#and yes i am allergic to being happy
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it's been awhile since i watched the latest haikyuu movie and i've been feeling melancholy ever since.
it is such a surreal feeling knowing that the manga has long since ended and there is just one more movie in the works.
i watched haikyuu for the first time in high school during spring of 2014. the potrayal of community, growth and connection that came from a mutual passion had me hooked. i lived vicariously through each character. hoping that one day, i too would find something that i loved with such desperation.
its been a long 10 years since, and i can't say i've managed to find anything that would replicate that passion. i'm not even sure it exists. ironically though, the only times i've ever gotten close to even a fraction of that passion, is when i've revisited my obsession with haikyuu.
this may seem a little cringe and a bit selfish, but i wish haikyuu would continue indefinitely. so that, every once in awhile, when life gets too busy and i happen to lose my way, there will always be something to bring me back. to remind me that there is beauty in the most unexpected of moments and unless i open my heart to these experiences, they will pass me by.
that unique moments of pure love, passion and community are still awaiting. and while they may not begin at a junior high-school tournament, in a high-school gymnasium, or at a training camp. perhaps, on a sunny day in the middle of spring, or a cold and windy fall evening, i will find myself, laughing, in a passionate community, engrossed in something i truly love.
#i just needed to get this out#the haikyuu movie was great but i couldn't shake the feeling of wanting more#it did make me cry tho#ive been binge watching haikyuu tiktoks to cope HAHAH#and yes i am allergic to being happy#if u read this and relate#just know i love u#haikyuu#haikyuu!#haikyuu!!#rant#anime#haikyuu the dumpster battle
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kdj trying to kill himself after seeing the OD is such a visceral and gut wrenching part of the book—
“Something was wrong. A blade… I, I needed to find a blade.” <- this scene (chapter 515) actually broke my heart, i genuinely felt sick reading it. he’s so desperate to die that it’s honestly palpable, it’s like finally seeing that truth behind the snarky mask kim dokja always wears. it took me until this point to realize that every time he tried to sacrifice himself for his companions, it wasn’t just a well thought out plan but a true, genuine suicidality and the acceptance that he might not come back. that he isn’t worthy of living a good, happy life with a happy ending. (which maybe i’m just slow, but i really fell for dokja’s lies, every single time i thought to myself “everything’s going to be fine because he has a plan to survive this,” and almost every single time i was right. except for the end i suppose.)
and fuck, it hits so, so hard.
#tw suicide#like i know thats already a big theme in the book but in this case i feel the need to very explicitly tag that#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv spoilers#kim dokja#the oldest dream#i wasnt planning on writing a sad post today but alas.#‘are orv fans allergic to being happy’ yes sorry#dont go into my replies like ‘you’re thinking too deep about this’ or whatever#i know i am!! i know its probably not that deep#i know that he probably did see himself having a happy ending probably#but when i think about his character#and when i think about his actions#i cant help but see a bit of that sort of undercurrent of ‘i don’t belong’#that sort of undercurrent of ‘i want to die’#his character feels relatable to me#take that statement as you will i guess#not that ive sacrificed my life for anyone#lol#but that passive sort of way he approaches the topic#all jokes and smiles and such??#and other people are like ‘uhm. no i think you need help.’ and he cant see it#thats so????#he needs therapy#*i* need therapy#sorry for traumadumping in main orv tag LOL#feel free to get mad at me in replies i understand#this could be a total mischaracterization of kdj#probably is tee bee atche but OH WELL. also i hit tag limit oops. 30 tags is the limit apparently
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sometimes you just gotta find ur cat and bury ur face deep in their fur and take a sniff while they look at you like ?¿? as you leave its good for you its good for the soul
#txt#cats#yes i will be sneezing afterwards#bc i am allergic to them#but i dont care ill still do it#its like eating cheese while being lactose intolerant to me#they are simply suggestions that i will aggressively ignore#my body will be upset about it but mentally i am so happy
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honey ♡ joel miller
rating: E 18+ only pairing: beekeeper!joel x f!reader summary: joel is obviously beekeeping age warnings: not proofread, no outbreak, best friends dad!joel, soft!joel, unspecified 30+ year age gap, a hint unrealistic in the sense that sarah doesn’t care, lots of bee science, mentions of bees/bee stings (ouch), honey play (i had to), fingering, f receiving oral, kitchen sex, pet names, plenty of dirty talk (mhm yes yum) a/n: i totally didn’t google bee sex for like an hour just to be accurate… nope… no i didn’t. lol enjoy & happy valentines day ;)
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“Which eyeshadow should I use?”
You looked at the small, black palette and its array of choices before telling Sarah, “Purple, it goes great with green dresses.”
Sarah began to brush the product onto her eyelids while she talked about her plans for tonight with her boyfriend, Alex; her voice became white noise as you caught a glimpse of her father in the backyard working on something.
“Your dad’s a beekeeper, right?” You asked without realizing you interrupted her.
“Uh… Yeah?”
“Cool… How’d he get into that? Doesn’t seem like the type to… Save bees?”
“What do you mean?” She mumbled beneath her working hand.
Shrugging, you tried to keep your expression and tone neutral. “Aren’t beekeepers usually a bit dorky?”
“My dad is a dork.”
“I mean, not really,” you chuckled, watching the man pull out the different trays and examine them. “It’s cute, your dad keeping bees… How old is he again?”
Sarah only rolled her eyes.
“He’s definitely beekeeping age,” you continued. “Kinda sweet. Him caring for a colony of bees in your backyard.”
Your best friend was now looking at you look at her father—correction: you were ogling him. Your attempts at seeming unbothered by his looks failed. Sarah always said you wore your heart on your forehead sometimes.
You just couldn’t help it; Joel was tall and big and broad and… Older. He wore a tough exterior, one that always intimidated you, but now you see him tending to bees. The man was a softie at heart, not to mention insanely hot.
His skin tanned even deeper from the long hours of being in the sun, and his forehead littered with droplets of sweat. Was it so wrong to think about Joel f—
“Sarah, I wanna fuck your d—“
“Oh, really?”
You shrugged and sat down on her bed. “Can you blame me?! He’s like… Twenty times hotter than the guys our age.”
“He’s also twenty times your age,” she spat.
“Doesn’t he have a brother?” You shamelessly asked.
She scoffed and looked at you in disbelief. “Yeah, who’s married and has three kids.”
You groaned softly. “Bummer.”
“You have a fucking insane sex drive, you know?”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” you whined, “It’s making me masturbate more than I’d like.”
“You know what, if you wanna make the bold attempt to fuck my fifty year old dad then you have my blessing,” she sarcastically told you.
You simply raised an eyebrow and stared at her shit-eating grin, waiting for her to tell you she was joking. “Don’t bullshit me, Sarah, ‘cause you know I will.”
“Ah—la la la la la! I am not—I am not listening to it anymore. Get it out of your system before I take it back.”
You pretended to lock your lips and throw the key away as she got back on her boyfriend, but all you could think about was her dad.
♡
You waited for Sarah’s boyfriend’s car to leave the driveway before shakily fixing your hair and lip gloss, then you walked into the backyard with eyes set on the man and his work.
“Mr. Miller,” you called once you were a few feet away from him.
He looked up for a split second and motioned his head as a greeting, saying your name in response.
“Bees?”
“Yes, ma’am. Somethin’ I can help you with?”
Shrugging, you walked a little closer but kept your distance fearing a bee sting. “Maybe.”
He lifted a panel up and briefly examined it until he noticed the lingering silence. His dark eyes locked with yours and he sensed your hesitation. “You allergic?”
You only shook your head.
“They’re calm if you are.”
I am so not fucking calm right now, you thought.
“C’mere darlin’. I’ll show ya.”
He used his index and middle finger to beckon you, and you instantly fixated on why you were there in the first place.
You made the daring move to take a few more steps, ears coaxed by the hum of the colony.
“They usually only sting if you annoy them, or smell like a flower.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t spray floral perfume on my shirt this morning,” you joked.
He almost laughed as the bees didn’t seem to care for you so far. “Honeybees really don’t want to sting you.”
“‘Cause it kills ‘em, right?”
Nodding, Joel says, “Exactly. Their number one goal is to protect the queen. Second is to survive whatever threats they face.”
“How’d you get into this kinda stuff?” You asked.
You were trying to find some way to bring up your question without being sudden or rude, though beekeeping didn’t seem like a helpful topic.
“When Sarah was little she used to get a lot of rashes and she had some bad allergies. That over the counter medicine didn’t help, but honey helped. The natural shit— stuff they sell at the store… Well, it gets expensive. And I didn’t have as good a job as I do now... So I figured I’d give it a go and make my own honey.“
“That’s sweet of you. My dad always had me tough it out,” you chuckled.
“I have plenty stashed away in the kitchen. You’re welcome to take some,” he offered. “Hey, what was it you needed?”
“Oh, uh.” You pursed your lips unsure of whether or not you should lie. “Well, I have this sort of… Itch.”
“Itch? It’s not an STD is it, ‘cause I don’t think honey can help with that.”
You knew it was a deadpan joke but the tension had your face stuck in a scrunch.
“No. Not an STD,” you answered. “I just, uh… I really like you, I guess.”
“I hope so, you’ve been eating up half my groceries for the past twenty somethin’ years.”
Idiot.
“No, I mean…” You realized you wouldn’t be able to ask him. “Never mind, uh. Just forget it.”
He watched you turn and begin walking away before it dawned on him. “Oh!”
You faced him again, scratching your head and giving him a nervous look. “Yeah, like I said: forget it. We can just pretend I never asked—“
“Come here,” he said, adjusting his jeans and walking to the other side of the apiary. “Wanna show ya somethin’.”
You rolled your eyes, fighting your stress response of fleeing the scene and standing beside him again.
“Do you know why bees are so loyal to their queen?” He asked after pulling a panel out to show you.
“Mnh-mnh.”
