#angsty marauders

[wartsandwarlocks]

El día que perdí mi juventud.

[the day I lost my youth]

For her birthday she decided they would go back to her parents house. She hadn’t been there since her mother’s funeral two years back, where she’d taken all her things to her own house. As a twenty year old, this depressed her terribly.

The road was longer than expected, although it might have been the unbeatable dread she couldn’t avoid. James was helpful enough, he’d sing the stupidest songs and make the dumbest jokes he could think of only to make her force her smile.

Petunia and Vernon were nice enough not to bother them too much, only casual pleasantries and small talk. This also depressed her, losing her sister had been a rough stone in her road, and this was only making it bigger. Petunia showed her the changes they’d made with a fake smile on her face, one which she mirrored. She hated them. The house was perfect before, why’d they change it? She also showed her the room they previously shared, the one where she and James would sleep in. It looked exactly the same, completely taken over by her sister, as if she’d never even been there. It was terrible, and was somehow worsened by James’s comments on how nice it was. He used to love her house, he loved her pictures and her parents plants all over, how could he also love this one? How could he not see these changes and resent Petunia for them?

At Five o’clock they had tea. Vernon bragged about his comfortable job and mentioned they were trying for a child. They wanted to turn her room into a nursery, but didn’t want to get ahead of themselves. Petunia came and went from the kitchen, trying to impress them with her hostess skills. James laughed at the stupid jokes Vernon made and reserved his comments, intent on proving how amazing he was. Lily also “listened”, she laughed when James laughed, smiled when she remembered and sipped the tea when she wanted to cry.

After some time, she excused herself and went to cry in the bathroom. Then the hallway and finally, in her old room. She smelled the pillows for some sense of familiarity, but even that was gone.

When James found her, he took her for a walk. She reminisced her old life, took him to the Snape household, the park, her dad’s old job, and finally the school. She stood before it and smiled. James kissed her cheek ever so softly and put his arm around her. Had she always been crying? Would she ever stop?

“I don’t get it.” She sobbed. “When did it all become so difficult? Why can’t we be like them and live a normal quiet life, where we celebrate having a boring job instead of surviving? How can my life be so different from hers if we’re sisters?”

James comforted her quietly, caressing her back and kissing her hair.

“Why do we have to be surrounded by such tragedy when we could just- be good? Why do we have to suffer through a war? Why us?” She weeped.

“I know darling, I know.”

“I try and keep my spirits up, but its so hard waking up thinking which one of my friends is going to die next! I always knew it was a possibility, but I never believed it could be us! And then, oh then-“ She bawled and bawled.

For a second she thought James was crying too, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to take it if he was, so she just cried into his chest.

“James, there’s another reason why I wanted to come back here.” She said breaking away from him and seeing his face completely dry. “I’m pregnant.”

He scanned her face in amusement and chuckled until he was laughing. “What?”

“I am. I went to the doctors a week ago, I’m pregnant.”

“Lily! This is amazing!” He jumped before hugging her and making her spin around.

“No it isn’t! James, we’re in the middle of a war! How can we have a child during this! I won’t be able to fight, and what if it doesn’t end?”

“Oh darling, how can we not? We are going to be the happiest people who’ve ever fought in a magical war ever! Imagine flying around with a child! Imagine dinner without the dread! Oh Evans! This is the best news ever!” He smiled. “And if it doesn’t end, I’ll end it myself before Harry turns three I promise.”

“You promise?”

“I do.” He said kissing her softly. “Wanna head back?”

“Not really. I kinda want to leave.” She smiled sadly.

“Let’s leave then, make a little brother, yeah?” he smiled.

“James! That’s not how it works!”

James sprinted down the road and back screaming: “Who cares? I’m gonna be a dad!”

[http-wolfstar]

Sirius in all his different flavours <3

[evyltalks]

Would you prefer slutty wolfstar or slutty wolfstar with angsty undertone ?

[bleeding-ambrosia]

he did in fact sleep there all night..

