#neil deserves the world he is my son and i love him

[that-ineffable-devil]

I'm processing a lot of emotions tonight and I keep being drawn back to Good Omens--not just because it's the new hyperfixation or because it's so good. That's what I thought it was, at first.

But this year--hell, the last 3 or 4 months especially, I finally started taking steps to accepting and being myself. I'm rapidly approaching middle age and I'm only just now beginning to feel like I'm allowed to be me. I came out to the people in my household, a few select friends, and a few select family members--most of whom were wholly supportive. I started testosterone injections. I stopped trying to be someone I'm not. I stopped hiding who I am and who I love.

What does this have to do with Good Omens? Nothing. But also... Everything.

So much queer representation is in characters vastly younger than me--and that's good! I want queer kids to feel safe and loved and accepted in ways I never did. They deserve better than we had. And it gives me hope for their futures. I bawled like a baby when I watched The Owl House with my son and he was totally unphazed by the queerness. It's just how people are to him.

But when something like Good Omens comes along and not only grabs every opportunity to show average, everyday old(er) queer representation... It just. I've never felt more seen. More accepted. More hope for all our futures. And season 2 just knocked that out of the fucking park. And the nonbinary, genderfluid, and genderqueer rep? My God.

And it's not subtext, it's not it's own separate plotline where they're fighting for acceptance or dealing with hateful bigotry... It's just... Accepted. It's normal. No one questions it. No one even comments on it.

It's people of any age (even millions of years old) being unapologetically themselves and loving who they love openly and fully (with one notable uncommunicative group of two ineffable idiots, but they'll get there).

I just.

I can't express how grateful I am to see older queer rep at this time in my life. It's been a rough year, and I expect it'll get rougher before it gets better. But I've never been happier in my own skin, and it means the absolute world to see my literary and media heroes like Neil Gaiman, David Tennant, and Michael Sheen (and Terry Pratchett and everyone who worked on Good Omens, honestly) making this beautiful, messy, adorable, excruciating, wonderful, heartbreaking, ethereal, down-to-earth tale.

There aren't enough words in all the languages of the world to express how I'm feeling. "Thank you" just feels... Insufficient.

I just hope they know how much it means to people like me, especially after a lifetime of buried subtext and overt queerbaiting and media ridicule and general lack of acceptance, to experience this story with them.

[bee--28]

This is a Richard Cameron save space.

My boy was a CHILD. He didn't deserve any of the situations he was put in. That's not to say Charlie was wrong to punch him, he was 100% in the right in my mind. Cameron was just simply following what he knew.

He is 17 at the oldest (it's like winter tho, so he's like 16). He has spent his whole life bowing to authority. He is from a well-off family. From the fact that one of his main motivations is to make his parents proud to the fact that EVERY Welton student has an underlying fear of authoritarian figures (ie, Nolan, their parents, societal pressures, etc). He is simply doing what he knows. He knows he will never have the same relationship with his parents if he sides with the Poets and he knows he'll never have the same relationship with his friends if he sides against them.

But, at the end of the day, he knows most of them are at least indifferent about him, if not, they blatantly dislike him. The only one of his friends that likely ever actually cared about him is dead. He doesn't really have friends now anyways. But his parents, they still like him, they're still proud of him. He doesn't want to hurt or damage that. And isn't it better to follow the rules, they're in place for a reason.

Richard Cameron is a child in a world sent on doing everything in its power to tear him down. And it succeeds. We cannot victim blame him. He is as much a victim of the system as Neil is. He's simply on the opposite side of the spectrum where instead of rebelling against, he gets pulled in.

And you know it haunts him. You know it breaks his heart to notice himself putting those same pressures on his sons. You know that he sees every bit of those who broke Neil and led to Neil's death in himself. And you know he can't break it. He knows that he was a horrible friend and is a horrible father. And he will never be able to break it himself, and that is what really hurts him. He knows that his friends who hated him then would hate him still now. And he wants to be different but he simply doesn't know how.

And his sons, once they're both at Welton, know what he did, they know how he reacted to his FRIEND following an artistic passion so if/when they find one of their own, they don't tell him. Cameron finds out and it breaks him, he doesn't tell his son he knows, he doesn't trust himself not to lead his youngest to commit an action he can't take back.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my Cameron rant. Baby boy did nothing wrong for his situation. I love him and I love giving him angst. My poor tragic baby

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 2, Match 56: David Wymack vs. Ash Ketchum

Submitted kids:

David Wymack: Kevin Day (biological), Andrew Minyard (spiritually adopted), Aaron Minyard (spiritually adopted), Neil Josten (spiritually adopted), Dan Wilds (spiritually adopted), Nicky Hemmick (spiritually adopted), Matt Boyd (spiritually adopted), Renee Walker (spiritually adopted), Allison Reynolds (spiritually adopted)

Ash Ketchum: Many of his Pokémon

Propaganda under the cut!

David Wymack:

1. “He purposefully made a college sports team to take in fucked up kids and give them second chances. He gave them a home and support when no one else would. And he’s sooooo grouchy about it, like he doesn’t love these kids and fight for them every second of every day. For fuck’s sake, he adopted his ex-girlfriends son when he was escaping major abuse before he even knew he was ALSO his OWN biological son!!! The woman he loved had a kid and he took him in without hesitation and he didn’t even know! He didn’t even know!!! Wymack fights the media, the college courts, the legal courts, the fucking Mafia, all because he loves his kids and knows they deserve more than the world has ever given them. I wish Wymack was my dad. DILF of the year”

2. “- He is the coach of a college sports team

- His team is comprised only of kids who need second chances

- This team is entirely found family

- He works very hard to make sure these kids get a chance to shine

- He gives second chances. And third chances. And whatever amount of chances you need

- He once spoke to a therapist about one of his athletes, saying I trust you to do what's right by my kids"”

3. “His whole thing is literally adopting the children who have had a messed up childhood. The violent ones and the ones who runway from stability. Without spoiling the series he gives Neil a place to live without question. He cares for all the the foxes (the sports team he coaches), and gives the opportunity to change and find family.”

4. “He just wants them to get the second chance he never had!!!!”

Ash Ketchum:

“Ok. You may question what I'm talking about it, but think about some of his Pokemon here.

- Charizard: Abandoned by their trainer. Ash stood by them and watched as their abilities grew.

- Infernape: Abandoned by their trainer for being too “weak”. Ash helped raise them without the cold abuse and helped them show their original trainer the mistake they made.

- Incineroar: Took in after the passing of their mentor.

There are dozens of instances like this. He’s left multiple Pokémon behind because he’s helped them find happier lives, and he can still keep in touch with them from time to time.”

[aftgficrec]

IT'S OPENNNNNNN!!!!!

You peeps are absolutely amazing. Love everything you do for this blog.

Do you have any recommendations for any new twinyard bonding fics, with or without Nicky. Or even any with Nicky and one twin?

Or anything around Wymack and Kevin having father son bonding or something like that.

Thank you in advance 💜

OK so sometimes I go off the deep end with these searches and it has happened once again. We’ve tagged a lot of fics with 'twinyards bonding,' even if it’s just a small part of the story — we’re just here for the healing, you know? So rather than delete this huge list of previous recs, I’m going to put them in another post.

Bonus: fics with background twinyards bonding here.

Nicky with the twins here and Kevin and Wymack bonding here are being bumped to their own asks. -A

twinyards bonding since our last ask

‘Shut Up and Dance (With Me),’ ‘never said that i didn't need you,’ ‘Inked Truths’ series and ‘prove your love’ here

‘A World of HIPAA Violations’ here

‘Nor are we forgiven’ here

‘Follow You Through The Dark’ here

‘Did You Get What You Deserve?’ and ‘The Ash is in Our Clothes’ here

‘take yourself home’ here

‘I Think Mom Was Hiding Something…,’ and ‘In Our Family Portrait’ here 

‘Poetry in Motion’ here

‘The Strays’ and ‘Arsonist's Lullabye’ here

‘Medical misunderstandings’ here

‘tall twinyards' series here

‘if you can't take the heat…’ and ‘Microsleep’ here

‘The first time Andrew let Aaron see…’ here 

‘Unique Souls’ and ‘Don't Mind Us’ here

‘Little Miracles’ and ‘Where There is Magic…’ here

‘Witness,’ ‘there’s a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly,’ and ‘… cry over Aaron Minyard tonight’ here

‘Suddenly I see’ here

‘"Wrong Minyard" - Aaron Minyard’ here

‘False Equivalence’ here

‘I’ve been silent for so long,’ ‘in my life i have seen people walk into the sea…,’ ‘Trial,’ ‘You know I don't care,’ and ‘Lists’ here

‘The Road Trip’ here

‘What He Would Give’ and ‘let me tell you something…’ here

‘lamb to the slaughter’ (updated) here

previous twinyards goodness

Andrew supportive of Aaron here

twinyards relationship 2 here

twinyards growing up together here

healthy sibling rivalry here

canon divergent low angst twinyards here

low angst twinyards aus here

domestic fluff w/twinyards bonding, Neil & Aaron friendship here

Aaron & Neil rapprochement here

more Aaron relapse here

twinyards mistaken identity here

Neil mistakes Aaron for Andrew here

the twins with siblings/kids here

twins discover their dad here

why Minyard last name? here

twins meet later in life 2 here

twins meet later, without the trauma here

pre canon

breaking every finger, praying that it makes me clean by orionauriga [Rated M, 9505 Words, Complete, 2023]

Then: Aaron, on the other side of the bathroom door, screaming Andrew’s name in delirious rage. Between: Andrew, fractured between blissfully medicated and painfully sober, trapped with doctors meant to be helping him. Now: Kevin, hands twisted into his hair, watching in silent agony as Andrew sloshes his vodka down the sink. — No one has ever accused Andrew Minyard of being caring, but he is more than capable of handling his loved ones’ addictions. He’s gone through withdrawal before, after all. He knows what it’s like.

tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: vomit, tw: withdrawal, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Both of you, against- by itallcomesbacktoandreil [Rated T, 618 Words, Complete, 2022]

idk what to tell you, this is a vent piece, it isnt even originally about the twinyards, but i wanted to post it and felt they could fit in this

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

In this Gemini weather by codename_adler [Not Rated, 1187 Words, Complete, 2023, Locked]

When Aaron found out about his twin brother Andrew, at 13, he wrote him a letter. Here is that letter.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

this is me choosing you by thewintersolstice [Rated T, 7467 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape 2022]

In the months before Tilda's death, Andrew and Aaron try to learn how to care about each other -- aka twinyards bonding as only twinyards can (badly). or three times andrew tried to be a good brother and one time aaron finally got it.

tw: alcohol, tw: implied/referenced drug use, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to by love_in_the_city [Rated G, 2782 Words, Complete, Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022]

Part 1 of Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022 Five times the twins have cried on their birthdays and one time they didn’t have to

tw: child abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug use

until then I walk alone series by rekikiri [Rated T, Collection, Updated July 2023]

Part 1: sometimes, I wish someone out there will find me [3291 Words, Complete, 2023] Andrew gifts Aaron a guitar, and that may just be the start of them learning to exist with each other.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse. tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

NB: inspired by this art by @foxesrefuge; this art also inspired the fic ‘rooftop songs’ recc’d here

Part 2: another turning point, a fork stuck in the road [7718 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2023] aaron is hurt, and andrew won’t let his mother hurt the only family he chose to keep, no matter the cost.

tw: child abuse, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood, tw: drug addiction, tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: car accidents

My life by diangelonico [Rated T, 562 Words, Complete, 2023]

“You were miserable. You were so unhappy. You hated your life.” Andrew said, angry. “Is was my life.”

tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

we'll take it slow (and grow as we go) by pipedreamparrish [Rated T, 2755 Words, Complete, 2020]

the Twinyards's birthday's through the ages, featuring very ugly ties, large sugar intakes, and lots of growth and healing)

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm

post canon

Mirror, Mirror by This_Witch_Writes [Rated T, 7347 Words, Complete, Dec 2022, Locked]

Part 3 of Heimkehr means Homecoming series, parts 1 & 2 here

Aaron and Andrew spent the first 16 years of their lives apart, so they aren’t exactly those twins with the telepathy and in-jokes. Except sometimes. Two mirrors as seen through two imaginary friends, one visitors day in juvie, two relapses and one late night phone call.

tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: abortion discussion

Give Me Another Minute (to Lay Here in Your Echo) by This_Witch_Writes [Rated T, 26732 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

A year post-canon, when they thought they were safe, Neil goes missing.

tw: implied major character death, tw: kidnapping, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: self harm, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: drugs, tw: alcohol, tw: implied/referenced human trafficking, tw: graphic nightmares, tw: gun violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: major character injury

Don't Strike Me Down by crymeariversong11 [Rated T, 5021 Words, Complete, 2022]

Kevin ends up in the hospital and the Minyard Twins realize they have feelings.

