#its like eating cheese while being lactose intolerant to me

[sinsofsinister]

sometimes you just gotta find ur cat and bury ur face deep in their fur and take a sniff while they look at you like ?¿? as you leave its good for you its good for the soul

[deja-mew]

Ridiculous Headcanons Pt. 1

Sorry in advance y’all. Okay so I was so bored at work my brain was rotting thinking of TFP characters for so long that I have this. Here’s what I think each character’s favorite cheese would be, if either they were human at some point and tried it, or could taste a big enough chunk as cybertronians; whatever excuse needs to be for them to have any opinion about cheese. (also could just be them as cheeses… idk, I work in Wisconsin, I’m always surrounded by cheese, this is what happens.)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Autobots

Optimus Prime: Optimus liked Colby Jack. Good, classic Colby Jack. He likes the two distinctive colors and just generally enjoys the flavor.

Arcee: Pepper Jack; well loved, timeless, and packs a punch too. She likes that it’s soft but not sweet. Also, Jack being in the name is a bonus.

Bumblebee: Velveeta. The color is great and it’s a universal, famous cheese; everyone knows it (at least in the USA), just like him. He had it in a mac & cheese and stuck with it as his favorite. (he strikes me as a mac & cheese sort of guy)

Bulkhead: He’d chose brick cheese because it has a good, versatile, underrated taste. Also, just like him, this cheese is softer than its name implies <3

Wheeljack: Cheetos. He didn’t care that they “technically wont count as a cheese”, they’re cheese flavored enough and they’re what he likes. Especially the flamin’ hot ones.

Smokescreen: Cheese curds. Warm, squeaky, proper cheese curds. Specifically the ranch flavored ones are his top pick.

Ultra Magnus: This was how Ultra Magnus found out he was lactose intolerant. He didn’t like any of them, and he won’t be asked to try again.

Ratchet: Ratchet chose blue cheese, purely because the flavor was so distinctive. It’s also a very mature choice of cheese, which just made sense for him. 

Decepticons

Megatron: Monterey Jack. The warlord refused to consume any cheeses but picked Monterey Jack just because to him, it sounded like an evil version of Colby Jack.

Starscream: Cheese whiz..?? When presented with the samples he didn’t bother to try anything, but automatically went for the can of cheese whiz, as if he already knew it..??? (He did what he had to do when he was rogue. Ik it doesnt make sense but its hilarious.)

Soundwave: Mozzarella. Soundwave had already heard of cheese on the internet indirectly throughout his few years of needing to interact with human information in order to serve Megatron. Because he understood mozzarella cheese to be a monumentally important cheese to human society, he internally likened himself to it, being himself monumentally important to the Decepticon cause. No one knew that this was why he chose mozzarella, they were just glad that he responded at all. 

Shockwave: When Shockwave received the cheese samples he did not taste anything and instead just.. Left to his lab and ran some tests.. After a while he decided on feta cheese, saying that it is among the healthiest of cheeses and therefore, for nutritional purposes, is the most logical choice.

Knockout: Camembert. It’s soft and fancy and french and… He hardly tasted much it, but liked pronouncing it, and appreciated that he could spread it on a cracker instead of getting a giant chunk stuck all up in his teeth.

Breakdown: Breakdown chose Parmesan cheese because he had once seen in a movie the grater that is used at restaurants where they just keep cranking it. He said it tasted as good as it looked in the movie.

Dreadwing: Dreadwing thought that Provolone was the ideal cheese. It seemed the most sensible.

St3v3: String cheese was St3v3’s pick, even though it is technically mozzarella. For him, it was a texture thing.

Airachnid: Cazu Marzu. It’s that maggot cheese that can kill you if you eat it. It wasn’t even on the sample plate, she just brought it herself.

Predacons

Predaking: Predaking chose smoked Gouda. He did admit that the smoke added a touch of familiarity to the cheese (seeing as, of course, breathing fire exposes you to plenty of smoky smells). Overall, he thought they were all pretty good, but somehow this was the only smoked one on the plate, so he chose it.

Skylynx: Skylynx thought the aged Swiss wasn’t that bad. The bitterness was enjoyable to him, and he found it best melted.

Darksteel: Limburger. It was the most controversial cheese on the plate, and that just made him think it was the most exciting one. The smell didn’t even bother him much, and he genuinely enjoyed the flavor.

[the-kr8tor]

Headcanons? Headcanons!

I never did Headcanons, but let’s see how it goes

-He totally inhales his food, like yk Kirby? That’s him. And plus he never gets bloated or sick! It almost feels like he got some hammerspace in his stomach, bc after eating 3gallons of food he is still that damn stickbug with abs and stuff (does he even have a sixpack? I dunno.)

-He is so TENDER HEADED. You can’t braid his hair without him whining or hissing or whatever thing he does (me)

-Def forces you to do his braids or hair in general when he wants and needs to, and if you can’t? Well too bad cuz you now have to watch 300 tutorial videos while the angle is so weird that you can’t see anything. Your hands are slowly getting sore while you’re doing his hair step by step, squinting your eyes in order to figure out what needs to be done. You are def getting irritated because of those ‘tutorials’ that when Hobie hisses at A BIT OF TENSION you want to smack his head.

-Due to his hair, he probably has like a 100 step hair routine with a cute pink silk bonnet (it def has a sweet bow)

-Probably has either thousands allergies or is lactose intolerant (still drinks milk and eats mac and cheese (not billie and ramona⁉️) and says that he doesn’t believe in being allergic to smt)

-HE HATES TEA!!! I feel like he and Ekko would come along so good, cuz they just don’t like tea (the only exception is when Mayday/ or Billie and Ramona play tea time with pink tutus and tiaras (pinkies are def sticking out and not touching the cup❗️))

-At home he’s either a princess or the most ‘homeless’ person ever, sometimes his boat can be so dirty as if he never heard of cleaning or smt. And yet sometimes he can be such a spoiled princess like srs, I see him walking in his soft pink bonnet and a flowy robe, scrunching his face in a disgusted expression when he sees a BIT OF DUST 🤏 or when he sees a fly and he just did his skin care.

“babeee, kill it!!” *whining voice*

“Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“I just did my skincare! I can’t do it, I will break out again!!” AND YET HE NEVER GETS ACNE 🫵

-sometimes you gotta ask yourself who the passenger princess is in the relationship, bc while he is wearing pink and silk pyjamas, you are def wearing an oversized punk shirt of his with his boxers or smt

YEESS MORE HEADCANONS

Oh he has a six pack! Source: me, I saw it believe me

When I read tender headed all i saw in my head is that one baby doll meme where its head is caved in 😭😂🤣

Oh I'd gladly learn how to do his hair!

Lol I also think he's lactose intolerant! Not b and r!

GASP! A BRITISH MAN WHO HATES TEA?! HOW SACRILEGIOUS!

I wanna be his passenger princess tho 😍

[niveshkakkar]

Foods You Should Eat for Stronger Teeth

Foods You Should Eat for Stronger Teeth

Overall oral health depends on having strong, healthy teeth, and nutrition is a major factor in reaching this objective. Just Search for the Best Dentist Near Me All Over Known as Dr. Nivesh Kakkar oral Clinic in Ashok Vihar, New Delhi, stress the value of particular meals that can support oral health and strengthen teeth. This blog will discuss the many foods that support dental health, their advantages, and how to include them in your regular diet.

The Role of Nutrition in Dental Health

Your diet has a direct impact on the condition of your teeth. Foods high in vitamins, minerals, and other vital elements can lower the risk of cavities, promote gum health, and strengthen tooth enamel. On the other hand, gum disease and tooth decay can result from eating foods high in sugar and acid. You may greatly improve your oral health by making educated food choices.

Foods That Strengthen Teeth

1. Dairy Products

Calcium and phosphates, which are essential for healthy teeth, are abundant in dairy products like milk, cheese, and yogurt. The casein protein in dairy products stabilizes and restores tooth enamel, while calcium aids in its growth and repair. It has been demonstrated that cheese, in particular, raises the mouth's pH level, lowering the risk of tooth decay. Think about fortified plant-based substitutes, such as soy milk, if you have a lactose intolerance.

2. Leafy Greens

Vitamins and minerals included in leafy greens, such as collard greens, spinach, and kale, support dental health. Their high folic acid and calcium content can assist to fortify gums and teeth. Because of their fibrous structure, these veggies demand a lot of chewing, which increases saliva production, which is crucial for counteracting the acids that oral bacteria produce.

3. Crunchy Fruits and Vegetables

Apples, carrots, celery, and other fruits and vegetables that need to be chewed a lot are good for your teeth. These crunchy foods promote salivation while removing food particles and plaque. Malic acid, which is found in apples, can aid in the removal of tooth surface stains. Vitamin A, which is abundant in carrots, is necessary to keep gums healthy.

4. Nuts and Seeds

For your teeth, nuts like almonds and seeds like sesame seeds make excellent treats. They are low in sugar and high in protein and calcium. By supplying vital nutrients for strong teeth, the good fats in nuts also support general oral health.

5. Fatty Fish

Omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D are abundant in fatty fish, such as salmon. While vitamin D aids in the body's efficient absorption of calcium, omega-3 fatty acids offer anti-inflammatory qualities that promote gum health. Eating fatty fish can help maintain healthy gums and strong teeth.

6. Green Tea

In addition to being a delicious beverage, green tea has other dental advantages. It includes catechins, which are potent antioxidants that attack the germs that cause plaque accumulation and help reduce inflammation. Fluoride, which is necessary to strengthen tooth enamel, can also be obtained by drinking green tea.

7. Whole Grains

Because of their high fiber content and vital elements like iron and B vitamins, whole grains like brown rice, oats, and quinoa are good for your teeth. These nutrients enhance general health and promote gum health.

8. Water

Maintaining ideal dental health requires drinking plenty of water. Water encourages the production of saliva, your body's natural defense against cavities, and helps wash away food particles and bacteria from the mouth. By offering more defense against decay, drinking fluoridated water can improve your dental health even more.

Foods to Avoid

While certain foods can strengthen your teeth, others can contribute to decay:

Sugary Snacks: Sugary drinks, candies, and cookies encourage the growth of dangerous bacteria that cause tooth decay by producing acids.

Acidic foods include soda, pickles, and citrus fruits, which can erode enamel if ingested in excess.

Sticky Foods: Bacteria thrive on foods that stick to teeth, such as caramel or dried fruits.

Conclusion

A straightforward yet efficient method to maintain good oral health and strengthen your teeth is to include tooth-friendly foods in your diet. A balanced diet full of dairy products, leafy greens, crunchy fruits and vegetables, nuts, fatty fish, whole grains, green tea, and lots of water is what we at Dr. Nivesh Kakkar Dental Clinic advise our patients to eat.

Keep in mind that maintaining strong teeth requires both routine dental checkups and appropriate oral hygiene habits, such as brushing twice a day with fluoride toothpaste. Please get in touch with us if you need expert dental care guidance or if you have any issues regarding your diet! You should take the greatest care of your smile!

