#anyway idk what i'm getting at exactly
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Happy birthday, Namjoon (12.09.1994)✨
#btsgif#btsedit#cyphernet#userdimple#raplineuser#userpat#annietrack#usersky#tuserandi#useremmeline#usermaggie#userkelli#usersevn#heyginkgo#usermizuoka#userines#namjoonedit#kim namjoon#bts#*#as usual i had zero ideas so i was inspired by the video i saw on twt#i was sure it was in my likes but now i can't find it i wanted to add link in the caption (videomakers pls use watermarks!)#anyway that video made me very soft and this was exactly what i needed at that moment so i decided to make soft joonie gifset💖#the idea is not original i know but i wanted to give it a try so here we are#as much as i enjoyed collecting the moments gathering them together and trying not to get 10mb+ well that was the torture lol#i'm not content with the quality and consistent coloring? what is it? idk her but this is my baby i love it#anyway2 welcome to the club big fella! it's fun here you're gonna love it😈
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I'm the reticent vampire of the Ninth Arrondissement. I walk the night capturing disappointment and regret as only the reticent vampire can.
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022-)
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtvedit#iwtv amc#louis de pointe du lac#iwtv spoilers#perioddramaedit#tvedit#tvfilmgifs#cinematv#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#mine#idk i can't stop thinking of the implications of the hobby of photography#maybe i'm just crazy but this recurring theme of identity and cameras being in the scene. also armand saying put your camera down etc as if#the lens of the camera put some separation between him and the ppl around. photography as an escapism method also#and i find interesting how he chooses to take photos of random slices of the lives of human life and gets critizied for it#as if louis tries to have one last tie with humanity through photography..'stealing' it through a photo in this whole bigger picture of#vampire pride vs his desire to distantiate himself from it.#i don't remember exactly what jacob himself said but smth smth louis PLAYING the part of the recitent vampire#anyways much to say..also i just find him very cute with this photography hobby thing fsdkjfsdkj
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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THE JETSET LIFE IS GONNA KILL YOU, ERIC CARTER!
my laptop charger uhhhhhh. met its end in a very permanent, very fire hazardy kind of way last week. while waiting for a replacement I decided to try and get some work done at the library and was asking around for some urban fantasy (extra points for a mystery plot of some kind) recommendations to check out while I was there
the eric carter series was mentioned a couple of times, AND had the added bonus of having a necromancer for a main character. I love necromancers. someday I'm gonna play one in a game instead of immediately defaulting to vampires.
Fire Season, Stephen Blackmoore
#i was also told to check out johannes cabal because. again. necromancers. and sandman slim#i'll get around to it next year probably#ive had urban fantasy on the mind ever since I did a full re read of the dresden files and then a SECOND re read of it right after#but from a different starting point and then did an unnecessary examination of harry as an unreliable narrator#with a very specific kind of world vision that does funny things to his perception. idk what purpose that served#ANYWAY. i got a whole list of gritty urban fantasy recommendations to slowly work through next year#i dont really play around with original english language urban fantasy fiction very often because it's like#a lot of what i want out of it I already get out of japanese/korean comics I read and also filipino horror#so I'm not exactly starved for it except that I'm low key kind of starving for it. when will filipino horror return from the war#anyway i appreciate the hate the main character has for spanish colonialism#and as a long time whump enthusiast i love it when a character goes through the absolute wringer#creative liberties were taken. i thought about rolling up the sleeve on his. left? arm and then thought about the tattoos and changed#my mind lmao. i started drawing some of them tho. i once dated a guy who was similarly tattooed and for a minute i thought#'well i can just rip off all of that' and then i thought 'wait i still have to draw it' and decided Not To#eric carter series
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It's pomegranate season :)
A redraw of this piece from around a year ago
#hello guys...(:#i started school back in mid September! its hell#and my chronic pain is rly bad these days i can barely do anything#and my next break will be spent at the hospital#but love and light at least we're trucjing along and getting somewhere hopefully#this drawing isn't exactly the most finished the most effortful what have you but its all i can guve you#confession time: idk if i have it in me to keep drawing the guys#dont get me wrong still adore them. but i feel a little out of it#maybe this'll change the second i post this but whatever.#i had an amazing time being active in the fandom you guys are so sweet and you got me thru rough patches <3#I'll still be around just even more inactive#anyway i hope you enjoy this!!!#i feel like I've improves substantially which is good#cwilbur#dsmp fanart#my art#thx to everyone that's loved my art yall hold a special place in my heart#alright bye bye xoxo#ps esteemed mutuals and lovely audience never hesitate talking to me i am always around and i love ppl I'm just socially anxious#fennec.art
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Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??
Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try
#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type#and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist#anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance#even tho wyll is right there yall#but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it#also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao#more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character#like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog#and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no#i just think it's neat#is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh#pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like#i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride#but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense#except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material#case in point: me lmfao#OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude#anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended#who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol#but i digress#pk plays bg3
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stray thought but why didn’t they just let giles die in spiral? like... other than make buffy miserable what does he even do in the later seasons? I feel like it would've been better to just let him go out on a good note than waste away as a character
#absolutely let me know if I'm wrong please#but I've just finished s6 and what. what was the purpose of him even being there#in fact he WASN'T there!! his bitch ass self was in england!!!!#he was RIGHT when he said he wasn't needed but he hasn't BEEN needed since SEASON 3!!!!!#like could he not have just set some firmer boundaries with buffy. completely abandoning her was so extreme#plus I think killing him would've been like scary y’know?#cause the core scoobies are always safe in this show. in fact everyone BUT the core scoobies die around here#so to kill giles? big BIG deal!!#well actually I guess buffy dies a lot but she keeps coming back so idk if she counts exactly#me when I want all everybody to die#I realize I've also talked about how spike could've died within this season hahaha they say kill your darlings or whatever#also I get it was important that he killed ben for buffy but like being fr? I think xander and willow could've done it#for buffy? maybe. maybe. but for willow? I think xander would kill someone for willow. especially cause this guy is host of the hell god#and y'know willow would kill for willow. well tara but willow's love is a very selfish love so also for herself#anyways I think they could've done it they just didn't have to#and obviously spike would if he could not a question there#rupert giles#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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i know the joke back in march/april was that tommy was buck's sam and eddie was his nick but actually it would be So much more compelling if tommy was buck's richard and eddie was his chandler because the idea of having children and being a father has always existed on the periphery of buck's identity so if he had to reckon with a partner that didn't want kids it would actually be an interesting conflict that would be in line with buck's characterisation while also allowing the show to tie up all the loose ends about buck and fatherhood from s6 as well as the will and the chris of it all
#they could so stick the landing of the last 2 and a half seasons if they did that come ON#idk what confession tommy is going to reveal etc but i'm just saying!!!!!#that would actually be interesting#especially since ep 6 looks like it'll be a big fatherhood ep for eddie#and!!!! there's apparently that buddie scene at the end where they're able to sit in silence bc they know exactly what each other needs/is#feeling#anyway you get the point#this has less to do with tommy and more to do with the fact that i NEED buck to acquire a baby#and i NEED the show to address everything they didn't in s6#911 related
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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Sent to me by a fellow natural dobe liker, all I can say is translation: fart noises
#Anyway when non dobe people get mad that cropping and docking still happens#This is why I'm always like idk what exactly you want me to do about this#You are not understanding the state of politics in the breed right now#Yeah I have a natural doberman and guess what#He's also an import#BOTH of mine have been imports
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Honestly, I've never really had any interest in Undertale or Deltarune shipping in the past, and that still mostly holds true. That being said, I cannot stop thinking about the delicious psychological horror implications of Kris/Ralsei
#imagine if there was this guy you met who looked exactly like your brother did when he was younger#and like. He's fine. you get along with him fine. He's a bit annoying and cloying sometimes but whatever#and he's clearly attracted to you#like extremely clearly attracted to you. and he sees you as something you aren't.#he can't seem to see past this hero persona that you've been forced to play#and you are not attracted to him. no part of you is attracted to him#but you're being forced to reciprocate#you're hugging him and flirting with him and giving him presents and all you feel feel about it is dread#you can't even tell him you're not interested. because. well. apparently you are#you're being forced to act out this fluffy fairytale romance with someone who again may I remind you is basically your brother#because whoever is playing this sick fucking game you're in has decided that you're cute together#like. idk. i feel like it's old news to point out that both Undertale and Deltarune are Stories About Stories#with Deltarune being largely about control and about what it feels like to be trapped in a narrative that someone else has made for you#And hey. stories have romance. stories have fandoms and those fandoms demand ships where the stoic one is soft for the sunshine one#anyways. do I ship it? um. I'm not sure.#no im the sense that I very firmy believe Kris has absolutely no romantic feelings for Ralsei#yes in the sense that I think Ralsei is written as having feelings for Kris. and I think the dynamic there is INCREDIBLY interesting#and it's something I really really hope we get to see more of in later chapters#Doomed By The Narrative has been done. it's time for Shipped By The Narrative#deltarune#kralsei
