#anything else would be pointless
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guys don't be afraid, THIS alois plushie is going to be nice and safe (because I already ripped out his stuffing and replaced it with a dog toy squeaker and I consider him properly altered)
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from this thing on twt
#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#zarla s#sunny's art#jthm#shitpost#johnny c#didn't like this one that much so i didn't even post it on twt lolz#i was like " hmmm who should be the big-eyed one#at first i thought nny would be the one asking but i recently read this sidefic where edgar is trying to make things#less awkward by filling the silence with questions#so i was like lol imagine edgar just asking nervously#brusk also told me the same thing and mmmyes#i wanted to wait to do another sketchdump so i could post this one but i didn't want to wait till the trend was ove#also it's not like have anything else to post . i just have some stupid crossover i did of vargas and code lyoko#really poorly made sketches too so i don't think i'll post them they're also in spanish#the only one in english is this one of jeremie taking edgar to the factory#and edgar's like “ a supercomputer ? while jeremie's thinking something like ” i need to launch a return to the past#why would edgar even know about the supercomputer in the first place though#idk all of those doodles were so pointless but fun to do#i have those and some drawings of edgar bleeding to death but i'm NOT posting those#lol i drew nny's boots he looks so silly#i'm currently working on the askblog ( just setting answers together so i can work on them later#idk if i'm happy or if this is just a manic episode but I FEEL GREAT bye#won't schedule this one like the others bc this is just a silly thing
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Hot take of the day is that I think sanderson not letting adolin murdering sadeas have any real consequences killed like 95% of interesting debate on the morality of it
#it serves some narrative point on some character arcs#but it could have been so much more interesting than sanderson made it#like right now it’s just kinda pointless#to talk about#nobody cares about sadeas so it’s not emotional#and the closest we can get to a philosophical debate is adolin and dalinar being kinda awkward about it#which again would have been interesting if anything actually came out of it#but it didn’t#now it’s just a question of whether you should be allowed to take the law into your own hands like that#which I think could be very interesting if we took a look at the power position adolin holds#as highprince and heir etc.#should he be allowed to make that type of decisions#sadeas was an asshole but how does this play into how he solves other conflicts#if not for his dad and cousin being the ones in charge would someone else be treated differently#this type of thing was exactly why people didn’t want to work with the alethi to begin with#what are the political implications#blah blah#even if saying ‘yeah it was right it was necessary and sadeas sucked’#it would have been more interesting if there was anything to compare it to rather than just#‘well now we don’t have to deal with sadeas anymore that’s convenient’
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almost forgot about this. made as soon as i finished reading day 48 and booted down my laptop . good god. not quite sure what happened with this. it was something to the effect of 'oh. god he really loved didn't he.' in full force AGAIN. the parts of banging on the door, doors in general, just carmen as a whole other thing, the yelling, the want to die to sink to be forgotten. yeah. that was a trip. carmen... i know you meant well with your words but he took it LITERALLY......
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#ayin lobcorp#I WAS. SO UPSET WHEN I WAS MAKING THIS is so sketchy and a mess but i wasnt able to clean it up because of just how upset i was#actual physical emotional pain in my body. couldnt. croid. LMAOO yeah#god just thinking back on it again..#he was the one to find her. her in the water. in the bath. in her own blood (?)#banged and yelled and called out her name knowing it was pointless#not wanting to open that door because he knew what was on the other side#yet yanking like a madman on the handle to try and force it open#calling out her name and the only audible response being the running water#desperation fear hurt hurt open the door god open the door please have it shut i dont want to see whats on the other side#and it opened. it opened. her eyes wont open again though. they wont#he was alone when doing this to righr??? right???? just him at a door probably forcing himself against it until his body aches until the#door opens. would his knuckles have burned? would his arms have ached? his throat started to feel as if it were falling apart?#for a man who was one to be stated of few words#to now yell at the door wanting so desperately for it to open yet stay forever shut to be blind to the result#it mustve. it mustve burned.#how long was it? how long did it feel like it was?#anyways yeah. uhm. haha..#I WANT TO MAKE A WHOLE POST JUST BEING A not quite analysis i dont think anything like this could be called analysis ON ALL THE As#aughhhhfhh i fell in love with him sorry. i really really like him. and. everyone else too. man i just love lobcorp
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pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:
the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon
to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)
the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon
pretty much everything about that gible
blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)
boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen
pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character
#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit#the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league#but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle#i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/#that battling didnt even come up once#ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one#but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me#and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just#had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we#but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc#where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass#she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask#the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy#but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own#have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent#like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward#rewarding#imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show#as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all#was kind of a shitty move#like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th#which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself#by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!!#like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there#so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall#echoed voice
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here's some links of places you can find me at!
letterboxd / last.fm / musicboard / tidal / storygraph
#🩵#i'm pinning this welcome to my blog#i can't think of anything else but you can ask for my instagram if we've at least like talked#and i would add my mdl butttt i've barely been watching any drama (or any tv show for the matter) so it feels pointless at the moment#pinned#also important info: i'm white tme and goy
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get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it
it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is I should have put aerostatics not airplanes...
