#anyway this woman needs a hobby
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~surf the wind~
#hi fi rush#hfr#korsica hi fi rush#my art#look i just have some feelings about korsica and her wind powers okay#anyway this woman needs a hobby#get her out in the fresh air#put some roses in those cheeks etc etc#you know she'd be brilliant at it
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OC
#my characters#mmofail#HIS name is Beta Burst but he is played by a woman named Haley#and shes chill correcting people that hes a she irl but also just doesnt mind which pronouns people use online#irl though shes a she/her through and through#also she tells one of her employees at work (shes a manager at a convenience store) to get a hobby or find a fun online game#cause he always looks super tired and he tells her he doesnt wanna socialize out of work in person people are tiring#and then hes like hmmmm a hobby or game hmmm#and then he gets the same game and goes on the same server and lets his sister design his character#while he naps then he just picks a name and chooses ETA 1400 bc he works overnight and if he logs in#he plans to log in at like 2pm so why not make that his name#however there is a guild owner who wants to collect all the greek letters (her own name in game is Omega Rising)#so she makes the executive decision to include eta 1400 and when he and beta are talking one day in game#hes like oh yeah im just playing cause my boss at work told me i needed a hobby#and beta is like oh shit thats me im the boss who told him he needs a hobby#so eta starts calling beta boss in game just like he calls her irl#and its just a nice lil friendship and shes happy when eta starts to make friends in the guild#he still has a lost lil puppy like following vibe when hes around boss but eta does do some growing socially#mostly with betas friends in the guild which are: a guy with no backbone and a guy playing a girl who doesnt tell anyone shes a he#anyway thank you thats my oc essay tags and i love beta and shes just really funny to me#bc she just is there to vibe and play pvp#which the horn lore is those are high ranking pvp rewards for heavy blade users#and when eta finds out the pvp reward for a healer is a bloodied crown#hes like please please please help me learn pvp that sounds really cool ill do my best boss
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toxic trait is that i think i could fix clementine midnight burger
#now would i actually do it is a separate question#i think she's could do it herself as well#she just needs some emotional regulation and she's good to go#get that woman some therapy and a journal and a hobby fr#anyways. i love her.#midnight burger
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brings you to the lavender farm¹ that the bear² is from and takes you through the fields looking at all the different types of lavender before having some lunch at the farm cafe and getting you some lavender ice cream to try out (i'm sure you're interested by the sound of it and yes it is pretty good^^) and then takes you to the gift shop for you to look through at anything else you might like so i can get it for you:> and just has a lovely day together:3
1. https://lyndochlavenderfarm.com.au/
2. https://lyndochlavenderfarm.com.au/products/lavender-bear?_pos=1&_sid=90127ddf4&_ss=r
uhm, yeah <3
:O a fun outing!!!!! there are so many cool different types of lavender i never knew... and not all of them are purple! i only thought lavender came in. well. lavender so seeing different colors is really cool...i especially like the hidcote pink and munstead, very pretty! i am running through the fields and picking flowers if they would let me pick flowers if they don't i am admiring their beauty without taking anything ^^ you're right actually i would love to try lavender ice cream! and i also wanna try lavender honey and lavender jam, they sound very floral and sweet, very nice c: i should find some for myself soon in like a farmers market or something i wanna try it irl... hmmm....from the gift shop i would like the lavender body mists, incense, lip balm, & bath salts. ok maybe not the bath salts actually ^^' i don't trust myself not to eat them. vietnam flashbacks. and also the lavender sleep pillow for the same reason i'd like the plushie (seems cuddly and would help me sleep) and finally maybe some lavender seeds so i could grow my own lavender! thank you for taking me this day was so fun, at the end of the day i reveal i have taken some lavender flowers and weaved them into a flower crown for you and i put it on your head. i love you. i also took the plushie and she had so much fun, here are two pictures i drew of her enjoying the day out ^^
she is laying in the grass and also sitting next to lavender flowers because i couldn't decide which drawing i liked better. ignore the way her palms are open magnanimously like jesus christ or jerry seinfeld i wanted to show her beans. also ignore the way her nose is white in the grass drawing i forgot to color it in. just imagine she ate a powdered donut filled with lavender jelly, okay? thank you again, this was really fun! bye bye 💖💖💖
#the thought of this made me very happy ^^ what if life could be dream...#only thing is i can't actually get the bear plushie because they don't ship to the us. hell world.#anyway i have been trying to learn how to draw lately!#it's slow going because between family and friends and college and other hobbies (like chess and baking and gardening) and The Horrors#i don't have a lot of time to practice#so i'm not very good yet but that's okay because i'm having fun and i'm allowed to be bad at things#so far i can draw.#BUNNY! KITTY! SHEEPY!#THE FACE (AND NOTHING ELSE! JUST THE FACE!) OF A MELANCHOLY WOMAN WITH HEAVILY LIDDED EYES#AND WINGED EYELINER AND LIPSTICK AND BRAIDS!#TEDDY BEAR! CREEPY SMILE! BREASTS! and that's it ^^#i want to try my hand at fanart someday maybe...#for now i've set a goal that i need to get better at drawing bodies and hands and generally conveying motion.#like looking to the side and different poses. and HAND POSES ugh i'm so bad at hand poses.#i do most of my work on pencil and paper but i should get some kinda drawing app soon...#only thing is i don't have a tablet and i know in my heart i cannot draw with a mouse on a computer. i just Can't.#i mean i guess i DO have a laptop but it doesn't have a touch screen...#so digital is kinda off the table for now unless i'm drawing with my phone (like the teddy bear drawing)#i'm rambling. ok so thank you!! the mental image of this was very pleasing to me.#you're very nice. have a nice day!!! you deserve it. bye bye <3#fortunes told (asks)
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BITCH, YOU KNOW I'M SEXY ᯓ★
━━ ❝ I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY, N★GGA! FIND A NEW HOBBY, N★GGA! ❞ wc. 5.4k
ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...synopsis : being toji's roommate, you finally snap after another night of not being able to sleep because of his damn late-night hookups. your house, your rules.
ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...cw : blk!fem!reader x f. toji, frenemies to lovers, smut, face-sitting + pussy eating, dumbification, degradation, praise kink, dirty talk, playful arguing, hair pulling, size kink, begging, riding, unprotected sex (do not do this in real life omfg), dom-ish reader, sub-ish toji, lots of pet names, toji being an asshole, toji gets called a 'good boy' a few times
ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...lunar's notes : toji toji toji, what am i going to do with you...anyways, this was super fun and i love these two so much and i need them to go out on a date properly at some point ! if you want to be tagged for the future posts, comment on the main post here ! enjoy baddies ❤︎
you love sleep. absolutely love and cherish it, even.
every night, you follow the routine you set for yourself without fail: hot shower, slipping into some comfy PJs, in-depth skincare, brushing your teeth, and then pulling your bonnet on.
nothing is better than slipping into bed, soft sheets feeling sooo good on your skin. yes, you absolutely love sleep.
except it seems that your roommate has no respect for your need for rest, considering how many times you've had to hear the high-pitched whining of women paired with the annoying thud of the headboard against the wall.
he better not damage the wall either, because he will be the one paying for it.
you both were...sort of friends, sure, but ever since you both graduated college, toji has been doing his best to get on your nerves. constantly picking on you, teasing you, or doing stupid shit that annoys the fuck out of you. especially whenever he leaves the fucking toilet seat up in the middle of the night.
and every time he hears you squeal late at night in the bathroom before shouting his name, he can't help but laugh.
eventually, it went from him just doing things to inconvenience or mess with you to this. and you were tired.
these nightly...activities of his need to be addressed because you are not letting a man of all things be the reason you can't sleep soundly at night. this is your apartment, after all!
it's a friday night and you just know you need to talk to him before you have to hear some woman fighting for her life of toji does...whatever he does that has all these women coming in and out of your apartment like it's a damn brothel...okay, well, it was the same two women, but still!
so that's how you find yourself, pounding on his door, sleepy, tired, and irritated in your hello kitty pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt, ready to get in bed and actually sleep.
"fushiguro, open this damn door," you command, fluffy slipper tapping on the floor as you wait for him to open his door. after a minute, you hear a groan and the shuffling of sheets before the door swings open.
toji stands in the doorway, only in a pair of sweatpants that hang low on his hips with an eyebrow raised as he looks down at you. you don't care how hot he looks, you want nothing more than to wipe that look off his face, hating how smug he looks.
"whaddya want? 's she here already? told 'er not to come for another 2 hours," he mumbles, scratching at the scar on his lip. you're silent for a moment, processing what he just said. "who......no. nononono. absolutely not, tell whoever you are expecting she is not coming into my apartment."
crossing your arms, you fix him with a tough look. sure, you know you aren't the scariest thing, especially in hello kitty pants and puffy slippers, but it doesn't matter! he is going to respect your wishes or...or else!
"aww, what's wrong, doll? can't sleep," he teases, voice low and sinfully smooth as smirk finds its way onto his face. "guess ya should've invested in those headphone y'keep talkin' about so much. can't help that 'm just that good that the girlies can't keep their mouths shut."
having you in front of his bedroom door like this...it's so fucking adorable to him, you were just so cute and didn't have a single clue, did you? complaining that he and his little playthings were too loud and keeping you up was not what he expected. but, toji won't lie, he's genuinely surprised it took you so long to finally say something.
it seems his little comment struck a cord, his smirk getting bigger when your eyes get just a bit wider in disbelief. man, you were so fucking cute like this, all angry and huffy.
"okay, first of all, those headphones are NOT comfy to sleep with at night. and i'm not dropping almost $400 dollars on something so that i can accommodate for you," you argue, stepping forward and jabbing your finger into his stupidly big chest.
no, seriously, why were his pecs almost bigger than your tits?
"can you please just let me sleep for one night, or are you that sex deprived you can't go a single night without getting your dick wet?"
whatever this new side of you was, he liked it.
"aww, sounds like little princess s' mad no one's fuckin' her right. ya not gettin' fucked good, pipsqueak? haven't seen yer boy-toy around lately anyways.
"god, that's—that's none of your fucking business, fushiguro, shut up!"
"make me."
you blink.
a moment passes...and suddenly, your eyes are sharp.
ah...he might've fucked up with those two simple words.
"...you know what? i will, you annoying fuck."
catching toji off guard, you shove him back, taking advantage of him stumbling to walk inside his room as you slam the door shut behind you. a light chuckle escapes him, eyebrows raises. "so, the little kitten does have claws," he says with a grin.
his little roommate seems to have grown a pair of balls. what is she gonna do? hit him with pillows, curse him out, kick him out? pffft, if you kicked him out he would know you needed sleep, you both have been friends for too long...right?
as toji gets slightly worried he might've genuinely crossed a line (a bit too late to realize that, he realizes), you push him onto his bed, standing between his legs.
oh.
oh, he...he likes you from his angle, looking down at him with a little bit of a pout on those pretty full lips of yours as you try soooo hard to look angry and scary. but how can he be scared when his roommate, the one he's been fucking his hand for, looks so fucking cute?
curly hair a bit frizzy and messy (he's surprised you don't have your bonnet on yet), smelling like cocoa butter and that strawberry shortcake body spray that haunts him at night. and now you're in his fucking room. he'd never be able to escape it now.
fuck, every time you came close to him, he just suddenly couldn't process anything except you...he needed to get a grip.
propping himself up on his elbows, toji locks eyes with you, playing off his surprise. "what's gotten into ya, roomie? so aggressive, might have t' call shiu to come get you," he attempts to playfully poke. the tension in the room grows when you start to massage your temples, trying to calm down.
in.
out.
in.
out.
in-
"well, if lack of sleep is gettin' you all huffed up like this, i gotta couple o' ways t' tire ya out if y'need."
"oh my god, y'talk too fucking much," you grumble.
toji opens his mouth, ready to make another smart comment but he's shocked into silence when you tug your pajama pants off. there's no fucking way this is real. toji knows he has to be dreaming and knowing he'd be waking up with a wet spot in his pants if he didn't wake up soon.
and...are you wearing hello kitty boxer briefs too? god, you're such a fucking dork, it's cute and it's only making him harder in his pants.
but all of that is forgotten when you hook your fingers in the waistband of those stupid looking boxers and drag them down those pretty legs and toji gets a glimpse of your cute, pudgy tummy and...and....
fuck.
he doesn't even get a chance to think, he's so fucking hard. you're fucking half naked in his room right now and he can't tear his eyes away from how soft you look, that little patch of hair (is it shaped like a fucking heart? jesus fucking christ, you were serious about making yourself feel pretty everywhere), god, he's so fucked.
"shit. someone's eager. just couldn' wait to-"
"i'm so sick of you," you cut off, pushing him down onto the bed, crawling up his chest. you give him a look, one that he instantly understands and he smirks, giving you a nod before you continue moving until your hips hover over his face.
the smirk melts off his face when he realizes how real this is. your bare pussy is literally mere inches away from his mouth, so close he can practically taste you.
he's not gonna make it out of this alive, is he?
when you see him about to open his mouth to make another stupid comment, you move, pressing your hips down onto his face, shutting him up. "you wanna use your mouth so much, toj? i'll give you somethin' to use it on."
toji's response is just a muffled groan, his eyes fluttering a little. his hands move up to grip your thighs to steady you and also keep you on his face. he hasn't even tasted you, but shit, you smell so good.
wasting no more time, his tongue hungrily darts out, desperate to taste you. the moment he licks over your folds, he's sighing, melting into the bed. you're so soft, so sweet and he hasn't even gotten a taste from the main source. pulling you down onto his face a bit harder, toji finally swipes through your cunt and he's addicted.
"mmh, fuck," he grunts, burying his face as deep as possible. what the actual fuck are you made of, he thinks to himself. you taste so sweet, he's getting so dizzy as he starts to messily lap up all the slick dripping from your pussy. he barely pulls away from you to breathe, taking just a second to part, his hot breath fanning against the wet mess between your legs before he dives right back in, his low groans resonating against your core so nicely.
toji slurps loudly at your cunt, unable to stop himself from rolling his hips up, the friction of his sweats on his cock a sweet relief. he's so sure this is heaven, thanking whatever god there is for making you snap to this point but then you start talking.
you sigh, hips gently rocking against toji's face as your eyes open to look down your body at him. "mmn, 's better," you purr to yourself, little sweet noises of pleasure escaping you as one of your hands runs through his hair, giving him an encouraging little tug.
"should i just give you my pussy every night so you let me sleep, toj," you coo at him, a smug smile on your face. he didn't even notice his eyes slipped shut, but he opens them, flickering up to meet your lidded gaze and see the pride swirling around your eyes.
has his roommate always been like this? toji doesn't remember you being so fucking sexy like this. sure, you've always been attractive, and he's definitely had a thing for you for a while. but never in his life did he think his sweetheart of a friend would be smushing his face into her soft cunt.
his response is a little nod and an increase in his tongue's movements against your sloppy pussy. his lips move to suck right at your puffy clit, and he swears nearly cums when you gasp his name and whine, pulling him even deeper by his hair.
his train of thought is completely destroyed, he can't think of anything but you, can't feel anything but you, can't see, can't smell, can't taste anything but you.
he'd kill a man if it meant being able to taste you like this every fucking day.
"ohh, tojibaby, y'look s' pretty eating my pussy...poor thing, jus' needed something to shut you up for a bit."
scratch that, he'd kill SEVERAL men if it meant hearing you sing praises like that while you grind against his mouth, practically suffocating him with your thighs.
it's addicting, the way slick is gushing out of you each time he kisses your clit before sucking on it, coating his mouth. toji knows he looks a wreck, but he doesn't care, not when he's got you on him like this.
"d'you wanna make me cum, toj?" you ask it so teasingly, tugging his hair again and making him moan. "you're makin' out with my pussy...such a good boy for me."
those two words are his undoing, a visible shift in his energy. his eyes are sharp, and he almost looks angry as he grips your thighs even harder. "yes, fuck, yeah, mama, i wanna make you cum all over my face," he growls, tongue unrelenting when it slips back inside of your cunt, a nasty wet noise filling the air as you keen. he's fucking you with his tongue so messily, like he'll die if he stops tasting you.
good boy. you called him a good boy.
the compliment made something snap in him, the need to devour you whole the only thing on his mind. he's not just a good boy, no, he's your good boy, and the thought of being yours makes a thick bead of precum to drip out of his cock and stain his sweatpants.
he's brought back when you tug his head back to look at you, that thick tongue of his slipping out of you.
"i don't want you bringing anymore fucking women in my house, fushiguro," you warn, glaring down at him. you're serious. if you see another girl come in here at 11pm, you might actually kill this man in his sleep and not in a way he'd like
"i'm so tired of hearing their annoying moans. if you need a pussy to put your stupid dick in, just ask me, you fuckin' idiot." shit, you usually never talk like this, but toji likes this side of you. the usually sweet and kind roommate he was so used to was no where to be seen, replaced with this commanding and no-nonsense woman who knew what she wanted.
he can't even deny, this side of you is such a massive turn on.
"promise you're gonna let me fuckin' sleep n' i'll cum on your pretty mouth, fushiguro. otherwise, i'm getting up and i'll call shiu and see if he wants a taste."
oh, fuck no. no way in hell is toji letting that smug bastard see you like this, best friend or not.
he desperately nods, just wanting you to let go of his hair so he can dive back into your sweet pussy, licking his lips to taste you again.
"promise, mama, no more bringing other women, jus' you, don't need nobody else but you, y'got my word."
"that's my good boy."
once you let go of his hair, toji dives right back to the task at hand like man possessed. his lips press against your clit, kissing it with little wet smacks before sucking it into his mouth. his tongue doesn't give you a break, flicking over it rapidly. your moans, god, your moans are getting so loud and so pretty, his eyes never leaving your face as he watches you get closer and closer.
"c'mon, doll, please," he begs, a whininess in his voice as he massages your thick thighs, encouraging you to ride his face until you cream all over it. "give it t' me, give me what i wan', cum all over my face, baby girl."
feeling how you start to move your hips, a sweet little 't-toji, 'm gonna cum' falling from your lips, his hands grasp your ass as he seals his mouth over your cunt, sucking and licking desperately.
he needs it.
he needs you.
needs you so fucking bad.
feeling him mutter those words against your cunt makes you gasp and choke out his name, thighs squeezing around his head. "oh, fuck, toji, 'm cummin, baby!" your hands are both in his hair as you desperately hump against his mouth, body shaking with the force of your orgasm.
he doesn't stop, he keeps his mouth on you to make sure not a drop of your sweet cum goes to waste. he can feel it spilling out of his mouth, down his chin and neck. it's so messy, just how he likes it.
he watches you, how could he even think to take his eyes off you? you're so pretty, do you even realize how your hair got puffier and messier from your sweating, how a few of those tiny curls got stuck to your skin?
"g-god, fuck, toj, hoohmygod, your mouth 's so good, nngh!"
shit, you're pretty, so fucking pretty, what the fuck? god, you even cum pretty, toji's so fucked. why didn't he get you on his face like this sooner?
feeling your tremors start to subside, toji slows his tongue, switching to little licks and then to soft kisses against your clit, keeping you grounded as you come down from your high. the fact he didn't paint the inside of his sweatpants white is a miracle, but he knows the front is wet and stained.
when he feels you relax, toji guides you off his face and down to sit on his chest. he can't help the twinkle in his eye, grinning at you proudly. the bottom half of his face is a mess, covered in his spit and your slick. you like this look on him.
"has anyone ever told you that you've got t'most addicting pussy ever?"
you huff a laugh, urging him to move up further on the bed until his back rests against the pillows. he was so annoying, and you hated how attractive it made him. “you’re too awake for my liking," you sarcastically huff, giving him a sweet little pout that makes him feel a bit more things than he probably should.
tugging his sweatpants down, you let out a little noise of surprise.
ah.
it all makes sense now. no wonder those girls sounded like they were dying.
"toji, what the actual hell is wrong with you?!"
"don't get mad at me, ma, i didn't magically make my dick this size! i just got lucky!"
"lucky?! girl, this is a curse, how the fuck did those girls fit this thing in them?!"
"they didn't."
that makes you pause. they couldn't get him all the way inside? glancing down at his cock, heavy in your hand, as he helps to get his pants completely off, you're not surprised. but you could take it, right?
...guess you need to find out.
shifting your hips, you move to swipe his cock through your slick pussy, a smug look on your face when he sharply inhales. "i'm gettin' my revenge, pretty boy, for all the sleep you made me lose. 's late, anyways, yeah? don't we need to sleep soon?"
the head of his cock catches onto your entrance, causing you both to sigh in pleasure. this would be a stretch, but you're determined by pure spite from toji and those women keeping you up at night.
while you're teasing him, toji is a breath away from losing his mind. the sight of you taking charge, hair completely fluffy now from the humidity in the room, has his cock pulsing in your soft hand. he's so sure that you're not gonna be able to take it all in. shit, he's wondering if he should stop you, tell you he's gotta prep you first or else it's gonna hurt, but you use your free hand to grab his face, making him look at you as an evil grin breaks out on your face.
