#anti gaslighting

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Am I the only one who really HATES that Barbie movie? It LITERALLY NORMALISES BULLYING, EMOTION ABUSE AND GASLIGHTING

I know it’s probably more trouble than what is it worth but I am losing my mind keeping it in. As someone who had been bullied, abused and gaslighted multiple times I am shocked to see how everyone seems totally ok with this movie. Even like it! I mean Sasha’s ENTIRE character LITERALLY just normalises bullying, gaslighting and toxic abusive behaviour!

Just a heads up. I am going to get into some serious shit here. So trigger warning for I will be mentioning more abuse…although again the Barbie movie literally normalises that. But I am here to talk about the real dangers that behaviour can cause, such as depression, self harm and even suicide.

I was really upset watching that godawful scene where the group of girls decided to chew out Barbie like that. I am so SICK of people saying “Oh that’s just teen angst”. NO it is abusive behaviour and it doesn’t matter if it’s a kid or not! If a kid is harassing someone you HAVE to confront them about it or else someone will get REALLY REALLY HURT! They will never learn and continue to hurt others like that as well! This is coming from someone who had to endure this type of behaviour and got into some serious self harm habits. Many kids at school have ACTUALLY committed suicide because of girls like Sasha and her friends! DO NOT ACT LIKE IT IS A NORMAL THING!

I felt so angry at Sasha at that time and I still am but what sickens me is how she gets away with it. I thought it may be introduced as an obstacle to show how HARD it is on people who are the victim. For example, Wreck it Ralph does a good job at showing how hard it is and how that behaviour can effect others and why said behaviour is BAD. While Wreck it Ralph is hard for me to watch when I feel vulnerable other times it makes me feel stronger as it shows I am not alone. I figured it was taking that sort of direction, to show how it is hard but it happens. As a small way to show awareness.

Barbie bounces back and literally forgets it ever happened and Sasha was just a horrible person all the way through and she NEVER apologised. She got away with it as if it was NORMAL and OK! She was even portrayed as one of the heroines of the story! With NO growth or apology or ANYTHING! You see where I am going with this?

I actually ended up crying and having a serious meltdown after the movie because of that. My mother also agrees with me and says she couldn’t stand Sasha and how she reminded her of the girls who used to bully me and torture me like that. I don’t know how the directors didn’t even THINK about how awful that would look! I am surprised that no one in the making of the movie even thought “wait a minute…”. Also this is just going to show kids that it’s normal to do that. NO! It is bad! If your kid treats someone like that you have to talk to them and tell them how harmful that behaviour is!

Am I literally the only one who sees this problem???

Oh and I should also mention how Sasha and her friends thought Barbie was a crazy person who had mental issues. They literally thought she was mentally disabled and decided it would be hilarious to harass her! Like WTF?!!!! HOW IS THIS OK?!!!!

[gordiita]

wow almost seems like this whole romanticization of "girlhood" thing kind of revolves entirely around consumerisim. "little treats". 10 step skincare regimens. "girl math" as an excuse to be financially illiterate. be a good girl, don't think, just spend inordinate amts of money to conform to the latest tiktok microtrend bc that's all it means to be a girl <3

[azural83]

I watched arcane for the sisters,their relationship was the heart of the show to me. I was beyond excited to see what would happen to them in season 2, and what did I get?

Vi fucking caitlyn despite jinx clearly being suicidal and jinx giving her blessing to caitvi

[lo-shouldve-been-an-email]

Look,I know both hades and lore Olympus are inaccurate,but at least hades is funny with it.

Gaslighting Orpheus into making an entire song about zag,then zag realizing he took it too far but Orpheus being too convinced Zagreus did all this stuff is hilarious.

It’s even funnier when you take into account that Persephone lies about underworld pomegranates so he got that from his mother.

Then we have lore Olympus,who does not make an effort to reference the original myths and instead rebrands itself as a new version of the original myth,the only interesting reference being dio.

[lecoindecachou]

Breaking news, Melanie Martinez fans continue to be pure fucking evil.

[flower-boi16]

Daily reminder that Blitzo and Stolas' mistakes are not equal to each other and should not be treated as such.

Stolas was coercing and r@ping Blitzo for his own sexual pleasure, and frequently makes sexual advances to Blitz even when Blitz makes it clear to him that he's uncomfortable with it.

Blitz, meanwhile, only manipulated Stolas three times one of which was when he was a CHILD who was forced to do what his father wanted him to and had a strong disliking of Stolas because of how Stolas treated him...which he is not in the wrong for in the slightest.

This is not a mutually toxic relationship, it's a victim and abuser relationship. An SA victim is never just as bad as their abuser.

And the fandom still denies it to this day.