Trial Talk by sirfatcat_mccatterson [Rated G, 1638 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Prompt from anon on Tumblr Twinyard bonding before Aarons trial.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

No Words Necessary by emmy (emmy7) [Rated T, 820 Words, Complete, 2023]

Aaron in the aftermath of Drake's murder trial.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Thicker Than Water by exy_shmexy [981 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Aaron himself found himself at a loss for words. He had tossed and turned over what to say for a couple days ever since he sent the text to Andrew telling him he wanted to visit his mother’s grave and if he could come with him.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Raw Sugar by Paradoxolotl [Rated T, 3686 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Betsy tells Aaron and Andrew to find something they can bond over.

NB: fic art by @fortheloveofexy here

I was born sick by Harmonique [Rated G, 3082 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 2 of AFTG whump

Aaron is sick. Aaron should rest, but he has an exam, classes, and a match in the evening. Aaron is an idiot. Thankfully, he has a boyfriend and a brother to make sure he rests

After thousands of cold days by LadyTimelessness [Rated T, 3310 Words, Complete, 2023]

Double sessions was originally a stupid idea. None of them cared about building (or establishing) brothers relations anymore. Andrew always knew it wouldn't work, and neither did Aaron. They learned to live with each other at the level of neighbors, and it seemed to suit everyone. None of the twins needed more.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder

Contraposition by Reiss [Rated T, 3595 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew and Arron have an emotional and tearful bonding session on the roof of Fox Tower and a breakthrough in their emotions follows.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: violence

Twin Calls series by makememakesense [Rated T, Collection with 2 complete works, Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022]

Part 1: The pressure in my veins (Talk it down, talk it down) [1573 Words] Andrew deals with being a single Cat Dad. Part 2: We're doing alright [1478 Words] POV you're freaking out about having Twins. Who do you call?

alternate universes

I'm leaving this town (and I'm changing my address) by zweimam [Rated T, 21028 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2023]

Aaron has been looking for his brother for six years. Right when he's beginning to lose all hope, he meets Neil Josten.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced suicidal thoughts, tw: dissociation, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction

Damned If You Do by Inthewritespot [Rated T, 13508 Words, Complete, 2022]

When his cousin Nicky calls about some friends disappearing under ghostly circumstances, Andrew Minyard forces his twin back into the family business. This is a Twinyard Supernatural AU

tw: canonical character death, tw: blood/gore

gutterwitch blues by nanatsuyu [Rated T, 20882 Words, Complete, 2023]

It isn't the worst job Andrew's ever been not paid to do. He and Aaron grew up managing the place, after all. Five years of silence doesn't change that. He can handle visiting 'home' one last time.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder

togetherness by Nightingale231 [Rated T, 683 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Andrew and Aaron are brothers. Andrew is the alpha of the twins, and Aaron the omega. Neil and Aaron are friends.

Art

book scene: Aaron’s drug detox art by @nniivek

The Minyard Twins art by @alef-art

Aaron and Andrew sand castle building competition art by @emry-stars-art

Twinyard AU with ghost Andrew art by @ol-unreliable

au where aaron and neil are best friends first comic by @02511213942

Nicky’s picture of the twins art by @prince-peachie

we face the fire together, brothers to the end art by @scribblesandsuch21

aftg inktober day 4: twinyards art by @tigerjawed

twinyards in a campus coffee shop art by @/whyzard on twitter

[eddiemelrose]

Yo, hit me with all your Bloodlines ramblings - I too have the BL brain rotation and a strong desire to punch TRC until its the ending we deserved and not... whatever that was

maybe it's taken me four months to answer this. maybe i forgot about the ask. but i will answer now anyway.

As much as I'd love to ramble about my next gen headcanons I've come up with I'll stick to complaints I have about stuff that is actually in canon:

(spoilers for the whole series obviously)

The whole series started because Jill was being targeted and Lissa wanted to change the family law. At the end of the series there was no update on that. In fact, Jill was rescued and just brought back to Court IIRC. I haven't read TRC for a long time and... I don't plan on reading it again for a while so someone else will have to confirm that for me.

And on that note of overarching world plots beyond Sydney... the vaccine?? Massive running plot but it was just left hanging. This series doesn't do "the reader can decide" so why are we left to theorise the outcome of the vaccine???

Now onto Declan... okay so I know a lot of people are angry that he ended up with Adrian and Sydney. I get it. But let's just talk about the long term implications of them raising him:

The trio (+ Eddie + Daniella) are living in human society in Maine. To the Moroi world, Declan is six months younger than he actually is - is this true for the humans too??

I have problems with Neil's abandoning Declan I've complained about before...

Will Adrian and Sydney tell Declan about who he really is? Will he become a guardian? These are very important questions to me that hold a lot of weight in planning my next gen world!!!!!

Think about it. You tell a child that he is adopted. Fine. But if you told Declan that he is adopted? That has problems if he mentions that to other people. Because why would they have adopted a child, they weren't exactly in the best situation for it? Alternatively if Declan knows he's adopted but he's also told he can't tell anyone or something like that he'd definitely be confused about why and again probably end up telling someone.

So the question is then when does he get told about who he really is??? I do have my own theories about when that happens but I'll leave them out of this post since they're related to other characters I'm not talking about right now lol.

Still on Declan: is he going to a Moroi academy? Immediate response would be yes if it wasn't for his situation?? Like whether people know the truth or not, his birth will still be controversial - son of two dhampirs or son of a Moroi and a human. I like to think that growing up with Eddie made Declan super determined to become a guardian himself so he begs his parents to go to a Moroi academy even though they weren't too keen on that.

Also Daniella. Is she just going to live with her son forever? Get the woman a job or a sugar daddy.

And finally.... as I have said a million times before.... WHERE DOES ADRIAN GET BLOOD IN MAINE?

no seriously. you can NOT make this a major plot point in vampire academy with Rose and Lissa and then just FORGET about it with Sydney and Adrian.

That is all.

[starkstruck27]

Tag game: Stranger Things Edition!!

I was tagged by my bestie @oopsiedaisiesbaby. Love you!!💚💚

1. Ride or die ship (your otp): Harringrove

2. Most annoying ship: Mileven

3. Second favorite ship: probably mungrove (bonus points if I get the best of both worlds and it ends up as harringroveson)

4. Favorite platonic relationship: Either stobin or elmax. They're both amazing <3

5. Underrated ship: gonna go with elmax again for this one. Or Keg Boys. I feel like they don't get as much love as they deserve.

6. Overrated ship: normally I would say steddie, but I also love them, too, so I'm gonna say ronance. I can see it, but at the same time... meh?

7. One thing I would change in canon: a lot of the random, unneeded deaths. Bob, Billy, Alexei, Benny, Barb, Chrissy? I feel like none of those needed to happen for the plot to move along, and even if they did, like they didn't have to make them like an "Oh well, they're dead :/" thing. Like, they didn't deserve that. And even if they didn't do that, the way the other characters reacted to the deaths was kinda shallow, too. Like Nancy losing Barb would broken my heart a lot more if they didn't use her mourning as a plot device to make her lose Steve and hook up with Jonathan.

8. Something canon did right: the character dynamics. The way they had the kids fighting over petty shit while bad things were happening, how Dustin didn't have a dad so he latched onto Steve as an older brother type positive influence, the way Hopper had to get used to being a dad again and ask Joyce for help? All of that was just beautifully done.

9. A thing I'm proud of creating for the Fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: All of my works on Ao3, but probably my favorite (at the moment) is my fic So Give Him Inches and Feed Him Well or my six fic series Cool To Hate.

10. A character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): Max, Lucas, Dustin and Will. They're all so sweet and funny and I love them.

11. The character I relate to the most and why: normally I would say Billy, but lately it's been more Max. She's stuck in a house with a jerk of an older brother who goes off like a volcano over the littlest things, though most of the time he's dormant unless he wants to annoy her, and she has to witness him and the only father figure she has fighting all the time. Getting into screaming matches, sometimes getting physical, and while in my situation it's more the son causing problems for the father, it's still bad. The only reprieve I get is when I'm out with my friends, and even though I still care about both of them, I'm starting to lose that love for one of them (in her case Neil, in my case my brother) because of how they treat everyone else and acts like everything is normal afterwards.

12. The character I hate the most and why: Karen Fucking Wheeler. How she can go from being a concerned, doting mother in season one to pretty much a sexual predator in the span of a few seasons, I'll never know. I could understand if she cheated on Ted and went after someone her own age, but the fact that she went after a boy no older than her daughter just makes me sick. And yes, Billy flirted with her, too, but come on. He's a misguided 17-18 year old abused kid looking for any kind of affection wherever he can get it. And Karen is the adult. She should fucking know better.

13. Something I've learned from the fandom: How to politely disagree with people and kill them with kindness. That's why I have an anti's ask pinned to the top of my blog, because I want people to know that I don't care who or what they like, so I'll respect them, but if they come onto my blog actively trying to start shit, I will not fucking stand for it :)

14. Three tags I seek out on Ao3: hurt/comfort, Fluff and Angst, and enemies to lovers.

15. A song I strongly associate with my otp/favorite characters: I made a whole playlist dedicated to Billy, so.... but if I had to pick -

For harringrove: In The Woods Somewhere by Hozier or Don't You Dare (Make Me Fall In Love With You) by Kaden MacKay

For Billy: Far Too Young To Die by Panic! At The Disco, Beautiful Girls by Van Halen, Bella by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Cherry Pie by Warrant. Also pretty much Guns N Roses' entire discography.

So, everyone I usually tag for these has already done it (I think), but on the off chance you didn't, I'll tag @thissortofsorcery and @half-oz-eddie , as well as anyone else who wants to participate!

[cloudysonder]

Home (Andrew Minyard/Neil Josten)

Summary: 

Neil had never known family. He knew the definition of it in four different languages and knew the word for it in twice as many. He never understood it, and probably never would.

But, looking out to what seemed like a sea of people in one room, looking into the eyes and the faces of people who would fight for him, people who he would fight for, and home, in the form of blonde hair and an uncaring stare that was a cocktail of both, he guessed that perhaps it would feel a little like this.

...

Set in the cabin vacation after Baltimore; drunk, honest, sorta sappy Neil (it's Neil) realizing that he's come home, and hoping, for the first time in his life, to stay.

Also: Drunk Neil is excellent at flirting, Andrew wants nothing, and they both give the Foxes heart attacks.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24332473

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neil looked around the small table, crowded over by Foxes. He brushed his thumb over the shot Andrew had poured for him and stared out into what would've seemed like a sea of strangers, if not for the past year.

Now, he knew their names, their stories, their unwavering determination, and their inexplicable willingness to hold on to him, holding him tight with fierce words and fiercer glares at the things he'd been running away from all his life.

Neil had never known family. He'd known blood, sure, known his place as the Butcher's son, carried his father's name in his own, an unescapable shackle on him, and he'd needed to run, to get away, to change it, but not in the ways that mattered.

Blood was a curse, an inconsistent axing pendulum that'd he'd known since birth, and he'd run away from it all his life.

"It's dangerous." His mother's vicious snarl seeped into his bones whenever he stepped out of line, and they ran, always ran, because they hadn't had a choice, had they? But they stopped.

The smell of his mother's burning body on the beach still wrapped its tendrils around his head during the night, but if he had the control to smother his grief, he'd feel almost happy for her. She stopped. It was forced, sure, and Neil knew the tremor of force rushing through his legs a forced stop brought better than anyone. But she stopped.

Neil did too. He'd chosen it, over the terrified safety, over the lonely nights, over his mother's whispered memories.

"It's dangerous. "

Neil had the proof carved into his body. He curled his fingers around his shot, ignoring the sharp bursts of pain at the burns, and tilted his head back to let the alcohol fall down his throat. The burn in his throat distracted from his wounds, and he looked up at the Foxes again.