"i'm gonna put you t' sleep with my pussy. uhm, something something, call that pussy nyquil," you giggle, slipping the tip of his cock inside of your wet, tight little cunt.
melting, that's the best way toji can describe the feeling of behind inside you, even if it's just the tip. "jesus," he hisses, his hands coming up to grip your hips. you're so hot inside, your tight walls are so snug around him. there's no way this tight cunt of yours is gonna be able to fit him in, there's not fucking way.
despite that, he finds himself guiding you down onto him, trying his hardest not to buck up into you. but the sensation of your soft, gummy walls squeezing him so perfectly is making it so challenging to stay still.
"fuck, mama...shit," he groans, watching as he is sucked into your warm pussy. once you get halfway, he expects you to stop, and that's usually where they all do. he was fine with that, more than fine, because he's never been inside someone so fucking tight.
but then, you raise your hips until just the tip is inside, and with a devious little giggle, you slam your hips down, gasping when you get him in all the way. damn, you realize it was a stupid idea, the stretch making you feel almost sick, but the reaction you get out of toji is worth it.
his head falls back against the headboard, and he whimpers, eyes rolling back into his skull, his lip pulled between his teeth as he tries to relearn how to think.
“i'm gonna make you cum and ‘m gonna fuck you stupid for not letting me sleep, fushiguro.” giving yourself a bit to get used to his size, you slowly started moving, seeing what angle worked best for you.
meg the stallion, i'm gonna make you proud of me, you think with a little smirk before you steady yourself with your hands on his chest and start to bounce your hips, your cute little threat only making his cock throb inside you.
"'m gonna make you regret bein' an asshole to your pretty roommate, pretty boy."
it doesn't take long for it to get messy, for it to get so fucking sloppy and noisy. each time you bring your hips down, the room is filled with a wet smack. you've really made a mess out of him, your sticky wet coating his fat cock and his lap, thick strands of it connecting you to him with each raise of your hips before you bring them right back down.
toji can't breathe, finally tilting his head back up as his eyes are glued to where his cock slips in and out of you. you're taking him, taking all of him into your sticky cunt and, shit, he thinks he might die like this.
"fuck, fuck, mama, c'mon, don' do this t' me, relax, please, fuckin' strangling my cock, oh my god—"
he's whining, it's so cute. who knew you could get toji fushiguro, mr. tough guy, to crumble under you like this so easily? it's so wet and gushy, the sound of your thick body smacking back down on his only making his insides twist in pleasure. he can feel how fucking wet you are, dripping down his cock, down his balls, it's so unfair.
"tojiii, talk t' me," you coo at him, your sweet voice bringing him back. "don't tell me my pussy's making you dumb already, jus' started."
you did, you're literally fucking him dumb, and he doesn't know what to do or what to say, but hearing you say his name like that in-between moans as you bounce your hips up and down his throbbing shaft has his babbling in an instant.
"god, this cunt 's perfect, baby, s' fucking perfect."
“yeah? y’like my pussy, toj? like my pretty cunt creaming on you?” you roll your hips, a pretty moan leaving you when his tip nudges against that soft spot perfectly. “f-fuck, you really are big...poor thing, no one could get it in all the way? am, mh, am i the first t’ take this fat cock t’ the hilt, tojibaby?”
you lean forward, hands moving from his chest to around his neck as you roll your hips, swiveling them in ways that have him gushing precum all over the insides of your cunt. the squelches your cunt makes with each roll is so fucking sinful and so nasty.
"y-yeah, mama, she feels s' good around me, all tight and warm, milking my cock like it's made just for you."
god, you smell so good...he can still smell your perfume and the sweet blueberry scent of your leave-in. you smell so sweet and taste so sweet too, he's so fucking lucky to have you fucking him like this. toji's hands move from your hips to your ass, helping you fuck yourself on his dick, groaning your name.
"god, you're the first to take it all, y'got me so fucking deep in that sloppy lil' cunt that y'can feel me in your stomach."
you giggle between moans, pressing your forehead against his. "y'so cute, toji, such a good boy f' me, yeah? feels so much better knowin' you can just tell me if you need me to put you to sleep, right?"
he groans, nodding as his eyes flutter closed again. "y-yeah, yes, baby, feels s' much better," he admits, breathless as he starts to get close. he can feel you getting tighter, getting wetter, and he'll be damned if he cums before you do.
"aww, listen t' you," you say with a little whine, your dominant mask starting to ebb away as you start to grow weaker and weaker. it's starting to feel good, really good, to the point where you can't think either, and you don't know how much more of this you can do. "m-my pretty boy, my good boy, f-fuckin' me s...s-so good..."
the moment he picks up the whininess in your voice, toji is alert, looking into your eyes to find that the pleasure is finally catching up to you, too. "yeah? yeah, mama? she's feelin' good? fuck, 'm gonna fuckin' fill you up, baby, gotta cream this pretty pussy so deep that she feels it f' days," he grunts, mouth open as he pants against your lips.
they look so pretty, he wonders if you taste like that lip balm you always carry, if your tongue is as sweet as you are, if your plump lips are as soft as they look. the thought of them pressing against his is what breaks him, and he's so embarrassed at the noise he makes before leaning back against the pillows and planting his feet into the mattress.
"i gotta fuck you, gotta fuck you good, 'm sorry, 'm so sorry, baby, promise i'll let you sleep, promise i'll be good for ya, okay? mm, fuck, c'mon, let toji make it better, gonna kiss your cunt with my cock and make it up t' ya."
toji fucks into your hole desperately, groaning at the loud wet plaps of his hips smacking against yours. your moans, god, your moans, they're so pretty, you're so pretty. he can see your tits bouncing against the fabric of the shirt you have on, and he curses, so fucking mad he didn't have you take it off. but he doesn't care, not right now, not when he sees how gorgeous you look.
he's so fucking prideful when he sees how poofed out your hair is, bouncing with each thrust up into you. "y're so fucking pretty, c'mere."
one of his hands grabs you by the back of the head and smushes his lips against yours, hungry as he licks over them before shoving his stupidly thick tongue inside your mouth. the kiss is just as messy as the rest of you, and the pitiful little moan you give has him reeling.
"i-i'm, 'm gonna cum, toj," you whisper against his mouth, nails biting into his shoulders as you do your best to match his pace. you're gonna cum, he's gonna make you cum, you're about to cum all over his fucking dick, jesus christ.
"fuck, you're so hot, so cute, mama, my pretty girl. need ya t' cum, dolly, can y'do that for me? please, baby, cum on me, make a mess s' i can fill you up an' apologize like i promised," he rambles before kissing you again, biting your lip before running his tongue over it.
it's so close, you can taste it. it's so unfair how big his cock is, how you can feel every vein and throb of it inside of you, how you can feel his hot precum smudging all over your velvety walls.
the realization that he's inside you raw has you moaning so sweetly, and your pussy is gripping him for dear life as you dig your nails into his shoulders even more, head falling forward. "t-toji, 'm, 'm gonna—f-fuck!"
you're cumming, you're cumming on him, and it feels so fucking good. you're creaming all over his lap, and your crying and moaning his name so sweetly he feels like he's gonna pass out. "baby, babyyy, no, lemme see, lemme see you cum," he begs, the hand in your hair tilting your head back up and the view he gets has his hips stuttering inside you.
your eyes are unfocused, long lashes wet from tears as you pant and whimper for him, all for him. and when you make eye contact with him, he feels your gummy walls squeeze him so tight.
"oh, fuck, yes, mama, jus' like that. keep cummin' on me, keep goin', 'm so close, gonna cum, gonna cum in this pretty pussy s' fuckin' deep you feel it in your tummy," toji babbles before he's losing himself too, pressing your head against his chest as he fucks into you, savoring your overstimulated cries for him. "'s gonna go deep, so fuckin' deep an' i'm gonna fuckin' eat it outta you, just like y-you fuckin' deserve—!"
with a pathetic sounding groan of your name, he's giving one, two, three, four hard, deep thrusts, moaning as he pumps his thick load into you, feeling your oversensitive pussy milking him dry. "g-good boy, g'fucking boy, tojiii," you whimper, moving from his chest to pepper kisses all over his face, moaning softly as you feel his hot cum coating your walls.
his mind is so blissfully blank that he doesn't even realize he's shaking a little bit from how hard he just came. cooing happily at him, you cup his cheeks, trying to bring him back down to you. "come back t' me tojiiii, don't die on me, roomie!"
still reeling from his insanely intense orgasm, manages a little chuckle, his hand moving from your ass to under your shirt, stroking your back. "'m here, 'm here, promise...i just...shit. ya fuckin' drained me, girly. what the hell are you?"
you laugh, kissing the corner of his mouth before nestling under his chin to catch your breath. "I'm your damn friend who happens to be the roommate you have been tormenting by not letting me sleep, dumbass."
"heh. fair point."
you both stay like this for a bit, just resting a little and trying to catch your breath. except...toji's eyes feel a little heavy, and he feels himself drifting away. "there you goooo," you coo, hand running through his hair. "told ya i'd put you to sleep."
"yeah, yeah, you were right," he grumbles and opens an eye, hand coming up to pinch your cheek. "jus' a lil' nap, okay? we still gotta get you cleaned up. after all, i promised i'd clean my cum outta ya, right?"
"my god, toji, you are nasty."
"but you like ittttt."
you couldn't stop yourself from laughing because, yes, you did. you liked it a lot.
soon, the room falls quiet as toji's breathing falls into rhythm with yours, the rise and fall of his chest steady and slow. his mind is still a bit dazed, and he can't help but get a little flustered as he realizes how badly he's wrapped around your little finger. the thought is only further confirmed when he feels his heart squeeze just a bit when he notices you fell asleep on his chest.
he wraps his arms around you in a gentle embrace, huffing to himself. yeah, so what he was whipped, he finally got you in his arms, so he sees it as a win.
as sleep finally starts to creep up on him, he presses a little kiss to your forehead, leaning back against the pillows and shutting his eyes. just a little nap, and then he'll get you cleaned up and make sure you accept his apology for everything he's put you through.
...he just hopes you won't be too grumpy when you realize you fell asleep without your bonnet on.
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ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...lunar's tags : @satoruwiki @llllllllllllloser @screampied @abcdbleh @vicfuentesfangirl @sakurapeach @ohsuguru @crywolfix @naughtygobbo @aura88967 @jeanine-gt @tananaxx @tojancy @happymangosstuff
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The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao
*light novel spoilers*
I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)
And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?
POISON
She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.
And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.
I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.
And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.
One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.
So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.
Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:
She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.
Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.
It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.
And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.
They both are hypocrites.
And they both refuse to accept their feelings.
In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....
Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"
"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”
Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.
Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.
“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”
It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.
Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.
The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.
More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.
Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.
Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.
Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.
It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....
She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.
Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!
So, she got interested in poison.
Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.
And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.
Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.
But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).
Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)
Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.
~Sunshine
#maomao#kusuriya no hitorigoto#kusuriya no hitorigoto manga#jinshi#jinshi x maomao#maomao x jinshi#the apothecary diaries#the Apothecary Diaries manga#tad manga#kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers#manga#anime#spoilers#kusuriya no hitorigoto light novel#kusuriya no hitorigoto LN#the apothecary diaries anime#shoujo#shoujo couples#seinen#aashi animetalks#aashi heartfilia#mao mao#mao mao x jinshi#mao mao x reader#mao mao tad#maomao kusuriya no hitorigoto#light novel#kusuriya anime#shoujo anime#shoujo anime couples
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Trash Novel Chronicles: Get Me Out of Here || Rook Hunt
You’re isekai’d into a trashy novel and stuck as a tragic side knight character. All you want is survival, but your boss is Rook Hunt—a poetic, eccentric duke.
Now you’re caught in his chaos and, worse, you kinda don’t mind.
Series Masterlist
You’re a completely normal person. You eat normal meals at normal times, sleep the normal amount of hours (give or take a few, who needs all eight anyway?), and hold down a regular, soul-crushingly normal job. It’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills and lets you indulge in your one true love: reading web novels for five hours straight like some kind of feral literature goblin.
Your current obsession? The Lady’s Tragic Love. It’s the sort of story that you can’t put down—not because it’s good, but because it’s so excruciatingly terrible that it loops back around into comedy. The heroine has all the personality of a wet tissue but somehow manages to ruin everyone’s lives with reckless abandon. It’s almost impressive.
You rub your temples as you skim yet another chapter. “Oh my God, this woman has the moral compass of a black hole,” you mutter.
The plot makes less sense the deeper you go: the heroine starts off as the daughter of a down-on-their-luck noble family. Her father racks up an unholy amount of debt, so she’s forced to marry a viscount who—get this—is actually a nice guy. Like, genuinely kind. He agrees to marry her in name only to protect her from debt collectors, even offering to fund her hobbies.
And what does she do? Poison him. Poison him!
"Okay, maybe she's misunderstood," you think, in the kind of delusional optimism only a web novel enthusiast can muster.
Nope. She poisons him because she "can’t stand looking at his face," which is only mildly unattractive and not the ogre-like monstrosity the text implies. Also, he was literally helping her stay alive.
“Oh, sure, let’s kill the only decent male character in this hellscape. Why not?” you hiss, scrolling furiously.
After committing literal murder, the heroine sets her sights on an archduke, who is tall, handsome, and very much engaged to the so-called villainess. The villainess is stunning, kind, intelligent, and inexplicably hated by everyone because—checks notes—she’s too perfect?
At this point, you're gripping your phone so hard that it’s a miracle it doesn’t snap in half. “Why is the villainess the villain? This should be the heroine’s title! She’s practically speedrunning how to be the worst human being alive!”
But no, the heroine gets rewarded for her nonsense. The archduke doesn’t fall for her (because he has taste), but the crown prince does. The prince, apparently a sucker for chaos, marries her. Instead of being happy with her new title and riches, the heroine spends her days scheming to ruin the villainess’s life because, in her words, “How dare the archduke choose someone that isn’t me?”
You pause and reread that line. Then reread it again.
“WHAT?!” you yell so loudly that your downstairs neighbor bangs on the ceiling.
It’s a spiral of nonsense that drags you through emotional whiplash until you finish the last chapter with a migraine and a full-blown existential crisis. You stare at the screen. "Why...why did I do this to myself?"
You stumble out to your tiny balcony to clear your head, phone still in hand. The cool night air washes over you as you lean on the railing, your brain buzzing with rage and confusion.
“Why does she get a happy ending?” you grumble. “She’s a walking red flag factory! The villainess deserves to be queen, and the prince deserves a lobotomy for his taste in women!”
In your frustration, you kick the balcony railing. Unfortunately, your landlord hasn’t exactly been diligent about repairs. The rusted screws holding it in place give way with a terrifying screech.
“Oh, come on,” you say, deadpan, as the railing collapses beneath you.
You plummet ten stories down, bouncing off an awning like some kind of cartoon character before landing face-first in a suspiciously placed fruit cart.
As darkness creeps in, your final thought is not of regret, nor fear, but of pure, unfiltered pettiness:
“I hope my next life is more exciting… and I never have to read about this heroine again.”
With that, you pass out, blissfully unaware of the absurd fate that awaits you.
You wake up, groggy and disoriented, and immediately ask yourself the first logical question: Why the hell am I alive?
The last thing you remember is gravity betraying you and a suspiciously convenient fruit cart breaking your fall. But when you sit up and look around, it’s very clear you’re not in your crappy apartment anymore. For starters, this place is way too clean, smells faintly of vanilla, and—oh, is that sunlight streaming through those beautiful glass windows? Not the dim, depressing flicker of the streetlight outside your old place?
Something is very wrong.
You scramble out of the bed, which is definitely not your rickety twin-sized monstrosity held together with duct tape and misplaced hope, and start poking around. The furniture is elegant, the carpet is plush, and there’s an oil painting on the wall that practically screams, Welcome to Generic Medieval Europe™!
The realization slams into you with all the subtlety of a freight train: You’re in that garbage web novel.
You pause, frozen, your brain throwing up a million red flags at once. Your knees almost buckle. "Nope. No. Absolutely not. This is some kind of cosmic punishment," you whisper to yourself, clutching your temples.
You creep towards the ornate mirror on the other side of the room, your reflection getting clearer with every step. “Please,” you mutter, “if there’s a single merciful entity out there, don’t let me be the heroine. Or the villainess. Or, God forbid, one of the male leads.”
You finally reach the mirror, squeeze your eyes shut, then crack one open. And there you are: just some random face.
“Oh, thank God,” you exhale, slumping against the wall. You’re not the heroine. You’re not the villainess. You’re not one of the tragic walking disasters that make up the main cast. You're just… some person. A total nobody.
But just as you’re about to bust out your victory dance of mediocrity, something catches your eye. You lean closer, squinting.
Wait.
No.
NO.
You’re that nobody.
You’re the tragic commoner knight who gets blackmailed by the heroine, coerced into doing her dirty work, and ends up assassinating the villainess for her. The same commoner knight who dies in three chapters because the heroine throws them under the bus as soon as the villainess's fiancé finds out what happened.
You stagger back from the mirror like it’s cursed. “Nope. Nope. Absolutely not. I did not reincarnate into this medieval soap opera just to get unalived in the dumbest way possible,” you say, pacing the room like a lunatic.
Your character’s life flashes before your eyes: the abusive father, the crippling family loyalty, the gambling debts. This poor soul had it rough even before getting turned into the heroine’s personal murder minion. And you? You’re not about to pick up that torch.
So you grab some parchment and pen what might be the most passive-aggressive resignation letter of all time.
“To Her Highness, the Crown Princess,
Kindly do your own dirty work from now on. My father can gamble himself into oblivion. I’m out. Good luck with your reign or whatever.”
Satisfied, you sign it with an unnecessarily large flourish, slap it on the desk, and prepare to bounce.
You’re halfway down the hall when you almost walk face-first into him.
Rook Hunt, the walking embodiment of “this guy doesn’t belong in this novel but here he is anyway,” stands there with his golden hair and overly dramatic smile. He’s loud. He’s eccentric. He’s dressed like he’s about to break into a musical number about the beauty of life. Oh, and he’s also the duke whose household you served in as a knight before you quit.
“Mon ami!” he exclaims, throwing his arms wide like you’re long-lost lovers. “You’ve returned to me! What an exquisite twist of fate! Shall we celebrate the beauty of reunion?”
“No,” you say flatly. You attempt to sidestep him, but Rook doesn’t just let things go.
“You cannot leave me again! Do you not wish to resume your role as my loyal knight?”
“Absolutely not,” you snap on instinct, because why on earth would you willingly dive back into this mess? But then it hits you. Wait.
Rook isn’t part of the main plot. He’s not the crown prince, not the archduke, not the villain, and definitely not one of the doomed love interests. He’s just… there. A minor character. A colorful extra who pops up to sprinkle poetic nonsense into the plot and then wanders offstage.
Your brain kicks into overdrive. If you stick with him, you’ll be close enough to the action to keep tabs but far enough to avoid the heroine’s nonsense. Plus, salary. And minor characters like him rarely die!
Your decision solidifies. You plaster on a winning smile and nod. “Actually, on second thought, yeah. Let’s do that.”
“Magnifique!” Rook practically beams as he grabs your arm. “Come, let us bask in the splendor of returning home!”
You follow him, letting his endless stream of poetic babble wash over you. Is this the best plan? Probably not. But it beats getting murdered for a heroine who couldn’t find her moral compass with both hands and a map.
You make it back to the duke’s grand estate—because of course it’s grand. Every aristocrat in this godforsaken novel seems to have a mansion the size of a small country. Rook practically floats through the gates, his dramatic energy causing every passing servant to give him the “not again” look. You follow, still trying to process the reality of your current situation.
After an unnecessarily flowery tour of the place (you’ve been here before in this body, but you let him talk because it’s easier than interrupting), he finally stops in the courtyard. He turns to you, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“Now, mon chevalier, reclaim your rightful position as my trusted bodyguard!” he declares, flinging his arms wide as if inviting the heavens to applaud him.
You blink. “…Respectfully, sir, why do you need a bodyguard?”
He pauses, staring at you like you just asked why water is wet. Then, with an infuriatingly serene smile, he says, “Ah, but the shadows are filled with secrets, my dear knight! The beauty of life is in its mysteries, n’est-ce pas?”
You squint at him. “Okay, but that doesn’t answer the question.”
He leans in closer, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Because the wolves, mon ami. The wolves.”
You freeze. “…What wolves?”
Rook straightens up, tilting his head as if contemplating the meaning of the universe. “Ah, they are everywhere and nowhere. In the forests, in the halls, in the hearts of men. Who can say where danger truly lies?”
This man just said a whole lot of words without saying anything.
“Right,” you say slowly, pinching the bridge of your nose. “But you’re, like, ridiculously strong. I’m pretty sure you could take on any wolf—metaphorical or not—by yourself.”
“Ah, mon chevalier,” he says with a wistful sigh, placing a hand on his chest like he’s reciting a Shakespearean soliloquy. “Strength alone cannot protect one from the unexpected, the unseen, the poetry of peril!”
You stare at him, trying to figure out if this is some sort of elaborate prank. But no. This man is completely serious.
“So… wolves. Poetry of peril. Got it,” you mutter, rubbing your temples. “I’ll, uh, just… go patrol or something, I guess.”
Rook claps his hands together, beaming. “Ah, magnifique! I knew you would understand! Truly, you are a gem among knights!”
