#(just a little dissociated)
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i know he ate a cheese
#my art#pokemon#maushold#pokemon scarvi#scarvi#i named my maushold suds n duds. in my mind the little baby mausholds are actually just made of cloth and the big mausholds knitted them#they're not evil but they go into a dissociative state and commit atrocities#like eating a whole choese#maushold the best pokemon ever made. i think it can digging in the ground for tubers#personally
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a mood or somethin
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt leonardo#rise leonardo#couldnt decide if he should cry or not so have both version#inspired by when i have a little bit too much time to think and have to think about situations </3#keep trying to draw and anything past the sketch phase drains my energy immediatly </3#dissociation#cw dissociation#tw dissociation#just to be safe
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Han Solo, questioning current life decisions, 3 ABY
#just a fun little study of Han Solo dissociating on hoth lol#art#artists on tumblr#fanart#star wars#star wars fanart#digital art#illustration#star wars original trilogy#star wars empire strikes back#empire strikes back#han solo#harrison ford
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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(text from this post, fic is little kid with a big death wish by @remedyturtles)
i'm genuinely not sure where to start here - ig first of all this fic is absolutely incredible and if you somehow haven't read it yet you absolutely should!
okay. man. rem, this fic means so so much to me and i'm so glad i got to be here for it. i think this is one of those fics that'll stick with me years down the line even if one day i'm not into tmnt anymore, one i'll come back to over and over again
your writing has touched so so many people myself very much included, and i just. want to thank you so much for writing this fic and thank you for sharing it. you're an amazing writer and an amazing person and i'm lucky to know you. i can't wait to see what you do next
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#little kid with a big death wish#my art#forgor all my tags its ok ill come back later <3 anyway#god theres legit so so so much more i wanted to say but i cant get. the words right augh#i kinda tried to put some of it in the comic though so. yeah. the emotions anyway#idk idk i just have a Lot of feelings abt this fic and how real it feels and just . man. it hits so so hard /pos#just... the fact that dw leo has been through everything he has and is capable of recovery and living. even if he doesnt want to live just#yet. hes getting there. makes me feel like i can too as cheesy as that sounds lajfd;lajlfkl#anyway ive rambled enough i spent ten (10) full days on this comic i am setting it loose into the world. be free#suicide attempt cw#dissociation cw#<- just to be safe. ask to tag if theres anything else lafj;dljsafkl
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I've only recently started having my own thoughts about Emanator!Sampo and I think my favorite version of this is that he is technically an Emanator, it's just that he doesn't talk about it because Aha is a dick who only blesses people that don't want it and Sampo hates it here dkjxkdkdck
Aha blessed the Mourning Actors! A whole faction of people who have specifically made it their life's mission to resist Elation! THEY made a literal worm THEIR Emanator just to see if it would be accepted into the Genius Society! And when it wasn't, Aha just as easily killed it and tossed it aside! So I feel like there is a good possibility that Aha looked down at Sampo, this little oddball who doesn't seem to even like Epsilon or a lot of the Masked Fools and was like.
Hey.
You know what would be really really funny.
And I feel like being an Emanator wouldn't even be a plus for Sampo, because of how he operates. Sampo excels at blending in; he managed to smuggle himself onto a planet
that had been isolated for 700 years,
with only one (1) single city on it,
and going even further, he snuck himself into the Underground,
where the population is even more sparse,
and STILL. Not a single accusation of him being an alien! Not even after the Astral Express lands and proves that interstellar space travel is possible! Sampo is so thoroughly ingrained into Belobog that yeah, some people admit they don't know his origins, but none of it ever comes with the question of whether he actually is a Belobog native or not. Sampo knows exactly how to blend himself into his surroundings in the most subtle way possible. And being an Emanator, something far more powerful than any normal human or Pathstrider could ever hope to be, would only throw in a massive extra variable for him. Sampo would have to be so so careful to keep a lid on his Emanator traits, to keep up the appearance of being totally normal and average at all times. It doesn't help him at all.