#I don't know how the hell to draw kim#PLEASE gib me feedback#pretend the dialogue is better this is all I can do lol. but you get the gist of it#aaa give me constructive criticism. the other post about kim secretly being a loser made me think about what his apartment would look like#and this popped in my head I had to draw it#is this in character?#there's no eyebrow battle because in my head this happens some time in the future where kim opens up a little more easily#at this point he trust him with his secrets more (but not completely. harry's not touching the blue box today)#but it's a mixture of ''maybe if I tell x he will stop asking for more'' and real trust#but like do you see that happen#it's a secret because he doesn't want other people to learn that insisting can work#like I said in the tags of the other post I think he never lets anyone in to the point of avoiding calling the plumber even if the sink#has been broken for months#addition: fuck I should have putted more machines in there. I couldn't think of anything else other than radio controlled airplane#and a sewing machine. he must have more stuff like the camera.#he'd have some dangerous thing to warm the room#and nerd stuff. I'm not sure if he'd display it or keep it boxed somewhere#disco elysium#that's a convertible couch-bed if you can't tell. half covered with the Pile#pointless microblogging#it's so hard to draw them right they look different in every official thing#believe me I have tried#idk how to put more of the skills here :/#I have achieved peak kimharry brainrot I can't go back
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#rrrrrrgfhfhfhfhf worked myself up into the Art Block Brain Funk again =__=#i feel like... i don't know if i know how to explain the feeling I'm dealing with#like when I'm doing other things the idea of drawing or writing seems appealing#but as soon as i have the opportunity to sit down and maybe start/work on something...#i just feel like... what's the point :|#i don't feel like i have anything to say anymore. I don't feel like i make art that means anything#i know on my last sketch i said i was trying to reacclimate to making ''pointless art'' but. why would i want to#why spend the time and mental effort if it doesn't make me feel anything. it's not going to make anyone else feel anything#and i feel like I'm treading dangerously close to ''well i don't want to make art if it doesn't get lots of views :(((''#but that's not really it. or not entirely at least.... idk#i don't know how else to characterize it except everything in my head feels shallow.#like why would i expect this (whatever it is) to warrant or deserve anyone else's attention. why would i deserve that#what do i really think i can add to the conversation
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#I’m just done with trying to deal with people.#like what is the actual point of trying to learn how to communicate better#when every time I try to express that something is Wrong#it gets turned around on me and I spend the next however long groveling and apologizing#life lesson learned: I am somehow uniquely selfish and anything I do to try to express myself hurts people#and no matter what anyone else has done they’re guaranteed to have something I did worse on hand#or will have some way to turn it around so I need to make them feel better#I’m just done.#like what is the actual point of socializing and communicating and any of that shit.#if I am only ever allowed to express positive emotions#and I know like three people are gonna see this and immediately accuse me of not communicating that I’m upset with them#like what do you want me to do.#what would be the point of saying anything.#does it make other people feel better to argue?#idk maybe it works if you’re always the person who is ‘right’#but it sucks ass if you’re always the person that is ‘wrong’#(argument/discussion of emotions/whatever the fuck you want to call it)#I’m done. I’m just too tired for this shit.#I grew up with this shit coming from my mother I know it’s pointless to even try#I hoped it wouldn’t happen with my friends but fuck me I guess
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Being condescending to poor & disabled people who have less than you is definitely a good way to get donations, I'm sure that's really working out for the people you are trying to help. What's the exchange rate exactly for superiority points
#txt#yes i already donated what i could this month#no i dont have a social network to persuade#no i cant just rob my parents.#no i dont have a regular income i dont even have health insurance#there is a 99% chance that you have more money than i do because the amount of money i have is 0#so why are you blaming disabled people on tumblr for genocide instead of donating everything YOU have#why are you blaming everyone else when we are all equally horrified#youre not fucking helping#sorry my sarcasm is off the charts#but every time i see this crap i find it insidious#if reblogging when we dont have anything isnt enough i dont know what you want me to do#getting shitty with randos on tumblr is not the answer to a genocide perpetuated by the US government in a land grab attempt#like...WHAT are you talking about#anyway im going to keep reblogging fundraisers even when i dont have money#because i know it DOES sometimes reach someone who does#because sometimes that person has already been me.#yall are just making this shit feel pointless#I would also rather donate only to people who have direct connections to real palestinians on tumblr so that they can be easily verified#otherwise I would rather donate to a real charity organization like PCRF that regularly sends me updates on successful evacuations#than some random post or inbox message on an unpopular blogging website.#of the gofundmes i have donated to#i have not recieved ANY such update and still dont even know if my money went to a legitimate fundraiser.