[ginevrapng]

imagine spending months flirting with remus and he reciprocates but there is a slight age gap, not big enough for you to even think about or other people to think about but he overthinks it and worries he's too old for you, that you're 'wasting your youth' and you should be 'spending time with people your own age'. obviously you think it's rubbish but the thing about remus is he can be hypocritical, he says all this stuff but flirts with you anyway, it's very confusing.

one day he just snaps at you, you've been spending the night at 12 grimmauld place and everyone else has gone to bed, it's just you two and you flirt a bit, no more than usual and that's what shocks you so much at his outburst. "I'm not your boyfriend," he says coldly, in a tone that you've never heard him use directed at you before.

a shiver runs down your spine and you feel like all the warmth leave your body, you hated the way he just talked to you, dismissed you like that. after a moments silence you reply to him quietly, "i never thought you were."

"i never said it was your mistake," he mumbles back softer than before. he gets up from his chair and leaves the room without saying another word.

[kitsmittens]

What if instead of seeing himself werewolf-free in the Mirror of Erised, Remus would see himself with Sirius with all his scars.

Remus always wanted to be normal, to get rid of his scars and have someone who could love him and who he could love without putting them in danger.

But deeper than that he wanted someone who would love him as he was. Who would see him with his lycanthropy and have it not change a thing.

[rockonfreakybro69]

Today will be the last day that I exist in a year that they loved me.

[t1oui]

“i’m going to marry you someday,” james says, running his fingers through regulus’s curls. regulus smiles, his ear pressed to james’s heart.

“yeah?” he asks. “when?”

“as soon as you graduate.” james’s heartbeat stays steady, like this is a regular conversation on a regular night.

“yeah?” regulus asks, glancing up, meeting james’s eyes. his eyes are gray like a storm, and they’re so, so beautiful. “how?”

james smiles. “in the fields behind my parents’ house,” he says. “in summer. we’ll have everybody there — sirius and moony and peter and the girls, and all your friends, too. it’ll be perfect.”

regulus settles his head on james’s chest again. “you have this all planned out, don’t you?” he asks. james stares up at the sky, searching and finally locating regulus’s star. his star.

“of course i do,” he says. i love you, he almost says, but he leaves that for another night.

~

“i’m going to marry you someday,” james says, pulling regulus closer. his laugh lights up james’s world.

“tell me about it,” regulus says, intertwining their fingers.

“we’ll dance like this,” james says, placing his hand on regulus’s waist. “all night. with everybody, all our friends. and we won’t get tired.”

regulus laughs again. his eyes are closed, and he’s pressed his cheek to james’s chest. “how will we manage that?” he asks.

james thinks for a moment, still swaying them back and forth across the floor of the astronomy tower. he’s never been good at multitasking.

“potions,” james decides. “and firewhiskey, probably.”

“mm,” regulus hums. “i won’t drink any.”

“no?”

“no.” he pulls back, opening his eyes, and smiles up at james, gray eyes twinkling. “i want to remember every second of it.”

~

“i’m going to marry you someday,” james whispers, trying to ignore the way his voice cracks. “and then i’ll get you out of here.”

regulus gives him a weak smile and scoots closer, turning around and pressing his back to james’s chest.

“tell me where we’ll go,” he says quietly. “when we run away.”

james swallows thickly, glances down at the mark on regulus’s forearm.

“away,” he says. “where they can’t hurt us.”

where i’m free, he doesn’t say, from you.

~

“i wish i was a coward,” james says, his eyes fixed on the sky. on that star — not his, after all. he looks away, but it doesn’t matter. tears cloud his vision. “i wish i didn’t have to run away from you.”

there’s no response. he’s not surprised. there’s nothing for the headstone to say anyway. james bites back a sob, wiping the tears away just in time for more to appear.

“i wish i didn’t have to run away,” he says, setting the ring down in the grass, “but i’m not sorry i left.”

[mentallyillastrophelfreak]

But, like, can we imagine an au where regulus is a serial killer, and everytime he kills someone, he always plays army dreamers with his own vinyl record because that's the same song that played when sirius died from murder (right in front of his eyes but he got spared)?? then james becomes his next target because he reminds him too much of sirius but before james lets regulus kills him (he's become suicidal and depressed from Sirius' death), he asks for a one last dance.

[emlovessid]

@wolfstarmicrofic may 8, not a date, 131 words

Remus is his best friend, has been since they were kids, which is decidedly why this is not a date.

It’s not a date when lunch turns into dinner which turns into drinks.

It’s not a date when they’re dancing in the glow of a streetlight, a little tipsy, their laughter filling the empty street.

It’s not a date when they make it back to Remus’ flat and stumble through the door, hands fumbling with buttons and wrestling with zippers.