And this part is pure indulgence, but I love taking Aha's closeness with mortals, and THEIR tendency to take human form, and twisting it into a case of THEM using Sampo as a vessel.
I want Aha to look at Sampo the same way all of us look at Sampo. A chew toy. A plaything. Something to shove through the meat grinder. Aha thinks Sampo is hilarious and a funny, silly little guy, and THEY want to put him in Situations just to see what he does. Sampo is not a fan.
This though, this is what makes Sampo so wildly entertaining as a vessel. Because Aha knows that Sampo does not want to be a vessel, does not even want to be an Emanator, and THEY find it SO much fun to watch the mental gymnastics he has to pull to convince himself he's ok with it, this is fine actually, because he's not exactly about to tell off a literal god. He doesn't feel like getting a smiting today, please and thank you.
Because squeezing yourself into a human vessel is so different than merely adopting a human disguise, there's already a human soul in there, it's kind of a tight fit. If Sampo doesn't make room, doesn't all but dissociate right out of his own body, it could cause. Consequences.
And so, Aha always gives a warning, just to watch him squirm.
It begins with the sound of bells.
Just little ones, at first. Small, clinking little sounds that could even be considered nice. Something almost gentle, like a wind chime in a pleasant breeze on a warm day. This is the signal for the countdown.
Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Makes himself as small as possible within his own body.
The bells rise and multiply, tinkling wind chimes give way to sleigh bells, to shopkeepers bells, the sound of something inevitable approaching, something entering.
Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Dilutes himself, weaker and weaker concentrations.
The bells rise and rise, multiply and multiply, celebration and tragedy resonating in the sound of church bells, ringing bright and loud, the sounds of weddings and funerals both the same.
Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Becomes like smoke, like vapor. Hollows himself out.
Empty, empty, empty until he echoes, like a bell, like something with the sole purpose of being shaken and rattled around, a thing to be struck, the sounds jarring and punched out and gasping and piercing the air, the lung, the eardrum.
Sampo breathes in.
Beaten he rings, bashed in he sings.
Aha breathes out.
#sampo koski#hsr sampo#hsr aha#emanator!sampo#emanator sampo#hsr#honkai star rail#my fics#pardon me I've been listening to a lot of kara kara kara by kikuo lately dkxjkskdmd#I really like Emanator Sampo theories and even think canon is pointing that way- assuming he isn't just Aha in disguise#but I also like Sampo being a pathetic little guy. a squeaky toy. just a little dude.#and thus. this skzjnskdkd#an Emanator but pathetic about it haha#stringing Sampo up like a pi��ata so I can beat him with the possession angst stick ☆#he just has a lot of personality. Sampo is very bright and vibrant and distinctive-#-and always perfectly in control of himself to put on the best show.#so I think it's most jarring to see him dissociate- to see him go completely still and quiet just trying to breathe and settle#breate and settle breathe and settle breathe and settle#until he looks distant and hazy and goes unresponsive. until he feels like he is barely within his own body.#aha thinks this is funny#sampo tells himself he does too because it's easier that way#(shaking hands with Aha and Sparkle as I too like to mess with Sampo and put him in situations snkzjsjdkd)
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Hey gamers, anyone wanna tell me what in the goddamn
💖Fuck💖
Is going on in the tf Kre-O comics? Because uhhh
That's just. Optimus trying to cover his tits. And Knockout dressing Megatron up in lingerie. While Breakdown appears to be cheering him on.
Like I know the Japanese side of transformers canon tends to somehow be even gayer and weirder than it is in the states but that is a CANON, TAKARA-SANCTIONED image of megatron in lingerie.
Like if you told me this was from the robofucker girlies I wouldn't bat an eye but you're telling me this was PLUBLISHED??
