#and wow shes feeling A LOT

[jesytr]

you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

it hit her like a nail pushed into a coffin. the needle lunging in deep enough to keep its living corpse trapped within. she could feel a thought stirring deeply within her noggin'. rustling around with other more important thoughts. those like . . . define black and white ?? . . . what did it matter to him ?? . . . and how'd he guess it so easily??

reading her like an educated tutor telling their student how to do mathematics. she didn't enjoy the thought that what he was doing was digging deeper into the parts of her that lacked color. that crept forwards with an afterthought of feeling left behind. that how she saw the world was exactly like a colorful giraffe on a tight rope. eventually they'd either break the rope , or . . .

" ya' know me. " she chewed out her words. though with slight fascination on how he had figured it all out in the span of a couple words. MASKING QUICKLY BEHIND BLUE EYES THAT LOOKED AWAY, " it's not my fault. " she added. her hands flexed and she pulled out a chewable piece of candy. rolling it in her fingers. feeling the texture of the wax paper settling against her fingers.

" ya' don't know this about me, but my dad used ta' kick me around. " eyes went down. no longer presently there. her mind floating away from her body. pulling up out of daydreams she was somewhere else. listening to looney tunes intros on repeat. as if that old man could still reach her from his stay plugged up in Gotham height's hospital bed, " yea . . . real messed up childhood. ma didn't think ta' leave him then , only when it was her turn ta' look black n' blue. "

she pulled the papers off her piece of caramel before plopping it in her mouth. sticking to candy as one of her main habits of nervousness. not quite stable enough to understand maybe it was a coping skill. settling back in her seat. legs crossed. hands beginning to fidget. keeping up a described version of what anyone wanted out of herself. she let out a nervous chuckle. one that pitched almost to the extreme. only laughing at the memories of her father. kept safely locked behind her eyes. she laughed, and laughed before settling on her next words, " Ahh! Too funny! I haven't laughed like that in awhile. maybe next time I'll tell ya' about this boy I knew. he thought he'd hurt me like my old man. " she wiped tears out of her eyes before continuing, " I knocked out a few o' his teeth. "

[bacchuschucklefuck]

typical tavern scene

[bixels]

Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.

Breathes in.

I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."

We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.

We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.

By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.

The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.

There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.

I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.

[juvinadelgreko]

crowning ronan lynch the undisputed pining king

[piracytheorist]

Yor worrying that her disappearing because of her job would mean she betrayed the Forgers vs Yor realizing that the risk is worth protecting them.

Grey colours, the Forgers as she first met them having their backs at her with empty, disappointed faces, vs bright, warm colours, the Forgers as she now knows them facing her directly and smiling at her.

She starts the story feeling like an outcast, fearing that no-one, not even her brother, will accept her as she is. That people will turn their back on her, and her life will continue being colourless and lonely.

Then her life fills with colour, with people who will face her head-on and accept her. She develops into confidence that the Forgers care for her and is reminded that even if she ever has to leave because of her job, the knowledge that she protects innocent people...

and that this work of hers will be acknowledged...

... is enough to give her the strength to carry on.

[myokk]

🥺

[manichewitz]

i dont think yall understand how floored i was when i found out that the interview with the vampire books are actually incredibly erotically gay for real and not just light queercoding or fan's gay ships?? bc this changes everything. i had always assumed anne rice hated fanfic authors for making her male characters fuck, but no, she just wanted to be the only author making her male characters fuck

[seafoam-taide]

the follerrr... shes just standing there doing nothing with no cool bg bc i really just wanted to color her. my boring ass first regretevator fanart

[avephelis]

every time someone mischaracterises jay ferin as the therapist friend a fairy loses its wings btw. put some respect on her emotionally-constipated ass.

[angy-grrr]

i understand ppl getting disappointing over today's ep, even tho I was expecting something like that it still look me by surprise too. But honestly, we got spoiled -we have been for a long time.

It means a lot to me the parallels between ep 7 season 7 and the memories ep where Izuku can't use black whip against Katsuki. Its so, so crazy. In this chat about romance, Midoriya gets extremely embarrassed over the concept of being someone's boyfriend, and Present Mic (one of the common narrators of the show) adds a little build up: he is really amazing and has earned great achievements, but for all of his triumphs, he is still, just a damn nerd.

He is still Izuku, that awkward kid whose childhood friend considers too nerdy to see or understand concepts like romance, boyfriend, and him getting involved in them. This call back to Katsuki is unnecessary, even more so considering he is not the narrator, but still, Present Mic considered the best way to describe him is to use the words his closest person says. With Izuku getting confessed, and him explaining what he considers to be a boyfriend's role, Katsuki's presence is still part of the scene. But what's even more interesting is the way he is also linked to the other part of the scene: what Izuku thinks about admiration and love.

When the word boyfriend comes out of Himiko's mouth is like his whole brain can just think about cheesy, typical movie stuff (thats what a boyfriend is, right? someone you hold hands with, share crepes and go to the amusement park with, right?) instead of feelings. Idk about how different the idea of love is in Japan compared to the one im used to, but Izuku seems to not know that, to be a boyfriend, first there are usually some feelings that make you want to become that -affection, curiosity, even love*. That word, boyfriend, is associated with many concepts, and instead of asking "boyfriend?! Like someone who makes you feel butterflies in your stomach?!" he focuses first on actions the boyfriend does -boyfriend is the one you hold hands with, the one who you share crepes with, the one who goes with you to the amusement park**.