[justaz]

like i’ve said time and time again, i haven’t watched bbc merlin in years but i was just wondering when the first time merlin called arthur by his name to his face and im scrolling thru the transcripts on the fandom wiki (supposedly it was s1ep4 btw) and im skimming the script for all these episodes and getting angrier and angrier. gaius was wrong for all that. morgana deserved so much better. edwin muirden was valid as hell (for targeting uther AND gaius. yeah. i said it.). also kilgharrah ate with that one lil line “then turn a blind eye. that is, after all, your talent” okay lizard brain pop offff.

[danyseastar]

this is an INCREDIBLY disingenuous take, which doesn’t shock me in the slightest despite season two utterly destroying the fanon perception of alicent many have made up in their minds.

rhaenyra did not want to marry laenor, book or show. it is a direct consequence of viserys’ inability to be anything other than a complacent door mat, and daemon attempting to sully rhaenyra’s reputation in the hopes that viserys will marry her to him. the only husband she chooses is daemon.

the show did her far less justice in that it created a storyline of rhaenyra being given a ‘choice’ or at the very least the ‘illusion of choice’ before being forced to marry. the situation leading up to it is roughly the same minus that aspect is the book. i have no doubt in my mind that viserys would have concocted some scheme to bring the velaryon’s back into the fold regardless of rhaenyra’s reputation being put into question, but i digress. i’m not here to talk about hypotheticals.

rhaenyra has no intentions of not ‘doing her duty’ or ‘not sacrificing herself enough’ in this endeavor. this person is purposely misleading with their usage of only part of the quote (the one that fits the narrative they want to push). below is the dialogue for the scene this person is talking about:

the conversation, as this person so eloquently put, is not about rhaenyra wanting to ‘fuck whoever she pleases.’ it’s two teenagers put into a predicament they don’t want to be in; one because she both does not want to marry and wishes to find love with someone else, and the other a closeted gay man with no interest in women. the full quote is, “that we perform our DUTIES to our fathers, then each of us dines as we see fit.” rhaenyra had no initial interest in not having trueborn children with her husband. this is further proven with the season one episode seven line, “i had hoped to bear your [laenor’s] children.”

another point i’d like to make is WHY exactly is it seen as such a character flaw to not want to be looked down upon, or taken advantage of? to want freedom and flights of fancy and the ability to be happy? a certain someone DID her duty, and she wasn’t happy. she SACRIFICED everything, and she still wasn’t happy. she ultimately decides to gift her sons on a silver platter to the enemy in her pursuit of protecting her daughter and granddaughter; after a conversation where she admits that she was jealous of rhaenyra, for finding that happiness she herself was unable to grasp. this is not a moral failing on rhaenyra’s part. i don’t care what the in world ethics are of any given situation, i’m not going to sit back and look at a system meant to hurt women and root for it, whether my favorite character supports it or not. whether i deem it the ‘safest’ option (it isn’t) for my favorites lives to continue. how is anyone meant to break the wheel if they continuously allow themselves to be stepped on, or god forbid uphold it for their own personal gain?

‘i’m supposed to root* for her?’ you don’t have to root for her. you’re not obliged to. you’re not going to be burned at the stake. you’re not special for siding with overt female subjugation because the only women you deem to deserve better are those who perform their duties unwillingly and sacrifice their bodies and minds in the process. those who don’t fit into mold of the patriarchy be damned, the imperfect victims that they are, the ‘bad’ women of society.

[westcoastdeluxe]

you’re my little sparkle jump rope queen

[adorawasright]

i think adora deserved to hear more often that she was right.

glimmer at the very least told her that when they reunited in s5. but i wish i heard scorpia directly say to adora she was right. and i ESPECIALLY wish CATRA fucking told adora she was right instead of just holding onto her pride.

adora was often gaslighted (especially by catra) in the series and i feel like she was never rlly apologized to as much as she should've been.

[fadedfrills699]

RADFEMS AND RADFEM CURIOUS GIRLBLOGGERS I PRESENT TO YOU MY ULTIMATE ANTI- PORN READING LIST

- I provided summaries, repost with your thoughts…add your own recommendations!! 🩷🩷

“Pornography and power in Michel Foucalt’s thought” by Bohdana Kurylo (2017)

Looks at foucauldian perspectives and foucault's concept of biopower and that of his critique of the repressive hypothesis

Also focuses on the power dynamics of pornography and its discourse and representation as Foucault's ideas regarding the production of knowledge and regulation of bodies is applied to this form of thinking

"The Sexual Liberals and the Attack on Feminism" edited by Dorchen Leidholdt and Janice G. Raymond (1990)

Critique of postmodern sexual liberalism which is in defence of prostitution and pornography, collection of essays (some are not of relevance), mainly regarding the cultural exploitation of women by proxy of pornography

“Sexualisation of young people review” by Linda Papadopoulos (2010)

Looks at the direct effects of pornography on cultural conditioning from a empirical psychology viewpoint

“Pornography consumption and cognitive affective distress” by Michal Privara (2023)

Discusses internet pornography, emphasising the significant long term effects of porn on both individuals and societal perceptions of gender roles and sexuality

“Feminist critique of the feminist critique of pornography, a essay” by Nadine Strossen (1993)

Point of critique - opposing view perchance>

Strossen discusses how the anti-porn stance is counterproductive and desires a more nuanced view which recognises womens various responses to such frameworks, ew.