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tumblr centrist liberals stop acting like voting is the most influential and important political activity you can participate in challenge
#me donating to mutual aid posts on tumblr and donating esims to people in gaza has done worlds more influence than any vote i ever did#people who risk their lives in protests do more than voting#i firmly believe that#this isnt a Voting is Pointless post this is Voting is the Barest Minimum#voting is easy. when there’s no outside barriers its so fucking easy.#you fill in a card and call it a day. its easy to feel like you made a difference when all you did is fill in some dots.#yall barely even follow up on who you vote for or even Care if the people you vote for fail you#its the perfect thing for weak liberals to attach to#treat it like the be all end all with activism and you have the easiest get out of real political action card#no need to get your hands dirty if you did all you needed to#as someone who DOES vote. voting is the easiest political thing i engage with. everything else is a risk. or at least a sacrifice.#voting is barely anything to me. i dont feel like i do Anything with it. but donating. making political art. THATS something. thats REAL.#i would go to big protests if i lived somewhere with them#like i understand. wanting voting to be enough. im a heavily depressed bitch who feels like they cant engage with anything big or important#i know tumblr is full of those types. yall dont want to do anything. yall dont want to be uncomfortable or upset or anything negative.#personal comfort above all else. thats what tumblr is. thats what centrist liberals are. there’s no real desire to break out-#of the comfort zone or status quo respectively. yall are scared to get Involved. and i am too. but with how current events are going…#i can see that i don’t want to be that anymore. i know i need to be more than that. its hard and risky but i Need to.#and so do yall. yall NEED to engage with activism outside of voting. or you’re doing nothing.#txt
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does anyone else feel like just a character 🗣️🗣️
#like not a real person and existing only to further or flesh out someone elses narrative 💯‼️#npc type experience#i know at a logical level that i exist and have thoughts because why else would i do half the stuff i do!! why else would i keep fighting#-for a name for myself!!#i had more tags but i realized halfway thru that they were all kinda pointless and i figured it out im not upset over it anymore#(wasnt upset in the first place)#(just a little dissociated)#but i keep up for the sake of internet journaling and wanting other people to be like me too!! im not alone#vent#so like#im definitely a real person#i act like a character but... isnt a mask just as real as anything else#it doesnt matter to me#and thats peace of mind#therapee
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this is so far a very good critique of skyblock and i totally agree. unfortunately, i am mentally ill about this server and will continue to ignore the problems it has because i am having fun the way i play
#god i agree tho im grinding fishing level right now and i think that fits this video 100%#fishing doesnt DO anything else. fishing levels up your ability to fish and that is IT#leveling it up is. pointless!! it doesnt help me anywhere else in the game#so when im done fishing. why fish any more??? im Done. there wont be any reason to fish#and on one hand i like this system because it lets me just do what i like without doing the things i dont like#on the other hand that means sometimes i have to do the part of the game that i really dont like if i want to feel more complete#i would gladly mine all day but that cant help me with my fishing and foraging levels. but fishing is completely worthless#IT DOESNT EVEN GRANT SCC........#foraging at least grants strength so you could argue it's useful. but it sucks so it doesnt matter if it's useful.................#chat#sb
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alright I have to say it--s3e3 of Miss Scarlet and the Duke was one of my favourite episodes so far. bringing in another character to play off Eliza and fill the position William would usually have in the narrative was really fun, because instead of once again sticking us in the endless cycle of their snark and tension, we actually got to see Eliza learning more about a new person and reacting accordingly. and also, I find Mr. Nash a genuinely fun character to watch, and I love the development of his... slightly-antagonistic-yet-hopeful semi-partnership semi-competition with Eliza?? I'm intrigued by his backstory and motivations now, too, and how they tie into why he's so captivated by Eliza. he sees something of a mirror in her, I think, but at the same time, she pushes him towards growth--both out of competition, to be better than her, and out of motivation, because she expects him to be better than he is and that makes him want to change.
