#andrew trusting neil to protect aaron when andrew is not around SO GOOD | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aftgficrec · 3 years ago

Note

Any fics about andrew and the foxes their relationships thank you have a good day

I’ve got canon-setting recs for you and a mix of that and AUs in previous recs. -A

from previous recs:

kandreil as childhood friends here

Matt & Andrew/Allison & Andrew here

BFFs Andrew & Renee here

Andrew loving toward Kevin here

foxes defending Andrew here

the monsters as family/friends here

upperclassmen bashing here

‘“Calm down. I look a lot worse than I am.”’ here

‘Surreal But Nice’ here

‘Insincerely, M. Andrew’ and ‘N for nebulous’ here

‘creature of habit’ here

‘countless’ and ‘Uneven Odds’ here

‘In Flanders Fields’ here

Andrew & Wymack:

Andrew’s trust in Wymack here

‘100% Loved’ here

‘Foxhole Tidbits Chapter 11: Dadmack’ and ‘Badass coach prompt’ here

‘Return of Dad!Mack’ series parts 1 & 3 here

‘Even Angels fear the Fall’ here

Take me as I am by EarlGreyjoy [Rated G (we say T), 20621 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2021]

Andrew Minyard vs ableism

tw: ableism, tw: alcohol

Because our hearts are heavy burdens (we shouldnt have to bear alone) by wesawbears [Rated T, 1237 Words, Complete, 2021]

Andrew is exceedingly terrible at being sick, but the Foxes rally to make sure he's cared for, even if he wouldn't return the favor.

I Didn't Choose Them by buriedinbaltimore [Rated T, 4503 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2021]

If Andrew was forced to hear that god awful song one more time, he was going to stab Nicky.

Nicky’s listening to a song on repeat in the shower and Andrew is not a fan. Neil helps him deal with the aftermath.

tw: sensory overload, tw: dissociation, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

On the Flipside by EmmmaMmmm [Rated T, 1906 Words, Complete, 2020]

Andrew knows what they think of him - sometimes he does his best to cultivate it, because he isn't all that interested by his teammates - so there should be no reason for any of them to try and defend him.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: violence

an echo haunts. by anclrewjosten (caslyc) [Rated G, 1239 Words, Complete, 2019]

An echo haunts. No matter how faded it has become, it will always be there, even when you can not hear it. Andrew Minyard's mind haunts him: Renee Walker hears it.

A Mutual Feeling by Tori_Scribbles [Rated G (we say T), 1109 Words, Complete, 2018]

Part 1 of the In A Foxes Hole series

Renee slid a sheathed knife from her boot and pressed it into Andrew's hand. His fingers curled around the handle and her lips curved into the softest of smiles.

“I don’t need these anymore,” she said, “they already helped me get free.”

tw: implied/referenced drug use, tw: violence

Andrew protecting Dan by @palmettofoxden [Tumbler, 2017]

The whole team is at a bar and some guy recognizes Dan from the strip club she used to work at.

tw: violence

matt & andrew friendship!!! hc by @triquetrine [Tumblr, 2021]

- matt had a fairly easy time becoming friends with nicky, kevin, and aaron, mostly because once all the issues in their respective lives had been somewhat solved they were more open to branching out

NB: bonus short hc here

exy was a nice dream to borrow hc by @kazzyboy [Tumblr, 2021]

So, like, it’s canon that Andrew doesn’t like exy. He downright hates it. Nora has probably said in her extra content that he never ends up liking it.

But you wanna know what I think? I think that I remember Neil promising his exy dream to Andrew until Andrew could find one of his own. He let him borrow it. Keep it, if he wanted.

Andrew Minyard is a comedic genius. hc by @one-black-coffeee [Tumblr, 2021]

he whispers ridiculous commentary and jokes into the ears of the Foxes at the worst times, making them all break out laughing while Andrew remains completely unfazed.

thoughts about Andrew and Wymack’s relationship? hc by @sinistercacophony [Tumblr, 2021]

i think the energy of andrew breaking into wymacks apartment at 3am to steal his alcohol and rant about how much he hates the new kid is fully underutilized and also just. so fucking funny.

Andrew’s various nicknames and who calls him what hc by @ravens-play-exy-too [Tumblr, 2020]

- Drew (Neil) - Monster (the foxes minus Neil) - Andy (Matt ft. some bruises)

Art

Halloween ‘10 and murder besties art by @frisslimbim

andrew and renee chilling in a cafe art by @exyfordays

monster movie night! art by @llheji

Andrew’s lot art by @flightyfoxart

Renee & Andrew BFFs having ice cream art by @aminiyard

78 notes · View notes

eponinemylove · 5 years ago

Note

Headcanons about the Andrew( and the foxes) figuring out some of the fucked up things Neil’s mom did. Like I’ve always had a head canon that she is the reason he says he’s fine all the time

for sure! I have a lot of feelings about Mary Hartford. I want to say that if the conversation does ever manage to come up, Neil would immediately jump to his mother’s defense. We see everything she did through his memories of her, and while we can recognize it as abuse, Neil still thinks of her fondly. She was the only family he really had, and in his eyes, everything she did was out of necessity, if not love (CW: abuse)

(side note, I’ve briefly talked about aaron’s reaction before as part of a different post, and I stand by that. I’ve also brushed upon the subject of Mary and Neil being “fine” when I did a sort of sickfic hc!)

let me just start by saying how awful this news would be for the foxes. Like, it’s awful in general because what she did was fucked up, but their poor hearts… They managed the Nest. They managed Baltimore. They managed Drake (although that was Andrew’s past not Neil’s, they were still there for the murder and everything that followed). They have been through heartbreak after heartbreak for this kid who not only went through these things but thought, on some level, that he deserved them. So they really can’t take finding out that his mother—who Neil openly condones—is also one of his ghosts. They can’t take finding out that she’s partly the reason why he doesn’t swing, why he can’t trust, why he runs and hides and lies, why he doesn’t think he can have this. And if that wasn’t hard enough, to find out that Neil thinks this is okay, that this is fine—it’s too much to handle.

Andrew’s first reaction, predictably, is murder. This doesn’t quite work out for him, as Mary’s already dead, but the urge he feels to drain the life from her himself is frankly concerning. The second the words are leaving Neil’s mouth, the second all his suspicions are confirmed (because let’s be real, Andrew knew someone had hurt Neil, and his father had been too many steps behind him to cause that much damage), he sees red. Full on, knives out, burning rage. He’s shaking with it. You can tell he’s feeling an emotion, because he’s not grumbling about anything. He’s gone into quiet rage, the dangerous kind, in which he silently plots all the ways he can gruesomely arrange your departure from existence.

for a split second, the upperclassmen think that his anger is directed at Neil, and they subtly move in to block him from Andrew’s war path. This works out well for no one, because Andrew needs Neil in his line of sight right now to know he’s safe and here, and anyone who even thinks of touching this boy after what he’s just confessed to happening to him is getting stabbed. Repeatedly. It’s not their fault for assuming, though. They saw what happened with him and Aaron after this sort of thing, and they just want to shield Neil from that fallout. He’s been through enough

The only thing that manages to calm him down even somewhat is Neil himself. He holds Andrew’s gaze, doesn’t hide under it. He looks him straight in the eye. He is fine, now. He isn’t hurt. He’s with Andrew, and Andrew is going to keep him safe, and Mary is dead, and there’s nothing for them to fight anymore.

except there is, there is, because Neil is stupid. Neil is an idiot who doesn’t know the meaning of the word fine, who has never been fine a day in his life. this was never okay. he’s worse than Aaron, because at least Aaron came to his senses eventually. but Neil, even after everything, is still standing there, defending her. it makes his blood boil. 140%. 170. 200.

Later, Andrew has to physically restrain himself from pulling him into a bruising kiss. He makes a tangible effort to be as gentle with Neil as he can, because he refuses to show him that love should be rough. It shouldn’t. He holds Neil’s hand and kisses his knuckles, runs his hands softly through his hair. He shows him all the way touches should feel when coming from��someone you trust. Neil thinks it isn’t necessary but he accepts it with a stuttering heart anyway. His hands shake.

Aaron is seething, but for an entirely different reason. He’s furious, because how does Neil not realize that they’re the exact same? Neil gave him so much shit when he was upset over his mother, but now he has the audacity to stand here and spout this crap? The only thing holding him back from beating the shit out of Josten himself is Andrew’s presence, radiating wrath from beside him. If he took a step in the wrong direction, his brother might genuinely kill him this time. It doesn’t matter. Neil went on and on and on about how Andrew was protecting him, how his mother was not someone who loved him but someone who hurt him, and how he should be glad she’s gone. And… and then this? No. No. Neil doesn’t get to love his mother after that. Mary hit him. She beat him to a pulp herself, nevermind what she said she was protecting him from. He wasn’t allowed to have friends, to talk to people, to go outside. He wasn’t allowed to speak. He’d had to keep his head down. Yeah, it sounds familiar. It sounds like Aaron’s quiet footsteps around the house, hoping to god he wouldn’t wake up Tilda. It sounds like him trying not to make himself seen when she came home after a night of using, like ducking his head and not meeting the eyes of her or anyone she brought home. It sounds like her fists on him when she was in one of her moods. It sounds really fucking familiar, and if Neil thinks he’s going to drop this, he is dead wrong.

Neil did not leave well enough alone when it was Aaron. He would not stop rubbing salt on the wound. And it hurt, a lot, but now Aaron is going to do the same. Not just for petty vengeance. Not just because Neil is a dick and this is payback. But because it helped. Aaron and Andrew are not on the same page about the way they feel, but they are about what to do next. Priority one is make sure Neil moves on, make sure he recognizes why Mary was wrong, and why it will never happen again, as long as any of the foxes have a say in it.

Matt and Nicky have the exact same reaction, which to immediately have their heart shattered. They’re in tears. Matt cares about Neil so, so much, and I know the fandom recognizes this, but I don’t know if people realize how deeply Nicky cares, too. It’s more than just cracking jokes; Neil is one of Nicky’s best friends. They’re going to make damn sure that Neil knows they will love him unconditionally, and that their love does not come heavy-handed. They will support him through this, even if they hate Mary for everything she had conditioned into him. Already they’re planning what they can do to get his mind off of this and get him smiling again as soon as possible. Nicky will probably push Neil harder than Matt, and it will probably be the wrong thing to do, but he’s trying so hard. He’s done this before, with Andrew and Aaron, and as heartbreaking as it was, he continues to do it because he loves them. And he loves Neil, too. Both Matt and Nicky already have adoption papers at the ready, and at this point they’re going to forge the signatures, consequences be damned, if it means Neil gets a happy life.

Kevin doesn’t have much to say about it when he finds out. I imagine he handles it with all of his usual finesse and sensitivity, which is none. He probably, not too gently, points out that Mary had a job to keep him safe from harm, all harm, and failed spectacularly at it. It’s not exactly helpful, but he does have a point. And when he get Neil alone, he offers to talk to him about it. He may not have been through the same thing, but he’s been through something similar enough. He had no family at the Nest, but at the same time they were the only ones he had, and they weren’t exactly gentle with him at the best of times. Riko and the Master weren’t Mary, but... they weren’t all that different, either. Like everything else, Kevin is there if he needs him.

Dan and Allison stare him down. They sympathize, they do, because this is awful, but they are not going to give him an inch. They don’t have time to coddle his feelings about his mother, and god help him if they hear an “I’m fine” fall from his lips. They’ll hold him, if he lets them, and they’ll be as soft and gentle as he needs, but they won’t give in to this. They aren’t going to pretend that he’s right–he’s not. HIs mother wasn’t what he remembers. She’s a complicated character. They’re not calling her evil; maybe she did what she had to, and maybe it was for the best. But it wasn’t right. They are steadfast in that. It wasn’t right. Neil can accept that when he’s ready, and when he does they will be there for him, taking care of him in their unassuming way so that he doesn’t feel like they’re walking on eggshells. He’s so grateful to have them. Grateful that they don’t push, but don’t give in either. Some of the strongest people he’s known…

Renee is the one who actually talks him through it. All the others are ready with their pitchforks, about to burn Mary at the stake, but she understands. She walks with him through everything, the good and the bad, and lets him come to his own conclusion. She listens to him when he feels like talking about what is was like, and talks about her own mother when he doesn’t. She shows him, subtly, what a parental figure is supposed to look like through her own stories. Lets him realize that sometimes the people who care don’t get it right, but that there are still others who love you, and that love doesn’t have to come with pain.

Bonus:

(Ik you didn’t ask, and this is probably too long already, but) Wymack and Abby find out about this indirectly, likely through either Andrew or Matt. Wymack had known from the beginning this would have been the case, but he’d had no idea it had come from his mother. It hurts him, that no one had ever been careful with Neil the way he needed. He doesn’t realize that he had been, though. Wymack hadn’t raised his voice, hadn’t made himself big in front of Neil. He had been careful to keep his anger far, far away and had always been there when Neil needed him. Wymack is his true father. Or mother. Or whatever.

Abby does what she does with Aaron: she gives him space. She knows that he’s probably never seen a woman in a comforting light before, and she waits to make sure that he’s okay with her presence before she gets anywhere near close to him. She lets him come to her, and, like Wymack, makes sure Neil knows that if she ever gets frustrated, that she would never take it out on him. They start the very slow process of showing Neil what it is like to be loved and cared for by someone who wants only to see you happy. Neil loves his family so, so much. He would choose them a thousand times over.

1K notes · View notes

professionalfangirl24601 · 3 years ago

Text

I know not everything has to have a deep meaning or a reason behind it, but I was wondering why Andrew hated Exy when Neil and Kevin were obsessed with it so much.

At first, I didn't get why they loved it so much. I thought since Neil, Kevin, and Riko were all ridiculously obsessed with it and they had played together at Evermore, the reasons for it must have been the same thing. Like Tetsuji used magic or something lol. I realize now that although some aspects of why Kevin and Neil had latched onto it and how they used it are pretty similar, they are two different cases.

CW: mentions of Drake and self harm

Ok, here's Neil's explanation of his love for exy: "This is how I stay alive. When I'm playing, I feel like I have control over something. I feel like I have the power to change things. I feel more real out there than I do anywhere else. The court doesn't care what my name is or where I'm from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist as I am."

He also said that the only times he had seen his mother smile was when she was watching him play in little league games.

He could survive without playing exy, but he couldn't live without it. It was after his mother's death that he couldn't resist playing anymore. It was the only thing he associated happiness with and after moving around, changing his appearance and personality, he needed something permanent in his life. Since his mother couldn't fill that space anymore, he turned to exy.

Kevin grew up in the nest. He was told his entire life that his only purpose was playing exy. After Riko broke his hand it must have been very hard for him, besides the obvious. He wasn't sure if the Moriyamas would let him live, because he had no purpose, in their eyes. He pushed himself harder than anyone else. I think a part of the reason for this was because in the nest injuries weren't a good enough reason to stop playing. They had to do it, or else.

So exy was a very important tool for Kevin's survival. It was what he was raised for and he was good at it too. So logically speaking, it makes sense that he would like it.

But the reason he's so obsessed with it is because of his mother. Kayleigh was a co-inventor of the sport and he used it to feel closer to her.

Riko's obsession is different. He didn't love the game as much as what being good at it would get him. He believed that if he'd be good enough at it, his father would notice him and pay attention to him. He also liked controlling and hurting people and being the captain of the ravens put him in a convenient (for him ofc) position to do that.