Matt, ever amiable, ever protective, had his arm around Dan, rubbing soothing circles into her back as he smiled, honest and relieved and so damn open that Neil felt the same relief bubble inside him. Dan was bared fangs and sturdy pillars of support, holding up a team that was like a raggedy old shack, all rotting planks and broken pieces that would've crumbled if not for her.

Renee and Allison were fierce stories wrapped in their own versions of redirection; Renee with her soft words and kind stare, and Allison with her perfect makeup and her flawless wardrobe. They'd both given Neil so much honesty it scared him.

Nicky downed shots like water, dancing to a nonexistent beat as the jokes and quips and cheerful smiles seemed to flow out of him, and Neil appreciated the mindless sunshine he always offered, even if he never laughed at his jokes. Aaron and Kevin stood to the side, a clump of exasperation and cynicism, even if Kevin was too drunk to roll his eyes properly.

Neil had been given their stories, even if they didn't offer them, and the two had never been especially good at transparency. But they'd fought for themselves alone for so long, and Neil would join their battle if it was ever offered to him.

The picture of happiness in garish orange and white colors in the nicest kitchen Neil had ever seen would've made him feel like a passing onlooker, the way he'd been for such a long time, if it wasn't for the way Andrew's intent stare fell on him.

A year ago, it'd look the same to Neil as his other stares. The Neil now had the memory of Andrew's lips on his, his steady hand on the back of his neck, his keys and a phone weighing his pockets down. The Neil now knew all of Andrew's expressions even when Andrew didn't, because somewhere along the line, Neil had stopped running because Andrew was home.  

Andrew quirked an eyebrow up at him, an almost imperceptible question. Neil pushed his shot glass towards him in response, and Andrew rolled his eyes before placing the bottle of whiskey in front of him.

“Staring,” Andrew mouthed to him, but no explicit complaint followed. Neil tried not to smile as he poured whiskey in his shot glass and knocked the swallow back.

Neil had never known family. He knew the definition of it in four different languages and knew the word for it in twice as many. He never understood it, and probably never would.

But, looking out to what seemed like a sea of people in one room, looking into the eyes and the faces of people who would fight for him, people who he would fight for, and home , in the form of blonde hair and an uncaring stare that was a cocktail of both, he guessed that perhaps it would feel a little like this.

The heat from the whiskey traveled from his throat and settled in a pleasant lump in his stomach, warmth pooling in his chest. The warm tears slipped out before Neil could process it, and he saw Andrew immediately stiffen, the familiar feeling of calloused fingers on the back of his neck before he could blink.

The rest of the team reacted in a ripple, Matt immediately noticing and concern spilling across his face before it reached his lips, and the girls noticing the shift in Matt’s expression before softening at Neil. Nicky silenced, and Kevin and Aaron watched from the sidelines, inscrutable. Andrew knelt down in front of him, and Neil watched their gaze flicker to Andrew in varying degrees of interest as they backed down.

Neil looked at Andrew, his expression deceptively blank as concern shaded his eyes. There were gears turning behind them, Neil knew, a list being formed of the people to hurt and the people to kill, coldness directed towards Neil’s enemies, never towards him, but always for him. He looked at Andrew’s hazel eyes, his pupil focusing on Neil with pinpoint precision, always looking at him, at Neil Josten, never Nathaniel Wesninski.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked from behind Andrew, his words tinged with worry. Neil nearly gave him the automatic “I’m fine,” but the words stuck to the roof of his mouth as he swallowed and tasted whiskey, physical proof of his decision for honesty, of the trust he’d been given and finally returned.

Neil felt the beaming smile spread on his face as he placed his hand on top of Andrew’s on the back of his neck. A wet laugh escaped him, and he recognized the sound as genuine happiness.

He watched the team freeze in surprise and looked at all of them as he spoke.

“I can’t believe I get to see you all again.” Neil felt the tears stutter on their way down over his smiling face. The alcohol had loosened his tongue, but it was still startling to hear the truth in the air.

He’d held his self-directed grief for his future inside him for months, and the relief was washing over him in waves. He watched his team soften in front of him, watched the same smile cross their faces as they looked at each other and cheered him. Nicky and Matt had started crying openly, while Renee and Dan blinked at misty eyes. Allison grinned while she poured Neil another shot, and Andrew got up but didn’t leave his side.

The next shots went down smoothly, as Neil leaned into the conversations around him, Exy-related or not. His mind was pleasantly fuzzy, his tongue loose and his expression looser, as he savored the hum of the alcohol, because he could, now that there was nothing he had to hide.

He’d zoned out of a particular conversation about the actors both Nicky and Eric agreed were on the “list,” and found himself observing Andrew again. He studied his broad shoulders, that Andrew had let Neil collapse on after Christmas at Evermore, his hands and calloused fingers that would rake through Neil’s hair, that would wrap around Neil’s body while the cigarette smoke on the roof swirled around them, the lips that tasted like smoke and ice-cream and chocolate, and Neil hated all three things but treasured the taste that he’d come to associate with Andrew.

Andrew, with the soft tufts of blonde hair that glowed in the sunlight, that Neil loved to thread his hands through. Andrew, with the hazel green eyes that shone green in the center and faded to caramel brown near the edges, the eyes that offered him his demons, and the black armband covered arms that accepted his.

“...pretty,” Neil breathed and watched Andrew’s eyes widen in surprise by a millimeter. He savored the way Andrew’s hands stilled over the shot he was pouring, and the way the confusion squinted his eyes. Neil smiled, and let his cheek rest against his hand. “You’re so pretty, Andrew.”

A hiccup followed, and Neil ignored it.

He was vaguely aware of Nicky, choking on a high-pitched squeal behind him, while Allison smirked, snickering at Dan and Matt as they both beamed.

“You’re drunk,” Andrew responded in German, and his cheek twitched in a way Neil had learned to interpret as amusement. Neil blinked slowly, as if comprehending his words, before he switched to German after him, and counted off his thoughts on his fingers.

“I like your eyes,” Neil started, and a wave of fondness rushed through him at the way Andrew rolled them. “And your arms. And your hair. And the way you play Exy.”

“Junkie,” Andrew interjected.

Neil felt a surge of something in his chest, a warm feeling that settled in his heart and helped weigh him down, and the dopiest smile spread itself across his face. There was an inexplicable urge to convey the feeling to Andrew, but the words were stuck in the warm syrup in his chest.

Three words. He’d heard them before, in the panicked whispers of his mother right before he passed out from the pain of her beatings. He’d remembered them in his bruised wrists, his bleeding wounds, in the shape of his mother’s back as she dragged him behind her, protecting him from everything but herself.

He didn’t want to put those same three words to Andrew, who stood behind him, instead of in front, who told him to stop running, who promised to protect him and pressed warm keys into his hands. He had offered him trust, he had given him a home. It was unique, this thing they had, and so, the words that fell out, almost naturally, were just so.

“I hate you,” Neil let the words escape and heard the way they were covered with the syrup in his chest and studied the way Andrew almost smirked, wanting to burn the image into his head.  

Nicky was translating his words to the upperclassmen in the background, while they murmured in bewildered excitement. Andrew flicked a cool gaze over them, non-threatening and observing, and they quieted out of habit.

“I want to touch your hair. Yes or no?” Neil made sure his words came out in a crisp and steady German, and Andrew’s responding nod got him out of his seat immediately, nearly tripping over the counter in his haste.

He buried his hands in Andrew’s silken blonde tufts and raked his fingers through the strands. Neil watched Andrew sigh, exasperated, and the surge of warmth engulfed him again, only encouraged by the whiskey in his veins.

Neil thought of Andrew, and the last game he’d seen him play; sweat glistening under the artificial light, slamming away every shot at goal the Bearcats made, focused gaze analyzing each player, perfectly matching them to memories of plays and strategies he’d watched weeks before. Neil remembered what he thought was his last look at Andrew, that he’d burned into his head, a panting, exhausted Andrew, beautiful even then, as he’d told him “Thank you,” and “You were amazing,” while imagining his kisses and his protection and his truths and Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.

“I can’t believe I get to look at you again,” Neil let the free token of honesty hang between them, and Andrew only stared at him blankly before replying.

“You already said that.”

“Not to you,” Neil countered, and let himself drink in Andrew’s hard edges that kept him grounded, and the glimpses of softness he’d catch in between.

“You’re staring,” Andrew repeated.

“You let me.”

“I don’t ‘let’ you do anything.” Andrew sighed, his tone deceptively blank. Neil took the sentence as the rare admission it was, the little peek of softness in his roughness. Giddiness pumped through his veins.

“You want nothing.” The smile on Neil’s face threatened to tear his face in two, pulling on his burns and cuts, but he couldn’t stop it. “You really do. You want nothing.”

Neil caught the start of a small smile on Andrew’s face, followed by a derisive snort and a glance towards the Foxes, who were staring at them intently, varying degrees of excited surprise in their expressions. Nicky, particularly, looked close to tears, as he continued rambling translations to a hyperfocused Allison, Dan and Matt, while Renee looked towards them fondly.

“Yes or no?” Andrew leaned in closer.

“Always yes.”

Andrew pressed a chaste kiss to Neil’s lips, and the familiarity of it did nothing to contain the ripples of heat that spread through his chest in response. When Andrew pulled away, Neil unconsciously followed him, leaning further in. Neil was acutely aware of the tinge of amusement in Andrew’s face, and the high-pitched squeal of a drunk Nicky behind him.

Andrew walked towards the door, whispering a quick “Bedroom,” in Neil’s ear before leaving.

Neil turned to the Foxes and began a clumsy “Uh, I think I need to, Andrew’s gonna, I might just--”

“Neil. You are fooling literally no one. It might just be the alcohol, but you’re smiling so wide I think your stitches are gonna pop. Shoo,” Allison waggled a perfectly manicured hand at him.

Dan and Nicky were snickering to each other beside her, and Matt looked so happy for him that Neil felt a prickle of embarrassment seep into his cheeks. He looked towards Kevin, who was being held upright by an annoyed Aaron.

“Um,” Neil started eloquently.

Aaron got the message, shifting under Kevin to hold him more easily. He huffed out a despairing sigh and looked straight at Neil. I’ll take care of Kevin, his expression said. Neil was shocked into stillness for a second before Aaron snapped out a frustrated “ Go, you dolt.”

Neil went.

Andrew was waiting for Neil on the bed, already tucked under the covers with a book in his lap. He flicked a bored gaze over Neil and made no move towards him. The picture was startlingly domestic, a shot from passing glances at family magazines in convenience stores Neil had ducked in and out of growing up.

That idealistic image of a two-person bed, of having someone safe to fall asleep next to and someone to wake up to, was in reach for him now, just two steps away from him, in the form of Andrew bathed in moonlight reading a book, his eyes greener in the blue light, his hair softer.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Andrew said, after a long moment. Neil didn’t know what he looked like. “We’re not doing anything today.”

Neil finally made the two steps, changing into the comfortable pajamas he found in the closet before slipping in the bed beside Andrew. He hummed in response.

“I don’t mind,” Neil replied, and he meant it. Andrew’s presence beside him in the too-soft bed wrapped him in a feeling of safety he thought he’d forgotten, and his body gave off a pleasant heat. He felt the sleepiness settle into his bones, aided by alcohol, and vaguely wondered if Andrew didn’t want to do anything because it wouldn’t be the best for his recovery to immediately return from a rough place to another, albeit much safer, one. He wondered if Dr. Dobson had told him that.

“Not Bee,” Andrew spoke from beside him, and Neil knew he must’ve been murmuring his thoughts out loud. “Tonight was my call.”

Neil burrowed deeper in the blankets beside him, relishing the warmth inside him, the warmth beside him, and pressed his lips to Andrew’s neck gently before pulling away. It was barely a second, but, for once, Neil didn’t feel Andrew stiffen beneath him, and the triumph in his chest made him huff out a small laugh. It was the thank you that Neil didn’t need to say, and he knew Andrew understood.

“Let’s go to the beach next time,” Neil murmured into the pillow, and he knew Andrew would catch all the meanings hidden behind it.

Stuart could very well fail in the negotiations, and the chance of Neil being killed by the Moriyamas was still very real. The if there is a next time went unsaid.

Neil had told Andrew about his mother’s cremation on the beach, had known that Andrew caught the way he stiffened whenever the place was mentioned, but he also knew that Dr. Dobson had suggested to all the Foxes to try to overwrite their bad memories with good ones, ones worth remembering. The threat of the Moriyamas was still palpable, but Neil had decided to stop running months ago, had decided to ditch his future for the present.

