#hastirot

[strohller27]

I'm sorry EXCUSE ME LADS but what is this ABSOLUTE SLEEPOVER BEHAVIOUR I'M

Hastings: Poirot are you asleep.

Poirot: yes

Hastings: oh good. me either. wasn't that seance thing that happened at dinner so creepy lol how do they do that

Poirot: *does that*

Hastings: OMG THAT'S AMAZING HOW DID YOU DO THAT

Poirot: yes. so amazing. alas it is only guesswork. now shut up and let me sleep

they're so funny I'm never gonna be normal about this

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

Okay so I was enjoying watching Poirot and Hastings flirt look for clues the other night WHEN I NOTICED

LADS LOOK AT JAPP'S FACE

LADS HELP I'M DYING

[darthlenaplant]

For the amount of times I have seen Poirot calling Hastings "mon ange" in fics, I have yet to discover an AU where Hastings actually IS one.

I am bad at drawing wings and 30's fashion, but hey, I just gotta practice.

I don't think that Poirot would ever fucking say "get a load of this guy", but he absolutely would tell Hastings to look at a foolish person in that smug way of his anyway LOL

[tinta11e]

OP tags:

Hastings' accent isn't really all that terrible, it's certainly not halting or stilted; the words come easily to him and he's excellent at the conjugation and syntax and vocabulary, it's just...noticeably English, and Poirot has a tendency to correct his pronunciation a lot which gets in the way of conversation, and doesn't exactly make Hastings feel good about himself :(but Poirot only does it because he knows Hastings can do better! he's trying to help!, unfortunately Poirot is not very good at helping

Headcanon that, while Hastings is fluent in French, he doesn't have a particularly good accent, so he prefers to speak in English when able.

This leads to conversations with Poirot when Poirot is particularly tired or frustrated where Poirot speaks entirely in French and Hastings speaks entirely in English.

[strohller27]

Rewatching the Mysterious Affair at Styles again because yes

And I love how Poirot recognises Hastings right away even though he apparently hasn’t seen him in years

And he immediately comes in to embrace him (and there’s Hastings’ hand on Poirot’s waist again @darthlenaplant !!)

And of all of these pictures of their embrace in this episode, I will never be over this one (Poirot’s hand on Hastings’ shoulder. Standing cheek to cheek with Hastings all too briefly):

Or the fact that they sit there holding and shaking each other’s hands and smiling at one another for a good solid like. 20 seconds after embracing

And moments like this are the closest Poirot can get to the object of his affections within the confines of societal heteronormativity in 1917

Excuse me while I go cry about it

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

LISTEN The differences in reactions to Hastings smiling fondly at Poirot here are SENDING ME

Japp is just like "I know what you are, Hastings"

and MISS LEMON?? THE KNOWING LOOK SHE IS GIVING HASTINGS!? Like WHEN ARE YOU JUST GOING TO GIVE IN AND KISS HIM, BABE

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

Listen I love this scene So Much it's literally just

Poirot: *Complaining incessantly about """"These Conditions"""" / Nature in general*

Hastings: 🥰 Ohh 🥰 He's 🥰 so 🥰 cute 🥰 when 🥰 he 🥰✨complains✨🥰

[darthlenaplant]

I call it #Hastirot, but that's just me and about one other person here

The alternative to that one would be #Poirstings or something I presume?

Usually most shipping stuff IS found under the #Poirot x Hastings tag anyway, that seems to be the oldest one here on tumblr?

What in belgium is the Poirot/Hastings ship tag and why is it not #TheLittleGayCells

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

*Walks up to a gay couple*

So which one of you is the diva that takes 15 hours to get ready and is constantly preening in the mirror but always looks like a million bucks and absolutely deserves every single compliment they receive

& which one of you is the golden retriever who tags along for fun and is just happy to be here?

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

Ough! He's so! Fond!!! my HEART

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, POIROT FANDOM!!

Those who were around for my @screencaps51-blog days might remember. that when I am on my screencapping bullshit, it means there will likely be silly valentines at some point

So here they are!!

I hope you like them! I am actually super proud of them. they took me 87 years to complete because of all those stupid lines I decided to put on the pictures. it was a labour of love LOL

aaand obligatory disclaimer under the cut

I am not making any money off of these! They were made for fun and no copyright infringement on whoever owns the rights to the series was intended! (ITV is credited on the valentines themselves as the people who own the rights to the photos)

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

Very! First! Episode!

