#anyway that's it for venting on main

[ok-pop-1]

an evening doodle of a modern!war from @linked-maze :)

[vodid]

zero's pressure

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

[eilinelsghost]

So I ran across a (not particularly pleasant) conversation about my writing on someone else’s post the other day in which it was put forward that the correct way to frame Bëor’s wife was to erase her entirely and make his sons his nephews; also heavily implying a lack of creativity on my part (and a lack of commitment to the authenticity of Finrod and Balan's relationship) for not having utilized this "much easier solution that changes nothing much but allows for way less cringe".

I vented to friends and just moved on and tried to ignore it, but this particular aspect of the commentary has been bothering me so much that I'm going to take a moment for my own peace of mind to briefly address it here.

Bëor's wife is not a problem to be solved

The majority of women in the Silmarillion already exist as textual ghosts (Bëor's wife included). Why would the story be better served by eliminating her existence? One of the strengths of Silm fanfic that I've consistently appreciated has been the commitment to lifting women from the margins of the text and fleshing them out with full, complicated, and detailed identities. Her unspoken presence in the text is an opportunity to draw another woman forward into the narrative, not an excuse to erase them even further.

Furthermore, we know of Bëor's wife because of the existence of Baran and Belen. This suggested approach holds that they thus create a "problem" within the text for this particular story and the simplest solution should be to take her children from her and give them to someone else, all so that her husband can be free to fall in love without the encumbrance of her existence. Which leads me to the next issue.

Bëor's wife does not need to be erased to make Finrod/Bëor ok

The implication in these comments was that she needed to be scrubbed from the narrative in order for Finrod and Balan's relationship to be authentic or "monogamous." I'm not even going to get into the second part of that (which is...sure a take) but the authenticity of a relationship or the depth of someone's love is not determined by whether this is the only person they have ever been in love with. To be perfectly frank, that sounds more like the purity culture slop I was fed growing up than it does like the desire to uplift and enhance the queer relationship in the narrative that the op seemed to indicate was their intent.

It matters that the House of Bëor are the actual descendants of Bëor

This is a key point in the arc of the Silmarillion itself, but focusing just on what this means within a Finrod/Bëor context, it matters that the House of Bëor - who are consistently loyal to Finrod, who sacrifice to save his life, and for whom he eventually sacrifices his own life - are the offspring of the man for whom he crossed wisdom and wedded despite the chasm of sundered fates. They are how Bëor lives on even after Finrod's irreparable loss. Caring for them - dying for them - is a large part of how he carries Balan forward with him through the years of solitude and how he remains true to his love long after they are sundered.

There is a good deal more I could go on about, but I did say this would be brief, so I should leave it there.

[angelpuns]

Deep deep fear that one day all my friends are gonna decide they just don't wanna talk to me anymore for whatever reason and unfortunately, I won't get the memo and will keep trying and that'll just make them hate me more :(

[paracosm-draw]

I've been reflecting on why I love Anakin's character so very much and I've come to realize that specific parts of me can relate to specific parts of him

Not the maniacal children killer parts don't worry

More like the weird teenage boy parts (even though I'm not really a teenager anymore)

We share the same curse of feeling too intensely and having a mind that never sleeps, feeling like being too much and not enough at the same time, not really knowing how to make friends and keep them, having to learn how to behave socially by imitating people's behaviour, hyperfixating on things in cycles, feeling lonely and anxious all the time and isolating instead of asking for help, being hard to love but willing to, needing validation and seeking usefulness because you can't be loved if you're not useful, seeking purpose in a world which is not meant for dreamers

There are lots of parts of him I can't relate to, fortunately

But still he's so very precious to me and the way people write about him always makes my heart clench a little

Last time someone commented on one of my fic that one specific line about him hit too close to home and maybe it's just about that

About finding your personal fictional little trinket, the one you keep in your pocket like a good luck charm and get out when you need to find yourself again

Or words able to dissect what's happening in your head and knowing that there's someone out there writing them and maybe feeling the same as you

Anyway I don't even know what is the point of this post, maybe just to tell people to continue to proudly love and speak and read and write about their comfort characters because they're here for that, to make you feel less alone in this ridiculous universe

[trashwarden]

everything feels bad and I'm trying to find it in me to delete my twitter and insta accounts. So far I only deleted the apps and I guess I'll try to be more active in here and on bsky but I'll see

[ironicsoap]

you are expendable, you are not expected to return

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

That's... Still using the stone. That's still one genocider using the souls of the people he murder-transmuted to heal a different genocider and his cronies so that they could attain the class positions they desired. Whether the energy of the stone is what healed Musked-Stank or whether it was a bargaining chip is irrelevant to the point of absurdity.

A lot of mangahood fans just stubbornly refuse to see the actions of their beloved blorbos as the racist, fascist bullshit it is.

