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crimeronan · 4 years ago

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Ok so I’m into the dreamer trilogy and haven’t read the Raven cycle...what is Declan’s characterisation/journey there?

THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST ASK I’VE EVER RECEIVED. IMAGINE I’M STANDING WITH MY ARMS SPREAD USING DIFFERENT VOICES AND HAND GESTURES TO REENACT THIS STORY FOR A RESENTFUL CAPTIVE AUDIENCE

also declan’s TRC storyline is like. equal parts horribly fucking sad and unbelievably fucking hilarious so. i will try to strike a Balance

FIRST OFF. there is exactly one (1) declan POV chapter in the entire series. it happens toward the end of the last book. up until then, everything we know about him comes from the observations and narration of others.

he is also a very minor character. his importance grows throughout the series, but almost all of his actions happen offscreen. it’s not until the last book that we know exactly how much he’s been dealing with the whole time.

when he’s introduced in the first book, he appears as a plot device. here is a two-dimensional horrible controlling hardass who doesn’t give a shit about anything but his future political career. look at his fake, smug fucking grin. how did someone like ronan end up with a brother like him?? doesn’t matter. it’s a convenient excuse for ronan to live with his best friend in a drafty warehouse, which means more room for YA hijinks!

declan’s introduction scene is Embroiled in Capital-D Douchebaggery. according to the narration (from gansey and adam), he loves to fuck women and then never call them back, cozy up to powerful people, and bitch about how ronan’s ruining his life by being sad about their dead parents. SOME people can just get over their dead parents, ronan!

this intro scene is also Extremely Funny i 100% recommend reading it even if u don’t read the actual series. ronan makes a nasty comment, declan goes “why are you the way that you are” and tries to salvage his date, gansey utters the phrase “man whore”

then later that night things go like. actually bad.

declan shows up at the same pizza place where ronan is with his friends. this scene is gansey pov. gansey runs out to the parking lot to find the two of them Very Literally Trying To Kill Each Other. you don’t see that violence in cdth - there’s only the TINIEST shadow of it when declan confronts ronan over matthew - so i Cannot Express Enough that someone is going to end up hospitalized at BEST. ronan’s already slammed declan’s head on the car, declan’s already grabbed ronan and beaten the shit out of his face, like.

you do not get good old-fashioned Declan Lynch At His Actual Worst in cdth. u might be thinking, THAT guy???? doing THIS????

oh yeah. things are real bad between declan and ronan.

after gansey breaks up the fight (and gets punched in the face for his trouble, albeit accidentally), declan tells ronan that their dad would be fucking ashamed to see him now & that he’s washing his hands of it & basically if ronan wants to go off and fucking die, he can.

this is like. just a couple months after the magical suicide attempt referenced in cdth

in the aftermath of that scene it becomes clear that ronan absolutely unequivocally 100% will kill himself if he has to live with declan. hence. why he’s living with gansey instead. gansey spends that whole night petrified that the declan altercation will lead to another attempt, and for Good Reason

so like, that’s how we first meet declan. he’s an uncaring wannabe corporate asshole who does not give a fuck and who only exists to exacerbate ronan’s mental health issues.

but then the opening of book 2 gets real interesting.

book 2 is where we start learning more about the lynch family. we learn that ronan’s father was a dreamer who sold his creations on the black market, we learn that that’s why he was murdered. we learn that ronan’s a dreamer too. we learn that there are very powerful people looking for the greywaren, an artifact that takes objects from dreams. those powerful people just don’t realize it’s a person, yet.

so here’s the assassin who killed niall lynch.

he goes to declan’s dorm.

with everything we know about declan, the kid should be completely unprepared. he can box, but the assassin knows that, so there’s no real advantage. he’s alone, and he doesn’t have an escape route.

declan pulls out a gun.

this is an unexpected turn of events.

unfortunately he ends up getting beaten half to death with the butt of said gun, because he loses the ensuing physical struggle for the weapon. the assassin is like, i need the greywaren. declan is like, i know it exists but i don’t know what it is. i’ll find it for you. i’ll get it to you. then you’ll leave me the fuck alone

now with everything we know of declan at this point - his attitude toward ronan, his general demeanor, and this new knowledge that he knew about the black market - there’s one obvious question.

will declan sell ronan out if he finds out about the dreaming.

and like, okay. their relationship is antagonistic in cdth but it is NOT what it is in trc. believe me when i tell you that at that point, when you’re reading, you can pretty reasonably go, “oh, god. oh god. oh god please no one ever tell declan what the greywaren is. oh god.”

declan has some other interactions with ronan and the gang throughout the book, mostly where he’s just a hardass who tells ronan to stop causing trouble. adam’s the only one who notices that declan is scared. like bone-deep shaking to the core petrified. about Something.

probably getting beaten to within an inch of his life by the man who murdered his father. that’s the reasonable reader conclusion.

so imagine how everything changes when you find out that declan already knows. that declan’s known about ronan’s dreaming for longer than ronan has. that declan knew exactly what and who the greywaren was, and he lied to a man who was ready to torture him for information, and he got away with it.

suddenly a lot of things recontextualize.

“keep your head down and stop making trouble”? people are gonna NOTICE your magic bullshit, ronan, we do not have time for this!

“stop hanging with that loser druggie friend of yours”? you mean the loser druggie friend who sells on the magic black market and doesn’t care about protecting himself or anyone else?

“i got super weird for no reason about ronan sleeping close to adam”? i don’t have fucking TIME to be homophobic i’m busy with your POTENTIAL TO MANIFEST NIGHT TERRORS IN FRONT OF WITNESSES IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

“i’ll find out what the greywaren is and bring it to you”? i’ll die. i’m making a bargain to die. i’m never giving you the greywaren and i know you’re going to kill me about it and that’s fine as long as my brothers are safe

ronan doesn’t know that he dreamed matthew. declan knows. he’s known the whole time. declan tells ronan in book 3. and then things recontextualize even further, because ronan’s death is also matthew’s, and matthew IS close to declan in trc.

but declan never tells the goddamn truth unless it’s his last option. he doesn’t tell ronan that he knows about the dreaming and he doesn’t tell ronan what specifically wants to hurt him and the lack of communication fucking destroys both of them.

in the last book, ronan realizes declan loves him.

more than that, he realizes declan’s loved him the whole time.

this is when declan finally tells the truth. things are getting bad, plot-wise, and declan is scared, so he comes clean. he tells ronan that niall specifically tasked declan with protecting ronan from the market. he begs ronan to run from the danger. “let’s pour gasoline on everything dad left and start over.”

this is also when ronan realizes that declan’s childhood was very different from ronan’s own. and that niall and aurora lynch were not the same people to declan that they were to ronan. and that their father’s decisions are what’s driven the wedge between him and declan all this time

(he’s still struggling with the cognitive dissonance of this in cdth. i don’t think he knows how to adjust his perception of declan to fit this new information.)

aaaaand the final scene with declan makes me cry every time i read it so instead of summarizing, here’s the important part:

Ronan delivered a sharp tap to the object, and a small cloud of fiery orbs sprayed up with a sparkling hiss.

“Jesus, Ronan!” Declan jerked his chin away.

“Please. Did you think I’d blow your face off?”

He demonstrated it again, that quick tap, that burst of brilliant orbs. He tipped it into Declan’s hand, and before Declan could say anything, jabbed it to activate it once more.

Orbs gasped up into the air. For a moment, he saw how his brother was caught inside them, watching them soar furiously around his face, each gold sun firing gold and white, and when he saw the spacious longing in Declan’s face, he realized how much Declan had missed by growing up neither dreamer nor dreamt. This had never been his home. The Lynches had never tried to make it Declan’s home.

“Declan?” Ronan asked.

Declan’s face cleared. “This is the most useful thing you’ve ever dreamt. You should name it.”

“I have. ORBMASTER. All caps.”

“Technically you’re the orbmaster though, right? And that’s just an orb.”

“Anyone who holds it becomes an ORBMASTER. You’re an ORBMASTER right now. There, keep it, put it in your pocket. D.C. ORBMASTER.”

Declan reached out and scuffed Ronan’s shaved head. “You’re such a little asshole.”

The last time they’d stood on this roof together, their parents had both been alive, and the cattle in these fields had been slowly grazing, and the world had been a smaller place. That time was gone, but for once, it was all right.

The brothers both looked back over the place that had made them, and then they climbed down from the roof together.

#long post #REALLY long post #i haven't reread this so excuse any incoherence #trc #trc meta #not really but??#suicide /#declan lynch #i love my idiot son #replies #Anonymous

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starrypawz · 4 years ago

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waldosia, which is giving me chargestep vibes

Rare Word Prompts

waldosia – n. a condition characterised by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, which is your brain’s way of checking to see whether they’re still in your life

Briefly in a run down diner that opens late and asks no questions where Ronan somehow scraped together enough change for a soda that they drink with shaky hands they swear they catch a flash of blue and white. A hint of unruly dark hair that’s unbelievably soft to touch. He’s standing at the counter. Ronan blinks and he’s gone.

He wouldn’t be here. He doesn’t even know. He has no reason to be here.

Time passes.

Ronan knows he wouldn’t be here, he doesn’t even know where they are. And yet they find in every little bolthole on what has turned into quite a long journey through Nevada they’ve looked. Half expecting to see him leaning on the wall of a crappy motel, gassing up his bike at a rest stop, waiting for them in a booth in yet another nondescript diner, idling in the candy aisle of the next convenience store they come to.

