#anyway if i have to suffer through these thoughts so do all of you
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catghoul31 · 1 day ago
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Mandatory Snuggles
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Wade had to go on a mission for a bit too long, in Logan’s mind. For this terrible crime, he is sentenced to snuggle jail for 5,000 years.
(For @poolverine-week Day 6: feral behavior)
No CWs this time, besides light-hearted canon typical behavior
Read it under the cut or on ao3!
“Logan? I’m back! Just killed a shit ton of people so we can make rent this month!!”
Normally, Wade’s entrance would be greeted by at least some sort of acknowledgement from Logan. A grunt if he was tired, a once-over to check for injuries- at least, the ones that took longer than a few seconds to heal- maybe even a kiss? He was really hoping for that last option today, it had been quite the adventure…
Instead, he got Blind Al barely nodding at him, mumbling something under her breath about how she ever got herself into Wade’s fucked up life- but thanks for getting us money this time, sweetheart- and Mary Puppins jumping on his leg as she usually did. Wade welcomed both greetings, especially the latter as he scooped the wrinkly dog into his arms and let her lick the remaining blood off of him, but where was Wolvie? His precious peanut? The best mutant ever and the light of his life- he always greeted him at the door! Something was up today…
“Wolvie?” he called out, still to no response. Huh- maybe he’d fallen asleep. He probably should’ve thought about that, actually, it was quite likely… at least, it would be if this wasn’t an afternoon hit! Those were always risky as fuck, and it was Logan dutifully cooking dinner whenever he got home from one of those that always brightened his spirits afterwards. He was the best boy ever, always doing the most for him and their little family, and he’d take the claws in his chest every single time he reminded him- even when he was distracting him from said cooking- because it was true!!
An afternoon nap wasn’t out of the question, though. It wasn’t like Wade was mad at him for not cooking, he’d never asked him to in the first place! No matter how many times he told Logan that he didn’t owe him anything, he still worked as if he did… ‘Worst Wolverine’ my ass!! Still, though, this was a different routine, and that couldn’t ever mean anything good!! It could mean that his little honey badger was suffering, or worse. Logan… hated him? Logan wanted him to rot on the street now? After eight months of being his boyfriend?? What other reason would he have to not give him a kiss after work? Surely it must be true. Wade went to check their shared room, just to be sure, and-
Oh. Oh my god. He would’ve taken a picture of this if he could, but why did this have to be the day his phone broke??
In the middle of their bed was Logan, curled up and purring in a pile of Wade’s clothes. He was wearing a pair of his sweats to boot- and did I mention that the entire room smelled like Wolvie right now?? It was the best smell ever- to my nose, at least. If only AO3 had a scratch-and-sniff feature… Wouldn’t that be something? Anyways, he was purring away in the clothing pile, clutching desperately to one of his many plushies- it looked like Hops the Frog was the lucky guy today!- but he didn’t seem completely content. Or completely asleep, either. Poor Logan’s face looked all scrunched up, and he was writhing around trying to get comfortable- kinda like the first few nights they spent together! What was he doing? More importantly… how was his Wolvie feeling??
“Hey, baby boy,” Wade cooed innocently enough, but Logan’s eyes still shot open and locked with his, daring him to say a word. Or were they? He wasn’t moving from where he was- if anything, he’d pressed his face further into the flannel shirt it was next to, breathing deeply through his nose… Ohhh! Did his kitty miss him? Was that the problem? This would be a quick fix, then… if Wolvie would let him in without any claws right now, that is.
“I’m back! I mean, you can probably see me, can’t you? How… how are you feeling, Wolvie?” he asked in a much softer tone than he’d normally use in a situation like this. Logan let out a low, quiet groan, serving as his only response to that question… Wade took off his own mask, the slight dampness in Logan’s eyes now noticeable to him. Oh, poor kitty… He really hoped he didn’t worry him too much, with how long his job had gone today, but it seemed like it was too late for that now. Right now, Wade needed to help his scrunkly scrimblo pookie bear feel better… Did he know what any of those words meant? Nope! But they were all Logan nonetheless.
The sad ball of Wolverine on his bed turned around, trying his best to hide his face from the world, and especially Wade. He knew how this went by now, as Logan still thought this side of himself was weird and embarrassing to witness. When he’d told him that the first time, Wade laughed and kissed his forehead gently- he was the poster child of all things weird and embarrassing! Logan had absolutely nothing to worry about, especially not if his big, dark secret was this adorable.