In the room, beside Andrew, Neil went one step further, and let himself imagine a future. He imagined falling asleep beside Andrew for the rest of his life and blinked slowly, watching the way his eyes raked quickly through the blocks of text in the book. He imagined nights of Andrew finishing books and starting new ones, of nights of snuggling into his warmth and his safety.

He let himself fall asleep, feeling home, and hoped, like he had never hoped for anything before, that he could keep it.

[cavinginhisfvce]

'Speechless'

Pairing: Harringrove. A lil angst, but mostly fluff.

(Fluff isn't really my forte, so forgive me for this mess. I've just always wanted to write a Christmas fic, and Harringrove is the perfect couple for that.)

Modern!AU.

Billy gets the birthday/Christmas he's always deserved from the family he didn't know he needed until he found.

Growing up, Billy always dealt with other kids gushing over the fact his birthday was Christmas. They'd drone on and on about how they'd definitely get double the presents for the day.

Billy always wanted to scream at them that he's never gotten a single present in his life. He never got a Christmas gift, or a birthday gift from his mother or father. They never even brought a tree or put up any decorations. Eventually he stopped bringing up his birthday to people.

Though, older Billy would laugh and confess on his tenth birthday, he did get something. It wasn't anything good, it was probably the most terrible thing he'd experienced short of his father's backhand. 

That day, his mom had woken him up, pressed a kiss to his forehead and whispered that she'd always love him. She took him into her arms and buried her face in his curls, hugging him against her chest like it was the last time she'd ever see him again.

She'd left a shoe box at the foot of his bed, he didn't know it yet, but it was filled with the things she always held close to her heart. 

It was early, the sun hadn't even come out yet, making it dark in his room.

Billy, half asleep, just hugged his Mama back, mumbling his own variation of "I love you" as he dozed off in her arms.

When he woke up again, the sun was out, and his father was angrily throwing his mother's remaining belongings on the curb. He remembers spending the day in bed crying, hoping his Mama would come back for him. 

He cried his little heart out, and if anyone besides Neil had been privy to the broken hearted sobs, they would've tried to comfort him. Wouldn't they? Billy guesses not.

So, yeah, Billy got his first ever gift at ten years old, in the form of his mother abandoning him with the man she always vowed to take him away from. To protect him from. 

At almost seventeen, Billy no longer lives in California, he lives in Hawkins Indiana, with his father, his father's new wife, and her daughter.

Max is only two years younger than Billy.

His dad had met Susan a nine months or so after his mother left, and they married before reaching a full year of dating.

Her daughter, Max, was cool for a snot nosed nine year old. 

She wanted Billy to teach her to skate, after days of begging, he finally agreed. 

Less than two minutes after she'd climbed onto the board, she wiped out.

Billy remembers sprinting over to her with shaky hands. Scared out of his fucking mind that she was hurt, but before he could start fretting over her, she simply stood up, dusted herself off and hopped back on the skateboard. 

Billy never told her, but he was impressed with how well she caught on.

Their relationship as siblings was tumultuous from the start, but Max had grown on him, and Billy would set the world aflame for that red-haired brat. 

Max as she got older, started to notice the less than parental ways Neil treated his son. 

It was hard to hide even the quietest of sobbing courtesy of black eyes and bruised ribs from the girl who slept in the room beside yours.

It was even harder to hide the fact you never had a thing to open on Christmas.

They put a tree up every year, but Billy was always absent for the decorating portion as per Neil's demand. 

Max and Susan didn't even know when Billy's birthday was, let alone that it was on Christmas, until they moved to Hawkins and Susan had been the one to enroll him in classes. It was only July when they arrived in Hawkins, months away from his birthday.

They hadn't mentioned it, so Billy didn't either. He honestly thought they'd just forgotten.

Which was fine, because he's gone this long without the acknowledgement of his birthday, what difference did it make now?

Things between them changed when they moved though, Max had found real friends, she no longer needed Billy around to defend or protect her. Her friends were fierce on that front. She just didn't seem to need Billy anymore.

Her friend group was cool enough for a bunch of little brats, Billy had hung with them on more than one occasion.

Through said group, Billy met Steve, who in a matter of weeks, had asked Billy out on a date. Things were rocky for the first couple of weeks, if for no reason than Billy reluctance to let people into his personal bubble.

However, it came as a surprise when Max barged into his room two days before Christmas and practically begged him to drive her to Steve's house for an emergency D&D session. 

Even if Billy hadn't already been planning to see his boyfriend, he would have agreed to take her, if only to spend some time together. 

The sun had already set by the time the siblings were in Billy's Camaro, a blur of trees in the wake of them speeding down the road.

"You know, you should join us one day for D&D." Max's tone was casual, but Billy's known her long enough to be able to tell she was nervous to bring it up. 

For what? Billy wasn't exactly sure. She seemed antsy the whole drive. Maybe D&D was more intense than he thought.

"You want me to play D&D with you and the nerd brigade?" He glanced over at her briefly, a brow raised before his attention flickered back to the road ahead of them.

Max let out a squawk, a small pout on her lips. "Yes! You never hangout with me anymore. I know you're like the coolest kid in school, but you're supposed to be my best friend!"

Her arms crossed over her chest as she flopped against the seat. 

"You're so dramatic, shitbird. I'm still your best friend, we just have other friends now." 

Billy was shocked to hear that Max saw him as her best friend, especially now that they only spoke on the drive to and from school, and whenever their parents left them home alone for longer than a few hours.

But, he also felt a warmth spread through him at the confirmation that his sister still wanted to be around him. 

"I know we do, which is why you should hangout with us too! Steve always steals you away to be with him and Robin when we're all together." 

Billy couldn't deny that, Steve did monopolize his time when he was actually present at get-togethers.

"I hear you, alright? We'll spend more time together. You'll be sick of me before you know it." A playful smirk formed on his lips as they pulled into Harrington's driveway, but Max was beaming at him like he'd given her a million dollars. Soon his smirk was a genuine smile.

Trekking the walkway to the door was cold, and Billy was regretting not layering up the way Steve always badgers him to. It wouldn't matter long though, the elder's house was always adequately warmed whenever Billy crossed the threshold. Sometimes he wondered how his boyfriend could stand the stuffy heat confined inside.

When Steve yanked the door open, Billy wasn't even given the chance to complain about how long he took, before shouts of "Surprise!" were silencing him.

His eyes were wide as he tore his eyes away from the doorway full of people to Max, "Merry Birth-Mas?" 

The girl just shrugged at him, a sheepish grin on her face as she shoved him inside of the house.

Billy, who was at Steve's just last night was met with the sight of dozens of party streamers, and balloons. There was a tree up that hadn't been there yesterday, void of any decorations.

Billy didn't know it, but Steve intended for them to decorate it together when everyone left.

It wasn't until Steve was pulling him aside to give him a proper greeting, one full of forehead kisses and tight hugs, that Billy finally said, "what the hell is all this?" 

Steve merely shrugged, his lips pulling into a small smile, "it's the birthday slash Christmas celebrations you've deserved your whole life. Just rolled up into one party, because seventeen parties is apparently 'impractical'." His tone towards the end of his sentence told Billy that Steve might've been trying to throw that many parties, but was probably overruled by everyone else. 

Billy, in response just rolled his eyes and buried his face in the crook of Steve's neck, giggling to himself when the taller boy winced at the ever present cold from Billy's nose, but he didn't pull away.

After being made to eat his weight in delicious food made by Joyce Byers, Billy was forced to sit on the couch while everyone dropped various gifts into his lap. 

He sat there frozen for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to do. 

It could've been seconds or minutes later, but eventually Billy grabbed one with a shiny vibrant red wrapping. The name tag read "To: Billy. My shithead brother.

From: Max. Your shitbird sister.♡"

He breathed out a laugh as he looked up at her, softly shaking his head. 

It took him another moment of admiring the gift in his hand, and the pile that lay just for him, a foreign sight, before he was tearing into the paper. He wanted to persevere it, cherish it. But, even he knew that would be weird.

Inside was a vinyl record of Metallica's HARDWIRED...TO SELF-DESTRUCT. He owned one in California, but his dad had shattered in an effort to punish Billy for nearly missing curfew.

He wanted to shove all the other presents aside and hug her, but he refrained, instead settling for a 'Thank you' accompanied by a bright smile.

It had taken him almost an hour, but he had eventually made his way through the pile of gifts. They seemed to grow every time the ones in his lap dwindled. 

Soon, he was the new owner of random, yet thoughtful shit. 

A new basketball, and pump from Lucas. A D&D guide set from Dustin. D&D figurines from Will. 

Mike and Jane got him a few band tees, the pair had decided to just put theirs together when they realized they had similar ideas.

Joyce and Hopper had gotten him new colognes and hair products. 

There was way more stuff. He had yet to open the first ones from Jonathan and Nancy, but Billy found himself overwhelmed by it all. 

Joyce, always the lifesaver, seemed to notice, and declared that Billy could open the rest later.

Before anyone could object, she was rushing into the kitchen to grab everyone a snack. 

Billy took that time for what it was, and peeled off to Steve's room. He left the door cracked slightly, knowing Steve was likely to follow him up. For several reasons, like he always followed behind. And, he had yet to give Billy his present. 

It's not like he needed one from the brunet, he was more than content with what he'd gotten now. It's more than he could say for younger Billy.

But, he could see the death grip Steve hand on the neatly wrapped present in his hand.

As predicted, by the time Billy had swapped his jeans for a pair of Steve's sweatpants, the elder was slipping into the room, the door shutting just barely behind him.

"Getting comfortable before eating all that cake?" 

Billy thought it over for a moment before shaking his head, "I think if I ate a piece of cake I'd explode, Pretty Boy. My jeans were killing me." 

Steve just laughed before setting the parcel in his hand down, immediately wrapping the smaller boy into his arms for the second time that night. 

His nose nuzzled into Billy's curls as Billy's arms wrapped around his waist, his face pressing into Steve's chest. He took a moment to just breathe him in. He always smelled good. Always smelled like coming home after a hard day. He smelled like love, and safety. If safety had a smell, it'd smell like whatever soaps or shampoos Steve used. And a hint of sweet pea perfume that only Billy knew Steve owned. 

Billy was the reason he brought it to begin with.

It was a rather short minute of embrace if you asked Billy, but he couldn't voice his disdain before Steve was thrusting the gift he came in with, into Billy's hands. "I feel like I should preface this by saying that this is only one of the gifts I got you, but you'll get the others on your actual birthday.

It's not the best one of the bunch, but…"

He was blushing as he spoke, his fingers nervously fiddling with a loose strand on his sweater. 

"I wouldn't care if you gave me socks, Princess. They'd be the best damn pair of socks ever."

His joke was rewarded with a big smile from his boyfriend, but it was short lived because moments later the boy was all but shouting, "okay, now open it! I can't wait any longer."

Billy looked up at him with a devious smirk, his brows raising twice when he notes the exact moment Steve realized he made a mistake in sharing his own anticipation. 

"Hm, I wonder what it could be!" He raised it to his ear, giving it a soft jingle, only to pout when the box gave away little to no sound. "Well, it's not maracas." His faux disappointment had Steve throwing his head back in laughter, "nah, sorry. That's one of your other gifts, baby. Now hurry up before they think we're fucking up here."

Billy let out a laugh of his own, clicking his tongue, "yeah, well Max is leaving with the Byers, later. Your ass is mine tonight." He pauses, "or rather my ass is yours, huh?"

Steve reaches out and slaps his shoulder. "Just open the gift, asshole." 

Finally, he tears the paper off, it reveals a shiny box, it looks expensive. Handcrafted. Delicate. 

Billy is almost afraid to open it, but he does anyway. 

A small, startled gasp leaves his lips when the small box begins to play the tune of 'Speechless' by Michael Jackson. It was the song that played on the radio during the drive to the restaurant on their first date.

They sang along, loudly, carelessly and happily, stealing glances at one another when they thought they could get away with it.

The song had quickly become their song. They listened to it together whenever they got the chance. Which was often.

When the song reached its end, Billy gently set the music box down on Steve's bedside table, almost immediately flinging himself into his partner's awaiting arms. The music played out quietly in the background. 