[the-whispers-of-death]

while on the topic of coffee, its actually pretty poisonous to cats and dogs.. which is also raising the question of "how bad does poisonous foods to animals affect hybrids" because dominic certainly dont give a fuuuuck when requesting it

mārīte's staring at the fact that cats cant eat raisins and is just. ignoring it, and keeps shoveling them in her mouth. they can cause lethargy, an upset stomach and vomiting. so. if you see her writhing like a sad worm next to a half-eaten raisin bag.. you know what happened. no regrets, she does the same thing again a week later.

i think its way funnier if its similar "guy who's lactose intolerant eats a kilogram of cheese because fuck it, its worth it being in the bathroom for 2hours afterwards" lol. maybe it just translates to a mild allergic reaction instead of a full-on deadly poison

~ rusty

Stone, bearing every raisin bag in the house: We'll no longer be buying raisins. Nope, no raisins.

Stone, turning to Bloodhound and smacking the cup of coffee out of his hand: And actually, no more coffee too! No more poisonous things for my family.

Bloodhound: I shouldn't have taken this job.

Stone: I'm not paying you, did Heartthrob tell you I was paying you to do Dominic's job while he's on vacation?

Bloodhound: What the fuck do you mean you're not paying me???

...I think I just got Heartthrob kicked to the couch.

[loudestcloud]

Character inspired meals: supernatural

Starter: Caesar Salad - Romaine lettuce

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sam~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dessert: Dairy free Strawberry cheesecake -

parmesan cheese, crisp croutons, caesar salad dressing

Main: American Pasta Salad - Bow-tie pasta, feta cheese, sweet basil, sliced black olives, halved grape tomatoes and it should have creamy balsamic dressing BUT I hate balsamic dressing so no.

Crust = raw pecan, almond flour, cinnamon, coconut oil & a tiny bit of salt. Filling = raw cashew, canned coconut milk but I'd assume lactose free would also work, (I say this because I HATE coconut milk) fresh lemon juice, coconut oil, maple syrup, vanilla extract and a shit ton of strawberries. Sam has joked about being lactose intolerant before and true or not i am and id like to have these meals plus Dairy free options are usually more healthy and that's probably what same would go for. While there is cheese in the first two, it's only a little and we'd be fine but a cheese cake? No way, but I love cheesecake so we're gonna make it safe for us lol

Drink: Fresh apple juice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dean~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Main: Kansas style Hunter’s chicken -

Starter: Mozzarella sticks - Mozzarella cheese and bread cumbs, no surprises in that. Anyway, in 15×10, Dean finds out he is also lactose intolerant but canon aside, he is DEFINITELY the type to say fuck it and eat anything anyway no matter the cost and mozzarella sticks slap so who cares? Not us. Mozzarella sticks are a classic starter but If you think that they're too light, even though it's a starter and its ment to be light, you could always go for my personal homemade tomato soup - Canned tomatoes, All purpose flour, fresh cream, butter, sugar, salt, pepper and I tend to top it off with basil or parsley. Dean mentions in a flashback that Mary would make tomato soup all the time when he was little so it's why it came to mind.

Kansas barbecue sauce, olive oil, finely chopped onions, chicken breast , tomato paste, bacon, grated cheddar, lettuce, chopped cucumber

Chopped radishes with lemon juice drizzled over it and a dash of black pepper, served with bread to eat the left of over sauce with. I recommend tiger bread. I thought this would work for dean cos it's 2 types of meat, it's messy and he feels like the kinda person to hear 'Kansas style' and go nuts for it.

Dessert: Apple cinnamon pie - Filling = Apples, golden caster sugar, cinnamon & flour. Pastry = butter more golden caster sugar, eggs & plain flour. Not much suprise here either. Dean's food needs are simple. I know y'all want me to say cherry pie but the meal I've made would go better with apple as a nice pallet clean. This is accidentally a very American meal but fun fact, Apple pie first originated in England, where it developed from culinary influences from France, the Netherlands, the Ottoman Empire and apple trees weren't even native to America until europeans arrived so idk why y'all decide to take it as if you did something here. Y'all did nothing here, that pie is my blood not yours. 😤 /hj Anyway, all this to say, apple pie will taste better with this and also gives a hint of Men of letters to the meal.

Drink: Cola. Simple man, simple needs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cas~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Starter: PBJ mini parfait - yogurt, crunchy peanut butter, granola & strawberries. The jam is made of frozen mixed berries (like blackberries, blackcurrants, blueberries, redcurrants, strawberries ect), chia seeds, orange juice & maple syrup. Because cas canonically likes PB&J & i think mini parfait are neat.

Main: American style honey & banana pancakes with vanilla ice cream on the side - Honey for the bee obsession, bananas for the monkey obsession he also has the the same episode but people over look that part. "How important is lipstick to you, Dean?", American style pancakes are fluffy like angel wings lol and vanilla ice cream also reminds me of angels, i cannot elaborate on it, it just does.

Drink: Butterfly pea flower tea latte - cashew milk, blue butterfly pea flower powder, maple syrup, vanilla extract & dried rose petals for garnish. It's a bright blue, sweet, all natural beauty. Makes my heart flutter just looking at it, just like Cas. Lol what a simp. If you don't want to empty your wallet on one drink, you can have cinnamon coffee instead because his coat gives the vibe and Misha said he uses cinnamon sprays all the time and so always smells like cinnamon no matter what hes doing.

Dessert: Angel food cake - Plain flour, caster sugar, eggs, cream of tartar, lemon juice & zest, unsalted butter served with double cream, mango sauce, juiced lime, strawberries & passion fruits cos *place angel joke here*

Drink: Ice cream cola float - Cola + vanilla Ice cream. This was the most childish drink I could come up with, it's very hit or miss for people and you get the combo of Deans Cola and Cas' ice cream because it's very cute to me. I very much feel Jack would like this drink and Sam would hate it because it's far too unhealthy and weird, making it a perfect drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Jack~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All i have so far is

[genby-enby]

Swing

You return after being away for some time.

This is a bit of Animal Crossing fanfiction originally written for the Iron Fic contest at Naka-Kon 2022. Per the contest's rules, the original and submitted drafts were written in less than an hour with the prompt "Getting Back Into the Swing of Things". I never got the submitted draft back but, if you're curious, you can find the original here.

AO3 Link

@genby-writes​  (My writing blog where I only reblog my latest writing.)

You swing your front door open, taking in the clear night air. A cloud of dust follows on your heels before the door closes again. You cringe, already dreading the mess you’ll find when you come home again.

Making your way along your island’s pathways, you mentally list the chores you need to catch up on. Weeds need to be picked, flowers need to be rearranged, and roaches need to be squished. You sigh.

It’s a lot. Your island is a far cry from its former five-star glory. There’s so much to do but there’s no time for it now.

As you pass by town hall, you run across Maple. She waves cheerily and hurries over to you.

“You’ve been gone so long, honeycomb!” she exclaims. “Where have you been?”

You tell her you’ve been out on an adventure. She giggles in delight.

“Just like one of my books! You’ll have to tell me all about it,” she insists.

You promise her you will later but you need to be on your way. She waves good-bye and you continue on.

You run across Filbert next. He’s standing on the path, mesmerized by a moth fluttering around Tangy’s house. You almost leave him to it before changing your mind.

Equipping your net, you catch the moth and hand it to him.

“Oh thanks, jellybean! How did you know I wanted a moth?” he asks.

You smile and tell him it was a gut feeling. He nods sagely.

“I get those too. Usually after I eat a grilled cheese.”

You tell him that might be because he’s lactose-intolerant, but he only laughs.

Before you can excuse yourself, he says something about taking his new bug friend home before scurrying off. You laugh and move on.

When you reach Roscoe’s house, you knock. You can’t help but fidget as you wait even though it isn’t long before he opens the door.

You grin and offer him a cheeky hello.

He looks you over and you try your best to hold the smile on your face. Fortunately, he invites you in before it can slip off.

“It’s been a while, kid. What have you been up to?” he asks.

You start to tell him what you told Maple. You hardly get a word out though before he waves you off.

“Where have you really been, kid?”

You stop. You take a breath, and then another. You try to tell him but the words won’t come. Instead, tears well up in your eyes.

Roscoe pats your head and it’s all you can take.

You hiccup and a cry is ripped from your throat. You tell him everything: the overdue homework assignments, the endless job applications, the dishes piling up in the sink.

He listens, nodding along. He doesn’t say a word until your sobs have quieted to soft hiccups.

“You can worry about all that in the morning,” he tells you. “For now, come sit with me. We can catch up.”

You nod, sniffling, but freeze as the town tune rings out across the island. It reminds you it’s already two in the morning. Roscoe nods in understanding before you can say anything.

“It was good seeing you, kid. Go get some rest and come back when you’ve got time to spare. We miss seeing your face when you’re gone.”

Roscoe ushers you out the door. You pause on his front step and wish him a good night. He gives you a rare smile before closing the door behind you.

You take a moment to stand on the path outside Roscoe’s house. Looking up, a blanket of stars twinkles above you. A sense of peace washes over you.

With one last, deep breath, you press ‘–’ and log out.

[destiny-islanders]

Hey Destiny! Planning my first trip to WDW any advice :)

(I do hope you’re planning to go after the pandemic has been dealt with first off-- there are shops, restaurants, and certain experiences/shows that will be unavailable if you go around now-ish, and as far as I know they’re still charging full-price admission. So not only is it dangerous, it’s not worth it.)

But if you try and go next year sometime when life has presumably returned to normal...

If you can, stay on property! 

Not a requirement obviously, but WDW has transportation that can get you to and from the parks so you don’t have to deal with the parking lots at the parks themselves. It’s also really nice as an adult to go to EPCOT and drink around the world without having to worry about who’s driving back

It also makes staying for the fireworks much less painful... Like it is excruciating to trudge back to your car after spending all day at the park and having to deal with the insane crowds leaving the park, and traffic in the parking lots...

Staying on property allows you to get Fast Passes and make dining reservations a whole month before other guests can. Which ties into my next point...

GET FASTPASSES AND DINING RESERVATIONS AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE

If you want to go to Magic Kingdom and go on the Mine Train, Space Mountain, and Splash Mountain with FastPass, you need to have them booked sooner rather than later. Find out when you can book FastPasses and get them the second you can.

If you couldn’t get FastPasses for it, get to the park when it opens and make a beeline to your #1 attraction

I live in Florida and I have an annual pass, so it’s not a big deal if I can’t go on my favorite rides because the lines are too long. But if you’re from out of state and this is going to be your only chance to go to Disney for the year or even YEARS, arriving early is a must

Trying to get on Rise of the Resistance (the fancy new Star Wars ride) in Hollywood Studios?

You need to be inside the park before it opens. Period. That is the only way to ensure you can get on this ride since it is insanely popular. Once inside the park, you need to use the MyDisney app to secure your place in a virtual queue. Everyone in your group needs to be registered on the MyDisney app or you will not be able to make a reservation for them. Once you’ve made the reservation, you’re free to roam the park as you will until it’s your turn to ride

Grossed out by crowded public restrooms? Use one in a sit-down restaurant.

Obviously please don’t bring your whole family into a restaurant to use its restroom. I’m talking like if one or two people in your group have to go. Just walk into the restaurant like you already have a table and go to the restroom in there. Though all of the restrooms at WDW are usually well-maintained, imo they’re even nicer in the sit-down restaurants haha. This tip is a little prissy but eh. Thought I’d include it

Disney snacks you are required by law to try

Magic Kingdom

Cheshire Cat Tail (Really yummy for breakfast while you wait in line for one of your first rides of the day)

Dole Whip Ice Cream (IT’S DAIRY FREE-- my fellow lactose-intolerant people can eat it worry-free!!!)

