#pentagon fics

[takorossi]

rules (& regulations)

headcanons/imagines/scenarios/time stamps/drabbles/one-shots/etc. ✓

reader-insert ✓ my default is gn!reader but if you'd like me to do f!/m!reader please specify

member-member ✓ i might be pickier with m-m requests because if i don't see the ship it's gonna be difficult, but i'll mostly be okay as long as you don't expect a whole fic

sfw fanfic tropes (e.g. fluff, angst, crack, hurt/comfort, AU, major character death) ✓

suggestive ✓ full nsfw ✗ because i've never written that before, but basically think: those blackout scenes in rom movies but in written form — those are okay

hateful/offensive behaviour towards anybody especially with regards to race, ethnicity, religion ✗

stuff like non-con that actively promotes/encourages unethical behaviour ✗

if you want something specific, please be specific. if not, the caveat is your request is going to be up to my interpretation.

other than the hard-"no"s, i would generally be open to trying anything once so just shoot and i'll vet the requests from there. please hit me up if you would like to discuss any of my writing or just to chill. i'll come back to this post from time to time to update the rules as i see fit so yeah, you can check it whenever you want to send in a request.

tako x

28.3.23

[greenglowinspooks]

(DCXDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 5)

—

Tw: torture scene (GiW agent receiving), general angst, canon-typical violence (DC), nobody is having a good time

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Masterlist/subscription post)

—

It was pretty easy for Danny to forget that Dr. Crane was a rogue at times.

Most of the time he wasn’t comically evil, like what he’d expect of a Gotham rogue. He was helping Danny, even if only because he didn’t want to be taken in by the GiW as well. He was even downright nice most of the time, or at least neutral.

Sure, he had a strange obsession with fear and psychology, but that wasn’t really out of the ordinary for Danny. It didn’t feel like living with a rogue, just like…staying with a distant relative, or something.

He seemed like just an ordinary person.

Today, though, Danny was brought back to reality.

The GiW agent they’d tracked down together writhed on the ground, screaming in pain and terror. Scarecrow was sat a few feet away, setting up a syringe of the antidote he’d made.

After a few more moments, he injected the man with the antidote, watching him like a hawk the entire time.

Suddenly, the man surged forward, lunging at Scarecrow with a feral scream.

Unluckily for him, though, he was still weak from the fear toxin in his system, and from the beatings he’d received prior. Scarecrow easily wrestled him to the ground, settling himself on the broad part of the agent’s back with a vice grip on one of his arms.

“Let’s try again,” he said sharply, all of the warmth Danny had grown used to gone from his voice. “Where is the GiW base of operations?”

The agent took several shuddering breaths before spitting at Scarecrow, defiance and hatred written all over his face.

For just a moment, the room was utterly silent.

“Fine, have it your way.”

Scarecrow began to twist the man’s arm further. It wasn’t long before the agent began to squirm, then writhe, beneath him. Danny’s stomach churned.

“You know,” Scarecrow began, almost conversationally, “there are plenty of jobs that one can get without the use of their legs, especially with the level of education you have. Anything that doesn’t involve hard labor, really.”

The man’s face was beginning to turn red in his struggle not to scream. He took in gasping breaths, the way that his mouth moved almost reminding Danny of a goldfish.

(He felt awful for the comparison, but it was true.)

“However,” Scarecrow continued, “I find you’d be rather hard-pressed to find a job without the use of your arms. Especially in a place like Gotham, where you can always be replaced by someone eager to do your job for even less money. Of course, you could most likely coast off of savings and severance pay for a while, but…”

He leaned closer to the man’s head, his voice lowering.

“Would you be able to live like that? To live with yourself, if you no longer have a purpose?”

He allowed the agent a few seconds of rest before increasing the pressure on his arm. The agent gasped, letting out a strangled hiss. His arm bones were making fascinating noises in response to the strain. Danny felt sick.

“You seem like a rather driven young man. I’m sure your family would hate to see you unmotivated, directionless. Would they resent you, do you think?”

“Fuck you, you—”

The man was cut off by his own scream as Scarecrow finally allowed his arm to break, audibly splintering into thousands of useless shards of bone.

He had the exact pressure memorized. Clearly, he had done this before.

This was wrong. This was wrong.

Shouldn’t Danny step in, do something?

“That won’t heal cleanly. Even with the best medical care in the world, you’ll end up with permanent damage.”

The man below him wheezed and sobbed, choking on air as Scarecrow let go of his arm carelessly, letting it flop back onto the ground.

“Just the sort of thing something like you deserves,” Scarecrow hissed, his voice cold.

“You tortured a child, and you enjoyed it. You laughed with your friends about it. In your notes, one of your friends complained about the screaming,” Scarecrow brought his leg around, grinding his boot into the man’s broken arm. He howled in agony, writhing uncontrollably.

“Was it inconvenient to him, do you think? Too loud? If you were joking about it, clearly you thought so, too. I could fix that as well.”

He drew out another needle, this one once again filled with fear toxin.

“Scarecrow, wait,” Danny choked out.

Scarecrow turned to look at him.

Even his posture was different than usual. He looked… stiff, more like an animal than a man. When he tilted his head at Danny in a silent question, it looked like something in his neck had snapped, his head lolling to the side.

Danny wondered if he was consciously moving like that, or if it was habit at this point.

“You—we don’t have to do this. We can get information some other way, right? You don’t have to…”

Danny looked down at the GiW agent below Scarecrow. He didn’t even have it in him to glare up at Danny like he had before. Instead he laid limply on the ground, tremors rolling through his body uncontrollably.

“We’ve exhausted every other option and you know it,” Scarecrow said, his voice low, “this is the only way we can move forward.”

“Still, I—I don’t,” Danny swallowed, his throat tight, “this isn’t—this isn’t right. Isn’t there some other way to do this? Like—a truth serum, or something?”

“Truth serums are notoriously unreliable. They’re almost as bad as lie detectors. We’re much more likely to get a reliable result from this.”

Danny just stared at the GiW agent and his splintered, ruined arm. He began to weakly wriggle in Scarecrow’s grasp, which was graciously ignored.

He vaguely remembered himself doing the same thing when he was on the operating table; even if he knew there was no chance of escape, he still thrashed and screamed, desperate to get away. The jagged I-shaped incision on his torso felt uncomfortably warm.

What was there left to say?

“The Bat does the same thing at times, you know,” Scarecrow said, “him and the rest of his brood. By using my toxin, I’m actually lessening the amount of permanent damage that I’m doing. Physically.”

“Still, that doesn’t make it right,” Danny said desperately. “Even if—even if everyone in the world did this, it wouldn’t make it right.”

Scarecrow hummed.

They were both silent for a moment.

His next words were gentle, absurdly so when compared to the scene in front of him.

“I would love an alternative. But…”

He shrugged, hand coming to rest on the break in the GiW agent’s arm. Even without applying any pressure, the man stopped squirming immediately.

“There aren’t any other options,” Danny repeated, his voice flat and his body numb.

“Yes,” Scarecrow said. “I’m sorry.”

There was a pause. No one moved a muscle. Eventually Scarecrow spoke again, his voice strangely empty.

“You can stand outside and keep watch, if you’d like. At such a short distance their radars won’t pick us up.”

Danny said nothing, leaving the room silently.

He sat outside for quite a while.

He was grateful that Scarecrow had, with his help, dragged the agent to one of his previous hideouts. It was soundproofed, after all.

He was glad that he didn’t have to hear the rest of what Scarecrow did to the man.

After what felt like an eternity, Dr. Crane left the building, joining him outside. He guided Danny back to his beat up old truck and they drove home in silence.

“Did you at least…do you know where they are, now?” Danny asked as they entered the apartment, his voice small.

“They didn’t share the details of all of their locations with any one person. I know where one of their locations are, but not their main base of operations.”

Danny felt disgusted. With himself, with Dr. Crane, with the GiW.

He was disgusted by the agent, too. Did he just hate the restless dead so much that he would prefer to be tortured than to give them the upper hand? Did he really think he was in the right?

Was there a chance that he was?

Danny felt very, very small, and very stupid. Stupid and weak and cowardly.

“Danny,” Dr. Crane spoke, his voice soft.

“I’m truly sorry that this is happening to you. I really, truly wish that you didn’t have to endure my company. I…”

He fell quiet. Danny wondered if he was just saying this to pacify him, or if he truly meant it. He wondered if it really mattered in the end.

After a few moments of silence, Dr. Crane sighed, looking truly pained.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Danny was quiet.

“I’m going to bed early,” he finally said, turning away and leaving without a second glance.

—

[chanyouchan]

⌕ terreno

⚠ em caso de inspiração, me credite.

📆 14/08/24 | ✎ @mnini (psd)

[umbrellajam]

Anyway, as I'm going back and reading a period during which the Teen Titans and other heroes were highly visible and active with the public, including Batman to a certain extent, and with camera!Tim and the idea of reconciling incompatible timelines on my mind -

I feel like the camera!Tim fanon where Tim follows Batman and Robin around in person for years could be (among other things, such as wanting him to interact with/admire Jason and encounter/join the Batfam early, etc.) partially a result of the retcon that B&R are shadowy, unconfirmed urban legends, and not public figures. Even for people who haven't read this retcon in the comics themselves, the "B&R as urban legends" world-state is still very popular, well-known, and often used in fic and fandom.

