Sakusa—"

He glares down on you. The bed dips, bracketing your body between his knees, hovering over you, then leaning forward. His hands move slowly as if caressing you before grabbing your hair with a stinging tug.

The fear pooling your eyes only makes him even angrier.

"I hate that face," he grits out, "Always looking at me all scared, then you look at Komori like a shy innocent bitch, it pisses me off."

Pretty as you are, he lands another hit across your cheek—hard enough that you can feel a cut on your cheek trickling down with blood, the side of your ear going deaf. You’re not sure anymore if it was a slap or a punch—all that you know is that it hurts. Your vision is blurred when you open your eyes, but even through them, the insanely expressionless eyes of Sakusa are clear.

It dawns on Sakusa that you wouldn’t date him. Of course you wouldn’t. Sluts like you go for guys like Komori—so he’d just have to take you by force, make you date him by force, make you love him by force.

Besides, you look prettier forced, he observes. Your face tear-stained and bloody makes his cock throb in his pants. With your body weak underneath him, so helpless that it disgusts him and fuels him with desire all at once.

Something about your weakness, the innocence that spills from you contradicting his firm idea that you’re a dirty whore makes him livid. He pictures you painted with bruises and cuts, the image sending a shiver down his spine. Clenched fists pull back, only to land on your sides, on the same places he kicked you.

What makes you feel sick at the stomach more than the abuse he inflicts on you is the way Sakusa’s movements lack hesitation as his hands travel to your bare thighs.

"W-what are you doing?”

It's disgusting. Women like you are disgusting. You lead him on just so you can take advantage of his feelings like this—that even if he knew better, he'd still soften up for you.

It's you who lured him into this, he almost sneers at the thought. You were truly vile, and yet he loves you all the same—wants you all to himself all the same.

"Omi?' You breathe, frightened. The nickname falls affectionately, though, putting all your hope into it, wishing it would tug on his heart enough for him to let you go.

“Let’s talk about this, Omi? Please?” You cry, searching for his eyes—the ones trained on your thighs as he glides his hands against them, your dress bunched up to your hips revealing your baby pink panties. Your sobs only grow louder as he goes further up, going on as if he’s in a trance where he can’t hear you groveling at him to stop.

Strong, calloused hands stop at the band of your panties, fingers hooking, and only then does he look back up at you. Dark eyes drown you as he tugs them down torturously slow, exposing you to him in your most vulnerable state.

The same second you attempt to force your legs shut, comes a biting pain on the inside of your thighs, instantly blooming his handprint at the force. Your mouth opens to wail at the pain, but it’s the same wail that Sakusa swallows as he brings his lips to yours with a kiss so treacherously passionate.

Sakusa pulls away quickly though, eyeing your bare cunt, he brings his fingers to your slit, experimentally rubbing up and down and your response is immediate, somehow. Your slick gathers on his fingers, body squirming from beneath him.

“K-Kiyoomi, it feels weird—stop, please,” yet your hips buck into his fingers as he prods at your tight hole, “Don’t—Not there—N-no one has touched—”

He lifts an eyebrow, “You’re a virgin?” His question sounding more of a comment, because the hesitant nod you give him is almost needless when you hiss at the intrusion of his digit pushing inside of you; your walls clamping down on it, body tensing, he brings a thumb to your clit, circling with enough pressure to make it feel good.

And it’s wrong. So wrong, but it feels good because you’re moaning against your will, whimpering at the curl of his finger and at the additional finger he’s slowly sinking into you.

The stretch is uncomfortable and foreign. Nothing is in Sakusa’s mind but at the thought of you absolutely untouched, absolutely all for him to ruin. Your body instinctively leaning to his, submitting to his ministrations—fingers scissoring and pushing in and out of your pussy, the sound of your slick echoing in your ears as if to taunt you, but your legs are trembling, your gasps are broken and there’s a pressure in your pelvis about to snap.

“You’re so filthy,” he mutters, but he looks at you like you’re the farthest thing from filthy, and his comment is exactly what makes you break, eyes rolling to the back of your skull and cunt creaming around his fingers pathetically.

You feel so dirty, especially at the sound of your slick as he pulls his fingers out and shoves them inside your mouth—the taste of you tainting your tongue. Shaking your head profusely, you beg him with your eyes, “No more—please, I don’t want this.” you weep, muffled.

“Suck,” he commands, but your defiance is clear before you even shake your head, so he pushes his fingers down further, choking you until you gag and find it hard to breathe.

“Suck,” he repeats, and you relent.

Watching you suck messily on his fingers, drool and tears disheveling you, dried blood sticking to your skin, he frees his twitching cock out of its constraints.

Though hazy, your eyes catch it, the thickness of his cock—hard and flushed at the tip—your hands tugging at your restraints feebly making you panic and choke on his fingers, nearly biting down on them.

He’s quick to pull them out, glaring down at you with dark eyes, jaw ticking as his hands curl into fists; knowing what’s to come doesn’t prepare you any more at the excruciating pain of his abuse, even more so at his length pressing against your wet folds—cockhead nudging your puffy clit and making your cunt drool on him.

Both hands dig into the flesh of your thighs, pressing them to your chest. The pain on your face numbs at the sensation of him prodding on your entrance, ripping you apart and increasing the pain—your head throbs as he stretches your cunt with his fat cock, barely giving you time to adjust as he starts to move slowly despite your tense walls barely allowing him.

He curses as he ruts into you, bathing in your cries and moans, violating and invading the entirety of you. The pleasure of feeling you and having you just like this seeps into his bones, turning his languid thrusts more desperate.

“You make desperation look so pretty,” he groans, “You’re making such a mess, you like being forced like this?”

He insults you, but you’re everything he always wanted and more—the taste of your skin as he sucks marks onto your neck as if you were his to own, the clenching and humiliating sound of your cunt squelching as he pounds into you and grunts against your skin. His cock throbs inside you and drags along your velvety walls deliciously; all you can think is that you hate this.

Pressure, pain, the drowning pleasure of Sakusa all over you and inside you don’t allow you to retreat to the back of your head and forget. Not with the burning euphoria building up in your stomach or the moan that slips from your lips as Sakusa brings one of your legs down, bringing his hand to your breasts and thumb swiping around your sensitive nipples.

“O-Omi, please,” you sob, weak and submissive—just how you should be. Your nails dig into your palms, arms aching from your restraints. “I-I’m gonna—I think I—”

“Y-you really are a whore,” he spits, voice strained yet patronizing, still. “Do it, then. Cum on my cock.”

His hand moves in between your thighs, fingers pressing and rubbing circles on your clit as you cry out, tight walls clamping down on him and stuttering his already sloppy thrusts, your arousal running down his length and down to his heavy balls slapping against your ass.

Your moans come out as squeals of his name, your back arching and breath catching in your throat, vision going white as he continues to fuck into you.

His breathing is ragged, moving to bury his face into the crook of your neck in an odd show of affection, your swollen cunt pulsating around his cock as he suddenly stills, his low groan vibrating against your skin as he empties inside you.

You want to cry—but nothing comes out, all you can feel is the bruises on your skin, Sakusa’s cock buried deep inside you and his cum leaking from your abused hole, the stickiness and the sweat.

Maybe Sakusa’s right. Maybe you are disgusting, because as he peels himself from you, thinking it’s all over—Sakusa doesn’t undo the ties keeping you on the bed.

He reaches towards the bedside table, grabbing his phone. The sound of the shutter going off once, twice, over and over with the camera directed at you pulls your soul out of you.

“Omi—?” Your question remains a lump in your throat, but Sakusa is smart. He doesn’t need to hear your question.

“You’re my girlfriend now…” He mutters carelessly, “but I’m sure you don’t want Komori to see how you like to be fucked, right?”

[mionemymind]

Chapter 9: The Truth

Fake Memories

Series Summary: After Y/n is caught cheating on Wanda with Carol, Y/n would do just about anything to get Wanda back into her life. But was it even Y/n’s fault that she cheated? Or was it the new enemy set on revenge?

Chapter Summary: The after effects of the attack on New York have changed everything for the Avengers, Wanda, and Y/n. 

A/n: I have managed to write this all within one day. I’m sorry if there are any mistakes but please let me know your thoughts love :) (Not my GIF)

Warnings: Fighting, Hydra, Blood, Mentions of Death, Anxiety, Curse Words

Word Count: 4.9k

Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 |

Covered in ash, dirt, and dried-up blood, Steve was a walking disaster as he paced through the hospital waiting room. Well, if you would call it a hospital that is. It’s been less than an hour since the Avengers have controlled the fires in New York but the troubling news of Y/n and Wanda brought them to a halt.

They quickly rushed to the “hospital”, which was just an empty leased building before being revamped into a hospital for this emergency. The walls were made up of light green curtains. You couldn’t even separate the blood-curling screams from down the hall to the one next to you.

“Stop pacing Rogers. You’re making my head hurt,” Tony said as he sat next to his suit. He had managed to borrow one of the hospital’s tablets to see if there were any updates that could remotely be done to the tower. So far, no luck had been made to reboot F.R.I.D.A.Y or power up the building in general. “Don’t tell me what to do,” he bit back.

Before Tony could say anything, Natasha lightly elbowed him in the stomach to keep him hushed. Now was not the time to start fighting especially at a time like this. “Are you any closer to powering up the tower?” She asked. If Natasha was nervous, she sure as hell didn’t show it. While the assassin did have a similar beat-up look like Steve, her composure was almost too relaxed. However, if Steve cared to notice, he could quickly see how big of a lie that was but his mind was only focused on the two youngest Avengers.

On the other side of the building lied Wanda and Y/n. The only thing separating those two was the thin green curtain and the team of tired nurses and doctors that surrounded them. And while the two have been closer before, this was the first time in a while that they both slept peacefully by each other. It didn’t matter the circumstances of how they slept, but rather what they dreamt...and it was of each other.

“What do you think we would have been like if we lived normal lives?” It was a late afternoon on a sunny day in spring. Wanda and Y/n laid down in the grass under a tree that shadowed them from the sun. Today was one of their off days and seeing as the weather was nice, the two felt like it was a perfect time to go to the park.

“Well, we would obviously attend school.” Wanda was lying down on her back with a dandelion in her hand as Y/n laid on her side, using her left hand to support her head. “I can honestly see you as being the popular person or maybe even the President of some type of political club.”

