#people in my family are just very disconnected from like
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When I started crocheting regularly as an adult, it was in 2004 when "Not Your Grandma's" was supposed to be the height of coolness, and it pissed me off so much and still does because I learned from my grandma. Every stitch I make is my grandma's. Why is it so fucking important to disconnect my grandmother from my art? And why are we trying so fucking hard to instill the idea that our grandmother's way of stitching was less cool or interesting or engaging as how we do it?
Sean's grandma passed this year, and I am now the very proud owner of some really lovely embroidery and crochet pieces for the house. They're not uncool or silly or stupid. They're useful items that were made beautiful by the patience, care, skill, and talent of a woman. Who was younger than I am now when she made at least some of them (there's a whole set of table runners that just scream hope chest).
And these items are USEFUL to boot. That blanket? Keeps you warm. Those doilies? Keep grime from building up under the lamp and sticking to the table.
I'm not immune to the "Huh, silly thing people used to do" take, for the record. I've only recently realized that maybe our grandmothers' (and parents' in my case bathrooms) have fuzzy toilet covers and fuzzy floor mats because it catches all the goddamn toilet paper fuzz in the air, and it's faster to vacuum the fuzzy toilet lid cover and rugs than it is to dust all that goddamn paper fluff off surfaces and then sweep it up and hope half of it didn't end up back on the shelf.
But also, all of the crafts mentioned in the article were about making a home more beautiful. The home was the woman's sphere, and it was her job amongst many to make it an attractive and nice place to be. And in treating fiber arts like you must get away from your grandmother's influence, you are treating the home she built for herself and her family as dismissible and not worth respect.
In the end, it comes down to the dismissal of skilled labor because it was a woman doing it at home. Even if that work kept the family fed (lacework has saved a lot of lives in particular). Even if it kept the family warm (slippers, blankets, jackets, sweaters, mittens, scarves, hats), even if it kept the family house neater (how much dust did those doilies soak up so it was easier and faster to clean the whole house?), even if it kept the family looking respectable (my grandmother once darned my mother's canvas band shoe than buy her a new pair; favorite story). Even if it kept the family safe (potholders and hot pads).
Because this skill was used to help a family and done up in popular styles of the time, it's devalued and ignored. When, in fact, all it takes for any of those items to be of the moment again is usually just a color update.
This all day long ⌠Elena Kanagy-Loux's article is right-on. I myself have made it a point in recent years not to share any content that glibly uses the phrase, "not your grandma's " because it's a) lazy and b) dismisses the real fact that grandmothers and older textile artists have worked hard to keep craft traditions alive and evolving, not to mention their immense skills. We should be thanking them and looking to them for inspiration, not mocking them. via @hyperallergic â¤ď¸
#crochet#knitting#sewing#fiber arts#if you think any of this is only worth your time if it's not your grandma's#you can get the fuck out of my house
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I just realized my lasts two posts are complete tonal whiplash from my buttsecks post
#i think I'm thinking abt this bc I've been watching too many YouTube videos abt fucked up families doing really fucked up things#and like#yeah my family is fucked#but not like that#I'm not trying to downplay the fuckery#but the genre of fuckery is different from what the last two posts were abt lol#people in my family are just very disconnected from like#actively fixing anything abt it#like most of them are trying to or have talked about pursuing things like therapy and healthcare and things#and [redacted] I'm close enough with where like I know they aren't fucked in the head#and then my mom is just#severe unrecognized fully ADHD and probably autism#combined with very fucking low empathy#shes just very in her own world#but she's like#moreso a health nut white suburban mom#than someone you'll see on a documentary where extreme violence and abuse were involved#shes like#at least sometimes self aware that she has been part of the problem esp around me#its just#yeah
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Iâm sorry but the flat way that the fandom tackles the Enji Todoroki problem is so blegh. Yes, how he treated them (especially Shoutoâwe donât 100% know if Touyaâs training was the same, especially because he actually liked his training) was wrong, the way he treated his wife was wrong, the way he ignored his other kids is wrong. HOWEVER, him cutting Touya off from training was NOT 100% wrong. Should he have treated it more delicately? Yes. Should he have been more considerate to his kid? Yes. Should he have gotten him some kind of therapy to help him cope with his obvious mental issues? Also yes. But cutting him off from training when he gets hurt doing so and itâs unavoidable is NOT wrong. He was trying to prevent exactly what happened in the end. Maybe he could have revisited it a few years later when training isnât all Touya is and looked into support items, idk, but Enjiâs approach was the right decision in the wrong way.
#really Touya had some mental issues that couldnât have just been from enji#because looking at it he wasnât as bad on screen to Touya as he was to shouto#I feel like no one talks about that#shoutoâs trauma kinda gets overlooked because he was strong enough to overcome it#but it was still there and erasing it erases his whole character arc#and really in the end touya did bad things. he became a villain. he killed people#despite the whole âtouya died dabi was bornâ thing they had going on (which was NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY#ITS A LITERARY ELEMENT THAT EXPRESSES FIGURATIVE REBIRTH) people in this fandom oh so love to disconnect touya from dabi#they are the SAME PERSON#touya tried to KILL shouto when he was a baby#he has had VERY deep-seated issues for a very long time#and honestly I think he was born with it#and the environment he grew up in made it worse#thatâs just my two cents tho#shouto todoroki#touya todoroki#dabi todoroki#dabi#mha dabi#mha#bnha#enji todoroki#todoroki#todoroki family
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sometimes dreams are insightful. like the time i had a dream where i fell asleep on the shoulder of my former best friend and realized it was because i missed hugging her.
sometimes theyâre stupid though and mean absolutely nothing. like the one i just had about a weird marionette doll and her frankenstein like husband having to flee their adams family style house to some random italian countryside to escape the police while trying to figure out how to be parents to their newborn child
#kiwi shares their thoughts#i had⌠a lot of dreams i remembered today#what i hate is that my favorite one was interrupted before it finished#but even before that it was like my dream psyched me out#i was waiting for something and then it fucking changed the subject#false hope in a dream is a sucker punch to the gut when you wake up#iâm just not gonna read too much into it because sometimes you shouldnât put so much stalk in dreams#so even though it sucks to think about that dream when iâm awake#itâs still my favorite because it made me feel the best in the dream#what iâm learning though#is that iâm craving cuddles#cause two of my dreams were about that#and it was from different people so i think itâs just a general want and not from a specific person#i had i think four different distinct dreams i remember but all of them but one did that dream morph thing#where the plot/art style changed halfway through#so even though it was a continuous sequence of events theyre almost disconnected enough to count as separate dreams#but they were actually just one long semi-cohesive dream#what WAS super crazy though was in the last dream the art style literally changed#like it went from real people with weird old hollywood horror movie effects and quality#to an almost combo of adams family-stop motion-book of life-willoughbys type style#the visual representation changed as the character and plot and vibe of the story changed#yo but that was probably the most interesting dream of the four#it had insane plot and cool animation and even the very disturbing beginning part was cool if ur into things that are a little fucked up bu#overall wholesome
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As an autistic child who didn't fit in anywhere, I always looked at the people I knew with strong ties to their heritage with big ol sparkly eyes. I would constantly pester my family about our heritage. Of course, Native American would be included in the list. Potawatomi, I'd be told, "she was the daughter of the chief," someone claimed at some point... Then I grew up, learned history, studied anthropology, and all together came to realize that any native heritage I had (if I had any to begin with) was nothing more than a "fun fact" to my family. It didn't mean anything to anyone.
I was still curious, though, and through working on a family tree for a few years, I realized I did have "native heritage," an x-times great grandma who was Shawnee. It made me wonder a lot of things. Did she pass on any of her culture to her children, or, for any of the numerous reasons that would have prevented/pressured her to not, didn't? And if she did teach her children, when did it stop being passed down? At what point did she stop being our grandmother and start being a "fun fact"?
#disclaimer time#i do not in any way identify as native#and while I do want to learn more about her and her culture#I'm not seeking to âreclaim a culture I've been disconnected fromâ or anything like that#and honestly#even though I want to know these things#I more so would never want to impose upon people who have no obligation to teach me these things#Don't read anything deeper into this#because at the end of the day#I'm just an autistic nerd with special interests in anthropology and family history#admittedly#Curious if others have had similar experiences#but I want to first and foremost stay in my own lane and not insert myself where i dont belong#and the reason im âfixatingâ on this part of my tree#is that information#even further back#is easy to obtain for my ancestors#I'm very privileged in that regard#but all i have for her is a name. and i dont even know if it's her birth name#her story is just...gone...#musings#ramblings#heritage#anthropology#family history
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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight#completely allosexual man#light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life#before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly#good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care#anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character#hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others#just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to#be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense#also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his#entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this#but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change#himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends#their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them#i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything#long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now#jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad#derailed my own damn post. idk swagever#will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to#such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like#that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows#he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house#and i thought that was such a cool analogy#ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings#serena.txt#death note posting#infizero.analysis
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#another case where I post something entirely random that has nothing to do with anything I've ever posted here#and seems very different from costumes and cat pictures or etc. but ghbhj..... I could spend hours having pointless conversations#with myself like this. briefly got fixated on making fake chats on this website for a period of like 3 days straight a few months ago#(its 'chat-simulator.com/simulator' I think..???) but I made a ton of them.. one with some random family bickering with each other. another#that was like a magic school group chat with like 8 differnet students helping each other with an assignment#and just talking about things. another was a fake text xonversation between a king's assistant#and someone who was working in the castle kitchens and they were trying to plan a time to meet up to exchange the stuff that the assistant#stole from the king so that the chef could sell the items on a black market or whatever. then this one with just some weird#group of friends trying to plan to meet up to play golf and etc. etc. etc.#Talking to myself has always been one of my favorite hobbies. for some reason it's so fun lol#just making up random discussions people might have#not even entertaining or interesting or funny ones but just like... anything.. it doesn't matter. It could be a 5 hour long discussion abou#cheese or something.#THOUGH maybe that is just an extension of having always been a writer like.......... isn't that basically just what writing is? making up#fake scenarios and conversations between fake people?? lol... But I guess Writing Writing usually has some sort of goal or story you're#trying to tell. Whereas stufff just like ''3 elves discuss their favorite bread toppings for 15 minutes'' has no purpose#and is not even that interesting or cool so there's no reason behind it and is more just silly fun I guess#Aside from the physical health problems and ocd over something bad happening to me or etc. I've often thought I would be good at one#of those 'get locked in a blank white room for 24 hours' type challenges. since I would probably just sit there and be like 'okey. :3#I shall have an elaborate group conversation about elven politics with myself.' and would just pace around the room acting as different#people arguing with each other for like 6 hours lol#ANYWAY.. ultimate recreational activity...#one tiny little glimpse here of the sorts of things that my computer is full of but that i never post lol#Its interesting how communication develops when you're just talking to yourself alone in a vacuum. Sort of like inside jokes between two#best friends that just seem nonsense to everyone else. My folders of things that probably just read as disconnected gibberish or something#but are just mildly amusing to me.#Though also I just realized this is so tiny on tumblr I can barely read it.. hrrm.