So during the 1994 Zero Hour event, there were a bunch of time anomalies and various adjustments to the canon, including (re-)establishing Batman (and Robin) as a hushed, menacing ~rumor~, more phantom and myth than man, as a matter of Bat policy. No public appearances. No clear photos, no hard facts.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #0

Batman: Shadow of the Bat #0

We even have Dick relaying a slightly tweaked version of his origin, implying that Batman did not swoop down and publicly comfort Dick Grayson in the circus ring after his parents' murder (as was shown to have happened in Batman: Year Three and A Lonely Place of Dying back in 1989 - and which served as the initial reason Tim started admiring Batman!), and in fact Dick "...didn't believe the stories about the Batman" until months after he moved into the Manor, when Bruce told him the truth and showed him the Cave:

Robin (1993) #0

And of course the many subsequent instances afterwards of the existence of Batman, Robin, Nightwing, etc. all being kept on the down-low:

Young Justice (1998) #52-53 - Tim creating his Mr. Sarcastic guise to avoid being on-camera as Robin.

Detective Comics (Vol. 1) #727 - Bullock and Montoya being true Gothamite bros to the Bats.

And many more, etc.

All of this is obviously incompatible with the prior era and many events where Batman and Robin were very well documented as heroes, including Tim's origin in Batman: Year Three and ALPoD, as mentioned above.

As Tim related, he followed them mainly in various news media, and it was in fact on TV that he fatefully saw Robin's quadruple flip, years later:

Batman (Vol. 1) #441

By contrast, the 2016 recap of Tim's origin in A Lonely Place of Living, which restored his pre-Flashpoint backstory, does have Batman appearing at the circus again, and even taking Dick with him, but it doesn't include anything about Tim following Batman and Robin in the news, clipping articles, etc. It doesn't even mention when or how Tim saw Robin performing Dick Grayson's quadruple somersault in order to piece things together:

Detective Comics (2016) #965

But okay, if Batman and Robin were subsequently retconned into shadowy urban legends that didn't regularly appear in newspapers or on TV, how do we reconcile that with Tim's backstory as a fan who stalked followed them super closely?? His creepy cute scrapbook of newspaper clippings and Moment of Revelation from watching them on TV can't exist in the same form anymore, it's incompatible.

We can fudge an in-universe explanation covering most of the retcon, like it was a policy change that Batman instituted early in Tim's Robin tenure, and say Oracle went back and scrubbed photos, videos, records etc. from existence. We'd probably have to lean into the sliding timescale of comics and pretend all of this happened in a more digital era, though, because otherwise there are all of those pesky physical records...

We can cover the gaps by handwaving that the 'shadowy urban legends' cloak of secrecy was never foolproof, and hard evidence of B&R's existence did exist here and there, but was limited and hard to find. This jives fairly well with the actual 'urban legend' era post-Zero Hour; they couldn't avoid being witnessed or interacting with people all the time. Kid Tim would just have to do more involved digging than snipping articles out of the daily paper. Maybe the hidden security camera footage of Robin's flip that was shown on the evening news was much more shadowy and ambiguous than in canon, and it's because of Tim's special interest that he was even able to recognize B&R, and what was going on? I like this one, personally.

But alternatively. We do know that he followed Batman in person and took pictures at least in Batman #440. We're pretty sure that he had to have followed Dick/the Titans around in New York before, given that he'd memorized the Titans' schedules and knew the locations of both Kory's and Dick's apartments (also Batman #440; Tim, pls...).

It seems like extending these instances into a more regular pattern of Tim following the Bats around, and gathering photo evidence for his scrapbook by taking pictures himself, and witnessing Robin!Dick's flip in person, is one possible way to reconcile the inconsistency. And one even more likely to be used by people with only more general fandom knowledge, who are used to the 'urban legend' world-state but want to have Tim stalking the Bats at length anyway. (Which, along with New 52 Tim, is part of how we get baby super-hacker and electronic stalker extraordinaire Tim fanon, as well, I'm sure.)

[allys-fairlylocal]

TYLER ACKNOWLEDGED THE FOREST FIC EVERYONE SCATTER

[jinnxks]

?

[suffarustuffaru]

i need to share my very horrible idea to combine the reinhard/julius/otto/subaru boy drama into one julius-centric fic

ok so a little while ago ive made all kinds of ottojuli and reinjuli posts and while i havent finished all my major julisuba posts Yet i am quite fond of julisuba also and i think itd be incredibly funny if you just dumped all of these ships into one story. just go ALL IN on that boy drama!!!! go big or go home amirite!!!! the worlds WORST love trapezoid youve ever seen!!!!

this post is just me rambling fic ideas bc i sadly dont have time for Every Fic Idea and also i just. i just think itd be funny putting multiple ships with the same person in them into one fic. on a serious level its like mimicking real life relationships where sometimes people come and go and you have different dynamics with each person!! on another level i just think this is also very funny so!! here we go. under the cut:

anyway so my idea for this is that you know, julius of course meets reinhard when hes ten and reinhard is eight and then it alters julius's brain chemistry. at first he's in complete awe of reinhard. and then over time the shame starts setting in. that julius isnt as strong as reinhard. and the jealousy sets in a bit too, so julius's got this chip in his shoulder trying to carry his family's legacy and trying to carry the weight of knighthood to be as perfect as possible. to be as close to reinhard as he can. they meet again in their teens and julius shows reinhard the ropes of like basic knight stuff bc reinhard just joined the knights. and of course reinjuli become friends but julius has spent his whole life quietly watching reinhard from afar and now julius still has that distance with reinhard even as theyre supposedly friends now. reinhard is a God, you know? his powers and his leash from the kingdom and his family keep him distant and the two of them are ignoring that. classic homoerotic "do i want him or want to be him" friendship where both of you are too scared to get any closer for various reasons with a Twist (reinhard's very real monster complex that keeps getting validated bc Everyone Around Him thinks hes a monster).

anyway but then julius remembers that you know, shit between reinhard and him wont work out for many reasons, like reinhards family deciding to torment julius at various points in his life (heinkel, whos julius's boss, and reid, who went from julius's childhood idol to. you know.), and also reinhard needs to have kids because hes the sword saint, and also homophobia exists in rezero. and also even if those werent all obstacles julius still has his Complexes connected to reinhard and they got that distance between them so. no go. (repression gets in the way of relationships :((( )

also quick side note is that ex 4 happens and julius reinhard ferris go to vollachia and julius interrupts a meeting with vincent vollachia himself to go "I UNDERSTOOD THAT LITERARY REFERENCE YOU JUST MADE. THATS A REALLY GOOD REFERENCE I LIKED IT A LOT" bc hes a massive nerd and ig this is slightly-more-of-a-disaster-gay julius au so julius is like ............................. vincent was kinda cool for that.

AND THEN SUBARU CRASHES INTO JULIUS'S LIFE and julius is like seeing this guy who's also got a chip in his shoulder and then he insults the knights and says the knights are all depending on their dads (nepotism) and julius is like .......the chip in my shoulder was bad enough and also youre kinda like me fr. and you are clearly a fucking misguided kid so now i have to save your ass. i cant NOT save your ass. and reinhards like "julius and subaru nooo you dont have to do this :((((" and julius cant admit atm that hes also doing this to save subarus life so julius is just like "he disrespected the knights >:(((("

but yes we all know what happened there. julius saves subarus life. julius has to slice subarus throat in that one failed loop. they become friends across several timelines. they also homoerotically share souls, you know, typical bromance things, rivals to lovers except subarus the one going YOURE MY RIVAL and julius is like he is SUCH an upstart. hes really grown on me like a fungus but thats the appeal. and julius i think sees subaru as like a kindred spirit (or at least thats how i interpret julisuba) except subaru is like way more freer than julius is. same desire to prove yourself but subarus not restraining himself constantly like julius. its sometimes to the point of recklessness and general stupidity and what have you, but his boldness and bravery and determination and heart really is admirable.........................

yeah so anyway julius falls for ANOTHER guy again, you know how it is sometimes. the heart wants what it wants and julius is cursed to always have the worst meetings with his closest friends. and of course julius gets heartbroken bc wtf i have to kill my new friend :((( noo!!!! but in the finished loop its like. oh subaru...... hes really improved himself. hes grown so much already. hes kind of. inspirational really. idk how he does it. except subarus you know got that Mystery to him the same way reinhard does (theyre traumatized and Cant Take About It Normally so they just randomly lore drop what they can) and also subarus SUPER into emilia. and julius is like .................... well. subarus taken. haha. and reinhards. taken. fuck me. fuck. and like somethings going on with subaru and rem and emilia right. fuck. and subarus got his whole toxic masculinity / gender crisis..... and he doesnt know hes Bisexual yet...... man. what a loss for julius amirite haha.

and also subarus busy after arc 3........... and julius has no idea whats happening there but that seems Real serious :(( and julius's got other things to attend to so he hopes subaru reaches out to him eventually..... or that they cross paths again since subarus in the emilia camp and julius is in ana camp (and of course reinhard is in felt camp and like that was a whole debacle bc wtf. reinhard, u do know thatd be a big deal to our mutual friend felix?). so. julius pines from afar ONCE AGAIN HAHA.

