#anti-authority
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Feeling good. At peace, at ease, free. Walking back to my boyfriends alone. He's not there. So I'll have some time to myself. Big sigh. It's not a sad sigh or a sigh of relief. Just a sigh. I know my favorite color is brown, đ€ deep brown. But next to that I love pale blue and white very very much.
Gazing upon the sky after the gym is just so , it makes me wanna cry how beautiful it is. It's indescribably halcyon. What does halcyon mean? I learned that word with Jackie. When we were good friends, scrapbooking journals (real life diaries) together, I remember using the word halcyon to describe us , our experience of togetherness. God.
Oh now I spy green leaves, bushes, plants, dead fallen brownish tan leaves too. It's just so lovely. *laughter and snort* I snort sometimes when I laugh. I hope it's cute but it just simply is what it is.
I enjoy plainness, simplicity, minimalism, lace. I also love collared Peter pan shirts and almost bought one on temu. My mom's obsessed with temu. But someone on here -my Tumblr, told me temu is no good. Eh. So I obeyed and got rid of my temu app. Can't very well wear button up shirts to the gym anyway. No point in getting them unless I'm showing off to someone other than my boyfriend. Cus I don't think he likes the button up shirt look on girls. Tho I am not certain. The point is God will provide my clothing, and I don't need to fret over it. Thankyou.
I got another almond milk acai berry yogurt! They are so so good. It's like my favorite food now that I'm "thin". I looked in the mirror today at gym and was surprised like damn, I look different, I am truly thin now and I look like myself again. But my therapist and psychiatrist haven't ever seen me this size. Well they did once, and said I was losing too much weight. I am 135 pounds at height 5'7. That is NOT too thin. I feel angry at them because of their negative unwholesome judgment on my weight and size. I've struggled with eating disorders, yes, but I am a healthy weight, I am a healthy person with the exception of my vaping. My psychiatrist is obese and therapist overweight. It's not fair. I hope they will just let me be this size without any negative feedback this time.
I'm sorry~ I'm not saying bigger people are ugly in any way shape or form, but I am saying I have the right to be a healthy weight and be moderately thin. It is my authentic appearance.
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I should probably stop openly talking about lying to people in positions of authority at work đ
but like it's so hard when a coworker is like "God I really hope I get this day off" and all I want to say is "then lie bitch!" Like tell them you have an uncancellable doctor's appointment or you need it off to drive your friend to the airport or your dog needs to be picked up from surgery. I don't care if it's actually for one of those reason or if they just don't want to work that day. Fuck capitalism.
The amount of times I've said "it's okay to lie to people in power" at work is honestly so high. Like I'm not a liar, I'm a pretty honest person unless it's about my deep personal feelings or whatever but I do NOT get the hang up about always telling the truth. Like sometimes a white lie is fine. And no matter what, people in positions of authority will never fully have your back, esp if they have someone else to answer to.
#sometimes lying is okay#esp to people who have power over you#anti-authority#lying is okay#like my coworker literally just needed to get off early to take her dog to the vet because its dewclaw was fucked up and infected#and she was worried that our supes wouldnt let her leave early#and i said tell them you're stomach really hurts or you have a family emergency"#and she was SHOOK that i told her to lie#i was like GIRL you know that i know that you hate our bosses anyways so like what is the reason for not lying?#like theyre not gonna expect a full report the next day itll be fine
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So, people say that Sonic is anti-authority. I think that's a gross oversimplification.
Sonic is fine with authority as a concept. Sonic is fine with working with authority from time to time. Sonic is fine taking orders, and following other peoples lead.
What Sonic is NOT is someone who likes to do something he doesn't want to do. Sonic is obsessed with personal freedom to an almost childish degree, and doesn't stick around if he doesn't want to - but something that a lot of people forget is that if his goals and authorities' goals align, HE WILL WORK WITH THE AUTHORITIES.
And when those goals are completed, he will get wanderlust and leave again, to go do something else.
