#and you expect them to stop at the top?
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"we worship you! want to help you! we made something to help you win the war!"
'we stand beside you. we made a weapon that can do something that you cannot do.'
#critical role#critical role downfall#critical role spoilers#gotta love dem wizard hubris#they dont see themselves as mere followers#they see themselves as equal to the gods#also one city of wizards that has hubris cranked up to the max created a weapon that can destroy the entities at the top of the food chain#and you expect them to stop at the top?#besties if they can use it on a god they can very well also decimate the citizens of exandria#even if it isn't with the factorum malleus#they have the knowhow to destroy divinity#mortality would be far easier than that#the intentions of the circle of primes may be awesome at first glance but man it is loaded
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A Scene for a Scene: Kieta Hatsukoi Episode 1 (2021, Japan) ♥ My Love Mix-Up! Episode 1 (2024, Thailand)
#kieta hatsukoi#my love mix up#my love mix up th#mlmuedit#boyslovesource#asianlgbtqdramas#my gifs#my edits#mine: kieta hatsukoi#mine: my love mix up#mine: kh4mlmu#semiregular reminder: if u don't like then don't reblog :)#i'm ok with getting 0 notes if that's the case plsss#spend literal hours making your own gifsets to hate on it <3#spiderman has 5000 adaptations and nobody's out here saying u can't love toby if u love tom#i enjoyed kh. i enjoy mlmu. are either of them the most groundbreaking thing in history? not for me personally#they're both very silly very over the top shows i'm sorry to break it to anyone#that's not to detract from anyone who adores kh. that's 100% completely valid you are allowed to stan and stan hard#but stop expecting kh when ur watchin mlmu lads it's an adaptation from a manga not a remake of a live action#hhhhhhhhhanyway breathing out i just think the little parallels are cute.#you can see the differences in interpretation and i love it#anyway i can't figure out if i fixed my mlmu colouring or made it worse :v
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I can’t even lie over time this pathetic little elf has grown on me and now I really like her as a character. she’s SUCH a loser. and someone said that she should’ve been recruitable instead of Halsin after uncovering the Shadow Druid plot and she could’ve had a redemption arc and now I can’t stop thinking about that alternate reality
#i have no idea if it’s a controversial opinion to like Kagha or not but#like imagine if she was sent away from the Grove. not banished but temporarily sent away to think about her actions#Halsin says she can return to the circle after she’s rediscovered the oak father’s teachings etc etc#so she can join up with you in act 1 and you get a druid then and not 2 in act 2 randomly#maybe she travels with you to find redemption. you were the one who pulled her from the brink so she thinks travelling with you#will help her do some good in this world#she can have a tense reunion with the tieflings in act 2 and she apologises. some forgive her. others don’t as is their right#and she tries so hard to redeem herself but she learns that sometimes people are still hurt by your deeds and they might not forgive you#I think it’s talking to Arabella that actually gives her growth#maybe it’s Kagha who’s involved in Arabella’s powers and her learning to tame them. Arabella who has reason of all to hate her#and it takes a while and some conversation and working together but I think Arabella forgives Kagha#she doesn’t have to and Kagha never expected forgiveness from her but she DOES and that’s what gets Kagha the most#she has a big introspective act 2 moment in the middle of the Shadow Curse#regardless she is first to suggest rescuing the tieflings from moonrise. not because she wants forgiveness but because it’s right#(to show her character growth and learning to care about the refugees)#and then her quest could tie into the Shadow Curse. she wants to do better and help people#and eventually the other tieflings start to come round to her. once she’s proved she’s actively bettering herself#the kids find her funny and Mattis definitely thinks she’s a loser and not scary or mean#like okay lady sure I forgive you whatever stop crying now#Mirkon is just a little sweetie so he forgives her as long as Arabella does and then he follows her around asking loads of questions#anyway sorry those are my thoughts I think it’d be great to have a redemption arc companion in act 1#bc Minthara is so missable if you don’t know to knock her out you just kill her#Kagha’s story would help indicate that there are hidden companions you can look out for#most of this is nonsense im so sleepy but will I stop rambling? no#also Minthara should top the hell out of this pathetic surface elf right now
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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Amphibiuary Days 11 + 15: Painted and 3D
A holdable friend
#amphibiuary2023#hoo boy I put this one off for so long because I started it and was like#ehhhh this is not as fun as I was expecting lol#still had fun! just not my favorite thing to do#which is a good thing!#because I bought this at work a few years (!) ago and I keep having to stop myself from buying more ceramaic figures#every time we get more in because they are SO CUTE but I DON'T NEED THEM#and I think actually painting this one has cured me of that desire lol#this is a flattering angle and doesn't show his flaws lol#I put some of that snow texture paint on the back intending it to look like toad skin but it looks more like he is diseased#also! he lights up! but! when you turn the light on you can see all the poorly done brush strokes D: so the light will stay off :)#oh shoot I just remembered I meant to do a gloss top coat oh well I'll get to that later have a matte frogge