Sweet and Spicy Chicken and Waffle sandwich (Split with friends if you have lunch or dinner plans-- delicious snack to eat between rides or at a show)

GET A BIRTHDAY CAKE SCONE FROM THE CANDY SHOP/BAKERY!!! THEY ARE MY FAVORITE DISNEY TREATS AND I ALWAYS BRING LIKE 2 OR 3 HOME WITH ME

Animal Kingdom

Cinnamon roll (A classic-- and again, a perfect breakfast treat to share while you queue)

Night Blossom (Or its alcoholic equivalent-- really yummy slushies perfect to sip on in the outdoor queues in Avatar world)

Blueberry Cream Cheese Mousse (Need I say more? Yes it’s kind of dangerous if you can’t handle dairy though. Maybe steal a bite from someone’s just to experience life’s fleeting joys)

EPCOT

Adults who booze are obligated imo to get a Grey Goose Lemonade slushie in France. Tangy and sweet. COLD. Delicious.

Tarte aux Fraises (Honestly you can’t go wrong with anything in France... everything I’ve tried there is amazing...)

Giant pretzel (Not exactly a Disney-exclusive thing but... they’re humongous and a great snack to share with a group)

Side note while we’re in Germany-- there’s a little bar tucked into the corner near the back of this area. If you’re drinking around the world, go in there and get Apfel shots. Trust me I have good taste.

If they have them when you’re there... You need to get a meat bun in Japan. They are one of my favorite things to get at Disney Springs or in the parks when they’re available.

Hollywood Studios

(I’m not gonna lie this is not the park to get your snack on. There’s only one snack here I’m super passionate about...)

If you’re there around breakfast time (which you will be if you got there early for Star Wars), the S’mores French Toast in Toy Story Land is DELICIOUS. Just grab napkins. A lot of napkins.

Giant pretzel 

This is not a recommendation, this is a warning: THE MILK IN STAR WARS LAND IS GROSS AND I HATED EVERY SECOND A DROP OF IT WAS IN MY MOUTH

Rides you should try to do while you’re in the park

Magic Kingdom

Space Mountain

Splash Mountain (I wear a poncho because I hate having wet clothes,,,,,)

I think Thunder Mountain is kinda lame but I guess it’s worth doing if the line isn’t terribly long

Dwarf Mine Train

Pirates of the Caribbean

Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin (smacktalk in the queue and try to maintain your dignity when you get 9000 points and all of your friends have nearly broken 1 million)

Haunted Mansion

Mickey’s Phillarmagic

Animal Kingdom

Expedition Everest

It’s Tough To Be a Bug (this show will probably terrify your young children if you have any, just a warning)

Flight of Passage (I GUESS... none of the rides in the Avatar section of the park are worth a 2 hour wait if you ask me...)

Dinosaur (again, this ride will probably terrify your young children... I think it’s scarier than Jurassic Park at Universal if you can believe it)

Kilimanjaro Safari (get a Fast Pass for this one-- it’s probably one of the most popular attractions in AK)

Kali River Rapids (in which I once again don a poncho like a 50-year-old man)

Festival of the Lion King (corny as hell but it’s fun)

EPCOT

(If you’re not here to check out the exhibits in each country idk what you’re doing here haha)

Test Track (honestly the only ride I like there)

Spaceship Earth (yes it’s a slow dark ride but it’s really charming and there’s a bit at the end that will probably make you and your group cry laughing)

Gran Fiesta Tour (It’s hidden in the temple in Mexico. Cute little boat ride with Donald and the Three Caballeros)

Soarin’ (My friends and I have an endurance competition to see who can keep their legs held out straight the longest throughout the ride. We got some of the people sitting around us to join in the last time we rode which was pretty hilarious haha)

I’ve heard the Frozen ride is fun, but I’ve never ridden on it myself, so I can’t really comment on it

Note about Mission Space: I got really sick on this ride, and I rode the TAME version. Most of my friends also get sick on this ride. It’s worth trying once if you’re really curious, but I was knocked on my ass for half of my day at EPCOT after riding this one.)

Hollywood Studios

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster (A really fun ride but try to keep your head back or you will have a headache all day... Bring ibuprofen.)

Tower of Terror (Probably one of my favorite Disney rides in any park. Will most likely further terrify your small children who may still be traumatized from the bugs and dinosaurs of Animal Kingdom)

Rise of the Resistance (I don’t care about Star Wars but uh. Yeah. This ride was pretty dope.)

Smuggler’s Run (One of the more immersive rides I’ve been on... The ride vehicle is cool as all get-out and there are lots of buttons you can push and levers to pull... Blame one of your friends for being a bad pilot when you only manage to snag two pieces of cargo)

Toy Story Mania (exhaust yourself and make your arms really sore as you desperately try to exert your dominance over your friends as you pop balloons with darts and throw rings around volcanos before they erupt)

MuppetVision (I’m a Muppets ride or die fan and I still think this ride is charming and funny. There’s usually never a line so it’s a perfect break in the air conditioning with beloved characters)

Minnie and Mickey’s Runaway Railway (I haven’t gotten to ride this yet, but I’ve heard good things-- and the Mickey shorts this ride is based on are HILARIOUS, so I expect good things)

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular (DISCLAIMER: Only really fun if someone in your group is selected to be one of the townsfolk. My sister got picked last time and it was hilarious)

Fantasmic! (I like all of the fireworks shows minus the Star Wars one in HS because I really don’t care but. Fantasmic stands out. You have to watch it at least once. Try to catch the first show if you can so you can avoid some of the rush of guests leaving the park at the very end of the night)

[urmomsstuntdouble]

Congrats on 100!!! 💕 maybe for the writing request a hc list or maybe a character analysis on nyo Romano? 👉👈

of course! and thank you! this is sort of a combo of both? but here ya go, i hope you like it!

her name is chiara leandra vargas. i feel like maybe that didnt need to be said but also the name lovina, while similar to actual italian names, annoys me because its just tacking an a onto the end of lovino which isnt a name. i do think lavinia is kinda cute tho, although my favorite L names are leandra and larissa. 

i dont think italy had an equivalent to the Women’s Land Army (in Britain and the US, during WW1 and WW2, female civilians were organized into little farming communities to replpace the labor shortage caused by men going into the military), but that’s basically how i imagine her fashion sense is. just. this

also related to ww2 she was 100% in the resistence

she cuts her own bangs

one of her many jobs throughout history was a rollerskating waitress. i have absolutely no historical basis for this. it is the Vibe

on another fashion note, she tends to either dress similarly to the style of the WLA uniform or like. she’s trying to win at fashion week. 

chiara also makes the majority of her own clothes, with a preference for sewing by hand. i think that the nations are sort of treated like royalty by their governments, i imagine she’s had a lot of very nice clothes throughout the years, and there are certain things that she just misses, and modern technology can’t recreate her faves, so she likes to make stuff for herself. her level of involvement for getting the materials really varies too. if she’s feeling it, she might go out and shear a sheep. if that’s not the vibe she’d just as easily go to a fabric store and buy a couple meters of cotton. 

this is sort of related to another hc but she does not give a flying fuck about how feminine her wardrobe is anymore.

as an immortal woman, chiara tends to not particularly care about gender as a concept. she’s south italy, what more do you care, ya know? i think her relationship with her gender is a bit complex but also as simple as “well italia is feminine so it makes sense that im a woman.” like a lot of the female nations, i imagine she’s very strong and hasnt always been taken seriously by even the members of her own government, so it’s been hard, but she genuinely doesnt care anymore how people see her. because of that, she’s a much lighter person than she used to be, to the extent that other nations will comment on it. like...i think when she met russia again in the 20th century he was like wow you’re so chill what did you do to chiara? you know? and though she’s not like, fully happy and at peace with everything related to her gender, she’s just sort of over it, ya know? 

she has an interesting relationship with religion. i think she sees herself as being A Very Good Catholic™, but is she though? once again, as an immmortal, i dont think chiara’s very attached to religion as a concept, mostly because she cannot go to heaven, because she cannot die. well, she could, but she’s over 2000 years old and she doesnt look like she’s going anywhere soon, so. at this point she just sort of goes with what the church says, and if she disagrees with that, will make her own interpretation of the bible. and if she doesn’t like what the bible has to say, she’ll fall back on her own opinions. she has a little bit of catholic guilt about it

she’s definitely got some weird feelings about catholicism and how people can use it in ways that hurt others. its a bit conflicting, because the vatican is literally in her heart but she also doesn’t really like everything that comes out of it. at the end of the day she sort of prioritizes being a good person over being a good christian, although that’s not really how she sees it in her own head. 

she prefers to wear looser clothing. stuff that hides the shape of her hips and chest. this is because she’s often been told that she couldn’t fight or that she shouldn’t fight, because she’s a woman, but if you tell miss chiara vargas not to do something. She Will. i know that in hetalia canon female characters are shown to be soldiers too, like hungary, although im not sure if that’s the most historically accurate. i also think it might’ve been harder for nyo romano, because a lot of romano’s character is defined by his relationships with veneziano and with spain, during which both of them try to protect him from harm at every turn (screams in veneziano trying to make sure romano doesnt have to stress himself out with work while also implying that he thinks romano is lazy and incapable and thereby making him even more stressed because he thinks his brother hates him-). so if nyo romano is operating under those same frameworks and dynamics as her male counterpart, i think that spain and vene might have tried to fight for her a lot. that annoyed chiara for obvious reasons but also did wind up. preventing her from fighting a lot. i think that she was definitely involved in all military conflicts involving south italy, but not necessarily fighting for all of it, you know? anyway, all that is to say that i think she’d have people to sneak around if she wanted to fight, so she would need to disguise herself in order to do so. 

side note while she was like. an infantryman or whatever she definitely used that as a chance to explore her bisexuality. chiara would make a damn fine soldier and village girls think so too

lactose intolerant but still eats so much cheese because as south italy she legally has to. she suffers in silence because soy/almond/oat milk dont cut it for cheese. however, if she’s feeling a coffee with milk, she will use one of the non-dairy alternatives.

has had a crush on half of europe at some point

also had a thing with cuba for a time. borrowing the hc from the cumano server that cuba re-taught her how to speak spanish but The Correct Cuban Way and now she’s like. fucking carribean sounding. whenever chiara gets in a fight with spain she’ll lay on the cuban accent extra thick, because its fun to watch isabel pull her hair out sometimes :)

amazing singing voice

really good at makeup and only uses her skills for things that are sexy and evil

writing requests

[the-village-dunce]

would you like to hear about lactose tolerance? yes, yes you would. that was not a question to be answered.

so basically a while back, yanno, like around the most recent ice age

people didnt drink milk or any sort of dairy products because it would make them ill (symptoms similar to dysentry, lactose intolerance)

shortly after (yanno 1000 or so years) that ended they stopped having to be hunting/gathering and got cows and they were just like

“oh well damn we got cows what can we do with these little shits?”

and they started making cheese and butter and built up a small immunity to dairy products particularly in northern africa and north western europe

and it got better

a couple of bitches got a genetic mutation where the T (thyamine nucleotide) got mixed with the C (cynasine nucleotide) and they could drink milk or eat lotsa dairy and have no problems (lactose tolerance^^^)

and this spread pretty quickly in those northern africa northwestern europe areas cuz like THEY had aLL THIs DAIRy so yeah

and its continued to spread but its still not prominent in eastern societies

in northern africa (certain places) more than 90% of the population is lactose tolerant, same with west/north europe, mostly being in the 70% area tho

yes i misspelt almost every single scientific term on this page

thank you for coming to my info dump

that's actually really interesting thank you please info-dump to me more

[ruelpsen]

Ruelpsen Writes #3: Lunch Troubles

… Because if I’m going to keep doing this, I suppose I need a name and a tag (#ruelpsen writes) for my writing.

