#anxiety you can sit this one out
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I was sitting outside feeling sick and this group of middle schoolers came out from behind me wishing me a good evening and all I could do is tell them individually āyou too, thank youā in the most awkward way š§āāļø what was thatttttt
#pix habla#I didnāt want to be rude#augh I wish I didnāt feel sick I feel kinda dumb š§āāļø Iām just trying so hard to keep food down and also the anxiety down#I know my face got red from being embarrassed too which made it worse š I just donāt know how to react to random people being nice#well idk if it was a prank or them being very polite but Iāll choose to believe the latter becauseā¦ why would it be a prank#anxiety you can sit this one out#this new generation is skibidi polite I guess š
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hey this isnāt aimed at anyone in particular but Iām saying it for the record here: if I tell you no, please stop messaging me about fundraisers and mutual aid.
I get enough messages that itās impossible for me to keep up without devoting at least half an hour each day, when Iām not even on tumblr that long most days. Me having a boundary about this isnāt a moral failing, itās a lifeboat for me on my own blog.
In my personal life Iām already advocating and donating literally as much as I can spare. This is not me not caring, itās just me not willing to interact with that on the one place I go online to not interact with irl news and world events for the most part.
I cannot be upset all the time. I cannot be upset everywhere. I cannot use all my emotional and mental energy fielding my own upset from ongoing events. My options are to hold boundaries about this or stop coming online at all.
Iām all for sharing information and signal boosting to reasonable extents, but the scale of it this year is so large and so enduring that it is literally not possible to for me to participate on every account I have. Iāve previously shared links to Gaza eSIM donations and a major hub of verified Go Fund Mes here and elsewhere online. We, the online humans, know how to look those things up ourselves by now. There are many, many people choosing to do advocacy work, and right now, I canāt be one of them.
If youāre extremely upset when I tell you I canāt share/donate right now about a Gaza family or personal fundraiser you ask me to share here, just unfollow and block me. Thatās what those buttons are for. Protect your own emotions and energy and get me off your feed instead of staying upset and continuing to engage with online people or content that upsets you.
Please donāt send repeated angry messages based on manufactured purity politics and moral outrage into my messages and inbox when I exercise the right to run my own blog.
#and on that note#I also think some people need to sit down and ask themselves#if their old end times anxieties and fears and preparations and word spreading#havenāt filtered straight into a new non religious end of society and end of modern world order anxiety that theyāre pushing on other peopl#even if it is the end times#you cannot change that by beating your own anxieties into other peopleās heads#people can care MORE when they are GIVEN ROOM TO BREATHE#first rule of sustainable activism is you canāt do it constantly and you canāt push it on people constantly#you have to pace it and you have have have have HAVE to play long games#short term activism burns you out and if it leads to full despair from burnout it can get you killed via depression#itās not a joke#thereās a reason your elders have books and community lore about healthy activism even in times of crisis#they lived it. they learned from it. learn from them.#spend your time doing things that can make real impacts.#do little things online but unless youāre an actual information hub you shouldnāt be posting constantly about it#people wonāt even want to follow you anymore eventually because thatās not why they followed you#and then you have no audience for your important message anyway.#I know this. I learned it myself on other accounts.#please. stop. harassing me.#how is harassing me going to make me MORE willing to change my mind and post? just because you demanded it?#I am an autonomous person#this is my ONE curated space on the website#you have a multitude of tags and other users#donāt waste energy on a person who already told you no. letās call that activism rule number two#spend your energy where itās not likely to be wasted#youāre needed for a long haul#act like it š#and stop spamming me š#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?
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i still cannot get over The Twins like.
imagine.
you have another version of you out there arguably living a life just as difficult as yours, if not more, that you can talk to at literally Any Time! and they're You so you basically already have half a convo down anytime you decide to pop on over via a portal
1610 and 42 stepping out of their respective portals side-by-side just to stroll out of an alleyway like nothin happened just going:
1610: LOUD SIGH
42: rough day too huh?
1610, brushing debris off of his shoulder: yeeep. another run-in with the rhino. again.
42: you didn't lock his dumb ass up like, last month? how'd he get out?
1610: don't know, don't care. so done with this week, i just wanna... i dunno. hibernate til spring š®āšØ
42: man, what a mood.
1610: what happened to you? you look like you had a rougher day than me!
