#and you see all the versions of you who were fully realized given lives and friends and families

[calcifiedcadaver]

Look past the facade and see it for what it really is....

See them for what they really are.

(Or, what if Ink could see the creators and totally isn't maybe still a little resentful over being abandoned, haha, what made you think that?)

[keferon]

Let there be angst. Let Jazz's world crash and burn as he realizes the old Prowl will never be back. The frustration of caregiving for someone you love, watching them go from being fully capable to unable to even clean themselves, their body failing them even as they are forced to exist.

Can Prowl still even feel his hands? Or can he just see them, unknowing of how much pressure he is exerting with them. Have you ever woken up with your hands numb? Unable to feel them even as you flex them, clenching and clenching hoping for that rush of sensation, of warm and cold, of rough and soft. What if you knew that sensation will never come back, that you will never feel your partner gently intertwine heir hands with yours ever again.

Make it hurt as Prowl recovers. Slowly, excruciatingly. Does Prowl's body even recognize empurata as the torture it is? Or will it heal like a bone that was broken. Sometimes fractured bones will heal wrong. It's called malunion and in order to fix it the bone must be broken once again. Will Prowl need to broken again to heal?

Of course he won't ever be like the old Prowl. Mental scars run deep, deeper than his broken frame, deeper than a surgeon's scalpel will ever cut. Some scars will never disappear, never fade, always around to remind him, never letting him forget.

When he gets new hands, if he ever does, will they ache? Will they burn and freeze, shake and chip? They won't be the same afterwards, even if his old, older, hands survive and were given back to him. The scars will remind him. The suffering lack of mobility, of losing the difference between fingers and hands, palms and knuckles. There could be no blemish upon them and yet his joints are stiff, almost immobile, and no amount of doctor's visits could explain why.

Prowl will survive. No doubt about that. But isn't life more than just surviving. What about living? What about thriving?

Prowl will heal, he always does and always will. But there is something to say when a beloved picture frame is more glue and duct tape then wood. It's kept around because no one could bear parting with it.

So yes, Prowl will die. Maybe not in frame, maybe not in mind, but he will die. And there will be someone new. Someone who shares the same body, the same name, the same spark as Prowl. Maybe that being loves Jazz as Prowl oncr did. Or maybe the trauma is too much and that fragile, loving bond of romance was swept away by the wind, embers too cold to ever reignite.

Let it be a bittersweet ending, let there be pain and hurt that will be felt long after the last words are said, the last picture drawn. Let it be known that Prowl didn't walk through hell without scars.

May the sweetness of fluff burn as it is consumed, bleeding citrus on open wounds. Prowl will never be Prowl again but there is a hope, in the long distant future, that he can smile again and can feel his hands once again.

(Short version: angst and fluff please. Hurt and comfort with a bittersweet and ambigous ending. Oh, I also typed this all on my phone w/o autocorrect so I apologize if it turns out weird and words are mispelled.)

H-hey? Hey Anon? I don’t think I will ever be to recover from this.

[thisischaostragic]

i have been holding space for the Agatha finale (i’m in queer media) and am pleased to report that my feelings about it have shifted quite significantly. follow me, my friends, to a more or less coherent, very long text post at the end

primary thing: this show is very much about motherhood. idk why that didn’t totally register for me in the first half given how often they mentioned Nicky, but realizing this changed my analysis a ton. Billy doesn’t just remind Agatha of Nicky — Agatha loves Billy like a son. (i know “like a son” is an oversimplification, but I’m sticking with it for this post.)

with that, my thoughts on Agatha’s arc almost completely flipped. when Rio shows up in E8 and says she has to take Billy, Agatha is revisiting her deepest wound all over again. her reaction is harsh, but it’s not some long-simmering revenge plan or a calculated effort to hurt Rio. Agatha is literally just reacting to the fact that, after all of the almost-reconciliation, the love of her life is taking her son again. i think she was trying to get Rio to fight for her or to say the trade was too high a price and bend the rules. Agatha was trying to get Death to act only as her lover, and looks devastated when Rio actually walks away instead.

and so, when Agatha goes to the morgue trial and says that “sometimes, boys die,” she’s continuing that realization that Rio isn’t personally chasing her down and causing her grief. sometimes, death just… happens. and “out of Death, life” is largely about Agatha realizing that Rio did bend the rules for Nicky, but also doubles down on the Nicky and Billy parallels. both of Agatha’s sons were literally borne of Death and living on stolen time. loss is inevitable.

i think Agatha genuinely believed that Rio could have kept Nicky alive and chose not to. we know that Agatha blamed herself for Nicky dying (“the truth is too awful”). so Agatha, who was taught by her own mother that nobody would ever actually love her for who she is, probably thought that the love of her life just… didn’t love her as much as she thought she did. going back to E1, i think “you don’t have a heart” is equal parts about Nicky as it is about Agatha herself. her main takeaway is that everyone will betray her, even when they claim to love her, and so she hides behind power and a god awful reputation so that she can keep everyone at arm’s length and never get hurt again.

ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY: when Billy is about to die, Agatha almost retreats back into the version of herself she became after Nicky died, but she doesn’t. she turns around and faces the pain head-on.

and I want to take a second to appreciate how immensely hard that would be. Agatha spent centuries killing people so she could be powerful enough to stay numb. Agatha spent all of that time pushing away the love of her life, who still loves her, who still sees her fully, and who Agatha is clearly still desperate to return to. Agatha realizes, probably to absurd amounts of despair, that she was wrong about all of it. and she still turns around.

it’s not about Agatha randomly sacrificing herself for a last minute villain kind-of-redemption. it’s about Agatha breaking the cycle she’s trapped herself in for an unfathomably long time, admitting that she knows Rio couldn’t change the outcome, and acknowledging that, yeah, she actually does love this kid.

and honestly?? i don’t think Agatha becoming a ghost counts as killing her. she’s literally still around, doing stuff, picking up brooches (👀 Rio wya), and getting a second chance at… not motherhood, exactly, but caring for a child. (and a queer child! and the idea of Agatha, who has been queer since the *1600s*, getting to tell this gay kid over and over again that there’s nothing innately wrong with him makes me actually sob.)

HOWEVER! i maintain some criticisms. i think Jen deserved to have an actual fight with the doctor who bound her. (the oops! it was Agatha All Along twist was… complicated. i have mixed feelings. essay for another day, but i wanted Jen to have rage time that everyone was just cheering for.)

i needed Death lore. how is she physically with Agatha so often if, as Agatha states, 120 people die every minute? is she Death the cosmic entity, or are green witches sort of responsible for decay on earth?

some of the plot elements were severely under-developed, and frustratingly, the vast majority of the underdeveloped plotlines had to do with Agatha/Rio’s romantic relationship, Agatha’s mother, and Agatha’s reasons for killing people. (the fact that they said she’s a siphon in interviews and not once on the show will never stop baffling me lmao.) i find it very frustrating that a LARGE chunk of the underdeveloped stuff relates back to Agatha’s queerness in some way.

however… i am willing to be generous about some of that, because i find it difficult to believe that this *extremely queer* creative team actually just disregarded major queer plot elements. i am far more inclined to believe that they were operating under a hostile corporation and pushing as far as they could, and in that case, they did a fucking phenomenal job.

i genuinely think that the way they landed the show opens the door for them to… dare I say it? … give Agatha/Rio a happy ending?? ghost Agatha literally need only show up to Rio’s house or cave or dimension or whatever and be like “heyyyyy, yeah that kiss was forgiveness and also i’m solid enough to use my hands now” and it would be believable. the fact that it would take them only 15 seconds to give us two fucked up lesbians having their version of happily ever after is actually pretty cool

anyway, this is an abridged summary of how my feelings abt the Agatha All Along finale went from like a 4/10 rating to an 8/10.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

"You're quitting?" the villain asked and the hero nearly jumped out of their own skin. They had had quite the day and the last person they had expected to see in their own living room was the villain.

"Jeez- yes-" They felt their pulse in their throat and when they set down their plate, their fingers shook. Right. They hadn't told the villain.

It was stupid that they felt - to some degree at least - obligated to tell their nemesis that they weren't interested in wearing the cape anymore. In all honesty, that feeling of obligation only existed because the hero wanted some comfort.

"You're quitting?" the villain asked again and the hero only frowned softly.

"Yeah."

"Bullshit."

"No, I am done. I am done with this." In return, the villain let out a huff and crossed their arms in front of their chest.

"You can't just quit," the villain said, as if they had any say in this. It was refreshing, though. Most people had encouraged them. Hell, their parents had begged for years, colleagues called them incredibly lucky and friends only sighed in gratitude.

But the villain didn't seem to accept this.

"I did. I did quit," the hero said. "I signed the papers and everything. They wanted to throw a party but I declined."

They stared at their wine glass. It was difficult not to feel like a total loser. Because, in the end, this was much more "giving up" than it was "quitting."

"Why?"

The hero took in a deep breath and a sip from the glass. The wine was a gift from their boss, but it tasted much too sour.

"Why are you here? Was it that necessary to break into my apartment?"

"Why are you leaving? We were just starting to..." The hero stared at the villain. Starting to...? The villain rolled their eyes. "The people love you."

They came closer, every step taken urgently. The hero was flattered but also slightly overwhelmed. They could feel their cheeks heat up when the villain was right in front of them, their hand nearly reaching for the hero's arm.