(also of course subarus still attracted to reinhard here. its um. well julisuba can bond now over pining over reinhard but thats for later also!!)

anyway of course during arc 3 julius briefly runs into some gray haired merchant twink thats being dragged around by subaru bc ana camp rescued this guy from a cave somewhere??? and this new guy and subaru made a deal or whatever so he was just helping out in the background of the fight against sloth??

and whaddya know................ julius goes to drink at a bar bc you know he probably tastes wine for fun in his free time (hes definitely Fond of wine anyway iirc) and now hes Sad over the Ones That Got Away so. bar it is. and gray haired merchant twink is there!! no way. they start talking a bit casually while drinking you know and julius's taste is Unfortunately either the graceful ones (anastasia, because julius has great taste in women) or the cringe fail ones (all the twinks - except for felix - that julius keeps having the wildest first meetings with, because julius has slightly shit taste in men) so julius is like huh this otto guys kinda funny lol. endearing in a weird way!! and -

oops they both end up being a little. they make a little bit of a move on each other. bc they were drinking and got a Bit tipsy. ottos Also not over the one that got away (subaru) (again) and hey. the finest knight truly is. Fine. objectively fine. totally. so you know. things get a little out of hand, maybe they do a bit of cringe fail flirting hidden underneath five million layers of repression and the Horrors of Being Known but ultimately they both embarrass themselves somehow (read: how far they went with each other while under the influence is up to you) and agree to Never Speak of This Again bc oopsies they were both technically each other's first time being Straightforwardly Not Straight with another man. oops. anyway julius has to go back to his camp and otto fucking bolts but he bolts right into subaru and gets his ass dragged into sanctuary drama.

julius is totally not a little bit envious about that.................... about otto getting to accompany subaru to sanctuary... but dont worry julius!! youll get to make up for it later!! bc eventually arc 5 stuff happens. and julius is Glad to see reinhard and subaru again. even with all the Baggage. and subaru is of course Weird about julius but eventually subaru reassures julius after they both confide in each other about the astrea drama (theyre honorary astreas via being dragged into the astrea family mess). and subarus reassuring to julius in a whole new way okay. subaru, whos unrestrained and incapable of being on the down low about anything, and julius, whos always holding himself back with a gazillion layers of repression, starts learning to let go a bit...

but also juliotto meet again. its terribly awkward and they both agreed to never speak of their awkward encounters again. subaru is going ??? and reinhard is clueless. otto then also goes to save reinhard and felt from heinkel trying to take felt hostage, which was also terribly awkward but reinhard and felt are grateful about it (but lbr if reinhard and otto knew each other deeper reinhard would maybe be a little. Apprehensive. around otto while otto would be sympathetic with reinhard bc hes like male emilia). but then while otto manages not to get erased by gluttony....... julius gets erased. of course. which you know results in being forgotten by reinhard in julius's THIRD first meeting ever with reinhard. and subarus the only one who remembers him of course.

then arc 6 happens :,))))) and julius of course has to confront his ideas of knighthood, his identity, his self esteem, and who he is outside of His Name. and also julius gets his ass beat by reid. his childhood idol. who reinhard KNEW was a shitty person but never ever told julius (whether this is because reinhard wanted to spare julius's hero worship or because reinhard never got the chance to tell julius is hard to say lajdsf). but julius does get to triumphantly win in the end!! grow as a person!!! learn to undo a bit of that repression and not hold himself to impossible standards all the time!! hes growing still!!! hes finally solidified his friendships with people like subaru and emilia!! hes remaking his relationship with anastasia!! hes asserted himself, hes planning on going to meet reinhard again one day and duel him!! things are looking up even if its still bittersweet that he doesnt have his name back yet!! does this mean?? perhaps?? a HAPPY ENDING?? julius can have the two men (reinhard and subaru) he admires the most in his life?????? as friends???? or as boyfriends?????? slowburn mutual pining????????????????????????????????????????

and then comes. arc 8 otto. that piece of shit.

julius is very much someone who has to grapple with the weight of the expectations that people throw at him. and also reinhard is someone who May envy julius a bit, but there's also you know, joshua and subaru with the Explicit Envy and (past) resentment because theyre placing heavy expectations on julius!! theyre pointing blame at julius!! julius is trying to find himself outside of stuff like that, especially after arc 6, but he's still got stuff to work on you know? he still has duties to fulfill!! loyalty that he has to act on bc hes gotta help subaru and co in arc 8!! and then in comes otto.

otto is also someone with expectation placed on him, but its Different. ottos mostly a nobody and when hes Not a nobody, his reputation tends to be Derogatory. hes a menace. hes a bad luck charm. hes grappling with the fact that he has to keep being left behind - post-arc 5 bc he was injured, but also repeatedly during arcs 7 and 8 because hes too physically weak to be on the same playing field as emilia or garfiel or subaru on the battlefield. he feels Useless after placing his identity on the expectation that hes Dependable and Useful.

julius is a bit more on even ground with otto now that julius is. also mostly a nobody bc his name is still gone. and also julius had to deal with having that part of his identity crushed. julius tried to be useful over and over in arc 6 only to get his ass repeatedly curb stomped by reid in the beginning. he was a nobody. he wasnt dependable anymore. and also otto is that one guy he had a Passing Fling with over having The Ones Who Got Away and julius was still vaguely hopeful about maybe being pals at least but ottos brushed him off a bit since arc 5. theyre like each others secrets you know? and now otto doesnt know that shit - julius is the only one who Knows - and otto also hates julius's fucking guts now. over SUBARU. and julius has been through this whole rodeo clown circus with arc 3 subaru so this is an absolutely terrible ride through memory lane.

and this is julius's THIRD twink that hates him for terribly unfair reasons. julius is very tired and a bit heartbroken in this au trying to pretend it doesnt bother him. on one level it doesnt. bc ottos pathetic and clearly Overcompensating for Something. on another level it kinda does bc julius had a Thing going with otto. and otto is the complete opposite of julius. like hes different from the other guys julius has liked.

julisuba is about complimentary opposites - they appear Extremely Different at first glance but theyre very similar. theyre people who try to look and act bigger than they are, people who keep reaching to be The Best, to be Perfect, because theyre overcompensating. theyre worried their entire identity is only built off of trying to be bigger than the shadow that other people in their lives (like their families) cast. but they cant reach perfection. and julius is like subaru but if subaru tried to really make himself "refined" - if he tried to stop putting his heart on his sleeve all the time. reinsuba are very similar too. theyre very refined knights who try to keep themselves in check at all times while the weight of the world is on their shoulders. they cant have a hair out of place. except julius is like the "smaller" version of reinhard. julius is less powerful. its like comparing a human and a "god" - reinhard, whos untouchable. but its a double edged sword, because julius gets to be a normal person, because half the expectation placed on him is also purely from himself, while reinhard isnt. reinhard isnt Free. hes on a leash by the kingdom and his family. julius even gets his kind of "celebrity" status stolen from him via the loss of his name. hes truly kind of Normal now - julius is like if reinhard didnt have his crazy abilities and had a little more of a chance to be free.

otto? yeah otto is. very very far from all of that. hes so obviously imperfect that most of his reputation, when its brought up, is just him being known as a mess who's caused various forms of chaos everywhere he goes. either that or hes just. There. Invisible. very very average. and otto is someone who wants a nice comfortable life, someone who wants to fit in - julius and subaru arent Exactly like that, and while reinhard also wants to be normal, ottos the one who has more of an opportunity. but he doesnt. because otto Dooms Himself by being recklessly cutthroat. otto is like if subaru was just. More of an asshole, so ottojuli would just be a rather Extreme Challenge for julius to have to deal with HAH. and normally otto is someone who repays how people treat him - a very "you treat me like this, i'll treat you the same way in turn" kind of deal, except ottos developed a vendetta against julius and its basically like if subaru never let go of his arc 3 julius vendetta.

yes so anyway. etc etc stuff probably happens but i ran out of ideas lajdlfjasdf i just think combining ALL the boy drama and recontextualizing + adding to canon would be. batshit crazy. and terribly entertaining. im so sorry julius but i want to see you crack a bit under the pressure. reinjuli as a ship is like tragic gay yearning that never goes anywhere past being friends with quiet homoerotic tension, then julisuba is. you know. extreme rivals to lovers, starts out Rough but then ends up being super super sweet and theyre Trying their best underneath the self esteem issues. and then ottojuli is. toxic yaoi at its finest (pun intended). you get Every flavor of mlm possible!!

ok so you may be asking "ok what would you even name this fic then" and to that i say that this would be called To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

anyway i really wanna write this idea someday ill inform you guys (if youre reading this and are Interested) if it ever happens :< so. in conclusion this is just julius the entire time throughout all of these events:

[blizzardfluffykpop]

12 days of Winter Year #7

Groups you can request for are MONSTA X, PENTAGON, SEVENTEEN, and Xdinary Heroes. 

To request, pick a prompt and a member from one of the groups listed above, and the specific reader you want it for (if not specified, I’ll make it gender neutral). Also, I do not take requests for smut.

Completed stories will be posted every odd numbered day of December!

Update: All prompts have been written so they are no longer strikethrough!

Please request!!!

“I’ll light the fire; you place the stockings on the mantle.” 

Building a snowman together 

“If I give you this peppermint kiss, will you give me a real one?” 

A Winter Postcard that reads, “Meet me in ____” (You choose the destination!)

“Your mom made me a gift?” “Yeah, you’re a part of the family now.” 

Cooking Christmas dinner together for your friends

“After sledding, do you want to have hot cocoa at the lodge?” 

(Bias) giving you frosted flowers

“Mistletoe… my arch enemy”

A Holiday Dress Up Party 

“Snowball fight!” 

Make your own prompt!

[restlessmaknae]

restlessmaknae's request event [guide]

Celebrating 6 years on Tumblr and a number of followers I thought I would never reach, I would like to repay you for your love and support in the form of a request event. Writing is a hobby of mine that allows me to escape, to push my boundaries, and to leave an impact on readers. Even if you crack a smile, laugh at the words or feel understood by them, I'm truly honoured that you've joined me on this journey. 💞

Now, onto the good stuff.

As voted by you, readers, in a previous poll of mine, you can request stories based on genres, settings, but you can also throw a prompt into the mix.

HOW DOES THAT WORK?

