#and yeah the tension and suspense is kinda how stories like this work

[followerofmercy]

Actually I'm not done. I'm gonna say that I really like the direction the story took regarding Childe and Imma be a lil salty about fandom:

One, the same thing I say every time the Mare Jivaari doesn't show up and the upside down statue of the seven was considered a huge abandoned plothole and any number of things that weren't wrapped up nicely when we expected them to be:

This story is huge and it isn't done. We got Guizhong lore two real life years after she was last relevant. We got a Kaeya hangout at the end of Sumeru. This cast is huge, and some characters get put aside for a while before they get the spotlight again. Some admittedly do get overlooked (Kujou Sara I'm so sorry you deserve better and so did Signora) but, idk, I think the characters are actually really well done. I literally would not continue playing this game otherwise. The suspense of a story that isn't finished is two thirds of the appeal of this kind of game to me, and the other third is that, for the most part, characters are compelling and have novel's worth of story.

I am Childe's no 1 fan and I like to think I'm pretty good at media analysis. I think it was well written for his character specifically given a few things:

It's further evidence that he will hurt himself for his obsessions. He had a group of three homies who legitimately cared about him, and this whale was more important to him than they were. Much like how he didn't say bye to Teucer, he didn't say bye to them. He had Actual Friends, and he abandoned them in favor of his goals - goals that he then spent a month in Foul Legacy form nearly getting himself killed for.

This story is also another example of him getting completely fucked over as a tool/afterthought for other people. Skirk is awful. Childe keeps admiring and loving people that don't care about him. Yes, that did happen. Yes, it's terrible. It's supposed to be. It's the running theme every time he's onscreen and I think his story will eventually culminate in him being his own master. (Also Foçalors and Arlecchino used him this time around too, but he's indifferent to one and actively dislikes the other lmao)

Now, this is huge: he achieved his goal. He got to fight that fucking whale that's been haunting him every since he fell in that goddamn hole. I think we're glossing over how huge that is for him. I think this was the single biggest moment for him as a person. Like, yeah, from an outsider pov this patch kinda sucked for him but I think he just had the literal best moment of his life. He is now free to pursue other things, and I think he's about to have a serious moment where he has to decide whether he wants to keep being Skirk/Pierro/Arlecchino/Tsaritsa/Pulcinella's pawn, or if he wants to be his own man.

In that same vein, people's perception of him has changed. He is no longer "the annoying Harbinger causing problems." He's the HERO OF FONTAINE, and not just that, but the mostly normal human man that fought an interstellar monster for a month, and LIVED. No, he didn't kill it himself, but he's said before that winning a fight isn't the important part. It's the fight itself. He got his hero moment and I think his redemption arc is about to kick off.

That said, I really really really would've rather had an opportunity to say bye to him, check on him, literally anything lol. I think it's fair to be a annoyed that Traveler didn't say anything more than calling him a war buddy, but tbf the country flooded, the onscreen suicide count increased again, etc etc. A lot was going on and honestly, I think antagonizing Skirk would possibly end in Childe getting hurt more than just trusting her to do... something, with him.

I would've rather given his Vision back ourselves but I do think it makes sense to give it to Arlecchino, because Arlecchino is trustworthy now. Family is the only thing that's important to her, and I think she would keep her word for our and the Hearthling's sakes if not for Childe's. I'm holding out that he might be back around sooner rather than later, kinda like how Scaramouche got put in the cellar for a patch or two while he healed before he got to be the other onscreen suicide lmao.

Also. We still don't have an explanation for why his Vision was fucking up. That's not bad writing, IT'S AN INCOMPLETE STORY. I'm hoping it gets answered within two years but I'm confident that it will be answered.

Overall, I think it's totally fair to say "I did not like this," or even "This is not the most effective angle to take," but calling it bad writing and/or cheap is... incorrect lmao

Just finished archon quest. Childe and Skirk commentary:

Good God Skirk is so much worse of a person than I expected. I love her.

Most people I know hate her and I think a lot of it is because one, her design is too vtuber and not enough monster, which, fair, even if I don't 100% agree, and two, we were all kinda hoping for Childe to have his Abyssal Found Family and not the person probably single-handedly responsible for most of the things wrong with him. She is awful. She outright says that the reason Childe thought she wasn't very chatty was because he was too weak for her to bother carrying a conversation with him. A literal teenager.

The yeet wasn't funny. I don't think it was intended to be. She sounded bored the entire time, as if this man didn't just spend a MONTH IN SOUP FIGHTING A WORLD-ENDING MONSTER FROM SPACE with a delusion that's killing him.

Meeting Skirk has given me a whole new respect for Childe. He turned out this well DESPITE her?! He views that as a role model, and his biggest problem is seeing himself as a tool instead of a person?? This kid's incredible.

I'm choosing to view Skirk and Childe's relationship as Mom /neg, not because she's particularly motherly towards him even in a shitty abusive way, but because she was uniquely poised to Fuck Him Up how only a mother can. She's responsible for his life. She's everything he ever wanted to be. He's been chasing her approval ever since he fell in that hole, and he's never gonna get it. This kid needs better friends.

(Though, on the other hand, if Foul is anything like Rhinedottir, Skirk probably comes by it honestly? Skirk's awful but she might actually not be the worst case scenario)

This archon quest has completely changed how I think of both Childe and Furina and I'm losing my mind. This is going up with fullmetal alchemist as some of my alltime favorite media.

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 11

all right let's do this wretched thing

i don't even know where to begin. i'm trying to weigh it against season 6 as my least favorite season, but it's difficult. season 6 was bad because it was scattered, poorly written, poorly paced, and terribly executed. but season 11... i just really hated it conceptually. it was really hard to get over the hump and ride this whole darkness thing out—there's always a limit to suspension of disbelief, and i think when you're dabbling with real-world mythologies that limit is lower than usual.

now i think there were ways they could have executed this intelligently. like my comment a few days ago about how adding this The Darkness(tm) to the story recreates judeo-christian mythology into a form closer to proto-indo-european mythology, i think if the writers had known about the PIE creation myth and actually used that to inform their writing, they could have done something really cool, and at the same time maybe return to its "all mythologies are equal" roots instead of... whatever the fuck kinda christian supremacy propaganda they were selling this season.

not to go on a tangent, but say they cast god as manus and amara as yemo, they could have actually made a statement about the interconnectedness of (IE) religions and made the story less christianity-centric through that acknowledgment of non-abrahamic religions. i mean that's the root of all these religions in the first place. i mean the leviathan is tiamat, genesis is fix-it fic of the enuma elish, etc etc you already have the PIE influences in the old testament. the roots are there they just had to be aware of them and use them creatively.

so that's deeply disappointing. they were so close and instead of making something really cool, all they did was push some agenda that the judeo-christian god is the ultimate god and yknow i really can't respect that, especially after all the work kripke era did to dismantle that bias. it feels disrespectful to the original show and i'm not very happy with it at all.

i could go on and on about this in particular because i have so many thoughts about how it could have been handled better and more respectfully, but i'll stop there because that's the gist of my argument and ideas. outside of this i guess the seasonal plot was decent? it's hard to really gauge my opinion on it because i really just did not like this season conceptually, and my thoughts are skewed against it as a result. up to now i've at least been interested in the ideas they were putting forth, and my issues have been with the technical aspects of writing. this is... a doozy.

i'll critique the amara/dean thing. because actually this is my kink. or one of them. or an aspect of it. whatever. so i should like it. the whole "i'm being forced to love someone i don't or wouldn't otherwise" is LITERALLY my kink. i go nuts over this. but um. yeah it really did nothing for me. the blank stares and nonexistent affections between them did absolutely nothing to sell me on this bond between them. actually i liked amara's side of things a lot better, i thought she really put her at least 75% of her pussy into seducing dean, and i liked the innocence with which she approached him, like it was a given that he loved her as much as she loved him. that was good. i liked that.

dean on the other hand? really did not sell this. idk if it was jensen's acting or the writing itself or what, but i felt absolutely nothing from his end. not even a hint of his internal struggle, no fight or even desire, just total absence of anything. like he turned into a wooden board whenever she was around. really disappointing actually!! because it was such a gimme to get me to like this. i'm literally hardwired to go nuts over this exact type of plot at its worst or cheesiest or most poorly executed, and they still fumbled it hard. no chemistry, no struggle, no tension, nothing. disappointing!!! i feel like i got left high and dry here.

also after the incestuous high seasons 7-10 left me with, i gotta say s11 really flopped on the brotherfucking. there was stuff here and there, but they had so many opportunities that they completely passed up on. if you're going to have sam exclaim in his fit of magic-induced despair "you were going to choose amara over me" then idk man could you give me SOMETHING to lead up to it? obviously you can get it from context clues. the qareen episode has the ending scene too. but outside of that? really not a lot of substance there. where's sam's anguish? his despair? he's about to lose his brother, the man he married in a church and then cured of demon-ness and destroyed the entire world for, to some fucking lady, and he acts so impassive over it the whole time except like. twice? okay. i don't think it would have been so disappointing if the past four seasons hadn't been about sam and dean getting married and divorced and remarried and redivorced over and over again. it went from 100 to like. 30. sooooo quick and i felt that. i felt that.

now you could have fixed THAT by paralleling amara with sam instead of chuck (????seriously????) and having dean's central emotional conflict be about choosing amara or sam (sam being a metaphor for the world, life, creation, etc). keep the tension high by making it be a front-and-center decision dean has to make. he wants to choose sam, but it's hard because his soul wants amara and he doesn't have a say in the matter. she's bewitched him and sam is fighting to take him back and dean is clinging to sam while also reaching out to amara and it's messy and painful and sam has to watch his brother be torn out of his grasp. it would be a perfect way to continue the conflicts set up by the previous seasons, it would have made the plot stronger, and it would have fixed probably all of my gripes about the dean/amara stuff i just complained about because there would have been some externalization of this struggle instead of forcing the audience to watch dean stand woodenly in place for several minutes at a time while amara monologues at him.

like come on.

okay. i'm trying to tally up the episodes i actually liked in this season so let's see. baby was good, very creative and i respect that and what it was trying to do a lot. idk if i'd say i liked thin lizzie, but i appreciated the fact that the show returned to the roots of what soullessness means as established in season 6 through len. it felt kind of insane that every soulless person turned into a volatile killing machine when we had 11 full episodes of soulless sam showing us exactly what removing a soul is supposed to do to someone. it also might be one of the first times, if not the first time? that this show has acknowledged its insane lore retcons and tried to reconcile it with current lore. so i'll give it a gold star for effort. plush was good, as always i'm a big donna fan; into the mystic was inoffensive. i LOVED don't you forget about me because i will always be jody's #1 stan forever. love hurts had the extremely psychosexual samdean moment at the end BUT it also embodies everything i hated about the amara/dean romance so that's a hard pass for me sorry. the chitters was good—had a lot of good psychosexual samdean as the emotional core of the episode and there was that insane conversation between jesse and sam in the car that drove me bonkers. definitely my fave of the whole season, probably.

so 6 episodes? yeah okay. that sounds about right for the amount of agony i was in while watching this season. checks out. okay. (clutches my head miserably)

the finale dragged on for too long. i can't even blame it because it pretty much needed all four of those episodes and i don't even think they were particularly badly written, but four episodes is a lot of episodes to tie up the season. i also think i'm biased against this because i just really did not fucking like this season, oh my god. every second longer i spent on the plot was kind of agonizing actually.

and all the brothers stuff at the end just did not make up for what the season put me through. it felt... idk not flimsy, but in comparison to what the season gave us, neither of them seemed like very active participants in any of this and so the emotional moments just didn't hit for me. i can see the development on sam's end from "i would destroy the world for you" to "ok maybe i shouldn't have done that; i'll let you die now" but i don't really agree with it given that there are still 4 seasons left in this show. if they start getting healthy about their relationship now, there isn't going to be any intrigue left, no tension left to propel them forward into unending codependency and enmeshment. "we have to change" except they can't because the narrative requires them to be psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent because this is a show about their relationship. you have 4 seasons leading up to sam's total and complete dependency on dean only for him to become normal about him within a single season? not only does it not work like that, but it shouldn't work like that. the show has done nothing but reward them for choosing their codependency (emotionally, that is; whatever happens to the world is not their problem tbh) over everything else. to pull an about-face that hard and not even have sam break down sobbing when he thinks dean is dead is just.

well it's just.

i'm just saying. if your entire reason for living, the only thing that matters to you in the entire universe, just fucking obliterated himself, i don't think you'd be fully functional and just a tad bit sad over it. sam got half his soul ripped out of him (they are soulmates after all) and he's fine? he can walk on his own, hold a conversation, barely even cry? after all that? after dean became the foundation of his reality, after he almost killed himself because he thought dean didn't love him The Most, after he tried to make a deal with the devil to bring dean back to life, after he caused the apocalypse 2.0 because dean was a bit cranky? so he just says "this is a problem and we have to change" and it's all fixed now? ok.

i'm not saying it's 100% bad (though i certainly don't like it, and this is definitely not the reason i'm watching this show lol), but it just doesn't feel coherent with the story so far, and it doesn't have enough support for it either, especially with 4 more seasons ahead. again: if they get healthy and normal about each other now, then what in the hell are these last 4 seasons even going to be about? it really kills my motivation to keep going, i'm not gonna lie.

i didn't mean to go off on that tangent. anyway i think i'm going to be petty about this and say it's my least favorite season so far. because at least season 6 had good ideas and its issues were almost entirely with its piss-poor execution. this? just felt insulting if i can be quite honest. i worked myself up writing this but i feel more confident in my evaluation of it. from the centering of judeo-christian mythology over all others, to the lack of focus on sam and dean's relationship and their spontaneous borderline-normalcy about each other, to the total flop of what should have been the easiest goddamn plot to sell to my kinky ass, i just thoroughly did not like this season. good fucking riddance.

i'm going to read some wincest fic. wincest writers always give me what i want 💖 i'll pick a show to watch during my detox later, i haven't really thought about it since i was so focused on finishing this season before my birthday (and thank god for that too, if i'd had to watch this then i would have been miserable). anyway that's all i'll stop complaining now :)

[simplylove101]

2024 Horror Challenge: [18/?]

↳“Why are you doing this to us?" "Because you were here.” The Strangers: Chapter One (2024) dir. Renny Harlin

Plot: After their car breaks down in an eerie small town, a young couple is forced to spend the night in a remote cabin. Panic ensues as they are terrorized by three masked strangers who strike with no mercy and seemingly no motive.

Starring: Madelaine Petsch, Froy Gutierrez, Gabriel Basso, Ema Horvath & Ella Bruccoleri

Well, it's time. I have watched the reboot. lol And... eh, I gotta say from the jump, I definitely get where the negativity is coming from tbh. I tried to go in with an open mind but having already heard certain things, I couldn't block them out. First thing, cuz I called it in my last review, I was already annoyed by the time we got to Dollface's "Is Tamara here?" because the way they sold it this time just made my eye roll. By now I wish they didn't feel they needed to include that in every movie because it gets so old each time and loses any effect of suspense it had. I don't really get why they felt the need to make the people of the small town before they get to the B&B seem creepy themselves when we all know who the villains are in this story unless that's gonna come up later in the trilogy somehow idk. Just felt unnecessary and forced. I went into this watching for Madelaine since I do generally think a horror aesthetic suits her well and I do think she did as good as she could with the material she was given to work with, which wasn't a whole lot imo. They were going for the slowburner vibe like the original (I think they attempted to play homage to the most famous scene from that during a piano moment but it's not nearly as effective), which I can respect, but the thing that helps drive the narrative for the original movies is the tension between the victims themselves (1st movie - a couple on the verge of breaking up, 2nd movie - a family dealing with their daughter acting out) The dynamic in this one for me just wasn't as interesting as the others since yeah, they're not married yet which is seen as a problem but ultimately they seem good at where they're at regardless. There's little conflict there to add much to the story itself (the 2nd one's storyline was flimsy, sure, but it was still fun). Honestly, Froy just kinda seems like he's there along for the ride for most of it. He and Madelaine work well enough together but as I said, I wasn't really invested in their relationship. Though they did a decent job selling that last scene between them cuz whoa okay. But I did expect it to end that way but ugh at that mid-credits scene cuz seriously??? LOL. But well, they said this was a trilogy so why be surprised at all. XD So yeah, this was mostly a dud for me quite frankly but I guess I'll watch the next one to see where they go from here since Idk how they're gonna milk two movies out of this but we'll see.

[lacystar]

Hi, c!Karl enjoyer here, you're not wrong tbh! I don't think it was as bad around the Manberg arc, but we barely see him in the general smp anymore. Obviously tftsmp is cc!Karl's main priority, which is fine, but it leaves a lot to be desired on his relationships with other smp characters and makes him feel less rounded out as a result.

We're just left to assume that conversations with his friends happen off-screen a lot which sucks! It would be such an easy fix too because cc!Karl used to do late night dsmp streams often which could have dipped into some casual lore for character building if he wanted.

YEP. YEP YEP YEP.

the big tension around Charles . CHARLES? im keeping that in that's too funny. the big tension around KARL's character is the threat that he's forgetting/losing the people he loves and cares about, but it's not very suspenseful when we don't get to SEE him interact with those people in the first place. him forgetting q was really upsetting because their distance in story made sense. if he forgets Sapnap.... yeah it'll be sad, but we haven't gotten to see a deterioration of their relationship or even really any attempt to show he still cares anyways. the last we saw him interact with Sapnap, who was fearful for their country after dream's escape, karl was just cold. no indication he was even listening Sapnap really out. that's not "forgetting" that's just kinda being a dick to your friend.

agree 100% with ur manberg karl point. he was a dick /pos but by god he was a dick who loved his friends so it worked.

imo he doesn't really... feel... like the main character of tales??? 👀 am I allowed to say that can I say that. I dunno. I don't even know how to describe it really there's just Something Missing.