Only now, the hero realized that they had never been in their home together and moreover, the hero had never looked this revealing, even though they were fully clothed.

Their gaze was glued to the floor.

"This stupid city needs you. Most heroes are total assholes with no consideration of anyone's feelings, including citizens. Do you want that to be your legacy? The perfect hero who gave up?"

"I'm just sick of all the blood. And the violence. About not actually making a difference. Once I defeat a bad guy, two more appear like hydra heads. I'm just...I'm not good enough. I can't deal with it anymore," the hero admitted. They stared at their toast on the plate and wondered what their next move would be. For most of their life, they had trained to be a hero. They had given everything. "It just hurts. A lot."

Getting a job, probably. That seemed to be a good move.

And then, the villain laughed. It wasn't a chuckle, it wasn't a snicker. It was a loud and honest laugh. As if the hero had just made the most ridiculous joke.

"You're funny."

"You know what? I don't have to tell you anything."

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to this city," the villain said. Now, they seemed quite aggravated, quite serious. "And you're quitting?"

"Like I said, I...I am just not good enough."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

"I am not saving enough people, okay?! People keep dying and I can't...I can't..." The hero bit their bottom lip but it was still trembling. "I can't save everyone."

The villain was quiet and the hero could see how hard they were clenching their fists. When was the last time they had ever seen them this angry?

"You know what? Screw you." The villain frowned, almost as if their own words pained them. "No one can save everyone. But a hero, a true hero, inspires others to be the very best version of themselves. They rise to the occasion and others follow them, not out of obligation but because they...because you...because you touch the very soul of others. You're the light in the darkest cave, you are the water in the driest desert, you are the hope the people crave."

The hero hadn't noticed how their jaw had dropped. They didn't know what to say, all they could whisper was the villain's name.

"Ugh. And now I am making a fool out of myself again because of you." The villain crossed their arms in front of their chest but the hero still saw the soft blush on their face.

"No, you...listen, I..." Why was it so difficult to say anything?

"I'm leaving. And you-" the villain pointed at them with an angry index finger "-better show up tomorrow."

With that, they climbed out of the window and the hero stared at their toast for the next 20 minutes in silence.

[signanothername]

May I ask if you think mtt would change their names at all if they left Nightmare? Whether they want to start over, whether the names were from Nightmare and they want nothing to do with him, or solely because after that they could realize they aren't the same, any reason.

For me personally, I always love to think MTT are homesick 24/7, and so for Horror and Murder specifically, they never even signed up to be called anything other than “Sans” cause to them, that’s who they are, and that’s the name they associate with their homes

They had those nicknames forced upon them to “avoid confusion”, but to them that’s just an excuse to strip them of the only thing that is still truly theirs (and that’s true to an extent), they were always “Sans” and now even that is being taken away from them

And cause Murder is in this state of “seeing how much you changed yet still are the same regardless” (the horrifying version™) it’s even more painful to him to be called anything other than his og name

Horror tolerates it, but would definitely perfer to be called “Sans”, he doesn’t appreciate being stripped of the name that associates him with his family and home

Killer is a complicated case, cause not only do I believe he got the name “Killer” before even meeting Nightmare, but depending on the stage he has different reactions to it, with guilt ridden Stage 1 seeing it as the name he deserves after everything he’s done all while holding so much distaste for it, stage 2 not caring about his name and simply treating it with a “that makes sense” attitude and stage 3 having mixed feelings about it, and stage 4 not truly being fully there to comprehend the name other than seeing it as it is, a name and that’s it

With that being said, Murder and Horror would immediately switch back to their og names, making it a point that no one is allowed to call them anything other than “Sans”, too confusing?? Tough luck, everyone gotta deal with it, it’s not their problem, with Murder being aggressive about it, while Horror is more passive aggressive

I like to think Murder and Horror developed a twisted form of friendship between them tho, and so when it comes to each other, it’s a sort of “special pass privileges” sorta thing, so Murder allows Horror to call him “Murder” or “Dust” (Dust being a nickname given to Murder by Horror in the first place) and Horror allows Murder to call him “Horror”

It’s not that big of a deal tho cause both of them will find the first train home and take it, going their separate ways

When it comes to Killer, assuming he now lives with Color, wouldn’t ask Color to call him anything other than “Killer” cause as I mentioned before, one half of Killer thinks it’s the name he deserves, and the other half not having the capacity to care or is undecisive

I like to believe that stage 1 would absolutely love to be called “Sans” again, it’s some sorta far away wish for him, a guilty pleasure, he just doesn’t see himself as worthy of it, and I think as time goes on, Killer would realize how much he truly changed, that no matter how much he resembles “Sans” in looks or how some of his Sans-like attitude is still intact in stage 1, Killer changed too much to truly see “Sans” as a fitting name for himself

So i feel like he’ll keep “Killer” as his name, but i also love to think Color would call him different nicknames too that isn’t negatively associated with him, Color never says it outright, but he sometimes does that as a way to show Killer that he isn’t just his name’s sake, Killer understands that, and appreciates it

[why-what-no]

Being Alicent’s Daughter Would Include

Pairing: Alicent x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: Allusions to violence, misogyny

Notes: Alicent is literally my baby. So is Rhaenyra. But right now Alicent gets the spotlight

When Alicent was pregnant with you, there was a slight bitterness when she thought of becoming a mother once more

It wasn’t your fault, she knew that. And she knew that she would love you more than anything, just like she did for her other children.

But the sight of her husband everyday, of the thought of raising another child who looks so much like a young version of her former dearest friend, hurt her in ways that she wouldn’t fully let herself understand.

After all, the crown needed heirs. That was her job. And she fulfilled it best that she could.

When you were born, as she expected, she loved you the moment she laid eyes on you. Used to the birthing process by now, she would normally hand her children over to the maid to be cleaned

But with you, her fourth, she couldn’t resist holding you just a bit longer.

Having another girl filled her with happiness, but also fear. Knowing that you would befall a fate similar to hers. Not everyone can live as Rhaenyra does, she thought bitterly.

One future for you would be to be betrothed to Aemond. Alicent knew he would be a decent husband to you, unlike Aegon to her sweet Helaena.

The other voice in her head, which sounded suspiciously like her father’s, knew that a Targaryen princess would be a good bargaining piece in a political marriage benefiting the crown.

But Alicent ignored all of that. For as long as she could keep you, you were hers. You were the small bit of light in Kings Landing. And she made it her mission to not let that light get extinguished.

She made sure that you had all that you needed and more growing up, keeping you protected from all the darkness and violence in the world outside the walls of the castle.

You were the baby of the family, always having either Alicent or Aemond or one of the very few others that she trusted by your side.

When you began to grow up, you did start realizing that the world wasn’t as godly and fair as your mother had led you to think. And she took this time to be honest with you about the world.

No matter what, you knew she loved you more than anything. As you did with her. Even in moments where your values clashed, like when she turned a blind eye to your eldest brother’s actions, she was your rock. Your anchor, your protector.

She did all she could to raise you into a kind, respectable young woman. And as you grew she was so proud of the woman her daughter was becoming.

She hoped you would live a blessed life. To marry someone you truly loved and have many happy children. To make a friend who knew and loved you more than any husband would and get to stay with them for your whole life.

There was still that sadness when you would look at her and all she would see was Rhaenyra. When she would remember the joy she took thinking about them flying away on dragon back together

The traitorous part of her that wanted to visit Rhaenyra. To show her what you have become. She had thought when she was little that she and Rhaenyra would raise their children together.

But now there was a great invisible wall between the two woman. And it burned Alicent when ever she tried to touch it or even think of it.

So instead, Alicent ignored it. Putting her full energy into you and your siblings. Pretending that it didn’t matter when her husband would talk with pride about Rhaenyra’s sons and say nothing about that amazing daughter that Alicent had given him.

Still, Alicent made sure to love you enough for the two of them.

Taglist: @icravethesmut

[kinardsevan]

So I’m having a thought.

Specifically on fake mouth static. Because the rhetoric around Bucks bisexuality up to this point has kind-of been that he wasn’t entirely aware of it until Tommy kissed him.

Except, I don’t know that I fully believe that. Because between “trying to get your attention has been exhausting” and “that was better than fake mouth static” I feel like there are some implications there. And granted, maybe up to that point his realization was more “it’s this guy” focused instead of “it’s the possibility of men in general” that the kiss cracks open. But also, when you extrapolate the first line to the second, there’s something about the “better than fake mouth static” which can then be understood to mean that something about it was hot to Evan. Maybe the absolute disregard of his job for the sake of his friends. Maybe the fact that he’s willing to help people he hasn’t worked with in years. Maybe something else entirely. But something about that moment intrigued him.

Idk. I mean, I feel like there’s this version of things where he saw his attraction to men as normal as his attraction to women, but also didn’t view it as anything that was available to him to pursue for whatever reasoning. But then Tommy kisses him and creates this space that isn’t filled with expectation or overindulgence. We also know Tommy just laid himself bare because while Evan is verbally telling him that he’s interested, he’s the one who took the step to kiss him, risked serious fall out. And also he didn’t just to the whole “let me kiss you and see how you react” trope. We’re given this beat after the kiss where we’re shown the way it affects him too; that he’s also got some feelings on the line, and obviously those implications are far messier because he’s out and aware of his own feelings, and also aware of how he could get burned if Evan isn’t interested.

