#and yea i get it if her character makes you uncomfortable but she’s so fully formed and i fucking hate this shit idea of dismissing her for

[sammygender]

it’s insane to me when people talk like ‘i hate vriska but’ or ‘vriskas a shitty person but-’ why r u acting like the ‘but’ redeems what you’re saying you’re still stupid and wrong. not to get into vriscourse in the year 2023 but homegirl has literally never been portrayed as older than 16 in ANY canon material. ninety nine percent of what people hate her for she was literally THIRTEEN. i’d like to see you guys at thirteen

[nera-forest]

NOELLE FALLEN ANGEL

-SNOWGRAVE CONCEPT-

Okay this is a lil old but tryna use tumblr more and I used a fair amount of my brain for this concept, since I really like the idea of snowgrave making noelle a crazy powerful boss from Kris' influence kinda pushing her too far. any way I wanna break down my thought process a lil (even if a bit messy) so if you wanna hear me yap (warning, im really not the best at formulating words outside my head) read on. if not...mood board I made at bottom

TW// BLOOD, SHEDDING IN MOOD BOARD- might make people uncomfortable The main things I wanted to show in this design was the angel look and Christmas theme, all while pushing a more sad, hollow and evil look as i feel the juxtapose to "happy Christmas vibes" would make for a more tragic kind of feeling (with what we know of Noelle's character so far). getting the Christmas look was the fun easy part, I knew for a fact i wanted her silhouette to look like a Christmas tree. maybe because subconsciously a pine tree shape and look quite powerful or be kinda spooky. Much like a Christmas tree I wanted to implement the decorative aspect, tinsel, and baubles, but also got inspired by those paper snowflakes id make as a kid. the tinsel I put around the trim, and treated the baubles like reindeer harness Christmas bells, the snowflake like a lace trim but also draped like a head piece around the antlers (this is actually shed reindeer velvet) naturally angels and Christmas go hand in hand but i wanted to push the elegant look...and put a halo on her, like a decoration at the top of the tree framed by her antlers. oh and another thing being the star shape on her torso? i wanted another strong shape within the tree silhouette to draw focus a bit more (especially with the red...but ill talk color in a bit). a great segway to that actually is the ice/snow aspects, the reason i wanted this is ice naturally is another thing that can be both pretty and dreadful. for the design I like the idea of the more she uses her powers the more she gets covered in frost (im a sucker for character corruption) . i wanted to have the antlers go from cute to dangerous, I drew them as velvet shed antlers first, but also wanted to keep a little of her past on her design, so adding the ice shape in a way to allow the red of the antlers to show the old shape worked well by me. some more ice/snow i added was around her hoofs, hands and muzzle. the hooves frost shaping to be like a high heel shoe much like how reindeers have white fur close to the base of their hooves too. her hands fully frosted over not only because of main power direction source but to kind of look like elegant gloves. the frost on her face was mainly to add variety to her face while considering reindeer fur coloration, it also helped frame her red nose which helps draw focus to her face a bit more. general color summery, i wanted colors that contrast and give a feeling of cold and bad. but also red for Christmas yippee how fun!

last thing I guess is the pose. with this i had my silhouette first but realized I could do a sort of angel opening arms. which is naturally a welcoming and caring gesture, but in the context of the design kinda makes the vibe more creepy which....of course that worked for what i wanted to go for so i did that but uuuh yea, that's my thought process with it...there was probably more but I didn't write down stuff in the moment of making it. here is a very minimal moodboard. again

TW// BLOOD, SHEDDING IN MOOD BOARD- might make people uncomfortable:

[tadpolesonalgae]

this is gonna be so random but..

thoughts on gwynlain? 🤭

OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT

besides the fact that i have the chronic disease that is whenever im presented with popular highly fandom competitive hetero ships i get the irresistible urge to ship the women together just out of lesbian spite.

i think their relationship could be pretty interesting 👀👀 like ur in a rough patch with ur sister whom u had a pretty decent relationship w ur entire life until u both went thru traumatizing events and one day ur sister is hanging out with a pretty red haired girl who coincidentally has a potential Thing going on with the same guy that you also have a potential Thing going on with and she seems to get along with the current version of your sister who's trying to heal from everything that's happened meanwhile everytime u and ur sister have a convo it seems to end in jagged words getting thrown at each other so everything abt pretty red haired girl makes u a bit uncomfortable and weirdly tense But then u realize that pretty red haired girl is also just trying to gain back control in her life after traumatizing events in her life which is exactly what you've been trying to do and-

.......... so yea i have the delusional talent of convincing my brain that any potential tension between two female characters is just groundwork for ✨️ sexual tension ✨️

‘thoughts on gwynlain? 🤭’

Girl I have so many feelings I don’t want to open this can of worms 🫠🥞

‘OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT’

I would never try to silence you on this topic 😌

‘besides the fact that i have the chronic disease that is whenever im presented with popular highly fandom competitive hetero ships i get the irresistible urge to ship the women together just out of lesbian spite.’

Okay, I know almost exactly what you mean but I don’t think it’s a spiteful thing at all? Even in the modern day you don’t get lesbian/gay/queer romance in shows or films as frequently as straight romance (naturally because of heteronormativity so they’ll likely prove to be more appealing to the general public), and that absence was much more obvious in the past? When we would have been growing up too?

Anyway, I think it might just be our way of compensating for the lack of shows that openly show queer relationships through creating our own ships in fanon? So I think it’s a normal thing to think about honestly :)

‘i think their relationship could be pretty interesting 👀👀’

I already liked them before your explanation but now my brain is melting 🫠 I’d already been feeling weirdly sapphic for the past few days and this has just fully launched me into the depths of it 😭 I would love to read a book with those two in but I doubt that’ll happen so I’m holding out for an Emerie book ☹️

And oh my goodness have you seen that gwynlain fanart?? Where they’re baking together??? It makes me so happy (I’m going to try and find it because I know I’ve seen it recently)

‘.......... so yea i have the delusional talent of convincing my brain that any potential tension between two female characters is just groundwork for ✨️ sexual tension ✨️’

I am fully in support of your argument, continue your delusion please 🫠🧡💛

And also I think it’s more productive to have a positive outlook between them rather than a negative one that I think the ship wars have contributed to 🫠

[veys-mood-of-mentalbreakdown]

Aaaaalright i feel like this would probably be perfect for r/amitheasshole but i couldnt be bothered to put it on reddit. But I’ll formulate it like i would if i posted it there (EDIT: tried to post it to r/AITA but it wouldnt let me cuz its over 3000 characters)

Am i the asshole for wanting to tell a birthday party guest to not come anymore

This weekend March 11th 2023 the body will be 19 years old, to celebrate this we’re having our first actual birthday party with friends. We’ve invited 5 friends and all of them are coming some of them also sleep over as they come from far. Including the person id love to tell that they arent welcome anymore, we’ll call this person K.

As i said before this is the first time we ever thrown a party, so we are understandably stressed to get everything perfect. We don’t ask for help of the guest because we want to get it all ready ourselves (which as of now we have succeeded in and almost have everything ready).

K from day one started complaining about everything and anything. First it was about alcohol. About if we had vodka, and if we had different vodka than a certain brand because they only like that kind of stuff. Then it was about food, constantly making a problem about the snacks ans foods we were getting, i would share screenshots but i cant for privacy reasons so i’ll put it down as a list

- will there be enough food?

Yes there will be enough food

- will it be cold or warm, we only like to have warm food for dinner

We will make sure there will be cold and warm foods and foods you can eat both cold and warm

- yea but will there be enough

Yes there will be enough

- snacks dont sound like food to me

We call it snacks because we’re going to get tapas like dishes, meaning many different kinds of food

- will there be enough??

Yes K there will be enough

- i just dont have a right feeling about this

About what? The party or the food?

- the food at the party, i have a bad gut feeling about this

She then also started getting upset about the people we invited to our birthday party and the fact some of them are system’s like us (she is fully aware we are a system) saying that she thinks it’s going to be too much to handle, which i can get, i just don’t understand why she didnt tell us up front and said she wasnt going to come instead of getting angry at us for it.

She then said it would be a rollercoaster of emotions for her, and wanted to have a moment where she could just talk to our host privately about her emotional baggage at our host’s birthday party, and ofcourse like the good friend our host is, he agreed to play therapist because he’s afraid she’ll leave and bitch about him to others.

We made a playlist for music for the party, inviting everyone that will come to add music so theres a bit of everyone’s music tastes, we asked if everyone could add party vibe music and asked to not add music sorts that are triggering to us or others coming to the party (we specified what triggers us and asked everyone to specify if they have any music that can be negatively triggering)

Full knowing this, K asked us if she can add Reggae and added a few too, knowing full well that this is one of the things that is highly triggering to our host as one of the big ab*sers in our life only ever listened to that stuff, they got upset when we told them rather not and then our host said “okay but not too many, 1 or 2” to satisfy her, knowing it would most likely cause flashbacks of some sort. She then said “you know what its your party” and deleted it from thw playlist under the condition that she gets to have moments at the party where she can listen to her own music, which fine by us ig.

She then said she wasnt sure if she was going to come after all because of all the things she spoke about before that made her feel uncomfortable and feel it might be too much for her weren’t fixed. So we said alright.

Then she said she knew it would be too much for her and said she was going to come later.

I really want to tell her in a polite manner that she needs to fuck off and isnt welcome anymore at the party, she single handedly made the pressure and stress so high and blames us for it when we told her we were handling it and it was stressing us out.

After which she also said “im sorry, i feel like im too much in our business”

So are we (am i personally) the asshole for wanting to tell her she no longer is welcome?

[appleciderp]

Hold onto your hats, because I want to rant about how Blizzard fucking sucks with women or any minority rep. And why it'll suck for your fav in whatever MW is coming up.

Fully inspired by this post, I'll be referencing to a few points that @spookykittenwrites made

As I said in those tags, I've been playing WoW since Burning Crusade, so I've known about the company since about 2007. I've not touched overwatch, but according to emp, their rep there is surface-level as well.

It's half me yelling about MW and half me yelling about how WoW fails in representation.

I have 0 faith in them with any sort of proper representation. I'll mostly be sticking to queers and women. I do have a small section about Gaz, but I'm white and keep that in mind.

Onto the bullshit

They're not gonna make any main character queer. This means Soap, Gaz, Price, and Ghost. Farah and Alex by extension. Most likely not Alejandro and Rudy. They won't risk the repercussions.

Hell, Alejandro is implied to have a family, but we skimmed over that part as a fandom.

What they will do, like Laswell, mention that a side/secondary/tertiary character has a partner, but won't put ANY thought into it. Laswell's wife could SHOULD have been talked about by name.

They don't CARE enough about their characters to even solidify her over a facade of rep that will make the queer people happy. It did in a sense, I am happy that she has a wife. But if you're bothering to have a line about her, just add a second. Like Price could ask "Oh, how's Madeline doing anyways?" or "Yea, you've told Jenny you'd stop smoking how many times already?"

WoW-wise, their queer characters are mostly surface-level. Which isn't bad in a world full of queer stories that are queer-centric. The problem is they don't have the balls to upset any fan by making a popular character explicitly queer in their portrayal. Hell it wasn't even THEM who made Matthias and Flynn queer, it was originally put into the novels (I believe Chrissy Golden?)

Here's a quote from an executive producer: "We don't try to put a big focus on it and make it a big deal, we just try to make the game feel comfortable, friendly and approachable for everybody"

I don't know about you, but using "comfortable, friendly, and approachable for everybody" as an excuse for why you don't have more outwardly queer rep (versus "hint around it") leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Because my sexuality or gender identity is uncomfortable for people? My existance is uncomfortable for people, so you don't want to explicitly say it???

but he implied that the devs don't think Pelagos is the first trans character. Fuck you. It's giving JKR saying that Dumbledore is gay, but it wasn't important to Harry's story. What isn't explicitly said in the source material is not canon.