You slink off, still scratching your head. You’re 90% sure the wolves are a metaphor for absolutely nothing, but who are you to question the logic of a trash novel? At least the pay is good.
You quickly realize this trash novel is trying to trash you right back. It’s like every corner you turn, fate has decided you don’t deserve a peaceful life.
Walking through the garden to calm your nerves? Someone leaps out of the hedges with a dagger. You narrowly dodge, trip over a decorative fountain, and the attacker runs off, cackling.
Trying to enjoy the roses because you’re starting to think, “Hey, if I gotta die, at least let it be aesthetic?” Nope, arrow. Right past your ear.
By the fifth assassination attempt (some guy “accidentally” dropping a potted plant from a balcony), it clicks. The heroine must’ve decided since you’re not doing her dirty work anymore, she needs to eliminate you before you spill the beans. But, unlike her, you have brains.
So, you write a letter.
Dear Villainess and Esteemed Archduke,
I hope this letter finds you well, though considering the general chaos surrounding us, that feels optimistic.
I am writing to inform you of an unfortunate situation involving a certain someone (cough the crown princess cough) who has, shall we say, less-than-noble intentions toward your continued existence.
To clarify: she asked me to assassinate you. I know, shocking. However, as someone who values integrity, personal safety, and not being murdered by shady royalty, I’ve decided to step down from my position as her unwilling assassin.
This does mean she may hire someone else to handle the job, which is unfortunate for you but also none of my business anymore. I’m not sure how you typically handle murder plots, but I suggest taking precautions, like perhaps not smelling your roses or standing under precariously placed flower pots.
Lastly, while I am admittedly a pawn in this chaotic mess, I felt it was only fair to let you know what’s going on. I wish you both a long, unassassinated life.
Warm regards,
Your Local Retired Assassin
P.S. Please don’t kill me. I’m just the messenger.
You thought this letter would buy you peace. Instead, it bought you an invitation.
And by “invitation,” you mean you’ve been dragged into a private meeting with the villainess and the archduke, who are both sitting across from you now, looking like they’re deciding whether to thank you or strangle you.
“So,” the villainess says, her voice like ice. “You’re telling me the crown princess is plotting to kill me?”
“Uh, yes,” you say, your palms sweating. “But, like, not me anymore! I’ve retired. Permanently.”
The archduke raises an eyebrow. “Why would she want to kill us?”
You glance at the villainess. “Uh… because you exist?”
Before the villainess can stab you (she looks ready), the door swings open, and in saunters Rook.
“Ah, my friends!” he says, grinning ear to ear. “How serendipitous that we are all here. I believe I can shed some light on this matter.”
You gape as Rook launches into a detailed explanation of the heroine’s convoluted scheme—exactly what she’s planning, who she’s hiring, and even the color of the dress she’ll wear while gloating about it.
The villainess and the archduke exchange a glance, then rise, thanking Rook for his “invaluable insight” before sweeping out of the room, leaving you and Rook alone.
You turn to him, your jaw still on the floor. “How do you even know all that?”
Rook just winks at you. “Ah, mon chevalier, the shadows have ears, and I am their maestro.”
He struts out, humming a jaunty tune, leaving you sitting there, more confused than ever. At this point, you’re half-convinced Rook is either a genius or just making stuff up as he goes. And honestly? You’re too tired to figure it out.
You’re stationed at the edge of the garden, trying your best to blend into the scenery while the tea party unfolds. Rook, as usual, is the life of the gathering, passionately chatting with Vil and Epel, who looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.
You’re in your usual "bodyguard mode," which mostly consists of staring off into the distance and trying not to fall asleep. It’s peaceful—for once—until Epel casually drops a comment loud enough for even you to hear.
"Rook, you finally got them back, huh?"
Your brain screeches to a halt.
Got you back? Back? What does that mean? What is there to get back? Was there something to get back in the first place?
You barely have time to process any of this before Rook, in the most Rook way possible, interrupts with a flurry of poetic nonsense.
“Ah, young Epel, the winds of fortune have indeed graced me with their bounteous song! But let us not dwell on the past, for the present blooms before us like a radiant garden of opportunity!”
You blink. Did… did that mean anything? Epel seems to think it doesn’t, judging by the way he rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath. But you’re too busy processing the odd look on Rook’s face to care.
Because, for the first time ever, Rook looks nervous.
His usual serene confidence is still there, but there’s a hint of something else—a faint pink dusting his cheeks, an almost imperceptible shift in his tone. And why the hell is your heart fluttering at the sight?
You squint at him, trying to decode whatever is happening here. Is he… embarrassed? Flustered? Can Rook even be flustered?
Before you can spiral further into overthinking, you notice Vil’s sharp gaze cutting through the moment like a knife. His violet eyes lock onto yours, and an infuriatingly amused smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
Oh no. He knows.
Vil, of course, pretends like nothing’s happening, smoothly pouring himself another cup of tea and joining the conversation like the consummate aristocrat he is. But every so often, you catch him glancing at you with that same entertained expression, like he’s just discovered a juicy secret.
You try to shake it off, refusing to let yourself be dragged into this nonsense. But Rook’s flushed face lingers in your mind, and every time he smiles at you for the rest of the party, you feel the heat creeping up your own cheeks.
Great. Just great. Whatever this is, it’s going to haunt you for days.
It started with an uproar in the palace—a desperate, urgent call for help sent to Rook, Duke of Hunt.
"The wolves are attacking!"
You were mid-sword practice when the messenger arrived, breathless and frantic. He handed the summons to Rook, who took the parchment with an amused smile.
"Wolves, you say?" he mused, tapping his chin dramatically.
"Yes, my lord!" The messenger practically collapsed from the effort of delivering the message. "They’ve breached the outer gardens, and the prince and heroine request your immediate assistance!"
Rook looked at you, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Ah, mon chevalier, do you recall what I told you once about wolves?"
You blinked, frowning. "You mean the thing about being surrounded by wolves one day? I thought you were joking."
Rook’s grin widened. "Oh, I never jest about wolves."
You opened your mouth to demand clarification, but Rook waved the parchment dismissively. "Alas, I must decline."
The messenger froze. "W-What? But…you’re the Duke of Hunt! The greatest tracker and marksman in the kingdom! Without you, the palace is doomed!"
Rook leaned forward conspiratorially. "Tell me, mon ami, what makes you think I’d risk life and limb for the likes of the heroine and her precious prince?"
The messenger stammered. "B-But—"
Rook held up a hand, silencing him. "No, no. I simply cannot. My schedule is far too packed. Why, just this morning, I promised my chevalier here that I’d help reorganize their weapons rack." He turned to you with a wink. "Isn’t that right?"
You rolled your eyes but nodded. "Yep. Super busy."
The messenger left, looking utterly defeated. You figured that was the end of it.
It wasn’t.
Over the next two hours, messengers kept arriving, each more desperate than the last. Rook refused them all with increasing flamboyance.
One messenger was sent away with, "Alas, the stars are not in alignment for such a hunt!"
Another was dismissed with, "The winds whisper that this is not my destiny today."
Finally, a personal plea came from the heroine herself. She barged into the estate, dramatically throwing herself at Rook’s feet.
"Oh, noble Duke!" she wailed. "You are the only one who can save us! Please, I beg of you!"
Rook tilted his head, pretending to think it over. Then he glanced at you, his expression suddenly sharp beneath the veneer of cheer.
"And what of my chevalier?" he asked.
The heroine frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You’ve made quite a nuisance of yourself lately," Rook said lightly, though there was an edge to his voice. "Why, only yesterday, you sent someone to ambush them in the gardens, did you not?"
Her face paled.
"I might reconsider," Rook said, his tone taking on a singsong quality, "if you promise to leave them alone from now on."
There was a long, tense pause. The heroine’s expression flickered between rage and fear before she finally forced a smile. "Very well. I promise."
"Splendid!" Rook clapped his hands and stood. "To the hunt, then!"
You stood there in stunned silence as he walked out the door, bow in hand. When he turned back to flash you a grin, you couldn’t help but mutter, "What the hell just happened?"
Rook’s laugh echoed through the halls, and you were left wondering yet again if you’d ever fully understand this ridiculous man.
It’s payday, baby.
You’ve never been more excited to hold a pouch of jingling coins in your life. Your day off couldn’t have come at a better time, and you’ve already decided to treat yourself. No assassination attempts, no cryptic poetry, no Rook yammering about beauty—just you, the market, and sweet, sweet retail therapy.
After wandering for a while, you stumble upon a fruit stall, and your eyes light up. The produce is incredible—vividly colored, juicy, and nothing like the waxy, suspiciously glossy stuff you’d get in your original world. You don’t even know what half these fruits are, but they smell amazing, and you’re buying them all.
As you carry your haul back to the manor, an idea hits you like a freight train. You’ve been craving dessert—specifically, something you can’t get in medieval Europe. Something simple, sweet, and utterly anachronistic.
And that’s how you end up in the kitchen, surrounded by fresh fruit, flour, sugar, and whatever else you’ve managed to scrounge up. You’re determined to make crêpes. Yes, you know they weren’t invented yet, but the cooks don’t even seem to know what a waffle is, so they’re not going to stop you.
It takes a bit of trial and error—because, shocker, medieval kitchens are not equipped for finesse—but eventually, you’ve got a plate of soft, golden crêpes filled with fresh fruit and drizzled with honey. It’s so beautiful it almost brings a tear to your eye.
You’re mid-bite, mentally congratulating yourself, when Rook materializes out of nowhere like some kind of dessert-seeking missile.
“Mon chevalier! What marvel have you crafted here in this humble kitchen? The scent alone rivals the sweetest perfume!”
You freeze. This is fine. He’s just curious. There’s no reason to panic. Subconsciously, you scoop up a bite on your fork and offer it to him, your body on autopilot.
Rook doesn’t hesitate, leaning in and accepting the bite with the elegance of a prince at court. “Magnifique! Truly, you have woven magic into this creation, mon cher!”
You relax slightly, pride swelling at the compliment—until he takes your hand and licks a stray drop of honey from your finger.
Your brain short-circuits.
Before you can even form a coherent thought, Rook grins at you with that infuriatingly charming smile of his, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your cheek.
“You are as talented in the kitchen as you are with a blade,” he says, his voice warm and soft, as if he hasn’t just dismantled your sanity.
And then he’s gone, striding out of the kitchen with his usual jaunty step, leaving you standing there like an idiot, replaying the sensation of his lips on your cheek and his tongue on your finger.
You slowly sink to the floor, crêpe in hand, trying to process what just happened.
“Why,” you mutter to yourself, taking another bite of your crêpe for courage, “does this keep happening to me?”
Life had been…dare you say it, pleasant recently. No assassination attempts, no tea parties and no surprise arrows whizzing by your head. You were almost convinced this world might not be so bad after all.
But like clockwork, the plot reared its ugly head.
You were outside, basking in the rare serenity of a quiet afternoon, when the shouting began. You knew the voice instantly. It was grating, furious, and way too familiar.
Your abusive father—the original you’s deadbeat excuse for a parent—had somehow crawled out of the woodwork.
“You useless brat!” he snarled, stomping toward you. “How dare you stop sending money? Do you think you’re too good for your family now?!”
Oh, for the love of—
You crossed your arms, already done with the theatrics. “First of all, family implies mutual care and respect, neither of which you’ve ever provided. Secondly, kiss my ass.”
The man’s face turned a deep shade of purple, veins bulging in his forehead. He raised his hand, and you didn’t flinch. You weren’t scared of him. You were just irritated that he had the audacity to show up and ruin your vibe.
But before his hand could even swing down, an arrow whizzed past, slicing through the air with deadly precision. It nicked his cheek, leaving a shallow cut, and he yelped like a scolded dog.
You turned, and there he was.
Rook.
But this wasn’t the poetic, flowery Rook who praised sunsets and waxed lyrical about everything under the sun. No, this was Duke Hunt. His bow was clenched tightly in one hand, his expression colder than you’d ever seen. His eyes locked onto your father, sharp and unyielding, and for the first time, you truly understood why people called him a hunter.
Your father stumbled back, clutching his cheek. “Y-you’ll regret this! I’ll get my revenge!” he spat, turning tail and running like the two-bit villain he was.
You didn’t even watch him go. You were too busy staring at Rook, your heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the fact that, dammit, he looked good like this.
You silently scolded yourself. Really? Now? This is when you’re going to have a revelation about your feelings? Pull it together.
Rook’s gaze softened as he looked at you, and without a word, he closed the distance between you. Before you could process it, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a firm, steady embrace.
You stiffened for a moment, but then it hit you—you were shaken. You hadn’t realized it until now, but the encounter had left your hands trembling. And Rook…he didn’t say a word. He just held you, radiating warmth and reassurance, as if he knew exactly what you needed.
Slowly, you relaxed, leaning into him, letting the tension bleed out of your body. For once, there were no witty remarks, no poetic musings, no cryptic riddles. Just Rook, steady and solid, and the quiet comfort of his presence.
You closed your eyes, letting out a shaky breath. Maybe life here wasn’t so bad after all.
It was the hunting competition trope—the bread and butter of every third-rate villainess novel ever written. Noblemen rode out in droves to massacre innocent wildlife in the name of prestige, while the women gathered on the sidelines to swoon over who could kill the most majestic creature.
Normally, you'd find this whole affair ridiculous, but today? Today, it was a strategic opportunity.
Rook and you had cooked up a plan. After bagging his game, Rook would publicly gift it to the villainess, cementing the stance of his household against the heroine. A subtle yet unmistakable message to everyone present: this duke’s house wasn’t here to play politics; it was drawing battle lines.
Rook was, predictably, ecstatic about it all. “Ah, mon chevalier, what a splendid opportunity to honor beauty and justice with the art of the hunt!” he proclaimed, twirling dramatically as he readied his bow.
What you didn’t anticipate was his strange fixation on a handkerchief before he left.
Throughout the day, noblewomen approached Rook, each one batting their lashes and holding out dainty, embroidered handkerchiefs. It was practically a parade of desperate peahens.
“Oh, Lord Hunt, a token for luck!” cooed one particularly persistent lady, pushing her frilly kerchief toward him.
Rook clasped his hands to his chest with exaggerated reverence. “Ah, mademoiselle, your thoughtfulness moves me beyond words, but alas, I cannot accept. To carry such a treasure into the wild would be to risk its loss, and I could never bear such tragedy!”
Another woman attempted to loop her kerchief around his wrist directly. Rook gracefully dodged, as though she were offering him a live snake. “My dear lady, your artistry is unparalleled, but the only adornment fit for this hunt is the pure, untainted spirit of nature herself!”
By the third rejection, you were practically biting your tongue to keep from laughing.
But then came the curveball.
“Ah,” Rook sighed as he approached you. “If only I had a handkerchief imbued with sincerity. A simple, honest token to guide my aim and steady my heart!”
You blinked at him. “What, like…this?” You pulled out your completely ordinary, unembellished handkerchief and held it out.
Rook’s eyes lit up as though you’d just handed him the Holy Grail. “Mon chevalier! How perfect! How divine! This humble square of cloth shall be my guiding light!”
Before you could protest, he tied it around his arm with a flourish and rode off, looking like he was ready to star in his own personal opera.
From his place in the pavilion, Vil Schoenheit took a slow, deliberate sip of his tea, his sharp eyes locking onto yours with a glint of pure amusement. The smirk tugging at his lips seemed to say, Oh, I know exactly what’s going on.
Meanwhile, Epel squinted between you and Rook, his expression shifting rapidly as though he’d just cracked the secret to immortality. He whispered something to Vil, who nearly choked on his tea before regaining his composure.
What the hell is going on? you thought, baffled.
Fast forward to now, the present, where the plan was supposed to culminate with Rook triumphantly presenting his prize to the villainess. Simple, elegant, strategic.
So why, why, was Rook standing in front of you holding a literal griffin?
“Uh, Rook,” you whispered through gritted teeth. “What are you doing? This is supposed to go to the villainess.”
But Rook was having none of it.
“Ah, my loyal chevalier,” he declared loudly, drawing the attention of every noble in the vicinity. “It is only fitting that such a prize goes to the one who inspires my steadfastness and resolve!”
Your jaw dropped. “Rook. No.”
He turned his radiant smile on you, looking like a proud schoolboy showing off a crayon drawing to his teacher. “Yes!”
The gathered nobles erupted into murmurs, and you could already feel the weight of every single judgmental stare. This was not part of the plan. But despite your internal screaming, a small, annoying part of you couldn’t help but feel…flattered. This was a duke, and you were just a knight. A very confused, very underqualified knight, sure, but still.
Vil, still seated with his ever-present cup of tea, took another long, pointed sip, his eyes glimmering with amusement.
This was the drama he’d signed up for.
The hallway leading back to the room where Vil, Rook, and Epel were sitting felt oddly silent, the muffled voices of their conversation barely filtering through the door. You weren’t one to eavesdrop—but when you heard your name, well, curiosity got the better of you.
"Just confess already," Epel was saying, his tone exasperated. "We’ve all seen the way you look at them."
Vil chimed in, his voice tinged with amusement. "Epel is right for once, Rook. Love is about timing, and yours is abysmal."
"But love is an art, mon ami," Rook replied, his tone unusually hesitant. "It cannot be rushed. It must unfold naturally, like the petals of a flower in spring."
"Okay," Vil drawled, clearly unimpressed. "But what happens when someone else plucks your ‘flower’? Say, the gardener they’ve been spending so much time with?"
The silence that followed was deafening. You leaned closer, your heart pounding, hoping—no, needing—to hear Rook’s response.
Instead, you heard nothing.
The stillness stretched unbearably until you couldn’t take it anymore. You shoved the door open, startling all three occupants. "What are you talking about?"
Vil raised an eyebrow, the picture of nonchalance, though the corners of his mouth twitched with mischief. "Perfect timing, as always. I’ll leave you two to sort this out."
He grabbed a very reluctant Epel by the collar and dragged him toward the door. "Wait, I wanna see what happens!" Epel protested, but Vil shut the door behind them with a decisive click.
Which left you and Rook alone.
You crossed your arms, leveling him with a look that you hoped masked the frantic hammering of your heart. "So…what’s this about a confession?"
Rook’s usual composure faltered. For once, the poetic, perpetually self-assured Rook you knew looked…unsure. Vulnerable. His hands fidgeted with the hem of his gloves, and he avoided your gaze, staring instead at the floor.
"Rook," you said softly, stepping closer. "Please, just tell me what’s going on. I need to know."
He finally looked up, and the raw emotion in his eyes was enough to steal your breath.
"Mon chevalier," he began, his voice low and trembling, "I have loved you from the start. At first, it was the camaraderie of equals, a kindred spirit I admired. But when you returned from the heroine’s side, defying expectations and staying true to yourself…you captured my heart completely."
You blinked, stunned. "Rook, I—"
He continued, the words spilling out as though he’d been holding them back for far too long. "You never treated me like I was strange. You accepted me as I am, even when others mocked my passions or dismissed my eccentricities. I never truly needed a bodyguard. I just needed you. Near me. Always."
His voice broke slightly on the last word, and you felt your resolve crumble.
You sighed, but it wasn’t from exasperation. It was the sound of relief, of something clicking into place. "Next time," you said, stepping even closer, "just tell me your feelings directly. It’ll save us both a lot of trouble."
Before he could respond, you reached up and pulled him into a kiss.
It was everything a first kiss should be—long, searing, passionate. His arms wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you flush against him as though he never wanted to let go. You melted into him, your hands sliding up to tangle in his hair, and for a moment, the world outside that kiss ceased to exist.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless. Rook’s lips quirked into a smile as he whispered, "Your lips are the sweetest arrow, mon amour, and they have pierced my heart beyond repair."
You burst into laughter, burying your face in the crook of his neck to muffle the sound. "Gods, Rook, only you could ruin a moment like this with something so cheesy."
He chuckled softly, his arms still secure around you.
And as you stood there in his embrace, you couldn’t help but think that this ridiculous, trashy novel world was the best thing that had ever happened to you.
The parlor was warm with the golden light of afternoon sun filtering through the windows, but the atmosphere buzzed with anticipation. You stood near Rook, his arm casually draped across the back of your chair, as Vil and Epel looked at you expectantly.
“Well?” Vil prompted, raising a perfectly arched brow.
You glanced at Rook, who smiled encouragingly, as if to say, go ahead. Clearing your throat, you announced, “We’re…together.”
Vil sighed dramatically, setting down his teacup with a soft clink. “Finally. I was starting to think I’d have to intervene.”
Epel, on the other hand, froze mid-sip of his cider. Slowly, he set the glass down, stood, and walked over to you. His expression was a mix of grief and dread, like someone had just informed him of some terrible, life-altering news.
He placed both hands firmly on your shoulders and looked you dead in the eyes. “Good luck,” he said, solemn as a funeral bell. “This is a life sentence, y’know.”
Rook chuckled, clearly amused. “Mon cher Epel, you wound me! Surely being with moi is more of a treasure than a trial?”
Epel turned to him, unimpressed. “Treasure? You follow people for fun. You recite poetry to wild animals. You can’t even eat pie without analyzing its existential meaning. I mean, who does that?”
You were already laughing, shaking your head as you patted Epel’s hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Epel. This is a sentence I’m more than happy to serve.”