Sonic is NOT some sort of anti-establishment rebel who seeks to destroy the government, or wants to rebel against society, or tear down the system - because he doesn't care about the system unless they start actively oppressing people.
And if you want to work within the system? If you want to submit to authority and do what the government tells you? He's cool with that. He's not upset or angry, because what matters to Sonic is that it was your choice to do so, and you're not being forced or compelled.
If Sonic really hated authority to such a degree as some people I've seen on this site believe he does, he'd never work with the Restoration, which is a massive organization and authority. But he does.
He counts a number of friends among these Authority organizations and freely hangs out with them from time to time. He counts Rouge and Shadow as friends, and they worked for GUN for a number of years - and he's taken orders from Rouge from time to time.
Sonic is not anti-authority. He's more complicated then that.
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correct me if iâm wrong cos i donât watch dune.. but iâve seen people call paul a tragic character. except isnât he a whole white coloniser tricking indigenous poc into believing heâs a prophet to serve his own interests? thatâs inherently evil that cannot be a tragic character imo
so yes that is correct that is what happens. the tragedy is that he is a sixteen year old boy who gets a vision of this happening and he is TERRIFIED and absolutely does not want this to happen at all. He does not want the holy war he does not want to be the chosen one he initially very much wants to fight alongside the fremen as equals trying to liberate themselves from their current colonizer without becoming the messiah because they have common political cause.
And then the entire second half of the first book (and the second movie) are about the concessions he makes to himself bit by bit by bit (well itâs the only way to save his mom and sister. well itâs the only way to prevent nuclear war. well he does want his revenge. well maybe he IS special.) Until by the end he has lost 100% of his humanity, fully wants to be the messiah and is willing to manipulate people into thinking so, and has declared himself duke of arrakis in his fatherâs name and made a play for the imperial throne.
youâre right that itâs evil. the book and these movies agree with you. the tragedy is watching a child who desperately wanted to avoid this slowly completely lose himself to it anyways. i donât think âtragicâ and âevilâ are inherently mutually exclusive.
#so dune is thematically complicated. because it IS very much anti white savior and anti colonial.#but the author white american weirdo that he is is still throwing a lot of orientalism out while communicating those themes#dune
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I watched Starship Troopers tonight.
#personal#dumb#my art#immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it#cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going âfuck thatâ and making a satir#scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance.#âThe Critical Drinkerâ (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol.#and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator#scrolled through the comments#second panel face#this sucks i'm outta here.#just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for ânot understanding what fascism isâ#idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going âwow yeah that was pretty obvious huhâ like literally the from opening#to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to âthose who serve their nation first and earn itâ#and then seeing droves of people online going#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's#the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.
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Schmeb You Unlocked pages
Scans of images from the Schmeb You Unlocked pages. Sorry about the black line intersecting them, as on the website itself the image were fractured, and I had to reconnect them.
#Gravity Falls#Schmeb You Unlocked#Website#Disney#meta#lore#Schmebulock#Pacifica Northwest#Sibling Brothers#Flibrick Pines#Anti Mabel#Tate McGucket#Grunkle Stan#Stanley Pines#The Author#Ford Pines#Dipper Pines#Mabel Pines#Stanford Pines#Mr. What's-His-Face#The Key is Inside Job#Alex Hirsch#website scans#Gravity Falls Lost Legends
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I feel like it shouldn't need to be said, but a relatively faithful adaptation of the source material is actually a very normal and reasonable thing for both an author and that author's fanbase to want. People can sneer about book purists all they want but it's the rare adaptation that surpasses the original, and HotD does not even come close.
#people acting like george is the first author to shit on an adaptation. lol. lmao.#hand wringing like that man is personally wants poor little orphan set designers to lose their jobs#it's clear from his post that he's been lied to ignored and disrespected#throwing the man who gave you this fandom in the first place under the bus for the sake of a mid ass showrunner is insane#get a grip#grrm#hotd critical#anti ryan condal#anti hotd writers
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Shen Yuan: Oh you're a hater?