“Aw, peanut- if you wanna talk about it, I’m always down for a trauma-dumping session! I can take a load of emotional release dripping down my neck and chest any day…” Logan huffed, turning around briefly to shoot Wade a glare before curling in on himself again. If only he knew how to talk to anyone like a normal person. “Or not! You can just sit there, all comfy like the big kitty cat you are, and I can go get us some chimichangas! How about that?” he asked, giving Logan a minute incase he wanted to respond…
Still nothing. Damn! Usually, calling Wolvie a kitty (y’know, because he IS!!) always got a response from him. Claws through his shoulder, a grumble of “stop calling me that” or “that’s not even close to what a wolverine is, Wade, doesn’t make any damn sense-“ it all depended on the mood, really. This afternoon, it didn’t seem like Logan wanted to do anything except bury his face as far into those pink-hearted pajama bottoms as he could. Couldn’t he do that while he was wearing them…? Well, not right now, he couldn’t. Because it was sad Wolvie hours, apparently. And it was all his fault, so if he didn’t want to talk about it or eat about it…
Wade leaned over the bed to touch Logan’s head, rubbing the hair there gently. “What does my little Wolvie want, hm?” he asked him, as though he was talking to their dog instead- just before two massive arms leapt forward and pinned Wade to Logan. “AHH!! Shit, Logi, you could’ve just asked!!” he yelped, trying to wriggle himself into a comfier position against the heavier man- to absolutely no avail. “Not that I would ever say no to you, of course…”
If Wade shifted his head just so- tilted it upwards as much as he could, with it being smushed against his shoulder by an insistent hand, he could see Logan, as cute and dangerous as ever. His expression was uncharacteristically soft, and how could Wade forget that gorgeous rumbling he felt against his own chest? His purring… so loud and deep today, it was like he’d been gone for a month or something! It always felt so good against his sore body, though, that it made him want to press up against a happy Wolverine until the end of time…
“There’s my Wolvie… Did you miss me? I know, how dare capitalism keep me away from you, but I’ll always come back! I literally can’t disappear forever, and you know it…” Wade yammered on with that same loving tone, going to scratch Logan’s fluffy beard once he got one of his hands free. His purrs only increased, leaning into his palm and rubbing his chin against it insistently.
Once his hand was acceptably covered in Wolvie scent, Logan pressed his face against Wade’s neck, rubbing against it over and over. Wade knew that Logan doing this was just as much to cover himself in Wade’s scent as to scent-mark him possessively, and his heart melted into a puddle every time he did it. Now that his hair was thoroughly within reach, Wade couldn’t resist playing with it, especially when it made Logan purr even louder… After a few seconds of them doing this- so much petting and nuzzling anyone could confuse this scene with the average hotel room of two AnthroCon attendees- the tension in Wolvie’s body seemed to loosen considerably, making Wade smile with relief.
He leaned down, kissing the top of Logan’s head several times in rapid succession. Wade’s heart could’ve exploded at the way they made Logan melt in his arms... “See? You are a kitty, Wolvie! So demanding of my attention… I wonder what would happen if I pulled away for juuust a second-“ As soon as Wade’s hand left Logan’s head, he felt a hand reach back to push it back down, claw tips sticking out and everything!! “Hehehe, yep, I knew it!! So needy… You couldn’t even wait for me to come back to smell me again?” Wade’s clothes were still strewn about around Logan, one of his shirts wrapped around his neck. Wade knew he wouldn’t be washing that one for a while...
When Wolvie pulled back, he held Wade’s face firmly with both of his big hands (paws!!) and kissed him roughly. Wade sighed happily at the rough show of affection, feeling the desperation in the way Logan licked at his lips and returning his feverish pace as they made out passionately. Usually, Logan would’ve been the first to pull away, but Wade had to push at the fluffy bastard’s chest after a long while to free himself. Maybe he could die of suffocation via Wolvie kisses another time!
What certainly wouldn’t do, though, was the look of shame that barely flashed across Wolvie’s face the moment their lips parted. Wade never wanted Logan to feel like he was being too much- au contraire, he could never have enough of him! “Wolvie, sweetie pumpkin, look at me…” He caressed Logan’s face as he did as he was told- good boy, such a sweet boy… Wade kissed his forehead, booping his nose with his thumb at the same time. “Love you, kitty,” he mumbled, and though he wouldn’t hear the words back for a couple more hours, the way Logan pressed himself to his chest told Wade all his heart needed to hear.
“Sorry for not texting back, by the way. My phone got smashed to bits by an evil landlord. Yes, I know that’s redundant, dear reader, but this one liked to curb-stomp puppies! Oh, it was bad…”
Logan just kept purring away in his arms as he spoke nonsense as usual, but in the distance, Wade heard Blind Al find the wreckage he’d left on the counter- “This is the third one this month, Wade! God damn it all…”
Much to her chagrin, neither Logan nor Wade could bring themselves to care right now.