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My brain nonstop since watching episode 2:
*RUN* angelic choir singing as we pan up Izzy's missing leg and then his body. As we see him holding the gun *RUN* Izzy looks sad, wet, sick, and PISSED, betraying Edward for good this time*RUN* Zoom in on Izzy's face, the mark of his failed attempt dripping in the rain *RUN* Pan to Ed, laughing like a maniac, relieved, and scared, as he realizes that Izzy didn't die. So him killing himself like this would kill all the people left in his life. That he's put the ship in danger for no reason.*RUN*
youtube
(Spotify is SO LUCKY my top Songs of the Year reset October, this fucker would be top 50 AT LEAST)
#izzy hands#ofmd s2#edward teach#ofmd season 2#con o'neill#israel hands#It's not my fault one of my ships became canon in the most roundabout way following a path I did expect (Izzy confessing Ed ignoring it)#I love that Izzy brushed his own confession aside and didn't expect anything in return. He felt his life was over. It was.#so he dedicated himself to protecting his crew. He could have shot himself again. But he chose to TRY to save them#I love that they survived the storm somehow AND they were still not done. Clearly starving and catching any bird they could just to eat.#GOD I fucking love ep 2 and how it shows the problems in Ed and Izzy's relationship#It's so fucking broken. The love each other AND they can't stop hurting each other (though it's 90% Ed hurting Izzy right now)#My favorite scene so far(close tie with the EdIzzy scene before Izzy's attempt). I know Con will top it. BUT DAMN#ofmd s2 ep 2#Con O'Neill you are an amazing actor and I hope all the fuckers who want Izzy dead can at least acknowledge that#Youtube
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🎤 - An audio transcript from a recording
[ ARKHAM TAPES: patient 0158, barton mathis. FOR STAFF USE ONLY. ]
contains potentially triggering content such as child abuse, heavy violence, and overall disturbing content.
[ the only thing that can be heard in the beginning of the recording is the faint murmur of a man's voice — the volume is very low, and yet, you can just hear the southern twang in his voice as clear as day. the sound of the recording device scrapping against something loudly is what resounded through the audio next. then, it stopped, and the volume is much better as it seems whoever was using it fixed it. from there, a man who seemingly goes by the name DOCTOR BOWMAN begins speaking to someone across from him.
❝ alright. this is session number 3 with my patient, known as barton mathis, and the date is 3/12/2015; for records, this is doctor bowman. is it alright if i record our conversation? ❞ the southern twang the doctor had is more pronounced than ever now, and it made the slight hum that came from somewhere across from him in response to this seem a lot quieter than it actually was. the hum was resigned as if to say ' eh, whatever ' but there is a hint of aggression just barely present in it. a velvety, but still equally as deep voice answers him, ❝ mm, sure — why not? not that you really care about whether i want it be recorded, or not. ❞ doctor bowman paused at that. the only sound audible through the recording is a half-suppressed ' ahh ' that gives off a peculiar aura of sad understanding, ❝ i do care. we just have certain... rules set in place here, that everyone has to follow. it's just a policy has been in affect ever since doctor crane was fired from here. ❞
a quiet snort came from the other side of the room, and the sound of some sort of furniture crunching under the weight of barton adopting a new position atop it is audible. he sounded snide whenever he talked next, ❝ oh, he was a lot more than fired from here, wasn't he? it's okay. you can say that he became a patient here because he was experimenting on people. if only he wasn't after such a foolish goal. then, maybe he wouldn't have gotten caught, ❞ you can practically hear that the sneer that had no doubt formed on barton's face at that moment. doctor bowman said nothing at first, and then made an attempt at reining him in. ❝ okay, well, either way... we're not here to talk about doctor crane. we're here to talk about you. so, it seems from one of your previous psychiatrists, ❞ doctor bowman took another pause as the sound of him flipping through papers escaped the recording, ❝ that march is a particularly rough month for you. can you explain to me why that is? ❞
the room had suddenly become very quiet, to the point where all you could hear was the sound of both of their breathing. that is, until barton's voice made a return, but the velvetiness from it is completely gone. when he answered the doctor's question, barton's voice had hiked up a few octaves and he let out a muffled sigh as if something was obstructing his speech. maybe he was biting on one of his nails, or he was covering his face with his hand. i was hard to tell, ❝ mm, no. you cannot. next question, please. ❞ now it was doctor bowman's turn to adjust his position on what was probably a chair that he was sitting on. the sound of crinkling leather resounded through the speaker, and doctor bowman chose to try to pry an answer out of him. ❝ look, barton, if you ever hope to get better then you must realize that it's going to take some discom — ❞ doctor bowman paused mid-sentence as a gasp suddenly left his mouth and the sound of something crashing to the floor resounded through the room they were in. it resembled breaking glass, maybe from a lamp, or something similar.