So I just think it’s really interesting how there are these little connections that connect through the process to show that in just a few interactions, they both managed to captivate one another enough that they were both willing to burn shit down in their own lives to get to know the other better.

(might be subtext in all of that in relation to the passion in their relationship, but I won’t pull at that thread today.)

[drdemonprince]

TV Glow was devastating. incredibly effective visually, thematically, and performance-wise. Schoenbrun has leveled up in a major way since World's Fair, which I felt like I was five years too old for, both in terms of references and from having seen too much weird shit in this life to be impressed by her version of what's "scary" online.

This movie was far more creatively ambitious and emotionally resonance -- it having a bigger budget certainly helped stretch its legs, and Schoenbrun used it to its fullest.

Justice Smith's acting made me want to cry. He shows a true reverence for the material that few cis actors would; far from viewing the character as a little exercise, he transforms into her discomfort and sadness. His little voice warbles and the way his face softens with hope at a few crucial moments made my heart break for him, knowing already that the dreams he'd barely let himself hold onto would never come true.

I can't believe an Emma Stone produced wide release movie is about transgender egg drama here in 2024. jarring for something that once felt so private and esoteric to be broadly relatable to audiences now. it's fitting, given the movie is about a mass-release TV show that a handful of tender freaks think must be about something so much more than this world would ever let it be. kind of a funny trick there.

is this a movie about depressed isolated queer people whose minds curdle around a random media property because loneliness makes the brain turn inward and eat itself? or is it the tragic tale of a woman who never realized her destiny and allowed the matrix to keep plugging her repeatedly back in?

you can read it both ways at once and it's best if you do. some equipped with fandom goggles with elect to see it only in the more fantastical light.

There are already dozens of people coming out as transgender for the first time in their lives in the Letterboxd reviews of this film, saying they recognize their repression in Owen, their egg at last busted open by this heartbreaking tale of a life unfulfillingly lived. I get it -- before I transitioned, the same thing happened to me with Casey Plett's incredible story collection, A Safe Girl to Love. There is something painfully enchanting about the forever-unrealized trans person whose suffering we imagine would be escapable if only they could admit who they are.

But what do you do when you have overcome your fear of being "crazy," left your old world behind, and passed through that veil to become the person you were always meant to be, only to find that you are still stoop-shouldered and awkward, still overlooked with your heart cut out of you, apologizing to others for your asthma in between your death rattles? What if you never get all the poison out? After you figure out you're a hero from another dimension, what will you do if you can never get back?

I find myself asking these things, as a person who used to fantasize that transitioning would solve all my problems. The imagined future transitioned me felt so distant that it was easy to push him off. And then after years passed, when I finally reached out to claim him, I discovered he was just as awkward, lonesome, insecure, and unhappy as I was, because he was just me. If i'd always been transgender, then I'd always been unhappy for deeply transgender reasons back then, too, and I'd already known a whole lot more about what it meant to be me than I'd thought that I had. Fantasies had been a seductive distraction from the world that was trying to kill me, and they suffocated me whether I denied them or if I believed in them.

This is a movie about fantasies, and the suburbs, and about being transgender. And it's bleak, but I think some who are on the cusp of making the same realizations as Owen can't fully know why yet. Life on the other side of knowing is more liveable, but I can't explain why. It didn't make things better. It wasn't the great escape I had hoped. But it did force me to confront who I was and how many monsters there always had been all around me. And that's better than living in a fantasy.

[yuenthevoices]

Hanzo Shimada x (former) Servant!Reader

ok so- we all know the Shimada family was like, rich rich, right? imagine being a worker at shimada castle - just this average person working as a servant (probably with great pay ngl) when they were younger, and many years later seeing the heir of the family you used to work for being the hanamura equivalent of batman.

Younger Hanzo would be both easier yet harder to interact with, given your position.

Physically, it wouldn't be much of a problem to find him. Working at Shimada Castle would make it much easier, that's for sure.

On the other hand, he'd be harder to reach emotionally. Both because of clan expectations he'd no doubt be constantly trying and training to live up to, as well as the fact that he isn't naturally a social person.

Easiest solution? Don't try to interact with him. At least, don't try too hard.

If you work at the castle for long enough, being a consistent enough presence to become simply a familiar part part of Shimada Castle, he'll grow more open to you. As open as he knows how to be, anyway.

Hanzo strikes me as the type to favor routines, or at least the familiarity that comes with it.

Say you were the one assigned to bring him tea every so often. Maybe you knew enough about tea to be able to recommend blends to his preference, or you simply were assigned the role.

Overtime, he'd subtly begin to open up - asking about the tea blend you've decided on this time, perhaps even complimenting your choice of tea to serve.

If you work for the Shimada Clan long enough, he'd probably even notice if you were gone for a day, asking you the next time you bring him his tea.

However, despite this familiarity, I'm not sure if he would ever consider you a friend T-T. He'd most likely still see you as a staff member, maybe an acquaintance? Perhaps unrealized crush as well.

If you ever did develop a crush on Hanzo while working for the Shimada Clan, fully expect Genji to find out, regardless of if you've ever even talked to him.

Genji would tease either you or Hanzo no matter if you had a crush or not - nudging Hanzo whenever you walked within eyesight and pointing you out to him as 'his favorite servant', or following you around asking you questions while you were just trying to do your job.

After the Shimada Clan falls however, that would be...interesting.

Years after leaving your job as a servant to the Shimada Clan, just trying to make your way home through the streets at night, you'd run into him again.

Your reunion could vary from watching him take out a bunch of thugs from a rooftop to meeting again at a teashop or cafe.

Regardless of how you meet, you two do meet again. I'd imagine for Hanzo it'd be a bit bittersweet - seeing someone from his past, from before he lost everything, yet who's also a familiar face who he felt at least somewhat comfortable with.

He wouldn't open up immediately of course, but it'd be a bit easier to connect with him before, now that there wasn't a social class dynamic-thing happening anymore.

You'd most likely be the one to have to work to maintain contact between the two of you. Being the first to ask him things, message him, etc.

If you take that time however, he'd certainly become closer than you. Perhaps even realizing his unrealized crush from his youth.

If he were to develop/redevelop a crush on you, he'd certainly have to go to either Genji or Kiriko, both of which would most likely give him some version of - 'wow, you just realized?' - as a response, before giving varying advice, but none of which he finds helpful.

I'm not quite sure if he'd ever have the courage to ask you out. If he did however, it'd either be the most romantic scene every, or on accident with pure comedic timing.

anyways this is all i've got for now, maybe i'll write a proper one shot with this scenario later!

[emry-stars-art]

Massarati was a courting gift to andrew from abram after he realized they were courting one another

My face reading this omggggggg

(Gonna put this up top instead of at the end; find the royal au writing masterpost here 💕)

So this is the 4800 words of fluff; @jtl-fics was bouncing a LOT of ideas with me about it and everything was so sweet 😭🥰 you can read it here! :D or continue on this post for the sparknotes version from Abram's pov (minus the picnic date tho 👀), and let’s showcase my inexperience with horses ✨

THIS IS GREAT I done got myself a little by making Maserati a rescue case… like Abram’s probably right about what happened to her though I didn’t fully decide on it (I’m also making up everything about horse breeds in this universe thank youuu). He’s out one day for whatever reason and comes across this horse in no pasture that’s tall, clearly made for working, but it’s far too skinny. A little skiddish, but not enough that Abram can’t approach after a while of trying. It’s a familiar breed under the dirt and malnutrition.

He doesn’t even bother seeing where it might have come from. He fashions a makeshift lasso/bridle thing from rope and takes a few hours calming the horse enough to bring it back with him to the castle, leaving it in one of the smaller/less used stables with plenty of food and water before going to find Day or someone else that might be able to help. She doesn’t look impressive at first, obviously. But with lots of help and lots of time from Abram taken in secret to the stables, she slowly starts to get better. She gains weight, she gets readjusted to people, she lets him take care of her coat and hair.

At some point, Andrew insists once again on keeping Abram nearby when Abram is having a worse night than usual. Panicking easily, generally unwell. (Andrew is also wondering why Abram is suddenly spending so much time away, why he won’t tell Andrew where he’s been or what he’s doing. It’s completely in his right to do it, so Andrew never forces the issue, but it’s such an obvious switch from his normal behavior. Right when Andrew thought he could start leaning into the courting, it feels like Abram is pulling away and it hurts a little. He gets worried.) Abram can’t sleep, and Andrew won’t sleep until Abram does, so they lay on his bed with Andrew resting against Abram’s lap, relaxing or reading or tracing scars with his fingertips. It’s a long while before Abram asks, unprompted, “Did you ever have an ideal horse?”

Andrew gives him a look.

“I mean… a dream horse. Maybe when you were little, something you always wanted.”

Andrew makes a small noise. “I think most kids do.”

“Right. So did you?”

It takes more convincing than that, lots of Abram assuring Andrew that it’s not stupid, he’s just curious. He’ll tell Andrew his next. And finally Andrew tells Abram of when he was young, living with the Spears, and would fantasize about being anywhere else. He’d take a horse as black as night so no one would see him when he ran away, a horse that was strong and fast enough to take him wherever he wanted to go. He used to imagine it would carry two, so he could take his governess with him, but that was before she left. It was all child’s play, anyway. It didn’t matter now. (Abram’s horse wasn’t so detailed, but he said if he had to pick a coat color, he was very happy with the blue roan he was given.)