A, while making lunch for their partner B, accidentally slips in real cheese- something B’s stomach is intolerant to. B doesn’t realize this until it’s too late, which happens to be during the middle of their workday, of course. Not too nsfw this time, but there’s some stuffing and there might be some eprocto stuff in there (it’s not something I’m super into as I am with burps, but enough people on here like it well enough that I figured I could try my hand at writing it).

Enjoy!

B looked up at the clock on the wall of their cubicle again. It was now 1:37 and well past their normal lunchtime. But on the bright side, they’d finally put in that last push to complete the summary they’d been writing. With a few final keystrokes, they wrapped up the big project they’d spent the last two weeks working on. B was used to putting in long hours of writing and revising like this, and very well knew they’d work up an appetite that day. They had told their partner, A, the previous evening that they’d be finishing their big project today- so of course A packed them a big lunch to get them through the day, which included some sweet treats for B to eat in celebration of being done.

B sighed in relief upon emailing their boss the final draft. As soon as they’d done so, they got up from their desk and practically raced to the communal fridge to get their lunch. They smiled upon opening it and seeing that it was still all there- which was a relief considering A had packed them so much that they needed two bags to hold it all! They grabbed both and swiftly headed back to their desk, stopping briefly on their way to grab themself a new mug of coffee.

Once back at their desk, B tore into the first bag. A had packed B some of their favorite snack cakes… and given the circumstances, B decided to make it a dessert first day. They polished off the cakes (all six of them!) in a couple minutes, chasing them with a hearty swig of coffee. They wiped their lips with the back of their hand before tilting their head back and burping loudly. B could hear someone in an adjacent cubicle make a small noise of disgust, but it didn’t bother them whatsoever- rather, they patted their gut and brought up a smaller afterburp in response before turning their attention back to their lunch. There were still more treats in the first bag, but they opted to save those to serve as a real dessert. They opened the second bag and found a pair of reuben sandwiches (their favorite), made with a cheese substitute instead of real cheese due to B’s mild lactose intolerance. That much real cheese wouldn’t make them sick, but it would make them unpleasantly gassy. And that’s not something they needed in the middle of their workday…

B wolfed down the first half of one sandwich in almost a flash. Damn, did it taste good. They’d throw glances over to the entry of their cubicle to make sure no one was watching as they rubbed their stomach blissfully as they ate. Sure, everyone around them was used to their piggish sounds by now, but nobody needed to actually see just how much B was savoring the act of eating. Thankfully, today wasn’t too busy a day and they could rub their gut to their stomach’s content. And damn, did that feel good. So good that B felt ready to-

“uuuuurrrrrOOOOOORRRRRP!”

B was caught off guard by an unexpectedly loud, forceful belch. Nevertheless, they couldn’t help but sigh from how good that made them feel. Anyway, they felt ready to finish off that first sandwich. The sandwiches were both big, but B still had plenty of room- and that satisfying burp freed up yet more space. They devoured the second half before taking another short break to rub, pat, and see how much more gas they could expel before moving on to the second sandwich. Their stomach grumbled deeply as they felt a pocket of air rise, followed by another belch, this one longer than the first but much deeper. Fuck, did that feel good to get out, especially since B’s stomach was starting to feel a little… off. They didn’t feel sick, per se, but their stomach was definitely riled up by something. It churned and growled loudly, causing B to stop a moment just to listen. Had the snack cakes or sandwich upset it a little? B couldn’t be sure given how quickly they were eating. And it wasn’t too concerning, they thought. Besides, they still had another sandwich left to enjoy- they could enjoy that and then deal with the consequences of whatever their stomach was doing, especially since they weren’t so pressed for time with their work as they had been before.

Without further ado, B began to work at the second sandwich. They ate their way through it more slowly than they had the first, given that they were starting to feel pretty full (and their overactive stomach wasn’t helping with that). They’d stop every few bites for more stomach rubs, bringing up some pretty hefty burps each time. The groans of annoyance from the cubicles around them did nothing to dissuade them from this. B would just sigh contently and return to eating, now savoring every bite.

And that’s when they realized something was off. Something about the sandwich didn’t taste quite right… and they’d realized that with only a couple bites to go. They ate those last two up without thinking before it dawned on them what was wrong. It tasted like there was real cheese on them. Had A made some sort of mistake? Was B wrong? They had no idea- but three hours to deal with their irritated gut regardless.

B told themself they’d be fine and decided to go for the last dessert- a small stack of cookies A had lovingly baked for them. They ate those slowly, taking the time to enjoy how big each new bite was making their gut feel. They were still gone in a matter of minutes, prompting B to pat their stomach upon completion of their meal. Their stomach grumbled loudly again before-

“BUUUUUUUUUURRRR-urrrrrr-ORRRRRRRRP!!!”

“God, you’re disgusting,” a cubicle neighbor spat loudly enough for B to hear. B did feel slightly embarrassed this time. Normally they’d allot themself one good burp at lunch as to not be too gross, but today they just kept coming. They could already feel another trying to work its way up. B clenched their mouth shut and tried to keep it in. In response, they let out a loud, long fart- and promptly belched regardless of their efforts to suppress it. Yeah, something was definitely off about their lunch.

B still had three more hours before they were to head home. They weighed their options- they could either leave early and not get paid or try to tough it out, maybe taking some time in the bathroom to let some of the gas out. They opted for the latter, figuring that they’d be okay enough to make it through the rest of their workday (especially if they were able to relieve themself somewhat).

With that decided, B got back to work on a smaller project. It was getting hard to focus given how noisy and uneasy their stomach was, so they figured it was time to head to the bathroom to try and let some of the gas out. As they stood up, one of their coworkers appeared.

“Hey, B, here’s what our boss told me to bring you now that you’re done with-”

“bwooo-URRRRP!”

Thanks to B’s gut shifting as they stood, they let out a loud, short belch, damn close to being right in their coworker’s face. B clasped their hands over their mouth in sheepish embarrassment as their coworker sneered in disgust.

“I am so, so sorry,” B apologized profusely. “I’ll just, uh…” they mumbled, blushing, grabbing the small stack of papers their coworker had brought them. “I’ll take care of this. So sorry.”

“Sure you are,” their coworker muttered before leaving. B would never try to be that rude to someone, but today they just couldn’t hold back. They tossed the papers onto their desk before making a beeline to the restroom, cautious to not jostle their stomach too much in order to prevent such an encounter again. They thankfully made it there without incident, heading straight to a stall so they could belch and fart in peace.

B loosened their belt slightly before beginning to rub their belly. Man, were they stuffed! B started belching almost immediately, their loud, bassy burps echoing off the walls. Every so often they’d let out loud farts, some of them pretty foul-smelling. B could now tell that yes, it must have been real cheese on those sandwiches, for nothing else they ate could have made their farts that bad. They belched and farted for quite some time, enjoying how good that made their aching midsection feel. But as enjoyable as it was, their belly still ached and it felt like they were no less gassy than they did when they entered. Maybe they should have just gone home.

B checked their watch again. They’d been in there for quite some time now, and still had two more hours of work ahead of them. Going home sounded good, but there were still things that needed to get done. B decided to head back to their desk and see how things progressed. Right as they were about to exit the stall they occupied, another coworker entered the restroom- or was about to, but gagged at the stench and took a moment to decide if they really needed to go that badly. At that same moment, B could feel another pocket of pressure begin to rise.

“hic-urrrrRRRRRAAAAAAAP!”

“Damn,” the coworker exclaimed before leaving.

B spent a few more minutes working out yet more gas. They still didn’t feel any better. They finally headed back to their desk, groaning as they sat back down before releasing a short fart. They sighed and opened up other projects on their computer and spread out some papers on their desk so it would at least look like they were doing something.

As time passed, they did their best (to little avail) to suppress their gas. They were able to bring up their burps more quietly than before, but it was still embarrassing that they simply couldn’t stop. They knew their coworkers were disgusted, even though they couldn’t help but be that gassy.

Eventually, B’s boss appeared at their desk. B gulped anxiously.

“Great work on that report,” their boss said. “Since it’s 4 o’clock on a Friday and you’ve done so much this week, why don’t you head home early. You’ll still get paid for this next hour, so feel free to head out when you’d like.”

“Thank you so much,” B said, wincing slightly as they held back a burp.

“You feeling alright?” their boss asked.

“Nouuurrrrp! Ugh… no, not really,” B answered. “I’d be happy to head right home. Thanks.”

“Anytime. See you Monday.”

With that, their boss left, and B instantly began to pack up their things. Once back on their feet, they made a dash to the elevator, letting out another massive belch as soon as the doors shut, following it up with a particularly rancid fart. They couldn’t help but feel sorry for whatever poor soul was going to be in there next.

B kept burping and farting as they drove home. The ache in their gut was only getting worse. B wanted to be mad at A when they got home, but they knew not to be- the cheese had probably been a mistake, after all. B reached their house without incident and headed right in to find A in the kitchen, making themself a grilled cheese. A didn’t look up until they heard B belch deeply.

“Well hi,” A said, looking up at B. “Oh, darling, you look miserable. I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell did you do to my lunch?” B asked.

“I mixed up where I’d put your fake cheese after dinner last night,” A explained. “I’d put it where I normally put my cheese and put my cheese in its place. I made your lunch afterward with the wrong stuff and didn’t realize it until I was making myself a sandwich just now. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I’m just glad I was able to come home early,” B said before belching again. “Man, am I a stuffed, gassy mess.”

“Let’s sit on the couch and I can help you with that,” A said. B sat down on the couch (forcing up another burp, of course) as A fetched some stomach-soothing medication before joining B. B took some before sitting down on A’s lap, sighing contently as A began to rub their belly. B continued to belch for A and fart in their lap for quite some time- but eventually, they finally managed to feel better and fell right asleep, feeling ever so full of both food and love.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that.  (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind.  I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep.  Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row???  So we might see her right away??  No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before?  Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave.  --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What?  Is she reading a childrens’ book?  --Oh.  She’s eulogizing Gamzee.  So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person.  (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point.  Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup???  --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side.  That would make sense.  You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much?  Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again?  Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it.  ...Huh.  Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia.  Phew!  Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here?  Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense?  And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah.  I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them.  That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way.  You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm.  It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL.  Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something.  And a black tail?  This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe.  Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress.  Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN.  I don’t see anything over her mouth!  Did she stick something in it, or drug her?  File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair.  Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then?  --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember.  Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade?  I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun.  AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl.  How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK.  Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like.  Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts?  Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text?  What color exactly... “#D00009”?  Huh.  That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707.  In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago...  no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color.  (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out?  That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image!  FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power.  Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!?  D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right?  Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear?  I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck?  WHY would you do that?  Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”?  What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh?  Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden.  Properly dramatic?  You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative.  Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now.  From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring.  I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um.  What?  Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again???  Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping.  I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though.  Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads.  (But still June.  Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course.  (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty?  We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence.  (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit.  And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve.  Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her?  Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion.  Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh.  Hm... huh? hhhh.  huh?  what, but.  Why would.  ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange.  Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?)  Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave?  Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe?  Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update.  Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed.  For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it?  Or skimming it?  But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that.  Weird.  Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here.  About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really?  That was speculated about?  :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything. 