Even though Jean didn't share their sentiment towards the sport he still had his native language, French, that he refused to stop using, no matter how hard Riko tried, because it would mean losing himself completely and giving up.

So why does it seem that Andrew doesn't have anything like that at the beginning of the series? Obviously, he cares about his family, he has promises and deals, and he's not afraid to die because of them. But the thing is, they keep him alive but don't make him WANT to live.

He created a purpose for his life when he couldn't find one, by making himself useful, like, promising Aaron his protection. But it clearly wasn't enough for him because he made a deal with Kevin, that if he stood between him and Riko, Kevin would give him something to build his life around (Andrew didn't believe Kevin could keep it).

he also denies his close relationships with people (Like Renee, Kevin, Neil...) because then people will know his weaknesses and use them against him. Partly he does it because of his deal with Aaron but it's obvious Andrew has problems with letting people in and trusting them.

He thinks that either someone can mean everything or nothing to him. A very good example of this is his relationship with Aaron. Their deal made it seem like they would be everything to each other, but in reality, aside from protecting him, Andrew pretty much ignored him.

I think the reason Andrew doesn't let anyone, (or even exy) too close to him, before Neil, is because he learned how dangerous it was to live for another person or thing because it could easily destroy you. Maybe not deliberately, but it was too risky. He learned it the hard way. A loving mother was so wanted by him that he was willing to put up with drake just to keep Cass. This led him to self-harm. He would continue living like this for who knows how long if not for Aaron's safety.

Andrew started playing exy in juvie. So by that time he already knew how dangerous depending on only one thing to keep you alive was.

The reason Kevin fulfills his end of the deal isn't that Neil becomes the person Andrew lives for, but because he teaches him that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. He's not obsessed with Neil, but he loves him and doesn't deny the thing between them is a something at the end of the series. We also know from the extra content that eventually he starts enjoying exy.

He starts opening up and letting things in because he has people in his life he trusts, and knows they will not use his vulnerability to hurt him. He doesn't choose one thing and start wanting to live because of it. He lets himself grow and heal with Neil by his side and finds many things in life that are worth living for.

#aftg #andrew minyard #andreil #neil josten #kevin day #riko moriyama #all for the game #jean moreau #I find this very interesting #idk if everyone already knows this but #even though i had a vague idea about it #i still didn't know the exact answer before writing this post #I guess it's hard to realize some things until you put them into words and sort of organize the jumbled mess in your head

27 notes · View notes

simonsrosebud · 4 years ago

Note

Hey what’s Daltons relashionship with each of the other foxes?

kevin: sexc man. boyf. pretty to look at.

neil: my boyfriend’s short best friend. doesn’t care for dalton, but eventually they become friends because they start talking about math stuff or just things they have in common when they’re together. but only the things they have in common bc neil doesn’t do small talk as we all know, and he probably doesn’t care to talk to dalton about anything he doesn’t care about in general. neil trusts dalton with kevin, even though his approval isn’t as important to kevin as say, andrew or wymack. oh, and once neil is comfortable with dalton, he takes lily on long runs sometimes because she’s a dalmatian puppy with tons of energy that dalton doesn’t always have the time to get out.

andrew: this guy who’s weirdly a little protective of my boyfriend but who also is a dick to him. he’s protective of kevin when andrew is around at first, and doesn’t let his shit slide when it involves kevin bc dalton is a good boyfriend who stands up for his bf. once andrew fully recognizes that dalton isn’t going to let something happen to kevin when he’s around then andrew backs off and leaves dalton be.

aaron: who? they literally only speak to each other when needed.

nicky: is in love with dalton. no, i mean like yes in the way he jokes about coming between them but he loves whenever dalton comes around because dalton is just the nicest ever and interacts with the foxes so easily in comparison to others who have tried. (it’s because dalton knows not to expect things from people. his mom taught him that.)

matt: puppy dog friend. matt is always the nicest guy (unless someone needs someone else punched) and that extends to kevin as well. we all know matt and kevin squabble in the books but they’re still loyal to one another and are friends. dalton doesn’t become friends with matt first of all of them, but once they do become friends they’re unstoppable. they’re both easily entertained and for some reason whenever they’re together it’s like they’re children. they can just talk about literally anything and are always laughing while doing so. it’s dangerous. they bring out the *goes through chick-fil-a drive thru on foot aka an invisible car duh* in each other. this actually happened, i like to believe. stupid stuff like that. along with a remake of spongebob delivering that krusty krab pizza amidst a literal snowstorm (only it’s during an incredibly windy hurricane season when it’s raining). kevin is annoyed when they come back to his suite soaking wet, “i left you alone for ten minutes!”

dan: they respect each other and get along. at first it’s because she feels bad ab when they got him drunk and played never have i ever, but it turns into a genuine friendship. she asks how teaching stuff is going and about lily, and that he’s always welcome to bring her by the suite because she’s so darn cute, and he asks how exy is going because while kevin can and will talk his ear off with such detail that dalton doesn’t understand, dan will give him the overview instead.

allison: boyfriend’s older sister? despite how his relationship with matt is, he’s probably closest to allison because of her growing close to kevin since the end of the kings men. she’s real with him and was one of the first to know about them and idk like they don’t talk every day and text each other often like he and matt may do, but she’s the one he’d call first if he needed help with something.

renee: they’re not close but they’re nice to each other and respect one another. renee has given him advice on multiple occasions about the foxes or kevin.

wymack: my boyfriend’s scary dad. wymack likes dalton bc he’s nice and treats kevin well. he likes talking to dalton, eventually, about stuff other than exy bc that’s what he finds himself talking about the most with the others and dalton isn’t on that level of exy love.

abby: my boyfriend’s nurse mother figure. he doesn’t get close to abby until the semester before he and kevin graduate. not for any reason, he just hadn’t been around her much. but she likes how he makes kevin smile so she’s always approved of him.

84 notes · View notes

palmett-hoes · 4 years ago

Note

what's your take on the foxes mbti?

oh buddy ur never gonna believe this but i wrote a foxes MBTI post YEARS ago

im also not into mbti anymore and haven't been for many years so that post is probably still more accurate and in-depth than what i could give you now. i’m just gonna copy the whole thing but i read it over and it still totally vibes w how i understand the characters, like way more than i was expecting it to. i only made one edit (it’s marked) and it was to add a detail not change anything

i hope you’re really really into mbti otherwise this’ll probably be gobbeldegook

i used to be obessively into mbti so here’s an analysis based on cognitive functions mostly.

SKIP IF YOU WANT. for anyone with no idea how it works, here’s a quick rundown: cognitive functions are about the way people think, process, and prioritize information, not necessarily how they act, though people who think the same way often act the same. the 8 letters that make up a type represent how people process and prioritize internal and external stimuli. every letter actually has an ‘internal’ and 'external’ form so there’s Thinking (internal(ti) and external(te)), Feeling (internal(fi) and external(fe)), Sensing (internal(si) and external(se)), and iNtuition(internal(ni) and external(ne)) t’s always go with a corresponding and opposite f (like ti and fe always go together), same with s’s and n’s (ex: si and ne always go together). a set of t, f, s, and n in a specific order makes an mbti type.

neil: intp (ti ne si fe)

neil has incredible analytical ability although it’s very programmed for survival but he’s also a fast thinker and very quick to adapt to new environments. he also approaches things from original angles that other people dont consider, all that sounds like high ti/ne. the lower functions fit well too. in times of stress, he returns to old habits and falls back on what’s familiar, that’s classic low si. his emotions are also very exterior. he’s bad with other people from lack of exposure, but he’s committed to harmony between those close to him and has an impeccable ability to read the emotional states of others while being completely oblivious of his own, and his sense of self is tied to exterior things like exy, friends, keys, and legal documents (lol) that’s fe

andrew: intj (ni te fi se)

ni is really hard to describe but it has to do with being able to draw conclusions from scattered input, which fits with andrew’s uncanny ability to spot lies and obsession with finding out the truth, especially with high te, which is about spatial order and logic, think of how prioritized he is with the physical order of things: who sits where, who wears what, etc. a lot of people want to make andrew infj i bet as like a “subversive reading” but he’s definitely not. i used to be really close to an infj and they have hyper-empathy, as in she would describe not just caring about other people and being able to read their emotional states but literally feeling the things the people around her felt. this is a common result of the ni/fe combo, and the reason why andrew is definitely not infj. tertiary fi fits very well instead because andrew is deeply attuned to his own inner emotional state. he’s self-confident and doesn’t care about other people’s perception of him, but he’s also very concerned with his own feelings and understanding them, even if they’re repressed. he’s also very aware of his physical surroundings, which plays into his deductive ability, although it’s not his focus. that’s low se

kevin: estj (te si ne fi)

kevin is a classic estj. he’s controlling, demanding, and driven. he tries to control the actions of those around him and gets very distressed when things dont run smoothly, as well as having strong feelings about improving efficiency. high te people make great managers. kevin’s whole story arc is about breaking old habits, which is a very si problem. it has to do with trusting and craving memory and familiarity, and explains kevins need for endless repetition. he’s innovative, though, coming up with new strategies and drills (ne), it’s just based on what’s already familiar, and you can see him spiral into creating all possible worst-case scenarios when he’s stressed (low ne stress reaction, they like to be prepared). finally, he’s a dick, but he cares about other people and wants to improve their lives, as well as being very reliant on other people’s perceptions of him to define his own self-image (low fe)

dan: esfj (fe si ne ti)

dan’s top priority, over everything else, is her team. she wants her team to improve, she wants her team to win, she wants her team to work together. it’s all about the collective. we also see that she’s very open with others and makes a lot of effort to both make new ties and maintain old ones, that’s high fe. she’s sentimental and attached to the past too (si) esp the photo wall, but we also see her very unwilling to let go of the past ie the monsters but eventually willing to change and grow to mend team cohesion (ne). we also see the fight in underlying logic (low ti) with her: she knows the team needs the monsters to cooperate but she cant figure out how to do it

matt: enfj (fe ni se ti)

so enfj’s experience infj hyper-empathy too, but to a slightly lesser extent (primary fe is more group cohesion, secondary fe is more understanding others), and through this we see matt’s easy-going open friendliness and ability to befriend even prickly little neil, because he has an extremely good sense of what other people are feeling and need, it also explains why he doesn’t hold a grudge against the cousins in the same way dan does, because he understands where they were coming from. se is associated with a general boisterousness for life, as it’s about experiencing the world around you, which explains matt’s happy-go-lucky disposition and puppydog behavior. the ti aspects mostly go into supporting fe/ni empathic senses

allison: entj (te ni se fi)

i mean, allison’s controlling, both in that she orders other people around and in that her physical being and space are very planned and organized (her clothes, her hair, her makeup, etc) but at the same time there isn’t much sentimentality to her, like how she doesn’t care when her car was destroyed. she easily replaces things because she cares about the object’s purpose, not its history and that all smacks of high te/ni. and i mean, the se definitely contributes to her love of designer things and killer looks, because she cares about the world immediately around her, and why live if not in luxury? and fi? is there any character more aggressively self-confident than allison reynolds?? going against her parents’ wishes for her takes a really strong, independent sense of self, but we also see the problems that can come from not worrying about other people, in how she starts fights and can be abrasive and catty

renee: infp (fi ne si te)

okay this one was really hard tbh. a list of other considerations: isfp, istp, and infj. it’s very easy to read renee as high fe because she’s kind, but i think it’s a mischaracteration of why she’s kind. it’s not because it comes naturally to her, it’s because it’s a conscious choice that makes her feel better about herself. high fi people often read as fe because they’re so comfortable with themselves and in tune with their own needs that they can then go and provide for others. i associate her religion with ne, because contemplation and acceptance of the divine later in life is a very metaphysical undertaking that undoubtedly requires a lot of abstract thought. renee’s storyline also revolves a lot around using things from her past and putting a conscious effort into leaving things from her past behind (how she still uses the skills she learned from her past in new ways ie sparring with andrew and protecting the upperclassmen v/s how she held on to her knives even when she knew it was detrimental to her moving on) this sounds like si. her protective instincts also feed into the te need for order, but it’s a looser leash than say andrew, as it’s lower on her function stack but still present

nicky: esfp (se fi te ni)

godd nicky is like a prototypical esfp. i mean nicholas “sex, drugs, and parties” hemmick cant be anything but se dominant. nicky is all about living it up and living in the moment. like he’s sporadic and ive seen it lead people to think he could be enfp but he doesn’t think enough about the meaning of things to be ne dominant (like how he makes somewhat predatory jokes and such, he’s all about the here-and-now while ne is about the past and future simultaneously). also he of all characters has incredibly prominent fi, as his whole character is about living unashamedly as himself as a gay man and the immense self-awareness and inner strength it takes not only to come out to unaccepting parents but also to leave and start a new life when they rejected him. however, fi is also indicative of his communication problems with his family, as he’s unable to tell that the cousins are fundamentally different from him in their needs and boundaries, leading him to pushing them, making them uncomfortable, and being unable to help them, because he’s unable to understand them. the rest are much more hidden, but a party boy shopaholic like nicky would probably need some amount of te order in like an organized chaos fashion (and he’s often headcanoned as liking to throw parties) and you do see him become somewhat pushy, even controlling in those scenarios. ni is the hardest but could maybe be seen in how he’s attuned to the cousins reactions for all that he cant predict them/doesn’t do anything on his own part to prevent them (the way he handles andrew is like if someone poked a rattlesnake knowing damn well what it would do and then freaked out when he got bit)

aaron: istj (si te fi ne)

im a little iffy on this one and worry it might be an analysis based on his trauma instead of complimentary to it, but aaron’s arc is about breaking out of his habit of holding on to the past. he refuses to work towards moving on from his mother’s death, refuses to listen to things that contradict his preconceived notions, and refuses to make changes in his life that could improve it. that’s unhealthy si. he’s really a very unhealthy istj, and most of his traits manifest through his unhappiness with his life. take his te. that would imply that he needs control over his surroundings, but aaron is incredibly bitter and unhappy BECAUSE he doesn’t have control of his surroundings. he doesn’t get to make his own choices, he doesn’t get to control his space, and he hates it. his relationship with katelyn is also indicative of being an istj. it’s stable, not a passionate fling, but aaron is mocked for wanting that white picket fence, married with kids in the suburbs kind of life, and his relationship, which is his primary source of happiness, is built on stability, which is a very si thing to do. in terms of fi, it is aaron that ultimately forces change between himself and andrew. he may have been pushed but he ultimately came down to him knowing what made him happy and what made him miserable and acting on that. also, he’s an ornery asshole who clearly doesn’t care what other people think of him. fi. i dont really have anything to say in terms of ne, probably because he’s so unhealthy but also because he’s not too explored. heyy istj’s make great doctors

wymack: isfj (si fe ti ne)

okay this one was genuinely the hardest to decide on but ultimately i came to the conclusion that wymack, much like renee, is such a developed person that he loses many defining traits of the functions, and can be read in many different ways. so: wymack’s primary goal is the safety and betterment of other people (ie his team). he wants to help people overcome their pasts, which is a very atypical approach to si, but is si nonetheless. on a personal level, too, he’s never able to move on from people, and specifically never moved on from kayleigh, continuing their shared dream of an exy team for abused kids long after her death. as ive said before, fe in a secondary position is about deep understanding of other people, and wymack’s ability to understand what other people are struggling through is legendary. the ti mostly serves as support to the fe, serving as the analytical backup in allowing him to understand others. as for ne: he is most definitely an innovator with unusual ideas, or the foxes wouldn’t exist

riko: estp (se ti fe ni)

riko is basically what happens when an estp goes bad down to the core. he’s obsessed with personal glory and immediate self-fulfillment (se) he has no impulse control or fear of consequences. interestingly, high se is often associated with athleticism, because high se people are intensly focused on their surroundings (exy). his ti is also super unhealthy as he gets obsessed with ideas that dont really work with objective reality, like his obsession with ownership and power dynamics despite them not actually being efficient, even backwards. the tertiary fe he uses to manipulate. he doesn’t empathize with others, but he can tell their emotional state and what’s important to them, and uses it to coerce them and destroy their sense of self, like how he knew he could get neil to the nest by threatening andrew. EDIT: /additionally, fe people especially in the lower half of the function stack tend to derive their sense of self from the perceptions of others around them, which riko very much shows in how he needs to be acknowledged as the best and won’t allow any competition for his title, as well as his desperation for acknowledgement from his family/. finally, that ni allowed him to keep multiple plans in place focused on one ultimate goal: getting kevin back. the sheer amount of schemes he sets up in order to fool and push people the way he wants is honestly kinda impressive, but he’s a toxic shithead and im glad he’s rotting. definitely not representative of all estp’s

this is honestly SO funny to read back a few years later bc HOOOOO boy was i way too into this stuff. and this was written a couple years after my Peak MBTI Obsession, which was honestly scary

#txt #the foxes #dan wilds #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #renee walker #neil josten #wymack #riko moriyama #my posts #im talkin #ask #anon #anonymous

64 notes · View notes

scribbleb-red · 5 years ago

Text

i like your face - a morning au

“I’ll get the drinks,” Neil says as soon as they walk into Eden’s.