There’s ghosts of him. Headlines and brief flashes of him on television screens. Ronan tries not to look too hard.

Time passes.

It took longer to get from Nevada to Los Diablos this time around. Ronan’s not sure if they’re playing it safe or out of practice. It’s probably both.

Los Diablos is both familiar and alien to them at this point, some of their old haunts still exist but they can’t really go back, not yet, not ever so it’s been time to learn a new dance to a new rhythm and as it turns out Ronan doesn’t have two left feet.

Time Passes

By this point there’s enough ghosts of him to fill a graveyard.

Ronan still tries not to look at them but they can’t help it. If Ronan looks too hard at the latest footage they can see the grey in his hair, (and for a brief moments wonders if his hair is still as unbelievably soft to touch as they remember) the grin is the same but there’s a weight behind his eyes Ronan doesn’t remember being there before. And then if they stare too long they start noticing the lines and shadows under his eyes that can’t quite be airbrushed out.

Ronan half expected to find him standing there when they stepped off the bus they’d managed to slip onto for the last leg of the journey, wrapped in a telepathic shroud so no one would notice a stowaway.

They do see him, on screens and newspapers and from a distance a few times when duty calls and they just happen to be in the same area.

Ronan keeps thinking they’ll run into him. Not sure if they’re hoping to or worried they would, maybe it’s both. Just turn a corner and there he is, waiting, he’s found their regular bench in the park, catch him at the store near their current apartment, he’s just happened to walk into the bookstore they’ve found themselves browsing.

Ronan’s not sure how he’d react, or how they’d want him to react the idea always fizzles out at that point. Soon followed by thoughts such as ‘He probably wouldn’t recongise me anymore’ and ‘What would I even say?’

(How do you explain to someone you’ve not actually been dead this whole time? Explain you were never actually human just some crude tool. An escaped lab experiment with a backstory that sounds straight out of a terrible low budget science fiction movie. That there’s probably something lurking in the back of your mind that wasn’t there before, or maybe it was and you just ignored it back them, that something has utterly broken in you or actually you may have been broken all along. That you’ve come back with a plan that involves pulling apart the entire system and most likely ripping The Rangers apart as collateral damage. And that how as one final killing blow you still feel the same way about that someone as you did all those years ago)

Time passes.

Ronan pauses for a moment a shaky hand on the cool glass of the diner’s window and collects their thoughts. Or what weird scattered impulses pass for their thoughts at this point. Ronan feels their mind dangerously close to disappearing too deep into the human sea that is Los Diablos. Like they’re about to be pulled into a rip current and today they’re not strong enough to swim parallel to the shore.

They look up and swear they see him in the nearby crowd before they enter the diner.

That would be ridiculous right?

#fhr #fallen hero #sidestep ronan brown #starry writes stuff #fallen hero rebirth #finally this fic is done i've been fighting with this one for a while

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moonlit-imagines · 3 years ago

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Hi, Lacey! Congrats again on 4k!! 🤗 I'm here to request a ship, please 😊

Name: Trish

Fandom: Marvel (MCU)

Extra choice: Sibling

Gender/pronouns: She / her

Sexuality: Questioning. I know I like boys (and kind of have a preference for them), but I might also like girls

Likes: Fiction, music, videogames, art, animals, sweets, nature

Dislikes: Crowds, hypocresy, rude people

Hobbies: Hanging out with friends, reading, writing, playing guitar and piano, doing puzzles

Extra info: I'm INFTP, Libra and Hufflepuff. I'm pretty quiet and shy at first, but once I start trusting someone I get more comfortable and become very playful and outspoken even if I'm still somewhat shy, but I'll open up a lot more and tell them all about my likes and my thoughts.

I hope all the info I put is right and everything. Thank you so much, have a great day! 💕

ahhh thank you so much trish!!!!! mwah!

s/o: peter quill and you met some years after your defection from the kree. you were apart of the ravagers for a short time, but not yondu’s ravagers. after parting with them, you bumped into peter when he was off on his own and noticed his emblem and realizing you’d met before. not long after, you were apart of the guardians of the galaxy in a very very odd turn of events. needless to say, you and peter bonded over your pasts and fell in love, especially over all things earth once he told you that’s where he was from.

enemy: the kree empire had been your entire life before you defected. everything they’d ever told you was a lie and although your people continued to believe it, you could not serve them any longer. you wanted to one day prove that the kree empire was built of fear and lies, but you had to be realistic with yourself. you alone could not take down that force, so you decided that the next best thing was to find your place in the galaxy outside of what you were always told. when the guardians of the galaxy began to clash with ronan and his people, you saw some familiar faces and things got very personal. luckily, you had peter to help you get through it all.

best friend: carol danvers/vers was a newer addition to the kree starforce you served on. the two of you bonded super fast, but you felt guilty not being able to tell her where she was from or how she had gotten there. nevertheless, you formed a strong friendship that led to great outcomes on the battlefield. you stayed up late to talk about life, trained together, gossiped about the team, and more. once she learned the full truth about the kree, she managed to get through to you and you took her side, much to your team’s dismay. and you profusely apologized for keeping things from her, but luckily she knew what you’d gone through and decided to forgive. you did go your separate ways, but managed to keep in contact through the years.

sibling: yon-rogg was your older brother and he did everything in his power to keep you in check. you were to be the perfect soldier, his protege, an example to his superiors that he was worthy of more. he wanted to please the kree and the supreme intelligence, but you were able to break out of his trance when “vers” came along. he could tell you were slipping, but by the time he was ready to do anything about it, he was too late. you realized how badly he’d treated you and happily sent him back to hala, spent some time with carol on earth, and left to go on your own journey.

#ask #always imagine a dream #shipping event #4k event

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yichens · 4 years ago

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2020 – a (content creator) year in review

I decided to make this into a mix of these two games I was (kinda?) tagged into so thank you for @leonzhng and @tiesanjiao ♥ I hope you don’t mind me doing it like this ^^ all the questions were just so interesting that I wanted to try!

(bc of the amount of questions, I’m placing them under a cut so that I don’t flood anyone’s dash)

(this is the 2020 year in review that hanyi tagged me to ♥ sorry am so late!)

Top 5 Movies you saw this year

wow tbh I didn’t watch many movies this year as I realized yesterday when I was thinking about this for certain reasons. Or at least I feel like I didn’t watch that many? Nothing really stuck with me it seems.

Because of this, I will only mention two: Parasite and The Old Guard. Those were both wonderful in their own ways and I’m very happy I got to watch them both ^^

Top 5 TV shows you watched this year

this one is difficult bc I watched so many (and forgot even more?) but:

The Lost Tomb Reboot (my introduction to DMBJ. this drama stole my heart and helped me through the tough autumn semester!)

Joy of Life (it’s nuts that this happened during 2020? it feels like it was ages ago)

Kingdom (such a positive surprise and I really hope we get more of this :o I really recommend!)

Detective L (easy, nice aesthetics, amazing costumes. Bai Yu was a delight as Luo Fei)

Sand Sea (I am still baffled by how much I loved this bc I had so many doubts? am happy I did tho)

Bonus: Guardian (bc it has come to stay and the rewatch has been so emotional but so rewarding)

Top 5 songs of 2020

this is a tough one too bc I’ve heard so much new music during 2020 but I will try to put it simply:

Black Swan by BTS (I absolutely adore this song. I listened to it on repeat when it came out at the beginning of the year, I have cried for it a ton, I enjoy every stage I see for it and it’s just a masterpiece. it has also helped a bit with my writing struggles that I’ve felt creeping up on me lately)

Always by By The Coast (an amazing song that always leaves me in my feels. inspires me a lot all the time)

Love me or Leave me by DAY6 (this whole album was a masterpiece and I listened to it on loop for like. two weeks? this was my favorite song on it even if I adored the rest too, especially Zombie)

all of my life by Park Won (listened to this a lot in relation to my xicheng and the wedding I finally got to write for them ;; that’s one good thing that came out of this year tbh)

雨人 by 刘畅 (Liu Chang) (with the Reboot’s ending song, this one is my favorite on that ost. I love Liu Chang’s voice, I loved Liu Sang as a character and as I said, I loved Reboot as a drama. I get super emotional about this ost so I think it defined this year a lot for me)

Top 5 books you read in 2020

All For The Game -trilogy (listened to these as audiobooks but that counts right?)

The Song of Achilles (as an audiobook too and really adored the reader’s voice)

The Smoke Thieves -series (I really just binge read the two first books in this series and am so excited for the next one!)

Call Down The Hawk (love love love)

Guardian novel (am not very into these novels usually but I was positively surprised this time? it was so cool to finally get the original story and compare it with the drama version)

5 positive things that happened in 2020

joined mdzsnet and met all the amazing ppl there and got to become part of this loving community and :’) I’m so thankful, it’s been a joy

learned more about editing? or started doing it regularly. I still can’t do shit but am having fun learning more all the time and I really hope that maybe the upcoming year I can switch to PS and try out giffing?

went to Halsey’s concert! it was in february so a bit before all the hassle with covid happened over here ;; it was super cool and so nice and I just. I love Halsey

fell into the DMBJ hellhole which am very much enjoying. it’s a great universe and the story is so good and the dramas have been so fun to watch and. it feels like a good continuation to The Untamed somehow haha (also brought me a new friend! you’re amazing ashen!! ♥)

started therapy and it’s been... a journey. but towards something better I think? it’s something I would’ve needed ages ago but it’s better late than never I suppose

My Creations

(this is the other part where ali was being super sweet and mentioned me ♥ thank you for being so awesome!)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: wow it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this horrible creation but here ya go jkdhgk [x]. I’ve come a long way from this (and my xicheng has come a long way from this too). most recent one is this xiaoge edit that I absolutely adore [x].

