#and you'll know I'm part of the problem
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So my roommate has their too much gene turned up to 11
two weeks ago I made tomato soup and they didn't want any until they saw it, and then it was too late. Said roommate also does the grocery shopping. Anyways I've had to make various kinds of tomato soup over the last week and a half due to how many tomatoes they've bought.
Today is the last of the demon fruit. There's a 50% chance they'll buy tomatoes like this AGAIN because I 'like making soup so much'. If that's the case, I'll be trapped in hell until I yell at them and tell them to stop buying tomatoes.
The problem is, I'm kind of on board with this situation because I really like grilled cheese.
#thea talks#if I post in 2 weeks just#AAAAAAAAA MAKE THE TOMATOES STOP#you'll know why#and you'll know I'm part of the problem#they bought THREE COSTCO CONTAINERS of on the vine tomats#at least buy the cheap ones aaa
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putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023
#apollo don't fucking touch this one#serious post#not a shitpost#hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day#fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists#i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it.#so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you?#what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown#at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal#i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid#like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies#and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line#probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored#luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap!#watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry#while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent#also eggs are $15
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google why does my 2019 macbook air turn into a fire-breathing dragon when i'm watching youtube sometimes please
#the answer is surely bc apple purposely makes their iOS more and more incompatible with older hardware each update#so that eventually you'll be forced to repeatedly buy newer models more frequently#but is there like............a fix for this#a more optimal browser maybe?#i'm spoiled by chrome but i know that's a ram eater and i'm sure part of the problem too lmao
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no one else can have your same experience. your memories are only your own, after all.
sharing something means creating a new memory - you don't know what kind of memory that will be. after all, we can't just conveniently implant other people with our own experiences (yet. hush now, pervert girls).
so part of being friends is accepting that things will be different, but they were valuable because we had each other by our side. does that make sense? it can be so easy to forget after you grow up once.
#as for me - i grow up slower than everyone around me#it's not a good or a bad thing - it just is#i like remaining the same person i've always been - even the parts i'm not proud of#i still don't feel like i'm fully-formed - which is a good thing#i still have room to grow#but sometimes i can be too critical of others#well - if they were me they would have perfect taste. but they'd have a whole host of other problems - wahahahaha!!#matters of taste are funny because taste only matters to the one doing the eating#well - often there can be disconnect or discord from values not being the same#because we want to feel secure in our own taste#but i keep coming back to “there's no accounting for taste”#as for me i want to enjoy lots of things and enjoy them deeply#i want to know what's wonderful about everything#an awfully hedonistic approach to life i'll admit#but it works for me#and i enjoy the things i enjoy so fully that my own taste is the best in the world - that's natural#to see it any other way would be to try to fit myself in someone else's box#i defy that in any context#you'll have to build your worldview around *me* coz i'm not going anywhere#so too in gender - so too in matters of taste#where was i going with this?#ah well#i love you and i love to share with you. that's the only thing that matters#my world is richer for having you in it#and i'm very very greedy#so i don't want to let the things i love go#random musings
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I don't like the mean girls musical because it's a worse version of Heathers but also. I wish it was a thing when I was in highschool because as the person who was always typecasted as the dumb one I would have KILLED IT as Karen
#you play one role as an archetype and suddenly it's all you'll ever be#I also haven't listened to the musical like. at all but I know a few parts and YEAH i would have TOTALLY been cast as Karen in a jr version#because my school had a HUGE problem with typecasting and only casting people who were the directors favorite#I was semi favorite? because I knew both directors we had but was also a dancer so they knew I had other commitments#I just. miss acting#I miss theater 😔#in a perfect world I would be an actor but like..... there's absolutely no way I'm even touching that as a occupation#maybe once I'm out of grad school I'll look into amateur theater again#but the theater world does lean towards hogh school - undergrad age unless you're a professional 😔😔😔😔
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22 isn't very much at all, I think.
#5am rambles#anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out#first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay#cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope#i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.