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Iâm really not liking bly manor nearly as much as hill house. I feel like the strength of hill house was the family dynamic underpinning everything and made me invested and interested in these characters and how they fit together, and thereâs not really anything as compelling here :/ I donât think I can bring myself to finish the last two and a half episodes. at least not right now.
#also in hill house I feel like everyoneâs hauntings/supernatural events were very much a reflection of their own issues yknow#and this just feels scattered#like idgaf about whatâs going on I donât know these people#itâs not like. interesting.#I get that a family is a lot easier to get faster reads on characters and their relationships but ughhghhghhh#everyone seems so disconnected from everyone else itâs like Iâm just watching random peoples stories that just happen to be at the same#place in the same show#thereâll be a little bit of oh! I see! đ how interesting where are they going to go with this?#and then they just move on to something else#it doesnât feel as cohesive and doesnât have the same sense of building up as hill house#also not as scary#my idgaf vibes have cumulated so far on the uncles episode#like who tf if this guy heâs barely been in this show why do I care#this show doesnât rly have an emotional core#but also isnât focusing enough on scary horror ghosts either!#feels like it failing at both being a drama and a supernatural horror#and as a romance bc I donât care about these people nor are their romances compelling#.doc#also some of the accents have been plaguing me since episode one theyâre rough#alsoooo I assume itâll come back but the framing device from ep 1 is so inconsistent why bother#I like Owen and ms grose but also I do hope they also get more interesting#Owen truly seems like a completely random guy thatâs just there#I like him but what is he doing there. narratively.
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and this was a prize post for surpassing a following milestone? im not sure but either way thank you for everyone who has helped me gain this much supporters <3
north node is now cheaper when trying to buy asteroids/others through my paid readings :)
i did my research by talking to close friends and researching celebrities! take the degrees with a grain of salt.
â the north node is about your individual path your life takes and inevitably becomes. can mean where you are exposed, what you could fear and even obsess over.
â north node in aries/1h [1°/13°/25°] âś becoming a leader, being the face of something, a company, a show etc. being the first to do something, specifically within your family. anger issues, passion for sports or being a champion. excellent at theatre/acting, people might want to expose your life, your goals so they can steal. if not careful can become filled with rage, could have accidents with the head. could have a fear of being pushed aside, not recognised.
celebrities with this north node placement âś mariah carey, emilia clarke and martin luther king.
â north node in taurus/2h [2°/14°/26°] âś excellent cooks. to become rich, and obsession with feeling beautiful, could be obsessed with money. very possessive over other people or their own possessions. very vocal people. could get sore throats a lot, can have their privacy exposed/boundaries crossed. great singers, distinct voices, a need to be heard. and could have a lot of people wanting to be them, could have a fear of losing their value, or losing their possessions. classis beauty.
celebrities with this north node placement âś lana del rey, sharon tate and bella hadid.
â north node in gemini/3h [3°/15°/27°] âś spokespeople, known to say silly things. like to win arguments, very direct people. other people might ridicule or nitpick everything they say. insecure of not being taken seriously, be careful of car accidents or just bad drivers, being associated with cars. amazing at marketing, people could parade the person a lot.
celebrities with this north node placement âś khloe kardashian, jfk kennedy and billie eilish.
â north node in cancer/4h [4°/16°/28°] âś to make a family, a foundation or a legacy and leaving a will. to have a tribe, obsession with sense of belonging. conflict with family. disconnection with family, can also be a try-hard. can com from a popular family.
celebs with this north node placement âś britney spears, prince harry and michelle obama.
â north node in leo/5h [5°/17°/29°] âś charismatic, can be obsessed with achievements and goals. famous children. are very goal-oriented, can have a fear of failure, which sometimes causes them to be strict. protective over children, having children with popular/wealthy people and they can be easily admired and glorified. succeed in their talents and hobbies.
celebs with this north node placement âś beyoncĂŠ, angelina jolie and kim kardashian.
â north node in virgo/6h [6°/18°] âś could have a problem with health, obsession with being perfecting. servicing others, a worker, deep insecurities. copying others. could have a fear of not being perfect, anxious, can be harsh with your words. very erratic as well.
celebs with this north node placement âś kylie jenner, jennifer lopez and kourtney kardashian.
â north node in libra/7h [7°/19°] âś could be obsessed with getting into relationships. could have a fear of being disliked. beware of too much cosmetic surgery. inevitable marriage, soul-mate finding. marrying someone famous/wealthy. can be very flaky, needs to find balance. sometimes could find themselves with troubling marriages. fear of ending up alone.
celebs with this north node placement âś madonna, michael jackson and ashanti.
â north node in scorpio/8h [8°/20°] âś be careful with cosmetic surgery. obsessive spending, money obsession and sex. fear of losing everything, possessions, money and power along with liberty. destined to be or become rich or leave a legacy. obsessive, easily addicted to drugs and can be vengeful. could be stalkers or are the ones stalked and scrutinised by others.
celebs with this north node placement âś megan thee stallion, paris hilon and jungkook.
â north node in sagittarius/9h [9°/21°] âś teachers, students of life and researches. fear of feeling stupid or stuck in life. not believing yourself. can be very conceited, others might like to steal from others. feeling like a God, superiority complex; obsessed with learning. burn-outs or spoiled. can be too lustful; becoming publishers, directors and screen-writers. even Gurus, people looking up to them. trading illegal stuff, talent with bitcon.
celebs with this north node placement âś ariana grande, cardi b and demi lovato.
â north node in capricorn/10h [10°/22°] âś unbalance with power, authority issues. public clashes, fear of being forgotten or overlooked. seen as attractive, some can be crazy or pushed to be crazy. ambitious, rich and bold. can mean accidents, fear of being watched, fear of failing. obsessive with reputation and legacy, destined to be known for something, becoming a boss, or another high position.
celebs with this north node placement âś adele, selena gomez and gwyneth paltrow.
â north node in aquarius/11h [11°/23°] âś fear of loneliness and losing friends. could be a controlling friend or have friends who are controlling/manipulative. random fame, random wealth. fame from the internet, getting money from the internet. inventing something, creating trends and being a humanitarian. ego-death. accidents. deceptive friends or is the deceptive friends, angry conflicts on the internet, with friends or with people in the same community as them.
celebs with this north node placement âś lady gaga, miranda kerr and the weeknd.
â north node in pisces/12h [12°/24°] âś falling into delusions. obsessive and intrusive thoughts, can become famous, but fame will be very damaging fo the mental health. addictions, specifically with alcohol. nightmares. making sacrifices, people having ill-intent, doing witch-craft on you or you could be someone who practices it. can mean moving far from home place, nasty hidden enemies, having your dreams come true.
celebs with this north node placement âś rihanna, justin bieber and marilyn monroe.
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 2
ENTIRE chart will influence accuracy.
Mars Square Neptune.
- Floating - these people tend to easily disconnect from the real world.
- Needing music to workout. Tend to hate silence. Need background music or noise.
- Will encounter disappointing men. Father may be unreliable. Father may not be the provider and/or protector. Father doesnât fit the traditional father role. For my friend w this aspect, this experience created disgust for âweak menâ.
Accuracy for you heavily depends on house & sign.
Mars Trine Neptune.
- Often have an artistic hobby - drawing, painting, playing an instrument, etc.
- Often end up developing a physical hobby that brings them peace of mind - gym, yoga, meditation, etc.
- Dislike for conflict. Not likely to fight - verbally or physically. Avoidant behaviours.
Accuracy heavily depends on house & sign.
Saturn Aspects Uranus.
- Sudden change in relationship w authority. Ex: Following rules when young but rebelling against parents when older. Rebelling against whatâs expected when older.
- Preferring and/or creating unconventional ways to do things.
- Good teachers. Simplifying complicated things to be easily understood. Creating new effective ways to be productive.
- Conflicted between desire for recognition from authority and desire for freedom.
Accuracy heavily depends on house & sign.
Mars Aspects MC.
- You or others are competitive in the workplace. You can desire leadership positions. You want to be recognized as the best. Or you simply dislike working with others. Prefer independent work.
- May become known for your body (in a good or bad way). People can assume you are physically active. You likely become physically fit. If you are a woman, you can have a reputation for being a âbitchâ. You could be assertive and itâs seen as aggressive. You could prioritize your goals, youâre seen as selfish.
- Often I see these people irl have a bad reputation. IRL EX: People see them as assholes. People discuss their sex lives. People label them as sluts. People assume they have eating disorders. Itâs just so weird how every single person ik with this aspect has random & untrue rumours spread about them.
- Entrepreneur indicator. However, not a strong one. Would need to check entire chart.
- Career may involve physical activity. Ex: Walking around a lot, physiotherapy, gym teacher, cleaning, etc.
- Conflict between authority figures like parents. A Parent encourages you to be ambitious. A parent pushes you toward choosing a career or finding a job early on.