[pokelec]

A Dead By Daylight Novice Reviews All the Killers' Trailers (and makes suggestions for what they'd change)

Reveal trailers are paramount for an audience's first look at new characters. First impressions are everything, so your trailer for your shiny new character needs to be perfect for what's in store for the video game! I started playing DBD a month-ish ago but watched all the trailers for the killers before I started playing, and watching some of them got me to thinking about how I would have changes some of the trailers. Some require no changes, while others I think need an overhaul.

Disclaimer: This is in my personal opinion, is not objective at all, and I'm only doing this because this is something I've been thinking about for a month and need some sort of release or else my brain will implode.

Under a read more bc this gets long.

The Trapper - The first trailer! For a first trailer, I think this one is pretty spot on. It follows a lot of beats of slasher movies, in terms of following a survivor that's gonna be killed, her encountering dead bodies, and the suspense of the killer looking for her. Considering Dead by Daylight is effectively a playable horror movie, I think this is a perfect intro to the game. As for what this means for the Trapper, aka our Jason substitute, I think it showed him off alright! We saw his bear traps and got a good look at him doing this thing. Pretty good, all things considered!

The Wraith - The Wraith, Hillbilly, and Nurse all features gameplay as the means of showing off what the killers can do. The Wraith's isn't too bad, since it does show off his Wailing Bell power enough for people to understand "This is a killer that can turn invisible, and you may not know he's right next to you until it's too late". I wish it has a more cinematic style, but I'll be forgiving here because DBD was still young when this was made. I also thing it showed the new map, Autohaven, pretty well. I'm not too big of a fan of ending the trailer with his mori, but that could be because I don't find his mori exciting.

The Hillbilly - Next is our Leatherface expy! This one feels shorter, still using gameplay to introduce our new killer but at least shows off his chainsaw wielding and hints at the map associated with him. I like the shot of him revving his chainsaw underneath the tree with the animal carcasses! I don't mind the ending with his mori here because even if it's off screen, getting cut with a chainsaw is brutal enough to leave a lasting impression. Again, I wish it had the cinematic style, but it's fine.

The Nurse - I think the Nurse's trailer is the weakest of the three gameplay-focused trailers. The text intro is... fine, but I honestly think it fits the Doctor more. It does an okay job of showing us her Blinking mechanics, but it also doesn't? Like we see her teleporting to Nea, but it feels lackluster. I do like the ending shot of dead Nea as the Nurse just blinks away. I'm not quite sure how to change this trailer to be more effective in my opinion, if I'm being honest.

The Shape/Michael Myers - Our first franchise killer, and a perfect trailer. The first second in, we hear John Carpenter's legendary Halloween score. Even non-horror fans will quickly pick up which killer this is. The suspense of Laurie see Michael, Michael coming up the stairs, and especially the shot of Laurie and Michael being on opposite sides of a door is *chef's kiss*. We see enough of the Shape to be satisfied and eager for his release. It's the perfect trailer for him AND Laurie imo.

The Huntress - Ah, the Huntress. She is my favorite killer to play as, and I probably have the majority of my playtime on her. Unfortunately, I think her trailer leaves a lot to be desired. It's the start of the 'let's look at the killer from different angles, have them turn around to the camera, and then attack the viewer' trend of DBD trailers. I call for a complete rewrite! Here's what I would have done:

The map is Mother's Dwelling. Two survivors (David aaaand idk Dwight?) are running and hides behind some trees. We hear the Huntress's lullaby get louder, and we see the bottom half of her and her axe as she walks past the survivors. The lullaby gets quieter, and the survivors take a sigh of relief. Then, a hatchet is thrown and lodged into Dwight's head! David screams and runs. We then see our full look at the Huntress as she picks up the body. Her signature lullaby continues as the trailer ends.

The Hag - The Hag's trailer also follows a similar formula to the Huntress' trailer. There is an animation bump, so we get to see the Hag's emaciated appearance in full detail. I'm not too mad about that, since the Hag's appearance is unsettling enough to cause viewer distress and curiosity more than the Huntress' would. However, because this is a DBD original killer, we need to see what her deal is with her trailer. Thus, I propose this:

On the swamp, Ace is repairing a generator but hears another survivor (Dwight?) get hooked. Ace goes to rescue him, but we see as he steps on a rune in front of the poor survivor. The illusion of the Hag pops up, jumpscaring poor Ace (and the audience) but disappears. Ace then rescues Dwight for real, but Dwight quickly runs away. Why? Because the real Hag is behind Ace and lunges at him, biting his neck. Trailer ends.

The Doctor - I now realize that my taste in writing DBD trailers is 'have the survivor do a thing, they think the killer is near, they then relax, and only then are they attacked by the killer'. It's a bit stereotypical, but again, we're dealing with a game centered on the horror genre, so that's why I'm okay with it.

I mention this because that's effectively the story beats the the Doctor's trailer follows. Instead of attacking Feng, however, the Doctor just looks at her run and stares menacingly. Even though we don't see the Doctor's shock therapy powers here, I think the long look at the killer is still effective because of his design. A first reaction I (and other reactors) experienced went from the initial "OMG the killer is here, run girl!" to "Why tf are his own eyes and mouth held open like that A Clockwork Orange scene?!". We also don't linger for too long on him either, so I think this trailer works well enough.

The Cannibal/Leatherface - Another franchise killer, this time good ol Leatherface! This trailer is a little different, using text to draw up suspense. I do like the reveal of "What is his mask made of? YOU.", but I would've loved to have seen some actual Cannibal action, or at least his in-game model doing his Texas chainsaw massacring thing.

The Nightmare/Freddy Kruger - Oh, c'mon, we got one of the most well known characters in horror in this little video game, and all we get for his trailer is some scratch marks and a 'killer does nothing but stand there menacingly and attack the camera' trailer?! I do like the detail that when we see him, it's DBD's version of the dream world, but we could've at least featured a survivor falling asleep and then seeing him for themselves.

(Also kinda sad it's the reboot version of Freddy instead of the Wes Craven version and the survivor is Quentin instead of Nancy Freaking Thompson, but I guess we should be happy he's in the game at all)

The Pig - Largely, I think this trailer is pretty good. I'm not too big of a fan of Amanda just standing there menacingly near Dwight, but I do like everything else. I especially love the security camera shot of the famous Saw bathroom and the cutaway when Dwight's reverse bear trap activates (but we still see a good bit of gore!). It feels very Saw-like.

The Clown - This trailer is pretty good! Even though we don't see the Clown in much action, we get a lot of visual storytelling with the bottles, the circus, and the ring of fingers, all leading up to the reveal of his face. The diagetic music from Kate is a nice touch, too.

The Spirit - This one is alright. There is a lot of focus on Adam, but it does build up tension to when the Spirit reveals herself. My biggest problem with it is the ending card that is used for her. Yes, I know that's traditional for the end of these trailers, but her pose and expression is kinda meh after the face she makes when she's about to attack Adam. Seriously, that couple of seconds haunts me (sorry) otherwise.

The Legion - My other favorite killer to play! It's so funny how I didn't like Legion when I first heard of them but now they're my favorites. I love how the trailer emphasizes that the new killer(s) looks similar to survivors and the brutality of when Frank reveals himself and stabs Jeff. However, the trailer does a disservice to the other members of the Legion. C'mon, that's their whole shtick!

My recommendation would be to end with a shot of Julie, Joey, and Suzie joining Frank (and obviously getting a good look at them) and surrounding Jeff right before they all stab him. This is a little disingenuous since you can't play as all four of them at once (unless you count that one Blighted skin...), but you also can't disguise yourself as a survivor, so... Yeah. They are The Legion! They act as one! Treat them as such in their trailer, dammit!

The Plague - The Plague's trailer is interesting. Even though we don't see her in action, I think it's fine because seeing her puke on people during her trailer might be a bit off-putting. Just a bit. We still get some storytelling with her whispered prayers, the candles and incense thingy, and, of course, her face. I think because the Plague's design is inherently unique among all the killers so far, she can get away with the 'let's just tease the audience by looking at the killer and nothing else' trend.

The Ghost Face - Not too much I can complain about with this one. I do like the wtf factor of 'wait, why is a DBD trailer at a modern day warehouse???', especially if you're watching a trailer playlist like I first did. It all makes sense when you learn it's Ghost Face, though! Also, justice for that poor cashier.

The Demogorgon - RIP Stranger Things DLC. I don't watch this series, but I really like the Hawkins Lab map and I'm going to be sad when it's gone. :(

I love this trailer! When I hear the Stranger Things music, it actually gives me chills. I'm legitimately so sad the DLC will be gone from the stores, but I do own them myself. I need to actually sit down and play Demo, Steve, and Nancy one of these days. Why am I crying? No, I'm not kidding, why is this trailer making me cry? Renew the contract, Netflix, please! I don't want this stuff to disappear forever!

(Is it weird that I've been nagged on for years to watch Stranger Things but it's Dead By Daylight that's actually convincing me to watch it?)

The Oni - This is an interesting case. The "main" theme of this trailer is the contrast of modern day Japan's Yui and her motorcycle vs the literal ancient samurai Oni. I think it works out, and again, I think the presentation makes up for us not seeing too much of the new killer.

The Deathslinger - Oh boy, do I love my cowboys! This trailer is nearly perfect. We establish the western setting quickly over the sounds of some poor bastard in pain. The reeling in of the chains and the closeup of The Redeemer is so great. My biggest complaint with this trailer is that we linger a bit too long on the Deathslinger's face at the end. Yeah, he's creepy with his eyes and his disjointed jaw, but you can only look at a horror for so long before you want to move on.

The Executioner/Pyramid Head - I like this trailer! I haven't played Silent Hills, but I'm at least somewhat familiar with the premise and Pyramid Head. I love the shot of him passing the classroom door window and the sword cutting a rift through the ground. Yeah, my lack of SH knowledge makes me unable to recommend any changes here.

The Blight - I have no changes to suggest. The Blight's transformation is super horrific, reminding me of the typical depiction of Jekyll and Hyde. Honestly, he is so much more terrifying in his trailer and in lore than in gameplay.

The Twins - No changes needed. BHVR is really starting to hit their stride with these trailers! Seeing Victor come out of Charlotte's body is amazing.

The Trickster - We depart from all of the other trailers by using an K-POP music video style. It does a good job at referencing some of his story beats (namely torturing/killing people, recording their screams, and using them in his music), but it doesn't really make me afraid of the Trickster. Sure, it fits with his theme, but I would have preferred seeing more of him, y'know, instead of just looking pretty and making faces? I still wouldn't change the art style of the trailer, though. It's fitting enough for him and a breath of fresh air from the doom and gloom.

The Nemesis - No change needed, mostly because I'm not too familiar with the Resident Evil series, but seeing Jill, the twink Leon, and Nemesis on-screen is a very cool moment. Also can we get an F in chat for Meg?

The Cenobite/Pinhead - This is a perfect trailer. We got the Lament Configuration, we got the chains pinning up Dwight, we got Pinhead himself! What more can I ask for?

If you actually made it this far, thank for reading? I don't think I really contribute anything to the fandom with this analysis, but DBD has been living rent free in my brain for the past month, so I may as well write something, eh?

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

[icharchivist]

hello icha!! i finally got around to finishing the stranger haha,, by which i mean i just watched it today. was veryyyy excited for it as i really like the poster design for this one. anyways. this event starting w/ the sort of portrait format or whatever / that narration is like. god. threw me right back to autumn troupe. I kind of love that the storytelling format itself is so distinct for autumn! the moment I realized it was omi I started getting teary… like oh man oh man… omi…. And the connection with him taking photos! ahh!! now that I think about it… omi kind of seems a bit like early version tsumugi, huh? also I keep forgetting this man is a college student lol. suspension of disbelief I suppose. onto the play i think like. mankai should invest in a fainting courch for tsuzuru. i also went to watch the play and 1) im betting yuki had a hell of a time costume design wise like the vines on the body? such fun costuming wise and 2) the ethical implications of whatever this play has,,, fun fun. tsuzuru was clearly having some kind of thoughts. i love zeros design and am always up for a3 characters crossdressing bc 1) i think its fun and 2) the costume design. i also dearly wish this whole thing was animated bc I feel like it’d be o fun to see taichi act as zero. or at least I hope this event gets full voiced one day... moving on to the scene where omi adds soy sauce to the paella I know it’s just like haha homare funny so lets five him a lil bit but like everyone in autumn troupe making their comments on the paella and like homare just jumping in. homare autumn troupe besties. just thinking. also the way they just r like. no no no omi it’s fine if u made a mistake!! it’s ok! we like it (you) anyways <3 it’s got it’s own special taste. something something omi’s perfectly pleasant as he is now but even if he weren’t on his a-game and was dealing with all of the biker gang stuff they would love him just as hard. another thing that got me was omi telling banri that he’ll give him something sweet so juza will stop grinding his teeth in his sleep… guys… guys you’ll give him cavities…. mb omi is a college student after all lol.

anyways when i saw the actual costumes. appreciative of them, i like the lil circuit-esque detailing on banri’s outfit, and that sakyo and taichi (nine and zero) both share that like collar detail? its very symbolic and probably also literal but its a nice way to sort of signify their relation to each other visually! also sakyo just looks nice. seeing him without glasses is so great. whoever thought up the like two mole detail for him was doing gods work.

something that confused me was ryo mistaking juza for nachi for a split second? like. does juza… look similar to nachi? or was it just that ryo only heard juzas voice and made that mistake. if it’s appearance wise too. kumon nachi confirmed. I’m joking lol bc I feel like I would’ve heard at least something abt it in one of the like small conversation comments, plus that doesnt seem like itd fit summer troupes style and kumon is for sure the wrong age… but still.

i really like how for this event, the roles for taichi and omi were kinda reversed. and taichis just so like. idk. smiley. rly lifts ur spirits. its kind of nice how this event contrasts to that cg where taichi is crying on omi. I also think like. idk. considering the story of the stranger. wolf gives zero a sense of purpose and life and I think that zero helps wolf lose his apathy. it’s about “the stranger” and the ending makes him like… not a stranger, right? because he’s got a companion. in the same way, taichi brings omi out of his emotional isolation. the picture taking! also the stickers coming back… thats such a good setup! the found family of it all!!

when he was trying to work out zeros character as soon as taichi mentioned a sharp speaking style I KNEW it was Yuki… yuki would never be as honest as zero is though lol… to me i imagine she’s got a sort of juza internal monologue feel? anyways. the taichi yuki dynamic intrigues me. havent yet decided how I feel abt it but when I do… yes. sorry that I make literally no sense. I think it’s very obvious that yuki is my fav chara kind of? I’m just. hmmm it makes me think! I’ve been monologuing to myself abt the yuki and juza dynamic lately which, to my a3 knowledge so far, doesn’t exist, but its ok bc I’ll make it exist! uhhh anyways this event was very good i liked the pacing. i think it didnt drag too hard and it really properly honed in on just omi and taichi, which was quite nice. they really did a lot for just an event!

time to listen to the event song,,, ok so. ah. i rly enjoyed just for myself it was very much to my taste so. out of curiousity i was like ok lemme look up the composer / producer AND IT WAS YUYOYUPPE....... that guy is like!!!! one of my FAV producers ever!!!!!! i know him from like. his vocaloid days and god leia is still one of my fav songs to this day...! this knowledge gives me so much joy omg!!! like wow!! wowwww!!! like i knew yuyoyuppe was out there doing other stuff (i know he worked on a lot of babymetal music which is cool) but like idk. to suddenly encounter it like this. heheh.... its so nice! made me soooo happy. going to relisten to leia now haha

WAIT ONE MORE THING. i was like "haha let me look at other songs i remember liking a lot" which. for me was rakuen oasis and don't cry. anyways. rakuen oasis is ALSO by yuyoyuppe???? oh my god!!! oh my god... sigh. feel like im in heaven.

OH HI FRIEND!! so good to see you with an a3 update!! :D

godd yeah The Stranger started so strongly and the idea to still incorporate portraits in his story was really something to make us cry!

And linking Omi and Tsumugi like this is pretty interesting :O <hat is your reasoning exactly? :O

For the fainting couch for Tsuzuru LMAO and i'm letting you know there's a webcomics that addresses it in Act 2 (hough there's no spoilers aside from the fact Chikage is here)

Im glad you liked the costume and the play!!! yeah i love the designs and it is always a blast to see them this into it, and yeaaah Tsuzuru has thoughts huh. It'll get voiced sooner than later hopefully and there we'll see more in details :3c but also that's what made the seiyuu live so fun bc they perform the songs in play cosplay and replay a bit of the play everytime and it's *chief kiss*

HOMARE AUTUMN TROUPE SOLIDARITY YES. LOVING IT.

And yeah the scene itself was so cute TwT they all want to reassure Omi and be there for him it's so sweet :( but yeah i love how you say it all, Omiimi TwT

and dLKFJDFLKJFDFD Giving Juza cavities is the price to pay for sleep i guess??

yeah agreed on the costume they all look so cool! and nice catch on how those three seem linked like that with their costumes, Yuki (and the designers) does such a good job! and god yeah for Sakyo.. yeah. He has sucha good design dLKJFDF

aND DLKFJD yeah no Juza is supposed to look like Nachi physically, but mostly his face? like i think Nachi was had green hair? we see a sprite of him in a future story, and yeah, everything is in the eyebrows. so Kumon should be safe? Omi mentions he sees a lot of Nachi in Juza, and while it is mostly due to their passions i think, the fact they're also rough looking guy with a heart of gold must play a part as well. but yeah, he does look like Nachi a bit.

and i love your deeper analysis of the event yeah!!