Andrew raises an eyebrow.

“No one needs to get stabbed tonight,” Neil says. “It’s Hapless Sam on the bar.”

“Spoilsport,” Andrew mutters, but doesn’t move with Neil when he heads to the bar.

Hapless Sam is the new barman helping Roland, stepping in for a few months whilst Ebony, the usual yin to Roland’s yang, is off to have surgery.

Hapless Sam is also the bane of Andrew’s life. He never gets a drinks order right. He constantly peppers them with bad one liners. He also once tried to pick up both Neil and Nicky and Aaron in one night - only stopping when Aaron suddenly duplicated and Andrew stuck a blade under his chin. After that, Roland stepped in.

But the bar was overrun tonight and if Andrew had to so much as look at Hapless Sam - well, someone is going to prison and someone is leaving in a body bag. And you don't need to be a genius to figure out which.

So Neil goes to the bar and Andrew keeps an eye on him - on the red of his hair, the sway of his hips, a new quirk that he had to know drove Andrew crazy. It should be illegal for someone like Neil to have any kind of rhythm - but Neil wasn’t a bad dancer. He was sinuous and unreal, if a little self conscious, and Andrew really really needed a drink before that happened again.

Because it will, promised the voice in his head. Nicky will never rest until Neil dances again. Even if it killed Andrew. He suspected it was partly because Nicky wanted him to dance too.

Neil came back an achingly long time later. There was something odd about the way he looked at Andrew, half a question hovering right beneath his skin.

He set down the tray and Nicky chitters, Aaron glowers, Kevin reaches forward expectantly.

But there’s a yell from the bar and Andrew looks up to see Roland’s furious face, Hapless Sam’s horror.

He catches Roland’s eye and the frantic look there - the way he's turned to stare at Andrew tells him everything.

“Don’t fucking drink anything,” he says to his table.

Aaron puts his glass down. Kevin looks torn but relents under Andrew's stare. Nicky frowns and leans back.

Neil however sways on the spot. His eyes are blown wide, two black pools ringed with the finest circle of ice blue. Andrew reaches for him and Neil reaches back. He looks sad and confused.

"N'drew..." he slurs, "Did I do su'thin bad?" There's a tinge of British in there, a twirl of French.

Andrew tugs Neil down beside him, stomach hollowing because he doesn't know what Neil's taken but it's clear he's taken something. Rage pools in the empty cavern of his chest. He goes to push Neil at Nicky - Roland clearly knows something and he wants answers - but Neil makes a noise in his throat and catches hold of Andrew's sleeve. Even high he's not crossing lines. Andrew aches with that knowledge.

"What did I do?" Neil asks again. "I don' have none secrets."

It takes a moment for Andrew to realise Neil thinks this was his fault. That in some part of this idiot's head, he believes Andrew would drug him again.

"It wasn't me," Andrew says, voice low. "You're okay Neil."

"Stay with Nicky, I'll talk to Roland." And probably gut Hapless Sam, whose fault it inevitably is.

Neil makes that whining noise again and Andrew wishes they didn't have an audience. "Don't wanna kiss Nicky."

"Who said anything about kissing?"

"Not Nicky. Only you."

Nicky's guilty look sets Andrew's teeth on edge.

Andrew needs to talk to Roland but can't leave Neil with the Monsters. Fortunately, Roland comes to them bearing a new tray of drinks and a harried expression.

"Fucking hell guys, I'm sorry. None of you drank those, right?"

"Don't worry Sammy's been banished to the kitchen, he's not doing anything like this again and--"

Andrew is up and in his face within seconds - pinioning Roland against the wall, arm across his throat, knife pricking his side.

"What has he taken?"

Roland notices Neil, gulps.

"It's a new syrup - they call it Goblin Juice and it looks just like lime cordial - Sam thought it was lime for the soda. Fuck Andrew do you need the knife? Ow fuck fuck fuck okay stop, it's made using shrooms. Non addictive. Just meant to make you happy - kinda soft."

But of course Neil was the one who drank it. If it had been any of the others, perhaps no one would have even noticed - maybe even celebrated the free high.

But Neil...

Kevin and Aaron are helping themselves to the new drinks when he lets Roland go. Nicky looks pale and nervous and is holding a shot but not drinking. Neil has flopped back on their sofa and is staring at Andrew, a wide smile on his face that Andrew immediately hates.

"I really like your face," Neil says when his brain catches up and realises Andrew is paying attention again. "You have a good face."

Andrew shoots daggers with his eyes at Roland and the barman flees, promising free drinks for the night and the next, forever, whenever.

Neil smiles and reaches for Andrew again as he comes back.

Andrew is not drunk enough for this shit, especially when Nicky coos. "Oh he's so cute. He should have gotten high sooner."

Andrew wants to warn his cousin to back off but Neil has wriggled around and nuzzled his face against Andrew's shoulder. It's heedlessly distracting. It's dangerously adorable.

"Do yous like my face Nyandrew?" Neil says. "I really really like yours. Look at your face. Hey is my head still attached?"

Andrew sees the way Neil is teetering, wraps his hand across the back of Neil's neck and tugs him close. It's not a hug. It's for the idiot's own safety that's all. However, apparently for sky-high-Neil, silence and gestures isn't an answer.

"You don't like my face?"

The slight tremble in Neil's voice is what makes Andrew swallow his frustration and reply. He can't stand that tremble. "I like your fucking face." "I like yours too." And then Neil's finger boops Andrew's cheek.

"Nose," he says. "Good nose."

For. Fucks. Sake.

But it's kind of hilarious (and ruinously cute) as Neil - gentle as a moth wing - strokes over Andrew's cheek and along his temple, finds the bridge of his nose and the swell of his lips.

"Good face."

Andrew contains himself by a miracle. He's fairly sure Aaron is filming this.

"If that footage goes anywhere but the trash, I'll fucking stab you."

"If you were going to stab me, you would have done it a long time ago brother."

"No stabbing," Neil says. "Too many witnesses. Oh hey, look at the fireflies."

Neil lifts one hand to the empty ceiling. There are no fireflies. This is Eden's. Andrew wants to take Neil home but doesn't think putting him in a car is going to do much good right about now.

"You like my face," Neil sighs and sits back. "Even all of this."

"Yes," Andrew says. "Because of all of this."

It's not the scars, it's because Neil survived. That he should have broken and yet still held himself together by tooth and claw.

"I didn't drug you," Andrew says, close to the shell of Neil's ear. "I promise."

"Okay," Neil says. "Good. I don't wanna kiss Nicky."

And there it is again, the second time Neil has mentioned this. Andrew looks at his cousin, who has escaped with Kevin onto the dancefloor.

They'll have a little chat later, when Neil isn't on another planet.

"You're the best," Neil says. "I'll kiss you."

"Not tonight."

Because even if Neil is warm and flush against him. Even if Neil is soft and pliant and willing. This is a man who has been drugged and cannot give consent. Hell, he's watching fireflies that don't exist and stroking Andrew's chin, like he's forgotten Andrew has teeth. Neil is not okay.

Aaron leans back in his chair. "If it's molly, he could be flying for hours."

"It's some kind of shroom shit."

"So even longer then."

Andrew's fingers tighten on Neil's shoulder. "So we can't wait this out?" He should have asked Roland that.

"Probably not, no. Take him home. I'll bring the others."

And for once Andrew decides to trust his brother. He gathers Neil and his loose limbs and leaves Aaron to manage Kevin and Nicky. It’s a one of the hardest things he’s ever done but Bee’s buzzing voice tells him it's time to let Aaron prove himself, standalone.

Neil is awful as they leave - smiling at everyone and everything, even things that aren’t there. His eyes shine and every time he looks at Andrew, there’s a draw of breathe like he’s never seen him before.

“You are,” Neil says, “the best thing. The abs’lute best thing. Hold me up and keep me sage, no safe. Mean safe. You me safe.”

And Neil cannot sing but his voice is sing song and full of wonder.

Andrew is going to gut Hapless Sam like a fish from chin to pelvis.

They drive home - slowly because Neil keeps getting distracted by things Andrew is doing, like blinking (your eyelashes are so white, like snow flakes Andrew) and breathing (but look how you move, so amazing). But Neil is so soft and happy and obsessed, it’s hard to be angry.

Columbia is dark, their house musty with absence. They’ve not visited for a while and Andrew had been hoping for something slightly different tonight.

Neil apparently had too. “Yes? Andrew? Yes?” He says.

“No,” Andrew says. And he never thought he’d hate seeing Neil obey - not with this - but there’s hurt and confusion and concern and a thousand layers of emotion on Neil’s face when he hears it this time. All the feelings Neil must usually keep tucked away when it isn’t always yes for Andrew.

Andrew relents, “Just this,” he says as he settles onto the sofa, guiding Neil down with him. Neil’s reaction is instant - dopey smile and arms that snake around Andrew in a loose but escapable hold.

“Warm,” he says. “Strong.”

The hours tick by in highs and lows - Neil is happy in phases, then almost crying in others. He tells Andrew things that cross his mind, about Andrew, about the Foxes and exy. He hides in Andrew’s hoody when he sees shadows crawling and is convinced they’re from his father.

Andrew does his best to soothe and protect - it’s all in Neil’s head and Andrew isn’t a soft man, but he keeps Neil close and lets him talk. A few years ago he couldn’t have done this. But a few years ago he and Neil were new and still cutting each other on their sharp edges.

Aaron herds an unhappy Nicky and an almost paralytic Kevin inside. Aaron seems sober but that could just be in comparison.

“Our cousin,” Aaron tells Andrew, “is a fool. But you care about him and shouldn’t kill him for doing what you asked.”

“What did he do?”

Aaron shrugs. “Just a kiss I believe. But might explain a bit more why your nut-job boyfriend knocked himself out that time.”

“That was cos imma liar,” Neil chimes with all the confidence of the truly seshed. “Liar liar liar.”

“Not anymore.”

“Yeah. Not with you.”

There's water and toast and Neil naps at one point but Andrew doesn't because he knows what's next - and he's right. Neil is sick for what feels like hours but isn't. Aaron brings more water. A small part of Andrew wonders if his twin actually likes seeing Neil so ridiculous.

Turns out he's right about that too.

Aaron tells him when Neil is hurling up his guts that seeing Neil like this, seeing Andrew with him like this, makes more sense than anything he's seen prior.

"You're everything to him." Aaron doesn't say that Neil is everything to Andrew but the implication is there.

And when Neil is finally in their bed, safe and asleep, Andrew calls Roland and leaves a warning. Hapless Sam had better be fired or there wouldn't be an Eden's Twilight.

He stays awake and stays awake. He falls asleep around 6am.

Neither of them stir until well into the afternoon and when Neil does, he buries his face in the pillows and groans.

"Oh my god. Andrew I'm so --"

"Shut up." Andrew doesn't want apologies for this. He sees the embarrassed pink of Neil's ears, the flush on his neck. "Stop."

Neil groans again and Andrew knows he must feel like shit right about now. That he's mortified. That he's worried. That Andrew has the power to make it right.

Something wicked flickers in his gut.

"Hey junkie," he says. "I like your face."

-The End-

Notes:

#morning au #andreil #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #post canon #all for the game #absolute fluff #even if there's accidently non-consensual drug use #it's not deliberate #no one is an asshole #neil is very soft and sappy #he really likes Andrew's face #eden's twilight #very very fluffy

1K notes · View notes

side-effect-of-the-meds · 4 years ago

Note

I know it’s not what you usually write, but could you do hc’s for Nicky / Aaron / Neil learning the actual timeline for Andrew and Roland’s “relationship” and then completely cutting Roland out of their lives? Bonus points if Neil like, kills or calls up Ichirou to kill him :) thanks :) I need closure :)

Don’t we all, babe? Here’s a lil something for your trouble

“How old were you when you lost your virginity,” Andrew read off the block. All the Upperclassmen, save Renee leaned forward in anticipation. Amidst the flood of articles published upon Andrew’s admittance to Easthaven, the media had muddled much of the story in regards to the entire Pre-Thanksgiving Fiasco. While Neil had taken the time to clear things up with the Upperclassmen, he’d left out a lot of the details, namely Andrew’s history of trauma.

“It’s none of y’alls fucking buisness-” Aaron started.

“Seven.” It was as though someone had sucked all the air out of the room. “He was dating my foster mother. She knew what he was doing. So long as she got her check, she didn’t care.”

Folding his hands in his lap in an attempt to sate his urge to reach out, Neil let his eyes go out of focus. Every single fiber of his being ached to touch Andrew. For eight months, Andrew had stood by his side, quelling his every urge to run despite the looming threat of his father. Even after Nathan’s death, Neil had bolted awake in the middle of nights, iching to cut and run. Every single time, Andrew had hooked a hand behind his neck, drawn him close, muttered quiet reassurances until he’d smoothed over all of Neil’s ragged edges. Admitting this could not be easy for Andrew. Why he’d even done it, Neil didn’t know but he wished that he could offer Andrew with at least a fraction of the support he’d provided him in the last year. By nothing short of a miracle, he was granted the opportunity to.

Andrew’s arm dropped from off the couch back, settling across Neil’s shoulders. Immediately, Neil felt himself relax.

“How old were you when you chose to have sex for the first time?” Nicky asked, hesitantly. That wasn’t a distinction anyone should ever have to draw and it cut Neil deeper than any of his father’s knives.

“Seventeen,” Andrew answered. The Foxes collectively exhaled. In South Carolina, the age of consent was sixteen. It probably wasn’t a good call to grant hormonally charged teens the legal ability to consent to sex but what were they going to do? Have sex with an adult?