- Parents who are forced to prioritize work over children due to financial struggle of the family.
- One strong parent. A single parent or one parent takes on most of the burden.
Accuracy heavily depends on house & sign.
Mercury Aspects Ascendant.
- Good texters. Funny and can keep a conversation going.
- Observant. This can make them anxious and/or very talkative.
- Enjoy nicknames, clever slogans and phrases. The kind of person to say things like âwhatever floats your boatâ âbreak a legâ âtime to hit the sackâ
- Fast talkers. Probably been told they talk too much. Using hand gestures to talk. Moving the body a lot when talking. Fast thinking.
- Difficult to relax. Unintentionally blurting things out. Feeling like you misrepresent yourself.
- Indicator of a popular person. Well connected. Could be a good salesman. Funny people.
Accuracy heavily depends on houses and signs.
Neptune Aspects Ascendant.
- People believe they can read you like an open book.
- Wandering vibe. You look lost. You feel lost. You could enjoy feeling directionless or you wish someone would show you the way.
- Expecting or wishing something would happen to help you. Wishing or expecting someone to help you. Feeling like youâre waiting for your dreams to come true.
- Escapism. Fantasy world in your mind. Wishing to live in a different reality.
- Longing and yearning for people, places and things. Feeling like youâre missing something.
- Prone to giving up. Prefer to give up and go with the flow. Dislike for standing up for yourself. Being assertive is difficult. Letting your presence be known is difficult.
- Feeling like you donât really belong here.
- Tend to live in their own world. They can be unaware of how things they do or say are perceived. Something they randomly say or do without bad intent can be seen as disrespectful or hateful. They may not even realize it until randomly reflecting on it years later. People can have one sided feuds with them for YEARS. itâs almost funny.
Accuracy heavily depends on houses and signs.
Venus Aspect Uranus
- Relationships begin and end suddenly. ghosting and getting ghosted at some point is extremely likely. Experiencing sudden attraction. Getting close very quickly in relationships (romantic, platonic & business)
- Can experience distance in relationships. Could literally be a long distance relationship or emotional distance.
- Possible problem you could encounter: Partners or you can be awkward when expressing love. Lack of physical affection, lack of sincerity, not very romantic. Mostly jokes to avoid serious conversations.
- On the bright side you will have strong initial attraction. Get close fast. Partners can feel like best friends. Likely to be funny and openminded. Partners have unique viewpoints.
- More comfortable expressing oneself over text than in person. All my friends w this have tried dating apps.
- Later in life they develop unique perspectives on love. This is because they end up having non traditional relationships. Ex: poly, long distance relationship, blended families, interracial couples, couple from diff religions or countries, etc.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
MC Aspect Sun
- Desire recognition and praise. May secretly or openly want to make a parent proud. May secretly want to prove themselves to people through career success.
- Desire leadership positions. Secretly can desire fame. They want to be respected and known in their field.
- If negatively placed, it can manifest as being a sore loser. Being envious when others are praised or succeed.
- In squares and oppositions, people can be willing to bend their morals for fame/recognition and success.
- Career can become a big part of your identity. Entrepreneurship indicator.
- Fear of being gossiped about. Fear of people perceiving you in a negative light. Peopleâs opinions matter deeply.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
MC Aspects Pluto
- Desire positions of authority. Desire power over others.
- Later in life, career transforms. Ex: Changing fields, Going to get a higher education later in life, etc. And this is an entrepreneurship indicator.
- Feeling pressure to be successful. Needing to prove yourself to others. May have parents or family members who didnât support your dreams. Or family with high expectations.
- Hard aspects can end up sacrificing family & relationships for career in some kind of way. Extreme example: Having kids late to advance career. Working long hours or travelling for work. This may not allow you to be with kids or partner that much.
- Be wary these people often end up with a tarnished reputation. They can need to become like a phoenix (rising from the ashes).
- Big indicator of attracting public scrutiny.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and sign.
Saturn Aspect Ascendant
- Reserved presence. Observant. Patient & polite. Old soul indicator. Mature. Good mentors/teacher. Indicator of becoming a person in an authoritative position. You may not realize it but people can grow to respect & admire you. Your words have influence on others.
- Good planners. They create long term plans. Good at manifesting. Good at going after what they want. Tough start in life but always get what they want later in life.
- Have a lot of responsibility. Independent person. Difficult asking for & accepting help. Older sibling vibe. Being the forgotten child. Being the child who compromises for their siblings. Attempting to create less burden for your parents.
- Deeply value the opinion of authority (Parents, teachers, etc).
- Tough on themselves. Feel they need to work harder. Feeling the need to earn things. Feeling you havenât done enough. Feeling you arenât enough.
- Strong boundaries. You may have high standards and strict ârulesâ for people in your life especially romantic partners. Will not just accept anybody.
- And one thing Iâve noticed is whether it be saturn trine asc or saturn square asc, these people end up in positions where their partners have to âearnâ them. Ex: making yourself difficult to schedule dates with. Making their potential partner prove interest and intent in some kind of way. Partners have to chase you to an extent.
- Also, Iâve seen this as dad disapproving of partner. Partner had to gradually work to bond with the dad. Ex: Helping him at the house, Initiating conversation with him every visit, Telling the dad his future plans and how they involve his daughter, etc. Saturn Asc peopleâs partners really WORK to prove themselves.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
Mars Aspect Jupiter
- Strong sense of faith. Strong sense of optimism. Strong sense of doing the right thing. Could manifest as being self righteous.
- Jupiter strengthens mars. This creates a strong drive, need for passion and action.
- Ex: Letâs say mars is in scorpio: You will truly never forget people from the past. Strong memory. Grudge holder for sure.
- If in a fire sign, very quick to anger. On the bright side, very funny. Quick thinking. But similar to Scorpio mars, will not forgive easily. An abundance of anger.
- Independent. Ability to lead. Could be a good leader or mentor.
Accuracy heavily influenced houses and sign.
Mercury Aspects Mars
- Fast thinking. This can make them charming. Or opposite effect: Fast speaking. Blurting things out without thinking. Misunderstood.
- Theyâd make good rappers or a good lawyer. Persuasive. Clever in speech.
- Communication has a strong effect on others. Deeply hurt others.
- Flirty without even trying.
- Might be too clever or too quick for most. Leaving people speechless.
- Fights with siblings. Issues with siblings. May grow to feel bad about how you treated them back in the day. May forever have a rivalry.
- Men may feel competitive with other men. Need to one up others. Competitive person.
- Honest and straightforward. However, if they want to lie, theyâre VERY good at it.
- May have scars. Important to check the house you have gemini in. For ex: Lets say you have gemini 2nd house & mercury conjunct mars, you could have scars on the face. Prone to acne.
- Ex.2: Ik a gemini rising with mercury conjunct mars who had plastic surgery done. Mercury rules their body. Mars is âcuttingâ.
Accuracy heavily influenced by houses and signs.
Sun Aspects Neptune.
- Mysterious. People canât figure you out 100%. You donât fit into one specific label or box. Private person especially if you have scorpio placements.
- You donât try to be a mystery. You are naturally withdrawn. Quiet but not shy person.
- Difficulty expressing oneself. Looking for escape to cope. Driving around aimlessly. Focusing on education and career over personal matters. Or depending on entire chart, substance abuse issues.
- A father who canât stand up for himself. A father who is taken advantage of by other families members. A father who looks for escape.
Accuracy influenced by house and sign.
Sun Aspects Jupiter.
- Confident person. Many creative outlets. Optimistic outlook.
- Expressive person. Ex: Laughs loud, hand gestures, facial expression, lots of body movement, physically tall or large.
- Father could fit the above description. Father could lecture a lot. Father may be a generally happy person. Father could be a gambler. Father has the tendency to overdo things. Father could either be selfish or very generous.
- Good humour. Usually a kind and easygoing person. Adventurous spirit.
- Can get preachy about their beliefs. Stubborn on their beliefs. Conversations can become one sided - one person talking too much without realizing the others havenât gotten a chance to speak.
- They want to share knowledge. Help others - humans and animals.
Accuracy influenced by house and signs.
Moon Aspects Venus.
- Feminine & seemingly flirtatious habits. (Twirling/playing with your hair, swaying body movements, etc). It is all naturally not intentionally done. Others, may perceive it as trying to be flirty though.
- Cooperate person. Moms can be very peace loving. Mom who sacrifices in attempt to keep the peace.
- In men, this can result in seeing women through the Madonna whore complex. Men can idealize women - lack of understanding & experience with real women.
- Taking pleasure in nurturing people. Potential to be a good baker & cook.
- Artistic eye. Home design and clothing. However, depending on signs, may prefer comfort over fashion.
- Expensive taste. Potential to overspend and be indulgent. Be cautious of ending up in debt. Sweet tooth.
- You or the mother may have a baby face. Soft and often clear skin. Especially you if your rising is in connection to moon or venus. If in connection to mars, acne & scars likely. But either way, youthful appearance.
- Happier in relationships. Feeling the need to always be in a relationship. However, depending on the signs, can be moody. Inconsistent in what you desire. Inconsistent in likes and dislikes.
Accuracy influenced by entire natal chart.
Sun Aspects Saturn.
- Restricted in self expression. May fear otherâs opinions. May fear criticism. Dislike of teasing/roasting. Dislike of comedy in general.
- Being hard on yourself for mistakes. Being fussy about how you look and behave. Self conscious.
- Late bloomers. Become authority figures later in life. Desire respect over all else. Grandparent energy.
- Patient. Good planners. Hardworking.
Accuracy influenced by houses and signs.
