#anything like we have today (in all its variations)

[ctl-yuejie]

reading graeber's "debt: the first 5000 years" atm (yes I am late) and i cannot stop thinking about the parts of sex and the ramifications of making sex (and people) assessable in money through violence and particulary what disruption this has caused in societies where sex wasn't stigmatized (obv not a history of sex, so the main point is somewhere else but the connection was quite interesting)

[headspace-hotel]

against the logic of the lawn

Imagine a box.

This box is sealed with tape or adhesive, which shows you that it has never been opened or re-used. It is in pristine condition. Apart from that, the box could hold anything. It could contain a Star Wars Funko Pop, a printer, a shirt ordered from some sketchy online vendor, a knockoff store-brand cereal, six individually wrapped protein bars.

As a Consumer ("the" Consumer) this is your fundamental right: To purchase a box that is, presumably, identical to every other box like it.

When you Buy Product, it arrives in a box, entire of itself and without context. It has not changed since its creation. If and when Product does change—whether it is broken, spoiled, used up, or eaten—you can Buy Product that is identical in every meaningful way to the original.

It's okay if this doesn't make sense yet. (You can stop imagining the box now.)

Imagine instead a suburban housing development, somewhere in the USA.

Imagine row on row of pristine, newly built houses, each constructed with small, meaningless variations in their aesthetic, all with beige or white vinyl siding and perhaps some decorative brick, all situated on identical rectangles of land covered with freshly unrolled sod. This is the Product that every consumer aspires to Buy.

I am not exactly—qualified, or entitled, to speak on the politics of land ownership in this country. My ancestors benefited directly from the genocide of Native Americans, which allowed Europeans to steal the land they lived on, which is where a lot of wealth comes from in the end, even today. However, I have eyes in my head to see that the act of colonizing a continent, and an economic system that formed as a supporting infrastructure to colonization, have embedded something almost irreparably dysfunctional into the dominant American culture's relationship to land.

This dysfunctional Thing, this Sickness, leads us to consider land to be a Product, and to consider a human upon the land to be a Consumer.

From this point of view, land is either locked into this relationship of control and "use" to varying extents, or it is free of human influence. People trying to reason about how to preserve Earth's biosphere, working within this framework without realizing, decide that we must "set aside" large areas of land for "nature."

This is a naive and, I would reckon, probably itself colonialist way of seeing things. It appears to be well-validated by evidence. Where human population is largest, there is less biodiversity.

But I find the broad conclusions to be strikingly unscientific. The plan of "setting aside part of Earth for nature" displays little curiosity about the mechanisms by which human presence impacts biodiversity. Otherwise intelligent people, perhaps caught up in the "bargaining" phase of climate grief, seem taken in by the idea that the human species gives off a magical anti-biodiversity force field, as if feeling guiltier will fix the problems.

(Never mind that lands managed by indigenous folk actually have MORE biodiversity...almost like our species' relationship to the planet isn't inherently exploitative, but rather, the capitalist and colonialist powers destroying everything.......)

Let's go back to the image of the new housing development. This image could be just about anywhere in the USA, because the American suburban home is made for universal interchangeability, where each little house and yard is static and replaceable with any other.

Others have written about the generic-ification of the interiors of homes, how houses are decorated with the most soul-killing, colorless furnishings to make them into Products more effectively. (I think @mcmansionhell wrote about it.)

This, likewise, is the Earth turned into a Product—razed down into something with no pre-existing context, history, or responsibility. Identical parcels of land, identical houses, where once there was a unique and diverse distribution of life. The American lawn, the American garden, the industry that promotes these aesthetics, is the environmental version of that ghastly, ugly "minimalism" infecting the interiors of homes.

The extremely neat, sparse, manicured look that is so totally inescapable in American yards originated from the estates of European aristocracy, which displayed the owner's wealth by flaunting an abundance of land that was both heavily managed and useless. People defend the lawn on the basis that grass tolerates being walked upon and is good for children to play, but to say this is *the* purpose of a lawn is bullshit—children are far more interested in trees, creeks, sticks, weeds, flowers, and mud than Grass Surface, many people with lawns do not have children, and most people spend more time mowing their lawn than they do doing literally anything else outside. How often do you see Americans outside in their yards doing anything except mowing?

What is there to do, anyway? Why would you want to go outside with nothing but the sun beating down on you and the noise of your neighbors' lawn mowers? American culture tries to make mowing "manly" and emphasizes that it is somehow fulfilling in of itself. Mowing the lawn is something Men enjoy doing—almost a sort of leisure activity.

I don't have something against wanting a usable outdoor area that is good for outdoor activities, I do, however, have something against the idea that a lawn is good for outdoor activities. Parents have been bitching for decades about how impossible it is to drag kids outdoors, and there have been a million PSAs about how children need to be outside playing instead of spending their lives on video games. Meanwhile, at the place I work, every kid is ECSTATIC and vibrating with enthusiasm to be in the woods surrounded by trees, sticks, leaves, and mud.

The literal, straightforward historical answer to the lawn is that the American lawn exists to get Americans to spend money on chemicals. The modern lawn ideal was invented to sell a surplus of fertilizer created after WW2 chemical plants that had been used to make explosives were repurposed to produce fertilizer. Now you know! The more analytical, sociological answer is that the purpose of the lawn is to distance you from the lower class. A less strictly maintained space lowers property values, it looks shabby and unkempt, it reflects badly on the neighborhood, it makes you look like a "redneck." And so on. The largest, most lavish McMansions in my area all have the emptiest, most desolate yards, and the lush gardens all belong to tiny, run-down houses.

But the answer that really cuts to the core of it, I think, is that lawns are a technology for making land into a Product for consumers. (This coexists with the above answers.) Turfgrass is a perfectly generic blank slate onto which anything can be projected. It is emptiness. It is stasis.

I worry about the flattening of our imaginations. Illustrations in books generally cover the ground outdoors in a uniform layer of green, sometimes with strokes suggesting individual blades of grass if they want to get fancy. Video games do this. Animated shows and movies do this.

Short, carpet-like turfgrass as the Universal Outdoor Surface is so ubiquitous and intuitive that any alternative is bizarre, socially unacceptable, and for many, completely unimaginable. When I am a passenger in a car, what horrifies me the most to see out the window is not only the turfgrass lawns of individuals, but rather, the turfgrass Surface that the entire inhabited landscape has been rendered into—vacant stretches of land surrounding businesses and churches, separating parking lots, bordering Wal-Marts, apartment complexes, and roadsides.

These spaces are not used, they are almost never walked upon. They do nothing. They are maintained, ceaselessly, by gas-powered machines that are far, far more carbon-emitting than cars per hour of use, emitting in one hour the same amount of pollution as a 500-mile drive. It is an endless effort to keep the land in the same state, never mind that it's a shitty, useless state.

Nature is dynamic. Biodiversity is dynamic. From a business point of view, the lawn care industry has found a brilliant scheme to milk limitless money from people, since trying to put a stop to the dynamism and constant change of nature is a Sisyphean situation, and nature responds with increasingly aggressive and rapid change as disturbance gets more intense.

On r/lawncare, a man posted despairingly that he had spent over $1500 tearing out every inch of sod in his yard, only for the exact same weeds to return. That subreddit strikes horror in my heart that I cannot describe, and the more I learn about ecology, the more terrible it gets. It was common practice for people in r/lawncare to advise others to soak their entire yard in Roundup to kill all plant life and start over from a "blank slate."

Before giving up, I tried to explain over and over that it was 100% impossible to get a "blank slate." Weeds typically spread by wind and their seeds can persist for DECADES in the soil seed bank, waiting for a disastrous event to trigger them to sprout. They will always come back. It's their job.

It was impossible for those guys to understand that they were inherently not just constructing a lawn from scratch, and were contending with another power or entity (Nature) with its own interests.

The logic of the lawn also extends into our gardens. We are encouraged to see the dynamism of nature as something that acts against our interests (and thus requires Buy Product) so much, that we think any unexpected change in our yard is bad. People are sometimes baffled when I see a random plant popping up among my flowers as potentially a good thing.

"That's a weed!" Maybe! Nonetheless, it has a purpose. I don't know who this stranger is, so I would be a fool to kill it!

A good caretaker knows that the place they care for will change on its own, and that this is GOOD and brings blessings or at least messages. I didn't have to buy goldenrod plants—they came by themselves! Several of our trees arrived on their own. The logic that sees all "weeds" as an enemy to be destroyed without even identifying ignores the wisdom of nature's processes.

The other day at work, the ecologist took me to see pink lady's slipper orchids. The forest there was razed and logged about a hundred years ago, and it got into my head to ask how the orchids returned. He only shrugged. "Who knows?"

Garden centers put plants out for sale when they are blooming. People buy trees from Fast Growing Trees dot com. The quick, final results that are standard with Buy Product, which are so completely opposite the constant slow chaos of nature, have become so standard in the gardening world that the hideous black mulch sold at garden centers is severed from the very purpose of mulch, and instead serves to visually emphasize small, lonely plants against its dark background. (For the record, once your plants mature, you should not be able to SEE the mulch.)

Landscapers regularly place shrubs, bushes, trees and flowers in places where they have no room to reach maturity. It's standard—landscapers seem to plan with the expectation that everything will be ripped out within 5-10 years. The average person has no clue how big trees and bushes get because their entire surroundings, which are made of living things (which do in fact feel and communicate) are treated as disposable.

Because in ten years, this building won't be an orthodontists' office, in ten years, this old lady will be dead, in ten years, the kids will have grown, and capitalism is incapable of preparing for a future, only for the next buyer.

The logic of the lawn is that gardens and ecosystems that take time to build are not to be valued, because a lush, biodiverse garden is not easily sold, easily bought, easily maintained, easily owned, or easily treated with indifference. An ecosystem requires wisdom from the caretaker. That runs contrary to the Consumer identity.