“Who was it?” Nicky asked. Aaron groaned, clapping his hands over his ears.

“Roland,” Andrew admitted. The second the name left his lips, Nicky’s smile faltered. Aaron’s hands dropped away, his brows knitting together as they always did when he was sorting through something.

“No way,” Nicky laughed but it was false cheer. Concern welled in Neil’s chest. “Andrew, when you were seventeen, Roland was…”

“Twenty-three,” Aaron said. His voice was empty, devoid of all the fury painting his features. “He was twenty-three years old and you were a child.”

“I’m more than capable of making my own-” Andrew started.

“No you fucking weren’t!” Aaron roared. “He was your boss. Not only was he older than you, he was in a place of power.” Once more, a pregnant silence fell over the Foxes. None of the Upperclassmen nor Kevin deigned to intervene.

“Aaron-” Andrew began.

“No,” he snapped. “I don’t- I can’t,” Aaron said as he rocketed out of his seat. Storming through, he knocked into the table and sent the jenga tower toppling.

“How about we call it a night?” Matt asked. He didn’t wait for an answer before he began clearing away the blocks. Renee moved next, clearing up the glasses and coaxing Dan and Allison to help her with the dishes. Nicky stood, his movements mechanical as he made his way from the room. Kevin followed him out in silence. It wasn’t until everyone had left the room that Andrew moved. Unfurling from where he’d curled up on the couch, he drew his arm back from around Neil and stood.

“Andrew,” Neil called quietly. There was something poisonous in the gaze he turned on Neil but it did nothing to deter him. “He wasn’t just older or your boss. He didn’t respect you.” Andrew’s lips curled in a snarl. “You had to handcuff him just to keep his hands off you.” Neil’s voice broke near the end but he didn’t care. It seemed to break something in Andrew too.His apathetic facade fell back into place but there were cracks in it now. From the slump of his shoulders to the muscle ticking in his jaw, Neil could see how their words had affected him. Andrew didn’t believe in regret for it was the result of shame and guilt. Surely, he felt neither of those things now. There was no shame in sating his desires. All teens had them. There was no guilt in it either. He wasn’t the one that had done anything wrong.

Fishing his cigarettes out of his pocket, Andrew slipped one out of the carton and lit it up. He headed out the door with Neil at his heels. They parted ways at the door to their room, Andrew headed for the stairwell in search of some time to clear his head and Neil headed for their bed to give him the space he undoubtedly needed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“How was y’alls weekend?” Bee asked, chipper as ever. “I heard you forwent the usual Columbia outing in favor of going to one of Dan’s game night.” Aaron’s heart stumbled. A wave of anger washed over him, thinly veiling the anguish beneath. Seven. Andrew had been hurting since he was seven. Not only that, but he’d allowed the unthinkable.

“How can you stand him?” Aaron asked, his body trembled as he struggled to contain his anger.

“How can you stand her?” Andrew countered. As always, he looked entirely uninterested in the proceedings. He was slumped down in his chair, absently stirring his hot chocolate.

“Tilda didn’t rape me.” Bee sat a little straighter. Immediately, her gaze flicked towards Andrew. Aaron watched as Andrew set his cup back onto the desk.

“I trust Neil.”

“Like you trusted Roland?” Aaron’s voice came out sounding cold, empty, and nothing like himself. Fury lit up Andrew’s face. “He was twenty-three, Andrew. An adult! You were seventeen. What the fuck were you thinking?” A heavy silence settled over them. Bee always gave the boys a few minutes to cool down or pick up the conversation without her own intervention. Just as she opened her mouth, Andrew spoke.

“It was the first time I’d felt in control of things,” he said finally. “Everyone was always taking what they wanted from me. My… arrangement with Roland was purely transactional. I got him off and I got to feel like I was in control.” Andrew picked his mug back up from the desk. Aaron watched as he drained it in one go. “In retrospect, I see that I wasn’t. My sense of control was an illusion that Roland allowed me to maintain so that he could get what he wanted.”

“That’s a very interesting insight, Andrew,” Bee remarked. She made several notes on her clipboard as Aaron digested his brother’s words. That was all they had time for. The two of them allowed Bee to walk them to the door of the clinic and drove back to the court in silence.

Despite it being the middle of practice, Nicky was standing in the parking lot.

“Hey,” he said, plastering a smile to his face at the twins’ approach.

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked. He watched as a shiver ran down his cousin’s spine at the chilly tone.

“I left the flash drive with all my old photos of Erik at the house a while ago. I’ve gotta go grab it so I can make him a video for our 7th anniversary! Kevin’s letting me borrow his car too. How was Bee?” Neither of the twins answered. “Alright, good talk!” Nicky called after them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good talk indeed. It seemed that neither of the twins suspected a thing. Cutting the engine on, Nicky peeled out of the lot. A month after Riko’s death, the Ravens had sent his old car to Kevin. They’d said that, as his brother and closest family member, Kevin should be the one to inherit all his belongings. Of course, their intentions weren’t as pure as the media portrayed them to be. Every single one of Riko’s belongings served as a reminder of Kevin’s time in the Nest.

The Foxes had held a bonfire on the beach in which they’d burnt all of it. Neil had attended as well. From what Nicky had managed to wring from him, his mother had died on a beach and Neil had been forced to burn her body.

“It won’t be easy,” Neil had admitted, “but I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” The smile that had stretched across his had been so undeniably fox-like that Nicky had done a double take.

It was nice seeing Neil smile. It was even nicer to see the way Andrew relaxed around him. The two of them had been forged in the hellfires of their upbringings into the most wicked blades in the Fox arsenal. But that didn’t mean they were invincible. Even the sharpest of knives could be scratched and chipped and, eventually, broken.

Ever since Andrew first arrived in Columbia, Nicky had sworn he’d protect his cousins to the best of his abilities. He’d never once managed it. In fact, more often than not, Andrew was the one protecting him. It was time he paid him back for it.

Nicky pulled into the parking lot of the ramshackle apartments at the edge of Columbia in record time. Atop his car, lounged a familiar figure.

“Nicky?” Roland called as he sat up. His eyes were red and he reeked of weed. “What are you doing all the way out here without Andrew?” Nicky could feel his blood boiling beneath his skin.

“When did you start sleeping with him?” Nicky asked, struggling to keep his voice steady. Roland’s brows knitted together as he thought.

“Started maybe… four years ago? It ended as soon as your little runner joined the line, though. Shame,” Roland said, sliding off the trunk of his car, “Andrew was the best I’d ever had.”

“Do you know how old he was?” Nicky demanded. There was no hiding the way it trembled now.

“He was seventeen.” The answer was immediate and it knocked the air out of Nicky’s lungs. “He was legal,” Roland said with a shrug. The old one two, he heard Matt say in his head. It suddenly struck Nicky that Roland was older than he was.

“He was a child,” Nicky roared. “My child!” Before he even realized, Nicky had closed the space between them. His hand came up, curled in a fist. The jarring pain of his own knuckles connecting with the side of Roland’s jaw knocked him back into his body.

“What the fuck, Nicky-” Roland started but, as he looked up from where he’d fallen, terror washed over his face.

“Don’t you ever speak to me or my boys again,” Nicky snarled. The drive back passed in a blur. Making his way up the stairs mechanically, Nicky headed back to his own room. When he opened the door, he found Andrew settled on the couch with Neil in his lap and a controller in his hands. Aaron was stretched out on the other couch, watching the screen.

“Can’t wait to lose a fourth time, can you, Minyard?” Matt taunted.

“Fuck off, Boyd,” Andrew snapped. Aaron laughed, warm and bright, and the sound filled the room. Nicky watched as Andrew’s gaze flicked over to his brother, the ghost of a smile flickering across his mouth. My boys, Nicky thought with a smile.

“Come on, Nicky,” Matt called. “I need someone who’ll put up a real challenge.”

“Get ready to have that fine ass of yours handed to you,” Nicky shot back.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’ve missed quite a few birthdays,” Neil said, offhandedly.

“That’s a helluva birthday present, Abram,” the man on the other end of the line remarked.

“It is,” Neil agreed. The man huffed an exaggerated sigh.

“Fine. You’ll have Roland’s head by the end of the week.”

“Thanks, Uncle Stuart,” Neil said. He could feel the cruel smile curling his lips but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was one of the monsters after all.

#just a pipe dream #the foxhole court #tfc #all for the game #all for the gay #aftg #andrew minyard #andrew joseph minyard #andreil #neil josten #neil abram josten #nicky hemmick #twinyards #minyard twins #wholesome twinyards #reveal to me your deepest desires

337 notes · View notes

philliamwrites · 4 years ago

Text

tr[U]st

Fandom: All For The Game (Nora Sakavic)

Pairing: Neil/Andrew

Tags: #soft moments, #soft boys, #post Kings Men

Words: 1.1k

Summary: The boys can be soft nd caring and I will fight anyone saying something else.

tr[U]st

When Neil awakes, he’s scrambling for the gun under his pillow to get the weight off his back.

The rush of adrenaline punches through his body and screams at him to get on his feet and fucking go, but the grip on his wrists is too strong, the weight on his torso too heavy, and he’s 0.6 seconds away from begging Nathan to spare him.

“Josten. Josten,” someone hisses above him, and then, “Neil.” And just like that, everything slides back into focus and Neil’s looking up at Andrew.

Neil’s head falls back, and he groans. “Fuck.”

Andrew doesn’t move, doesn’t look away. “You don’t say.”

They stay like that for a moment, wait for Neil’s labored breath to turn shallow and soft. Andrew lets go of Neil’s hands but apparently he’s pretty comfortable on his lap because he doesn’t move away, and Neil can’t decide if the weight is like a chain around his neck or the life line he needs. In the end, it’s good because Andrew’s weight on him is familiar; it’s something he knows how to handle.

Neil runs his hands over his face, through his hair. His forehead’s sticky with sweat and strands of wet, auburn hair slide through his fingers. He’s trying to remember the last time he’s had a calm night, but lately they’re filled with nightmares like this where the edges of dream and reality go blurry and he can’t immediately tell if he’s still with the Foxes or back in Baltimore. Neil is so adamant in drilling into his head that he’s safe, that Nathan is dead, and Riko is dead, and no one can get to him (not with Andrew around anyway) that it backfires and his imagination comes up with all sorts of gruesome scenarios portraying his mom choking on thick, black smoke, his teammates in various states of unrepairable damage, Andrew, oh, Andrew caught in a straitjacket with foreign hands all over him, but he only smiles, and smiles and doesn’t care.

Neil wants to forget those pictures, wants to claw them out of his mind. He feels like throwing up (very unfortunate for Andrew) but also like getting up and run around the campus until someone finds his passed out form lying near a dumpster (very unfortunate for Wymack). Instead he just stays on the bed, beneath Andrew and wills himself to calm down.

“Walk it off, Josten,” Andrew says. He’s slightly leaning over Neil, his fingers sprawled over his stomach. The warmth of Andrew’s hand sinks through Neil’s thin shirt and helps in calming him.

“You’ll let me?” he asks, peeking from between slightly parted fingers first at Andrew, then out of the black window. Andrew pretends to think about it, then says, “No.”

Finally, Neil relaxes against the soft mattress beneath him, takes one deep breath, then a second, and he’s convinced himself he’s fine.

Andrew tugs at one of his elbows, demanding Neil gets his hands off his face. “Talk to me, Josten.”

“I’m fi—,” Neil starts, but Andrew slaps his hand against Neil’s mouth, silencing him.

“Say it and I will kick you in your face,” Andrew threatens. Neil considers it for a split second (it will knock him out immediately minus the unpleasant dreams) but Andrew squints at him, daring him to make the wrong decision, so eventually, Neil nods. Andrew doesn’t withdraw his hand immediately, so Neil (because he’s stupid like that) pushes his tongue out and licks over Andrew’s open palm. He doesn’t really know what he expects, it’s not like Andrew would squeal like a high school girl. But what Andrews does is leisurely taking his hand back, saying “You’re disgusting” (as if Neil’s tongue hasn’t been on other body parts of him already) and wipe the saliva off on Neil’s shirt, which was only fair.

A groan escapes Neil’s lips—he’s become so bad at conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know, he’s sure his mom is currently sitting somewhere above him, chipping at pegs with Neil’s name on them, only to be reminded he doesn’t need to pretend he’s fine anymore—and he wants a smoke, but he also doesn’t want to get up because that would mean Andrew has to get off of him, and Neil’s just as addicted to Andrew’s weight on him as he is to nicotine. In the end, he decides to stay like this, his finger sneak towards Andrew’s bare, bent knees, but he doesn’t touch, not without Andrew’s permission. Either Andrew doesn’t notice Neil’s fingers in close proximity or he ignores them, because he says, “It’s getting worse, right?”

It’s not a question. It wasn’t a secret that lately Neil’s sleep was the opposite of resting and calm, but with like everything, he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it and he manages through the day thanks to Matt and Nicky providing him with coffee (at some days, Aaron even joins them, but Neil suspects it’s because he’s trying to poison Neil with caffeine).

“I’ll live,” Neil responds because he doesn’t know what else to say, and he hates to admit Andrew’s right.

Andrew shifts his weight more on Neil’s stomach. “You don’t trust me?”

“I do,” Neil immediately replies, missing how this is connected to Andrew’s statement.

“Your subconsciousness doesn’t.”

Neil rolls his eyes. “Don’t go Freud on me.” He gets it now, but he won’t give Andrew the chance to think this is something he can protect Neil from. “It’ll be over, just give me some time.” It’s a luxury, saying give me some time and knowing it’s true; he actually has time now because he has a future.

Andrew considers him for a moment, then falls beside Neil and does the unthinkable: He curls into Neil’s side and closes his eyes.

Neil’s breath catches in his throat. He feels stupid again, and asks, “You’ll stay, right?”

Andrew ignores him, tugs his hand between cheek and pillow for more comfort (Neil doesn’t understand how bones are more comfortable, but maybe just as Neil slumping his shoulders to appear invisible is a habit for him, Andrew’s still used to trying to make sleeping more comfortable with the little he has on him), and then he kicks Neil’s leg and it takes a second for Neil to realize Andrew’s actually sliding his leg between Neil’s.

Neil exhales slowly and says, “Okay”, and then just for good measure he repeats, “Okay”, because he feels that Thank You would ruin the moment and he really wants for Andrew’s leg to stay where it is.

He knows his nightmares won’t just disappear, but just like them, Andrew won’t go away as well and knowing that makes falling asleep in the darkness a lot easier.

#philliamwrites #ao3 #fanfiction #aftg #all for the game #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten

14 notes · View notes

darkblueboxs · 4 years ago

Text

Ursa Major

i.e. the beardrew fic 🐻😉

Read here or on AO3 *

“What brings you to town?” The lodge manager flashes Neil an easy smile as he holds the cabin key in one hand. They clink together just out of Neil’s reach, as though he won’t relinquish them until Neil has provided a satisfactory answer.

“Business,” Neil answers shortly, and reaches for the keys.

“Let me know if you want to squeeze a little pleasure in, too.” The manager, whose name badge reading Nicky is almost lost amongst an array of rainbow pin-badges, winks exaggeratedly. Neil keeps his expression carefully blank as he all but pries the keys from him. “Andrew will show you which cabin is yours. He’s chopping wood out back.”