Vil smirked behind his tea, watching the scene unfold with obvious amusement. “Frankly, I’m just relieved we won’t have to endure any more of his tragic sighs every time you left a room.”
Rook clasped a hand to his heart in mock offense. “Oh, Vil! My sighs are poetry incarnate!”
Vil didn’t even blink. “Your sighs are the sound of unspoken melodrama. Spare me.”
Epel plopped back into his seat with a long groan, running a hand through his hair. “Anyway, I guess congratulations or whatever. At least now we can all stop pretending we don’t notice him staring at you like some love-struck puppy.”
“That’s rich,” you shot back, grinning. “You’re the one who looks like your pet rat just died every time we get close.”
Epel huffed. “I’m just saying! Now you gotta deal with him being even more poetic! And clingy! You thought the prince and heroine were bad? Wait till you see Rook when he’s in love. You’re doomed.”
At the mention of the prince and heroine, Vil made an exaggerated sound of disgust. “Speaking of those two… Honestly, has anyone ever been so painfully predictable? The prince has all the charm of wet cardboard, and the heroine—don’t even get me started on her hair ribbons.”
“Ah, the heroine,” Rook sighed wistfully, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Always so delightfully transparent. Her schemes are like open windows to her soul.”
You snorted. “If by soul, you mean her desperate attempts to turn everything into a sob story, then yeah, sure.”
Epel leaned forward, grinning. “Did you see her crying at the hunt competition? Like, girl, it’s a competition. What did you think would happen? That the griffin would apologize and hand itself over?”
Vil smirked, tapping a manicured finger against his chin. “Or how about the prince declaring his ‘eternal devotion’ to her at the banquet last week? I nearly choked on my wine.”
Rook chuckled, turning to you with a soft smile that was far more genuine than his usual theatrics. “Ah, but let us not waste all our words on such trivialities. This moment, mon amour, is one of joy.”
You leaned into him, your laughter subsiding into a contented smile. His arm slipped around your shoulders, holding you close as Vil and Epel continued their playful bickering in the background.
For the first time since you’d been thrown into this absurd world, you felt completely at ease. If this was the result of being trapped in a trash novel, then so be it. You were exactly where you wanted to be.
Trash Novel Masterlist
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#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#rook hunt x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt#rook x you#rook hunt x you#rook#trash novel chronicles
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I woke up feeling ✨frisky✨ today.
So anyways here's how I think it would go down in the scenario where you're dating The Wanderer but he's unfortunately NOT very touchy and rather distant at times.
Yet you can't help but feel so horny for him despite your desire to not push his boundaries. And he eventually figures this out.
💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍
Wanderer was a good boyfriend. He really was.
He took you on little dates often. Sometimes to a cafe where he'd often make little remarks about your sweet tooth but would let you order an entire table of desserts if that's what you wanted (he never ate anything himself but would often just get coffee or tea or even strong liquor while he watched you eat), other times you two would go on walks or have little nights in together with lots of playful banter and hobby indulging.
He really seemed to come alive while you were alone with him. But in public Wanderer would practically become your shadow. Always behind you but never saying a thing unless asked. At first you thought he was just shy but after a while it became apparent in his lack of anything much besides hand holding and quick hugs that he really just wasn't all that tender of a man.
He didn't care about making friends or even appearing friendly.
He just liked you.
And you had come to the belief in your mind that if you didn't exist, he probably would let himself become an urban legend in Sumeru.
You could just hear the stories too.
Like "they say if you're outside alone for too long past twilight, and the streets are empty, you'll see a mysterious man wearing a big hat watching you from the shadows." They'd probably call him the hat man or something.
And while this definitely wouldn't bother others much, Wanderer's borderline lack of desire would often be torture for you.
You were always such a cuddly woman. You liked hugs and kisses and just getting to snuggle those you loved to near death.
And even though he would never stop you, sometimes you could almost intuitively feel your boyfriend mentally forcing himself to get comfortable with you suddenly wrapping your arms around him or kissing his neck from behind as you tried to climb onto his back.
Because obviously he loved you.
But he just couldn't ever really match your enthusiasm for certain intimate acts.
Wanderer was a solitary man.
Just being in a relationship probably felt strange for him.
And so you decided to back off after a while. You didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with you and since he usually went above and beyond to act as a protector and almost a complete provider for you (at least these days after you moved in together), you decided to be fair and at least let him have his personal space outside of your bedroom.
You still got your snuggles at night, so you could cope.
That's what you told yourself.
However after a few months you began to feel oddly drained and unmotivated. You were always tired.
You didn't really feel like going out much anymore and would just stay in bed for most of the day.
Wanderer immediately noticed this shift in demeanor (probably before you even did) and often asked you directly if you were ill or if he was making you unhappy. You would always assure him it wasn't anything he did and that you weren't sure why this was happening to you (you really weren't) and finally one day while out with other friends, you're given a solution to your growing depression.
Your friend remarked that it sounded like you just needed to spend some time with yourself. And by this she meant that you should masturbate.
You felt a little embarrassed by the topic at first. You hadn't really explored that area of yourself since you were younger and puberty hormones made you curious like any other normal boy or girl.
Yet your friend swore on it and said that you would feel a thousand times better afterwards. You even went with her to a small shop hidden away in Port Ormos to buy a toy for yourself that she claimed would change your life.
After that it was just about getting to know yourself and well... getting off.
The first part wasn't that hard.
You waited until Wanderer left the house for a bit to do whatever it was he did during his long periods of being gone, and then found a relaxing position for yourself on the bed and got to work.
The toy you had gotten was just a dildo at first glance but according to your friend, some researchers had gone above and beyond for the girlies of Teyvat and incorporated bits of electro crystals into the final design in a safe and rather enjoyable manner.
In other words this thing would vibrate.
You held the newly purchased pink vibrator toy in your hand and stared at it for a bit before finally using your own saliva to lubricate the tip and sliding it into your slit carefully. Once inside you pressed a button at the base and suddenly you felt like every nerve in your body was brought to life. You cried out as the toy almost instantly brought you to orgasm. Your first orgasm technically.
It took some actual effort to move your hand after that and pump the thing in and out of your now aching cunt.
It felt absolutely... perfect.
You would do this for an hour or so and only by the time dusk arrived and you grew nervous about Wanderer accidentally finding out what you were doing, would you quickly put your toy away and clean up. You hurriedly stripped the bed, tossing the sheets into the basket reserved for dirty linen in the bathroom and then climbing into the bath yourself.
You would have just finished showering and would be attempting to put new sheets on the bed by the time Wanderer came back.
And of course he was immediately suspicious of your good mood.
He wasn't upset though. He always did secretly find your smile to be very cute looking. But something about it just seemed... different today.
He waited until you went into the kitchen for something to eat and then began to analyze the place. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But you were displaying guilty body language.
And worst of all you STILL weren't trying to hug him.
Wanderer had never wanted to admit it but he had found your desire to always touch him rather sweet. And then one day you had just... stopped.
You grew depressed.
You didn't want to touch him at all practically.
Had he done something wrong?
Wanderer knew he wasn't the affectionate or romantic type really. But he knew that it was his duty in a relationship with a woman to care for her and make sure she's safe and that her needs are met.
He thought he had done a pretty good job at that at least.
And then suddenly you had seemed like you found his very presence... repulsive.
And to make matters worse now, he had discovered that for some reason, you had changed the bedding and took a shower at a strange hour.
It seemed to click in his head then.
You had cheated on him hadn't you?
Wanderer couldn't even look at you after that. He had remembered what Nahida said once about learning an entire situation before reacting and her words alone were what kept him from turning you into a missing persons case that night.
How DARE you throw away your relationship with him, how dare you just step on his love for you and seek out another?
What had he done to deserve such an unfaithful and manipulative woman in his life?
You had tried to hug him to sleep again that night but Wanderer just turned over and ignored you.
He could practically feel your heartbreak at his silent rejection but you said nothing. You just went to sleep as you normally did while Wanderer merely stared at a wall all night.
Forming a plan on how he would catch you in the act of cheating tomorrow and then no one would blame him for exacting vengeance in the situation. Because he would let it be known that it had been you who took his care for you for granted.
However the day would actually play out VERY differently than what Wanderer imagined.
That afternoon he returned to the house you two shared and effortlessly got inside without making a single noise or leaving any evidence whatsoever of his entry. He was in his element a little here as he hid just outside of the bedroom door and waited for the right moment to catch you and whoever you were with, Wanderer could practically make himself invisible if he wanted and he could probably make even the most elite fatui spy weep as he made them look new.
So you not hearing him quickly slip into the bedroom as you made love to yourself was definitely expected.
But what he actually saw you doing was what shocked him.
There you were on the bed you two shared, on your back with your legs spread wide as a phallic shaped toy brought you to orgasm right before Wanderer's eyes.
It took him a few seconds to actually believe what he was witnessing. And yet he couldn't bring himself to look away.
You made the most interesting expressions. Your body would tense and shiver in ways that bordered on downright enticing. Your voice sounded so uncharacteristically feminine and soft as you would moan and squeal as you thrusted the toy in and out of your pussy.
Wanderer didn't know what to say or how to move at that point.
However several things finally became clear to him, apparently you were pent up. and this was what had made you eventually become withdrawn and depressed.
How you got the idea to do this was beyond him.
He knew he shouldn't be watching you do this. He hadn't been invited and if anything he was the reason you were doing this at all.
He had left you unsatisfied. He had fallen short of making you completely happy with him as a boyfriend.
And this gnawed at his mind more than he cared to admit.
Why didn't you even BOTHER to ask him to help you?
Did he make you feel like he would react poorly?
Did you just...not find him... attractive?
Wanderer suddenly felt a familiar sense of failure deep in his soul.
He hated it.
But damnit, he couldn't stand the idea of you wanting something and getting it some other way besides him.
He could make you scream like that too if you had just asked nicely.
Or maybe begged a little.
A small smirk forms on Wanderer's face as he suddenly feels himself actually getting aroused at the idea.
That's when he makes a decision, fuck it.
You were so desperate to be touched that you were shoving a piece of silicone into yourself. It was pitiful.
He would show you so much better.
After all, wasn't this something a good boyfriend did anyway?
You nearly faint as you see Wanderer suddenly appear beside the bed.
He made no sound whatsoever.
"Wanderer? Oh my god!" You immediately try to sit up but Wanderer stops you by suddenly leaning down and smashing his lips against yours.
You let a small surprised gasp as you feel your tongues intertwine and his hand pull on the toy still buried inside of you. He pulls it almost completely out before suddenly shoving it back in as far as it can go.
You squeal with delight and Wanderer quickly swallows your soft moans and whimpers as he continues to kiss you while now pumping your vibrator in and out of your pussy. His fingers find the button as well, your legs shake as Wanderer fucks you with the toy.
He finally gives you a chance to catch your breath as he increases the speed of the vibrator too.
"oh Wanderer! Yes please right there..!" You mewl.
He grins mischievously
"feeling good? Heh, you look so cute like this I hope you know. I might just want to keep you like this from now on ~" he purred.
He moves to get in front of you and lifts one of your knees over his shoulder as he continues to get you off. The way he twists and pumps the vibrator makes your breath hitch and your body tremble. However at some point he tries angling it and now you feel yourself starting to come undone.
"please there! Ah! More~ more please ~ Wanderer ~"
You feel your lower body tightening up as he continues to stir up your insides. You wanted to adjust yourself a little but you couldn't. He held onto you in a way that forced you to keep your legs wide open for him and even as tears form in your eyes and you feel your toes curling and uncurling as a powerful orgasm rakes through you, Wanderer still just watches you with such intense eyes as if your every sound and movement was being noted in his mind.
He doesn't let go of you after but slowly he does pull the vibrator out of your still aching cunt. You watch with wide eyes as he brings the toy to his lips and begins to lick your juices from it. He meets your gaze as he speaks in a low and seductive tone.
"you taste so nice Y/N. I've never had anything like it before ~ mind if I sample a little more?~" he asks as he suddenly discards the vibrator to the side and before you can even process what he's asking, grabs your other leg and pulls it over his other shoulder.
You gasp and feel yourself at a loss for words as Wanderer suddenly buries his face against your pussy and begins to fuck you with his tongue almost roughly. You whine and moan as he practically lifts you off the mattress and becomes a man with one goal in mind.
Your fingers dig into the bedding when he finally gives some attention to your clit. His tongue encircled the tiny bud and teasing it lovingly as he kept you firmly against him no matter how much you cried out and tried to wiggle your hips for some relief. Wanderer realized this was a sensitive spot and kept stimulating it and because of this you felt your body go slack finally. Accepting the pleasure assault on your delicate nub.
"Wanderer your tongue ~ feels so good ~" you moan softly as you feel your body reaching another climax quickly.
You feel him give your clit a small yet rather rough suck then. Causing a small cry to escape your lips as you feel your pussy clench. You couldn't handle this for much longer...it feels so good...
Wanderer keeps going.
You squeeze your thighs around his head as he keeps his hands on your knees and locks you in place. He keeps his pace until eventually you feel your insides flutter with the relief of climax once again. Eagerly he shoves his tongue in your hole and begins to lap up your release. You still can't move and he won't let you go. He practically cleans you with his tongue before making eye contact with you again and giving you a rather hungry look.
You barely have time to open your mouth before he's trying to make you cum again.
Why did you ever doubt that he'd be interested in pleasing you like this?
He'd make you regret ever believing that.
#genshin impact#wanderer#smut#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#genshin wanderer#wanderer x female reader#wanderer smut#wanderer x reader#scaramouche x reader#scara x reader#scaramouche smut#genshin scara#scaramouche#scara
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"You like that?"
Inspired by Lottie getting chocked in the new teaser...don't judge me.
Contains: transfem Lottie, gn reader
The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes inside the cabin's attic, muffled sounds and moans coming from both of you as you move against your lover. Lottie, underneath you, skin darkening around the cheeks and sweat trailing down her temple moans, sighs and whimpers as you ride her to her well deserved little death.
Ever since the crash, hell, maybe even before it, Lottie has been very open and lovely with you. At first you though that she was just begin nice to you, since you were new on the team, but after a while, you two became friends. As much as you could be friends with her anyways. You found out she was a very busy woman, and even if she did sometimes asked you to join her and the rest of the team -you were too shy at the time to fully loose up- you never found the time to develop your friendship more than the three hours a day during practice.
But something changed after the crash. Whether it was her need to be close to someone or a sincere interest over you, you and Lottie became close. Closer than ever, actually, sometimes attracting the envious eyes of your other teammates.
Both of you bonded over your hobbies, music and movies, trivia -a thing that you found Lottie liked to talk about,a lot- and books. And through the wilderness you had started to rely on each other so much, that with time, your affections turned into lingering touches and shy looks. You two became lovers into the chaos that was the aftermath of the crash, two pillars for one another. It was a cold November evening when you two kissed for the first time. The wind was strong against the cabin's outer walls, snow pressing against the window and ice forming at it's base. You had spent that afternoon in Lottie's embrace, fighting the cold biting at your skin. Everyone was asleep by the fire, cuddled up together, but neither you not Lottie slept. She had her body pressed against yours, gently lulling you to sleep by warming you. When your eyes begun to close, she snuggled her nose near yours, without even thinking about it, and before long, you threw your arms at her neck and kissed her tenderly.
When the air between you two finally grew thick with need, you couldn't keep you hands to yourself anymore, and neither could she.
You had noticed for a while how she looked at you with a different light in her eyes. How she lingered on your curves for a bit too long, how the flesh of her cheeks darkned when you were near her, how she became all fidgety and shy when you talked to her. It has always been clear -at least to everyone else beside you two- that there was something between you and Lottie.
"Hey..." she came to you one afternoon, when the heat of sunrays melted the snow on the window. "Lottie? What is it?" you were shoveling the snow off of the door at the best of your abilities, teeth pressed tightly. Lottie on the other hand didn't seem too affected by the cold, but that maybe was because she had been inside up until this point. "I wanted to tell you... that I really enjoy your company" she seemed fidgety and uncharacteristically shy, a side of her character that only surfaced while she was with you. "Oh...I really like your company too, Lot". You got back to shoveling away, but she remained at your side. "I meaan... I really like your company. I like you. And we kissed. So..." the way those words were pronounced and the faint red on her cheeks made you realize what the subtex really was.
She rubbed her thighs over and over again, trying to make her bulge less noticeable but failing miserably to do so.
"So...could we, you know..." her voice dropped in the last syllable, vocal chords barely holding on the sound in her throat. She looked so cute, so beautiful with the reflection of the snow in her eyes. And how could you say no to her?
So here you are: in the attic, with your hands on Lottie's throat while bouncing on her dick. The cold is seeping in from the outside and affecting your lovemaking, but the heat your bodies produce is enough to warm both of you. Lottie sits naked under you, a blanket between her and the floor. She had the thoughtfulness of making a little "nest" for you two to be comfortable. The others have her a weird look when she asked for more blankets and pillows, but ignore what they would be needed for. The sound of humping above their heads is enough to make them guess, you think.
"Fuck...oh baby, fuck..." Lottie's eyes roll back, her hands gripping at your hips and shaking. She feels weak underneath you, strenght leaving her everytime she sinks back inside. "Please...please, slow down a moment, or I am going to..." her pleas fall on deaf ears when your hips fall back repeatedly on her own's, even doubling your efforts and moving faster and faster, making her exhale every breath from her lungs. She can't help but be estatich when you take her faster, almost delirious; maybe she did hope you were not going to listen to her.
She can already feel herself bursting, skin tingling and brain empty. Her please and whimpers get erratic, exhaling so loudly you're sure someone knows what you two are up to.
"Lottie! Shut up!" you say, kneeling over her body so that you are face to face with her. Without even thinking about it, you place your hands at either side of her neck, lightly pressing on her throat. "Just-! Be quiet! The others might-" you quickly shut up when you see the look on Lottie's face: her blush has spreaded on her shoulders, her eyes are humid and she looks at you with such adoration and eagerness that your heart hurts.
Something inside of you suggests what that look means, and just to try, or maybe to tease and torture her, you clench down on her cock while tightening your grip on her neck. You watch as a long and loud whine escapes her throat, eyes rolling back and hips chasing you upwards, impaling you on her length and making you fall over her, loosening your grip over her.
"So...you like that..." Lottie just whines and shudders, protesting the lack of movement on your part. "Yeah? Don't worry baby..." you roll your hips downward, making Lottie moan loudly, a bead of precum falling from your entrance on her crotch, "I am going to give you the time of your life".
#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets x you#lottie matthews x you#lottie matthews x reader#smut oneshot
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[3:47 PM] Sakusa Kiyoomi
Writing side smut stories is way easier - trying hard to break out of this writer's block for the two ongoing stories.
Warning: smut, Omi is a virgin; on an Omi rush
.
Kiyoomi was not only an extreme germophobe but also an extreme rule follower.
When he injured his right wrist from a terrible fall after a last-second spike, it resulted in a fracture that required his wrist to be put in a cast.
“You need to refrain from all activities, even cleaning. You’ve put too much stress on your body and need to rest,” his primary provider instructed, aware of his extreme cleaning hobby.
He was ordered off the roster for the next six weeks before his next X-Ray appointment.
His day couldn’t get worse…
Until he got home and saw an unfamiliar face in his home.
“Who the fuck are you?”
She cocked her head and raised a brow, “I am your temporary cook and cleaner, Mr. Sakusa.” She reminded him that his cook and cleaner, Mrs. Kikuchi is on vacation for the next eight weeks and she is the temporary replacement.
“Oh,” he uttered, remembering that he was going to have a new person filling in. “Sorry, I had a rough day… can you get me something to eat?”
The frown on this person’s face shifted into a smile, “absolutely, what would you like?”
“An omelet, light on the salt and make the egg slightly runny.” He is suddenly reminded of how it took Mrs. Kikuchi weeks before finally getting his request right. Kiyoomi prepared himself for an overly-cooked omelet.
Five minutes later, his eyes widened at the pretty omelet before him. That was cooked perfectly, just like how he wanted it.
He eyed her suspiciously, not knowing why, before taking a bite.
He groaned.
Groaned.
Fuck, this is delicious! He thought, devouring more of his meal.
He struggled to eat with his non-dominant hand but was too hungry to care.
“Would you like for me to cut your omelet for you?”
Kiyoomi blinked, shocked at her question before answering, “y – yes, if you can?”
Y/n nodded and reached to cut his food for him.
His eyes dart between his food and this woman he’s only known for twenty minutes. He can’t remember the last time he had his food cut up for him and can’t figure out why he was feeling hard from the simple non-intimate gesture.
He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.
“Can I get you anything for you to drink?” Y/n asked with a smile that had a hint of satisfaction behind it.
His heart rate increased at her smile, and he stuttered, “o – orange juice, please.”
.
This woman was maddening.
Not only did she turn him on and made him horny almost 24/7. She also made him frustrated because she wanted to go out after her shift.
“It’s raining.” He argued, gesturing to the window blurred by the heavy downpour. “It’s too dangerous to go out.”
She called his name, his fucken weakness, and prayed she doesn’t look south cause he felt his cock twitch to life.
“It’s just raining, I’m just going out for my friend’s birthday and I’ll be back.”
After two days, Y/n was staying in his home, with him, in the guest room.