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I just realized my lasts two posts are complete tonal whiplash from my buttsecks post
#i think I'm thinking abt this bc I've been watching too many YouTube videos abt fucked up families doing really fucked up things#and like#yeah my family is fucked#but not like that#I'm not trying to downplay the fuckery#but the genre of fuckery is different from what the last two posts were abt lol#people in my family are just very disconnected from like#actively fixing anything abt it#like most of them are trying to or have talked about pursuing things like therapy and healthcare and things#and [redacted] I'm close enough with where like I know they aren't fucked in the head#and then my mom is just#severe unrecognized fully ADHD and probably autism#combined with very fucking low empathy#shes just very in her own world#but she's like#moreso a health nut white suburban mom#than someone you'll see on a documentary where extreme violence and abuse were involved#shes like#at least sometimes self aware that she has been part of the problem esp around me#its just#yeah
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Getting reeeeeeal sick of my parents' obsession with "healthy food". Like. I'm sorry, you're gonna tell me that ICEBERG LETTUCE isn't healthy enough??? It's not good for you???
Are you really surprised that u raised an anorexic with dozens of food-related OCD triggers. Are you really.
#For fucking YEARS you'll say this and refuse to buy it and only after I literally yell at you because#I'm so sick of everything I can physically manage to eat being called unhealthy and killing me#so you google the fucking nutrition information to find out it's basically the same as ur fucking#Godsend Spinach will you consider that Maybe they're both actually just a fucking vegetable?#why is it never fucking enough for these people.#they KNOW how little I'm physically capable of eating. they KNOW that I have so many OCD and sensory issues with food.#they KNOW I'm dangerously deficient in multiple vitamins and minerals and shit. they KNOW im significantly underweight.#yet they're still gonna comment on the sugar content and macros of everything I fucking blink at.#I'm fucking losing it dude what is their problem.#worst part is that this is just the fuckin tip of the iceberg with their food shit. pun not intended#I'm so goddamn over them dude it's not even funny#armchair speaks#food mention#weight mention#ed tw#eating disorder cw#tw implied abuse
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Hiii! Just wanted to say that gbf Eustace is best boy ever. My heart break because I've seen very little content for him around, too bad. I'll heal my broken heart patting his head thanks to my imagination LOL. Maybe cygames should put the possibility to pat characters in game? If they did behind a paywall I think they would get a lot of cash lmao.
HIII NONNY! you're SO right how does it feel to be the most right person ever
I don't talk about him much because i did skip a lot of Society event (the eternal "i want to read them all in order later" and then i never did), so i don't have a strong grasp of him in general despite seeing him in a few others events, but he always makes my heart full when he's on screen.
And Cygames definitely should give us opportunities to headpat them. They'd get so much money out of it.
At least we have his white days lines to picture patting his head?
Again great taste nonny, hope you'll get more Eustace content as it goes!!!
#it's true a huge majority of the fanbase mostly talks about the angels so DLKFJDKLFJ#the dragon knights probably were close second tho nowadays it's a bit more the 6 dragons no?#and i'm part of the problem since i talk about those a lot#but i know the suffering of liking some underrated gbf saga and not seeing lots of content about it :(#Society is popular but i don't see that much content for them.....#it's so sad.#i hope you'll find everything you need nonny!!!#in the meantime. pats his head pats his head p-#ichareply#ichafantalks gbf#anonymous
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♥!
#Title because body text is too small to encapsulate my Big Celebration#So if you've been following along the breadcrumbs of my Real Life nonsense you'll know I moved last October/November#And since then a lot of my didn't-think-at-the-time-was-that-necessary-but-actually-turned-out-to-be-pretty-frickin'-necessary Stuff#Has been back away. Yes for six months. No I'm not happy about it either but literally what am I supposed to do about it lol#And one of those things was my hammock! My bed! My reading spot! My favourite place!#Well tied for my favourite place with my rocking chair but splitting hairs really lol#And we just straight up couldn't find it - found the base! But not the cloth-and-rope part the actual hammock bit#So we bit the bullet and just bought a new one - the old one had been fraying and snapping like mad anyway so it was time#And it finally - Finally! Arrived today ouq#It feels amaaaazzzzinnnnggggg ahhhhhhhh#I really want to draw my excitement but that would require leaving it - yes I am typing this while reclined and rocking it's delightful#And the airflow! Ah!!#The only problem(s) now are well a) I never want to leave it again lol b) it's rather large#And part of the reason we couldn't locate my Various Items was because I don't have a room yet - nowhere to put it#So it's just kinda....in the way lol#And then c).....my employer asked for a night shift. Tonight. And tomorrow. Out. So I can't sleep in my hammock :') Until Sunday#So :'D#But!!! OTHER THAN THAT!!!! Lol#Most importantly going forward I have my reading spot back ahhhhhhhh AHHHHHH#I'm gonna read so much!! I have so many reading plans!!!!!!#HAMMOCK!! AHH!!#Update: She called off ahhhhhhHHHHHH
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Marcille: "Uhhh . . . I'm so hungry . . ."