Neil steps out onto the back porch of the reception building, takes one look at the guy ripping logs apart with his bare hands, and decides that he can find it himself. He tries to avert his eyes, but the man stops to watch him pass, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He looks like such a stereotypical woodsman that Neil wonders for a second if he walked straight out of a Brawny advert, muscles flexing as he heaves a lump of wood half his size onto the log pile, several days’ worth of stubble dusting his jawline gold and a glowing worker’s tan defying the encroaching winter. He’s so stocky that Neil almost misses the fact that the man is somehow shorter than him, and for a moment his brain short-circuits as he tries to match his impossible presence to his impossible height.

Andrew – because this must be Andrew – barely spares Neil’s scars a second glance, eyes catching instead on the camera swinging around Neil’s neck. Neil’s hands go to it automatically – the device is worth more than his life – but he stills as Andrew drops the log with an earth-shaking thud. “Point that thing at me and I’ll break it.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Neil takes a step back, holding his hands in the air as though proving himself unarmed. “Sorry.”

“Whatever.” He turns back to his work, and without looking at him, adds “Yours is the last on the left.”

Neil makes no effort to hide his relief as he turns and heads up towards the row of log cabins, stumbling over exposed tree roots and pushing branches out of the way where the trees have begun encroaching on the dirt path. The place is quiet, which suits Neil perfectly; he didn’t pick wildlife photography because of his love for human company, after all. Of the dozen or so suites clustered around the central building, only two or three appear to be occupied, muddy hiking gear drying on doorsteps, BMWs with kayaks and bike racks strapped to the roofs parked down at the car park below. Neil chose the single bus that runs back and forth to the town across the lake once a day over risking a car rental on the worn dirt track; for better or for worse, he’s trapped there for the night.

Not that he expects to finish his assignment in the span of a day, but old instincts cry out for getaway options. He and his mother spent months in secluded mountain ranges like this one, but they were as much a threat as they were protection. It was easier to hear of visitors as soon as they arrived in the area, but harder to blend in amongst non-existent crowds.

He dumps his rucksack on his bed – he hasn’t broken the habit of travelling light quite yet – and takes in the neat little cabin (cosier than he expected, like it leapt out of a rustic furniture catalogue) before grabbing his kit and heading out into the hills.

He loses track of time quicker than usual, as he always does when he’s in new places, busy taking in the lay of the land, figuring out which trails are worth his time and which are too packed with litter and foot traffic to be of any use. The vistas are breath-taking; glittering pearl lakes studded throughout the endless verdant valleys, mountain ranges that draw across the swirling skyline like theatre curtains. Landscape photos aren’t Neil’s strong suit, but he snaps a few anyway, just for himself. They never had photos on the run, nothing that could be used as evidence, no footprints left in their wake. Neil likes having the mementos now, thin slips of glossy film that prove that he was alive, he was there, that he was real.

Sunset has bathed the woods in rich oranges as he makes his way back to his cabin, legs aching pleasantly with the memory of a good day’s exploration. There’s a packet of instant noodles waiting in his bag and a kettle in his cabin, but the smells drifting from the eatery in the central building convince Neil to forgo solitude for an hour and cough up for a real home-cooked meal.

Either Andrew has shaved since this morning or he has an identical twin; either way, the man who serves him chunky soup and bread does so with the barest pretences of politeness. Neil ignores the chatter of the other guests and staff as much as possible, flicking through the images on his digital display as he chews through a freshly baked roll. Neil’s twin theory is proven correct when Andrew sweeps into the dining room just as dessert is being brought out, windswept and scowling. Neil watches as he begins arranging kindling in the hearth, and soon the room is glowing with dancing light. Andrew stares into the flames, and the flickering glow carves deep shadows into his features, as though his face is transformed by the light. Neil doesn’t do portraits, but if he did, it would be perfect.

He snaps his gaze away as Andrew looks up, unfortunately catching the eye of the man at the next table.

“Photography, huh?” he says, grinning. He’s muscular too. Neil wonders if there’s something in the water here. “Got any good ones?”

Neil hands him the camera in lieu of answering, trying not to twitch his fingers as the stranger handles his most valuable possession.

“Oh, shit. These are seriously good, like, professional standard. Is this what you do for a living?” He hands the camera back and offers a hand with it. “I’m Matt, by the way.”

“Neil. Yeah, I work for National Parks Magazine.”

Matt whistles. “Fancy.”

“I guess.”

“Well, I’m no expert, but those look great to me. What is it, a tourism piece?”

“Oh, no, these were just for me. I do wildlife photography.”

“Plenty of that out here. I come down most weekends, usually see a few hawks, eagles too. We get lots of bird spotters in the Spring.”

“That’s great,” says Neil, “But not what I need for this assignment.”

“How mysterious.” Matt leans his chin on his hand. “Tell me more, Mister Bond.”

“I’m looking for bears, actually.”

There’s a clatter from across the room that cuts off Matt’s reaction as Andrew’s twin drops a stack of plates.

“Did I hear you say bears?” Nicky appears at Neil’s shoulder as if from nowhere. Neil fights back the impulse to bolt. “Mine is working at the reception desk if you want me to introduce you.”

Matt snorts. “Not that kind of bear, Nicky.”

“I heard there were grizzlies up here,” Neil says. “What do you mean, there’s a bear in the reception?”

“Oh, that’s adorable. No, I just meant my boyfriend. Though he gets a bit grizzly before his first cup of coffee most mornings-”

“There aren’t any bears here,” interrupts another voice, and Neil needs to learn to stop jumping if all the staff are going to sneak up on him like this. He turns to see Andrew’s brother wiping coffee stains from his sleeves. “You might as well leave.”

“Aaron,” Nicky says, “It’s fine, he’s a photographer, he isn’t here to hunt or anything-”

“Pretty fucked up face for a nature photographer.”

“Hey-!”

“It’s fine,” Neil cuts off Matt’s objection. “The scars were my father’s doing. He loved hunting. Me, not so much.”

The group falls quiet, which is the usual reaction his explanation gets. He has never gotten used to the awkward silences that his past invariably invokes, even when he leaves out the years of running, capture, his mother’s slow and terrible death at his father’s hands, his last-minute escape, the months of FBI interrogations and his eventual release. His father had deer heads mounted in his study and Neil remembers vividly the glassy, dead eyes that seemed to watch his every move. No, Neil is not a fan of hunting; he has spent far too long being the prey.

It’s at that moment that Andrew looks up from the fireplace, and Neil can tell from his expression that he has been listening. There’s a strange understanding which has no place on this stranger’s face, and for a moment Neil feels as though he’s stuck in the amber gaze like a fly caught in a honey trap.

“Why bears?” Matt says, and his words are like a hook pulling him from a lake. Neil forces air back into his lungs and turns back to the group. Nicky’s expression has softened, eyes still on Neil’s burns, while Aaron has sunk back into disdain. “Surely there’s less dangerous things to photograph.”

“They’re not dangerous if you’re careful,” Neil replies patiently. “Treat them with respect and they’ll do the same. Besides, I like bears.”

“I hear that,” says Nicky. Aaron pops him in the back of the head, but he waves him off, undeterred. “You should talk to Andrew. He might be able to help you-” There’s a muffled thud which sounds suspiciously like Aaron aiming a kick at Nicky’s shins out of Neil’s line of sight. “-or not, you know, whatever,” he finishes lamely.

Neil glances furtively over at Andrew, who has gone back to staring into the hearth. “It’s fine,” he says, wondering why his mouth feels so dry all of a sudden. “I’m used to finding my own way.”

Desert finished and cleared away, Neil sits with Matt on the couches that occupy the other portion of the communal area along with rows of bookshelves and a desktop computer that looks as though it hasn’t been touched since the nineties. Matt flicks through more of Neil’s photos, stopping on occasion to gasp or croon, while Neil accustoms himself to trusting Matt with his camera. The coffee table is stacked high with leaflets on hiking trails which Neil sets himself to memorising as well as pamphlets on good camping etiquette and forest fire prevention. When Aaron returns and announces that the main lodge is closing for the night by abruptly flicking the lights off, Neil is surprised to realise how late it is already. The fire Andrew started in the hearth has collapsed into flaky grey embers, and when Neil steps out onto the porch the thick smell of smoke clings to his clothes.

Neil and Matt part ways for the night, but only after Matt has extracted a promise from Neil that he will let him show him some of his favourite trails the next day.

Neil thinks he may be unconscious before his head even hits the pillow, and the rustle of the forest follows him into his sleep. In his dreams, wild creatures circle his bed, close, curious, watching, waiting.

He spends most of the weekend letting Matt show him his favourite routes that weave up and down the mountain peaks. Neil wouldn’t usually tolerate so much company, but it’s clear from Matt’s eager nature that he likes having someone to talk to, and his girlfriend, he explains, is on a work placement out of state until next month. Neil is surprised to discover that he doesn’t mind Matt’s presence, and at Matt’s insistence he takes several shots of Matt posing with the valley at his back, which Neil promises to email to him for his girlfriend.

Their hike isn’t all sightseeing, however; Neil pays close attention to any tracks and prints that could point him in the direction of bears, making a note on his map of everything he spots in hope of discerning a pattern. He’s surprised to see a lot of marks close to the popular footpaths, and centred around the lodge, too. Bears usually avoid humans unless driven from their own habitat. Neil wonders if the owners have been less than careful with the bins, encouraging raiders into the foothills scavenging for food.

He spends his evenings in the main lodge, where Matt draws him into conversation with the staff and other regulars. Nicky joins them whenever he isn’t working, and will drag Aaron over when their breaks coincide. Kevin, who is renting one of the upstairs rooms in the central lodge, will occasionally be persuaded to look up from his laptop, upon which he is typing meticulous notes about conservation of historically significant ruins in the area, a topic which Neil pretends to understand on the one occasion that Kevin tries to explain it to him. Andrew, on the other hand, shows no further interest in Neil following their first encounter. Other than occasional odd jobs around the cabins, Neil still isn’t clear on what he actually does, if anything. He seems to spend most of his days out in the wilderness, although Neil and Matt never pass him on any of their walks. Neil almost asks Nicky, but thinks better of it, sensing that such a query would be met with more glee than he is comfortable with.

On Sunday, Matt packs his gear into the back of his pickup and rolls his way back towards the main road, promising to return the following weekend. Neil waves him off, surprised by how quickly the quiet chases away the hum of the engine. He distracts himself from the returning solitude by taking himself off the marked trails and deeper into the wilderness, where the trees grow thick enough to block out the sky and the trickle of springs leads him into sludgy banks that threaten to suck his boots from his feet.

Eventually the earth flattens out as Neil reaches the valley floor, and the springs pool into a small lake that winks at Neil through the trees. Neil finds an embankment to set up on, and is so absorbed in fidgeting with his lenses that he misses the faint crack of branches breaking underfoot.

A shadow looms suddenly in front of him. Neil looks up, and goes still, breath caught in his throat.

The bear hasn’t noticed him yet. He – which he must be, going by the size – is reared up on his hind legs, eight feet tall at least, nose twitching. Neil would normally be jumping at such a stroke of luck, but the shocking bright blond of the bear’s fur stills his fingers on the shutter. He would say polar bear if he didn’t know better, but he does, and they’re about a million miles too far south for that to make sense. So maybe it’s the surprising colour, or the surprise of being so lucky as to just stumble across him, but some combination of the two causes Neil to do something incredibly stupid.

He opens his mouth.

“Oh, you are beautiful.”

The bear goes still. Then he turns, hazel eyes fixing on Neil.

Neil suddenly feels very, very small. Rule one of tracking bears – don’t surprise them. Weirdly, though, this bear doesn’t react in typical bear-like fashion. There is no reflexive snarling, no intimidation, no panic. Just the faintest twitch of his ears, a huff of… irritation?

“Sorry,” Neil says automatically, then winces, because he is talking to the bear now, for god’s sake-

Then again, it isn’t like he’s doing any harm. “You are just adorable. I hope you know that you are so cute. Look at those chubby cheeks!”

And, okay, maybe he’s using the same voice he uses to talk to stray cats, but in his defence, how often does he get the chance to baby-talk a bear?!

The bear just sort of stares at him, which is… odd, probably, but as long as he isn’t snapping Neil like a toothpick Neil isn’t too concerned. The gaze is piercing, like the bear is seeing right through him, and it’s disconcerting enough that Neil almost loses his grip on the camera.

Speaking of which…

Click.

The bear… pulls a face. Neil is about to apologise again, but the words die in his mouth when he drops onto his front paws with a thud that shakes straight through the earth. The urge to run seizes Neil suddenly, hand-in-hand with a familiar burst of adrenaline, and for a moment he’s twelve years old, tripping over his own feet as his mother yanks him through the dark with heart-stopping urgency.

You can’t run from bears, is the thing.

Slowly, Neil pushes himself up the bank, leaning heavy on his arms because he doesn’t trust his legs to support him. The bear just…watches. No, glares.

All at once, the fear that seized him so suddenly is gone, and Neil lets out a shaky breath.

“Thank you,” he says, because it seems rude, almost, to do otherwise. He taps his camera. “You were amazing.”

He scrambles up the bank and back into the woods, heart thudding in time with his footsteps.

Back at the cabin, he plugs his camera into his laptop with shaking fingers. He doesn’t stop to check the photo preview on the camera’s digital display, wants to see it blown up on his laptop screen in full jpeg glory.

It’s been a while since he backed up all his pictures, and as the loading bar trickles towards 100%, Neil’s stomach starts to growl. Grumbling, Neil leaves his computer to finish compiling and heads down to the main lodge in search of food.

It’s midweek, so the dining room is emptier than usual, although Neil spots Andrew in his usual place by the fireside almost immediately. They’ve been successfully ignoring each other since the day of Neil’s arrival, but the day’s events spur him to take a seat at Andrew’s side. “Nicky said you know about bears.”

Andrew flicks a scrap of newspaper into the flames. “Nicky says a lot of things.”

“I saw…” Neil winces. This is going to sound insane. “He looked like a polar bear.”

Andrew huffs, although it’s hard to say whether in scorn or amusement. “You saw a Kermode bear. They’re a subspecies of the American black bear.”

“You see a lot of them here?”

“No.”

It isn’t that Neil thinks Andrew is lying, not exactly, but there’s something he isn’t saying. Neil knows the shape of a secret, how it weighs in one’s chest, and Andrew is keeping something big in there, bristling beneath his skin.

“He was beautiful,” Neil says. “The most beautiful I’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t care,” Andrew replies, and this time Neil swears he can see the bristling. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not? I’m a photographer. Finding beauty is my job.”

“Your job is to take pictures of shit and persuade people to pay you for it. Beauty is a construct.”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

“Exactly.”

“But not in your eye?” Neil guesses. Andrew’s brow creases in irritation. He dismisses Neil’s comment.

“What are you going to do now that you have found your precious bear?”

Neil shrugs. “Onto the next assignment. Wherever that is.”

“Sounds like a strange life.”

“I’m used to it.”

Aaron clatters into the dining room, grinding their conversation to a halt. His irritation turns to an open glare when he sees Neil at Andrew’s side, so Neil moves off to take his usual seat.

After dinner he calls his editor with an update, slouched in one of the communal couches and watching as Aaron and Nicky squabble over a game of pool.

“Neil, I’m telling you, there’s no way you saw a Kermode bear.” Robin says as paper rustles furiously on the other end of the line. “You’re on the wrong side of the continent.”

“But I did. I wish you could have seen him. He was so… calm.”

“Neil,” Robin says, “Are you sure?”