And it's this disposable-ness, this indifference, that I am ultimately so strongly against, not grass, or low turf that you can step on.

What if we saw buying land as implying a responsibility to be its caretaker? To respect the inhabitants, whether or not we are personally pleased by them or think they look pretty? What creature could deserve to be killed just because it didn't make a person happy?

But the Consumer identity gives you something else...a sense of entitlement. "This is MY yard, and that possum doesn't get to live there." "This is MY yard, and I don't want bugs in it." "This is MY yard, and I can kill the spiders if I want to."

Meanwhile there is no responsibility to build the soil up for the next gardener. No responsibility to plant oaks that will grow mighty and life-giving. No responsibility to plant fruit-producing trees, brambles, and bushes. None of these things, any of which could have fulfilled a responsibility to the future. Rather, just to do whatever you damn well please, and leave those that come after with depleted, compacted soil and the aftermath of years of constant damage. It took my Meadow ten years to recover from being the garden patch of the guy that lived here before us. Who knows what he did to it.

The loss of topsoil in all our farmland is a bigger example, and explains how this is directly connected to colonialism. The Dust Bowl, the unsustainable farming practices that followed, the disappearance of the lush fertile prairie topsoil because of greed and colonizer mindset, and simple refusal to learn from what could be observed in nature. The colonizing peoples envisioned the continent as an "Empty" place, a Blank Slate that could be used and exploited however.

THAT is what's killing the planet, this idea that the planet is to be used and abused and bought and sold, that the power given by wealth gives you entitlement to do whatever you want. That "Land" is just another Product, and our strategies for taking care of Earth should be whatever causes the most Buy Product.

It's like I always write..."You are not a consumer! You are a caretaker!"

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Chiori, Navia, Furina and Bronya with an s/o who wears a full on tuxedo outside regardless of blazing hot weather or frigid cold, when asked the reason they simply reply “I look really cool while doing stuff” in it

(Genshin Impact/H:SR) Chiori, Navia, Furina, Clorinde, and Bronya's S/O always wearing a tuxedo

On some level, Chiori respects that S/O refuses to not be stylish.

But she could see the sweat dripping onto the white part of their tux, disgusting her.

(Chiori) "You realize that you're ruining your tux just by sweating, right?"

(S/O) "Oh come on, it's nothing that a washer can't take care of."

Her eyes shot up and down before her expression repulsed at whatever ran through her mind.

(Chiori) "Ew, no. It's so bad that I can see the shirt changing color. Go and change already."

(S/O) "But you never get out of that dress-"

(Chiori) "Because I can still breathe in it. You on the other hand are roasting alive in that. If you really must wear that thing everywhere, I can tailor it to where you won't be adding to Fontaine's water level."

Fashion was important to Chiori, and so was making sure your clothes weren't soaking wet on a dry day.

Navia absolutely understands S/O's struggle.

Looking fashionable on a hot summer day was hell on earth, the things she had to do to ensure there would be no sweat!

(Navia) "S/O, we need to make you an umbrella that complements your suit!"

(S/O) "You'd do that for me?"

Navia scoffs and smiles, hands going onto her waist.

(Navia) "Of course I would! We gotta make sure your fashion statement goes unimpeded, come on, I know what we're doing today!"

Navia and S/O walk side by side, with umbrellas in hand to protect them from the sun.

Sadly, S/O's doesn't turn into a shotgun, but Navia could have it special ordered for them if they wanted!

Furina never really feels that much of the heat, due to her usually staying indoors all the time.

But that being said, she appreciates that S/O always strived to look as good as her, no matter the weather or situation!

All that being said, she never really saw them wear anything else.

Either they had spares, or...

(Furina) "...S/O, I must ask, when was the last time you washed your suit?"

(S/O) "When was the last time you washed yours?"

Furina actually had an excuse! She could use her Vision to wash it out and let it air dry, then she could use lots of perfume and shower...That was good enough, right?

(Furina) "D-Do not dodge my question by asking me one! Don't tell me you just wear the same thing day in, day out!"

(S/O) "That's not fair, I never see you get out of that suit either!"

The two get into a mini argument about wearing the exact same thing every day, while proceeding to actually not change their outfits at all.

It ends with Furina snapping her fingers and changing into a slightly different variation of her usual, letting her get the upperhand.

Clorinde thinks S/O just looks way more gaudy than they actually are, always wearing a tux.

Granted, they were in Fontaine and gaudiness was what they were essentially known for besides their technology.

But she always felt like it attracted the wrong crowd, but its not like she had much room to talk.

(Clorinde) "...S/O."

(S/O) "Hm? What's up, Clorinde?"

(Clorinde) "I am aware it might be hypocritical to bring this up but...Must you wear that suit to this?"

(S/O) "Come on, Clorinde! It's not like this is any different to what I wear everyday."

(Clorinde) "While that is true, the fact you are in that first thing in the morning is concerning."

They were just brushing their teeth, and Clorinde had not even gotten into uniform yet, simply donning a nightgown with her hair neatly tucked behind her.

Wouldn't the water just get all over the suit anyway?

Bronya appreciated that S/O was always looking presentable, given that she was the Supreme Guardian of Belebog, and her S/O should not be caught lacking in the style department.

However, she swears that S/O has never worn anything else in their life.

Even before the Astral Express crew came along, before they had become a couple, S/O was in that suit.

Even more impressive considering that they were in the Eternal Freeze for their entire lives, but still chose to go out in that.

Seele had tried to drag her and S/O out multiple times to at least get something new to wear, which she admittedly didn't do a good job of wearing either.

But S/O's dedication to their one outfit bordered on psychotic.

(Bronya) "S/O, may I ask you something?"

(S/O) "Sure, what is it?"

(Bronya) "Do you have spares of that suit?"

(S/O) "One for every day of the week."

She just blinked at that revelation and sighed loudly.

(Bronya) "...We should change our wardrobe."

[taylor-titmouse]

Lucky Little Lunatics, R/L Monroe @petitemortality's latest erotica release, is out! Another one for the sapphics, particularly the monsterfucker sapphics. If you're into Chimera Falin, or any sort of TF, you'll be into this one! You can check out a three page sample and a full list of its contents over on the shop page.

but this is the post where i talk about the process of designing the cover. i had a lot of fun with this one (i mean, i ALWAYS do, but this one had the most ideas generated)

so let's talk about THUMBNAILS!

like i said: there were a lot! these were the notes i was given:

"moon imagery important

monster girl is a chimera incorporating wolf / stag / owl parts, big monster jaws and sharp teeth are important but otherwise the actual form she takes is open to exploration. she is Large, regardless

it's not an outright vore book but there's definitely a fairy tale style threat of gobble you up

I can give you direction on the three witches she's hunting if you want or need it, but as usual I'm not expecting anything super figurative so it's probably not That important"

so my big takeaways are: moon, obviously. A Monster, fairy tale vibe, and the three witches. already we're cooking with iconography, and the style so far with the covers has been largely silhouette. so obviously we have to do something with a big prominent moon, and obviously the title is going to go there. like that's a no brainer. if you need to have a big prominent circle, you put the title there.

i presented the first six to lee and he liked 2, 5, and 6 the most. we moved forward with 6 because the others were ultimately a little Too storybook, and it is after all a book about turning into a monster and chasing down some women you've been hanging out with, for the purpose of fucking them. taking his feedback about making the monster less specified and more oppressive, we ended up with the 8th thumbnail, which ended up being the final!

and then we went through some color variations. i work pretty much Exclusively with gradient maps these days, which make it really easy to iterate on a palette with very little additional work. lee chose the bottom left, so that's what i moved forward with!

FONTS

we tend to go through a lot when picking these. my first pass was based on the fantasy fairy tale vibe i was still operating under, which we ultimately dismissed. lee wanted something Like the first, simple, font, so i tried a bit more. the crit there was that they ended up looking too much like a bestseller, when what we wanted was something a little less top shelf and more pulpy. we ended up using the top right option, which coincidentally is the font i use for the cover of You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain. apparently that font is just for monsterfuckers

and that's more or less it! there wasn't a whole lot of process between thumbnails and thumbs, just plan and execution. i think my favorite part of the cover is the little witches holding hands and running away. they charm me.

anyway you should go read the book! it's very good. it has big monster tongue stuff AND tail stuff. truly a monsterfucker's paradise

get a copy today!

[beautiful-basque-country]

ON BASQUE AND ITS TIES WITH GEORGIAN, ARMENIAN, AND TAMAZIGHT.

American linguist Morris Swadesh (1909-1967) created a world map of current languages according to comparative linguistics, taking into account their common origin. The lexico-statistical or glottochronological Swadesh method is based on taking 215 words in two groups of 100; key words such as personal pronouns, low numerals, parts of the body, kinship names, some action verbs, some adverbs of time and place, objects of nature, very common actions, bodily actions and questions.

Swadesh claimed that in the basic vocabulary the rate of change is so regular in languages, that he had been able to create a system of measuring the elapsed time in which two languages were related in the past and that today are separated geographically.

According to Swadesh, that basic vocabulary of 100 or 215 words changes less than 20% per millennium in each language. These variations in vocabulary leave a common ground between two or more languages related to each other, which is measured chronologically, thus establishing the time distance between a language and its more modern relatives. If the number of words with the same root between two languages in these two groups of 100 is less than or equal to 5%, it is considered a similarity by chance (the figure does not respond to anything specific, the method has many random parts), and if it is greater it would be the result of some common past.

There is a formula to know the time elapsed between the period in which the contact occurred and the current moment, and the result with Basque was the following (with the rest of the languages with which Basque has been compared by this method the result is inferior and not significant):

list 215    list 100

Northwest Circassian Caucasian:

6.62% 7.52%

Northwest Avar Caucasian:

3.80%     5.37%

Georgian, South Caucasian:

4.73% 7.52%

Rift Tamazight (northern Morocco):  

6%         9.67%

Southern Tamazight (southern Morocco)    

7.38%       10.86%

Many of the similarities considered good are more than questionable, since the evolution of words and languages is not taken into account, some borrowings from other languages are considered good, etc.