It’s not a date when they’re panting into each other’s mouths, hands pressed into the mattress below them.

It’s not a date when they fall asleep in each other’s arms, legs tangled together beneath the sheets, heads sharing the same pillow.

It’s not a date, but god Sirius wishes it was.

[starkayezer]

Give me Remus Lupin who feels left out. Give me Remus Lupin who thinks he's never good enough to be in the loop. Give me Remus Lupin who feels shit about himself and wonders what he did wrong when someone keeps a secret from him that they won't tell him. Give me insecure Remus Lupin. Give me Remus Lupin who was raised by a distant father and a mother who loved him, but he felt like it was never more than she loved his father. Give me Remus Lupin who feels like he's always second, if not third or fourth. Give me Remus Lupin who can't handle people genuinely loving him because he feels like he's not worthy. Give me sad Remus Lupin. Give me Remus Lupin who got into bad relationships because he can't tell genuine love from a mask of love that someone puts up. Give me Remus Lupin who stayed in those bad relationships because he thought that's what he deserved. Give me mistreated Remus Lupin, even if the mistreatment comes from himself. Give me Remus Lupin.

[wartsandwarlocks]

Ringing.

The phone rang for the third time that day. Remus thought about just letting it ring forever, unsure if the comfort of knowing someone on the other side waiting and insisting on him was good enough to never pick up. He knew who it was. He knew why the phone rang so much. But he didn’t want to. If only he could have never known anything, just sweet obliviousness forever.

“Remus!” The other side of the phone said sweetly. “I’ve been ringing forever, where have you been?”

“Oh, uhh… busy, sorry Mary.” Remus apologized quickly “so, how’s everything?”

“Well that’s what I want to know! What are you up to these days Lupin? I feel like it’s been forever since we last spoke.”

It had been almost three months. 87 days to be exact. Not that Remus was counting.

“Not much, got a job at a bar ‘round the block.” He said very monotonously “how ‘bout you? Any good news from Perú?”

“Actually,” she said cheery, Remus could tell she was probably smiling. “I met someone, that’s why I’ve been so spacey with the calls and all, but I’m getting married!”

“Oh fuck Mary! That’s grand! Congratulations!” Remus smiled “when’s the wedding? who’s the chap? how long you’ve been together?”

“It’s in September, he’s a friend of my brother’s from Argentina called Fernando and it’s been almost a year, I’m pretty sure we’ve talked about him before…”

“Shit, yeah, the exiled lawyer right?” Remus inquired.

“That’s the one! Well, democracy’s back in so we’re getting married in Argentina, September 28th. You should come!” Mary squealed.

“Uh, sure, yeah, why not?” Remus laughed “I mean I’ll have to save a tad but i’ll be there, promise.”

“Thanks Moony.”

Oh. Oh no. Remus began to feel it again. The sadness, the guilt, the loneliness, it had taken so little and yet he was feeling so much. He suddenly remembered why he thought she would have been calling in the first place. It was his birthday.

October 3rd.

Shit.

“Remus? You still there?” Mary worried

“huh? Oh…uh… yeah, right here.” Remus tried composing himself “I’m incredibly happy for you Mary and as always I loved talking to you but I think I’m getting another call and I think I should take it. Sorry. Love ya. Bye.”

“By-“ Mary was cutoff by the sound of the phone hitting the wall.

After a while, the phone began to ring again, only this time, he was decided on letting it ring forever.

[read-reblog-repeat]

Remus fucking Sirius from behind and moaning Reg‘s name.

Sirius is heart broken but knows this is the only way he would ever be able to be with Remus.

Regulus watches their relationship from afar, crushed that once again Sirius was chosen instead of him.

[sweeterelease]

post war james meeting regulus for the first time in years. regulus who looks just like he remembers but also not at all. james looks at regulus and sees the same soft locks, although longer. the same strong shoulders, but tenser. the same beautiful eyes, even if they're tired now. the same gorgeous face, older.

though there's something missing, isn't it? james looks at regulus and doesn't see the stars. his freckles are there, but lesser. he's lost his spots, not all but many, and even though james has gone time without them, here —right now— he can't phantom how much me misses them.