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sandsoftide · 1 day ago
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Haven’t seen enough people talking about why timebomb and specifically ekko also suffered from arcane s2 being bad. Spoilers and crit
I’ll say more in depth later when I have gone back and revisited it with a clearer head and let me make it entirely clear I LIKE timebomb in concept. Much like caitvi. Like I see the vision I just don’t like a lot of the creative choices
Ekko in s1 was a REVOLUTIONARY he built the firelights w his own two hands and was sort of a foil to jinx and silco, he hated them but he wasn’t going to roll over to piltover either. He wanted independence but not through exploitation. He was a leader and a caretaker and mature beyond his years bc he was forced to be. And he hates Jinx bc she reminds him of that trauma and he’s betrayed by what she became like there’s SO much there look at it
In s2 he goes “hm my tree is being weird” and then gets sucked into the timey wimey thing and disappears for a whole act and the firelights aren’t even MENTIONED (and ik he wasn’t a major character in s1 either but like, he was still important and relevant to the plot throughout bc of the firelights?)
Then he gets sucked into this au portal (cool concept and cool execution) and falls in love with powder or whatever. And she ISNT JINX. SHE IS NOT THE JINX WE KNOW BC JINX IN MAIN TIMELINE IS FULLY BUILT FROM HER EXPERIENCES AND TRAUMA AND MENTAL ILLNESS. Like what Jayce said to viktor that’s part of her whether it hurts her or not. Her trauma doesn’t define her but it’s a part of her! And then all of a sudden Ekko’s sad bc he misses jinx (who iirc last time he met they had the whole I hate you and I miss you talk and they fought and both thought the other dead or whatever?) and then he’s talking her off the ledge even though he has absolutely no reason to! Because he DOESNT KNOW HER he knows literally nothing she’s done since s1 finale!!! Even the “jinx as a symbol for revolution” stuff from act 1 that went nowhere he would know NOTHING ABOUT bc he basically immediately went to Jayce? And they never did the revolutionary jinx stuff that was implied w the flag waving either so there’s no connection there either
Like a full episode was spent developing timebomb and it was interesting but also contributed nothing bc that is not jinx. She just feels like a mpdg and he doesn’t feel like ekko bc he needs to be in love w her for the plot? So they do absolutely nothing interesting they could for timebomb and still make it the entirety of ekko’s plot while tossing out the firelights and the zaun v. Piltover plotline as a whole
i mean again its hard to say bc this is right. objectively. like the stuff w timebomb was objectively well written. i just feel like it doesnt give ekko the space to be his own character outside of the ship? my point isnt that the stuff was poorly written i actually enjoyed it a lot and i think they did a good job w it i just also feel like it does ekko a disservice to have that be his only plotline and how it doesnt feel like it connects to his character in s1
i feel similarly about other plots in s2, like mel's. like yes this is good stuff! i love seeing mel in the spotlight the black rose magic stuff is interesting in a vacuum but also its totally separate from the interesting thematic roles in s1 that dealt with AGAIN THE CLASS CONFLICT AND POLITICS and dropping that for something different feels. like its a disservice to the characters, i guess?
also by having the timebomb development take place primarily in an au with powder and NOT jinx we dont really get to see jinx's thoughts at all. it feels like a repeat of s1 where someone is trying to save POWDER and not jinx, they dont see her as who she is now but rather who she was or could have been. which couldve been interesting to explore but they clearly werent interested in that ANYWAYS
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pumpkin-spice-serval · 23 hours ago
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TADC Episode 4 Predictions
I made these November 9th and shared them on Instagram, they're slighly outdated post-trailer, but I thought I would post them here anyways :D I'll put in orange any new thoughts I had as of the trailer today (btw I had a hunch that this would be the Spudsy's episode due to the whole TADC café thing). I'll also put my new predictions at the bottom:
Caine makes an adventure where the humans have to work at “Spudsy’s” and serve NPC customers (seems I got this one right)
Puts Gangle in the “manager” position (this one too)
Zooble decides to join the adventure for once, perhaps? My thoughts are maybe this is because Zooble is closest to Gangle in the circus, and Gangle wants some moral support from Zooble during this adventure because of her big role, and they oblige (Zooble is part of the adventure and it seems Gangle interacts with them in one of the scenes... so! This might be right! Abstragedy shippers rejoice!)
But yeah I really do have a hunch that they have a good friendship and we will see that in this episode
Gangle uses her power as manager to give Jax the worst possible tasks/jobs, Zooble is very entertained by this and eggs it on, thus Gangle gets a bit carried away (I still think this might happen lol)
Jax snaps and goes to tell Ragatha about the “figurine thing” (nothing about the trailer shows this coming up, but we shall see)
My theory is this is something harmless albeit a bit Tumblr-coded LOLL she probably has mini figures of all the circus members and role-plays scenarios with them, like ships, or her whacking Jax or something, and one time Jax walked in on it and used it as blackmail
I feel like maybe Jax and Ragatha will get into an argument during this episode as a sort of prelude to their two consecutive episodes–I think their characters are heavily linked to one another and we will get more foreshadowing of that in ep. 4 (I was talking about a more serious argument, this might happen, but it seems the episode is very Gangle centric so I might be wrong)
Zooble apologizes to Gangle at the end of the episode, for getting caught up with harassing Jax vs. actually being good moral support, Gangle forgives them of course
Updated Predictions:
Gangle seems to have a very different personality in this episode. She also seems to go through a little bit of an emotional crisis. I have always wondered if Gangle is some type of neurodivergent (numerous possibilities here from social anxiety, to long term depression, to autism, etc., I definitely feel there's something there) and may be "masking" her true self because she's scared to open up, especially because of Jax. That's why she's so nervous without the comedy mask, it's like a security blanket to her, and it also may be why Caine gave her a new mask, trying to help but instead fuelling her issues with self image and giving her a toxic positivity issue.