Nor can we forget American linguist R.L. Trask, that compared Hungarian and Basque and found in 2 hours of searching 65 similar words that could only be the result of chance, but that lead to question many investigations: this exercise tested by other researchers with other unrelated languages has given the same surprising result. R.L. Trask said “I can't understand why some linguists get so excited when they find two dozen Basque words that look like two dozen other Berber or Sumerian words.”

Basque and the languages of the Caucasus

The Caucasus is located 4,000 kilometers from Garonne-Pyrénées-Ebro where the Basques live. In the Caucasus, about 50 different peoples coexist with almost 22 languages. The main difficulty in establishing the Basque-Caucasian relationship consists of this lack of unity.

Swadesh's lexico-statistical ratio of Circassian and Georgian to Basque is 7.52%, higher than any other language in the world. The supposed contact would have occurred in the Magdalenian, about 10,000 years ago. With the rest of the languages of the Caucasus, current Basque is similar in typology (verbs, the ergative, etc.) and in the etymology of some words, but its lexical-statistical relationship with all of them is less than 5%.

There are also parallels between Basque and Georgian in syntactic aspects, such as the use of the ergative (transitive-intransitive verbs, “Nor-Nork” forms) that do not occur in any other European language, the reflexive way of making sentences such as: “I have seen my head in the mirror” (nire burua ispiluan ikusi dut), and not: “I have seen myself in the mirror”, the use of base twenty to count, etc.

But many current or recent renowned linguists are skeptical about the relationship with the Caucasian languages. Basque linguist Koldo Mitxelena (1915-1987) said that: “In summary, there are some Basque-Caucasian lexical similarities that cannot be demonstrated to be possible, but on the other hand there are a large number whose extraordinary implausibility can be demonstrated (…). Even if Basque and the Caucasian languages go back to a common origin, the number of missing intermediate links must be so high that it is to be feared that, due to not knowing them, the ancient ties of kinship will not be established."

If there is a relationship, for both Koldo Mitxelena and Xabier Kintana, it has to go back to the fifth and sixth millennia or earlier.

Basque and Armenian

Armenian linguist and Basque philologist Vahan Sarkisian, creator of the Basque-Armenian Dictionary and a Grammar of the Basque Language in his language, is the main promoter of the "Basque-Armenian theory" and the one who has done the most work in recent years on ethnolinguistic kinship between both peoples.

This prestigious Armenian linguist affirms that "the best promoters of this theory were neither Basques nor Armenians and, therefore, they had no direct interests in the issue. I am referring to the Englishman Edward Spencer Dodgson and the German Joseph Karst. The former knew well Basque. In Paris he began to study Armenian and quickly detected the similarities, which he initially summarized in a list of 50 words. Karst was an Armenianologist and, when he came into contact with Basque, he compared issues related to anthropology, the phonetic system, the grammar and the lexicon and extracted more than 400 similarities. (...) We understand without problems, for example, what Zabaltegi, or Ormazabal means, because it means exactly the same in Armenian. We feel at home, and that already means something. Armenian is considered an Indo-European language (Basque is the only pre-Indo-European language in all of Europe, prior to the invasions of these peoples), but if we bring to light the twenty most important regularities of the language we will see that they coincide more with Basque than with any other neighboring languages such as Georgian or Persian. And not only referring to the lexicon. In Armenian, for example, words are not formed with an initial -r, our throat has a hard time pronouncing it. The same thing happens to the Basque language, to the Basque throat.

Neither Armenian nor Basque recognize the accumulation of consonants, they are unpronounceable to us, while in other languages neighboring ours, such as Georgian, groups of up to five or six consonants are common. We could mention many other characteristics that separate us from our neighbors and bring us closer to Basque, such as the postponed article, the way of forming the plural, not to mention toponymy, which provides an enormous amount of similarities. (…) I believe that this type of coincidences - which even affect the articulation apparatus, which has a physiological nature - cannot arise from mere contact, they cannot be imported or exported. Karst said that Armenian and Basque are two varieties of the same linguistic stem (…) The only thing I would dare to say with any certainty is that perhaps in ancient times the entire area was occupied by the same ethnic-cultural element, which gave way terrain to other elements, leaving vestiges in Euskadi and Armenia, as survivors of a great and ancient civilization.”

It is curious that Armenian – which does not give any relationship with Basque through the Swadesh method – and Georgian are, apparently, more similar to Basque than to each other when they are neighboring peoples. To conclude this short summary, let's share a toponymic curiosity: in Georgia there is Mount Gorbeya (like the highest mountain in Bizkaia and Alaba), in Armenia is the sacred Mount Ararat (like the Aralar mountain range between Alaba, Gipuzkoa and Alta Navarra), and also a mountain named Gora (mountain in the language of the area and "up" in Basque). The curiosity is even greater because the Araxes River bathes Mount Aralar, and in the Armenian Mount Ararat there is a river called... Araxes.

Basque and Tamazight

Tamazight, by the Swadesh method, is not related to Arabic or Egyptian; nor with Georgian, but with Basque, as well as the Cadmitosemitic languages from which it comes. Therefore, Basque is a language that may have common elements with Georgian and Berber, but they do not have any with each other.

The percentage of lexical-statistical relationship of Swadesh of Basque with Southern Tamazight is 7.38% and with Rift Tamazight is 6% (taking the 215 words because with 100 the percentage increases). Therefore, by this method there would be a relationship or common substrate between both languages. Based on the percentage relationship, contact would have taken place about 8,000-9,000 years ago.

In Berber the names given to animals are very similar to those given in Basque. «Aker» & «iker» (billygoat), «asto» & «ezet» (donkey); They also coincide in the way of saying horse, crow, river, brother, lie, name ("Izen" and "isem"), "I" and others.

Within this analysis we must mention the Guanches, native inhabitants of the Canary Islands before the arrival of the Spaniards. From the writings found (archaeology confirms this) it is believed that the Guanches would speak a Tamazight language that, due to the isolation of the islands, would maintain a greater degree of relationship with Basque. There are those who even see Basque place names in the Canary Islands such as: Los Llanos de Aridane (Harrigane: stone peak), Argindei, Tinizara (Tinitzaha), Tajuia, Tenegia, Jedei (Iedegi) in La Palma and in Lanzarote: Masdeche (Mahats- etxe: grape-house), Haria, Orzola, Guinate (Gainate: high step), Yaiza (haitza: rock), Ajache, Tesegite, Mozaza etc.

An anecdote that is often told is that the first conquerors of the Canary Islands believed that the natives spoke Basque.

Between Basque and Tamazight the similarities are reduced to the lexical or lexicographic level, since syntactically and grammatically there does not seem to be any relationship, both in current speech and in the past; there are just similarities in verbal articulation or in the use of some particles.

Julio Caro Baroja said in this regard: “I must warn in any case that the relationship between Basque and the African languages called Hamitic is not as founded as claimed. On the contrary, the hypothesis of a relationship between Basque and the Caucasian languages, which is perhaps the one that has produced the least interest in the Peninsula, seems to be the most prudent, because it is based on linguistic, morphological and strict observations.

Koldo Mitxelena had the same opinion, and believed it was necessary to study more the relationship between Basque and the Caucasian languages which, unlike the supposed kinship with Tamazight, did cause serious doubts.

[x]

@knario47

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 3x10-The Winter Carnival Episode-Pt 3

Where have I heard an ever so slight variation of this brilliant pick up line before?

I see he's refining his moves. Adding some tweaks. It takes years of practice to turn into the Super Slutbag MegaWhore he will eventually become.

Oh. She actually believes he was talking about homework-homework and not Strip Homework.

Yes, dear. Upstairs. A place that one typically arrives at after ascending a set of stairs.

Maybe she's catching on. Time to bring back my favorite imaginary narrators, the two sports announcers, one is named Bob and one is named Bill. Take it away, fellas. Bill : Bob, I do believe Miss Gilmore thinks Mr.Mariano actually wants to help her with her calculus homework. Bob: Yet, we both know that Mr Mariano here is only thinking about division and subtraction. Bill: Subtracting clothes? Bob: Indeed Bill. But it's going to take alllllll day to remove all those layers! Can they beat the Cockblock?! Bill: Oh mercy! Here she comes barreling through the door! Will they make it upstairs in time?!

Bob: Looks like there will be no Closet Checkers for Jess and Rory today. Bill: His balls have gotta hurt, Bob. Bob: Neon blue, Bill.

You still can't make up your mind, can you? And yes they were until you came along. You ruin everything, you ruiner. Someone secured a day pass to leave The Bubble and went to the mall to buy ol Richard some junk for his birthday. A bathroom scale, a coin sorter, and a tie. A Happy Walgreens Christmas to all! Rory totally one ups her Mommy by revealing that she purchased a much more thoughtful gift for Grandpa. Take the small wins where you can get em, girl.

Here comes a gift that its parents wished they could return to customer service after its birth.

When have you ever been sorry about jack squat, you withered pine cone?

"I could have been doing HOMEWORK with Jess but now I'm here. I really like homework."

Well, you do live in a town of like, 46 people, so.

Mr "I casually strolled into your mother's kitchen unannounced at night to try and fufill my dreams of awkwardly nailing her for 15 seconds before you could catch us" here talking about how awkward it was to discover Rory was home at her own house.

"Getting coffee with Dean" is just a gateway drug to "Agreeing to talk to Dean alone at night in a dark alleyway" I'm afraid there's little hope for her.

How about Rory sits in a chair and you sit on a railroad spike?

Maybe Rory isn't neuro-different and this is just a defense mechanism to weird Dean out and get him to leave.

Sure, why not.

Well, you do kill women's appetites, buddy. (Except Lorelai's). Dean: You look incredibly uncomfortable. Rory: Oh, it's not you, it's just The Situation.