You send me an ask with a genre and/or setting and a certain idol in mind, but you can add a prompt from these lists as well (they might help with certain settings):

Prompt list #1: Enemies to lovers but one is injured

Prompt list #2: Prompts for ex-lovers

Prompt list #3: Sacred romantic moments

Prompt list #4: Hurt comfort starters

Prompt list #5: "I HATE YOU, BUT I JUST DID SOMETHING TO HELP YOU AND NOW I NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF" prompts

Here are some examples:

best friends to lovers with Jake (Enhypen)

prince!Intak (P1Harmony) in a fantasy kingdom

zombie apocalypse au with Serim (Cravity) + enemies to lovers

[prompt] with Hyunsuk (CIX)

[prompt] with Hyunsuk (CIX) + exes to lovers

[prompt] with Hyunsuk (CIX) + exes to lovers + murder mystery

RULES

Smaus, bulleted stories and reaction stories can't be requested

I don't write smut, and if I feel uncomfortable by your request, I have the right to reject it and not write it

Only member x reader/OC, no member x member stories can be requested (you can specify if you want a gender-neutral reader insert story, otherwise I write female!reader stories)

I decide on how long the story will be, but I plan on writing stories less than 5k for this event (so expect drabbles and one-shots)

There's no deadline by which I plan on posting your story, it depends on how much time I have beside my full-time job and how much inspiration I have for your requested story - so please, bear with me, I'll get around to it as soon as I can 🥰

One user can request up to 2 stories - for tagging reasons, I kindly ask you to let me know about the blog you want me to tag in case you would write the ask on anon (for instance, if your main blog isn't kpop-related, you can write on anon and tell me your kpop sideblog's URL/username)

I close the requests after receiving 12 requests or by 30th September - whichever comes first

I will combine all the requests into a masterlist as soon as they start coming in, so you know that I've received your message

BANDS/ARTISTS YOU CAN MAKE REQUESTS FOR:

A.C.E

ATEEZ

CIX

CRAVITY

ENHYPEN

EPEX

GOLDEN CHILD

NCT (Mark, Johnny, Jaehyun, Doyoung, all of WayV)

ONEUS

P1HARMONY

PENTAGON

SF9

THE BOYZ

TXT

VERIVERY

VICTON

WEI

Soloists: Kang Daniel, Woodz, Demian, Ong Seungwoo, Park Jihoon

If you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask me!

Otherwise, enjoy the event and request to your heart's content! 🥰

Tagging everyone on my taglist in case you would be interested in requesting (some I couldn't tag, unfortunately): @dat-town, @stories-inbetween-the-stars, @koishua, @tranquilpetrichor, @americanokisses, @effulgentfireflies, @kuleo26, @wccycc, @littlestartonightsposts, @squiishymeow, @sunooslover, @heyditseeey, @syrxiee2, @tsunchani, @hyunjinswife, @sweetjaemss, @laaylaaz, @fvrteez, @chaeryeongs-wife, @hyu-won, @bamboongi, @kyusqult, @chang-ryul, @winterbeartaehyungbestboy, @i2kittenz, @miafox117, @hannieyooon, @soobin-chois, @ishuayou

[the-everqueen]

may i enquire about lucienne’s day off for wip wednesday, please?

so this fic is in answer to your V day prompt, actually! i'm very excited about it and last month it was my "comfort" wip, i.e. the one i defaulted to when words felt hard. eventually Luce is gonna take Coco on walkies. mirrors work both ways. :)

...

“Where would we go?” Her voice comes out weak.

“Wherever you like,” he says. “Although…”

“Yes?”

“There is a retrospective of Nakahira Takuma’s work at the MOMAT.”

Damn him. He knows her interest in photography. He also must know she just finished organizing their collection of Takuma’s amnesia dreams, which had of course disappeared during Morpheus’ absence and only recently reappeared in another, unrelated section (Toru Takemitsu’s orchestral compositions from the 1980s). Photographs are different, in dreams. Both more and less definite, relevant details brought to the fore whether or not they’re the subject, all the weight of nostalgia with none of the camera’s stark eye. Lucienne has spent hours comparing Takuma’s dreams to the Library’s copies of his post-recovery work, trying to identify the commonalities between them. If asked, she would say that her duties encompass reference and research, in addition to curation.

She has not seen a photograph in the Waking since—well, since humans invented the technology. Morpheus took her to an exhibition.

[jae-bummer]

My Idol 3: Part Seven

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Saturday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in a specific mission to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what four idols will move on to the second date.

My Idol 3: The Series

.

Looking up moodily at your night shift body guard, you waited in silence for him to open your room.

"No hello?" Insu teased, tilting his head. "How was your day? I've missed you terribly?"

"Hello, Insu," you grumbled, crossing your arms. "How was your day? I have missed you terribly."

"Well," he clucked. "It doesn't sound genuine when I have to prompt you."

"Can I please just go inside?" you whined, rubbing your forehead to ease the oncoming headache.

"Sure," he nodded. Letting the tension ease from your shoulders, you took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves. "But it'll cost you."

"I have a sneaking suspicion that you're not talking about money," you groaned.

"Not at all," he smiled easily. "Money's worthless. You're time, however, is valuable."

"What do you want?"

"Grab your ice bucket," he said gently. "Let's go for a walk."

"I don't want to go for a walk," you pouted. "I've walked enough today. And ridden a bike. And fallen off that bike. And then thought my date died."

Insu nodded politely. "I think you need to decompress."

"I'm perfectly capable of decompressing in the comfort of my bed," you muttered.

"Where you can thought spiral through every hypothetical way you could have reacted on your date?" he smirked. "Perfect idea. Have a great night!"

"You're a little too perceptive for your own good," you grumbled. "Has anyone ever told you that before?"

"I read people for a living, Y/N," sighed. "You're just one of the lucky ones I like."

"I don't see why," you lamented, not proud of yourself, but searching for solace nonetheless. "I'm a walking disaster."

"Hardly," he said, tapping your room key against the door. Shouldering it open, he waited for you to pass him and go in. "Now come on. I'll even give you five minutes for a bathroom break before I expect to see you back out here."

Sliding into your room, you glanced at him over your shoulder. "How charitable."

After spending at least ten minutes sat on the sink, totally not thought spiraling, Insu's fourth round of knocking finally pushed you to hop off the counter. Snagging the ice bucket from beside you, you shuffled back toward the door and yanked it open. Chewing on your lip, you narrowed your eyes at the dastardly man.

"That was much longer than five minutes."

"Should've come in after me," you sighed, breezing past him. "What if I had passed out on the toilet? Some body guard you are."

"I'm here to protect you from other people," he chuckled. "Not from yourself."

"Comforting," you deadpanned. "I'll remember that the next time I feel faint."

The two of you walked down the hallway in companionable silence for a moment, giving you time to let your eyes wander from door to door. You were curious who was hidden where and if they were all comfortable with the current arrangements. Now you had three men, three celebrities, locked up for what could be weeks. They'd be missing crucial schedules, studio time, and dance practices...all because of you.

"You have no control over what fans do," Insu said quietly, seeming to have read your mind.

"Get out of my head," you huffed, glaring over your shoulder at him.

"I don't have to be in your head to know you're going through it," he hummed. "I can tell by your body language."

"Please, enlighten me," you sighed, coming to a halt and spinning toward him. "What is my body saying?"

You tried to ignore the up and down assessment he gave you.

"Your shoulders are tense," he noted. "You're either chewing on your lip or the inside of your cheek at any give time. Your arms are wrapped so tightly around the ice bucket, you-"

"Okay, okay," you accepted. "Apparently my body is talkative. I get it."

Turning back around, you started your trek again.

"I'm here to listen," Insu prompted from behind you. "If you want to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about," you alleged. "Plus I'm sure Hyuk gave you the full report."

"I did have to set three of his fingers," Insu confessed. "But he didn't get into specifics."

Whirling around again, your eyes were wide. "He didn't go to the hospital?"

"Not if he can avoid it," he smirked. "It's kind of the nature of the business."

"Great," you gasped, throwing your hands in the air, ice bucket included. "So I've been the cause for two people's physical injuries, my apartment being torn apart, AND everyone being held up in hotel rooms like some kind of fancy prison."

"Hey," Insu said quietly, taking slow steps to close the distance between the two of you. You hadn't noticed it previously, but you were breathing heavily and tears may or may not have started to escape your eyes.

Placing his hands lightly on your shoulders, he slid his fingers carefully down to your elbows and then back up again. "You're not responsible for any of that."

"I am," you whined. You were on the brink of becoming a blubbering mess. "I'm the unlikable one. Fans don't like me. That's why all of this is happening. I'm supposed to be better. I'm supposed to be more deserving."

"Come here," Insu said gruffly, pulling you against him. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he placed a hand gently on the back of your head. "With the fan-bases these guys have, no one will ever be good enough. It's not personal."

"They made it personal," you squeaked into his suit. While you weren't proud of your breakdown, you were enjoying the unexpected safety Insu provided. "They took away everything."

"They didn't," he insisted. "They can't take away how you react to the situation, and you've been doing well. Better than anyone can expect, really."

Pulling away from him, you caught Insu's eyes. "Why are you being so sweet?"

"I can't comfort a friend in need?" he smiled, patting your head absently before stepping back.

"We're friends?" you chirped, quietly pleased by this development.

"I guess we are," Insu hummed, seeming surprised by his own words.

You smiled softly at him, allowing this new, bubbly feeling to float through you. If not watched carefully, you knew it could be dangerous, and you already had enough boy-related problems on your hands.

"Y/N?" a familiar voice questioned from behind you.

Turning around, you couldn't help but feel the moment between you and Insu had been snuffed out. You were only mildly horrified with yourself as you felt a slight disappointment at another person joining the conversation until you realized who it was.

"Jungkook!" you grinned. It took everything in you not to greet him with a big hug.