Adding onto that, I think that's why we may see her having a mental break during the episode, and perhaps confiding in Zooble about it, feeling like a failure or like no one cares about her or would like the real her. Zooble, feeling out of place themself, would definitely be the type of person to comfort Gangle, if in a more calm and pragmatic way.
I noticed Gangle getting into a possible argument with Ragatha, of all people, in the trailer. I also think Ragatha has a sort of fake positivity to her, not in the manipulative sense, but in the people-pleasing sense, and the denial sense. She is trying to cope by being as upbeat as she can but that can only go so far. We can see her suffering with burnout, and Gangle definitely is not helping. I think that Gangle will be a sort of foil for Ragatha in this episode, showing her that being too positive and chipper can cause other people around you to feel worse, not better.
Caine has a "suggestion box" in the trailer, and it seems like it's filled to the brim. I think, as a B-plot, we will see Caine have a bit of his own identity crisis, stressing over the fact that there's so many things the digital circus members want to be done differently by them, and he'll be in a frenzy to figure out how to fix it. Definitely some good potential for his development here!
Finally, I think we will get some more insight into Zooble in this episode, through the lens of Gangle. I already discussed this a little, but I feel like it's implied that they're friends in the trailer (although I have an abstragedy bias, so I could be wrong). I think Zooble may open up more about their identity and insecurities in an attempt to help Gangle work through hers.
Well, that's my analysis and predictions, I hope you enjoyed reading them!! :D
Kit
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voidspiraling · 2 days ago
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Omg Till is so cute whattttttt. Excuse my brain rotting I just needed to get this out of my system.
LOOK AT THEM SO CUTE
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ALL OF THEM SO CUTE!!!!
Ahem.
Now time for some serious analysis 🧐 (I don’t rlly get anywhere tho so less of an analysis and more just me asking a bunch of questions hoping for an answer from the void)
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One thing I noticed aside from how cute Till is his eye bags.
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This baby Till doesn’t have eye bags yet, so we can conclude that Till was starting to become sleep deprived after the age of 3 and before the age of 8. (I’m just making a guess based on the pics of their age Till could be 12 in that picture I truly couldn’t tell you)
Now what does this mean when a child is continuously sleep deprived by a stupid alien?
Impacts Behaviors: Harder to pay attention, prone to mood swings, and increased impulsivity (Yep that’s Till)
Impacts Mental Health: Increases the risk and severity of depression and anxiety (What do you know that’s also Till!)
Impacts Brain Development: Negatively affects the memory and intelligence parts of the brain (Do you guys remember that brain scan that showed a brain suffering from trauma?)
As you can see from an early age Till was already put through the wringer before he even got a bruise. I say this because sleep deprivation is extremely torturous regardless of whether it’s forced or self inflicted. Mentally and physically not getting enough sleep fucks up every aspect of your life. The lack of sleep could be bc Till was staying up late, it was noted by other Anakt kids that Till kept them up at night bc he was practicing his music. It could also be bc Urak forced him to stay awake.
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Like when he made Till watch videos of a younger Luka. Overall my heart broke once again at the way they treat a literal baby. Another thing I want to point out is their necks.
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I’m leaving out Ivan cuz he doesn’t wear the collar anyways. But Mizi and Sua both wear the standard (I’m assuming standard bc they’re the most common) collars both lit up green. They’re living in a little bubble and while they look cute, knowing how their story goes makes them look uncanny. Anyways this is the collar most of the kids wear.
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But Till is wearing a different collar and also is wearing a green patch. It always made me curious why he has different collars compared to the rest. Like I get it’s bc of the fact that he rebels a lot so he has a lot more restraints. But this collar is thinner and more metallic than the other ones. You’d think that if they were trying to punish him more they’d give him a bigger collar or a more restrictive one. They forced him into one that restrains his arm to his torso and one over his mouth. But this is just a thin collar that he wears on stage and it doesn’t seem to have any function other than to be a small collar. It also doesn’t show a mood indicator like the other ones do. I guess bc Urak doesn’t care what Till is feeling so he didn’t bother getting that feature. But it also makes it ambiguous what Till is feeling. In the picture while Mizi and Sua look happy, and Ivan looks focused, Till looks shocked and perplexed about writing in the air. (And adorable but when doesn’t he look adorable?) Anyways I can’t for the life of me figure out why his loser alien would get a custom collar that is so simple. From what I’ve gathered abt that freak he grew up in the slums but due to his greedy nature and inability to have compassion was able make it big by doing illegal shit. So maybe it was cost effective to just make simple collars instead of getting the standard one? What a cheap bastard.