Shen Yuan: Answer me this then. Have you ever hated something so much that it killed you?
Shen Yuan: That's what I fucking thought
Shen Yuan: Bitch
#y'all are fake haters#shen yuan is the only anti I respect#if you hate a story so much then fix it and marry the protagonist in the process#also have a love/hate relationship with the author#shen yuan#mxtx#svsss#scum villian self saving system
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Crafting Compelling Morally Gray Characters: A Guide for Fiction Writers
In literature, there is often a clear distinction between good and evil. Heroes are portrayed as virtuous and villains as wicked. However, in recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of morally gray characters - those who do not fit neatly into the categories of good or evil. These characters are complex, flawed, and often make decisions that challenge the reader's moral compass. In this guide, I'll help you explore the art of crafting compelling morally gray characters and how to make them stand out in your fiction writing.
What Are Morally Gray Characters?
Morally gray characters, also known as morally ambiguous characters, are those who do not conform to traditional notions of good or evil. They may have both positive and negative traits, and their actions may be motivated by a mix of good and bad intentions. These characters often blur the lines between right and wrong, making them more relatable and intriguing to readers.
Examples of Morally Gray Characters
Some well-known examples of morally gray characters include:
Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series: Initially portrayed as a villain, Snape's true motivations and actions are revealed to be more complex and morally ambiguous.
Jaime Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire series: Known for his arrogance and incestuous relationship with his sister, Jaime's character evolves throughout the series, showcasing his internal struggle between his duty and his personal desires.
Walter White from Breaking Bad: A high school chemistry teacher turned methamphetamine producer, Walter's character is constantly torn between his desire for power and his moral compass.
Why Are Morally Gray Characters Compelling?
Morally gray characters are compelling because they challenge the reader's perceptions of right and wrong. They are not easily categorized as heroes or villains, making them more relatable and human. These characters also add depth and complexity to a story, making it more interesting and thought-provoking.
The Power of Relatability
One of the main reasons morally gray characters are so compelling is because they are relatable. They are not perfect, and they make mistakes, just like real people. This makes them more human and allows readers to connect with them on a deeper level. When readers can see themselves in a character, it creates a stronger emotional connection to the story.
The Element of Surprise
Morally gray characters also add an element of surprise to a story. Their actions and decisions may not always align with what the reader expects, keeping them on the edge of their seat. This unpredictability makes the story more engaging and can lead to unexpected plot twists.
The Exploration of Morality
Morally gray characters also allow for a deeper exploration of morality in a story. By challenging traditional notions of good and evil, these characters force readers to question their own moral compass and consider the gray areas of morality. This can lead to thought-provoking discussions and a deeper understanding of complex moral issues.
How to Craft Morally Gray Characters
Crafting morally gray characters requires a delicate balance of positive and negative traits, as well as a deep understanding of their motivations and internal struggles. Here are some tips for creating compelling morally gray characters in your writing.
Give Them a Strong Motivation
Every character, regardless of their moral alignment, should have a strong motivation for their actions. For morally gray characters, this motivation should be complex and not easily defined as purely good or evil. It could be a desire for power, revenge, or even a sense of duty. This motivation will drive their decisions and actions throughout the story.
Show Their Flaws and Vulnerabilities
Morally gray characters are not perfect, and they should not be portrayed as such. They should have flaws and vulnerabilities that make them more relatable and human. These flaws could be physical, emotional, or moral, and they should play a role in the character's development and decisions.
Create Internal Conflict
One of the defining characteristics of morally gray characters is their internal conflict. They are torn between their good and bad tendencies, and this struggle should be evident in their thoughts and actions. This internal conflict adds depth to the character and makes them more relatable to readers.
Avoid Stereotypes
When crafting morally gray characters, it's important to avoid falling into stereotypes. These characters should not be one-dimensional or defined solely by their moral ambiguity. They should have unique personalities, backgrounds, and motivations that make them stand out as individuals.