So the next time Abram goes to the stable he looks at her, sees how well she’s bulking up, sees again how much larger she is than the Friesians he’s used to from Evermore. She looks even stronger than those already capable horses. When she’s healthy she can certainly carry two riders and more besides, and her endurance is like the horse equivalent of his own. Her coat is getting shiny again, sleek like black oil.

When she’s healthy and ready, Abram trains her. He again has help, of course - there are people who’s jobs it is to take care of and train the castle’s horses and it isn’t him - but she has an undeniable soft spot for Abram. They get her used to being fully decked out in nice tack and equipment and whatever else. Abram holds her steady to get shoed. The veterinarians/au equivalent make sure she stays healthy and the stable master grows more impressed with her every day. She’s not your average horse, he tells Abram. She’s smart. There’s real intelligence in those eyes.

Abram could not be happier.

By the time the twins’ birthday comes around she is ready to go. Abram spends the morning before his work begins making sure she is as sparkling as he can get her, all ready for her favorite stable hand to take her to the main stables later while Abram attends the prince at the festivities. The stable hand is going to put her in her new tack, too, the beautiful white set Abram spent a good chunk of coin to have commissioned. The horse is perfectly well mannered around people now, though only Abram and a handful others can ride her. Abram only plans his evening because he knows she lets anyone ride alongside him - if Abram deems them worthy, the horse won’t protest. It isn’t trust he ever takes lightly. He’s pretty certain she’ll end up allowing Andrew every privilege she allows Abram. He is so excited and so, so nervous for that night. She’s as perfect as she could possibly be, but Andrew has gotten Abram so many wonderful gifts. This is the first time Abram has returned the favor with such intention. Hopefully it’s good enough. (She is.)

Oh also in case you’re wondering. Andrew only needs a new horse because his beloved GS was finally retired, GS is old and now gets to spend the rest of his days in nice pastures where Andrew feeds him lots of treats 💕 every like is one sugar cube gods bless

[knuckle]

it's so odd to me that it's like a meme that shi qingxuan is an innocent flower who's never done anything wrong when he xuan calls out very explicitly that desiring to cover up for shi wudu and help him amass power despite knowing that he's a ruthless serial killer who committed an extremely grave crime that gave you unearned privileges is wrong and everyone is just like well if your family member is orchestrating murdering people and getting them raped and stealing their livelihood it's fine not to seek justice

He Xuan took pains to bring Shi Qingxuan to his hometown where Scholar He has been turned into a gruesome folk hero. Shi Qingxuan figures out what had happened to Scholar He before losing her powers. They openly see how horrific Scholar He's life was, how his loyal childhood sweetheart, his sweet little sister, and his parents all died and the former two were sold off and raped beforehand. When Xie Lian deduces that Scholar He may be the Reverend of Empty words or have replaced it because he was the only victim that rather than die in despair, died fighting, full of resentment and spirit, Qingxuan said that they couldn't compare to him.

They had fully processed how horrific how thoroughly disgusting what Shi Wudu did especially after losing powers and wanted to live as a mortal. However, even after days (which Qingxuan had time to reflect!) in captivity with Shi Wudu, after being rescued by "Ming Xiong" and Xie Lian, Qingxuan still went back to Shi Wudu the moment he was in trouble, even after "Ming Yi" also tried to stop her and asked her if it was really right, despite knowing it was not, she went ahead and selfishly picked her brother, knowing that assisting him and helping him pass the trial would level him up and give him even more impunity in the heavens.

When He Xuan points out that they had given many chances, Qingxuan is unable to argue because of knowing it's true. Even Xie Lian realizes that as an outsider he should not have interfered after a certain point despite his bias toward Qingxuan. Even Hua Cheng had a strong conviction that He Xuan was justified and had been actively lying to and at times even working against Xie Lian's investigating to support Black Water's quest. The amount of moral wrong that had to be involved for Hua Cheng to pick He Xuan's feelings, even remotely, over Xie Lian's had to be immense.

Every single justification and feeling Shi Qingxuan had, while very human or understandable, was just an excuse to pick Shi Wudu - to protect him even though it was sinful, a lesser version of what Shi Wudu had decided to do for Shi Qingxuan. It's not the same level of wrongdoing, but it is still very wrong. Especially because we all heard from Shi Qingxuan's own mouth how wronged Scholar He was, how disgusting what Shi Wudu did was.

We also have Xie Lian's deduction that Shi Qingxuan was aware Shi Wudu wanted to find another innocent if possible to switch Shi Qingxuan's fate again, which is why she initially wanted to escape. In the end, Shi Qingxuan picked familial ties and love over justice, an inversion of He Xuan's hopes for her, probably especially after seeing the deep indignation the wind master had at Pei Ming trying to help and excuse Pei Xiu, especially after being friends for perhaps hundreds of years. He Xuan too was hoping or perhaps felt a sense of justice themself that they had to give the opportunity - for whatever reason tried to give Shi Qingxuan the chance to pick the weak, dispossessed victims, whose ashes and blood fertilized the fruits of her unearned glory, over the water tyrant. And she didn't. That's why Qingxuan too had to kneel before the urns of the He family.

Also, what is there to pity about how it turned out? Shi Qingxuan has friends, has a crew who love and refer to them as Lao Feng, has been proven in their eyes a bona fide god, has a carefree, if hard life, and even did not end up having their fate switched. With the way they stand above the crowd and have the chance to actually experience hardship and the moral qualities that would aid ascension, I feel it is actually possible to ascend on real merits this time too, as a god of beggars, or a god of mercy. In the end, He Xuan was merciful, did not injure Shi Qingxuan themself, and only took her off the unearned pedestal. They even got the absolution of He Xuan not hating them after the wind master fan scene and will likely continue to have a better and better mortal life. Being physically disabled is actually not the worst thing that can happen to you and Shi Qingxuan seems to be leading a happier life than for example the Xianle trio had for the last 800 years, probably because it is Qingxuan's fate to have a happy life.

[brucebocchi]

Ranking every new anime I watched in 2023, Pt. 4: #5-1

hey, i just started a ko-fi for my writing and possible other creative outlets. this post will also be available there, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i'm currently between jobs. the tumblr version of part 1 can be found here, part 2 here, and part 3 here.

The list is complete! This took a lot of work but I'm over the moon to get this out there. Please consider leaving a tip if you've enjoyed reading.

Here goes, my top five anime of 2023:

5. Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Zom 100’s debut hit like a freight train, especially coming from a brand new studio. It had everything: Visceral satire of Japanese work culture, incredible animation, vibrant colors in unexpected places, clever cinematography, wish fulfillment for everyone who’s ever wanted to Stone Cold their boss, and most importantly: Zombie titties.

The premise is magnetic: When your job makes you feel like a zombie, an actual zombie apocalypse means certain freedom from the grind. Akira Tendo realizes that he can finally use the vacation time he amassed while being exploited and overworked at a legally dodgy black company, so he writes a bucket list of everything he’s ever wanted to do, with all intention of checking off every single line item before succumbing to a zombie bite. He manages to rescue his hunky fuckboy bestie from college, and they embark on a road trip across Japan to finish out the list, along with a beautiful, risk-averse tsundere and a big-tiddy German weeb. 

It's a perfectly fine elevator pitch, and a welcome break from the guns-and-grit quagmire the zombie genre has been stuck in for the past two decades, but what makes any good zombie-flecked media resonate is the human element, which Zom 100 delivers expertly. You’re quickly given reason to care for all the characters, their motivations are clear and relatable, and you want to see them survive and live out their dreams. But more importantly, you just want to hang out with them through their hijinks. It even delves into more serious matters, like what we owe our parents as adults, the ways isolation and bitterness can drive people to act out in their worst moments, and even the factors that push abuse victims to stay with and even return to their abusers. 

Above all, though, it’s a powerful (if extreme) story of finding joy in the direst circumstances. Akira, Kencho, and Shizuka are all kindhearted, well-meaning people whose situations kept them from what they truly wanted to do with their lives, and there’s something kinda beautiful to be found in them finding a new opportunity during the possible end of the world (Beatrix is a sweetie too, but aside from the whole zombie thing, she’s already exactly where she wants to be). The final arc of the season, in particular, looks you dead in the eye and asks you: If you were suddenly faced with the ultimate freedom, would you use the opportunity to better yourself, improve the lives of others, or do whatever the fuck you want at everyone else’s expense? You may not like the answer at first if you’re honest with yourself, and that’s okay. The world isn’t over, and there’s still time for you to be your best self.

Zom 100, unfortunately, fell prey to a cruel irony in the form of production issues. Bug Films is a new studio made up of a former team from OLM that was responsible for similarly gorgeous projects such as Komi Can’t Communicate and Summer Time Rendering. They clearly saw so much of themselves in Akira's workplace exploitation that they had to swing for the fences here. The firm he works for is named “ZLM” in this adaptation, for fuck’s sake, and he fully destroys his zombie boss in the first episode. But new studio or old, the anime industry is a grind, and Bug had trouble keeping up; animation quality did take a bit of a dip after the stunning first episode, and episodes were frequently delayed as the summer broadcast season wore on and ended without the entire seasonal run making airwaves. Hell, it was impossible to watch the final three episodes until just a few days before I could write this sentence.