“I have the picture to prove it. I’ll send it over as soon as I’m back in my cabin. Is this, like, a big deal? Do you think there’s some kind of undiscovered subspecies, or… I don’t know, this seems like the kind of thing bear scientists would care about.”

Nicky and Aaron’s bickering suddenly falls silent. Neil doesn’t bother looking up to see why, not when Robin is snorting on the other end of the line. “Bear scientists.”

“I don’t know what they’re called. I’m just the dumbass who takes the photos.”

“Maybe they’ll name it after you. The Josten bear.”

Neil winces. “Poor bear.”

“Alright. I’ll be waiting at my desk. But I swear, if this is another prank or something-”

“I would never,” Neil says innocently. “I know you find my pranks un-bear-able.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Robin says, and promptly hangs up.

He’s eager to deliver on his promise as soon as possible, but Nicky catches him on his way to the door. Aaron disappeared at some point while Neil was on the phone, which is the only reason he accepts Nicky’s offer of a drink on the house, even if he won’t be persuaded from his soft drink of choice.

“That sounded like a big deal,” Nicky says, gesturing at Neil’s phone while not meeting his eyes. Once again, Neil’s neck prickles with the sense that something is being kept from him.

“Apparently I’ve found a bear species a million miles from where it should be,” Neil says. “It could be a big deal for you, too. Researchers coming to the area means more business for you, right?”

“Wow, yeah, sure.” Nicky’s smile is as pasty as it is wide. “Brilliant.”

“Speaking of,” says Neil. “I’ll be checking out a few days early. If you see Matt, can you tell him I’m sorry I missed him?”

“Sure,” says Nicky, although Neil isn’t sure he’s really listening. Neil glances at the amber liquid swirling in the bottom of Nicky’s glass and wonders if it’s stronger than it looks.

The temperature has dropped sharply in the time it took Neil to eat his dinner, and as he trudges back uphill to his cabin on weary legs the wind cuts through his light gear like a blade. His cabin windows spill orange on the path, a lamp left on, dumb, wasteful, isn’t he always complaining about light pollution-?

Neil stops dead a foot from his cabin door. He knows, knows, knows, that someone has been in since he last was there. The lodge offered daily cleaning services, but Neil had opted out for the duration of his stay, uneasy about strangers having access to his belongings even now that he has nothing left to hide. He wants to believe that they made a mistake in the cleaning schedule, but the same gut instinct telling him someone has been in his cabin tells him that it was no accident. Something is wrong.

Neil pushes the door open with the lightest press of his fingers. Adrenaline hums through him, old instincts reawakening as he prepares to be attacked.

The cabin is empty. No, not empty; the furniture, his clothes, phone charger, hiking gear, all still there…

But no laptop. And no camera.

Neil swears viciously. Before he knows it, he’s back at the central lodge, even though all the lights are out and they’re clearly closed for the night. Neil’s hand hovers over the bell at the front desk as the haze of his panic and fury lifts. They’re in the middle of nowhere, meaning the thief was either another lodger or a member of staff. Any accusations he makes won’t go anywhere.

Neil thinks of Aaron disappearing after his phone call, and instead of ringing the bell he clenches his hand into a fist.

The staff and permanent lodgers live over the main building, and although Neil has never seen the upper floor he can tell which windows are theirs by the glow on the other side of the curtains. The walls are made of thick, horizontal tree trunks that make for easy grips. Neil barely has his foot lodged against the first rivulet when he is caught in amber torchlight.

“Can I help you?” Andrew says rhetorically.

Neil drops back to the ground, teeth grinding together. If Andrew’s brother has resorted to a life of crime, there’s no way his twin hasn’t noticed. “Just looking for my things.”

“You won’t find them up there.” Andrew’s eyes flick up. “That’s Nicky and Eric’s room. I can only imagine what horrors would await you.”

“Which is Aaron’s?”

“You won’t find anything in his, either.”

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” Neil snaps. Andrew’s expression is infuriatingly impassive, and Neil knows that arguing any longer will be as productive as shouting at a brick wall. “Tell your cousin I won’t be checking out early after all. It turns out I have more work to do.”

Andrew clicks the torch off, plunging them both into sudden darkness. “I’m not your messenger boy.” Even in the dark, Neil can feel heavy hazel eyes burning into him.

“I don’t care.” Neil storms back off to his cabin, not waiting for a response. He sends Robin an apologetic text and drops onto his bed. Half-formed plans buzz around his mind like flies, but when he eventually falls asleep, it’s with the memory of a ghostly-white bear looking into his very soul. * Thanks for reading! Chapter two is on its way. <3

#andreil #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg #tfc #my fic

18 notes · View notes

aftgficrec · 4 years ago

Note

Do you have any Protective Neil or Andrew fics? Btw I love the fact that you made this blog it's a life saver

We’ve got quite a lot! - S

Protective Andrew here

Neil being protective of Andrew here

Neil defends Andrew to the Foxes here

Neil fights and wins here

‘on the tip of my tongue (say something)’ series here

‘Back to the Start’ here

‘Every Time A Bell Rings’ here

‘Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms)’ here

‘The Nameless Monster’ here

‘Black As Is The Raven, He’ll Get A Partner’ here

‘Light my cigarette’ here

‘you're not next before forever’ here

‘full offense but that is the stupidest thing’ here

‘Where the Night Takes Us’ here

‘Fighting Words’ here

‘like real people do’ here

‘monster (under the bed)’ here

‘Such a Fool for Sacrifice’ here

‘picking up mob bosses’ series here

‘Can You Feel Me? (I'm Here)’ here

‘Neil's first injury and Andrew's first deal’ here

‘I see who you are’ here

‘in the common tongue’ here

‘i'll take care of you’ here

‘Miss Me’ here

Echo by likearecord [Rated T, 9126 words, complete, 2020]

Neil gets drugged at Eden's. Again. They get him back quickly, but the parallels fuck with everyone and reveal what happened with Nicky the first time around.

But Andrew remains flawed, so doesn’t know anything is happening until he hears Nicky gasp. Nicky makes a lot of unnecessary noises, so this one isn’t especially concerning—not until Nicky’s hand flashes out to grip Andrew’s arm and he says, “Andrew,” with such strained urgency that Andrew’s head erupts into a riot of alarms.

He follows Nicky’s pointed finger and sees, through the thick forest of bodies, Neil. With some guy. Kissing. He’s out of his stool almost before he can consciously register the scene, leaving the scarred black metal toppling to the ground behind him and shoving into the crowd. Something is very wrong. Neil had been too still. Too loose. An unstringed puppet. Andrew knows what Neil looks like when he wants to kiss someone, and that—that isn’t it.

tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: implied/referenced attempted rape/noncon, tw: nonconsensual kissing

some ghosts are real enough (to be felt) by divadrab [Rated M, 4124 words, incomplete, last updated Nov 2020]

Andrew Doe got himself in a juvenile detention center to protect his brother.

He did not expect to meet good people, find his family, and fall in love.

A ghost!au where Neil Josten in a ghost and Andrew is helplessly in love

tw: implied/referenced self-harm, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

How To Be Whole Again by AgentCoop [Rated T, 2009 words, complete, 2020]

When the Foxes play USC on their home turf, Neil finds himself in California for the first time since burying his mother.

He's close enough to say goodbye.

***

Or, Andrew says "I love you" without a single word.

Can he play? by All_for_the_andreil [Rated T, 2190 words, complete, 2020]

Andrew finds Aaron in his dorm, doing something on his laptop. He looks up at Andrew without the slightest hint of interest. “What?”

“Neil’s sick.”

Aaron’s expression doesn’t change. “Sucks to be him, I guess.”

—

Neil gets sick and Andrew isn’t sure what’s wrong with him. But his pre-med twin could help, right?

It’s always yes, until it’s no by All_for_the_andreil [Rated T, 2231 words, complete, 2020]

The monsters go to Eden’s and Andrew’s drink gets spiked

- or -

The first time Neil tells Andrew no

tw: nonconsensual drug use

Reputation by andrewminyqrd [Not Rated, 1461 words, complete, 2017]

Andrew's reputation in the exy world isn't exactly good, and Neil has never cared.

Until the rumors got a little too close to heart.

94 notes · View notes

cloudysonder · 4 years ago

Text

Home (Andrew Minyard/Neil Josten)

Summary:

Neil had never known family. He knew the definition of it in four different languages and knew the word for it in twice as many. He never understood it, and probably never would.

But, looking out to what seemed like a sea of people in one room, looking into the eyes and the faces of people who would fight for him, people who he would fight for, and home, in the form of blonde hair and an uncaring stare that was a cocktail of both, he guessed that perhaps it would feel a little like this.

...

Set in the cabin vacation after Baltimore; drunk, honest, sorta sappy Neil (it's Neil) realizing that he's come home, and hoping, for the first time in his life, to stay.

Also: Drunk Neil is excellent at flirting, Andrew wants nothing, and they both give the Foxes heart attacks.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24332473

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neil looked around the small table, crowded over by Foxes. He brushed his thumb over the shot Andrew had poured for him and stared out into what would've seemed like a sea of strangers, if not for the past year.

Now, he knew their names, their stories, their unwavering determination, and their inexplicable willingness to hold on to him, holding him tight with fierce words and fiercer glares at the things he'd been running away from all his life.

Neil had never known family. He'd known blood, sure, known his place as the Butcher's son, carried his father's name in his own, an unescapable shackle on him, and he'd needed to run, to get away, to change it, but not in the ways that mattered.

Blood was a curse, an inconsistent axing pendulum that'd he'd known since birth, and he'd run away from it all his life.

"It's dangerous." His mother's vicious snarl seeped into his bones whenever he stepped out of line, and they ran, always ran, because they hadn't had a choice, had they? But they stopped.

The smell of his mother's burning body on the beach still wrapped its tendrils around his head during the night, but if he had the control to smother his grief, he'd feel almost happy for her. She stopped. It was forced, sure, and Neil knew the tremor of force rushing through his legs a forced stop brought better than anyone. But she stopped.

Neil did too. He'd chosen it, over the terrified safety, over the lonely nights, over his mother's whispered memories.

"It's dangerous. "

Neil had the proof carved into his body. He curled his fingers around his shot, ignoring the sharp bursts of pain at the burns, and tilted his head back to let the alcohol fall down his throat. The burn in his throat distracted from his wounds, and he looked up at the Foxes again.

Matt, ever amiable, ever protective, had his arm around Dan, rubbing soothing circles into her back as he smiled, honest and relieved and so damn open that Neil felt the same relief bubble inside him. Dan was bared fangs and sturdy pillars of support, holding up a team that was like a raggedy old shack, all rotting planks and broken pieces that would've crumbled if not for her.

Renee and Allison were fierce stories wrapped in their own versions of redirection; Renee with her soft words and kind stare, and Allison with her perfect makeup and her flawless wardrobe. They'd both given Neil so much honesty it scared him.

Nicky downed shots like water, dancing to a nonexistent beat as the jokes and quips and cheerful smiles seemed to flow out of him, and Neil appreciated the mindless sunshine he always offered, even if he never laughed at his jokes. Aaron and Kevin stood to the side, a clump of exasperation and cynicism, even if Kevin was too drunk to roll his eyes properly.

Neil had been given their stories, even if they didn't offer them, and the two had never been especially good at transparency. But they'd fought for themselves alone for so long, and Neil would join their battle if it was ever offered to him.

The picture of happiness in garish orange and white colors in the nicest kitchen Neil had ever seen would've made him feel like a passing onlooker, the way he'd been for such a long time, if it wasn't for the way Andrew's intent stare fell on him.

A year ago, it'd look the same to Neil as his other stares. The Neil now had the memory of Andrew's lips on his, his steady hand on the back of his neck, his keys and a phone weighing his pockets down. The Neil now knew all of Andrew's expressions even when Andrew didn't, because somewhere along the line, Neil had stopped running because Andrew was home.

Andrew quirked an eyebrow up at him, an almost imperceptible question. Neil pushed his shot glass towards him in response, and Andrew rolled his eyes before placing the bottle of whiskey in front of him.

“Staring,” Andrew mouthed to him, but no explicit complaint followed. Neil tried not to smile as he poured whiskey in his shot glass and knocked the swallow back.

Neil had never known family. He knew the definition of it in four different languages and knew the word for it in twice as many. He never understood it, and probably never would.

But, looking out to what seemed like a sea of people in one room, looking into the eyes and the faces of people who would fight for him, people who he would fight for, and home , in the form of blonde hair and an uncaring stare that was a cocktail of both, he guessed that perhaps it would feel a little like this.

The heat from the whiskey traveled from his throat and settled in a pleasant lump in his stomach, warmth pooling in his chest. The warm tears slipped out before Neil could process it, and he saw Andrew immediately stiffen, the familiar feeling of calloused fingers on the back of his neck before he could blink.

The rest of the team reacted in a ripple, Matt immediately noticing and concern spilling across his face before it reached his lips, and the girls noticing the shift in Matt’s expression before softening at Neil. Nicky silenced, and Kevin and Aaron watched from the sidelines, inscrutable. Andrew knelt down in front of him, and Neil watched their gaze flicker to Andrew in varying degrees of interest as they backed down.

Neil looked at Andrew, his expression deceptively blank as concern shaded his eyes. There were gears turning behind them, Neil knew, a list being formed of the people to hurt and the people to kill, coldness directed towards Neil’s enemies, never towards him, but always for him. He looked at Andrew’s hazel eyes, his pupil focusing on Neil with pinpoint precision, always looking at him, at Neil Josten, never Nathaniel Wesninski.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked from behind Andrew, his words tinged with worry. Neil nearly gave him the automatic “I’m fine,” but the words stuck to the roof of his mouth as he swallowed and tasted whiskey, physical proof of his decision for honesty, of the trust he’d been given and finally returned.

Neil felt the beaming smile spread on his face as he placed his hand on top of Andrew’s on the back of his neck. A wet laugh escaped him, and he recognized the sound as genuine happiness.

He watched the team freeze in surprise and looked at all of them as he spoke.

“I can’t believe I get to see you all again.” Neil felt the tears stutter on their way down over his smiling face. The alcohol had loosened his tongue, but it was still startling to hear the truth in the air.

He’d held his self-directed grief for his future inside him for months, and the relief was washing over him in waves. He watched his team soften in front of him, watched the same smile cross their faces as they looked at each other and cheered him. Nicky and Matt had started crying openly, while Renee and Dan blinked at misty eyes. Allison grinned while she poured Neil another shot, and Andrew got up but didn’t leave his side.

The next shots went down smoothly, as Neil leaned into the conversations around him, Exy-related or not. His mind was pleasantly fuzzy, his tongue loose and his expression looser, as he savored the hum of the alcohol, because he could, now that there was nothing he had to hide.

He’d zoned out of a particular conversation about the actors both Nicky and Eric agreed were on the “list,” and found himself observing Andrew again. He studied his broad shoulders, that Andrew had let Neil collapse on after Christmas at Evermore, his hands and calloused fingers that would rake through Neil’s hair, that would wrap around Neil’s body while the cigarette smoke on the roof swirled around them, the lips that tasted like smoke and ice-cream and chocolate, and Neil hated all three things but treasured the taste that he’d come to associate with Andrew.

Andrew, with the soft tufts of blonde hair that glowed in the sunlight, that Neil loved to thread his hands through. Andrew, with the hazel green eyes that shone green in the center and faded to caramel brown near the edges, the eyes that offered him his demons, and the black armband covered arms that accepted his.