“What makes you say that?” The soft breeze that covered them came once again, which blew the pappis away. The small frown on Wanda’s faced made it hard for Y/n to focus but she still responded, “You just have this powerful aura to you, Wanda. When you talk, people listen. But what you do better is how easy it is for us to believe you. That’s something not a lot of leaders can do.”

“You make it sound like I’ll be the next President of the United States,” Wanda replied jokingly. “I wish.” Wanda pushed Y/n back slightly as she laughed but all Y/n did was smile at the action. “But what about me? What do you think I would be like?”

Putting her finger to her chin, Wanda thought for a moment before saying, “Honestly, without your powers, you are probably a film nerd at heart. Maybe just a nerd in general.”

“Hey! Now you’re just being mean.” Wanda rolled her eyes as she threw away the dandelion stem. She turned her head to face Y/n. There was this adoration in her eyes that quickly made Y/n blush. “Who cares. All I know is if anyone decides to mess with you, they’ll obviously have to go through me.”

“Oh, so you’re telling me the President of the political science club is going to come to my rescue?”

“Duh! I’ll probably yell at them or something. If not, I’m not afraid to get nasty.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“How’d you let them get away?” Fury said as he walked into the hospital that Y/n was at. The man was not in his finest hour. First, the mass destruction of New York city was blasting on the news. Reporters and anchors are not looking in favor for the heroes regardless of the actions they’ve taken to try and minimize the damage. Many were angry at the mere fact that this happened at all.

“Someone on their team had quickly teleported them to safety,” Carol stated. The girl has been feeling nothing but guilt for the past hour. Although she did save Wanda and Y/n, the state she had found them in only did worse for her thoughts. “Even if I did try to catch up to them, the lack of response from Wanda and Y/n meant something. I probably couldn’t have faced them alone if I tried.”

Before Fury could have walked any further into the building, Carol grabbed him by the arm, forcing him to look at her. “Her ears were bleeding Nick...I think they did something to her head again.”

Wanda woke up with a slight headache, the dream vaguely on her mind. As she started to grasp her surroundings, she only grew more confused. “Where am I?” She thought. The loud beeping beside her combined with screams and loud thoughts overwhelmed Wanda. Feeling the need to get out, she quickly started to remove the various wires on her as the recent events caught up to her. “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to lay back down,” the nurse asked kindly.

“Where’s Y/n?” Wanda almost lost her balance as she stepped off her bed. She used the nurse in front of her to regain her balance, before walking out of her “room”. “Ma’am, I’m not going to ask again, please lay back down or I will have to get security.”

The threat was the last thing on Wanda’s mind. All she could focus on was finding Y/n. Using her powers, she closed her eyes and tried to sense where Y/n was. Considering the girl was right beside her, it didn’t take long for Wanda to find out.

Quickly walking over to the side of her room, Wanda pushed the curtain to the side but the sight in front of her made everything stop. There was Y/n, battered and bruised. There was drywall dust on her face along with dried-up blood. “Y/n,” Wanda whispered in disbelief. Much to Wanda’s dismay, Y/n didn’t respond. She remained unresponsive on the bed.

Reaching out to try and hold her hand, Wanda was pulled back by the same nurse. “Ma’am, please let the doctors and nurses do their jobs while you go back to your bed.” Wanda shrugged off her hand, her eyes glowing red as she said, “Don’t.”

Wanting to be by Y/n’s side, Wanda tried to walk towards her again but Steve’s voice made her stop. “Wanda.” Turning back around, Wanda first noticed just how beat up Steve was. His helmet was off which made Steve oddly look like a raccoon. If times were different, maybe Wanda would have laughed. Instead, she stormed out of the room, feeling more overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry about her ma’am,” Steve said with a courteous nod.

Wanda sat on the ledge of the roof. The slight breeze of the night was coursing past her as she mindlessly fiddled with her fingers, a nervous habit she developed after her parents’ death. It was during a harsher breeze that Wanda touched her forehead where the slight open injury was at. She had left the floor just moments ago and somehow her feet led her here. Although she knew that she needed someone to look at the injuries she sustained, her mind was focused elsewhere. It was plagued with thoughts about the girl that was still entrapped in a room full of doctors that had no clue how to treat her. Wanda knew it was wrong of her to read their minds, but she hoped that at least one of them at least knew where to start. Panic and anxiety filled the redhead’s body the more she realized that no one knew how to help Y/n. Soon, the room felt as if it was enclosing on her. Before Steve realized she was about to break down, she left to sort out her thoughts and emotions.

Wanda had been so deep in thought that she hadn’t noticed Carol leaning against the entrance of the roof. The blonde was only a couple of feet away from Wanda wearing black sweatpants and a shirt. The girl was wrapping up a mission when she saw the text from Y/n. Carol didn’t know whether the drop in her heart was from the fake feelings Memory Man had created or whether she genuinely cared about the girl’s wellbeing. It didn’t matter though. What mattered was Y/n’s safety.

Carol leaned up against the ledge while surveying the view. They were a foot away from each other but it didn’t take a mind reader to know that both girls were thinking about Y/n. Ironically enough, they each had their separate thoughts about how they failed to protect Y/n. For Wanda, she felt as if she was the sole reason that Y/n got hurt. If she had only conquered her abilities more, Y/n wouldn’t have had to sacrifice herself again just to protect her. Not only that, but Wanda felt beyond frustrated with herself for being so frozen and paralyzed as the enemy hurt Y/n right in front of her eyes. There was nothing holding her back besides herself and that was something that will haunt her for a while. For Carol, she felt that if she were just a bit faster and maybe not a galaxy away, she would have reached them in time to help.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Wanda sidely glanced at Carol. The first thing she noticed was her attire. It didn’t take long for the dots to connect before she realized that it was Y/n’s clothes Carol was wearing. Wanda bit her tongue at the ounce of jealousy and resentment that decided to rise within her. This was no time to start arguments especially with the person that helped Y/n just in the nick of time. So Wanda had opted for a different but just as difficult route. “Thank you.”

Carol heard but decided to remain silent. Clearing her throat, Wanda continued, “I’m not sure what would have happened if you hadn’t found us.” Finally, the two made eye contact as Carol glanced at Wanda. “I’m only here for Y/n,” Carol deadpanned. Wanda choked at her words but still had a serious composure. They both looked back at the city but there was a more tense feeling in the air. Carol hadn’t cared if the words had hurt Wanda. What she cared for was Y/n. But the looming question in the back of her head was always if this was a genuine feeling or if it was forced. However, the way her heart overwhelmingly felt angered at the person beside her, she knew that at this time, the feeling was genuine.

Subconsciously, Wanda felt the emotions that leaked out of the blonde. She didn't need to go in her mind to realize that. It felt like Carol’s guard was down leading her aura to be seen. It had covered the area surrounding the two in such a suffocating manner that Wanda felt like she couldn’t breathe. The two most compelling emotions were the anger she held for her and the love she had for Y/n. As she cracked her knuckles, Carol muttered, “It is quite ridiculous the things Y/n continuously goes through for a team that can barely return the favor.”

“You don’t get to-”

“Now listen here. I don’t quite care much for your team. Frankly, y’all don’t deserve Y/n.” The two faced each other with such intensity that one wrong move could cause a fight with two of the galaxy’s most powerful superheroes. “But if I’m being honest, you don’t deserve Y/n.” Wanda’s fists clenched at Carol’s words. It took everything out of the redhead to not fling Carol out of New York, because how dare she accuse her of such atrocities.

“If I were you, I would stop where you’re at,” Wanda said threateningly. The spiral scarlet glow in her eyes only made Carol chuckle. “You know you’re not the only one with powers.” Carol’s fist glowed with the same intensity as Wanda’s eyes. But the threats were pointless as the two had stopped at the same time.

“You don’t see it but you should feel lucky Wanda.” Cocking her eyebrow, Wanda responded with, “And why is that?” The redhead remained in a defensive stance as she crossed her arms. Carol walked closer to her and placed her hand on Wanda’s shoulder. Wanda was still tense but it slightly faltered when she saw how serious Carol was. “There’s a girl out there that loves you even when her mind and heart tell her otherwise.” And with that, Carol left Wanda to herself.

The burning feeling in his legs shouldn’t have felt familiar but it did. It reminded him of the body that he held through New York’s streets. It reminded him of the blood all over his hands and clothes. It reminded him of that fateful night that he failed.

And as he stormed into the hospital with nobody in his hands, something in the way that the team looked made his blood drain. Before Bucky could ask about Y/n’s whereabouts, Beth had walked in. Seeing her familiar face caused Bucky to be slightly relaxed but still anxious about what she could possibly say.

“I have an update on Y/n’s health.” Carol had walked into the room and her attention immediately landed on Beth. “Tell us, Beth,” Fury said.

“As of right now, she will be fine. The doctors have her hooked up to a solution that is allowing her regeneration abilities to work. But-,” before Beth could finish her update, Tony had stood up and loudly commented, “- Great, now that we know Ms. Hydra is okay, can we get back to the real issue at hand?”

As Carol was about to advance to Tony, it was Beth’s words that made the room quiet. “Of course it would be the self-righteous billionaire that would talk shit.” Tony’s head snapped towards Beth. “Excuse me?!”

Beth glared back at Tony, not daring to back down. Her arms were crossed as she continued, “Don’t act like you can’t hear me, or is your ego too far high for you to actually listen?”

Walking towards Beth, Tony said, “Listen here you son of a-” Before Tony could get any closer to Beth, Bucky had used his arm to stop him. “I wouldn’t if I were you.” Tony forcefully removed Bucky’s hand from his chest. He stepped away from Beth, not wanting to deal with what he thinks of as just some pathetic nurse.

“You know what the real issue is Tony - actually - all of you. It’s the fact that you seriously think of Y/n to be this villain.” Beth had let out a dark chuckle at the irony of the situation. “Or have you forgotten the shit you’ve ALL done? Let’s name them, shall we?”

“Beth-” Beth glared at Bucky. She didn’t care if this wasn’t the time nor the place for this conversation, because God was she so tired of them. “Tony, remember all the weapons that you’ve created for mass destruction and have yet to actually own up to the consequences of them?”

“I would stop there if I were you before-”

“Before what?!” Beth said as she threw her hands up. “Before you sue me?! Before you attack me?! Oh - that’s it, isn’t it? What are you gonna do? Kill me? Like how you did with Y/n?!” The room grew more silent as everyone besides Bucky and Beth digested her words. “It’s honestly sad how a bunch of adults has managed to push a KID to take their life away. All for what?! Because you thought she cheated on Wanda! News fucking flash - she didn’t even fucking cheat.”