Laios: "We should have waited until we were at the end of this maze to kill and eat the minotaur. Senshi, what do we have left?"
Senshi: "We're good on water due to that aquifer leaking into the maze, but otherwise all we have left is my spices and this unopened bottle of benadryl."
Laios: "Hmm . . ."
Marcille: "Laois, look at me. Benadryl isn't food."
Laios: "I know that, but what if we were to kill and eat the Hat Man?"
Chilchuck: "WHAT?"
Senshi: "What's the Hat Man?"
Marcille: *sighs* "It's a shared hallucination, generally induced by certain kinds of drug intake. Some mages have tried to study if it's real but were unable to prove that it stayed tangible or present after they sobered up."
Senshi: "So that benadryl would lure the Hat Man to us, and give us a chance to fight it? That will be tough. Sounds like we will have to kill, cook and eat it all before the medicine wears off if it will lose tangibility otherwise."
Laois: "That's it! If we need only one or two of us to kill the Hat Man, then the rest can be dosed up only right before the meal is done cooking."
Senshi: "There's one problem with that. Dwarves are basically immune to any tallmen drug that isn't prescription strength. I'll need half the bottle just to have enough time to eat the meal. Chilchuck, you'll be able to use it the most efficiently because of how little you weigh. I can make sure that the fire is ready, but you'll have to fight the Hat Man alone and dose Marcille afterwards to help you with the cooking prep. Laios and I shouldn't risk taking more than needed just to eat."
Chilchuck: "ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE HAT MAN IS REAL! And I don't do the fighting in this group! There's NO WAY that-"
Narrator: And so with their plan formulated, Chilchuck took a heavy dose of benadryl and prepared to fight the Hat Man in single combat.
Part 2
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My ankle journey
I am sharing this with all you good people on the dash because I am so fucking mad it took so long for me to learn it and if I can spare one (1) person the agony it will be worth it.
So for like...oh, 8 or 9 months, I've been struggling with pain/inflammation/tendinitis in my left Achilles tendon. I don't know what caused it. It just started up (welcome to middle age, this shit happens). It wasn't severe enough to be debilitating, but it was annoying and limiting. It was also intermittent, in that some days it would be very painful and other days hardly at all. The kind of shoe I was wearing affected it a lot.
Now, I have bone spurs on both heels (it's just a thing that happens as you get older sometimes). I'm also aware that heel pain is usually the result of tight calf muscles that pull and irritate the tendon. I tried stretching that calf muscle. You know the stretch, this bitch right here:
I did it all the time. I also iced the ankle after walking for awhile, hoping to avoid inflammation. Results were...unsatisfying.
I went to:
A chiropractor
A podiatrist
A physical therapist
A bodywork coach
They all gave me some variation on the "strengthen your calf muscle, stretch your calf muscle" advice. I continued doing this without results.
I was getting frustrated, and a little afraid that this was just my life now. Finally, I thought...maybe some targeted massage might help. I asked for rec on a local FB site and was pointed to a woman who specializes in therapeutic massage including cupping, etc.
I went to her a week ago.
She spent over half our first session working on my left lower leg. Within about 10 minutes of making my eyes water, she uttered the sentence I did not know I had been waiting to hear:
"Oh, it's your soleus."
Excuse me, what?
"It's your soleus that's the culprit. It's all tied up and stiff." She started digging into it and I felt literal sparks run up my leg as she released adhesions and got the muscle moving a little. When she finally put the leg down, it felt like it was on fire with all the blood rushing into it.
She said, "You'll need to stretch your soleus. It'll clear up, but it'll take a bit of time - tendons take ages to heal."
But I HAVE been stretching.