Yeah, it's never Dean, it's always just The Situation. That's a big word for Dean.

I can't be mad at Dean for aiming somewhere in the middle and trying to do something with his life. College, good for you Dean. I'm in favor of anything that will get him out of Stars Hollow.

Seeing he is a 6'4 blob with no personality and a rotating range of interests that come and go with the breeze, I'd be curious what he wants to major in. I mean, softball, reading, the motorcycle, and building cars have all gone by the wayside already, now it's going to be hockey? Mr McKellan writing to the college: Dear Sir: Get this fucknugget out of my class. He's your problem now. Please take him for the love of god.

Rory reacts with mild surprise upon hearing Dean’s four year college aspirations, especially since she thought he was aiming even lower (the two dirtiest words on Gilmore Girls unless it's Lorelai going there and then it's fine are: "community college") You lay off him! Doubting Dean’s academic and sexual capabilities is my job.

Wow Dean, you got to read a brochure? I heard that Rory once tried to read a Yale brochure and Lorelai grabbed it and threw in the trash while screaming SHES GOING TO HARVARD! It was weird. Also, you can read? R; What happened to community college? D: I changed my mind Rory:

The Gilmore Girlies really seem to have a hard time understanding this concept of "changing one's mind".

And he continues, "And all that talk about "you can do more". Jess would never describe Rory giving him books to read as "pushing all those crazy books on him". Dean makes it sound like "books" are some crazy foriegn concept to him, like not being human tree fungus. And she "pushed them" on him. Did she hold a gun to your head? (I mean, he was acting like she had a gun to his head when she tried to get him enthusiastic about visiting the book fair) And because of "all those crazy books" she forced him to read and her lukewarm "you can do more" encouragement, he's suddenly an Educated Dean now, now he wants to go to a four year college. Oh that Rory Gilmore, she's such a miracle worker. Meanwhile Jess is praying for a Miracle Handjob. Rory describes herself as "The Rain Man" of college application requirements and wants to help Dean apply to college, which is funny to me, because she had only just begun the process of applying to more than one college in the last episode because Lorelai had her in the Harvard Chokehold. Not her fault, but she really shouldn't be giving herself any accolades there. And you shouldn't be offering to help Dean with, like, anything. Let him figure it out on his own. Jesus, Rory.

Said literally nobody ever in the history of time except Rory this one time. Dean wanted to call Rory earlier to tell her about these mediocre dreams of his, but he couldn't, because of you know, The Guy. I'm sorry Dean, you need to make a friend who is NOT Rory and NOT her MILF Mom. Get a gerbil to talk to or something. You mean to tell me you haven't made any friends from all these sports and hobbies that you get involved in for 1-3 episodes? Let's see how Rory throws Jess under the bus to placate Dean! R:You still could have called me. D:I can't get over how weird it is. I go from seeing you every day to not seeing you every day. I got used to talking to you every day. It's a hard thing to let go of. R: (sadly) I know. Me too. D: Can we be friends? R: (perking up) REALLY? I want to! I really want to! D: Don't ask me how I'm going to deal with HIM. I have no idea. R: Okay. D: Let's take this slowly. "Dealing" with Rory's new boyfriend is something you're gonna have to work on, you skunk. Listen to me, you two sneaky dirtbags. You both SUCK. I feel like this conversation is so low down and dirty and disprectful to poor Jess, even though he may not know everything that happens and what is said when he's not around and even though Rory is just placating Dean like she always has. Enough is enough Rory. Grow a fucking spine already.

(As an aside: she’s always so concerned that random townies will notice her business and spread gossip, but she’s not concerned that someone will see her conversing cozily with Dean over custard pies at the bakery and this won’t make it back to Jess?) I do not like how Rory is treating Jess already, and their relationship is only three episodes in. Arghhh. Salty is pissed!

[bisnes-socks]

okay welcome to my second šbj ted talk 😌 today we are discussing (i am rambling on about) composition bc wow!!!!!!! the boys done outdid themselves.

i will be making references to my post about jure and the drums, so if you want to read that first it's here.

because like. isn't it funny how in that drum ted talk, which i wrote and posted hours before the animated video came, i talked about how the beginning of the song, the main riff part with its unexpected drum beat and patterns, feels like it's stomping, and then the video came out and the character stomps away (okay walks with attitude) that whole section? ANYWAY

compositionally speaking i think this one is one of the most interesting JO songs bc it has multiple type of beats, vibes and sections, that go together very well, and they've not only composed the changes between these variations in a clever way, they've also written a song that really allows each member to shine. it's a true band song to me and i loooove that.

note: though nothing i say here is like unique to this song, these aren't like rare or unusual tools they use here. i just think that this song highlights many of them really well.

the first details i want to talk about are certain melodies/chromatic ascensions or decensions. i am unfortunately not physically in a place where i could check exact notes, pitches, keys or anything, so i'm going by ear and i do not have perfect pitch sooo let me live.

but have you noticed that the riff section ends in the guitar doing pretty much the exact opposite as the vocal descension? not after every round of the riff, but before bojan starts singing again. the guitar ascends, chromatically, it goes up note at a time. i don't know if it's the exact same notes in reverse, but the effect is the same but in reverse. now, that ascension does not end on a note that would be as satisfying to end on, no. it creates a sort of tension: we have to go somewhere after this note, we can't stay suspended here. 

but you know how the line "šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio?" goes down at the end? the singing melody descends, chromatically, and it's very satisfying for their listener bc it follows the scale that we're used to in most western music. it ends on a note where it feels good to either keep going, to a new section, as the song does at first, or end it there, as the song also does in the end.

and i'd argue that in the beginning, that bit, the melodic descension down to where the whole band kicks in and starts stomping away, highlights the mood of that section and the purpose it serves in the song. like i keep saying, that part sort of stomps, and it's like.. the part of the song that chugs forward. it has this feeling of going up and down (a good vibe to jump or nod your head to, or walk or stomp to, no?) but it also has this feeling of going forward. the descending melody kind of sends it on its way and we're all going with it.

and that tension carries the verse, which does not have the same forward drive as the riff part. but we have been, melodically, brought to a place, with that guitar ascending, where we want to hear more. so we stay there, with the verse. and where does the verse ultimately take us? back to the stomping riff, to chug forward again. without the riff bits the verses would feel like they're left suspended in tension.

and does it feel like the line "šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio?" is either longer or shorter than you expected, or it has an unexpected rhythm to it, especially for it's place in the song? 

because these little moments that are rhytmically unexpected, like the "šta bih ja..." line, and the drum syncopation, where a hi-hat crash comes a beat later than you expect in the riff section, they create moments that pique your interest as a listener. 

well, it does have an unexpected rhythm and an unexpected time signature. Two bars of 4 and one bar of 2, with the vocal line overlapping with the 1 of the next bar, if i counted right. (disclaimer: if i got it wrong i learned to count as a dancer, not as a musician lmao). and i think that all of that also plays super well into everything i talked about before, and also everything i talked about regarding the drums in the riff section. 

and they're small enough decorations that we're not venturing off into like prog or jazz territory, the song remains in a poprock world compositionally speaking, and the tempo doesn't change until the faster section in the end, which makes it all easy and pleasant to listen, but they change things up just enough to keep the listener super hooked. and then of course the tempo change at the end, at least, will challenge anyone just absentmindedly tapping their foot along like it's backround music, to really pay attention. and i just think it's very clever.

and then the "a ja samo čekam.." part is also an interesting part, bc as i said in my first ted talk, it switches between a more aggressive straight forward beat and a more groovy beat, and that's super clever, bc like. if it was just the aggression through the entire part, it would most likely get a bit exhausting and a bit too much for the composition. so by alternating between the aggression and the downright dance-vibe of the groovy beat, the composition creates progression. so that even the most aggressive bit of the song isn't just... screaming into a pillow, it's going somewhere. shoutout (shautaut) to the bassline in these bits as well!! the bass actually provides a lot of melodic components in that section, bc the vocal line is super one note. it's smart to elevate the bass like that.

and THEN!! the faster bit at the end!! suddenly we're going all arctic monkeys aren't we, and i love it, give me all the straightforward 2010's brit rock vibes and i will eat it up. and this part is like.. releasing everything. all of the tension that has built up, we've kind of reached where we've been stomping off to, and it's time to let loose. and so they do. and then collect it all together with a final "šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio?" and this time we end on that satisfying final note and we're here, we're a little out of breath, but we've arrived and we've got all the jitters out and we're done. excellent way to end the song.

and this is getting extremely long now so i think we have also reached the end of the ted talk thank you goodbye.

[sannyo-appreciation-posts]

What Exactly Is Sannyo Smoking?

Well of course it sucks Mamizou, don't you remember what she said it's made of?

Now, an herb you can smoke that can grow on a mountain. The first, most obvious, initial guess would be marijuana. It's a weed after all, it can grow basically anywhere. Plus, let us be honest, it would be a little funny.

marijuana can definitely grow on mountains, it even grows on mountains in Central Asia

Plus, it is apparently spreading over northern Japan right now as a weed. They used to grow it for hemp material, not to smoke, it would probably not do much, but that wouldn't stop Sannyo if she wanted to give it a shot.

(Except I'm deliberately teasing)

There is a very, very obvious reason why it's not marijuana.

Marijuana has no nicotine, even though you can smoke it, it's not by any stretch of the imagination "tobacco"

Even if we imagine a world where this is the only thing Sannyo ever smoked, Mamizou smoked it with her and just said it was bad tobacco, not to mention Mamizou has recently been to the outside world and would probably know weed in seconds. (Which, although hypothetical, would have made for a hilarious Mamizou thought bubble)

We are looking for "tobacco" after all, we need nicotine, not just anything you can smoke, but it's a weed and a popular joke, so I obviously had to tease.

I could go through every variant of wild Nicotiana, tobacco was even imported to Japan by Portuguese sailors in 1542, and it's cultivation was legalized in 1625. The Hakurei barrier was formed in 1885, that's actually plenty of time for actual wild tobacco to spread.