“The queen is the only bee in the entire hive that can produce more bees. Again, a bee’s second main goal is to preserve the life of their species. The queen produces pheromones that calm the bees down and keep the structure within the colony. Drone bees are male bees that really only exist to mate with the queen when she’s a virgin and out of the hive. Worker bees are females that aren’t the queen, but they’re very nurturing. Especially to the queen because she’s the one in charge.”
“Ahh, a matriarchy. Count me in,” you giggled.
Joel chuckled and pulled a switchblade out of his pocket before forcing the blade to whip out. “Do you know how bees mate?”
His voice sounded a little more quiet, and his eyes met yours with curiosity. You shook your head and waited for him to explain.
“When a new queen is selected, she goes out just one time to find a group of drones who will essentially take her virginity. And drones have an endophallus so after they ejaculate into her, their insides are ripped out and the drone dies. When a new drone comes up to mate with the queen, he removes the last guy’s endophallus and does the same thing. Mate with her… And die. She can mate with about ten or twenty different drones before flying back to the hive and laying eggs.”
“So the drones’ only purpose is to mate with a queen?” You asked.
He began cutting away a small piece of the wax, and the honey trickled down slowly.
“It’s the only reason he lives,” Joel muttered. You watched his thick fingers scoop up the liquid gold and he raised them to your lips. “He waits… And waits… And waits… For the right queen to come along.”
He smirked at your amused expression.
“Are you trying to seduce me by telling me the sexual nature of bees?”
He softly shook his head and glanced at your shiny lips. “Not trying to seduce you. Just tellin’ you what most men really want.”
Exhaling, you tried to ignore his fingers lingering in front of your face. The sickly sweet smell of honey filled your nostrils as his words echoed inside of your head.
“Go on,” he whispered, “have a taste.”
It took you a few extra seconds to build up the confidence in order to take him on his dare, but you made sure you did it as slowly as possible.
Your lips parted and he immediately felt your warm breath flow over his fingers; instinctively, your tongue darted out to catch a drop of the honey before it fell to the ground. Then you wrapped your lips around his digits, softly moaning at the sweet tasting nectar that coated his wood scented fingers.
WIth steady eyes you watch his brown orbs darken with lust, hearing him let out a huff and seeing the muscles in his face relax as if your slick tongue gave him the satisfaction he’d been seeking for a long time.
You swirled your tongue around, persisted to taste every last drop. The thickness coated your throat while you desperately wanted it to be something other than honey.
Your lips left his hand with a wet pop that prompted him to lick whatever saliva and honey remained on his fingers.
“Tastes good.”
“Just good?”
“Tastes delicious,” you corrected.
He let out a soft chuckle and put the wood panel back in its place.
“Sarah know you’re out here?”
After rolling your eyes and smirking you said, “She doesn’t need to know. Actually quite sure she wouldn’t want to know. Besides, Alex just picked her up, so.”
“So we’re all alone,” he finished.
“I’m gonna go get some of that honey you were talking about. Though I might need your help finding the right cabinet.”
He watched you walk back into the house before following you; once inside he saw you reaching into a cabinet in the corner, but a big red bruise on your arm caught his attention.
Joel walked over to you and grabbed your arm. Confused, you tried to see what he was looking at to no avail.
“You got stung right here,” he said as if he read your mind. He started walking over to the correct cabinet.
Frowning, you lifted your arm before spotting the bump. “Weird. Didn’t even feel it.”
“S’normal,” he muttered.
He stepped in front you to lift you up underneath your arms and sit you on top of the kitchen island.
You carefully watched as he opened up a sealed mason jar and stood between your legs.
“Mmkay. Lift your arm up.”
You did as he told and tried not to grimace while he scraped the stinger out. Honestly you didn’t have to try too hard; he looked so good like this, taking good care of you. Focused and confident like he’d done this a million times. You were certain he had.
He dipped a finger into the jar and swiped a little honey over the bump, carefully rubbing it in and drifting his gaze to your eyes.
“Helps the itch,” he spoke. “You said you had one, right?”
“Think I’ve got a bigger itch,” you replied.
“Hmm. Where at?”
Biting your bottom lip you trailed a finger over your neck, finding your sweet spot and rubbing a small circle over it. “Here.”
Joel rubbed a some honey on your neck and lapped it up like a thirsty dog. He held back on sucking the skin, mindful that you might not be fond of hickeys.
“I get it?” His voice strained.
You hummed. “No… No it’s went down a little bit. Tryyy… Here.”
Your clavicle.
More honey. More licking.
“How ‘bout now?”
You took your shirt off revealing your breasts. “Try here, and here.”
Your breath shook when the cold liquid was smeared over your hardened nipples. Once he took the first one into his mouth you let a desperate breath and held the curve of his head in your palm, letting him have his way with your tits.
“Nope, still there,” you spoke once he pulled away.
His fingers found the button on your shorts, then the zipper.
“Damn itches,” he said, “they’re always so damn stubborn. Ain’t that right? S’okay. Think I have a remedy for that.”
Just like that your shorts and panties were off and his fingers scooped up some more honey—more than what was necessary for anything.
He bent down to your glistening pussy and lazily rubbed the honey all over. You’d be lying if you said that alone didn’t make that knot inside of you twist harder.
Joel’s tongue eagerly met your clit, and he didn’t bother wasting anymore time with teasing you. A gurgling moan left his mouth once he tasted your juices mixing with the honey, creating the perfect elixir for his tastebuds.
Your legs clamped around his head reactively but he was strong enough to force them apart and keep them open.
Whilst he sucked and pulled and lapped around your clit, your hands were reaching, searching for anything to grasp. As a result you ended up knocking over the jar and spilling its contents, but you were too dazed to give a fuck.
Somewhat annoyed with you flailing around like you’d never been eaten out before, Joel smacked the back of your thigh. You shuddered and calmed your body down, settling with pulling on his hair relentlessly since the force of his smack stung a little.
He preferred it that way; take your tension out on him. Make him hurt if it meant you felt good. It only stroked his ego.
His tongue slipped between your pussy lips and slurped up whatever it could, the vibrations making you cry out his name. He did it again and again and again and again and a-fucking-gain until he was certain you were screaming from an orgasm.
Joel moaned at your thick cum pouring out of your cunt and down his sticky chin, drinking up anything he wasn’t missing.
He only stopped when he figured you’d had enough and stood eye level with you while fumbling with his belt buckle.
“I think that itch got a little deeper now,” he cockily said, “wouldn’t you say?”
Your eyes were wide, pupils nearly blown, mouth agape, and chest heaving. “I think you can reach it just fine, Joel.”
Holding back a boastful laugh, he lined his erection up with your soft entrance and slid inside carefully.
“So pretty,” he whispered, “you look so fucking pretty like this, baby.”
You pulled his face in for a sloppy kiss, happily tasting the mixture of you and his honey. He noticed your hand was tacky from the spill and stuck a few fingers into his mouth, spreading the stickiness anywhere he could get it.
“Your cock,” you moaned into his chin. “So big.”
“It’s all yours, princess,” he moaned.
His hips pulled back and then snapped back into yours; his tip pressing into the deepest part of your pussy.
“Fuck. You get so fucking deep,” he praised. “S’it feel good, baby?”
“Yes,” you said against your will. “Oh my God, just like tha—fuck!”
Joel fucked you just the way you liked: fast, but not sloppily or too hard. He watched his cock disappear into you a dozen times, and he grew harder than he ever had before.
“You look so pretty with my cock inside. Such a dirty fucking girl,” he shouted over your moans. “You take it so well, baby.”
Joel felt the his orgasm begin to arrive so he pulled out and took a step back; you whined a bit and reached for him but you were already so sore.
Meanwhile he just undressed himself and laid you down on the marble countertop, climbing on top of you not long after.
“I hear you, baby,” he cooed. “You don’t need to beg… I’m gon’ take real good care a’you.”
You lazily smiled and wrapped your legs around his broad waist.
“There you go,” he whispered against your lips as he slid back into you, hearing your whines turn into moans. “There you go, sweetheart. I got you.”
He returned back to his original pace, only his hips thrusted harder into you. You felt every curve and vein along his cock, every inch he gave to you.
Your nails clawed at his back and feet dug into his hips. You reached for him in any way you could. His lips danced with yours as you drank each other’s honey-coated moans.
“Joel, fuck. Oh, Joel I’m gonna cum,” you admitted.
He felt your back arch off of the counter as if your tone was indicating enough.
“I know, baby, I know. You’re doing so well. I got you, I got you. Need you to look at me, darlin’, can you do that? Can ya look at me with those pretty eyes when you cum?”
You struggled to open your eyes, wanting to wilt up at the intensity building inside of you. But once you saw his eyes again you were hooked.
“Good girl,” he chuckled, wearing the proudest grin imaginable. “Doing such a good job, let it out sweetie. You can cum.”
“I’m cu—oh!”
“I know, babygirl. I can feel it. Let it out for me. Let it out for daddy.”
He watched and held you as you writhed from your orgasm; your skin was on fire, stomach fluttering with elation.
Joel loved the sound of your voice calling his name, so precious and shameless. He couldn’t hold back anymore. He didn’t want to. He wanted to make you his own, even if it had to be temporarily.
“Cum inside me,” you breathed out, feeling overstimulated and overstretched. “Need you to—ah.“
He leaned down for another kiss just when he began to cum inside, a feeling so raw and deep he hadn’t felt in years. He forgot how fucking good it felt, and savored it by pushing through every painful bit of the overstimulation.
Joel gave you a few more soft kisses and slowly got off of the island. He ran a hand over your thighs and watched you come down from your high.
“My hair is covered in honey,” you giggled.
“Let’s go wash you up. Maybe we can find a few more itches to scratch.”