“Pornography and rape: a casual model” by Diana Russel (1988)

Relationship between porn consumption and rape, contribution of cultural conditioning of men ergo that of women by proxy, discusses the normalisation of sex based violence, objectification and dehumanization, reinforcement of patriarchal gender norms through identities being subsumed and subservient in conventional pornographic representations

Also discusses the rape myth acceptance (RMA) which is the acceptance of false beliefs, stereotypes, and statements regarding rape (so antiquated and ew)- interesting to look at the illinois rape myth acceptance scale, and also the REAL scale which is the Rape Excusing Attitudes and Language Scale

“Internet pornography: a social psychological perspective on internet sexuality” by William Fisher and Azy Barak (2001)

Examines the accessibility and anonymity of online porn and how this contributes to widespread use and its impact on individuals alongside within the broader context of society

Psychological effects and also the potential desensitisation and normalisation of certain sexual behaviours and attitudes

“Sexuality, pornography, and method: ‘pleasure under patriarchy’” by Catherine MacKinnon (1989)

Intersection of sexuality and pornography, discusses porns potentiality to shape societal attitudes towards sex and power, influencing both the sexes in their perceptions of sexuality and a way in which upholds oppressive societal frameworks…

“A dyadic approach to pornography use and relationship satisfaction among heterosexual couples: role of pornography acceptance and anxious attachment” by Megan Mass, Sara Vasilenko, and Brian Willoughby (2018)

BIT RANDOM _ NOT DIRECTLY RELATED

Looks at how higher pornography acceptance is associated with greater relationship satisfaction, while higher anxious attachment was linked to lower satisfaction, looking at both individual and partner use of pornography

“Against proper objects” by Judith Butler (1993)

Draws from her seminal work. Gender trouble, and gender performativity, also looks at political implications

Grounded in philosophy as well, looking at phenomenology and poststructuralism

“Pornography as a biopolitical phenomenon” by Aura-Elena Schussler (2016)

Discusses how pornography functions as a foucauldian biopolitical phenomenon, how such power and knowledge intersects to control bodies, porn existing in this framework to produce sexual subjectivities

Looks at discussions on discipline, surveillance, and normalisation of sexual behaviours

Would also like to recommend the movie “not a love story: a film about pornography” - really cute if not yet watched, by Bonnie Klein in 1981

[1dramaprincess]

"I'm a misandrist, I'm a femcel, I'm a Female Manipulator! 💖💖 #gaslight gatekeep girlboss"

What you are is an idiot and a shitty person, which is never a cute look. And stop using artists like Lana, Mars, and Nicole as your mascots, that is not what their art is about. Go use some pop or hip-hop singer/rapper who pushes that crap. You sound like a damn clown, and you make the rest of us look as toxic and stupid as you are.

[mintybloomz]

who’s Lezah family in your fairy bound AU?

The Anti-Cosmas of course! Lezah, all alone after escaping with the certificate, was found by Anti-Cosmo who swiftly adopted her and brought her home. He enrolled her in spellementary, helped her come up with her lie, and the rest is history! Fairy Bound AU: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

here's the thing: if the writers wanted to show catra being defensive or avoidant about the portal reality, they could have done so without making her gaslight adora.

i mean, it's bad enough that catra doesn't want to take responsibility for her actions but they just made it worse by making her gaslight adora. there was no reason for catra to try and convince adora that she was imagining things or going crazy. that's just a whole another level of abusive.

if catra just pretended to not be aware that the portal reality was fake, sure it would still be shitty, but i would have been able to sympathize with her a bit more. i would have at least half-accepted the idea that she just wanted to believe that things were going well even when they weren't.

but by gaslighting adora, catra crosses a huge boundary and suddenly, it all seems more intentional than ever. and we're supposed to believe that this was when catra was emotionally unstable. i don't buy it. she was so calm and intentional in her actions, i refuse to believe that this was all some "lashing out in a moment of hurt".

[gwandas]

something that makes me giggle is when IC stans pretend they aren’t butthurt over Nesta being the star of the crossover… do the girlies know we all saw the tweets and theories people made in the past year

[angelskisser]

me and my antipsychotics against the world