#astrology observations#astrology#mercury opposite ascendant#mercury square ascendant#mercury trine ascendant#meecury sextile ascendant#neptune square ascendant#neptune opposite neptune#mars square mc#mars trine mc#mars opposite mc#mars sextile mc#mars in 10th house#mars conjunct mc#neptune conjunct mc#mars square neptune#mars sextile neptune#mars trine neptune#mars conjunct neptune#saturn trine uranus#saturn sextile uranus#saturn square uranus#neptune aquarius#mars scorpio#scorpio ascendant#mercury sextile mars#mercury conjunct mars#sagittarius mars#venus opposite uranus#saturn square ascendant
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"Colin had no trauma related to love and self worth like Anthony. Anthony watched his father die, watched his mum turn into a ghost of a person, and didn't want that for his wife"
Bestie. . .they have. . .the same dad???? They have the same mum???? Literally all of the Bridgerton children except Hyacinth watched Edmund die? They all experienced Violet's immense sorrow? He and Violet obviously have a very close connection and so of course he saw her wilting (plant pun, if you were wondering) or at least knew about it and has responded with being particularly gentle with her?
Trauma shaped all the Bridgertons. Colin was a young boy when his dad passed and everyone in the family experienced an immense grief and, unlike his brothers, Colin was twelve, he wasn't the heir, he wasn't the spare, and had no responsibility but to go to school (sent off elsewhere after his dad passed away, thus disconnected from his circle of support and family) and figure out how to be a man from strangers and rakes. Literally no one had space for his grief and sensitivity? He even cries alone in his bedroom in Season 1 and stops talking about his travels after he gets made fun of in Season 2 and claims that hardly anyone replied to his letters in Season 3 like what do you mean he has no trauma related to love?
Colin was right there on the steps watching his father cradled in his mother's arms as she wept over his sudden passing. Of course he has trauma related to love? Colin's entire arc was about how he only felt he could be cared about if he was pleasing the people around him or being useful in some way and putting on a mask and a persona so he wouldn't be hurt by how much no one else wanted the real, messy, authentic him around? His mum and dad lived a love story and Colin watched it fall to pieces just as all the Bridgertons did, he just internalized it differently. His entire family was grieving so he decided to be useful by offering levity where he could, especially as the brother raised predominately with his sisters, Eloise and Daphne.
And yet despite the fact that this was such a huge tragedy of his childhood, Colin still is incredibly emotionally available and as soon as he realized what he felt for Penelope was romantic, he takes initiative and he cuts into her dance with Debling and he chases after her carriage so he can confess that he can't stop thinking about her and he's not at all angry at her, she doesn't vex him, it isn't frustration at her- it's torture because he is so damn besotted with her that he dreams of her and the kiss they shared haunts him but it's torture he embraces because he's a romantic soul who is incredibly emotionally brave and he cares about Penelope more than he cares about his ego or image or past hurts.
Give my man his flowers.
#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#bridgerton#polin#i stan 1 (one) man#sorry i saw this and. . .y'all bonkers#out here acting like they're literally not the same family? like what????.
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astro observations #4
- The idea that your north node = fate and destined path doesnât feel accurate. After all, north node aka rahu is literally illusion and material obsessions and is also considered a malefic in multiple astrological circles. I find it to be more of an indicator of what our fantasies and guilty pleasures may be.
- People with prominent Leo/Aquarius axis tend to focus their astrological study on their personal placements from what I noticed. As they get deeper however, they start to venture into what other placements might be like. But for most part, the focus tends to be on their placements first.
- 7th/8th house placements tend to be the opposite, being very curious to know why people around them, their role models, and others in general act the way they do and therefore using astrology to understand that
- 9th house placements are the ones who study every placement just for the sake of it or out of curiosity, some 3h placements might also
- Taurus + Leo = curly hair
- Taurus placements, especially if aspecting Lilith or mars or coupled with mars ruled placements, tend to be into vampires bc throat (Taurus) and blood and injury (Mars) as well as the seductive/taboo nature of vampires (Lilith)
- 3h Saturn/ 3h in Capricorn might take quite a while to get their drivers license
- What others tend to say about u : 3h from 7h : aka the 9h.
e.g. 9h in Aquarius : people talk about how youâre unique, popular or friends with a lot of people, humanitarian. They might also discuss how youâre eccentric, disconnected or apathetic.
- Whatever houses are ruled by Venus in your chart can give you an idea of how your relationships impact you as well as how you behave when in a relationship.
e.g. Libra risings have Venus ruling their first and eighth house, they tend to have very transformative relationships that end up changing them completely. They might also benefit from personal glow-ups during certain relationships thanks to their partnerâs resources. Opposite can be true with weak Venus or malefic influence on the houses of Venus.
- 8h is underrated as an intelligence indicator. Thatâs the house of research, uncovering mysteries, and finding out the hidden. If one of the most common intelligent tropes -detectives and mad scientists- work within 8h themes, that is for a reason
- 6th house Lilith could indicate suffering from eating disorders.
- I noticed that even people who donât know anything about astrology (sometimes especially them lol) tend to have markers of their signs all over their online presence. my ardra stellium friend has pearl as his username (ardra is symbolized by the diamonds and jewelry), a lot of shatabisha (especially the men) like wearing bracelets and rings (reminiscent of the empty circle that symbolizes shatabisha) etc.
- 10th house could signify what traits do you have that are different or stand out from ur family. For example, Jupiter in the tenth house could mean different beliefs, maybe a taller build compared to your parents, I also see it as which members of your family do you resemble the most. 10th house Jupiter might look like their grandparents while 10th house sun their dad, and moon their mom etc.
- Saturnian tend to be gatekeepers because Saturn = scarcity and limitations.
- 4h mars/sun could indicate having more close male friends n vice versa for 4h Venus/moon.
- Sun nakshatras and ashwinis look really good when the sun is shining on them. They might be particularly fond of golden hour selfies.
- 11h synastry can indicate starting a business together, whether itâs benefics or malefics will indicate if the business will succeed or not.
- Lacking aspects to the luminaries can mean feeling disconnected from your parents, as if thereâs a certain distance between you and them that canât be bridged. An empty 3h + unaspected 3h lord can also indicate feeling that way towards your siblings.
- A strong Mars + Venus = good dancer. Also prominent dhanista and snake yoni Nakshatras (Rohini, mrigashira).
- Anna Popplewell and Nancy ajram look similar and I found they have quite the similar placements besides both having nodal (Ardra/Mula) and Saturnian (Uttara Bhadra/Anuradha) influence.
Nancy Ajram (Top) : Jupiter in Anuradha, Sun DK in the first Degree, Sun and Mars in Krittika, Ketu in Mula.
Anna Popplewell (Bottom): Venus in Anuradha, Sun DK in the first degree, Jupiter in Krittika, Sun, Mercury, and Saturn in Mula.
this is it for today <3 please donât hesitate to share if any of this resonates!
#astro observations#astro notes#astro placements#astrology notes#astrology observations#vedic astro notes#vedic astrology#ardra#ashwini#shatabhisha#mula#7th house#8th house#aquarius#leo#9th house#taurus#10th house#10h jupiter#11h synastry#saturn nakshatras#sun nakshatras#3h saturn#6h Lilith#4th house#aries#Libra risings
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Hi, I've read the Residuum comic, and I think the characterization of the boys is really good. I was wondering if you have any tips on how to write them? Especially Mikey, please.
I'd actually recommend re-watching the show with one character in mind. All my notes on the turtles come from doing separate re-watches for each of them. The key is to ONLY watch the character you are focusing on.
In the end, you'll probably be happier with your own personal interpretation. As we are with ours lol
TL;DR
Massive post under the cut
To preface: we'll be contrasting (this Mikey) against the fandoms version of Mikey, as our interpretation is very different. Don't worry if you prefer the fandom version, there's nothing⌠wrong per se with writing him this way. We just find him flat and uninteresting. (Main author: not me, I just hate him, lol).
Every reader or fan comes into a story with their own biases and experiences. A ton of our view of Mikey is based on how our siblings acted. We see Mikey as the young sibling that got preferential treatment from the whole family, simply due to being the youngest, but is now aging out of the privilege. Which all youngest siblings do at some point or another.
The fandoms version of Mikey is empathetic, naive, vulnerable, co-dependent and quite often a door mat who cries at the drop of a hat. And as much as the fandom like to say that people love him⌠when this particular character archetype is in other media, they seem to attract the most criticism. Mable pines, Bolin from Korra, people rag on Aang all the fucking time, and Steven Universe is a whole other bag. These characters don't deserve it, and yet it happens anyway.
To flatten Mikey to simply 'the baby' is a disservice. We don't see or write Mikey as the fandom âbabyâ version (cinnamon roll uwu). Part of this comes from having multiple siblings, so we interpret the times when Mikey does the puppy dog eyes as typical younger sibling bullshit, mostly by the way that the other turtles rarely react to it, if at all.
The other turtles traits can also get projected onto Mikey. Mikey being the fandom therapist is in the same category as this. He isn't a therapist, he's a psychology nerd who likes to psychoanalyze people and meddle in their relationships. (Donnie and Shelldons relationship, Splinter and Draxums...) he's not trying to resolve your emotional issues. Of the turtles, the character that cares the most about people's feelings is Raph. And Leo is more of a consoler than Mikey ever is. It flattens all the turtle's characterizations when you start doing this because you are ripping out parts that are integral to another characters' complexity.
Co-author has told me that they've seen people become confused when going into the show after only reading fan fiction or coming from the movie. They see his characterization as inconsistent and become upset when their view of him is contradicted. This also happens when a fandomized version of him becomes the primary characterization that they use. Sometimes when this disconnect happens (or if they just don't like the character), Mikey characterization is swung in the complete opposite direction.
They make him manipulative and abusive, or someone who is hyper violent and avoids being held accountable for anything. This is an uncharitable interpretation of him and can come off as pretty racist depending on the circumstances. (like if someone considers the turtles black or not)
Every version of Mikey is a shithead (affectionate), even this one. Especially this one, really. When Mikey not doing the "baby schtick" hes mean. If you pay attention to what he's saying, and just not his tone of voice, he's consistently saying pretty mean or condescending stuff. (You could take this as simply naĂŻvetĂŠ, but he still says mean shit pretty often regardless)
The times he does say genuinely nice stuff the turtles don't exactly expect it from him, at least, in the early season. And while he is mean, and seems to find saying mean things to be funny, Mikey isn't cruel. Nor will he ever be.