Steve didn't hesitate or falter, he just held Billy close to his chest, swaying their bodies lightly. 

Again, they were content to just hold one another, dancing lazily to the song, but the moment was short-lived thanks to Nancy banging on the door. 

"Hey, assholes! Get out here so Billy can open mine and Jonathan's gifts, not to mention the rest of the ones from the kids. Joyce convinced us to wait, but times up!"

She left no room for argument, so Steve just held his hand out for Billy to take in his. "Ready, Birthday Boy?"

Billy rolls his eyes, but takes the offered hand anyway, softly hip checking the taller.

 "I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Pretty Boy." He pauses while Steve opens the door, but continues when they cross the threshold. "Thank you for today. I know everyone played a part, but you're always gonna be the best part of anything for me."

Steve grins down at him, dropping a kiss to the crown of his head, 

"This is just the beginning, baby. It's you and me."

[deedoop]

Let It Be

When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

The first punch always hurts the worst. Never is quite numb like the rest that follows. Billy has taken many punches in his eighteen years of life, but these always hurt the most. "Why cant you just be a good son?" Neil spits as he speaks, it burns Billy's flesh in the worst kind of way.

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

He doesn’t fight back. Knows it’ll only be worse if he does. Max looks away, walks on by as Billy is pinned against the wall. He’s alone in this fight. Hes always been alone in this fight. The second punch never hurts as much as the first. He’s thankful for that.

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Sometimes the burn of alcohol hurts worse than a punch. The memories it sometimes carries. The feelings. Sometimes he hears his mother whispering in his ear. “Let it be Billy, It’ll be okay.” And he believes her, just for that moment. Like he always did. Like he did when she promised she would save him. Sometimes the alcohol puts him into a deep sleep where not even dreams can infiltrate. It leaves him numb, leaves him sitting there in his room for long hours staring at the ceiling, hoping he chokes on his own puke. Maybe than it’ll be okay.

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

Christmas has never been fun. Never been anything to Billy but broken promises and busted ribs. His head still hurts. Harrington had done a number on him. Max had done worse. Had he become his father? Had he become everything he hated? He cant help but stop and stare as Susan does Max’s hair. When Max stares back, his stomach feels like its churning. He cant help but walk away, walk away before he pukes. Walk to his father and silently help place plates on the dinner table. He wonder what he got this year under the tree, maybe another broken promise.

And when the brokenhearted people

Living in the world agree

The gang avoid him like the plague. He cant blame them. He wants to apologize to Steve, hates the way his face is all black and blues. Reminds him too much of his own face. Steve’s face feels like a mirror to his soul. Blacks and blues. The locker room of the Hawkins High gym seems to shrink around Billy, seems to grow dark and dim with a spotlight on Steve’s busted face. On his chest. His arms. “Why cant you be a normal son?” The fight that led to his imprisonment in Indiana. The crime of kissing another boy. Steve Harrington glares at him, dares him to make a move, fists clenched, eyes full of rage. If Steve Harrington decided to kill him? Billy was pretty sure he’d let it happen. He’d deserve it for being so cruel, for falling in love with another boy, for becoming Neil.

There will be an answer

Let it be

Billy knows what to do. Knows what he must do. Drink and fuck until his body kills itself, till nothing feels real. Till he can hear his mothers voice whispering in his ear. He squeezes his eyes shut. Hopes she comes soon, hopes she carries him away. Jason’s party is so lame, the snow of January falls in heavy blankets, covering his Camaro as the party continues. Steve Harrington is laughing, enjoying a smoke, enjoying his friends. Tommy Hagan keeps trying to talk to Billy, but he cannot hear him, cannot hear him over his want for his mothers voice, of the swirling of alcohol in his head, of the guilt in his heart. Steve Harrington is laughing with some girl, flirting his heart out, the smell of dope heavy in the air. When Tommy tries to talk to him again, he pushes past him without a word, walks behind Jason’s house and sits on the snowy porch steps. Wants to freeze, wants to heal the burn and sickness that brews in his heart. The guilt. The love. The pain. He tilts his head up to the cold sky, his breath visible in the air. He hopes his mother can hear him. Hopes she hates him as much as he hates himself. It’s what he deserves.

For though they may be parted

There is still a chance that they will see

His mom was right to leave him. He knows that as he pukes his guts out the next morning, when his fingers shake and his head feels ripped open. Knows that as Max avoids him. Knows that as Steve’s face heals. Knows that as Neil breaks his knuckles on his teeth. He hopes she has a good life. Hope she has forgotten about him because one of them needs too forget. Max is a child. He can’t blame her, cant hate her, for just trying to survive. For just trying to be a child. How is she going to stop Neil Hargrove’s rage or his own self destruction? Yet there is a knock on the bathroom door and when he opens it, a water bottle sits. He isnt quite sure how to feel about it but he takes it and slumps down, hopes he either dies or feels better before Neil gets hope. He cant afford another broken lip.

There will be an answer

Let it be

He has let his rage go on so long he doesn’t know what to do when he feels nothing anymore. When all he can do is stare into space and think of the thoughts he was too scared to say aloud. When no more tears come to the surface, when no more rage or anger explodes, when all he is, is nothing. He wont become Neil, cant become Neil because his mom is whispering in his ear. “Billy, i’m proud of you.” He’s sure its the dehydration, the lack of eating, the lack of sleep. He hears his mothers voice and it breaks his heart and kisses it better all at once. He apologizes to Max first, goes to her room after dinner, when Neil is asleep, when Susan pretends to be. He sees her tense up, sees her anger, her hurt. “Max.." And he knows no words can truly solve the hurt that he has caused. That she had caused. That they had caused. The wedge Neil had driven. He promises to be better. Promises mean shit. Even he knows that. Its action that means something. He hopes they can be better. When he drops Max off at the arcade, she pauses, stares at him a long moment. “Thanks..Billy.” And next is Lucas who reasonably doesn’t forgive him. He wouldn’t forgive himself. He just hopes he can prove himself and have his mom be proud of him again.

And when the night is cloudy

There is still a light that shines on me

He goes to the mall, drops Max off, theyd been better as of late, listened to her whisper about Lucas, told her she couldnt ever tell Neil, to never bring him to the house because the neighbors would gossip. He doesnt want her to ever have the need to be numb, to hurt. He listens to her miss California, listens to her miss her father. “Be safe.” Billy grunts, he has his own motivation to be here. Not for cute girls or buying new earrings. But Steve. Last night, Max had apologized for drugging him. How fucked is that? How fucked was their life? How much had they ruined of what couldve been with anger? How much had he ruined? Only thing he could do now was try and be better. Somehow. So now he was here for Steve. Steve and his sailor costume, Steve and his eye rolls, Steve and his stiffening body as Billy walks in. Once more, Billy cannot blame him. “Two scoops of chocolate?” Billy offers, trying to smile. It comes off forced. “What? No threats Hargrove? No telling me to plant my feet before kicking me to the ground?” And Billy almost runs out. Almost cant do this. “I didn’t understand what was happening that night. I’m still not sure I do but we..I..I took everything out on you and..” His words stumble out like a million miles an hour. He isnt sure if hes apologizing for beating him up or fucking with him or- but Steve holds his hands up. “Quit it Billy. It was..a weird night and..just forget it. Max said you’re actually trying to be better. Just..water under the bridge.” And Billy laughs, really laughs. He never thought Steve the dork Harrington would be so..forgiving. “See you later sailor boy.” He doesn’t miss how Steve blushes.

Shine on 'til tomorrow

Let it be

He’s going to be better. Going to be the brother Max deserves. He’s not going to be his father and if he loves another boy so be it. Where else can his father run too? They already live in the middle of nowhere but at least nowhere has Steve who laughs at his jokes and laughs at his words and ices his cuts and bruises. Steve who he gets high with. Steve who believes him. Max who teases him about it. Max who knows too much and makes him blush. Max who sits in his room and blabs for hours about Lucas, about music, about Kate Bush. He can be better. He refuses to be numb any longer. 1986 was going to be his year.

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, yeah, let it be

[cana--merula]

So I finished The Kindly Ones tonight and I thought I was ready, but I have been wrong. This was the hardest time I had reading anything in a long time and I had to stop and just breath before turning the page a few times. I cried before I even reached the really sad part. Even so, I couldn’t stop reading. Neil did it again.

You know what is coming, going into this. It has not only been hinted on, it has been plainly stated many times since Orpheus' death. The introduction reminds you again. You know the rules, you know Morpheus has to die for spilling family blood, even if it had been his son’s wish. You know that Morpheus even thinks he deserves it. And I knew all of that and I thought I was prepared. I had all of World's End to get used to the thought of losing Morpheus. But then we see all this different story arches come together and we switch between the different scenes and every time I think "show me Morpheus again, I want more time with him" and every time I think "don’t show me Morpheus again, I want more time with him". And it took too long and altogether too short a time to reach the point of no return and it hurt all the way. We lost more good characters on the way then I expected, and even though I wanted to hate Daniel for what I knew was coming, I also came to like him. It was good to spend more time with Rose and Nuala and Delirium, my beloved. Matthew kept me grounded on those last pages, like the good friend that he is, and Death took my hand, too, to lead me through those final panels.

The Sandman was a story about stories from the beginning, but it this part was a tragedy. And like any good tragedy, it was carthagic and at the same time left me wanting more. Dream lives on, but Morpheus died and I'm not ready to let go of this incarnation of Dream yet. I think it shows how good of a writer Neil Gaiman is, that a story that is this clearly drawn for us, that we know the ending of, can still touch us so deeply. This is not a happy ending, but Morpheus learned that he was capable of change and in the end, it was his choice. This is how life is sometimes. This is how it goes, but like Road to Hell Reprise from Hadestown tells us, we have to tell the story, even though we know how it ends, because it may turn out different this time and it shows us how the world could be, in spite of the tragedy. It's comforting to know that in the end, Morpheus could at least take his sister’s hand. And out of his death, something new is born. I don’t know how I feel about this yet, because I think I first need to process it some more. But this is certainly one of the real stories, that resonates deeply with me and leaves me changed. I will always love Neil Gaiman for writing stories like this.

[darlingbudsofrae]

Nicky Hemmick Appreciation Post

Foxes Appreciation Series : 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 ||

It’s time for Nicky Hemmick appreciation hours!

I think out of the foxes, I really don’t like the way Nora developed, or lack thereof, Nicky’s character.

He was one of the few POC/LGBTQIAP+ characters in the books and the way he was written just wasn’t it, y’know?

I think out of all the changes we could have, I wish Nora developed him better because his character could’ve gone to so many potentials. 

But let’s get with what we have-

First off, I just want to say I appreciate Nicky’s relationship with Erik so much.

They’re adorable. 

Now, let’s get to the sad and dark stuff-

Nicky’s past is one of the most messed-up backstories I’ve ever read in my entire life. And I read a LOT of sad books.

Dude literally went to a gay conversion camp (the fact that this shit exists is proof that hell is just a place on earth) for a year and had to repress his sexuality his entire life because his parents were homophobic shitholes.

Repressing his sexuality also led to depression. He had freaking suicidal thoughts and he took the first way out of his problems and saved himself by taking the first chance to leave, aka Germany.

I’m not sure if anyone remembers but to get to that- he had to pretend he was something he was not. He had to play the “perfect son” role because he couldn’t afford to be himself in a place where his existence was deemed wrong.

Also, the fact that he had the capacity to do this- to maintain that role until that Germany ticket landed in his hands while combatting suicidal and other morbid thoughts-

Kid, that sucks. Nicky Hemmick needs a hug.

Also, taking note of this fact makes me appreciate his reactions towards his teammates’ tragedies more.

Like at first I was constantly surprised because I thought it’s such an overreaction to feel sad and almost cry as a reflex to other’s misfortunes (lowkey exposing myself here) 

But to realize he went through such a traumatic experience and can still empathize + sympathize deeply with his teammates-

it just makes me really appreciate that aspect of him- to be able to still be that person and have that sense of humanity despite of the horrific things he went though, that’s amazing.

Let’s talk about the fact that Nicky could’ve just live his entire life in Germany with the love of his life and cut off entirely his connections with his family because he had every right to detoxify his life and live happily for himself.

Nicky was about 19-20ish when he learned that Tilda had died and how he reacted to this by going back because he doesn’t want the twins to be raised by the same people who gave him hell- because he knows the twins deserves better- that’s incredible.