Another thing that confuses me is the green patch on his neck.
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Just what is this? My first thought went to nicotine patches and insulin patches. But those aren’t suppose to go on the neck, usually on the arm. Then as I did my daily watch of Round 6 I noticed that Till has been injected with unknown substances through his neck.
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My guess is that the green patches are injecting him with some type of drug. And because the skin around the neck is so fragile the drugs can seep through easier. (It’s completely unsafe but in line with how the loser alien acts)
There are two possible explanations.
One is that Till has become addicted to the drugs they pump him with. And in order to keep him normal and keep him from showing withdrawal signs they use the green patches like a nicotine patch. Drugs have been used by artists as a way to further their craft. Some have even become reliant on it in order to make art. There’s a sense of enlightenment as well, some use it as a way to gain a new perspective on life. I personally can’t understand using drugs for that purpose, but some of the greatest works of art have been created through the use of substances like these. So it’s possible that Urak in his attempt to create a weapon that could topple Luka tries to make Till produce songs using that method. Such as injecting a bunch of drugs and leaving him in a room to write songs.
Two is that they use the green patch as a way to sedate Till, or as a way to enhance his performance. As evident by just looking at Till you can tell he’s running on fumes when he’s on stage. So maybe as a way to push past his limit they drug him so that he can keep performing even when his body is at its limit. The patches are only seen in Round 2 but that could explain why Till got a nosebleed when he was performing in Round 7. His body was finally catching up to him.
Alternatively they could just be there to cover up the wounds from injections while also looking cool lol.
As you can tell I am very confused ;-; but also very curious abt these experiments. They seemed to be focused on the throat and mouth which makes me think they’re trying to modify how these kids sing. Like are they trying to make it so that they can sing outside of their vocal range? Are they trying to make it so that they can sing without having to breath? Or maybe the drugs can affect their literal genes. I know human editing is a procedure in Alien stage universe but what does that actually mean? Can you edit their appearance? Their personality? Their memory? Their thoughts?
My attempts at analysis have only left me with more questions.
Thanks for reading byeeeeee
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wishmemel · 1 year ago
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thinking about back to december from satoru's pov.
"You gave me roses and I left them there to die"
thinking about him feeling suffocated after so many things go awry in his life (with suguru, the higher ups, yuuji, etc.) and him pushing you away because of that. thinking about him not realizing that he needed you more in those moments only because he wanted to make himself suffer by being alone even though you tried to communicate so many times that you were right there beside him. thinking about him knowing that you were trying to be there for him and support him but that only made him feel worse. he thought he'd bring you down with him if he stayed. he knew you felt like a ghost in your shared house and he couldn't do anything about it because he was so absorbed in his own issues at the time.
"So this is me swallowin' my pride / Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night / And I go back to December all the time"
thinking about him breaking up with you in a lonely december when couples are going ice skating and drinking hot chocolate together and staying in cuddling and everything reminds you of him. when the blankets of snow everywhere make you think of his white hair so much so that you start despising winter. thinking about him coming back and apologizing so much that you get frustrated telling him that his apologies mean nothing to you now. thinking about him giving up everything for you, getting down on his knees and begging you to take him back. thinking about how you find him so pathetic now when he used to be your sun.
"It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you / Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine / I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright"
thinking about him leaving you and coming back years later to try to repair everything he'd broken after he left. him regretting all the ways he hurt you, every time he heard your hopeless tears and did nothing about them. him constantly showing up in places where you frequent even though he knows you don't want to see him again. imagine going out to get coffee and he's already there, slouched at a table with both your orders. as soon as you walk through the door, he perks up with the biggest puppy dog smile. him constantly trying to make it up to you through small gifts or big gestures just to see you smile at him again. finding excuses to show up to your apartment. one day you mentioned that your kitchen sink was broken and he stayed up all night watching youtube videos so he could come over the next day and help you figure it out. thinking about you smiling hesitantly at him for the first time in forever and he's dumbstruck, falling in love with you all over again like it's the first time you two are meeting.