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: this wwx edit that was part of my agust d2 edit series [x]. I loved to give him blue instead of his typical red.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: this [x] wwx edit which I don’t know if I like or not but I was playing around with the font and all the effects instead of just normal screenshots + coloring. also I just adore the quote.

4. a creation to be proud of: I could mention that xiaoge here but in addition, I will also say this wu xie edit for reboot [x]. I managed to capture my vision so well, I was surprised. for cql, this songxiao edit [x]. I loved how it turned out in the end.

5. a creation that took forever: this wangxian edit [x]. like I’ve said several times, I lost sleep bc of it. I just kept struggling with the third pic and how to place the text there D:

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this lwj/wangxian edit [x]. I had many ideas for this edit when I first started making it and I never managed to capture my vision in the way I first intended... the pictures I was supposed to use just never fit quite right sigh. I dunno why it was this one that gained all the notes in the end bc I personally think I have better ones too but am still thankful :’D

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: as said, dmbj fandom on tumblr is very small so I really want to say the two already mentioned ones (wu xie and xiaoge) and then my pingxie edits [x] [x]. also these wwx edits which I personally am very happy about [x] [x]. and from my agust d2 series, this yun bros one [x].

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: really just dmbj this year and I’ve already linked all of my creations for that :’D tho I have plans for another pingxie edit and a liu sang edit! oh and maybe I could mention guardian here with this shen wei [x]. I had so much fun while making it (also the quote just haunted me relentlessly until I gave it a moment).

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: this must be my easter islanders (lwj and jc) edit [x] that just. awoke many thoughts in me? I’m going to put a link to the version where you can read my ramblings underneath :’D

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my creation for the creator (gif?) challenge that was going around! [x] it was simple and nice to do and I loved the result. also, it was nice to work with jl for a change :’)

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: oh wow ok so this is going to be rough bc I have so many favorites ;; you can look at this post here [x] to see more!

but to love my two taggers am going to say these [x / x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by hanyi (I always love your edits, the colors you choose, the thoughts you put into them (and your humor too!). there are so many cool things you’ve done that I just stay in awe of! I adore all of it ;; ♥) and these [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by ali (I love all of your gifsets so much, they have such pretty colors and such good scenes, and I am thankful every day that you make all the amazing dmbj content, pls never stop ;; I should go through all of your creations properly one day! I noticed you have sand sea stuff too and let me scream?) ^^ ♥

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: this is going to be a huge list and I’ve already made my love heard for some but no hurt in doing it again so @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @tiesanjiao @kholran @lzswy @englishbunnyrocks @leonzhng @aheartfullofjolllly @yibobibo @inkblue-black @cross-d-a @bloody-bee-tea @fytheuntamed @mdzsnet @lifegoesmon @creeds-eagle @underaswift-sunrise @sarawatsaraleo @lan-xichens @mylastbraincql @wangxianbunnydoodles @manhasetardis @distantsnows @ohsehuns @minmoyu @linglynz @highwarlockkareena @yiqiie @aowyn @alienwlw @wangxiians @kingbadcat @sassyassassy @tytangfei @lanzhannnn @skzmxtp @leoyunxi @yoonqiful @softjeon @rapbabenamjoon @ronan-adam @miyakuli @pavusdorian @arsuf @brolinskeep @gawincaskeyy and so many others! (sorry for all the random ppl on this list that I’ve never even talked to ^^’ just know that you make my dash a wonderful place! ♥)

I won’t tag anyone separately here but everyone who’s already been tagged or sees this is free to do this (or link me posts if you’ve done these already!) ♥ have a nice day everyone!

#tag game #wow this took ages #am sorry am late #thanks for tagging me tho!!#i enjoyed this a lot #about me

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literatureandmonsters · 4 years ago

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Monsters and Self-Acceptance in YA Lit: The Dream Thieves

The word monster “derives from the Latin monstrum, which is related to the verbs monstrare (‘show’ or ‘reveal’) and monere (‘warn’ or ‘portend’) [1].” Monsters have been a staple of our stories for hundreds of years. What do monsters, specifically in stories for young adults, warn us against?

The Dream Thieves, a 2012 YA novel by Maggie Stiefvater, explores how monsters in literature can meaningfully characterize self-loathing and illuminates the path to overcoming it. The Dream Thieves is the second novel in a young adult fantasy series that follows a group of friends on their quest to find and obtain a wish from a mythical king said to be sleeping in the hills of western Virginia. In the second book, the friends learn that one of them, Ronan, has the ability to take things from his dreams; however, Ronan has little control over this ability and frequently brings monsters out of his nightmares. These monsters, I will argue, represent Ronan’s self-hatred and the journey he takes to tame these monsters is a meaningful tale of self-acceptance.

In the first scene involving these monsters, we see one of Ronan’s dreams quickly turn into a nightmare. "Ronan could hear the night horrors coming, in love with his blood and his sadness. Their wings flapped in time with his heartbeat... Ronan was afraid of [them] in a ... permanent way that came from being killed by them again and again in his head.” When he accidentally brings two of the monsters out of his nightmare, he has to explain to his friends that “they come when I’m having a nightmare... They hate me. In the dreams, they’re called night horrors.’” Since the night horrors Ronan dreams of loath him, when he brings these monsters out of his dreams, he is essentially creating a physical manifestation of the hatred he feels towards himself.

We do not immediately learn why Ronan is filled with so much resentment towards himself. The prologue, however, reveals that “Ronan Lynch lived with every sort of secret.” His first is that he has the ability to take things from his dreams, but we also learn that he has a “harder kind of secret. One you keep from yourself.” Both secrets are intertwined with Ronan’s monstrosity and his self-hatred.

The first secret about his magical ability makes Ronan view himself as a monster:

“It was not the easiest thing to take only one thing from a dream… To bring any of the things from his nightmares — no one but Ronan knew the terrors that lived in his mind. Plagues and devils, conquerors and beasts. Ronan had no secret more dangerous than this… He remembered what Gansey had said: You incredible creature! Creature was a good word for him, Ronan thought. What the hell am I?”

He remembers the words his closest friend told him when Ronan showed him something he dreamed for the first time: “You incredible creature!” Later, in church, “Ronan closed his eyes to be blessed” and silently prays, “please God what am I tell me what I am." Ronan’s strange ability allows him to take monsters from his nightmares, but it also causes leads him to view himself as a monster or creature. This ability also makes him constantly wonder what exactly he is. Later in the novel, a character looks at Ronan and plainly says “I know what you are.”

This character is Joseph Kavinsky, a classmate of Ronan and his friends and an antagonistic force in their lives. At the beginning of the book, Kavinsky, as he is called, is mainly known for his wild parties and fast cars, and frequently street-races Ronan. After one of these races, the night horror that escaped from Ronan’s dreams in the first scene attacks him. Kavinsky drives up and shoots the night horror dead. As they are driving away from the scene, Kavinsky tells Ronan, “I know what you are,” and subsequently reveals that he, too, can take things out of his dreams, that the very car they are riding away in was dreamed up by him. Suddenly, Ronan is not alone. He still does not have a word for what he is, the “creature” that he is still does not have a name, but Ronan is no longer the only one. In fact, one of the first questions Ronan asks Kavinsky is “are there others?” However, Kavinsky just replies, “hell if I know.” Despite his strong dislike of Kavinsky, Ronan is relieved. He is also disturbed that his secret – something only his friends know – is out. “Ronan’s heart twitched convulsively. It couldn’t seem to get used to this secret being the opposite of one.” But as we know from the prologue, this secret is Ronan’s only secret.

We do not learn for sure what this concealed secret is until almost the end of the novel. After Kavinsky teaches Ronan how to take things from his dreams more deliberately, Ronan goes back to his friends. In a tense exchange as Ronan is leaving, Kavinsky says, “you don’t fucking need him” meaning Ronan’s best friend, Gansey. To this, Ronan responds “Wait. You thought- it was never gonna be you and me. Is that what you thought?” This interaction marks the end of friendly relations between the two dreamers and leads us closer to discovering Ronan’s second secret.

During the climax of the book, Ronan and Kavinsky meet in the dreamspace where they both take things from. Ronan asks Kavinsky “What’s here, K? Nothing! No one!” to which Kavinsky replies “Just us.” Ronan contemplates Kavinsky’s response: “There was a heavy understanding in that statement, amplified by the dream. I know what you are, Kavinsky had said.” This contemplation leads to the Ronan admitting his second secret:

‘That’s not enough,’ Ronan replied.

‘Don’t say Gansey, man. Do not say it. He is never going to be with you. And don’t tell me you don’t swing that way, man. I’m in your head.’

‘That’s not what Gansey is to me,’ Ronan said.

‘You didn’t say you don’t swing that way.’

Ronan was silent. Thunder growled under his feet. ‘No, I didn’t.’”

Up until this point, Ronan has not said aloud - or even thought about - the second secret mentioned in the prologue, but in this climactic scene of the novel, Ronan replies with, “no, I didn’t.” We now see that the secret Ronan kept from himself is about his sexuality. This revelation sheds light on why Ronan’s mind was filled with monsters that hated him, and casts light on another reason why he also viewed himself as a monster.