They had, HAVE, the chance to make major players into canonically queer characters, but they're afraid of backlash. Vol'jin would have been so easily bi in canon, especially with his whole thing with Tyranthan in the fucking novel. And that Tyranthan went to his funeral??? even though they're on opposite sides????

Onto the next point, they don't and won't give a shit about the female characters. All I'm thinking about is the disappointing outcome of Tyrande's revenge after the burning of Teldrassil, hell even the whole Azshara thing. I'm not gonna go into detail about how it, just know it led to nothing. She didn't get revenge. She didn't have a satisfying end. Why? Probably because Sylvanas and Azshara are both more popular than Tyrande. Sylvanas probably being the WoW character with the most merch (not to mention the whole thing about a dev loving her).

Farah is gonna be brought up minimally, much like she was in MW II. Valeria/El Sin Nombre and most likely the Vaqueros will be completely forgotten. Maybe brought back (again like Farah was in MW II)

They're not consistent with their characters in the first place, why give a shit about a promise they made. It'll most likely be implied between games that some shit will be solved, or a line or two in the next game. Just so people get closure.

The surface level rep keeps going throughout. We have a bunch of diversity in the operators, but significantly less in the campaign, where the characters need to be fleshed out more than a written backstory and voiced lines.

How often have they shown Alex properly since he lost his leg?

The dudebro's are pissed that they changed Gaz, a mostly 1-dimensional character that died within the first Modern Warfare. Gaz is a good character, there's no reason that they're pissed about him vs them being pissed about any other member of the task force. But I've seen more hate on Gaz than any other 141. Which sadly leads me to conclude that they probably only dislike him due to his race.

But the aspect that isn't giving me much hope is the phasing out of Gaz in additional content. You're telling me the only POC in the 141 is not included in the red team? Out of all the dudes you could have removed?? Like I'm all for including Farah into the red team; but removing the only person of color on the team, one who was canonically in the Ghost Team mission, isn't the win they think it is.

Not to mention the numerous merch of the 141 that have Ghost, Price, and Soap; but not Gaz. With only 1 design containing Gaz.

And don't come at me that "those are the old designs though!" It's in their current website for sale. The 8-bit design is fairly recent within the last few weeks or so. Gaz is a main character in MW 2019 AND 2022. He deserves more than 1 solo shirt that is just the repurpose of the 141 shirt.

Onto the points brought up by @spookykittenwrites

Ghoap

Either won't be mentioned at all or will be excessively "haha we're just pals" kinda vibes.

They WILL play up the dynamic in trailers and such, as it did bring a new group of people to the games, and it seemed to make the dudebro's happy with their bromance.

Death

None of the main characters will be killed off. There's too much opportunity to make money off of their survival. So far the new games have been very light with the major character deaths. In the original games Soap and Price are the only 2 that survive past 1 game.

Roach

They're not gonna make him mute or selectively mute.

I do think they might bring back Roach to kill him off within the same Game though.

Hell, they might not even bring him back.

Farah and Alex

I honestly hope that we see them together, it might not happen. I think they're gonna keep the Farah/Alex line as the raid focus.

As for the no chemistry thing. Depends. If they're seen for 3.5 seconds they definitely won't. Hell, they aren't technically ever stated to be dating in canon AND the dudebro's get pissed that people are shipping them. Again with the not saying anything that'll upset the target audience.

For the Muslim aspect; not sure they even think about their own characters enough to have her religion mentioned in game. (They can't even get the bios straight when they update the game, I'm not gonna complain about this here)

Laswell's Wife

Important thing to remember, the line about her wife isn't even in every playthrough. It's a hidden one.

No doubt about her never being mentioned in my head. It only got past the dudebros because it's a lesbian couple. If it was a dude talking about his husband I doubt it would have gotten into the game.

US can do no Wrong

Definitely, the entirety of the blame will be on Russians. They did in fact blame a real US warcrime on Russians in the past.

Interestingly enough, the most recent info I can find is that the Military took out their funding post-sexual harassment allegations from Activision-Blizzard in December 2022.

Military Propaganda is still Military Propaganda even if the Military isn't funding it.

Moral of the story? The comfort of the dudebros, the target demographic for the game, will always be priority. They won't risk hurting their profits by claiming a character is queer or putting too much importance on a woman. Whatever their comfort level is, is what that we'll be getting.

I'm gonna stop my rant here... Don't go into the next game hoping to get some good rep.

On a slightly positive note: they are getting better. Farah was genuinely a good character in MW 2019. The fact that there's a mention of a same-sex partner, even in passing, is pretty good.

Also, enjoy the Christmas merch shirts that I found of Price and Ghost.

[visionthefox]

Yeah I hope they make Nice Eclipse a recurring character in the Lunar and Earth Show, I think that from when she was introduced to now she has changed a bit. I also saw somewhere in X that Reed (Moon’s VA) was the one to actually introduce the character Earth.

But yeah the episode is srly funny I love the interaction and of course Lunar reliving trauma, I think my favorite part is the part that’s floating around tumblr, but another one is earlier and Nice Eclipse says something along the lines of “Im not google search” I died laughing from that. The episode is funny.

Concerned for Lunar because he hearing a humming, it can be a response of trying to zone out (Im not a psychologist, therapist, etc) or it has to do with what we saw in one of the episode where Moon goes and looks at Eclipse’s lair and heard a recording about the astral bodies that want Lunar. Idk 🤷‍♀️ we will have to wait and see.

yea yea saw someone sharing his tweet about it, that he wanted to add her - and again, the VA? not at fault here I just dont like the character, how was written -at least in the start, she gaved me terrible bad vibes as I meet ppl like her and.. is not good.. but eh mmh.. I.. I mayyy mayy give it a try to watch that only ep- but I fear I may focus on "what is she doing wrong" what enjoy my man :/ .. but also, I KNOW I give her a lot of shit - but I really try not to, as the fans seems to adore her and find her way of working right..

but-maybe is my nerd ass- maybe I dont turn off my brain as I should while watching the show.. - maybe I let my trauma speak louder and put the blame on a character I just saw 4 clips of.. but so far, I rather not see her, not heard her.. I rather do something I enjoy (watch old gameplays of lore vids) than do something that I may not enjoy as much.. Aside from a rant- if if they add Nice Eclipse to that other show.. I may give it a try- maybe if they bring back the minecrat series!! also also! Lunar! he maybe is zooming out, but that is not fully a bad thing, I do it often when I get a bit distracted

Taking into account that he has gone through moments of anguish for not "feeling anything" and the fear of what happened, if what I read is true and Earth helped him to be more open with his emotions, then it may still be uncomfortable for him..for Lunar to look at Nice Eclipse in the face..

The times he sees Nice Eclipse were at not very happy times, and although Eclipse manages to make him feel calm, it must not be very comfortable right now, which is why he tries to distract himself or be calm with soft sounds.. buuut yea, maybe is the whole astral lights thingy too.. idk

thanks for you ask and time!! <3

[beneathashadytree]

Hello, I really love your writing style and how uou portray the characters perfectly! So I was wondering if you can make an age-gap relationship between with either (you can choose) (Sanji, Zoro, Law, Luffy: separately) and the reader who's like 42, who treats them like a kid but the boy wants to be treated like a man.

Oh yea, the girl's persona is like tomboyish too :>

(I had this girl in mind for the scenario)

Thank youuuu~

AS A MAN - TRAFALGAR LAW X READER

Warnings : a little steamy towards the end, major age gap, this is not proofread, reader identifies as female!

Genre : fluff I think?

Word count : 1.3K words (oops)

Additional info : Thank you for being so sweet! I’m glad you enjoy reading my works💗 Headcanon form was more convenient for this request, because I had to touch upon too many points that I couldn’t go into too much detail in (unless I wanted to end up writing 4K words, that is💀). I personally chose Law for this because major age gaps make me uncomfortable when the person isn’t fully mature yet. Law is the only one who is 25+ years old, which is the age at which the brain fully develops. Otherwise it would feel too predatory for me to be able to write it. I hope this one is to your liking and that you don’t mind this! I got a little creative with it near the end🫣

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp.

Masterlist

Given just how faithful he is to the Hippocratic oath, Law dedicated a good deal of his free time to making advancements in the world of medicine

As a doctor and surgeon, he’s never satisfied with simply taking the facts as they are and using his Devil Fruit to his advantage; no, he very much prefers to sit in his office and toll over research and papers

He’s also allied himself with different pirates over the years, seeking his own benefit and what he ends up getting from their end

Unsurprisingly, he meets all sorts of people, but his bonds with them have always been superficial, if not cold, even

Law’s never been one to think too deeply about whether or not he likes his “business partners” because he simply wasn’t there to fraternize with people

However, once he met her, everything he’d known about his world changed 180 degrees

She was quite a fair bit older than he was, almost two decades his senior, and it showed clearly just how vastly different their ages were in the way that she carried herself

Perhaps it wasn’t the typical maturity most people expected women to have, the stereotypical stuffy seriousness and stuck-up attitude that most noblewomen had, but something about her and the way her eyes trained on everyone showed just how much she’d gone through and seen

As allies, they were forced to interact from time to time, and to Law’s surprise, he didn’t find himself opposed to being in her presence; hell, he sometimes preferred having her around over his solitude with papers and tools in his office

Having her around while he worked had him eager to prove himself, for some odd reason, and eager to prove just what he was capable of doing with his skill set and his knowledge at hand

Maybe it was because she seemed to not think much of him

Not in the sense that she disliked him, or that she looked down on him, but she somehow always treated him as though he were nothing but a mere boy to her, a kid whose efforts were endearing but not necessarily awe-inspiring in their nature

And though he’d tried to deny it for a long while, Law hated the fact that he hadn’t been able to impress her—and that probably was because of the fact that he was so used to people reacting to him and his abilities with a mix of horror and amazement

Her lackluster reactions weren’t at all disrespectful; in fact, she did often express her appreciation for his work as a doctor, warlord, surgeon, pirate, and all-around menace, but she did so in a manner that felt like she was simply praising a child for their newest achievement

She’d even gone so far as to pat his head with a chuckle in an attempt to calm him down after he’d once lost his temper over an inconvenience in the operating room, which he knew she’d done with no malicious intent but had come across as condescending

And Law did understand where she was coming from, seeing as most people in their forties found little to be impressive, after having seen so much—and especially with her being a pirate who’s traveled at least a good majority of the entire world

Her own personality played part in this too, since she seemed to have a laidback sort of effortless swagger that made all men and women alike look up to her

The casualness with which she strutted and her confident smirk was exactly why she fit right in with them, and why they respected her so much

In fact, he himself found himself momentarily stunned every now and then by her mere presence and how overwhelming it sometimes got, and he had to begrudgingly admit that he couldn’t stay away from her due to his immense attraction to everything that she was

But still, the sting left behind every time she cooed at one of his morbid experiments was one that Law couldn’t soothe with his own faith in himself

He had to prove to her just how worthy he was of his title as the Surgeon of Death, and he planned to do it himself before he lost his mind to the fact that she simply didn’t see him as the man that he was

So he tried time and time again to subtly let her sit with him in his office or operating room, often by claiming that he needed an extra helping hand, or that he needed someone to keep watch to make sure that no one would interrupt his work

He hoped that by doing so she would be genuinely interested in his skills, and so impress her

However, Law’s plan seemed to completely backfire when he had her in his office, asking her to organize a stack of incredibly complicated research papers he’d left out on purpose for her to read

As he’d expected, she’d been curious enough to pick them up and ask him to explain what was on them, and he’d smirked a little as he gave her a rundown of the topic at hand while she sat in front of him

She’d gaped at him with awe in her eyes, and he’d believed that he’d finally managed to impress her, that is until—

“For someone so young, it’s incredible how you’ve managed to discover all this.”

And that was when he’d had about enough, and he couldn’t help but snap at her

“I’m not a fucking child. Don’t talk to me like that.”