#SORRY THIS IS KINDA RUSHED UMMM#pedro pascal#joel miller#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fluff#tlou smut
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„Just… Pretend.”
summary: in which harry convinces you to spend your summer in cape cod with his parents as his ‘girlfriend.’ but everything is just pretend, your not actually his girlfriend and you never have wanted to be his girlfriend, you’ve never seen him as more than harry styles, the singer… but by the end of the summer will that change?
tropes (so far) : fake dating
part one
“It’s just for one weekend.” He pleaded, “Then you can go back to hating me. You never even have to talk to me again, I don’t care.”
You sigh, your head falling backwards with a groan. You did not want to do this at all, but he’d been persistently asking you for days.
“C’mon, please?”
You roll your eyes, “You’re on a date with a new girl every week, I’m sure any of them would be up for it.”
“I can’t just take anyone to my parent’s place.”
“Why not? Or how about you just tell them you’re not seeing anyone right now? They won’t care.”
“I just need you to come, alright? I’ll owe you one, I promise.”
“Why me? There’s a million other people you could take, besides I’ve already met your parents at a show, they’ll never believe we’re seeing each other.”
“And they really liked you!”
“There’ll be a ton of other people that they like too, Harry. Choose anyone else.”
“I can’t.” He sighs.
“You can.”
“I can’t.” He repeats.
You look at him with tired eyes, awaiting his explanation. You’d been over this a hundred times, you had no interest in pretending to be his girlfriend while he visited his parents over the summer.
“I already told them we’re together.” He says quietly, avoiding eye contact.
“What?” You scoff, “You’ve gotta be joking.”
“They just… They met you at the show, and they really did seem to like you, and they kept going on and on about how they want me to find someone who makes me happy and stuff and I shut them up by saying we’re together…”
“You’re unbelievable.” You say, annoyed.!
The fact he’d been telling his parents ridiculous lies without even telling you about it, when said lies actually involved you had pissed you off.
Harry’s parents were lovely, and a producer on his latest album you’d met them a couple times at shows- Especially during the LA residence where you and his parents sat through the concerts in a VIP booth. His mum was lovely, always smiling and knew every single lyric. She told you that she was in Harry’s 0.5% of top listeners on Spotify last year.
You thought that was cute.
You couldn’t relate though, 5 Seconds of Summer were your top Spotify artist- Harry could never find out about that.
“They’ve been asking for me to take you to the beach house for months-“
“Months?!” You interrupt, “How long have you been telling them we’re together?”
He shrugged, “Since the end of the Forum residency?”
“Harry that was SIX months ago!” You yell, “I can’t pretend to be in a six month relationship with you, that’s ridiculous.”
He sits down on the couch, hugging a pillow.
“Yes you can. You practically know everything about me already. We spent every day of the tour together.”
“Everything about you in a career aspect.”
“Everything in general.” Harry corrects, “Sometimes I think you know more about me than I do.”
“I don’t. You’re just saying this because you’re convincing yourself that this ridiculous idea will actually work.”
“Name my first pet.”
“What?” You question. He was being stupid. There is no way you’d ever be able to spend two weeks with his parents over the summer, it was never going to work. It was a recipe for disaster.
“C’mon. You know the answer.”
He just kept staring at you. He wasn’t giving up. The longer you stayed silent the more intense his stare got. When he began to raise his eyebrows you’d given up.
“Max.” You mutter quietly, unimpressed with this whole game he was playing.
“And what am I allergic to?”
“Marshmallows, but you eat them anyway.”
Harry was grinning, and it was pissing you off. He was winning and he knew it.
“My favourite Christmas song?”
You rolled your eyes, “Christmas lights by Coldplay, but you tell everyone that it’s Merry Christmas Everyone because it’s a classic.”
Harry was giving you a ‘I told you so’ look. He wasn’t going to quit until you agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend.
You sigh softly, “Even if I agree to this… It could he really damaging for my career.”
“No one will find out.” His face was more serious now, and you could tell from the way he was looking at you that he meant it, “I’ll make sure of that.”
“But if if does-”
“It won’t.”
“But if it does, because there’s always a chance no matter what you think, then everyone will only think I got hired to tour manage because we’re ‘sleeping together.’” You say, using air quotes, just to further elaborate that this was all fake.
Harry had already got his grammy, he was at the peak of his career he’d be fine no matter what happened. But you were a female music producer in a male dominated industry, if people think you were only hired for this album because you’re fucking the singer- your career was over.
“If people find out I’ll kill you.”
“Does this mean you’re gonna agree?”
You nod, reluctantly.
“Thank you!” He jumps out of his chair, “I swear I’ll make it up to you, thank you so much.”
— — —
If you were in Harry’s position you’d be vigilant of everything, everyone, everywhere. You’d be paranoid of someone jumping through your bedroom window while you were asleep. But Harry was oddly calm. Maybe he was just like that. His lips were formed almost in a smile while he slept, and his eyes were moving under his eyelids- probably from a dream he was having. He wasn’t calm very often- recently he’d been very on edge and anxious about everything, it was nice to see him look so peaceful. You hoped for that sort of peace someday soon.
You had been in the studio going on six hours, and when he’d taken a break from recording so you could go over the tracks he’d managed to fall asleep in that short period of time.
You let him sleep while you packed up the equipment, putting things back into their assigned places, and didn’t bother waking him up until you were 100% ready to go.
“Harry,” You said softly, shaking his shoulder lightly, “Harry we gotta go.”
His eyes opened and he blinked a few times to adjust himself to the light.
“Huh?”
“We only had the studio booked until six, we gotta go.”
“Oh,” He sat up, stretching his arms and cracking his neck that had went into a cramp, “Sorry, don’t even remember falling asleep to be honest.”
“Don’t worry about it,” You shrug, “We got enough done today anyways. You deserve a rest.”
There were only three days left until the day Harry had said you were leaving for his parents place, and you had skipped over the subject every time he’d tried to bring it up. You didn’t really want to think about it because you were dreading it so badly.
“I’ll give you a ride home.” Harry said as you left the studio building.
“No, it’s alright.” You say, “I’ll just get an Uber.”
Harry glared at you, “Y/N, just get in the car.”
You glare back. But it had been a long day so getting a free lift wasn’t so bad.
“So.” He said, starting the car. “We gotta go over some things.”
“About the album?” You play dumb.
“… No.” He rolls his eyes, “Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“I’m not pretending.”
“Love, you gotta tell me some stuff about you. My parents are gonna ask me shit and I don’t have a clue what to tell them.”
You groan. You should’ve stuck to your gut and got an Uber.
“Like what.”
He shrugs, “What’s your favourite colour?”
“Purple.” You reply.
“Mines is blue.”
“I know,” You reply.
“What’s your favourite song?” He asked.
You laughed to yourself a little.
“Jet black heart,” You grin, knowing you’d get some sort of reaction out of this answer, “By 5 Seconds of Summer.”
“5 Seconds of Summer?” Harry scoffs, “They’re punks!”
You roll their eyes, “They turned to pop music and half of them are married, they’re hardly punks.”
“You know one of them dated my sister, right?” Harry groaned.
“Yep,” You grin, “And wrote a banging tune about it as well.”
“Don’t remind me.” He muttered.
“Look, you asked me a question and I gave you an honest answer. You can’t complain.”
“I know, I know.” Harry said, “You got any exes?”
You raise your eyebrows, “What?”
“This is the kind of stuff I need to know! Like I dunno if I’m your first boyfriend and all that.”
“Harry… I’m 24 years old. You’re not my first boyfriend.”
You said it almost as if he was your boyfriend. It sent a chill down your spine. This was going to be a long few weeks.
“Good to know.” He said.
He dropped you off outside your apartment.
“I guess the next time I see you will be for when we’re leaving, yeah?”
You nod. There was no studio session booked until after his vacation to Cape Cod, where his families beach house was, so he was right. The next time you see him would be at the airport.
“Flights at seven.” He says.
“Got it.”
The next few weeks were going to be hell.
part two coming soon…
support me through ko-fi! (buy me a coffee!!)
#harry styles x reader#harry styles au#harry styles angst#harry styles smut#harry styles one shot#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles#harry styles story#fake dating#fake dating trope#fake relationship
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Escape Call
Pairing: Tim Bradford x Waitress!reader
Fandom: The Rookie
Summary: When a man asks you for help while working, you decide to make a call that might just end up changing your life.
The restaurant was fairly quiet as you neared the end of your shift. It had been a long one, draining you to your core, but anything that waited for you back home wasn't the definition of relaxing in any way. Your tiring days of dealing with snobby customers usually ended in studying for the many mock exams of med school.
The small bell hanging atop the entrance rang, signaling the arrival of a new set of customers, which you hoped would be the last for the day. It was the man who caught your attention first, dressed impeccably in a suit and tie. He had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite place, but it definitely wasn't happiness. A woman entered behind him and followed him to the table he was seating himself at. Unlike the man, she seemed to be quite happy about being at the restaurant.
Convincing yourself that this would be the last table you would wait for, you walked over to them with a pair of menus and greeted the pair with a warm smile.
“Hey guys, what can I get started for you today?”
“I'll just have a water, thanks.” The man said while flipping his menu closed, never bothering to read any of the items on it.
“Are you sure honey? You're not gonna order anything else?” Not giving him a chance to respond, she continued speaking “Well, I'm gonna get something low carb, maybe something like a salad? Gotta watch my weight, y’know..” She trailed off, eyeing you top to bottom.
You felt appalled by her snide comment, but chose not to offer her anything but a tight lipped smile. You left the table to give the cook her order and started working on his glass of water, silently observing the pair sitting across.
The woman was talking expressively while the man just seemed bored. He looked tired, resting his chin on his palm, barely looking at the rambling woman.
You heard a ding from the kitchen, and placed their orders on a plate, walking over to them. You noticed the man writing something on a tissue and folding it up. You were just about to turn around after serving them when you heard a high pitched cry.
“What is this? There's peanuts in this! I can't eat this! I'm allergic” She yelled at you, eyes wide like you had purposely tried to poison her.
“Ma'am I am so incredibly sorry, I didn't know you were allergic-” You couldn't finish your sentence, interrupted by her bowl of salad smashing the ground. You dropped down quickly to collect the shattered porcelain, glancing at the man. He looked horrified, sending an apologetic glance towards you.