“What?” Steve said. The shock of Beth’s words was still affecting him. “It was Memory Man. He had put fake memories in Y/n’s and mine’s heads. That was the whole reason we kissed - wait - did you not know about this?” The team was frozen while Carol and Fury impatiently waited for answers.

Not caring to wait for their pathetic excuses, Beth said, “It’s not like it matters what they have to say. They don’t even care for Y/n but for those that actually do. Right now we have no clue what her mind is going to be like. Memory Man has already given her enough damages before and considering we don’t know the full extent of his powers, we can only wait till she wakes up to see if she will actually be okay. Now if you don’t mind, I have a patient to take care of.”

Before Beth could leave, Bucky grabbed onto her arm. He gave her a look but Beth wasn’t having any of it. Ripping her arm from his grip, she stated, “Don’t Bucky. You know how much your family has hurt her. So don’t just stand there and act like they’re saints especially since you know how much Y/n needed you.”

It’s been a couple of days since the attack in New York and Y/n has since woken up. She has barely spoken to Beth, Bucky, Carol, or Fury. Although Estell’s presence would have been welcomed, Beth has yet to tell the girl the news of Estell’s death. Unfortunately, during the attack, she was shot and killed on sight by Hydra. The only reason Beth knew was from the long list of deaths she read on TV.

“We need to transport Y/n to a different location,” Fury said in a small meeting that consisted of only Bucky and Carol. “I agree. Since Hydra has managed to infiltrate the tower once, who knows when they’ll do it again.”

“That’s why a different country will do her better than here.” Fury sighed at the decision that was laid upon them. New locations will always be hard to adjust to but that wasn’t all of it. “Wanda will remain as Y/n’s guard.”

Abruptly standing from her chair, the loud screeched filled the room. “Are you serious?!” Fury’s expression didn’t change as Carol only grew with rage. “She could hardly take care of herself during the attack. What makes you think she could possibly take care of Y/n?”

“The girl was simply outnumbered. We all were.” Moving to get the file that was beside him, he slid it on the table. Bucky grabbed it and had started to silently read it. “But I need the both of you on the front lines. After what Beth has said, I need you two to make sure that the team is actually doing their job. They were supposed to have found out about Hydra’s plans before the attack, now I’m starting to think they didn’t even try.”

Carol was still angry at Fury’s decision to which he sighed. “You will know of Y/n’s location at all times. I will let her have a remote that when activated should send you a signal. Since you’re back on Earth, you’ll get to her in seconds.” Carol sat back down in her seat. Although she was still mad at Fury’s decision, she felt better knowing that Y/n could signal her for help.

“Now, I need you to say your goodbyes for now. Y/n leaves in an hour.”

Wanda stood in the foyer of the hanger as various agents loaded up the quinjet with materials that she and Y/n would need for the time they were gone. She was informed of the last-minute decision just moments ago by Fury himself.

“Please take care of her.”

The words echoed in her head as it had been the only time she’s seen Fury actually care deeply for somebody else. Before she could ponder more about it, Beth had interrupted Wanda’s thoughts. “Wanda?”

Turning around to the source of the sound, Wanda stood in front of a young blonde woman with intense eyes. “I’m Beth,” she said as she held out her hand. Wanda reluctantly shook it, not quite sure as to who this lady actually was. “I’m Y/n’s friend.”

“Great, another pretty girl I have to worry about,” Wanda thought. “Well, I’m also her nurse but I think she would consider me her friend as well.” Wanda stood awkwardly not really knowing how to respond.

Using this opportunity, Beth handed Wanda a bag full of medicine and vitamins. “I know this will be a lot to ask of you but could you please take care of Y/n?” There was no doubt in Wanda’s mind that this girl in front of her meant well. The nurturing feeling in her aura surrounded Wanda.

“That girl has been through a lot and I would know.” Confused by the intensity of her words, Wanda couldn’t help but ask, “How do you know this?”

“I’ve been her nurse for a while now.” This news only confused Wanda even more. “Was she injured before the attack?”

“What is it with you guys and not knowing a single thing about Y/n?” Beth thought. She started to get irritated at the thought of another Avenger hurting Y/n. She could only hope Wanda was different from the rest. However, Wanda heard Beth’s thoughts and said, “What do you know that I don’t?”

Beth scoffed at the question and replied, “The truth.” The simplicity of her answer made Wanda internally roll her eyes. Whether she admitted it or not, she had started to feel territorial over the fact somebody else knew Y/n better than her.

“Wanda let’s go!” Fury yelled from afar. The two looked over and saw Y/n hug Carol, Fury, and Bucky goodbye. Oddly enough, she looked emotionless when she did it. “Just please don’t fuck up again.” Wanda didn’t answer respond back to Beth because if she did, something bitchy would have probably left her mouth. Instead, she walked over and into the quinjet. She buckled into the seat closest to Y/n but the girl didn’t give any attention to Wanda. She remained silent and focused on her hands for the whole ride while Wanda thought more and more about what Beth meant.

“Now that we’re all here let’s get started.” Fury turned on the projector and the first image the was on the screen was New York on fire during the attack. “So far, we’ve received word that there have been 125 casualties and approximately around 500 critical injuries suffered from the attack.” Click.

“However, we face a bigger number when it comes to those that are currently missing. Estimating from 600 - 1000 people are found to be missing. And since we have efficiently cleared the rumble from the damages, our sources have found out how they’ve gone missing.” Click.

Footage of the event was playing but in the location of the subways. One by one, explosions could be seen in various parts of different train passages. It didn’t take long for Hydra soldiers to infiltrate the train systems but all camera footage cut to black. “Hydra has effectively taken hostages of those that were on the train during that night. They have used bombs to blast any chance of us going after them in these tunnels.”

“Is there a way to locate the subways?” Steve asked. “Since New York hardly invests in their transportation department, they are unable to track any of their subways. More than likely, Hydra has already disposed of them in case they were to be tracked.” Click.

“What we need is to figure out where these people have gone. This many hostages taken is something we cannot allow. And considering we have hardly been able to figure out their plans before the attack, I can only assume the worse when it comes to this.” Fury turned the projector off and continued his speech.

“Bucky and Carol will be removed from their current missions to assist the team with this situation. There will be absolutely no complaints about this. Any signs of lack of cooperation, I will gladly remove you and ban you from missions indefinitely.” Fury looked around the team once more and felt disgusted at the people he has to work with. Giving them no time to reply, he left the room not being able to stand the sight of them anymore.

Since they were dismissed, part of the team left in a hurry until it was down to three people. Tony was about to leave when Steve said, “Are you going to apologize to Y/n?” The question was genuine and serious because ever since that night, Steve had been unable to sleep. All he wished he could do was apologize to Y/n but the girl refused to see him. Unfortunately, he understood why.

“Why should I? It doesn’t change anything.” Steve stood up and slammed the table with his hand. “We killed her Tony.” Tony walked in front of Steve. “I didn’t do anything,” he sneered.

“Steve. Tony. We need to calm down,” Natasha said as she watched the two go at it. “Don’t act so mighty Natasha. I heard you bullied the girl too.” This comment caused Natasha’s jaw to harden. “Aww, did I hit a nerve?” Tony childishly asked. “Oh fuck off Tony. There you go again bringing other people down when you can hardly accept what you’ve done. YOU took away Y/n’s funds. She couldn’t even afford anything.”

“But you watched me do it, Rogers. You could have done something too yet you let it happen. So don’t patronize me. Nothing of what she said changes anything.” Tony quickly left the room as he felt himself explode in anger. This didn’t even surprise Steve anymore. He was tired of keeping the family together when it was clear now that it was meant to be apart.

“Here we are,” Wanda said as she dropped her bags in the living room. Looking at her surroundings, the flat was a decent size. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, living room, and accommodations on the floor below them.

“So what do you-,” Y/n hadn’t responded to Wanda’s question as she zoomed past her and walked into her room. Softly closing the door shut, Wanda sighed at her reaction. It wasn’t a surprise but Wanda still couldn’t help but feel hurt by it all. “I guess I should start unpacking.”

It’s been a couple of weeks since Y/n and Wanda started to live together in the flat located in the small town of Edinburgh. While Wanda mainly kept the place tidy, Y/n remained in her room all the time unless it was to use the bathroom or to eat. The only time she would even dare to be close to Wanda was during dinner. If it was breakfast or lunch, Y/n would take what Wanda cooked for the day into her room.

But Wanda was stubborn. She always left Y/n little notes of her whereabouts anytime she left for an errand but a small compliment would always be at the end of it. Sometimes she would knock on Y/n’s door and ask if she would want to watch a movie with her. Obviously, Y/n never answered but Wanda continued to ask. Other times, Wanda would think of Y/n’s favorite foods and would cook them for dinner that night. And while Y/n had never said it out loud, the empty plate she left in front of her always made Wanda swell with joy.

However, tonight was going to be different. Usually, the two would sit in silence as Wanda would have the tv playing in the background but Wanda needed to hear Y/n’s voice. Not only that, but she was hoping that the truth would come out as well.

Trying to figure out a way to break the silence, it was oddly Y/n that had done it first. “Why don’t you hate me?” At first, Wanda was shocked that Y/n had actually spoken, but the girl regain her composure and said, “Why would I hate you? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Y/n was silent for a moment until she said, “But I killed your brother.”

Chapter 10

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[thesolferino]

Hell On Earth

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ genre: fluff

⤷ word count: 3.2k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: you barge into clay’s office to complain about his broken air conditioner, unaware that he’s streaming.

Florida was hell.

You liked to say it as a joke, during October when the rest of the world was freezing, during December when the insane temperatures finally went back under control, and the sun granted you its blessing of a refreshing gust of wind every now and then. You liked to say it as a joke, mostly, but God, did you mean it whenever summer would creep around the corner and you’d get reminded of why you told your boyfriend so often that the devil must’ve left hell, came down to America, and bought himself a nice penthouse in Florida.

It lived up to its title of the hottest state in the US, by far, considering the hellish temperatures that constantly made you dizzy whenever June rolled around. You had great air conditioning in your apartment, though, and as soon as the sun started burning skin, plants, water, and everything in its way, you and your college roommate would lounge at your place as the air conditioner blew cold wind and thank the lord (and the person who invented AC, bless his heart) for providing you with at least one blessing during these trying times.