Unlike Mrs. Kikuchi, who came to his house every morning for her shift, Y/n stayed with him since he was going to be home for six weeks for recovery. He calmly, yet desperately begged her to stay with him, giving her the excuse that he’d need her more since he would be home more frequently.
Kiyoomi went as far as making a mess and dirtying himself and his home for Y/n to take care of, just to have her in his presence.
“Yes, I’m aware it is raining, Y/n, and it’s not safe to go out.” He blocked her in with his left arm. “If – if something happens to you…” I wouldn’t know what to do, “I’ll – I’ll go hungry…”
Her mouth curved into a smirk, “Sakusa Kiyoomi, are you only using me for my cooking skills?”
I want to use you and let you use me in anyway way possible, he wanted to answer. Sexually.
“No…” he breathed, his breath heavy. “I just don’t want you to go,” he answered honestly.
Y/n’s fingers touch the bottom of his shirt before lightly trailing up his chest. “Your actions… some might think… you are implying something…”
“Like?” He whispered.
Her fingers suddenly gripped the collar of his shirt and tugged him forward until their lips were mere centimeters apart. “That you want me.”
Kiyoomi’s eyes glance between her eyes and lips and suddenly the anxiety of her leaving him disappeared and replaced with confidence. And horniness. “I do.” He breathed against her lips, “I want you, Y/n. Fucken badly.”
“I can tell, I can feel you.” His bulge was pressing against her belly.
Y/n pressed her lips lightly against his in a soft kiss, to gage out his reaction.
Like a starved and hungry man, he lunged at her, his left hand pressed behind the back of her head as his lips eagerly moved against hers.
Her hands rested at his waist and Kiyoomi groaned, he was ticklish and it felt weird to have someone hold his waist. But he loved it. Only Y/n’s touch. She pulled him against her until he sandwiched her against his kitchen wall.
“Fuck, your lips… taste so good,” he murmured, “I wonder how your other lips… will taste…”
She burst out laughing, her arms wrapping around his waist. “Kiyoomi… you never fail to amuse me.”
He wasn’t sure if her comment was sarcastic or not, but he didn’t care.
“Please,” he begged, just begging for anything.
She looked up at him, his dark eyes pleading also. “You want to taste my other lips?”
“I want to taste all of you.” He knocked his forehead against hers, “don’t go, stay with me. So I can please you.”
Y/n groaned, “how can I say no?”
“Say yes that you’ll stay with me, you won’t regret it.” He pulled her to his living room and forced her to take a seat on his expensive couch. He manhandled her until she was bare and naked in front of him, and he kneeled before her with her legs spread wide.
Y/n can sense the hesitation from him. “Second thoughts?” she half teased and was half serious. If he was regretting it, goodness, it would be an embarrassment for them both.
Kiyoomi shook his head, eyes set on the sight of her bare pussy before him. “I…” he choked, “I… actually haven’t done this before.”
Y/n’s eyes widen, “what?”
His tongue slips out to moisten his lips before biting down on his lower lip, looking slightly guilty. “I’ve never… actually… seen a naked woman before…” Y/n’s surprised look made him blurt out suddenly, “I’m actually… a virgin still.”
“Oh…” her voice emphasized on the word. “I would… have never guessed that.” When he looked disappointed, she quickly added, “I don’t mean it in a bad way!” she corrected. Y/n sat up and cupped his face, “Kiyoomi, you are gorgeous. Don’t think I haven’t seen you prancing around shirtless with your sweatpants hanging off your fucken hips. I would never have thought you were still a virgin.” His eyes stare deeply into hers and she’s unsure he got her message. “Being a virgin is okay, there’s nothing to be ashamed about it.” She rubbed the tip of her nose against his. “We don’t… have to do this… please don’t feel pressured to do this.”
He shook his head, pulling away from her gasp and looking into her eyes with determination. “Teach me how to please you, teach me how you want to be pleased… I’ll do it. I’ll learn…”
“Kiyoomi, how did you take care of yourself all this time? I’m sure… you had times when you needed some relief… right?”
His cheeks flushed, before he muttered, “don’t laugh, okay…” when she nodded he answered, “I get off with a sex doll.” He waited for her to laugh at him, to embarrass him.
But she never does.
He peers up at her, not realizing he looked away.
She looked at him with sincerity and caution, “are you sure, positively sure you want to do this?”
He nods.
Y/n let out a shaky breath and leaned back, widening her legs. She used her hand and spread her pussy lips, “see how I’m wet here?” Kiyoomi nodded. “You want to arouse me, get me wet like this, which… you did.”
“I did? How?” He looked up at her like a schoolboy genuinely curious.
“By begging me to stay in tonight, it was fucken hot,” she smiled brightly and then tapped her finger against her clit, “this is the –“
“Clit,” Kiyoomi answered in a whisper.
“Correct,” She relaxed against the couch, “now, touch me, you can graze your fingers against my pussy until you’re comfortable.”
His fingers glide against her pussy, coating his fingers. He pressed this finger pad against her clit, circling it. “I’ve seen… porn where… they do this… do you… like it?”
Y/n hummed. “When you’re ready, you can put a finger inside me.”
Kiyoomi gently inserted a finger and glanced up at Y/n who grimaced, watching his finger slowly disappearing more into her hole. “Am I hurting you?”
She shook her head, “no… feels good.” When his finger was knuckle deep, Y/n instructed him, “you can move your finger in and out if you’re ready.”
He does as he is told, pumping his finger gently in and out of her.
“When you are comfortable… you can add another finger.”
And he does, his forefinger and middle finger are both pumping in and out of her.
“You feel so… soft… and warm…”
Y/n’s hand gripped her knees, keeping her legs spread wide for him. She felt her eyes rolling back at just the feeling of his two fingers and she wanted more. “You’re not so bad yourself…” she murmurs.
She was becoming wetter by the second as he fingered her.
“Can you… take three fingers?” he asked cautiously.
Y/n opened her eyes, “if you want?”
He nodded eagerly and Y/n smiled, giving him the green light.
Kiyoomi inserts three fingers, quickening his pace. “Can… I also use my mouth?”
Y//n tensed, “I haven’t showered yet.”
“So?” he questioned.
“You’re not grossed?”
“With you, no?”
“If you want to.”
“I do,” he smiles before giving kitten licks to her clit.
Her back arched against the couch at the contact of his hot tongue. Seeing her reaction, Kiyoomi shifted his mouth and suckled the little nub hard until Y/n was wreathing against him.
He’s seen how men do it in porn videos and mimic it.
“God, Kiyoomi!” Y/n shouted.
Her pussy began tightening around his three fingers and he lift his mouth, “are you… close?”
She nodded, her cheeks flushed. “Yes… make me cum with your mouth and fingers.”
His eyes remained connected with hers as he suckled her clit and continued to pump his fingers.
“Am I doing a good job?”
“Yes! Yes, Kiyoomi… so good… so good for me.” She gripped his hair, “faster, I’m so close…”
Aiming to please, Kiyoomi brings out her orgasm. She shudders against his fingers and mouth and aside from volleyball and cleaning, he has never felt such satisfaction before.
When Y/n comes down from her high, Kiyoomi gently slips his fingers out and notices her wince.
“It’s okay… just your fingers filled me fully and I feel empty now.” She assures with a smile. She sat up and saw the mess she’d made on his leather couch. She looked at his crotch, he was hard against his jeans. “Should we… take care of that?” She nods at his bulge.
Kiyoomi’s cheeks blushed. “We don’t have to…”
“I want to, but I want you to want it too.” Y/n said sternly.
He nods, “God, I feel so silly.”
Y/n grabs him by his chin and gazes directly into his eyes, “not silly at all. Now, do you want to do this?”
“Yes,” he answered in a heartbeat.
Y/n smiled, “good, I’m happy to hear that. It seems like you’ve watched porn, is there a position you want to try for the first time?”
“Here,” he answered quickly, “how you just came in front of me. I want to have sex with you right here.”
“Okay,” Y/n answered, leaning back. “Take off your clothes then.”
He stripped so fast and was naked in seconds. Y/n couldn’t take her eyes off his cock that was standing proud and ready.
Kiyoomi reached for his jeans, fishing out a condom. He swiftly and smoothly slid it on and looked at Y/n, as if waiting for her permission.
Y/n was nibbling nervously at her lower lip, “I haven’t had sex in a long time but I’m ready whenever you are.”
He touched her pussy, feeling her wetness from moments ago. His eyes drop to her breasts, which he has neglected. Kiyoomi reached with both palms and fondled her breast.
A soft moan escapes her lips and Kiyoomi dips to take a perky rosy nipple into his mouth. He suckles and nips before switching to show the other side the same attention.
“The other day when you wore a low-cut shirt… it took everything in me to not push you against the fridge and suck your tits.” Kiyoomi leans forward and kisses Y/n, “let’s take it slow and easy?”
“Okay,” Y/n nodded and tensed when she felt the intrusion of his cock. She felt him pause and she exhaled, relaxing her body, slowly feeling more of him until he was fully inside her.
For a moment they savor the feeling of just being one. Kiyoomi’s body loomed over hers as her body curved against his leather couch.
“God, this feels good, so good…” he murmurs. His head drops against her shoulder. “Can I move now?”
“Yes, yes Kiyoomi.”
Hooking his arms around her body, he began thrusting his hips. His hips began moving faster by the second when he got the rhythm down. He felt Y/n’s nail dig into his shoulder blades and that encouraged him.
“Yes! Yes!” Y/n’s legs wrapped around his waist, wrapping him closer.
His thrusts were becoming so deep that it was shifting his couch, scooting back with each thrust. He unwound his arms from around her and grip the back of his couch while continuing to thrust into her. His Y/n.
Now that he had a taste of a real pussy, there was no going back.
“So good… fuck… so good,” he cooed repeatedly, pounding into her heavenly pussy. “Best pussy ever…”
Y/n looked up into his eyes, a smirk on her lips, “but it’s the only real pussy you’ve had so far?”
Kiyoomi mirrored her smirk before his left hand snaked into her ruffled hair. He gripped the roots of her hair and growled, “the only one I want.”
The smirk on her lips disappeared and he smashed his lips against hers in a hungry kiss.
.
Y/n couldn’t believe the stamina that this man had. However, given that he played professional volleyball for a living, it made sense that his endurance was exceptional.
Even with sex.
He wanted more and more.
They fucked on many surfaces, the coffee table, against his glass window, on his kitchen island…
“E – enough…” Y/n pleaded, her arms trembling as her grip around his neck was slipping from their body sweat. He currently is carrying her, his strong arms supporting her from underneath her knees, making her spread wide and at his mercy, as he bounced her on his cock while standing.
They have used condoms littered all over his place. She didn’t know where he was pulling these condoms from, like had a magic bag full of them somewhere near.
Without withdrawing, Kiyoomi walked over to his kitchen counter and set Y/n at the edge. Slowly, he pulled out and his soft cock slipped out. The tip of the condom was full of milky white cum.
That was the last condom he had.
His breath finally calmed as he gently pushed Y/n’s head back to stare down at her. “Sorry… I got… carried away.”
Her lips curve upward into a tired smile, her eyes barely open. “Yes… you did.” She gently smacked his arm, “can’t believe you were carrying me with your injured arm.”
Kiyoomi shrugged his shoulder and looked at his cast, “it didn’t hurt.”
They laughed in sync before Kiyoomi pressed his forehead against hers. “Do… do you want to spend the night in my bed? With… me?” his voice was full of anxiety, waiting for her answer.
“I don’t want to be anywhere else.” . . .
>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy
#haikyuu smut#haikyu x reader#sakusa smut#haikyuu sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi smut#sakusa fluff#kiyoomi sakusa x y/n#kiyoomi sakusa x reader#sakusa x y/n
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I feel cheeky sending another ask but I lived the interrogation one so much so just 3 so words: snape sex pollen. Perhaps a professor x professor?
(Ps: is their a place that I can support your writing!!!)
Snape x Professor sex pollen coming right up 🫡
Writing is one of my many beloved hobbies; liking, reblogging, giving kudos or commenting is all the support I need! Thank you very much for asking though!
Blue Speckled Mushrooms
(Severus Snape x fem!Professor oneshot)
Words: 2572
Warnings: 18+ Sex Pollen :D - mutual dub-con, some biting, rough smut
Summary: In your continuing efforts to catch the grumpy Potion Master's attention you follow him into the Forbidden Forest - a mistake of perhaps destiny unfolding?
This is play post-war, Sev survives - not that it matters much to the 'plot'
Read on Ao3 or below the cut:
It could have been so easy. Gather these blasted Moon Cornflowers and Speckled Blue Mushrooms and return to the castle. It’s all he asks for. Moon Cornflowers and Speckled Blue Mushrooms to finish the brew currently under stasis in his office. Two plants. Just a few of each. They couldn’t be preserved through either magic or other means and had to be harvested within three hours of being used in a potion and only during a full moon.
Now usually this is no problem for an accomplished potion master such as Severus Snape. A quick trip to the forest and done. He knows the half-forgotten paths, the safe routes. Knows how to avoid the Centaurs and other nastier beasts that live in the Forbidden Forest.
He does not know how to avoid her.
Irritating, stupid girl.
She took over the History of Magic position earlier that year, one of Snape’s first students he taught after becoming a professor himself at merely twenty-one. A seventh year at the time who already stared at him in the library back when he was a student.
She just wouldn’t leave him alone!
“Midnight stroll?” She asks with that irritating smile on her stupid pretty face and follows him into the forest.
“What do you want?!” He growls at her. She keeps trying to make conversation with him, keeps sitting next to him during meals or in the staff room, talking. Always talking. Talking talking talking.
How can a single person be this annoying?
She is still talking. Jesus fucking christ!
“So anyway…what are you doing here?”
“I don’t see how that is of any concern to you.”
“Just curious, is all.” She replies. Stupid girl. And she is still following him!
You have no idea what to do anymore. You’ve tried everything. You’ve tried catching his attention by talking to him, leaving the top button of your blouse undone, batting your lashes at him like a teen on a love potion, you’ve searched his company, flirted like your stupid life depends on it and the cranky bastard doesn’t even recognise it!
You run to catch up with his long strides, wrapping your cloak around yourself to shield yourself from the cold night air.
You were about to go to bed, just finishing up your rounds through the castle on the lookout for students out of bed when you saw his billowing cloak sweep out of the entrance door. You of course followed him. Curious as to what he was going to do outside but also secretly hoping today’s the day he’ll finally notice your intentions.
Perhaps you have to be less subtle. You thought men like to be subtly seduced but Snape is not like any man you’ve known! Maybe he doesn’t like playing cat and mouse, doesn’t enjoy the chase.
You’ll be blunt! Yes, if a stroll through the forest at midnight doesn’t do the trick you’ll gather what little courage you have and just make the first step yourself. You’re an independent woman! You don’t need to wait around for Snape to realise you’re interested in him and make the first step.
“Are you gathering ingredients of sorts?” You ask and walk quicker to keep up, pressing your arm against his by walking closer to him. He glares at you.
“Obviously.” He snarls and looks forward again.
“Cool. cool cool cool….um…which ones?”
He audibly grumbles.
“Sorry, I couldn’t understand you.” You smile. He is making it very hard to be attracted to him. Grumbly bastard. Prickly idiot. Why can’t he just fuck you? Shove you into a broom closet and let out his frustrations if you’re so bloody annoying to be around! Why can’t you fall head over heels for someone normal?
Because normal is boring.
Your eyes glide over his sharp jaw, every muscle tensed, about ready to snap, beneath his pale skin that shines in the moonlight.
“I said, you were a daft, simple-minded girl when I had the misfortune of attempting to teach you potions - I very much doubt you’d understand any more now than you did seventeen years ago!”
His venom cuts deep. You stumble backwards. You thought he was clumsy when it comes to socialising, that he perhaps didn’t understand your intentions, not that he loathes you.
“Oh…” You murmur. “Um…okay…” don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. “Sorry for bothering you.” You turn on your heels and run. He calls after you but you ignore it, disappearing between the trees into the undergrowth, away from Snape because you are about to cry your eyes out like the stupid little girl he sees in you and you are not about to embarrass yourself any further than you already have! You just want to go back to your quarters.
Stupid girl! Insufferable, annoying, bothersome, foolish girl!
Snape runs after her. He considered leaving her to her own fate and capabilities and collect his ingredients but he had been cursed with a conscience. A nasty, biting thing demanding he not let her run to her death in an Acromantula den.
He’ll tear her a new one when he catches up to her! The sheer idiocy! Running into the Forbidden Forest like that! What possessed her.
“Stop running!” He snarls, draws his wand and sends a non-verbal Stupor at her. She stumbles and falls face-first into the flower field spreading over the clearing they had entered during their chase. Snape lifts his spell.
You spin around, furious. How fucking dare he? Isn’t it enough to insult you? Does he have to embarrass you by forcing you to bear your pathetic little hurt feelings to him?
He stands at the other end of the clearing, pale blue flowers reaching to his calves, emitting a gentle glow. He looks furious. The light of the full moon illuminates him from the back, deepening his already sharp features, cloaking his face and body in menacing shadows.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” He snarls and points towards the direction you were running in. “Do you want to be eaten by enormous spiders?”
“Like you give a damn!” You shout and pick yourself up off the ground. Swiftly you brush loose dirt and a few pedals off your robes and out of your hair. The motherfucker stunned you!
“I might be a cold son of a bitch but I am not letting a colleague run to her death - no matter how annoying said colleague is. The way back to the castle is-” A wind picks up. His cloak flutters behind him, the fabric whispering with the motion. Pedals are ripped from the flowers.
His eyes widen.
You tilt your head to the side, brows pulled together. “Severus?”
“Stay where you are!” He hisses, sending droplets of spit flying. You look around, confused, searching the dark rows of trees for some beastly critter about to attack but you find none. Snape’s eyes are pinned to yours. His chest is heaving, his breath seems shallow. You take a step forward to which Snape instantly backs away, keeping his wand pointed at- you?
“What’s going on?”
“To the castle! Go back to the castle!”
“I am not your student! You can’t give me orders! And to think I’ve been trying to go on a date with you for months!”
“You have to go back to the castle now or- what?” His wand hand sinks a little. A crease forms between his brows. You’ve never seen Severus so puzzled.
“Year really…” You mutter. “Back in school too-”
“I am not in the mood for jokes or pranks.”
“It’s not!” You take another step forward. Severus’ back hits a tree. The wind picks up. A sweet scent reaches your nose, infiltrates your mind, swirls around your brain like vapours of a potion-
Weren’t you cold?
You were! Yes, you were- but it’s so hot- when did it get so hot?
“Stop that!” Snape snarls again.
“Stop what?” You roll your eyes and pause- your cloak lies in the flower field three steps away from you. You have unbuttoned your robes, revealing the white blouse and dark trousers underneath- when-?
“Go. back.” He has his jaw clenched, teeth pressed together. His nostrils flare, his eyes flick down to your chest and he seems to struggle to force them back up.
“Are you hot too?” Your fingers pry open the buttons of your blouse without you even noticing or you’re just not thinking about it…
“Go-”
“What’s happening?”
“Pollen-”
“What?”
“Where you shit in Herbology too?!” He snaps and you glare at him about ready to-
Your blouse slips off your shoulders and falls to the ground. “Stop- you don’t want this-”
“What? What is this?”
“A rare flower.” His voice sounds pressed, as though he’s struggling to speak, to breathe, to exist. He has his back moulded to the tree, clutching at the bark with his hands, straining to keep his eyes on your face.
The button on your trousers is open.
“The pollens they emit to the air to spread and form these dense fields- they have a unique effect on humans-”
“Which effect?”
“Can’t you tell, stupid girl?”
Your trousers push past your hips.
“You should be running from me, not stripping for me.” His eyes graze over your body, standing in front of him in only your underwear, devouring the sight. His eyes trace along the curves of your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake…Heat rushes to your core.
“Sex pollen-” You gasp, noticing you’re standing a mere arm's length away from him now.
“The rather crude colloquial name - yes.”
“Severus- what-”
“Too late, stupid girl.” He snarls and the next moment he’s on you, pouncing at you like a wild beast. His woodsy, herbal scent flows around you, mixing with the sweet smell of the damned flower. His hands grip your arms roughly, blunt nails dig into your flesh. Severus swirls you around and pushes you against the tree. Bark scratches against your skin, stabbing into it but you don’t even notice.
It’s like a trance has taken over your mind and only one thing matters.
He.
Severus’ mouth latches onto your throat. A million tiny explosions rush over your skin where he touches you and you moan, a feral sound ripped harshly from your throat, echoing over the empty clearing. Severus growls in response, even more feral, even less human. His teeth scrape over your throat. His hands roam over your body, squeezing your breasts, your thighs. Then he tears at his own clothes, shedding layer after layer with a quickness and urgency that has your head spinning.
“Stupid girl.” He repeats and kisses up to your jaw, your cheek. Heated, open-mouth kisses that leave your skin marked by his saliva.
You place your hands on his shoulders, searching for something to hold onto, something to pull you back into reality, your head spinning, skin exploding, core hurting. You’re so aroused, so need it fucking hurts.
“Severus-” You moan. His hands find your thighs and he lifts you up. Your legs wrap around him on their own accord.