After cleaning up and getting the karen a new salad, you hung out by the counter, trying to subtly observe the pair. You saw the man get up from his seat, saying something about using the men’s room, and walk over towards you. He handed you the folded tissue paper discreetly and walked past you to the restroom. You unravelled the note and saw a phone number:
Save me, Please.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
You watched as he walked back to the table and sat down. You knew exactly what he wanted you to do, He needed an escape call. You fished your phone out of your pockets and dialed the number, watching his phone vibrate on the table. He picked it up, and you waited silently on the other line.
“Hello? Yes this is him…. Mhm……What? Oh my god, I’ll be right there!”
He got up hastily, collecting his wallet and dropping a few bills down to cover the tab, and quickly apologised to the woman before rushing out of the restaurant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You finished clearing the last of the tables and got your bag to head home. Today had been an eventful day, and the stranger you had seen for no more than an hour, was running on your mind since he left. You bid farewell to the cook and the guy at the register and stepped out into the cool night.
You felt a chill run down your spine, though you weren't sure if it was from the cold or because of the figure leaning against the alley in the dark. You took a step back but heard a familiar voice that made you stop.
“I was wondering when you would be off your shift.” The man spoke, coming into view.
“Escape call.” You said, letting him know that you recognised him.
“Yeah…I was desperate. Never going on a second date with her again.” He concluded.
“Second date? I thought she was your girlfriend. Heard her call you honey so i assumed..” You said as you started to walk alongside him.
“Oh no, just a blind date my colleagues set me up with. I'm Tim by the way. Could I get the name of my rescuer?” He held out his hand, looking at you expectantly. You offered him your name and shook his hand, relishing the softness of his palm.
He repeated your name wistfully, as if it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. You felt your cheeks redden, even if it was only your name he had said. You could only wish your house was farther away.
You both walked the entire way to your house, conversation flowing easily between you two. You learned that he was a cop, which made sense for no apparent reason. His personality was strong and graceful, drawing you in closer than you ever imagined was possible. You could have talked to him forever if you could, but all good things had to come to an end, just like your walk.
You eventually reached your doorstep and slid your key into the keyhole, careful not to wake up your roommate. you pushed open the door, turning back to face Tim. His eyes refused to leave yours, twinkling with a feeling that you could only describe as longing. Your mouth felt dry as you waited for him to say something. He placed his hand on the door, keeping it open.
“Is there anything I can do to repay you? for being my saviour today?” He asked, eyes darting between your eyes and lips.
You felt a smile spread across your face. Maybe you wouldn't have to say goodbye after all.
✨️
#tim bradford x reader#the rookie#tim bradford#fluff#escape call#the rookie abc#timothy bradford#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#tim bradford imagine#tim bradford x you#timothy bradford fluff#waitress reader#y/n#the rookie f xanfic#tim bradford x fem!reader#the rookie x reader#tim bradford x reader fanfic#tim bradford fic#the rookie fic#tim bradford x y/n#tim bradford fanfiction#tim bradford fluff#blind date
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PAC: A letter you're meant to receive
I'm baaaaack~ (kinda) (pretty casually, life's been tough)
As always here are the rules:
Minors DNI
Don't take everything to heart, this is a general reading! Take what resonates!
It's honest, I don't sugarcoat. If you're not liking what you read, keep scrolling! It may not be for you or you may not be ready for that message yet!
Let's take a look at the piles!!!
Pile 1
Pile 2
Pile 3
Let's go!
Pile 1
Signs this may be for you: unicorn, South Korea , the letter S, Squirrels, Love, Skydiving, birthday, anniversary, 12, 6, 16, 2006, 2001, 2026, 1970s, Billie Eilish, John Lennon, glasses.
Dear ____,
How could you think I'm not proud of you? How could you think that minor thing you did would erase all the love I feel for you? It doesn't. I don't think anything can at this point. You're human, you're allowed to make mistakes. And while I do still think you need help, you're still doing your best, even though you don't feel like it. You're trying and I see that. You're wonderful and magical and although your light is dimmed at the moment, I know there's a bright sun under that blanket of darkness you're currently holding over your head. Everything will be ok. Have you ever not gotten a resolution to your conflict? Trust me. You're going to be fine. Let yourself be, enjoy the people around you, breathe. Treat your life like you treat your dreams. Be as excited as you can. You're alive! And while you are not responsible for this darkness that has been placed upon you, you are the only one that can take it off. I understand it's difficult, but you can do it. You're tired of fighting, but you're not just anyone. You're a legend. Legends don't have it easy. Go get them.
Pile 2
Signs this may be for you: Harry Styles, Fashion school, blood drives, nurse, 😜, smoke, laughter, blonde, blue eyes, "that boy is mine", 0%, Rihanna, water, rain, Hawaii, Jumping, Rave, Cindy, the letter C, N, and A. Numbers 5, 8, and 30, AMANDA.
Hello, it's been a while.
How are you?
This is awkward, you probably didn't expect to hear from me. I have been okay, I honestly can't stop thinking about us and how it ended. It pains me to think that you left with the impression that I didn't care. I do. I did. I just want to let you know that in another life, maybe we should try again. I don't have much to say, I'm not sure why I feel so compelled to tell you this. It's so basic. I'm being channeled right now (ok aware) and it's weird because it shouldn't be this deep but I really wanted to come through and say sorry. And say that I know you miss me and I do too. And one day we will reunite and we might be able to show our love then. Sorry it ended that way. Sorry that was the last you knew of me. I think of you each day, I dream of you each night.
Pile 3
Signs this may be for you: YES GIRL, happy, cheerful, spaghetti, squash, "I'm allergic", ibuprofen, love is in the air, matchmaker, fruits, VSCO, musically, Harmony, dating apps, Jenna, Lisa, "I stan", Twitter account, laughs, pigs, 25, 23, 2022, 2001, 2000, Beyonce.
Wow, am I impressed with you,
Not only are you grown and beautiful, you're also such a good person. I'm immensely proud of you. You're doing exactly what you need to, you're living life to the fullest and I am here for it. Remember our trips to the beach? I miss you. You should call more often. I love that you're meeting new people and having fun but sometimes I need to see you and hear from you. Please call me from time to time. I know I may seem clingy, but I just miss your presence. I also don't know when I'll actually see you next, you've become so unexpected and exciting. I love you, that's why I need to hear from you. Tell me everything, I'll listen. I'm here for you and I want what's best. Come back from time to time. Please. That's the only thing I ask of you at this time. I can't say this to you normally, you'd get uncomfortable. But please listen and take this opportunity. Let's talk more often! I wanna be part of your life again! 🥰
Hope it resonates! 💕
#tarot readings#tarot#free readings#tarot blog#pac tarot#tarot pac#pac#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a pile
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Our wedding menu (Lando Norris x reader)
When your friend leaves you to entertain yourself you decide to try something really new.
or
in which you wanted to have fun and a really handsome, curly haired british boy is your victim.
N.B: just a silly little drabble inspired by this video, hope you guys like it! WARNINGS: not proof read, spelling mistakes maybe? Also, don't do that in public, this is just for fun really. Let me know what you guys think!
masterlist
When people are bored they watch a movie, read a book or maybe go outside and look around. But you weren't feeling like doing any of those things, your friend has left you to go on a date and honestly you can't blame her, the guy was extremely handsome and so so polite, which is why you are currently sitting in a cafe doing what you do best- people watching.
There was an old couple sharing their lunch and smiling (they are what anyone dreams of, in Monaco with each other after however many years of marriages), there was an employee on the phone behind the counter probably arguing with someone by the movements in her hands and the chewing of her own lips, and there was a group of guys (fuck off, why are they so handsome) who you are pretty sure are famous- if the guys, girls and old rich people coming up every few minutes asking for photos and autographs weren't enough of a sign the billboards you've seen scattered around Monaco in your short visit of 4 out of these 9 guys (that's a big ass friend group) were confirmation of them being models at least (which adds up to these looks).
Now you weren't much of a jokester in front of strange people, especially not a group of 9 handsome guys, but hey life is all about trying new things which is why you decided it'd be fun to try and see what their reactions would be.
Standing up you rushed out of the cafe, was it a good idea? No. Did you have enough social energy to pull this off? No. Do you have enough confidence to talk to one handsome dude who is in the middle of his handsome friends? Also no. But none of that stopped you from going to the burger truck a few blocks down asking for 2 double cheeseburgers and 2 chocolate frosties. After taking your receipt you stood in line, waiting for your order.
"I love their variety so much! Everything is available"
"Yes! I am so happy that they have no meat options"
Oh shit. What if he's vegan!
Leaving your place in the line you went back to the cashier and ordered the most appealing name from their non meat menu.
After finally having your food in hand you went back the same way stopping in front of a flower shop, what flowers should you get? would he even accept the flowers? What if he's allergic to flowers?
Opening up Google you searched for the flowers that don't cause allergies, seeing roses on top of the list you decided to get a small bouquet of 4 roses before placing it carefully in your bag (in another zipper away from the food).
Entering the cafe for the 2nd time today you took a look around, extremely happy that the barista kept her word and made sure that all of the tables are taken and the only chair empty is besides the curly haired boy laughing at something his friends have said.
"Hi, I'm sorry to interupt but can I sit here?"
You asked as you looked around the table, upon seeing all of them looking at each other you explained further "it's just that there's no other chairs available, as soon as there is one I'll be gone, promise"
"Oh yes, of course, you can stay as long as you want"
The guy with green? or is it blue? eyes replied, while everyone else gestured for you to take a seat.
"Thank you," as you placed your bag you asked the one question that would decide if you should move on with whatever it was you were going to do "oh, sorry, do you have a girlfriend? I don't want to overstep or make any misunderstandings" you asked the victim of your plan, upon shaking his head you took a seat.