But once Himiko explains her own idea of love and admiration he gets to focus on the latter part of the conversation, he does get what it feels like, but not like her. When its not associated with romance, its almost like he is allowed to express more freely about his emotions and opinions about love; he actually reveals some interesting stuff.

So first of all, Izuku seems to start thinking about it more deeply when Himiko explains that to her, being a couple means becoming the person she likes. That immediately reminds him of his own feelings towards his mentor -he does want to be like him, he gets that satisfaction, but not how that could be romance duh lmao, and he is the one who brings up the admiration aspect. He doesnt see it as a couple thing, or a romantic feeling, because he immediately associates it to pure admiration.

"Yeah I want to be like All Might my biggest idol, so I get how great it is to try it". That's his way of connecting to her, creating a bridge of understanding each other's perspectives -"I get this part, but I cant understand how you could not want to share the feelings of the person you love".

Then he follows it with "I dont want to hurt the person I love".

So, for Izuku, there's something more going on than just being completely clueless about everything -he does have an idea about what he wouldnt want to do to the person he loves, and an idea about what he does.

When he focus on the boyfriend or couple side, he gets all flustered, because those are embarrassing topics, and immediately jumps into a general, superficial idea about what those mean. Because... he doesnt get it when is described with those names -those names are related to things that look so unapproachable for a nerd like him. However, when he has something he relates to ("becoming the person... oh! like the admiration I have for All Might!"), he has a chance to actually explain his feelings and opinion about her confession.

Once this reaches an emotion he does understand, he spills how he wants to share the feelings the person he loves has. Which is... not that different from what Himiko feels. After all they both want to be closer to the people they love by having something the person has in common*** He also wants that kind of connection on a deeper, emotional level, rather than the superficial description he gave before; he is more free to express this when he can ignore the big name and connotation "couple" or "boyfriend" has.

When Izuku thinks about love without thinking about Love, he has an idea of what comes natural to him: to get closer to the person. Maybe thats why he doesnt think about Tenko the way Ochako does with Himiko -he feels empathy for his past and terrible present, currently he feels guilt over not being able to do more, reach out sooner, save... but he doesnt talk about feelings he wants to share with him like that. So, it makes sense thats how he views it.

For him, love is not only understanding the other, is sharing feelings of love. And the other key to Izuku's love is one Himiko cant ever reach: not wanting to hurt the person he loves.

This paralleling extra content shouldn't be that important, but considering Izuku is unable to use black whip when remembering Katsuki's sacrifice to him... doesnt it sound relevant?

Izuku confesses he doesnt want to hurt someone he loves, and it parallels a scene of him being... scared of hurting Kacchan the way AFO did, and deciding not to -whether it was consciously or not, black whip decided to not attack him.

He can train with him perfectly okay until his own quirk reminds him of Kacchan hurting.

Am i crazy? EDIT: alright I think I see some stuff about Izuku’s idea of love, and this will be the short, quirk version of this whole thing:

Admiration and wanting to be like someone, solely, it’s not enough for Izuku to consider it love —that’s what he does when it comes to All Might, and he knows he doesnt feel that way.

However, sharing the same feelings and not wanting to hurt them, thats way more important to him when it comes to love. Those, at least right now, are cores to his perspective of love.

He rejects Himiko's love because it has nothing to do with his from his point of view: she wants to hurt the people she loves, the biggest deal breaker, she doesnt share the same feelings as him, and she also considers imitation and admiration good enough to be considered love.

*it doesnt have to be romantic love, as platonic and queer platonic love and relationships can also start and continue to date and be wonderful for the people involved. Im adding this just to clarify there are multiple possibilities for a feeling of love, and its completely okay.

You can also date anyone for any reason really, including being confused by your feelings, expectations, social and peer pressure, etc., but im talking about what in theory would be the best case scenarios.

** This is in case we take into consideration the original meaning from the manga. In the anime, if the phrasing is actually different in Japanese as the subs suggest, then it would be "what a couple does".

*** The main issue that separates them is the abuse Toga has suffered that led to her seeing herself as a unlovable monster. For her, deep inside, she has to become the other person in order to be loved, bc she sees the goodness and precious things in others, and the only way she could ever be that... is if she literally stops being herself AAAAA MY POOR BABY

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[dulcewrites]

I think the most ironic thing about how Alicent’s motherhood gets used against her is that the logic that everything wrong with the targtowers is somehow her fault, completely goes out of the window when people talk about Rhaenyra’s parenting. Everything they do is a reflection of how terrible, awful, and disgusting Alicent is as a mother. But jace and luke’s behavior/actions somehow aren’t reflections of the pitfalls Rhaenyra has as a mother.