This shit-headery behavior is found in both 2003 and 18 Mikey. They have a degree of social intelligence that lets them use it to annoy people into doing what they want. 18 just has the advantage of being baby faced and having better tonal control. He's good at using people's perception of him to get what he wants.
Let Mikey have his problematic traits, but don't overexaggerate them. He doesn't revel in fooling people. He loves doing character bits, and the baby faced one just happens to be one of them. However, to infantilize or to deem him incompetent is to piss him off, he wants to be viewed as a competent part of the team and competent as an individual. He's not insecure about being young, he just doesn't want to be treated like he can't do anything.
Mikey above all is an optimistic character, he sees the brighter side quite often and is conscious of the harm his actions have on people. Mostly after the fact, but he consistently attempts to rectify the harm he has personally done to peoples lives. (Todd, Bullhop, Draxum). Food and shelter seems to be a thing that he considers to be a right. He doesn't cross a boundary twice once he learns of it, and he never pushes people too far (if he likes you, that is. if he doesn't know you or doesn't like you, he doesn't give a singular shit. But that is standard to most people.). He doesn't care about people's stuff, though. He breaks things all the time.
Mikey understands boundaries, but he doesn't automatically recognize them. He needs them to verbalized or for there to be a very obvious reaction to the boundary being crossed (unfortunately, for Todd and Donnie). Sometimes people mess up (esp. younger people), and it can take a while for teens to learn where boundary is, but he fully respects the boundaries he does know about. He doesn't act petulant when he's told about boundary, he apologizes, accepts it, and moves on. He doesn't dwell.
Mikey doesn't hold on to distressing emotions. He bounces between emotions quickly, but isn't effected in the long run. One thing Iv'e seen people often conflate is the difference between sensitive and vulnerable. Mikey is sensitive, but I have never seen him vulnerable to others. To be sensitive is to be easily influenced by the current situation. To be vulnerable is to hold that influence for a long time. Characters can have one, both, or neither of these traits. But Mikey is not vulnerable. It is the difference between compressing memory foam and a piece of metal until they deform. One will pop back, the other does not.
Those who are vulnerable but not sensitive will take longer to effect, but once you do, they will hold on to that emotion for a very long time. The vulnerable, are grudge holders. (leo). But like I've said, Mikey bounces back. What a character does has an effect on his emotions, but it doesn't make a lasting impression.
Forgiveness is another thing people like to push on him. It is not that Mikey forgives people easily, it's just that he doesn't hold grudges. He neither forgives nor forgets, but he does not ruminate. He's generally affable, first impressions seem to be a big part of how he views people. He is idealistic, and doesn't assume people are unchanging and/or evil, but he's not a mark.
Mikey isn't so much as naive or overly trusting⌠it's just that he's inexperienced. He doesn't get fooled by anyone in the series except meat sweats, and that's because Meatsweats is on Todd drugs. Mikey just didn't notice when he started faking. He's not⌠actually all that aware of people's emotional states, passively. He has to tune in to notice things like that.
Mikey isn't someone who really tries to regulate others emotions, either. The fandom like to make Mikey afraid of his brothers fighting and others being upset, but Mikey doesn't actually care. The most distressed we ever see him in a fight is in the movie, and he's not SCARED, he's just concerned (and then alarmed once it turned physical). If anything, outside extenuating circumstances (like the movie), Mikey actually seems to find their fights annoying.
(Mikey actually seems to have a pretty short fuse, but his bounciness doesn't really let it linger very long, lmao)
(One pet peeve of fandom Mikey is the constant crying, crying at fights, crying at insults, crying for no reason all the time. Sure, he tears up when he gets emotional, but when Mikey is genuinely crying It's when he's desperate, like when he's hungry, or when he's trying to save Leo from certain doom. Same thing, really.)
Mikey respects no one (we love him for this). He admires people, he admires his family: April, the turtles, his dad, Lou Jitsu. He admires Rupert Swaggert, but he respects none of them. No one is sacrosanct to the Mikey.
Above all, the way we write characters is to give them a past that informs how they act now. We view Mikey and the other turtles as teenagers that were kids, and that will be adults. Yes they all have âproblematicâ traits, but 1) good characters need flaws, and controversial traits are one of the best to use, and 2) they're teenagers, don't expect adult behaviors from them, also don't expect them to be kids. They're minors, not toddlers.
This is getting as long enough as it is, so we'll stop here, but this is a very broad overview of how we characterize him. There's a lot we didn't cover here, but if we even started on hobbies, or the real minutia of his quirks and ticks, or even how he feels about other specific characters... we'd be here all day. So I hope this is good enough lol
If there was something you wanted to know in particular, you'll need to get specific. Feel free to ask again ahahh
#residual asks#rottmnt#rottmnt michelangelo#rise mikey#side note:#do not write the characters based on archetypes ah la heroes journey/hero with a thousand faces#(john campbell is a racist sexist pos)#hollywood was ruined by the attempts to copy Star Wars ad infintium#everyone thank co-author for deleting all my vitriol#i am full of rage and too many opinions on the show and how people handle the characters#but co-author is a patient soul who has removed all my dumbassery and wrote half of this#thank you co-author we love you#honestly there is so much i want to include here but i didn't want to make you wait longer than this ahahahah#if any of you want our stuff on the other characters you'll have to ask for them separately#and then wait a week or two lmao#also we have a list of mikeys verbal ticks if you want#ough.. writing words give me tummy ache
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Post Gotham war Jason and post GIW Danny scrap
Jason is laying on the ground. He can hear water running to his right and can see his parachute tangled in trees overhead.Â
The explosion must have sent him farther away than he hoped. His back hurts from the landing after he disconnected from the parachute. His hands are still shaking from residual adrenaline that in turn makes his throat constrict in fear.Â
Fucking Bruce. Of all the things he couldâve done to break their cycle.Â
Because thatâs what it was, wasnât it? A never ending cycle of them fighting over morality, making up, then fighting again without any real progress being made. The Jokerâs still kicking in one way or another, and Jason still doesnât talk with his family much outside of vigilante activities.Â
And now he wonât even be able to go out as Red Hood, because his own fucking adrenaline will immobilise him with fear.Â
Jason never should have tried to work with Selina. Heâs self-aware enough to admit that. It was stupid, trying to mess up her operation from the inside after realizing just what she was setting up the goon workforce for, even if it wasnât her intention. She was only letting him work with her to shove it into Bruceâs face, anyway.Â
Because thatâs all Jason will ever be to them. Batmanâs biggest mistake. A Robin turned corpse turned mass murderer. Like he hasnât been actively not killing people for at least a year now. Hasnât shot a gun in months.Â
And yet here Jason is, trying to tell if his ribs are broken without moving. His ears are ringing faintly from the collision with the meteor and then the explosion at the observatory.Â
He ditched his comm to Oracle and the rest of the bats earlier, and the batwing is one with the wreckage now. But there are cameras everywhere in Gotham. They would see he got out, and probably send someone to pick him up. Maybe.Â
Jason doesnât know if he can stomach looking at his family right now. Not when he can still feel the effects of whatever Bruce stuck in him in the back of his throat, in the back of his mind. Itâs like heâs been flayed out, all his scars and weaknesses on display.Â
âHey man, you okay?â A man steps into Jasonâs vision. Around his age, if not younger. His eyes that verge on the edge of uncannily blue have deep eye bags, like he hasnât slept in weeks. He looks at Jason like one would a particularly uninteresting bug. Jason shivers.
It takes a few tries for Jason not to swallow his words. As it is, he still slurs on the swear. âJust fucking peachy.âÂ
The guy raises an eyebrow, looking very doubtful. He looks Jason up and down, then sighs. He rights himself from leaning over and runs a hand through his long black hair with white streaks in it. Itâs choppily cut, and not in a tasteful way. Itâs like a five year old found scissors for the first time. Itâs annoying how it actually works for the guy.Â
âI have a first aid kit in my truck, wait here,â He orders, then walks off to the left. Jason turns his head to watch him. There is a small white truck parked to the side of a road that no cars are passing through. The guy opens the back door and digs around, then emerges with a white box.Â
He kneels on the grass next to Jason and slowly reaches out to help him sit up, narrating as he does. âIâm gonna lean you against the tree so that I can get a better angle for your forehead.â He does that, and Jason realizes that yeah, his forehead is bleeding. Maybe he snagged it on a branch on the way down, or maybe it was debris. âIâm going to disinfect it, brace for the sting, I guess.âÂ
It does sting, but Jason doesnât flinch away. Itâs not the exhaustion from the back to back panic attacks thatâs calming him. He knows what that exhaustion should feel like, this is not it. As the guy gently washes off the blood from Jasonâs forehead with wipes and presses bandaids onto it, he feels like heâs being enveloped in a warm hug.Â
âWhy do I feel safe with you?â It stumbles out before he can stop it. The guy doesnât stop inspecting Jasonâs arms for cuts to answer. Only when he finds traces of burns to wrap against infection does he say anything. Jasonâs too warm for a November night.Â
âWell. There are two options. Either youâre concussed, or youâve died before.â Jason takes in a sharp breath, but the guy doesnât seem to notice. âOh, three, I guess. Since it could be both.â
âI donât feel concussed," Jason says. And he doesnât. Maybe slightly dehydrated, but his head doesnât hurt and heâs not nauseous at all. The slight slurring is just because heâs tired, probably.Â
The guy hums, leaning back to check his handiwork. Thereâs bandaids on Jasonâs forehead and bandages along his arms. He closes the first-aid kit with a snap and stands to his full height. His face is haloed by the full moon behind him. His eyes reflect in the light. âGuess itâs option two, then. I was leaning towards that, anyway. Once Deads tend to have that effect on me, and you do give off Realms Touched vibes.â
The guy offers a hand, and Jason stares at it for a moment before taking it. Itâs like touching an ice cube. âI donât know what that means.â
The guy pulls him up easily, despite being built like a broad-shouldered twig and at least five inches shorter than Jason. Probably a meta, then. Or maybe magic. The guy lets go of Jasonâs hand to run a hand through his hair again. The motion brings attention to the layer of scar tissue around his left eye. Likely scarred over in the past month or so.Â
âYeah, my bad. Shouldâve assumed. Um, short version: I have what amounts to a biological need to help peop-â He stops, purses his lips, then starts again. âTo help the undead. And that stretches over to you, I guess.â
âAnd the Realms Touched thing?â
He shrugs, not looking at Jasonâs eyes, but up at his hair. At the white streak sticking out against the black. âLet me guess, you had an encounter with some green not-quite-liquid stuff sometime after you died?â Jason nods once, slowly. âYeah, thatâd do it. The green stuffâs from the Infinite Realms, and doing stuff with it kinda marks you for people with an eye for it.â
âPeople like you?â Jason narrows his eyes, but it really does seem like this guy is telling the truth. That this is just some weird coincidence that the spooky guy (who cannot be local. Jason might have ditched the mask, vest, and gloves, but he still has his padded shirt with his symbol on it. No true Gothamite would dare to approach the Red Hood with medical supplies) just happened to stumble upon Jason. The complete blasĂŠ attitude he has toward the pits helps. A League devotee would be more reverent.Â
The guy tilts his head to the side, his face scrunching. âTechnically, yeah. I meant more, like, formal magic users. Iâm⌠different?â
âWhat are you, then?âÂ
âItâs complicated?â As Jasonâs unimpressed look, he tries again. âIâm, Iâm kinda like a protector spirit and a psychopomp rolled into one? But, a psychopomp thatâs not good at their job.â
Jason gets the feeling that thatâs the best explanation heâs going to get out of this guy. Heâs already shifting away, looking past the trees and at whatâs probably Gotham proper.