Sitting down you decided to start your plan, fishing the necklace out of the small zipper you turned to the boy sitting beside you holding the necklace between both of you
"Can you please do this for me? I can't reach"
All chatter around the table stopped, you can feel 9 pairs of eyes on you as you gave the boy a small, apologetic smile.
"Oh, uhh- yeah of course," ohhh, he's british, damn you might actually fall in love "let me just figure out how it works."
As he clasped the necklace together you thanked him, moving onto your next step which consisted of you bending down to get your mirror and your lipstick out of the bag, staying in your position you moved the bag a bit to the right before adjusting yourself a bit so that what you're doing would be noticed. Not bringing your mirror onto the table but still visible enough for the 9 guys to see you applying a new layer of lipstick, you can hear them questioning what you are doing and it just made you want to get up and run back to your hotel room.
You already started, no going back now.
Being satisfied with how the lipstick looked you placed it back in the bag before sitting properly, smiling at the blue eyed guy in front of you.
Waiting a bit so that the guy besides you isn't speaking to someone before you move onto the main plan.
Upon seeing him get his phone out you decided to go ahead, it's now or never
"We had a date, no?" you whispered to him as to not get the attention of his friends, at least not this soon.
The man blinked at you before looking around him, wanting to make sure you are talking to him "I'm sorry?"
Before he could even question you any further he saw roses within his eyesight
"These are for you," you pushed the bouquet into his frozen hands "hope it smells as good as you"
Red started covering his face, looking around at his friends, who quietened down as soon as they saw the red roses, searching for an explanation.
When you kept looking at him with that smile he let out a small thanks before smelling the flowers.
Okay, nice, so far so good, why is he so flustered oh my god, he's the cutest.
"Oh, I also bought burgers"
"I'm sorry, what is this about?"
"I also bought drinks, one is oreo and one is hershey, well it was supposed to be hershey kisses but they ran out so let me just," leaning over to him, you kissed his cheek "there you go, now you can take the hershey one"
The other 8 boys howled in laughter at the wide eyed, red faced boy staring at the drink in front of him on the table. He bite his lips, trying to prevent a smile from breaking out onto his face.
You decided to get your phone out and wait a bit before you moved on further with the plan, the group going back to their conversations while the brit besides you kept taking glances at you, thinking you wouldn't notice, but you did and you also noticed that he is not touching his burger, only drinking the frosty.
Dipping your hand into your bag you got out the other burger "that's a non meat burger, bought it just in case."
"Oh," he took the food from your hands, nodding his head in thanks "you didn't have to."
Giving him a full smile you went back to your phone, waiting for him to eat a bit of his sandwhich so you could make the next move. The way he gets flustered and shy makes you want to ask him out on an actual date, he is so fucking pretty.
"Do you like it?"
Nodding, he smiled at you as he gave you a thumbs up as he can't answer while chewing.
"I'm really glad, I was thinking about adding it to our wedding menu," the dark haired man sitting on the other side of the british boy choked onto his drink, looking at their group of friends wanting to make sure that he heard correctly "not as a main dish, more like a snack really."
The boy besides you shrugged, thinking about how a burger truck would look in a wedding.
"Mate, you better not forget my invite if you're gonna have burgers at your wedding."
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fluff#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fic#lando norris#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x female reader
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*bat family going out for dinner and inviting Raven*
Bruce: so where does everyone want to go?
Jason: let’s go to a Steak House!
Damian: you always say that!
Jason: and we never go cause you’re vegetarian!
Damian: find a steak place with vegetarian options and I’ll go!
Bruce: boys! Behave
Tim: why don’t we go to the Mexican place on Main?
Dick: no way! My insides still haven’t recovered!
Jason: not our fault you can’t handle spice
Duke: isn’t there a new restaurant down town
Selina: absolutely not. I just went with Ive and Harley and I am not subjecting my kids to that trash
Steph: what about Chinese?
Damian: Cass is allergic
Steph: shit i forgot! Sorry cass!
Cass: *signs* it’s okay
Bruce: *looks at Raven through the review mirror* Raven? You have any preference or some where specific you’d like to go?
Raven: *shakes head* I’m fine with anything really, I’m not picky
Jason: what about sea food!? There’s a place across from Di’Angelos and they have vegetarian options
Bruce: sounds good to me
Duke: me too
Dick: me three
Cass/steph/dami/tim/; works for me
Raven: *fidgeting with her hands*
Selina: Raven sugar, you okay?
Raven: yes, I’m fine..
Selina: okay
*pulls up to the restaurant*
Jason: finally! I can’t remember the last time I have sea food!
Damian: *opens the door for raven*
Raven: thank you, Dami. *gets out*
Damian: *notices she has an epi pen* what’s that
Raven:..my epi pen..
Bruce: why do you have an epi pen?
Raven: just in case…I go into anaphylaxis..
Jason: why would you go into anaphylaxis?
Raven:…*looks down*
Selina: wait are you allergic to sea food?!
Raven:….*nods*
Dami: what!? Habibti why didn’t you say something!?
Raven: because I didn’t want to be a bother…..since yall invited me out with you..
Bruce: raven speaking up about an allergy is not being a bother! That’s your health and that should always come first.
Tim: how bad is your allergy?
Raven:……
Tim: how bad?
Raven:..I’m already feeling sick and I’m not even in the building yet..
Jason: okay we’re leaving.
Dick: yeah we can go anywhere else. Heck there is an Italian place across the street.
Raven: y’all don’t have to do that.
Dami: Beloved your health is more important than some fucking fish
Steph: agreed.
Dick: And are you okay rn? Do you need some water or anything? You said you felt sick
Raven: no..no I’m okay
Dami: you sure? Cause we can get you some if your not feeling good
Raven: I’m okay..really.
Dick: if you say so..
Steph: Btw, do you do this often?
Raven: do what?
Steph: put your health last instead of speaking up?
Raven:……
Steph: I’ll take that as a yes
*everyone gets back in the car*
Dick: wait if you’re allergic to sea food, than what do you do when there’s a crab boil at the tower?
Raven: lock myself in my room and try not to vomit..or pretend to eat and keep my epi pen close..
Bruce: does Kori not know about this?
Raven:..no
Selina: why not?
Raven: cause I didn’t want to bother anyone with it..
Selina: *sighs* I’m calling her later
Raven: I’m sorry..
Dami: beloved you have nothing to apologize for. It’s okay
Raven: but everyone seemed so happy about sea food and I ruined it
Jason: girl no you didn’t. It’s okay
Raven: but—
Tim: no buts. Hey we can’t eat Chinese when Cass is around, and we keep it away from her at all times. we have no issues with that. And We have no problem doing the same for you.
Cass: *signs* yeah, your family now. We take care of each other
Raven:..🥹
Dami: *kisses her cheek* your stuck with us Beloved.
Jason: yeah. Now, let’s get some pizza!
#damian x raven#damirae#raven dc#raven roth#raven teen titans#damian wayne#robin damian#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#bruce wayne#selina kyle#bruce x selina#stephanie brown#duke thomas
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. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ THE BRIGHTEST STAR - bang chan ࿐ྂ
pairing: nonidol!bang chan x gn!reader
genre: angst, no comfort (i warned you)
warning: mentions of suicide, cursing, the entire drabble is full of hurt
words: 0.8k
synopsis: Chan visits you again. What will you say to you this time?
a/n (1): this drabble is triggering, so please if you are sensitive to the warnings DO NOT read. Your health is my priority and remember that you are not alone, you will never be. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. English is not my first language, so tell me if I made some mistakes.
«hi my love, i’ve missed you. Do you remember what day is it? It’s our anniversary and I really can’t believe that we’ve come this far. The younger me would be so proud to hear I’ve been with the love of my life for six years now. And I would do anything to spend this special day with you. Actually I don’t really want to celebrate. It would be useless if I’m alone.
«I bought your favorite flowers today. Hope you will appreciate them. Do you remember the first time I bought you flowers? They were roses and you were so scared to tell me you were allergic. I felt guilty but when I saw you laughing I thought it was all worthy. Even tho I tried to kill you, hearing and seeing your laugh for the first time was like being transported to heaven. I immediately felt lighter and happier. You’ve always made me the happiest. It’s a shame that happiness is gone now. But it’s not your fault, if anything it’s mine.
«the boys miss you too. You know, one week ago we met all together for the first time after the accident and I tried, I tried so hard to distract myself. I did everything I could, they did everything, but it was all pointless. I told them I was fine, that I felt like I was already moving on, but they were all lies. I can’t help it. I don’t want them to be worried. They’ve already suffered enough and I don’t to be another burden.
«I wrote you a song. Yes, another one. It seems like you are still my biggest inspiration. I really want to sing it to you, but it’s not finished yet. You need to wait just a little more. I promise you, the next time I’ll come with the lyrics. Just wait for me.
«why y/n? Why did you do this to me? Was I not enough? Did you feel like you couldn’t trust me? Why? Why did you not search for help? I would have been there. I would have listened to each of your worries. I would have stayed with you. I would have told you that everything was going to be okay, that you were not alone. So why did you never told me how you were really feeling? Fuck- why? I know that it’s anyone fault, but I feel like I’m the only culprit. I know that i should not be mad at you, but I am. I’m madly angry. I wanna scream, cry and at the same time let everything go. But you will still not come back to me. So why should I try anyway?
«I’ve always seen suicide like a way to die for cowards. I’ve always thought that people who chose it were selfish. But who am I to think about it like that now, if I wasn’t even capable of helping you? I’m the real selfish because in 6 fucking years I wasn’t be able to look into you, to look through you. You were suffering and I didn’t do anything. I tried to blame you when you told me you needed me, so who am I to fucking say you are the selfish one? I’m a mess. I’m a disaster.
«the last time I saw you, you were happier. I remember that I even asked you why. You just told me “today is a beautiful day” and before I left you said “I love you, always will” for the last time. If I only knew. I read somewhere that a star burns brightest in its final moments and I get it now. Every time I look at the sky I always wonder if you are finally happy. When I look at the glowing stars I always think it’s your way to tell me that you are there. You are there and you are okay. You are protecting me.