Show Their Growth and Development
As with any well-written character, morally gray characters should experience growth and development throughout the story. They should learn from their mistakes and make decisions that challenge their moral compass. This growth and development will make them more dynamic and interesting to readers.
How to Make Morally Gray Characters Stand Out
With the rise in popularity of morally gray characters, it's important to make yours stand out in a sea of similar characters. Here are some tips for making your morally gray characters unique and memorable.
Give Them a Distinctive Voice
A character's voice is an essential part of their identity. It should be unique and reflective of their personality and motivations. For morally gray characters, their voice should reflect their internal conflict and the complexity of their moral alignment.
Create a Strong Backstory
A character's backstory can provide valuable insight into their motivations and actions. For morally gray characters, a strong backstory can help explain their moral ambiguity and add depth to their character. It can also create empathy and understanding for their decisions.
Use Foils to Highlight Their Morality
Foils are characters who contrast with the main character, highlighting their strengths and weaknesses. For morally gray characters, foils can be used to showcase their moral ambiguity and challenge their beliefs. This can add depth to the character and create interesting dynamics between them and other characters.
Morally gray characters add depth, complexity, and relatability to a story. By challenging traditional notions of good and evil, these characters force readers to question their own moral compass and consider the gray areas of morality.
#thewriteadviceforwriters#writing#creative writing#how to write#writers and poets#writing tips#on writing#writeblr#writers block#authors on tumblr#authoradvice#writer#author#writerscommunity#morally grey characters#morally gray#morally grey villain#anti hero#writers#writers on tumblr#writerslife#writer stuff#writerscreed#female writers#writersociety#writing advice#writing help#writer tips#writing resources
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Who wants to bet Peerless Cucumber has an entire fan base within the pidwâs fandom? Potentially even bringing in a portion of pidwâs readers who just want to enjoy shen yuan just loosing it in the comments.
Like sure, some of the fandomâs definitely there for the toxic masculinity and papapa, but I guarantee you thereâs an entire section dedicated to gleefully watching the fandom sewer rat being feral.
#peerless cucumber is a fandom onto himself#shen yuan is the fandom feral sewer rat#shen yuan probably wrote just as much hate mail as airplane wrote for the novel#I just think itâd be humorous if airplane and cucumber are like synonymous with each other#like you canât talk about pidw without cucumber being brought up too#itâs honestly pretty telling that Shang Qinghua knew who peerless cucumber was#heâs so famous for anti fanning that the author knows his name#svsss shen qingqiu#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#mxtx svsss#svsss#svsss fanfiction#svsss fic#svsss shitpost#scumbag system#scumbag self saving system#scumbag villain#pidw#peerless cucumber#airplane shooting towards the sky#cucumber bro#airplane bro
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#a court of thorns and roses#acotar#anti zionisim#gaza#free palestine#anti genocide#israel#israhell#zionistterror#zionazis#zionsim is terrorism#save north gaza#save west bank#save rafah#save palestine#anti sjm#anti sarah j maas#fourth wing#violet sorrengail#rebecca yarros#taylor jenkins reid#seven husbands of evelyn hugo#evelyn hugo#chloe walsh#monica murphy#jk rowling#sheâs also a fucking zio#love the characters but fuck the authors
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A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Part One
Welcome to my new series, where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.
And when I say 'poor writer,' I'm talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the plots of the books.
This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.
Disclaimer for all readers: I'm going to sound very confident in my posts. I'm going to be working under the assumption that I'm a better writer than JKR. Because I am. My apologies if this rubs you the wrong way. You're just witnessing two and half decades of experience with the intensity from a neurodivergent who is hyperfocused on her special interest. I didn't just learn how to create stories; I learned the craft of writing to a minutia of details.
After years of being beaten down by others, I will no longer tolerate that.
I will be using my writing to compare with hers to make some of my points. Some of what I say in these posts could be considered stylistic choices. However, in my humble opinion, most of this is a difference of skill, which can be learned. Yes, everything I'm going to teach and cover in this series can be learned. There's no 'talent' here. You can learn how to become a better writer right here and now. You only have to understand the craft of writing and sentence structure to better improve your prose and scenes.