42, covered in visible bruises and cuts along with his bandages: mannnn... rougher week more like. well... rougher life. but. anyways.
they both nod at each other in Understanding
#spiderverse#miles g morales#miles morales#can yall imagine the Sleepovers#and the fact that if miles canonically has anxiety then All Mileses have anxiety#goddamn. in 42's case the panic attacks would be SO damn painful alongside obvious ptsd symptoms#OUHHHHHHHGGGGHGGGBH MY BABY BOYS#if i think abt it too much ill cry š¢#they are both Anxiety Brothers In Arms. just sharing one look between each other#and thats all they need#i am also so so so so enamoured with them swapping Mental Health Tips with each other#bc you know damn well aaron is NOT helping 42's traumatized ass with any of that ššš#poor kiddo#then he finds 1610 and 1610 is like 'dude that sounds like symptoms of ptsd. also youre having a panic attack rn'#and a whole new world is opened up for widdle miles g#but 42 is Not Dumb and i know he has coping mechanisms of his own!#catch him str8 up sitting on 1610 when he's havin a panic attack and 1610 goes 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING'#42: trust me bro. you need pressure on you rn. i do this all the time when im panicking like u are#1610: you get someone to sit on you?!#42: uh. no. i haul over aaron's punching bag off the chain and lay it on me.#1610 who is now visibly much calmer: uhhh wow. hm. that's kind of a good idea actually#42: right?! it helps out a lot!#clown horn
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Though I act unreasonable and don't behave well sometimes, if one day you feel you no longer want to be with me, just tell me straight because if you disappear, I would be in so much pain.
We Are (2024) | 1.12
My Favorite Scenes [6/?] | dir. New Siwaj Sawatmaneekul
#we are#we are the series#aou thanaboon#boom tharatorn#tanfang#aouboom#thai bl#thai series#bl series#mambo.gifs#fang made me want to cry fr cause i saw myself in him during this whole exchange#being so hurt to the point where you ask and beg that if you're own person is going to leave one day#ease the anxiety by making an announcement#because we will feel the shift in the universe before you can conjure up the thought of breaking up#it makes me sit here and wonder who hurt this poor baby#and when tan finds out#count your motherfucking days
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If you've ever replied to a post and I haven't replied to you just know if I saw it I nodded sagely and then either meant to reply and completely forgot or just had nothing interesting to add. We can all hold hands and be friends on this beautiful earth
#or the secret third option (got scared what I wanted to say might come across weird n Then forgot while trying to think of better wording)#love when people are so nice to me on the internet. sorry I can't be normal about it#sometimes I like to sit and think about the fact I'm almost 30.#whst they don't tell you in psychiatry is that you'll actually just be weird forever. and there's nothing you can do about it#<- was convinced I'd grow out of anxiety but it got worse lol#fuck twenty one pilots was right...#I forgot what the body of the post was I just like. started a new whole separate post in the tags. sorry#okay. 3am posting oval.#sunny with clouds
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Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly wouldāve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, youāve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didnāt go right for him. Itās why youāre so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.
Heās a clinger, youāve also learned as youāve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you canāt help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.
omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because heās such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking youāll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.
it belatedly shocks him when itās the exact opposite. when heās slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. heās just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe itās the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings heās always suppressed.
drunk sex with Dabi where heās the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesnāt do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before heās flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.
#at first I wrote about him getting whisky dick and not even realizing it and being so embarrassed about it the next morning#but it made me laugh too hard and I was like#no one will enjoy that dude shut up AJSHDKDJDJD#but omg lightweight baby that can only cling to you and whine to go back to your room to fuck#only to pass out immediately on the bed lmfao#I love him Iām gonna str*ngle him so bad#anyway I finished all my work for the week and now I feel empty so I will be moving onto next weeks work tomorrow LOL NERD#but everything next week is simple too so why not get it out the way ya know????#after that I might sit down and actually write another fic since itās been a little minute#everyone voted for therapist obsessed bkg next but I kinda wanna write something emotional for touya now lmfao#Iām becoming so obsessed with him and it HURTS!!!!!#I can only handle one āš» at a time or else I start getting the shakes#also omg my regular dr is making me go to the heart dr bc she said my anxiety worries her for my physical condition aksjdj embarrassing#okay bye Iām gonna read a little and sleep#ānew treat in the streets! š«#dabi treats! š¬#tw: alchohol mention
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ok tomorrow Iām gonna go in to work and have a meeting with my managers and if they decide they canāt reconcile with what I am asking, I am going to quit.