#maccadam#transformers#knockout#breakdown#megatron#optimus prime#wheeljack#g1#tfp#KNOCKOUT GIRLIES COME GET UR JUICE#im actually dissociating a little like what timeline are we in#Kre-O#honestly i kind of love seeing knockout and breakdown in a more g1 ish setting. low stakes goofy shit. they fit right in.#total fucking deceptigoons that are just here to be stupid and horny.
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i can’t believe this apparently needs to be said but y’all. cult jokes are not funny. things like calling yourself a cult leader, calling a friend group or a fandom a cult, joking about starting a cult, ARE NEVER FUNNY. jokes like these diminish the seriousness of cults and spit in the faces of actual survivors. the only time making cult-related jokes is okay is if you are a cult survivor joking about your own trauma.
sincerely, an exhausted cult survivor
#i didn’t survive a cult just for you to call your little friend group a cult#if you think it’s nbd you know nothing about cults#dissociative identity disorder#did system#osdd system#other specified dissociative disorder#osddid#ramcoa#ramcoa survivor#cult survivor
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Why do you think did Curly let Jimmy go before the crash? I've seen the theory Curly briefly thought about crashing too but didn't expect Jimmy to go through with it
I generally believe it was shock and a bit of denial.
It’s the sort of thing where Curly knew Jimmy enough to know he blows up at things but he never would’ve expected him to go through with something so crazy. He gives Jimmy way too much benefit. It’s just his nature and the dynamics he has with Jimmy. They have a stable relationship as friends but it’s stabilized by the unhealthy toxic aspects that keep him in it. He’s like this with Anya, taking the gun is something he really shouldn’t have kept off the record, so is Swansea’s feigned hostility toward Daisuke. He doesn’t want to get people in trouble and doesn’t want to believe anyone would cause trouble other than to themselves. He’s a very lenient man.
I think the words were hollow in his head. Said but not really meant like all the times Jimmy lashes out and says something cruel to him or others. He never means it, if he did why would he still be Curly’s friend? Curly’s head wasn’t in the right space in that moment, he just got through panicking with Anya and if the sound design is anything to go by, was panicked and preoccupied going to confront Jimmy. I mean, the flash of the warning signs before he runs back are identical to the dissociative episode of sort he has when going to talk to Jimmy to do his Psyc eval.
There is this sort of assumption in fanon that Curly was the idealic person for the job and simply failed. None of them were the idealic people to be there, it’s Curly’s entire concern with the ladder he chose. I see more interpretations of him being purposefully ignorant where I see him as just always looking the wrong way or not in a place where he can see it. There’s something different about seeing something than being told about it in the human mind. It may just be the psych student in me but Curly def has some sort of cognitive dissonance just like Jimmy but when it comes to his role as a Captain vs who he is.
They blur in his head to where if you ask him if he was acting as a Captain or a friend or himself to his crew he couldn’t answer. Not with confidence even if he did. There are many times we see that Curly himself is not in the right headspace to lead the Tulpar and that’s outside of anything with Jimmy. He’s spacey, he’s not sleeping, he’s deeply unhappy with himself and life. It’s why there’s believability he crashed the ship. Maybe the others saw it, or maybe Jimmy heard enough of it to spin it in a way that made Curly seem suicidally depressed.
So the tdlr is I think it wasn’t so much letting Jimmy go, more so not seeing the severity of what he was allowing to transpire. In his mind it’s just another one of Jimmy’s bluffs, cruel words, off words but just words. Jimmy rarely ever acts, why would he now? Maybe he’s never seen it because Jimmy hides those actions? Either way, he just never thought he’d really do it.