He had absolutely no obligation to, he wasn’t even that old to have that responsibility but he took it.

He came back and fought for the rights to become a guardian for the twins (against his own parents), like that takes so much time and effort and the fact that he did it at like a considerably young age is just so mind-blowing.

I’m not going to act like he’s the best guardian. But let’s not discredit where credit is due.

Despite everything- he gave Aaron and Andrew a home. Provided a roof over their heads, helped them at school (he taught them to speak German), worked jobs to provide for their basic necessities, and assuming Andrew spent all that insurance money on the car, someone has to be working to pay the tuition and bills, right?

And that someone was Nicky. 

(He also got Andrew and Aaron gigs at where he worked at).

Like no one talks about this enough but Nicky lowkey raised the twins. Like, he actually raised the twins.

There is not enough words in this world to describe how overwhelming and amazing that is. 

He had no obligation whatsoever to these two who probably gave him a hard time because as much as I love the Twinyards- they were assholes (I mean they were kind of mean to him for crying out loud, and that’s just on the books- imagine how much more he got back when the twins were probably so distrustful of him) and really, they weren’t Nicky’s obligation because most people forget that Nicky wasn’t that old. 

He was pretty young too. 

And by going back, he’s associating himself with the things that lowkey broke him but he still went and stayed anyway even when he could’ve easily just be happy and cut it all off because despite of everything, he wanted to provide the twins with an at least better option than his horrible parents.

He wanted the twins to have a good life- literally wished for them to heal and be okay and succeed and that amount of love- it’s just amazing. Like, I said that a lot by now but it’s just really amazing.

Nicky Hemmick is amazing.

He was also supposedly only going to stay until the twins finished high school but then Coach Wymack happened and with Erik’s support and his hopes of the twins being happy, he stayed.

I’m not sure about Nicky’s exy abilities, I think he got scolded a lot by Kevin but I like to think that he wasn’t that bad. I really wish we got more exy contents, that one time I got invested in a sport and there wasn’t even a lot of it. 

I also like to believe that he’s more mature than he lets on. Like, he actually knows all that adulting shit.

Also, when Neil noticed that Nicky is just playing his energy levels up to compensate for the Twinyards’ walls because despite everything, he wants to be friends with everyone but can’t because he’s with the monsters and that honestly sucks.

But it’s also commendable that he really tries. 

Ignoring the Eden incident aside, he was actually really great to Neil.

Like, he’s one of the few in the foxes that was friendly to him at the start. 

He also taught him a lot of things (like social cues and all) and did whatever he can to help him.

He’s actually a pretty good friend. 

Also, I lowkey feel for him that despite everything, he still wanted his parents’ validation and approval.

I saw a decent amount of people hate Nicky for this because it was what led to the thanksgiving incident, but I just find it sad.

Because at the end of the day, Nicky was just a son who loved his parents even if they couldn’t love everything he was and the things he stands for, and it’s just sad because even if it was kind of obvious, he just wanted to believe that everything could still mend.

He still wanted to be accepted by them.

Some people don’t deserve to have kids.

But when he realized that it wasn’t going to happen and this brought harm to the twins, he was very apologetic over it and guilty even if it wasn’t his fault, and he chose the twins.

He will always choose the twins. 

"It's about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we choose. This one. The people we trust to be part of our lives. The people we care about."

Overall, it’s just really amazing that despite everything, he can look for the positive and enjoy life even if it’s really shitty.

Just ✨Nicholas Esteban Hemmick✨ dude.

[yikesharringrove]

I have a headcanon that Billy doesn"t really know how to apologize like most people do. To him, the words are kind of empty so he just does things for people instead. Things like replacing all of the dishes with better quality ones for the Byers, making the girliest clothes Max hates disappear and replaced with things she likes, a new slingshot showing up in Lucas's locker, breaking into a car to fix it. Steve is weirdly charmed by it.

These may both be you? But here’s a combo since they’re p much the same idea

anonymous asked: Billy has forgotten how to actually connect with people so he shows affection through acts of chaotic good, like planting catnip all over the yard of the lady who allergic for yellomg at Max or breaking into a car so he can fix the engine. Steve figures out Billy is the one doing all these oddly kind things but he is still kind of intimidated by the blonde so instead of thanking him out right he just leaves things like cigarettes and baked good for him in his car. Have fun with that one!

This got pretty long so I put some of it under the cut.

-

Billy didn’t believe in the words I’m sorry.

They just didn’t make sense  to him. He had never heard the words when someone actually meant them, and fuck knows he’s never actually meant those words before.

But that does not mean there aren’t things in his life he regrets.

For example: beating the shit outta Steve Harrington.

He felt like absolute fucking garbage about it. 

Harrington hadn’t deserved that shit. Billy was just runnin’ hot that night, and Harrington had been unlucky enough to have bad timing.

But he didn’t know how to fix it.

So he started leaving snacks in Steve’s locker.

He noticed how he would always be giving his friends the food off his fucking plate, so he would shove granola bars, candies, even made him a sandwich one day.

He watched as Steve would eat whatever it was Billy had left for him, just fuckin’ chowed down without question.

He would look into classes, find out where Steve sat and leave little treats on his desk.

“Mr. Harrington, I think you may have a secret admirer.” Steve flushed a little at the cupcake, and shoved it into his mouth in two bites at the beginning of history class, but he wasn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak, and figured whenever this chick came forward, he would thank her for being so thoughtful, and let her down gently.

-

After leaving Harrington alone with all his snacks, Billy set his sights on his other regret.

He had Max hadn’t always fought and bickered. True, Billy wasn’t the warmest, when they first met, but once he got his car they would drive around together a lot. He’d take her to the arcade and the boardwalk. They both didn’t like being home too much.

So when Billy’s informed he’ll be watching Max for the weekend while Neil takes Susan to the city, he forms a little plan.

There’s one Chinese restaurant in Hawkins. It’s totally not authentic, not like the dim sum they used to get wandering around San Fransisco, but they had steamed pork buns and Billy picked up eight.

He let Max do whatever she wanted that weekend, figured they would have better luck with one another if they both acted like outdoor cats, coming and going as they pleased, but come Sunday evening, all the pork buns were gone, and there was an unopened pack of cigarettes on his nightstand.

-

Regret number three: Lucas Sinclair.

Billy probably felt the most fucked up over this kid.

He’d gone after him, a fucking child, in his blind rage.

He had figured that out when he came to on the floor of that weird house, sitting up empty and alone, realizing I’m just like Neil.

He had seen all those kids with their nerdy toys, went out to RadioShack, early Sunday morning, leaving with a light wallet and a new idea.

Dustin was arguing with Mike over the realism of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, like there was anything realistic about it.

Lucas rolled his eyes, opening his locker, his mouth dropping open when he saw something inside.

He pulled the bag out, peering inside.

There were six brand new walkie talkies inside.

They were better than the ones they already used, had further range and more channels.

Everyone went silent.

“Um, these aren’t mine.”

Max’s eyes went wide. She snatched something up from the top shelf of Lucas’s locker.

The new Wrist Rocket had a note attached to it. She knows this handwriting, but couldn’t place it.

Enjoy the new gear. Don’t quit saving the world.

“Do you think they’re from Steve?”Max furrowed her brows at the note.

And then everything clunked into place.

“Maybe.”

The boys were tearing into the new walkies.

She got two cokes from the vending machine at lunch, handing one quietly to Billy when she got in his car after school.

-

Billy doesn’t really know what he’s doing here.

He had driven Max to one of her nerdy little friend’s houses, and somehow he got roped into staying? He doesn’t even remember.

But now he’s standing with a short kind woman, in the exact kitchen he beat the shit out of Harrington in, with Steve himself leaning against the other wall, watching the kids like some kinda hawk.

Billy’s hands were shaky, and he inserted himself into washing dishes from dinner.

He noticed most of them had chips, and all of them were mismatched. He put them away quietly, and drove to the nearest home goods store he could find.

Ceramic plates didn’t run too much, and he got a nice set of three different sizes, twelve plates of each size, light blue like the one he broke.

He left them on the porch, parked his car down the road a ways.

He rang the doorbell, sprinting and diving into the bushes before anyone can see him.

He watched as one of the sons, the one his age, the one in his English literature class, opened the door, his brow furrowing at the box of new plates.

“Um, Mom? Somebody left us a set of plates?”

He closed the door, but the took the plates with him.

-

Billy was sitting on the lawn, had just finished raking up all the damn leaves, and was taking a well-earned smoke break as he watched Max skating up and down the street, practicing her kickflips and ollies.

She cut into the driveway across the street, the only one on the entire block that was well paved, no cracks in the cement.

“Get out of here!” Max started as Mrs. Reynolds, a mean old woman was shouting through her screen door. “You little hooligan! You’re going to leave marks!”

Max bit her lip, trying not to laugh as she boarded back over to their house, standing next to Billy.

“I’ll be having a word with your father!” She rolled her eyes as Billy ground his jaw.

Cat nip was way more expensive than Billy was expecting, but he bought plenty of packages, returning home just past sunset.

He waited until about three in the morning, when Mrs. Reynolds’ sprinklers had finally turned back off before he climbed out his window, spreading the cat nip through her yard.

He flipped her house the bird.

Max was awed at the cats the next morning as Billy drove them both to school.

There must’ve been at least a hundred.

“Isn’t Mrs. Reynolds allergic?” Billy tried not to laugh.

“Damn. That sucks for her.”

-

Billy was sitting on the hood of his car, reading one of his lit books while he waited for Max to get out of her nerd club.

He startled a little bit when someone knocked on the hood.

And it was Harrington, smiling sheepishly at Billy.

“The Byers got some new plates last night. You know anything about that?” Billy tracked the thin scar on Steve’s head. It disappeared into his hairline. Billy wonders how long he had sat in front of a mirror, picking glass out of his thick hair.

“Who’re the Byers?” Steve huffed a laugh.

-

Max was standing in front of the mirror looking like a grumpy old cat.

Susan had bought her a lovely new dress, and Max fucking hated it. Susan was fussing over it, saying I ordered it from the Sears catalog! and can you believe it was only fifteen dollars?

Billy slipped a five and a ten into Susan’s purse later that day, taking the dress to the Goodwill downtown.

He found Max a couple crappy t-shirts there, bands she would hum to on the radio, shit like Journey and Foreigner, and slid them into her closet where the dress used to be.

She wore one the next day, blinking slowly at him over breakfast.

He avoided all eye contact.

-

Steve has long legs.

this was of course something Billy always knew, but watching him stalk in all his righteous fury down the street towards the high school really solidified that fact for Billy.

He was stomping, his strides long as he hustled to class. Billy thought about offering him a ride, didn’t think they were there yet.

Billy found himself in Steve’s driveway later that night, popping the hood of Steve’s dead car and searching over everything with a flashlight.

Billy rolled his eyes.

Steve had probably always paid someone else when his car broke down, didn’t realize if your oil was low, your car wouldn’t work.

Billy kept a few cans in his trunk, refilled the bad boy for Steve, making sure that was it.

He found nothing else wrong and Steve pulled into the school parking lot the next morning.

Billy could feel Steve staring at him when he walked into school.

He found Steve sitting on his car at lunch, holding the sandwich Billy had snuck into his locker, and a loaf of bread wrapped in cling film. .

Billy raised an eyebrow.

“I saw you last night.” His cheeks went hot. “Thanks for fixing my car. And all the snacks and stuff. And for the Byers’ plates. And for all the stuff with Max.”

“Nothin’s happened with Max.” Steve appraised him for a moment.

“She said you’re being nicer.” He held up the bread. “Homemade banana bread. Made it while you were being not at all stealthy fixing my car.” He smiled at Billy, one a’ those perfect sunshine smiles Billy had only ever seen Steve direct towards his kids.

“I just changed your oil. Car won’t run if you don’t got oil.” Steve furrowed his brow.

“My gas tank was full. I had just filled it.”

“Nah Pretty Boy, oil. It’s different.” And Billy took a deep breath. “Could show you, if you like. Teach you some basic car shit. How to jump, how to change a tire.”

Steve beamed at him.

“I’d like that! I don’t know shit about fixing cars. Always figured it would go way over my head.”

“It’s pretty easy. There’s usually only a few major things that go wrong in nice cars that are easy fixes. You’ll figure it out quick.” Steve slid off his car, and Billy lamented that for a minute, liked how Steve looked perched on Billy’s car, wondered how he’d look in the passenger seat, in the backseat-

Steve pushed the bread into Billy’s hands.