The author, Maggie Stiefvater, has said that the most important part of writing her stories is “getting into the reader’s head and moving the emotional furniture around.” As book reviewer Lee Mandelo notes, in regards to Ronan’s “sexuality, his secrets from others and himself, his attraction to Adam and Kavinsky in equal and terrifying measures” Stiefvater is “‘moving the emotional furniture around’ while the reader isn’t looking.” While we haven’t seen Ronan contemplating his sexuality in any part of the book, we realize that the parts we have seen (Ronan’s shame, self-hatred, and fear of his secrets being revealed) all tie into his sexuality as well. Ronan remembers Kavinsky’s earlier statement, “I know what you are,” but where before it meant that Kavinsky knew Ronan was a dreamer, here it means he knows he is gay. Stiefvater continues this emotional work after we realize the reason for Ronan’s self-loathing.

After Ronan’s “no, I didn’t,” Kavinsky, spurned by Ronan, takes a monster of his own from the dreamspace. Ronan knows that the monster, now in reality, poses a great threat to his friends in the waking world. Ronan needs to dream up something to combat Kavinsky’s monster; Then a night horror appears. Since these monsters “never want anyone else,” Ronan laments, “this won’t save anyone.” A friend in the dreamspace tells Ronan, “‘It’s only you. Why do you hate you?’” The statement “it’s only you” cements the supposition that Ronan’s night horrors are an extension of himself, particularly the part of himself that loathes what he is (both a dreamer, and gay, as we now know). However, Ronan considers what his friend says and in response to “why do you hate you?” concludes, “I don’t.” When Ronan wakes up he brings the night horror with him, but this time the monster does not set out to kill him. It saves his friends from Kavinsky’s monster. “The fire dragon pitched towards Gansey and Blue. Ronan didn’t have to shout to his night horror. It knew what Ronan wanted. It wanted exactly what Ronan wanted. Save them.” The night horror had always “wanted exactly what Ronan wanted,” but it is only after Ronan realizes that he does not hate himself anymore, that the night horrors do not wish him harm.

The other dreamer, Kavinsky, does not get the self-acceptance arc that Ronan does. Ronan’s journey of self-acceptance quite literally saves his life when he tames the dream monsters that represented his self-hatred. The opposite happens with Kavinsky. Kavinsky shares both parts of Ronan’s identity that gave him so much shame and self-hatred: a gay teenage boy, who is also a dreamer. Kavinsky does not have a “I don’t” moment regarding his self-hatred, and while Ronan’s monster learn to obey him, Kavinsky’s monster (and perhaps his self-hatred) destroys him. As the two dream monsters combat, Ronan notices that Kavinsky is standing purposefully in the path of destruction. Ronan shouts to Kavinsky to get down, but “Kavinsky didn’t look away from the two creatures. He said, ‘The world’s a nightmare.’ A second later, the fire dragon exploded into him. It went straight through him, around him, flame around an object. Kavinsky fell. He crumpled to his knees and then slumped gracelessly off the car.” Ronan remarks that “Kavinsky was dead. But he had been dying since Ronan met him. They both had been.” Both characters started off in the same place: depressed, amazed yet terrified at their ability to bring things from their dreams, coping with alcohol and street racing, mired in self-hatred and internalized homophobia, but only one of the characters makes it out.

The opposite endings Ronan and Kavinsky receive show the dangers of not accepting yourself and warn us of the self-hatred that often comes with having a marginalized identity. This story is steeped in a magic: there’s dreamworlds and kings and nightmare monsters, but it is a story completely applicable to real life. Ronan also starts off wondering “what am I?” and worrying that the answer is a “creature.” This parallels how certain identities can make one a monster in the eyes of society. Thankfully, Ronan realizes that he is not a monster for either secret or for either piece of his identity.

When I read The Dream Thieves for the first time years ago, I was somewhere between my own “no, I didn’t” realization, but before my “I don’t” moment. I was so moved by Ronan’s story. After watching Ronan progress through The Dream Thieves, burdened by the secrets he will not admit and terrorized by the monsters of his own creation, we can rejoice when he tames his monsters, accepts himself, and realizes he does not deserve his hatred. I can only hope that young readers will look at how undeserving Ronan is of his self-loathing and how he unlearns it, and undertake that same journey themselves.

This story lays a roadmap for young readers to forgo the self-loathing they may feel at certain aspects of themselves. Reader can to find love and adoration for characters who have yet to find love for themselves, and in watching these characters find ways to accept shunned and monstrous parts of themselves, they can be encouraged to embark on their own journeys of banishing self-hared.

Perhaps this is why there are so many memorable stories of monsters being transformed by love and self-acceptance, such as the recent The Shape of Water and the enduring Beauty and the Beast. Regarding this last story, psychologist John Gressel P.h.D., says the story encourages us to “find the beauty in the beasts in our lives.” He tells readers to

“Think of some part of you or your life that you don't like, can't accept, wish were otherwise… some aspect of yourself or your circumstances that has you feeling trapped, that you hate, that you want to go away or to escape from. According to this tale… you must learn to love this very thing you currently hate... Until you do, you are trapped in this prison cell of not accepting yourself or your life as it is. It is only through this kind of self acceptance, genuine and complete, that… we can unite with this previously unacceptable feature of our lives and live happily ever after. This is when that which we despise is transformed into something beautiful.”

In Beauty and the Beast, the Beast is literally transformed by earning Belle’s true love. As Gressel points out, Beauty and the Beast – and I would argue Twilight and The Dream Thieves –encourage the reader to “learn to love [the] very thing you currently hate.” Monster stories geared towards young people, whether in classics from the 1800s or in modern Young Adult novels, are a great opportunity to warn young readers of the dangers of self-hatred and the power of loving and accepting yourself.

In The Dream Thieves, Ronan’s self-hatred is literally a threat against his life. His dreams are filled with monsters that hate him as much as he hates himself, and he has to contend with these monsters when he brings them into his waking life. After accepting his sexuality, his monsters – and his self-hatred – are transformed similarly to how Gressel describes the meaning of monster stories happening when something “we despise is transformed into something beautiful.”

#the dream thieves #monsters #monster theory #literature #the raven cycle #ronan lynch #beauty and the beast

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ey8508 · 5 years ago

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Rumors & Secrets LZ

Totally more contents about LZ : )

[Finally, we meet again]

Note:

R&S for this card (CG above)

Chapter SPOILERS up to chapter 37 (read with your own risk)

Contains 5 chapters

Translation isn’t 100% accurate (or grammar errors)

This is mostly in Li Zeyan’s POV before he meets MC (in the past original timeline) and ends with the iconic “Evolver?” question (where it all begins in chapter 1)

Do not repost to any other site (reblog is fine)

Chapter 1

Page 1

The sun is slowly setting...

At the horizon, a large rose color slowly fainted from the golden sunlight, soaking the low-hanging cloud curtain, allowing the color of the stratus clouds to burst out, reflecting the blue sea surface that meets the sky.

The extended Bentley drove away from the bustling part of the town and moved slowly along the winding road. It rained at noon, and the air was full of the smell of wet soil and raindrops soaking leaves. Li Zeyan lowered half of the car window and turned his gaze to the red-brick and white-walled building under his feet, unconsciously a little surprised.

Eze, one of the most beautiful towns on the Mediterranean coast, is also the former residence of Li Zeyan's grandfather and grandmother.

Page 2

Since he can remember, he has often come to Eze with his mother to stay for a while. The leisurely and beautiful memories of his youth are composed of the humid sea breeze here, the touch of the ankle being drawn by the low bushes, and the moment when the eyes are filled with bright and full bouquets.

Mother always likes to go to the market in the early morning to buy a few bunches of flowers, before he gets up. He then will put the flower branches in various containers or clay pots or glasses as the way he likes.

When grandpa and grandma were still alive, they would have a richer breakfast. Although they had settled in Eze early in the morning, they still had a Chinese stomach. They wanted to eat porridge and noodles. When they passed away, breakfast becomes a little simpler, only bread, omelette, or instant cereal...

Page 3

Of course, his mother is also studying cooking seriously and wants to cook some complicated dishes for him, but progress is slow.

Although these memories became more and more blurred with his busy life, as soon as he returned here, the images of sunlight, green trees, ocean, and flowers in his mind became particularly clear.

The corners of Li Zeyan's lips showed a faint smile.

The video conference is already being connected, and Li Zeyan withdraws his gaze and sets his sights on the laptop in front of him. Soon, several young people in suits and leather shoes appeared in the meeting room. Although their hair colors were different, their pupils were different, the confident and relaxed look on his face was particularly noticeable.

Page 4

They are several industry stars recently discovered by Li Zeyan. They have been successively arranged in several venture capital companies established by Huarui overseas. In Li Zeyan's view, the times have changed. It is no longer the person in the investment department holding a bunch of industry data. In financial statements, you can easily figure out whether a company really has the stage of commercial value. They need to work hard in a field, understand every link that a student can accomplish, understand the most innovative business models, and look at all new things with suspicion and surprise.

They can contact any field they are interested in on the platform of Huarui, accumulate experience, and become Li Zeyan's eyes for exploring new tracks.

Page 5

The car drove halfway through the mountain, and the cascading sunset cast a golden glow on Li Zeyan's face, covering his smiling eyes in a warm color.

[They're talking in EN]

"Li, looks like you've got a brilliant sunset."

"It sure is."

[Back to CN]

"Isn't it Eze? It's a place worth sitting on the balcony all day."