"No, you haven't. The usual straight-leg calf stretch only stretches the gastrocnemius, that's the big belly muscle in your calf. That's not your problem. That stretch doesn't stretch the soleus. Don't worry, I'll show you how to stretch it."
My mind is spinning.
So here are the muscles in question:
The gastroc (as the pros call it) just attaches down the back but the soleus runs underneath it from the knee around the side to the heel. The lower part above the ankle is where it typically gets tight and forms adhesions.
To stretch it, you do the same calf thing where you put your foot back and press your heel to the ground, but you have to do it with your KNEE BENT:
The bent knee keeps the gastroc from engaging. It's one of those selfish muscles (like traps) - if you give it an inch, it'll just take over and prevent other muscles from working or stretching. There are other ways to stretch the soleus but this is the easiest and you can literally do it anywhere. I've been doing it while standing and waiting for things (the elevator to come, the toast to toast). You just put the heel back and bend the knee. It's kind of like curtseying.
The minute I did this stretch, I could FEEL where it was pulling on my tendon. I knew that THIS had been the problem.
The massage therapist also told me to stop icing my heel. She said icing is for an acute injury, but a more chronic aggravation needs heat, to increase blood flow for healing. She recommended elevation with heat every day (I've been doing it in bed during "phone before bed" time).
I have been doing the soleus stretch at least half a dozen times a day for almost a week, and the ankle is at least 70% better. It is still a little tight and tender, but the improvement is significant. I think a few more weeks will have it feeling normal.
I am...blown away by this. This massage therapist was able to pinpoint an issue in only a few minutes that eluded all the other professionals I saw. I can't wait to go back to her and have her solve all my other problems, tbh.
#massage therapy#soleus muscle#achilles tendon#bodywork#i am so mad i didn't go to her last winter#why did nobody else tell me this#physical therapy
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ snuggles for hire
summary: first years try helping you out with your touch-starved problem type of post: short fics (blurbs?) characters: leona, floyd, jade, vil additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
"Really? That's it?" Ace scoffs.
"So, they haven't been hugged in a while. Okay? Neither has Deuce,"
Deuce glares. It's almost menacing. "That's not true, and you know it! I get lots of hugs every time I visit home!"
"I do, too. But that's just the thing, though, ain't it?" Epel says. "They don't have no home to get hugs from."
The huddle of first years goes quiet. Some days, you become such a part of their world, they forget you're really not from it.
"...Okay, point taken," Ace sighs. "But they have Grim! And he only stinks like, half the time!"
"If memory serves, Grim usually sleeps on the floor..." Epel says. "Poor prefect, all lonely. Now even their sleep is suffering 'cause of it!"
Jack rubs the back of his neck. "It must be tough, not having anything to look forward to,"
Another melancholy silence. Finally, Ace stands, hands on his hips.
"Well, let's do something about it, then. There are tons of boys at this school- one of them should be willing to help,"
It's eight in the morning after another disappointing attempt at rest, and now you can't even sleep in. Damn visitors.
You throw open the front door.
"What? What could you possibly- wh- Leona?"
The housewarden smirks. He looks a little too proud of himself for this early in the morning...
"A little wolfie told me you weren't sleeping well. Lucky for you, that's my specialty. Now, are you gonna let me in, or what?"
He doesn't wait for an answer, letting himself in and making himself comfortable on the couch in the foyer.
He pats the spot next to him.
"Listen..." you say. "I don't know what you heard, but I'm fine."
"Don't be proud. I don't pity you, I just... owe you. Now get your butt over here, yeah?"
Leona isn't so scary when he's asleep. He's more like... the world's largest pillow. Of course, you're at risk of being smothered until you crawl into a better position, but once you're on top, he's surprisingly warm and comfortable.
You can tell you're being watched before you hear anything.
And you think you might just know wh-
"Shrimpyyy!"
For two boys so tall, the tweels are awfully quiet. Especially when it comes to "surprising" you in random places. This time: the hall.
Floyd pulls you into a bone-crushing hug while Jade watches from behind, smiling subtly.
When he finally lets you down, you're dizzy. (Though, at this point, you'll take whatever physical touch you can get).
"Shrimpyyy, why didn't you tell us you were lonely? We had to squeeze it outta Spade," Floyd pouts.
"His face makes fascinating expressions when he's afraid," Jade says, merrily.