“You should have run when you still had the chance.” He snarls against your lips, his breath brushes over your skin. “You’ll regret this.”
“Shut up and fuck me, you prick!”
Your lips meet in a violent clash of teeth and tongue. You’re pretty sure he bites you or perhaps you bite him. None of it matters anymore when you feel his prick against your soaked entrance. You’ve never been so wet- never so wound up- so desperate for sex-
You cry out when he enters you, a forceful thrust that buries him to the hilt in your twitching channel. He is big. Too big under different circumstances perhaps. He doesn’t give you time to adjust. He pounds into you, spearing you open, using his grip on your waist to bounce you on his cock in sync with each of his thrusts.
You cling to his shoulders, your nails drawing blood, fingertips running over old scars, exploring the surprisingly defined muscles of his lean stature.
Your breasts bounce, rubbing against his naked chest, his lips lay claim to yours, your face, your neck, your chest.
He stumbles, his left side giving in and you tumble to the ground. You’ve seen that happen before. The venom of you-know-who’s snake has left him with some permanent damage, not only the huge scar on his neck.
You don’t care.
You push him down to the ground, your hands on his chest and move your hips, lifting them, letting them slam back down, riding him. You throw your head back, your eyes closed, lips parted as his cock drags along your inner walls with delicious friction.
“So- so full-” You moan. Your breasts sway. Severus catches them, squeezing them with such pure delight on his usually reserved face. He twists your nipples between his fingers, revelling in the noises he coaxes from you.
“You could have had this so much sooner, idiot.” You hiss and grind down against him before lifting your hips up once again.
“Wha-?” His puzzled expression is almost cute.
“I’ve been trying to get you to ask me out for months!” As though to reinforce your discontent with his lack of romantic interest you pick up your pace. His head drops back into the flowers. The pale blue petals glow in his inky black hair.
“How was I supposed to know?” He asks, bucking up to meet your movement.
“I was flirting!”
“I thought you were acting especially stupid for some reason.”
“Arsehole!” You dig your nails into his chest but Severus seems to like that. His eyes squeeze shut, his lips part, pleasure drawn into every wrinkle of his face.
“Why didn’t you just ask me out?”
“Would you have said yes?”
“I’d have called you stupid. Perhaps laughed at you. Slip poison in your tea.”
“I hate you.”
“I don’t think you do.”
Quicker than you can follow his movements you’re underneath him and your legs on his shoulders. Your head is still spinning when Severus starts pounding into you. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the clearing, accompanied by your and Severus' animalistic, feral sounds of pleasure.
“I don’t-” You moan and dig your fingers into the dry soil underneath you.
“I know.”
“You’re supposed to say me neither.”
“I do whatever the fuck I want, sweetheart.”
“Shut up.”
“No.”
His balls slap against your arse. His hand drops between your bodies, his fingers find your clit, run over it once- twice-
You see stars. Dots of light exploding all over your field of vision and pulling you into darkness, bringing the complex system keeping your body alive and moving to an abrupt stop. Your lungs refuse to fill with air, your brain crashes, your limbs tense, your whole body forced into a contortion made of carnal desire and the world-ending pleasure Severus Snape brings you.
You twitch. Then you inhale sharply, filling your lungs with air, shuddering, whimpering under Severus who spills inside you with an ear-splitting grunt and then slumps down above you. On top of you. Your legs found the ground somehow. His cock still inside you, throbbing, slowly softening, you lay in the dirt like a starfish, feeling dizzy, overwhelmed and confused.
“Friday.” Severus murmurs, his lips brushing over your cheek as he speaks. “Dinner. Be ready on time or I’ll leave without you.”
“Mh?”
“You really are dense." He grumbles. "Your date, stupid girl. Friday.”
#snape x reader#severus snape x reader#snape x you#Severus snape x you#severus snape x professor!reader#severus snape smut#snape fandom#request#dividers by cafekitsune#sex pollen
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⋆₊˚⊹.𖥔 zoom, click, panic ! -> hyuck's group
pussy feens (virgins) !
lee donghyuck is obsessed with anything camera related, no wonder he's a photography major. unfortunately for him it's an expensive hobby for a broke student like himself. he just lost his job at the convenience store cause he was too scared to help a hot girl find flamin' hot cheetos... he's a 24 year old virgin can you really blame him?
women gender studies major mark lee has to be the face of feminism. this may just be a ploy to try and get laid though, not like it's working anyways, the girls think he's gay. he's the dad of the group always making sure his boys are in check, and respecting women like they should. they'd have to actually get near a woman to respect her though...
zhong chenle's head is probably so huge because of how big his brain is, i mean who else is successfully completing an aerospace engineer major? not only is he a super mega nerd but he has an unhealthy obsession with stephen curry... what girl would wanna sleep with that? but who needs girls when you have your best guy friends who also get zero female interactions?
finance bro jung sungchan should have an easy time getting a girl.. right? wrong. he has no rizz whatsoever. but he's pretty popular amongst other men so he gets the guys access to all the biggest parties. parties which they spend all night stuck to one another... maybe they should try splitting up next time...
park jisung is the embodiment of shyness. no one knows how he's the only one in the friend group to have lost his virginity. he's cute and soft spoken... the the public. but when he's with his friend group no one can make him stop talking, certified yapper. and what's worse is that his rants usually consist of stars and planets, blame it on his astronomy major... or was it astrology?
these virgins met on a porn discord chat. they realized that they had the same taste in twitter porn and eventually made their own group chat to share videos. with some time there were less porn links and more personal talk. how sweet a bond forged by naked women and tragic backstories. but don't underestimate them, they'd ride and die for each other.
yn's group -> masterlist -> intro
notes : literally all nerds cause they have nothing else to worry about but keeping their grades up tbh. didn't realize how smutty this smau is gonna be so pls prepare urselves for dirty bad words and descriptions im sorry 😞
taglist : @kimsaerom , @n0hyuck , @nanaxwi , @neverbeurs , @sunghoonsgfreal , @hizhu , @axo-l0tl , @strawberrysavi , @hyuckiebb-blog , @hyucktion , @4yunogf , @jakesbubu , @gacktsa , @iheartjayke , @annoyednblax , @luvvhaechan , @dudekiss3r , @yesohhsehun , @prettybluei , @soobinbunnie5 , @hyucksunset , @the-swageyama-tobiyolo , @byeonwooseokabs , @kodasity , @hyuckmoon , @catdonut657 , @lionzyon , @luvandletter , @defzcl , @nneteyamss , @222brainrot , @1lovejinki , @zzurao , @catpjimin , @multifandomania , @docilismo , @injunnie-lemon , @jeonghansshitester , @babyjenono , @wonswondrland , @livingdoll-hara , @minkyuncutie , @luvsooby
#🐻#nct#nct dream#nct imagines#haechan#nct fluff#nct smau#nct social media au#nct fake texts#nct smut#nct dream smut#nct dream fake texts#nct dream smau#lee haechan#haechan fluff#haechan imagines#haechan smut#haechan social media au#haechan smau#haechan texts#haechan fake texts#lee donghyuck#donghyuck#nct donghyuck
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Hey, i hope ur having a good dayy...heard yu wanted some yandere arcane asks...how about vi(romantic) with a naïve piltover darling (generally soft and clumsy as well) fem reader please!!💖💕
Thank you so much that's so sweet!!! I'm getting to requests really late, but I'm doing my best XD thank you for requesting and your patience! Even though it's really late, I hope you enjoy ^^
Soooo glad the second season is coming out soon, I crave it so bad XD
Words: 1,642
Vi was in Piltover, doing what she joked was a small heist. It was just her this time, Vander having cracked down on them all not returning to top side in fear of their safety. She made sure Powder was safe first, and left her in the boy’s care. She had received word there was an event going on, a series of stalls and shops along the road. It was the perfect opportunity to blend in and steal from all the rich assholes who could buy out the whole street if they wanted to.
…That was her plan anyway.
It started off simple enough, showing up right in the middle of the day when it was the most busy. She paid close attention to the people who looked like they had more money than others…and with how idiotic people could be, it wasn’t hard to tell who could afford the most. Starting off, she took small items they had purchased that she thought could go for more underground. She didn’t expect to be bumped into as a girl fell to the ground.
As it were, you only wanted to go to see what the shops had to offer. You weren’t paying much attention though, and bumped into something…or someone. Both you and the person fell to the ground, and you looked up at her from the ground as you whined and rubbed the spot on your leg you just knew would be bruised later. She was laying next to you, and you caught sight of her snarl. You jumped up looking her over.
“Crud! Are you okay? I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you! Did I damage anything you’d bought? I can’t believe I did that again! Gah!” You whined and looked at her as if seeking forgiveness. She looked baffled, and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “I can pay for anything I broke! Here, let me buy you something, too!” You took her hand, and she accepted it. You couldn’t tell what expression was on her face, but you were terrified you’d made a bad impression on this woman.
“Uh…you don’t have to. I have what I need.” Vi spoke, and she seemed guarded. It was almost as if she thought you were tricking her, not believing you were really being this nice to a stranger. “You hurt, cupcake?” She said, seemingly coming to a conclusion in her mind. She brushed off your shoulders, touch lingering only briefly. Her touch was rough, but it didn’t seem to phase you.
“I’m not hurt! Not any more hurt than I usually am when I fall anyway…” You mumbled the last bit, and shook your head. “And it’s okay! I insist, it’s the least I could do!” Your smile was wide and bright, and somehow contagious. As soon as you locked eyes with her, she smiled back at you, though her smile was much more akin to a smirk.
She leaned forward so your faces were near each other, and her eyes glazed over yours and she continued to smirk as she pulled back. “If you really insist, I have something in mind.” Her original mission had subsided in her mind, and it seemed she had a new plan she wanted to see through. She was still being cautious, but she would play along for now. This could prove to be entertaining, afterall.
You yapped away, Vi barely getting any words in since giving you her name. She didn’t seem to mind though, and listened closely to everything you had to say. It didn’t take long to learn all about you, considering the fact that you told her basically all the important information. It was fun! You got to tell her all about your job, your close group of friends, and your favorite hobbies and pastimes. Vi even asked questions to learn more, despite you not picking up on her prodding more into your personal life.
She had tried to justify it as gathering intel for her next trip with Powder and the boys, but she was growing more intrigued by the second. Though as you reached the stall she had escorted you to, you looked at her. “Oh! A flower stall! Are you getting flowers for someone? That’s so thoughtful!” You giggled, and looked at the wide array of different flowers local to your home and even exported from further off.
Vi smirked, before putting on a small act. She sighed deeply, and looked deep in thought. “I’d love to get her flowers, but I’m not sure what kind she likes. There’s too many to choose from, it’s overwhelming…what kind do you like?” She looked over to you, eyes full of mischief. She only smiled wider when it seemed like you didn’t gather the implications.
“I think these one’s here are the prettiest, and the bouquet has a good variety of flowers! So no matter the room, you can probably make the flowers suit it perfectly!” You thought carefully about your answer, wanting to make sure she could get the best possible ones for the girl she wanted to get them for. It was no trouble, you did bump into her, so it only seemed fitting to help out however you could.
“I see…” She said, and picked up the bouquet you chose. “I hope she’ll like these.” As she said it in a thoughtful but playful tone, before handing them to you. “So, do you like them?” Her hand was outstretched, and you looked at the flowers in confusion. She could practically see the gears turning in your head, and tried to wait to see if you’d understand.
“THEY’RE FOR ME?!” You said, way louder than you meant to. It brought a light blush to your cheeks and you pouted at her. “But I’m the one that bumped into you! I should be getting you a gift!” You looked around the booth, and quickly picked up a bouquet of flowers you thought would suit her. Paying quickly, you copied her motion of giving her the flowers.
“These are for you then! They have colors that remind me of you and your hair, so I guess it’s…a trade?” You thought carefully, trying to decide if you’d be satisfied with a trade rather than providing something to her from your stumble into her. The flowers weren’t very expensive, so it didn’t really seem fair.
“How sweet of you…” Vi said, a glimmer of something in her eyes that you couldn’t place. “I’ll happily accept these flowers from you, cupcake.” She gave a wink, but by now she knew you wouldn’t understand the undertones of her words and meaning. She’d have to be more direct to get through to you. Stepping up her game seemed in order, but not just yet.
“Let me at least buy you something else!” You pleaded, wide eyes as you looked around the stalls to find something else you could give her for her troubles. But Vi looked to the sky, cursing under her breath. At the noise, you tilted your head and asked, “Is something wrong?” You sounded worried, and it only made her heart swell further.
“My sister is waiting for me at home, I have to go.” She seemed reluctant to say it, but started walking away with a glance to you over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll meet again.” To you, the words were reassuring…whereas most people would have seen it as ominous. You barely knew her, but you welcomed her regardless. There’s no way in hell this would be the last time she saw you.
“But! I have to buy you something else!” You called, jogging the few steps to catch up with her. She had the flowers you had bought her in her arms, and the other items she’d “bought” within her carry pack. She stopped as you approached, you putting a hand on her shoulder.
She hummed, turning to look fully at you before smirking with a dark glint in her eyes. “Then…” She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your cheek, before playfully breathing into your ear, “We’ll make it a date. Next time, you can take me out on the condition I get to take you out after.” She pulled back, and could have burst out laughing from the shocked look on your face as you blushed.
It only made you smile wide, “Okay! It’s a promise then! Do I get to pick what we do for our date?” You hopped once in place and waited eagerly for her response.
“Of course, cupcake. Anything you wanna do.” With her final words, she turned, as you lost her in the crowd of people. It only then occurred to you that she had no way of knowing where you lived. What if she got lost and never saw you again? Or even worse, what if you never saw her again? It had crushed your spirit a little, and your eyes cast down as you pouted, walking back to your house.
Though from the shadows, Vi loomed. She watched you walk all the way home, making note of any recognizable locations and landmarks so she would remember exactly how to get to you. You were a new form of intoxication she’d never experienced. You were pure, innocent. You didn’t pick up on her flirting until she made sure you did, and you never once questioned her attire or why you’d never seen her before. It made her let out a chuckle, as she watched you, almost hungrily.
You’d see her again, sooner than you’d think…and she’d make sure you could never forget her. She knew it was just a matter of time before she corrupted that innocence of yours, making you hers in any way she wanted…any way she desired.
You should have run when you had the chance, cupcake.
#arcane x reader#fem! reader#yandere! vi x reader#arcane vi x reader#yandere arcane x reader#no blood or violence...yet#x reader#request#fem reader
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I‘LL NEVER LEAVE YOU | (l.norris)
part two to Finding Lando on Raya
summary: part two to Finding Lando Norris on Raya, how you spend the evening, flying to Spa for tire testing and a date in the evening
wordcount: 9.8k words
pairing: landonorris x fem!reader
warnings: SMUT! (p in v, oral, taking pictures while doing it)
notes: sorry for the delay, but I was kinda blocked! The end feels rushed, but I genuinely didn’t know what to write, sorry. Anyway, second smut so be gentle. And thank you for all the positive feedback!!!!❤️🩹
”You want to order some McDonald’s and stay over?“
You looked at Lando, how could he be so perfect? Only minutes ago he was buried deep inside of you and now he was a sweet angel.
”Sure!“
He grabbed his phone from his night table and opened Uber Eats.
”What do you wanna eat?“
You named him your go-to McDonald’s order and he chose a chickenburger menu.
”It should come in like twenty minutes. Enough time to repeat what we just did.“
”Let’s eat first, you tired me out, two orgasms are more than men normally become out of a woman.“
”I‘m just a pro, what can I say.“
You shoved his shoulder playfully and he laid down next to you. He opened his arm and you laid your head on his naked shoulder, pulling up the duvet to cover you both. He slowly caressed your shoulder with his fingers.
”So where are you from, Y/N?“
”I was born in Y/H/N and moved to London two years ago for this job. I meet new customers that want to buy some products from us.“
”Do you travel a lot?“
”Not really. Every now and then, yes. But mostly I meet them in London in our office. But tell me, what’s it like being a Formula One driver? Is it as luxury as it always looks like?“
”Sometimes, I mean we get to stay in fancy hotels and whatnot, but it’s hard work as well. The G-forces your whole body has to resist are heavy, so we need to train a lot, I hate it so much, you have no idea. The traveling is also tiring. I hate being away from my family and friends so much, but at the same time, I have more free time than you probably have. But that free time is mostly filled with training, it’s rare I have two weeks off in a row.“
”I get that, but it’s still your hobby, no? I can imagine that having your hobby as a job is the best thing.“
”That’s true, but I don’t know, I‘m super happy and grateful to be where I am but at the same time, sometimes I‘d like to have more privacy. It’s always dangerous for me to hit up women because they could always post it on social media and I‘m the asshole you know. Or when I’m in Monaco, I can’t go out with a woman, she‘s immediately my girlfriend. My cousin once visited me and she got death threats afterwards. That’s not nice. But it comes with being a ’celebrity‘ I guess.“
When he said celebrity he did quotation marks in the air.
”So you meet up with a lot of women?“, you asked him jokingly.
”I poured my heart out and that’s the only thing that stuck in your pretty head?“, he let out a laugh.
”But don’t worry, I never had such a pretty and nice girl before, you‘re truly special. Not one of them wanted to eat McDonald’s with me, claiming they‘re gonna be fat afterwards.“
”Don’t worry, I was just kidding. I can’t say I know what you’re feeling, because I don’t. I can wander through London and no one asks me for a picture, but I imagine it to be hard. Having no privacy I mean. But if you ever want to talk, you know who to call. And whoever turns down a free McDonald’s meal is just stupid. Especially if you have such a hot man next to you.“
You put your hand on his chin, caressing it, where a slight stubble grew.
”I actually don’t know who to call, I don’t even have your number yet. I’ve been inside of you and don’t even know what your profile picture looks like.“
You smiled up at him and chuckled.
”We can change that later, I‘m too comfortable right now“, you pressed a kiss on his neck.
”You said something about Pirelli tire testing earlier?“
”Yeah, tomorrow in Spa. I drive around the circuit in different cars and my F1 car, testing possible new tires.“
”Oh really? That’s fun.“
”You should come.“
”Isn’t that something only people from the team can attend?“
”You can sit in my garage, that’s fine.“
”Lando we barely know each other.“
”And? I like you, I think that you like me. Come as a friend, I won’t say you’re my fuck friend.“
You chuckled at that. But should you? What if people see you somewhere because someone posts it and you get the same treatment his cousin got?
”Won’t there be paparazzi?“
”No, at least not that I know of. It’s only an event for included people, it’s not even publicly announced.“
”But still, won’t it be weird?“
”Let’s get to know each other then, I won’t be weird.“
”Are you sure? I‘m just the girl you fucked because you needed it.“
”Y/N, you’re a human, not an object I am using. If you wouldn’t have stuck out to me, I wouldn’t have liked you. I would’ve never texted you.“
You stayed silent, didn’t know what to answer. Only your hand went to his neck and fondled it, wanting to show your affection somehow.
”What’s your favorite color?“
”Really?“, you chuckled.
”Answer it, then we won’t be strangers anymore and you can come tomorrow.“
”I like a light blue, but it changes. You?“
”I like a neon yellow, like the color on my helmet. Favorite ice cream flavor?“
You told him your favorite ice cream flavor and you asked him the same question.
”Vanilla Ice cream, classic.“
”Favorite Holiday?“
”I love Christmas, I get to spend most time with my family, and also presents. Yours?“
”Must be Christmas as well. I love it when everything is gloomy and stuff.“
”You‘ve ever been on a yacht?“
”No, I’d love to, but I‘m not rich.“
”Want to come with me on holiday?“
”Lando.. it’s the same with tomorrow. I can’t just go on your family holiday with you.“
”Why not?“
”Because I‘m not your girlfriend or something.“
”Want to be my girlfriend?“
You scoffed and sat up, ”You need to calm down.“
”I was just kidding. I‘m leaving in a week, but we still have enough time to get to know each other. Consider it. You‘re different, I can feel it.“
”Let me think about it.“
”Take all the time you need, but I before our flight takes off I need to know.“
”I need to buy a plane ticket then.“
”No, we‘re flying with a private jet, we still have a few seats left.“
”Boujee, I see.“
”I am collaborating with a brand, so I don’t have to pay anything.“
”That’s even more Boujee!“, you laughed.
”Well, we could join the mile hig-”
Before Lando could finish the sentence, it knocked on the door. He jumped out of bed and pulled his Boxershorts, which lay somewhere on the floor up to his hips. When he opened the door, a hotel employee stood in front of it, holding a brown bag.
”Sir, you ordered from McDonalds, is that correct?“
”Yes it is.“
”Then here you go, bon appetit!“
”Cheers!“
Lando closed the door and walked back to the bed, where he sat down and opened the back, giving you your food while he laid his‘ down in front of him.
You took the first bite and moaned: ”I needed this.“
Lando looked at you with a crooked eyebrow.
”What?“, you laughed, ”never saw a woman enjoying her food?“
”I‘ve never seen such a gorgeous naked woman in my bed enjoying her food, no.“
”You‘re a flirt, you know that?“
He only smirked at you and took another bite of his chickenburger, while eating a fries right after.“
”Are you more of a McDonald’s or Nando’s type of girl?“
”I enjoy McDonald’s more, to be honest, I feel like it has a bigger variety of things I eat.“
”Same, if I had to choose my last meal, it would probably be McDonald’s.“
He took a sip of his Sprite and thought about more things to ask you. He wanted to get to know you, it felt like you knew each other for years already, yet it only has been a few hours. He felt super close to you, as if you‘ve been best friends, he wanted you to meet everyone, his family, his friends, and even Zak.