#like curly is also not mentally well like if I were to rank worst mental health before the crash#I’d go Jimmy then curly then Anya then Daisuke then Swansea#he clearly dissociates and goes on auto pilot often enough Anya is picking up on it#he never thinks about himself and is very easily talked down to by his crew I mean even Swansea is overly#snippy with him for the professional relationship they have and his closest confidant is fuckin Jimmy#mix this with the fact the last time they likely talked outside of work stuff was the party like I don’t think he was in a good headspace to#be making critical decisions in this situation like it’s not an excuse for not taking more action towards Jimmy but it’s a factor that is#often left out of the mix. cuz either Jimmy just wasn’t doing copilot stuff or he was in the cock pit being distant and cold and likely#setting off those sort of bells in Curly’s head where he should be placating him like he likely did back on earth but he can cause#jimmy’s not over it I mean I can only imagine those three missing days were very awkward and anxiety filled for all the crew members some#more than others but yeah it think it’s mostly him just not really absorbing anything until it all hits after Jimmy steers the ship like#he’s just a little fucked in the head like again not an excuse but it is another reason on top of pragmatism#ask#anon#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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mascot
#this isnt vent dw!!! i dont smoke either i was just kinda going for some sort of vibe#i know its usually played for laughs or like. dark humor whenever ppl draw mascots without their heads and u can see the actor#but i always found it fascinating and a little sobering. ever since i was a kid ive always been hyperaware of ppl in costumes#like. even if i tried to block it out id be thinking the whole time 'its not real. theres a person in that suit who gets paid to do this'#it used to be an uncomfortable nagging feeling but now its like. oh yeah theres someone with a whole life story doing this. idk#i think when i tell ppl im not conscious of my body its like. im not dysphoric or experience dissociation but. at the same time#it feels like my physical body doesnt fully outwardly represent me..?? like some sort of costume#i like to phrase it as being a giant hairless mecha and inside theres a very tiny puppy piloting the damn thing#and the other thing is. when i draw my sona i dont really see it as what i /wish/ i looked like or how i want people to see me#its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others#plus mascots arent allowed to talk and i dont really. engage with other ppl in public spaces that it kinda feels like ad lib#i share a lot abt my life but ironically im also a private person..... i guess it just gives me some sort of control over my identity#my art#myart#my oc#sona#mascot#furry#??? is this furry art????#twinkle#puppysona#edit: had to outline it bc i just realized it looks really weird on dark mode -_-
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does anyone know what i mean
#systemposting#comments are always appreciated#i'm a little lost on system stuff myself#beetle alter#there's more to it but i don't have the energy to extend the comic#does anyone ever have a system that just doesn't talk all the time so you forget you're part of one#or is there just something wrong with us#osdd system#osddid#system comic#osdd comic#dissociative#plural#comic
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the Sully kids' reaction to Jake saying Spider "knew everything" breaks my heart.
they knew him better than anyone else, better than their parents. they knew his love for Eywa, for Pandora, for The People, for the clan, for their family. they knew he would never tell the RDA anything... not willingly at least.
they knew they were leaving because Spider would be tortured for information, he'd be forced to reveal their home, their plans, their numbers, their weaknesses. their brother would be tortured and they were being forced to leave him behind.
they knew they were being forced to find a new home, without their brother, because their dad knew he would be tortured.
#I like to think. for the sake of my sanity. Jake knew Spider would be loyal to them. that he would only blab once broken by torture.#anything else would kill me. the level of anger would be lethal.#but regardless. I think the kids would also need to believe the same thing. they *need* to think their dad has faith in their brother.#but back to the reactions themselves. the heartbreak and confusion on Kiri and Tuk's face. the way Lo'ak looks dissociated.#we can barely even see his face. but even Neteyam looks surprised and painted. even if its kept under a calm guise#(I will never let anyone convince me 'tey didn't love Spi. James. give us more about them please. more than these little crumbs)#they were just little kids and he was their big brother#he was Lo'ak and Kiri's best friend#Tuk was his baby#I feel it in my bones that Spi and 'tey were brothers with a complicated history. I know 'tey was scared to lose him.#I don't have proof but I know James is cooking up something with them#they would never believe Spider would just give them up. but that opens up their minds to so many things to think about#they had to be so scared for him and angry he was being left behind#(especially since in the comics Kiri. Lo'ak. and Tuk risk their lives to save him when he was kidnapped by Nash)#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#kiri sully#lo'ak sully#tuk sully#tuktirey sully#neteyam sully#lo'ak#kiri#tuk#tuk tuk#tuktirey#neteyam
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doodled some isaac girls for fun. bonus heres this fucking thing
#the binding of isaac#tboi#tboi bethany#tboi lilith#isaac moriah#i love my dissociative little son. hes unfortunately just like me
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The Syd Poll
the topic of this poll is one that is frequently avoided in the pink floyd fandom, but inevitably one we all consider – our individual views on what we think caused syd's psychological struggles (and by extension, led to his departure from the band). I think that – at least in this neighborhood of tumblr – this is a conversation we are capable of having in a way that is civil, nuanced, and at least minimally disrespectful to syd.