But it might not work either.

While we might find some enthusiastic and previously cultivated tobacco growing as a weed that spread up to the mountains, it's not going to be unique enough. It'll be growing all over the place by the time it gets up a mountain. And the village would be smoking that exact same thing.

But most importantly, it's no fun.

Truth be told, there is a genus of Nicotiana that would work well in mountains, furthermore, Portugal actually had some at the time as an import from the Americas. But thats no fun, so I'll just return to this later when I inevitably run out of exotic options.

After all, if its tobacco made from "herbs" it would boarder on cheating to just use nicotiana, regardless of the form it ends up in.

Thankfully, there are other herbs and weeds beyond nicotiana that actually have nicotine, it really would be worthwhile check one of those.

And I've got a fun one. A whole family in fact.

Just above the Genus: "Nicotiana" is the Tribe: "Nicotianeae" and above that we find the family Solanaceae.

The Solanaceae, also known as the potato or deadly nightshade family

Nicotine is a naturally produced alkaloid in the nightshade family of plants

It contains everything from eggplants and other vegetables to the infamous Deadly Nightshade. (Atropa belladonna)

And of course, like I said, further down the family, it even has nicotiana itself. All of them contain nicotine to some greater or lesser extent. (Yes, hilariously even eggplants, a little bit)

Solanaceae consists of about 98 genera and some 2,700 species. They grow naturally in more parts of the world than wild Nicotiana.

But we are just going to be looking through the nightshade variations, maybe some fruit, but no potatoes today. And these are coveniently famous for their narcotic effects.

And some varieties, such as the Datura stramonium (occasionally called the Devil's Trumpet) had its leaves smoked in pipes and cigarettes, so much they were traded by the East India Company in the 18th century. And since it was popular for traditional medicine, some people might have even planted it.

But that type is not native to Japan, so it's got the same problem as the nicotiana. Not to mention, even though its an invasive weed, and can survive a little below the freezing point, in its current state, it probably doesn't like mountains. It probably wouldn't last a full winter on one.

This might be definite enough to just say it can be some hypothetical, wild, non specific variation of nightshade with the right combination of alkaloids and nicotine and presumably, relatively non deadly in the form Sannyo uses it.

Or maybe it is just better adapted to mountains form of imported of the Datura stramonium I just mentioned. I doubt even if it spread like a weed, that anyone but Sannyo would bother to figure out you can smoke that type of plant as tobacco.

But we are mostly just having fun at this point.

I doubt we could possibly think Zun cared up to this point, and definitely not beyond this point, we are just doing a fun overanalysis after all. Zun almost always seems to go for extinct species anyway, so it wouldn't be fun to follow that train of thought regardless..

[But if we just want a probable canonical answer Zun thought up. He might have just meant some non specific extinct variation of nightshade, since if there is at least one native version then that's enough to claim there could have once been others,

Besides, it's even possible zun just imagined she could possibly even mix her favorite flowers somehow, which while she probably could not, it would definitely be cute. ]

But we are going to take this further anyway to see if we can find something real and possible that currently exists today.

The simplest thing to think of native to Japan is just Japanese belladonna (Zun's proof of concept for an imaginary extinct nightshade if he really wanted a hypothetical one)

Scopolia japonica, also called Japanese belladonna. It's about as dangerous as the name implies. If eaten by mistake it can cause hallucinations. And while it no doubt contains at least some nicotine, it also contains the alkaloids Scopolamine

And more hilariously Hyoscyamine, known for helping the colon or bladder...

yes, you can use this extract to help you poop or pee if you want too.

Which is even funnier than the marijuana joke i made earlier.

And the only other species in the Scopolia genus is pretty similar and in Korea.

So we'll want to find something different.

But we are trapped. We only have imports left.

And the Datura genus we'd likely want is stuck in the Americas so we can only really consider a variety that came from those possible 18th century imports of Datura stramonium.

They are pretty perfect, tbh, spread widely to the Old World early where it has also become naturalized, and since it was already a weed that could endure dry climate and fairly cold environments. It could probably spread up a mountain.

They are our best bet for something you can smoke for recreation, with nicotine, outside the nicotiana genus that only Sannyo would use. If smoked people used its properties for recreation but you can also use it for anesthesia. Inject it's primary ingredient Atropine and you can use it for all sorts of weird stuff. (Though I pretty much resigned myself to having Atropine in the plant the moment I decided to run up and down the nightshade family).

Though in truth, she's probably just smoking wild tobacco that has lost a lot of flavor while struggling to adapt the mountain. So I'll move on to the most likely answer.

Portugal's more early tobacco is Nicotiana rustica, also called Aztec tobacco.

It is pretty tough and would probably adapt to a mountain pretty well.

I'd like to think it's the Datura stramonium since it's cooler and weird though.

In overview:

The simplest, best answer is just wild imported Aztec tobacco (Nicotiana rustica) from Portugal. Which had trade with Japan open up extremely early. Its honestly perfect for this

Followed by the more provocative option of Devil's Trumpet (Datura stramonium) imported later in the 18th century.

and the funny option. The only one actually native to Japan

Japanese belladonna (Scopolia japonica)

But it's almost definitely just that Aztec tobacco. (Nicotiana rustica)

We could just imagine she mixes flowers or herbs into it to validate her "herbs" comment if we want (which again, would be cute)

[kathanglangit]

The Sixth Blade - ... - Fear Itself

Last two days! Gubat Banwa launches on Kickstarter on October 10, and we need your help to get the word out! Silence your fear- stifle it if you must. Harness it if you can. Fear begets hesitation, Kadungganan, and when rivers bleed, and skies burn, and blades dance to the rhythm of cannonfire- Hesitation is death. Let the Sword Isles of Gubat Banwa paint your stories in its thousand colors, inspired by the intricate cultures of Southeast Asia. Carve your legacy into the world by blade and smoke as warrior Kadungganan in this tactical martial arts TTRPG.

Not long now until the long-anticipated KS launch, and I've been posting the weapons I've drawn for the game as a sort of countdown. These were supposed to be Swordtember drawings, but the launch got bumped back a little bit. 6/7 blades! The penultimate entry goes to the CORDILLERAN AXE

Some time in June 2020, a certain weapon was intercepted in Australia entering the country from the United States. An ancient terror-weapon, which brought low the conquistadors of old, and drenched the soil of the pine mountains such that the ground remains the color of rust. In November the following year, the ax was returned to the Philippines. Strap in- it's about to get really convoluted.

(Photo from the Philippine Embassy in Australia) You may be wondering why I referred to this blade as a "Cordilleran Ax" rather than using a native term like in the rest of this series. That is mostly because the ax comes in many forms, and bears many, many names. Seriously, you wouldn't believe how many names there are for these things.

(Photo from the collection of Nonoy Tan) They are commonly called "head axes" (we'll get to why in a minute- but you can probably guess), referring to a collective of different blades of a more-or-less similar shape, used by the peoples of the Cordilleras. "Igorot" is a general term used to refer to these peoples of the mountains of north Luzon.

(Diagram by Lorenz Lasco)

You will recall from the thread on the hinalung that Spain never took the Cordilleras, allowing the peoples there to more easily preserve their traditions and cultures. These axes belong to some of those same cultures. These- too- were preserved from way back.

(Figure from The Tingguian: Social, Religious, and Economic Life of a Philippine Tribe by Fay-Cooper Cole) It's easy to forget that these objects- all of the blades I've been posting about- are very deeply embedded in cultures that still exist today. These peoples have their own names and stories and knowledge of these blades that I simply do not have access to the way they do. It's all I can do to try and deliver accurate info without misrepresenting anything.

(Photo from the National Museum) And try I have. This is a diagram I tried to make as a reference, way, way back.

I know a bit more now, I'm not sure if I still stand by this, I am sure that it will need some updating. Due diligence is the bare minimum we can do, to respect the knowledge of people who are still around. Allow me to try again! The one I drew in the image at the start of this thread is called the SINAWIT. This is the Kalinga variant of the axe. From what I can tell, those with the curved/concave cutting edges tend to belong in this category.

(Photo from Pinoy Blade Hunter) Supposedly, the protrusion on the handle is also indicative of a Kalinga origin.

(Photo from Ursulo of Filipino Traditional Blades)

(Photos from Global Inventory of Filipiniana Artifacts) Here's some close-ups of another example, featuring ornamentation in the form of copper/copper-alloy "staples" along the handle, which may have also aided in providing grip.

(Photos from Lorenz Lasco) Variations in size are common across all the axes we'll be looking at, some are short and fit well in one-hand, others are large enough to accommodate two. The biggest ones I've seen are sinawit.

(Photo from Christian Vasquez of Filipino Traditional Blades)

(Photo from Ron Zambarrano) Next up is the GAMEN or GAMAN. This is the Bontoc variant of the axe. Here's a gamen (top) compared to a sinawit (bottom) of similar size. Notice the difference in the shapes of the blades.

(Photo from the collection of Zel Umali as shared by Filipino Traditional Blades) Another term that gets thrown around is "pinagas", though I believe this is a general term referring to all "head axes" rather than one specific variant. I could very well be wrong on this, as the word pinagas has to come from one of the many languages in the Cordlieeras- I'm just not certain which. This one was labelled "Bontoc pinagas".

(Photo from Zel Umali) The thickness of the blade tends to vary as durability requires. In particular, the spike on the back tends to be thicker overall. Portions of the blade closer to the handle appear to be thicker as well.

(Photos from Lorenz Lasco) Examples of the gaman as I have seen them tend to have more straight or sometimes convex blades. I am uncertain if the convex shape is a unique feature, or a product of happenstance, or just how whoever used this blade liked to sharpen it.

(Photo from Pinoy Blade Hunter) They also tend to be "taller" than sinawit I've seen, with blades that are almost like squares with spikes on the back, as opposed to sinawit that are more rectangular. Still following so far? Good- it's going to get more complicated soon.