Before you can answer, Floyd's already got you under his arm (seriously? Where do they find the strength?) and is heading straight towards the hall of mirrors.
You already know there's no getting out of this one...
Floyd is, unsurprisingly, all over, from leaning his whole body weight against you to lying across your lap, to biting your shoulder (in his sleep...?) Oh, and he drools, too.
Jade sits on your other side, one hand holding yours, the other leafing through an almanac from twenty years ago.
You're almost hesitant to admit just how nice it really is.
"And nothing else has worked?" Vil says, throwing open the door to your bedroom with no regard for a "hello" or, "how are you?"
You blink. "...Hello to you, too. May I ask what you're talking about?"
He storms inside, standing over you with his hands on his hips.
"Just that I overheard Epel Felmier asking my vice housewarden if he would be willing to satisfy your need for physical affection. You've been struggling? With sleep? And you didn't think to come to me, first?"
He almost sounds... offended that you didn't.
"...Well... I wasn't making a big deal about it,"
"So, no teas, no vitamins, no pills- nothing has helped?"
You shake your head. He sighs.
"Perhaps it is purely psychological... very well. Get up. I hope you don't toss and turn much, I'm a light sleeper,"
Vil is completely still when he sleeps. No tossing, no turning, no drooling, no snoring. He also insists on sleeping on his back, you, clinging to his side, and a single arm around you. Just as elegant as when he's awake. He'd be a true sleeping beauty if not for the mumbles of nonsense that come from him every few minutes. You swear you can make out your own name, once or twice or three times...
He is warm nonetheless, and his mumbles and idle stroking of his fingers on your waist is enough to satisfy you for a night of good sleep.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#vil schoenheit x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#floyd leech x reader#jade leech x reader
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I do wish that "oppositional sexism" was a more commonly known term. It was coined as part of transmisogyny theory, and is defined as the belief that men and women, are distinct, non-overlapping categories that do not share any traits. If gender was a venn diagram, people who believe in oppositional sexism think that "men" and "women" are separate circles that never touch.
The reason I think that it's a useful term is that it helps a lot with articulating exactly why a lot of transphobic people will call a cis man a girl for wearing nail polish, then turn around and call a trans woman a man. Both of those are enforcement of man and woman as non-overlapping social categories. It's also a huge part of homophobia, with many homophobes considering gay people to no longer really belong to their gender because they aren't performing it to their satisfaction.
It's a large part of the reason behind arguments that men and women can't understand each other or be friends, and/or that either men or women are monoliths. If men and women have nothing in common at all, it would be difficult for them to understand each other, and if all men are alike or all women are alike, then it makes sense to treat them all the same. Enforcing this rift is particularly miserable for women and men in close relationships with each other, but is often continued on the basis that "If I'm not a real man/woman, they won't love me anymore."
One common "progressive" form of oppositional sexism is an idea often put as the "divine feminine", that women are special in a way that men will never understand. It's meant to uplift women, but does so in ways that reinforce the idea that men and women are fundamentally different in ways that can never be reconciled or transcended. There's a reason this rhetoric is hugely popular among both tradwifes and radical feminists. It argues that there is something about women that men will never have or know, which is appealing when you are trying to define womanhood in a way that means no man is or ever has been a part of it.
You'll notice that nonbinary people are sharply excluded from the definition. This doesn't mean it doesn't apply to them, it means that oppositional sexism doesn't believe nonbinary people of any kind exist. It's especially rough on multigender people who are both men and women, because the whole idea of it is that men and women are two circles that don't overlap. The idea of them overlapping in one person is fundamentally rejected.
I think it's a very useful term for talking about a lot of the problems that a lot of queer people face when it comes to trying to carve out a place for ourselves in a society that views any deviation from rigid, binary categories as a failure to perform them correctly.