Aegon being a rapist is just Alicent fault. Aemond’s anger and resentment is just Alicent’s fault (some people even blame Alicent for him losing his eye yes I’ve seen it). Helaena’s adversion to touch (despite the fact it’s clear phia made an acting choice to play Helaena as neurodivergent plus we literally get scenes of Helaena letting Alicent touch her) is all Alicent’s fault. The rotting, neglectful rapist they all have for a father has absolutely nothing to do with that. And then the goalpost moving. If Alicent doesn’t admonish and totally hate Aegon for being said rapist, she’s a rape apologist who doesn’t want any woman to have rights (a crazy thing to say about a literal victim of rape herself btw). But if she slaps him, she’s an abusive cunt.

But jace and luke, more specifically luke, having no regard nor remorse for bullying then disabling someone is *check notes* seen as cute and normal??? It is apparently not Rhaenyra using the same tactics her father did. So much guilt about the position you have put your children in that in response you will just let them do whatever. This sort of perpetual cycle of gaslighting and withholding information being painted noble or nurturing.

Then when you bring up that argument of how Rhaenyra puts her kids in danger just by having them (much like how people say the same about Alicent despite that not even being her choice), you get hit back with ‘so you wanted her rape her gay husband’ which is like ??? how did you get there lmao. It’s wild, but completely on brand for a fandom that picks and chooses based on who they like, that people can emphathize with the position Rhaenyra was put in because of her gender. But the child bride who literally just has her children to cling to is the worst mother to ever mother.

The sooner people realize that Alicent and Rhaenyra are working up the same rigid rules and crushing pathology of patriarchy, the better off we will all be. The only difference is the way they push back against those structures. Someone like Rhaenyra, a dragon riding princess, can maneuver very differently compared to someone like Alicent. Both are going to fuck up and make decisions that put people in danger/hurt people’s feelings bc they are playing a game that has been rigged for them to lose. So why are the blonde ones allowed more grace than everyone else 🫤

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Chair Lore: 2013 edition(no lore, just pics haha):

[crunchycrystals]

ok so like a lot of the stuff i've seen about the ending of painted devils seems to say "sad that vanja can't remember the lesson she learned throughout the book" but i'd argue she does. she knows that she's worthy of love, that the people around her care about her. it's just a bit harder to accept because of her trauma but she knows it. she leaves not because she thinks she's unworthy of love, but because she knows she has it but the system doesn't make it easy for people like her to love and be loved.

the system perpetuating poverty is the reason why she became a thief and now it refuses to let her forget that this is who she is. see kirkling (literally used as an example of what im talking about when vanja runs away), always unfairly harsh to vanja but immune to the consequences of her bias because she's retired. and now she loves someone who wants to be a prefect, someone who is going into that very system to try and improve it, but it's still the same thing. the loopholes are still there and one day someone worse will exploit it to ruin emeric's life, prevent him from saving others from her fate, and she cares about him and those girls like her too much to let that happen

the book says that it's one thing to know something but another thing to believe it. in the same vein, it's one thing to know what you want, it's one thing to know you are loved, believe you are loved, but it's a completely different thing to be allowed to pursue that want or love. vanja and emeric don't have that freedom. gisele didn't have that freedom until vanja broke the leadership system in minkja, but no one's breaking the system for vanja. not yet at least.

[taraxippos]

I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?

Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate

-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)

-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.

-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.

Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.

-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.

But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')

In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.

All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.

-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?

-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.

I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.

WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.

And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.

Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.

[erwinsvow]

what would shy!reader’s room look like?

hi!!! tysm for asking <3 i know @princessbrunette did a post for deer readers room and i honestly see a lot of shy reader / myself in deer reader so this vibe is a little similiar to that !

for her bedroom i see something like this !! lots of quilts and blankets, i feel like she spends a lot of time in her room so it's her haven and really cozy. to me her vibe gives grandma's cottage

but i picture big windows and a comfy bed she can lie in all day if rafe doesn't specifically come get her or give her a reason to get up. she probably has a kitten or a sleepy older dog who will curl up right next to her while she reads in bed.

shes a kook and im projecting because i love those little window seating areas so maybe one of those where she can read and look out the window !! lots and lots of books! this bookshelf situation reminds me of my own room though hers is probably overflowing with her parents and rafe bankrolling. cute vanity situation for getting ready! i think she has an eye for collecting vintage things

collage wall moment !! shy reader is the type who can't ever get rid of birthday cards, notes people scribbled to her, gift tags with 'to and from' in pretty handwriting, postcards and ticket stubs. a lot of is stored in a memory box but i bet with rafe's stuff she starts a little wall like this ! he probably stares at it when he visits and feels dizzy at the emotions

trinket dishes ! scattered all throughout, filled with anything and everything. she'll be trying to get ready and running around trying to figure out where the watch rafe got her is and there's a million dishes to look through. hes like 'we're gonna be late do u even know what time it is?' she's like no i can't find my watch !

finally records ! the photo on the left is the exact set up for my record player. as we know they are expensive jawns but rafe def bankrolls her addiction to buying pretty colored lana releases. her ideal sunday is listening to music and reading in bed while curled up next to rafe. shes a simple girl

hope this wasn't too obnoxiously long ! i loved making this. staring around my room realizing i just projected my entire room + personality onto her. sorry girl