doctor bowman's voice trembled at the beginning when he began talking once more, but it became steady after a few more seconds as he was trained to keep it neutral, ❝ barton, why... why do you have that? no, how did you get that? ahh. you know what, i'm going to call the orderlies, ❞ what ' it ' is is unclear. the sound of shuffling, then what was probably the weight of the doctor himself being forced back down onto the chair, came through the speaker. doctor bowman attempted to say something but was cut off, now letting out another gasp. barton's voice sounded a lot quieter now, but there is a certain coldness to it. a fury, if you will, ❝ you call them, and i will kill them, then you. you think you know why march is a terrible time for me because i can guarantee you that it was scrawled down in that folder. but you actually have no fucking idea. ❞
instead of asking him to elaborate more, doctor bowman tried to appeal to the more human side of him. he sucked in a breath before coughing. ❝ do — do not do this. you know what is going to happen if you do, don't you? if you just put the knife down right now, i promise you, i'll make it so that you aren't going to face as severe of repercussions from this. ❞ another cough, and just like that, barton's voice wrang throughout the room. it was deceptively sweet now, like he was relishing in the other's terror. a series of low-pitched laughs came from him. ❝ ooh my god, doctor, you should've been a comedian. no... i'll tell you what you want to know, since you are one persistent person. and so you'll have something to think about while you're gurgling on your own blood. this is the month in which my biological father was killed by the worst pig of them all: jim gordon. but it wasn't just that he was killed that makes it so rough for me. ❞
barton inhaled deeply, clearing his throat, ❝ it's that i wanted to kill him, too. i thought about grabbing a knife from the kitchen, sneaking into his bedroom, and killing him multiple times. but that's not even the worst part. ❞ another laugh came from barton but it wasn't sadistic, or even snide. it was choked-sounding. ❝ despite all of the foul things he did to me, i think a part of me still loves him. i mean there can't be any other reason why i would want to keep a part of him, ❞ there was a long pause then before he sniffled and the sound of crinkling leather once more crept through the recording.
❝ ahh, but you know, you were one of the better ones. it's a shame i have to kill you. ❞ a high-pitched scream soon blared throughout the room in which this was recorded, before the room fell entirely silent. the only sounds after this were footsteps, which were undoubtably barton's, and the recorder being turned off. ]
#tw: graphic depictions of violence.#tw: mentions of murder.#tw: discussions of child abuse.#tw: therapy.#tw: discussions of how abuse may affect a child.#tw: disturbing content.#yeah so uhhh... how are we all doing after reading this? if you guys need a like a hug from me then i'm totally down for-#giving you those because i know this was a LOT. and most if not everything that barton said in this was true so there's a fair amount of-#things to unpack there. anyhow though please take heed to the warnings as i included some at the top of this post as well since i don't-#want to make anyone feel unsafe / uncomfortable on here but i might've started writing this and wasn't able to stop so it's finished now#but yeah. i hope you know i am very thankful that you sent in this ask and that this lives up to your expectations of an audio transcript.#i honestly wasn't quite sure how to approach it at first but i went with describing things as you'd hear them since that made sense to me
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Feeling nostalgia rn
Today honestly reminds me of the time in *let me check the date* 2022?!?!?! HOW WAS THAT SO LONG AGO??😭😭
Well, anyway- Today reminds me of the time when I was supposed to be sleeping, during a night of the return to my home from visiting family (it is a very long road, and I'm coming back after this night too-), back then I found @genshinluvr 'Not What You'd Expect' and stayed up to 3/4 am reading the chapters!