He seemed to have no qualms though.

"Y/N!" he breathed, an easy smile filling his face. Crossing the hallway, he pulled you in for a hug. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he tucked you into his frame, enveloping you in warmth.

"It's so good to see you," he whispered into your hair.

"It's good to see you too," you sighed, leaning back to get a better look at him, but remaining in his arms. He looked as handsome as ever.

Clearing his throat behind you, Insu made his presence abundantly clear.

Stepping away from Jungkook, you felt heat creep up your neck. You glanced behind Jungkook, his won bodyguard giving an awkward wave.

"Sorry," Jungkook winced, nodding briefly to Insu. Focusing on you again, he grinned. "How are you?"

"I've been better," you admitted. "I'm hoping they filled you in when they moved you here?"

"A little bit," he grimaced. "Y/N, I am so sorry. I can't believe anyone would do that, let alone someone who would call themselves a fan of any of us."

"They killed my fish," you blurted, not realizing how much that thought burdened you.

"What?" he gasped, his eyes growing wide. He pulled you in for another hug. "You've been through so much."

"Y/N," Insu grunted behind you. "It's best we get going."

"Right," you nodded, stepping away from Jungkook. If the producers saw the two of you fraternizing in the hallway, it likely wouldn't go over well.

"I'm glad I saw you," Jungkook nodded, eyes bright. "Even if it was only for a minute."

You smirked before glancing to your feet. "I didn't get to ask, but you're doing okay?"

"I'm doing great," he chimed. "I've gotten more sleep than I have in years. And three meals a day! Can you even imagine?"

You let out an unexpected laugh. "That's a relief to hear. I'm glad you're resting well."

"So are the other guys," he nodded, somehow knowing that would comfort you. "Just to clarify. We're all taking this in stride."

"You've talked to them?" you asked, tilting your head.

"Hongseok and I get meals together downstairs sometimes," he said, an idea lighting up his expression. "You should meet with us!"

"Y/N," Insu cautioned. His quiet reminder that you've dallied too long.

"We should," you agreed before squeezing his bicep lightly. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay," Jungkook hummed, giving the cutest nose scrunch.

Taking a deep breath, you continued down the hallway past him, willing yourself not to look back. You hadn't realized how reassuring his presence would be. He was the only one who hadn't really been privy to the nightmare this experience had become, so it was such a relief to touch base. Plus he confirmed that he and Hongseok were doing just fine. You hoped he would begin including San in their shared meals as well.

Walking into the ice room in a bit of a daze, it took you a moment to realize how quiet Insu was being.

Turning to look at him as you filled your bucket, you were surprised when he didn't make eye contact. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said shortly.

"Apparently not," you chuckled nervously, feeling his mood change rolling off him in waves.

"We wasted too much time," he muttered. "We could've both gotten in trouble."

"It was just a quick conversation," you reasoned. "It wasn't really a big deal."

"Every minute you are outside of the safety of your room is a big deal," he said, glaring.

"Whoa," you winced, tucking your now full ice bucket back under your arm. "Down, tiger."

"I'm not going to endanger you just so some celebrity can get in his five minutes," he grumbled, looking anywhere but at you. "I'm sure that little stunt added quite the points in his favor."

"Insu," you whispered, recoiling from him as if you had been slapped. "Jungkook isn't like that."

"Right," he scoffed, turning around and leading you back into the hall.

Normally you walked in front of your body guard, but this time, he was stomping in front of you.

What was his issue?

Was he...jealous?

"Someone got really grumpy, rather quickly," you muttered, arriving at your door. Stepping in your way, Insu glared down at you.

"Just watch yourself, okay?" he said sternly. "These guys sell a fantasy every day. They're good at it."

"Heaven forbid someone genuinely likes me," you huffed.

"I didn't say they couldn't," he shot back. "All I'm saying is-"

"Yeah, yeah," you groaned. "Poor little Y/N, manipulated by the heart throb. I get it."

"Y/N," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's not what I'm saying at all."

"Then come out with it!" you gasped. This day had been far too long and complicated for your liking. You were ready to hide under your blankets and never come out.

"I care about your well being!" he burst, his hands curling into fists as he let them drop to his sides. "I don't want to see you hurt!"

You chewed on his comment for a moment, watching as he continued to stare at you, frustration painted across his handsome face. "Why, Insu?"

"I told you earlier, I like you, Y/N," he struggled. "You don't want to see people you favor falling into situations where they're not watching out for themselves."

"You said you couldn't protect me from myself," you said quietly. "Remember?"

Insu let out a small grunt. "Stubborn."

"Exhausted," you corrected. "Thoroughly done. Burned out. Let me into my room."

Smacking your room's key card against the keypad, Insu backed into door. Keeping it open wide as you walked past, you could feel his eyes boring into you from behind.

"Goodnight," you huffed.

Without saying a word, he stepped into the hallway, closing the door softly behind him.

..

Your next date wasn't until the following evening, giving you plenty of time to stew in your disaster of a date, the situation with Insu, and the small rendezvous with Jungkook. Saying you were confused and irritable was an understatement.

You were already in the thick of things with three different idols and had four more to go. You couldn't go throwing Insu into the situation when your heart and mind were completely disoriented. You had never navigated anything quite this intense in your life.

Jungkook had pure intentions, of that you were sure. That's why Insu's outburst had shaken you so much. He didn't know anything about these guys, and it was clear in the way he was acting. That being said, you couldn't help that it had sewed the smallest seed of doubt in your mind. He was right, idols were well-versed in giving the illusion of attainability. Surely they weren't putting on an act just to win the competition...were they? The cameras weren't even around when you had bumped into Jungkook. He had no reason to be so caring if that were the case.

"Damnit, Insu," you hissed, knowing this would dwell in the back of your head. How dare he open that door when you were already feeling like you were going crazy.

Lost in thought, you yanked open the door of your hotel room right after you heard a knock. Hyuk had dropped you off for makeup and hair not long ago with the promise of your date starting soon. It was going to be a formal evening, so you were dressed exceptionally well (at least to your own standards). Shimmying out your shoulders, you tried to focus on the task at hand. You would have fun tonight, even if it killed you.

Glancing up from your uncomfortable shoes, you were taking aback at seeing Insu again so quickly.

"What are you doing here?" you croaked, unintentionally sounding annoyed by his mere presence.

Insu's eyebrows shot up. "This is an evening date. Am I not your night shift bodyguard?"

Right. Somehow it had completely evaded you that he would be the one escorting you this evening.

"Perfect," you muttered, shaking your head. This was just great.

Barging your way around him, you started down the hall, trying to calm your anxiety. It was hard enough jumping into another blind date, let alone with your moody body guard in tow.

Stepping into the elevator, you scooted as far away from him as you could. Maybe it was a bit immature, but you were emotionally frazzled before you had even blown up at each other last night. It was to be expected that you were still a little bit raw.

Punching at the button for the lobby, Insu became a statue beside you. Remaining quiet, it wasn't until the end of the elevator ride that he finally spoke up. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," you managed, not allowing for his kind words to melt the ice that had frozen around you.

"Y/N," he sighed, turning slightly toward you. "Surely you can understand where I was coming from-"

"Doubling down is not the optimal move here," you grumbled, holding up a hand in the air between you. "I'm trying to get into a good mental space to handle this date. I really don't want to talk about last night."

"Can we talk later?" he asked, tilting his head.

"No."

"Y/N-"

"I'll think about it," you groaned. "Okay? Just give me some space for tonight."

Giving a curt nod, Insu stepped back into his position beside you.

It wasn't long before the elevator doors slid open, exposing you to the commotion that was the hotel lobby. Taking a deep breath, you stepped from the small space. Furrowing your brows, you were surprised to see a handsome man, dressed in a full suit in front of you. The cameras were on and waiting for your arrival.

"Wow," his surprisingly gravely voice purred. Reaching out to take your hand, he smiled. "You must be Y/N."

"I am," you said cautiously.

"I'm Got7's Jackson," he smiled. "And you are absolutely gorgeous."

You tried to ignore the sharp intake of breath from behind you.

Tonight was going to be interesting.

[huihuiheart]

Sexy Mind - Pentagon - Hui - Drabble

Navigation

Pentagon Masterlist

Pairing:  Boyfriend! Hoetaek x Biochemist! GF Reader

Warnings: Fingering, bathtub sex, unprotected sex (implied)

Word Count: 632

Being a biochemist wasn’t easy, but you also felt that it was not as intense as everyone had warned going into it. Most had attempted to scare you off from such a path, something you were glad you hadn’t given into now that you had found your calling and established yourself in a career. There was someone who has never done such a thing though, your boyfriend, Hoetaek. He was more than supportive, he was awe-struck. Whenever you would discuss things he looked at you as if you had hung the stars themselves. Well, until he snapped and made out with you passionately until he got you into his bed for a long night.

Despite your love for your job, today had not been a good day. Things had not gone according to plan, and now you felt as though you were bringing work home because you couldn’t get your mind off what happened. Hoetaek noticed as he came over and massaged your shoulders, kissing your cheek as he looked over one of them.

“Long day at work, baby? " he asks, despite knowing you well enough to know the answer already.

“Yeah, the compound that we added didn’t encourage the cells to break down any contaminants. In fact, the water was worse when we tested it after and I have absolutely no idea why. Those cells are already predisposed to clear things out, so why it got worse instead of better makes no sense.” You whine before huffing as you look at the papers in front of you, having done so for so long that it was all starting to blur together at this point.

“You’re so sexy when you talk about that stuff.” Hoetaek’s voice has dropped a couple of octaves now, but you’re shaking your head.

“None of that, I need to figure this out.” You counter trying to shake him off but to no avail.