âSo I have a sense for dead things. âS actually why I ended up coming through here. Something that felt like a meal was coming here, but now itâs faded.â He points past Jason, and he follows his finger, moving to face the green smoke rising from the observatory, glowing in the night sky. âYou know what happened?â
âBig fuckinâ meteor,â Jason mutters. The smoke is dispersing slowly but surely. A news helicopter is already buzzing around the observatory site.Â
âSure, why not?â The guy mutters back. His eyes flick to Jason before jutting a thumb backwards. âWelp, Iâm gonna get back on the road. You need me to call someone for you or something?â
Jason thinks about it. He could call someone to pick him up, or check in with Rose. But. That would mean eventually going back into Gotham. Back into the fire. Back into a city thatâs being overrun with thieves he had helped support. Itâs not shame that stops him, but fear.Â
Fear that if he goes back, it will just start the cycle again. That itâll just take another form, but heâs just going to be stuck fighting. Heâs always fighting, has always been fighting. If he goes back and he starts fighting again, it will never stop. Fear lodges into the back of his throat once again and Jason realizes that he might not be able to fight like that anymore.Â
And standing outside of Gotham, seeing the smoke coming out of it color the same as the Pits that still haunt him, Jason thinks that maybe fear and fighting are all he has left.Â
He wonders what would happen if he let himself lose those, too.Â
âActually, which way are you going?â Jason asks the guy, who squints at him.
âNorth.âÂ
âSounds good.â Jason spins around and walks determinedly towards the guyâs truck. The guy stutters and hurries to catch up to him.
âWait, what? Youâre just gonna⌠come with me? Are you sure youâre not concussed?â He says, but stops at the driverâs side door and just watches as Jason slides into the passenger seat.Â
Jason smiles at him, all teeth. âCome on, Charon. Arenât psychopomps supposed to lead the dead to their next destination?â
The guy just looks at him for a moment, then opens the driverâs side and slides in. He glares at Jason, but it doesnât feel like thereâs any real dissatisfaction behind it. âYouâre not dead now, and I told you Iâm bad at my job.â
Jason shrugs and swings his feet onto the dashboard, ignoring the guyâs disgruntled and insulted look. âThen youâll get some on the job training.â
âIâm on the run from the government. This isnât going to be a fun adventure, dude.âÂ
That does make Jason pause. But he also knows the government. âWhatâd you do?â
He scoffs. âExist. Fuckers think theyâre entitled to my organs. For science, they said.â
A victim, it sounds like. Hell, maybe even a clone. Not likely to be a criminal. Jason shrugs and shimmies more into the seat, making a show of getting more comfortable. The guy frowns, then closes his door.Â
âYou know what? Fine, guess Iâm doing this now. But we gotta set some ground rules for this roadtrip, okay?â He points at Jason with his left hand, leaning over a little in what could have been intimidating if he didnât look dead on his feet. Jason recognised the faint lichtenberg scarring on his finger. Recently electrocuted, and badly. âFirst, get your dirty ass boots off of the dash.â Jason obliges. âThank you. Second, seatbelts stay on. I know how I drive, and it is not good.â
He emphasizes his point by buckling himself in and glaring at Jason until he does the same.Â
âThird, um, I donât have a third one.â He drums his fingers on the steering wheel. âOh, tell me a name I can call you. Yeah, thatâs the third.â
âJason. Whatâs yours?â He should have hesitated. All bat protocol for getting into unmasked situations with a stranger determines giving a fake name, and to not even think about anything close to real. But he doesnât. It doesnât matter. This guy clearly doesnât know who Red Hood is, if he doesnât recognise the symbol, so Jason doubts heâd recognise the first name of Bruce Wayneâs dead son, and then connect the dots.Â
âDanny.â Danny starts the truck and pulls back onto the empty road. It must be two or three in the morning at this point. Maybe later. âHope you have an enhanced ID, âcause weâre going to Canada.â
Jason, in fact, does. Not one that has his name on it, and itâs for New York, but the picture looks similar enough.
~~
So the original idea for this was they head to a cabin aunt alicia has in canada, but I got like 2000 words into this then realized i didn't have the motivation to continue, plus i wasn't confident about the characterization (i'll admit i read the gotham war event in a vacuum) so i just scrapped it. But!! I figure i would post it here in case someone else wants to take the idea and run with it :P
#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dp x dc#dcxdp#dc x dp#not tagging the outer fandoms as to not clutter those tags#also i had to look up what states had enhanced ID for this i legit thought everyone had it#but ig it makes sense that states w/ borders to canada have it and not others#anyway this was mostly the product of me reading gotham war and being like what was that???#i think im still confused tbh
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The invinsible princess | Chapter 1
"Champions of Europe"
Index | Chapter 2
Masterlist
âCâmom, go talk to her. Look at how miserable she looks.â
âWhy don't you go talk to her?â
âBecause she doesn't fancy me, Gaviâ Ferran smirks.
âThat's something the press made out.â
âOr notâ Ferran shrugs.Â
âIf you don't go talk to her, I will.â
âFermĂn, don't you have a girlfriend?â Gavi says.
âYeah. And?â
âYou can't go talk to the princess. That's cheating.â
âIt's just talking, Gavi. Relaxâ he chuckles.
âUnless the press sees you and then boom! FermĂn the Princeâ Ferran laughs.Â
âFermĂn I of Spain. Sounds cool, I like it. What do you think, Pedri? Pedri?â he says, looking around for his teammate.
âWhere is he going?â Ferran asks.
âHeâs⌠Oh my God, he's walking towards the princess!â Gavi gasps.
âThere he goes. Pedro I of Spainâ FermĂn chuckles
âââââââââââââ
âAnd then it all had been a mistake!â
âThat is so funnyâ my dad laughs. âIsn't it, SofĂa?â
âSo funnyâ I say with my best fake smile.Â
Why am I stuck with a bunch of old men? This is a party to celebrate that Spain just won the Euros. I should be out there mingling with the young people, talking with the players and their families, getting to know them all a bit and properly congratulate them. But no. I'm stuck with a man telling us about his latest golfing trip to Scotland.Â
âSomething similar happened to me last time we went to Mallorcaâ my dad says, making me already disconnect from the conversation. I know which anecdote he is about to share. I probably already know it by heart just from hearing him telling about it to everyone he's met lately. So instead of listening to him, I start looking around.
There are some players dancing with their partners, others playing with their kids (which is the cutest thing ever), others are just chilling⌠And then, there is someone wearing red and a medal around his neck walking towards me. Or trying to.Â
âRight, SofĂa?â my dad says again.
âYeah, yeahâ I nod.Â
One of the good things about him having told this anecdote so many times is that, by now, I also know when he asks for my support and how I have to react to it, what I have to say. Which comes very handy when your eyes are stuck on the guy smiling and standing in front of you, and who is currently moving his head to one side to make you follow him somewhere.Â
âDad, do you mind if I go get myself a refill?â I ask him.
âYes, sure. But just beer.â
âJust beer, I promiseâ I smile before finally leaving the group of men and following Pedri.Â
Oh, yes. Because the guy who had been smiling at me and asking me to follow him, was freaking Pedri GonzĂĄlez.Â
âMaâamâ my bodyguard says behind me. âAre you going somewhere?â
Shit. Fuck. I had forgotten about him.
âI'm just going out to get some fresh air. I'm feeling a bit dizzyâ I say with a nervous laugh.
âAlone?â he says, looking at the glass door that leads outside the room, Pedri waiting on the other side.
âI⌠Ummm⌠It'll be just five minutes.â
âMa'amâŚâ
âFive minutes, Carlos. It's not like he can kidnap me or something with his leg like thatâ I chuckle.Â
âHe cannot, no. But what about others? You are Spain's Princess.â
âBut not the heir. No one cares about me.â
âDon't say that, ma'am.â
âIt's the truthâ I shrug. âAnyway, can I go outside for five minutes? Please? He may just want a photo for his mum.â
âOk, fineâ Carlos sighs. âBut don't leave the building.â
âI won't, I promiseâ I smile before basically running towards the door. He may still regret letting me go.
Once outside, it takes me a moment to find Pedri. When I spot him, he is resting against one of the huge windows, checking the brace he has to wear on his knee.Â
âIs it too uncomfortable?â I ask him as I walk towards him.