Ever since then I was checking up on them everyday, and then started checking them every Sunday, not skipping a week FOR MONTHS (I think I started a bit before 'By The Seashore' until around 'Happily Ever After?'), and reading everything with such a fascination. Later on I also started reading her HSR x Reader, and got super into it too!
So I wanted to share with everyone thede amazing pieces of art, a literal masterpieces that I want to thank greatly for lots of memories and good moments! Seriously, her writing is so professional and good! I'll never forget this work, it's truly one of a kind, thank you for writing it!
PLEASE go check it out!
Time to repeat history with reading and re-reading new things from Aaliah on the night before my return to home! (And being tired the day after-) Love you!
#just felt nostalgic today that's all#But i really do love these works so please if you are in any of those fandoms go check it out#honestly wow#it's been so long since i've read them and i still think nothing can top them#truly a wonderful experience#my everything#Okay let's stop cause it becomes idk moody ig#Once again#These works are great so you won't regret checking it out!#Not what you'd expect has over 600 000 words!#W O W#it honestly blows my mind so much#how much time passed#God bless her#I hope she'll have everything she could ever want!#(I hope it isn't invasive if it is then I'm sorry I just love these works so much)#roseapov#roseatalks#rosea talks#genshin impact#honkai star rail#hsr#genshin#gi#honkai: star rail#hsr x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader
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Took twice the max dose of melatonin before the final revision for tomorrow’s exam, I’m shitting my pants and I genuinely don’t know anything as thoroughly as I should but if I sleep less than 4 hrs before it I just know I’m gonna do even worse somehow
#don’t take twice the max dose of anything btw#genuinely don’t do the shit that I do#i only did it bc I know my limits and haven’t had any other substances in over 24 hrs but don’t ever try it#always talk to your gp before taking any meds and supplements at all#anyway psa aside#I want to revise for two hrs so until 1.30am circa but I genuinely hope I pass out sometime in the next hours and a half#godspeed ig#uni#melatonin#I have super high expectations but I genuinely prepared this exam in like 4 days and my brain has been all over the place#haven’t had the chance (economic too so please please consider sparing a couple of bucks for my ko-fi?) to meet my therapist in 2 weeks#been super suicidal super busy dealing with stuff and people and my family and uni and ah oh how I wish I had a brain able to focus#also the ‘visions of horror’ as I call them have lowkey turned into auditory hallucinations that never stop and it’s… tough#genuinely so tired of everything in general#I’d promised to hang with my uni friends after the exam bc I should be done my midday tops but I know im gonna be super sad and underwhelme#so I hope I can be at home by 4 pm tops with one excuse or the other#I love them all so much but I need a break. also bc I got another exam in less than a fucking week and I still haven’t started studying for#it because it’s objectively easier than tomorrow’s and because when was I supposed to study for it#I spent 3 good days working on a paper that isn’t even mine for a subject I don’t even take#a favor for a friend which turned into 3 more friends asking me if I could help them with theirs#and you know me#I never say no. unfortunately. but also I’m super glad they want my help bc they know I can write at least (one good thing)#but. that’s still -3 days available#then. the demons#wasted so many hours just pacing and biting my nails raw and being pathetic#so yeah. in a little under 15 hrs I want to be in bed again. resting until the 19th when the cycle will begin anew#also math ain’t mathing. my exam is in 12 hrs only now 13.