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side.  To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers.  Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up.  Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character. 

:p

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out. 

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy.  --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid...  but I think we can make an exception here?  I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half.  Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria? 

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight.  BUSY day I had.  Y’all take care!

[lemonsandstrawberries]

One Milkshake, Two Straws

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

summary: Steve and Tony enjoy an undercover mini-break and during breakfast Steve really wants a milkshake. All to himself, preferably.

length: 1 000

a/n:  sooooo today is soooooo hot and I hate everything and all I can think of is eating cool stuff and going for vacation. so, I wrote this! based on this prompt. hope you like it! also, I am using here one of my fav headcanons about Steve - that he is lactose intolerant, because I think it is funny for a super-soldier to be lactose intolerant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ asks, reblogs and likes are needed and appreciated!

——————–

One Milkshake, Two Straws

"You're gonna burst, babe."

"I will die happily, then."

Steve smiled contentedly, sipping his orange juice slowly. His plate was pushed aside, his stomach full, but seemed that Tony planned to eat his weight in food. And maybe even Steve's weight.

"This is my favorite part of vacation," Tony admitted, enthusiastically spooning scrambled eggs and bacon in his mouth, eggs served in ten different ways still waiting for their turn on his plate. His legs kept bouncing and Steve didn't mind, even if because of the small table, Tony constantly bumped into his knees. "We should do a breakfast buffet back home."

"And who will cook it all?" Steve asked in humor, watching Tony happily munching away. It was a rare occasion when they had some free time to get away from superhero duties. Currently, they were enjoying a mini-break in one of the smaller hotels in an even smaller city, away from everyone who could recognize them. They had even signed in under a fake name, which became a common practice during their short travels.

"Will hire a chef," Tony decided, cutting with his fork a piece of a fluffy omelet filled with melted cheese. "We hould hamp dahn iht hears ahgo," of course, full mouth didn't stop Tony from talking.

Steve just laughed, leaning back in his chair. His eyes lingered for a while near the table with desserts, where all kids were crowding, taking advantage of the 'make your own milkshake' station. Milkshake did sound good, but Steve checked earlier and sadly noticed that there were no dairy-free options and he didn't want to risk a stomach ache during vacation. It was weird how all of his sicknesses vanished after taking the super-soldier serum, yet somehow he remained lactose intolerant.

Tony chewed, taking another bite before he could swallow the one he already had in his mouth. That was a problem with small hotels. They didn't meet the demands of people with dietary restrictions, and food served was delicious, but made in a traditional way, no alterations. There were a few vegan options available, like a tofu scramble or vegetable pates, but nothing over the top like in some more luxurious hotels. Tony smiled, having an idea.

"Something wrong?" Steve asked, noticing Tony standing up, despite his plate being still quite full.

"Need a coffee refill," Tony smiled, walking away. "Do you want anything? More juice?"

"No, thanks, babe," Steve smiled back, taking his glass and chasing with a paper straw the last drops of the juice. Tony walked away, happy that at least the hotel was up to date with their environmental policy.

After a few minutes, Tony came back, holding in his hand a tall glass with a pink milkshake inside.

"I thought you went to get coffee," Steve frowned, eyeing the milkshake wearily. It seemed a bit cruel to come back with a milkshake when Steve couldn't get any.

"I got this for you," Tony said, pushing the milkshake closer to Steve, "it is almond milk, ice cubes, and mixed berries. I had to turn on my Stark charm to get it," he said, sounding pleased with himself and winked at Steve.

Steve felt something fuzzy in his chest. That was his Tony - always doing some small, sweet things for him.

"Aw, thanks, babe," Steve smiled and saw Tony sticking two straws in the milkshake. Wait, two?

"What? You think I went through all this trouble and won't even taste it?" Tony laughed, seeing Steve's surprised face. "Besides, it is romantic to share a milkshake like that, don't you think?"

Steve thought that Tony only wanted his share because sometimes he could be a hungry, hungry hippo. "Sure, babe," he smiled and decided to play along. Steve moved his chair closer and he and Tony leaned in, both taking first sips of the milkshake, their foreheads nearly touching. Sweet, cold, creamy. Everything Steve craved.

"Do you like it?" Tony asked, straw still in his mouth.

"Yhhm," Steve smiled, taking another sip. And then another. And another.

"Woah, slow down or you will get a brain - "

SLUUUUUURP!

"- freeze," Tony stared in shock as Steve sucked the whole tall glass of cold milkshake, basically on his own. With a satisfied smile, Steve sat straight, the straw dangling from his mouth.

"Ah, that's just what I needed," Steve said in a light tone, playfully wagging the straw at Tony.

Tony had to admit that he was somehow impressed. Still...

"Wow," Tony leaned forward, both hands on the table, "so this is how it's going to be? Every man for himself?" Tony asked, meaning Steve's unwillingness to even let him have a sip.

"It was just a milkshake, babe," Steve replied innocently. Maybe he wanted to mess with Tony a bit, but it didn't mean that he didn't appreciate what his husband had done.

Tony hmphed in offense and put both hands under the table. It was a small round table, made for two, and he didn't have to reach far and Steve jumped, feeling five fingers quickly clawing on his knees.

"Tony!" Steve bit back a laugh, scolding his husband.

"You mess with me, I mess with you," Tony growled playfully, hooking his fingers under Steve's knees and tickling the thin skin. When Steve burst into laughter and pushed his chair away, causing it to make an unpleasant, high pitched sound, everyone present looked at him, with more or less scolding looks. Steve felt his face heating up and apologized for the ruckus and sat down quietly. Soon the dining hall got back to its usual, quieter state, full of talks and clinks of utensils and no one paid attention to them anymore. And then Steve noticed Tony's smug face. His husband even had the nerve to blow a kiss his way, clearly to provoke him.

Fine. Both could play this game.

If Tony wanted to mess with him, Steve won't remain idle.

The rest of the vacation wasn't so calm anymore, but it definitely was interesting.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Kick Ball Change (a Destiel fic inspired by 15x10 “The Heroes’ Journey”)

Dean has the Bunker to himself at a time after he and Sam regain their supernatural abilities. With nothing needing his attention, he decides taking time for himself wouldn't hurt. But the usual fare leaves him bored and tired.

So he tries something new. Something he wanted to try, but wasn't sure he would be good at. Dean starts off strong, but doing it on your own can only be so fun. Get you so far. Luckily a partner happens by and truly allows Dean to enjoy a part of himself he knew was there, but didn't want to share.

           He leans forward, studying the laptop screen intently. Frowning, eyes flicking left and right while counting along with the instructor. His finger clicks on the trackpad and then pulls back. Restarts the video for the umpteenth time. When Dean feels confident, he pauses the video at the two-minute mark.

           Distancing himself from the table, Dean’s stare dips down towards his feet. Watches them repeat the steps. Slowly, like if he were walking on a wintry lake where the ice thinly covered the surface. Imagines the clicks with each soft tap of his heel or a scratchy swoosh when he dragged his toes across the floor.

           Through repetition, his skill improves. Instead of the jerky movements from which he began Dean moves with a touch of grace. Soon, he tears his gaze away and trusts that his feet will lead him through the routine without having to watch. Panting, beads of sweat dripping through his hairline, Dean dances the mini-routine at least ten more times. Then he stops and slumps over to the laptop again.

           Two minutes. Out of thirty.

           “Son of a…” he runs a tired hand through his hair, ignoring the aches in his joints and hits play.

           There was only so much time he had anyway.

           “I’m heading out.”

           Dean glanced up from a magazine, Sam standing a few feet away with his duffel packed. “Where you going?”

           “Jody’s,” he said, walking to the stairs, “she called about issues with a wolf pack and wanted some help. By the time her, Donna, and Claire make it there they’ve picked up and moved on.”

           Nodding, he marked his page and stood. “Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be ready –“

           “Actually,” Sam coughed, blushing, “I was planning on driving over there alone.”

           Stunned, Dean allowed a beat to pass before asking. “Oh?” brow raised, “You sick of me already? Alaska to Kansas too long being stuck in a car with your brother.” It’s only been a day since they returned, but it’s all the difference. Dean and Sam felt more like themselves after their luck returned. Being average was an interesting experience, one Dean never wanted to go through again. He would go mad if it became his reality. “Because I’ll tell you,” he continued, “it wasn’t me stinking up the cabin with those Gas-n-Sip burrito farts.”

           Sam’s lips pursed and then thinned. “No,” he said, “you were too busy puking into a plastic bag after eating Bess’s grilled cheeses… again.”

           Dean shrugged, neck heating up at the memory. “What? They were good.”

           “You were lactose intolerant!”

           “I call bullshit on that,” he argued, “Cavities, I get. Skills getting rusty, sure. But me gushing chunks after so much as a cheese stick? No – that makes no sense. Chuck was just being a dick with that one… keeping me from cheese.” Dean huffed, crossing his arms, “At least that’s not the case anymore, right? Me and cheese are friends again.” Sam’s bitchiness intensified. “Anyway… why’re you leaving me behind?”

           As if Dean stabbed a pin into his balloon, Sam’s irritation deflated into a shyness. His shoe scuffed against the floor. “Well… I wasn’t the first person Jody called.”

           “Right, you mentioned Donna –“

           “Because, well… because Eileen is still en route.”

           The clouds parted. Light streams through and brightened Dean’s face, his grin stretching wide until his cheeks hurt. “Oh,” he said, “that’s why –“

           “Dean…”

           “You don’t want me crashing your little date,” he chuckled, delighting in Sam’s scowl. “What? Afraid I’d embarrass you in front of her… like she didn’t see enough when she was haunting our home like Casper.”

           “Dean –“

           “You already kissed her Sam, and she’s still kicking,” Dean said, slapping the magazine across his knee. Aware of how close Sam was to having a meltdown, he pumped the brakes. “Go. Have fun with your girlfriend hunting weres,” he sighed, “I’ll watch the fort… alone… with nothing but my hand for company.”

           Sam huffed, a smile threatening the dark corners of his lips. “You can always call Cas.”

           “He’s busy,” Dean told him, mirth draining from his voice. “On his way back from Heaven he found a case in Southern California.” He wrung the magazine in his hands, wrinkling the pages. “You’ll probably be back before him.”

           After exchanging quick goodbyes, Sam left. Seconds passed after the front door’s heavy slam, Dean wasting no time to sneak away towards the kitchen. Using his first night to revel in all the shameful acts Sam would cast a judgmental stare at. Like piling meats and cheeses – no vegetables – onto toasted bread. Paired with as many different fries he could find in the freezer and empty onto the baking tray. Enjoyed his meal alongside a very adult film, one Sam would make him watch hidden in his room. Where the grunts and moans were contained. They echoed in the War Room, mixed with Dean’s own laughter.

           Except porn can only be so interesting.

           He lost interest rather quickly without someone being there, around to possibly walk in. Catch him in the act and then admonish him. Loneliness softened the edges of thrilling danger. By the fifth movie, Dean tied his robe shut and waddled off towards the showers to clean up.

           All throughout the shower, Dean wondered what he should do next. Pranking Sam felt too pointless, knowing his brother would return with a goofy smile and good mood that would be difficult to ruin. If he wanted any chance his energies were better saved coming up with over-invasive questions to pester him with.

           Outside the washroom, Dean turned and wondered about the shooting range. The idea fit like an old shirt. Familiar, but ineffective. Dean outgrowing the need to blast bullet holes in his problems. Especially boredom.