«I cry. A lot. Even now, I can’t stop crying. The guilt it’s really hard to bear. I can’t even look in the mirror without feeling disgust towards myself. And you would probably be disappointed too if you saw me like this. You want me to be happy, but I can’t. Not without you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t look out for you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when I was supposed to. I’m sorry that i was the worst boyfriend you could ever ask for. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
«will I ever be able to see you again? I really hope so. But I’ll make sure to look at the sky every single night and look out for the brightest star. Because you are there, aren’t you?
«please wait for me, I still have to sing you a song. You will be proud of me, I promise.
a/n (2): hiii, how are you? I’m finally on school break! Sorry if I’m being inactive BUT, apart from school that is really stressing me out, I’m working on a bunch of things (a long ass fic and a smau :)) ). I probably already said this, BUT I’M GOING TO SEE MY STRAY KIDS IN JULY AFTER TWO YEARS, AND I’M THE HAPPIEST. I cannot really wait. Btw, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed it. I also ask you to like it and tell me your opinion about this to help me to improve. Have a good day / night 🫶🏻
#bang chan#bang chris#skz angst#han jisung#hwang hyunjin#i.n fluff#lee know#kim seungmin#lee minho#stray kids fic#bang chan x reader#bang chan x you#bang chan angst#han jisung angst#hyunjin angst#skz x reader#skz scenarios#stray kids x reader#changbin angst#lee know angst#lee felix angst#seungmin angst#yang jeongin angst#stray kids angst#stray kids anniversary
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First choice : Jason Todd x fem!reader
Summary: you don;t know what you have until it's (almost) gone.
A/N: this is lightly based on one particular scene from "little women". If you watched it, you'll know.
Warnings: usual Jason ones - swearing and a bit of angst. Apart from that fluff.
***
��Don’t leave with him.”
„I’m sorry?”
“Don’t. Leave. With. him.”
“And why exactly shouldn’t I?” Y/n crossed her arms over her chest, putting down the t-shirt she was folding before packing it into the suitcase. She was supposed to leave Gotham. Most probably – for good.
And she was not doing this alone.
She was about to go with Tom, the guy she met a couple months ago at work. At first, there was nothing but friendly feeling between them, but he clearly wanted more. So once he got a promotion and was posted to the branch of the company, he went as far as asking the CEO to second Y/N with him. And that got the girl slowly falling for Tom as well and convinced her to give him a chance. Since then, they have been on a couple dates and shared some innocent kisses but this acquaintance was promising. Finally Y/N found someone who would treat her right, who would give her peace, unlike the bats. Of course she loved all the Waynes , but it was a nervous lifestyle and it was slowly taking toll on her health.
And that’s how Y/N ended up picking up her clothes, getting ready to take off and leave everyone and everything behind.
Leaving Jason.
“Why Jace?” she repeated scanning his face “Tom likes me and I like him. Maybe we can work things out between us. Shit, I hope we work things out, cause he might be my only chance for getting in a good relationship.”
“That is bullshit!” Jason exclaimed “You know that! That fucker is doing nothing more than encircling you like a prey! You mean nothing to him.”
“How dare you?!” she took a few steps towards him raising hand, almost slapping him across the face but stopping in the last second. “Nah.” Her eyes flashed “that’s what you want, isn’t it? You play your games, you want to mess with my head. Well, it’s not gonna work.”
“You’re gonna die out of boredom with him. He doesn’t know a single thing about you. For your last birthday he bought you a ticket to the rap show! You hate rap! And one time he took to the restaurant with sea food, which you are allergic to! He’s ordinary! And you know you need thrill! You need night actions! You need working with Babs, with bats, with Red. That’s who you are. ” Before she could move away he grabbed her wrist in an iron clad grip. “
“Let go of me.” She hissed warningly
“No.”
“I said…. Let. Go. Of. Me.”
“And I said no.” their eyes met and this war of nerves and tensed gazes made them both shiver. It was like a lightning between them. The question was, who was going to give in first. “I can’t do that……” he whispered
“Why?!” she cried out “Why are you trying to destroy my only chance for happiness?!”
“Your …. Only chance? Fuck! Y/N are you serious!?”
“YES! For God’s sake, you do nothing but cause havoc! It’s been like that for our whole life!” she yanked free of his hold and moved a few steps back.
“You deserve someone better!”
“Huh. Really? Someone like you, Jason? Someone who will give my heart attacks every night? Someone who will make me worried and creating scenarios of getting hurt, injured, captured or killed? Someone who will ignore me, cut me out, won’t talk to me, keep me in the dark?”
“Princess.”
“Stop calling me that….” She sobbed and started punching his chest. “Why can’t you just let go?”
“You know why….”
“You are being mean. This is not fair!”
“How am I being unfair here?!” he shouted “ME? How can you even say that? I’ve spend half of my life loving you and yet, I’ve always been a second choice for you! How do you think that feels?!”
“What…..? But….?” She stuttered but now he was on the roll.
“Let me remind you. You were 20 when the first guy broke your heart and …..”
“You broke my heart first!”
“What…..?” now it was his turn to stutter
“I cried at your funeral, Jason! I mourned you after you got buried! I was in deep depression for months. Don’t you think that leaves a scar?!”
“But I came back. I came back to you!”
“It doesn’t mean anything! It’s in the past. It’s too late. And don’t say you care, cause you are just acting selfish, as always.”
‘No. No princess. This is not how this Is gonna go. If you need a memory refresher, here we go. When your first boyfriend broke your heart, who was it that hold you, hugged you and did not let go for the whole night you were crying on the couch? Who was there for you? Say it!”
“You were.”
“Yes. And then the next day you were just acting like nothing happened. You run back to him the second he called to apologize. Don’t you think that hurt me?”
“Jace….”
“And every other time when you were broken, scared, worried, shaking in fear or pain who was there for you? Who picked up the pieces? And even then you were always looking up to Dick! My freaking brother! Tell me something, Y/N” he came closer, and she had no way to run, cornered, “why am I always second best for you? Why?”
“Fuck!” she yelled and without any hesitation pushed herself into him locking his lips, letting all the anger, passion and craving for him out. At first he was taken aback, a bit, and the first thought that came to his mind was that he was going to end up alone and played by her again, but the way her body aligned with his, so damn close, so damn perfect got him crumbling. Out of instinct, he took a step forward, trapping her between the wall and his body, grasping her neck and tangling hand in her soft hair, the other gripping her hip pulling her closer. “you were never….” She gasped pulling for air “you were never second….. fuck, Jason.” Y/N fisted his jacket with a mix of anger and frustration.
“Don’t leave with him” he begged caressing her back, desperate to keep her with him, desperate enough to swallow his pride and get on his knees “I don’t want you to leave. Please Y/N. Stay. Stay with me.” He nudged her nose with his, mouth hanging open, brushing over hers, so damn close, wanting nothing but to kiss her again, but at the same time unable to.
‘I’m tired of playing games, Jace…..” she whispered closing her eyes.
“This is not a game, you know it….”
“Then say it. Say it to prove it to me.”
“I love you. I’ve always loved you. But I was so scared of this feeling. For so fucking long.”
“And now….?”
“Now I want you. If you’ll take me…’ he couldn’t hide that pleading tone in his voice. He was begging her to want him, to need him. So desperate to not be tossed away like a used cloth, to not be forgotten and abandoned, not again. He begged her to love him back.
“I will.” Tears started falling down her cheeks. “I…. I will….I love you too, Jace…..” She sobbed and her whole body shook because of that. “But….” She swallowed hard and took a sharp inhale “Promise me you won’t hurt me. Promise me you won’t break my heart. Promise me you’ll love me right and won’t hide things from me….. please….I don’t want to be hurt again…..”
“Oh, baby….” He wrapped his strong arms around her, engulfing her in his warmth, hiding his own tear-stained face in her hair, kissing her head repeatedly. Only now he realized that they were both equally broken, life in Gotham and their past making them so similar. They were both scared of being alone, unloved. Having that belief that all life would offer them was scraps. “I swear. I swear to you……” he struggled to say those words because of the lump in his throat. ”you are my first choice too….” Jason added and her arms tightened around his waist. “will you stay now?”
“Yes….” She pulled back and looked into his eyes, filled with hope, relief, love and care, just like hers. “I’ll deal with tom later, but now… can you just hold me like this more? I need this. I need you.”
“You have me, baby. I’m yours. And don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of the man who wanted to take you away from me…..”
“I seriously hope that’s not a death threat, Red.” She laughed lightly and it was the prettiest sound Jason ever heard.
“Can’t make any promises on that…..”
#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd angst#jason todd imagine#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x oc#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#red hood fanfiction#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood x fem!reader#red hood#red hood x y/n#jason todd fluff#red hood fluff#fluff#dc fluff#jason todd fic#red hood x oc#red hood x you
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AITA for telling my roommate that they are being an inconsiderate jerk?
I (25f) moved in with her (28f) and her then bf (29m and related to me) two years ago. About a year and a half into living with them there was an indecent with her partner and he ended up being removed.
I asked her to give me a two month heads up if she ever wanted to move out as I am low income and priced out of the area we live in, so I would need more time to find a room mate.
She agrees and months go by and she says how happy she is to live with me. Then one day I am chatting causally with my landlords and they ask what my plans are for when my room mate moved out. They were concerned I hadn’t reached out to them as I only had 2 days to make a decision before I was locked into another month.
I reached out to my roommate (who was on the opposite work schedule to me) and asked what it was about and she just said “yeah sorry :( wanted to tell you in person”
I told her yes I understand that she needs a change but I had less then two days to figure out what to do.
She said she was sure I would be fine and when I said it was likely that I would need to quit my job and move home and not telling me was inconsiderate she told me to stop trying to guilt trip her into staying and if i was that upset she would come clean her own stuff out of the apartment.