“Baby that sexy brain of yours is running so fast it's frying. You need to step away long enough to let it cool off.” Hoetaek immediately says back, but you’re not giving in yet, despite leaning into his touch a little now.

“You’re just saying that cause you want me.” Your argument makes him chuckle. 

“Not entirely, when have I ever steered you wrong baby? You know I’ve got my own smarts about some things and you’re one of them.” Hoetaek insists and it is enough as you hum and let him help you to stand, “Now come on let's help you relax.”

Hoetaek draws a bath and helps you undress before you’re both getting in. He massages your back some under the hot water before settling you against his chest. His hands carefully work on every muscle before drifting elsewhere. Two of his fingers slipped between your legs to rub soft circles into your clit. Hoetaek hums when he feels you melt. 

“There you go baby, just stop thinking for a little bit.” He kisses your neck as his fingers dip lower to slip inside, his thumb taking over on your clit. You’re shifting some as you feel him getting hard between your bodies, “Calm down baby, you’re still thinking too much let me do that.”

Usually, that would be a challenge for you, but as his fingers pressed against your sweet spot and coaxed you up and over the edge it seemed to come naturally. Hoetaek’s praise only furthers the haze in your mind. His hands gripping your hips, thumbs rubbing circles to ground you until he feels you’re starting to think too much again. Then he’s lifting you onto his cock for the start of a very long night. After which you never doubted him again considering the solution was clear as day the next time you picked up those papers.

[syuga-s]

drop your wishlist 🪄

besties i've been picking my brain apart THE WHOLE WEEK because I want to write but I don't know who I should make it about or which character I should use.....,.., if there's someone in need of an AU/drabble/imagine let me know pls!! whether it's angst/fluff/smut doesn't matter just give me a MAN (btw i write mainly for afab readers & gender neutral readers 🫶) is this the part where i officially start to take requests?? we'll seeeee

[tm-trx]

currents.22 [2024]

selections from my week in media [26 may - 1 jun 2024]

[anticipating]

Ascendant by Michael R. Miller - I love a good 'boy and his dragon' story, so this one is up next on my dragon book list.

Running Close to the Wind by Alexandra Rowland - It comes out on June 11 and sounds like a fun read.

[listening]

[loving]

Dee's grandma crashing Yak and Dee's sex date, then proceeding to charm the heck out of everyone, including the audience. I love her.

[reading]

The Lawyer in Shizukuishi Sleeps With a Wolf by Akira Sugano [3 stars] - The cover art looks yaoi, but the book mostly consists of philosophical concerns around the nature of justice, with more than a little tax fraud. It took me two months to the day to finish it. But there are also immortals and a wolf who can only be in his human form when he's alone with his brother. I would actually love to see this adapted into a drama or movie.

Love, a Kitten, and a Salty Dog by Nenko Nen [2 stars] - It was cute, but that was about it. It features a couple of my least favorite tropes. The kitten was adorable though.

The Oppa Trap by rainhat - The King: Eternal Monarch twins AU - one of my favorites; I reread it every time I watch the drama

The Storm Boys series by NR Walker [4 stars] - MM contemporary romance about a storm chaser and a fulminologist (lightning scientist)

When Among Crows by Veronica Roth [5 stars] - urban fantasy novella based in Slavic folklore

[watching]

The King: Eternal Monarch, ep 8-16 - finished my latest rewatch; still wishing there were time stamps included at key points because the passage of time is so unclear

Wandee Goodday, ep 5 - A very cute episode with more plot development than I expected, looking back. And is it me, or is meeting a promoter after dark, on a deserted street not a good sign? (Or maybe that was just filming location problems.)

previous Currents posts

.

[kindled-soul]

NOSTALGIA

As you mature and gain new experiences, improving yourself as you go, your work gets better and better. You learn from the past and use this knowledge to make a better present that paves the way for a better future.

What value, then, do old works have when asked to choose between it and its more current counterparts? 

In an impossible place, at an impossible time, a creator and their creation meet…

Why do people create things?

What drives them?

What benefit is there in creating and sharing?

Is it for themselves? For other people?

To please a superior? To reach a deadline?

How does one transcribe their most intimate feelings into their creations?

What makes them so comfortable to share their vulnerability?

Or does it mean nothing at all? Is it all just flowery words?

There might exist a reality where concepts and ideas are given physical life. They breathe, just like any other human. They have personalities, if you wish to acknowledge the embodiment of a concept as such. They walk, talk, and feel. They laugh, cry, play, fight, rage, despair, yet also forgive, love, and care. They live. They know who their creators are, of course. After all, they are alive because of these humans. However, none of them feel the need to ever meet their creators. No, that’s ridiculous. What purpose is there to meet their creators? They are content to simply live with each other, never once meeting the humans they owe their existence to. It’s not like those humans know about them, anyway.

This is how the oldest of a group of 13 sisters has lived. Formally named as Pentagon, simply called Penny by the others, she is the first of the albums from a Korean boy group called PENTAGON, her namesakes. She has guided the first 3 that came after her, teaching them what she knows and paving the way for them to find their own path. Nowadays, having such a large gap between her and the younger ones, she is content to be on the sidelines and watch the new albums be guided by those that came before.

Penny has never wished for more, never needed for less.

She is satisfied.

If you had the chance to meet your creator, what would you say?

What would you ask?

Would it be hard to believe these questions never crossed her mind before? Not once has she thought about confronting those responsible for her existence. What is there to gain? She exists, she lives, and, for better or worse, there is nothing more to be done about it.

And yet…

Penny walks in an expanse of white. If she were to stand still for a few minutes, it would be easy for her to lose track of what is right-side up. She can’t quite remember how she got here. One minute she was walking around in the mall downtown, the next she blinked and is now walking in this void. Although, she doesn’t feel dead, so it can’t be the afterlife. Did she enter a forbidden place in the mall?  ‘I’ll never hear the end of it from Sunny if this is somehow one of those dreaded Backrooms…’

She doesn’t walk alone, though. Somehow, beside her walks along a man (a real human?) twice her height. He’s dressed very casually, a t-shirt, jeans, and rubber shoes. It’s as if he’s merely taking a stroll in a park. He looks ahead, face neutral, and hums quietly to himself. His hands stay in his pant pockets, only leaving when the man decides to adjust his shirt every now and then.

Their footsteps echo softly around them, filling in the deafening silence of the white space. Neither of them have spoken to each other, only giving each other a glance at the start before quickly looking away and walking forward.

Although Penny only got a quick glimpse of what the man looks like, she knows for sure that the man beside her is one of her creators. Lee Hoetaek, simply known as Hui, the leader of PENTAGON, one of Penny’s writers, walks beside her in the vastness of nothing. This man is one of the people responsible for the birth of all of PENTAGON’s albums except for those made during his enlistment period (although strangely, Fiona doesn’t apply to this). 

Penny still remembers how the boys were like when she first came to be. Ambitious, hopeful, eager to prove themselves.; they were young and filled with dreams. The man beside her now seems so different from the boy of the past. ‘He’s grown so much. 7 years is really such a long time,’ Penny wonders how much the others have also grown.

After a while, Penny pulls on her hoodie’s sleeves. How long have they been walking? Is time even a thing here? Her chest feels a little too tight, hands a little too restless. Will they keep walking aimlessly forever? Is there an end to this white space? She looks around her. There’s no telling how far they’ve walked now, if they have ever left their place of origin at all. Should she say something? What does she even ask?

This could all be just a very vivid dream. Perhaps she already made it home for the night. Everything feels so…real, though, for it to simply be a dream. Then again, if all this is just a dream, what does she have to lose in talking to Hui?

Penny opens her mouth, feeling her voice disappear. She stops and clears her throat, consciously avoiding Hui now stopping and staring down at her.

“How’s…,” her voice cracks and Penny wishes the void spontaneously summons a black hole. Still, she pushes through, “how’s everything? …with everyone?”

She hears rather than sees Hui shifting on his feet. He hums a bit before replying, “..what?”

Penny’s face cringes at their current interaction. Talking with others should come naturally to her. She stands up straighter and faces Hui, actually looking at his face for the first time. He looks even more tired now, but his eyes seem to have not lost their bright, ambitious glow, still so alive after some time. It feels weird, to see a grown man in the place of the hopeful young boy she grew accustomed to. Something squeezes in Penny’s chest. “How’s PENTAGON? How’s…everyone been? It’s been, well, it’s been seven years for me now.”

Penny isn’t too sure how everything works here. Does Hui understand what she is? If this is her own dream, perhaps he does. On the off chance this isn’t, well this would be very hard to explain. He doesn’t seem to be confused about what's going on, though. Maybe he is at least aware that this isn’t the same world he knows of.

Hui stares at her, what he’s looking for she can’t tell. He lets out an embarrassed chuckle and rubs his neck, eyes looking off to the side. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, “It’s been…a lot of things. Wow, seven years? It’s…a long story.”

He didn’t question her about anything she said. Humming, Penny turns back forward and takes a few steps forward. She looks back up at him, “We have time,” head nodding to the path forward.

He looks at her, to the space in front of them, and releases a breath. Shrugging, he starts up his pace again, “I guess we do.” Penny follows along beside him, both of them looking forward as they walk.

And so, Hui talks. Penny makes no move to interrupt him, despite already knowing the group updates from talking to the younger albums. She lets him tell the story from his perspective, as the person who had to live through all the times, even adding about things that happened outside of official PENTAGON business.

Hui talks about many things.