âUh?â he says, looking up. And maybe, just maybe⌠I gasped when the lights from outside illuminated his face in all the right places.
âThe brace. Is it uncomfortable?â
âA bit, yeahâ he smiles.Â
âI'm sorry about what happened.â
âThank youâ Pedri smiles again. âThough everything worked out in the endâ he says, touching his medal. âDo you want to try it?â
âOh, I, ummmâŚâ
âHereâ he says, taking it off before walking towards me and putting it around my neck, carefully untucking my hair so it doesn't get tangled with the strap. âPerfect. How does it feel?â
âHeavier than I expectedâ I chuckle.
âIt can't be heavier than a crownâ he laughs.
âI don't know. I've never tried on one.â
âWait, really?â
âYeah. It's not like I'm gonna be the one who is gonna have to wear it. That's my sister, the heir.â
âBut you still are a princess, aren't you? Don't all princesses wear crowns?â
âNope. I may get to wear a tiara one day if I'm invited to a big event like a royal wedding or a reception for someone important, but other than thatâŚâ
âI'm sorry.â
âOh, don't be. Sometimes being the second born that everyone forgets about actually comes with its perks. Like being here today, for example.â
âI thought it was because you liked football.â
âThat tooâ I chuckle.
âAnd football players?â Pedri asks me. âDo you also like them?â
âWhat?â
âMy friends were talking about you fancying Gavi.â
âThat's my sister, not me.â
âHa! I knew it! I knew it was her and not you. But they were so convinced they didn't want to listen to me.â
âI'm used to people mixing us, don't worryâ I say while playing with the medal. âAnd I actually am more into dark haired guys than brunettes like him.â
âAre you?â
âYeahâ I shrug, still focused on the medal.Â
âAnything else you like in your men?âÂ
âWhy are you interested?â I ask him, looking up and at his face, a little smirk on his lips.Â
âJust curious about how the future Prince of Spain could look likeâ he shrugs.
âWell⌠I like men with interesting noses.â
âWhat?â he laughs.
âYeah⌠I don't know how to explain it. But if you look at the list of men I'm attracted to, famous or not, they all have that in common. Yours would actually make the cut.â
âMy nose?â he laughs again.
âI⌠It is too weird, isn't it? Urghâ I say, covering my face with my hands. And that, my friends, is how you ruin things with the guy you are trying to flirt with.Â
âNo, no. Not at all. Is just that no one had complimented my nose before. Most girls talk about my lips.â
âYour lips?âÂ
âThey say they were made to kiss and be kissed. What do you think?â
âWhat?â I say, still covering my face.
âAre my lips kissable or not, your royal highness?â Pedri says, his hands suddenly on mine, moving them away to rest at my sides. But he doesn't let go once they get there. He keeps holding them, his fingers playing with mine, his thumbs sometimes caressing my knuckles or the inside of my wrist and sending waves of heat all the way up my arms.Â
âThey are okâ I manage to say.
âJust ok? I think I'm gonna have to move closer so you can see them betterâ he says, closing the space between us a bit more.Â
âThey just look like lipsâ I shrug. But that's a lie. Because his lips do look made to kiss and be kissed.
âMaybe if we moved towards the lightâŚâ he says, his hands suddenly on my waist, moving me until my back is against the big window, the light once again hitting his face in all the right places.Â
I knew Pedri was handsome, but this handsome? Wow.
âBetter now?â
âLet me seeâŚâ I say as I move forward a little bit, the medal doing it with me and hitting his chest. We are so close right now⌠âNothing. Just lips.â
âWell, if you can't see anything, I'll guess we'll have to try with a different sense. Like touch, for example.â
âWhat?â
âHow does this feel, your royal highness?â he says, gently taking one of my hands and kissing it, the other still resting on my waist.
âYou can start calling me ma'am now. Royal highness is just for the first time you address me.â And how I've managed to give him a protocol lesson while feeling my skin burn on the spot where his lips have been, will forever be a mystery.
âMa'am sounds like something for someone old. What about my lady?â
âYou could also call me by my nameâ I shrug.Â
âWe just met, my lady. Aren't you going too fast?â Pedri smirks.
âMe? Who is the one looking for a way to kiss me?â I smirk back.
âBustedâ he laughs.Â
âThough if you want to kiss me, you just have to ask.â
âOk, then. May I kiss you⌠my lady?â
âYou mayâ I whisper.Â
âThank youâ he smiles. âButâŚâ he says, stopping just as his lips brush against mine. âAfter I've done it, will you tell if my lips are made to kiss and be kissed?âÂ
âI will.â
âA princess must keep her promises.â
âI will, I promise. Now are you going to kiss me or not?â
âAs my lady commandsâ he smirks before finally doing it and kissing me. Pedri⌠the Pedri⌠is kissing me. And it is⌠wow. Just wow. âAnd?â he whispers against my lips.
âI haven't told you to stop.â
âSo bossyâ he chuckes.
âWell, I am your princess, am I not?â
âYou are, yes.â
âThen as your princess, I'm telling you, Pedri GonzĂĄlez, to keep kissing me.â
âWith my lips made to kiss and be kissed?âÂ
âWith your lips made to kiss and be kissed, yesâ I say, making him smile before kissing me again and⌠Oh, my God.
I thought winning the Euros earlier had felt amazing, but I was wrong. Being kissed by him, and in the way he is right now, is what truly feels amazing.Â
âââââââââââââ
âI think this is yoursâ I say, giving Pedri his medal back.
âIt looks better on you, tho.â
âOh, stop itâ I laugh, putting it around his neck, the place where my hands were resting not that long ago.
âIt's the truthâ he shrugs. âAnd do we seriously have to go back in there?â he says, nodding towards the party.
âWe do, yesâ I sigh. âBut, we are meeting again tomorrow.â
âWe are, yes. And you've promised me a tour of the palace. And a princessâŚâ
âKeeps her promisesâ I smile.
âExactlyâ Pedri smiles back. And we stay like that, just smiling like two idiots, until someone clears his throat behind us. Carlos, my bodyguard. âI think that's our cue to go inside.â
âI think it is, yes.â
âDo you think he will send the secret service after me if I kiss you one last time?â he whispers.
âThere is nothing like tryingâ I shrug.
âOk, then. Bro, look the other way!â he says to Carlos while I just laugh, his hands suddenly cupping my face before kissing me one last time. âNo secret service?â he whispers, opening one eye.Â
âNo secret service.â
âThank Godâ he sighs, making me laugh again. âAnyway⌠I should probably go in first, shouldn't I? Distract everyone with my limping so they won't look at you.â
âOh, don't worry. No one looks at me, I'm the invisible princess.â
âOnly someone blind would not look at you, my lady.â
âThank youâ I say, feeling my cheeks getting warm. We've been kissing and flirting, and him saying that is what finally makes me go shy. âBut like I told you, I don't mind being invisible sometimes. Thisâ I say, playing with the strap of his medal. âWould have not been possible if I was the heir. And the secret service would have definitely jumped at you the moment you got too close.â
âLucky me, thenâ Pedri smiles.
âLucky usâ I smile back. âNow go. I can see Carlos getting impatient.â
âUrgh, fine⌠See you tomorrow?â
âSee you tomorrow.â
âOk. Good night, my ladyâ he says, kissing my cheek.
âGood night, sirâ I giggle as I watch him walk back into the party, laughing one more time when he turns around to look at me and blows me a kiss.
âFeeling better, ma'am?â Carlos says behind me.
âMuch betterâ I smile.Â
âThen I'm sorry about what I'm about to tell you, ma'am.â
âWhat?â I say, turning around to look at him.
âIt's about him, about Pedri. Something I heard his friends talking about when I went back inside to give you some⌠privacy.â
âCarlos, you are starting to worry me.â
âI⌠I'm sorry, ma'am.â
âââââââââââââ
The next dayâŚ
âMy lady.â
âPedri.â
âI wasn't expecting to be offered croquetas at the royal palaceâ he chuckles, nodding at the table in front of us.
âYeah, well.â
âWhen we met earlier it was kind of awkward, wasn't it? Shaking hands with your parents and your sister, acting as if we didn't know each other and nothing had happened last nightâŚâ
âDid something happen last night?â I ask, eating an olive and finally looking at him. âBesides you winning the Euros, I mean.â
âWe⌠you⌠what?â he says with a confused look.
âI don't remember anything important happeningâ I shrug.
âYou don't⌠Oh. Oh, I get it. You are teasing me because out here someone could hear usâ Pedri says, looking around at his teammates. After meeting the whole team inside the palace, we are now in the gardens, everyone chatting, having a drink and relaxing before they have to go to Cibeles to celebrate.
âI'm not teasing you, Pedri. I don't remember anythingâ I shrug again. âWait, no. I do remember one thingâ I say, moving forward. âThat you are a dickâ I whisper in his ear before walking away.
âThat I'm what? What are you talking about?â he says before following me.Â
âIs your hearing also injured?â
âMy hearing is perfect, my ladyâ he says, struggling to keep up with me. âWhat I don't understand is why.â
âWhy what?â I say, suddenly stopping. We've walked away from where everyone else is, kind of hidden behind some bushes.
âWhy are you calling me a dick? What did I do?â
âDo you seriously have to ask?â I laugh.
âYeah.â
âI can't believe itâ I laugh again. âYou fucking used me, Pedri!â
âWhat?â
âYou used me to have a laugh with your friends! You made a bet with them to see who could get a kiss from me first!â
âWhat?â he says again, looking more and more confused by the second.