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I didn't play KHUX when it was coming out and I've got the app NOW but I probably will not do the whole thing since it's not playable anymore(?)* but something about Ephemer is very enchanting to me by which I mean I enjoy him greatly and also for some reason find the entire concept of him and his role in the story like knee-slapping hilarious. In the most sympathetic way possible. and I'm mildly obsessed with him
*I downloaded the app to play Dark Road actually cause I didn't know they were on the same one and then I saw they were and I thought "oh maybe I'll play that one too then" but then, someone tell me if I'm missing something, but it only seems to have theatre mode and I'm not watching all that, respectfully. I'll watch the highlights and I'll read the wiki and that's plenty for me
#i am not a mobile games person in general#i have no problem with them they're just not for me#i also flat out call bullshit on people who say you HAVE to play them or else you'll be totally lost on the console series#they're trying to make this series more accessible for new players not less. they turned X into a cinematic. they ported Coded to DS#lots of players don't even know about the mobile games and it would be an idiotic choice from a business perspective to leave them behind#play the mobile games because you like them not because you think you have to#cause I'm extremely confident that the parts that will be necessary going forward are going to be rehashed one way or another#they'll explain to Sora who Strelitzia is.#that's my tags rant
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In a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lives in the compound:
Steve, walking into the living room: Don't worry Buck I think you'll really fit in around here. Everyone is super nice
Peter: Oh my god you're living here too?! Can I please look at your arm? Please please please please please-
Bucky: *turns around and leaves*
-
Clint: So... wanna test if your spider-sense defeats my perfect aim?
Peter: Oh my god do I ever
Tony & Steve: NO.
-
Peter: Hi. Big fan. Y'know we're like a spider duo. Crime fighting spiders. Arachnid pals
Natasha, staring blankly:
Peter: Web friends? SPY-ders?
Natasha:
Peter: Spinneret associates?
Natasha: Leave.
Peter: Yes okay sorry ma'am
-
During a meal:
Bucky: *glaring at Sam*
Sam: Ay Rogers come get your dog
Steve: Bucky, leave it
Bucky: *glares down at soup instead*
-
Peter: Mr. Rogers could you help me with my homework?
Tony: What the hell kid, I'm right here
Bruce: I have... so many degrees
Steve: Hey I know a thing or two myself. Sure Queens, what do you got?
Peter: Great! I'm just gonna ask some questions for my essay. What would you say the role of war propaganda was in your decision to enroll in the military? Was being poor a factor? Actually, how was the Great Depression for you?
Steve: Less depressing than this conversation.
-
Steve: Take a jacket, it's chilly
Wanda: Okay thanks dad
Steve:
Wanda:
Peter: Ha! That's so embarrassing, it's like calling your teacher dad
Wanda: Shut up Peter, you call Tony dad all the time
Peter: Yeah but I do it on purpose so it's not embarrassing. I'm very open about my daddy issues
-
Tony: I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth
Steve:
Tony: Looking at me with your angelic blue eyes, like a freak
Steve:
Tony: Stupid Dorito ass build. Making me wanna take a bite
Steve: I feel harassed but I'm not sure what kind
-
Natasha: Hey bird brain!
Clint and Sam both turn:
Natasha: Hm, that's a problem. You have thirty seconds to decide who gets bird brain. The other will be feather head
Clint and Sam: *start arguing*
Tony: I can't believe they're fighting to be called an insult
Steve: She has that effect on people
Peter: Aw man, I wish the Black Widow gave me a nickname :(
-
Peter: Hey old man
Bucky:
Peter: I'M SO SORRY SIR MR. WILSON MADE ME DO IT PLEASE DONT KILL ME
Sam: *cackling in the background*
Bucky: *stands up and turns to Sam*
Sam: Oh shit- kid you're not getting the money if you're gonna snitch!
Peter: That's okay, I'd like to think my life is worth more than twenty bucks
-
Bucky: I need your... help
Tony: Sure, what's up?
Bucky: *glances back at Steve who stands in the doorway and nods approvingly*
Bucky: Arm.
Tony: Ok... this conversation is killing you isn't it?
Bucky:
Tony: Say please
Bucky: Nope can't do it-
Steve: Do I need to get out the get-along shirt?
*Bucky and Tony share a look of alarm*
Bucky: Please fix my arm
Tony: Yep of course no problem buddy
-
Read Part 2 and Part 3
#marvel mcu#peter parker#irondad and spiderson#marvel incorrect quotes#incorrect marvel#incorrect marvel quotes#tony stark#steve rogers#bucky barnes#natasha romanoff#sam wilson#wanda maximoff#bruce banner#spider man#the avengers#avengers#mcu#captain america civil war#clint barton#stony#stevetony
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