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need to get away from the ‘trans ppl with skinny anime characters as their icons that use skinny anime characters in all their trans memes and only reblog skinny anime art’ section of tumblr and find more of the ‘trans ppl who appreciate body diversity and art of trans ppl that actually looks like the trans ppl i know irl and not like a conventionally attractive model’ section. where r y’all at. pls for the love of god help me get me out of here i’m fighting for my fucking life where is the fat hairy transgender art i can’t take this anymore
#it’s not even always abt fatness either like#there is a difference between drawing a skinny trans person where they look like an actual skinny trans person#and drawing an idealistic model body that looks like a cis person but with Trans Feature (like top scars or a girl bulge)#people always say that it like. makes them euphoric ???? ok. if you say so i guess that’s fine! if ur really happy!#if ur really happy idolizing an unrealistic body expectation that is nearly impossible to live up to! if that is what brings you joy!#then who am i to stop you!#i just don’t get it like how does that not make u feel detached from ur body#i already feel so detached from my body i need art that looks like me to feel like i own my body#if the answer is because ur doing it to purposefully detach urself from ur body i think u should rethink that#i don’t think that is healthy#i think u should try to work on loving you body and having realistic transition goals
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已向严冬,感慕兼伤。 / 小舟从此逝,江海寄余生。 情不自任,奈何奈何。 / 十年前东海一决,李某蒙兵器之利,借沉船之机与君一战,犹不能胜。 陛下何如,吾哀劳。 / 君武勇之处世所罕见,心悦诚服。 何赖,爱护时否。 / 今事隔多年,沉疴难起、剑断人亡,再不能赴东海之约,谓为��事。 陛下倾气力,孰若别时。 / 余感念君所赠之忘川,然终有负君之所望。江山多年变幻万千,去去重去去,来时是来时。方多病习我之功法,资质上佳。不暇多日,定不在明月沉西海之下。君今无意逐鹿,但求巅峰。李某已去。若君意不平,足堪请其代之。
#xdq and lxy penning their last words in a place they have belonged to their whole life#they wrote their only farewell letter to the person they have been battling and struggling with their whole life#to tell them that they're so tired but they still love them#a one-way letter they never expect to hear back from#also it's important to me that they handed the letter to another person they loved who was the messenger between#on top of these being heartbreaking#if you think about it it's also extremely funny both of them were going#hey STOP BOTHERING ME I'M TOO TIRED TO FIGHT ANYMORE#here take my child and spar with them instead GOODBYE! PEACE OUT!#once again for legal reasons this is only for myself and whoever wants to read!! bye#my posts#hlht#lhl#if you see me posting hlht and lhl parallels again pls have forgiveness in your heart
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are we really back to "oh you support (blank)? name ten people who (do/are) that right now or else youre lying for allyship points and everything you have to say should be disregarded". i thought we left that back in like. 2012 misogynist nerdbro culture
#i have seen it on two entirely separate topics lately and its like. hello?????#'if you cant name 10 trans authors off the top of your head you shouldnt be talking about trans issues full stop.#i dont think thats an unreasonable expectation for anyone wanting to engage in rational discourse' how about we all go outside#because like yeah i couldnt name you too many trans authors but given my transgenderismness i think i do in#fact still deserve a seat at the table. and i dont think there should be a prerequisite academic education level to be allowed to talk.#'but you could find them for free-' yes‚ you can‚ but people should still be allowed to a) choose what they read based#off of what interests them and not mildly-to-extremely dense nonfiction writing and still Talk About Their Own Lives And Have#Opinions#shockingly not reading a lot of one specific type of author doesnt prevent a person from having reasonable and valuable opinions#if youre not capable of parsing someones argument because theyre not well-read enough then that just imo means you dont actually understand#the things youve read to be able to give them a synopsis#this isnt school. we're not being graded. there is no required reading and you are perfectly capable of giving people an#explanation on your stances if theyre unfamiliar with them#i had a b) but i dont remember what it was‚ i think it probably was part of what i covered there that i thought was a separate thought#but yeah just like. idk you can just say 'hey i would really recommend reading xyz but to summarize‚ (thing that disproves them)'#it is not . difficult to either Explain yourself or‚ if that is not possible‚ Not be condescending to the person youre not willing to teach#for not knowing#ill stop there bc ive already done that ramble before but. yes#origibberish#edit: ok upon reread i got turned around and switched from addressing the less educated one conveying their arguments#to the more well read one#bc that was the b is i was gonna talk about both#yall get what i mean though just like. split it in half and flip it turnways
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I might just go on a huge tangent on here so I sincerely apologize, but I think this is something you've slightly touched on before, so maybe it's interesting to you? About the fact that literally Nobody on the staff/people who work behind the scenes of everything in the kpop industry are credited, mentioned or acknowledged for their work (other than, for example, the surface level “the designer deserves a raise!!!” that i so often see in mv comments :/). What I wanted to talk about specifically though is the company’s complete lack of crediting of these people?? I wanted to look into who directed this new mv that just dropped that I really liked the artistry, editing, and general composition of, but I found absolutely nothing across the group’s yt videos or their pages of who the director is, perhaps the set designer, editor, etc. Utterly taken aback, I checked the descriptions of other kpop music videos, from the most popular to more unknown groups (Twice, Dongkiz, to name a few), and again, nothing. I thought I was going insane, so I looked at mvs for like Amercian bands, and their video details are completely filled with the information of the producer, the recording studio, mixer, master, etc. etc, my point is: so much more than just the group’s twitter or merch page??? I’m like what is going on?? I noticed the kpop mv's only list licensing info at least, but so did the american ones? Idk. It’s either me not knowing where to look, or maybe I’m late to the fact that that is just how things work with kpop group companies or the industry as whole, just giving you no details as to who the hell else worked on this mv or song. I love my biases and appreciate their contributions, but I do not buy for a second that, more often than not, they wrote or produced or mixed absolutely nothing. I think it’s a huge shame that this is done because it reinforces the false idea that the idols are the ones responsible for everything we’re seeing and listening to. Maybe that’s the point, and that’s exactly what the industry wants you to believe, which that just makes it really sad. (Wait also maybe it all gets hidden because its work for hire or the companies buy ownership copyright...)