“...pretty,” Neil breathed and watched Andrew’s eyes widen in surprise by a millimeter. He savored the way Andrew’s hands stilled over the shot he was pouring, and the way the confusion squinted his eyes. Neil smiled, and let his cheek rest against his hand. “You’re so pretty, Andrew.”

A hiccup followed, and Neil ignored it.

He was vaguely aware of Nicky, choking on a high-pitched squeal behind him, while Allison smirked, snickering at Dan and Matt as they both beamed.

“You’re drunk,” Andrew responded in German, and his cheek twitched in a way Neil had learned to interpret as amusement. Neil blinked slowly, as if comprehending his words, before he switched to German after him, and counted off his thoughts on his fingers.

“I like your eyes,” Neil started, and a wave of fondness rushed through him at the way Andrew rolled them. “And your arms. And your hair. And the way you play Exy.”

“Junkie,” Andrew interjected.

Neil felt a surge of something in his chest, a warm feeling that settled in his heart and helped weigh him down, and the dopiest smile spread itself across his face. There was an inexplicable urge to convey the feeling to Andrew, but the words were stuck in the warm syrup in his chest.

Three words. He’d heard them before, in the panicked whispers of his mother right before he passed out from the pain of her beatings. He’d remembered them in his bruised wrists, his bleeding wounds, in the shape of his mother’s back as she dragged him behind her, protecting him from everything but herself.

He didn’t want to put those same three words to Andrew, who stood behind him, instead of in front, who told him to stop running, who promised to protect him and pressed warm keys into his hands. He had offered him trust, he had given him a home. It was unique, this thing they had, and so, the words that fell out, almost naturally, were just so.

“I hate you,” Neil let the words escape and heard the way they were covered with the syrup in his chest and studied the way Andrew almost smirked, wanting to burn the image into his head.

Nicky was translating his words to the upperclassmen in the background, while they murmured in bewildered excitement. Andrew flicked a cool gaze over them, non-threatening and observing, and they quieted out of habit.

“I want to touch your hair. Yes or no?” Neil made sure his words came out in a crisp and steady German, and Andrew’s responding nod got him out of his seat immediately, nearly tripping over the counter in his haste.

He buried his hands in Andrew’s silken blonde tufts and raked his fingers through the strands. Neil watched Andrew sigh, exasperated, and the surge of warmth engulfed him again, only encouraged by the whiskey in his veins.

Neil thought of Andrew, and the last game he’d seen him play; sweat glistening under the artificial light, slamming away every shot at goal the Bearcats made, focused gaze analyzing each player, perfectly matching them to memories of plays and strategies he’d watched weeks before. Neil remembered what he thought was his last look at Andrew, that he’d burned into his head, a panting, exhausted Andrew, beautiful even then, as he’d told him “Thank you,” and “You were amazing,” while imagining his kisses and his protection and his truths and Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.

“I can’t believe I get to look at you again,” Neil let the free token of honesty hang between them, and Andrew only stared at him blankly before replying.

“You already said that.”

“Not to you,” Neil countered, and let himself drink in Andrew’s hard edges that kept him grounded, and the glimpses of softness he’d catch in between.

“You’re staring,” Andrew repeated.

“You let me.”

“I don’t ‘let’ you do anything.” Andrew sighed, his tone deceptively blank. Neil took the sentence as the rare admission it was, the little peek of softness in his roughness. Giddiness pumped through his veins.

“You want nothing.” The smile on Neil’s face threatened to tear his face in two, pulling on his burns and cuts, but he couldn’t stop it. “You really do. You want nothing.”

Neil caught the start of a small smile on Andrew’s face, followed by a derisive snort and a glance towards the Foxes, who were staring at them intently, varying degrees of excited surprise in their expressions. Nicky, particularly, looked close to tears, as he continued rambling translations to a hyperfocused Allison, Dan and Matt, while Renee looked towards them fondly.

“Yes or no?” Andrew leaned in closer.

“Always yes.”

Andrew pressed a chaste kiss to Neil’s lips, and the familiarity of it did nothing to contain the ripples of heat that spread through his chest in response. When Andrew pulled away, Neil unconsciously followed him, leaning further in. Neil was acutely aware of the tinge of amusement in Andrew’s face, and the high-pitched squeal of a drunk Nicky behind him.

Andrew walked towards the door, whispering a quick “Bedroom,” in Neil’s ear before leaving.

Neil turned to the Foxes and began a clumsy “Uh, I think I need to, Andrew’s gonna, I might just--”

“Neil. You are fooling literally no one. It might just be the alcohol, but you’re smiling so wide I think your stitches are gonna pop. Shoo,” Allison waggled a perfectly manicured hand at him.

Dan and Nicky were snickering to each other beside her, and Matt looked so happy for him that Neil felt a prickle of embarrassment seep into his cheeks. He looked towards Kevin, who was being held upright by an annoyed Aaron.

“Um,” Neil started eloquently.

Aaron got the message, shifting under Kevin to hold him more easily. He huffed out a despairing sigh and looked straight at Neil. I’ll take care of Kevin, his expression said. Neil was shocked into stillness for a second before Aaron snapped out a frustrated “ Go, you dolt.”

Neil went.

Andrew was waiting for Neil on the bed, already tucked under the covers with a book in his lap. He flicked a bored gaze over Neil and made no move towards him. The picture was startlingly domestic, a shot from passing glances at family magazines in convenience stores Neil had ducked in and out of growing up.

That idealistic image of a two-person bed, of having someone safe to fall asleep next to and someone to wake up to, was in reach for him now, just two steps away from him, in the form of Andrew bathed in moonlight reading a book, his eyes greener in the blue light, his hair softer.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Andrew said, after a long moment. Neil didn’t know what he looked like. “We’re not doing anything today.”

Neil finally made the two steps, changing into the comfortable pajamas he found in the closet before slipping in the bed beside Andrew. He hummed in response.

“I don’t mind,” Neil replied, and he meant it. Andrew’s presence beside him in the too-soft bed wrapped him in a feeling of safety he thought he’d forgotten, and his body gave off a pleasant heat. He felt the sleepiness settle into his bones, aided by alcohol, and vaguely wondered if Andrew didn’t want to do anything because it wouldn’t be the best for his recovery to immediately return from a rough place to another, albeit much safer, one. He wondered if Dr. Dobson had told him that.

“Not Bee,” Andrew spoke from beside him, and Neil knew he must’ve been murmuring his thoughts out loud. “Tonight was my call.”

Neil burrowed deeper in the blankets beside him, relishing the warmth inside him, the warmth beside him, and pressed his lips to Andrew’s neck gently before pulling away. It was barely a second, but, for once, Neil didn’t feel Andrew stiffen beneath him, and the triumph in his chest made him huff out a small laugh. It was the thank you that Neil didn’t need to say, and he knew Andrew understood.

“Let’s go to the beach next time,” Neil murmured into the pillow, and he knew Andrew would catch all the meanings hidden behind it.

Stuart could very well fail in the negotiations, and the chance of Neil being killed by the Moriyamas was still very real. The if there is a next time went unsaid.

Neil had told Andrew about his mother’s cremation on the beach, had known that Andrew caught the way he stiffened whenever the place was mentioned, but he also knew that Dr. Dobson had suggested to all the Foxes to try to overwrite their bad memories with good ones, ones worth remembering. The threat of the Moriyamas was still palpable, but Neil had decided to stop running months ago, had decided to ditch his future for the present.

In the room, beside Andrew, Neil went one step further, and let himself imagine a future. He imagined falling asleep beside Andrew for the rest of his life and blinked slowly, watching the way his eyes raked quickly through the blocks of text in the book. He imagined nights of Andrew finishing books and starting new ones, of nights of snuggling into his warmth and his safety.

He let himself fall asleep, feeling home, and hoped, like he had never hoped for anything before, that he could keep it.

#andreil #aftg #aftg fanfic #andreil fanfic #fluff #tooth rotting fluff #happy foxes #neil deserves the world he is my son and i love him #drunk neil josten #emotional neil josten #found family #domestic fluff #yes i know i finished writing this like 2 weeks ago lol i suck #i forget i have a tumblr sometimes #neil x andrew #andrew x neil

84 notes · View notes

danwylds · 4 years ago

Text

Ocean at the end of the lane au (but you don’t have to read the book)

Once again I’m writing bullet point fics

If you haven’t read the book uh. this shit is wild

It starts with Neil going to his childhood hometown (I guess Baltimore then? Not really a lotta places here for this story to take place tho) for a funeral

I literally don’t care who died

He’s walking around town, just thinking abt his life growing up and being angry

He deserves to be

Anyways he remembers the one good thing about growing up here, and it’s Andrew Minyard, the boy who said the pond behind his house was really an ocean

Neil thinks about him and finds himself at the minyards house

He kinda looks around, realising that maybe he shouldn’t of showed up randomly

But it doesn’t matter, bc Nicky Hemmick sees him

He and Nicky walk together to the pond and it’s nice

Neil starts thinking about the time a man who worked for his father stole Nathan’s car and committed suicide in the back seat, after gambling away Nathan’s money

He was around 15 or so during that time

I’m pulling number out of my ass rn

but hdbcnndjd it lets a spirit show up to neils world like hey,, how y’all doin?

Because of the reason the man died, it’s purpose is to leave money for people in terrible and unpleasant ways

This leads Neil to wake up in the middle of the night, choking on a coin

if I were Neil I would simply lay down and die

rip to him but I’m different

Anyways he doesn’t trust his father for shit so he goes to his neighbors

It’s Andrew baby!

Andrew is like okay but I’m gonna call you a dumbass this whole time and you have to come w me to find this fucked up spirit and bind it

And also you can’t let go of my hand

They both hate that part

Drake still happened, just earlier

And Nicky took in the twins earlier

Ig nicky is older in this au

whatever

ANWAYS.

They talk on the way, exchanging quiet truths

It starts from what the spirit did and ends in neil asking why Andrew and Aaron live with Nicky

Andrew says that monsters aren’t always supernatural

Neil doesn’t ask anything after that

They’re goin to find this shit spirit when something almost attacks the 2

Neils first instinct is to be defensive so he lets go of Andrews hand

As soon as he does something gets stuck in his foot and Andrew is like I don’t even care at this point

They don’t have any luck ig so they’re like whatever we’ll try again later (or never talk to each other again)

Neil gets home and pulls what might be a worm out of his foot

rip to him bc part of it gets stuck

He wakes up the next day to his mom telling him she’s starting a new job and a woman named Lola is gonna look after him

So Lola is

yeah she’s Lola she’s a bitch

Lola seduces his father and wins over his people

Neil spends most of his time locked in his room avoiding her

What small fraction of safety Neil felt is ruined when Lola asks Nathan to drown him in the bath

It doesn’t work, obviously

also yeah that’s a real point in the book I didn’t just make that up

Anyways ndncjdm he stays in his room even more, only coming out when it’s some sort of fancy event or smth he has to show up for

He decides to do what he does best

He runs

He runs to the minyard/Hemmick farm, and Nicky takes him in and cleans up the scratches and bruises he has

Nicky also gets the wormhole out of Neils foot

Apparently Lola left it behind as an escape path

This book is weird as hell jfc

Nicky calls Andrew to help neil try and talk something out with Lola

They offer her a way for her to leave peacefully, to a less dangerous world

She doesn’t believe anything could hurt her

She’s IMMEDIATELY attacked by “hunger birds” who are basically scavengers

The hunger birds tell neil they gotta eat his heart out bc a piece of Lola is still connected to him

Andrew is like well cant let the only kid who hasn’t stepped over my boundaries die

He drags Neil to the ocean and tells him to get in

While in there, Neil understands the everything about the world and humans and nature and emotion

He gets out and the memory of it all dips

Andrew makes a promise to protect Neil from the hunger birds, telling him the farm is safe and it’s all very soft

haha get fucked you two bc the hunger birds start eating the world to force him off the property

Neil does leave the property, giving himself to the hunger birds to save Nicky and the twins from them

Andrew does NOT let this slide and jumps between the birds and Neil

He’s near death by the end, and when Nicky finds out he goes batshit and threatens the hunger birds with death that’s a very real possibility for them !

The three take Andrew to the ocean and place him there, and Aaron tells him that he’ll rest and heal until he can come back to this world

Neils memory of this fades, leading him to believe Andrew moved to Australia

He jolts back to the present when Nicky puts his hand on his shoulder, smiling sadly at him

Nicky hints that the hunger birds got his heart after all, but Andrews sacrifice healed him

The power of love, as they say

His heart has been growing back for a while now, it’s almost healed

Again, he begins to forget

He tells Nicky to say hello to Andrew if he contacts from Australia

#aftg #andrew minyard #all for the game #neil josten #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #tfc #the foxhole court #this stupid fucking post took three days I never wanna look at it again

12 notes · View notes

kar3npage · 5 years ago

Text

The Wonder of You

Neil is in complete denial that he is struggling with panic attacks. Andrew thinks that a support animal would be good. They figure it out together.

Read it on ao3 here

“-was a disgrace. What the hell were you thinking out there? Nicky, start focusing on the ball, not Aaron! Allison, too much aggression-”

Neil’s brain was working in overdrive, switching between here and a house in Baltimore, filled with haunted memories.

“-I don’t know what the hell that was-”

A flash of light reflecting off of a knife blade. Andrews obnoxiously orange jersey in the corner of his eye. His mom shouting, morphing into his dad, and then into Wymack.

He can’t get his eyes to focus properly. He’s trying desperately to focus on Wymacks half-time lecture, but his eyes keep focusing on the space between them.

“Neil-”

He doesn’t think, just acts. Tossing an arm up in front of himself, Neil shrinks into the couch and waits. The waiting is always the worst part, he thinks. The waiting is torture.

Neil’s brain catches up slowly, noticing the horrible silence that pervades the room and Wymacks sad exhaustion as he puts his hands in full view so that Neil can see that they aren’t there to hurt him.

There are always times when the foxes get that desolate look on their face when Neil does something that shows his trauma, but the pity is suffocating this time. For once in his life, he completely forgets about the game and runs out the door into the full but empty parking lot.

He can’t run. His mind is present enough to know that. Nothing could break Andrews trust faster than leaving, and he knows that if he takes one more step into the parking lot his instinct will take over. And Neil knows that once he decides to run, it’s hard to convince himself that it’s safe enough to stop.

He sits down in the center of the parking lot, body shaking and breath coming in quick gasps. He thinks of the appointments that he has begrudgingly been showing up to with Betsy, how she tells him to pay attention to what’s going on around him.

That would probably work, if he could feel the concrete underneath him or hear anything besides his horrible wheezing.

It takes him a moment to realize that someone is out there with him, speaking slowly. He startles at first, flinching backwards before recognizing the soothing voice.

“You are Neil Abram Josten, you are at the Foxhole Court playing a game of Exy, because you are a striker,” Andrew says calmly, slowly inching towards Neil. Neil closes his eyes and uses all of his energy to listen to Andrews voice.

After a while, Andrew is right beside but not quite touching Neil, and Neil nods quickly in the hopes that Andrew will touch him, ground him.

Andrew edges closer so that he is between Neils legs, and gently pushes Neils head to rest against his chest. He wishes that he could enjoy this more, but now that the pervading panic has left, he feels empty and cold. Andrew puts one hand protectively around his back and the other tangles itself in Neil's hair. At some point Neil recognizes that Andrew isn’t wearing his equipment anymore. He can’t bring himself to care about the game, it’s too exhausting to even think about standing right now.