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Posting these becauseeeee why not-
Add another onto the list of babygirls ✍️💀 /hj
Apologies for the gayness- 💀
When I first saw Jack's playthrough of My Friendly Neighborhood, this bitch somehow had a little grip on me- 😭 I like his voice :D It's silly and I have 100% looped his voicelines constantly, because yes-
🎶Country boyyyy I loovee youuuuu🎶
#my friendly neighborhood#mfn#mfn lenard#my friendly neighborhood lenard#my friendly neighborhood fanart#my art#traditional doodles#doodles#my sona#akikothefuzzball#can't believe this is the third puppet I've simped for 💀#wtf man 😭#first it was Spamton- then Wally- AND NOW THIS MF#what is hAPPENING#idk how long this will last exactly- but I do like Lenard a bit more than the other mfn puppets#Ricky is pretty up there too though- but I don't s i m p for him#he's just a little guy- a little silly guy#anyway- yea 😁#I get attracted to characters way too easily 💀💀💀 help#either that or I have a type and the minute a character fits into that type I'm immediately like “wHY HELLO THERE 🤏🕶👁👁”#hfhzhdgxhe
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sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books
#americans close your eyes and ears right now#i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all#and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit#but alas we're all suffering here#and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting#anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay#but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest#like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist#that's just copium#you all knew exactly what she meant#but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government#like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away#by all this insane reaction#and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so#but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles#then there's something seriously wrong with your politics#and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about#if anything..... you RESENT them#and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country#harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left#is not. it's not even fucking helpful#anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads#idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.
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can i just be emotional on main for a sec & thank y'all again for sticking with me & supporting my weird little brand here these last few months while i've been like. worse than ever about getting any writing done? just like. hhh. all of u putting up with my shitposts & liking the hcs and whatever else i shove out onto the dash while i'm struggling with energy for replies, and everyone who still wants to plot & develop our dynamics despite me being the WORST at keeping up with dms (& being somehow even worse at being the one to actually initiate dms), and!!!! those of you who continue to indulge me by sending me asks despite the fact that you've been waiting 5 years for me to reply to our thread!!! i appreciate u guys sm, like i don't think u actually understand just how much. i mean this so sincerely: thank you
#writing & chatting with u guys and just shoving our characters together is one of the few things in my life rn that still brings me joy#so it's been really infuriating to be having such a hard time doing it#and that fear of people losing interest or getting bored or annoyed w me because of that struggle doesn't exactly help#it's something i'm working to overcome bc i KNOW those of u who matter are the ones who'll continue to stick around but ajshkfds#idk i've been wading through the existential dread these last few days trying to avoid succumbing to it again & dumb little rp things are#part of what help keep me going. so just like. yeah. thank u sm ;A;#a special shoutout to my newer mutuals too for joining me at a weird time & still sticking around to engage w me despite my slowness#i'm v excited about all of the new dynamics we're building or will eventually build ;u; ♡#anyway. i'll shut up now. sorry for all the blabbering i'm just emotional today and wanted to express my gratitude to all of u ♡♡♡#wanna try to write at some point today but idk if it'll happen or not. we'll see ;~;#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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i love nuance, i love learning, i love knowing how something fundamentally works
#i was struggling throwing knives the other day bc my body picked up the muscle movements but what i taught it wasn't right exactly#i had to rly think about how my throw works and what I'm doing exactly. fundamentally#🚶🏾♀️ had to go back to being a noob at it while i trained w the right perspective and I'm v happy to not only have it back but#be better at it. much easier to switch between different sizes and weights‚ (much) higher stick rates‚ deeper penetration#☝🏾 my true test will be going to my friend's on Sunday and seeing if her bf still has his throwing knives and how i do w them 0:#i only played w them a bit on the first day but they're p small 😹 i feel comfies throwing the heavier n bigger it gets but idk#how it feels to move in the other direction yet. anyways‚ i am having fun ૮ – ﻌ–ა 🤌🏾 very happy i got back into this bc i feel like#in however brief time it's been i got better way faster than i did at 17 🙇🏾♀️ but I'm sure that initial learning helped#i mean. it did. that's why i was able to hit successfully sm times that first day. hm. so ig I've just been getting a more nuanced view 0:#muscle memory is crazy
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