So, of course that as soon as summer came about, your air conditioning conveniently broke.

Your roommate was out of the apartment within two days, flying to her family in Wisconsin, bidding you farewell as she left you to cook like a raw chicken in your shared apartment. Thankfully, you had a boyfriend - and what a boyfriend he was.

You don’t like to brag, but at these moments, you feel grateful to the universe and whoever else is looking over you for providing you with a rich boyfriend, with quite a big, echo-y house, and air conditioning made of pure heaven. As soon as your roommate packed your bags, you packed yours too, - if one backpack filled with makeup, your laptop, meds, underwear and hopes that he’d let you steal all of his clothes could count as “bags” - locked the apartment and left, ready to leave the AC on snowman temperature for two days minimum and ignore all his complaints.

Bad luck seemed to follow you everywhere, though, because you were there for merely three days when the air conditioning started stuttering.

You were sprawled on the cold sheets of his bed, listening to the low hum of the AC as you scrolled through your phone, his white T-shirt sticking to your back, the cold air cooling the sheen of sweat that covered your body, leaving goosebumps all over. One of your fingers started lazily petting Patches’ stomach, and you could faintly hear Clay talking in the background, the sounds coming from his office.

“Thank you for the gifted subs! Um, yeah, it’s really hot here, I can barely, like, breathe in here. I have the AC on at highest, but all it’s doing is giving me a headache. Even-even my water bottle is completely hot.” You heard him rant and chuckled, turning on your side and continuing to scroll through random videos.

You sort of tuned out his talking, knowing he’d most likely be cooped up in that office for hours before your shared dinner, and started watching random YouTube videos, ignoring your surroundings as you shoved your earbuds in your ears. 

The longer the videos lasted, the more you felt like you were suffocating. The heat crawled up on you slowly, sneakily, almost unnoticeable yet undeniably there, hand made up of pure fire gripping at your throat tighter and tighter. It started off seamlessly, with you rolling around, trying to find a new cold spot on the sheets, to pulling at the shirt, trying to create cold air to soothe you, to wiping the sweat that basically covered your entire forehead, when your eyes finally peeled away from your phone and you realised you were basically choking in the heat, feeling like you’re breathing fire. 

You lift your head off the bed way too quickly, head pounding, and look at the one thing meant to save you from this madness - just to see it leaking water down the wall, barely coughing out any air. Your head miserably falls back down on the bed, hands rubbing at your face, dangerously close to both crying and screaming in distress. After a few moments of self-wallowing, you get up and make your way over to your boyfriend’s office, being met with nothing but silence as you walked to it, happy he ended the stream so you could complain and wail to him, possibly cool down using the AC in his office. 

You slam the door open, seeing him hunched over in his gaming chair, Minecraft open as usual, and as soon as he takes one headphone off, turns around and sends a surprised but oddly panicked gaze your way, you start ranting.

“Babe, you won’t believe what just happened.” you said, rubbing a hand over your face again, eyes closing as you feel the coldness - in comparison to the living hell that was his bedroom right now - of the room wash over you. You don’t even let him speak before you continue.

“The fucking AC in your bedroom just broke. It’s leaking right now.”

Clay looks like he wants to say fifteen words at once, and the first one that comes out is: “What?”

“I swear. I was watching something on my phone, and I realised it’s crazy hot, so I looked up and realised it’s broken. Why does this happen to me!” you complained, and he tried pulling his headphones off for a second but instead pulled the cord out of the computer entirely, letting you hear everything that goes on in his headphones.

It’s silent for a second or two, before you hear a familiar voice.

“Dream.” you hear a British man with an awfully posh accent speak, and your eyes meet Clay’s in pure horror and realisation, when you slap a hand over your mouth. He looks as equally terrified as you, but also disappointed, because oh, that’s why he looked so panicked when you stormed in.

Then you hear another voice, equally British, but higher pitched. They laugh. “Is that Drista?”

Clay seems to snap back into reality, turning around towards the computer and adjusting his mic before speaking. “No- it’s- Tommy she said babe, why would Drista call me babe?”

“You’re so stupid, he was trying to help you.” You hear his long-time friend, Sapnap, deadpan, and you can practically feel all of them freaking out, while you stand in the doorway in horror, cheeks heating up despite the fully working AC.

Another laugh. “No, I wasn’t, I was genuinely asking. Why- Sapnap, why would I be helping Dream?” 

“Dream, you are so stupid.” you hear George laugh into his mic and your boyfriend immediately starts stuttering, trying to defend himself.

“How-how am I stupid?! She’s the one who walked in, what was I supposed to do?” you lean against the doorway as he defends himself, head buried in one of your hands.

“Mute!” you hear Sapnap borderline yell, almost mad. 

“Wait- I don’t get what’s going on- Does Big D have a girlfriend?” you hear the British boy, Tommy, ask, and all of them go silent for a few seconds before a loud, screeching laugh breaks out through the speakers, and when Clay turns around to look at you, all you can do is mouth an apology as you almost break out into laughter at how ridiculous the whole thing is.

“Oh my God, chat is going crazy right now.” George says while Tommy is laughing his lungs out in the background, still.

“Did you actually- did she actually- oh my GOD, Dream has a girlfriend! I can’t believe this!” Tommy keeps on laughing, coughing between sentences. “Dream stans, I am so sorry, this must be just a terrible, terrible day for you all.” 

“You’re probably already trending on Twitter, dude.” Sapnap adds, sounding more worried than your own boyfriend did at the moment.

“It was bound to happen at some point, I guess.” he huffs out, turning around to look at you every so often, gesturing for you to close the door and come in, which you did, guilt weighing you down as you moved.

“Are you serious? Can I- Can I speak to your girlfriend, Dream?” you can practically hear the grin in the boy’s voice and Clay doesn’t even turn to you before replying.

“No, you can’t.” 

“Oh, come on! You let me speak to your mum but not your girlfriend? Just for a little bit, please? I just- I just wanna see which lucky woman managed to get the attention of the Minecraft God, Dream himself. That’s it.” Tommy asks and you don’t even have it in you to laugh because of the anxiety that eats away at you, but then Clay sighs. 

“...Fine, I guess.” he looks up at you. “D’you wanna speak to Tommy?” 

You’re not quite sure what the expected answer is, but you shrug, gaze darting from his eyes to the computer, and then back to him. “Um… I don’t mind, I guess.” 

You hear him sigh and plug the headphones back into the computer, handing them to you. “Alright, she said yes. Here you go.” he stands up out of the chair and lets you sit, placing the way too big headphones on your head as your heart races, standing closely by your side as you roll the chair further towards the desk and microphone.

“Um… hello?” you shyly speak, and you hear something like groans of mixed annoyance, confusion and nervousness coming from George and Sapnap as Tommy starts laughing immediately, greeting you loudly. 

“HELLO, DREAM’S GIRLFRIEND!” you hear him yell in response as your shaky hands land on the keyboard, moving his character left and right. 

“Is the AC really broken?” Sapnap asks and you hear George laugh in response, considering how unimportant that information is right now. You know both of them, obviously - you’ve talked to them more than a few times, joining in on their jokes when Clay talks to them on speaker, growing as close as one can with their boyfriend’s friends.

“Yeah, it is. The AC in here is really good, though. Maybe I should stay and just take over the Dream channel.” You joke and they laugh.

“Yeah, I mean it would probably be better. A woman owning the Dream channel would make it so much better. The views would skyrocket.” Tommy says and you see his character walk up to you before he randomly laughs again.

“I can’t believe- I can’t believe Dream actually has a girlfriend. Is he, like, paying you to do this, or are you really…” he trails off and you giggle at his question, switching tools in the hotbar as you try to figure out how to play the game again.

“No, he’s not. We are dating, yes.” you confirm with a nod, and you feel Clay’s elbow sink into the chair, almost trying to listen.

“Say 1 if he’s keeping you hostage.” he says and you laugh again, shaking your head.

“No, he’s not- he’s not keeping me hostage.” you reply and you hear Clay go “WHAT?” right behind you.

“Well, of course, of course, I mean, who could ever pass up dating the great Dream. With all those subscribers, and Twitch primes, and Minecraft skills. Did- did his Minecraft skills get you?” Tommy asked, but before you could even respond, Sapnap jumped into the conversation.

“Oh yes, absolutely. She loves it. Yes, Dream, speedrun faster!” he sarcastically replies and for a few moments the whole call is blown into loud laughter, screeching and yells before it quiets down.

“Yes, what Sapnap said. I was so impressed, he just blew me away, with um… with his, um, Manhunt skills? I dunno, I don’t play Minecraft.” you hear him laugh at “Manhunt skills” behind you as the rest of the boys start laughing too.

“Dream’s girlfriend doesn’t play Minecraft?! What?! Dream- how could he allow this, seriously…” Tommy argued dramatically, his character staring at yours - or rather Clay’s.

“I can’t imagine if we were both Minecraft players, that would be a nightmare.” you replied.

“Why?” you heard George laugh through the headphones.

“Who do you think peels him away from the damn computer? If I was just like him we would never get out of the house, probably.” you argued.

“Dreamfriend, what is Dream like, you know, in real life?” Tommy spoke up and you heard George giggle again.

“Dreamfriend?” you repeated, a grin forming on your face at his stupidity, finally deciding to move the character around and switch back to the sword in the hotbar.

“Yes! Dream’s girlfriend, Dreamfriend, Dreamgirl, Girldream, whatever you like.” Tommy said and you laughed.

“Dream girl… if I wanted to get clout off Dream I’d use that, that’s genius.” 

“Thanks, I know I’m a genius, everyone tells me so.” Tommy claims and you shake your head, checking your boyfriend’s inventory to see if there’s anything interesting in there.

“Alright, I’m gonna check on the AC, I’ll be back in a second.” Clay says to you, before lowering himself to the mic so the boys could hear him. “Tommy, don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“Oh you know it, big man! I’d never!” Tommy yells back, despite Clay being unable to hear him, and he leaves the office with one last, quick kiss to your temple.

“Is he gone?” Tommy asks, and you nod and hum, despite him not being able to see you.

“Okay, so you don’t play Minecraft, right?” he asks.

“No, I don’t.” you reply.