âCarlos heard them talking about it, so don't you dare try to deny it. I'm sure you all had a laugh this morning when you told them everything that happened between us.â
âWe don't⌠IâŚâ
âI was an easy target, wasn't I? The poor princess that no one looks at, the one who always is in the shadow of her sister, who always is the second option. I'm sure you felt so proud when you told them how easily I fell for your charms, how stupid I was. But not anymore, you hear me. Not anymore.â
âThat's not what happenedâ Pedri says, grabbing me by the arm when I try to walk away, earning himself a even more deadly look than the ones I was already giving him. âSorry. I'm sorryâ he says, letting go. âBut please let me explain myself.â
âWhy? Why would I do that? You manipulated me once, you could do it again. I am that stupid.â
âYou aren't stupid, and I didn't manipulate you. IâŚâ he says, running a hand through his hair. âThe boys were talking about who could get you out of your misery, that's true. We were watching you talking with your dad and those men, and you looked so⌠Bored. Like you wished to be anywhere but there. But I wasn't part of it, I swear. I actually was getting mad while listening to them and the way they were talking about you. So before any of them found the guts to go talk to you just for fun, I did it myself. Not the go talking with you for fun part. The one about finding the guts to go talk to you. Because I⌠I have a bit of a crush on you.â
âWhat?â I laugh.
âYeahâ he says, nervously touching his cheek. A cheek that had turned almost as red as his Spain's shirt. âHere, lookâ he says, taking his phone out of his pocket. âI have proof.â
âProof of what? You being an idiot?â
âAn idiot for you, yesâ he says, showing me what he had been looking for on his phone. âIt's a WhatsApp conversation I had with my brother yesterday before the game when it was announced that you were attending. You can check the date and the time, it isn't fake.â
Your girlfriend is gonna be at the game tonight đ¤ If you win she may give you a kiss đ Instead of Casillas and Sara Carbonero, Pedri and the princess â˝đ¸ďż˝ďż˝đŠđťââ¤ď¸âđâđ¨đťÂ
âThis⌠This means nothingâ I say, giving him his phone back.Â
âI can show you more messages from him teasing me about it. Look.â
People are shipping Gavi with the princess after the game đ Maybe he could introduce you to her little sister đ Gavi king and you prince đ
âI⌠PedriâŚâ
âEverything that happened last night was real. I swear itâ he says. âI didn't kiss you because of a bet with my friends. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I like you.â
âYou don't know me. Like, you barely know anything about me, only what the press publishes.â
âI know enough. Because to meâ he says, taking one of my hands on his, his thumb caressing my knuckles like he had last night. âTo me you aren't invisible or someone's shadow. To me, you shine brighter than anyone else. King, queen, heir to the throne or whatever.â
âThat's so cheesyâ I chuckle.
âBut the truth.â
âPedri, IâŚâ I say, meeting his eyes. He isn't lying. Everything he's said about kissing me because he wanted to and not because of a bet, about liking me, about me not being the invisible princess I always believe myself to be⌠All that is true. I can see it in his face, on his blushed cheeks, in his eyes. He is being honest about it all. âI believe you.â
âYou⌠You do?â
âI doâ I nod.
âThank Godâ he sighs. âI thought any moment now you would call the secret service and they would send me to⌠Where do they send people when they arrest them?â
âCan't tell you. It is the secret service for a reasonâ I wink.
âMakes senseâ he chuckles. âBut does this mean that I am not a dick anymore orâŚ?â he says, closing the space between us a bit.
âWell⌠There is something you could do to make me completely forget about itâ I say, also moving closer towards him.
âSomething like what?â he asks, his other hand finding mine, now both his thumb caressing my skin, bringing back the waves of heat I felt last night.Â
âYou could kiss me with those lips of yoursâ I smirk.
âHere?â he says, looking around. âWhat if someone comes this way and sees us? Like someone from the team, your dad or⌠your mum. Your mum is quite scary, you know?â
âOh, I knowâ I laugh. âBut if we move over hereâŚâ I say, walking us behind a big tree, my back against it. âNo one will see us. We'll be⌠invisibleâ I smile.
âYou are anything but invisible, my ladyâ Pedri smiles back, his hands letting go of mine and moving to rest on my waist.
âThen show meâ I say, wrapping my arms around his neck.Â
âWill you then give me a tour of the palace? You promised it last night, and a princessâŚâ
âKeps her promises, I know.â
âExactlyâ he smirks.
âFirst we kiss, then we do the tour. But just so you know, Carlos will probably join us.â
âWait, is he here?â Pedri says, looking around, his eyes wide.
âHe may be hiding behind a bush, yesâ I laugh.
âShit. If he sees together after what he heard last nightâŚâ
âI'll explain everything to him, don't worry. But if you are being serious about getting to know meâŚâ
âDeadly.â
âThen you better start getting used to his presence.â
âI think I can do that. Because youâ he says, brushing his nose against mine and making me giggle. âAre worth it, my lady. So worth itâ Pedri says before finally kissing me again, making me feel what he has been telling me since we met: that I'm not just someone's shadow, a second option. That I am not the invisible princess anymore.Â
#pedri#pedri gonzalez#pedri x reader#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri imagine#pedri gonzalez imagine#pedri fanfic#pedri gonzalez fanfic#football fanfic#football imagine
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What they wish to tell you
Decks used : I don't care oracle, White Numen tarot, Spirit Junkie oracle
Group 1 âď¸
"My productivity stems from inspiration. When I focus on what brings me joy, my tasks become effortless actions." The Moon, 4 of pentacles, 5 of cups, Abuse of power rx, Party in your heart, Surprise rx
They wish to tell you that they're afraid and unhappy. That they feel powerless within this connection. They feel like they've lost all chances of being with you and that scares them. I get a lot of sadness from this spread. Sadness and regret. They feel unsafe. Like all the fun has been taken away from them. They can't seem to rejoice about the things they used to like or to marvel at life. They have a hard time focusing on daily tasks, seeing the glass half full. They feel uninspired, unmotivated, lost because things aren't as they used to be. They feel like you've changed, whether that's the truth or not. They feel disconnected from you, from people in general. They have a hard time thinking positively. I feel like they struggle with mental health issues at the moment. At the back of each deck we have The High Priestess, Dopamine ? Dopa-go ! & My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me. This person feels like they are not supported by the people around them. They have lost the will to fight for what makes them happy, what they believe in. They're going through a dark night of the soul and they're in a lot of confusion right now. That's also something they try to hide from people around them, including you. They put on a façade but the truth is they wish they could tell you how empty they feel without you. This person wishes they could go back to the times where things weren't as complicated and they could enjoy themselves freely. This person feels like they cannot be themselves freely with their loved ones. For some of you, the person you're thinking of may struggle with their sense of identity. I was picking up on the LGBTQIA2S+ community. For some of you, if your person is a masculine, they may struggle with expressing their feminine side because of societal expectations or pressure from family. I was specifically picking up on Drag Queens and Kings. But more than that I just feel like your person is currently struggling to find their path in life and may be questioning themselves a lot. Which is a very tiring and uncertain time of their life. And they wish they could talk about it with you but for some reason they struggle to do so. Their heart feels very guarded. They are very insecure right now. They have a hard time showing compassion to their own self for what they are experiencing. They may be blaming themselves a lot when they have nothing to be ashamed of. I feel like if this person could change their surroundings maybe they wouldn't be going through such a difficult phase.
Group 2 đž
"I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world." Death, The Chariot, 3 of swords, Stop doing so much, There's no planet B! , Stand up for yourself rx
The person on your mind wishes to tell you that they feel stuck career wise and they don't know where they stand anymore. This person doesn't feel happy with their professional life as of now and they are afraid to leave whatever situation they're in because they have no idea where they would go or what they would do in such case. This person feels like they don't have what it takes to start over again. They wish they could move on and find something better, get closer to you possibly but they lack the strength and courage to do so. This person feels burnt out by their responsibilities and engagements. They're also afraid of criticism from their peers. On the back of each deck we have knight of swords & Close your eyes, close the curtains and sleep & "Attacking others is an attack on myself. I choose to release this now." They wish to tell you that they do not dare to speak up their mind for fear of rejection. They're afraid of their own light and power, as well as the effects their choices would have on the people around them. They're afraid of the unknown, of "losing" what they're used to. They're afraid of change. They're losing sleep over the fact that no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they think about it, they can't seem to find a way out or a way to change the outcome. On one hand, they know that where they're at right now is detrimental to them. But on the other hand, they feel like if they left whatever situation they're in right now, they would be wasting something beautiful and they could not go back. This person is afraid of taking responsibility and they feel very bad about themselves right now. They're in a dilemma and though they sincerely wish to put an end to this cycle, they can't seem to get themselves out of it. They wish they could tell you how exhausted they are and how hurt they are but they keep it to themselves because they do not wish to burden you with their struggles. Also, for some of you, your person sees you working really hard for your dreams and they're afraid that you're overworking yourself. They wish you would take the time to rest and take care of yourself.
Group 3 đ
"My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me." 10 of wands, 2 of wands, The Magician, I dare to declare my love, Please leave a message, Spread the love
I really like the energy of this spread. It's such a stark contrast to the other groups. They wish to tell you that, though they have a lot on their plate, you do not leave their mind and they still have a lot of hope for your connection. You are a source of motivation and inspiration to them. You are the reason why they get up in the morning and do their best every day. They wish to tell you that whatever you are going through, they still appreciate you and care for you. That should you need them, even if they're busy with their own things to deal with, they'll make time and space for you, to comfort you and guide you. They wish to tell you that you are so dear to them and that they're working really hard to be able to be closer to you. That may be true especially for those of you that are in a long distance connection. This person hopes to travel so that they can meet you. They're constantly day dreaming about you. They wish to tell you that you're all they care about and that they only have eyes for you. At the back of each deck we have Ace of pentacles, You are here & "Compassion is my compass. I am willing to hold space for the experience of others." The "You are here" card show an arrow pointing to the Earth from an outer space perspective and the Earth is right at the center of the galaxy from that angle. So they wish to tell you that you're at the center of their Universe. You occupy their thoughts at every moment of their life. I get the same vibe from the compassion card. They are willing to adapt and change things in their life so that you can better fit into their world. With this ace of pentacles, they wish to tell you that they would like to start anew with you or give your connection a new turn by making you an offer. I feel like this person would like to be in a relationship with you, regardless of what people may think and despite the challenges this may rise. It's like, no matter what, they're willing to make it work because you mean so much to them. Honestly this is so sweet.
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