so i want to clarify some things for you, from the perspective of someone who works in the arts industry. firstly, and most importantly: visible credits exist in western filmic media because of unions. and there are still a LOT of fields that are not unionized. for thousands of years it was fundamentally understood that no performance based art form was done singularly by an individual, so there was often not a reason for there to be 'credits' in the first place. the whole assuming the face of the project is the person who did the most work thing? that's a very new phenomenon in the history of art, and it's capitalism's fault.
secondly: um. you are definitely not looking in the right places bc people are ABSOLUTELY credited? especially music production staff? i guess if you only look at a music video then sure yea there's not always credits there, but companies literally release tracklists and highlight medleys on their main social medias AS PROMOTION that have LISTS of their arrangers and composers. hell, tan's most recent tracklist has their fucking midi programmer on it????
also..............the fucking ALBUMS HAVE CREDITS IN THEM. i can't believe i have to say this but THE ALBUMS ARE THE MAIN PRODUCT AND THEY HAVE PAGES OF CREDITS IN THEM. i...????
like???
i got addy (@hoforwonho) to send these to me, these are from a lucy album and nayeon's album, and they literally have pages of credits???
lastly, and most importantly: the only people who are being 'fooled' into thinking that idols are 'producing' most of the content are western fans. because that is the stereotype promoted BY THE WESTERN MUSIC INDUSTRY. so that is the lens through which you view the korean music industry. koreans and korean fans are well aware that idols do not produce their own artistic content, there is quite literally a stigma around idols in sk about how they are not viewed as artists SPECIFICALLY because of this. gdragon and jonghyun were HUGE deals for being some of the first idol producers + songwriters. music is a huge part of the korean entertainment industry and people who make music are very much a visible part of it. kim eana is a very famous lyricist and she has a popular radio show. kbs just did a whole competition show featuring producers as the contestants. companies are not required to put credits in music videos because music videos are only one part of a kpop cb, and they are also not obligated to put those credits in english. just because you can't find something doesn't mean that it doesn't exist and the whole industry is at fault for it.
#listen. i'm sorry to say this but it's not the industry's fault that you don't read korean and don't know how to look something up#companies do not need to constantly post every single credit for everything on social media stop expecting stuff to be fed to you#kpop questions#also: most kpop fans genuinely do not give a shit about the credits. if someone wants to know#they will go looking in the most obvious places for them#also also: not having the credits plastered everywhere on social media is partially a protection mechanism!#kpop fans are known for fucking stalking and harassment are you kidding me#and there ARE kpop mvs with credits in the actual mvs? i can think of at least three from the last year off the top of my head???#and one of them IS a dkz mv??????????#answers#text#bts literally got popular bc they copied the western model of pretending that the art they produce is 'authentic' and self produced#that's why they blew up. i've talked about this several times#its the western model and western fans that are perpetuating this viewpoint.#also oh my god mama has a BUNCH of creative awards are you just fucking thick????#and i cant even believe im about to say this but. THE BIG FOUR COMPANIES ARE LITERALLY FOUNDED BY FUCKING SONGWRITERS AND PRODUCERS#YG LSM JYP BANG SIHYUK WERE ALL ARTISTS AT ONE POINT#OR STILL ACTIVELY ARE WORKING#...........i feel like i need to lay down#m8 how do you think i know who choreographers and producers are. of fucking course people are credited did you think i was guessing????