”What’s you’re favorite free time activity?“
”I like hanging with friends or family, I love to play golf and I like gaming. A mixture of all of them. I could never choose my favorite, I also like to photograph, but I barely do it anymore. What’s with you?“
”Well, I like reading, watching sports, or just chill at home. Shopping is great too, I always wanted to watch someone golf professionally.“
”Well, I‘m not a professional baby.“
”But probably more than I am.“
”Alright, when you come with me on holiday, we‘ll play a round of golf.“
”Lando..“
”Come on, it’s gonna be fun! Everyone will love you and you‘ll love them.“
”Let me think about it, okay?“
”I can give you a week, we’re flying from Heathrow, so just text me and join us.“
You took the last bite and thought about it, should you go on vacation with him? What would you tell your family? ’Hey mum, I’m going on a holiday with a stranger I met on a dating app, we fucked and he invited me, I’ll come back in a week!‘ Not so much fun.
”What should I tell my family and friends? I can’t just leave with a stranger on a holiday.“
”Why not? It’s not like we‘re strangers. I’ve been in you thirty minutes ago.“
You scoffed, he was right, but you still didn’t know him at all.
”I still don’t know you.“
”Hi, I‘m Lando Norris, born in Bristol, twenty three years old. I have two smaller sisters and one bigger brother, my parents are together, and together with my sisters they still live in Bristol. My mum is from Belgium, which makes me half Belgian but I can barely speak it. I went to school and went karting, had to re-take my theory driving test, and moved to the higher formula classes on my own accord, not because my dad was rich. I currently live in Monaco because I wanted to do something new. That’s basically everything about me. I live and breathe motor sport, that’s all I have in my life. And now it’s your turn.“
So you did the same, repeating everything he just said, talking about your family, about your passions, your job, and yourself.
”You see? Now we know each other and you can join me for the holiday.“
”Take me out on a date and then maybe.“
”Alright, it’s a deal. Tomorrow after tire testing.“
”Okay.“
You smiled shyly at him, you couldn’t believe you actually said yes to tire testing, but in the end, you only live once and who would turn down a free paddock experience with Lando Norris? Even if it’s tire testing.
”So you‘ll come with me to tire testing tomorrow?“
He got really excited and sat up in the bed.
”Yes Lando, I‘ll come with you.“
”You’re the best!“
With that, he laid himself on top of you and kissed you on the lips, which you returned with a moan. You moved your foot to give him more space and heard a crinkling sound.
”Lando wait, the bag is still on the bed.“
You tried to say in between kisses but he only hummed, clearly already in a headspace where he didn’t care. He distracted you with neck kisses and the bag was long forgotten. He wandered lower with his kisses and stopped at your boobs, sucking your right nipple slightly and licking over the left one when he decided the right one has gotten enough love. With each touch, you gasped, grabbed his hair, and pulled at the strands. You could feel him hardening against your lower stomach and you clasped his shoulders, trying to get closer to him.
”Lando, I need more“, you pressed out.
”More already? God, you’re such a needy little baby.“
He grinned and his hand slipped towards your slit, slowly pushing his pointer finger through your lips. He felt your wetness and moaned at the sensation, he couldn’t believe how wet you were already, he barely touched you.
He pressed his thumb to your clit and slowly circled it, you let out different sounds that made Lando shake, in a good way. He couldn’t wait to be in you again. He inserted two fingers and pumped them slowly in and out, getting faster with every thrust.
”You‘re so wet baby, it’s crazy.“
”All for you Lando, it’s all for you.“
He moaned, kissed your neck, and slightly sucked it, leaving a faint purplish mark. He licked over it to claim his territory once more, tonight you belonged to him and only him, maybe for the next weeks as well. He already loved your company, he didn’t need to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. With you, he could just be Lando even if you just met.
His pumps and circles became faster the louder your moans got, the pleasure you felt was almost unbearable, you wanted to cum but you needed a little more.
”I need more, a bit more“, you pressed out and with that, he added a finger, now you were filled with three fingers and that was what you needed, after a few pumps you came around his fingers with a loud moan, clenching.
”Fuck Lando, you‘re so good at this.“
He smirked and pulled his fingers out of your pussy, looking at them, he pulled them apart and your juices created little strings that connected between his fingers. His eyes focused on your face watching you, as he put his fingers into his mouth, sucking the juices off. With your pussy still sensitive, you felt the next wave of arousal rushing towards your lower area, that was the sexiest thing he did and the way he moaned when he tasted you again, made you go wild.
”I need to be in you again, you have no idea how gorgeous you are.“
”I need you too Lando, I need your dick.“
He laid on his back and removed his underwear he was still wearing from getting the McDonald’s bag earlier, and his dick sprung towards the ceiling. You almost started drooling at the sight. He was perfect, not too long but also not too short, thick enough, and little veins covered his length, making him feel amazing inside of you. With a grunt he positioned himself on top of you, pumping his dick with his hand a few times, getting ready for you. He coated his tip with your juices, by moving his length through your slit and slowly pushed it inside of you.
”You feel fucking amazing, I hope you know that.“
You moaned and pushed his head to yours, pressing your lips on his‘ and sliding your tongue against his lips. He opened them and you fought for dominance, he won but only because you needed to catch a breath, he stole your breath, that’s it.
He deeply looked into your eyes, feeling more connected with him than ever.
With slow movements he began to move, the room getting filled with the dirtiest slapping sounds you could imagine, his thrusts making you feel on cloud nine again, you were so happy you met him, this was way better than sightseeing in Amsterdam. His hand found its way to your clit, rubbing slight circles to get you to your orgasm faster, which worked. You were stimulated by your many orgasms today, you didn’t need much to cum. Just after a few minutes of him thrusting into you and circulating your clit, you came with a loud cry, no one could make you finish like he did. He pulled out of you, and with a pout, you looked at him, how dare he do that, you now felt empty and missed him already.
”I want to cum in your mouth angel.“
With big eyes, you nodded and he got up and sat at the edge of the bed, you followed him suit and sat on your knees in between his legs. His length hit his stomach and you grabbed his dick with both of your hands, you loved how heavy he laid in your hands. With slow movements you started to satisfy him, pumping up and down while you looked through innocent eyes at him. That made him go even more wild in the head and his eyes rolled back, his hands found their way into your hair and he pulled slightly on your strands. You jerked him off and his tip started to leak pre cum, the slight white drops oozed out of his slit and your mouth watered. You opened your mouth and took him in your mouth, you could still taste yourself on his dick and moaned at the taste, the vibrations made him moan. Your tongue licked off the pre cum, the salty flavor wasn’t your favorite, but now you tried to get every drop. Lando guided your head a bit with the up and down movements, you couldn’t fit his whole length in your mouth but you tried with every stroke to fit more. You almost had it, but when you wanted to take the last bit, his soft tip reached your throat and triggered the gag reflex, you tried to ignore it, but you couldn’t.
With that, you pulled back to give yourself a second to breathe.
”Fuck, look at you. Eyes watery, makeup smudged, spit leaking out of your mouth, you look so fucking sexy.“
You grinned and darted your tongue out, licking a long stripe from bottom to top from his dick and with a swift move, you had him in your mouth again, but now only what fitted in without gagging again, jerking the rest of his dick with your hand.
”Such a good girl, fuck baby.“
His moans got louder and you could feel his member starting to twitch, you removed him out of your mouth and just jerked him on your tongue, and before he could warn you, his cum shot into your mouth, painting your tongue white. You looked up at him and he looked like a Greek god, his muscles prominent, head in his neck, and his eyes rolled back. You stroked him until he came back down and looked at you with a big smile, now you swallowed his cum while letting him watch you.
”You are something else darling, fuck. You look so pretty like this. Fucked out. Come here, I need to feel you close.“
With that he shuffled back and leaned with his back against the headboard of the bed, patting his legs, symbolizing you to sit down in his lap. And you did just that, you swung your leg over his leg and sat down, feeling his now soft dick against your pussy. This time there were no sexy feelings involved, you just went in for a hug, also needing the cuddle session you two had going on.
”Do you want to go and pee real quick? Then we can continue our cuddles, I just don’t want you to get sick.“
With a smile, you nodded and he helped you getting up from the bed, with an extra sway to your hips you went to the en-suite and did your thing, coming cleaned up back to see him looking comfy under the covers. You went to the living room where you first sat on the couch today and saw both of your phones laying on the table, you took them both in your hands and returned to Lando. He opened the blanket he was laying under and you slipped in, immediately you were pulled towards Lando, settling into his body nicely.
”You are really comfy, you know that?“, you said to him, he was the perfect mixture of trained but cuddly.
”You know that you are fucking gorgeous?“
You chuckled and gave him his phone you had in your hand.
”So we can exchange numbers.“
With that you opened yours and clicked onto the contact app, creating a new contact with the name ’Lan <3‘ and giving him your phone, at the same time he gave you his phone to save your number. When you saw the contact name you let out a quiet laugh, he saved you as ’Chicken nugget❤️‘.
”Chicken Nugget? Really?“, you laughed.
”Yes, the way you ate the chicken nugget earlier was super sexy. And also you are a chicken nugget. Small, the outside crunchy and perfect, the inside soft, and the taste perfect in general.“
You shook your head while laughing.
”The inside soft?“
”I could only feel you with my dick but you felt really soft.“
With that, he wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at you. You slapped his chest lightly and smiled, he‘s such a goofball, you were glad you met up with him.
You exchanged phones again after putting in your numbers and put them on the bedside table, wanting to feel close and you didn’t need your phone for that.
”So Y/N, tell me, do you meet up with random guys often?“
”Not really, I went on a couple of dates with guys, but nothing more, one or two led to a one night stand but I left as soon as we were done, no need to stay. They all didn’t treat me right, too much in their own head, only talking about themselves. What about you? Do you hit up girls often?“
”Sometimes, but the most girls only come to get a picture with me or to kiss me, you know, to brag about it on the internet or something. I rarely go on a date with a girl that is not interested in Lando Norris but in Lando. I‘m glad I found you, it feels like we have a different connection.“
”I feel the same, you know. It feels like we‘ve known each other for years already. And by the way, I‘m interested in you. Not Lando Norris the racing driver but the boy Lando, that lives in Monaco and loves spending time with his friend.“
He just smiled at you and kissed your forehead.
”I‘m happy you agreed to meeting me, I just wanted a quick fuck but I’m not gonna let you go now. I want to take you on actual dates and get to know you. I will schedule something for tomorrow night, yeah? After tire testing.“
”I‘d love that Lan.“
With that, he kissed your nose and you closed your eyes, kissing his chest.
”What do you want? Italien or something else?“
”Italien sounds good. Thank you.“
”I‘m gonna make a quick call.“
With that he got up, grabbed his phone, and went to another room to call a restaurant or something, you didn’t know. But with that short time, you grabbed your own phone and looked at the notifications, some from Instagram and other socials, and messages from friends and family. Your best friend's messages stuck out to you.
He returned, still naked and with his phone in his hand.
”We have a reservation at 7:00 pm tomorrow, wear something nice.“
”We have to get my stuff tomorrow before we go. When do we even leave and how? Spa isn’t exactly around the corner.“
”The helicopter takes off tomorrow at 11:00 am. That’s the easiest and fastest way. We can go to your hotel before we leave for the airport and gather your stuff, don’t worry.“
”And it’s really okay I‘m coming with you?“
”Yes baby, don’t worry. I invited you. What do they wanna do? Kick you out? Then I‘m out as well.“
”Okay“, you sweetly smiled at him and opened your arms. ”But now come cuddle again.“
He did just that, falling into your arms, and now he was the one settling on your chest, hugging you and you closed your arms behind his back as well. His arm reached for the nightstand, where he placed his phone and grabbed the remote control for the room. He pressed the button to close the curtain and then he turned on the lights, dimming them to create a nice atmosphere. Lando put the remote back on the table and caressed your side, which tickled slightly.
”What’s your favorite position?“
”Lando!“
”What? I need to know, this won’t be the last time I was in you“, he let out a laugh.
You giggled.
”Well, I like good old missionary. It’s underrated I think. Everybody is always saying that it’s boring, but is it too much to ask for that I want to look my partner in the eye or kiss him? But I also like speed bump, something where you are close to the other. If it’s just a one night stand I wouldn’t mind doggy. What about you?“
”I can only agree with you, I like missionary as well, I want to feel close to my girl or else I don’t need to have sex with her. As you said, a one night stand is a different story. But I also think that I‘m open to new things. I’d rather try out new stuff with my girlfriend rather than a stranger.“
”So I‘m not a one night stand to you? We fucked twice and it was only missionary. Technically I‘m a stranger to you.“
”But it doesn’t feel that way you know? As soon as you stepped through that door it was like meeting an old friend, I felt comfortable. And during sex, I just wanted to be close to you, hold and kiss you“, with that he left a kiss on your chest.
”You’re pretty sweet you know that?“
”How can I not when you’re around?“
You just smiled and combed your hands through his hair, enjoying the silence. After a while of just listening to each other's breaths you wondered what time it was, so you grabbed your phone and it was already 10:42 pm.
”Would you mind if I would get ready for bed? I‘m kinda knackered.“
”Go for it, I‘ll join you, I have to brush my teeth as well.“
With that, you both got up and you pulled your stuff out of your bag, putting the charger next to the bed and you took your toothbrush and your makeup remover with you to the bathroom, where you saw a through his phone scrolling Lando. When you walked in, he locked his phone and looked at you, smiling.
”I just asked Zak if it would be okay for you to come and he agreed, so you won’t be a bother tomorrow.“
”That’s nice, I‘ll thank him tomorrow.“
You both stood in front of the sink and you brushed your teeth together.
”It feels like we’re a married couple, brushing our teeth together“, Lando mumbled due to the foam that formed in his mouth.
You just nodded and noticed how true that was, it felt like a routine how you brushed your teeth together. When he spit the foam out and washed his mouth and face, he left with a kiss on the back of your head and the words: ”I‘ll wait for you on the bed.“
You took your makeup remover and removed everything you had applied to your face earlier, you indeed looked fucked out, smudged eyeliner and mascara, concealer that wore off due to you crying when you choked on his dick. You were a mess. So when your face was Makeup free and cleaned up, you returned to Lando in the bedroom, still naked by the way.
”Can I lend a T-shirt? I forgot to pack an extra.“
”Sure, you can grab the one I wore today, I swear I didn’t sweat in it.“
With a smile you looked for it and found it on the floor, you took it in your hands and pulled it over your head, secretly inhaling his scent that lingered on his T-shirt.
”You look cute in my stuff.“
You blushed and laid down next to him, plugging the charger in your phone.
”When is your alarm ringing?“, you asked, needing enough time to gather everything from your hotel room before taking off to spa.
”I think like 8:30 am? It’s pretty early but like that, you have enough time for packing your stuff in your hotel. I think it’s easier if I pack everything here and then we go together to yours. That way we won’t have to drive multiple times to our hotels.“
You nodded and cuddled into his side. He let his fingers slip through your hair, caressing it.
”Can I braid your hair?“
”What?“, you sat up.
”I want to braid your hair, I always saw my sister do it but I never was allowed to try it on their hair, they always said I would tangle it.“
”Do you even know how to braid hair?“
”Kind of? My ex girlfriend always asked me to do it but I never wanted to, but your hair is so gorgeous.“
You blushed at the compliment, he didn’t want to braid his model ex girlfriends hair but yours? Your hair hasn’t been braided in ages, it would be nice to feel that feeling again.
”Sure, it would be fun. I need to get my hairbrush first, they’re kinda tangled.“
You got up and went to your bag, where you kept a small hairbrush for emergencies. You quickly but carefully brushed your hair and sat on the bed, where Lando already waited for you.
”Three strands, and then just put one over the other, right?“
”Yeah, like that. Do you know in which order to put the strands over the other?“
”I think so, I‘ll just try it out.“
With that he combed through your hair with his fingers and created three strands, gently putting the right one over the middle one, repeating it with the left one.
”Can you pull it a bit tighter? That way it won’t be that loose.“
Before you could end your sentence he already pulled it a bit harder, now it looked better, he thought. He kept on braiding your hair until he came to the end.
”Do you have a hair tie?“
You grabbed one that hung around your wrist and gave it to him, feeling how he tightened it around your hair.
This moment felt so intimate, you found it hard to believe, you just met today. This was soulmate behavior, you got along perfectly.
”I think it’s decent.“
With that, you turned around a saw a smiling Lando.
”Wait let me take a picture of you.“
You blushed and mumbled an ’okay‘. He got his fancy photography camera out and instructed you to lie down.
”Lay down on your front, that way your face won’t be visible, just your hair and I can put it up on my jpg side.“
”You want me to be on there?“
”Sure, you’re a beautiful girl with an even more beautiful personality.“
”You’re a simp.“
”That’s not what you called me earlier tho.“
A grin slid across your face, when you thought about that moment. He wasn’t a simp when he was buried deep inside of you, that’s true. But the thought of you being on his jpg side gave you butterflies in your stomach, that meant you were a little special to him, you‘ve never seen a girl on there.
So you did just what he asked you to, laying down on your stomach, he made sure you could see your braid and you heard the camera click, indicating he took a picture. He took a few more pictures and then tapped your shoulder to tell you he was finished.
”Let me see!“
With that, he clicked on a button and the pictures he took appeared, it didn’t even look stupid, like a good Pinterest inspo even.
”You’re actually good at it. The braid looks good too!“
”Thank you love, but how can it be ugly when the muse is perfect?“
You pushed his chest and he fell down on the bed, the camera still in his hand. So before you could react he took a picture of you sitting on the bed on your knees and you let out a scream.
”What are you doing? I don’t look good, I‘m not even wearing makeup.“
”You don’t need makeup, you’re gorgeous without it, and I want to have a beautiful picture of you, is that too much to ask for? Pose for me baby.“
You let out a laugh and you heard the camera click. Next, you squeezed your cheeks with your hands, creating a little pout. Now he got up and put his left hand on your right cheek, cupping it gently, camera now full in your face, click. His thumb on your lips, click. You opened your mouth and sucked on his thumb, click. He put the camera away and removed his thumb from your mouth, pressing his lips on yours, his tongue entered your mouth and you fought for dominance.
”Baby you taste so good“, he whispered in between kisses.
A whimper left your mouth and you kissed him ever more, the more kisses that passed the filthier they got, creating loud smacking noises every time they met.
”I need you“, you moaned.
”You have me.“
You looked into his eyes and they got darker, now a lusty dark green. The excitement was very present in your pussy, due to you not wearing panties, you could feel your wetness forming and slowly dripping down.
”I want you out of my T-shirt and then I want to take a picture. Is that alright with you?“
You moaned at the thought of him taking pictures of you doing the deed. So the only thing you could do was nod your head.
”Words, baby, I need words.“
”Yes, Lando.“
”Good girl.“
With that, he pulled your T-shirt up and tossed it over his shoulder somewhere in the bedroom. He cupped your breast and kissed you. Taking the camera in his hand, while still cupping your boob, you heard the camera doing a click sound. Fuck this is so filthy.
”Look into the camera.“
You did what he asked you to, hearing a moan from him when you did.
”Fuck baby, you’re so hot and sexy, I hope you know it.“
He squeezed your nipple and let go of his camera, fumbling with his underwear, struggling to get it off. When he finally did, his cock sprung towards the ceiling, obviously being turned on by the filthy things you were doing. You laid on your back and spread your legs, he now got a good vision of your glistening pussy. Taking the camera back into his hand, he took a picture of you laying like that, and another of his thumb brushing through your pussy lips, collecting the juices you created again.
The room was filled with click sounds from the camera and your moans or heavy breathing. The sexual tension was almost unbearable in the room.
He now took his cock in his hand and smeared your wetness, that lingered on his thumb, on the tip of his cock, prepping it. Sliding into you, was one of his favorite things already. You could hear the camera click, taking pictures of his dick shoved inside of you, you couldn’t wait to see the pictures. He threw the camera to the side and now concentrated fully on you, moving in and out of you. With each thrust, you both came closer to your orgasm and when he circled your clit with his fingers, you were done for. Quickly he grabbed his camera and could take a picture of your face when you reached your climax. Eyes rolling back, mouth slightly open, and quiet little moans escaped your lips. Shortly after he pulled out and finished on your stomach, he rolled off of you and calmed down next to you. You wanted to clean his cum off of your tummy, when he let out a loud: ”No! I want to take a picture, give me a minute.“
You laughed and waited for him to recover, he snapped the picture and you got up and went into the bathroom, cleaning the mess up with toilet paper. Returning, you pulled the T-shirt from Lando over your head again and laid down, you were tired out from all the sport you did today. Lando also looked like he was tired out, ready to sleep.
”But now, let’s actually go and sleep, it’s late and we have to get up early tomorrow.“
You nodded and turned to lay on your side, facing Lando. He did the same, after turning off the light with the remote that laid on his bedside table and you both looked the other in the eye. Eventually, Lando pulled you close and you cuddled, until you both fell asleep in the other's arms.