" Indeed. "

Page 6

[Now they're talking in French]

"Better to drink good wine and appreciate the scenery."

"D'accord."

Chapter 2

Page 1

The relaxed video conference ends when the vehicle reaches the top of the mountain.

Li Zeyan got out of the car, strode forward, and a gentle breeze came towards him, messing with the strands of hair on his forehead. He fastened the suit that was blown up by the wind, took the rose bouquet from the entourage, and walked to the corner he knew.

Only a little golden light remained in the setting sun, hooked in the dark blue of the starry sky, quietly spilling on the white marble tombstone.

"mother."

Page 2

Li Zeyan put down the flowers, took out a brown handkerchief from his pocket, and knelt down to wipe the floating dust on the monument. Although there are people taking care of it every day, the tombstone is never slender. Every few days someone will come to replace a bunch of flowers, they are all taken care of and was cleaned with moisturizing liquid in the crystal vase that was placed in front of the tomb.

"Father was originally going to come over, but something happened temporarily. He asked me to bring you this bouquet of roses to make amends."

Li Zeyan slowly stood up as he spoke, looking at the sun that had completely sunk at sea level, inadvertently folded his fingers slightly, and clenched into a fist.

Page 3

On this day of the year, he will definitely take time to return to Eze. Although the schedule is tight, sometimes he can only stand in front of the grave for a short while, and has to rush to the next meeting. However, he still insists on coming in person...

His mother's death day is of extraordinary significance to him.

Li Zeyan breathed the cool air at the top of the mountain and talked about trivial matters for no reason.

"The charity project I talked to you last time is fully operational. I have found a lot of professional teachers who are willing to teach music to disabled children. Many of them have experience in caring for disabled children. Some also have a background in music schools. It should not be an issue to send gifted children to regular schools in the future-"

Page 4

"By the way, I saw the Moments two days ago. Aunt Gu said that she wants Wenwen to accept the wedding, as she has a very good boyfriend. Given her previous battles with Wenwen to urge her to marry, I think they will be urged to get the certificate soon."

" Do you remember Ronan? He went to Italy two days ago and sent me a two-meter sculpture, the sculptured piece was me.

...It is really difficult for him to spend such a large cost to let the world's best sculptor accompany him to do such boring things."

After a moment of silence, he remembered another thing.

Page 5

"Father’s favorite program "Discovering Miracles", the ratings and profitability of the last year are not good, Huarui is preparing to divest. Although it is a pity to say that, in the process of fast-forwarding, many people have been left behind, and "Discovering Miracles" is just one of them."

The hands on the dial had reached the time when Li Zeyan planned to leave, but he was standing in the dark, looking deeply at his mother's silent gravestone.

A breath of wind was quickly blown away by the night wind, and his voice became lighter while he was talking.

"All leads are broken..."

"I still didn't find her."

Page 6

After that, Li Zeyan sighed slightly emotional. He retracted his gaze from the tombstone, raised his hand to shake off a leaf hanging on the neck of his suit, and then strode away.

As if responding to his lonely back when he left, a quiet meteor suddenly struck across the endless night.

Chapter 3

Page 1

On the tarmac, Li Zeyan's private jet had been waiting for a long time. The weather tonight was good and the field of vision was wide. When boarding the plane, the captain rarely suggested that he could take a look at the sea covered with white moonlight from the porthole.

As soon as he sat down, Wei Qian walked over with his tablet computer.

"President. Regarding today's schedule, there are some parts that need your confirmation."

"First of all, the equity investment plan of the SE network video platform has been formally established. The relevant meeting is scheduled at 2 pm, and the representatives of SE will land at 12 noon, and the airport pick-up personnel have been arranged."

Page 2

"But you have promised Mr. Chen to attend his cocktail reception at 7pm on time, so the dinner after the meeting with the SE representatives..."

"Just say that we understand their hard journey, postpone the meal for one day, let them rest for the night."

"Understood. Also, Yaoxing Circus has accepted our invitation and is willing to come to Lianyu City for performances. However, they still have some doubts about the performance venue and performance permits, and they want to determine the original schedule. Is it possible to successfully obtain the performance license? Regarding this point, I have asked the relevant person in charge to prepare the materials required to apply for the license. I apply in the name of Hua Rui. I believe that it is not a big problem to get this license. So please ask the president, can you give them a positive answer directly?"

Page 3

Li Zeyan nodded faintly, and turned his sight out towards one of the porthole. The plane was flying over the city, and the star lights were gathered in his eyes. In the darker glass, a pair of eyes were also as deep as night.

"President Mr. Bao's payment for this month has passed, but he replied to this email and asked me to convey it to you."

"He said that he has only found some useful clues in the first few years before. In the last year, almost nothing was collected. He loves money very much, but he does not want to take your money for nothing. None of these investigations have yielded much. He is willing to help you do some commercial work. Business. No additional fees will be charged to you. He has a wide range of knowledge and resources. If you can find some news, you can help your friends... "

Page 4

Lao Bao's original words were "commercial espionage," and Wei Qian thought about it repeatedly before coming up with this rhetoric.

Li Zeyan couldn't help but smile faintly when thinking of Lao Bao's joking expression.

"Tell him, we don't need it for now. Hua Rui's information channels may not be less than his. Let him take money at ease and do things seriously."

Wei Qian replied in a low voice and stopped talking. The silence in the cabin was comparable to that of the night. The plane traveled steadily in the quiet, clear night, repeating the journey it had traveled countless times without moving.

Chapter 4

Page 1

Half an hour later, Li Zeyan finished shower, changed into a white bathrobe and sat on the bedroom sofa.

The red wine in the decanter has reached its best taste. Li Zeyan poured himself a half glass and tasted it, his expression was neither salty nor light. He vaguely remember that this 85-year-old Romanee-Conti seems to be a gift specially given to him by a director of Yuelai Entertainment at the auction.

At Yuelai Entertainment, Li Zeyan was tasting the wine, and a few projects that could work with them flashed in his mind, but when then changed his mind, as he puts it down.

Can wait, they are not qualified now.

Page 2

Li Zeyan leaned on the sofa, turned on the computer, and casually browsed the letters in the mailbox and the approval process.

An e-mail with the subject "Facial Structure and Profit Prospect Analysis Report" was lying on the first line of his mailbox. He clicked it in and glanced at the conclusion part 1 hastily.

According to the final data analysis, the film company’s only variety show "Discovering Miracles" lost about 80% of its audience in the last year, and its ratings ranked thirteenth (that is, third from the bottom) among the programs at the same time. At the same time, the film and television company has changed the person in charge a few months ago. The investigation showed that the person in charge had no experience in program production, company management, business negotiation, etc. before officially taking over the company. Accordingly, the venture capital department requested the president and the board of directors to suspend the continued capital injection of the company.

Page 3

Li Zeyan replied to the email with one hand with little thought: Approval of the withdrawal.

It never takes him too much time to make such a decision.

In the last two weeks, Li Zeyan has divested five companies, and this film and television company is the sixth. At the same time, he also made a lot of investment transactions, such as SE.

Huarui's capital chain is operating at a high speed, quickly responding to the market.

Page 4

Many people think that there is a gamble in this. Li Zeyan never denies that Huarui's style of offensive and never procrastinating seems too "aggressive" in the entire industry. But it doesn't matter. He knows better than anyone that the steady fight of the so-called industry giants is just a strategy that has to be adopted without an efficient business promotion mechanism and redundant management structure.

In a few years, perhaps Huarui will do the same.

But it doesn't matter, before that, he will lay the best foundation for Huarui, so that Huarui can still maintain active and vigorous vitality in the continuous expansion.

Page 5

After drinking the red wine in the glass in one sip, Li Zeyan pressed the sleep mode on the remote control, the light-shielding plate slowly fell, and the surrounding lights dimmed a little bit. He walked into the bathroom again to brush his teeth and wash to end the busy day.

This night, Li Zeyan had a deep dream.

In the time of emptiness, countless spots of light flowed slowly between his fingers. He tried to hold one or two in the house, but every time he made a fist and opened it, his palm was empty. Someone was smiling in front of him, her long light brown hair was slightly curly, and the corners of her lips were slightly raised with a smile, that was his mother. She smiled at him, her eyes calm and gentle, as if looking at a unique treasure in the world. She seemed to be asking something, but she also seemed to be just smile quietly.

He couldn't keep up with her.

Page 6

He knew that he had been waiting for a long time in a strange vortex, but who was he waiting for?

The indicator light on the wing is not clear in the thick night, the whole continent under the clouds is sleeping, and the time is as quiet as stopping, freezing the whole world at this moment.

In the sky, the stars are shining, and the whole Milky Way witnesses him breathing while in a dream.

Page 7

In the same deep dream, a girl was holding a mobile phone with a flashing light in her arms, and she was talking indifferently in a drowsy sleep.

As the two ends of the world are finally connected, the trajectory that continues to move forward is quietly changed.

The smoothly moving plane passed the sunrise scenery on the horizon.

The light-shielding board was slowly raised in accordance with the program instructions, and the first ray of sunlight in the morning shone into the porthole, covering Li Zeyan's bed.

Chapter 5

Page 1

Li Zeyan originally planned to go directly to Hua Rui, but halfway through, he received a message that Mr. Cai said that he had committed rheumatism and wanted to ask him for two days off.

He was a little worried, and after hesitating a little, he decided to visit.

Coincidentally, it was close to the meal time when he went to visit. The elderly eat early, and the house is full of plants when he enters the door. Mrs. Cai said that it would keep her down for a casual meal. He couldn't refuse the meal, so she took over the dishes.