I feel like Taichi is really an emotional core of the troupe in the sense that is, he tends to catch on what others are feelings easily. And he uses it in the early chapters to ease off the tensions and stuff, but he was being held back by knowing he was deceiving them. So now that he's more free, he can be more of himself. but yeah i also love the contrast with how Omi was the one to help Taichi through his breakdown and guilt, and now it's the other way around, it's Taichi helping him through it. and the parallelism between the play and their dynamic is spot on imo! well said!!

and god yeah the sticker things made me cry sO HARD, and the pictures! and everything!! sobs it's such a sweet found family i'm going to cry :(

And! i love what you say about Yuki, Taichi and Juza on this one. I love that Taichi keeps bringing it back to "that childhood friend" and it's always like. so obvious who it is for us rip. But it can make you wonder if Yuki was more honest as a kiddo when Taichi knew him, though now he's clearly not. I love the mention of how Zero is more like Juza's internal speech (which, if anything is another argument about why you should let Juza wear a dress, cOWARD)

but also your mention of the Yuki and Juza thing, while i can't think of them having a dynamic per se yet, but i actually wrote a post during my reread about how i was baffled at the fact they treated Muku the same way?? like both of them tried to push Muku away because they were scared of how people would react if they say pure, sweet Muku was associated to them. And i find it fascinating because i guess those two are pretty aware of how the world see them, and it used to stop them from fully allowing them to be themselves.

I also find it relevant with the fact Yuki says in his personal song that while all of this way people judge him weight on him, he rather be himself, and "I want to love myself". Meanwhile we have Juza who's also aware of the way people judge him and it weight on him, and he wants to change himself from this person he hates, this self loathing - and in a way, he can grow in a way to be "someone" he may not hate, even on stage. I feel like those two have quite a bit in common in this way of being rejected by their peers in some sort of way.

I really want them to share some stuff at some point because there's really a groundwork on it all :(

But i'm really glad you liked that event!! agreed on the pacing and i do love what it brings to the characters! it really fleshes them out and have them move forward a little and it's pretty sweet.

AND OMG THAT'S SO COOL FOR THE SONG!! i'm so glad you liked it, but that's incredible it turned out to be from one of your fav producer!!! ahah sometimes life is like that where you end up finding the stuff you loved back into new stuff! and the fact Rakuen Oasis was from him as well... that's so cool!!! just, so so cool!

im pretty sure he has more songs going forward so i hope you'll enjoy the ride even more!!

thank you once again for sharing your thoughts about a3 :3c it always makes me so happy to see them!!!

Thank youu <3 have a good day :3c

[raindduks]

trio trouble

p a i r i n g :: shinwon x reader (kinda)

g e n r e :: angst, werewolf! au, suspense

w a r n i n g s :: major character death, alcohol, syringes,

s u m m a r y :: The moon shines brightly in the night sky, all but a sliver illuminating your path as you make your way through the brush. Briars constantly poke and rip at your stockings, a chilly breeze worming its way under your sweater and behind your ears. The air is crisp, tinged with the smell of dead leaves and foliage. Normally, you would be all about this.

Normally you aren’t running for your life. 

w o r d  c o u n t :: 4642

a / n :: cross posted on ao3, please check it out there as well! i have the same url on both!

The moon shines brightly in the night sky, all but a sliver illuminating your path as you make your way through the brush. Briars constantly poke and rip at your stockings, a chilly breeze worming its way under your sweater and behind your ears. The air is crisp, tinged with the smell of dead leaves and foliage. Normally, you would be all about this. 

Normally you aren’t running for your life.

The night didn’t start like this, in fact your friends had decided the best thing to do this Halloween would be to venture out to the abandoned mill on the outskirts of town and drink until the sun rose or you keeled over - whichever came first. You walked towards the mill, dressed head to toe in autumn colors and a themed sweater because it was cold outside and you were not about to freeze to death on Halloween. You carried a twelve pack of ale, happily moving towards your destination. You noticed that the others arrived before you, and a cheer went up as you approached.

Wooseok, already a little tipsy, shouted when he saw you approach - “YEAH! MORE BOOZE LETS GET IT!!” - and swiftly disarmed you of your goods, raising them above his head as he marched towards the stash of various beverages off to the side. Yuto and Hui looked up from where they were stationed by the fire, waving at you before returning to their conversation. Shinwon and Hongseok were watching a furious debate between Changgu and Jinho about something the younger had said about the older's “costume for the evening,” which was just Jinho in a beanie. Apparently, Changgu thought he had dressed up as a 7-year-old for the occasion. Hyunggu was passing around a bowl of candy, grinning all the while. Yanan stared into the bonfire, watching his marshmallows go up in just the right amount of flames. You grinned.  

The hours flew by in a haze of smores, sweets and - of course - shots. Hongseok and Jinho told scary stories around the fire with Yuto cowering behind Wooseok and Yanan. Each story was more ridiculous than the last, but that didn’t seem to matter to Yuto - if it’s remotely scary, it’s enough to send him running. You felt a pleasant buzz settle in just under your skin, negating the chill that had crept into the air. You shifted closer to Shinwon, the pair of you content to watch the show. As it got closer to midnight, you heard the man sitting next to you pipe up, 

“Why don’t we play a game of Truth or Dare?”

The group, a happy level of tipsy, agreed. Dares ranged from eating rum-soaked marshmallows and trying to jump the fire, with truths being anything from childhood memories to dirty little secrets. Wooseok turned to Hyunggu, “Alright, truth or dare?”

Hyunggu smiles, “Dare.”

Wooseok’s mouth crooked upwards, “I dare you to go into the basement.”

The color drained from Hyunggu’s face as the group egged him on. 

“I’ll even go with you. Gotta make sure you don’t chicken out,” Wooseok offered.

Yuto looked frantically between Wooseok and Hyunggu before quickly interjecting - “Me too!! I’ll go with them, too..” You’re pretty sure he didn’t want to be left at the mercy of Jinho and Hongseok who would try to scare him even more than he already was. 

You watched the trio disappear into the dark stairwell at the far end of the floor, shadows having long since enveloped their features. The conversation continued on. Minutes passed with no sign of the trio. Everything was fine, if not a little tense as you waited for your companions to return, until a blood curdling scream echoed through the mill. Everyone froze, looking at each other for answers. Hui was the first to stand, loudly proclaiming he was going to go down to check on them. One by one the group followed. 

The stairs creaked on the way down, but you could barely hear them over sounds of bones grinding on each other, low groans and broken screams growing ever louder the further down you went. Tension settled in the air and you felt yourself unintentionally creeping closer and closer to Shinwon. You clutched at the back of his shirt, desperate to ground yourself. He turned back to face you, and a small smile crossed his face. You felt some of your unease slip away into the darkness. 

You stepped into a large room at the bottom of the stairwell, eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. Once they did, you had to physically hold back your scream. The walls were bare concrete, lined with dusty boxes and peeling labels. Most strikingly, the room had a large upright operating table in the middle, complete with lights, stainless trays lined with various medical tools and a plethora of leather restraints. Upon one of these trays was a set of three syringes, two of which were already emptied. 

The third was currently being injected into a screaming and thrashing Hyunggu. 

Two hooded figures stood on either side of him, one forcing him back against the table as the other plunged the needle into your friend's neck. You locked eyes with him, paralyzed by his fear. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Hongseok move towards the table with a loud shout. The hooded figures turned his way, dropping everything they held before they sprinted out of a door on the opposite side of the room. Hongseok started to chase after them, with Changgu and Hui not far behind. Shinwon rushed to Hyunggu’s side, desperately trying to keep him cognizant while Yanan worked to undo the straps holding him to the table.

A growl echoed through the space, stopping everyone in their tracks. 

Out of the darkness stepped a large blond wolf with piercing amber eyes. He towered over Hongseok, staring down the man who looked poised to bolt. The wolf seemed neutral, content to stare down the man in front of it. The tense peace was shattered by Hyunggu’s groans, and the wolf turned his attention away from Hongseok to Shinwon who was cradling Hyunggu’s pale and flushed body. He moved towards them, but Hongseok quickly put himself in the wolf’s way once more. 

This did not make the wolf particularly happy. 

Suddenly, there was a dull thud echoing in the room as Hongseok collided with the boxes against the wall. He fell limp to the floor, and Hui rushed over to his side. You could see the faint rise and fall of his chest, which gave you a modicum of peace knowing he was still alive. During all the commotion, another wolf had stepped out of the shadows, growling lowly in his throat. This wolf was raven black, his fur taking on a navy sheen under the lights. The black wolf approached your side of the group, stalking towards you. You backed up until you hit the wall, breath shaky. Yanan stood next to you, looking frantically at the rapidly unraveling situation. Soon, a figure blocked your view. 

Jinho stood in between you and the wolf, eyes hard and resolved as he turned his head just enough to speak back to you.

“Get out of here.”     You were frozen in place, eyes locked with the beast. You couldn’t seem to move no matter how much your brain screamed at you to high tail it out of there. Luckily, Yanan did not need to be told twice. He forcefully grabbed your arm before dragging you back up the stairs. You stumbled over a few of the steps, legs still stiff from fear. You weren’t sure where you were going to go, or what was going to happen to you friends but you knew you needed to leave. You emerged onto the dusty main floor of the mill, constantly checking behind you as if you could see anything in the thick darkness. Barely there streams of moonlight filtered in through the windows, casting small pockets of light onto the floor. The fire the group created earlier had died down considerably, making the room seem impossibly dark. Yanan was unbothered by the lack of visibility, as he made a beeline for the exit, your hand securely wrapped in his.

“Come on, we’re almost outside,” His words are almost lost on you. 

 A sickening crunch echoed through the mill, and you felt bile rise up in your throat. You knew that couldn’t be anything good. Your mind raced through all the possibilities, and you could hardly keep your feet under you. You wanted to just collapse and cry, adrenaline exhausted and the cold worming its way in under your skin. How would you even get back? And what happens when you do? The wolves could probably track you wherever you went, and it’s not like the authorities are going to believe you. Who would? What would you even say? That two of your friends are missing, one of them was injected by two complete strangers hanging out in the basement of the old mill - oh, and the perpetrators ran away but before you could pursue you were stopped by two massive wolves? Anyone would think you’d lost it. 

Though something seemed…. strangely…. human about those wolves… 

You wrenched yourself out of Yanan’s grip at the exit, breathing heavily. He turned around, sorbet pink hair catching the moonlight and making him look almost ethereal. His expression was a mixture of confusion and exasperation. 

“What are you doing? We have to go!”

You shook your head frantically.

“We have to go back for them! Wooseok, Yuto, Kino… I think they’re-”

Before you could finish your sentence a growl sounded from behind you. You whip around, facing the decrepit building. A lithe white wolf, much smaller than the other two, padded through the doorway. His eyes are a bright blue, a complement to the deep crimson dripping from his maw. You instinctively started backing away as the wolf approached, hand outstretched behind you desperately searching for your companion. A bruised and bloodied Hui appeared in the doorway behind the wolf, making eye contact with you. His face twisted into one of surprise and then frustration. 

“What are you still doing here? Get to the car!”

The white wolf whipped around to face the new arrival, suddenly able to choose between meals. This time you don’t need Yanan to take your hand in order to start running towards the street where you all had parked. The two of you took off and Hui disappeared back into the darkness of the mill. You felt a rush of relief as you saw the cars come into view. Then, you felt your heart drop as you remembered that you left your purse and keys inside by the fire. You cursed under your breath. You could only hope that Yanan had driven here and still had his. 

It didn’t matter anyways as a large shadow burst out of the brush, cutting off your path. The two of you skidded to a halt as you came face to face with the large black wolf for the second time that night. The wolf paused for only a second before charging at you. You ran into the woods on instinct.

The moon sits high in the sky now, and your legs ache at the continued strain. Your outfit isn’t the best suited for running through the woods, and you weren’t exactly ready to run a marathon at the start of the night. You have no clue where you’re going or what will be around the corner, but you know you need to get back to safety somehow. 

If there even was any safety to be found from three massive wolves. 

You’re ready to collapse when you stumble over a large tree root, scraping yourself up even further as you hit the leaf-covered ground. A groan sounds from behind you, and you scramble to your knees in search of the source.

You strain your eyes to see a mess of wavy brown hair and broad shoulders leaning up against the side of a tree. You gasp, moving over to get a better look at Shinwon. He opens one eye, and his pain twisted face immediately softens into something more sweet. A gentle smile adorns his face as he looks so warmly at you as you panic in front of him, hands flitting around him as you check him for injuries. His previously cream sweater is torn and deep crimson marks adorn his chest and right arm, and his face is almost unrecognizable under all the dried blood. You move your gaze down further and freeze.

Your knees sit in a growing pool of blood, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that the mangled mess that was - is - his right leg is the source. Shinwon doesn’t take his gaze from you, instead opting to cup your face with his hand. You feel tears escaping from your eyes, mingling with the dirt and grime that had built up there. You let a sob escape you as you feel his thumb softly swipe across your cheek, his eyes just as gentle as they always are. You don’t need words to know what he’s feeling. You never have.

You shake your head once, maybe twice before turning into his hand, holding it in place and trying to memorize the feel. You choke out, “We - We n-need to- hic - to get out of here, I can, I can, I-”

Shinwon shakes his head and cuts you off. “They’ve already got their eyes set on me, and you’re not in any position to carry me out of here. Hongseok maybe,” His smile brightens as he forces a huff of laughter out of you. You can’t help it around him. He’s always able to lighten the mood, even in a time like this. He reaches into his pocket with his free hand and places a set of keys in your hands, carefully folding your fingers around the warm metal. You shake your head again, muttering a string of noes, as if the gravity of the situation finally hit you. Tears ran down in droves, obscuring your already limited vision. This can’t be happening. You’re going to get him out of here. You’ll find your friends and get them to come back and grab him, get him help. He’ll be fine, if maybe missing a leg. He’ll be alive. You can, you can, you can..

You can’t. 

You’re not strong enough to carry Shinwon out of the woods on your own on your best day, and certainly not after all you’ve been through. Hell, you aren’t even sure where you are right now. A sob rips itself from your throat, and then another. You bring both of your hands up to wrap around the one still against your cheek. Sobs wrack through your tired frame and you can vaguely hear him gently shushing you. You stay for a moment like that, memorizing the feel of his hand, his warmth, the gentle tone of his voice. Deep down you feel something break inside you and this moment flooding in to fill the cracks. A thin line of gold to repair something incredibly broken. You shift, touching your head to his shoulder instead, hand still held between yours. You take a few deep breaths. 

“Shinwon, I can’t just leave you here.” You lean back just enough to look him in the eyes and you catch a faint smile on his face. 

“You have to.” 

His eyes convey everything in that moment - love and acceptance and peace. That look tattoos itself onto the back of your brain, and you instinctively shake your head again. It feels hollow somehow. An empty protest. 

“No, I’ll bring Hongseok back and everyone else. We’ll get you out of here, I promise. Just keep yourself safe okay?”

He relents, the odd softness in his eyes more prominent now. “Okay.” Pause. “Okay. I’ll wait here. Take my keys; you’ll need to get to town somehow and it’s not like I can use them. You know which one is my car right? The red hatchback?”

You nod, grip tightening around the keys he gifted you earlier. “Yes, it has those stupid dice hanging from the rearview mirror.”

He huffs out a laugh. You cherish every second of it. “That’s the one. And they’re not stupid - they’re cool.” 

“Whatever you say.” 

He closes his eyes and leans back against the tree trunk, once more absorbed by the shadows and foliage. He sighs in either relief or acceptance - you couldn’t quite tell - the smile on his face relaxing for just a moment. Shinwon rolls his head to face you as his eyes struggle to reopen. 

The normal teasing quality to his voice is absent as he formulates his next words. 

“Take care, Y/N. I’ll… I’ll see you soon.” 

Your throat closes up and you can only nod. He removes his hand from yours, nothing more than a gentle tug that tells you to release him. He closes his eyes once more, his breaths coming slow and steady. You stand and you can feel the pins and needles coming in to make their home in your legs from kneeling for so long. The adrenaline has mostly worn off by now, and exhaustion takes its place as you try to force yourself to leave. You don’t want to. You feel every part of your soul telling you to figure something out. That this can’t be the end, that you can do it somehow. But the better part of yourself knows this is the only option. 

Good night, Shinwon. I’ll be back soon. I - There will be time later, I promise. I promise. 

You can’t bring yourself to say it, but you hope he knows. Knows all the words you’ve left unsaid, even now.  

It takes everything you have to turn away from him.

You don’t know how long it takes you to get out of the woods, but the moon is well into its journey by the time you emerge. Somehow you’ve managed to circle back around to the road leading towards the mill, albeit quite some distance away from where you started. A howl rips through the night air and you freeze in your tracks. Two more fire off in quick succession, and you relax. They appear to be from far off, so you can continue on your way for now. 

A pair of sweet brown eyes crosses your mind.

You don’t want to think about what they may be howling about. 

It is not lost on you, as you traverse the dimly lit road, that you are quite literally headed into the den of the beast. You could always turn around and try your luck walking home. Though, you’re not sure that you’ll ever be safe knowing what lives in the woods just outside of town. No, the car is your best bet. At least then you’d stand a chance of outrunning the damn things or hitting them hard enough to make a getaway. You grip the keys like a lifeline - hard enough to cut into your palm. You suppose they are a lifeline in a way. 

You don’t think much longer as two figures burst through the treeline into the light a distance away. One is holding the other up, an arm wrapped around the other’s midsection as they move forward in a sort of disjointed lockstep. Your body instinctively tenses, ready to bolt at the first sign of danger. One turns back to face you and you almost drop to your knees in relief. Changgu seems to be in a similar state. You pocket the keys as you hurry over to where they are, immediately placing your other arm under Changgu’s. You move Hongseok’s arm over your shoulders as gently as possible, trying to encourage him to lean into you as best he can. Sweat moistens his skin and through the rips in his shirt you see blackish purple bruises blooming across his torso. 

Hongseok struggles to open his eyes, but when he catches sight of you his lips twitch in a ghost of a smile. Your eyes flit over to Changgu, searching for something you’re not quite so sure you want to see. He shakes his head. Hongseok is injured - that much is certain - but it doesn’t appear to be life threatening as of now. He should get to a hospital soon; he must be exhausted from running so long. Changgu also looks worse for wear, with a thin sheen of sweat covering his skin. You don’t know how long he’s been half-carrying the larger man, but it can’t be too long or else he would be much more winded. Or not. Changgu is a lot stronger than you give him credit for. You could call him the strongest in the group if not for the man currently hanging between you. The three of you continue on your journey - silent for the most part. Neither of you wants to be the first to speak, to break the subtle understanding hanging in the air. You’ve seen some shit, and right now you just want to get out of this mess alive. 