For what Bug were able to pull off, though, Zom 100 is outstanding. The paintball-colored blood splatters everywhere are an instantly-iconic look that strike the balance between horror and spectacle. Everything and everyone looks gorgeously faithful to Kotaro Takata’s art, and delivers an appropriately cinematic look that the manga always deserved. I almost don’t know what else to tell you but that this show is a fucking blast.

There’s also a zombie shark. What more could you want?

4. Oshi no Ko

I spent a good chunk of 2023 just assuming Oshi no Ko was going to be a layup for anime of the year. Shortly after moving on from Kaguya-sama, I rushed to binge Aka Akasaka's subsequent manga in time for the anime's feature-length debut. I was taken in by OnK's bonkers premise and sudden dark turn and quickly fell in love with the characters, and my anticipation only grew. I had high expectations for the screen adaptation, but nothing could have prepared me for just how lovingly it all came together. This is as close to a perfect adaptation as you can find, and the same can be said about both the preceding and following entries on this list.

Oshi no Ko is an audiovisual feast. Doga Kobo cleaned up Mengo Yokoyari’s character designs just a smidge, but put just the right flourishes on them to make every single cast member instantly iconic. One look at Kana Arima’s eyes will tell you everything you need to know about the level of care put into the visual design of this anime. The performances are on point as well; though many of the main cast members are relative newcomers to the world of seiyuu, you can tell they truly came to understand the characters before they even recorded one line. I’ve already gushed about Rie Takahashi in earlier entries, but her turn as Ai Hoshino is easily one of the best voice performances all year. Takahashi makes a meal out of every single second Ai spends on screen and gives you every reason to care about her as a character.

Showbiz manga in general is obviously missing an audio element, and when an adaptation can expand on that aspect well, it can help turn even middling source material into something transcendent (see also: Rock!, Bocchi the). Music is central to Oshi no Ko, and the OP/ED combination is already iconic; YOASOBI’s “Idol” has had the best worldwide chart performance of any Japanese song ever, and the prolonged intro to Queen Bee’s “Mephisto” became a meme in Japan in the same vein as JJBA’s iconic use of “Roundabout.�� Rather than taking manga characters’ word for it that someone is a terrible actor, we actually get to cringe along to an amateur actor’s hammy emoting. We get to see and hear what turned a fictional idol group into a national phenomenon rather than just see cute girls posing on the page. All of this is to say that while Oshi no Ko is an excellent manga, it needed a screen adaptation, and especially one of this quality.

Oshi no Ko deserves every shred of its success. I've never seen an anime make a splash this enormous with just its debut episode, even if it’s kind of cheating to say so because the first episode is almost literally a movie, and if I were to give an award for the best single episode of anime this year, it would be that one, hands down. Adapting the entire first volume into a feature-length debut was the correct move (mostly because it’s a tonal rollercoaster, and the Big Event that defines the entire story wouldn’t have happened until the fourth episode otherwise), and the investment paid dividends. The hype naturally died down a bit as the season wore on and settled into a more consistent tone and rhythm, but it remains an essential anime to 2023.

You may have noticed that I have said very little of what this show is actually about, and that’s by design: If you still don’t know the plot of Oshi no Ko’s first episode by now, I refuse to tell you: you need to go in blind. All I will say is that it is an idol anime that glorifies nothing. If you've read this far and still trust what I have to say about anime, I beg you to just take my word for it. It's an incredibly rewarding experience.

3. Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

There's just something so wonderful about taking in an adaptation of a work you’re already familiar with and knowing, almost instantaneously, that every single person working on it genuinely loved the source material and relished the opportunity to bring it to life. Nearly every single member of the original cast is in the dub (including the ones who went on to be MCU mainstays), Edgar Wright is back on as executive producer, Anamanaguchi reprise their soundtracking duties from the video game, and even Bryan Lee O’Malley himself helped co-write everything.

That last detail is probably the most important thing about this entire production: It’s not exactly a secret that the original Scott Pilgrim comics are very imperfect portrayals of a very imperfect young man. I knew reading them at the time that the comic did not have a great grasp on relationships and the dynamics between men and women, and that was at a time in my life when I myself was pretty terrible with and to women. O'Malley has said that he would only revisit Scott Pilgrim if it was “the right thing” and that he was leery of a straight retelling of a work he has since outgrown.

So instead, we have the Rebuild of Scott Pilgrim, to put it simply. Takes Off is a completely new story that reexamines the Scott Pilgrim comics, movie, and even game without undermining what came before it. This series is not a repudiation of Scott Pilgrim (the character or the franchise)’s flaws, nor is it purely fanservice; it splits the difference perfectly. It’s both more mature and completely self-indulgent. This show so easily could’ve marched to the familiar discourse drumbeat of “Scott isn’t the hero here” or “he’s actually not a good dude,” but it instead focuses on what should always be the second half of that sentence: “But Ramona still sees something in him.”

Yes, Ramona Flowers is effectively the protagonist of a new work that doesn’t even have her name on it, and it tackles some surprisingly necessary questions: What was her responsibility in creating seven evil exes in the first place? What made them evil? Are they even that evil? This series opens up entire worlds of possibilities within the extended cast and gleefully dives into them. Though Takes Off may not flesh out every single character, it does take its time with several of the ones who really did need a little more meat on their narrative bones, and even gives some characters new roles just because it would be fun to see them in new situations.

I still cannot believe they got Science Saru to make this show. “They made a Scott Pilgrim anime” and “They brought back the movie cast” are already good enough fodder for that Vince McMahon meme, but “It’s produced by the motherfuckers who made Devilman Crybaby” had me falling out of my chair. The animation maintains O'Malley's chunky, cartoony character designs and works wonders with line weights and simulated camera effects to give everything a tactile, weighty feel, like it’s somehow (and very appropriately) splitting the difference between a comic, a film, and even a video game. There’s a wide array of visual effects that helps to place all of Scott Pilgrim’s influences further on its sleeve: Dynamic action scenes, camera depth and chromatic aberration, and our beloved pixel art inserts. It looks like every Scott Pilgrim, everywhere, all at once.

The live action film’s cast did a (mostly) great job reprising their roles for animation, and there are some wildly unexpected cameos in there. Voice acting is not quite the same as stage or film acting, but everyone pulls their weight, and dialogue feels far more naturalistic than your average anime dub. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ellen Wong and, surprisingly, Chris Evans are outstanding in their respective roles. I’m gonna have to watch this again in Japanese, though. Fairouz Ai as Ramona, Aoi Koga as Knives, and Yuichi Nakamura as Lucas Lee? Sign me the fuck up.

This is not an apology or revision of Scott Pilgrim the character or work, it is a celebration that still acknowledges and improves on the flaws. If you’re a Scott Pilgrim fan who’d been clamoring for a proper cartoon adaptation, Takes Off may not exactly be what you’ve wanted, but it may be what you needed.  Chances are pretty good that you’ve grown since the first time since you read, watched, or even played something with Scott Pilgrim’s name on it, and it’s a blessing to say that while the character may not have grown, Scott Pilgrim the franchise finally has. 

2. Jujutsu Kaisen, season 2

I’m so glad I picked up JJK this year, if only because I would’ve otherwise been caught in a mudslide of memes I didn’t understand.

Season 2 follows in lockstep with the manga from where season 1 left off, beginning in extended flashback with the Hidden Inventory/Premature Death arc, covering Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto’s high school life and the events that would eventually create the rift between them that came to shape Jujutsu Kaisen’s story. We see very different versions of Gojo and Geto here, much younger and more naive, but only marginally less powerful as they’re sent on an escort mission with the future of the jujutsu world in the balance. Because this is Jujutsu Kaisen, and because Jujutsu Kaisen is for masochists, nothing happens as planned.

We unfortunately do not get the precious slice-of-life hijinks the OP suggests, but if you watched season 1, you should know better by now than to trust an OP. While the initial arc does have its quieter and goofier moments (and some delicious homoerotic subtext), it wastes little time in declaring that this is a new version of the Jujutsu Kaisen anime: Lines are thinner, character models are looser, and action is buckwild. Two of the best fakeouts in the series happen in the span of five minutes. Those unfamiliar with the source material may have wondered for a bit why there needed to be a five-episode prequel arc to start the season, but the pieces would soon fall into place.

And then came Shibuya.

The Shibuya Incident arc was what made Jujutsu Kaisen a must-read in every new issue of Shonen Jump. It reset the status quo for the story and shaped it into something far beyond another “teenagers with special powers go to a school for teenagers with special powers” battle shonen. Needless to say, the hype for its anime adaptation was astronomical.

The Shibuya arc sets the stakes early: Nobody is safe and there may be no happy ending. Triumph is short-lived, and every threat is existential. Everyone who has been in the series up to this point plays a role, and you’re not going to like a lot of what’s needed of them. This arc punches you in the gut, repeatedly, and in between each blow is some of the most intense and innovative action you’ve ever seen. It will hurt, and you will beg for more.

I liked this arc a good amount in the manga, but by the end I was ready for it to be over. I didn’t get the hype around Toji, thought the deaths were cheap, and was so. FUCKING. sick of Mahito. Seeing it in fluid motion onscreen, though, everything just clicked for me and I couldn’t get enough. I fully get now why the girlies have been wetting themselves over Toji; the character modelers were HORNY horny this season. I see now how even the most unceremonious deaths fit into the narrative, or at least one will make perfect sense to me once Gege Akutami and I have a little chat :). And holy hell do I understand now that Mahito is one of the best shonen villains in the history of the medium, that sick bastard. Season 2 was my Rosetta stone for Jujutsu Kaisen; I see it all now. My sixth eye has been opened. Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the literate one.