my brother literally just died from lung cancer presumably caused by his job and I cannot sit in whatever fucking fumes are coming out of that machine anymore. Itās unreasonable and unsafe and they are going to be facing severe legal action should anything happen
#Iām posting this so that one of you will threaten me at gun point to do this#anxiety is OFF the charts but i literally cannot passively sit back when my health and safety is on the line#I CAN get a new job#I WILL get a new job#Also i literally canāt work in this environment bc my anxiety has gotten so out of control that work is just an 8 hour panic attack#lea speaks
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so Iāve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know itās rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. stillā¦ compelled to ventā¦ big butts#havenāt really been on here much since it hasnāt really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#itās cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and Iāve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know Iād love to justā¦ talk to someone. I suppose it has to be āon my termsā whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and Iām about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe Iāll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. justā¦ pop! and Iām done.#Iāll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if itās just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. havenāt wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#canāt be sad if you canāt feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but itās drugs food or movie right now. soā¦#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe itāll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anywayā¦ I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#Iāve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and Iām tired of it. Iām so tired.#Iāve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like Iām just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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Job hunting has got to be one of my least favorite parts of being alive
#for those of you following the $12 raise saga#I got it and enjoyed for 3 weeks#and then the one project supporting my company through this hell of a spring#ran into funding issues and cut us out#not currently technically jobless but I don't have any work to do#and I am not one to sit around hoping things sort themselves out#SO! we hunt the elusive job beast#but since I've already held the position I'm vying for now#I'm hopeful that my sweet sweet paycheck will be relatively unmarred#once I'm working again#until then *screams*#oh also I'm moving in February lol#maybe it's better than I'm not working right now so I can focus on that#but I tell you what#my anxiety has rarely been worse#don't mind me
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I stopped marking anxiety on medical forms where it asks what i've been diagnosed with in the past because I experienced every doctor telling me all my problems were anxiety and getting no help. except trying to convince me to take anti anxiety meds (tried once and made me have constant panic attacks and I only slept i think 5 hours in a week and was having hallucinations and stuff. never again!!!) but when i'm having heart rate increase with palpitations and shaking and dizziness and sweating and weakness and completely exhasution and feeling out of breath, nausea, and etc, it happens without the anxiety brain symptoms. I just stand up and it happens, even if head empty. but doesn't happen if i'm layijg down and worrying about a thing?? not sure if I should try talking to a doctor about it again and hope not marking the anxiety box helps, or just assume i'll be told it's anxiety again and not waste my energy..........
#ive always had these kind of problems but was told its anxiety and it wasnt too bad so i just ignored it#but after being really sick for 5 months last winter its been 10x worse so maybe i should be concerned??????#every time i stand up or while working my physical labor job i get hit with these and almost pass out sometimes. vision goes black#tried a fitbit and said my resting heart rate is between 58-62 and when i stand up it goes up to like 120#until i sit then it goes to around 90. laying down its back to 60s. but not sure i can trust an old fitbit. its probably wrong#but i can feel my heart rate increase and stuff so something is happening#closest i can find is pots which makes sense with how common it is with autism and heds (which i think i have instead of hsd)#but cant know unless a doctor tells me. but rhe symptoms being the same as anxiety makes it hard to be taken seriously if you have a history#of being told everything is your anxiety and not real. but am i really anxious? or am i sick lmao#lee rambles#all i know is ive struggled 100x more since i got very sick last winter and never recovered fully from it so its just my life now#and no one takes my struggles seriously#its like what people describe as long covid but different symptoms and no one takes those people seriously either. sigh
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I'm going insane. Since when do anxiety attack states of being last ALL DAY.