Once again, his sharp tongue had gotten the best of him, as he could see how she frowned at him while setting his papers down

“Sorry, Law. Didn’t mean to disrespect you as a warlord.”

With an exhausted huff, he rubbed his eyes before finally saying, “That’s not it. It’s not about that.”

Confusion laced her features, and Law took advantage of drawing to his full height and leaning over her, an intense surge of emotions in his hard-set eyes

“I’m not a kid. You’re treating me like one, but you’re forgetting I’m a man. A powerful one at that.”

“I haven’t—“

“Really?” He narrowed his eyes for a moment, before he hummed and leaned in until he could see every single lash and watch every single stunned emotion flicker in her eyes. Part of him reveled in that wicked feeling. “It seems to me like you’ve only ever seen me as someone your junior.”

Despite her warring emotions, she managed to sigh and say, “Law, it’s�� it’s only because you’re younger, and I recognize that you’ve got the youth I left behind years ago.”

With a glint of his teeth that seemed just a little cruel and a little cocky, he allowed his thumb to gently press onto her bottom lip, watching as the red flush climbed up her cheeks at his daring move, certainly having not seen this coming in any which way

“I could very well remind you what it feels like to be young.” His low voice was as tantalizing as a velvety purr, stroking her soft lip. “It’s your choice tonight. Just don’t forget what I’m capable of.”

Though one could read it as a threat, she knew damn well that it was a promise—a very, very tantalizing and delicious promise that had her head spinning

Law’s smirk was all-telling, and he knew that from this day forth she would be unable to remove this new image of him from her mind

Was he too despicable for liking the fact that she would suffer from not being able to stop thinking of him? No matter; he’s never been the most morally righteous, after all

Taglist: @finch-ya @stories-that-shaped-me @wifeofkyojuro @livwritesfics

[selinakidreams]

here’s a lil something for baku (and you) to enjoy on his birthday <3 all apart of the bakugo birthday bash hosted by the lovely @jodrawssmut @phasmwrites @katsukikitten @bakugotrashpanda @lady-bakuhoe @ramen-rambles ! !! thank you guys so much for letting me be apart of this <3

pairing: (established relationship) QUIRKLESS AU kiribaku x fem! reader

word count: 3k+

warnings: alcohol consumption but sober sex, oral (f receiving), mentions of throat fucking, mentions of spit roasting, lots of mentions of spit <3 (and exactly one spit into a mouth), very light degradation, praise

a/n: this is my first time writing with three characters kdjdkdk it’s way out of my comfort zone and I only had 6 days to write it,, but I did it!! trust me I wanted to write more but I actually wanted to make it to baku’s birthday so !! don’t be mad at the endiiiiiiinnnngggg <3

The jazz wafted throughout the empty bar; your silk dress falling from the edge of your seat. It has been a slow night for the bar. You leaned your head into your hand, elbow keeping you sturdy as you swirled the drink around it’s glass cup. 

Your friend's party became a bit too feral for your taste, but you kept your word and stayed as long as you could for the sole purpose of seeing her smile, but then they showed up and you saw yourself out. 

The dim lighting made your eyes droopy with no action to keep your brain going, so you take another swig of your drink before swiveling in your chair to face the other side of the bar. 

Floor to ceiling windows greeted you, giving you the perfect overlook to the twinkling city lights below. It was incredible how your friend could afford a room in this hotel for her party. 

You noticed a movement in the corner of your eye; someone had entered the bar. 

You turn back to face all the expensive drinks displayed on the shelf, the perfect excuse to catch a quick glimpse at him. The contrast of his hair against everything else in the room almost made your eyes pop out of their sockets. 

Platinum blonde hair tufted out like an explosion, a satin red shirt that danced with the warm light of the room, black slacks and from what you could tell, some expensive ass shoes. Too dressy just to be here for some drinks.

Wanting to see more but not willing to fully stare at the man, you signed and waited until it seemed like he got settled on the bar stool before saying, “Is it your party that’s on this floor? It seems like quite the... experience.” 

Your voice came out smooth and velvety to bakugo’s ears, not that he would ever admit it. He scoffed before taking a second to look at the stranger who was daring to talk to him. His first thought settled in his mind and accepted it, almost prompting for silence- waiting to see if you would push to talk to him again.

From what you could tell, he was scanning you up and down. He opened his mouth to say something; his pink plush lips looking extremely inviting as they began to mouth something.

No sound came out for the next few seconds, showing he decided to keep his thoughts to himself. He closed his mouth and took out a phone from his pocket, the screen illuminated his face as he began typing something out. 

With this newfound light, his features became even more alluring- which couldn't be said for most people. Perfect porcelain skin, his profile pointed and devilishly handsome.

He’s well aware that he still held your attention, so when he slid his phone back in his pocket, he responded to your previous question, “yea, that’s the one. I’d rather stick it out instead of hearing them complain about me not going to my own party  for the rest of the week.”

By the end of his sentence, he had a glass of something amber in his hand that seemed to look a lot like whiskey. He didn’t spare you another glance but you could tell he expected to hear a response.

You hummed, slightly nodding your head, “The party I had to go to is upstairs and it’s… a lot. They're all just talking about expensive this and designer that and I couldn't listen to another word so I had to get out of there…” you trailed off at his silence. Noting that the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, you introduced yourself in hopes to continue interacting with him. You knew his type, and you knew in some way, he was going to surprise you. 

“Bakugo Katsuki.” He said in turn.

You slowly nodded before posing another question.

“So Bakugo, not really a party goer?” You attempt to ask, only to get a huff in return.

“not one for small talk either, i see?” You add at the end.

Another few quiet moments go by before he responds

“If I was a party goer, I’d be at my own party wouldn’t I?” He quipped back and your eyebrows shot up as you raised your hands in defense. 

“Well hey, I dunno ! For all I know you could have had a really rough night and this specific bar could be your saving grace. Could possibly use this night to drown your sorrows away behind a whole bottle of what… whiskey?” You say, ushering to his drink before turning to face your own, knowing he probably didn’t like being pegged as such.

“but you wouldn’t do that. You’re a strong man who knows what to do when things get bad, huh?” you continue, sprinkling praise to his dignity. He seemed like the type to prioritize that.

He didn’t do or say much in terms of a response but a small smile grew on your lips seeing how his body suddenly released a bit of the physical tension that was winding up.

You moved a few seats closer to him. If he didn’t like it, he hadn’t said anything. 

“So-'' Interrupted before you could continue the line of questions, Bakugo surprised you by asking, “you think you’re better than your friends? Leaving them and comin’ here to drink alone?” his voice coming out gruff and low.

“No, not one bit. I was the one who planned the whole thing for my friend, it’s just unfortunate that she had to invite all those people who aren’t all that nice to her. I can’t stand them. I’ve told them off more than I can count, but they just brush me off. A group of bullies is one thing, but a group of people who pretends to be friends with you then talks behind your back is another.`` 

Bakugo was quiet, not by astonishment or anger; he seemed to be expressionless as he piped up, “fake people are some of the uglies nobodies out there.”

You turn to look at him before sipping your drink and moving a seat closer. This time Bakugo glanced your way but continued to stay silent. 

“You ever beat someone up?” you ask, resting your chin on your palm, tilting your head towards him.

Your second surprise that night, he chuckled. It was soft, the complete opposite to the demeanor he'd been holding.

“Why? You want me to go in there and beat a few of those assholes up?” his eyes were relaxed by this point, no longer sharp and heavily guarded.

“Only because they don't believe I'm intimidating enough.”

“Maybe because you're not.”

You fake gasped, bringing your other hand up to your heart. “Excuse me sir but I'll have you know that I can be quite the fighter.”

“We’ll see about that.”

You hadn’t realized you got so close to Bakugo until you heard the footsteps nearing you both.  When a handsome voice called out bakugo’s name, you slightly jumped. Putting as much space between the two of you as possible, you looked to the source of the voice. 

Handsome would be an understatement. 

With red bangs that framed his sharp toothy smile perfectly and the rest of his hair tied back in a messy ponytail, this man looked a bit taller than Bakugo with a much warmer aura... but radiated the same type of... manliness. 

“Bakugo, I just got your text- Mina has been dragging me everywhere to make sure your party’s going well. Is this her?” the handsome man asked, a slight indistinguishable gleam flashes in his eye when he looks over to you.

“Yeah, ‘nd i wanna leave now.” he almost pouted before looking over to you. 

“You comin’?” 

Your gaze snapped between the two men, only slightly putting two and two together. 

Red hair spoke up, “He probably didn't explain it well but I'm his boyfriend, Kirishima Eijiro!” he held out his hand cheerfully, listening to your introduction. 

“Not to sound too forward or to make you uncomfortable... but do you wanna come home with us? He texted me earlier saying that there was this hottie in a silk dress and… well…” he trailed off licking his bottom lip as his wandering gaze slowly shifted hungrier, “he wasn't kidding.”

There was a lot happening at once but all that you were thinking was that these two hot men wanted you, and the happy buzz that was coursing through your system couldnt object the offer, so with a quick nod of your head, you were handed a water bottle, guided off of the stool, and into the back of the next taxi they could hail. 

The ride was filled with wandering hands and mischievous looks. Kirishima was whispering naughty promises in Bakugo’s ear that you couldn't quite hear, while your attention focused on the big palm that was making its way to the most heated part of your body. The quick inhales that the blonde took went straight to your core, making you incredibly excited for what the night had to offer. 

As soon as the door swung open, lips were on lips and clothes were coming off. The rush to get to the bedroom was heated and messy but once you all entered the room, there was an intense shift that even you couldn't predict. 

Kirishima spoke first, “So what does my birthday boy want? Does he want to fuck or be fucked?”

With a suck at his teeth, Bakugo knew if he didn’t give an answer soon he’d be met with-

“Better hurry up handsome, or I might just choose for you…” Kirishima hummed, bright crimson eyes hopping on over to meet your gaze, “better yet…”

He was by your side in mere seconds. His huge figure towering over yours, you almost flinched when his bulky fingers grazed up your arm. 

“What if you chose for him?” He purred in your ear loud enough so Bakugo’s ruby eyes found yours. Your name rolled off the red-haired man’s tongue like sweet honey, “go ahead, what do you think he would want more?”

Your gaze flickered between them, you couldn’t tell one or the other’s preferences but if they wanted to use you, they could. 

“How about… Eijiro… you could fuck my throat and Katsuki… could fuck whatever hole he wants?” You ask, the question raising an octave out of uncertainty. 

Kirishima raises an eyebrow towards the man of the hour, slightly amused and completely aroused. 

Bakugo is already smirking,“Atta girl, knows exactly what to say.” 

Kirishima starts to kiss your neck as Bakugo stands in front of you, occupying your lips for the first time that night. 

With one arm wrapped around your waist, he seemed to have rubbed on his boyfriend's bulge before reaching for the zipper of your dress. In turn, the feeling of the Eijiro’s bulge humped your back. 

Whether it was your dress hitting the floor or Katsuki’s tongue slipping in your mouth didn't matter, a sharp gasp escaped your lips, causing Kirishima to chuckle and whisper, “get on the bed, princess.” while Bakugo pulls away from you, a string of spit keeps you connected.

With your gaze lustly hazy, you dreamily make your way to the bed, but not without a little show. Before splaying yourself out on the mattress, you stretch out- almost in the child's pose of yoga except you add a deep arch in your back for the sole purpose of showing off your pretty seamless thong. 

As you reposition yourself, you glance over to the side to find that both men are now only in restricting briefs, eyes glued to your figure, both palming themselves over their boxers. 

Eyes half massed and back flat on the bed, you begin to pout, feeling almost bare without anyone’s hands on you. 

As if on cue, they began to make their way over to you, looking oh so hungry. 

You immediately sat up and swiped your tongue over your bottom lip, pulsating at the prospect of having two seemingly thick dicks at once… but they were still in their boxers. Why?