[crimsonlovebartylus]

don't imagine Barty on his knees begging and sobbing to kreacher to find out where Regulus is, and if hes alive and to take him with because no world is sane without his Regulus.

but Regulus last dying wish was, "don't let barty die because of me." so Kreacher just apparates away, leaving a curl up Barty in Regulus bed as he cries and feels a little of sanity slip away.

[toujoursrab]

Prompt: Heels (@into-the-jeggyverse) | Pairing: Jegulus | Word Count: 862

The sound of Regulus’ feet hitting the ground echoed throughout the castle as he ran down the seventh floor corridor. James was hot on his heels, calling out his name as he tried to catch up. It was almost embarrassing how fast James was in comparison to Regulus. As he ran, Regulus reminded himself that he should probably take a few extra laps around the pitch and work on his speed and stamina. He was already out of breath by time James caught up, grabbing him by the forearm and turning him around.

“Reg, let me..” James caught his breath. “Explain. Please.”

As Regulus tried to steady his own breathing, he shook his head. “There’s nothing to explain, Potter.” He took a step back from James, releasing his arm from his grip.

“You saw my mark and you freaked out. I should’ve told you about it but I was terrified you would act this way, especially when it first appeared.” On their seventeenth birthday wixen received soulmarks on their skin. The marks appeared in a random place, but always had something to do with your soulmate. Last year on James’ birthday his appeared right underneath his collarbone. The Leo constellation. Today, a month before Regulus’ seventeenth birthday, the Slytherin had accidentally seen it when James shirt lowered a little bit too far.

“James Potter, terrified of me?” Regulus scoffed and took another step back. “Don’t manipulate the situation any more than you already have. You had no interest in me before. You got your mark and all of a sudden you were everywhere. I asked if you had an ulterior motive and you said no! I trusted you… I mean not at first but.. after awhile, I trusted you.”

“Don’t misinterpret the situation any more than you already have.” James rebutted; his voice was less harsh than Regulus’. He was patient and understanding, even when Regulus didn’t want him to be. “I know how this seems, Reg, I’m sorry. I got the mark, and I knew immediately it had to be you. I watched you for awhile and when I thought it would be okay, I tried to become your friend. You’re my soulmate. I wanted to get to know you but I couldn’t tell you that. You hated me. You blamed me for Sirius leaving, and your family—” James didn’t need to continue that thought, they both knew what he meant by it. The Blacks didn’t believe in soulmates and once they were of age, they broke their soulmate bonds. In recent times, the only Blacks who haven’t broken their bonds were Andromeda and Sirius, and both were disowned. “I know that you’ll break the bond once you get your mark. I wanted to experience what its like having my soulmate close to me because our time is limited.”

Soulmates was a popular conversation topic at Hogwarts, but Regulus and James had never had that discussion. They both knew where each other stood. Once Regulus got his mark, he would begin the process of breaking the bond, and James—James was a hopeless romantic who believed wholeheartedly in soulmates. He made it known over the years, especially when he thought he found his soulmate and made overdramatic displays of affection trying to woo them. Regulus thanked Merlin he had never been on the end of James Potters public display of attraction.

Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat and took another step back. His eyes found James’, he went from being upset at James to being upset at the situation. He knew the Gryffindor was right. If James had told Regulus outright, they wouldn’t have gotten close over the last year. They weren’t best friends forever by any means, but they were close. Regulus trusted James, and that was saying a lot. Regulus would’ve hated him more and avoided him like the plague if he had known about the mark.  “Was it what you imagined?”

“The only thing that could’ve made it better was a snog.” James tried to joke with a laugh, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m breaking the bond.” James winced. He had been expecting it, but hearing it made it real. It hurt worse. “But we still have time until my birthday. We can make the most of it.”

There was an unmistakable look of hope on James’ face as his eyes lit up. “You’ll let me take you to Hogsmeade? And hold your hand as we walk through the village? And snog in The Three Broomsticks?” And so begins ‘James Potter’s 10 Step Plan to Get his Soulmate to Fall in Love and Not Break Their Bond’. The title needed some work, but James was up for the challenge.  

“Don’t push it.” Regulus murmured as he took the first step forward. “We will go to the Three Broomsticks. You will buy me a butterbeer and we can share a table for fifteen minutes maximum. If anyone asks you sat across from me because you thought I was Sirius.”

James was quick to agree, taking what he could get in the moment, although he knew he wouldn’t stick to that plan come Saturday. “Deal.”