Four or five street lights down, a small - distinctly human - figure stumbles out of the brush. Jinho notices you before you have a chance to call out to him. He runs over, taking his place next to you.

“I can take him for a bit if either of you get tired.” 

All you can muster is a curt nod of acknowledgement, and even then you stumble a little. Changgu forces you to stop, waiting for you to catch your breath.

“You should take a break.” You try to protest but Jinho inserts himself in your place, shouldering the weight of Hongseok with a grunt. Hongseok winces a bit as he shifts, his body a bit more lopsided due to the change in height. Jinho locks eyes with Changgu, nodding before continuing forward. You walk behind the trio, doing your best to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. By the time you make it back to the mill, it’s nearly sunrise. The sky is darker than black, and the stars seem to taunt you with their mirthful twinkling. You’ve rotated out carrying duty for Changgu, and your pace is significantly slower without him. Hongseok didn’t notice. 

As you approach the line of parked cars, you notice movement behind a black sedan. Hushed whispers float on the wind, 

“We have…… “

“Can’t leave yet…… “

“ No choice… car… ”

“ … OW!”

Changgu seems to recognize the welp, and calls out, 

“Yanan? Hui? Are you there?”

You watch Hui pop up from his hiding spot, eyes wide with relief as he spots the familiar faces. He rushes over to you, navy blue hair almost glimmering in the low light. Yanan approaches with him, quickly rotating out with Jinho for carrying Hongseok the rest of the way to the car, where you gently prop him against the side. Hongseok winces slightly as the cold metal hits his back, but his eyes don’t open. He needs to get to a hospital, and fast. Yanan slouches next to him, leaning his head against the door. You notice the deep crimson that stains the right side of his head and the collar of his sweatshirt. Yanan glances over at you and offers a smile. 

“I’m alright, don’t worry! It’s not as bad as it looks.”

You give him a look of disbelief, but don’t press the issue further. He is well enough to help carry a man twice his size, so that has to count for something. You turn your attention to the three men huddled nearby, 

    “What do you think they’re talking about?” 

    Yanan follows your gaze to the group and shrugs. “I don’t know, probably how to get out of here.”

    Your blood runs cold. “What do you mean?”     Yanan looks confused, “We have to leave? Did you forget there are three crazed wolves chasing after us?”

    “But they’re---I mean we can’t---They---” You struggle to find the right words. You aren’t sure your friends have put the pieces together yet, or if they’re simply more focused on survival at the moment. You deflate, your voice barely higher than a whisper, “But what if they’re our friends?”

    Yanan’s face softens and he affectionately pats your head. “They would want us to be safe.” 

He’s right.

    The trio come back over to the car. Hui speaks first. 

    “Okay, all of our stuff is still inside the mill, so if we want a chance at getting out of here we need to go back in there. But, we don’t know where Shinwon is and we don’t want to strand him here. No one’s seen him since we split up, and we don’t have time to wait -”

    You vaguely hear Jinho interrupt him and the pair start to argue back and forth, but you can’t really focus on the scene at hand when another swims across your vision. The memory of a hand pressing a pair of keys into your palm hits you so hard it nearly knocks you over. It’s been a few hours at best since you left Shinwon, but it felt a lifetime away. His final words block out the world around you, begging you to leave. Pleading for you to go on without him, no matter how hard it was. Without thinking, you fish the keys out of your pocket and hold them as carefully as you can in the palm of your hand. 

    You don’t notice it, but suddenly everyone is quiet. Their attention is focused solely on you. You gear yourself up to speak a few times, but each time the words die on your lips as helplessness takes over. Changgu is gentle when he catches hold of your wrist and asks,

    “Y/N, those are Shinwon’s keys, aren’t they?”

    You snap out of your reverie just enough to look into his eyes. The softness present there makes you choke back a sob - they really look so similar to his - brokenly nodding at him. Your mouth forms around the words you fail to say once more, until your tongue catches two:

    “I couldn’t..”

    Suddenly the eyes focused on your shift downwards, and Changgu nods. He takes the keys from you, face set in a determined line. 

    “We have to leave. Now.”

    No one tries to argue with him. In fact, they all exchange a glance and rise to their feet, wordlessly going about the motions. Jinho comes over to comfort your shellshocked frame. Yanan and Changgu work to lift the still breathing Hongseok to his feet. Hui takes the keys from Changgu and goes to find Shinwon’s car. You barely notice any of it. You’d been comforted by the idea that you could possibly go back, that Shinwon isn’t lost to you - not yet - and that there was still time. You deluded yourself into thinking that you weren’t the last person he would ever see, and that you would be able to get Hongseok, or Changgu, or anyone to help you bring him back. The rush of finding your friends was enough to push the thoughts of his gentle and desperate eyes to the sidelines, but not enough to completely erase them. 

    You were grateful as Jinho helped you to your feet and ushered you into the backseat of the red hatchback - “You know which one is my car right?” Of course I do, do you know how my heart soars every time I see that rust bucket? - sandwiched between Yanan and himself. Changgu squeezes into the trunk space since Hongseok occupies the front seat. Hui climbs in last, taking a moment to situate himself before looking in the rear-view mirror at you. 

    “Let’s get out of here.”

[ellaofoakhill]

My Thoughts on Stakes...

I’m thinking this’ll probably be shorter than my usual posts on writing and storytelling, but we’ll see. Anyway, this is just my personal take on stakes.

Which is that *drum roll* you don’t actually need stakes to tell a story that people will read. Crazy, right? But I mean, the slice-of-life genre exists for a reason. Is it an outrageously popular genre? Maybe not, at least not in the West; Japan has s-o-l and a related genre, iyashikei (I’ve previously reblogged a definition of the latter if you’re interested), and both are more popular over there. Why? I dunno, but I suspect there’s less of a stigma against escapism in Eastern cultures; Miyazaki talks about the concept of ma in an interview, and how he works that space for breath into his movies, and it makes me think that there’s a relation between the two. I could talk about how Western culture, from our schedules to our media, encourage a constant state of doing without stopping to rest and simply be, but that’s a subject in and of itself, and I’m already off-topic.

The purpose of stakes is to introduce tension to your story, or to escalate tension. Your character(s) want x, or want to prevent x from happening; the greater the impact of not getting or preventing x on your characters, the higher your stakes. And the higher your stakes, the more invested your audience will be, so the logic goes.

Popular media of a more adventurous persuasion often takes this very literally, and puts the entire world/galaxy/universe in jeopardy, because what will affect your characters more than the entire world blowing up, amiright?

...

... No, actually, you’re not.

Red from Overly Sarcastic Productions (yes, I know, I reference her a lot, her stuff is just SO GOOD you should watch it) has a video on Youtube talking about the end of the world, and if I may summarize/paraphrase her, stakes don’t work like that; chances are, few things will affect your characters more than the blowing up of their personal, subjective world. In Andy Weir’s Artemis (spoilers ahead), the highest stakes throughout the book are whether or not the protagonist can save the inhabitant’s of humanity’s first lunar colony, comprising at most a few thousand people. According to the above logic, that should be a “Yeah, sure, kinda interesting”, but it was pretty suspenseful because the lives of people we knew and liked were at stake, not the whole world.

Humanity is growing more interconnected than ever before, but most of us have a few hundred people whom we perceive as having impact on our lives; everyone else is mostly treated with indifference. Not because we’re a cold, apathetic species, but our conscious minds aren’t capable of making deep emotional connections beyond that point.

Another part of this is that the audience is taking something of a gamble with every story they pick up. Does it end happily, or sadly? Marriage or death? And while there is certainly some satisfaction derived from a well-written tragedy, that’s really hard to pull off when the story’s entire world is destroyed and stays destroyed, to the point that I can think of precisely one example that did make it work: The Cabin in the Woods (and there are a few asterisks there, like it being a horror movie). So unless you can pull off one of the most difficult tasks any writer has ever attempted, you probably won’t write the end of the world, or even the end of your characters’ world, though that’s a more realistic goal. Remember that gamble the audience is taking? If you put forward the End of the World in a full-length novel (short-stories have more leeway because the audience investment is usually in the low tens of pages, and not in the mid to high hundreds), the odds of you writing it and satisfying your audience are so astronomically tiny that most authors aren’t going to actually write it. So the audience bets that your protagonists will prevail in preventing it. And they’re almost certainly right.

Let’s say you pick up a book, regardless of genre, set in a small town. There are good people, and decent people, and a few creeps. Most of the book takes place in this small town, and the author really writes characters well, to the point that there are a few characters you adore despite deep, nuanced faults, and some you hate with a fiery passion, even if they have redeeming qualities. This small town feels real to you, and while the story alludes to a wider world, grounds itself in this wider world, the meat of the story is here, wherever here is. We grow with our characters along this journey, and love this beautiful tapestry the author’s woven for us.

And then we find out that one character we love is going to die.

The world will keep on turning. This town will keep on living. In that literal, objective sense, the stakes are pretty low. But this light that’s kept us reading for five, six, seven hundred pages, will soon be snuffed out. And if the author has written this story half so well as I’ve described, the ending could be good even if, or perhaps because this character dies. In short, this character’s death is a very realistic outcome.

I’d bet the farm you’re more invested in this one character than in any number of worlds. In fact, a lot of those stories know the audience knows the EotW won’t happen, and so the suspense and shock, and plot twisting, if they’re written well, comes from which of our beloved characters will die.

And they don’t even have to die, really; even a protagonist not getting what they want can devastate your audience.

I once heard (and I wish I could remember the source of this) that in poetry, anyone can write of grand and noble ideas and objects, and sound wise, even profound, but it takes a true master of the art to appreciate and bring forth profundity in the mundane, the small, the innocuous. I think the same can be said of fiction; not that we all need to write literary fiction (good luck prising the dragons from my cold dead hands), but that maybe rather than writing grand sweeping vistas and great armies, we could write all the little happenings in a single tree. Travelling the length and breadth of an entire fantasy world can be a fun time, don’t get me wrong (Paolini was one of my favourite authors growing up), but if writing grand adventures ever gets stale for you... maybe try writing about that tree. Its breadth might not impress, but them roots might grow deeper than you ever imagined.

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 12 - "can't lose you"

Season 11, episode 18 "A beautiful disaster". This is straight up how I would've preferred the episode to go

I have to say some things! 1) This one was litterally the last good and easy idea I had, it's gonna be a while before I can find some more Moreid inspiration since now I'm at season 12...(and you know what that means *crying in the club*) 2) I kinda didn't wanna spoil anything until you actually READ it (like I want there to be "plot twists" and stuff), though if you have a good memory you've already spoiled it for yourself lmao

y'all I edited this at least 3 times over the past months and it still...kinda...sucks. Please keep your expectations meek *curls into a ball*

Read it on AO3

-------------

Derek furiously stormed out of Hotch's office, slamming the door behind him.

"Morgan!" he heard Aaron's voice calling his name from inside, mad that he had interrupted their argument in such a rude and disrespectful way.

-

It was the first of 3 days of Derek's suspension. However, that morning he'd been called in by Hotch to be given yet another bad news. Probably the worst news Morgan had ever received from him.

Since Strauss had passed away, the BAU had felt like they were somewhat off the hook, disciplinary measure-wise - but nobody had the guts to admit it out loud. On that specific occasion, though, Morgan had fucked up big time - there's just no other way to say it.

-

A few days before that, they were working on a case in Chicago's south side - Derek's hometown - where a "vigilante" had murdered 5 people among prostitutes, homeless and drug addicts, some of them barely 18 years old, by choking them. Clearly, that case really got under Derek's skin, so when the team had finally located the unsub, he snapped.

JJ and him had arrived first: it was dark and sketchy, hence she wanted to wait for the others, but Derek had vanished into the alleys before they'd even got a chance to actually SEE the guy.

Morgan had supposedly chased the unsub for a while, guided by just his dark shadow, until he lost him altogether. The unsub surprised him from behind a dumpster, making him accidentally drop his gun; so, obviously, the dynamic had quickly transitioned into a fist fight. Derek had got lucky enough that the rest of the team had found them and stopped the unsub before he could choke him with his forearm, against a brickwall.

-

So yeah: he had really screwed up big time. And even being the most comprehensive and tolerant chief that Mateo Cruz was, he couldn't close an eye on that one. So he suspended him for 3 days - basically, from the next case coming up.

But the suspension was nothing, NOTHING compared to what Hotch had just told him.

-

Derek was halfway to his own office, but heard the door of Hotch's office open again far behind him.

"Morgan!" Aaron's voice got louder as he reached him and grabbed his arm to stop him. Derek turned around.

"I-I'm sorry, Hotch- look. I'm not mad at you, I get it, this wasn't your fault." he sighed in resignation, shaking his head, seeing that Aaron's raging features had quieted down - probably because he immediately understood where Derek was going with that. He stayed silent for a while, wearing a lost expression.

"I just don't know how to tell him." he finally confessed, lowering his voice and directing his gaze toward Reid from afar, who was entering the bullpen through the glass doors along with JJ, right in that moment - which meant that luckily he'd heard none of that argument, at least. Not that that was of much comfort anyway, considering the news he was gonna receive in a few minutes.

"I know." Hotch said apologetically, patting a hand on Morgan's shoulder before heading back to his office. Seeing the growing anxiousness in him, and how much there was on his plate already, he decided to let him deal with that, figuring that scolding him for his previous behavior was only gonna add to it all.

-

JJ was chatting with Reid about something while walking past the sliding doors. Rather than talking with him, though, she was talking to him: he wasn't really listening that much, let alone participating.

Since the day Derek had made that mess, things hadn't been very good between him and Spencer - to use an euphemism. And everyone had noticed it. They had a big fight right after what happened; a second fight as soon as Derek had told him about the suspension, and - icing on the cake - they hadn't spent a single night together since then, staying at their own places: one might think it wasn't too bad, since after all only a week had passed, but considering that they ALWAYS went home together, it was...bad.

Being kind of everyone's counselor, Penelope almost always knew each and every side to the same story - not that the others wanted to, but she had such a persuasive way of making one spill whatever they had to spill. For said reason, she'd felt sure enough that she could reassure both Spencer and Derek that the situation of tension between them, that feeling of being lost and not knowing what to do, was just temporary.

Hence, Spencer came up with an idea to try and patch things up, an idea that had been wandering in his head for a while now, but he'd always wanted to wait for the "right" time. He figured that was the right time.

He raised his eyes from the floor and saw Hotch and Morgan, each heading back to their own offices. But Morgan got suspended, he thought, so the only reason why he would've had to be there was that Hotch had specifically asked him to. And there was no way on Earth that could be a good sign.

"...Spence?" JJ tried to catch his attention, seeing that he had stopped walking all of a sudden and was now looking up with a confused frown on his face. Receiving no answer, she shifted her eyes too, to see what could be so interesting that got him staring that intensely.

"Uhm- what is Derek doing here?" she asked, finally acknowledging the distraction.

"I don't know. I'm gonna go figure out though." he replied without shifting his eyes from Derek's office door, closing behind him.

"If...if you don't mind, I mean." he added politely once he'd regained awareness of his surroundings, now giving her puppy eyes.

"Come on now." she said rolling her eyes, wondering why he even doubted that she would let him go. "Go ahead! Do what you have to do." she nodded, affectionately patting her hand on Reid's shoulder.

-

Derek was in his office with the lights off, hunched over the desk to lean on his arms and, obviously, his back was facing the door.

"Hey, uhm...can I get in?" he heard Spencer's muffled voice from outside, knocking on the door.

Derek suddenly opened his eyes, feeling his breathing get heavier by the second; a sensation of unbearable coldness flowing inside his veins and freezing his blood.

Receiving no answer, Spencer chose not to get in yet, afraid to bother him.

"Der- I- I have to tell you something... Are you alright?" he kept talking to him through the door. His voice was so gentle, Morgan was dying inside at the idea of having to tear him apart with the things he had to tell him.

Derek kept ignoring him, so Spencer figured he'd just come in. He closed the door behind him and put his satchel on the floor, switching the light on.

"...What was that thing with Hotch about?" he asked nervously, fiddling with his hands.

Derek didn't move.

Spencer took a few, slow steps toward him, till he could finally see his face. He seemed... concerned, to say the least: his jaw clenched tight as if trying to contain the urge of throwing up, his eyes were open but glued to the floor; his whole body looked petrified, while on the other hand, his brain seemed to be working overload: it was almost as if he were keeping something from him - which he was, unbeknownst to Spencer so far.

"... Derek?" Spencer called him softly with an expression of deep worry, gently putting a hand on his shoulder.

Derek flinched at Spencer's touch, like his skin was so hypersensitive that even so much as a stroke of fingers through the cotton fabric of his henley was enough to bring him back to reality and finally face him, straightening up.

A part of Spencer was faintly relieved that he'd managed to awaken him, but the most part was utterly freaked out by his demeanor, bringing him to instantly take his hand off of him.

"Can I tell you something first?" Derek managed to finally speak up, his voice deep and slightly wavering, only adding to the discomfort possessing the man beside him.

Spencer nodded worriedly.

Derek sighed heavily, trying to find the right words to tell him what he had to tell him; his forehead was already glimmering with cold sweat. Problem was, there were no right words to announce something like that: he was expecting Spencer's reaction to be nothing short of sheer distraught regardless.

-

"Spencer, I- I'm leaving." he ultimately stated, getting to the point without mincing his words.

-

Derek had to leave. That was the terrible news Hotch had given him about 15 minutes before.

He had made sure Morgan understood that neither him or Cruz had had a say in that decision. He'd also made sure to remind him - but that, Morgan knew already - that the Board had been considering to transfer him for months, due to a series of reasons, and that mistake was just yet another excuse added to their list. Moreover, Hotch said that the Board had cared enough to specify that among those reasons, Derek being a risk to the stability of the Unit wasn't one of those. In reality, he was convinced at least as much as Morgan was, that that one had been the ONLY effective reason leading to his transfer: proof of such thesis was in the fact that, during all those months, the Board hadn't been sly enough to avoid hinting here and there that Derek had been, quote unquote, "more of a damage to the Unit than a valuable resource" for some time now.