“Ya have to ask nicely in order to get a treat, you ungrateful slut.” Bakugo growled before taking your jaw in his hand, squishing your cheeks with his fingers. 

“Better yet, beg.” he said with a coldness that heated your core and had your eyes going wide.

Whimpering when he let go, you kept your innocent doe eyes as two sets of starved eyes stared down at you.

“W-wanna get fucked, please. Wanna feel both of you everywhere…” you say as you reach both hands out to palm the silhouette of their bulges. “Please…?” 

There was a “christ” that was muttered out before you were pushed back on the bed by Bakugo, then kirishima manhandled you so that your neck was supported by the edge of the bed, your head mostly hanging off.

Even in the midst of the binding tension, Kirishima didn't hesitate to instruct Bakugo to put a pillow under your hips, the blonde eagerly following through with the demand. 

“How’dyou want Katsuki to prep you, baby? He’s skillful in every sense but he really enjoys using his mouth.” 

The bed shifted and before you could string a thought together, you looked down and lost all ability to think. The sight in front of you was downright sinful. A smirk was pulling at the left corner of his lips as he sunk closer to your clothed pussy, his red gaze now a deep wicked crimson as he watched for your reaction.

You didn't have much time to analyze before a thick hand laced through your hair and ushered your view back to the red head’s now exposed cock. You gulped. 

Not incredibly long, a moderate size but with a juicy girth, Kirishima’s cock had a thick vein trailing up his underside. 

If you could make heart eyes, you're sure that you'd be doing them by now. 

Focused on paying attention to his pretty pink weeping tip, you felt your panties being pushed to the side. As tempting as it was to look down, you kept your sights set on the task at hand. Licking and kissing his cock, mixing your saliva with his precum, you earned a guttural groan from the big man above you, encouraging you to do more, please him more- until a warm muscle was met with your sopping core, causing a high gasp of a vibration to hit Kirishima’s head. 

Your mind stopped reeling for a second- it stopped doing anything to be frank. Your hips mindlessly thrust up in attempts to get more of Bakugo’s mouth. He chuckled against you in response.  

Moans bounced off the walls the deeper you guys got with each arousing movement; slurps coming from your’s and Bakugo’s mouth were the loudest noises in the room- that was until you moved down to pay the much needed attention to Kirishima’s balls. He couldn't seem to take it when you began sucking and fondling, moaning about how full he looked. He let out an obscene whine that you couldn’t believe came from him but when Bakugo pulled his lips from around your clit, you followed the noise with a similar one.

Unlike Kirishima who had stayed still, you tried to push Bakugo’s face back down out of lack of patience. Somewhere along the lines, the dominating rolls have switched, but you couldn't really find it in yourself to trace back to when that happened.

 “You really are a fighter, huh?” he chuckled out before adding, “quit whining shitty hair, you’ll get to fuck her throat once I’m done eating.” 

And with that, he dove right back in, causing you to clench around nothing yet and arch your back to get impossibly closer. In turn, your gaze caught the big desperate pleading eyes looking down at you, nearly begging you to do something... 

You were so dizzy with pleasure that you murmured  a mindless, “I didn't forget about you Eijiro.”,  before using your hands to guide his cockhead back into your mouth to coat it in your saliva then pulling off and spreading it down the rest of his length. He bit his lip and let out a cute “mmph!”, which went straight to your abused core. Wanting to hear more, you began to pump his shaft with your messy fist. 

With everything going on, you didn’t realize how built up you were. At an astounding rate, your climax crashed over you, making you shriek against Kirishima's dick as you attempted to cage Bakugo’s head in with your thighs. What pushed you even further was the death grip Katsuki had on your thighs and the sinful sounds he was making while lapping away at your juices. 

Your hands shot from Kirishima’s cock down to grip Bakugo’s hair, freeing your mouth to pant out breathy praises and a whiney “Katsuki!”.

“Fuck,” Bakugo groaned as he came up from your pelvis once you’ve relaxed, whipping your juices from off of his chin with the back of his hand. 

“Kiri, c’mere, you gotta try this,” he said before pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss over your slumped body. Watching their lips meet and seeing Kirishima’s tongue slip into his lover’s mouth sent a dull throb to your core, even moreso when Kirishima sighed into the kiss while his cock twitched upwards, close to your face. 

When they pulled away, Bakugo gave one more little peck to Kirishima before looking down at you with a mischievous grin. You mentally gather yourself and sit up, already ready to be told what to do next.

“Open up, sweet cheeks.”

You did as you were told with your tongue out on display, unintentionally closing your eyes as a sweet little “aaah” came out on instinct. 

The spit hit your tongue dead on and you had to refrain from automatically swallowing. 

A low whisper about how good you were to Katsuki pulled him out of his daze, his eyes darting away from the new wetness on your tongue. 

“Swallow, slut.” and so you did.

“You're right Kiri, she is such a good girl…  Are you ready to get fucked stupid as your prize?” was the last thing you remember before both of them did exactly that.

[letsgotosaturn]

a thought floated in my mind. i cannot feel deeply for another person anymore. or maybe i’ve never been endowed with such capacity anyway. all this time i’ve only been projecting projecting projecting myself in others and when finally i realize that it doesn’t work, that i’m just naive, that i can never understand how to be genuinely kind, i become far more self-centered.

on the other hand though, i’m starting to accept the narrative (thanks movies) that you can never truly know a person inside out but that shouldn’t be a reason to not care for them 

Exhibit A

"I didn't truly understand her--or at least some crucial part of her. And it may well end that way now that she's dead and gone. Like a small, locked safe lying at the bottom of the ocean. It hurts a lot."

"But Mr. Kafuku, can any of us ever perfectly understand another person? However much we may love them?”

- setir mobilku

Exhibit B

“She says even though we love each other, she'll never know everything about me, and I'll never know everything about her. It's just the way it is.“

- yuk, yuk

i always felt that it is a prerequisite. but i guess it’s just my way of delegating my own task, of trying to understand and accept who i am, to someone else. for the most part, i felt uncomfortable being in my own skin. maybe i’m too harsh on myself though; some gentle comments from closest people i rely on have actually made me believe that. again again again i come back to this. just a typical i know my problem i know what i should do, i just need to be reminded. 

ok circling back to my ego problem laid out at the top. i think i’m just too engrossed in feeling like i’m a bad person and just accept that i am not kind simply cause i can’t fully understand a person, feel what they feel. there’s supposed to be a difference between empathy and sympathy, shit i forgot which is which but one refers to understanding/acknowledging other people’s feelings from my own lens, but not sharing the feeling through and through. i think it’s sympathy [yep just googled. sly baastard]. there’s a distance in sympathy, and come to think of it maybe it’s more respectful that way. or at least that’s the first response for any major events that happens to who you consider friends. 

so yea maybe not empathizing is fine, and i shouldn’t act like i know how they’d feel anyway because what i’d be doing is exactly projecting my feelings. whatever the ingredient is. most likely it’s my own personal view/experience and what i think movie characters would do. jess & det asked when i wailed to them, respectively, once “do you want me to listen or do you want me to give a solution?” iya ini gak apple-to-apple with the whole sympathy empathy thing hahaha just popped up in my head. but by acknowledging a number of variables, like the ever changing role you play in a person’s life, understanding that distance will always be there because you’ll never know a person by the book, could be nice [read: BEING REALISTIC]. i’m lucky to have felt i was surrounded by people who care enough, who knows how to help me dissect and reframe my problems.. knowing that they know makes me feel like imparting a bit of me, that i matter enough. i wish i could have reciprocate. i dont think i have the ability to ask the right questions to help, to even dare to ask a person whether they’d want me to listen or to give a solution. always felt like all i can do is feeeeeel and not elaborate on my feelings hence to only rely on that every time a person confides in me or worse, project them to people. but i guess i’m taking a step back now - not offering anything revolutionary, just to tell them i’m there. i think i finally get it, a little too late.

[reevesdriver]

Watch & Learn: Part 2 (NSFW)

Word count: 2836

Character(s): Boba Fett & Din Djarin

Reader: Female reader

Warning(s): NSFW / 🔥🔥🔥 / Smut / Oral Sex (M&F Receiving) / Threesome Sex / Vaginal Sex / Anal Sex / Double Penetration / Vulgar Language / Possessive Behaviour / Degrading Language / Mentions of Pain

Part 1

“Did you enjoy it?”

That line played in Dins head over and over again as he tucked his cock back into his pants and picked up his helmet walking away from your room and to the refresher, shutting the door behind him he tried to steady his breathing.

Splashing some cold water on his face he cleaned himself up before exiting the refresher only to catch eyes with Boba who was leaving your room with only his lower body covered by his clothes and armour. An uncomfortable silence fell upon the ship and Din excused himself to the cockpit but before he could shut the door behind him Boba was pushing his way into the small space to accompany the mandalorian.

“I didn’t mean to-” Din begins standing up straight as he speaks to the bounty hunter.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Boba interrupts taking Din by surprise. “Did you enjoy it or not?”

“Well yea-”

“I already know you enjoyed it that’s why you stayed, fucked your hand whilst you watched her cum around my cock and brought yourself to release as she faced you. I don’t blame you though, I've watched her multiple times with other men and most times when she’s been on her own and used her fingers to cum.” Boba ranted.

Din’s face flushed red as he felt himself starting to get hard again at the thought of watching you masturbate but the imposing, and barely clothed, Boba was making him push the thoughts to the back of his head.

“I know she wants you. I’ve heard her mutter your name whilst she’s sleeping and she’s had to stop herself from saying it a few times whilst I fucked her. My advice is to go for her whilst she’s still interested, little kittens like that get distracted easily.” Boba spoke and with that he turned and left the cockpit heading to the refresher to get himself cleaned up before retiring to his room.

Din didn’t go to bed that night, he slept in the cockpit with the door locked and only unlocked it when he woke up a few hours later to the sound of your voice greeting Boba on the other side of the door. Oh how sweet you sounded, your voice ever so slightly deeper and croaky from your long sleep. Boba entered the cockpit now fully dressed in his armour with his helmet placed over his head as he takes a seat next to Din, holding your wrist he pulls you down with him.

“Don’t you think these shorts look sexy on her Djarin?” Boba asks making you giggle softly as he pull you into his lap. You look at Din and begin to laugh nervously before standing up and leaving the cockpit as it fell silent.

There were little things like that which Boba had started to do that you’d picked up on, things like resting his hand on your thigh or lower back when you were close to one another as well as lifting his helmet and pressing kisses to your forehead when Din was in the room or even giving your ass or tits a squeeze here and there, all actions which appeared to make the younger bounty hunter tense up from what you assumed was because he was uncomfortable.

It was only when you and Din were in the ship alone that you’d finally realised why he was acting different with you. Boba had left to get supplies leaving the pair of you alone much to your disappointment since you wanted to gather some things for yourself whilst you were out but Boba insisted that you stay and give him a list of what you wanted.

After giving him a quick kiss on the side of his helmet Boba left and you went to sit in the cockpit checking on the navigation equipment and seeing if anything needed repairing. Din was sat in the pilots seat and from his statue-like position you assumed that he was sleeping, that was until you saw him tense up as you sat in the passengers seat next to him.

You felt his eyes linger on you despite his helmet not moving an inch to the side as you tried to get comfortable in the leather chair. “Um, are you ok Din?” You ask nervously.

“Yes.” The deep modulated voice retaliates sternly.

You squint your eyes at him clearly noticing that there was something wrong with him. “Are you sure? You seem really tense recently.”

“I said I’m fine.”

“Ok.”

Silence fell in the cockpit once again, you spent a few minutes contemplating whether to press him further and decided that your need to know what was wrong with him was greater than the possibility of irritating him.

“Have, I done something wrong?” You say turning your head fully to look at him.

“Look, why don't you fuck off and go wait until Fett gets back so you can bother him instead!” He couldn’t stop the words falling out of his mouth in time but he watched your smile drop and eyes well up with tears as you stood from your chair and stormed out of the room.