I don't have fame and money.
I don't need them to teach you how to write better than JKR.
You're free to disagree with my stances about this and about everything I cover, of course. But if you're a writer, you might gain some insight from this post and I sincerely hope you are enriched by my efforts in this. I spent quite a few hours on this post. Helping others become a better writer than JKR is one of the greatest contributions I can give to society.
Thus, take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
I have stated before: JKR's writing is bloated in the wrong places, underwritten in others, and the prose is poor. These problems show up in all of her HP books.
Buckle up, my writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Let's begin.
Class is in session.
In this post, we're going to dissect a page from HP4.
There's so much wrong with this page and the three pages of this scene overall. So much to go over. Bullet points I'll cover from this page:
Disconnected Dialogue Lines
The Great Sin of Adverbs
Too much fucking dialogue!
Wrong focus altogether in this scene
Out of POV writing
First point. This is a huge ongoing issue I see in all of the HP books. There are a lot of disconnected dialogue lines, which become confusing over time. This could be an issue of the publisher, but it's still a problem. In the middle of this page, we have:
Sirius hesitated. "I've been hearing some very strange things," he said slowly.
Wait, wait, wait. Who said this? Listen, I know. I know it's Sirius. However, this is an improper placement on the page and can become confusing because Harry also goes by he/him pronouns and he's also in this scene. While the dialogue here suggests Sirius is talking, it could easily be misinterpreted if there were other characters or if he said something that Harry could've just as easily said.
To make this dialogue more clear for the reader, it should go as follows:
Sirius hesitated. "I've been hearing some very strange things," he said slowly.
Second point. JKR is an adverb sinner, a criminal. Jail. "Do not pass go; do not collect $200." Arrest her for these blatant crimes, please, for the love of god.
Look, I love adverbs. They're great. Don't fucking listen to anyone who outright demonizes them (including your huffy, uppity literature professors). Adverbs are the seasonings of writing. You season your food; you also need to season your writing when the case asks for it.
However...
Adverbs should always be used sparingly when connected to dialogue tags. The setting in this scene is: Harry is in the Gryffindor Common Room at night crouched in front of the fireplace where Sirius is in the fire in a floo call. I read through the whole scene, though I've only shown one page here.
Harry says a line of dialogue 'slowly' three times and Sirius says a line of dialogue 'slowly' two times.
The same adverb 'slowly' is used FIVE FUCKING TIMES IN THREE PAGES.
I want to scream, not gonna lie here. Set this adverb on fire!
What does this adverb do for us in this conversation? What is so important that we have to be told that five lines of dialogue were said slowly? What do they contribute? Spoiler alert: nothing. What are their facial expressions? Harry is 14. He's exhausted since it's well after 1am or so and he's burdened with the new knowledge of dragons for the first task. He's kneeling in front of a very hot fireplace. There's fire fumes and smoke, potentially. Is he fidgeting? Is he yawning? Rubbing his eyes? Bouncing a leg? Is he picking at the carpet or rug?
Harry is a tired, burdened child.
Show me this!
Now I'm not saying that you can't use adverbs in your dialogue tags. There's a huge difference between "he said softly" and "he whispered." It's about balancing the moment when an adverb says just enough versus an adverb replacing well needed scene enrichment. Let's compare this with a section from my HP time travel fanfiction, Terrible, But Great, Chapter Thirty.