JJK’s second season has a markedly different feel from the first from a presentation standpoint, and I feel it’s for the better. Every aspect of the presentation is on point, and I want to call attention to the audio element: The production music, with a heavy focus on jazz piano, is wonderfully unique for the genre, and the voice acting remains top notch. These are banner performances from the likes of Yuichi Nakamura, Kenjiro Tsuda, Takahiro Sakurai, Asami Seto, and Nobunaga Shimazaki, but the performance that defines the Shibuya arc (and by extension the entire season) is Junya Enoki as Yuji Itadori. 

Enoki’s been great this year in lead roles in goofy works like KamiKatsu and Girlfriend Girlfriend (not to mention minor roles in Skip and Loafer and the vending machine isekai), so it’s no surprise that he continues to crush it as JJK’s protagonist; Yuji Itadori is a goofy dude. But the Shibuya arc, for as much ground and as many characters as it covers, is ultimately Yuji’s story as he is forced, time and again, to endure the cycle of the “suffering builds character” meme. His peers and mentors in the first season told him repeatedly that the life of a jujutsu sorcerer is a short and unhappy one, and he now has to shoulder that burden for everyone. Enoki nails every single part of a wide spectrum of emotions Yuji is forced to endure over the course of the Shibuya arc, be it determination, naive confusion, or just pure unbridled trauma. If this isn’t the best voice performance of the year, it’s top five at worst.

Like every major battle shonen release in the age of social media, this season has had its detractors. Reviewers at Anime News Network kinda hated the story, but that’s something you take up with Gege Akutami (and get in line behind the manga readers). I've seen people complain about the animation. Which, like. If you don’t like the new visual style, sure, fine, that’s up to personal taste. But if you think this season isn’t well-animated, you just plain don’t know ball. It may not have a cohesive look, but that was the draw for me: Season 1 was good, but at times I felt like it looked a little too rigid, a little too shiny, a little too samey. Season 2, especially the Shibuya arc, looks like everything. Sometimes it looks like an action film, sometimes it looks like Mob Psycho 100, and at points it looks, most crucially, like Akutami’s most iconic panels brought to life, stroke for stroke.

The varying styles weren’t an accident: Nearly each episode had its own director, and those resumes cover top-tier animations like Mob Psycho, Devilman Crybaby, Kill la Kill, Heavenly Delusion, Oshi no Ko, FLCL, even Akira and goddamn Golden Boy. While the episodes don’t look entirely consistent from one to the next, the variance is less jarring and more “holy fuck, what am I going to see next?”. The looser style of animation is what Jujutsu Kaisen always needed; Akutami’s art is very loose and dynamic, and his action panels are borderline inscrutable at times. Season 2 nails the feel of JJK to a degree that its adaptation always needed and lets its directors, storyboarders, and animators run wild. At times, characters will look like they leapt right off the page; others, they will look like something you have never seen before in your life.

It is unfortunately impossible to talk about this season without also bringing up MAPPA’s working conditions, and how animators were frequently overworked against nigh-impossible deadlines. It was an open secret last year as Chainsaw Man aired that MAPPA’s animation schedule was a meat grinder, but that came bubbling to the surface quickly as JJK’s second season aired. Word got out midseason that MAPPA had its animators sign NDAs about their work conditions, but complaints still broke containment and several staffers took to social media to apologize for their work looking incomplete, and some even publicly announced that they are leaving the studio. It is stunning that the finished product looks the way it does under such conditions, and I respect the animators for putting in such incredible work, but something has to give. Several major series suffered from major delays this year, some of which I gave significant praise, but MAPPA is lucky that all of JJK came out on time. I wish I knew what could push them to treat their workers with the dignity and respect (and pay) they deserve, but that’s a conversation that covers much wider ground than just anime.

MAPPA has already announced that the series will continue through the next major arc. While there is quite a bit of it that I would love to see on screen, I can only hope that the animators get to rest. For now, though, we can be proud of what they made under duress, even if some will forever wonder what it would look like if the staff were treated like something a notch above cattle.

1. Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Fucking hell. This is why I watch anime.

I was curious about this one because a couple major anitubers I watch had reviewed the manga and were effusive in their praise. I knew the anime adaptation was on the way, so I decided to hold off on reading and see what the anime would be like, and with Keiichiro Saito (director of Bocchi the Rock! and key animator for Oshi no Ko’s instantly-iconic OP) at the helm, my excitement was piqued. That guy turned a B-minus 4-koma into an innovative hit comedy, so what can he do with a beloved source material and the backing of a legacy studio like Madhouse?

I've had so much to say about Frieren since the premiere, and I still have so much to say now, but to talk about what I love about this show is to talk about everything about this show. When the first four episodes dropped, I described it as “Mushoku Tensei without the baggage,” and I stand by that. There were multiple points throughout Frieren’s first cour where I'd nearly forgotten that I wasn't watching Mushoku Tensei. Every single element is on point: The animation is fluid and expressive, backdrops are consistently gorgeous, voice performances are quickly memorable, and the music is evocative and instantly iconic. This is, plainly, one of the most beautiful pieces of television I have ever seen on nearly every level, be it visually, sonically, or thematically.

The initial four-episode debut was a masterclass in establishing the setting, building emotional investment into the characters, and slowly but deliberately laying out the premise of the season to come. The titular Frieren is an elf mage who, for a very brief decade of her millennium-long life, lent her skills to an adventuring party to slay the Demon King. Though she helped save the world, she was never one for stuff like adulation or socializing, so she breaks away from the group to continue her hobby of collecting various spells and arcana. She regroups with them after 50 years, having kept in contact with none of them, only to find them older and frailer. The party’s leader, the hero Himmel, passes away shortly thereafter, and Frieren breaks down at his funeral, having realized exactly too late how important he was to her and that she’d never really bothered to get to know him as a person.

Some time later, she’s called by the surviving human member of the party, Heiter, under the guise of translating an old text, but soon realizes that he duped her into helping train the young orphan girl he adopted, Fern, as a mage. Upon Heiter’s death, Frieren and Fern head out together, carrying out odd jobs and retracing Frieren’s steps from the journey that changed her more than she realized. They soon learn from the other surviving member of the party, Eisen, that (ooh) heaven is, in fact, a place on earth, and that Frieren may be able to properly pay Himmel his final respects in person. In order to do so, they must make a trip to the north, past the Demon King’s castle. The story of Beyond Journey’s End is, quite literally, a nostalgia trip.

Frieren's story is one of grief and regret, but also how we can use those emotions as a way of moving forward rather than looking backward. Her history is a long one and her memories seemingly everlasting, but she uses them to pave the road ahead of her rather than let them shackle her to the past. This is best exemplified by Fern herself, as well as the other companion they pick up along the way in Eisen’s former trainee, Stark. Frieren can carry on the legacies of Heiter and Eisen by helping their young wards grow into the capable young adults they’re meant to be, while Himmel’s legacy lives on in the memories of the towns and villages he helped save along Frieren’s new path, and most importantly, in Frieren herself.

The degree to which Himmel truly mattered to Frieren becomes more apparent to her as the story goes on, and it becomes more evident in her actions. Himmel was a gentle, selfless (if self-aggrandizing) man who was every last bit the hero the modern world believes him to be. With every statue of him she cleans, every flower she plants in his name, every core memory that returns to her, we are watching Frieren become more and more like him in real time. You would expect a thousand-year-old woman to be pretty set in her ways, but we see her holding off on old, bad behaviors because of how Himmel would react to them back then. As Fern and Stark grow into young adults, we see her beginning to treat them the same way Himmel treated her. Frieren doesn’t realize it until later in the season, but it’s apparent to us early on that Himmel well and truly loved her, and I feel that it’s dawning on her that she loved him too and didn’t recognize it. That is tragic in and of itself (this show absolutely is a tearjerker at times and I will cop to getting misty-eyed as I write this), but there is something beautiful, well beyond my grasp, in being able to honor the memory and carry out the legacy of a loved one in how you treat those around you. I don’t think anything could have made Himmel prouder.

Frieren herself is a really goddamn good character too (and expertly voiced by Atsumi Tanezaki, best known for voicing Anya Forger in Spy x Family). Though she is portrayed as quiet and uncaring for the early part of the story, it’s been really delightful to watch her open up, and above all, inadvertently reveal that she’s actually just Really Fucking Weird. For as self-assured and put together as she always seems on the surface, it was great to learn that she’s just an enormous slob (she just like me fr), and any outward expressions of smugness or her offbeat sense of humor are always a joy. “Deeply weird person trying to act normal” is always fun, and there’s just something so consistently delightful about seeing someone so typically calm and intelligent get caught in a mimic chest every single time.

I still can’t get over how fucking good this show looks. Beyond Journey’s End features some of the most intricate, loving animation I’ve seen for stuff as simple as someone putting on a jacket. Action scenes are few and far between, but not a single frame is wasted when shit pops off. Not everyone is as detailed as possible at all times, and they don’t need to be, but everyone looks incredible when they do need to. It’s well above my pay grade to accurately say so, but this show could be a lesson in proper animation budgeting. I could go on and on and on, but I’ve written nearly eighteen thousand words about anime, so I’ll wrap it up. 