And we already get them standing VERY close together

Within literal KISSING DISTANCE

and listen shhh I *KNOW* it was because they needed to both be in the closeup shot and this was formatted to fit tiny ass TV screens look I may not have been around when the show first started airing but I remember the 90s okay I remember how small & crappy the screens were

But I dare you to look me RIGHT SQUARE in the eye and Tell me that Hercule Poirot does not want to grab this Beautiful Blue-Eyed Englishman by the back of his thin little neck and Kiss Him Silly???

and listen I may be projecting on these two here but I WON'T BELIEVE YOU

AND You know what? If you tell me that Hastings doesn't want to Kiss That Dandy Little Belgian Detective Until His Moustache is Crooked and Then Kiss Him Some More For Good Measure???

Then YOU WOULD BE DEAD WRONG!!! BECAUSE, IF THE JURY WILL DIRECT THEIR ATTENTION TO EXHIBIT H-O-H* OVER HERE:

LISTEN!? THAT IS ABSOLUTELY!! THE MOST!! WARM AND FOND LITTLE SMILE!!! CAPTAIN ARTHUR HASTINGS OBVIOUSLY LOVES MONSIEUR HERCULE POIROT YOUR HONOUR I REST MY CASE!!

*Yes lads that is Exhibit H-O-H for HEAD-OVER-HEELS

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

God, I adore this scene: First we get THIS LOVELY EXCHANGE that the ENTIRE FANDOM HAS LOST OUR COLLECTIVE MINDS OVER

Hastings is just hanging out IN HIS UNDERPANTS letting Poirot fix his bowtie and Poirot wants his Hastings to look perfect and you just KNOW he wants to be affectionate and touch him all the time but this is one of the only times he gets to touch him and if you watch it closely he lets!! his hands linger!! near Hastings' neck for a very fleeting moment!! and I'm EMO ABOUT IT OKAY

And then. We get Hastings just. casually getting dressed in front of Poirot and you KNOW Poirot was just. raking those eyes all over Hastings' skinny little Englishman body when Hastings wasn't looking

Look at him smiling at him!!! Look at that!!! Secret!!! Little Smile!!! He's so full of love!!!!

And Poirot! is so SHAPED!!

His name literally shares the same root with the French word for "pear" HE ABSOLUTELY MUST BE PEAR-SHAPED OKAY IT IS LAW.

...okay. I think I'm done.

NOPE WAIT NEVERMIND. I LIED.

THIS SHOT!! IS SO. DOMESTIC!!! THEY'RE SO COMFORTABLE AROUND EACH OTHER

I LOOK AT THIS PICTURE AND I WANT THEM TO RETIRE TOGETHER AND HELP EACH OTHER GET DRESSED LIKE THIS WHEN THEY'RE GETTING READY TO GO OUT TO DINNER AND A SHOW

AND THEN GIVE EACH OTHER LITTLE KISSES ON THEIR CHEEKS OR ON THEIR GREYING TEMPLES AND I'M. I JUST. I'M CRYIGN,, THEY'RE SO.

HELP ME LADS THEY MAKE ME WAMNT TO BELIEVE IN LOVE

[strohller27]

Okay so I have something else to say about 3.10 The Affair at the Victory Ball tho too because like.

Hastings. is going to a literal MASQUERADE BALL. And who does he invite? A lady friend? NOPE. He invites his dearest friend Hercule Poirot. And when Poirot shows disinterest in going? He knows EXACTLY how to manipulate him into going the married-couple-est behaviour I swear to Monsieur Bob

H: Aw Poirot, you didn't forget, did you?? But you p r o m i s e d ! !

P: Sorry Hastings but I am busy I must perform my autistic little tasks rearrange my stamp collection by size

H: Aww that's SUCH a shame... My friend says that meeting you was gonna be the LITERAL BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM but if you can't go I guess I'll have to disappoint him

P: Oh, well why didn't you just say my adoring fans were awaiting me in the first place, Hastings? When do we leave

And this is the face of a man who knows he's won:

[a-host-of-dancing-daffodils]

Okay. I present these beautiful screencaps without comment EXCEPT. That I find it kinda funny that the colour scheme of Hastings' tie matches the train seat upholstery a little too well LOL

[strohller27]

Okay listen. This WHOLE scene has got me going absolutely bonkers nuts okay

Hastings is like. Why do you want to know where that blackmailer lives Poirot?

and """"Mr. Innocent"""" is sitting over here with his frikken fingers tented like come on Hastings why do you think?

But then it starts to dawn on Hastings, oh.

Oh, you're gonna be a bad boy, aren't you Poirot?

You're gonna break into that guy's house, aren't you, you naughty, naughty boy

and Poirot's just like. and what if I do

And Hastings is like. Not only are you gonna break into his house but you're gonna STEAL something from him, you bad, bad boy

ohh just look at that smirk lads he is INTO this he LOVES IT when Poirot is a bad, naughty boy

& Poirot KNOWS he's into it

HELP LADS I THINK WE'RE WITNESSING THEIR FOREPLAY