Dumbledore nodded at Monty, pocketing his wand. âMr. Potter.â âLo, Professor,â said Monty, pout gone, but still a watchful light in his gaze. âIs there a problem?â asked Dumbledore in a mild tone. Ice slipped in between Tomâs ribs, piercing his flesh. Monty tilted his head. âNo, sir.â Oh, but Tom knew better. He could see through that innocent facade. The man couldâve been a Slytherin for how much he was cataloguing every little detail, from Tomâs appearance, to the content of the selected books, and to the supplies of ink, quill, and parchment scattered on the surface of the table. Tom masked the raw, whirling feelings in his chest with a well practiced blank, emotionless expression. He willed himself to hide. âNothing at all, sir,â said Tom lightly. âYoung Mr. Potter was regaling me about his friendship with Miss Malfoy.â Monty glanced at Tom, brows furrowing. Those blue eyes were piercing, filled with suspicion. âWas he now?â Dumbledore said; though his tone was still without direct accusation, Tom could hear the hint of it. âThen, may I ask, why a silencing charm was necessary for such a benign conversation?â Tom wet his lips. His throat was dry. âI thought it wise to avoid disturbing others in the library.â âI am awfully loud,â said Monty with a sage nod. âAh. A noble intent. However, it is not an appropriate use of magic in the library,â said Dumbledore, his gaze firm as it bore down on Tom. âTen points from Slytherin. I think itâd be wise to take your studies to your common room, Mr. Riddle.â âYes, sir,â whispered Tom.
I only used "said Tom lightly" once in this section to show Tom attempting to be unaffected by Dumbledore's interference. I did not dialogue dump information in giant chunks. I did utilized actions tags versus adverbs, like Monty tilting his head or Tom licking his lips. I suspect that if JKR had written this scene, she'd have used lines like:
"No, sir," said Monty curiously.
or
"I thought it wise to avoid disturbing others in the library," said Tom nervously.
The adverbs that JKR's uses add nothing to her scenes. They're just thrown into them without a thought. Did she even reread this scene after she wrote it? I cringe in agony if I use an uncommon word more than three or four times in an entire 4,000 to 7,000 word chapter, let alone the same adverb five times in three pages. Good grief.
There are two other adverbs used in this page, hastily and bitterly. Hastily does nothing for the scene and is connected to another issue, but I'll go over that in the end. However, bitterly is one of the adverbs I'd keep. It gives us a glimpse into Harry's feelings here. We need more of this, but we got nothing.
Thus, the overuse of adverbs in JKR's dialogue detracts and steals so much from the scene.
Third point: there's too much dialogue and no description whatsoever. Again, the adverbs are a pathetic attempt to give us something, but they're thrown in there without a damn forethought. We're missing the crackle of the fire and the smell of it. We're missing Sirius' facial expressions. We're missing Harry moving around on the floor, fidgeting, yawning, rubbing his eyes, feeling the heat of the fire, bouncing his legs, picking at the rug, something, anything, etc.
The dialogue is bloated with a terribly boring conversation. It's just endless dialogue with nothing else. No, it's awful. Welcome to the fourth bullet point. This scene focuses on the entirely wrong point. This scene is 100% a plot device and it's terribly done as well. It's three pages about Karkaroff being a Death Eater--oh no he might be trying to kill you, Harry, aaaaaa--and something about Bertha Jorkins being near Voldemort's last location. Meh. Who cares. Somebody has been trying to kill Harry in every book thus far. This isn't a new development, sweetie.
We been done know this, okay? Come on.
This is a stilted, unnatural conversation between Harry and Sirius. It's not realistic. It's not normal. Telling Harry about the Karkaroff's past is boring and does nothing for him. One line, maybe two, for Sirius to say, "Hey, keep an eye out for Karkaroff. He's an old Death Eater." Done. End of Karkaroff information. And cut Bertha Jorkins out altogether. I'm sorry, but why the hell are we talking about a dead woman to a 14 year old kid whose biggest problem at the moment is dealing with a jealous friend, school ostracization, and a giant fire breathing lizard???
These points are important to the plot, but they're not important to Harry.
The plot isn't important. No, it's not.
Harry is the POV character.
Harry is the single most important aspect in every scene and should be treated as such.
The plot should weave around Harry, slowly revealing itself to both Harry and the reader. Harry should not be the weaver of the plot. He should not be used in plot devices.