They sit there until Neil can feel the pebbles from the concrete digging into his legs and the discomfort of his padding constricting his movement. He sighs and sits up, missing the warmth when Andrew lets his hands fall away. Andrew’s hair is damp from a shower and he’s dressed in his normal clothes. He can hear people starting to stream out of the building on the other side.

They look at each other for a moment before Andrew stands up and offers a hand to Neil. The idea of showering and changing seems daunting, especially since he knows the team will be in the locker room too. He can just imagine the comments that will be going around about him from the new foxes.

However, when they get into the locker room, it’s already empty.

It’s not until they’re standing under the spray in the shower than Andrew speaks up again.

“I did some research,” he says, watching Neil with a tiny furrow between his brows. Neil feels a bit guilty that he’s the one that put that there. He hums to let Andrew know that he is listening. “There are animals that can help with panic attacks. Like dogs.”

Andrew looks intently at Neil, who shakes his head dramatically. “Absolutely not. I don’t need some sort of...of… I don’t need a babysitter.”

Andrew frowns. “They aren’t babysitters, they just help with PTSD.”

Neil scrubs a hand through his hair aggressively. He hasn’t really been using that term. He knows that he has it, knows that there are things in his past that probably no one could go through without getting it, but he refuses to admit it. Betsy has been slowly working him up to it, giving him work books to use and a journal that he has stubbornly left empty on the bedside table.

“Well, I don’t need that either.” Neil can feel the anxiety build again, so he starts counting in French. Andrew can read his expression, and he lets the subject drop. Neil wishes that the subject hadn’t been introduced to begin with.

Unfortunately, now that it’s been mentioned, Neil just can’t get it out of his head. He is completely exhausted, and guilty for letting the team down by not being able to play the whole last half and for flinching from Wymack again. But Andrews words keep running through his head.

He isn’t sure exactly what it is that has offended him so much with the suggestion. He wonders if maybe Andrew is tired of holding him up all the time. He wonders what it would be like to have something that he was responsible for, like a child. The thought makes him want to vomit.

He doesn’t sleep that night.

Andrew hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Neil. That isn’t unusual, since Neil pops up in his head all the time. This time, he keeps thinking about his denial of his PTSD, and the way he reacted to the suggestion of a support animal.

He had gotten the idea from a movie, strangely enough. A character had an emotional support dog, and Andrew had immediately started researching the steps that it would take to get one for Neil.

He had made sure that they would be able to keep it in the dorms, checked all of the paperwork that would be necessary, and learned about the training that it would need to be able to help Neil with his panic attacks.

At no point during this process did he think that Neil would react so strongly. Sure, there was always the chance that he would argue against the need, but the poorly concealed panic in his eyes was a different story.

Andrew was still cursing himself for nearly sending Neil into another spiral after the horrible one during the game.

This morning had been quiet. Kevin was worried about Neil and showed it by snapping at Neil for letting the team down. Neil looked like he was going to throw up his breakfast, and his eyes were shadowed and far away. Yet he still insisted on going to practice, and then class after.

Bee’s office was as warm and welcoming as always. Sunlight glinted off of the glass figurines on her bookshelves, and the room smelt of hot chocolate and some sort of lavender cleaning product.

It was familiar, and Andrew breathed it in while Bee spoke about her day.

“Is there something that you wanted to speak about in particular today Andrew?” Bee smiled as she passed over the mug of hot chocolate.

“Neil.”

Bee nods and gets comfortable, waiting for Andrew to find the right words. He has always struggled with choosing his words, since he wants them to be exactly right.

“He had a panic attack yesterday during the game. Wymack scared him during halftime.”

Bee nods and tilts her head while Andrew tries to figure out what he wants to ask her. He doesn’t want to tell Bee more than Neil would be comfortable with, even though Neil had given him to go ahead to say whatever he wanted about him during appointments.

“I brought up the idea of getting a support animal,” Andrew finally says. “And he did not like that idea.”

“Okay. Did he say anything about why he doesn’t like that idea?”

Andrew shifts. He doesn’t usually have this difficult of a time speaking to Bee, but it’s harder when it’s about Neil. “I almost made him have another panic attack. He said he didn’t want to be babysat.”

Bee nods again. Andrew wonders if she ever has neck issues with all the nodding she does during the day. “Perhaps we could come up with a way to explain what a support animal does, and why you think it would be helpful for him to have one? It sounds like maybe Neil has a different idea of what a support animal would do than you do, so if we can find a way to communicate your idea differently, Neil might accept it.”

They spend the rest of the session coming up with a script for Andrew to broach the topic again. He isn’t entirely convinced that it will work.

Neils bad day passes a few days later. He isn’t sure what caused it, or why it lasted so long this time. He can’t help but feel a bit irritated with himself for wallowing for so long. He’s grouchy with Betsy at his next appointment, and she gives him another workbook for him to try. This one has less writing and more space for him to use. It even has spots where it encourages him to doodle. He feels like a child looking at it, and he can’t meet Andrew’s eyes when he meets him at the car after the appointment.

It’s days later before he cracks the workbook open again. He had apologized to Wymack before practice, and he couldn’t get the kind way that Wymack spoke to him out of his mind.

“I’m not mad, kid. I’m worried about you,” Wymack had said gruffly. He had then told him that if he needed anything, he was there for him. Both of them left the meeting red faced and uncomfortable. It felt like a miracle that Wymack didn’t try to do the half side hug thing that he did when Dan was sad sometimes.

He waits until the dorm is empty before he pulls out the workbook. His homework is sitting beside him so that he can pretend he was working on that instead if anyone comes in. He isn’t sure why it bothers him so much to think of anyone knowing that he was doing this, but his face burns every time he thinks about the book that had been hidden away under his clothes in the drawer.

He reads each paragraph closely, having to take breaks constantly to get his emotions under control. The parts where he can write and draw are easier, and he gets lost in it for a while.

Until Andrew walks in, that is. He doesn’t notice the figure leaning against the door jam at first, and he freezes once he does.

He gives Andrew a look that would be close to a deer in headlights, one hand reaching out to cover the page that he was currently drawing on. Andrew looks more relaxed than he has in ages, and a corner of his mouth twitches up when he sees Neils expression.

“Do you want me to go?” he says.

Neil blushes and looks down at the book before shaking his head slowly. Andrew grabs his book and climbs onto the bed beside him, getting comfortable before slowly reaching up to touch Neils back. Neil leans back into the touch, and Andrew starts rubbing his back slowly, making sure to keep his gaze completely on his book.

After a while, Neil turns his attention back to the page he was working on, and they sit in the room until Kevin gets back for practice.

A week later, Andrew still hasn’t used the script that him and Bee came up with. She asks him about it at every appointment, and just gives him a knowing look every time he admits that he hasn’t brought it up yet.

He is contemplating it again as he walks home from class. The thought derails when he sees Neil standing in the center of the living room when he gets into the dorm. He looks lost, but not the kind that comes after a thought spiral. Andrew is furious at himself when he visibly relaxes when Neil grins at him.

His smile is a bit self-conscious, and he bites his lip as Andrew gets closer. Andrew has the sudden urge to grab Neil and kiss him, but he demonstrates an incredible amount of restraint by just raising an eyebrow in question at Neil.

“Matt and Dan gave me a movie that they thought I should see,” Neil says sheepishly. His whole body is moving slightly, hands fidgeting and foot toeing at the ground. Andrew is constantly fascinated with how much energy Neil has all the time.

He raises his eyebrow again, since that doesn’t actually explain why he is standing in the center of the living room like he doesn’t belong there.

Neil scratches at the back of his neck, a blush rising in his cheeks. “I thought that maybe you would like it. And that you would maybe want to watch it. With me.”

He gapes at Neil for a moment before grabbing the back of his neck and kissing him.

Neils whole face lights up, making Andrews chest hurt.

“Okay,” he tries to say impassively as Neil tugs him down on the beanbag and hands him a blanket and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. He can’t take his eyes off of Neil, who is currently getting comfortable in the other beanbag chair. He’s dragged it over so its right beside Andrew’s, but not touching. Andrew tugs it closer, and Neil grins again.

He can feel Neils eyes on him through most of the movie, but he lets it go. And he has to admit, the movie is actually very good. He taps a finger along to the music to show Neil that he is enjoying it, and Neil wiggles closer in his chair.

Andrew texts Kevin to stay out of the room after the movie is done, and completely forgets to bring up the support animal thing again.

He can’t ignore it anymore. Two nights later, and he decides that he will absolutely bring up the topic tomorrow morning. Neil has been back to his normal self for a while now, and he would rather discuss this now rather than wait for another bad panic attack or nightmare to hit. He’s running the script through his head when Neil moves in his sleep. Again.

Neil doesn’t normally move in his sleep ever. Something about his mom, Neil had never said specifically, but it makes Andrew feel ridiculously protective every time he thinks about it.

Tonight, Neil has been moving every few minutes.

Without thinking, Andrew brings his hand up to Neils forehead, mumbling his name as he does so. Neil doesn’t wake up, and his forehead practically burns Andrew's hand.

“Neil,” he says again, a bit louder. Kevin groans in his sleep before turning around. Neil doesn’t respond.

Panic wars with concern, and Andrew grabs his phone to call Abby. He stares down at Neil while listening to Abby’s phone ring, hoping that he’ll wake up and be fine before Abby picks up. Also hoping that Abby will pick up and he won’t have to go wake up Aaron to help him.

“Andrew? Is everything okay?” Abby sounds groggy, probably because it’s almost 3 in the morning.

“Neil has a fever. He won’t wake up.”

“Okay, have you taken his temperature?” He can hear the concern in her voice, but it quickly becomes professional as she wakes up.

Andrew doesn’t bother responding, just goes and grabs the thermometer and mutters something to Neil as he gently gives him the thermometer. Neil accepts it in his sleep, but his eyes stay shut.

“103.”

Abby sounds wide awake now. “Okay, I’m going to come over, is that alright? If it was just below that I wouldn’t be too concerned, but I want to make sure that he doesn’t need a more serious treatment.”

Andrews stomach clenches and he nods, despite knowing that Abby can’t see him. He stays on the phone, and she does too. He can hear her car, the radio on quietly as she makes her way to the dorms.

Andrew hangs up when he hears a knock on the door, and he almost doesn’t want to leave Neil alone while he goes to get the door.

Abby looks tired but alert when she comes in. She’s wearing sweats and a shirt that he suspects may belong to Wymack, her medical bag in hand as she comes in.

Kevin is still sound asleep as they come into the room. Abby gets his temperature again and starts ordering Andrew around to fetch things. He doesn’t mind, it’s easier to have something to do instead of just standing around waiting for Abby to proclaim that Neil would not survive.

He knows that’s not what is going to happen, but Andrews mind can’t help but come up with scenarios.

They finally move Neil into the couch in the living room so that they can open the window to cool off the room and not listen to Kevin snore.

There is a cool cloth on his forehead, and he has opened his eyes a few times. Abby even got him to drink some water and take some medication.

Andrew is hovering like a nervous mother.

It’s nearly 4:30 in the morning and the sun is just starting to come up, softening the sky. Abby and Andrew are watching the news on the lowest volume while Neil sleeps on the couch. Andrew keeps turning around to watch, trying to play it off so that Abby doesn’t notice. Abby most definitely has noticed.

Neil makes a sound in the back of his throat and Andrew whips around. A pair of very blue eyes are looking at him through a haze of medication and fever.

Abby grabs the thermometer again and kneels down beside him, speaking in a soothing voice.

“Abby,” Neil says in a slightly slurred voice. He looks young and vulnerable, cocooned in a nest of blankets. Abby hums.

He closes his eyes and mumbles something incomprehensible. Abby is doing her best to encourage him to sit up so he can drink some juice. His eyes are focused on the glass like he’s never seen anything like it before.

“I can’t take care of something,” Neil tells her earnestly. Abby smiles.

“You don’t have to take care of anything, we’re going to take care of you.”

He frowns. “No, I can’t take care of anything. I can’t do that, what if I killed it? Or forgot to feed it?”

Abby turns to look at Andrew, confusion clear on her face. Andrew is starting to see where Neil is going with this.

She finally gets him vaguely upright, and he looks exhausted as he leans against the back of the couch. Andrew reaches forward to tuck the blanket around him and gives Abby a blank stare when she gives him a fond look.

“I don’t want Andrew to get tired of taking care of me,” Neil says, letting his eyes fall closed again. Abby looks bemused, and she rubs his shoulder to get him to drink some more juice.

“Baby, Andrew will never get tired of that,” she says while looking at Andrew. He can feel his ears burn, and he gives her his best glare. She ignores it completely.

“And I don’t like dogs,” Neil slurs.

“What do dogs have to do with this?” Abby finally asks.

“Why don’t you like dogs,” Andrew says to Neil, ignoring her.

Neil’s fever isn’t as bad now, but he looks weak and pitiful as he leans to the side, obviously wanting to lie down again. He shudders a bit and says something that Andrew doesn’t fully catch. He only hears the name ‘Lola’.

Andrew refuses to regret things, but there is a feeling in his chest that he does not like at all when he thinks of Neil with Lola.

Andrew sits down carefully on the couch, then tugs Neil down to lie his head on his lap. Abby smiles gently and brings the empty glass to the kitchen to give them some space.

Andrew speaks quietly. He’s not even sure that Neil will remember this later, but he feels the need to comfort him for some odd reason.

“I was thinking,” Andrew says slowly. “And cats are much more our style. They aren’t as high maintenance, so you wouldn’t have to worry about it as much. And they can be trained just as well as dogs can.”

Neil hums as Andrew starts to card his fingers through his hair. “Would they help with panic attacks?”

Andrew can’t avoid the massive feeling of pride over the fact that Neil actually used the term. He’s never used it like that before, never accepted that those times when he felt ‘kind of nervous’, as he used to explain them, could actually be something with medical terminology.

“Yes, they could help with panic attacks.”

Neil nods, his body relaxing back into sleep.

Betsy helps with the paperwork and all of the logistics. Neil has three panic attacks during the whole process. Once when he sees the document that confirms that he has been diagnosed with PTSD, once when they go to visit the cats for the first time, and once on their fifth visit when a cat climbs on his lap.

Neil can’t get over the idea that he could be dangerous to such a small creature, but when he ends up with scratches on his already ruined arms, he decides that they are pretty strong little creatures.

Andrew doesn’t get irritated a single time. He’s a calming presence, always there. It’s even become a bit of a team exercise, going to visit the cats and volunteering to clean kennels and play.

They eventually end up with a ragdoll cat that has been following Neil around since their first visit, one that Nicky names ‘Sir Fat Cat McCatterson’ on the third trip.

Sir fits in to the dorm seamlessly, and Neil has to admit that the purring and weight of a cat does help with the anxiety.

On his first bad day after bringing her home she crawls onto his chest and purrs until he has stopped hyperventilating. Andrew comes back from class 20 minutes later to the both of them having a nap on the floor in the sun, and he feels something like pride at Neil for how far he has come.

#all for the game #fanfic #the foxhole court #aftg #tfc #andrew minyard #neil josten #andrei mozalev #andrew minyard/neil josten #betsy dobson #abby winfield #david wymack #coach wymack #soft neil josten #soft andrew minyard #soft andreil #ao3

69 notes · View notes