I am not- by any means- formally educated on Philippine blades, so always take my words with a grain of salt. This ax inherited by a blacksmith in Baguio is something that might be gaman, but I can't categorize it with certainty without knowing more. The profile is not exactly the same, the spike is considerably longer and more curved.

(Photo from HanYan Blades) But that's the least of our worries! The ALIWA, BINARAWAD, BADAN, BADON, BINAROY are only some of the terms used to refer to the Isneg variants. Remember when I said it would get convoluted?

(Photo from Nonoy Tan; Identified as binarawad-badan-badon in that order) The binarawad in the previous photo looks- to my very untrained eye- to be similar to the gaman in many respects. Whenever I think I've identified a distinction, a different specimen shows up.

(??? from Rob Miller)

(Gaman(?) from Hearst Museum) Remember when I said the protrusion on the handle was uniquely Kalinga? But I also said taller/squarer blades were common in gaman? But the swept shape on the back looks emblematic of the Isneg variants we just saw? Identify that topmost blade for me, real quick.

(Photo from Pinoy Blade Hunter) Material exchange of culture makes a mess of categorization. The peoples of the Cordilleras regularly interacted- by trade, union, or warfare- and the influences clearly went all ways. Perhaps that blade above was made by a smith who took influences from a variety of sources. Perhaps the blade itself has worn out its old handle, and the new owner replaced it with this one There are a lot of ways this could have come about, it's difficult to say. Blades tend to make their way around. This sinawit- a Kalinga blade- has been passed down through generations, and was found in Sagada.

(Photo from Pinoy Blade Hunter) It certainly doesn't help when blades are found far from home and are labelled with confusing specific terms or useless general terms or just different terms entirely.

[Author's Note: Apparently there's a 30 image limit per post? I'll continue this in a reblog, I think.]

[olderthannetfic]

A hanfu isn't just a robe, though. It's a specific type of traditional outfit that has even more specific variations, and while you could describe it more specifically (e.g. she put on her red ruqun, with a pleated horse-face skirt), it isn't always relevant. I've never seen anyone bring this up for, say, kimonos, and I don't think the GOT comparison is fair, either. It'd be more like "he puts on his armour". What type of armour—lamellar, chainmail, heavy, leather? It doesn't always matter. 1/2

--

2/2. Putting down a category of traditional clothing as "meta terminology" also rather irritates me. Again, looking at kimonos. Perhaps it's unfamiliar because CN fashion isn't as widespread as JP, but it's literally just what the broad category of clothing is called, and within the context of danmei fandoms, it shouldn't be unfamiliar knowledge. Trying to Americanize everything by simply calling everything a 'robe' loses the point entirely and is the equivalent of really terrible translation. Sorry, one more thing. When I picture a "robe", I think of wizards. DND. Bathrobes. None of which bear any similarity to a hanfu, and unless you want to describe "a parted robe made of flowing Yun brocade with loose sleeves that wraps around the body, with a wide collar that has its right lapel crossed over its left, tied at the waist with a belt, with a jade pendant weighing down the long skirt" every single time it's brought up, I'm pretty sure "hanfu" is a more accurate descriptor by far.

Uh... anon...

1.

'Robe' is an extremely vague term that absolutely is used for all sorts of garments from all over the world.

The fact that you associate it with a tiny fraction of its conventional meanings isn't going to change how other people use it.

2.

I am indeed more familiar with kimono than hanfu, but I thought the other people did make explicit what their issue is, and it exists for Japan too.

Depending on when your canon is set (or its vague, handwave-y apparent time period for more fantasy canons), the word may not have been in use yet.

'Kimono' as a word is possibly as recent as the 19th Century, though I see one etymological dictionary saying 1630s. Prior to the 19thC, a lot of things we would now call 'kimono' were known as 'kosode'. The further back you go, the more other terms there are and the more the distinctions matter.

I'm personally a fan of fiction set in the Heian period, and they would absolutely not have been calling anything a "kimono" then, nor do the robes look like modern kimono.

Furthermore, a generic-ass word like 'wear on upper body'+'thing' doesn't get its modern interpretation until it has significant competition from Western clothing. Today, it has a relatively narrow range of interpretations based on the calcified form of traditional Japanese clothing that still hangs on.

It's an absurd affectation to insist on calling all ancient Japanese clothing 'kimono'.

That wouldn't be de-Americanizing your writing.

That would be "According to keikaku".

--

From what I've seen in other people's meta posts about Chinese fandoms, the reason people object to 'hanfu' in fic is that this word has gained a lot of popularity in very recent history as part of the hanfu revival movement.

While it existed before that, it wasn't used so consistently, and it mainly turned up in contexts talking about Chinese as opposed to foreign clothing. It doesn't seem to have been a general term used like "So-and-so put on his completely normal outfit to get ready for the day".

People are using it (outside of fic) to talk about a specific range of historically accurate Chinese clothing. It doesn't cover everything, and in the modern and highly gatekept usage, it specifically doesn't cover historically-inspired fantasy costumes like those on The Untamed.

If you're Chinese and you feel it should cover those, fair enough, but that isn't what a lot of the hanfu education blogs have been saying.

People aren't pulling this out of their asses out of a desire to be American. They're getting it from hanfu blogs asking them not to use the word like that.

If you think those blogs are wrong, please say that.

[lucy90712]

Road to recovery- Part 1

Masterlist

Lola's POV

Do you ever think why me? That's exactly what I'm thinking right now. I don't know what I did to deserve this I think I'm a good person I try to be nice to everyone I meet but now I'm starting to wonder why I even bothered. 

 My day started off exactly the same as it always does my alarm goes off at 7 and I get myself ready to go on a run. I'm usually gone for about an hour and half before I come back and shower and eat breakfast. Then I get on with some uni work for most of the day as I do my school work remotely to help fit it into my schedule. The like always training starts at 5 so I make sure to arrive at 4 as I like to get warmed up properly and work on some of my skills on my own. 

As its competition season I have been spending a lot more of my time in the gym practicing my routines time and time again until they are perfect. My coaches are also trying to push my level so I also tirelessly work on new skills in hopes that they can be included in my routine at the next competition so my difficulty is increased. It’s hard work but I love it. Gymnastics has always been part of my life, I started when I was two in a class for babies but apparently I was always better than the rest so my parents were told to put me into a more advanced class. They did exactly that and ever since I've always been the youngest one in each class I was put in and then when I made a team for the first time I was still the youngest. I was called up to the youth Spanish team as soon as I was old enough and now I'm working towards my first olympics. 

Today happened to be my last training session before my next competition which happens to be a pretty major one. Everything was going exactly to plan and like it always does I had managed to get a new skill on the bars and we worked it into my routine so now I have a bit more of an edge on my competition. After bars it was time for vault as that is my weakest rotation and my coaches want me to work on it before the Olympics as you can't have a weakness if you want to be competitive at the Olympics. 

I did my usual vault a few times before trying a new variation with more twists. My a first attempt was a fail as I chickened out and didn't even do a proper vault. My second attempt was better but not great. My third attempt it went all wrong and I under rotated and came landing down really hard on one leg which twisted my knee awkwardly. I've had bad landings before but when I realised that I was in complete agony and my knee just felt off I knew it wasn't good. My coaches also knew straight away that something wasn't right as I alway get up right after a fall but instead I just laid there with an arm over my eyes to try and stop myself crying. 

Everything after that happened so quickly I was taken by ambulance to the hospital where they ran so many tests. CTs, MRIs, ultrasounds you name it I'm sure they did it. That was the worst part as each time a new test was done I saw the doctors looking more and more concerned and no one would tell me anything no matter how much I begged. There's nothing worse than being cold, in pain and scared as you don't have a clue what's going on. Eventually someone came to tell me what was wrong and weirdly I kind of wish they hadn't as it wasn't what I wanted to hear at all.

"I'm afraid that you have a complete tear in your acl and a further injury in your meniscus which we can't know the extent of until we perform surgery" the doctor explained 

"Wait that's bad isn't it how long will I be out for?" I asked 

"I’m afraid you are looking at up to 9 months out" the doctor said 

"No no I'm supposed to be going to the Olympics I can't be out for that long" I cried 

"I'm afraid you will miss the olympics this injury has a long recovery time your surgery will be next Tuesday the 28th we will see you then" the doctor said before getting my discharge papers sorted and leaving 

What did I do to deserve this. 

Gavi's POV

The pain was instant. Straight away I knew something was wrong especially when I couldn't walk properly without being in complete agony. I didn't want to believe it so I tried to keep going but I just couldn't there was something seriously wrong. I'm not sure whether it was the pain or the possibility that I might not play again for a long time but I couldn't stop tears flowing down my face. The team and the coaches did their best to comfort me but it was no use it just felt like my world was crashing and burning around me. 

Of course they sent me straight off to the hospital for tests as the physios at the stadium knew my injury was beyond their capabilities which didn't fill me with any hope whatsoever. No one wanted to talk to me as we traveled to the hospital so it was completely silent as I was thinking about how long I'll be away from football and how awful that will be. Even once we got to the hospital the doctors were just doing tests and not saying anything. Everyone was treating me like a child who wouldn't understand anything they said when really I'm not stupid they could just tell me what they are doing and what they think is wrong and I'd understand just fine. 