“Y’know, I forgive you. For that night.” Billy tightened his jaw. Steve’s eyes were a little green in the sun. “There was a lot goin’ on, and I was being sketchy. I don’t hold it against you.”

“I, uh, thanks, I guess. I’m sorry, about it.” Steve smiled at him again, the corners of his eyes crinkling just a bit.

“Yeah, I know.” Steve took a bite of his sandwich, his cheeks all cute and full. “And I’m more of a ham and cheese fan.” Billy rolled his eyes at Steve, taking with his mouth full of turkey sandwich.

“Sorry man, you get what Susan buys.” Steve laughed, his mouth still full. Billy was uncomfortably endeared by it.

“Don’t be surprised to find some lasagna on your porch one night soon.” And Steve winked at him, walking backwards towards the school. “You’re not so bad, Billy.”

“Tryin’ not to be.” Steve gave him a stupid little finger gun. Billy’s heart melted.

“You’re doin’ a good job.” And Steve set off back into the school.

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 3, Match 13: David Wymack vs. Dadan

Submitted kids:

David Wymack: Kevin Day (biological), Andrew Minyard, Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten, Dan Wilds, Nicky Hemmick, Matt Boyd, Renee Walker, Allison Reynolds

Dadan: Luffy, Ace, and Sabo

Propaganda under the cut!

David Wymack:

1. “He purposefully made a college sports team to take in fucked up kids and give them second chances. He gave them a home and support when no one else would. And he's sooooo grouchy about it, like he doesn't love these kids and fight for them every second of every day. For fuck's sake, he adopted his ex-girlfriends son when he was escaping major abuse before he even knew he was ALSO his OWN biological son!!! The woman he loved had a kid and he took him in without hesitation and he didn't even know! He didn't even know!! Wymack fights the media, the college courts, the legal courts, the fucking Mafia, all because he loves his kids and knows they deserve more than the world has ever given them. I wish Wymack was my dad. DILF of the year”

2. “- He is the coach of a college sports team

- His team is comprised only of kids who need second chances

-This team is entirely found family

- He works very hard to make sure these kids get a chance to shine

- He gives second chances. And third chances. And whatever amount of chances you need

- He once spoke to a therapist about one of his athletes, saying "I trust you to do what's right by my kids"”

3. “His whole thing is literally adopting the children who have had a messed up childhood. The violent ones and the ones who runway from stability. Without spoiling the series he gives Neil a place to live without question. He cares for all the the foxes (the sports team he coaches), and gives the opportunity to change and find family.”

4. “He just wants them to get the second chance he never had!!!!”

Dadan:

“Dadan didn't even WANT these kids, goddamnit! She's a small-time leader of a gang of mountain bandits, she didn't want some big-shot Vice Admiral rolling up to her and blackmailing her to take care of his shitty grandkid and the son of the Pirate King! Then those little brats had to make friends with another homeless brat and now she's got three kids to take care of!

But despite them being a handful, she loves those boys. She raised them, bathed them, fed them. She ran into a gargantuan inferno to save Ace and Luffy, then she and Ace fought a pirate captain together. They won, but Dadan suffered horrible burns. When they heard about Sabo's murder, Ace was about to run off to avenge him before Dadan stopped him and told him to get strong before he even thinks of dying.

When Ace left to be a pirate, he sent a letter thanking Dadan, and she broke down in tears. When Luffy left to be a pirate, he told Dadan he hates bandits but likes them, and she broke down in tears again. When she heard about Ace's execution, she pushed past her fear of Garp to beat him up for not saving his grandson, crying in sympathy for how Luffy must be feeling. When she heard about Luffy's return, she celebrated.”

[me-4eva]

Harringrove Feedback Fest

This list is by no means exhaustive but OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD FICS IN THIS FANDOM!! Anyone who knows my taste should know these are heavy on the angst by and large but there are also some sweet ones in there! (Also huge thank you to @gothyringwald for starting this!) It is currently very late so I will go through tomorrow and add some more details about each one but these are fics that live rent-free in my head... also I’ve tried to tag the authors as best I can

In no particular order:

What you had and what you lost by @its-tortle

Donna Richardson, formerly Hargrove, née Marcs, has not seen her son in nearly a decade. She had run from her husband in a panic with no time to turn back for Billy, and by the time she searched for him, he was gone without a trace.

It was her greatest regret.

OR

The one in which Billy's mom comes to look for him, just as he's begun to heal.

My broken house behind me (and all good things ahead) by @ageolwian

He relives in vivid, distorted detail that time he got into it with Jonathan behind The Hawk; and when he got beaten into oblivion at the Byers’ old house; and that interrogation under duress beneath Starcourt Mall; all of them blurring together into one violent mess inside his head. Carol Vaughn holds him off the floor by his throat in Joyce Byers’ kitchen, while her boyfriend yells at her from the sidelines that he’s had enough, Carol, that he can’t breathe; the lights around them flash neon pink and blue by turns, and at some point a gang of Russians drive a Cadillac convertible through the living room wall.

Carol says, ‘hey there little Stevie,’ and kisses him on the cheek.

Or: Mr Hargrove’s supposed to be in Chicago all weekend.

We will be citizens by sarapod (four_right_chords) (couldn’t find a tumblr so linked their AO3 account!)

"This disease will be the end of many of us, but not nearly all, and the dead will be commemorated and will struggle on with the living, and we are not going away. We won't die secret deaths anymore. The world only spins forward. We will be citizens. The time has come."

The Party lives through the plague.

Fuck my heart, hope to die by Yassoda

When Steve notices Billy missing school, he tries to think nothing of it.

He fails.

He ends up sticking his nose in something unexpected, somewhat sad, somewhat dangerous, but ultimately good.

Like Steve needs more danger in his life.

---

A lot of Billy's life being shitty, and Steve's life being shitty, and them dealing with that however they can.

Lego Therapy by @cherrydreamer

Billy struggles with his recovery after the Mindflayer.

Steve helps.

With some Lego.

Bruises on both my knees (for you) by @bentnotbroken1fanfiction

Billy hasn't been able to satisfy the itch beneath his skin since leaving California. Unfortunately, he doesn't think he has a chance in hell to find what he needs in small town USA.

But that all changes when he sees the fire in Steve Harrington's eyes the night they fight. He sees something in them that he sometimes sees in himself when he looks in the mirror.

Harrington has demons. Just like Billy

Billy Hargrove Hates Nancy Wheeler by deadwife

Billy Hargrove Hates Nancy Wheeler.

Or

Steve gets in a car accident, and nobody understands why Billy Hargrove is in the waiting room with them.

you're cold (and i burn) by @holdenduckfield

Move on. Let it heal.

Maybe that’s why Steve said yes when Max asked him to help move boxes out of Billy’s room after the dust settled. He could hear her voice. Too many. Too heavy.

Just like his wounds. His grief. Too many. Too heavy.

(Or, Steve steals the glass ashtray from Billy's bedside table and things start to go bump in the night.)

put your lights on by @desk-of-nekostar

better leave your lights on, 'cause there's a monster livin' under my bed, whisperin' in my ear

Tommy Hagan doesn't deserve Steve Harrington, but Billy Hargrove sure as fuck doesn't deserve him either.

Vaya Con Dios by GayerThings

Neil said Hawkins was a 'fresh start', away from the sins and vices of San Francisco. A good, proper place for the family. It's everything Billy loathes. But it's somewhere quiet, a shit-hole Billy can lay low in until he makes a break for it and escapes this nightmare. He has a plan. Finish high school, save up some money, and run. No friends, no secrets spilled, no caring about anyone or anything.

But everything changes after his fight with Steve at the Byers' house when he's brought home the next morning in a cop car. It's just like old times. Something goes wrong, and he pays the goddamn price for it. Sometimes it's just for existing. Sometimes he thinks his dad dragged them out here with the hope that Billy will mess up and someone else will do his dad's dirty work for him. So he tries to hide it. All of it. Climbs to the top of the popularity ladder with his fists and his charm. Finds the easy girls. But even then he still can't stop what his dad's been trying to beat out of him for as long as he can remember.

Not with King Steve in the picture. Not when the goddamn bastard keeps messing up his plan.

Second Thoughts by @callieb

That night, 1984

Steve sits at the kitchen table, a pack of frozen carrots wrapped in a tea towel against his swollen purple face. "I'm fine," he says. It’s over. They fought the monsters, and they won. Now he can rest.

Except in real life, the credits don't roll, and they don't get to skip ahead to Christmas.

Of Cats and Men by Thei

Billy hits a cat with his car, and finds himself responsible for three little kittens.

Fortunate Son by Ludovico_is_my_homeboy

Experiment Seven escapes the Lab.

Driven on by Brenner, an inter-dimensional gateway, and his own obsessive love, Experiment Six follows him.

getting better by banksoflochlomond

"Dude," Dustin says, "You can't just Schrodinger's Cat your way out of trauma."

[withoneheadlight]

oh man that one with billy convincing steve to skip work has got me thinking trophy husband billy

Oh, anon! 💗💗💗💗adkahdshdhdkhkhdYESSS. I LOVE this idea!

And I’m SURE he would be the happiest trophy husband. And also the kind that's showy. Has so much fun going over the top with it, being gossip material. All cliché-y, and Diva-like. Basically confirming what everyone thinks about him (about them) precisely because it’s the diametrically opposed to what it really is.

Doing things like:

Mowing the lawn in mini-mini-shorts. Working on his tan on their lovely backyard on the sunny Sunday Summer mornings (in that exact spot where –coincidentally– Mr. Walker, their blatantly homophobic next door neighbor, would have to get out of his own backyard with his eyes closed not to see). Being reaaaally polite with everyone around (Mr. Walker included), smiling and waving his hand like “Hiiii, Janice! How did that new face treatment go?” because they live in a Nice Place now, six years after Robert Harrington made Steve climb his way up the company ladder right from the bottom “Exactly like everyone else”, both as a punishment and a trial; after working their asses out of their shitty one-bedroom apartment, having to prove themselves in every single step (as Steve and Billy, but also as SteveandBilly), but,

Here they are.

And now Steve has a very good job, one he’s genuinely good at, one that pays for much more than hardly the bills and maybe having dinner out from time to time. And they’re happy and they are together and they fucking made it, despite barely anyone around them given two shits. Now, Steve slicks his wild hair back from Monday to Friday, wears the nicest suits, so fitting and sexy and oh so preppy Billy sometimes gets a hard-on just from seeing them all together in the dressing room, hanging in a perfectly tidy line, made of the same material of sins.

So. 

He just doesn’t see the point in not treating himself every once in a while.  Make Steve run late for work or not getting there at all. In no letting himself enjoy the way those tailored beauties emphasize the shape of Steve’s glorious ass. Enjoy the certainty that in a big, stylish, impeccably neat office downtown, Steve’s dad is rolling his eyes all the way back into their sockets.

And also.

In not letting himself revel in the exhilarating feeling of sliding full into this ‘hot-mess trophy hubby’ persona almost everyone around them assumes he is. Steve’s Harrington boy-toy. “That California scum. Must be real good at sucking dick to get a deal like that.” Make the rumors roll down the small streets of Hawkins and under the door of his own father’s house. Thrive in the knowledge that every time Neil Hargrove hears any or those rumors or gets even the tiiiniest glimpse of them two together, going out and about holding hands,  feels like he’s about to puke his guts out thinking about what his son has ‘become’.

And aside from that, he kind of––enjoys, this trophy husband thing, to be honest. It’s been ten years since they got together now. Billy likes to keep things spiced-up. So when Steve is promoted and they move to be close to the new office, along with the house Billy buys a pair of powder pink slippers, fluffy ball of floating fur on top, and a see-through, fur-riveted robe to match. Some days he goes to his morning cockteling&tanning session in the backyard wearing only that (“Heeeey! How ya doin’ Mr. Walker?”). Kisses Steve goodbye long and filthy at the door, where everyone can see, opening the robe wide to wrap it around them both together, pressing their bodies flush, biting at his ear and whispering “Bring me a diamond when you come back, honey bunny” making Steve snort but say "You deserve a million of them, babe" making Billy melt, feel a bit like he's dripping love out of all the pores of his body, making a puddle that will permanently stain the glamorous white marble of the entryway as he waves Steve goodbye, scratches with feign indifference at the trail of fair hairs coming out his flashy-green pants to counteract the way Steve's killer smile makes him blush as hard as the first time, a whole decade away, that cold November night when he grabbed Billy by the collar of his T-shirt and said "I'm gonna kiss you. And then you're gonna punch me. And I don't care.”