[cappycodeart]

I got tired of circling back to frustration over my nitpicks on the f&c series so I OC’d my boy. Whoops. 😅💦. I'll still post stuff in the future about the AT version because I still have a lot of doodles I haven't posted yet and doodle ideas I want to draw!!... Buuuuuut in the meantime my brain gears have been turning hardcore over incorporating this version into my OC-verse... he's a silly astronaut now <3

[carnelianwings]

I keep seeing Bad Kira Yamato Takes on Twitter and I keep asking myself why do I bother with the For You page except I’ve got it mostly trained to show me fan art of my favorite ships and such so I guess that’s the trade off.

Anyway, just venting because I happen to think Kira, for all the accusations the haters like to throw at him, is a very reasonable and human Gundam Protagonist. Also unlike Amuro Ray he never actually runs away from fighting … until Seed Freedom (but that’s more like “there’s multiple people to pick up where he left off and there’s plenty of reasons why he should just retire”).

I really don’t get the hate towards Kira in Seed. There is nothing he does that any previous Gundam protagonist hasn’t done. Survive improbable situations thanks to the power of Plot Armor? Heero Yuy’s done that at least three between Wing and Endless Waltz - the most egregious one in Wing when he self destructed his Gundam while standing on the cockpit hatch. I mean sure there was also the time he set his own broken leg but that’s also besides the point. Improbable speed at learning to pilot a Gundam? Amuro Ray did that and that was the original.

At the same time, people like to say Kira didn’t suffer and just coasted through Seed. As though he didn’t have to helpless watch as Tolle dies, nearly kills a childhood best friend over it, gets PTSD just from fighting a war, and then more PTSD from dealing with Durandal, and also general trauma of being in an abusive relationship with Flay (that has repercussions into his relationship with Lacus well into Seed Freedom). Kira might not have started Seed traumatized the way both Athrun (Junius Seven/Bloody Valentine) and Shinn (First Battle of Orb) were, but he still had personal trauma nonetheless. And even though it’s not explicitly shown on screen, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kira feels guilty about what happened to Shinn even if Kira himself wasn’t directly at fault for it.

And to say that Kira’s goal isn’t the same as Lacus’s (world peace) along with basically with everyone else he’s teamed up with is just terrible comprehension because everyone involved with Cagalli (and Athrun, by extension) and COMPASS wants world peace and the wars to just stop.

Honestly, I think the best damned thing that happened to Kira ever since he got drop kicked into the cockpit by Murrue (not her fault, it was either that or let the civilian kid die and she wasn’t about to do that either) is being able to just fuck off and fly to Akatsuki Island at the end of Seed Freedom and have victory sex on the beach with Lacus, because he really hasn’t had time to do what he wants for himself since then. Because every time there’s a chance of it happening, he was either getting manipulated by Flay, working (as a programmer), or recovering from trauma. Like he’s been at this for 4 years with hardly a break because (by Seed Freedom) he feels like he has to, both as the Ultimate Coordinator (as in, he has the ability to so he must), and as part of what he said to Durandal at the end of the Battle of Messiah. And because he is so busy and being part of COMPASS has actually meant he and Lacus spend more time apart, he can’t really lean on her the way he used to during the First and Second Earth Alliance-PLANT wars.

Really if I were being honest I’d actually say the only reason Kira’s been “okay” during both Seed and Seed Destiny is because Lacus has been there to be something of a therapist for him (especially during Seed Destiny with how he very obviously has PTSD from the first war). But the reason Lacus is willing to do this for him is because she’s got shades of philosopher-therapist to begin with, and she knows he’s actually very kind and caring underneath it all and isn’t a soldier at all, and doesn’t belong on the battlefield (from how he treated her during her time as a prisoner on the Archangel early on before he got really traumatized by the war).

And also Kira’s a crybaby? Okay so crying because a friend died is a bad thing? Crying because you’re suddenly thrown into a war you never wanted to be a part of and having to kill people because it’s kill or be killed even though you don’t want to kill anyone is a bad thing? Crying because you’re scared but you have to go out and fight anyway because if you don’t, you, your friends, a whole bunch of civilians, and other people (even if they’re military and they signed up for this, but some of them have been really nice and tried to be caring given the situation and aren’t actually bad people at all) will die is a bad thing? To me those are just reasonable, human responses to the situation he’s suddenly thrust in. Like yeah sure the Strike is a cool robot and all that, but to quote Athrun, it’s not like Kira can just “go fight a war with a smile” you know?

[i-am-creacheur]

I wanna be a guy but like. Not in a gender way. In the "playing video games on the Xbox at 3 am with all your friends on call" way. In the "not afraid to walk down the street in the dark" way. In the "childhood friends who stay in touch after years, or college buddies who pick up right where they left of even after getting jobs on different coasts" way. In the "I have complete control over my body and won't be hunted down for liking girls" way. In the way that the world might have been a bit kinder to me if I was just born with a dick and balls. But no I get to bleed every month, make less money, get taxed more, and live in constant fear.

[tangledinink]

i dont think i really wanna do anything anymore is the thing.

[lannisterdaddyissues]

god why am i so fucking stupid. having adhd is truly a curse and i hate bearing it

[smalltimidbean]

... It really has not been my month...

[stardestroyer81]

Can I offer you a nice transfem sheep in this tryin' time? 💙🏳️‍⚧️✨