Li Zeyan held a bowl straight at his waist, eating, and asking about Mr. Cai's condition. He had already arranged for a doctor to follow up for Mr. Cai before he finished the meal.

Page 2

Mr. Cai was grateful, and remembered some gossip he had seen on the Internet before, "I saw a lot of people commenting about the restaurants on the Internet. You must have seen it, manager, don’t keep it to your heart."

Li Zeyan smiled, he did not expect Mr. Cai to comfort him in return, "Mr. Cai, I never care what they think, how the restaurant wants to operate, I have always been aware of this, please rest assured. You can rest in peace in these two days. According to what I just said, Souvenir will be out of business for a week. Firstly, see what the doctor says."

Mr. Cai pounded his long-painful knee with a smile on his face, "I am old and useless. You don't have to do it for me"

Li Zeyan remarks "It's nothing"

Page 3

Then Mrs. Cai silently took a thin blanket from the living room to cover her husband. The two couples looked at each other for a short time, and said nothing. They still followed the topic just now and started talking cheerfully. The restaurant diners praised the manager’s craftsmanship.

Li Zeyan took the scene in his eyes, and a faint smile flicked across his lips.

After finishing light meal with a cup of tea, Li Zeyan did not want to disturb the couple too much, and left after that.

When he came, the weather was fine, the sun was fragile, and there was a leisurely sunny day scenery. Unexpectedly, when Li Zeyan walked to the intersection across the street from Huarui, there was both the sun and rain.

Page 4

He thought of the evening reception, thinking about whether to let Wei Qian bring him a clean suit. At this moment, a petite girl suddenly stood in front of him.

The green light on the crosswalk turned red just after the countdown, the vehicles coming from a distance did not slow down at all, and the girl was still standing in the middle of the road slowly, not aware of the coming danger!

It happened too suddenly, and two rapid bangs rang out.

Page 5

Li Zeyan's expression between his eyebrows changed slightly, and all the noise around him stopped in the moment.

He took a step forward and held her in his arms.

The girl stared at him with stunned eyes.

"Evolver?"

When time stands still, raindrops hover in the air, he also stopped his gaze.

#rumors and secrets Victor #love and producer #love and producer li zeyan #mr love queen's choice #mr love queen's choice victor #mr love li zeyan

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treppenwitzzarc · 4 years ago

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aesthetics for the entities, part ii. bold what applies to your muse, italics what applies situationally or only in certain verses. rest of the fears here. this is based on a horror podcast; potentially triggering and / or upsetting content ahead!

RONAN LYNCH .

viii. the hunt. sharp canines. sore calves after a run. the scent of blood. an adventure for the journey’s sake. the adrenaline right before the kill. a whistle’s echo. the woods. the doe eyes of a prey animal. your own breath in the air. sharpened claws. being tracked. fear of someone knowing your every movement. hunting down monsters. hide and seek. running away only to end up where you started. staying alive purely because the enemy enjoys seeing you run. a set of footsteps behind you. blood dripping from bare hands. barks and growls. focused eyes. a victim going limp under your hands. a mouth full of fresh blood. catching the scent of something monstorous. perfecting your craft. peering into the dark and running after it.

ix. the lonely. an apartment too small for a double bed. completely vacant streets. waking up to see everyone gone. fog. point nemo. a house too big to hear your family members in. alone in a faceless crowd. a mask with nothing behind it. separated cubicles. a deafening silence where joy should be. a blinding spotlight. the least missed in your friend group. streets without lights in the windows. isolation. not truly knowing your friends. your friends not truly knowing you. need for silence. fear of crowds. staring into space knowing nothing is looking back at you. a ship alone at sea. depression. knowing your friends are better off without you. talking to someone only to realise they’re gone. a family too large to notice you there. safety in being alone.

x. the slaughter. a game of tag. senseless violence. a true crime hobby. improvised weapons. blinding rage. intent to kill. a horrific day in a quiet community. a medal of bravery. holding on to what validates your anger. history books that spare no details. an injury you want revenge for. war. counting kills. songs of soldiers. a knifeblock on the counter. a pool of blood. shellshock. unspeakable horrors. anger pushing you forward. unimaginable pain. not seeing who will hurt you but knowing the pain is coming. a fully human monster. an authority sending its lessers to their deaths. kill or be killed. unedited wartime memoirs. a weapons collection. not knowing the names of who you kill. too many to remember. loss of hope. there’s no heroes in war.

xi. the spiral. sleep deprivation. corridors you can get lost in. maze puzzles that loop back on themselves. losing possessions. losing people. losing your sanity. corkscew curls. rows of funhouse mirrors. optical illusions. a separate reality. walking through the wrong door. delusions. not knowing what your hands are doing. blank spaces in documents. hallucinations. wrong proportions. a nameless thing. a place that has never existed. doubting your own mind. blind faith. losing track of names, labels, categories. distorted sound. an imperfection in a glass that twists the view. loss of time. a garish colour. doors that open to nowhere. lies. an unnatural laugh. jokes and tricks. illusions. a doorway. a sculptor with a wild imagination. limbs in impossible angles. doing what’s fun, not what’s sensible. fractals you can get lost in.

xii. the stranger. wax figures. a close approximation of a human face. a borrowed appearance. a strange smell. glass eyes. furs and pelts. a dance. a song of a choir. the uncanny valley. stitching yourself together. the colours of a circus. a puppet with no strings. mannequins. glitter and sequin. a stranger you’ve always known. someone strange in the place of someone you knew. stolen identities. stolen skins. a machine imitating humanity. the anonymity of a service worker. hiding in plain sight. uncomfortable to look at. a faked accent. concealing. forgetting who you are. forgetting who others are. a replacement no one notices. images that look posed. the only one seeing the false face of someone.

xiii. the vast. open spaces. carnival rides going up and down. fear of heights. endless infinity around you. your insignificance in an universe. stomach turning at a drop. fear of not the crash down but the moment you slip. the sway of a cable car. an adventure holiday. losing track of where the surface is. miles and miles of nothing around you. staring at the sky and feeling like you may fall into it. loss of control. a fall that doesn’t end in death. glass floor to the view below. terminal velocity. the sound of wind in your ears. a reach over the railing. a jump from the top of the building. falling into nothing. feeling your feet let go of the ground. a leap of faith. motion sickness.

xiv. the web. undecipherable code. a puppeteer holding the strings. power over the weak-willed. strings of fate. manipulation. an arranged accident. a hundred minions doing your bidding. cobwebs. spiders. a laid trap. never voicing discomfort. outwitting a cheater. doing things without realising it. red string across a corkboard. finding something lost where you were sure you checked. power over the unrealiability of chance. watching others dance for you. an entangled death. a thousand tiny lengs and fangs. shady forum threads. something important gone missing. suspiciously disregarded case. a missing witness. connections. the world wide web. power of victimhood. gullibility. no control over your own decisions. an invisible leash. mass psychology. a horror film in the making. scapegoat. never remembering to ask for a name.

+ the extinction. the end of an era. apocalypse movies. the alarms of warning systems. a desolate landscape. end of the world cults. nihilism. the last written history. a changed world. no survivours. old prophecies. a thousand predicted ends. a new chapter. an end with no escape. catastrophes. a calendar counting down. breaking point. overindulgence.

TAGGED BY: i stole it :))

TAGGING: @zukunftsvision , @prophezeiung, @wahrsagung, @vorhersage, @mystizismus, @luminee and @orakelspruch

#RONAN LYNCH headcanons .#QUEUE .

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naometry · 5 years ago

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Ronan and his hero journey

Alternatively: if Gansey is the Arthurian knight in the shining armor type or hero Ronan is the tragic one.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR CALL DOWN THE HAWK

“Once the spear was uncovered, it wouldn't matter if the hero's truest love or family was in the room with him; the spear would kill them anyway. Killing was what it was good at, and so killing was what it did...The spear, Dad told me, was him...He told me to make sure Ronan was the name of the hero, and not the name of just another spear.” – The Raven King

As we all well know, Maggie’s books have a lot of mythology and history in them. Varying from Glendower, Gwenllian and Boudicca to some less obvious ones, like king Arthur and his knights, the holy grail, to Fionn Mac Cumhaill, Fintan mac Bochra and finally, the one that I would like to talk about, because this is the journey that Ronan mirrors.

Cu Chulainn.

Before we start, beware that this will be quite long and I’m going with The Raven Cycle and Dreamer Trilogy timeline, more or less.

Cu Chulainn is part of the Irish/Celt mythology in the Ulster cycle. Cu is a demigod, son of a mortal woman – Deichtine, the sister of Conchobar, the king of Ulster and one of the most important gods in the Irish mythology - Lugh. In a very very very short version – this is the most popular version, there are others –: Deichtine was missing for three years with fifty maidens with her. They were turned into murderous birds that devoured everything on sight, so Conchobar and his warriors hunted them but were hit by a snow storm. They found a house and asked for shelter. In this house there was a woman and a man. The man was Lugh and the woman Deichtine. Lugh fucked off as soon as the morning his, leaving Deichtine with a child to take care of. A very powerful child.

It all depends on the source you’re reading really, but the most common version (at least that I know of, please keep in mind that mythology has different interpretations/versions depending on the source material) is that Lugh wanted an avatar to bore his power on the mortal real. In certain ways, we can say that Cu Chulainn is, in fact, Lugh reborn. Here is a Wikipedia small passage of him: “Lugh is portrayed as a warrior, a king, a master craftsman and a savior. He is associated with skill and mastery in multiple disciplines, including the arts. He is also associated with oaths, truth and the law, and therefore with rightful kingship.”