Do you know what part of the conversation was summarized in the prose between Harry and Sirius in a single paragraph versus the three pages about Karkaroff?
Harry talking about how no one believes him about not putting his name in the Goblet of Fire. About the school hating him. About Ron, about his betrayal and his jealousy. About Rita Skeeter. About seeing the dragons as the first task. These are all important to Harry. These all are causing pain to Harry's heart right now. Somebody give this child a hug, please.
We missed out on exploring Harry's feelings here. The author skips the MOST important part of the conversation, what could've been a deeply emotional, either positive or negative, conversation between Harry and Sirius.
Oh, this scene could've been so good. It could've been amazing. There are so many paths that could've been explored here, too.
We could've had a callous Sirius, who doesn't notice Harry's state of being, and just goes on and on about nothing of importance where Harry clams up. Or we've could've had a comforting Sirius, who attempts to give Harry some actual advice about his friendship with Ron. We could've seen Harry opening up in his body language, connecting with this parental figure in his life. We could've heard a story of Sirius' time as a kid at school with Harry's father and the marauders.
We were robbed of an important moment between Harry and Sirius.
Instead, the author puts the focus on the red herring 'foreshadowing' of Karkaroff. What a waste. She's trying to put suspicion on him, rather than Moody/Barty Crouch Jr., the real Death Eater in disguise. Again, who cares. It's not about them. It's about Harry and how his experiences are affecting him. It's about how he reacts to them.
This scene is a waste of time and paper. It's empty of emotion and movement/flow. It's just there for a set up and it's glaringly obvious during a second read of the book.
When I say, "The writing is bloated and underwritten at the same time." this is what I mean. We're focusing on the wrong things here.
Fifth point. JKR breaks the POV character with the following line:
"--and reading between the lines of that Skeeter woman's article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started at Hogwarts. Yes, I know she says it was another false alarm," Sirius said hastily, seeing Harry about to speak, "but...
Harry is the POV character. Sirius 'seeing Harry about to speak' should NOT be occurring in the prose whatsoever. To fix this with the bare minimum of effort for this poorly written dialogue line:
"--and reading between the lines of that Skeeter woman's article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started at Hogwarts--" Harry opened his mouth to interject, but Sirius said hastily, "Yes, I know she says it was another false alarm, but..."
I wouldn't write these lines like this, by the way. I just don't want to rewrite this. It's a poor paragraph overall, but this is an example of returning the POV back to Harry. Sirius isn't 'seeing' anything anymore. Harry is doing an action and Sirius reacts to his action.
Breaking POV is a rule that can be occasionally broken, but should be done so with intent and purpose. I'm pretty confident when I say that JKR probably had no idea that this was a mistake on her part in the prose.
All right then.
We have come to an end of Part One in this series. We have dissected a single page and a single scene in JKR's Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The page in question is 333 should you wish to look it up and study the scene yourself.
More to follow because I have lots of pages to go over. This will definitely be series, ah dear.
And so, please do the world the greatest of favors and write better than J.K. Rowling. I promise, it's not that hard once you see the differences.
Until next time.
Isa
#harry potter#hp#fanfiction#fanfic#hp fanfic#hp fanfiction#harry potter discourse#harry potter books#jk rowling#fuck jkr#anti jkr#jk rowling is a terrible writer series by isalise#on writing#writing#writers#writer#authors#author#writing advice#writing stuff#becoming better at writing#writer stuff#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#creative writing#JKR's Terrible Amateur Writing Series
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I just wrote a banger of a fanfic!!
Why would anyone ever want AI to do that for you? It's literally so much fun!!
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Meta & Flint, the freaks who named their daughter Oblivion.
Don't let their looks fool you, they are actually good parents. (Maybe "okay" parents, they did let Liv run away with her boyfriend they never met and his band at 15. (But she was responsible and called them to explain her decision and that she already talked with the school and will be taking special exams at the end of every semester, so it's all good lmao.))