So, to help facilitate this, here are some ground rules:
let's all assume we have a mutual understanding of the complexities of this. syd could never actually be reduced down to a poll, and all of our viewpoints are limited in various ways
the poll options just serve as just a conversation starter, and responses are not necessarily a statement of absolute beliefs
feel free to discuss as much or as little of your own perspective as you feel comfortable sharing.
in the case that debates break out, please try to assume good intent – and also demonstrate it (unless, for instance, someone is being blatantly insulting beyond a misunderstanding that needs correcting)
please do NOT vote if you are not actually a pink floyd fan with at least basic knowledge about what we're talking about here.
The options I've included below are not meant to be exhaustive, they are simply the "theories" that I have seen most commonly circulated. I have also decided not to include combinations. I'm fairly sure we'd all agree multiple factors were involved. Rather than make the poll too complicated, I ask you to instead select the one that you think is the "most" important to your viewpoint, and clarify further in your tags/comments as you wish.
so. here we go.
READ BEFORE VOTING ^^^^
(note of correction: "late-onset schizophrenia" should just be "schizophrenia". the typical timeline for onset of symptoms is late adolescence/early adulthood, so syd would've been well within that period at the time)
#pink floyd#syd barrett#//#I will sacrifice myself and go first with way too much detail. hopefully it will help other people feel more comfortable talking#I chose consensual use of psychedelics. mainly bc I am fairly certain that he suffered from severe hppd#it stands for 'hallucinogen persisting perception disorder' –speaking crudely its 'did too much acid and got stuck like that'#I do NOT expect this kind of oversharing from anyone else but the reason I think that is because -I- definitely have that#its comparatively mild but I notice a lot of the same kind of impacts.#I'm more prone to dissociation and overstimulation. it takes more mental energy to communicate. my perception plays a bit fast and loose.#(again. it's not -that- bad. and NO pity for me this was a completely predictable outcome that I DO think is a little funny) but digressing#I can clearly see how if those symptoms were significantly escalated it would be just like what was described by ppl who knew syd#I think its very unkind to refer to him as a “drug casualty”#but I'm fairly confident anyone who's done acid would say by about hour 8 of the trip “okay. yah. too much of this could do that to someone#in other words –although I'm pretty sure syd was also neurodivergent– I do think its at least possible that the lsd couldve been enough#I'm happy to talk more about any of this in asks/dms if anyone wants. genuinely very cool with discussing it#but anyway. that's my take – obviously based entirely on anecdotal evidence tho so take that with as many grains of salt as you wish
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Hey people, this post is a little different than my usual ones.
I kinda wanted to post something on the 4th/5th but time got away from me.
I have a lot of snippets and segments of ideas from stories in this au that I wrote up.
This is... Sort of the extended segment of my little "Fox and Anakin's first meeting" snippet.
There will probably be more to follow this but for now, I hope you enjoy this little chunk of story.
Autumn
••••••
"We put republic resources into your upkeep, and the bare minimum we expect in return is that you do the jobs that you were made for." The Senate guard fumed.