           He kept thinking while in the shower, lathering his body on autopilot. Not realizing he finished until he saw his reflection. Towel wrapped around his hair, eyes tinged red from where shampoo must have fallen in, and a piece of floss hanging from his mouth.

           “I want you to promise me you’ll floss from now on,” Garth said, shoving the plastic cartridge into his hand.

           Lips pursed, he tried handing it back. “If Alaska’s what you promised, I doubt I’ll need to worry about my teeth again.”

           Garth fought, forcing his fingers around it with the supernatural strength he reminded Dean at every chance during this encounter. The pressure around his wrist sent sparks firing up his spine like fireworks. “It don’t matter,” he growled. “Luck is temporary. Good teeth are forever.”

           His gums tingled with minty freshness, but it wasn’t too horrible. Better than the cavities, or the process it went to fill them.

           “But that laughing gas…”

           He propped himself up on the sink, remembering the insane choreography his mind dreamed up during that affected state. Inspired by some Ginger Rodgers-flick he must’ve caught late at night when he couldn’t sleep. And after flipping through channels, stumbling upon her spinning in Fred Astaire’s arms and marveling at the ease with which they both glided through the number made the late hours pass in a blink until Sam knocked on his door, inviting him for breakfast.

           It looked supernatural, but Fred and Ginger weren’t blessed like Sam and Dean. Their talent came from hard work, and not a boost from God.

           “But anyone can be a good dancer,” he mumbled, “I bet, with time, I could…”

           Resolved, Dean tore the floss from his mouth and hurried to get changed. A simple hoodie and sweats, easy to move in. Hurried to his laptop left in the war room, frozen in ecstasy, and began the search.

           The first few websites he tried were articles. They detailed what Dean needed to start and the different types of dancing he could try. A few looked rather impossible for a beginner like him, and others required two participants. An hour in, he found one written by a former tap dancer detailing the history of the style and their experience in the last twenty years. He sat, captivated, learning how it was more than just simple clickity-clacking. How tap mixed together a variety of cultural styles and grew in popularity. Transitioning from minstrel shows to vaudeville acts and jazz. Booming from the late Eighteen hundreds into its height of the twenties and thirties, slowly falling out of the spotlight after that.

           “Each class I took I felt a little bit happier with myself,” the author wrote, “I didn’t really have much to be proud of… some days it was like I passed through the day. Existing, but doing nothing with my life. Watching myself dance in the mirror and complete a complicated routine and thinking ‘I did that’ it… it gave me the energy to make it into the next day.”

           At the bottom of the article, a few links auto-populated to tap dancing videos. Dean clicked on the first and spiraled.

           He’s hungry, skipping lunch and dinner to dance. It’s probably nighttime, except Dean won’t check his phone. All Dean knows is that there is a minute left of the video, his ankles hurt, and he has only a few more steps to go until putting it all together.

           “Okay,” he says, dragging the button to the very start, “let’s give this a try.”

           Dean waits for the music to play, nerves twisting together and strangling his heart. He ignores them in favor of focusing on the instructor counting him in. His foot slides to the side and lightly taps the floor. Gentle smack mixing with the jazzy piano and clack from the professional tap shoes. Repeats the process with the other foot.

           And then he’s dancing.

           It’s not the greatest, Dean stumbling a few times. But he powers through. Does as he read and keeps moving onto the next step.

           Halfway through he finds the pain in the lower half of his body overpowered by the ache in his face from smiling too wide, for too long. Exhaustion fades as Dean allows the joy of dance to flood in. Stops thinking and blacks out, coming to when the video ends.

           Silent save for the singular clapping from nearby.

           Dean whirls around, startled. He trips over himself, snapping the laptop closed. Fire crawls up his shirt and tints his neck, Dean glad the hood hides most of it.

           Castiel arches a brow at the display, hands paused on the downswing in a mock prayer. “That was wonderful Dean,” he says, “I didn’t know you could dance.”

           Tongue heavy, he tries his best. “I don’t. I mean… not really. Not professionally and, usually, not at all. But I… I had the time, and I thought I could do it. Figured, while I was on my own, I’d see if I could do it.” Dean folds his arms over his chest, huffing a deep breath. Painfully aware of the sweat stains soaking his fists while they hide in his armpits. “Just started doing it a couple of minutes ago actually.”

           “Really?”

           “Yeah.”

           He hums, drifting closer. Castiel drags his fingers across the map until he reaches the laptop. Hand hovering over Dean’s, almost touching it. Radiating heat and electricity that leaves him jumpy and frozen to the ground.

           “You’re really talented,” he says, “and you never did this before?” Dean shakes his head, too afraid his voice would break if he were to use it. “Amazing… do you think –“ Castiel chuckles, gaze darting to the side and away from Dean. “Do you think I could join you?”

           “You… what?”

           “I might not be any good,” he continues, “but you were enjoying yourself, and I could…”

           His expression shifts, crinkles of delight smoothing around his eyes into a somber reflection. Dean frowns, “Hey. You could what?”

           “I could…” He breathes deeply, “I could use the distraction. Things haven’t been going my way the past couple of days…”

           “The hunt?”

           Castiel draws into himself, Dean following until his fingers hit the edge of the laptop. “I wasn’t all that needed,” he says, “When I got there, it was in time to group up with another pair of hunters who already taken down the shifter in its nest. Barely spent an hour in town…”

           “Well,” he shrugs, “at least the monster was taken care of.”

           “Still,” Castiel wryly smirks, “I can’t help the selfish feeling of wanting to be the one to solve the case. To come back home with some sort of accomplishment under my belt.”

           Dean understands where his angel’s mind is. Replays their last conversation, where Castiel told Dean that none of the angels left in Heaven had an inkling of where Chuck might have gone. If he hung around their plane of existence or moseyed on to greener pastures. How disappointed he felt. “Another failure –“

           “Don’t say that,” he mumbled, turning away from Sam so the other man couldn’t hear him. Wouldn’t if he kept his head buried in his book. “You got the Leviathan blossom, remember?”

           “And look how well that went.”

           There wasn’t any other option. So, when he opens the laptop and clicks on the next video, he guides Castiel to where he stood when practicing. “Let me know when you want me to pause it,” he says, “and don’t be afraid to ask me to play it back if you need to. Oh,” he tugs on the trench coat’s lapels, “You might want to lighten your wardrobe. Probably be more difficult dancing with all this on.”

           Castiel nods, slipping free from his armor. Allows Dean to hang both coat and suit jacket on a nearby chair, tossing his tie after unwrapping it. He finishes rolling up his sleeves when the first video begins. “Thank you, Dean.”

           “It’s literally nothing Cas. Now pay attention, it’s… dammit, she already started. Hold on let me go back.”

           Dean tries his best. But dancing becomes increasingly difficult with the addition to his class. Every so often Castiel’s elbow knocks into his and the entire routine falls apart. Lucky that he didn’t own tap shoes to start with, so mistakes went unnoticed. Castiel’s heavy brow furrowed while he pieces together the steps.

           “I think I’m getting the hang of it,” Castiel says, foot flapping on the floor like a dying fish. Laughing, hopping between left and right. “I like this.”

           Dean giggles alongside him, dizzy from either the lack of food or air. His friend stealing all of it from his lungs. “Yeah. Dancing’s fun.”

           “Why don’t we do this more often.”

           “Well, uh…” Dean scratches his chin, “I mean, men aren’t… men don’t dance, all that much. At least we’re not supposed to.”

           “Who said?”

           “…Society?”

           Castiel nods. He pauses the video, never breaking his stare with Dean. “I see… that’s why you were doing this when neither Sam nor I were here, then?” Dean shrugs his answer. “Society’s rules are stupid,” Castiel continues, smiling, “and you’re a lovely dancer. You shouldn’t be ashamed of it.”

           “I’m not,” he rushes to defend. Wincing when Castiel’s brow arches at him. “I wouldn’t be… if I knew I was good. I hadn’t done all that much dancing before now.”

           “And after?”

           “After what?”

           “After today,” Castiel asks, “Will you continue dancing?”

           His face burns hotter. “I don’t know,” Dean says. Pouts and hides his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “It’s fun, but at my age… all this is kind of a killer on the body. I might not be able to kick for about a month.”

           He hums again. “Well,” Castiel turns to the video, “what you chose to do can be… intense. Are there any other styles of dance you’re interested in exploring?”

           Dean didn’t think he would agree so readily. And after explaining how it would work, figured Castiel would respectfully decline. Instead he asked Dean what song would best fit the style. Hung close while Dean typed into the search bar, hip pressed tight to his shoulder. Devil nowhere in sight because the presence of his angel shone too bright.

           “So,” he says, soft music playing in the background, “we kind of… leave our hands like this.” Dean places one of Castiel’s on his shoulder, the other floating for a long beat until, taking too long, Castiel twines their fingers together. “What –“

           “I’ve seen some people do this,” Castiel says, “Is that not right?”

           “No, no you’re right. It’s just…” Very intimate. A loaded gesture. Not an act he ever would have pictured escaping his dreams and becoming reality. People like Garth and Bess could enjoy it… Sam and Eileen if they worked through their issues… but him and Cas? “It’s fine,” he says, “really.”

           “You’re sure –“

           “Dammit Cas, shut up and sway.” Dean ends their conversation, coaxing the other man into a rhythm so he wouldn’t have to talk any longer. Calmed when he joins and relinquishes the fight. He dives headfirst into the gentle waves of guitar strings. A soothing country melody the soundtrack to their first dance.

           Dean peeks at Castiel’s profile and tamps down the awed sigh exploding in his chest. Only a glimpse needed to see the whole picture. Fills in the blank canvas with an unviable future. Maybe Dean wears something fancier than the hoodie with holes in random places from countless moth bites. A sleek black tuxedo tailored to show every curve and angle. Or pure white, so radiant and shining he personifies Heaven. Shiny wingtips that would capture the reflection of the happiest day his life could produce.

           All the fancy window dressing for him wouldn’t fit Castiel. He would wear his armor like always, Dean holding tight to the trench coat as they circled the floor. Dean stares at it where it rests now. Hides his smile in Castiel’s shoulder, giving nothing away.

           “Dean?”

           Humming, Dean squeezes and grips Castiel’s shirt tight in his fist. “Yeah?”

           “I don’t think this is appropriate…” Wings clipped, Dean hurdles to Earth. His feet stumble over each other in his rush to stop, and suddenly his angel’s touch turns cloying. Before he can say anything, though, Castiel continues. “Aren’t we supposed to go fast when the music picks up?”

           “What?”

           “The song’s over,” Castiel says, lips quirking at the ends. Dean tunes into his surroundings to find the music changed to a mid-tempo rock song that, while not too speedy, definitely put their earlier moves out of place. He blushes, stepping away from Castiel. “Wait,” he says, closing in around Dean’s wrist. Keeping him close. “are we done dancing?”

           Hope glitters in Castiel’s eyes, blinding Dean from escape. “No,” Dean tells him, “We can still dance.”

           “How does one dance to a song like this?”

           “…Watch.”

           Dean spins on his heel, startling Castiel. Wastes no time in shedding the sludge of his overreaction, shaking it off with each wild bounce of his limbs. Hops from left to right, grinning like he was sixteen again. Slammed between punks in the middle of a crowded room while a band blasted his eardrums deaf.

           “What are you doing?” Castiel asks, laughing.

           Dean bounds close and snags Castiel’s hand, dragging him forward. “I’m dancing!”