“So there’s this really cool thing, right. If you just go in and type /op tommyinnit, there’s this thing that’s gonna-” Tommy doesn’t get to finish his sentence before he’s cut off by Sapnap, whose character suddenly appears in front of you.

“No, no, no, no, don’t trust him, you should-” Sapnap cuts in, but Tommy still loudly protests in the background.

“BE NICE TO OUR GUEST, SAPNAP! Let her do what she wants! She is Dream’s girlfriend after all, the most powerful woman.” Tommy claims and you laugh, sort of blushing from all the attention. You don’t even dare to check the chat or the donations that come in from Twitch, because it must be blowing up by now. As if he can hear your thoughts, George speaks too.

“Oh my God, Dream’s already trending on, like, five different spots on Twitter.” he says, and you instinctively grab your phone to check, before you can even think about it.

“What?” you and Sapnap both say in sync.

“Yeah, ‘Dream’ is trending #2 worldwide, and ‘Dream girlfriend’ is #4.” he lets out a shocked laugh.

“Oh my God…” you mutter out in both excitement, nervousness and dread as you open Twitter and confirm that George is indeed correct. You don’t even dare to press on either of the trends, simply turning off your phone with a sigh and moving back to stream.

“Wow, you’re famous now! How does it feel?” Tommy asks and you let out a quite dry laugh.

“Amazing. I can feel my value as a person increasing as we speak.” you respond sarcastically and hear George quietly laugh in the background.

Just then, you hear the door to the office opening again, but you ignore it because Tommy starts speaking.

“Okay, well, I’m sure that must be very fun and exciting for you, but I really will need you to type in /op tommyinn-” 

“No! I’m not listening to you, Tommy! I’m not about to type in some stupid command and get yelled at!” you cut in, but he keeps on whining.

“Come on, we know Big D would never yell at his… beloved girlfriend! Listen, just do it, I promise he will not be mad.” he argues.

“What does /op even mean?” you ask out loud, and suddenly Clay is yelling behind you. 

“Who is asking you to op them? Give me the headset!” he says, one hand already tugging at the headphones as you laugh while Tommy panics.

“Well, it was fun talking to you guys, but I have to go. Bye!” you bid them farewell and heard George and Sapnap say goodbye as well while Tommy yelled, and you took off the headphones and passed them to Clay who immediately put them on and adjusted them, plopping back into the chair. You left, moving to the living room to process everything that happened and abandon your phone for the next few hours because you were not ready for that type of attention in the slightest.

You laid in front of the TV, watching random shows on Netflix and grabbing a few snacks from the kitchen while you could still clearly hear him yelling and streaming, wondering how he’s still going as if nothing happened. The temptation to check what people were saying was overwhelming to the point your hands were itching to grab your phone and open all social media - before you even realised it, you were on the trending page again, thumb tapping on the “Dream girlfriend” tab. 

You braced yourself for the worst, but that’s not what came at you - sure, there were a couple of tweets telling people to lay off you, and delusional shippers getting ratioed, but they were mostly positive, lighthearted jokes, from single people making jokes about how a Minecraft YouTuber can get bitches but they can’t, to people calling you cute/funny. One hate comment obviously stings more than a million positive comments make you happy, but they were mostly misogynists calling you annoying for the roughly five sentences you spoke on stream or shippers disappointed that their favorite YouTuber isn’t gay, so you didn’t really let it get to you. 

When the house finally quieted down the sun was lowering itself into darkness and melting into a pot of blinding orange and golden honey, and you heard Clay’s footsteps when he finally turned off the stream, stepping into the living room a few seconds after you heard him. He sat down on the couch next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him, sitting there in silence with you.

“So… that was something.” he finally broke the silence and you nodded.

“It really was.” 

Another beat of silence passes.

“I’m sorry, baby, but I really need you to stop breaking all these ACs.”

“I’M NOT THE ONE BREAKING THEM-”

“Sorry, but I’m noticing a pattern here.” he wheezed, obviously just trying to get you riled up as you pulled away so his hand gets ripped off your shoulder.

“Shut up. You better have called someone to repair that damn thing, cause there is no way we’re sleeping in there without an AC.” you huffed, and he shuffled closer to you, arm wrapping itself around your shoulders once again.

“I did, they’re coming by tomorrow.” he assured.

“Tomorrow?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief. “How are we gonna sleep tonight?”

“Who says we have to sleep?” the glint in his eye and the stupid grin plastered on his face tells you everything you need to know, and you roll your eyes.

“If we fuck, I’ll actually die of overheating. Absolutely not.”

“Well in that case, I need to get that AC fixed as soon as possible.”

[allthefakepeople]

Dunno if you're still doing this but yeahhh:

❛ let’s go somewhere, just you and me. ❜

~heartbreakprincewille 💛

alright bhakti sorry again for taking a bit to get to this one. i just had to make sure it was perfect. all your comments on all my other ones have been so so nice agh i'm obsessed with you.

i'm gonna be honest, this was meant to just be a fluffy one-shot about simon trying to distract wille from his anxiety by bringing him somewhere but apparently i'm incapable of writing one of these with out some sort of backstory or hurt/comfort whoops. however it’s definitely one of the more fluffy ones so don’t worry (i think i remember seeing you say you’re a sucker for fluff so i hope i delievered)

i hope you still like it :))

also everyone go follow @heartbreakprincewille for all of her wonderful content

-Miels 💜✨

Writing Prompts (and as i said, you can also send me one even if it isn’t on this list)

“Let’s go somewhere, just you and me”

Wille knew that Simon was watching him. Wille always knew when Simon was watching him. It always felt like little sparks were shooting down his arms and he’d get a small case of the shivers while his body reacted to the attention. Even in the most crowded of rooms he could feel those eyes piercing through him. He was not in a crowded room right now. Instead he was sitting on Simon’s bed in his room while they both attempted to do homework, but instead passed the time with not so innocent touches and looks that could turn Wille to fire if he wasn’t careful. He didn’t want to be careful. 

The aftermath of the video was painful. Wille had never been in a worse mindset. His mental health was at an all time low. He spent the majority of Christmas alone in his room, the only times he wasn’t he was arguing with his mother about August and Simon. Wille had cried more over the course of Christmas break than in the previous sixteen years of his life. He went to bed every night with a sore throat from shouting. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror, not wanting to look himself in the eye. He opened his phone to text Simon but then always refrained when he thought about their break up.

“You just expect everything to be on your terms,” 

He always put his phone away again after that. He didn’t have the right to reach out to Simon after everything. He knew how much he had hurt him. He’d never deserved Simon to begin with but he definitely didn’t deserve him now. He also knew he’d have to tell Simon about August at some point but there’s no way he’d be cruel enough to do that over the phone. So he sat in his room hating himself and hating the situation.

He must’ve gotten through to his mom at one point because the next time he tried to explain to her that when he returned to Hillerska he was going to ask Simon to be with him, officially this time, she said “Ok, fine. You have to start making your own decisions and then deal with the fallout of them when it blows up in your face,”

Which wasn’t an acceptance but it was as good as Wille was going to get. Maybe she finally caved when Wille explained that he wasn’t planning on coming out to the whole world right away, that he wanted to date Simon out in the open at Hillserska but he wasn’t ready for all of Sweden to have an opinion on who he loved. She also might’ve caved because Wille said

“In all honesty, I’m not asking for your permission anymore. You lost that privilege when you chose to protect August over me,” 

That was pretty hard for her to argue against. 

When Wille returned to Hillerska after break he was determined to make things right with Simon. He knew what and who he wanted and very little was going to get in the way of that. Somehow he failed to consider that Simon might not want that. 

When he approached Simon on their first day back, ignoring the whispers and the stares, he barely got out a greeting before Simon stopped him.

“Wille please. I can’t do this. You have to give me some space.” and after everything, despite how much it hurt to have Simon turn away, Wille didn’t have the right to push. So he gave Simon space. It was hard. God, it was more difficult than he thought possible. But he would respect Simon’s wishes if it’s the last thing he did. 

It felt incredibly ironic that the thing that broke them apart, August filming the video, is actually what brings them back together in the end. August seemed to realize that Simon and Wille weren’t spending time together anymore and took the opportunity to try and speak with Wille whenever he could. Not that it ever worked. How August didn’t seem to understand that Wille didn’t want to talk to him was a mystery. When he wasn’t avoiding August or staring longingly at Simon, who never seemed to be staring back, Wille found himself spending more and more time with Felice and Maddie, Felice specifically. She had been such a good friend to him during and after break and Wille would never be able to pay her back for that support. Wille told Maddie and Felice everything. He told them how he’d been drawn to Simon since he heard him singing in the choir on the first day and that attraction had only grown as he got to know him. He told them about how badly he felt like he’d treated Simon, with all the back and forth. He told them about finally getting together only for it all to fall apart again. He told them about his plans to get back together with Simon. He doesn’t think he’d ever talked to anyone as much as he talked to Felice and Maddie those first few weeks back. Well… anyone but Simon at least. 

Wille noticed that August had caught on to his growing friendship with Felice. Wille knew that, despite the fact that August had to know that Felice and Wille were just friends, that August was pissed at how close they were. He couldn’t always tell who August was more jealous of. After all, all that August had wanted was to be a part of Wille’s inner circle. It was only a matter of time before August got him alone. 

Wille took longer in the showers after rowing these days. He never could stomach completely undressing in front of anyone after what had happened. He always felt so exposed. So he’d often wait for everyone to leave before he got showered and changed because one of the days this happened, Wille left the shower to find August waiting for him. Originally, Wille was hellbent on ignoring him, but then August opened his mouth. 

“Can we talk, Wille? Please?” Wille knew that August wasn’t going to give up.

“Fine. I have to change first though and I’d rather do that without you staring. You know, after everything I’m not sure if a video will end up on line,” He knew he sounds petty and childish but he wasn’t going to take it back. August turned around and Wille dressed as fast as he could.

“Alright let’s get this over with,” Wille sat down on the bench and waited for August to come over to stand in front of him. For a few moments all they did was stare at each other. There’s no way that Wille was going to start this conversation. The silence stretched.

“Well?” Was all Wille offered. August’s face contorted.

“So you and Felice?” Wille was floored. Absolutely flabbergasted.

“What?” He knew the shock was in his voice, he just didn’t think that his friendship with Felice is what he wanted to talk about. 

“I’m just surprised. After everything with Simon I wouldn’t have thought that you’d move on that fast,” Wille couldn’t keep the scoff out of his mouth at this.