“Wait Y/N I’m sorry.” He says as he stands and follows you out of the cockpit as quickly as he can trying to catch up to you as you’re almost halfway through the ship. “Y/N stop I didn't mean it.”

You were much quicker than him so you were able to get in your room and partly close the door behind you before Din grabbed a hold of the sliding door shoving it back open making the mechanism inside whir with unease as he forced it open shoving his body through it as you back away from the Mandalorian as much as possible.

“I-I-I didn’t mean to annoy you. I-I’m sorry.” You stutter, cowering against the wall as Din rests his hands on the metal either side of you.

“It.” He sighs trying to carefully choose his words this time. “It’s not your fault. You’re right I have been tense recently and I'm sorry for scaring you.”

“It’s ok. I just didn’t expect to hear something like that from you, Boba yes because he says stuff like that all the time but not from you Din.”

Moving his hands to your face you flinch thinking he might hit you but instead he hold your cheeks and wipes the tears that had rolled down them with his thumb. “I’m sorry Y/N.”

“I forgive you.” You sniffle and before he has time to reply your arms wrap around his body squeezing him as you press your weight against him. “You still feel tense.” The palms of your hands are resting flat against his shoulders. “Can I help you relax?”

“Yes, I'd like that, please. Only if you want to.” He felt his cheeks flare up with warmth at the possibility that he may finally get to have you and it was you instigating it and not him.

“Sit down.” Din does as you command and sits on the edge of the bed resting his palms flat against his thighs as he watches you move some things around the room, tidying it up a little, before coming over to him and dropping to your knees between his legs. 

“Relax.” You say pushing his hands off his thighs making him lean back on his elbows as you remove his boots, push his cod-piece to the side and start to unbutton his pants.

His cock is big, not as big as Boba's, but then no man you’ve been with has even been bigger than Boba, but it’s still long and thick matching the rest of him in both size and colour. You take his warm cock into your equally warm hand and start to stroke him smiling as it only takes a few seconds before he’s rock hard and throbbing against your palm.

“Wait.” He speaks suddenly as he sits up and grabs your hands stopping them form moving any further. “You want to do this don't you?”

“Of course I do, why would I not?” You reply and Din shrugs at your question relaxing back down to his elbows as you take the tip of his cock into your mouth

“Ah!” He whines taking you by surprise, looking up you see his helmet tilted downwards. “Sorry, it’s been a while since anyone's done this.” He explains and although you feel like asking him how long it’s been just to tease him you choose not to still fearing that he would shout at you again.

“You don’t need to be sorry.” You reply. 

Taking his cock back into your mouth you use one hand to stroke the rest of the shaft that you can’t fit in and the other to gently tug on his balls. Removing his gloves Din throws them onto the floor and brushes a hand over your head before resting it on the back as you start to bob on his cock.

“Having fun without me Princess?” A loud voice speaks from the doorway of the room causing Din to jump, grab your head and thrust his cock upwards into your mouth making you gag.

You cough wiping the tears that had formed in your eyes from gagging as you turn your body and head to look at Boba whilst still holding Dins cock in your hand. “I thought you weren’t going to be back until later?”

“It was a quick stop, didn’t want to miss all the fun but I assume you’ve just got started.” He explains. Turning your attention back to the mandalorian you press your tongue flat against the tip of his cock and start to stroke him again looking up at his helmet as you ask “Are you ok with this Din? With Boba being here?”

“Yes.” He replies and leans back onto his elbows when you take his cock back in your mouth.

Boba steps into the room and closes the door behind him as he removes his helmet and places it on the floor then removes his boots putting them next to the metal bucket along with the rest of his armour and under-clothing leaving him in only his underwear. “Don’t make him cum yet little one.” Boba says as he watches you gag on Dins cock trying to fit it all in your mouth whilst your hands grab and grope the rest of his exposed skin.

“I feel a little left out here Princess.” Boba whines as he climbs onto the bed and sits with his back against the wall, his underwear tented by his heavy cock.

Releasing Din’s cock from your mouth with a pop you stand up and quickly, but seductively, remove your clothes being sure to put more emphasis on what you’re removing when exposing your private parts to both men.

Din admires your body reaching out to grab ahold of anything he could reach as you twirl to show him all of your body. Standing up to join both you and Boba in your nakedness Din moves to the other side of the room and faces the wall to remove his helmet so he can undress whilst Boba man-handles you onto his lap so your back is to the fellow Mandalorian partly so he can have you to himself for a few seconds to minutes but also so that you’re respecting the creed by not seeing Din’s face. He grabs at your breasts, pinching and tugging your nipples whilst your lips are pressed against his and your hands rest on his shoulders.

You feel the mattress dip and turn to see Din climbing onto the bed next to you, now fully naked expect for the Beskar helmet that remains over his head. Boba releases his grip on your nipples as you launch yourself off his lap and over to Din whilst he lays back on the bed resting his head on his arm, watching you crawl over to him.

Boba gives your ass a firm slap as you straddle Din’s lap holding his cock in your hand, sinking down onto the length, and gasping as he stretches you out more than you could’ve ever imagined. His cock is sheathed inside of you and pushing against the end of your vaginal canal sending a quick shooting pain up your body making you whimper.

“F-Fuck cyar'ika.” Din sputters holding your hips as you begin to move up and down his cock, your juices dripping down his shaft as you soak both his cock and the curled patch of pubes with your cum.

“D-Din, let me kiss you.” You say resting your hands on his chest and your forehead on the smooth part of his helmet as he sits up pushing back up.

Boba is already reaching for a blindfold in one of your drawers and sliding it around your head before Din even has a chance to reply. Din waits until Boba is done tying the cloth around your head and waves in front of your eyes to try and check whether you can see or not before he takes his helmet off.

Your lips are slightly swollen and pushed into a pout only relaxing when Din holds your face in his hands and kisses your lips. The action feels intimate, somehow far more intimate than having his thick cock tucked inside of you and seeping pre-cum.

“You never kiss me like that mesh’la.” Boba speaks, large hands resting on your hips as you swirl your tongue in and out of Dins mouth.

“You never give me chance to.” You reply with a smile leaning back until Boba’s chest is pressed flat against your back, his hands coming up to grab your breasts as you grind down onto Dins cock.

“If Din gets your pussy will you let me fuck your asshole Princess?”

“Anything for you Boba.”

One of Boba’s large and scarred hands moves up to the centre of your back pushing you down so your breasts are flat against Dins chest. You hear the older bounty hunter spitting onto, what you assume was, his fingers lubing them up before sliding a slick digit against your puckered hole. The sensation of boba’s fingers in your ass wasn’t new since he’d slid a thumb or so in every now and then when he fucked you from behind but he’d never used his fingers and he certainly never scissored them to open you up more.

You’re mewling against Dins lips as Boba stretches your asshole more and more adding another finger each time you relax until he was satisfied that you would be able to take all of his cock with little to no pain.

Boba lines himself up at your entrance tutting as Din thrust upwards a few times to give you and himself a bit more pleasure as Boba starts to push into your ass. Both men moan as they feel one another through the thin wall between your cunt and ass clearly fighting for dominance as they try to decide who leads the rhythm though the un-organised thrusting is sending you spiralling with pleasure.

Eventually they both find the perfect rhythm for the three of you, as Din thrusts up Boba pulls out and when Boba pushes back in then Din pulls out so that no matter what you remain filled. You can’t tell which hands are Dins and which are Bobas as both men desperately grip your body whilst they kiss and suck any piece of skin that isn’t being occupied by the other.

Almost as soon as the rhythm started it was lost when both men began thrusting in and out of you at the same time moaning and grunting as they used your holes to bring about their own pleasure after milking multiple orgasms from you. Boba came first slamming his hips very roughly into you turning your asscheeks red and bruises them whilst, a few seconds later, Din followed bellowing a loud moan in your ear as he cums deep inside of you secretly hoping that his seed is good enough to impregnate you but also not being bothered if it doesn't.

You’re all panting as both cocks soften inside of you eventually dropping out as you collapse onto the bed beside Din somehow managing to avoid landing on him since the blindfold is still fastened around your head. Boba falls behind you instantly wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you against him kissing the back of your neck and mumbling something you can’t make out. After a few minutes of steady breathing you feel Din start to stir as he sits up, about to move off the bed, when he feels your dainty hand grabbing his arm.

“Please Din stay.” You say with the softest tone he’d ever heard you use as he reached for the light switch flicking it off and reaching to take off your blindfold.

Throwing it to the floor Din smiles as you pull him closer to you since Boba has you in a death grip and won't let you move any closer to the other mandalorian. Din obliges and shuffles closer to you turning onto his side so he’s facing you as he can briefly make out your face in the darkness hoping that you can't see his as the three of you fall into a post-sex slumber. 

[sincerelyella]

RAMifications Chapter 3 -  I Can Love You Like That

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella); Drake x Alyssa Devereaux

Song Inspiration: I Can Love You Like That by All-4-One

Characters belong to Pixelberry; MC Ella Brooks belongs to me; Alyssa Devereaux was created by the brilliant mind of @burnsoslow

A/N: This entire idea came from Burnsy and her unBEARable series featuring her OTP Drake and Alyssa. This is Ella’s backstory and how she met the love of her life King Liam of Cordonia. This doesn’t follow much of TRR books, there is still a social season but not all of the players are present. Throw canon out the window! 

Thank you to @burnsoslow​ for pre reading/commenting/calming my crazy self down. You know I freaking love you!

If you have not read unBEARable by @burnsoslow ​(catch up here) I suggest you go and read that first. There are SPOILERS in this series!

Catch up on RAMifications here

Warnings: Adult language

Words: 2195

After Ella had left the palace Alyssa turned to Drake. “I have an idea!” she ran to her bedroom with Drake helplessly following behind her.

“What’re you up to Devereaux?”

As soon as both of them were safely in the bedroom she prattled off her idea excitedly. “Okay so, what if we could get Ella to switch places with me in the social season? That way, she can compete for Liam and we could be together, like not in secret?”

Drake opened his mouth to protest, but immediately closed it again and a thoughtful look passed through his features. “Uh, wow, that’s a … good idea actually.” He stepped up to her and carefully held both her hands in his. “I would literally do anything to be with you out in the open, Lyssa,” he murmured softly to her.

Alyssa melted at his words and stood on her tiptoes to try to kiss him. Since she was so damn short, she couldn’t reach his mouth. She pouted and then puckered her lips so Drake could kiss them. He chuckled and leaned down to meet her lips, his tongue automatically sliding into her mouth and they stayed that way, trapped in a passionate kiss, for several seconds.

Alyssa pulled back quickly with a gasp. “We have to talk to Liam! And I have to text Maxwell and take care of this!”

Drake ran his hands down to her thighs, lifted her up while she shrieked in surprise and dropped her onto the bed. “Okay, but I’m going to take care of you first,” he growled in her ear. Alyssa shivered, bit her lip and smiled up at him while he hovered over her.

“Well, if you insist …”

**

In Liam’s quarters two hours later

“Li, there’s something we need to talk to you about.”

“The last time you both needed to talk to me …” Liam looked uncomfortable.

“No, no! It’s nothing like that!” Alyssa quickly butted in. “I actually had an idea about the social season,” she bit her lip and looked at Drake, who gave her a nod of encouragement. “I am so grateful to you for all you’ve done to allow me to stay here. But, if I could stay in Cordonia and still give you another shot at a bride …“

Liam furrowed his brow. "What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’m wasting a spot as a potential suitor. I want you to find your happily-ever-after too, Liam. So, I was thinking,” she took in a deep breath. “… that maybe Ella and I could switch places. That way, she can compete to be your queen.”