           “This is dancing?”

           “Yeah!” He won’t release him until the other man joins him. Holding Castiel hostage, demanding a ransom of stupidity and silliness. His angel reluctantly allows his shoulders to shrug in time. From how horribly he schools his features, though, Dean knows not an ounce of disdain lives within. “Come on, Cas. You wanted to dance? It’s not all sweeping ballrooms or planned directions. Sometimes it’s frantic. It’s crazy. It’s the first thing that comes to mind!”

           “The first thing that comes to mind?”

           Dean reigns in his excitement at the deviousness peppering Castiel’s grin. Lessens his jumps to tiny hops. “What are you -?”

           Castiel spins him off. Sends Dean flying with a strength that nearly has him kissing the floor. Instead he slides to a stop and spends a beat regaining his balance. Confident in his ability to stand straight, Dean whirls to face Castiel. The comment locked into the barrel of his mouth misfires and leaves his jaw hanging.

           His angel mirrored him, slightly. Jumps tinged with caution, hesitation etched into the lines of his smile. Arms arcing to and from, fists raised high above his head until slamming down. “Like this?” he asks.

           Nodding, Dean hisses a low whistle. “Beautiful.”

           “...Dean?”

           “Yeah?”

           “Are you going to watch me or are you going to dance?”

           He chuckles, “What I do Cas… you can’t just call dancing.”

           When listening to music, Dean always paid attention to when it began and ended. Learned how to tell when one song bled into another. Differentiate between the minutia, varying chords played or notes sung in the arrangement. Could identify a song in the first few seconds of air time.

           However, with Castiel, Dean cannot believe one song can last into eternity. Loses himself in the moment and lets everything else fade into static. Nothing more important than seeing how wide Castiel’s lips can stretch until they rip in half. Dean goads his good humor with ridiculousness after ridiculousness. He shimmies hips and drags his fingers across his eyes, Castiel smirks. Kicking a chair, collapsing into it and pretending to drop a bucket of water over his body makes his angel chuckle. Laughter erupts when Dean tries to teach Castiel how to do the macarena.

           They’ve devolved in their movements. Exhaustion cutting the wires above Dean’s elbows and wrists. His panting overpowers the music.

           Dean shuffles backwards to sit on the edge of the war table. Castiel joins, bracketing him in on either side with his arms. Accidentally closing the laptop with a drunken slap from his hand. “Oops.”

           “Cas,” Dean sighs, lightly shoving his chest, “serious party foul.”

           “My bad,” he says, tilting his head in the familiar way that causes Dean’s hear to beat double-time. “Although… I doubt this party would have lasted any longer.”

           “What makes you say that?”

           “The fact you can barely keep your eyes open for less than a minute…” Castiel’s hand traces Dean’s arm, crawling up it and leaving fire in its wake. It settles on his cheek, thumb brushing against the stubble there. “Dean…”

           He fights against the molasses slowly pouring down his face and covering his eyes. “Yeah?”

           “Dean, I –“

           Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.

           Castiel slaps his face. He doesn’t, but the speed with which his hand tears itself away from Dean stings like a slap. Both turn and stare above at Sam, the taller man clapping from the balcony.

           “Wow,” he says, stomping down the nearby staircase, “you two were good. I didn’t know either of you had the skills… but I guess that’s on me, isn’t it?”

           “Sam,” Castiel says, pouting, “How long have you been…”

           “Not long.” He shrugs off his duffle, dumping the bag at his feet. “I caught the grand finale… a nice welcome home. Although you didn’t have to. I could’ve enjoyed it at breakfast instead of three in the morning.”

           “Three in the morning?” Dean asks, fumbling for his phone. Blinking on, the curved number mocks him. “That long…”

           A throat clears from nearby. He looks from his phone to Castiel, his angel fiddling with his hands. “I didn’t realize,” Castiel says, gathering his jackets, “it’s late… I should probably let you two rest. Sam. Dean…” One meaningful gaze that leaves Dean feeling exposed and raw later, Castiel exits.

           Something rocks into his side, knocking him to the left. Sam smirks, sitting too close to him on the table. Eyebrow cocked in brotherly mischief. Dean scowls, “Seriously?”

           “What?”

           “You’re a jerk, you know that.”

           Sam laughs, “I think I was within my rights.”

           “I could’ve been so much worse to you, y’know,” Dean says, “I almost cut holes in all your underwear.”

           “Glad to hear you didn’t.” He claps Dean’s leg, pushing off the table and snatching his duffle. “Cas is right. We need our rest…” Sam walks as far as the doorjamb, stopping underneath to round on him. “By the way… remember what I was talking about? About Cas’s staring? That’s what I meant.”

           Dean fumes in his wake. “Oh yeah? Well… at least he stares at me!” His brother’s obnoxious laughter was the worst music he heard that night. Too wired to follow the others to their respective bases, Dean instead opens his laptop again and hits play.

           It’s not the same, but it’s a reminder. A possibility. Hope.

[theatrelove3000]

My Nonna

I based this one off of an ASMR video by TheWhiteRabbitASMR (this is the link if you’re interested) and I couldn’t help but use her character for Noelle’s Grandmother. I always liked the idea of Loki meeting the good parts of Elle’s Family so this seemed right.

I swear, all this spam is relevant to my new stuff!

Background: Noelle and Loki were “Bound” by a witch in Alfheim after a battle they fought in. This means that the witch split each of their souls in half and one half switched places. Noelle has half of Loki’s soul and vice versa. They can feel each other's emotions and hear each other's thoughts. Noelle is also Half Asgardian, half Midgardian. Her father is Tyr and her mother is of Midgard.

Summary: Loki is introduced to Noelle’s Italian grandparents

Warnings: Fluff. I think I watched my mouth for this one so there shouldn’t be any swears? I don’t remember.

My Nonna

Noelle PoV:

"Okay, this one is hers. I'm going to warn you. She will demand you eat everything she can think of. She will feed you even if you're full and never accept no as an answer. She will also ask you a million questions that you won't always have an answer to. But she's great! You'll be fine." I ramble out as we walk up the steps to my Nonna's house. He chuckles and pulls me close to kiss my forehead. I take a deep breath and squeeze Loki's hand as we walk in.

It's about 12:30 so she will be in the kitchen. We find her at the kitchen table muttering at the newspaper.

"Hi, Nonna!" I say to get her attention.

"Oh, my darling!" She exclaims in her thick Italian accent. "Oh my goodness. Oh, come. Come to Nonna, come here." She kisses my cheeks and my forehead repeatedly. I giggle a little bit and pull away. "How are you, my bambina? What are you doing? Oh my love, my beauty. How are you doing, my little bambina?"

"I'm good, Nonna. How are you?"

"I miss you so much! Your Nonna miss you. Where have you been, ah? Where have you been?"

"I've been working, else I would come see you more."

"Ah, yes, yes, yes. I know, I know it's very very difficult now, this moment. With the many changes in the life, I know. But you gotta make time for Nonna!"

"Yes, ma'am. Nonna, this is Loki." I take Loki's hand and pull him up to the forefront with me so she can see him clearly. "My husband, Nonna."

"Ah! Your husband! You have a husband, my little bambina? You are married? Since when? Why did I not go?"

"It was a really sudden wedding. I didn't know it was happening until an hour before I said 'I do.'"

"Come here, let me see you, bambino, come to Nonna." She grabs Loki's arm and he lowers himself in front of her, she kisses his cheeks and he blushes slightly. He kisses her cheek as well, which surprises me a ton if I'm being honest.

"Sit, sit, sit. Both of you, sit. Have some lunch with me."

"We just ate, Nonna. We don't want to intrude-"

"What do you mean you just ate. No, no, no. Sit down. You have lunch with me, you keep Nonna company. You just ate." She scoffs. "You so thin, you so thin! Look at you! You are a nothingness. No, no. If you turn this a way, you just poof! You disappear. No. I don't take no for an answer. You eat with Nonna."

Loki is chuckling at the exchange as she pinches my cheeks and wags her finger at me. "What you giggling about over there, husband? Ah? You're too thin, too. You eat with me, with Nonna."

"As you wish, ma'am." He stops chuckling. I elbow him in the ribs.

"Why you so thin, why they no feed you at home? Ah? Why your mother not call me?" She asks.

I stop for a moment and take a deep breath, "She can't call you, Nonna." I say quietly. She has bad memory so she doesn't remember my mother getting sick. At first, I reminded her every time I saw her but she would just cry so I don't anymore. I just say she can't call.

Loki looks at me and takes my hand under the table, squeezing gently. 'Are you alright?' I glance at him and respond 'Yes.'

Meanwhile Nonna is still talking. "One day, I'm not be here and they will cry! They will cry. Oh, not you, my little Bambina, no no no. You're a good one. You always come and see Nonna, I love you!" She stands up and goes the the cupboard behind her. "You want some milk? I get you some milk. You want some cookies with your milk? The cookies with milk? You remember when you were a little kid and you always had the cookies in the milk? That was nice, ah? I get you some."

I glance at Loki, who is grinning at me and Nonna. He's clearly amused.

"You know I still have you're little bowl!" She turns to Loki, "I keep everything. My bambina use this as a baby, ah? You remember, Bambina?" I nod at her. She looks back at me "You want a little..." she taps on the glass in her hand, trying to remember the word. "Spoon! You want a little spoon?"

"No, thank you."

"Okay, I can pour some milk for you." She picks up the milk from the table. "I know you are... intolerant to the lactose. I got you milk with no lactose. But don't you tell me that you becoming one of those who are allergic to life, okay? I understand the milk thing but the cheese! Why you cannot eat, ah?" She looks slightly put out. We have this conversation often but she doesn't always remember.

"The cheese has lactose, Nonna."

"Ah, I have found mozzarella without the lactose. So next time Nonna make you lasagna, you will have the cheese without the lactose."

"I would love that, Nonna, thank you."

"Ah, Nonna think of you. Nonna love you!"

We eat a bit of everything she puts in front of us, Loki more than me. I keep feeding him my food so Nonna thinks that I am eating it by myself.

"Where is Nonno? Is he still asleep?"

"Ah, your Nonno. Ever since that pension, he do not wake up at a decent time. He wake up whenever he want to. He wake up nine o'clock in the morning. He no wake up at a decent time."

I laugh, "Nonna, you wake up way earlier than a normal person."

She scowls at me lightly, "4:30 is a decent time in the morning."

"Whatever you say, Nonna."

The entire visit lasts about 2 hours. She spends the whole time feeding us and eventually convinces us to have dinner with them as well. I tell her about my new family, the Avengers, and she demands that she makes dinner for all of them. Loki texts Tony with my phone to ask how many people were in the tower and I took Nonna to the store so she can buy what she needs. We go and get Nonno before heading back to the tower, where she makes all of us dinner.

Nonno falls asleep in the living room with Steve and Bucky, who also pass out on each other. Natasha takes tons of pictures while Wanda and Tony help Nonna in the kitchen. Tony surprises me by speaking in fluent Italian to both her and Nonno. When Peter and Morgan come in with Pepper, I introduce them to Nonna.

She gasps upon seeing little Morgan, "Ah! What a bellissimo piccola! A pretty little girl. Come, come, darling. I will be your Nonna!" She takes Morgan from me and holds her hand, walking her over to where her father is making the dessert. Tony lifts Morgan onto the counter and gives her a pastry he just finished. Pepper just smiles.