Their debut showcase; Their first concert; Their subsequent comebacks; The group's status as self-producing idols; The rise and success of Shine; Hyojong and Hyuna's situation; Their first comeback without Hyojong; The mess that came after that; PRISM World Tour; Jinho's enlistment stage; The two comebacks without Jinho; Their first win, four years after debut; His own enlistment time; In:vite U, the one comeback without him; Hongseok's enlistment situation; Each member's participation in survival shows; Everyone's individual projects, like Kino's Pose; Dorm life; Status on the younger members; His burden and anxieties as the leader; Universe; Their latest Japanese comeback

The contract renewal period. The younger members’ departure from CUBE.

Penny tenses the most at the last topics. Logically, she knew the boys had a time limit hanging above their heads, but it felt like it was so far into the future all those years ago. A selfish part of her thought that they would always make music together until they physically couldn’t anymore. They were so hopeful and bright-eyed way back when they first debuted. Penny didn’t want any of that to change.

Is she being unreasonable for being the tiniest bit bitter at the younger line for leaving? Maybe. After all, they said they left CUBE, not PENTAGON (though the line they walk is very fragile and dangerous). It hurts to not know how Yanan’s doing, though. Penny can only hope everyone around him treats him well.

She never thought that anyone would actually leave unless forced to by the management, much less the boys who promised each other forever.

But she can’t control their fates. She can only hear about it happening.

“I think…that should be up to speed, except of course all the other individual schedules the members have,” Hui finishes.

They walk in silence once again. Penny allows herself this time to process all Hui told her. Seven years sounds long in theory, but feels so fast. And yet, hearing all of this from Hui, a lot of things really has happened to them. Penny bites her lip and looks down at Hui’s shoes, “...but were you all happy?”

Hui hums, thinking about it for a few seconds. “I know they were. It was hard for everyone, but they all seem happy now.”

“How’ve you been, then?”

“Well, I’ve been ok. I’ll admit there've been some good and bad times, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. God knows how much I missed them when I was in Boys Planet.”

Penny lifts her gaze to look at Hui’s eyes. He must have sensed her stare as after only a few seconds, he looked down to meet her own gaze. “But are you happy, after everything?” Penny asks.

Hui looks back forward, seemingly lost in thought. After a while, he nods his head, looking back down at Penny, “yes, I am. I don’t think I’ll ever find better brothers to love this deeply.”

Penny nods her head and looks back forward, continuing their walk in silence.

If you had the chance to meet your creator, what would you say?

What would you ask?

Penny never had those thoughts cross her mind before. It was simply impossible and worthless.

But she’s here now, walking with Hui. Even if this is a dream, wouldn’t this be the closest interaction she has with him?

She thinks about what she would ask Hui, something substantial. She almost gives up until a question forces itself in her mind, getting caught in her throat. Her stomach briefly falls. Would this really be worth asking? She desperately tries to find something else to say, but her one question keeps hammering in her heart.

Defeated, Penny quietly sighs and opens her mouth, “...Hui?”

The man lets out a curious hum.

“You…you’re finally allowed to release your own songs, right? Release your own albums and all. So what do you think about the ones you didn’t produce?”

Hui tilts his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “Didn’t produce…for PENTAGON, you mean?”

“Yeah, of course, for PENTAGON,” Penny clears her throat. Her nerves start rising up. It feels suffocating. “Like me. Five Senses. Ceremony. You know, the first ones, when that company didn’t allow much freedom for you guys yet. What do you…think about us?”

Hui’s mouth forms an O and he hums again, “I don’t hate you, if that’s your concern. I think you guys are fine.”

‘“Don’t hate” doesn’t necessarily mean “like” either,’ the pit in Penny’s stomach only grew deeper. ‘Isn’t this enough? Wasn’t this what she wanted?’ The dread inside her clings to her heart, behind her eyes, inside her lungs. Penny steps in front of Hui, causing both of them to stop walking. She looks up at him, fists holding the sides of her hoodie, “so then it’s fine if people listen to us?”

Hui looks more lost, not understanding the reasoning for Penny’s questions, “why wouldn’t it be?”

Penny takes a deep breath. “Unis don’t include us in streaming parties, and I get it. It’s more helpful to you if they stream songs produced by you guys. I promise I’m not mad about that. I get it…” Penny’s eyes fall to the side, hands rubbing together.

Hui slightly leans down, trying to catch her eyes, “...but?”

“But I…I wanted to know…what you think. You know, you’ve produced so many things. You probably don’t have the time and care to think about the ones you don’t produce and that’s perfectly fine. It’s fine. I’m fine with it. You’re only human. There’s only so much you can focus on at a time. I just wish- just wanted to know what…we are to you. You know, we’re part of your discography forever but we’re not fully produced by you guys. What are we…what am I to you?”

Do you hate me because you weren’t allowed to produce your own debut album? Do I bring back bad memories of what you had to go through just to debut? How do you see me? Or is this why you never think about me? There’s so much Penny wants to ask, but she holds herself back.

Am I asking for too much? Am I being too selfish? Have I made you sad? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. If you allowed her, she would go on forever on everything she wants to say to PENTAGON.

What am I to you? What am I supposed to be? What did you want me to be? Why am I so unsure if I matter to you? Where are these questions coming from? She never had these thoughts cross her mind. After all, she is satisfied being in the background. She is content to watch everyone grow and mature.

She is happy.

She is…happy?

Would someone who is happy have so many ways to question their worth?

Penny has no doubt in her heart that she loves all the boys very dearly. She and the group technically were born together. She is very excited and delighted to see how each and every one of them has grown. But standing in front of Hui, Penny wonders if they ever saw her with even at least the tiniest bit of love they can spare.

“I just,” Penny continues, eyes dropping down to her shoes. “I wanted to know…if you love us…,” Can she be selfish, just this once? “...if you love me, just like you do for all the others.” Her voice drops down to almost a whisper, losing all the previous strength and courage Penny managed to muster.

Penny stands there waiting for Hui’s response, the silence around them rings so loud in her ears, like a thousand glasses crashing against each other. She can only focus on her shoes, refusing to move a single muscle. Why isn’t he replying? Why can’t he just say a yes or no? Why am I even here? Why is this happening? This is all so stupid. Why? Why me? Why? Why? Why?Why?Why?Why?

Just as Penny starts to spiral, Hui slowly kneels down in front of her. She startles, looking at him as he reaches to be on the same eye-level as her. His smile is small, gentle, eyes so warm Penny didn’t realize how cold she felt until she physically melted just by looking at him. He holds out his hands to her, and Penny slowly puts hers on them, her own head tilting at Hui. He holds onto her tightly and smiles wider.

How can one person be so filled with love it shows itself even through the simplest action of smiling? Just by looking into their eyes?

How can someone be so willing to surrender their heart for all to see? To open their heart for anything? To still have space to love even more?

Penny doesn’t know the answer to these questions. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to experience doing something like that herself. But she stares at Hui smiling at her, and she thinks that maybe someone like that can actually exist somewhere.

Hui stares at her a little bit longer, a nostalgic feeling finding its way into his gaze, and he opens his mouth, “Just because I didn’t make you doesn’t mean I don’t love you just the same.”

Penny’s breath gets caught in her throat. She prepared herself for rejection, for indifference, for maybe a very guilty expression. She was prepared to get her heart quietly broken. She never expected Hui to look at her with so much love, like a parent would to their child.

He pushes on, “It might seem so different now, with us being all self-produced now, but that will never mean I won’t be grateful for what you are in our lives. I look at you and I see how far we’ve grown, how far we’ve reached. But more than that, you also carry so much memories. You are our debut. There’s so much worth and weight in what you are.”

“But I’m stuck like this,” Penny whispers back. “I’ll never truly be one of yours.”

“And maybe you don’t have to be. Maybe the time just wasn’t right. We were too new to have a purely self-produced album. We were too young ourselves. But that doesn’t mean the memories and joy we felt during your time weren’t real, weren’t ours to cherish.”

Hui lifts his right hand and places them on Penny’s cheek. He uses his thumb to wipe away any tears he can catch, his smile somehow melting even more. When did she start crying? When did breathing become difficult? Penny bites on her lip, silencing any sounds trying to escape.

“Besides,” Hui softens his voice. “I’m sure there are plenty of Unis out there who are Universes today because of you. You gave us a chance to be the idols we are today. So please, don’t think that I don’t love you. And even if I didn’t, I’m sure there is someone somewhere out there who will fill in that love for me, even if you can’t meet them.”

Penny tries to get her breathing under control. There’s too much emotion to feel, emotions so different from what she expected to receive. After a few minutes, she sucks in a breath through her teeth and whispers back, “You guys have grown so much.”

Hui carefully pulls her into a hug, and whispers in her ear, “I’ll forever be grateful you paved the way for this to happen.”

A sincere person until the very end, her beloved leader. She throws her arms around him and hugs him back. If she’s hugging him tighter than he does to her, he doesn’t comment on it and hugs her back just as tightly.

Eventually, Penny pulls back and looks at him, staring at her with so much love and gratitude. It feels so warm. Penny finds the strength to smile back, “It’s been an honor to be a part of your journey.”

Hui stands back up and Penny goes to continue walking forward. She notices the missing footsteps beside her and looks back to see Hui going in the opposite direction. Oh, is their time up? Penny cups her hands around her mouth and calls out, “HUI!”

The man turns back at her, tilting his head with a smile. Penny waves at him with both arms, like one would do when watching a cruise ship drive away. “Good luck,” she shouts to him with a smile, “with everything.”

Hui smiles back, wider than the others she’s seen today, and raises one hand to wave back. After that, he turns back and continues walking.

Penny watches his back for a few more moments. Eventually, she turns back around and continues her own way forward.

Just like all those years ago, Penny can only watch and let him go his own separate way.

This time, though, it didn’t feel heavy to let go.

Soon, Penny hears voices coming from ahead.

“Sunny, get back here! I know you did it!”