anyway! I expected to be a bit disappointed at the absence of the Duke, but I actually enjoyed this chance for an entirely different dynamic. and I think a lot more character development for everyone can happen with those two separated, too. especially at this specific point in the series. (if I'm being fully honest, part of me wishes there would be more episodes with them separated, so they can have a chance to truly grow on their own. I think that would have a lot more benefit for them as individuals and on their relationship together than constantly being around one another and doing the equivalent of raking their nails across each other's freshly-scabbed-over wounds every. single. day. does)
#gurt says stuff#miss scarlet and the duke#I texted Lu whilst watching this episode and said 'mr. nash likes eliza so much. but not in the normal way.#he wants to study her like a little bug. and he's so loud about it. and I actually love it.' X'D#he does tho!! he's so unashamedly impressed by her!! she's so socially-improper and she messes up his attempts to flirt with random women#and she calls him out on his lying and gives him a hard time for using the cane when he doesn't need it to make people feel bad for him#and his eyes crinkle up around the corners and he's just like 'ah. miss scarlet. I would desperately love to employ you.'#also she bosses him around and he just goes 'ok' and does it#instead of getting into completely pointless and futile arguments about her ego or his need to show leadership or anything else stupid#no she just tells him to do stuff and!! he does it!!#he's not a simp but he's not needlessly absorbed in his own masculinity either#and it's a very good thing to see#anyway. perhaps the little toad mr. nash is growing on me. perhaps I actually really want to see him and eliza work together more.
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and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.
#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now.#but. the thing that really affects me more than anything at this point#is the stupid fucking rules I have to follow because my brain makes them up and I don't have a choice#and the. well everything else that's probably all related to that.#but i don't wanna go there and be like hi I think i might have ocd#because I've been so ashamed of all of this stuff for 20+ years that the thought of talking about it with a person I have to look at and wh#will ask questions about it and then possibly say nope your brain's just really fucked up.#that thought is. so horrifying idk I don't think I could do that#but I struggle with it so much every day that. idk maybe I need to do it anyway? I didn't think I could talk about the social anxiety stuff#either and I did that for years in the end. and it helped a bit.#but idk maybe it's just. pointless? I don't know how to be any other way. I've never not lived like this? I don't remember ever not having#to follow these rules and feeling like I'm disgusting for having bad thoughts and having stupid routines that I have to follow because if I#don't a Bad Thing will happen. but that part got better so maybe it's not that serious anyway and I've just been imagining all of it#because my brain is bad and all of that.#maybe it's fine that I can't touch dirty things and that if I don't tell my husband to drive safe I have to think about him crashing the ca#and it being my fault all day and almost breaking several door handles because I have to check three times if the door is really locked and#it's never enough so it's usually 3x3 times or more. and just.#just. everything I like has to be good and pure and perfect and if it's not and I can't stop myself from liking it anyway I feel disgusting#and guilty and like I'm personally responsible for every bad thing in the world because I just can't be right.#and if I could the bad things would stop#I don't think. that's how people are supposed to think? right? I feel like if everyone spent most of their time thinking about this and#doing everything to make sure they follow these rules then. idk nothing would ever get done? it's just so hard?#but no it's probably just that I'm so bad at handling it and everything is always hard for everyone and no one complains because they're#better at being human.#idk man all I know is this is fucking exhausting and I can't do this for. however many years I'll be alive for. it's been long enough#I'm tired of it#and maybe I shouldn't be on here. maybe it's time to step away again for a while. so much of this messes with my head. I can't handle the#guilt I feel from every stupid post that I saw. oh that's something people argue about? great that's been added to the list of things that#have to feel bad about now.#doesn't matter how much I disagree on a rational level. I don't get to decide. if I know it exists it will bother me. and I can't do it
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what is it with tga and not allowing sonic fans to have a good time at their show for more than one year in a row. if this pattern continues maybe there will be a big sonic 3 related announcement at the 2023 or 2024 game awards
#in 2019 they said sonic may make an appearance but nothing happened there#in 2020. idk i didnt watch it in 2020 i dont think#in 2021 they showed a trailer for sonic 2 AND a trailer for sonic frontiers#in 2022 they nominated sonic frontiers for nothing but players voice#and the whole thing was really unfair for reasons i already complained about#OH and it was also said a sonic prime clip would be shown but i dont think it was?? probably the same one that was posted earlier though#do you guys just hate sonic fans do you just want us to suffer#i assumed that part of the reason it didnt get nominated for anything was beacuse of the later release date#but no i was just informed that god of war ragnarok came out in that exact same week. and got nominated for a shitton of stuff#what do you people have against sonic#Whatever. not a big deal anyway#award shows are pointless they just reflect the opinions of the judges and nobody else
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