Does this story sound familiar?

Be it as it may, Lugh won. He got what he wanted in the end, an avatar on earth that bore the same power he had and then he is gone. Which is exactly what happened with Ronan. Niall got his dreamer, Niall is gone. Ronan was left to whoever wanted him and had the patience to be there for him. Who turned out to be just like Cu in the myth: Cu had Deichtine, Conchobar and Deichtine new husband, just like the warriors that where with Conchobar in that day. Ronan had Aurora, Ronan had Declan, Ronan had Matthew and later on, the Gangsey.

Well, speeding up ahead:

Just like Ronan wasn’t born Greywaren, Cu Chulainn also wasn’t born Cu Chulainn. His actual name was Setanta. Cu Chulainn is actually a title-kind-of thing. Cu Chulainn does in fact mean “The Hound of Culann”. Almost like Ronan “Gansey’s dog” Lynch.

The name was given to him because, at six years old, Cu Chulainn – part of the boy-corps at the time and already better them they all together, thanks to Lugh’s heritage – was invited to a banquet at one of the most famous smiths at Ulster, Culann.

Conchobar, who was the one to invite Setanta, forgot he was coming. So, Culann ordered that the hound of the house - who he said had the strength of a hundred men - to be freed to patrol the outside. As Setanta arrives the hound attacks him. And the boy, at the tender age of six, kills the dog smashing his head into a rock after throwing a ball so hard into the dog’s mouth that he mortally wounded it. As gruesome as this one is, Ronan’s new name is considerably less bloody. He too could have the power to do miracles that comes from heritage.

After all, what is Cabeswater if not a miracle that gave Ronan his new name?

But this is not exactly how the name “Hound of Culann” is given. Do you know why is that?

Because Setanta promised to guard Culann’s propriety until they could get a new dog. And so he did.

Many thieves, one greywaren, right? Many guard dogs, only one worth of Culann’s hound title.

Life went on, Cu Chulainn keeps getting more and more impossible things done until the point that some people just… got quite enough of him.

The thing with Cu Chulainn is that even with all the demigod fuckery, there were still warriors that could match him, in one way or another. Just like there is more than one dreamer and they all excel at different things.

What made Cu special on itself is a different thing. Ríastrad – the battle frenzy berserker mode that had his body contort in unnatural shapes and distorting him to the point of being unrecognizable as a human. This alone doesn’t seem much but when you put it along a few lines in Call Down the Hawk that I found specially interesting, it can be something else.

“It was The Dark Lady, the painting that had taken them hours upon hours upon hours to copy for the Fairy Market, but with Hennessy’s face and throat and knuckle tattoos. A perfect and cunning forgery, as good as theirs. No. Better. Because it oozed with the same magnetic, otherworldly desire that the original had and that their copy had missed. This was not a real-world copy of a dream. This was a dream of a dream. Perfect. Beyond perfect.”

Now, I’m not sure if the wording here is intentional or not but it seems to me that it means to be taken as Ronan’s version of The Dark Lady is a better of version of Nialls.

And then:

“And how would you know? Did you see the painting he did? Out of his head? It took him no time at all, maybe even better than the original Dark Lady. He said he might be able to do something just for you. You didn’t even let him try.”

Ronan might very well be a better dreamer than Niall. Is a better dreamer than Hennesy until this point – this can change along the series, so I’m not putting my hand on the fire for it yet – and is also an arguably better dreamer than Kavinsky, if you take in consideration the amount of tries he needed to get the Mitsubishi vs amount of tries that we are shown that Ronan needs to get the Camaro as stated in The Dream Thieves:

“Yours. I practiced, man!” Kavinsky gestured broadly to the field of Mitsubishis. “You see all these losers? It took me months to get it right. Look at that bitch!”

Now, this doesn’t mean in any way that Kavinsky is a bad dreamer or inferior dreamer or anything like that. Kavinsky actually is possibly on par with Niall but sadly we won’t be able to measure if because they are both so very dead. Niall exceled at the originals, like Robobee, The Dark Lady and another myriad of dream objects we see him with at some point or another. Kavinsky exceled at copies. He prided himself as a forger, as it also said in The Dream Thieves. I would even go a little further, maybe, and say that they also have another point in common in their dreams – creating life. BUT Aurora is not a perfect copy of Mor O Corra (and I can’t even say if this is deliberate or not so let’s leave this one open) while Prokopenko, on the very little we saw of him on The Dream Thieves, seems perfectly human. He is K’s favorite forgery, after all.

The thing with Ronan is that he can do both /and/ more. The thing with Ronan is that he had Cabeswater and then Lindenmere.

Which, tied with K, are the next point here.

Now, going back to Cu Chulainn’s story, Cu fell in love with a woman called Emer. Emer’s father, Forgall, wasn’t very happy with the idea that they could come to marry and probably would if he didn’t do something. Which is, in fact, very fair because Cu isn’t exactly a nice guy. He killed quite a lot of people, he is cocky, he is young and he is arrogant because he knows he is gifted and nothing will stand in his way if he puts his mind into it. Forgall calls him “the madman from Emain Macha”.

It does sound kind of familiar, doesn’t it? Even if it’s in a less tragic/dramatical way. Cu is in a path that has absolutely no other outcoming than self-destruction if he goes on like this. Here is why:

Another nice or not so nice thing about Cu is that at seven, Cu overhears the magician Cathbad – it’s nice to notice that not all scholars seem to agree in the term magician, some use wizard too. The important fact is that he is a druid and he makes prophecies. He is also the guy who gave Setanta Cu Chulainn as a name/title thing.

Anyway, Cathbad makes a prophecy for his students: any warrior that decided to pick up arms and armature would have his name to transcend all other Ireland’s youths BUT this warrior would also die really young. Can you guess what Cu, at the peak of his seven years do right? He goes on to Conchobar and asks for arms and armor. Now, Cu at seven was already a fucking menace and no arms were match to his strength. So Conchobar goes ahead and gives his own arms to Cu.

You can probably guess what I’m equaling Conchobar’s arms with right? Yeah, you guessed it. This is Cabeswater. A very dangerous thing in the hands of a teenager.

Now, going back to Cathbad prophecy, we know that K and Ronan are mirrors yeah? And that Kavinsky is what would have happened to Ronan if he didn’t choose different yeah? (Also correct me if I’m mistaken but I think it’s also said somewhere that dreamers tend to die young.)

But Kavinsky is a lot more than Ronan 2.0, he just has the same formula of a teenage dreamer with lots of trauma. They are not even close to be the same person. So, I present you the idea of Ferdia.

As I said before, Forgall didn’t really want Cu to marry his daughter so he proposes a plan to Conchobar – why Cu Chulainn doesn’t go ahead and train with Scathach? He would come back stronger and better right?

This is the time where you’re very welcome to slap me for giving this much information in a back and forth way but please bear with me I’m trying very hard to it all understandable without seeming too crazy. Just crazy is actually ok, thanks.

Now, Scathach is also part of the Ulster Cycle just like Cu. Known as the shadow maid, she is a warrior who excels at martials arts and in the use of the lance. She is, in fact, one of the most fearsome warriors of the Ulster Cycle and known to be a really good teacher. Scathach lived in Dun Scaith which more or less translates as Fortress of the Shadows/Castle of the Shadows. For you to be taught by Scathach, the first trial was to get in her home and then survive her training. It wasn’t even remotely unheard-of people dying under her tutelage and this was Forgall’s hopes for Cu.

Now, here I think it’s one of the most interesting parts. Cu has A LOT of fuckery going on in Scathach’s training that doesn’t matter much on the meta so let’s get to the parts where K is:

Kavinsky kind of fills a double role here – he has a little of Scathach as in: just like Cu kicks out her metaphorical door and demands that she teach him. (Among other things, but those are not important and this is already LONG).

Which is what happened with K yeah? Ronan learned what he needed with him and then fucked right off to nicer places.

Another interesting bit is that at the time she was teaching Cu, Scathach, as the warrior she is, was at war with her twin sister, Aife. Fearing for Cu’s life in the war, she gave him a sleeping potion so he wouldn’t go around and get himself killed.

While K motives weren’t nearly as nice as Scathach this happened too. Kavinsky repeatedly puts Ronan to sleep in order to teach him how to properly dream. Even if his properly dream is Kavinsky style – which we learn latter that his not the best way to dream for Ronan but that’s not the point I’m going for.

Long story short, Cu wakes up, defeats Aife, makes a son on her (this will be important afterwards, I promise) and fucks off to keep learning with Scathach.

Fits of parts of what happened between them yeah?

So here comes the next role K fills and this one he fills fully and not just partially – Ferdia.

Ferdia was also under Scathach’s tutelage and was the best friend – also depending of the source lover too – and during to the circumstances of the war with queen Medb which again, are not important here – he ends up battling against Ferdia. For better or worse, they were there for each other for quite a long time and loved each other a lot, until Ferdia’s and Cu’s circumstances and choices differed and they end up in different sides of battle.