-

The second those words left his mouth, Derek saw a painful scowl crinkle the space in between his boyfriend's eyebrows. The man was looking sternly into his eyes without blinking, although his visibly trembling breath was betraying that apparent composure.

"W-what do you mean?" Spencer asked after a few seconds of silence, during which he had tried to wrap his mind around that idea, even though he understood what that meant perfectly.

"Hotch said..." Derek paused, shifting his eyes to face the floor, unable to bear with the look Spencer was giving him any longer. "...he said that the Board have been thinking about transferring me to another unit since October. But that last...that last slip, gave them the final excuse."

"Transfer w-where ??"

"DC headquarters." Derek answered, aware that the fact that Washington DC was just an hour car ride from Quantico didn't make any difference. For that matter, it could've been 12 hours: how near or far wasn't the problem.

"Wasn't the suspension enough?" Spencer questioned further, incredulous.

Morgan merely shook his head.

"And you couldn't just say no??" the other added - quite naively on his part - raising is voice, which was getting a bit squeaky as it always did when he was mad.

Derek sighed, frowning. "No, kid, look-"

"Just- don't call me names right now, I wanna know WHY you didn't refuse ?? After all it's nothing but a damn job offer, no one can force you to quit if you don't want to!" Spencer interrupted him before he could even explain, as his sadness was morphing into pure anger.

"It's not a job offer, Spencer. It's- I don't know, it's like when years ago JJ left: Strauss forced her to." Derek explained as crystal-clear as he could, trying not to sound too annoyed by how straight up dumb Spencer was acting in that moment.

Reid stayed silent for a while, gaping and squinting his eyes at him, like he was trying to figure out something that Derek didn't want to confess.

"Is it because you want ? You want to leave?" he asked more calmly. That question only proved that he hadn't even physically heard what Derek had just told him.

"What the hell- are you even LISTENING to me?? Do you realize that what you're implying makes no sense? I don't want to leave, it's either this or being fired altogether, do you understand? I have NO say in this, I have no choice what so ever." he paused, letting out a quivering sigh.

"Fuck, Spencer." Derek concluded like that, with his arms spread open and an expression full of all the rage that he had tried to keep buried inside so far, because he knew he should've had to be prepared for such a reaction. It would be a lie to say that he hadn't tried, though.

Hearing someone scream at him like that always scared Spencer a little, he had to admit. But when Derek screamed at him, it was not only that: it was also painful, because it meant that he was the one hurt and scared in the first place. And, to Spencer, there was nothing scarier than the person who had always protected him and stayed strong for him turning into a scared person.

His eyes filled with tears of frustration, but he was determined to keep looking firmly into Derek's while spitting out to his face what he'd been holding inside since the beginning.

"You did have a choice, though." Reid started, gulping immediately after to try and steady his voice. "You said it yourself that you've known for months the Board were keeping an eye on you- and I KNOW they specifically have a problem with you for no apparent reason - there's no denying that. But exactly because of that, you should've been more careful. You chose to play rebel, untamed, indipendent like you always do when someone wrongs you, and I get that, I- I admire you for that to be quite honest, most of the times, but not this time. Because you know that your voice counts as much as zero to the Board, Derek- you have no power over them, none of us do- not even CRUZ or HOTCH for God's sake! And once again you chose to jeopardize your position, instead of stepping down and getting over your ego." he stopped for a second to quickly wipe off a tear that managed to escape his eye.

"And you knew this would affect me, too." he sniffled. "You KNEW that."

All those things Spencer said - partially right - left Derek speechless and with his heart shattered into a million pieces. Did it even make sense to apologize? To say a corny "I'm sorry"? What would that get him - or either of them?

So he just stood there, jerking his tingling eyes away from him because he couldn't keep up with that stare any longer.

-

Spencer's phone buzzed. He took it out of his pants pocket and read Garcia's text.

"New case! Briefing in 5 mins ;)" it said. If only she knew what Derek had just told him, he thought for a second.

"We-uhm...I have a case." Spencer said, his voice hoarse.

Derek clenched his jaw and ran a palm over his face, as the knot in his throat tightened tenfold: a case meant that they were gonna see each other again in 3 or 4 days at best. He hated the idea that they were splitting up like that, mad at one another.

Spencer had already picked up his bag and was about to open the door, when the other spoke up.

"W-wait, you said you had to tell me something...?"

Spencer sighed and took his hand off the doorknob, turning around. He hadn't forgotten about it - you can't put "Spencer Reid" and "forget" in the same phrase. He was hoping Derek had, though.

He stepped closer, searching for something in his jacket pocket. Without saying anything, he picked out a key and handed it to him.

Derek took it, looking into Spencer's eyes.

"Is- is this the key to your place?" he asked with his mouth hanging open, hesitant to wrap his mind around what Reid was implying with that gesture.

"I was planning on asking you...to move in with me." he shrugged, unable to keep the angry-and-outraged-tone thing going on because of the look he was giving him. "I thought it would bring us together but, look- I don't even know, at this point. I'm gonna let you choose what you wanna do with it." he concluded, resuming that unfazed attitude from earlier.

Derek wanted to wrap him tight in his arms and cry on his shoulder. He wanted to undo what he'd done and go back to how things were before. He wanted to run his fingers through his silky curls and tell him that he was sorry, sorry for letting the impulse of the moment overpower his rationality, and for not having thought of him when doing so; sorry for not having paid attention; sorry for having snapped at him a few minutes before; sorry for ruining everything: he wanted to say that corny "I'm sorry" despite having just decided against it. He wanted to crumble on the floor and hug his knees like a child, whispering a million "I love you"s while Spencer caressed his head, telling him that it was ok, that he had forgiven him. But it wasn't ok. Not anymore.

Morgan dismissed all those options, deciding instead to simply place a hand on his tear-dampened cheek; a hand that was shaking at the only concept of being rejected in a few seconds.

"Spencer...please." he murmured, unable to get a hold of the trembling of his bottom lip and the gradual blurring of his vision; symptoms of a raw cry he'd been keeping at bay for too long.

Spencer shook his head and slowly took Derek's wrist, pulling his hand away. He turned around and opened the door at last.

He froze in spot when Hotch appeared right in front of him, about to knock.

"I was right about to call you, we're all in the conference room already." he said to him with a slightly concerned look, seeing the upset expression on his face.

"I'm here now." Reid replied with an unsettling coldness, getting out of the room by quickly slipping through the gap between him and the door jamb.

Hotch stood there for a second, without actually entering the office, staring at Morgan with a look that said everything there was to say, needless to pronounce a syllable.

He sighed and walked away, heading back to the conference room.

-

- 7 days later, 12:30 am ca.

-

The team were on the jet, 30 minutes from Quantico, after a case in Phoenix, Arizona - long case, long flight. During which, Reid made sure that he was sitting alone.

He knew that Morgan had tried to call him, several times, and even left a message, but he just couldn't let himself get distracted while working on such a hard case.

Now that said case was over, though, there were no more valid excuses to keep ignoring him: he picked out the phone from his pocket and sighed, preparing himself for whatever Derek said in that voice message.

"Hey, look- I know you're ignoring me on purpose, and I get it, alright? But, just- call me back, please ?" there was a long pause, followed by a deep sigh. "I miss you, kid. Bye."

Spencer's heart broke in half. He didn't know what to do: he felt like he'd been too harsh on him but, at the same time, Derek had really messed up, and he wanted him to realize that he couldn't just bury the hatchet like nothing happened.

Another thing that was bothering Spencer was that he couldn't even tell the others. He was the only one that knew about Derek leaving, besides of course Derek himself and Hotch. For the past week he'd really had a hard time trying not to break and just blurt out everything, each time JJ had asked him what was troubling him so much and if he had made up with Derek; or, way worse, each time Garcia had called, admitting to him that she'd tried to reach out to them both, hoping at least one would spit it out. But, as much as he was still holding a hell of a grudge on him, Spencer could've never brought himself to be disrespectful to the point of telling everyone. Morgan had to do it, on his own terms, once they got back.

-

Spencer's flood of thoughts was interrupted by Hotch, approaching him - to be fair, he was quite surprised that he had decided to talk to him just then, 30 minutes from landing. He literally had hours of flight to do it.

"Can I sit here for a second?" he asked politely. Spencer nodded.

Aaron sat down, leaning closer to him with his hands crossed on the tray table.

"I don't want what I'm going to say to sound like a lecture, partly because it's not really my business and partly because you surely have already figured it out on your own." Hotch said straight up but quietly, aware of how Reid didn't like the others knowing about his personal stuff.

Spencer frowned, without saying anything yet, allowing him to continue with his speech to have actual proof that he was about to say what he guessed he was about to say.

"I need you to understand that the Board would've transferred Morgan anyway sooner or later, regardless of this specific mistake. They've been thinking that he isn't suit to stay in our Unit for a while now." he continued, looking straight into Reid's eyes to catch his reaction. It kinda was what Spencer had guessed he was gonna say.

"I-I know that. Point is, he should've been more careful anyway. Maybe at some point they would've given up...I-I don't know." Spencer answered ingenuously, toying with the buckle of his satchel resting on his lap.

"Yes, he should've been more careful. But no, they wouldn't have given up." the other man replied, getting to the point like he always did.

"All I'm saying is, try not to make things harder for him..." he paused. "...and for yourself." Hotch concluded, confident that he'd understand what he meant.

Spencer finally raised his chin, following the other man with his big eyes as he stood up and went back to sit where he was sitting before.

-

- an hour and a half later (2 am ca.)

-

Spencer walked up the stairs of the building - more accurately: dragged himself up the stairs - and got to the front door of his apartment. As he searched for the keys in his pockets, it came to his mind that he probably had to text Derek back, at that point. Even though it was 2 am, which meant he probably wouldn't have replied until morning, he felt like it was only fair to at least let him know that they were back in Quantico.

He opened the door, turning on the lampshade over the dresser, and dropped his jacket on a chair along with his heavy bag. He breathed out a slightly nervous sigh while staring pensively at the phone in his hand.

"Back home...sorry, long case. I'll call you in the morning ?" he pressed 'send' without thinking about it too much. Again: it was 2 am, he was too damn exhausted to stress over a text.

As soon as he put his phone back in his pants pocket, he heard a buzz, like another phone notification buzz, somewhere in the room. Spencer widened his eyes open like he suddenly had some sort of intuition.

He quickly picked his phone back out of the pocket and browsed through his contacts to make a call.

Spencer heard the unknown phone once again buzzing through the silence of the room, so he kept the call going to try and locate where the faint noise was coming from. Following it, he slowly made his way around the couch, which faced the window - not the front door.

-

He hung up the call and brought a hand to his mouth as a silly smile appeared on his face: Derek was lying down on the couch, sleeping. Of course he wasn't able to see him before.

He was wearing one of Spencer's huge, grandpa-like sweaters, which Spencer really only used when he was too lazy to do the whole button-down + tie + cardigan + jacket thing - almost never. He didn't wanna wake him up, aware that it was very late; on the other hand though, seeing him like that made him want to hug him so bad, and feel his warm touch, and the subtle smell of his skin, and hear his deep voice that made his insides flutter.

Spencer quietly sat on his heels on the carpet, and stared at him with heart eyes for a while.

He couldn't resist the urge, and decided that it wouldn't hurt anyone if he carefully reached his hand out to stroke the man's chin with his thumb, light as a butterfly.

-

Derek suddenly woke up, gasping.

"Spencer-" he softly called out his name; a faint hoarseness in his voice. "You scared me" he added with the widest smile. 

"I- I'm sorry, I couldn't just let you sleep." the other replied, smiling shyly before running his tongue in between his lips. 

"I tried to stay awake waiting for you..."

"Yeah, I figured" Spencer giggled.

They stared into each other's eyes for a while; Spencer's thumb inching a little upwards to brush on Derek's bottom lip - both of them pretended he'd done that unconsciously.

Suddenly, he averted eyes and took his hand off of him. His smile faded away, as if the fight they had a few days before had popped back to the forefront of his mind, coming from some place until then hidden.

Spencer gulped and tucked his hair behind his ears; one of many nervous tics of his. There were still a couple things he needed to get off his chest.

"Listen, uhm...I don't want you to beat yourself up too much over this like you're the only one to blame for it- I mean, I'm not talking about the Board, I know you're already aware that they've always had some...you know, doubts, about you, wha-what I mean is that I made some mistakes, too" Spencer finally said. He got back to looking at him and sighed. "I said some really stupid- and mean, things."

Derek stared at him with sad eyes, slightly shaking his head. "Kid-"

"Wait, I owe you an explanation, please." Spencer interrupted him immediately, with pleading eyes.

Morgan nodded, not without a moment of hesitation, though.

"When I said that thing about you having an inflated ego and-and I, basically I implied that you are selfish...that's so not true, because what you did that night was the opposite of selfish, and all these things that you do sometimes, putting yourself at risk...that's irresponsible, but not selfish." he paused, as if rethinking what he'd just rushedly said.

"You're NOT selfish. That's literally one of the most untrue, dumb things I could've said. But- but I was scared! You know? And that's what I do when I really care, I-I can't help it really, I ramble and say stupid thi-"

"Spencer." Derek stopped him right there, placing his warm hand on his jaw.

"I know. All of this, I know. But what it's done it's done, keeping on feeling bad about it and wondering if things could've gone differently it's just not gonna do us any good." he swallowed. "If-if anything, it's just gonna break us apart. And I can't think about that. We're gonna figure it out, you know..." he lowered his voice to almost a whisper, too afraid of the weight of what he was about to say.

He started running his fingers through Spencer's soft hair, a gesture that neither could quite explain how it worked like magic to calm down both of them - ok, NOT true. Of course Reid could explain why physical contact was notoriously soothing. What he couldn't explain, was why for him that applied only to Morgan's touch.

-

"I just can't lose you over this." Derek said at last, once the magic had worked.

Spencer's heart melted like when you hold a chocolate too long in your hand. Like Derek had held his heart too long in his warm hand.

"You're not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever." he hurried to reply, right a second before leaning closer, cupping his boyfriend's face and pressing their lips together.

Derek wrapped his arms securely around him, without bothering to sit up; the hand already entangled in his hair slid a few inches downward to massage the back of his soft neck. He let Spencer's tongue tenderly slip into his mouth, squeezing him tighter to get deeper but keeping it slow and intense. He wanted to take his time to savour his sweetness, that velvet-like way only that man's tongue had to melt into his mouth during the most lazy, chaste and gentle kisses as well as the messiest, hottest, most needy ones. He hadn't felt one of Spencer's kisses for so long that he just wished it could last for hours.

The other's sugar mouth started to slow down until that gum-mushing kiss was over altogether.

Much to Derek's relief, Spencer only parted his lips from his for a few seconds, in order to steady his breathing, and started sprinkling quick pecks on his mouth right after; one leading to another like cherries.

Derek couldn't bring himself to stop him.

"I...missed you...so fucking m'ch" he kissed back, "you and...your stupid kisses" another one, " 'nd I...love you."

After maybe 10 of those suffocating pecks - not enough, if he had to be honest - Derek pulled back slightly.

"Come here." he ordered, patting his hand on the cushion beneath him and shifting closer to the backrest of the couch to make space for the skinny man.

Spencer nodded immediately and stood up to quickly kick his shoes off and untie his tie. He laid down onto his side next to Derek, facing him to keep staring into his eyes.

They stayed like that for some minutes, relishing in the quiet. Spencer was so tired he inadvertently closed his eyes, at some point, still with a hand resting on Derek's temple.

"Can't believe you didn't notice this sweater is yours." Derek mocked, keeping his voice down to a whisper but well aware that the other was still awake.

Spencer giggled and shrugged briefly, without even bothering to open his eyes.

"I did, actually. It just looks better on you."

Derek snorted. "Doubt it, pretty boy."

They drifted to sleep a few moments later, into the comforting warmth of each other's bodies.

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars:         Season 2

      Episode 1 Holocron Heist

We just   had     a heist

[One   nonsense    enough    to knock    me into   nonsensical   incoherent      rambling...]

    Two

Okay...

I’m prepared...

To do.   nonsense...

  Urgh

   Okay..

[Title      Screen]

  [Woah!]

    ....  ..    

Aight

    Okay

A lesson learned,    A lesson earned

Oh..

     That         snapped me out of it,

     A lesson earned                  is           a lesson earned

        [you don’t need a        person to tell you     basic         common sense                                you can figure out yourself]

  ....

   Assumed authority is     bullshit                                       Don’t need to                                    earn any-      [Sorry,              Still           Recov-       er-         ing           From           Last          ep-        Isode]

                  Okay...

                   Any-way

                   Jedi on a                        planet                             . .

                     Some-how                         tr                            ap                               ped                                 -                          Surrounded                               Clones                                  -                                Right-                                     -                           Why?

                           Like - if you needed parts-

                           Okay-

                             I’m                                  in  

                               -terested

                                 Any way...

                                     Wait                                      cruisers?  

                                      Gun   ships?                                                                   R-escue

                                       Oh                                              wait-

                                          That’s                                              Good

                                            Oh                                                  No,

                                              It’s                                                    Plo..

Jokes       About       How       He      Got       His      Men      Blown      Up                         Just                                gonna                                 put                                   this                                 over                                 here

                              Been a                                 while

Also Hey     yeah      what         is         he        doing         here?

  Doesn’t         he       have      Jedi        things        to       do?

      Get           a         new         fleet?

        I mean                th-            (Don’t                Condone               Child               So-                L                diers!)

  But    every     time       it’s     always    Obi-Wan      and    Anakin    because        all         the           rest        of          them        are         too        busy

     So             What-

     Alright          -          Whelp           -          I      don’t       care         —-

   Whelp          —        Ex-plo          —         Is      this       just       going         to       be       an     action        piece?        (Nothing       wrong        with           that;           just        need           a      different      mindset,)

     From          the     applications             of        child       soldiers           -          To          Shoot-

    -Why?