It’s like a fucking fairytale. The way things were going? The most Billy expected out of life was live if fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse behind. But now, he’s got the guy of his dreams. He’s got a life he could have never dreamed of. He’s got Steve, now. Steve, who’s good, is caring. Always fights him back. Doesn’t buy any of the shit he tries to pull off. Steve, who's got lips like that moment the earth forgets about gravity when you’re riding down the hill of a rollercoaster. Got eyes that can rip out of you promises you never thought you'd make (like: I do and forever and not even death). That always see Billy when they look at him.

And now, he gets to wake up every morning before he does, put the Moka pot on the stove. Gets to see Steve’s sleepy face right after rolling out of bed, hair still untamed, pouty lips, bare feet dragging over the floor. See the way he beams, smile wide and devastatingly sweet when Billy tells him “I made you coffee, babe”. Gets Steve kissing him like a daydream, laying him over the kitchen table, fucking him before even touching breakfast with his fancy pink robe on.

And Billy thought he would have to change. Give something, to have something. Didn’t really mind. Too lucky to complain. Thought he would have to stop being mean once they got married. Play the tamed part. Thought he was going to have to behave to fit into the rich and respectable life they had landed at. But. No-No. Rich people? They’re way meaner than regular people, turns out. Billy’s just been upgraded to play for the Asshole’s World Championship Cup.

And he’s always been good at sports.

So he goes to the hair salon the afternoon before any important event. Gets a facial. Does his nails. Buys new clothes. Gets all Pretty Woman on himself just so Steve can show him off. And oh. OH. OHHH. Steve does show him off. To his dad. His mom. The whole party. Doesn’t give a fuck about whatever people keeps on whispering behind their backs. Offers his arm to Billy and Billy clings to him, keeps his chin up. He’s never been as afraid of anything as much as Steve not loving him back. He’s fearless now. Because here they are. So he lets Steve walk him through the crowd as the King he was born like. Brilliant. Proud. Letting Billy to deal with the vultures if he fancies to do that.

“Awwww. But look at you!! Anyone can tell you two are soooo in love!”

Fake boobs. Fake Louboutins. Fake Smile. Billy is Queen Bee now. He’s got this.

“Oh, no Miss Treadaway. I dearly appreciate you noticing how good my acting skills are. But it’s exactly as you said to Miss Walton the other day. I only married Stevie here because he’s got a big dick and it’s loaded. And he only married me because of how good I look on all fours. You’re too perceptive to hide it!”

But with Steve’s parents? With Steve’s parents Billy is relentlessly n i c e.  When Robert Harrington won’t even look at him. When Crystal Harrington blows saccharine all over him like in a bad magic trick, deceivingly sweet when she says, “Well William. Maybe it's time you get a real job too now our Steven is running his own branch" cold war buzzing between them when Billy spreads his most honest, open smile, not a millimeter of animadversion showing “But I already have a real job, Crystal. I take care of your son. And there’s also, you know, that side thing I do of running Garage” making her fingers clutch hard around her cup of fine champagne, making Steve’s lips fight to repress a grin, eyes fond, and soft and in love. And Billy will do whatever it takes, endure whatever he has to, if what he gets in return is this:  the way the narrow space keeping them apart feels like inevitability when they're about to kiss.

And everyone thought he was going after the money, when they married. Most still do. But Billy never actually asked for diamonds. Well, not for real. But he gets one anyway. Tenth anniversary and counting. It shines unreal on his finger, as much as this life he has now, as the liquid shine of Steve’s eyes when he says “They come from fire, just like you. I always thought they would fit so well. And looks like I was right” and just a few years before, Billy would have said “This is too much, I can’t take it” too afraid Steve would get the wrong impression too, too afraid to not be up to him. But now, he understands, that this is just another way Steve is trying to take care of him, to show him love. So now, Billy lets Steve spoil him as much as he wants. Take him out for dinner without reason. Hand him a sealed envelope saying, “What about showing me that ocean you love so much?” Kissing him in front of everyone, all the time, ringed fingers intertwined.

Lets him buy them a California King just to make a stupid joke, get Billy Hargrove to blush.

“We can ditch all of this, if you’re not happy. You know that, right? I don’t care about anything else as long as it’s you and I”

Billy shakes his head. “I am happy, pretty boy. Happier than I ever thought I could be” Tickles Steve’s nose with the fluffy, pink fuzz all around his robe until he sneezes and chuckles. “But I wanna know,” he says, tone pouty and tragic “It is true, what everybody says? Am I really a trophy husband?”

Steve shuffles closer, rumbles low in his throat. It’s an early Sunday morning. They’re gonna spend all time left until breakfast fucking in bed. Then cockteling&tanning together ‘till lunch. And then, after, he’s sure he can convince Steve to put on one of those gorgeous suits, let Billy grind against the soft fabric, make a mess out of him. Make him beg and squirm. Pull down his fly real slow, down on his knees. Suck him off. Eat him out. Make him moan I love yous brighter than diamonds when Billy gets inside him. But right now, Steve just kisses him silly, lowers down the covers to take a look down, at his leopard print, see-through, hideous new briefs. The cheapest ones he could find.

Because Billy’s trash. Will always be trash.

“Oh yeah, babe. You are. A fucking trophy. The best anyone could have”

But he’s posh trash now.

💎

The original post (xxxx) xD 💍

[ssadumba55]

Santa’s Not Real (Bernard X Miller!Reader)

A/n: This one was not requested by anyone in particular, but is my own personal contribution to the Bernard catalogue. This was really just an excuse to write the Millers, because Neil is my second favourite character in the series. I’ve been writing for Bernard for three years and just when I thought I’d explored every possibility with him, we all come up with more ideas to keep the love for him alive. I want to thank you all for allowing me to write for such special and sacred movies to us all. I hope I do Bernard even a sliver of justice. Merry Christmas, you guys! Hope we see more Bernard content next year!  Enjoy, you deserve this!

Being the child of Neil Miller wasn’t exactly what you’d call “fun” or “exciting”. He was always trying to get into your mind and figure out how you were feeling. Of course, sometimes it was nice to have your father be so understanding of your emotional needs, other times you wished he’d leave you alone.

At first, when he married Laura, you were worried about the usual kid stuff. Would your dad stop being as attentive to you? Would you and Laura get along? Would you and Charlie get along?

Laura had a son named Charlie. At first, you two were always butting heads. He was a firm believer in Santa Claus, which had never made much sense to you, what teenager still believed in Santa Claus? It was cute and charming when you were both kids, but now it was starting to get a little creepy.

You wondered if your dad was as worried as you. This had to stunt his mental growth or whatever.

“(Y/n). Pass me the glue stick,” Your little sister, Lucy, reached across the table to grab at the sticky tube. You swiped it up and handed it to her.

The two of you were sat at the table, Lucy was doing arts and crafts. You were supposed to be supervising. Laura, Charlie and your father were in the next room having a discussion. You didn’t even need to ask what it was about. Charlie’s father.

You had never met Scott Calvin yourself; you had always refused to participate in family outings involving him, feigning sick or making up other excuses for why you couldn’t go. It wasn’t that you hated the guy, you really had no opinion on him. You just found it weird to hang around with Charlie’s dad, after all Scott and Laura had divorced for a reason, right?

“Uncle Scott is Santa Claus, you know,” Lucy said matter of factly as she glued two pieces of paper together. She said this to you a lot and every time, it annoyed you just a tad bit more. There was no way Charlie’s dad was “Santa Claus”.

“Just because he’s fat and has a beard, does not make him Santa Claus, Luce. Grow up. Santa Claus isn’t even real, it’s just some lie dad and mom made up to get you to go to sleep on time on Christmas Eve, so you won’t see them putting the presents down,” you looked down at the book you were reading. Lucy glared at you from across the table, slamming her glue stick down.

“I’m serious!” She cried out.

“Lucy, (Y/n), Scott will be here soon. Come on out here.”

You rolled your eyes as your little sister hurried out of the kitchen, excitedly yelling about “Uncle Scott”. This was the first time, no matter how many excuses you came up with, your father refused to let you skimp on meeting Scott. His words echoed in your head.

“You’re as much a part of this family as Charlie and Lucy. Scott is an important part of this family, it’s time we finally share that with you.”

Whatever that means.

You followed your sister into the living room, where you could already hear a loud boisterous voice chatting with your family members. You hesitated in the hallway, trying to hear what they were talking about.

“(Y/n)?” Your dad called once more.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” you hurried the rest of the way into the living room, pausing as you reached the doorway.

Lucy was already all over her “Uncle Scott”, sitting in his lap and telling him an exciting story. Charlie was leaning forward in his seat, clearly very happy to see his father after not seeing him for so long. Laura and your dad had their arms around each other, sitting on the couch, watching the whole scene with affection.

Then there was somebody else standing beside Scott in his chair. You quietly walked across the room to sit next to Charlie without disturbing the guests. Before you could even get halfway into the room however;

“Who’s this?”

You froze, turning to look at Scott. Of course he would be curious why he’d never seen you around before.

“This is (Y/n), my eldest. They’re Charlie’s age.” Neil explained for you. You wished for a brief moment he wouldn’t do that stuff, you were almost an adult, you could answer simple questions for yourself.

“(Y/n) Miller,” you held your hand out to shake. He shook it and as he did so, you couldn’t help but think about what Lucy had said earlier. Maybe he wasn’t Santa, but he sure did look the part. You looked up to the guy standing beside him.

“Scott Calvin. My right-hand man, Bernard,” he introduced himself and the guy in one fell swoop. He looked a little young to be someone’s right-hand man. He almost looked like he was your age.

��Lucy says you’re Santa Claus. But I don’t believe that. Santa Claus is just a made-up character, there’s no such thing,” you blurted before you could stop yourself. The easy calm that was in the air previously dissipated somewhat as you said that. Scott was the only one who seemed completely unphased by what you said.

“You know what, I don’t blame you, (Y/n), one man delivering presents to all the children in the world,” he shook his head. “Sounds impossible.”

You nodded along with him, clearly, he was a very logical man. You wondered where Charlie got his obsession with Santa from. Clearly not Laura, she was very practical as well.

“But I seem to recall you wanted a dog for your 5th Christmas. And the year after your parents divorced, you wrote to me asking for your mother to come back. Unfortunately there are some things that even Santa can’t fix, though I would’ve loved it if I could,” he explained sympathetically. There was silence in the room.

You had never told anyone what you wrote to Santa that year. Not even your father. How could you tell him to his face that all you wanted was your mother back, after she’d abandoned the both of you? How, then, did Scott Calvin know your biggest childhood wish?

“I…”

“(Y/n)?” Your dad’s voice called from a distance, but you were already climbing the stairs, two at a time. You had to get away from him. He just reminded you of all the pain you’d been through after that divorce. That was the last year you wrote to Santa. That was the year you stopped believing in Santa. Not even Charlie Calvin could convince you after that.

There was a knock on your bedroom door.

You hesitated, opening the door slowly. You were expecting it to be your dad. But it was Bernard, you were pretty sure that’s what Scott had said his name was.

“I offered to come check on you, it’s a lot at first to find out Santa is real. I’m the best at answering questions on this topic,” he offered.

You scoffed loudly. “And what are you, then? An elf?”

“I’m really sorry about your parents, (Y/n), but you seem really happy here. With Neil and Laura. And Charlie and Lucy,” he walked over to your bed, sitting cross legged on top, as if you’d invited him in for a quick friendly chat.

You felt yourself deflate slightly. There was no denying you did miss your mom, even though you saw her occasionally. It wasn’t enough. But at the same time, your father had tried really hard to rebuild a family for you. What more could you ask for?

“Bernard, if you and Scott are really who you say you are, then how does that work?” You asked, uncertainly.

He laughed slightly, standing and patting you on the back. “It’s nice to know we didn’t completely lose you.”

“I’m not saying I believe in Santa-!”

“Too late you already did!”

This guy was going to get on your last nerve, you could already tell but you found yourself laughing as he walked out ahead of you.

Scott really was Santa, Lucy was right. You’d never doubt her again.