Anakin pushed himself back into the corner behind the trio of Clones who had all moved in front of him. The familiar mantra of 'I'm not here, there's nothing to see.' ran through his head even as he watched the exchange.
"The Chancellor has decided to cut a third of your funding until he believes that the guard has earned it back CC-1010." The man snapped.
"We need that funding to get supplies for the Men Sir." The clone said, and it almost seemed pleading even through the vocoder. And Anakin felt the surge of concern from the unfamiliar Clone Commander.
"We're already struggling to get enough supplies after the last cut."
The other Man only snorted derisively. But Anakin was more interested by the surprise blooming in the force from the troopers around him in response to the Commander’s words.
"Perhaps you should put in more work into being worth your upkeep then." He said shortly.
And that didn't seem fair. It seemed to Anakin like the Corries did plenty of work, honestly he thought that maybe the Senators and other guards should be a little more grateful to them.
"Also, you will gather together every useless Clone that failed to stop the attack and bring them to us for proper disciplinary action.” The guard commander sneered, expression so much like that of an especially smug Master that Anakin couldn't help but lean away.
"If it were up to me I'd have them all sent for reconditioning, but unfortunately it's not.". He seemed to be enjoying this interaction a little too much.
Anakin wasn't sure what reconditioning was, but the fear that had soaked the force around them at the words spoke for itself. Anakin wasn't sure what proper disciplinary action entailed either. But the overly pleased look on the other guards face and the fear in the air brought to mind images of Electro whips and beatings, water and food restrictions, abandoning people to the freezing nights or biting sandstorms for even minor provocations.
He quickly pushed those thoughts away, this was Coruscant, not the slave yards. Things worked differently here. It was fine. Even if the words felt suspiciously like a lie even in his own head.
"Don't Talk back to me, Clone." The man snarled, snapping Anakin out of his thoughts.
He must have missed part of the conversation but he came back in time to see the man grabbing hold of the front of the commander's armor. "You do what the republic tells you, you got that? we say send half the guard to the Lower levels, you send the guard." He leaned in closer, expression angry.
"We tell you to send your useless men back to Kamino to be Reconditioned, you send those men."
He reached in and ripped off the Clone commander's helmet. Anakin couldn't help but notice that the Clone Commander hadn't moved a muscle since the other man had grabbed his armor, he was frozen staring straight forward, short curly hair tumbling into blank eyes as the helmet came off and hit the ground with force.
"You do, as we say." The man snarled, leaning in again. "We could order you to execute your own soldiers and you'd have no choice but to obey."
He reached up and grabbed the silent man's face. "We own you, Every pound of duplicated flesh that comes from Kamino is ours, and we will do what we wish with it, do you understand?"
"Yes Sir."
In the back of his head Anakin had the feeling that he shouldn't be here, that he was seeing something that an outsider shouldn't see. But the thoughts were dulled by the Man's words echoing in his head.
'We own you.' He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to look at the picture that was slowly coming together in his head.
The guards almost never spoke unless addressed. They were entirely ignored unless someone needed them or took some kind of issue with them. The entire Senate seemed to treat the guard, the clones as lesser than them. He thought back to the interaction he and Padme had crashed, how the two aids had been talking about them. He'd thought that there was something wrong with how the guards were treated in the Senate, but did it go deeper than that.
'we own you.'
Slavery was illegal in the republic, they had rules against it, Qui-Gon had told him so.
Maybe the man meant something else, but Anakin was having trouble seeing what else 'we own you' could mean.
Anakin pressed himself further against the wall, he didn't hear whatever else the Man said over the screaming in his ears, he couldn't tell if it was his own thoughts or the force pressing in around him. He wanted to be wrong, he had to be, he couldn't. It couldn't.
"..Ad..? Are you ok..?" A hand brushed his shoulder and he started, looking up into the helmeted face of one of the Clones.