#my heartbeat has been over 100 most of today#my resting usually sits at like 65-80 depending on how fast I'm walking#I was sitting in lecture at 112! insane.#I have 62 active minutes on my FitBit lmao I have done in fact less physical activity than usual (no gym about usual walking for Wednesdays#(maybe a bit less)#and my stomach has been fucked up all day!#I have a normal amount of mental clarity I'm only a little bit having mental/psychological anxiety#it's like primarily physical. I can't focus because of it this is so uncomfortable#lmao I mentioned to one of my friends (? maybe?) they were like 'how are you today' while in chem lab#I was like 'I'm evil today but it's ok it happens' they were like 'huh what does that mean'#I was struggling to figure out what I wanted to tell him lol we are not very close#so I settled on 'yea I've been having some sort of anxiety attack all day'#told him about my 112 bpm in chem lecture wooo#they were like '??? is that normal???' I was like 'no lmao but it's fine it just usually isn't this Long'#it's like fine because I can still do like lab and get to classes I just can't think very well#I can follow directions and it's best if I can keep moving y'know#alas. anyways#I'm giggling about this because my Mind is fine my Self is normal my body just feels like shit#I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday and I have parties this weekend so I'll be fine I think#I might have to lighten up on my SGA duties though which SUCKS but I need to pass my classes#anyways
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#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point#i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one#i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit#and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair#and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again#i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl#and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it#and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill#and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with#and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own#i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person#and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks#also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me#and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now#and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do#and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this#but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me#and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end#anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down
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i got so excited about getting an email that my stamps have shipped
is this what being an adult is like?
#anyways gonna have stamps hopefully by thursday so i can send the rest of my things out#im getting two in the mail tomorrow as they are priority and rest when the stamps get here#..and that big one when i overcome social anxiety and take it to the post office to confirm how much it weights so i can ship it properly#which will hopefully be next weeks tuesday since im in town#but yeah! bracelets should be going out soon finally! i didnt get the last ones back after sending them so its a good sign!#tho its been almost a week and now im concerned where are they since i havent been told theyve arrived so...#need to remember international postage is slow ough#but yeah. all should be good at least. so excited to finally get things to people ššš#which means im motivated and inspired to make more soooo hopefully another shop update by friday. maybe sneak peeks early? š#and comms are open ofc if you want something specific š#okay no more ramble time i gotta eat and take care of few important things before i can sit down to make bracelets ough#night is an absolute mess on main
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Night shift or short attention span for the wip thing?
Iāll choose night shift basically Akihiko has this nightmare based on a real memory where he and Shinji got into a very heated fight that dissolved into like, chaos and angry beatings on Akihikoās part and his nightmare is a warped version where he just keeps punching Shinji in a blind rage until thereās nothing left of him. He wakes up terrified and unsure of whatās happening and Shinji isnāt there BUT ITS OKAY HES FINE heās just at work I think sadly unfortunately my man has to work a shitty convenience store job to make some money while trying to figure life out and heās temporarily working night shifts so thatās why heās gone and Aki does call him at work in the middle of the night for reassurance and asks if that incident really went down the way he remembers it (it didnāt). Itās kinda dark but has a nice ending at least
#ask#idk if ill ever like. finish and post that one hm#but what triggered this idea was like. the pain of a loved one crying and screaming over you but all you can do is sit there unfeeling#akihiko was mad at how removed shinji has become and how he just doesnt seem to care about anything anymore and its very upsetting#and aki gets really emotional and theyre fighting and hes crying and shaking but shinji isnt fighting back hes just letting it happen#hes just lying there and seeing his friend on top of him sobbing doesnt seem to affect him in any way cuz hes so emotionless#and akihiko just gets more mad at that and thats what causes him to freak out cuz why isnt shinji fighting back anymore#and then you know in the nightmare its warped with guilt and fear and ends with aki being so caught up in his reactions#that he doesnt notice how hes hurt shinji and its too late and hes killed him#cuz id say once everything settles down post canon theres a lot of lingering anxiety about everything#aki fears that he pushed too hard and drove shinji away and didnt notice his pain until it was too late#but when he calls shinji to get the real story it obviously isnt how aki remembers cuz he first off didnt kill shinji#what really happened was akihiko was sobbing and kinda just swinging haphazardly everywhere and landed some hits on shinji but not enough to#really fuck him up and it ends with him giving up and laying on top of shinji crying#shinji kinda awkwardly embraces him cuz what else can he do when he still cant feel anything but hates to see his friend upset#so the actual incident wasnt very pretty or happy but they made it out alive and are working things out now#very bittersweet very angsty shinji is so goddamn emotionally repressed i mean they both are actually#also on a lighter note shinji was just like on the phone with his bf during his shift and aki is like wait are you slacking off#and shinji is like bitch you literally called me??? and who cares id like to see these bitches try and fire me š¤#hes behind the register in a stupid uniform while horrible music plays theres like one customer there#theyre making direct eye contact the entire phone call