"It looks like you have torn your acl we can't tell the full extent of the injury at the moment so you will have it have further tests back in Barcelona" the doctor explained 

"It can't be it can't be I have to play what about the euros and the champions league" I sobbed 

"I'm afraid you are going to have to miss those" the doctor said 

~~~~~~~~~~

Since getting back home I haven't slept at all as my knee is still in a lot of pain and I can't stop thinking about how I won't play again this season. My agent came to drive me to my second set of tests and unlike yesterday when I just wanted someone to tell me what was up and that it would all be fine I didn't want to talk to anyone. They ran all of the same tests on me again presumably hoping to find a different outcome but let's be real it's never going to get better is it. Unlike yesterday everyone was fussing over me and making sure I was feeling ok which was just quite overwhelming when I wanted to just be left alone with my thoughts. 

Yet again all of the results were discussed in the next room over without me but I could still see what was going on. Everyone in the room didn't look hopeful and there was a few people on the phone and writing things down which didn't seem like a good thing. At this point I've come to accept that I'm not going to be playing for a long time so I just want to get on with my recovery as I need something to do all of this sitting around and waiting is driving me crazy. 

"So Gavi we are sorry to say that along with your acl tear you also have an associated injury to the meniscus which extends the recovery time so you are likely to be out for 7-9 months and you will need surgery which we have scheduled for next week on the 28th" the doctor told me 

No one else had anything to say to me and I just wanted to go home so my agent drove me home then left me so I could think about why this had to happen to me. 

[adarkrainbow]

To conclude my series of posts about "Frau Holle" (honestly this character is so cool, why isn't there more of her alongside other "great archetypal fairytale witch-goddesses"? She's clearly equal to the likes of Baba Yaga), I will share some elements highlighted by Cyrille François in another article which focused on the brothers Grimm's edit of their fairytales... The article initially covers how the story of "Frau Holle" evolved from the Grimm's first collect/first edition to their final "product", the one we know today.

Because if you didn't know, yes the brothers Grimm collected faithfully all sorts of oral tales around them... But the fairytales we know today are edited versions of the text they collected. For example, when they collected several variations of a same fairytale, they tried to fuse them into one story (this is why the German "Little Red Riding Hood", or rather "Little Red Cap", has two wolves instead of one). They also were known to modify their tales to make them more "German" because their entire point was to collect and preserve purely German folklore. They notably removed all French elements from the fairytales - elements unavoidable since before them THE dominating continent of fairytales was the French one, but elements hated since the French were perceived as the enemies and invaders of Germany... This is why the first edition of the brothers Grimm fairytales contained German variations of purely French stories such as Puss in Boots, Blue-Beard or "The Orange Tree and the Bee", that the Grimms promptly removed upon identifying their French origin ; and this is also why in the first-edition version of several fairytales we can find terms of French origin ("Fee" for "fée", "fairy" or "Prinz" for "prince"), that the Grimms also promptly erased...

Here are some key points of the evolution of "Frau Holle", from the first edition to the last:

In the first edition, the good girl went to the well to fetch water. This made the story closer to its "ancestor" and French counterpart, Perrault's "Diamonds and Toads". By the second edition onward, the girl goes to the well to spin straw ; this was also made to highlight the presence of Frau Holle, which in German legends is a figure associated with spinsters and weaving. It also makes the story more cohesive.

Up until the 1837 version, the text is unclear and vague enough that a possibility is left open: the girl might have thrown herself into the well as an act of suicide, caused by despair. Of course, the Grimms couldn't have that - after all the heroine of a fairytale can't be rewarded for trying to kill herself - and so from 1840 onward it is explained that she jumps in the well to fetch back what fell at the bottom.

In the original version, there is no mention of anything between the moment the girl falls down the well and when she wakes up - later editions precise explicitely that she lost consciousness as she fell, to highlight how the transition went from one world to the next.

In later edition, the brothers Grimm decided to add a mention of the girl's courage and braveness when she accepts Frau Holle's other, as a way to highlight how spooky and threatening the character must look, and how counter-intuitive the choice to serve her is.

The brothers also added several details here and there for practical effect: for example they added that she removes the bread with a baker's shovel (before we didn't know how she removed it), or that she doesn't just pick the apples but also puts them neatly into a pile.

As usual, but it is no surprise to those who know the Grimms: just like in "Hansel and Gretel" or "Snow White", here the wicked stepmother used to be the girl's biological mother, similar to Perrault's "Diamonds and Toads". But the Grimms, due to their worship of the mother figure and the idealization of the family decided to turn the bad mother (such a horrible idea!) into a wicked stepmother (an outsider entering in the family to break it apart, now that's acceptable). [The text notably points out M. Tatar's chapter within her "The hard facts of the Grimm fairytales" called "From Nags to Witches: Stepmothers and other Ogres"]. The change from mother to stepmother also helps the Grimms "rationalize" the mother's favorotism, due to the bad sister being of her own blood.

Originally the character of the bad sister was more akin to the one of "The three little men in the forest", and her main crime was to answer in a bad and dishonest way to the various entities she met in the otherworld. The Grimms only decided later to highlight her main "crime" as sloth, by adding the element of her pricking her fingers to make it believe she spun thread until she bled, as her sister did.

Finally, the Grimms, still out of their desire to present family as some sort of fundamental and essentiel value, changed the passage where the girl wishes to return home. In the original text, it is just said that she grows sad living at Frau Holle's house, and thus demands to leave. In later editions the Grimms explicitely added that the reason for her melancholy was because she longed to return home and to her family: as such, they again point out that, in the moral system they developed, the faithfulness to the family, even if they treat you badly, is a virtue and a sign of goodness. (Again, we all know how fucked up this can be and how fucked up this entire moral ended up becoming in other centuries, but again, that was the Grimm's big thing... They were ALL about family, these two.)

[bohemian-nights]

i’m so excited for part two, i’m skipping all the way to end to see masali like idc about anything else! and i have no doubt in my mind that she’s sophie, you can tell her and luke are a perfect chemistry match without even seeing them together like i need this fandom to be fr…. also i expect her role announcement and a season 4 benedict season announcement by 9AM EST from netflix!

Quite frankly it’s because of how disgustingly anti-Black these “leakers” have been that is keeping me from believing them. The ring leaders behind this have either outright said they don’t want Sophie to be Black or have weaponized homophobia and in some cases racism(which is ironic given these people are racist pieces of shit) to silence Black women when we call them out for them ignoring the obvious signs that they have cast a Black woman in the role of Sophie Beckett(and that woman is likely Masali) and how problematic it would be to cast a dark skinned Black woman in a masculine role.

And yes, I do have screenshots in case anybody thinks I’m fucking exaggerating:

Lets start with anyyyyb. She’s deleted her account, but this is the one with the Irish journalist “source”(lie because no journalist had access to those episodes on May 16th when she posted her “spoilers”). Despite that though she claimed that Michaela was John’s sister(lie cause John is a confirmed only child) and that she didn’t know who Masali is. Which was another lie because she wrote this under my mutals post almost a month before part 1 even aired:

I’m pretty sure that she was Cass the morons “source” because anyyyyb was the first of the new “leakers” who mentioned the sister thing and Cass self-admitted to not knowing if her source is credible or not:

This same woman dared to get pissy when she was called out for blatantly lying(sister thing) and spreading shit that hasn’t and will never be confirmed which caused Masali to be unnecessarily attacked:

Cass has independently been trying to push the Michaela “theory”(which is a name made up by the fandom) for a while now because her dumb ass thinks all Black people look alike:

Mind you the woman in the carriage is a crew member(Shanika Ocean) who doesn’t even have the same skin tone as Masali(she’s lighter), Masali also has never been seen on set, but Cass the moron thinks they are the same woman because they are both Black.

And if that’s not enough for you she also wrote this when people were calling her ignorant behind out to try and save face:

The other Tumblr account that claims to have a Netflix employee camped in their inbox willing to feed them info and risk losing their job in today’s economy to do so, is a racist and a colorist who has been against Sophie Beckett being Black since September at the least. She tried to play it cool, but the day part 1 came out she started spazzing the fuck out when people didn’t automatically believe her lies I mean leaks, and said this:

She like anyyyyb has been pushing for an Asian woman to play Sophie which is okay, but when you start saying there are “too many Black people” on a show produced by a Black woman, that she needs to stop casting Black people, and that is why Sophie “can’t be Black” you have lost your fucking mind.

Bitch doesn't think its okay for a Black woman to play Cinderella who gets her prince in the end, but she's a okay with a Black woman playing a role meant for a man where shell have to chase after a while woman and will not be afforded the fairytale happy ending every other woman. Sure Jan, you definitely care about Black women 👍🏽

Again, if that wasn't enough, she’s a fucking colorist because in her racist mind, Indians aren't Asian 🤷🏽‍♀️

Her ass has also tried to use a variation of all Black people look alike just like Cass the fucking Moron to connect Masali to Victor Ali ever since she learned who Masali was back in December/January.

(If she hasn’t deleted it yet like the goofy ass remedial bitch she is it should still be up on her little hate blog).

I could say way more about this one and leak her twitter and her other tumblr(which I know she’ll try to crawl back to once she’s fucking called out for what she is), and there are also the twitter people who I’m sure are feeding “intel” to Cass and both tumblr accounts meanwhile their alleged “source” hasn’t seen all the episodes, but I’ll it there for now.

All I’ll say is that these “rumors” are being fueled by butthurt anti-Black racists who have never wanted Masali to be Sophie and the fandom is so gung-ho about believing these cave dwellers because they too are racist pieces of shit.