Liam took in Alyssa’s idea, brows wrinkled in thought. “Ella … replaces … you …” he trailed off, talking to himself. “If … if this is going to happen, we would need to speak with Duke Ramsford and Lord Beaumont.” Liam looks up at Alyssa with a small smile. “I’m not sure how Bertrand would like the situation, but I’m sure Maxwell would be open to it.” His smile abruptly fades and his eyes widen. “Did you talk with Ella about it? What if she doesn’t want this? What if she thinks this whole thing is ridiculous?”

Liam started to panic, he ran his hands through his thick, blonde hair and stared, wide eyed, at Drake and Alyssa.

“I haven’t spoken with Ella since earlier this afternoon, Liam,” Alyssa gave him a reassuring smile. “But I’m sure she’ll be back tomorrow … right?” Liam nodded. “Okay! So I’ll talk to her then and explain everything.” Alyssa clapped her hands in excitement. “Oh. My. God. I am soooo excited!”

Drake stepped forward and clapped Liam on the shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Li. Let Devereaux work her magic, everyone she talks to becomes her friend.”

Liam nodded again, still at a loss for words. He was half panicked but also half relieved he may be able to be with Ella. This could work …  please work.

Drake and Alyssa hung out for a bit then left for the night and Liam got ready for bed. 

**

Ella sat in her pharmacology class, taking notes while listening to her instructor discuss different medications of the nervous system.

“Benzodiazepines are a class of anxiety medications and many end with -pam except for chlordiazepoxide …”

All of a sudden she felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned to see a good looking man with light brown hair smiling at her.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but do you have a pen I could borrow?” He whispered. “Mine ran out of ink.” Ella nodded, rifled through her backpack and found another pen. She turned to hand it to him and his smile widened. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” she whispered with a smile and turned back in her seat.

After class was over, the man that sat behind her came and stood next to her desk. “Hi, I’m Alex, thanks for letting me borrow this.”

“I’m Ella,” she smiled up at him. “No problem, I have a ton of them. You can have that one if you need it.”

Alex sighed in relief. “Oh my God thank you, I have med-surg after this and I don’t have a pen.”

“Oh, you have that class too?”

Alex nodded. “Yea with Professor Laurent. Are you headed that way? Maybe we could walk together … so we don’t get lost?”

Hmm, nice line. Ella smirked. “Yeah, sure, let’s go.”

The two of them walked to class together and sat side by side for the 3 hours of lecture. Afterwards, they were gathering their things when Alex turned to her.

“Hey, I was wondering if maybe I could take you out for dinner? Or coffee? Or … maybe a drink?”

How adorable. Ella giggled. “Sure … coffee? Or a drink? Or dinner? Which one?” She smiled up at him, knowing he was nervous.

“Uh … any. All of the above?” he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, it’s 5 pm now, we can go grab a drink if you want?”

Alex’s face brightened. “Yeah! Let’s go, I know a good place.” He led her out towards where he parked his car. Ella knew that Liam probably called her work with a delivery, she bit her lip and thought about cancelling on Alex. No! You can’t wait around for someone that said kissing you was a mistake. She sighed and continued to follow Alex.

**

Liam was walking down the hallway from his quarters with a frown on his face. He had called the flower truck as usual and the man on the phone told him Ella was unavailable to deliver tonight. She doesn’t want to see me. He was so lost in thought that he walked right past Alyssa and Drake; he didn’t even hear them calling out to him.

Drake caught up with Liam and grabbed his arm. “Liam! Are you okay?”

Liam turned. “Oh, I’m sorry, Drake. What were you saying?”

“We said hi and have you seen Ella yet?”

He turned to fully face Drake and Alyssa and sighed. “She’s not delivering flowers tonight,” he said quietly.

“Why not?” Alyssa said with a concerned look as she stepped towards Liam.

He just shrugged. “The man that answered the phone just said she wasn’t available.”

Alyssa waved her hand in the air. “I’m sure she’s got other things to do tonight, Liam. Not that she doesn’t want to see you or anything.” She looked up at him and saw the disappointment in his eyes.

“Hey, why don’t we go to the beer garden? We can invite Beaumont?” Drake looked at Alyssa and they had a silent conversation with their eyes.

“Uh, yeah! That’s a great idea! I’ll call him.” Alyssa stepped away to invite Maxwell.

Liam let out a breath and nodded. “Okay, let’s go.”

The three of them piled into an SUV with Bastien and took off towards the capitol.

**

Alex had brought Ella to a beer garden, and for the last couple of hours they were having a good time. She didn’t expect this to be going so well, and it was a nice way to stop thinking about Liam.

“So, how many classes do you have left before you graduate?”

“I have three I believe,” Ella pondered for a minute. “Actually I take that back, I think I have four left.”

“Me too, maybe we’ll have the same ones and get to see each other more,” he smiled flirtatiously.

“Maybe,” she smiled back and looked at her watch. “Hey, I’ve got to get going, I want to get some studying done tonight.”

Alex nodded in agreement. “Me too, let’s get out of here.” They both rose from the table and walked outside towards Alex’s car.

**

Liam, Drake and Alyssa were waiting to get out of the SUV and head to the beer garden when Liam turned his head and saw Ella with a man walking to a parked car. His eyes widened as he continued to stare at the man opening the car door to let Ella into the front seat. He quickly turned back to face forward. “I know why Ella couldn’t make the delivery tonight.”

“Why?” Drake and Alyssa said simultaneously.

“She was out on a date,” he gestured towards the beer garden. “I saw them leaving together.”

“You don’t know if it was a date, Liam, maybe they were in there as friends?” Alyssa looked at Drake and nudged his shoulder to say something.

Drake shot her a look, she looked back at him with a glare, then he sighed in defeat. “Li, you don’t know if that was a date. I’m sure she’ll be able to work tomorrow and deliver the flowers.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be ordering them anymore,” he mumbled.

“What?” Alyssa yelped. “Liam! Do you like her or not?”

He nodded.

“Okay, then we put our plan into action! She feels something for you, Liam. I know she does! I saw her face when she told me you kissed her!”

Still feeling unsure about the whole thing but wanting to drop the conversation entirely, Liam nodded again. “Okay.”

The three friends got out of the SUV and made their way into the beer garden to meet Maxwell.

Drake went to get the first round of drinks while Liam and Alyssa sat at a booth. “Okay,” she said excitedly. “So, I told Max about our plan. He’s totally fine with it, it’s just getting Bertrand on board that may be a challenge.”

“Hey guys! Look who I brought with me!” Liam and Alyssa turn to see Maxwell with a frowning Bertrand.

“Hey Bertrand! Nice to see you,” Alyssa chirped.

“Hello,” Liam greeted him softly.

Maxwell and Bertrand sat down and Bertrand cleared his throat. “I heard of the plan you’re devising, Lady Alyssa. How do you even know that this will work? Or if this woman is even … suitable?” he hissed. “As I said when I first met you, I do not want House Beaumont to be a laughingstock.”

Just then, Drake returned with some drinks and sat next to Alyssa. “What’s going on?”

Alyssa leaned forward in the booth and stared at Bertrand. "I have told Liam that I love Drake. There is zero chance Liam will choose me at the end of the social season. If you want the odds in your favor then swap me out for Ella.”

The table got tense all of a sudden, nobody saying anything or making a move. It was just Bertrand and Alyssa in a staredown. Bertrand relented. “Alright,” he sighed. “If this woman is someone you want in your social season, Your Highness, then Maxwell and I will sponsor her in place of Lady Alyssa.”

Everyone cheered.

Liam pat Bertrand’s upper arm. “Thank you, Your Grace. I … I do want Ella in my social season.”

“Yes! Thank you, Bertrand! Now we just need to get Ella onboard!” Alyssa lifted her glass in the air. “A toast! To Prince Liam and his new … suitor!”

“Hear, hear!” They clinked glasses and concocted a plan to talk with Ella the next day.

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

[muthaz-rapapa]

[Disclaimer: This is just my personal opinion, I'll try my best to express it without make it sound rude. And you can disagree with me].

I understand Laura is your favorite character and she's been great so far, but for me I have a love-hate relationship with her. Like I said, Laura's a great mermaid-now turned human character, she really showed her care and determination to help her friends, especially Manatsu. However, there's a part of her that really annoys me and that's her tsundere side. I reaaally hate tsundere characters, not only they're annoying and irritating to the point I want scream and slap at them but they also comes off as rude b*tches. Now I know not all tsunderes are like that, in fact, there are some well-written tsunderes that I really like (Rin Tohsaka from Fate/stay night) because at least I know why they act like that and I relate to them. In Laura's case, in episode 16, it really frustrates me that she didn't open up to her friends and expressed her desire to become human to spend more time with them. Why? Was she too embarrased to tell them? Was it because she was still a proud mermaid?

Nevertheless, while she's not officially my favorite character, I still think she's a great character and I respect her.

[Of course I can disagree with you! You have your own opinion and I have mine, after all. Not being rude, btw, just thought it was funny that I was told I can disagree on my own blog, lol 😅]

Cool. 😀 No, really. I get it. You can totally respect something or someone but still not like them for whatever reasons you may have. Like, take my feelings towards Haruka (Go!Pri) or Hana (Hugtto) for example. I thought their arcs were very well done and inspiring and I greatly respect the people they've grown into by the end of their respective seasons. But up till today, I can't say that I favor them as characters. I don't dislike them or anything. I just don't love them.

And I'm okay with that.

For Laura, we all knew from the beginning that she was going to be problematic. And even though she's come quite a way since then, her flaws (arrogance, selfishness, the tendency to revert to tsun mode when she's too proud to admit her faults) are still glaringly present. It's only natural that those flaws are going to bother some viewers while also serving as a source of entertainment for others. Nobody can tell you how to feel towards a certain character. But it remains your responsibility to understand them and yourself to the best of your own ability. If you want to try to come around and it works, then that's great. But if you're still bothered by their behavior or actions and such, then that's perfectly fine, too. You have your reasons and you at least took time to find them. That's already more than what a lot of people are willing to try.

Just be smart and honest with yourself, make your peace with it and move on. And we're only at ep 18 so far, not even halfway through the season yet so who knows. Maybe Laura has more story to tell, more development to go through and more changes to undergo before the end. Maybe she doesn't and this is how she's always going to be from now on. Haughty and demanding but deep down, possesses a good heart. But the matter of whether you can accept Laura fully or not after all that's done is still entirely up to you. I won't judge you on your preferences because I wouldn't want someone judging me for favoring Laura either.

Now, regarding the tsundere issue, I'm in a similar boat.

Tsundere are not my cup of tea. I even hated them for a while.

But these days, it really depends on how well the character is written.

This is a trope after all. It should not take up 100% of the character's composition because that would just be terrible writing.

A good tsundere would have their tsun traits support their overall character, adding charm to their personality rather than dominating it and leaving no room for anything else on their profile.

Rin Tohsaka (she's awesome, I love her, omg QUEEN 😍) is one of the prime examples on how a tsundere should be done properly. It gives her such an adorable side to appreciate but doesn't take away from her incredibly complex story and intrigue as an individual.

For Precure, it's a trickier business because like I always say, Toei is very reluctant to move away from the archetypes they heavily rely on every single year.

You have to learn to look past that mold in order to see what makes this character so special, what makes them stand apart from the rest who look and/or act similarly to how they do. You need to really dissect them from head to toe in order to determine if they carry a quality you think you can get hooked onto.

Laura is not the worst tsundere I've come across but she is admittedly not the best either. Again, because it's easy to fall back on common and established patterns and the writers amped up those aspects because it's something every anime fan is already familiar with.

However, that doesn't mean Laura's a low grade tsundere. Her confidence and straightforwardness comes from her pride as a mermaid and desire to become Queen. From that angle, they can be seen as positive traits because it means she's not a pushover and sticks strongly to her beliefs.