Two weeks later I am i try to apologize to her about what I had said and she slammed her bedroom door in my face. The next day (the day I write this) I found she had replaced all the laundry detergent (including my own) to one that causes a severe allergic reaction that requires hospitalization to treat.
My mom tells me I’m being an asshole and I shouldn’t have called her inconsiderate. But AITA here?
What are these acronyms?
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That Type of Girl Part 1
Pairing: Dean x reader (Eventual), Sam x reader (Platonic)
Warnings: language, unrequited love, slight angst, some fluff
This is the first fic I have ever written, all mistakes are my own. Please be gentle on me!
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I had never been the type of girl that men would look at twice. I have always been on the heavy side of the scale. I have a big gut, small ass, and ok sized boobs. After struggling with my confidence for a better part of my life, when I hit my 20’s I stopped caring about what others thought of me. But I would still wear clothes a size or two too big. But I felt confident (for the most part). I didn’t give a rats ass what most people thought of me, which definitely helped when it came to hunting.
My life changed forever when I met the Winchesters. Sam was like the big brother I never had. Dean…well, that was a different story. Everything in me knew the moment I met him, that he was something special. The way he could make me laugh, make me smile, make me feel appreciated. No one had ever made me feel the things he did. But I knew he would never see me as more than a friend, and after some time I was ok with that. I knew a man like him would never even consider being with a girl like me.
“What ya thinking about Y/N?” said Sam. We were currently sitting in a roadside bar after we finished our most recent hunt. Of course Dean was busy flirting with some gorgeous blonde, leaving Sam and I to our own devices.
“Just thinking about what life would be like if we weren’t hunters.” I lied of course. I was thinking about why couldn’t I be the type of girl Dean would turn to for more than friendship. Something I thought about pretty frequently.
“Do you really want that type of life ?” Sam stated with a curious look on his face.
“Hell no, I’m not made for normal. Just always like to think about where I would be ya know? Would I be married, have 2.5 kids, and a full time job or would I be a crazy cat lady.” I giggled.
“Well considering you're allergic to cats you definitely would not be a crazy cat lady.” Sam was laughing.
“You’re right Sammy, guess there goes that day dream.” I said. I couldn’t stop watching Dean. I really needed to find something else to occupy my time.
“You know I see how you look at him.” Sam said.
“I don’t know what you mean Sammy.” I replied.
“Y/N you should tell him how you feel, you never know he may feel the same way.” Sam looked at me with an optimistic grin.
“Yeah right Sam, I’m going to the restroom then I’m heading out. You boys can stay and have some much deserved fun.” I got up to head towards the restroom, if only Sam knew how deep I was in.
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The following day after returning to the bunker the night before, I got up around 6:00 to make the boys breakfast. It was something I did every now and then, even though I made a pretty shitty cook. I rolled out of bed and put some shorts on. I had an old AC/DC shirt on (I didn’t bother wearing a bra since the shirt was baggy), threw my hair up in a messy bun and was ready to get to work. I made my way to the kitchen as quietly as I could. Evidently I tend to stomp when I walk in the bunker halls (according to Sam), so it is something I am trying to work on. I got the eggs and bacon out. Scrambled would have to be it for today because I don’t have the patience to try anything else. Sam made his way into the kitchen as I was finishing up with the bacon.
“Well good morning sunshine!” Sam sang.
“Damn Sammy can you keep it down somewhat, you know how I feel about being happy first thing in the morning.” I covered my ears.
“Oh yes so sorry grumpy pants” Sam laughed.
“I’m pretty sure you are like the only person I have ever seen to be so excited at 6:30 in the morning.” I finished putting some eggs on a plate for him.
“Well why are you up so early anyway? You made us breakfast?” Sam asked.
“Well yes you big giant, I did. I felt like doing something nice even if I am a grumpy pants.” I sat his plate down in front of him.
“Well I appreciate it and I’m sure Dean will too. Where is Dean?” Sam took a bite of his eggs.
“Pretty sure he is still sleeping, I’ll wake him up on my way to shower. How does it taste?” I asked.
“It is actually pretty good, way to go Y/N you have finally learned how to make eggs!” Sam was laughing. I enjoyed the teasing banter we had with one another, it made me happy that we didn’t always have to take things so seriously.
“Haha very funny, looks like now I will have to cook more often.” I stated as I walked out of the kitchen.
Heading down the hall I stopped at Dean’s room. I opened his door slightly, he was sprawled out over his bed snoring loudly. Blondie must have tired him out last night. I usually don’t like waking him up because he has such a hard time sleeping. Especially lately but I knew he would be pissed if he missed out on bacon. I made my way over to him.
“Dean” I whispered.
“Dean I made breakfast” I patted his shoulder.
He rolled over and opened his eyes. Looking at me in a way that almost made me blush.
“Hey sweetheart, what time is it?” he asked.
“7:00” I stated.
“Damn I actually slept in some, that was amazing.”
I’m sure it was, I stated to myself. Damn my jealousy.
“Well I just wanted to let you know there is eggs and bacon, Sam said that I actually learned how to make eggs so guess that means they are good this time. I laughed. “ I’m gonna take a quick shower then I will meet you back out there” I said.
“You had me at bacon” he got up and stretched.
“Well good morning sleeping beauty” stated Sam.
“God it smells amazing in here” Dean said with a grin.
Dean loaded up a plate with tons of bacon and a few scoops of eggs.
“Damn this is awesome” Dean moaned.
“Would you like me to give you some alone time with that?” Sam laughed.
“Sammy, she seriously knows how to make my damn morning. This bacon might be the best I have ever eaten.”
“Well she has been up since 6 working on it so I’m glad you are enjoying it.” Sam was reading something on his laptop now.
“What would we do without her?” Dean wondered aloud.
“What would we do without who?” I stated as I made my way back into the kitchen. I had taken a quick shower and changed into jeans and a flannel. Baggy of course. I never wore tight fitting shirts. My hair was still a little wet but I wanted to make sure the boys were taken care of before I moved on with my routine.
“You sweetheart, you are seriously too good to us.” Dean stated, staring at me.
I blushed, “Well I would do anything to make your guys day a little better.” Sam looked at me with a knowing look, please dear lord do not let him say anything.
Sam continued reading something on his laptop without saying a word.
“Well I’m gonna head to the library to check out this book I need, do you guys need anything?” asked Sam.
“I’m good, thank you though Sammy.” I stated.
“Unless you are stopping at the store, in that case we need pie.” Dean said while stuffing his face with more bacon.
“Of course Dean, I will make sure to get your precious pie.” Sam said while laughing.
With Sam gone, I struggled to find something to say to Dean but the silence was killing me.
“What time did you guys end up coming home last night?” I asked. I really didn’t want to know but yet I needed to.
“Uh not too long after you, it was kinda a bust.” stated Dean.
“What happened to Blondie?” I asked without even thinking.
Dean looked up at me, “She was talking my ear off about her ex. I told her if she couldn’t stop thinking about him then she probably needed to talk it out with him.”
Good I thought to myself, I knew he deserved a good time but I am glad he struck out. I really need to stop thinking like this.
“Well I am sure you will have better luck next time” I said with a smile. It took everything in me to muster that up.
“Nah next time we need to work on finding someone for you.” Dean stated.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well I know it's been awhile since you have found a guy for you, so I figured I could help you look.” Dean said with a shrug.
Did he seriously think I wanted to find someone? I really was not the love them and leave them type. I tended to get too attached. So I just took care of things on my own. Plus it was hard to find someone to spend the night with when you are desperately in love with someone else.
“I’m really not interested Dean. I would rather just drink and make a fool of myself.” I laughed.
“Come on Y/N, I’m sure you could use a night of romance or whatever you want to call it” Dean looked at me.
Anytime I had even considered taking a guy home they would make comments about my body. Which usually ended with my fist bleeding and the guy laying on the bar floor.
“Dean, do you seriously not remember the last time I looked for a guy, he ended up calling me a fat bitch and I knocked his lights out.” I picked at my nails. I couldn’t look at his face right now.
“Yes I remember, that was just one shitty guy. I have faith we can find a good one.” Dean got up to clear his plate.
The one guy I want doesn’t want me so I really don’t want to try to find another one. I will just end up with my feelings hurt and my confidence wounded. It’s not worth it to me.
“I appreciate the offer truly, but I don’t want a night of romance. I just want to spend a night with my two best friends. That’s it. Can we please drop it?” I got up to start working on the dishes.
“If that is what you want Y/N.” Dean looked at me softly. “I will get them sweetheart, the least I can do since you cooked.” Dean started working on the dishes.
"Thanks" I said. "I'm gonna go finish fixing my hair." I made my way out of the kitchen as fast as I could. I wish he could understand how I felt, but this is one area in which Dean and I are very different.
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester series#supernatural#dean winchester fanfiction#spn fanfiction#spnfamliy#plus size reader
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almost forgot to fill out this fun ask game, tagged by @chernozemm!
1. Are you named after anyone? if by 'named after' you mean i stole his identity by using his nickname as a teen and now i show up in google searches more than him, sure 🫢 also my mum gave me the middle name she was supposed to have before her dad fucked up the papers and gave her a different one.
2. When was the last time you cried? rewatched the good place a few months ago and fuckin wailed over that finale, again
3. Do you have kids? no ty
4. What sports do you play/ have you played? i am allergic to most forms of movement (but i do love swimming)
5. Do you use sarcasm? only when it's meant to be silly/funny to burn my friends. then yes too often
6. What is the first thing you notice about people? probably how often they talk, if they wait to let other people speak.
7. What's your eye color? blessed with a very pretty brown that goes all soft and light in the sun ✨
8. Scary movies or happy endings? SCARY SCARY SCARY 🔪 i like a satisfying end, even if it doesn't work out "happily"
9. Any talents? i have perfect pitch! altho my singing voice has lost about 80% of its range from HRT
10. Where were you born? a pretty beach town in NSW
11. What are your hobbies? i chronically pick up and immediately drop new hobbies, so i'm in between interests right now (wish i was joking) but i've got gel nail extensions, embroidery, reading, clay sculpture, and working out on the back burner.