The debut season of Frieren will continue into 2024, and if the quality remains a constant, it could very well be one of the best anime of next year too. It has remained as MyAnimeList’s top-rated anime ever for its entire run, warding off the legion of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood fans. Frieren deserves it. I say with no hyperbole that this is one of the most perfectly realized things I’ve ever seen on television. This is an essential watch for anyone who likes fantasy anime, anime in general, or fantasy in general.

[alpaca-clouds]

The Lies We Are Taught In School

Talking about science this week, let me talk about the thing that irks me more than anything: The fact that we get taught so many lies in school. Both in regards to science, and in regards to stuff like history. Like, holy fuck. Why do we get taught that much garbage?

If you google "Lies we got taught in school", you will find an endless amount of listicles going over a variety of lies.

A lot of people in America will of course know that the version of American history they get taught in school is very "clean". Be it their version of how Thanksgiving came to be ("And then the indigenous people and settlers got along just fine"), how the entire story of Matoaka/Pocahontas happened ("And then everyone just got along and no 12yo girls got raped"), or how the Civil War went ("And then slavery was ended and everyone had equal rights, yay").

Another thing that school keeps telling us is the thing I mentioned yesterday: IQ. IQ is not real. At least not as any measure of intelligence. All IQ tests will test is, how good you are at taking IQ tests.

Or one that I found in so many listicles: The food pyramid. The food pyramid is a great example of a thing that a lot of people believe, that is not based on science, but fully on propaganda by an industry. And yet... It is very common in the US - and almost as common in Europe. At least I learned about it in primary school, and never learned a correction of it until I entered university.

Or getting back to history: A lot of history classes teach so much bullshit when it comes to medieval history and how people in medieval times lived. They will act as if the medieval world was just one thing, rather than many things. Oh, and a lot of schools place the witch burnings into the middle ages - even though they all happened AFTER the middle ages.

Or something quite relevant to trans folks: Schools very much teach that there are only two genders and sexes, and that those usually are based on the chromosomes. Even though intersex people exist and might be a lot more common than we actually realize, given that most people are never tested for intersex conditions. And since we know that other than what was long assumed (the supposed fact that almost all intersex people were infertile) is wrong... Yeah, some scientist argue that intersex is a lot more common than assumed. So even from the very biological aspect - without going into gender - it is quite wrong.

The list really could go on and on.

And mind you, some of those myths (especially in regards to history) are so prevailant, that folks who even go to universities and study ajacent stuff will still be believed. I still remember: Two years ago I talked in a historical podcast about the witch hunts, how they happened after the medieval period, how they looked different in different countries, how they did not happen everywhere in Europe, and how they not always were going for women. Mind you, we linked the historical sources under the podcast... And yet, someone I know, who studied history (though with their main focus on Victorian England) went on a long rant how that was all wrong. Was she able to come up with counter sources for her claims? No, obviously not. But she kept insisting even months later.

In general the entirety of all those lies taught in school usually go back to one of three reasons for those lies.

Propaganda. There are quite a few lies in school - especially in regards to history - that are propaganda. Especially when it comes to the sanitizing colonial history. Stuff like how settlers and indigenous people got along fine. How Lincoln ended slavery. Or for us in Germany, how we totally never really were ever involved in any colonialism whatsoever. That is all propaganda. Even stuff like the medieval prejudices are based on the propaganda that history only ever moves forward. The food pyramid also belongs to this.

Ancient material. This is probably the most common reason. See, a lot of material in school is just outdated by decades. At times because the curriculi have not been updated in decades - at times because the people updating them are actually not professionals in those fields, hence basing their ideas mostly on what they learned in school 40 years ago.

Simplification because kids "won't understand it otherwise". A lot of stuff in school gets dumbed down in comparison what you learn in university, because a) not everyone needs to know it (they say), and b) kids cannot understand it (they say). This is true for a lot of stuff in the science classes. Stuff like "only two sexes", "only five senses", "only three states of matter" is mostly based on this.

But honestly... While the first two reasons are bad either way (propaganda does not belong in schools, and schools should work with modern material), some people might think the last reason is somewhat understandable. But honestly... It is not. Because kids are actually not stupid.

It is one thing to not teach everything and leave out stuff. Otherwise we would not need universities. But... Lying to kids? Yeah, that is not good. It is not a good thing to begin with. And really, why do we keep doing that?

[takeachillpillshawty]

No, some people do shit on Vil. I like to think there's a spectrum when it comes to Vil haters and Vil lovers.

Vil haters will demonize Vil and call him racist because he 'hates' Epel's accent, when that's not even true! He hates how crude and inappropriate he talks to others, you forget that Rook speaks French in some of his dialogues? Vil doesn't even bat an eye making the whole Vil is racist thing completely ridiculous and meaningless.

'Vil is abuse towards Epel!' Epel literally tried to pick a fight first and y'all are mad he actually got hurt? What did you want Vil to do? Stand there and take it? You all make jokes about Riddle getting his shit rocked by Ace because he was a little shit, but mad at Vil for doing the same to Epel? Vil doesn't go out of his way to abuse Epel, the fuck?! And I'm not saying that Epel is a terrible person nor a saint, we can have characters who are both flawed and still like them.

I see Vil as the type of mom you think is an asshole but when you get older you realize she was trying he best to raise you when you were a difficult child. I do agree that Vil has flaws that he needs to work on, the thing some people can't comprehend is that Vil will admit that he's wrong. Vil isn't self centered or some snobby rich dude, he strives to be a better person for himself and others that includes admitting he's wrong and bettering himself. He wants everyone in his dorm to be a better version of themselves and in one of his birthday cards it stated that while in his club he learned more about what goes on behind the scenes of movies because of his club member's help.

Vil, who is an actor appreciated the help of his fellow club mates for teaching him more about what goes on behind his profession. And I can't fully go in more dept because I'm an English twst user, and unfortunately some of the dialogue is either wrongfully translated or censored because Disney can't handle the queer themes of his character despite most of their Disney villains being QUEER CODED due to the Haze code back in the day. I'm seeing that people love to bring up the 'him trying to kill Neige' situation with his overblot, and I have to admit... Mans was genuinely tweaking, not gonna lie.... But you have to understand that Vil literally spent his life perfecting his acting skills despite his villainous roles he's given. He still held his head high despite it all, only for Neige to step in and steal that role of the hero. How would it feel to spend years at something that gave you an identity, the only thing that you're good at only to be out shined by a person who never felt the struggle of requiring that talent. I'm not saying Vil had every right to do what he did, but damn I understand why he did it.

Now onto Vil lovers, like I said it a spectrum. We have the Vil lovers who like myself can see his flaws and can agree that Vil has some issues but can see that he's a good person despite it all....then we have the Vil fans who hate and demonize Neige.

I can't understand why we can't have both, you also know you can like both characters without putting down or demonizing one over the other. I think that Neige is another version of Kalim honestly and I think he's a really sweet guy, but come on... You guys are just making stuff up to excuse Vil almost killing him which again I say, we can admit Vil was fucked for that but blaming something on Neige that he didn't even know happened is crazy. It's not Neige's fault that Vil hates him but the circumstances in their lives that put them to where they are now. Neige didn't ask to be famous, hell he didn't asked to be an actor he needed the money to have a better living situation for himself and his friends.

This has now become a Vil rant and I don't care, I love this man so much.

[wilcze-kudly]

Dark Avatar Ozai, aka, Ozaatu:

Vaatu orchestrates the 100-year war through Sozin, the tree of time, the swamp tree, and the summer solstice. He also manipulates Iroh's spiritually attuned mother, Ilah, into getting free, by him fusing with Ilah's astral form and warping back into her body. This resulted in Vaatu's power temporarily depleting and being reborn in a human form that's given the name Ozai. Kinda like how Tui and La were reborn as mortal coy fish and how Tienhai took the form of a human after falling in love with a young prince.

Aang's year is the 10,000th year and Harmonic Convergence arrives at the finale of ATLA Book 4: Air. Ozaatu battles the Lion Turtle instead of Aang during Sozin's Comet and Ozaatu wins by consuming the last Lion Turtle's soul, gaining its abilities.

As the avatar embodies balance and all the positive aspects of bending, elements, nations, humans, and spirits, the dark avatar will, naturally, embody all the negative aspects and extreme versions of bending/elements/nations/humans/spirits. (Think Ozaatu as basically a combination of Vaatu, Sozin, Azulon, Ozai, Amon, Unalaq, Zaheer, Kuvira, and an evil lion turtle.) The dark avatar achieves this status through the polar opposite means of how the light avatar does it and in the reversed order of the avatar cycle.

By the time becomes a fully realized master dark avatar, Ozaatu will be an immortal who can rapidly heal at a nigh-limitless level, in contrast to the light avatar being able to only reincarnate.

While the light avatar will have the strongest bond with and reliance on various team avatars, the dark avatar will be the superior archenemy to said various team avatars, an independent one-man team avatar, and view his own allies as disposable pawns.

Vaatu's endgame plan is to destroy Raava and to also slowly drain and absorb Raava's natural regeneration and powers and combine them with his own for 10,000 years. Aang and Azula's counterplan is to use spiritbending and energybending to purify Vaatu and have Raava absorb Vaatu's regeneration and powers immediately, saving all of existence and restoring true balance in the process, even if Aang loses his connection to his past lives forever.

Thoughts on all of this?