"And how you held me in your arms that September night / The first time you ever saw me cry"
thinking about him reliving all your memories in his head over and over again, remembering the way you held him after suguru died. the way you watched the strongest sorcerer cry for the first time, falling apart in your arms. thinking about the way he finally realizes you were the one. you always had been but he'd been looking at you with his eyes closed. thinking about all the ways you must have tried to be there for him, hardly even getting a response from him because he was suffering so much that he didn't even see you there. imagine him being lost in his thoughts and just hallucinating about suguru all the time so much that he'd distance himself from the rest of the world. even you couldn't get past his defences though you tried and the way it ended with him leaving you, mostly because of the way his guilt would eat him up. the voices in his head whispering that he'd lose you the same way if he didn't let you go now.
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fruityumbrella · 5 months ago
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can never really stop thinking about the core difference between zoro's sacrifice at thriller bark vs the other major crew sacrifices (robin and sanji) but i can never really articulate it either like. idk. despite all three coming from a place of 'you mean so much to me that im willing to die in exchange for your safety', robin and sanji are both clearly acting under the influence of decades of self-worth issues and being told the world would be better off without them in it, and wanting to be useful in their final act, whereas zoro is...something else entirely.
it's in the way zoro's is an act of defiance right until the end, vs robin and sanji's capitulation. and thats not to say that their sacrifices were lesser or that they just 'gave up' or whatever. robin and sanji were both in awful situations where they were undoubtedly boxed in and had to make snap decisions, but there is something to be said for how they both feel like they have no choice but to shoulder the burden alone and in silence, without giving the crew even a chance to have a say. conversely, zoro makes the offer to kuma when every other avenue has been exhausted and the crew is totally out of commission (though they all made it explicitly clear theyd rather die themselves than hand over luffy).
there's something about luffy (and the crew)'s life being as important to zoro as his ambition, vs luffy (and the crew) being more important than robin/sanji's own lives. as in, the most important thing in zoros life has always been his goal, and he raises the crew to that same level (and luffy even higher) of value, which speaks volumes given his character, as opposed to the others who have never really learnt how to value themselves, thinking of themselves as the outsider that can be easily cast off for the greater good. like...bringing someone up to stand where you are vs pushing someone up above yourself yknow...
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sysig · 13 days ago
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Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Dexter Favin#Coraline#The Beldam#The other side of this coin <3 Call him out but this time make it unfriendly hehe#I talked last time about the daring rescue!! I do love the daring rescue in Coraline AUs ah same thing with the Camp Camp Coraline AU haha#Burst in through the door! Those poor hinges!#It is a bit funny imagining him crawling through the tunnel in a hurry and kicking the doors open all winded haha <3#It's all very serious of course Max needs help! Stuck behind the mirror from disobeying perhaps?#I was pretty hard on him last time that he'd just Immediately give up his soul for cheap tricks but like - would he?#Yes he's reckless and foolish but he's also stubborn and prideful and hates being told what to do so there's that lol#Which does he want more! The high or his freedom to refuse? I could see it going either way#And for Dex's sake I would hope he'd refuse! As if he hasn't suffered enough eye trauma (eventually)#Ough the thought of him starting to say yes and getting one button eye in and then rescinding his yes ouch#Doomed to have one eye no matter where he goes ah 💔#Anyway - Dex!!! Watch I'll make another one with the ideas mentioned here and then talk about more ideas in those tags pft#Since agreeing with him didn't work how about shaming? ''Go away you're no better''#She really is going hard on him like ''What's your angle? You get him back and then what? Will that actually fix anything?''#Very much pulling from Dexter's meetings with Max at the Institute there hhhhhh as if I needed more feelings about it#Eco_Mono did such a beautiful job playing Dex - so much to consider hehe - but there was one question that I can't stop thinking about#''Why would you want him back?'' and Dexter didn't really have much of an answer - he was barely more than a concept at the time!#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ♥♪♫#Very want to explore it <3#In the meanwhile it's fun to pit these two against each other haha what an odd matchup ♪#I've only barely drawn the Beldam before now that I think of it! And I think only in her final metal-spidery form never in her mid form here#She's fun :D And so tall! Dexter finally feeling small for a change haha#Her having to fight adult selfishness would be quite interesting I think - something tinged with but not quite the same as loyalty#She can relate to the possessiveness at least hehe I'm sure he'd appreciate the comparison
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that-foul-legacy-lover · 3 months ago
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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theladyfae · 2 months ago
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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No one:
Me whenever I see yet another blog I respect and admire make/reblog a post on how the lesbian/comphet masterdoc is biphobic/inaccurate:
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#lesbian#lesbophobia#comphet#lesbian masterdoc#comphet masterdoc#it's like aww c'mon not you too!#but it's like idk what is with people's obsession with trying to invalidate lesbians' experiences and saying that we are biphobic just for#our relation to the patriarchy#and saying that a tool that has helped many lesbians come to terms with our sexualities must secretly be some evil biphobic scheme#to force bisexual women back into the closet/eliminate and invalidate their attraction to men#i promise you that that is not what we're doing#it feels like they're just trying to say that the comphet masterdoc is wrong and that any lesbian who relates to it is really just bi and i#the closet#and as a lesbian who already suffers from comphet/intrusive thoughts about being sexually involved with men posts like these just make my#comphet go through the roof#they make me wonder even more if maybe my intrusive thoughts are my real feelings and i'm just repressing my attraction to men because the#lesbian masterdoc made me realize i was a lesbian and not attracted to men like i previously thought#and in addition they love to say that the creator of the doc came out as bi when it was only one of the editors of the doc#but ofc people just focus on that because they want so badly to prove that the comphet masterdoc doesn't exist and that it's simply#forcing bi girls to have denial#and then they love to say 'it was written by a bunch of teenagers' as if that invalidates it#or as if teenagers' experiences with comphet aren't real or trustworthy or worth listening to as if we are all simply irrational or naive#like atp people should just say the quiet part out loud that they think every lesbian who struggles with comphet is faking it and that we#are secretly bi and just think we're lesbians because we're traumatized by men but that eventually we will realize that we need a man in#fr it's just saddening#it's especially treacherous when other lesbians make posts like these#like come on now are you for real#i thought we were in this together#anyway that's all i'm done ranting lol
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longagoitwastuesday · 2 months ago
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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averlym · 1 year ago
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a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success
so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"
#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's#suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn#tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious#' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend#ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself#he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end#it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes#going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee#ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come#to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the#suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things#it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf#<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye#first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course
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abyssalpriest · 3 months ago
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Damnit lev lmfao. I was thinking about Shiva wearing corpse ash being resonant for other reasons, something about his relationship with the Bright Skinned Ones and death and whatever. No, no. More fucking importantly: Oh I wonder why Shiva is known for. you know. wearing bodies. his appearance is a mass of bodies joined together. yeah
#Leviathan is a mass of bodies. Shiva wears the ash of burned corpses. Transforming in both cases the masses into the Matter of the Bodiless#ramblings //#leviathan //#Maheshvara //#Not surprised this is coming up now he loves his fun fact time. Earlier I was poking at what he was doing#because he's... very distracted. And uh. Somewhere over yonder doing war stuff with people. And I was thinking about how he is just so many#circumstance based people at the same time. He'll be doing paperwork in a Royal Office somewhere and on a battlefield elsewhere and#running through the forest as a deer somewhere else and living as members of a school of fish in some transcendental lake#and scrying the pools of God and watching birds in a forest... and he incarnates here too and will be a chef downtown#and a teacher somewhere else up also doing paperwork and some dog on the street begging for food and and and#And over all of it... That central blissful mind that is water itself. all it's senses of self - emotions. thoughts. and so on - arising#from its various movements and shapes as reflections on the surface. But also... a sweet thing. Anyway#That black umbrella Lev that's deep and beyond names... beloved.... Searching for someone...#Shiva throws himself down into reality to bounce around as rays of light... the sun incarnating through the day sky into plants then into#animals and so on slowly recollecting more and more who he is. Searching for Shiva#always. Well. You found him. But then... Well. You go past the crying screaming stage of birth and then you get to fun#You gestate. You know who you are when the Sun's light touches your eyes. You scream at it. You change. You grow.#Then you learn the world is fun... People talk about how it seems ridiculous that someone who had achieved oneness would come back#and I wholly agree on a side thought relevant to that that most people who claim to know oneness don't know it#because the idea of oneness itself is actually a product of duality IE you have to be on a world where Two exists to understand One#One doesn't exist in a unified world. There's no One. In a unified world... So you can absolutely achieve a state of oneness while still#being non-unified if you don't truly get it... But anyway. On the why come back thing... Yeah people don't get it. But people who do get it#come back all the time. This reality is just an experience. You can spend your entire life asleep or you can come play and experience#So. Lev's incarnations on this plane mirror his incarnation of Shiva Into Bodies... He comes here to play games. He plays#He takes photos. He wanders. He plays music for people on street corners. He laughs. He loves. He suffers. He experiences.#Sometimes he doesn't understand. Sometimes he understands. Anyway.... Looking through his eyes... Iridescent scene of cranes#flying over a sunset more rich than I've ever seen on earth but so natural. Fire without fire. Water catching and soaking up every colour.