12. Do you have any pets? oliver my chihuahua, and bailey my mini lop rabbit :) we also live with @thewolveswolf's cat mikasa. lots of white fur in this household.
13. How tall are you? 5'5"
14. Favorite subject in school? art 😩🤌 hyper fixation gonna fixate.
15. Dream job? i LOVE my current art work, but i still kind of wish i could experience being a full time author. imagine that, pulling in a living just from writing about my guys all day. i'm so looking forward to teaching as well, i think uni level lecturing would be my dream teaching environ.
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almost uploaded a picture of my bank statement instead of this header! happy days!
thanks for the tags @hippolotamus @kiwiana-writes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @rmd-writes
@nancygillianmvp @terramous @tellmegoodbye @freneticfloetry @beautifulhigh
@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites and @strandnreyes (don't think that was a real tag but i'm taking it anyway to force you to love me).
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
49 (last time it was 46 but i feel like that isn't enough of a difference? disappointed in myself dfhskjh)
2. What's your Ao3 bodycount word count?
1,119,086 which does include some co-writes, but I also have around 200k of unposted WIP in my google docs so i'm counting it (including a fully written fic - someone put their hands around my neck and force me to edit it PLEASE).
3. Which fandoms do you write for?
red white and royal blue, 911 lone star, top gun maverick (flirting with winter's orbit always)
4. Top 5 fics by kudos?
the order of these has changed but not the identity:
Speak for Yourself (RWRB) (you know when eminem said he'd never be able to top My Name Is? this is my version of that)
Fifty First Dates (RWRB) (oodie agenda reigns supreme)
The RIng-In (Lone Star) (otherwise, lone star is in danger of being eviscerated from this top 5 lmao)
(Not) A Cinderella Story (RWRB) (NDAs are hot, apparently)
Cursed is a State of Mind (RWRB) (cursed caffeine is the main drawcard let's not lie)
5. Do you respond to comments?
i try my absolute best to. i am currently really behind and i apologise for that (the problem is, i reply to comments before i post anything and i haven't posted anything in ages).
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
serious answer - Contaminated
my answer - oh baby i'm a fool for you because we never find out if they actually watch twilight and that's a damn shame
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
literally everything else - i don't really do open endings or sad endings! in the words of the great philosopher, skepta: "nah, that's not me."
8. Do you get hate on fics?
i used to, but i haven't in ages! thank god for that.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yes, although i have to say i've been moving away from pwp lately. i feel my best smut is written into longer fics where the sex serves a plot or characterisation purpose within the frame of the overarching narrative.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
yes, a RWRB/LS but i never finished it. ALTA is a veronica mars inspired tarlos fic which kind of feels like a crossover at times.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge :)
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! Phonography (Lone Star) has been translated, as has Baby, Make Your Move (Lone Star) and Warm Whispers (Lone Star). I'm very grateful to the incredible people who have made these translations happen - you are so talented.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
yes, many with @dustratcentral. I also wrote a chapter of a co-written fic with a whole bunch of incredible RWRB authors called never the same twice.
@rmd-writes and I have created (Un)Professional Services and (upcoming) Call Me (By Your Name).
The Rainbow Fish was co-written with @strandnreyes.
I love co-writing so much and I am always open to anyone who wants to give it a go!
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
me + my unposted wips.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
probably the aforementioned crossover which was apparently also my answer last time.
16. What are your writing strengths?
i'm allergic to giving myself compliments but i would say maybe dialogue/banter and worldbuilding.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
keeping things short. also, exposition.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
kinda scared to because i don't speak any other languages and i'm so hesitant to annoy my very talented multi-lingual friends with my annoying questions.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
we don't talk about that.
20. Favourite fic you've written?
probably still Love Game because the experience was just so amazing and i never wanted to stop writing it.
heaps of people have already done this so leaving an open tag and also a couple of suggestions under the cut but apologies if you've already participated or been tagged 7 million times:
@bonheur-cafe @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @indomitable-love @eclectic-sassycoweyes
@tailoredshirt @vineofroses @liminalmemories21 @mikibwrites @birdclowns
@ladytessa74 @basilsunrise @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @rosedavid @sanjuwrites
@alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @marjansmarwani @dumbpeachjuice @doublel27
@lemonlyman-dotcom @blueink3 @ambiguouspenny @clottedcreamfudge @emmalostinwonderland
@sail-not-drift @inexplicablymine @celeritas2997 @cricketnationrise @reyesstrand
@goodways @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @sunshinestrand @sherryvalli
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The day starts with an important conversation, one we've been meaning to have for a while now, about the baby. Today, I'm heading to the hospital so that I can get things checked out, a routine visit to make sure everything is going okay. It should be an ordinary check up but I can't help but feel nervous.
Pascal has been unusually quiet all morning. Sometimes he's just like that, maybe he's focused on his next game or something but I do think it has something to do with the baby and my thoughts are confirmed when he finally does speak up. "Will you find out if its a boy or a girl," he asks, genuinely curious.
"Should I?" I reply, wanting his opinion, needing to let him know that it is valuable when talking about our child.
Pascal messes with the food on his plate, yes, pancakes again, and seems to think about it. "Yeah, yeah, I would like to know. I've been curious about it for the past few days. It would be cool to have a Pascal Jr."
That brings a small smile to my lips because it is nice to know that he's been thinking about it. Sometimes he feels so stoic and detached that I've worried that he's indifferent towards it but perhaps that is just how he is.
Sara calls me, her voice bubbling with excitement the moment I pick up. Yep, she's talking about her new guy and sure enough she's telling me that they are officially a thing, boyfriend and girlfriend.
I'm happy for her, especially since she's thought she'd just be single for the rest of her life. Whoever this new guy is I hope he treats her right!
She really wants to talk more about him, gush about him really, but I can't, I do have that doctor visit to go to after all.
And so, I head to the hospital, one step closer to becoming a mom. After a brief wait I'm led to my room and meet the doctor. She seems cordial and warm but also very much down to business. Messing with her machine as she asks routine questions. You know, do you drink, any drugs, are you allergic to anything, stuff like that.
Once that is out of the way and the machine is on she asks me to lay down and relax. Once I do she brings out the...ummm, I'm not sure what any of these things are called, but its placed on my bump, the gel feels a little cold but other than that I don't feel anything.
"Everything looks good Ms. Varela," she says after looking at the screen for a few moments. "And it looks like you are having a girl! Congratulations!"
"O-oh!" I'm not really sure how to react! Honestly, girl, boy, whatever, I just hope they are healthy! Ten fingers, ten toes, you know?
"Just remember, taking care of yourself is taking care of your baby!"
I make it home with a new kind of energy buzzing inside of me because knowing I'll be having a daughter just helps it put it all into focus. I'm also starving, of course, but I feel like I'm hungry for at least half of the day these days.
I'm having a daughter! The thought just nestles warmly in my mind, surrounded by possible names and just endless possibilities of all the things we might do together, all the things I can't wait to teach her, and I'm just so ready to hold her and adore her that it's hard to focus on cooking.
I guess I am making sweet bread, something light and well, sweet, because I keep craving sugary and sweet things aaand maybe that has something to do with the baby? Maybe she'll be a sweet spirit? I sure hope so!
The bread turns out wonderful, by the way, golden and perfectly shaped and turns out being the perfect little treat! It's not enough to fill me, I'm sure I'll be looking for something else to eat a little later in the night but I don't regret it at all.
After though I'm a little confused about what to do with the rest of my day. The stand took up a lot of my days and now that its on pause I'm often just sitting around thinking about my pregnancy.
I really don't feel like opening the stand today and can you blame me? The idea of standing outside in likely 100 degree weather while pregnant doesn't sound like a good one. That won't pause my career, no no no, I'm not one for standing still after all. I've been keeping in touch with Ray which yes, feels strange after all we've been trhough but I think I've found a strong ally here, a super valuable associate.
I've been wondering more specifically if it would be a good idea to start my own Simtube channel. He thinks it's a great idea, not just a great one, but he's willing to help. I'm not really sure how I'll navigate through those waters but I'm sure willing to try!
I thought the day would be winding down after that but a knock at my door tells me not quite yet. It's Marjorie and she's standing outside flashing a wide and confident smile. It's kind of odd seeing her over since I do believe she lives in the gym so I can't help but wonder what brings her over today.
"When are you heading back to the gym?" she asks with a teasing grin this time, knowing exactly why I've been missing. As usual, I can't help but rub my belly, it almost feels instinctual if anyone even thinks about my baby.
"Some time," I say back. I'm really in no rush for it either. "Why? How is it with ummm, the crush?"
"My crush?" She asks as if she forgets our last conversation at the gym.
"Yes? C-crush? At the gym?" As usual my simlish is not that great so I try to keep things short and simple but her confused look makes me think I've said something wrong. I hope I'm using the word 'crush' right.
"Ah! Yes, that guy..." she nods but I can tell the spark she had for this gym trainer must have fled and I soon know why. "Turns out he's a little rough. I mean, in a demanding kind of way? You know how some of those types are, always pushing, always expecting more and more," she waves it off as if she has move don, maybe she has. "Once you get that thing out of there you'll have to head back, you'll be carrying baby weight, you know?"
"Oh!" I hadn't really thought of that. Pregnancy takes such a toll on you physically for sure but mentally as well, I forgot that the weight I put on will not magically disappear once my little girl is introduced to the world. "Y-yes, yes, this is right," well, I guess it will be something to do post-pregnancy? I'll worry about that when the time comes, right now, I'm more focused on just giving her a healthy environment to grow in...
Frida Varela Index ~ Episode 7.3
#The Sims#The Sims 4#ts4#Sims#Sims 4#sims legacy#my sims#generation 1#soot#sims of our time#frida varela#marjorie whipple#pascal alcocer
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