“August. You can’t be serious.” August’s expression didn’t change, though Wille did detect a hint of discomfort. “Not that I owe you anything but Felice and I are just friends. We’ve always been just friends and I’m genuinely shocked that you thought otherwise.” August looked like he was starting to relax at this but tensed back up at the next words out of Wille’s mouth.

“Also,” he stood up before he could continue, no longer liking the feeling of August looking down at him. “You keep Simon’s name out of your mouth. You do not get to talk about him. I don’t want you to even look at him. If you think about approaching Simon in the near future, I will go back to the headmistress and tell her that you supplied the drugs for the party and pressured all of us to blame it on Alexander” Wille thinks he sees fear in August’s eyes before they look away from him but he’s already on a roll. The anger he’s been holding back finally has an outlet.

“After you leaked that video of us, you do not get to comment on our relationship. Honestly you shouldn’t even be speaking to me. The fact that…” Before he can continue he hears another voice at the door. He understands why August had looked away.

“Wait, what?” He knew that voice. He hadn’t heard that voice in weeks. It’s crazy how quickly the anger faded from him and turned to dread at the sound of that voice. He turned around to see Simon standing at the locker room door. His face contorted with anger. Wille’s stomach twisted. This isn’t how he wanted Simon to find out. 

“Simon,” He went to explain himself but Simon wasn’t looking at him. Simon was looking at August.

“It was you?” Simon started walking towards where they stood. 

“This conversation is between me and Wille, Sosse, so turn around and walk away,” This had Wille’s eyes snapping back to August.

“August…” Before Wille could voice any of the venom building up in his mouth, Simon spoke again.

“You’re trying to tell me that you leaked that video of Wille and me and that I’m the one who shouldn’t be here? You’re a joke August,” Wille watches as August’s face contorts at being spoken to like that.

Listen you…” August starts, Simon interrupts.

“No. No, it's my turn. How dare you? How dare you leak that video. How could you do that to Wille?” Wille melts at Simon coming to his defense after everything. “I know you’ve never given a shit about me but Wille is your family. What possible reason could’ve been good enough that you would betray him like this?” Wille can tell Simon is just warming up too. Simon has now passed Wille and is staring straight up at August with all of the disgust imaginable. As Simon continues to talk though, Wille realizes Simon might make a rash decision that could get Simon in trouble and there’s no way he’s going to let that happen. He interjects quickly.

“Simon,” His voice is pretty soft when he says it but Simon shuts up immediately and looks at him. Hurt and anger the prevalent emotions swirling in Simon’s eyes. 

“Can we talk? Please?” He hates that this is the same thing that August had said going into this. Simon’s mouth drops in disbelief.

“Are you serious?” The anger was now focused on Wille.

“I’ll tell you anything and everything you want to know but not here. I’ll deal with August but let’s talk first.” Simon seemed to be struggling with this but Wille watched his face and noticed the second that Simon decided to go with him.

“Fine,” Simon didn’t wait for him before marching out of the locker room. Wille turned his focus back to August.

“If you approach either of us again, I will not be held accountable for my actions. Leave us alone,” Then Wille leaves too.

That initial conversation with Simon goes as well as Wille had expected. Simon is hurt that Wille never mentioned anything and felt betrayed that even after everything August was still finding ways to ruin his life. The conversation lasted for over an hour while Wille tried to explain the whole situation. That first talk didn’t go exactly how he’d wanted it to, however it had opened the door for more. 

Slowly but surely Wille and Simon built their relationship back up, starting as friends before realizing they’d never been good at being just friends. 

Now, here Wille sits on Simon’s bed a year later happier than ever. However sometimes he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to those initial, painful months. 

“Alright, come on,” Wille’s broken out of his thoughts by Simon’s voice. He knew it was coming. Simon could always tell when Wille was lost in his thoughts. Wille had known this was probably coming since he had felt Simon’s eyes on him. After all, for most of the night Wille had been the one trying to distract Simon from his homework only to have spent the last fifteen minutes staring intently at his math homework. Wille looked up into Simon’s gorgeous eyes. Wille still couldn’t believe the love he saw in them sometimes. He felt like the luckiest person in the world to be the one to witness it.

“What?” Is Wille’s intelligent response. 

“Let’s go somewhere, just you and me” Simon keeps direct eye contact as he says this, starting to pack up his own work. 

“Right now? Come on Simon it’s already nine o’clock. It’s dark out,” Simon is undeterred by this and instead moves to stand in front of Wille holding his hand out for him and maintaining that piercing eye contact. Wille knows that he’s going to cave. He always caves with Simon.

“Alright, let’s go,” Wille stands up and takes Simon’s hand. He’s rewarded with Simon’s blinding smile. 

“Yay,” Simon quickly jumps up on his toes and pecks him on the lips before he then pulls him out of his room. Wille feels dazed as he’s led through Simon’s house, still feeling the effects of that one small kiss. 

“Mama we’re going on a walk,” Simon explains, dropping Wille’s hand to put on shoes and a coat. Wille can’t do anything but join him.

“Okay Mis amores. Don’t stay out too late though,” Simon doesn’t seem like he’s going to respond to that so Wille offers her a quick

“We won’t Linda,” which awards him one of her motherly smiles that never fails to make a spark of contentment rush through him. He sees Malin out of the corner of his eye stand up from the couch and move to follow them. 

“Malin, can you take us somewhere?” Simon turns to question Malin who nods quickly.

“Of course, where will I be taking you both this evening?” Instead of saying it outloud though, Wille watches as Simon whispers it to Malin, which only leads to confusing Wille more. What is with the secrecy? Malin nods at whatever Simon says and they make their way out to the car.

They’re only in the car for a few minutes before Simon comes to realize where they’re headed. 

“Really? Why all the secrecy, huh?” Wille asks Simon, utterly endeared, as they pull up outside the football field. Luckily Malin, after doing an initial sweep, seems to trust that they’ll be okay and goes back to hang out in the car. 

Instead of answering Wille, Simon takes his hand and leads him to the center of the field where he then leads them to lay down in the grass. Wille looks over when Simon curses lightly under his breath.

“What?” Wille can’t help but ask.

“Well I was hoping there would be stars and that it would be more romantic. Wille brings his gaze up to the sky only to find it covered with clouds. He lets out a laugh and suddenly they’re both laughing. Simon is utterly ridiculous sometimes. As the laughter fades, Wille can feel Simon’s gaze burning into the side of his face again. 

“Did you know that this is the first place that I felt like I could fall in love with you?” And then Simon says things like that and Wille is rendered completely speechless. Wille turns to face Simon at these words Yet again, the love in Simon’s eyes leaves Wille breathless.

“Really?” Is all Wille can manage.

“Yeah. I mean, you were so cute introducing yourself to Ayub and offering to get me hotdogs. And then cheering for Rosh as if you were already friends. How could I not have fallen for you?” Wille finds his mind wandering back to that night.

“That was one of the best nights of my life,” Wille admits to Simon. He watches the surprise bloom on Simon’s face.

“Really?” Wille nods.

“Yeah of course. I mean, I already knew that I wanted to be spending all my time with you so the fact that you’d invited me in the first place had me feeling all giddy. And then you treated me so normally that night when you introduced me. I just felt like a normal teenager for once” Wille explained. “It didn’t hurt that you’re absolutely beautiful either,” Wille lightly teases, though the words are the complete truth. Wille thrills in watching a blush rise on Simon’s cheeks. Even after all these months together, they still can fluster each other. Wille hopes that feeling never goes away. There is a softness in Simon’s eyes that takes the final seed of anxiety flowing through Wille and discards it. All that’s left is a feeling of love.

“I love you, Wille,” Wille sometimes thinks Simon can read his mind.

“I love you too, Simon,” They gaze at each other until it feels like they can’t hold back. Their lips collide in a soft embrace. Wille feels the same butterflies as when they first kissed back at movie night but even more, this kiss feels like home. It feels like safety and trust. They stay wrapped up in each other’s arms, somehow Wille having shifted them so that Simon is under him as they kiss. It’s because of this that he’s the first one to feel it. He can’t help the gasp that he lets out into Simon’s mouth at the feeling of the cold drop on the back of his neck before it’s quickly joined by another one. He pulls away at this to look at the sky, more drops follow. 

Wille can’t help but let out a groan and collapses on his back. He hears Simon laughing at this reaction and can’t help but push him, letting his own chuckle cut through. 

“Come on Wille,” Simon now stands above him, hand outstretched to help pull him up. Once he’s on his feet again, instead of starting to lead him back to the car like he’d thought, Simon stands in front of him and says

“Can I have this dance?” Wille chuckles in disbelief.

“It’s raining,” Wille mentions as if he can’t see and feel the evidence of this all around him. A cold has started seeping in but there’s no way he’ll pull away from Simon.

“Yes I can see that, baby,” Wille blushes at the name, still not used to it. “But I’ve always wanted to dance in the rain with someone and this seems like the perfect opportunity,” Wille melts at this.

“Sap,” He can’t help but tease, though he’s already pulling Simon close and bringing Simon’s arms up to wrap around his neck. 

“We don’t have any music,” Wille says despite already starting to move them slowly in a circle. Simon just shakes his head and continues to stare into Wille’s eyes, his entire heart on display. At one point Wille pulls away to then spin Simon under his arm and then pull him close again. He can’t help but also bring his lips down to Simon’s, pulling Simon even closer as he does so. He pulls away from the kiss, though not going very far, to say

“How about rain kisses? Have you always wanted a rain kiss too,” He can feel Simon’s smile against his own before he swallows Simon’s response of

“Shut up,” They stay wrapped up in each other, swaying and kissing, far longer than they should. When they wake up the next morning with matching colds the only thing running through Wille’s mind is…Worth it.

[theepisceswriter]

Doing dirty things w/ AOT characters while you two most definitely shouldn’t be (Reiner, Erwin, Zeke, Levi)

A/N: my faithful stoned thot anon, shoutout to you for this request and I hope this was something like you were imagining in your mind. I know you only asked for simple mundane tasks, but I wanted to be extra and include more situations. I can’t wait to work on the other ones you sent me !

Synopsis: Basically, you’re trying to do a task that requires a lot of your attention or you to be silent (like on the phone, out to eat with friends, etc), but your partner really really needs some attention in that moment. I suck at descriptions sorry 🥴 If you see any typos no u didn’t, but really I was too lazy to proofread.