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The next morning you woke up lying on your back, with Lando lying on his side, facing you. The brown haired boy was still fast asleep, his face relaxed and peaceful. You took a deep breath, smelling Lando everywhere, it was like taking a bath in his smell, a bath that you never wanted to get out of. Turning around, you looked for your phone, tapping the screen gently it showed 7:49 am, great, you had another fifty minutes of sleep and you weren’t even tired. With that you turned around again, showing your back to Lando and shuffling close to him. When your back met his chest, he laid his arm around you, even in his sleep he wanted to be as close as possible.
You did fall asleep eventually, Lando’s scent lulling you back to sleep. But a loud beeping sound woke you up again, after what felt like two minutes of sleep. You groaned and pressed your back more into Lando, who let out the same sound as you did. He turned his body to snooze his alarm and cuddled back into you. With you being pressed tightly against him, you could feel something hard pressing in your lower back, you didn’t need long to figure out what it was. You wanted to tease him a little and wiggled around, acting like you tried to get comfortable.
”If you don’t stop, we‘ll not make it today“, he growled. Letting out a chuckle you stopped and turned to face him. When you looked into his eyes you let out a: ”Good morning.“
”Morning baby. How did you sleep?“
”Very good, thank you.“
”We sadly don’t have all day in bed, we need to get up in like thirty minutes, I need to pack everything, we go to your hotel, pack everything, and then we leave for the airport at 10:30 am, where we take off at 11:00 am.“
”Okay.“
You put your hand on his cheek and stroked it.
”You are very handsome, you know that?“
”Not as gorgeous as you are, tho.“
You smiled and pecked his lips, letting your thumb glide over his eyebrow. You both were startled by the loud ringing of his alarm, he ended it and clicked on a button on his remote control to open the blinds and let more light in. He laid down on his back and opened his arm to come closer to him. And you did just that, cuddling to his side and stroking his bare upper body, slowly but surely your hand wandered lower to where his dick was.
”Baby I swear, if you don’t stop, we‘ll never leave.“
”I can give you a handie or a blowie, I won’t need thirty minutes for that.“
”But it’s only a morning boner, he‘ll go away soon. And I don’t want our relationship to be built on lust you know? I genuinely like you, and not only because you are fricking hot and you give good blowjobs.“
”I really like you too, you know. And I don’t want it either, but a boner is a boner and it would be a shame to waste it.“
You looked up at him and blinked in a flirty way. When he didn’t protest, you positioned yourself on top of him and freed his dick, which sprung towards you when he did. Saliva formed in your mouth at the sight, you didn’t waste any time and got to work, spitting on your hand, wetting it to gently jerk him off. When you touched him he let out a moan, you were some kind of magician, he was sure, a handjob never felt better. After you got him fully hard with your hand, you put your mouth on him, swirling your tongue around the head and helping with your hand on the rest that didn’t fit in your mouth. The louder his moans got, the closer he was to a release, you wanted him to cum, so when you cupped his balls and slightly tickled them he came with a loud moan, painting the insides of your mouth white. You swallowed like the pro you are and came back up to him, laying down on top of him. His arms closed behind your back and he kissed your nose.
”You’re incredible, you know that? Not only a gorgeous soul but also incredibly good at giving blowjobs.“
You both laughed and he gave you another kiss on the forehead.
”We need to get up, or else we will be late. Breakfast is at the circuit, is that okay or do you want to order something from the hotel restaurant?“
”I‘m good, don’t worry.“
With that, you got up and Lando followed you into the bathroom where you brushed your teeth, hair, washed your face, and got dressed in the sweats and T-shirt you had on yesterday. You didn’t bring any makeup with you, so you had to go barefaced for now, but that wasn’t a problem. You packed your stuff in your bag, which you brought and sat back on the bed after asking Lando at least five times if you could help him pack, which was five times denied, Lando scattered his stuff in his suitcase. In between you went, folded the clothes, and packed them back neatly, as well as sorted out everything else so they would fit and it would have a system. After twenty minutes he claimed he had everything and when you reminded him of the bathroom he rushed there and gathered everything. You could only shake your head at the way his brain wasn’t fully working in the morning, but in a cute way.
So when he was finally finished and zipped his suitcase, he said: ”You didn’t need to do that for me you know? I appreciate it anyway, thank you love.“ And he gave you a kiss on the cheek.
You made your way to the lobby and then outside, hopping in one of the many taxis that waited outside. Lando named the driver your hotel address and paid him generously after arriving. Both of you went up to your room and you started with doing a light makeup for the day, you didn’t want to look too caked up but a little bit never hurt anyone. You also changed into something fancier and looked not too much. Lando chilled on your bed just like you did in his room minutes prior. When you had everything packed, it was 10:28 am, just like Lando said, you had to leave for the airport at 10:30 am.
”I‘m done!“ and with that he got off the bed and took both of your suitcases in his hand, rolling them behind him.
”You do know that I can take my suitcase as well, you don’t need to.“
”But I want to, I wish I had another hand to hold yours but sadly I don’t.“
You smiled and went to the lobby where you again, hopped in a taxi that brought you to the airport. Due to traffic, you arrived at 10:49 am, giving you only ten minutes until the helicopter was to start.
”Lando, why are you so slow? We need to catch it.“
”Will you calm down? I don’t think the helicopter, that is specifically rented for me, will take off without me“, he laughed and when you thought about it, it did make sense, now you could only laugh after slowing down as well. When you arrived at the VIP check in, you were taken to the place where the helicopters were, one guy loaded both of your stuff in the back and another guy showed you what and what not to do on a helicopter, just a safety check. And when you finally sat in it, with your headphones on, you got butterflies. You were really doing this, going to spa with a boy you met the day before. He could easily kidnap you now, nobody would know, well your best friend would know. You had faith that he wouldn’t do such thing and before you knew it, you took off and flew through the air to another country.
The flight was fun, you and Lando talked without a break and took funny pictures, but only selfies this time. Which reminded you, that you haven’t had a look at the ones you took yesterday evening. So when you landed, a car picked you up and drove you to the circuit, the butterflies only intensifying now. You were about to meet people that were holy to Lando, what would he say? Would he introduce you? And if yes, as what? Girlfriend? No, you guys aren’t together. As a friend? Technically you weren’t even friends. As the girl, he chatted up on Raya and took her to spa because she‘s a good fuck? No, he couldn’t. But you reached the circuit before you could think about it more, the door opened, Lando got out and held his hand out to you to help you get out. You took it gladly and hopped out of the car, you thought he would now release his hand, but no. He kept yours in a tight grip when he started walking toward the entrance. You followed him and smiled. Holding his hand was a good feeling, you felt protected and safe, especially in this new surroundings. Walking towards the McLaren hospitality, you now were shaking with nerves, you didn’t even know why. Meeting new people always made you feel this way.
”Are you okay?“
”Yes, Lan. I‘m just nervous. Meeting your people and all that.“
”Don’t be, they‘ll love you. I spend a lot of time with them and I know how they are, you will love them too, they’re just like me.“
”Just don’t leave me alone for the first ten minutes please.“
”I‘ll never leave you, darling.“
With that, you entered the building and you were met with a lot of people. He immediately greeted everyone that came up to him to say hi, he even took a few minutes to chat with them. So when you made your way to the offices of Zak and Andrea, you were shaking again.
”Relax love, there are barely any people here. It’s not a race weekend, only tire testing with Pirelli.“
”Barely any people? Lando that place was filled with humans!“
”Yeah, but don’t worry, the garage won’t be as filled.“
You reached the offices and Lando knocked on a door, when the door opened you were met with Andrea.
”Morning Andrea! I just wanted to let you know that Y/N will be joining me today, I spoke with Zak and he said it wouldn’t be a problem.“
”Of course not! Welcome Y/N! How are you?“
”Thank you, I‘m good, a bit nervous, it’s a lot to take in.“
”Yeah I get it! Why weren’t you there on the weekend? You missed a good weekend!“
”Well I uhm“, you looked at Lando for help, what should you say?
”She wasn’t free so I took her today, I wanted her to see what I do“, Lando said for you.
”What a shame! Maybe you can come to a race after the summer break, it’s way better than just tire testing.“
”I‘d love to, thank you.“
With that, he said his goodbyes and went back to work, and Lando was already knocking on the other door, which belonged to Zak.
He opened the door and was met with the same smile Andrea had.
”You must be Y/N! It’s nice to meet you.“
”Thank you for letting me come. It’s also nice to meet you!“
”Ah don’t worry, Lando always has free spots for a plus one. What exactly are you to Lando? I’ve never seen or heard about you before, no offense.“
”None taken, uhm I‘m uhm, a friend of Lando’s?“
You wanted to sound confident but it came out more like a question, because you really didn’t know what you were.
”Yeah exactly, she‘s a good friend and we met in Amsterdam, I figured why not bring her you know.“
”I get it, I get it, well have fun Y/N. Maybe we‘ll see each other again.“
”Thank you, I hope so too.“
You squeezed Lando’s hand and he said his goodbyes as well and pulled you to his drivers' room.
”Wasn’t that bad, was it?“
”It was fine, yes.“
”Come on, meeting the guys will be easier.“
Due to the rain, he pulled a rain jacket over his hoodie and gave you one as well. You pulled it over and it was too big on you, but you loved an oversized look. So you went to the garage where people stood and worked a little on the car, just cleaning the remainders from the weekend.
”Guys this is Y/N, my uhm friend.“
Lando did the rounds with you and introduced you to everyone. They were lovely, they all welcomed you with open arms and made you feel comfortable. When it was time for Lando to make his way around the track, you had no trouble with staying with the crew and chatting.
It did get uncomfortable when one of his mechanics asked how the two of you met, but you said online, and judging by their looks, they understood what you meant.
After two hours Lando was done, he had already done his meetings and now was fully released for his summer break. He, again, took your hand and held it until you walked to the car, picking you up to drive to a hotel. You thought he would let go of your hand once you were in the car, but you were wrong. He held it even when you sat next to each other, talking and getting to know each other.
When you arrived at the hotel, Lando checked you in and you both went up to the room. It was a rather small room, but enough for one night. It now was 4:00 pm and you still had three hours until the date with Lando. Lando removed his shoes and jumped onto the bed.
”It’s bouncy, the last bed was hard, what do you think is better?“
”I think hard, when you fuck me, the whole bed will shake.“
He smirked and patted the space next to him, on which you laid down. When you cuddled into his side you noticed you tired you actually were, you didn’t catch much sleep during the week due to you working late and having to get up early, and last night, Lando kept you up for most of it. You needed a nap, and when you looked Lando into his eyes, you noticed that he felt the same.
”Should we take a nap? I‘m fucking tired.“
You nodded with your head, ”I was about to say the same actually.“
You both removed the denim you had on and now laid down on the bed again, cuddling under the blanket. You were glad he texted you, it felt like he was the best company ever and you only met him a day ago.
Two hours later you woke up, feeling completely out of this world, you needed a few minutes to figure out who and where you were. When you saw Lando being asleep, you thought about waking him up. After all the date would start in an hour but did he need that much time for getting ready? You doubt it.
So with that you got up and started to do a little heavier makeup look, nothing bad, just a touch up and the eyeshadow got a shade darker. You picked out the clothing for later and after thirty minutes it was time to wake Lando. With your hand on his shoulder, you started to quietly shake him.
”Lando, baby, wake up. It’s almost time for us to leave.“
You felt him stir and look at you with the same expression you had earlier, he clearly was somewhere else, so you laid down next to him and let him wake up in peace. After five more minutes, he finally came back and started getting ready as well. When he saw you in your outfit, you just put on, he couldn’t help himself but stare. He‘d never seen such a beautiful girl.
”You look fantastic baby.“
You could only blush.
The restaurant he chose was only a five minute walk, so you didn’t need to catch a taxi.
At 6:50 pm you left the hotel and made your way to the restaurant, Lando held your hand and you couldn’t feel more safe than now. It didn’t even bother you, when you passed a group of young men, which normally would have freaked you out.
When you arrived, the nice lady showed you to your table, it was in a more secluded area, where you two could have some privacy. Sitting down, the waiter came and took your drink order, after a few seconds you both settled for a fruity cocktail. The pizzeria wasn’t as filled with people as you had thought and you were thankful for it. You skipped through the menu while talking with Lando, he couldn’t choose either, too many yummy things were listed, and you eventually both settled on pizza. You could never go wrong with a pizza, could you?
You liked how easy things were with Lando, you never had a silent minute, and you were always talking about something. Learning new things from the other with every word. He was such a goofball, always making you laugh and giggle, as well as he was a gentleman, paying for the meal and helping you with your chair. He complimented you with everything you did.
When the pizzas arrived you only stopped talking, when the mouth was full, otherwise, you talked about your future plans, family, your jobs, hobbies, and whatnot. You couldn’t remember anymore, it was so natural at this point, that it felt like your hundreds date.
Lando ordered the bill and paid the meal, not listening to your protests of wanting to help him with that, he only gave you a stern look, but in a funny way. When you made your way out of the restaurant and into a park that was nearby, Lando wanted to ask you a question, he had on his mind the whole day.
”So will you come with me and my family on holiday?“
part three
#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris fluff#lando norris smut#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#formula 1
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i hate it when pandora is made out to be super mature and someone who 'wouldn't hurt a fly'. like no. the woman literally blew herself up, she is not responsible.
anyways here is how i interpret her
she has really bad grades but shes extremely smart. unlike regulus, pandora only really pays attention if the topic interests her. she doesn't care about the draught of living death but she does care about amortentia so in the exam, despite not remembering actually writing anything down or taking notes, she can list every trait and ingredient of it but then when there a question about living draught her mind goes fully blank.
and honestly i think she knows that grades aren't everything and what some silly test on paper shows nothing about her actual skills (and i think she would've ingrained that in luna too)
she is not a ravenclaw. im sorry but i dont think that pandora fits within that house. as we know, ravenclaws like to seek knowledge but i dont think pandora does - i think she loves the unknown (likely due to being a seer and having the curse of knowing too much) and she will only seek out knowledge only if she has to
she is a slytherin that doesnt intentionaly break the rules like barty. she just doesnt understand why there are so many stupid rules in place when there are way better ways she could get things done.
she is NOT a planner - if you ask her to do something she'll just shrug and give you the most ominous response known to man
she knew remus was a werewolf. - she has 0 evidence to back this theory like at all. she just had a feeling.
she has zero sense of danger.
'regulus i think your being paranoid. how could me going outside for a late night walk to investigate the loud howling on a full moon be dangerous? you cant die at hogwarts'
she purposefully messes with barty by pretending that she saw something about his future and making him believe it. and he falls for it every. single. time.
'barty!' 'what' 'be careful on your way to care of magical creatures.' 'what why?' 'PROMISE ME BARTY' 'dora. did you see something' *slow nodding*
barty was paranoid for the rest of the day
she has 5 bajillion hobbies (sewing, baking, juggling ect.)
everyone in the friendgroup is slightly afraid of her - they all feel like shes capable of things that no one should be capable of
she steals potion ingredients from slughorn and lets the marauders get the blame
(which they take because at this point they cant even remember what they did and didn't do)
she took care of magical creature
evan and pandoras parents are split.
evan lives with his dad, dads shiny new wife and little brother (i am gonna go into depth about this household in my evan characterisation)
their mum managed to get out and took pandora with her - mr. rosier pays them money to act like they don''t exist and that's exactly what they do
her mum is a healer who works super hard and is often exhausted but is kind and lets pandora explore the things she wants
evan and pandora were separated when they were four and couldn't get back in contact but when they went to hogwarts they immediately rekindled their relationship
pandora is increadibly emotionally intelligent and loves observing people and theyre mannerisms - she sees how tense dorcas gets whenever anyone talks badly about gryffindors and how regulus sneaks glaces at the gryffindor table when nobodys looking, she even noticed wolfstar first
but she will take all of this to her grave.
she doesnt feel the need to share it like gossip or even to confront the people its about. she just enjoys knowing and allowing the world to unfold around her.
she has a little box of things that she collects that she just loves
she can read taro and loves watching people reactions to each card
she also loves being a absolute menace and making up the most random shit for people
'aahh yes this card mean you shall be blessed with the spirit of a pelican and the vitality of a platypus' 'ooooh- wait what?' 'shhhh let the cards speak to you'
in history of magic, her and regulus' favorite thing to do is write little flirty notes and put them in the bags of people that they ships bag as if theyre from eachother - this is how rosekiller finally confessed confirmed.
she LOVES matching hair with evan
shes super protective over regulus
not one person in the school hates her. they just don't.
(i hope i didnt offend anyone with the intro or my opinions - at the end of the day its a fandom and theres no 'set' traits of the characters)
i am gonna continue to add to this when i have another headcannon to add xx
tags with no pressure (my fav blogs)
@crescenthistory @unconventional-lawnchair @thatdammchickennugget @fear-less @adalitas-coffeebreak-corner @g1rld1ary @rainydayathogwarts @sun-kissy
#lels headcannons#pandora#pandora rosier#headcannons#dead gay wizards#marauders era#marauders#the marauders#slytherin skittles#fuck jkr#pandora lestrange#rosier twins#characterisation#the slytherin skittles#the emeralds#slytherin#luna lovegood#pandora lovegood#lestrange family#evan rosier#rosier siblings#rosier family#pandalily
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Ayyy, there seems to be a lot of older people among the regular commenters of this blog so I'm gonna shoot my shot and ask for advice.
Idk if it's just the clinical depression but I can't help but feel like I'm never gonna find love as a straight girl. I don't hate men at all -- I've been very lucky to be surrounded by decent dudes growing up but shit. Lookin at the state of the world rn... Gen Z dudes chugging misogynist bullshit at alarming rates, women like Gisele Pelicot going through unspeakable shit from their own husbands... it's hard not to feel cynical. On top of that the decent dudes I know irl are all taken, I don't wanna go on dating apps, and as much as I wanna fuck an older man no decent one is gonna settle for a depressed young woman who's a 4 at best...
It's not that i don't have fulfilling friendships or that I don't value them, I just want to love and care for (and get dicked down by) a decent guy who feels the same way. I've always wanted that and I don't think it's changing anytime soon. Feels impossible though. I'm not sure if I'm the problem (I'm plain faced at best, no fashion sense or charm to speak of, though I do my best to be polite and kind) or there's just shit going on I've no control over.
--
People will give you a lot of placating nonsense, but the reality is that the supply of reasonably okay straight women is much higher than the supply of reasonably okay straight men. Finding a fulfilling long-term relationship is always hard anyway, but man... straight guys really need to step it up.
That said, a lot of people in general and straight guys in particular learn a lot from the breakdown of their first marriage/long-term relationship. Just because a guy is listening to godawful manosphere podcasts today doesn't mean he's never going to be dateable later.
Research on dating apps suggests that your average guy responds to pics where women have a lot of makeup on by looking for a hookup, passes by the ones with no makeup, and finds the ones with a little lipstick or something but not heavy makeup the most dateable.
While it would be nice if appearance didn't matter, if you're really worried about this, there are some basic things you can do where you'll get a lot of bang for your buck: Find one lipstick you can stand and learn to apply it. I like Bésame Cosmetics because I am a nerd and they sponsored a local film noir festival. Peggy Carter's lipstick was from them. They have the advantage of being intensely pigmented, so a quick swipe gives full coverage. I hate having shit on my face in general, so that's helpful. If eye stuff is less bleurgghhhh than lip stuff, learn to apply eyeliner instead. There are some liquid ones I really like even if it takes some practice to get decent at painting them on. You don't need a full face of makeup or really much of anything to read as Hot Girl™ to people who don't know anything about makeup and aren't paying much attention. Yes, even if you're a 4 and it's not just the depression talking.
Charm is hard. Some things can be taught, but a lot of that's innate. Fashion, however, is not. You don't need to be a fashionista to look better than a lot of the people around you. Save your money for fewer, better outfits. Buy things that fit well and get things tailored. Don't settle for ill-fitting clothes that don't make you feel good. Look for natural fibers and clothing that will last a long time. (And if you think you have sensitive skin that cannot handle natural fibers, you need to go up several price points on your cotton. Just saying.)
You can also increase your chances by doing activities where you meet more people who might be a good match. This means finding hobbies that actually have straight guys in them and going to in-person things where you meet new people. (This sounds obvious and pedantic, but I cannot tell you how many women I know who want a boyfriend but only do social things that are 95% women and 5% gay men.)
But the biggest thing you can do to stand out is... well... work on that depression. Self confidence and obviously being in a good place in your life are very attractive. Also, the good catches who haven't been snapped up tend to be the quiet, shy people. If you have your own shit together enough to detect and pursue them, you have a better chance of finding someone great.
I get that ~fix your depression~ is not helpful advice, but working on yourself in both important and relatively superficial ways is something you can control. Meeting the right person is not.
It might help to look at this as a 5-10-year goal and/or a lifetime goal, not a "Oh my god, my life sucks this year" problem. Yes, there's shit going on that you have no control over, but if that's your career and mental health and so on, you can work on that and be in a different place in a few years.
Frankly, I think a certain amount of cynicism is warranted, but that doesn't mean there are no decent guys or that you'll never find one.
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