Why they are watching a Shonda Rhimes production and begging her to stop casting Black people, her own people, in lead roles I will never know….

Because I’m not a fucking butterface racist ass bitch who has nothing better to do with my life than to try and tear another race down and dictate what they do just to feel better about my pathetic existence.

The fact of the matter is no one has posted shit other than anonymous messages or claiming they know someone or they know someone who knows someone. The fact that these people can’t post a still or audio recording yet they all supposedly have evidence and have seen shit…

[try-and-try-and-try-again]

15.07.24 - Young Darwin Scholarship Day 1

(Reposted from elsewhere)

Day 1 (or afternoon 1 as the morning was spent travelling) was fantastic. I’ll write about it picture by picture (apologies if this gets lengthy).

1-3. Lichens on a tree stump at the field centre. I think 2 is Cladonia pyxidata (Pixie Cup Lichen) and 3 is Cladonia coniocraea (Common Powderhorn). I couldn’t find anything like the first photo in my field guide or online. I wonder if it is a variation of Cladonia pyxidata but I’m not sure (if anyone knows please do tell me). Whatever it is it is beautiful. This was my first time seeing any of these species. It was very exciting!

3-4. 3 is the footprint of a Wood Mouse (Apodemus sylvaticus) distinguished by its round pads and 4 is the footprint of a Hazel Dormouse (Muscardinus avellanarius) distinguished by its triangular pads which indicate its arboreal lifestyle. These are from footprint tunnels through which animals move through and leave footprints in charcoal based ink.

5. A snapshot of my notes on the mammal trapping lesson. It was a lot to take in but fascinating. I learnt lots of interesting things today, particularly about shrews. Shrews are extremely aggressive largely due to their territorial nature and their challenging lifestyle - they have to eat their entire body weight in food each day to survive. If they come across each other they tend to have a stand off - a fight with their teeth which must look a sight with their highly mobile snouts. Their teeth are actually stained with red from iron compounds which is thought to assist with appearing threatening. As shrews age and their teeth wear down they lose their red colouration so younger fitter shrews will appear more dangerous to their older counterparts. The chittering noises from their stand offs can apparently be easily heard by passers by. Like many small mammals they have very short lifespans of around one year so they have very quick and frantic lives. There are many species of shrews, one of which is the Greater White-toothed Shrew which was discovered in the UK by falling victim to someone’s domestic cat and having their bodies recovered. I suppose cats have a role in wildlife research which makes me feel better about liking them in spite of them killing wildlife!

We also learnt some interesting things about hazel nuts and what they can tell us about which mammals ate them. I can elaborate if anyone wants me to but I don’t want this post to get too long.

7. A Longworth Live Trap. We set some up and set them up in the hedgerows round the perimeter of a field. In the morning we will find out if we caught anything.

8. Some aesthetically pleasing banded snails. I saw many snails today.

9. Me on the pebbly beach in the evening. It was so peaceful here. On the way back we stood on the bridge to look for otters but we didn’t see any tonight.

10. Some beautiful and varied shells I found on the beach. (It took me all week to find out what they were and differentiate them from similar looking species. I think they’re Giant Topshells (Gibbula magus).

When I got back to the field centre I was shocked to be met by bats flying around my head (probably some kind of pipistrelle). I thought echolocation was above the range of human hearing so I doubt it was that but I could hear their piercing calls and had tingling sensations in my ears. It was incredible…

[liskantope]

I think part of the reason I tend to get so argumentative nowadays about "what your side proposes kills people" -type political talking points is that it seems that this is being used more and more frequently as a rhetorical bludgeon, mainly (though not entirely) from the Left. There's a lot of shutting down of arguments based on "but HUMAN LIVES", and it's begun to feel to me like a disturbing trend. For instance, a good bit of the rhetoric in favor of shutting down schools in 2020-2021 seemed to center on "here, look at my computation that the expected value of children's lives lost if we don't shut down schools is greater than zero; anyone who disagrees with us doesn't VALUE HUMAN LIVES", with the effect that a lot of us (including to some extent me) were blinded for a long time to the absolutely devastating effect such extensive school shutdowns (in some geographic areas) had on children and their whole families, an effect that is still scarring them today. I'm not saying anything about whether or how far those school shutdown policies went wrong, just that they had very substantial harmful effects that don't vanish relative to the VALUE OF HUMAN LIVES.

Then there's the now-everyday claim that the anti-trans culture warriors "ARE KILLING US [TRANS PEOPLE]", which is true under a particular interpretation of "killing" and tragically true to an extent pretty well beyond some vanishingly rare extreme cases but is also transparently being used to drown out most other aspects of the debates around trans issues. Much more disturbing still is the accusation I now semi-regularly see casually flung that conservatives "actively want us [trans or LGBT+ people in general] dead" (I think I've occasionally seen left-wing variations on this that aren't even about LGBT+ people). A couple of months ago I called it "stomach-turning" ("it" being both the content of the accusation itself and the fact that so many people in our cultural discourse have seen fit to use it; this of course was semi-willfully misinterpreted by someone as my saying that trans people turn my stomach), and I reiterate now that it's still completely turning my stomach. This example is different from others in some fundamental ways, some of which make me more sympathetic with why people feel driven to use it (and it's not being used to drown out completely unrelated issues, for instance, like the guns thing is), and the general rhetorical weapon of "the other side wants to kill us" deserves its own effortpost which I intend to write later this summer.

So anyway, yeah, I'm also getting a kind of short fuse around insinuations of "what they show kids in school won't kill them, but guns could, so that's the only issue involving schoolchildren that anyone should care about" that I now see daily.

Of course, invocations of "my cause is the one whose stakes directly involve life or death so it outranks everything else" isn't exclusive to the Left at all. The Right has been doing it for decades with abortion to shut down both the abortion debate and whatever unrelated debate they didn't want to have ("millions of babies are being MURDERED each year, while liberals obsess over [women's bodies] [or] [just about any totally unrelated issue which appears frivolous next to MURDER]"). I also vaguely remember something that sounded like this in the post-9/11 years ("we're the ones looking out for Americans who might be KILLED in the next terrorist attack, that has to be the only priority right now"). And there was that bizarre "death panels" accusation around 2010-2011 when Obamacare was being debated which I guess might also count.

Only loosely related, but I'm reminded of a moment in the very first vice presidential debate, between Bob Dole and Walter Mondale in 1976, where Dole invoked a computation of the number of deaths in wars the US engaged in under Democratic versus Republican presidents, and apparently he got a lot of blowback from how underhanded this rhetorical move came across.

[quotidian-oblivion]

✨Out of context lines shitpost Pt. 3✨

Part 1 | Part 2

Quo: Do you want to put the sparkles in the title like we did in- Nogolsta: Of course. We're not savages.

@mispeltnostalgia and Quo bring forth more shit.

Hello, y'all enjoy the chaos cause i know i do :) -Nogolsta

The batfam but as things we said in public and in class:

Tim: I cleaned my floor, I washed the dishes, I did my h.w, I was productive.

Jason: Damn. The motivation demon possessed you.

Tim: Yeah it did!

Jason: Meanwhile… meanwhile…

Tim: What did you do?

Jason: *softy* torture

Tim: I love that

*high five*

~

Dick: *Starts sinking in his chair sliding under the table*

Also Dick: *Struggles to get up. Almost dies*

~

Steph: look if it's wrong you can blame me. I’ll even give you a crochet hook to stab me

Jason: I’d rather kill you with words

Steph: So I'd get on OC and you would brutally murder them?

Jason: Well, I do have an OC called Steph. Well its Christopher but I can shorten it

Bruce: What are you talking about?

Jason: Murder.

Steph: Specifically mine.

~

Special extracts from Tim’s essay about funeral rites in Egypt:

(Please note these are some extracts from Nogolsta’s essay outline. We don’t question it.)

The brain getting removed via nose with a crochet hook and the rest of the brain goop getting washed out with 💉drugs💉.

The flank (above the hips and below the booby area) is then cut open to scoop out the entire abdomen.

The cavity is then washed with palm wine and then with a ✨spicy blend✨.

Then it's filled with nice smelling things: pure myrrh(dur), cassia (another variation of cinnamon) but no frankincense (they don’t want the dead waking up now do they? Or else it’s gonna cause another Jason Todd). Then they sew the body up.

Body is chucked in natron (godly salt) for 70 days. No longer, no shorter (just like Dick) (Or Damian).

After this, the body is washed and wrapped in linen for that mummy look we all know and love.

Middle class funerals got less care (shockingly).

The body is injected with cedar oil through the butthole and is then plugged up like the hair in the sink.

(Note: Bruce got a call from the teacher about Tim being submitted to counseling.)

~

Dick: *walking backwards* I will make you hydrate

Tim: No you won’t 

Dick: you don’t have a choi- *walks into bookshelf and knocks books off*

~

Babs: and we could just sit and read fanfiction. I’m open to any Fandom as long as no romance or smut. I’m not comfortable with that. But I'm open to anything else. Especially ✨torture✨

~

Damian: Did you burn the paper I told you to burn?

Steph: Yeah!

Damian: Do you still have the ashes?

Steph: What? No, I burnt it in the fireplace, I’m not scooping it out.

Damian: *sigh* a pity. I was hoping to put it in a jar and look at it every day, reminding me of my dreams.

~

Wally: Oh no! We haven't been unpredictable enough today! Quick! Say something shitty!

Dick: I didn't bring a sandwich because we ran out of bread at home so Alfred made me a salad but I don't want a salad, I want a ham, cheese and tomato toastie. I mean, I love a salad, but I want a toastie *starts sobbing*

Wally:

Wally: I have regrets.

~

Jason: JANDBHWISHEVWBAKKXNFBFJEJDHRUWIQPD DNDBDHUS RBSKWDIHRVE SNAOSUEB

Bruce: *crying* Please- I will get down on my knees. Please stop.

Jason: NNJsjeuewjjJQJS EBSIWOSUEHEHBWBD RJE sndjjdidiwiwje

Jason: You have to say the ones not in all-caps quieter.

Jason: jwjduruwhsbdjriwi aanwjeiisjd NSNWOWORIRBEBSJA

~

Jason:*whispers* i have a torture idea

Dick: *facepalms in disappointment*

~

Dick: Our father has become a pigeon!

Jason: What?

Dick: *swivels phone to show a snap from Tim of Bruce with a pigeon filter on*

~

4 yo Damian: *grabs onto someone's leg in a crowd*

Jason: "raises the foot holding Damian with disgust* what the fuck are you?

4 yo Damian: you're not my father

Jason: I sure hope not. I haven't got any fuckers like you running around.

4 yo Damian: If you were my dad, I’d be sad.

Jason: Let’s find your dad you little shit.

Note: Nogolsta as a child was precious and savage at the same time 

Part 4