TW: Modern AU, hehe naughtiness obviously, choking for Zeke, also embarrassment, fembodied!reader, 18+, MINORS DNI!

REINER BRAUN: Movie night with friends

Reiner just couldn’t help himself, he really couldn’t. The first sight of you in your silky pajama shorts and this man’s thoughts were going crazy watching you parade around the house as you grabbed the snacks and needed materials for tonight’s movie night with some of you guys’ friends. Luckily the fabric of his pajama pants were loose enough to hide the growing boner in his pants, but of course he made it known to you by approaching you from behind and pressing it against your ass so you could feel just how hard you had made him simply by looking pretty.

His hands began to roam all over your body, stealing a grope of your breast, and his mouth attached to your neck, taking breaks in between kisses to tell you how good you look and how much you riled him up. As good as it all felt, Pieck and Porco were only right down the street, so you took his hands off of your body with promises of making him feel better later in the night once they had left. You’re lucky he doesn’t like quickies like that and prefers to take his time with you or else he would’ve taken you right there up against that counter chile.

Pieck and Porco finally arrive and what was supposed only be one movie turned into two, and now here you were snuggled up under Reiner on a completely different couch than Porco and Pieck while they flipped through a catalogue on the television looking for a new movie to start up; Reiner growing more and more impatient as the minutes went on. The constant caressing on your thigh and pinches he would give your nipples every now and then giving that away completely.

You got tired of fighting his advances off a long time ago and part of you wanted him to continue, to see how far he would actually go, because truth is you wanted him just as much as he wanted you right now. You were just a lot better at hiding it.

It was halfway through the movie that he finally decides to make a drastic move, moving you to a position where your back was pressed against his chest and tapping your hips, signifying for you to raise them so he could pull your shorts down to your thighs.

“Sit still for the rest of the night and I’ll reward us both so good once they leave.” He’d whisper in your ear. The only warning you’d get before he’s slowly easing his cock into you careful not to stretch you out too much, but the wetness that accumulated between your legs all night long makes it so you swallow him completely. A shocked moan leaving both of your lips, but luckily being silenced by the action scene on the tv; both Porco and Pieck too into it to even pay attention to the two of you.

So desperately you wanted to swirl your hips up against you, create any sort of friction to make his cock hit that spot in your soft velvety walls that left you clenching and squealing and him growling into your ears, but instead you had to be as still as possible while cockwarming him. Not being too careful would surely draw the attention of the other two, but Reiner still tested the waters every now and then by shifting every so often on purpose to cause movement.

He was even able to draw a weird moan out of you once that had Porco and Pieck looking over at you like you were crazy, questioning if you were okay which you had no choice but to reply yes to. Barely able to get that out because the feeling of his cock throbbing inside of you mixed with your walls clenching around him was a whole sensation on its own.

“Careful, you don’t want them knowing that I’m balls deep in you right now would you? Or would a slut like you enjoy that; them knowing that your pussy is swallowing my cock whole right now?”

Reiner is degrading during sex sometimes and you cannot tell me otherwise #sorrynotsorry.

And when he said the two of you would be staying like this the whole night until they left he absolutely meant it. After that little moaning incident he surprisingly acted normal the whole night, like the two of you weren’t even doing what you were doing underneath the cover. Knowing how torturous it must be for him to deny you the skin to skin contact and hip bucking you needed from him.

ERWIN SMITH: In a restaurant surrounded by friends

You never thought Erwin to be the bold type to try something out in public with you. The closest thing the two of you have done to it was a quick quickie in his office once with you pressed against the window of the skyscraper building it was located in, but even then you could feel the anxiety in his muscles as he pressed himself up against you; scared of an assistant or important business partner to come barging in on the two of you.

So you can imagine the shock on your face when you were spending the night out with friends at a restaurant, preoccupied with listening to Levi’s horror stories at his tea shop when you felt the ghostly tingles of Erwin’s fingers trail up on your thigh. A hand on your knee was nothing, something he had done plenty of times as a small sign of PDA, but this was different. You looked over to him with a questioned look in your eyes, but his kept his eyes straight and responded to you physically by pressing his thumb against the cloth that separated his finger from your clit.

Almost immediately you choked on the spit going down your throat which garnered the attention from everyone else at the table asking if you were alright. Everyone but Erwin turned to you and if they were truly paying attention that would’ve been a major sign that something was up, but your quick, “I’m okay!” Response had them off your back in an instance and only edged Erwin on more, fingers pushing your panties to the side as he continued on.

The food in front of you hadn’t been touched in around 10 mins since you found yourself full before you were able to finish it all, but you had to pick up your fork and abruptly take a bite of of it when you felt Erwin’s long fingers plunge into you with ease from your wetness and curl up into you; the metal between your teeth the best attempt you had at covering up your moans.

You swear you saw a slight smirk on his lips when you glanced over at him because he’s a menace to society like that.

His hands moved so languidly inside of you hitting all the right spots and pressing down on the sensitive parts of you that always guaranteed a reaction out of you. While also simultaneously still rubbing your clit with his thumb in wide circles, enjoying every twist and turn he saw your face do as you tried desperately to hold your moans in.

At one point, to mess with you even more, he leaned in and whispered into your ear, “You think all these people know that your cunt is clenching around my fingers about to cum?” No one else heard him but you, but it definitely drew the attention of Levi who threw a confused look your way. To which you could only reply to with a smile and awkward chuckle that almost broke out into a moan because Erwin thought it would be a good idea to speed up his fingers.

You didn’t care how obvious it looked anymore, your teeth found comfort in the skin of his arm to stifle moans and your fingers had a death grip on his thighs as your orgasm hit you like a wave. Leaving you with nothing to do but grind your hips down into his fingers slowly to not draw attention as you rode out his orgasm. His fingers were covered in your slick as he pulled them off of you and instead of being discreet and wiping them on his pants or even your dress, he picked up a small dessert off his plate and turned to you. Feeding it to you and sticking his fingers a little too far in your mouth so you can clean your own orgasm off of your fingers. His thumb going between his own lips once he took his fingers out of your mouth and sucking on it gently. “That was delicious.” He would state, never breaking eye contact with you.

The tent in his dressy slacks gave away all the excitement he was feeling on the inside as he watched you squirm in your seat while he did something so naughty to you in public. He couldn’t take it anymore, placing his share of the bill on the table and excusing the both of you for the night before going around and saying your goodbyes. No one seemed to notice anything, except for when you went to Levi to give him a goodbye hug and he whispered in your ear, “Next time get a room or go to the bathroom you freaks.” You totally weren’t embarrassed and didn’t leave the restaurant with warm cheeks.

ZEKE JAEGER: During a zoom meeting

First off, sexy time stuff aside, Zeke is a menace to society and always interrupting your zooms. Whether it’s him barging into the room and asking a question like “Did you eat the last bagel?” While you’re unmuted or walking behind you with his shirt off while you have you camera on. You will never know a peaceful smooth sailing zoom meeting with Zeke in the house.

But you were immune to it at this point and he was a little too immune and comfortable with messing with you while you were in them. But hey, you couldn’t blame him! You looked all too good to him while you laid in the bed on your stomach in one of his band tees and nothing else while you payed attention to the boring lecture happening on your laptop.

Once he realized that your camera was off his hands were on you immediately, rubbing up and down your legs to signify to you that he was in a mood while he made his way on the bed behind you.

“You can’t just be walking around the house all sexy like this and expect me not to pounce on you.”

You want to say something snarky and remarkable back, but a distraction from your boring ass class is exactly what you needed. So instead of protesting this time around, you arched your back so your ass was nearly up to his face to which he replied with playfully slapping you on it and even taking a nibble of your cheek. And because you’re a menace to society you run your own hand along your clothed slit and moving your panties out of the way to put it on display for him.

“I could really use some distracting right now.” Say less, this man’s mouth is on your clit in an instant, devouring you like you’re his first meal of the day. Your hips instinctively grinding down against his tongue as he moved his focus to sucking on your clit at a pace that left you ass up face down on the bed moaning like a pornstar. Never mind his beard scraping against your thighs and possibly leaving a rash there later for you to deal with. It adds a nice touch of pain to your pleasure.

So caught up into the pleasure warming up your lower stomach, you don’t even notice your teacher calling on you until Zeke reaches out and taps on the keyboard to move your attention back to the zoom in front of you, his mouth still working magic on your clit; a mixture of his spit and your juices trailing down his chin. The site is enough to make you cum but you’re forced to divert your eyes away from it as you unmute yourself, quickly asking her to repeat the question, going back on mute before they can hear the slurping noises that Zeke obnoxiously made louder once you unmuted.

“I’m going to kill you.” “Pay attention to school sweetheart before I stop completely. Education comes first!” What an asshole, but despite the joking tone of his voice you know he’d stop in a heartbeat just to mess with you and you’re too close to an orgasm for him to up and quit like that.

From the way your hips move sloppily against his face he can tell that you’re close, but once the teacher repeats the question at you to answer he pulls away completely seemingly to cut you some slack. But, surprise, he only moves his mouth away to replace it with his cock, sliding into you with ease and thrusting into you at a steady pace that has you moan loudly into the microphone on accident.

His face lights up with a smug expression and smile, the embarrassment on your cheeks making him pick up his pace and turning him on in a way. “Now your whole class is going to know that you were getting fucked by me. Too busy getting your hole pounded to even pay attention to the lesion. What a dirty little slut, they’re probably talking about you right now as we speak.”

You’re at a loss of words, not only because of embarrassment but because you can barely form a sentence from the way Zeke is pounding into you so ruthlessly from behind. His hand even coming forward and grabbing at your neck to balance himself against the bed while on his knees.

Your morning with him is far from over and the embarrassment from this zoom is going to last with you forever.

LEVI ACKERMAN:  On an important phone call

I know Levi Ackerman with his hands around our necks really get us going and the thought of dom him fucking us from behind while on the phone with our boss  makes us feel butterflies in our stomachs....BUT the thought of sub Levi whimpering and having to put his phone on mute while discussing business with someone because you have his cock halfway down your throat, is an equally as hot image.

He would glance at you from over his phone and let out a silent “What are you doing?” And make a faint shooing away motion in the air to make you leave, but he doesn’t want you to leave. You know that and he knows that which is why when you went to unbuckle his pants he gladly let you, hips even raising slightly so you can pull them down enough to let his cock and balls free from the restraints of his underwear and pants.