But when she talks condescendingly to others, acts all superior because she's a mermaid and then tries to hide behind her pride as mermaid, that's when it's a problem. However, even that you can make some sense of if you put yourself in her shoes fins. She spent the first 10 or so episodes constantly bragging about how great she is and how much better mermaids are than humans. For some as prideful as Laura to take that all back just because she recently shifted lanes after learning that humans aren't so bad, it's actually a lot harder than you think. Frankly, it'd make less sense for her to open up so readily about wanting to become human than it would for her to deny she wants to become human. Learning to be honest takes time.

Also, her forthrightness comes in conflict with her trouble on recognizing that she is not indeed perfect...which is what activates her tsun wall. It's a defense mechanism. She doesn't want others to poke fun at her. It's uncomfortable especially when she can't even face herself yet.

But at least she's doing that less and less, though. The patronizing attitude, that is. She only boasts about being a mermaid now and doesn't put others down just because they're not mermaids like her.

Ep 18 plays up her tsun mostly for laughs as well.

From my perspective, it seems the humiliation she experienced on her first day of school (for overestimating herself and being completely unprepared for human lifestyles) was meant to humble her and deflate her ego after the novelty of school blew it up.

Except that only worked so much to a certain degree and Laura's still rather dishonest about her own feelings (read: embarrassed) that she has to go through such roundabout ways just to convey to her friends that "Yea, I want to be with you guys in the same club, that was my intention all along!"

It's annoying, yes, but also funny, too, to see Laura flounder about on land. 😆 And it's definitely a step forward rather than back so we should take that to mean Laura's still progressing towards becoming a better person than she is now. Hopefully.

But yea, like I said earlier, you make your own calls on your own opinions. And I respect that. 🙂👍

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 14th, Saturday 19:48

„Oh my god. It is all Sander’s fault. I didn’t mean to vent on purpose. Nooo.“ Robbe whined into his microphone as he had been succsessfully voted off by the remaining three crewmates. Jens wasn’t one of them, he had been killed cold-blooded by his best friend in the first minute behind the goddamn tank. His body had never been found, to everyone’s surprise as his name had been greyed out with Aaron’s murder discovered a moment after.

They always switched back between games to their zoom chat, while the players remained in the lobby, waiting for a new session to start. So Jens did.

„I have literally done nothing.“ Sander laughed, kissing the top of Robbe’s head, before resting his chin back on top of the mop of hair, staring again onto the pages of his book. If the couple was one thing, it was physical and clingy. Both of them, not one better than the other. Jens thought amused, watching Robbe struggeling to reach for something out of frame. 

He was sitting between Sanders legs, his back against his boyfriend, who had wrapped his arms around Robbe’s middle, reading a book he hold in his hands resting in Robbe’s lap. Who himself had his laptop placed as close as possible up on his legs. The mouse probably on his right side in order to play. To Jens it looked a bit messy and uncomfortable, but they didn’t seemed to mind. If he was honest he had seen them in weirder positions before. Fully clothed. Luckily. 

„No I’m pretty sure you are to blame.“ Robbe insited, but grinning, knowing he was just looking for any excuse he could get. And his poor boyfriend was around to take it. Obviously Sander did without batting an eye.

„Well, then it must be true. Please accept my deepest apologies.“ His best friend, for the love of god, giggled in response. An unjustified righteous smile on his lips. Another kiss pecked onto his temple as Sander leaned around, as much as it was him allowed to from that angle.

„God, I’m not single, but if I do feel like it right now.“ Zoë voiced what many probably thought, Jens included. Not even Senne argued her case. Both boys, Sander and Robbe, dared to shrug almost simultaniously, causing them to be even more assured of their superiority.

Sometimes Jens thought they needed to be reminded that the world wasn’t just turning for them, but on the other hand they also were the slight proof that fated love might really exist.

„Another?“ Jana asked, absolutely addicted to the game. It had been a spontaneous idea really, as the broerrrs were contemplating what to upload to their channel if they all couldn’t meet up together to shoot something. So gaming it was. And from there it kinda spiralled into all of them now deeply engrossed in round after round of Among Us. They had footage for days.

„Fuck yea!“ Moyo exclaimed, followed by everyone nodding, before he added: „Had anyone heard anything from Lucas or Luca?“

It sounded a bit funny, a bit like a broken record at the end.

„Lucas posted something about his mom, I think.“ Amber said, looking for her phone to check. Jens knew that Lucas had texted them that he was out for today’s group plans. Jens also knew that it definitely was because of his mom. She was home til tomorrow and Lucas had been so excited, chatting away on the phone while he cleaned his flat in anticipation this morning.

Jens had done laundry in the meantime, both of them almost shoked when Lucas’s frontdoor was opened. They had talked for over two hours. About nothing really. So they quickly had bid goodbye, Lucas promising to come over late tomorrow, after he had brought his mom back to the hospital. Jens already missed him. 

„He has plans with his mother.“ Senne confirmed, having been faster than Amber. „And Luca told us, she’d join us at eight. Which would be almost now.“

„Then I’d say let’s wait for her? I’m gonna get something to drink, all the yelling in chat while voting is not good for my throat.“ Yasmina declared, already leaving her seat at her desk and walking away.

„Oh Robbe, I actually wanted to ask you something.“ Jens was reminded out of nowhere suddenly, catching the full attention of his best friend, who looked at him expectantly. So he continued: „My mom wanted to invite you over for dinner. She misses you, I think. And I suggested to her that we could all cook something together. If that’s alright with you, how does Tuesday sound?“

„Sounds great.“ Robbe agreed, Sander’s eyes glancing up from his book.

„Just this once, and he better be returned in perfect condition.“ Sander demanded, like the overprotective boyfriend he sometimes was, mostly to everyone’s and his own amusement. He winked at Jens right after, who nodded and replied in all seriousness with a strict „of course, home before curfew“. 

„You two are ridiculous.“ Robbe shook his head with a sigh. „Just text me, when I should be there and if I should get anytihing on the way. And tell your mom that I’m excited to see her again as well.“

„You adore us.“ Jens quickly stated before his attention was pulled away from his best friend.

Yasmina had just arrived back infront of her camera when Luca joined their chat and to everyone’s suprise there was a pretty blond girl next to her, seizing their whole attention,

She had stunning grey eyes, her nose pierced and both her arms tattooed in fine lined flowers. Her hair long and wavy and a bit wild as it covered her shoulders. She looked really good, Jens had to admit. A couple weeks earlier and them being at a party, and he definitely would have tried his luck.

„Ooh, you’ve got comapny? Gonna be a long night, huh?“ Zoë teased knowingly grinning at them, leaving Jens a bit lost at their non-verbal conersation, as everyone stared excited into their camera’s.

„Eh, hi, who are you?“ He asked, and immidiately the group started laughing. Only Moyo seemed to be on his side of utter confusion. Which wasn’t much of a relief, given he wasn’t the greatest resource of knowledge and gossip either within their circle. Even Robbe snorted, leaning his head back against Sander’s chest. His best friend was in on it apparently, as Jens lacked some vital piece of information.

„That’s Maxime duh. Just her girlfriend of two month.“ Noor pointed out incredulous, and as if to prove a point the couple in question faced each other giggling, only to present the chat with a passionate kiss, leaving no room for doubt or interpretation.

„Excuse me, what? I thought she dated a guy. Damn, my bad.“ Jens apologetically smiled, feeling silly now, remembering all the messages in the group. He was sure that he must have not read some of them. No girl had been mentioned...but then neither had been a boy, it dawned on him slowly. Always talking about a crush or date for the night. For sure the name must have come up, but Maxime became Maxim in his head without question.

„You should really start changing your heteronormative assumptions there, young man, now that the gays are taking over the group!“ Milan shouted overly excited and very much jokingly, as he winked into the camera. Yet still joined by enthuastic whoos and laughing from Robbe and Sander, and Luca and Maxime. Making Jens bite hard down on his lip, as he was willed to say things he couldn’t take back. And he was not prepared to come out to the entirety of his friends via a zoom call, only to defend his pride. That wasn’t quite the right reason for it, nor fair to Lucas.

He had to admit though that a girl on Luca’s side hadn’t crossed his mind even in the slightest, thus Milan wasn’t really far off with his statement. Back with Robbe he also strictly had believed his secret person to be a girl. Never once looking at all the signs that surely must have been there. All in all he apparently hadn’t changed much over the last year despite everything. Jens probably should work on that.

„Sorry! Honestly. It’s great to meet you, Maxime.“ He continued trying to make up for it. Also to get back to chat about anything else but dating really. Jens was saved by an angel called Jana taking control over the group, as she started a new game, once Luca had logged into the game and her crewmate character appeared in the lobby.

Fate truly was on his side today. 

Jens was an imposter this time and that would only mean one thing:

Vengeance.

Robbe would be the first to die.

__ __ __

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

[tsukidrama]

i’m glad you could have your weekend off! i hope you had some rest :)

i’m really happy we agree so much on yelena! but also thank you for making me discover her more it’s been really interesting to talk about her!

same for zeke, season 4 managed to make me forget about what he did to erwin but it still happened and i never thought i’d cry for a man until he died. i was very sad but also kinda mad for feeling so devastated about a man lmao.

i’ve seen more lara tybur works lately, even a nsfw alphabet and honestly she DESERVES, if you ever write for her again i’ll gladly read it!!

i (re)read some of your annie fics today and she really is one of the best aot characters, i can’t believe i didn’t care about her at first. i thought she was so cold (partly because of the dub version of my country) and before knowing more about her and how marley works i really was mad at her for killing all these people but context is very important in her story. anyways i read your post rumbling headcanons and it’s so SOFT, annie really deserves it after everything she had to go through, especially since she thought she was gonna die at a really young age, she can fully enjoy her life now. i am also a big supporter of lesbian annie, i don’t like her with men and annie x armin makes me uncomfortable for some reason, people ship it because armin kept visiting her when she was in her crystal but it was him being obsessed while she couldn’t do anything and i don’t really see how it’s supposed to be romantic? so yeah i really don’t like that ship but if i have to be honest i don’t really like either of armin, eren or mikasa. all the side characters are so great and so interesting that the main ones can seem boring at times.

i’ve also read the great hair massacre of 857 and please it was so sweet and funny!! the whole conversation was already funny but then “There you go saying that gay shit again…” actually made me laugh out loud askljldfijdf. the dialogue in this fic was really great, it seemed so natural!! i really love seeing that side of annie, thank you for blessing us with that content! she was so in character too, the reference to her relationship with her dad was subtle but very welcomed, her tearing up after saying “i left” made my heart clench, her relationship with her father is very complex and you wrote it well!

after reading i got curious and wanted to see annie with actual bangs (apart from that flashback we got in season 4) and i couldn’t find anything, i really wish i could draw rn. oh and both the headcanons and the fic being in canon made me so happy too!! i know i’ve already said it but it’s so rare reading aot stuff in canon i really cherish canon fics when i find them! (that being said, I absolutely love your AUs, i guess i’m just a big fan of your writing!!)

annie kinda feels underrated sometimes which is weird because she seems present in a lot of fics and fanart but she doesn’t seem to have that many fans? especially compared to some others. she 100% deserves more love.

-j

you're so sweet 🥺 thank you. i've been a bit sick lately (chronic illness so nothing out of the ordinary unfortunately) so i'm definitely getting lots of rest!

of course! like i said it is ALWAYS my pleasure to spread the love for yelena. i told you i could make you like her 👀 i didn't even mean to get into her as much as i have but she's so interesting and hot. i'm glad you leaded up liking her!