      It’s-       Nice-

-Droids

   Plo-

 General-

     ?

Ev-

Neat-

Good-

 Whelp-

  Grab ‘em to the medic        And Go!

   (Seriously       Windu figured this out yesterday.)

    Grunts

    You’d         think        the Jedi would give the      order?

Seriously,         Good miss,          Five           Min-           Got          Some           One-          Killed

   “ Asoka,”

   First Asoka       mention in the first five minutes

                                [maybe they got her character                                     better.]

                                  -Jungle

                                    You sent-                                         A child

                                    That                                        Logically can’t improvise                                      ...                                              Into                                              a jungle

                                      ....

                                      The  

                                     Fuck    

                                    Skywalker?                                     

Con-tact      Her        -         Dead      -       She’s very likely      dead-       -      Anyway       -        Hope   Anakin     taught       her    those    moves-       -      That’s       a      lot       of     emotion          -           In        the        movements;         Again;

     Monotonous,           Stunted,            Robo              Tot              -ic

         That’s                How              Child-

Nope-

   Tone’s          Off

So,         just           to           go            over;

       1. Tone ❌        2.  Dia-                  Log                   Ue- (?)

        3. Move               -ment    ❌

              I’m hop-

Extract-

     Taught-  

     Okay- 

     Teach         -ing   s

     Aight           Mary          Sue-

      I’m        sorry         but         the        light          is       literally       coming         out!

      Whelp-

      Okay-

        So it’s Ahsoka an    adult yet?

         Like that can be explained away as   acco-untability

          Otherwise,     she should   have a hard time        with        one       Droid!

      (No wait didn’t Obi-Wan just call her                  ‘young one ‘)?

                 Nope!

           Movie, get over there in your               shame corner

  That-        Was painful       over-      reacting

 And         Focus-

   I    Don’t        -      You    couldn’t      have     forced          it     more             if     you    tried         -

        The             Force-           d cha-          nge i          -n         Perspective           Not      Apprec  -iate      D-        . . .    .      Moving         on

  Whelp        ...

    Get            In          -

   That’s           a      direct      order-         -

  “Can’t-”

   Nope!

   That’s            It-

   Tone ❌

   Dialogue; ❌,?

   Move;   ❌    Ment

  Turn in your bad  

  writing card,    

   Movie

   ❌

 (Not a series strike,        Just             A          “Fuck         You,          Strike

          On the            Movie                 And,                This            Chara              -cter

                               (We just had such a good-

                                              Maybe; it gets better?

                                                                               Skipped ahead;                                                                                          It doesn’t

                                                                                       Sigh-

                                                                              *Puts on earmuffs

                                                                                 Meta-phorically

Aight      Back        To       19:06      (Original      time     stamp;           Play

*Think

 Friendly      Fire-

 Nvm

*Thing      Ex-plodes

   In-       stantly

Whelp-     

 You   called       her   before      a   council            ??

   Child          -ren          Can’t          Think           -

Okay

        Movie

       Children                  can’t                         think-

    From ag-

      “This is-”. 

       It should                    be   

         -But                           The              writers                        -                refuse                      to                  write                                  her                                   as                                   child                           -       

The       Pro-

“I-

The          Pro-            Blem         As         the     story       seems   to         be        placing            the               Jedi            on            a            high          pedestal     

        .....                Their             actions               here                as              reasonable       

           .....                         But                          it’s                  not                            ...                If Ahsoka was a child it would be a cruel use of power showing how used only to put the younger generation down before they’re                  old enough to understand it

              And how they’ve given Anakin the illusion of power   

                  -Boomer                               Bait

              If she’s an adult;                           This would be a show of        how             she’s childified by her peers

               As it stands;       

               The writers refuse to chose

Concerning,  due to the fact that  

Child-ify                 Ing            An                Adult       ......    Is    Wrong

  And      adult-ify        ing        a       child       is    wrong         ...      

  Un        equivocally,

Tally    Of       How     Many       Times       Ahsoka-        Is        Adult          -ify          Ied-           ;     

      This is necessary

 [Excuse for odd formatting           The “Movie”,                (Under the                picture)                  Caused                    Tumblr                    To                  heck                   up                  my               spacing)

           Continuing                   on;

“Time    away      from     the      battle-       field,”

  Good,        For          A        Child       Solider        -     (And   would’ve     been       a     good     show      that      any     kind   -ness     from     them       is   performative           ...

                   “Guard duty,”

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         1

 Cite;      Child     ren    Don’t       have     that    much   emotion,        Nor    Pre-      fer      ence-        -

                 “Longer                       now,”

                    Dick                         —-                     Kinda

                     It’s                          better                            for                           children                             not                              to                               be                                in                              battle                                  —

                              So                                 not                                     a                                  complete                                    dick...

                                But                                   not                                    optimal...

                                 “Sorry”

So he said by people who don’t wanna take accountability for their actions and just stop doing the thing and     stop bringing the toxins into the world                                  

Point;     If you    were sorry    you would       stop     doing it,       stop     bringing         it        up,       and            do      better...     —-       Trying         to       control         the      narrative         isn’t          nice          (When           the          truth            is        objective)

       Only           the           self           may            be          both             .....

Security      -

  “Knowledge,”

    *Bag-age

      “Hm,”

  . .. .

   ...

...

Fisto  

...

 In-side

 St-upid      Forbid       Den    

Know-ledge

   (It’s likely   about     plants        Or      Weapons)

Also;

     Boomer         Bait!    

     (That’s something they offer younger         generations to follow their           stupid outdated tradition)

      It’s always          worse...

     (Also, this isn’t about Ahsoka trying to steal the         Holocon thing is it?

      Because her character is already                                                  -hateable- enough

        And if she has enough initiative             to steal the holocon

          - She’s an adult

           And should              be allowed entrance             anyway

          “Jedi            Council,”

             So,                  lady was a Jedi?

               Aight,

                Keeping an eye                     on that                        ...                  Aight                       -   

                 No

                 Went through one.                     drug trip

                   Already

                   .....

                 [Okay...

                ..Got                   a Drink                  of water                   ——                        Interrupt                     -ion

                  Wait I thought he was just a                     ball of                     fuck your plot

                  You’re telling me he actually works                      for                       Palpatine?

After   threaten       ing      Palpatine?

   This      dude           -        fucking         drug           trip            -

...Ser     vices

    I       honestly       thought          he         was             a          [fuck           your          shit]            guy

Now    he’s      a     de   tec- tive

Noir    ....

Movie     that’s      too      many     genres        .....

  You-     need       to    slow   down      .

          Your main            Chara-                   Isn’t                 Even               Esta-                    Blish                      -ed                      Prop                          er                         Ly

            Nevermind                    the           characterization

                 Note if it had been established he changes things every so often that would be neat

                 As                   it stands

               This                  dude is a                 fecking roller coaster

             Not any                thing                resembling                   good

[Giving    your      aud-   ience     a       drug   trip   isn’t   good   writing]

      It makes        them         dizzy!]

      So...       

    Holocron

    Like Palpatine is literally doing this just to fuck over       Ahsoka?

     Also, this is going to result in Ahsoka    being     unchild     -like       To take them out      too?

   I’ll get the -      counter     ready

[yes I have seen it    literally            every   Mall cop/ security guard movie   ever

The   fun     .    seeing how your    (Good)    chara      cters         -     interact     with      the   scenario          -       That’s      not   happening       here        -          If she was a child this would show how    Anakin‘s orders react with the environment

    If       she’s      an    adult;        We’re working through a checklist;         About        what we know about         her;

      Likes, dislikes, how they might come up in a   situation...

       The suspension...            coming when they do

With      Ahsoka...

  What do we know about her?

   Honestly?

    We know she likes         fighting         (Already in enabler of toxic behavior           -against other living beings)

       We know literally       nothing else about          her

       Except...

      That she’s      perfect...

Re-moving         All      Tension;

  Deal

I’m surprise he just wasn’t like    oh      yeah      sure,”

   [Ditches         with       the money]

    ...         ..

   Oh they’re actually talking   strategy

   Usually it’s just         ‘fuck em’ up            And that’s all             we ever           hear

Er-

Whelp-     Yodi’s    dead

Alas,       Poor      Narc

[assuming he can actually sense     disorder in the ranks]

 Gen.      Leader      Ship.      Tox

 He should know     he shouldn’t be doing that

  Focusing     on him       self

    And        practic        ing     accountability          ....       Constantly     micromanaging           and      checking            in            on             your           peers                   ..            Isn’t           going          to make             them           more           likely           to be       accountable..

        It’s         going            to          piss         them             off              ...

      Your (evident) distrust creating a toxic environment              As you were refused to               trust their   char   -acter

  You can’t give me   respect the guy that was just snooping      (Through the whole   uni-verse)

      That’s           the         point...

         A         dis-turbance          in the force

     Yeah?

     Intruders there will   be

     Okay, bullshit       he can see that

   Like;           Peri-pheral            Okay

    (Still tox that you don’t expect your peers          in a peripheral.          to be able to hold             accountability)

But this is galaxies     away        (Ac-tually.    on    Corousant)

  But.      He         Should        n’t       Know        That-

  ‘The      Narcs    pulling    authority     again,       master,”

  “Shh,       this         is         what         we        train-    I mean groom -        you         for!,”

     “But          You            Said,”

      (Con-tinuing             Earl-ier,)

   [Seriously        I meant to bring it up                                earlier,

             But are they really inhabiting                      Zero the hutt’s                         old hotel]

Like it could just be a Noir hotel

 But the positioning       and location         seem         familiar             . . .

     Tell        me...

    Who          the       frick           is          this?            ?

   “What            you        are      doing      back      there?”

    ...   ..

  Aight...

 Assis      -tance

    God          Lord,           He’s           Try             -ing

        -

    Main     tenance

     If I don’t idea   (who this guy was )or what was going on    then maybe that would make sense

       As it stands,             Nope,

        Crash-               es

        What’s             that?

         ....

       What?

       Seriously.             all he did was put another thing into another thing?

        ???

        ...

      Aww, he actually trusts           Bane..

    Thank you         ...

    Door..

    Techno         Service         ...       Droid

     As in a      “tech      -nical  service droid?          (Rt          (IT)     Tech             Guy?

     Or a technical     assistant         (One made of       tech)?

      (Or one specializing in    techno dance moves?)

     Also   is he supposed to get them      in?

  Is    that thing?

 They-   didn’t     really     establish     much-

 Butler      Droid...

Change?

 Todo...   “You are what I say    you are,”

Roomba- kicker

Also, having a roommate is just straight up       detective fiction...

 Like     buddy-cop detective but still     detective

  With noir,      Which       is supposed to be focused on independence        Dis(trust) in society        Which is       admittedly       (toxic)

   Or         seems          to be

     Those two   themes...

          Directly contra-      dictory

[with   Griev-      ous     they       made       it    work,     But     he   wasn’t      this    -         ]

“Uh,”

You    are    not   “The   Doctor,”       -      [that work      ed as    manif-   estation      Of    Greiv-     Ous’s      Toxic    Be-      Hav       -ior-         And      Human      Want        For        Com-        Pan    Ion-        Ship        -       Or         At        Least-      Vul-          Ner-          Aba-              ili            Ty-           -           This          Guy            -          So far he’s a       n(e)igh        invulnerable       Douche          Bag            -            With           No            -thing          Humane-            -           Not           quite      Ahsoka         levels              -       Intend       -ed           To be          an adult            -          Just-            -            Really needing to go     ham -           On the arrogance            And            inhumanity               (He sold his soul for      money- But makes it look      so good- what                    he                   does-                  Gets a sick       kinda  enjoyment from it,”)

             That’s how you   have,  to pull it off

             As it stands;    there’s      no    emotion     with      this    character

Is   the   robot   supposed to be like his   morality pet?

But he’s a   dick to   him   too

Really   he gets nothing   from me

How do even in the    “I-don’t-feel-anything-I’m-so-edgy-and-cool     look at me!’

  Vibes

   There’s nothing     fun...

   Yeah you can throw all the   ...clichés         you want in there

   [But that doesn’t work       if you don’t use them          properly]

     [I see the team up        with a female bounty       -hunter]

    [Predictable         “I work Alone...]           The only thing          those stories               share

            In minute]

But ‘once the effect of’   ‘wow that’s a lot of things.    Has worn off

 The story and character left   heartless

“Non-of- your       Bus-        iness,”

  Doesn’t have the     cockiness to make it      work

  [this isn’t    power-         Ful-]

    Down       right        ..cringe

      As it tries to shove shove two genres.. .    At least...        That don’t          Quite          .work                ...

        Least not the   way they’re trying to make them     work  

.....

..Today

 It’s noir

 The point is      no one’s          in a    good mood.. ...

Aight,

Wasn’t that-

Also,   shouldn’t      he    know-

 Based on how      open-     She     is-      To un-     veiling        her       mask..

   - -

   Robot

So sh-   ouldn’t she ask the robot to leave the room?

(If it’s such a big deal     to her?”)

   He can just run their       face through a     face scan       no?

 Mid-rim

   I thought he didn’t have a way   in?    [That’s a   pretty pathetic   way in.. .]

    [Palpatine’s      screwing           with            him]

       [Giv           -ing            Him             a          hard          time         and       satis    -iating           -          The    ab-    omin-      ations    desire      for    blood🎵,

    Two      birds,         one       stone,

     Also,       Movie,           That’s           the       wrong      amount         of      planning           for        the      wrong      genre          -        We don’t care how the   bank ro    -bbers      Art      -thieves

      Got           There

       This           isn’t           Heist              -           [Money           Heist,              Not              Terr-              Esc]             Got              It           Wrong              [Pre              dict-                   The                  Plot-]               Last                Time.                -

           The                 Focus              isn’t           Character              building-                  - it’s the                   ‘out of depth                     characters reaction to the                    scenario,’

And the wacky hijinks that    ensue

 Using their   talents...    

   Contrast-      ed against the environment        (Mall        cop        example]     

     Which seems to be the best       fit

   Stealing         the-  Holocron-           -         WHAT WAS THE         PURPOSE-

        Well-                At least they ack          -now-ledged                 Planning          really isn’t part of the subset,

                 Good                    (For them?)

                Aight                    Impossible                     ...

             What are the              emotions?

           [like they              literally.             just through in                   the              “the only place...”

             Why..?

             So quick rehash                    (Sorry                      but I can feel the                        drug                          trip coming through,)

                      (Effects-                             Of                            Dealing-                           With                              (bad) excess character;

                         (Deserts                               Metal...)

                       [Refresh]

                       He has a map of the Jedi temple                            Chip                            (Oh so that’s what that-                              (Isn’t he                            still-)  

                    [Changlin’]

                     Aight

                 Bog

                  [Refresh                        End]

                  [Voice                       acting?

                  [Mouth                         sync]

                      ...                        ..                      Aight

                      ..

                    In                         Tru-

                   Maybe                       take                        the                       teen- off guard duty

                     A thought

                    [but-seriously

                       No high                           Alert?

                        Only these   two..?

                        Info-     -Mation

                      Baggage

Seriously money would be a better   option

                        Or       just    street     cred

                     (Adult) humans,                         Aren’t that Liniar...

                    Any way...

                    East   Tower                          ....

  Well that’s better than some   dusty    old     books        -      Holos

  (Seriously at least that’s   present    baggage.)

  Whelp

   Nobody       notices         this       bullshit!

       On a supposedly          secure a       military          base            ....        ...

      Also in the Mid- day break           fecking           daylight!               (With the         hiest it made sense,                 That was a hostage                 political situation                Meant                  to draw in a huge                                              crowd;

               How?

              Cool                   Alright,

               Hey                   isn’t                   she                supposed                     to                      be                    standing                      still?

                 (Guard)

                  Doing patrols?

                   Like                       no                    emotion,                       Face                     Forward,                    Professiona                  -lism

                Not                 Greeter

             (Didn’t they literally call it       guard duty?)

              Like just say you’re sending her to   library service...

              Assis                  -tance

              Again,                  Wrong                     Field...

              They’d                    be                  talking                     to                    the                  library                   helper                    (Official)                      Con-

                 Bother

Not   how a   child   reacts Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         2/3  

   Cite;      Asoka       shows    intentional       over involvement      instincts        more       befitting          of          an          adult            ....

     Good

     Fully    understand        able      reaction          (Kinda)

    (Don’t          yell         at       children)

      Don’t      over involve       yourself             in          the          future            ....

    (But if you’re an        over-         involv         ed         and           (un-)childlike       abomination              (Getting          shoved             for              this                is               likely                 going                  to               happen)

              Dude was actually nicer than       an adult

             Enabler

             (Rule                    Of                    Excess                   Society;                    While                   excess                  verbalization                         is                      ex-                  pected,                   Getting                   in                     someone’s                   way                    (non-sport                        Ing-)                         (Or con     -ferr       ed-)            U-pon

                       Is                          not,                            Attemp                          ting                            to                          move                           them                             away                               the                           customary                                five                              times                                is                            expected)

                            Aight,

So the librarian was right there as     she     harassed        her     client)

    (Not saying;           But           you should get involved        in tox that doesn’t involve you)

      Just don’t         think that would excuse           Her         from ire

      “I can’t do anything right,”

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-       3/4

 Cite;      Child         -ren          Aren’t aware of      self        Ahsoka would repeat a line      blank       -ly

   “Likely      ‘sorry’

   Then back   away

  [Or      the      or     dered    rea       ction-)

    Aight

   Whelp

   Yes

   Just at the librarian be the      pro tag

(She’s      Tox        But..    .        Less         Tox..    ...

   But           Still..

  [Make         [Better]   Pro-ta  g        Than      Ahsoka           ]     

   In..   ...

  That’s a        library   computer..

   You      need        a      pass-        word.       -    The     robot-

   How?

  -

  What?

  Weak     Point?

  You know for     Boomer bait         They      mis-construe        How the library        works a lot

     [I know           -Hav-             Ing            Dealt-]

       Talk-ing            in the            library,

         Is pretty           off

         Like there’s        a reason people are encouraged            to go into the hallway             to take phone calls

          Loud

         These are the guys that value    meditation

          Dude.     Would be shushed       By   Several     irate      Jedi          ...  