From further away he heard snippets of voices.
"Wait, what do you mean he heard everything?"
"Fox, he's just a kid, he's not going to do anything."
He tried to peer around 'Twelve-Sixteen' to see what was going on, he could still feel distressed in the air, but it had a desolate edge to it now.
'Twelve-Sixteen' Knelt down in front of him.
"Hey, it's ok Ad'ika. Don't worry about any of that ok?"
He was trying to sound cheery, but Anakin could feel the nerves underneath the false cheer. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead of agreement or a confirmation of understanding, the words that spilled out were the ones echoing around his head.
"..They own you..?"
The words came out far louder than he'd ment them, and suddenly all four clones were looking at him. The Commander, who had put his helmet back on, sighed Audibly.
"The Coruscant guard and Grand Army of the republic are both republic property." The man said he sounded tired, like he didn't want to have this conversation.
"But… they, they can't." Anakin stammered, pushing to his feet. "You're People."
The clone who'd been talking to the commander shook his head. "Maybe to you Ad'ika, but not to most Nat borns."
"They bought us off of the Kaminoans." 'Twelve-Sixteen' told him, shrugging. "If they hadn't brought us, we wouldn't exist."
That did not make Anakin feel better, in fact somehow that was worse.
"But… they're not - this isn't the outer rim." Anakin stammered. The one thing in the way of his discovery was the fact that Qui-gon had said that Slavery wasn't legal in the Republic, but… that had been ten years ago… had that changed?
The guard commander sighed, if Anakin focused he could feel the storm of emotions around him.
"No, it's not, Welcome to Coruscant." He said flatly.
"Now, you really shouldn't be here, go back to your Jedi."
The Commander turned and stormed off, but he didn't seem angry, just tired, so so Tired.
Anakin felt frozen, even as his mind was spinning with thoughts, unfamiliar pieces clipping together into a picture that was all too familiar even as the setting was the furthest thing from.
"Ad'ika…?"
"I.." Anakin stepped away, his hands balling into fists. "...I… They…"
The words weren't coming, but he could feel the worry and resigned acceptance suffusing the air around them.
When he eventually did find words, they weren't addressing the fact that his new friends weren't what he'd thought, maybe weren't even Free like he'd thought.
"...I… can you… I need to talk to Padme… do.. Do you know where I can find her…?"
#ani and the corries#ani and the corries au#anakin skywalker#padawan anakin#the courscant guard#child anakin skywalker#clone trooper oc's#commander fox#tw slavery#tw dissociation#just a little#fox is tired#Ani is accidentally bonding with troopers#and sees something he should not have seen#cue the main plot of this au#the fact that canon Anakin doesn't seem to ever really acknowledge what the clones are erks me#but a baby Anakin who only left tattooine a year ago...?#its only a matter of time before he puts together this rather nasty puzzel.#lots of implied trooper mistreatment in this one#clone wars
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Experiencing normal thoughts about normal characters, nothing to see here folks (<== i am desperately clinging onto Donald and his stupid twink boss for dear life)
We are very much Donald-centric in this house, there's a critical lack of content of him and this is just heartbreaking!!!! Comic!Donald really doesn't feel like the same character as animated Donald, so I'm kinda going to separate the two. I kinda like the nervous autistic cyborg dude vibes.
I like the kind of dynamic where they're like each other's fucked up emotional support animal
#Cecil breaks Donald out of brutal trauma-induced dissociation because DONALD WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU WE HAVE A SITUATION#and Donald would just be a calming presence while Cecil is about to fucking implode from the stress. he's just a little guy. standing there#none of them are okay though its just. fuck it we ball energy#Donald is never beating the boytoy allegations#Cecil is never beating the power-bottom allegations#invincible#invincible show#invincible fanart#donald ferguson#cecil stedman#.art#artists on tumblr#im rly sorry for unleashing my cringe onto this poor fandom
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