In my AU the Techno/Rock Trolls are the largest population of mixed trolls. They live concentrated along the shore between the Rock and Techno Kingdoms and also extending north into the no-man's-land on the map. This whole area is simply referred to as "the Shallows". They have their own communities and villages there which are located partially on land or exposed reefs/rocks and partially in the water.
Liv grew up in one of those villages. Her parents own a small apartment carved into a cliff side above the ocean. Personally they prefer walking over floating/swimming, and they can't stay in the sun for too long either (they all inherited sun sensitive skin from their Techno sides) so this way they're mostly on land and also aren't in direct sunlight after noon.
It's a modest home but I imagine they must have the prettiest sunrises.
Despite the Shallows having their own communities they still belong under the Rock Kingdom which doesn't really care about them or their different needs much, so a lot of the trolls living there are very anti authority.
#me taking advantage of my baby level knowledge of german lmao#but i always liked the idea of liv having a vague european accent#so i've decided to give her dad an british 'england' accent and her mom a german accent/make her german speaking#trolls#dreamworks trolls#my art#ex bandmates#trolls oc#liv#flint#baby liv thought her goblin spawn of a dad is the prettiest troll in the world kjsbdhbfh#meta#the parents and a lot of trolls there are very anti authority. they're technically living in part of the rock kingdom and are expected to#be like regular citizens when it comes to stuff like paying taxes etc. but no money actually makes it back into their communities...#Flint's genre is Electropunk#and Meta's genre is Industrial Metal#Liv is more Industrial Metal but there's definitely some Punk vibes in her style#this started as just me designing her parents and it's turned into a whole info dump
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God forbid you ever criticize the lack of consequences Bakugou experiences in MHA, or suddenly youâll find dozens of Bakugou stans pouring into your mentions to make a speech about how cruel you are for forcing him to eat cement. Theyâll act as though âconsequencesâ inherently involves throwing him into the dungeon or putting him in detention for 100 years and then moan about how him facing consequences would only perpetuate a cycle of abuse/discrimination.
Listen, itâs not really that much of a consequence if the âconsequenceâ in question isnât directly connected to his current or past bad behaviour. âOh but his scars!â âWhen he died that one time!â âHis guilt for getting kidnappedâ None of those are related to his bullying, and in my opinion, that makes them insufficient as consequences in an arc about changing for the better.
The consequences I would actually like to see could be as simple as: Izuku feels sad/mad because of what he went through, or certain characters reflect on how Bakugouâs past impacts their perception of him. More introspection on the victimâs end is needed, Bakugou doesnât necessarily need to be pilloried for the arc to be satisfying.
#No#listing off every bad thing that has ever happened to Bakugou doesnât prove that he faced consequences for being a bully#What these types truly want is the most digestible redemption arc they can possible imagine. Where the bully character is let off the hook#in every way while the victimâs side of the story is overshadowed by the narrative focusing so much on the bullyâs side#Also donât you dare try to *But Izuku doesnât hold a grudge!!! why do you want him to pray on Bakuchanâs downfall?#me.#Izuku isnât a real person and his feelings on the matter are dictated by an author who clearly prioritizes Bakugouâs emotional development#and introspective over Izukuâs (who is reduced to the awful position of constantly approaching his for#bully with: *Youâre doing great sweetie!* as opposed to actually reflecting on how the bullying affected him for the worse#anti bakugou#anti bakugo katsuki#anti horikoshi#anti bakudeku#mha critical#mha fandom critical#fandom discourse#MHA salt#anti mha fandom#my hero academia
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The way I've seen people say shit like "well he's entitled to his Headcanon I guess." As they're talking about GrrM as he talks about HIS STORY! Like it's not a Headcanon my guy, it's the author telling you the facts. You don't need to like it, but that doesn't change the facts.
#hotd#house of the dragon#i stand with grrm#grrm blog post said it all#pro grrm#grrm#team green#pro team green#hotd critical#fuck sara hess#fuck ryan condal#anti team black#like seriously#your gonna take the word of the show runners over the author?#over not likeing what he said for HIS story?
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