Oh wow that is an in-depth snd interesting AU for sure.

I do find the idea of Vaatu being somehow included in the 100 year war or being reborn in a mortal form intriguing, but I also don't really think Vaatu would willingly tie himself so much to a human.

Vaatu despises humans as a rule, and you could easily make the argument that the only reason he fused with Unalaq is because he had no other choice, really.

But I'm also not sure Vaatu would be that willing to ally himself qith the Fire Nation. Sure, they cause destruction, something he apparently feeds off, but the Fire Nation clearly had no qualms desercrating Spiritual areas, like Hei Bai's forest. This may pose a moral conondrum for Vaatu, whose influence appears very strongly when Spiritual Areas are disturbed, certain Spirits turning to their darker form even after Vaatu's defeat.

Vaatu is not the Spirit of Evil, he is the Spirit of Chaos and Darkness, neither of these qualities being purely evil. Similarly, Raava is not the Spirit of Good or Order, she is the Spirit of Peace and Light.

These seem like semantics, but it actually implies that true Balance in the world cannot be achieved with one of these Spirits absent. Vaatu and Raava are both important in their own right, even if Vaatu is a smug rat bastard

It would actually be an interesting storyline to see Aang go down, and see how he would deal with Vaatu. I think he could get down with the Chaos point for sure, being a nomad, traveller and somwone who doesn't value routine or order that much.

I was going to say that Aang wouldn't be down for the whole "darker urges" and destruction thing, but then I remembered the abject glee on his fave as he destroyed a factory so I think he could be homies with Vaatu who knows.

I also think that presenting Dark Avatar Ozai as a mish mash of all the villains of the franchise is a bit of a sisiphian task, since they are, particularly Korra's villains, very varied in ideologies and personality.

The issue with blending Ozai and Vaatu is that Ozai is a character who is less nuanced, at least in the text. (Azula takes the role of nuanced main antag) While tlok villains like Vaatu have their... clumsily executed shades of gray.

If we had to consider an AU of Vaatu and the Fire Nation teaming up, I'd rather go the Unalaq esque route of the Fire Nation trying to use Vaatu as a weapon. Canonically, we already had Zhao reasearching Tui and La, why not just have him find texts on Raava and Vaatu, and bring this news to the firelord.

Then you could have a B plot of Ozai trying to get to Vaatu and coerce him into merging with him or smth. Especially if you comtrast these scenes with Aang's more gentle approach to spirits, you can create some nice foiling.

So um. My thoughts in the end are: Intriguing idea. Cool concept. Needs a tad more nuancw when it comes to Vaatu, and I think you may be trying to cover too much ground with one single antagonist. 7.5/10

[gamerbearmira]

More resident evil 8 Au! I don't think I will ever run out of things to talk about for this AU!

First I'm glad you like my idea for julieta's mutation and I 100% agree that Miranda was trying to get rid of Alma's voice but she didn't directly go for her voice box she was just kind of hoping that it would be a side effect of the experiment so it didn't happen.

The Dimitrescu family does need to chill. They try their best but given their mutation and what I feel like is an ingrained primal/animalistic instincts they have a very hard time reeling in their emotions and with self-control in general. They've gotten a lot better over the years but it is something they still struggle with.

I just realized that we haven't got the families opinion on the other Lords or their first interaction with them besides the Dimitrescu family. As you know with Alcina and her family things were very tense and it took them a little while to be able to get along with each other but they managed The family doesn't have very high opinion of them because of their diet and their overall attitude but they are grateful for the fact that they took Mirabel in and took care of her when she was young. None of them like Monroe mostly because of the smell and the disgust that they feel being near him but also because of the fact that he is constantly trying to trick them into doing things to help him look better in the eyes of Miranda. All of them were creeped out by Donna at first, most of them still are, but Donna and Isabela built an odd little friendship over their special interest in gardening/plants. None of them like karl because of his abrasiveness and the attitude that he takes with Mirabel Plus the fact that his solution to the Miranda problem is to experiment on people and create these horrible monsters although camilo does like/appreciates the chaos that karl brings to certain things.

I feel like when Ethan is in Mirabel's creepy Casita he could go to different sections of the house and find different things. Like when his in the kitchen which is Julieta's area he could find healing items that would randomly regenerate more and could probably buy cheaper food items from Julieta, for weapons and ammo I'm torn about who he could get that from I feel like Luisa would be a good person to get that from because of how much she wants to protect her family. But I also feel like Pepa and Felix would be a better choice because in this Au they go crazy protective over the family plus I just get that type of vibe from them better than I do Luisa because at the end of the day Luisa is a cinnamon-roll sweetheart and I can't really imagine her hurting anyone or dealing with weapons.

Yes Ethan lives! I don't trust the B.S.A.A especially after seeing how they treat Rose. She literally didn't have a childhood in their care, and they were going to shoot her because she had a very reasonable reaction to what that one guard dude said, plus the fact the guy even felt comfortable to say something like that to her when she's visiting her father's grave is just gross. In my version The Madrigal family goes back to their encanto with Ethan and Rose, it's the place they all love and they all miss it very much, There are a couple villagers that are still alive and remember the family but not that many. Casita is still standing. Nobody lives inside because Casita refuses to allow anybody to live in her pushing away anyone who tries to get inside. When they get to Casita they were all basically pushed inside Casita was so happy to see them again! Casita had added a room for Mirabel while they were gone, the family doesn't know why or when. They make Ethan a house near Casita so he can have his own privacy and raise Rose the way he wants to. They of course help him whenever he needs it and spend a lot of time with him and Rose!

But I've been thinking. By the time Ethan happens Mirabel would be fully grown and would have been fully grown for a while before Ethan/Rose happens (all the Lords/experiments seem to stop aging after they reach adulthood) and with how much Miranda likes to experiment do you think it's possible that in between that time Miranda would try and experiment on Mirabel to create a vessel for Eva? In this Au Mirabel is considered the favorite and Miranda does have an unhealthy obsession with her so I wouldn't put it past her to try it but I don't know I would really like your opinion on that.

Any art you would like to make is always appreciated!

PLEASE DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I LOVE IT❗❗ Honestly, Resident Evil by far like my favorite Video Game Media, and in the top five of my favorite media of all time 😭😭 like if you want my attention just mention resident evil

ANYWAYYYYY yeah, I think it's cool for Julieta <333 makes me also think that since her hands leak mold and infect the food, if someone did eat it to heal, it would more effectively heal people who had some form of black mold or any mutation like that; an idea, maybe Ethan, if he goes to her kitchen for healing items, he can take food (if she offers it to him), and he can use it to help regenerate or repair stuff; it can’t regenerate whole limbs though, not unless he has them, hence why Ethan is still missing fingers <\3333 And anyone without mold or mutations have to eat more in order to heal properly. Or maybe ut doesn't heal at all. Idk 🌚

The opinions are so real 😭😭 like I can see why they don’t like Karl (and even Camilo probably only barely tolerates him), and Moreau, for obvious reasons is disliked. Like I know bro is a victim, all of them are, but he SO manipulative it’s not even funny, and he’s just trying to make himself look better in the end. Alcina and the daughters…yeah. By far, if they had to choose one for Mirabel to be around, they prefer Donna, like yeah, she’s creepy, and yeah her weird dolls are creepy, but she’s otherwise pretty chill, and Angie is really just a vessel for her to speak through. I like how Donna and Isa bond over gardening, that’s cool <333

ALSO ETHAN IN CASITA 💪💪💪 he finds the house and family creepy at first, but honestly, with how much he’s been through, he gets over it when he realizes that they only want to help him. Him raiding Julieta's kitchen is so funny, and like she doesn’t care 💀 also I think Pepa and Félix fit for weapons; maybe Luisa can still have a role, since she’s still strong, she can and will defend herself, especially against Lycans. If she’s not at Casita, she will roam the villages and knows her way around, so maybe Ethan can go to Luisa when he needs to know where to go next or where to find certain items (not the flasks though)??

AND THE B.S.A.A…I haven’t watched gameplay of the Rose DLC yet (I need to lmao), so I was going off the B.S.A.A in previous games like 3/5/6. I’m glad they went back to the encanto, and I’m glad Casita is still standing and was so excited that the family came back 🦈🦈 The Madriagls pretty regularly check on the Winters. No Mia. We don’t talk about Mia 👹👹

As for Miranda trying that, yeah, I think so too. Even with her, and the family getting older, Miranda still treats her like a child, like her child. Arguably, her obsession gets worse, and it affects her both Mirabel and even her family to some extent. Mirabel wants to be herself and live as herself, but Miranda essentially ends up viewing her as nothing but a vessel for her daughter, and treats her as such. She either treats her as she would Eva, or she would treat her like the experiment Miranda will ultimately try and turn her into. Mirabel fully believes she won’t fail this time. She refuses to listen to Mirabel, much less her family.

Mirabel might even be a little happy Miranda doesn't really like her family, becayse at least that way, her family is safe from Miranda's obsession with getting her daughter back. Miranda tolerates them but you know. She's not above brutality and LITERAL ASSAULT AND MURDER 🌚)

ALSO ART❗❗ so fun to draw. Honestly, I'll draw a lot for this au 🤭🤭 LIKE...its insane. I had this idea, but it doesn't work with the timeline of RE8 and Encanto 😭 Anyway, I want to do a snippet, so if you have any ideas or more lore 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️