It was such a sudden and rash decision on your end that he wasn’t even hard at all when you pulled him out, but one lick from the base of his cock to the tip of it is enough to make it stand tall. Warranting a deep intake of air that has the person on the other end of the line asking if he was okay. Between the embarrassment from nearly being caught and the pleasure exploding in his lower half from how good you’re working your mouth, his cheeks are flushed with a bright pink color.

“Do you want me to stop” “no, no, keep going, please.”

He’s so needy and close to that sweet release already, the excitement from doing something so naughty while the person on the other end of the phone has no idea has his senses in an overload. Even the broken ‘Y-Yes’s that have to leave his lips every time he unmutes his phone strikes an excited nerve in him that he didn’t know he had; wishing he could moan as freely as he could to show off how good you make him feel, but he bites back those moans with his teeth. Instead opting for a number of praises when he can.

“You look so pretty on your knees in front of me with your cock in my mouth.” “You make me feel so so good, you don’t even know how good I feel right now because of you.” “Keep that up and I’m going to cum.”

Eyes closing shut and breath picking up the closer he gets. His hand even coming down to move your head at a pace that feels godly around his cock.

Usually you would tease and pull away altogether when he did this, reminding him that he couldn’t be too needy, but you would be lying if you said this didn’t have just as much of affect on him as it did on you, thighs clenching together with each bob of your head and moan that left his lips that he couldn’t quite bite back.

He’s an incoherent mess at the end, lips not even able to move together to form sentences and his hips bucking up wildly into your throat to release his load down your throat. His hips still bucking up slightly even after he came because it just felt that good. His mind was so clouded with pleasure that he didn’t even notice the person on the phone had hung up a long time ago, something he would have to deal with later but that proved helpful right now.

“I hope you don’t think that this was it.” Oops, now you awoke the dominant side of Levi’s switch personality and he’s definitely not letting you off the hook for this one.

[oreoambitions]

Previous Draft // Ao3

The courthouse doors open with a bang, and the sound of conversation tumbles out of the atrium and onto the courthouse steps. Security flanks Lena on either side, two uniformed bodies ahead to break the crowd, two behind to keep it from closing in around her. Lena keeps her head up, confident in the knowledge that she will appear to take this all in stride. In truth, she crosses the atrium in a sort of daze.

There are moments in a person’s life when time sticks and stutters, moments that linger beyond their natural boundaries, that creep and haunt and niggle at the mind. As she steps out through the courthouse doors, she understands that this is one of them. Time hesitates for her even as she passes into the chaos of lights and cameras outside, towards the waiting crowd of journalists shouting over one another in a fashion not conducive to anyone’s questions ever actually getting answered.

For an instant she’s back on the witness stand: the defense is demanding Supergirl’s name, and the judge is not intervening; the words I plead the fifth are heavy on her lips. That moment has passed, and it hasn’t. There will be ripples. All Lena can do about it now is try to keep those ripples to a minimum, for Kara’s sake; she must say nothing to anyone until they’ve had a chance to talk alone.

“Ms. Luthor.” 

The officer at her side encourages her forward, not quite touching her back with one hovering hand. Lena realizes with a start that she’s paused halfway down the courthouse steps. At the bottom, Supergirl drops out of the sky in a dramatic, press pleasing fashion. That soft warm smile is another echo of the courtroom, and Lena is reminded that Kara intentionally slipped out of the courthouse another way and circled back for the cameras. Lena has, rather uncharacteristically, committed a critical error in a critical moment, and now Kara is covering for her with theatrics.

It’s working. The cameras turn on Kara as Lena makes it down the last few steps and into her waiting embrace.

“I’m sorry,” she begins, half stumbling as Kara pulls her close, closer than usual, one hand hot at the back of her neck.

Kara turns her shoulder to shield Lena from the bulk of the cameras. “Not here,” she murmurs, so low that Lena is almost not certain she’s heard it. And then Kara pulls back, not quite far enough, and Lena is acutely and self-consciously aware of the sound of camera shutters snapping all around them, the closeness of Kara’s body, the gut wrenching feeling that the eyes of the nation are on them and the stage lights are all lit up and she doesn’t know her lines.

The judge should have intervened. Her mind keeps catching on that point, on the heavy pause in the courtroom, Kara’s expressionless face, the pounding of her own heart, the irrelevance of the question. It feels as though if she stays in that moment long enough, pictures it clearly enough, the judge will step in and this story will play out another way.

Time, of course, does not work like that. It stutters and sticks only in her mind, while in the real world the press clamors and Kara’s cape flutters in the quickening wind. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Kara is saying, her voice pitched so that the waiting journalists might catch words that, God willing, sound hollow to Lena’s ears only. “You were amazing in there.”

Lena is thinking about what the headlines are going to say tomorrow. Luthor and Super: Partners in More Than Crimefighting. Or perhaps, Luthor Makes False Marriage Claim on Witness Stand, Investigation to Follow.

Kara cups Lena’s face with one hand, and she snaps back to reality. She has about half a breath to catch up with what’s happening before Kara is closing the distance between them, and she hates to be a walking cliche, but oh. This is not how she has imagined their first kiss might go - not that she’s ready to admit to anyone except maybe Sam that she’s imagined their first kiss at all - and for a sickening second she feels nothing but regret. But then Kara’s lips are on hers, softer than her imagination has ever accounted for, and Lena is melting into her, kissing her back just at the edge of what might be considered chaste.

It’s an act, of course. If Lena’s heart flutters where she knows perfectly well Kara can hear it, can feel it, that’s just the nerves of the whole situation. Kara is, after all, kissing her on the mouth right there in front of God and everybody, shutters clicking all around them, reporters laughing and cheering in the background. It’s not unreasonable to feel a little something; her secret is still safe.

When Kara breaks the kiss, Lena chases after her mouth, and not for show. There’s that soft smile again, lipstick a little smudged, and perhaps she’s imagining things but Kara’s eyes seem warmer than they did before. 

Kara drops a second kiss onto Lena’s forehead. “Can I take you home?” she asks, her voice still pitched for the journalists on the steps.

“Please,” Lena replies. 

She tucks herself back into Kara’s chest as strong arms close around her. If anyone asks, it’s for the cameras. There’s a car waiting for her, and a driver who will have to be well compensated for the waste of his time, but it’s better if the press sees that she and Supergirl are leaving together, isn’t it? And nothing could be more memorable, more pressworthy, than flight.

And, Lena thinks, it’s better because, selfishly, she wants to prolong this moment of closeness. She wants to soak it all in: Kara’s smell, the brush of her hair across Lena’s cheek, the preparatory breath before takeoff. This is the moment Lena wishes would slow down for her, just this last moment when she can imagine to herself that what happened in the courtroom was a bad dream of little consequence, and that nothing between her and Kara will ever have to change.

///

Kara does not take Lena home. They fly instead over the wide arc of National City’s suburbs and into the foothills, and from there a little further still until they’ve reached the mountains above the city. Kara deposits them in a valley on the leeward side of a low peak dotted half with shrubbery and half with scraggled conifers, the names of which Lena has to admit she does not know. She rubs feeling and warmth back into her arms and resists the urge to ask where they are while Kara paces, the agitation and anxiety in the lines of her body a clear departure from the soft warmth on display outside the courthouse. When she rounds on Lena, it feels like the inevitable fruition of Lena’s mistakes.

“You told them we were married? Lena!”

“Technically I didn’t use those words.”

“Oh okay, so between my wife and my priest, which role did you think the court was going to assume you were alluding to?”

“What was I supposed to say? They had me backed into a corner.”

“It wasn’t relevant to the case! This was about Lilian. It had nothing to do-”

“It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t relevant, because the judge wasn’t intervening. I just- I panicked. I had to say something. I wasn’t going to lie under oath, and even if I were willing, what could I have said? Should I have thrown out some other name, thrown someone else under the bus? And what then, when it became obvious to the nation that I’d lied-”

“Oh, and you thought this was better? What are you going to say when they want proof? There’s no documentation. There was no wedding to document. Supergirl doesn’t exist as a legal entity, you can’t just-”

“Kara, I-”

“It’s just not like you not to think things through.”

They stand there staring at one another, Kara’s jaw clenched, Lena’s arms crossed tight across her chest. The sun is going to go down soon; Lena is already shivering a little in the shadow of the mountain. This is a mess, and it’s a mess of her own making, and she doesn’t know how to unmake it out here in the gathering dark.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I could have - I should have refused to answer. But then they’d have held me in contempt and thrown me in prison. And I’m willing to go to prison for you, Kara, believe me, but then you’d have broken me out because you’re a beautiful idiot, and where would that leave us?”

Kara’s mouth twitches up a little at the corners, and then she laughs outright. “I would have,” she admits. “What a mess that would be.”

“I know I messed up,” Lena offers.

“You were trying to protect me.” Kara scuffs one boot in the dirt. “They’ll try to hit you with perjury charges; you know they will. You might wind up in prison at the end of this anyway.”

Lena nods. She does know this. Some part of her knew it the moment the words I plead the fifth left her mouth, and yet, everything she’s protested to Kara is true. Those words were the only road open to her so long as that judge remained silent.

“Well,” Lena says, “You don’t grow up in the Luthor household without learning a thing or two about the loopholes of the legal system. Burden of proof lies with the prosecution; it would be very difficult to prove that a wedding didn’t happen.”

Kara tsks and turns on her heel to stare out over the valley. “Supergirl isn’t a legal entity. They could challenge you on the grounds that you can’t be legally married to someone who doesn’t legally exist. And if they found a judge more sympathetic to Lex than to you….”

“Not a difficult thing to find,” Lena admits. She stands in the fear and the evening chill for a long moment “I meant what I said, Kara. If I go to prison over this, so be it. Anything to protect you.” Anything for the woman I love, she wants to say, but Kara isn’t ready for that. Might never be ready for that. And neither, truthfully, is Lena.

Kara’s fingers have found the edge of her cape, and now she’s worrying at it in the fading light. She doesn’t look back at Lena for what feels like a long time, and when she does her expression is guarded. “I want you to promise me you’re going to hear me out before you say anything.”

“Okay….” Lena says. She tries to wrestle down her questions, her curiosities, her reservations. Anything for Kara, after all.

Kara takes a deep breath, looking for all the world like she’s readying herself to make a national address. “I have a terrible idea.”

[edna-skiffens]

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

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