    Told to     take it      outside          ...      ...

   I-

[I feel bad   For the Roomba]

[like dude, gaslights him      and then takes       his memory]

Like, Adults      Out     of     it.   ...

  But      ...Droids

   [we don’t know much about the       sentient ones     Or how much   senti ence]

    But          this         whole       scene...

    Makes me feel     dirty

    Like;       it’s played     for humor

    When;       it should be played            to how much         a bastard           this guy               is

      Screw-   ing         with       anything-  

       Like            That              ...  

      Toxic            ...    

      Sick..

  How?

     Aight..

    What.         .

    Re-          Cyc

    Why?         ... ..

Kenobi

Jump-ing coincidence

     [i’m con   -clusion]

       Damn,        the narc

         [No one   tell him   anything]

   [Might       fake         a       heart       attack]

    Comm.

     [How half assed is         Yoda’s peripheral?]

     Venti -lation

  -That’s        Smart-

   Almost       -Too             -Smart-

        👍  

  -Tower

    High         Alert

   Place            the       Temple        -

    Wasn’t, already?

    Left it undone

   Way to go     smart     guy           -      Cool        -        But      kinda    pointless..

 Aight-       Never mind

  I-  Might’ve       Been      Wrong-

 Al right

[Seriously,   no one hears this?]

 [In most heist movies      they at least had the    intelli-     gence-

    [No hate       -villains can be stupid]

  Do you some small well           re-lativel unknown library

   [or at least not the one     at the place they were robbing]

   Because everyone would      recognize that the actions occurring match up to what he’s describing         And the description        Of their       building.]

   Aight

   Neat-

   Past

  Whelp-

  Aight-

  Shred-          (Un-acc         Oun         T-able)

     K-Pop

     Well        that’s            a       name...

    Whelp..

Cool.. ..

Bane    ...

Whole..     temple

   And I heard you very          obviously        plotting...  

   So...  you’re getting kicked

Also he could be possibly looking up     intruders plans.. ...

Like pretty one dimensional     opinion    of on ‘High Alert’, lady

  [Especially       for a         librarian.]

Thank    you

 Whelp...

  There went my expectations

   Also,     Every Jedi leaving the library didn’t notice that that     shit?

   Like,  they didn’t have guard’s ready to apprehend him 

   ...On the           Other              Side?

         Okay...

         You just           moved her...

         Do you know this could’ve been an episode             with a lot of emotional depth              Showing how terrifying adults that abuse children can be             adults that            swear to have their interest in heart               And how overinvolvement               Is harmful              regardless of who it’s coming from                (Neglect- of child-                   And - accoun                       tability)                   Working off the                “blank line”,                 ‘I can’t do             anything right,’                    And the Jedi                -Council’s treatment of                   her                “Foreshadow                   -Ing,”                    (I use              that word              loosely)   

            Their            down-                fall

             Instead                     we                got                  this-

           And              he just abandons            the computer-

     Aight,             Just contin          -ued on - with          -out his         instruction

       Despite          see-ing           how bad           that          went.       Al-right

     Okay-

    Aight

    Really?

   Without    instructions?

   .

   In

    Calls       friend

     You were               fine       without him       the last few        seconds              .....

      “Give-”

   Not gonna      question that?

      “Voice-”

       She’s            a changling..

            “Now,”

          Hidden

          You’re              in a vent?

           Oh, Skywalker has           immediate            intuition               ...

           And a breech           didn’t somehow sound off alarms

          Yeah. .             Good..thing you didn’t close up the thing              ..

        Whelp..

        How?

       Okay. .

      Shame..           they didn’t get a hold of a force sensitive         kid             (I- don’t want it to       happen)

       Just-

      .. .

   .. Here

     Hurry          I can         Hear..       .        Bull-        Shit         .

   You have rocket boots        they have the force

    You shouldn’t         hear shit-

   Sur-prisingly,         No Ahsoka

     Good

    The lower       the counter stays..   

       The        better          for       humanity

 [and my      brain]

   [Vent]

   Seriously,       you didn’t tell your       partner?        About the Jedi on       High Alert?

   Ser-          Force-

   How deep         is that        thing?

   [Aight,          Pat-

    You’re telling me they still haven’t figured out the        Holocron?

     We only           saw-

     Shouldn’t one of you go one way and the        other go the other?

    To cover     more ground?

    They’re-        Really       putting       a lot      of faith-

In the   Comms

  Also shouldn’t there be more   Jedi crawling over the place?

   Seriously,         it’s just these two?

     [We know Plo       isn’t doing anything important.]

    [We saw       him near the opening?]

    And        Kid Fisto..

     Heck...          Is   everybody else doing?

    A-ight

   “Closer,”

    Shouldn’t it be      ..further

     Archive..     [Library]         Comms?

     Got it-

     Whelp..

      Okay..

      Not, putting up that       door,

      What are you         smiling about?

      There’s plenty of lasers

     And      you don’t even know        where the thing       you’re looking for               is

           (Inside the compartment)

      ....

   Aight

   Might- not have been a   smile-

    Look for       the open         vent   

    (Dude clum-           Un-          Acc             ountable)

       With             Vents

        Also look at all these        assholes standing around          doing nothing

  Also, no one’s going to check up on the child 

  Like, Ahsoka surely got that message      right?

   Temple-

   Deep in the         temple-

   Use-less

      ...

    ‘Cause you’re idiots       who don’t check for open vents           Or cover      more ground?

   Or...  

    [Get, anyone to help you, in this big ass vent,”

   It’s not very hard to see       why.. .

   Ass         -itance

  Ahsoka’s,         not gonna get blamed for this      is she?

   Won-

   Yeah, the narcs      pretty     useless

    Also, why can’t you have the dude just shut off those lasers like he did the rest?

  Done

    Oh, they address it   

     Good,

     Yep,

     How?

     But...

   Okay...   

...

    Okay   

   ....  

    What’re you         still       doing          ...

   Okay,

  What’re        you      doing?

   [Is the Holocron seriously right       there?]

     That’s. lucky

      Weirder               and             Wei-rder

         Hey isn’t your personality        over-written?

           By the               chip?

            Aight

          S-eriously?

         Still              Here?

         On- alert-?

Coin-     cidence?        !

  Augh

    Is that’s seriously the alert?

     Several          minutes-

       No wonder         those guys           were so late...

          ...

       Sense           De-          Cep          Tion

     Po-          S-ing            As            A           Jedi.

       Okay           now         Yoda’s            just         reading             the          death               report

     Jo-casta

     What?

       But           that’s         actually             a           good            idea                -              If shits about to go down you might as well find the person who might hold them accountable instead of letting you get the shit beat out

       Run-

       Serious-ly           shouldn’t she just shout out her name?

       [Like I know                       - High Alert-                     But Ahsoka isn’t going to be much use against a                    Adult...                Either way                                        Might as well   find her [and     scare off the intruder-]

  Also how come     “innocence”        doesn’t get           the same notification

       Did they forget his              wristwatch?

       [Like-            seems important-]

       Who are you?

           Dang                 It?

            You               were             supposed                  to                report                 back!

               Also no one           heard any of this before

           Also; are you going to tell me that AHSOKA, the child   soldier,      Is going to beat this guy       When      the fully trained elderly Jedi got her ass kicked?

   Nah.. .

   “You,”

    Dead

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-           4/5

   3x

-Un-orthodox show of initiative              1x

-Counter          1x

- Surviving this            1x

(4x) 

  Getting her on the           run!

        1x

Tot; 7/8

-Surviv-ing;

   - 1x         - 1x

    -1x

    -1x         -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

   -2x         (I’m tired of counting them        one by one-)

     -2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

    - 

    Er

    Okay

     Whelp

    Aight

    -Right

    Shape

    -Skill

     -Ew

     Whelp

      Okay-

      Where did         your get your skills from?

     Abomination?

     Aw-  

     Todo-

   -Yet

    What-ever

    Butler

    Tech

   Neither         of       which       have     anything        to do         with       ironing        doors        open           ....   

      ....       There       he goes

     Sy-mpathesize-  more with him            than this douche bag even if his          turn does make a little sense

     Aight.

     Whelp

      Finally found that          vent.. .

       Right

       No, he wasn’t

      “Comms,”

        Not            Holo-          Cron

      .....

     Completely un-realistically        

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-        28/29        And         1/2

    (1/2 because referring to the action what respectively doesn’t count as a whole- sin-          It does deserve note that you decided to repeat your bad writing-)

         Jedi

   She       Says-

  (Un       Be        Li       Ev        Able)

 Holo      -cron

 Jedi       To      Open      It     ..  

Okay,   

..   

Up-     To-

 Again, with the   communication     center-!

  Dude, just wanted a   Holo-cron

   (Seriously        that was very tortured      logic,       Think the writers;     just wrote this scene        Then realize but wait       “why are they in the Holocron/             Comm           Cent,?”

     And that’s how        Anakin/Obi-Wan           Obsession with the com      center began...

    [sorry but there was no reason for them to be in the        Com center!

      That I’ve heard!]

   In

   Aight,      What?     What       -ever

   ...  ..

  Wrong-

    Yes

    Com-          Center-

    Ser-iously     even he doesn’t know what’s up

   You   heard      me

  And        my     stupid      plan

    To send you to the     Coms center to justify Obi-wan’s     obsession-

    Craw-          ling

     And we have no reason      to-o

   Why?

    Now!

   Yelling- doesn’t mistake the clear lack of   reason

   What-     ever-

    Right

    That’s one way      to do it

    Really

  Also, how does   -that not-

That was less than   one minute

Also,   but no one else will hear that but   these two      . .

 And they’ll   still progress to the   comm center        ...

“It came from the com center,!”

   How!?

You, guys,

  Comms,       Archives,

   Aight,       Nice

  Com-munication        center-

    Ha-           ha-          ha-    (I’m sorry   but that has come back around      to kinda funny,”

 [something Happens across the     galaxy]

Obi-won; It was the com’s center

—-

Aight,    right, 

...

O-kay

...

How??

 Where?

 Okay      ...

Cloak       Ing?

 What?

[you can’t defy the   rules of logic that much       (Physics)       You need to explain where he went   otherwise it’s a loony tune      Of    sus-    pen    sion-

Okay?

What??

I thought-       the thing-  

....

O-kay

right

Take it,

Which       ,One

 That-

 Right

What-      Ever-

  Aight-

He knews

 What-      Ever

  Don’t call   your eggs

   Move

  Restraint

  Whelp

 Use-less

    Just     There

     Whelp

     Nope-

      Okay-

       He           Try

      [Hey         guys,]

       Off               That’s           some         assumed          authority              over         familiarity..

        Aight..

      Okay,

      They’re really            letting             him             get            away             with              the             story

         Tries-

       What?!

       -When-

      Bomb-  

        Both-

[Also   Mace   Windu        is     still      the       only       semi-efficient      Jedi...

   Asshole !

    (Can’t          make the text bigger enough to display my           outrage!)

   [they      played that off         as humor!]

     That was a scream of death!

     Of         Murder!

   [if that was a sentient-       And my God     it seemed damn close!     Dude was just murdered

   The surprise-        “ I didn’t        see it coming, h        onestly not his fault kind!”

      One that would call for      immediate robotic vengeance!

    * im-mediate    ac-countability

      If sentient,

   What the Hell?!

     That-

     Horror        -        fy-            Ing-

      Oof

“Was        it     sentient?      Crud, I      might       lose        my       least       toxic    credentials

  (           )

   Whelp

    How?

     No        Way-

   A-ight

   Shit

  -shit

- she did     nothing  

   I-

  Call      Sec-

  Whose       that?

    Whelp

     Okay..

     That          Who

    Dys-   functional          family          road         trip             -           War

       No          shit

 Oh wait at           the comment table was by all the other Jedi

       So...

       the whole time Obi-wan was just complaining        he didn’t want to do the job

     Skywalker          agreeing with him...

      And...  wanting to ditch their post

 In chara,

   Just, a little bit funny      when you think about it

  Right,

 You bought            them      all the way         here?

      ...

Also look isn’t the unchild-like abomination adorable when she’s talking about punishing people more severely

Holo-cron

The heck     is a       holocron...

Wait-

 What-

   Why-

   How-

   ??

 Why is this     being allowed to      happen?   -

    ...

  Snitch

[like seriously how is it helping her   case, whatsoever?

Plea     Bar-gin

Aight,

Okay

That was just a completely random target   on his list...

- -

The one accountable adult

Keeper       Kydra      Crystal-

- Holocrons

   Data

     -

   You get out of here         youngling

     Force         Sensitive       Child ?

     Are we really going to get into the        powers        eugenics?             (Or         power        genetic       superiority)

       Also would it be a kin to basically every child or just any child destined for leader ship

   (Like gen       leader ship?)

    Cause..

Also, yeah   good idea keeping that around

And you named...

...

Young’lings

 Future

Oy!     You put that back where,   it came from so help me

Future  

vision

is cheating

In reality,   if you did have that power,    you should keep     your mouth        shut

And it completely negates   the point of a choice based universe

   (Takes all the       risk out of it)

    Making the story     completely useless

    (For the sake of tension       I’m going to ignore        that..)

    Going on the       assumption...

     That’s the Jedi           are just a bunch of          narcs

       Who           like        claiming they know the future

       When in reality only the future              knows the future...

           Worn.                 Them

              Oh so it’s just School    roll call...

    Contact

   You must

Ya no dude’s already a    headstart...

Ahsoka

 Dude,  he just override   the punishment   

  Does he   have the authority to do that?

   [I     don’t     think        so]

 Cad bane

   He      probably isn’t

   And you already know him From the previous episode

    Good for         Obi-won

      Aight

     Mace Windu         don’t give a fuck

      Kid Fisto              disappeared

      And. .       Luminara(?)

       Went to go get a snack....             ?

        I don’t             know

        Yoda

        Got          Overruled

       Aight,           Okay

  .....

     This episode...

         Makes me feel disgusting              Watching                The middle                 At least

           It’s very clearly                 boomer bait...

           The beginning...

          Focus-ing on the           importance of taking orders           (With no                       sarcasm                                   to my understanding,)

       Progressing,               Into, 

             Dah, de, dah,                          Generation                        ____                    doesn’t               understand                  books!

                  *We might  if they got out of our way, let us do our thing, dis-covered and pract-iced excess, on our volition

                   *if we wanted   to

Honestly   convinced.  I should’ve      given       them          a        strike       right       there 

Out     of  

Malicious

 Won’t   (Out of restraint)

But     a   thought   none-       the-  

 less

Being        a     (toxic)      Boomers     Fantasy        in   which    they,      the     all   powerful      all   knowing       adults     must       help       poor     Ig-      nor        -ant       (Child)-

(I’m sorry   this really       disgusts me)

  -with enough initiative            To praise their Brilliance

         (It’s re-ally   di-sgusting)

           This isn’t            seen as an overreach                   Or con-                Des-cion                      Of                       A                     Gen

And gives no   in-dication it recognizes how creepy what it’s doing is

Apart from the lighting in the council room

  *Which       I’m now convinced is permanently broken

    And continues with the assum-ption of a   life-time                       Over the future

     Breaking; the story pretty thoroughly

     And announcing the       return to      mediocrity...

     (Border       -ing on attempt at          lower        standards)

 (Also they playoff the death of a semi-sentient species      For            Humor?

       He          died        screaming!

[maniacwatchestheworld]

So The Mystery of Haunted Island is just... A baffling episode! Just like... I have no idea how they managed to make an episode like this. It’s just so incredibly incompetent! After finishing season 1 of ‘The New Scooby-Doo Movies,’ I was starting to wonder if all of the Harlem Globetrotter episodes would be good ones. Well, unfortunately, this one’s a stinker! And in so many ways that I didn’t expect!

I mean, on paper this episode doesn’t sound bad in the story department at all. The gang comes across the Globetrotters practicing in a shack by the side of the road after the Mystery Machine runs out of gas. They meet, chat a bit, and then the Globetrotters decide to accompany them on a picnic on a nice little island. They take the wrong boat and instead they all end up on a haunted island. The Globetrotters need to go to sleep since they have a game the next day. However the spooks on the island are keeping everyone up. The mystery is solved, and it turns out that the guys running the team that the Globetrotters are up against in that aforementioned game are the ones behind the ‘hauntings.’ The Globetrotters are dead tired the next day during the game, but they manage to win after getting some help from Shaggy and Scooby. The story is fine and could have worked perfectly well. However watching this episode, it felt pretty slow and it lagged a LOT. But that’s really nothing new for Scooby-Doo. I don’t really mind that. But what really baffles me is the sound mixing!

The weirdness in the sound department makes itself very clear pretty early in the episode. While the gang is just wandering around an abandoned shack on the side of the road, for some reason the music playing in the background is the suspenseful chase music! Like... Nothing’s happening! They’re just trying to find a phone or the owners of the shack so that they can get some gas! Why are you making this pretty mundane set of tasks sound so dire with this music!? And don’t get me wrong. Sound jank happens in this show all the time. Sometimes the wrong characters speak, sometimes the lip sync is awful. And sometimes someone is supposed to be talking, but no sound is playing. And yeah, some of this happens in this episode too, but usually the show at least gets the music right! At least they don’t usually make it this jarring! And at one point a bat makes the squeaky wheel sound... Like... What is even happening! I don’t think that you’ve ever screwed up the sound effects before!? Did you really think that people wouldn’t recognize that sound effect!? Because it certainly doesn’t sound like a bat! And the end... Boy howdy that end! If you thought that jarring music choices were bad... Throughout the entire basketball game (which takes up the last 7 minutes or so of the episode, mind you) they had absolutely no background music! It was just pure silence, as a basketball game was being played and funny shenanigans were being had! It was just silent. Like, I can get the first half being silent as the Globetrotters are losing and they are supposed to be building up tension... But when the Globetrotters are making their glorious and hilarious comeback? PLAY SOME KIND OF MUSIC! PLEASE! But no! The background is nowhere to be found! And that just makes me pay so much more attention to how many times they recycle animation over and over and over again in these last 10 minutes! I wasn’t even paying that close attention, and they clearly used the exact same animation sequence three times in the last 10 minutes! It’s not even slightly different! And just... HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FUCK THIS UP!?