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volivolition · 6 months ago
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[guy with chronic pain voice] i should draw pain threshold
#chemi chats#pain thresh save me. save me pain thresh.#its truly like. sure i'll find pleasure in the pain what fucking else are you supposed to do with a life full of constant bodily agony.#the alternative is suffering. the alternative is wallowing in feeling bad and sad all the time and im fucking sick of feeling this way!#so sure! i like the pain actually! whatever!! hurt me more!! bring it on! i'll feel every pain ever whatever! can't get worse than this!#if you completely own it. if you're in pain and you /want/ to be in pain does that lessen the suffering?? does that make it easier to cope?#just some thoughts about him hkjgh i worry for that guy sometimes. chronic pain havers are really going through it.#pain thresh who are your friends in the group? you and endurance are buds probably. empathy maybe? emotional pain </3#oh composure too maybe. buddy you need more friends. its hard to talk to people when you have chronic pain though. like when will you get#tired of me constantly saying ''im in pain''? because even while im holding back the full enormity of my pain i still say it a lot.#its hard to concentrate on other things and good fucking god it hurts; goddamnit you said it out loud again. you need to find friends who#are willing to be patient with you even when you ''complain'' a lot about the same thing all the time. usually other people with pain hgfij#on a secondary adhd note i should absolutely go through bdg's unraveled videos and pick out quotes that fit the skills lmao#pain thresh's is ''hey you know the crash test dummy that we throw against the wall violently? it would be cool IF IT COULD FEEL PAIN''#ency is one of the fun facts from the ''i read every halo novel'' probably hkjh and i could pull something from the sports one for phys?#hkjh anyway thats it folks hkjgh hugs and blowing kisses for everyone
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umilily · 7 months ago
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I've been trying to get this fucking degree for 7 years, suffering basically nonstop, taking part in all my classes, even taking extra ones, I think at this point I more than deserve them just giving me my bachelor's. I've done ENOUGH.
#lily talks#it has been a day#Have what might be my last exam ever on Friday and ahahahhah#I only got one attempt to pass it or I'll have to do an oral one and I would much rather die than do that#And I've put myself through almost 2 weeks of suffering from being unable to do basically anything other than lie in bed and stare at the#ceiling bc I am so stressed but enemy number 1 aka my brain refuses to let me sit down to properly study but at the same time i'm not#Allowed to do anything else because I'm not studying like I should be and I just am miserable#Anyway I've been a mess this entire time and NOW 2 fucking days before the exam the professor announces there will be another date in late#To take it instead#COULD YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ANY EARLIER??????????#I am so tempted to switch the date because I barely studied and I feel like shit but i already suffered so much for this and then I would#Just have to do it all again#But I really can't afford to mess it up either bc I don't think I would recover from that. Genuinely.#I am so unbelievably done with all of this. The degree. uni. Constant stupid pressure from everyone about when I will finally be done.#Not even daring to think about the financial aspect because I would just cry#I feel so dumb for having a meltdown before any test situation I ever found myself in because you would expect that AT SOEM POINT my brain#That at some point I would learn to deal with it and cope somehow#Unfortunately I'm starting to doubt that this is going to happen in this lifetime
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coquelicoq · 2 years ago
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natsume book of friends season 4 opening sequence has got me incredibly fucked up. the lyrics. kid natsume's tiny little legs and teenage natsume watching him run. the lyrics. nyanko-sensei burrowing into his arms. did i mention the lyrics? ending frame on the fujiwara family. including natsume. because he's part of their family. as the lyrics ask him to "please [not] keep suffering alone"? somebody fucking hold me.
#i'm actually almost done with season 4 because i have no self-control. and every time i watch the opening i'm like#no this has only gotten more potent since the last time i watched it. we are reaching danger levels#natsume yuujinchou#natsume's book of friends#my posts#season 4 is the season of tanuma just completely destroying me on every level. why is every single character like this??#every time he learns something about natsume he's like oh so this is what it's like for natsume?#and then it happens again and he's like wait natsume ALSO has THIS OTHER THING to contend with??#and again: AND A THIRD THING?? WHY MUST THE WORLD'S BEST BOY NATSUME TAKASHI SUFFER???#he just wants to help natsume deal with stuff and i am on the fucking floor#his thought process is just#this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe here's a way i could help him? he doesn't want me to though because it would#put me in danger. but i don't want him to be in danger either. and i'm telling him that to his face. i don't think it's really#gotten through to him but that's okay i will just keep telling him. now i'm realizing that the thing i did to help him maybe just made#things harder for him. this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe sometimes the best way to help him is to just#respect his wishes and yet remind him that he can lean on people and that people love him as much as he loves them#the part where tanuma realized why natsume doesn't tell the fujiwaras about youkai gutted me#this kid is so emotionally astute and such a sweetheart#i just watched the episode where natsume loses his picture of his parents and his old house is getting sold and i cried. SO many tears.#tanuma putting his foot down for once like no actually you need to admit that something is bothering you this time#we can find this picture. ask us to help you do this thing that we can actually do for you. you don't need to be sad for no reason#mmm can't be coherent about it just rest assured it was extremely harmful to me and also exactly what i needed#anyway the season 4 opening song as the thing you say to your younger self who lives inside your current self because#you can't actually go back in time and be the person your younger self needed to have in their life. so all you can do is love that child#in absentia but so so so fiercely and with your whole entire heart#all you can do is give your current self all the love you have for the child you were#jesus CHRIST
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