“You can’t prove anything, dear sister!”

“Lor, stop watching and help me with this.”

“I don’t know, man. You seem to be doing just fine on your own.”

“Why was I assigned babysitting duty…”

Penny can’t help the grin that crosses her face hearing the voices of her other sisters. She runs the rest of the way, leaving behind nothing more than what would be thought of as a dream.

Will newer works always be more relevant than works of the past?

Can the same artist value their current work more than the previous?

Or maybe one can learn to love their past creations for what they were for the time.

Maybe there’s no need to compare the worth of one project to another.

Maybe one can simply give their love to anything and everything they have made.

Wouldn’t that make life even just a little bit brighter?

~~ End thoughts ~~

So this specific idea was inspired by multiple songs:

You Are - PENTAGON

The Greatest Wall - HUI & KINO

What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish

With Universe - PENTAGON

for you - HUI

Me, while writing this: *shaking* “Would Hui even say that??”

Like of course I don’t know him personally so everything this Hui has "said" is all a guessing game

Doesn't stop the anxiety ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა

I’ll be honest, I had no intention of actually fully writing out this idea because it sounds too…crazy and stupid. Like, why would anyone write about this?

But then October 9 came, then “With Universe” was released. I think I just needed to cope really badly back then.

It’s stupid. I've only known these guys for like 9 months and yet I’m so attached to them. So many things happened just as I was getting to know them and it's all been very confusing emotionally.

So this was basically my coping mechanism of a fic.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading this. Or cringed. Either works honestly.

[yuthoe]

Fatigued (PENTAGON: Hui)

after a quick look at my last fic post, i realized that it's been a little more than a year since i last posted any original thing from me lmaooo

i still have an unfinished vampire!wonho fic but i keep getting stuck cuz writing smut is haaaard. so since i have downtime from our workshop i decided to finish this, so i'm sorry if it seems like the ending is rushed. this one is still super tame compared to the others i have mapped out (as far as angst goes, this is not the heaviest one lol) so i hope y'all look out for those

PAIRING: Hui (Lee Hoetaek) x gn!reader. GENRE: fic, general, angst. WARNINGS: vampire!au—contains mentions of blood. WORD COUNT: 1,697.

---

Hoetaek closes the door to his apartment quietly, slinging the strap of his crossbody off his shoulder and carefully setting it on the floor of the entryway before toeing off his shoes. In his other hand he holds a rectangular insulated bag, small enough to not be conspicuous, but big enough to fit his refills if they’re packed right.

It’s the first time he’s come home to his apartment in a week, cooped up in his studio composing songs, fixing demos, struggling with lyrics. It was only the notification from his phone reminding him of his appointment at the hospital that got him to get up and fix the clutter around the room.

Now he tiredly carries the insulated bag into the kitchen, propping the fridge door open with his leg and opening the zip of the bag carefully.

The blood bags are carefully packed into the container—enough for around two weeks. Hoetaek doesn't need to feed often (he's gotten a good handle on his thirst throughout the decades), but he still regulates his feeding times so he doesn’t burn through them all in one sitting. Before he holed himself up in the studio, he made a point to stock his body up on nutrients so he didn’t have to bring any bags to clutter up the mini-fridge there.

Hoetaek sighs, blinks hard a few times to clear the daze out of his eyes so he can store the bags properly at the back of the fridge, but giving up quickly. He’s dizzy, sleepy, bone-tired, and frankly a little smelly from working non-stop these past few days. Before he passes out from exhaustion, he decides to just dump the refills onto the only empty space near the front of the fridge. A nice, hot shower and a soak in the bath is in order.

He dumps the now empty bag on the countertop and makes a quick stop to the bedroom to fetch his towel, before heading to the bathroom. Along the way, he taps on his phone with one hand, typing out a quick text to you. 

Hey, honey. I'm back at the apartment. Gonna take a quick shower, but you can come in anytime. 

Hoetaek leaves his phone on the counter top, and inch by inch relaxes as he settles into his bath time routine.

—

The bath is steamy when he finishes an hour later, refreshed and ready to take a much-deserved break. He whistles as he pads barefoot to the bedroom to change into the soft and comfy pajamas you gave him recently. When he finally finishes dressing and doing his minimal skincare routine, he steps out to the living area and sees you seated on the small couch.

“Oh, hi, babe! Didn’t hear you come in.” A lie. He heard it loud and clear when his phone buzzed on the counter midway through his shower; heard the quiet thud of the door and the lock fastening on the latch when you came in; heard the shuffling of your feet as you walked around the apartment in your house slippers; heard you rifling through the kitchen and the fridge looking for food or something to make a light meal with because he knows you like cooking for him after he’s had a tough day at work.

Cat’s out of the bag, as far as Hoetaek is concerned—you definitely saw the blood bags in the refrigerator. He is just delaying the inevitable at this point, refusing to acknowledge that he knows about your discovery and the worried and suspicious look on your face as you sit in silence.

“Yeah, I got in around fifteen minutes ago,” you say. He notes the way you twiddle your thumbs in your lap, looking away quickly to make a beeline to the kitchenette. It’s clean, just the way he left it an hour before, with no signs of anyone attempting to cook anything. Hoetaek figures you were too shaken by what you saw and gave up trying to whip something up and pretend everything is fine.

It is with a quiet resignation that he reaches into a cupboard for an opaque mug and rummages in the fridge for a blood bag, keeping his back towards you to hide him unscrewing the stopper and squeezing out the thick liquid into the mug. “Are you hungry? We can get something delivered,” he calls out, drowning out the sloshing sounds of the blood pouring out from the bag. Once he’s filled the mug almost to the rim, he screws the cap back on with practiced ease, licking his fingertips clean before stowing it back in the fridge, just on top of the pile.

Hoetaek hears you stand and pad all the way to the counter separating the kitchen from the living area as he looks for a reusable straw in one of the drawers, plopping it in the mug. “No, I’m good,” you say. The sweet taste of A-positive soaks his tongue as he takes a sip and he sighs in relief. He takes another drag through the straw before turning to face you, that worried look still on your pretty face. “Just…”

Your nails nervously tap on the faux-marble countertop. “Are you okay, Hoetaek? Are you sick or something?”

He holds the cooling mug tightly in both hands, shrugs. “What do you mean?”

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth. “I… I saw blood bags. In the fridge.” And then you start rambling. “I was just looking for something to cook for you because I know you’ve been at the studio working the whole week and figured you might want a salad or noodles or something. I didn’t mean to see—they were just there and I thought it was a pile of, I don’t know berry flavored jelly, I guess? But then I flipped one over and realized it’s blood and it had the label and everything, so I freaked out because how did you get that much blood and what are you gonna use all of it for?? Now, I’m concerned and worried and just a little bit freaked out about this whole thing.” Your fingers continued tapping a staccato rhythm as you talked, and finally still when you stop to catch a breath.

The mug almost falls out of Hoetaek’s hands as he regards you with shining eyes. He’d been lying to you, keeping such a big part of himself a secret from you for years. He can tell himself that he did it to protect you, to keep you away from the uglier side of him, but that’s not the whole truth. The fact of the matter is, Hoetaek is just scared; he is scared that you’ll just run off when the truth comes to light and he doesn’t think he can handle that.

The vampire sets the mug down on the counter next to the refrigerator, the contents well out of your sight, before standing in front of you. He lets the marble island between you act as a barrier, even as he takes both your hands in his. His thumbs smooth across your skin, teeth biting at his lip as he tries to find the right words.

“Babe… Thank you for worrying,” he finally starts. “But you didn’t need to. I’m not sick, although I know you get concerned that I’m too pale sometimes, but that’s just because I’m cooped up in the studio a lot.” He chuckles, and sees a corner of your mouth twitch upwards. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “We’ve been together for almost three years. And considering that I plan to get on your nerves for the foreseeable future, I suppose I need to be straight with you.

“I’m…” He takes a deep breath. “Well, to put it simply, I’m not human. I’m a vampire and I drink blood. I was born in the late 1890s, but I’ve been 30 for around eighty years or so.” He watches your face, looking for any sign of disgust or apprehension in the lines on your forehead. “I know this is a lot, and I’m not expecting you to stay after finding out about all this. If you need a break—from me—I completely understand.”

Hoetaek squeezes your hands and is about to release them, but you tighten your grip.

“You…” Hui’s brows knit as he watches you struggle to find words. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he replies quickly. “Take all the time you need.”

“No, it’s… I’m okay with it, I think?” You keep his hands in yours as you round the corner of the island to stand beside him. “I don’t mind that you’re a vampire, at least. I know I have questions, but I just don’t know how to word them properly, I guess?” The heat of your palms travels up as you drag them along his arms, across his shoulders, and stop to gently hold his cheeks. “I still love you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” you say. “I have no reason to stop loving you, Hoetaek.”

He squeezes your hands, knuckles white. “But…,” he whispers, voice breaking. “I’m not like you, I’m not human—I’m different… Does that not scare you?”

You look square in his eyes, searching for something in them, and then you slowly shake your head. “No. You’re you, and as far as I’m concerned, the only different thing here is that you apparently drink blood straight out of the bag. You don’t feel different, you don’t look or sound different. So you’re still my Hoetaek, right?”

Hoetaek thinks he could cry. It never crossed his mind that you would turn him away after baring himself—you have no bad bone in your body. But hearing you say so confidently that you still love him, that he’s still yours… made his long dormant heart almost beat again.

He surges forward and wraps his arms around your waist, buries his nose into your neck. (He is definitely not crying.) “I love you,” he whispers. “I love you so much.”

Hoetaek feels your head rest against his, your arms embracing him so gently, so carefully. “I love you, too. Always.”