One other thing that I noticed about this episode that threw me off a bit was that a lot of the animation was straight up janky as fuck. Characters look hella off model and weird. But at the same time, I kinda get it. Some of the stuff looked jank because they were trying to give some spots more fluid animation. And that’s fine. It’s weird to look at, but it’s perfectly fine and understandable. But all of this together? It makes for one hell of a wild episode and not a particularly good one either. Just... Guys... You really dropped the ball on this one. It’s just baffling!

[alj4890]

Angst Prompt

(Thomas Hunt x MC) (Matt Rodriguez x MC) with the request to have MC confronted over choosing Thomas over Matt on a talk show. Requested by Anonymous

A Red Carpet Diaries Fan Fiction.

I don't own any of these regardless of what my credit card statement says.

A/N: Thanks nonnie for this! I've wanted someone to confront MC over this for a long time 😉

Not sure who all to tag and should have probably posted this with the question/answer, LOL. @hopelessromantic1352​ @sunflowergirl05​ @cora-nova​ @krsnlove​

Masterlist

The Interview

"Welcome back to Film Plus! I am as always, your host, Christie Gallo. I am thrilled to introduce our next guests. You first saw them heat up the screen in Tender Nothings and they now have a new film opening this Friday. Give a warm welcome to the stars of Critical Mass: Jessica Clark and Matt Rodriguez!" Christie stood to hug Jessica and Matt while the studio audience cheered.

"Thank you!" Jessica smiled while tucking a lock of her short black hair behind her ear.

"It's great to be back." Matt added while sitting down next to Jessica.

"So..." Christie sat down across from them. "A lot of big things happened this past year."

Jessica laughed. "You can say that again. It has been one whirlwind after another."

"First off, I saw the film and loved it!" Christie exclaimed. "It had everything! The suspense though, I was on the edge of my seat from beginning to end."

"Yeah, I'm still seeing a masseuse from it." Matt rubbed the back of his neck, causing the audience to laugh.

Christie smiled at him. "I bet. This is your third movie you completed this year so far, right?"

He nodded. "I have been keeping busy. After my accident on the set of Double Agent, I decided not to sit back and let things I love pass me by."

Christie turned to Jessica. "This has been a big year for you too. A wedding, an extradionary directorial debut, and now this film. When do you have time to sleep?"

Jessica grinned. "I've heard of this sleep you mention, but I haven't met him yet."

Christie laughed as Matt teased his costar. "You two have been close for how long now?"

Matt and Jessica looked at one another. "Three or four years I think." He said.

"Yeah, you were basically the first person I met in Hollywood." She replied.

"Really? How did that happen?" Christie asked.

Jessica put her hands over her face while laughing. "My best friend and agent decided we should crash Matt's party. I didn't know until we got there that we were not technically invited." She looked over at Matt and smiled. "I snuck away to be alone and try to breathe normally at being surrounded by Hollywood's most famous when I bumped into Matt."

"Then what happened?" Christie asked.

Matt colored some. "We heard some people coming in and ducked into a closet together. The um close quarters, ah, made it a very tempting position."

"We made out." Jessica added with a wink.

"See. This is what is missing from my set." Christie turned to her stage manager. "I could be stuck in a closet right now with Matt, Demetrius, if you would allow it to be constructed."

The audience and guests laughed at the insuing banter between the host and stubborn manager.

"Back to that love story. So was that kiss the beginning of something special?" Christie propped her chin on her fist and smiled in encouragement.

Jessica readjusted in her seat and tried to joke. "It certainly made filming the love scene in Tender Nothing's easier."

Matt averted his eyes from her and shifted more upright in his chair. "We were both busy with filming back to back movies."

Christie seemed oblivious to the tension growing between her guests. "Now when you two were a part of Double Agent, were you dating? I know Jessica that you were reported as being with Chadley Fortnum, but that seemed a little hard to believe. You and Matt had been seen together at the Tender Nothing's premiere and seemed so close."

"Chadley and my relationship was a publicity stunt. Matt and I were kinda a thing." Jessica was blushing.

Matt cleared his throat. "We were more than kinda, Jess." He turned back to Christie. "Jessica and I were in a relationship then. She was with me throughout my recuperation after the accident."

Jessica rubbed her forehead. "That was a difficult time for us. I was being attacked by Viktor Montmarte and didn't want to burden Matt with it while he was dealing with the possibility of never acting again."

Christie's smile softened. "You met your husband around this time, right?"

Jessica shook her head. "I actually saw Thomas at Matt's party and then he attended the premiere of Tender Nothing's". Her lips curved into a reminiscent smile. "He told me that night he hoped we would work together someday."

"But this was when you became close to Thomas, right?" Christie prodded.

Jessica eyed Matt. "Yes. We kept our relationship professional. Thomas cast me as the lead in The Last Duchess and supported me as I dealt with Viktor."

"It must have been hard on you. The threats from Viktor, worried over Matt's accident, and falling for Thomas." Christie replied. "If you don't mind my asking, when did you realize Thomas was the one you should be with?

Matt silently focused on Jessica, waiting to hear her answer.

Sbe lowered her eyes to her tightly clasped hands in her lap. "I..." She cleared her throat. "The night before our premiere party...I couldn't sleep and went to the studio. Thomas was finishing the final edits and we..."

She closed her eyes at the memory. It had been one of her favorites yet she knew now how much it was going to hurt Matt, the one man who had done nothing but be her steadfast friend and one time love. "We ended up kissing that night."

Matt lowered his eyes while a muscle spasmed in his jaw.

Jessica darted a look at him. "Thomas encouraged me after the kiss to think about what I wanted with our relationship. I...I knew he was the one I wanted to be with."

Christie sighed softly at the romantic part. "When did you tell him?"

Matt kept his eyes down. Jessica swallowed as tears began to build in her eyes. "The next night at the party."

Christie grimaced slightly. "Matt, I bet it was hard to attend that night after the breakup."

Matt looked up. His lips twisted in a bitter, depreciating smile. "I bet it would have if I had been told anything."

The hostess paled as it hit that she had led them into a depressing story. "Oh. I'm so sorry. I didn't--"

"You could have told me, Jess. All I ever wanted was to see you happy. Do you have any idea what it felt like to see you and Hunt disappear?" Matt said. His voice had a hard edge to his serious tone. "Then there were all the suggestive comments about what you two must be doing in private. After that, you said goodbye to me as if I was just some random friend. I stood there in shock as Thomas wrapped his arm around you and took you home."

Jessica swiped at the tears falling down her cheeks. "Matt, you're one of my best friends. I would never intentionally hurt--"

"You did hurt me. I was like the rest of the world. I got to find out through magazines and appearances that you and Thomas were together." His tone softened. "Look, I'm happy you two have each other. Really, I am. It just would have been nice to have been worth some type of explanation." Matt swallowed down the bitterness that he was finally able to release.

Jessica accepted the tissues Christie handed her. "I am so sorry I made you feel anything like that. If I had known..." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I should have told you. You are one of the kindest men I have ever known. You deserve nothing but the best."

Matt folded his arms and nodded as his neck convulsed with trying to swallow.

Jessica laid a hand gently on his arm. "Matt?"

He released a deep breath and briefly hugged her. "You know I forgive you. Let's forget about it."

Christie wiped her tears and tried to turn the conversation into less personal grounds. As Matt explained the clip they had brought for the audience, Jessica kept her eyes on him.

She thought of their past and then the night she had met Thomas under the bridge. She fell hard for the director and he made her forget every single time she was near him what she had once felt for Matt. Even now, looking at her friend and co-star made none of the flutterings and excitment build as seeing her husband did.

Jessica and Matt walked off the set after the interview was concluded. Matt waited on her as she gathered her purse and coat. They walked together outside to the waiting car to take them back to the hotel.

"Matt," Jessica began, "are we--"

"We're good. I was in love with you once." He admitted. "But seeing you with Thomas has shown me that there is something better out there." He patted her hand. "We won't talk about this again and I don't want you worrying about it affecting our friendship."

Jessica kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Matt. And I mean that for everything." She cocked her head to the side. "You really are a great guy."

A grin slowly formed. "I try." Matt pulled his phone out. "We have another interview tomorrow. I say we make certain it stays on topic of the movie instead of our shared past."

"Deal." She held her hand out and chuckled when he shook it.

[oceansgratitude]

re: your tags about the tip of the megamind fanfic iceberg and having a ton of unpublished material, can I just say, I am WILDLY curious about what all is lurking in your unpublished drafts

Thanks, Dal! Yeah, I was looking at them yesterday, and a bunch of them actually surprised me. But I’m very close to finishing a first chapter, so you’ll finally get to see at least a little something!

The tricky thing is, once I get a plot idea in my head, I start thinking of cool symbols, character arcs, and easter eggs I can stick in. And then I’m like, “Ooh, we should add more description here to get the reader to think about this theme!” and “Ooh, we should add more suspense here so the climax is more exciting later!” And then I’m like, “Ooh, I should have cute little illustrations for each chapter, like in Harry Potter!” (Cause I’ll never forget how those little pictures got me to keep reading all night as a kid. :P)

So I have a bunch of really exciting outlines in my Drive that get my blood pumping. But when I actually go to write normally, it’s really emotional and atmospheric, but it rarely makes sense. I think that’s kinda why all my drafts are super dramatic, without context, and relatively short. 

And then there’s the fact that I should probably be putting more energy into original writing. And I probably could just switch the names of the characters. But Megamind and Minion are so distinctive, and their characters are so embedded in this fandom canon, I’d have to completely re-establish who they are. When it comes to them, I think I’d rather deal with the canon our fandom has already set out than to introduce them to the wide field of sci-fi. 

(Wow, this answer is getting kinda long; I hope that’s okay. Some intrinsic realization is actually happening here!)

Over the years, I’ve noticed some common themes in Megamind fanfiction that I don’t necessarily agree with. So, a lot of the things I want to write are meant to challenge those ideas. 

For example, the relationship between Megamind and Minion can be easily classified as abusive. They’re really close, but the way Megamind treats Minion still isn’t normal, and the whole fandom kinda just overlooks that. It’s just worth exploring much more than it has been.

So, the “big fic” that I’m pulling together right now is made of the little fics that I wrote separately that all shared similar themes: Minion’s isolation, his lack of independence, his lack of confidence in his own judgment, and the ways that Megamind manipulates him. I want to turn it into a story where Minion grows out of that role, and maybe the two come to a more healthy relationship. Or maybe they don’t. One is easier to write than the other.

(And that’s not even mentioning all the headcanons and world-building I’ve done for their homeworld and the outline I have for THAT story. Geez. That one will be so much work, I probably will go the extra mile to change their names and hopefully that published somewhere, someday.)

The reason it’s taking so long is my perfectionism; I want the descriptions to be emotional, to draw the readers attention to the right themes, to use consistent imagery and symbols, to manipulate the pacing and tension, and make the fic stand out from others using pictures and blah, blah, blah... so I’m basically re-writing all the short fics to make them fit.

But since I’m also a full-time college student with an internship... I should probably just get my priorities straight, post fast, and move on with my life. But I been thinking about this stuff so long, I want to do it right, you know?

Anyway, that’s a little background about the unpublished skeletons I found in my Google Drive closet the other day. Thanks for asking. XD

[dillydedalus]

january reading

why was this january at least 3 months long

unequal affections, lara s. ormiston (audio) this is jane austen fanfiction about an alternate version of the story where lizzy does accept darcy’s first proposal - their ensuing engagement, which (because lizzy doesn’t go off about how she feels about darc in this one) is full of unspoken conflicts and tensions & hella awks. the initial premise needed some suspension of disbelief but once i got over that i found it super enjoyable, pretty believable in terms of character interactions and interiority (darcy is a dick), funny & sweet. i don’t think i will necessarily start getting into JAFF now (tho goodreads rly thinks i should), but this was just. nice. wholesome. also now i want to reread p&p..... 3/5

lincoln in the bardo, george saunders (uni) ya know what i really liked this. this is about abraham lincoln mourning his young son willie during the civil war, not exactly a topic i’m particularly (at all) interested in, but the execution is so cool - it’s told partly thru fragments from historical records, books, letters (both real and imagined) and partly thru the voices of the many ghosts stuck in a kind of limbo in the graveyard, who are trying to get willie to move on, while they themselves desperately try to stay in limbo, bitter about what went wrong in their lives and in denial about their state. & it’s done really well, the polyphony and contradiction of the historical record (one chapter has a bunch of quotes about how ugly lincoln was & then the last is like ‘idk i thought he was kinda handsome’), and the ghosts are so sad & bitter & desperate & hopeful. 4/5

the steppe & other stories, anton chekhov (tr. from russian) bunch of short stories from 1880-1890s russia. to be honest, i found most of them pretty boring, although ‘the duel’ is pretty good, an interesting look at how sticking too closely to your worldview/ideology/morality will probably either make you a useless disaster person or a eugenicist douchebag. some of the other stories were okay as well, but overall: 2/5, i’mma stick with his plays

perfectly preventable deaths, deirdre sullivan  teenage ocd witch book! this is a pretty good YA witchy horror book about twins who move into their new stepdad’s castle (yeah he has a castle) in a weird irish village where girls have been going missing for decades. creepy magical-ish things start happening (of course) & our narrator isn’t sure whether her sister’s new age-inappropriate boyfriend is just creepy, or creepy. i love the concept of ocd witchery & the atmosphere is really good as well, but the pacing is off, with slow build-up & a climax that happens way too quickly. also like can someone please say the word ocd it’s not gonna kill ya. 3/5

the priory of the orange tree, samantha shannon gonna be controversial here & say... yeah this should have been a duology. give the world some room to breathe, give the characters some room to breathe (give me another book w/ a cover this spectacular). anyway, this is a bigass book about eastern vs western dragon lore, a holy queendom (go sabran of inys!!), dragonriders, lesbian sword mages, how religion & historiography marginalises women, and magical trees. & like, okay, i wrote a lil thing right after finishing it about how i had some quibbles with it but enjoyed it overall but you know what? the more i think about it/let it sit the more complaints i have and the more annoyed/disappointed i get. 1) i liked all the characters fine, but none of them feel like they have any depth - i feel like i could sum all of the main characters up in like 3-4 words, and while i was rooting for ead/sabran, even this, the most central relationship of the book felt... surface-level. like, there were some big emotional moments but generally all i felt was like ‘good for her’ or ‘that sucks i guess’, 2) this world & its mythology is very much inspired by eastern vs western dragonlore so i understand the need to ground the fantasy world with real-world parallels but the extent to which some of the countries are literally just fantasy versions of real countries was... frustrating? irritating?? this is especially grating as, while inys is very clearly fantasy!britain, there is a lot of cool world-building (religion, aristocracy, history/myth) to make it more than that, while fantasy!japan and fantasy!china are literally just ... ‘what if japan but with dragons’. i did like fantasy!netherlands because at least you don’t see that a lot. 3) so much of the plot is just people travelling to different locations to get and transport different items but most of the travelling is cut short by some magical animal/being turning up and just transporting them in a cutscene.. 4) considering that this is all about dragonlore the dragons sure aren’t as important in the end as the three macguffins of power. 5) i loved so much about kalyba but not where it led, that said i want a kalyba-hawthorn-nurtha backstory.   okay that’s it for now but like. idk. this had a lot of potential but the execution was just severely flawed. 2/5 

trust exercise, susan choi this was super hyped, especially for a game-changing twist of some kind, but has a rather low rating on goodreads (3.18!) so y’all know i was intrigued. i’m not going to give away the twist because it is genuinely really cool if not really all that original, but this is a really clever & cool book about theatre kids, teenage dramatics, constructing your own narrative and what that excludes, elides, changes, and most of all consent & abuse (some very triggering depictions of sex/sexual abuse here). i really liked this, and am considering buying a copy so i can reread it. 4/5

soldiers of salamis, javier cercas (tr. from spanish by anne mclean) very meta novel about a writer called javier cercas writing a book (tentatively called soldiers of salamis) about a (real) falangist poet who escaped a mass execution & survived in the forest for a while with a group of republican deserters. ‘cercas’ researches, speculates, despairs, talks to roberto bolano (who compliments his previous books lol), and finally tracks down the man who he believes/imagines/hopes to be the soldier who let said fascist poet go, leading him to consider who really should be remembered & written about. made me think about that one poem about reading ezra pount that ends w/ a veteran saying ‘if i knew a fascist was a great poet, i’d shoot him anyway.’ interesting book altho i far prefer his book anatomy of a moment, one of the weirdest & most fascinating nonfic books i’ve read. 3/5

the stopping places, damian le bas (audio) damian le bas comes from a settled british romani family and, feeling somewhat unsure about his place in & connection to the community, he decided to go on a roadtrip through britain (+france) in a van to seek out the atchin tans or stopping places, starting with the ones his great-grandmother remembers from her childhood before the family became settled. he combines the travelogue with insights into romani culture(s) (mainly british) and history, as well as his own family history. it’s really interesting & engaging (the history&culture more so than the travelogue) and le bas narrates the audiobook himself & sounds like a cool dude. 3.5/5

confessions of a bookseller, shaun bythell  bythell records a year of working as a second-hand bookseller, with an entry for every day. he talks about the impact of amazon, rude & weird customers (but also nice customers), his weird staff, and some of the books he’s reading. the look into bookselling in the age of amazon is pretty interesting but much of this is banal & repetitive, & if it wasn’t the perfect thing to read in little bits while at work i probably would have dnf’d it. 2/5

giacomo joyce, james..... joyce  super short story by my man jamesy joyce that never made it out of manuscript (literal). not much to say about this - it’s interesting to see jj play around with themes while still working on portrait & thinking bout ulysses & the prose is nice, but the whole english tutor feels attracted to his student is a bit... eh. 3/5