When dinner is ready, Nonna gathers us at the table (Loki extended it with his magic for this evening) and we devoured every bite of everything she made. Peter and Morgan eat way more desert than anything else, so their energy levels spiked rapidly towards the end. Eventually Tony sent them to the couch, where they bounced around for a bit before falling asleep with the sugar crash while watching a movie.

"Why you no tell me my Bambina getting married, ah? Why you no tell Nonna?" Nonna rants at Tony. His demeanor is calm but I could tell from his energy that he was nervous.

"I didn't know you were around, sweet lady. I would have invited you if I knew." He explains gently.

She scoffs and wags her finger at me, "You supposed to tell your Nonna you getting married!"

"I'm sorry, Nonna."

"It's okay, my little bambina. My love, my beauty. Ah, your Nonna love you. You're a good one." She pinches my cheeks and starts talking to Pep about the kids.

Loki laughs quietly and kisses my temple before whispering in my ear, "And you were worried about how she would react to me." Followed by another chuckle. I lean over and kiss his cheek.

"I wasn't worried about how she would react to you. I was worried about how well she would take a random shock about something this big." I retort. He grins and kisses me full on the mouth, earning fake puking sounds from Clint and Nat while Steve blushes and Thor applauds.

"No kissing the bambina in front of Nonna, husband." Nonna shouts across the table before turning to Tony, "He a ragazzaccio over there, ah?"

"Si nonna, è cattivo!"

"Tony!" I cry, laughing.

Tony flushes, "You know what I said?" He said, slightly shocked.

"Of course I do. Look at the woman you are talking to and tell me that she wouldn't teach me Italian as a child. Go ahead, I'll wait." I fold my arms across my chest and throw on my best smug smirk.

Tony glances at Nonna then back at me, "I guess you're right." I laugh and go back to talking to Loki.

Around about 9:30, we take Nonna and Nonno home. I make sure Nonno gets in bed and bid Nonna a good night, promising to come back next week.

It's a beautiful night, it being early June in New York, so Loki and I decide to walk back to the tower since its only a few blocks away. We walk along the street hand in hand, laughing and talking about everything that has happened in the past three months that he had been gone. As we walk through Central Park, Loki pulls me to a stop under a big tree and pulls me close to him. He leans his forehead down on mine.

"I really missed you, My Queen." He whispers.

"I missed you more." I tell him. He smiles.

"My apologies, Lady Friggason, but I am afraid that I must inform you that that is quite impossible. I missed you like the sun misses the moon, destined to chase you, forever and a day. I missed you because I love you. I love you like a studded leather jacket worn inside out, digging into my chest eager to draw blood." He brings his lips to mine softly.

"You are very dramatic." I mutter between his kisses.

"You love it." He answers.

I shrug and nod in agreement, pulling him back for another kiss. It doesn't last long. We pull away after a minute and walk back to the tower.

[loveforpreserumsteve]

Those Who Fall: “APTF” Story (Modern Domestic Stucky AU)

Twenty-Three:

"I can never get these da--" Steve glanced at the younger kids and quickly corrected "--rn things open."

"Here," Katie offered, holding her hand out across the island. Once Steve gave it to her, she placed one hand at each end and easily twisted the long can. Hearing the, POP!, Katie handed it back to Steve.

"I loosened it for you," Steve joked as he continued twisting it until the Pillsbury Pizza Crust landed on the floured counter.

"Sure," Katie giggled while Jonas commented, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes, but focused on Ethan and Sophia who were standing on kitchen chairs in front of the counter. Dividing it in half for the pair, Steve asked, "Did you want to use the cookie cutters to make them pumpkins?"

"Yes!" The pair exclaimed, excitedly hopping up and down and causing Steve to nearly have a heart attack when Sophia's chair rocked unsteadily.

"Sophia Rose!" Steve reprimanded while Bucky held the chair of the little boy to stop him, "Ethan Patrick!"

As they stopped, Steve's racing heart took a moment to slow back to its normal, uneven thumping. All they needed was for them to crack their heads open. Steve shook his head, trying to get those images out of his mind. Beside him, Bucky must've known how Steve was feeling because he started rubbing Steve's back.

Leaning over, Bucky kissed Steve's temple and reassured, "It's okay."

Nodding, Steve made sure that the knives were closer to the older teens than the kids. Walking over to the cabinets, Steve pressed down on the baby-lock and pulled open the drawer with the cookie cutters. Stars and hearts. Flowers and candy canes. Even finding the penis shaped ones that Natasha had gotten him for his bachelor party, in the far back of the drawer. Blushing a little, Steve grabbed the pumpkin, ghost, and bat, just to give them some options.

Walking back over to the kids, Steve noticed that Katie was using the cat cookie cutters. While she used one hand to press down on the cutter, she dropped some shredded mozzarella cheese into her mouth. Poor thing, despite being lactose intolerant and her favorite food being cheese. Just like cats. Always loving the things that could hurt her.

Placing the cookie cutters on the counter, Vis politely asked, "May I use the ghost real quick?"

"Sure, ya can," Bucky reached for the ghost cutter to hand it to the young man, both smiling; Bucky's more confident in the moment but encouraged the younger man's all the same.

"Thanks," Vis averted his gaze. Beside him, Wanda gave his back a rub before she went back to eating banana peppers and fresh spinach while constructing her own pizza.

"Geez," Jonas good-humoredly teased, "What're ya tryin' to do? Be number one son?"

Briefly, Vis looked worried. Almost as though he believed that he had offended the other young man. When Katie snorted though and Jonas started chuckling, Vis relaxed. Steve wondered if he should tell his kids to take it easy on Vis. But this was who his kids were. They were sarcastic and sassy and Steve loved them for how they handled themselves in situations that could be considered awkward. And Steve knew that them playfully messing with Vis was bringing him into their world.

They were treating Vis like family.

Ethan's whining regained Steve's attention. Looking down at the little boy, Steve saw that he was struggling with the pizza crust. Sophia had already cut hers out and Steve asked, "Want some help, bub?"

Sniffling, Ethan nodded and Steve brought his hands around Ethan and took hold of his little hands. Guiding him, Steve placed his hands back on the cookie cutter and pushed down. Using his fingers to touch the top and bottom of the cutter where Ethan's fingers couldn't reach, Steve pressed down on the pumpkin cutter while allowing his son to think that he was the one cutting the dough.

Pulling back, Steve removed the cutter and the shaped dough, so Ethan could see that it had worked. Lighting up, Ethan turned to look up at Steve and said, "I did it!" Looking to Bucky, he exclaimed, "Daddy, I did it!"

"Good job, honey!" Bucky encouraged, winking at the little boy.

Proud of himself, Ethan redirected his attention to the leftover dough in front of him, and Steve asked, "Do you want to cut out some more?"

Ethan nodded and Steve helped him cut out a couple more from the leftover pizza crust dough. All the while, Sophia used the other pumpkin cookie cutter. They were a little messy around the edges, but she was doing them herself and she looked up at Steve seeking approval.

"You're doing such a good job, sweetie," Steve encouraged, earning a large grin in reply.

While Bucky free-handedly shaped his own pizza dough into a classic circle, he leaned over and kissed Steve's temple. As he went to focus on his pizza again, Steve turned his head and tilted his chin up. Thankfully, Bucky got the gist and leaned back in to press a kiss to Steve's lips. Then, before Steve could pull back, Bucky dropped a quick succession of kisses to his mouth.

"Ewww," Jonas exaggerated while Katie mocked a gagging noise.

And since they were acting like that, the little kids copied them. Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and Steve childishly stuck his tongue out at his children. Once they settled down, Steve spooned out some of the infamous Joe Rogers' Slammin' Jammin' Homemade Pizza Sauce onto the crusts and let the little kids spread it around with their fingers.

"Want me to make yours, babe?" Bucky asked, already done with making his own.

"Please," Steve answered, supervising Ethan and Sophia as they started reaching out to touch each other with sauce hands. "If you two don't stop, you're not going to have enough time to eat them before the game."

"Fine," Sophia dramatically sighed, tossing her head back just like her older siblings often did.

Steve shook his head but ducked down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Thank you."

"I want a kiss, too, papa," Ethan exclaimed, tipping his head back just like Sophia had.

Just like he had with Sophia, Steve kissed Ethan's forehead. Looking closer at the little boy, Steve spotted sauce smears on his glasses and flour on his cheek. Shaking his head, Steve let Ethan get back to assembling his pizza. Making a mental note to thoroughly wash him once they were done eating.

Sophia glanced over to the side where Vis and Wanda were stationed, she said, "Whoa! What happened to your arm?!"

Which, of course, had everyone look over at Vis. It even had Vis looking down at his own arm. Steve didn't see anything wrong with his arm, but he did notice a tattoo. An impressive piece of metal gears peeking out through faux torn skin being held by fake staples.

As Vis went to hide his arm from view, Sophia looked down at her own arms and asked, "Is that what's inside of us?"

Bucky barked out a laugh and Steve said, "No, honey. It's a tattoo. Just like what daddy and I have. Just like what Katie has."

"What?" Katie stopped eating olives and her eyes widened. Then, she narrowed her eyes at Jonas and accused, "You tattled!"

"No, I didn't," Jonas defended himself, looking equally as surprised.

Rolling his eyes, Steve explained, "We follow Mya on instagram."

"I need a new best friend," Katie muttered. Telling her parents, "I was going to tell you."

"It's okay," Bucky assured. Chuckling, "At least we've been in your position before, so we can understand."

"Hey," Steve took a step away from his husband as though physically distancing himself from that situation and mockingly defended himself, "My mom knew when I got tatted."

Feigning offense, Bucky said, "We're supposed to be a team."

Steve shook his head and Ethan asked, "What's a tattoo?"

"It's a picture on your skin," Wanda explained.

Actually offended, Ethan looked at the adults in the room and demanded, "I want a picture on me!"

"When you're older," Steve told him while Bucky promised, "I'll even get one with you!"

That brought Ethan's grin back as he turned to beam up at Bucky as he excitedly questioned, "Really?!"

"Yup," Bucky confirmed, winking at him.

Sophia asked Vis, "Did you get your tattoo with your daddy, too?"

A flash of despair crossed Vis's face and Steve wanted to immediately apologize for his daughter.  As much as Steve loved children -- and his more specifically -- he hated how tactless they were. Especially in moments like these.

"No," Vis weakly smiled at the eight year old, "I wish that I did though."

Wanda rubbed his back, and Sophia offered, "Maybe you can get one with my daddy. He's a good daddy. Papa is too."

Bucky leaned over to kiss Sophia's cheek in a silent thanks. Before Ethan could demand for one, Bucky kissed his cheek, too. Vis's smile grew and he asked, "You'd share them with me?"

"'Course," Sophia shrugged as though it was the easiest decision ever. And, of course, why wouldn't it be. She'd been sharing Bucky and Steve with kids since the very moment that she arrived at their home. So, it was only logical for her to continue doing so.

A wet sniffle came from Wanda, but Holly showed her up by knocking over her bowl with the tiny, bite-size pasta. Instantly, Bucky stopped assembling his and Steve's pizzas as he took care of the fussy baby. Meanwhile, Steve picked the overturned bowl off the floor and placed it in the sink as he grabbed some paper towels.

As Steve started wiping up the noodles and red sauce, Vis crouched down to help. Steve tried to stop him, "You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind," Vis grinned. Then, he teased, "Gotta get used to it eventually, yeah?"

Steve smirked and agreed, "Yeah, I guess you do."