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I can't sleep again
#it's all just too much#i need to be sending out emails and arranging stuff for a whole load of different things#but doing that fills me with such anxiety because i dont know how the fuck it works#but every moment I'm not doing those things it fills me with anxiety because i realise I'm standing still#and the only way forward it seems is through this#only it's not because the previous thing i was going was actually working and helping me forward but then my local gov said no actually#you're not allowed to do the thing anymore because we think so even tho we dont know what were talking about#so now you got the offer to look into this other thing that really just feels like the thing you already had but worse#so you have to contact the new thing and see what exactly they're about but already deep inside you know it probably wont work out#so it feels like you'll be doing that only so you can see it doesnt work in the hope that maybe if it doesnt work you can go back#to the gov people and show them the old thing was actually right. but that might not work and then you'll have to sue them#and all the while you spend your days just sitting at home doing nothing and slowly wasting away#getting a little bit worse every day. as you feel all the progress you made in the last year slowly slip through your fingers#and you start to think that maybe this is it. maybe it just doesn't get better. maybe this really is the best you can do and any more just#isn't in the cards for you. maybe you're just not cut out for this whole adult life business. you'll forever be...a failure#and that's just one thing. one thing of many you constantly need to worry about. it's not even adressing that your adhd treatment is still#kind of unclear who exactly is responsible. you've been running out of meds for a week and still haven't called because it's too much stress#or the way its been almost five years since you got on the waiting list at the gender clinic#three years of which were spent on the waiting list#but even now you've been āin treatmentā for the past year and a half you still feel like you're no further. still no official ādiagnosisā.#still no approval to change your birth certificate. your passport will run out by the end of the year and you'll have to get yet another#new one with your dead name on it. still no idea when you might finally get their approval to start on HRT. no idea when you might finally#get to stop feeling like every single day your body becomes a little less yours. where you look in the mirror and see someone stare back who#just simply looks wrong. feels wrong. you look at the hair on your head that really needs a haircut but you dont dare touch it because its#the one little thing that keeps the dysphoria at bay. and then you think of your dad and his bald head. and you look at your hairline and#cant help but wonder āis it receding a bit more right there?ā always wondering if you'll lose this little bit of safety too#its all just too much. i dont know how much longer I can keep pushing myself forward at this rate. when all the good things get taken away#and I'm left having to deal with all of it on my own. i dont want to be alone but i dont know how to reach out to those around me. not even#to my friends sometimes. i know they're out there and i know they care but at the same time i dont know how to#let them. so I'm left alone and it's all my fault? isn't it. i know not all of this is my fault but also all of it is and i just
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yeah guys idk I'm just thinking maybe the lightheadedness and desire to sit down about halfway through putting away groceries my whole life might not have just been a reaction to the way my parents were when i was a kid and the accompanying anxiety and sudden flurry of movement, but also possibly maybe i have a Health Thing about this...
#thank god i finally scheduled that doctor's appointment#Jan 15 cannot come quickly enough tbh#like i've streamlined getting shit put away and i hurry as soon as the wooziness starts hitting because i know i'm on borrowed time#and that's when the trauma reaction kicks in of ''i can't stop halfway through i'll be in trouble'' anxiety#because i *enjoy* putting away groceries and organizing the kitchen#i just also can't without a lot of assistance and plenty of spoons and time to prepare myself physically and mentally beforehand#this post brought to you by i had this realization doing the groceries and now i'm having like a lot of thoughts about it#i can't do it all in one go ever and i have never been able to without someone else handling about half of it#no matter how much i get or of what i can only get about half put away before time's up and i gotta sit down#it's why so much of my food was non-perishable when i was on my own#cause i'd get the cold things put away because they *had* to be#and then i couldn't physically do any more - especially if the groceries that week were more cold than non-perishable#but like yeah if i had to stop or take a break in putting away the groceries (despite also having gone to the grocery store#and walked around the whole store and grabbed items AND carried the heavy things into the house because i was the heavy lifter#AND i was in sports and had probably either just done a lot of exercise or was still in recovery from the day before/earlier that day)#i got fussed at for not helping out#so that's fucked up and fuck my mom actually she sucks#ugh
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