I WILL NEVER FORGET AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE! i cry about Erwin on a regular basis. i've always felt really strongly about his character and i feel his loss all the time in the final arcs of the story, every time hanji and levi are without him 💔 if there's any man worth making an exception for it's Erwin, that man chugs his respect women juice.

oh fuck yeah! good, it definitely is what she deserves. now i'm gonna go scour the lara tybur tag...

pppffft i was in the opposite situation - i loved her before i knew shit about her character and then felt like a traitor when i pieced together who she was and what she had done.... not sure when you got into snk but i watched season 1 the year it came out and kept up with it so i've really felt every cliffhanger in my bones. i started reading the manga after season 2 aired. my point is that i loved her through Annie all along with her flaws from the beginning, and i've never thought she was "good" per se but it's also obvious that she's affected by what she's done. i always figured there was more to her story than we knew; her reactions, the way she cries over the dead, and the fact that she gives up on her mission that's literally her purpose in life all indicate remorse beyond just regretting being caught. even way back in the day i was like: SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS!! IM TELLING YOU! my brother would constantly be telling me to shut up slksajdfkj but in the end i was right! i just didn't realize that pretty much ALL of the warriors didn't want to be doing what they did, or how complex it all was. she really does deserve a peaceful life being able to do what she wants. i used to cry about her having to die at age 24 a lot, so the ending taking away the titan curse is just about the only part of the ending i vibe with.

yep, same. i absolutely despise that ship-that-must-not-be-named, in my opinion it's a disgrace for both of their characters, but especially hers. it's really creepy, i agree. i don't blame Annie, being in a crystal with only annoying ass people talking to you for 4 years just left her a little confused. armin is gay anyway, i literally just block ppl who post about the ship. i love Mikasa but the other two i agree are pretty crap characters overall.

heheh well there are the manga caps from 139 but it'll be a while before we have her bangs animated. i'm actually so proud of how the great hair massacre turned out, it was such a sweet and goofy story that shows the lighter part of Annie's personality. eee thank you as always and i'm especially happy you mentioned the dialogue! and how it felt natural, that's such a reassuring compliment ❤ and for the bit about her dad. i feel like i'm the only person who likes him alkjdfalksjd i know he's an asshole and he messed up bad but he does really care about Annie and he's important to her therefore her is important to me. can u tell that i have parents-in-law?

i agree! a lot of people seem to either have the attitude of "o yea she's pretty cool i guess" or the full on EVIL MALICIOUS BITCH!! SHE KILLED LEVI SQUAD REMEMBER THE YOYO! i will eternally point out the hypocrisy - Reiner and Zeke do just as bad and worse as she does but the fandom doesn't hate on them. whatever, i'm happy in my bubble over here!

[skullsandwineglasses]

Life Lessons

The things you thought you wanted when you were 18 are very different from the things that you realize are important when you’re 24. 

1. Meet cutes

You fantasize about running into a stranger at a coffee shop, a book store, a library aisle, a grocery store lineup, etc and that you’ll click with them right away. You think “the one” is out there somewhere. But Ashley from bestdressed put it best: do you really think that out of the 7 or 8 billion or so people on the planet, you were born down the street or a city away from your soulmate? How is life going to be that convenient?

I thought college would be my Debut(TM), especially after a comfortable but uneventful time in high school. But college was quite anticlimactic. I was even less social if that was even possible. It’s hard to make friends when you’re not forced to sit next to the same people everyday. You instead meet people from afar who seem to be living, breathing real-life protagonists: beautiful, smart, witty, stylish, artsy, outspoken. I found myself trying to emulate them. I felt like I was falling behind in terms of who I should be in life. 

I tried to take control. If you don’t put yourself out there, how would meet cutes ever happen? So,

I go to coffee shops: but everyone’s too busy to look up from the work on their laptop screens to pay any attention to anyone else. 

I go to bookstores: but everyone’s too busy scanning the titles on the shelves to pay any attention to anyone else. 

I go to the library: see coffee shop.

I’m in the grocery store and someone asks me about the best coconut milk to use for curry: they get their answer and leave. 

I go to a jazz bar: again, everyone’s too busy listening to the band to pay any attention to anyone else.

I go to a swing dance social night: but everyone’s too busy trying to dance with as many different partners as possible in order to diversify their skills to linger any attention on anyone

You can’t say I didn’t try. 

Bonus:

Imagine you’re feeling bummed that you got assigned an aisle seat on the plane, only to approach your seat and see that a cute guy is sitting in the window seat next to yours. Could this be the meet cute you’ve been waiting for? You sit down. He says hi. You return the greeting a little too excitedly. You move to the fasten your seat belt. He speaks again: “So, my girlfriend has a window seat a couple rows back. I was wondering if you...”

Stunned, you pull the seat belt back and get up, gathering your stuff. “Oh yea, for sure, no bother at all. I wanted a window seat anyway.”

I kid you not. Cringe writes itself. It was like the opening of a bad romcom where the side character has one romantic failure after another. 

-> Moral of the story: Don’t expect to arrive at a place hoping that you’ll lock eyes with someone across the room. People go to places for the services that the place provides, and so they’ll be focused on their purpose for having gone to said place. Taylor Swift songs and YA novels did a wonderful job of misinforming me of how indifferent the social environment is like in public spaces. 

2. Exchanging phone numbers

So, maybe someone finally asks for your number. You part ways at the subway station. He promises to talk to you soon. But after 3 days, you wonder why he hasn’t texted you yet. You get a text from him Sunday morning asking you to meet for coffee that evening. You’re outside the cafe at 7:15, waiting. He texts you apologizing for being late because he was jogging around the lake and lost track of time. He says he’s on his way. You never hear from him again. 

-> Moral of the story: Even if you do ending up having a cute first encounter with someone at a subway station, it doesn’t mean things will work out. I’ve been ghosted like this 3 times. It’s gets harder trying to give men the benefit of the doubt each time.

I had thought that my self worth depended on how many strangers would approach me for my number. I thought that being liked was the only way to be validated. And while being asked for your number is flattering the first time, the illusion quickly shatters when you learn that the success of a relationship hinges on more than just the circumstance of the first meeting. 

3. Reading signs

You’re in line at the airport after returning from a conference trip, waiting to get through customs. You finally reach the customs officer who asks about the reason for your trip. 

“A conference,” you say.

“For?”

“Narrative. You know, like storytelling”

He hands you back your passport. “So are you an author?”

“Oh no, I just study the psychology of storytelling”

His face lights up. “Wow yes, storytelling is so important. It’s the foundation of civilization. That’s great”

“I’m glad you’re able to appreciate it. Not many people do when I tell them.”

“Well that’s because they don’t understand how important storytelling is to the basis of civilization. And for me too as someone who works in law enforcement.”

“Yes, for sure,” you say nodding. You look at the line behind you and start to move to leave.

“Well, it’s too bad we can’t talk more. Have a great day, miss”.

You walk towards the exit where the baggage claim is, and your head’s a blur. Was he...flirting? You’ve never met a stranger who was that interested in your research before, much less a border officer who was willing to stall the line just to ask you more about what you do. 

You begin to wonder if you should have left a card or a number so that you could talk later. You know, for research purposes. It’s always nice to make a friend outside your field who shares the same interests as you. But none of that matters now anyway because #ACAB. What’s done is done. But you still wonder about what his intentions were when he started that conversation. It’s too bad we can’t talk more. Yeah. A shame.

-> Moral of the story: Be more assertive. Offer a way to connect if you’re interested. Why do we keep reinforcing the idea that women can only be acted on and can’t act themselves?

4. To love or be loved

Like many young adults, I often question if my mother really understands what it means to be in love. She seems to like the idea of love, the idea of the perfect fateful meeting, but proudly says that she never fully gave her heart to anyone. She’s always warning that it’s better to receive love than to give it. That you end up at a disadvantage if you love first and love more. 

But I think I’d rather have the agency to make that choice than to be chosen. All throughout high school and in the media, we seem to glorify having someone choose us and love us unconditionally. But that’s unrealistic. There’s no such thing as unconditional, but I do hope to get as a close as possible to it. I want to love someone even if they might not love me back. I want to know how it feels like to put someone else first. Maybe this is just another teenage fantasy that has re-manifested itself in adulthood, but I want the freedom of stretching my feelings out than to feel the weight of that of someone else’s whom I can’t reciprocate. 

It also has to do with how much the alpha male is romanticized in our culture. I realize that I don’t want a domineering male version of my mother, who herself is controlling, obsessive, and possessive. I want a friend, not someone who thinks that I constantly need to be coddled and protected for my own good. 

It’s also a stupid expectation to have of real life men. If the men in my life are any indication, then they have goals and ambitions that they want to pursue. Everyone does. A relationship is a mutual support system. It’s not about how much as can take from someone. 

5. Choices

Some people say that you can fall in love with a city by falling in love in that city. 

TW: Sketchy interactions in ubers/taxis

I was grabbing coffee with a guy that I just met in a foreign city that I was visiting. It was approaching 9pm and he said that he had work the next morning, so we decided to call it a day. I was heading towards the subway station when he said that he called an uber and could drop me off at my hotel. Obviously, warning bells went off, but I was so worried about disappointing him, even though I knew that I wouldn’t see him again anyway after that evening. I just didn’t know how to say no. I reluctantly got in the car with him and instantly regretted it. He moved closer, but when he saw that I was uncomfortable, he moved away. Thankfully. We had an awkward conversation, and the driver dropped me off at my hotel after 10 minutes. I was lucky. I knew it. But looking back at the encounter now, I do wonder what would have happened if I had reciprocated the interest. I mean, I was definitely was curious at the time, but mostly because I was inexperienced and a little desperate to be completely honest. But, I knew that I didn’t want my first kiss or first whatever to be with a stranger who I knew I would never see again since I was leaving the next day. I knew about the emotional confusion that it would cause. I also wasn’t prepared to go as far as I thought he wanted to go, so I didn’t want to give him any wrong impressions and assumed that it was just easier to not show any interest at all. From time to time I still wonder about him and how he’s doing and whether I’ll ever run into him again if I’m back in the city. 

-> Moral of the story: Learn to say no and to stop worrying about whether you’ll offend someone because you want to keep yourself safe. I should have never gotten into that car, and my friends always remind me of that every time I tell them that story. I also acknowledge that some people might not always have that choice, and we should never victim blame. 

For me in that situation, I had a mix of different emotions. Curiosity, attraction, anxiety. My friend told me that I should have told him what I felt at the time and what my boundaries were instead of shutting off. But at the same time, he should have been vocal to me too and voiced what he was thinking, instead of just moving closer in the closed space of an uber. Sketchy af. 

6. Fate (is a lie)

I like to believe in the idea of fate and soulmates. My mother always tells me how I was the product of fate and so a part of me feels entitled to a little bit of that magic too. 

But I got my wake-up call when I walked into a dive bar one Friday night and could have sworn that I saw my first crush from middle school sitting at a table in the centre of the room with a group of his friends. 

We made eye contact, but it was too dark to know for sure. I walked past the table to the bar and asked for a table for one. I sat in the corner and watched him and his friends, curiously.

No one just walks into a dive bar and suddenly decides that the first person you see when you walk through the door is someone you once knew from middle school. I was almost sure that it was him. Was he? 

I was in a city an hour away from where we went to middle school. What are the odds. Was it fate? Was it a coincidence? After 12 years of having never seen this kid, I run into him in a dive bar I’ve never been to before in a city I only go visit maybe once every 2 months. 

Out of all the kids I went to middle school with, I had to run into my first crush? Seems like a joke. What kind of message was the universe trying to send?

In the end, I finished my sangria, and left. He never took one look back at me. And I walked out knowing that I’d never see him again. What seemed like an impossible coincidence just ended up mounting to nothing. 

That’s when I learned that coincidences are just coincidences. There’s nothing more to them unless you decide to make something out of them. 

Concluding remarks:

Maybe y’all are smarter and more perceptive than I am and already knew about these things when you turned 18. But these are lessons that took me 6 years to learn and then some. And even at 24 and having a couple of serendipitous experiences under my belt, I’m still no closer to being the confident, mature, and level-headed adult that I think I should be. I still feel 18 with the unrealistic expectations and mentality embodied by someone that age. Hell, to be honest I’m not entirely sure I remember when it feels like to be an 18 year old anymore. I just feel like an inadequate 24 year old. I shouldn’t be insulting 18 year olds like this.