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So because I'm on antidepressants now I'm apparently not allowed to have any bad days. Like, not sure how to explain that that's not how it works and that ignoring me and refusing to speak to me isn't going to help.
#vent post#personal#I'm just fucking tired today and need a distraction because yesterday sucked#i just wanted to go to a bookstore or a garden center for my birthday and instead i had to sit in silence while my partner played games#for literally the entire day while not speaking to me because they were concentrating#and half the time they wanted the lights off because the gets dark at times and they refuse to adjust the settings#so i couldn't even crochet or read without leaving the room which just made them whine about it later#and i know i don't expect anything anymore for my birthday but being ignored by the one person who promised to never do so hurts#it's like being a kid again and getting told that you're not important and that everyone else gets to dictate what you do on your day#when everyone else got treated like royalty on theirs#i sit at home all day every day with no one to talk to so it's not much to want to have some kind of interaction#and yeah I'm literally complaining about nothing but it hurts so much sometimes to be reminded that I'm not really worth much#i did get some presents and one way really nice#but to immediately after just be left alone and forgotten kind of makes me wish they had just actually forgotten#to top it off the night ended with my estranged family trying to text a different family member about how they forgot again to send a card#immediately followed by oops you weren't supposed to see that because we love and care about you#like please stop and just leave me alone#i don't want anything from you guys ever again because you expect too much in return#and i remember the shit you used to say about and to me and the blame you laid on me#just stop pretending like you care and leave me alone#so today is just hard for stupid reasons and i don't really have a reason for being super depressed but i am#and getting mad that I'm crying isn't going to help#i need a distraction and can't have one and just can't cope#might go buy myself something nice off ebay to try and feel better but also the present i bought myself got stolen so maybe i won't
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Nothing like stumbling upon a news story ab a man being swarmed by bees for 3 hours to make you paranoid and have a panic attack :)
#mom was like well stop watching the news!! and like i wasnt expecting bees!!!! i was expecting my daily 20 min of news#i got stung a few years ago and now i have a severe fear of bees to the point where i regularly have nightmares ab them#we had a fucking wasp making a nest on that inner part of wood that's on top of your door like theres the inner door and the screen door#and on top theres wood? on THAT bc we bought the wrong doors years and years ago and were off by like 1/4 of an inch so there was a gap and#it crawled in there and decided to make a nest and we had to knock this motherfucker and its nest outside with a paper towel and then i#it came back inside and went in the window so i was outside yelling at mom where it was so she could smash it with the blinds (which is how#i kill flys lmao) and then we threw it outside and i sprayed it and the paper towel it was in AND the nest with raid to deter any other#wasps from being like???? even though it was just the queen making an inital nest so no others in the colony#and we sealed the door with those foam strips you use to seal windows with plastic in the winter#anyway AHHH#marquilla
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feeling romantic. fuck the AU and being productive I'm going to go write a bunch of westlijah
I have karoke in thirty minutes though. Today is just liveblog day so who knows. But tomorrow will be for Westlijah.
#westlijah#Hang on I'm going to talk about them for a second though they are so cute and adorable and dumb.#So E made Elijah's character ridiculous tragic. Everyone around him dies and Elijah travels on the Pyrrhus with the#expectation that everyone there will die too; and the whole fucking rpg he played him terrified until the very end and his character arc#was realizing that sometimes people even your friends make decisions that you can't stop and some people are willing to sacrifice everythin#and there's nothing you can do about that#and it's DEVASTATING at the end because canonically Westlie will not stop flying/working around Albion#even though she literally killed Queen Vicky and could retire and chill; she can't because she's a dumbass workaholic with anxiety.#And Elijah has to live with her traveling and coming home; and they are married in spirit although it probably took fucking forever for the#to fess up after the rpg ended; E and I were just bad about shoehorning their relationship in; and stereotypically#E and I are demisexual as fuck about it so we were like (or I was like) 'oh this will be deeply funny to happen to our characters#and then by the time we actually finished the rpg we were dating#did any of that make sense? does it matter? idk I'm leaving to go sing Our Lady of the Underground at the top of my lungs and play ddr
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