Now, they battled for three days, until Ferdia got the upper hand, even with Cu Chulainn in his battle frenzy monstruous state. Ferdia had the advantage of an armor that was impossible to pierce so he called for Gae Bolg (which we will, again, talk later about) and as Ferdia heard of it, he made a mistake – leaving his chest open. Cu throws a spear at him which makes him distracted and then impales him with Gae Bolg,

While the situation is not exactly the same, Ronan and Kavinsky had a battle that was a lot like that. Kavinsky had Matthew, who Ronan loves more them himself and they battle for the right of it. Until Kavinsky gets tired. Until Kavinsky let things get out of control and commits suicide. As in:

“A second later, the fire dragon exploded into Kavinsky. It went straight through him, around him, flame around an object. Kavinsky fell.”

Again, I think Cu and Ronan are mirrors, so they don’t follow the exact same path neither the exact same formula. But I still think this is the right path to think about his journey.

Then we get to the demon, to being unmade, to Matthew, to Lindenmere and how both Ronan and Cu Chulainn hold the war for enough time until the enemy can be defeated.

This piece of Cu’s story happens both before and after Ferdia’s battle so please bear with my lengthy explanations.

First of all: the demon and how it ties to being unmade, to Matthew and the similarities is bores with the ríastrad. When the war with Medb started, the Ulster warriors were cursed – for the lack of a better word – and they couldn’t fight.

So, Cu Chulainn fights for them. During months he invoked the right of single combat with Medb’s warriors. Which is basically what he does with the demon during quite some time. And in the process he ends up being unmade. Now, the process of being unmade is described to being gruesome and violent into Ronan’s body.

He is dying after all.

And it all happens because he is special. To Ronan, it happens because he is very deeply tied to Cabeswater, he made it, he is the first one that needs to go if the demon wants to win the war. Which is basically what happens to Cu too. Medb’s warriors tried every dirty trick in the book to take Cu out and he fought until he couldn’t to hold them.

Ronan (and Adam, but this meta is about Ronan) hold him down until they all can come up with a solution, until their win is possible. (The nightwash is a similar thing to being unmade, which also, again, happens because Ronan is Ronan, because Ronan is a dreamer, because Ronan has a big gift, sometimes too big for him.)

He is special, his gift is special, they both can do it.

So they did.

Which leads to Matthew and Conla, Cu’s son. While Ronan didn’t really meant to dream up Matthew and Cu for sure did meant for Aife to become pregnant with his son, the similarities are quite lengthy.

Cu Chulainn killed his own son and it was his fault. There is no way around it. He himself made Aife promise that Conla wouldn’t identify himself, that he wouldn’t deny any battle and that Conla would search for him. Conla did search for Cu and in a truth “the apple doesn’t fall far from the three” fashion he goes around wreaking havoc exactly like young Cu did, until Cu himself comes to battle him. As he couldn’t refuse any duel, Conla and Cu battled until Cu killed him with Gae Bolg,

Ronan, during a very long time, also didn’t know Matthew was his dream. They were brothers, how could Matthew be a dream? But Matthew is and Ronan almost kill him too in his battle with the demon. And now in Call Down the Hawk we see Ronan, once again, for some reason or another, is influencing his dreams. They all search for the riverside yeah?

Do you all know what else had a deep connection with rivers?

Gae Bolg.

How Gae Bolg is used depends a lot of your source material but the most widely known version is that Gae Bolg is a spear made from the bones of a sea monster. It’s a spear that divides itself in thirty barbs and it’s thrown with a foot. It’s a terrifying weapon that if it strikes you, there is no chance of getting out alive. But it has a condition: it can only be used in streams. Now, if Cabeswater was the first weapons Cu Chulainn used as a young boy, Lindenmere is Gae Bolg. Lindenmere is dangerous, it’s wild and it’s unpredictable.

Just like Gae Bolg, there is little chance of you scaping alive if it strikes.

As Ronan himself put:

“I let Lindenmere be more of itself, whatever it was in that other place.”

“And what it is over there is dangerous.”

“Dangerous things can protect themselves,” Ronan said.

Now if Ronan and being unmade and unmaking Matthew where tied to the first weapons Cu wielded, doesn’t seem too farfetched to say that Lindenmere and the riverside problem with the dream things is connected yeah?

Another similarity is the geasa. But this one is already on CDTH:

Even the most invincible heroes could be trapped by conflicting geasa. The mighty Hound of Ulster, one of the boys’ favorite heroes, had a geis to never eat dog (“Shame,” Niall said, “it’s very tasty.”) and a geis to never refuse hospitality, and so when he was offered dog meat by a host, what other choice had he but to spiral into tragedy?

One of Ronan geis is that he can’t stop dreaming. And what is the other? Adam? Declan? Matthew? Geasa means taboo, so what is that Ronan needs to do? Or can’t do? I’m dying to know.

Also you all want to know another funny thing? Cu Chulainn was so ferocious in battle that absolutely no one dared to go ahead and verify is he was really dead. Do you all know how they knew?

Because a raven sat on his shoulder and drank his blood 😊

Please take this meta with a grain of salt, because this is my own interpretation of the story, of Ronan’s journey and my own studies in mythology in general. It’s totally possible I’m reaching a little bit too far too but who knows, right?

Also, I have absolutely no idea of why I wrote this or where I wanted to go with it. I just think the parallels are quite neat, if they are indeed true to Maggie’s (quite numerous, that’s what tipped me off) discreet mentions of Cu Chulainn along her books.

So yeah, hit me up if you wanna talk or something?

#the raven cycle #trc #ronan lynch #the raven boys #the dream thieves #blue lily lily blue #cdth meta #joseph kavisnky #call down the hawk #cdth #trc meta #idk how to tag #mom come pick me up I'm scared #also #I'm not a native speaker so there will be plenity of mistakes #but alas #CDTH #CDTH theories

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emmerrr · 5 years ago

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#17 for pynch? :)

17: “Ugh, why did I eat that?” (i have no idea how i got to this fic from this prompt but…here we are. also now i’ve finished all of them so GOOD FOR ME!)

Morning arrives unwelcome.

Adam’s instantly alert upon waking up, not like the usual half an hour it takes him to become somewhat coherent and cognitive. The other side of the bed is empty but still warm, and he can vaguely hear the shower running, so Ronan’s obviously only just got up. He doesn’t know what time it is, but he knows he needs to be on the road by midday unless he wants an absolutely hellish journey.

He also knows he doesn’t want to leave.

It’s always hard to say goodbye at the start of a new semester, but there’s always been an undercurrent of excitement there, too. The anticipation of classes and settling into a new routine and getting to learn new things. This time, all Adam feels is dread. It’s never been like this before; never has the prospect of a new semester made him clam up and lock down. Never before has everything inside him just said no quite as emphatically as this. Not about school.

The shower clicks off and Adam quickly reaches out and grabs his phone to check the time. It’s only just after seven so he puts it back, pulls the covers up higher to hide most of his face, and shuts his eyes.

A moment later the bedroom door opens and Adam listens to Ronan putter about, opening and closing the closet as he dresses for the day. Then the bed dips next to him and Adam feels the heat radiating off of Ronan, fresh out of the shower. It’s quiet for a few seconds, but then Ronan exhales slowly, and runs the back of his fingers down the side of Adam’s face. The touch is so light that Adam’s not sure he hasn’t imagined it, and it takes everything in him not to open his eyes. But the minute he does, Ronan will know that something is wrong, and Adam doesn’t know how to explain.

He just needs a moment to decide where the feeling is coming from, so he can pick it apart and then put it aside.

A kiss is pressed to Adam’s temple, and then Ronan’s weight is gone, his footsteps cross the room, and the door shuts with a quiet click behind him.

Adam is alone, and he opens his eyes.

He touches his face where Ronan’s hand just was. This, he thinks, is what I’m going to miss.

He wonders if it’s perhaps because it’s winter. They’ve just spent the holidays together and the Christmas decorations are still up, and it’s so much warmer in the Barns than it ever gets in the tiny off-campus apartment Adam shares with two other people. He had exams and deadlines before the holidays so the time off has been completely blissful in that he’s had literally no other obligations. He’s just been able to enjoy himself, and enjoy Ronan.

Maybe it’s because he’s now halfway through his third year, and the novelty has worn off, and the knowledge that he still has a year and a half to go until graduation is now just a heavy weight in his mind.

Adam doesn’t want that to be the case. But he’s trying to be honest with himself about how he feels, and at the moment, college is absolutely the last place he wants to go.

He so badly wants to stay.

Deciding that maybe a shower will bring him more clarity, Adam drags himself out of bed and into the bathroom.

It’s still steamy in there from Ronan’s shower and it is nice to stand under the hot water and wash the night off. He feels refreshed by the time he gets out and hunts down some clothes, but then he has to pack his PJs in his duffel to take back to school and his mood instantly sours again.

He thinks about the long drive ahead of him, about having to stay up late tonight to register officially for his new classes at midnight, about having to meet with his study group tomorrow. He doesn’t want to do any of it.

He wants to go back to bed with Ronan and sleep until he can face the world again.

Adam trudges quietly down the stairs and stops at the bottom of them. He can see into the kitchen from here; Ronan is pouring batter into a waffle iron. The side door in the kitchen bangs and Opal trots in, and Adam hangs back to watch. No one has noticed that he’s there.

Opal steps up to Ronan and pulls on the bottom of his sweater. “Here,” she says as he turns, and holds something out to him. It’s a sandwich. “For you.”

Ronan arches an eyebrow sky high and Adam smiles despite himself. “You made this?”

Opal nods proudly.

“Is this fit for human consumption?”

“Duh,” Opal says, and Adam can’t fully see her face from this angle but he can imagine her rolling her eyes, a gesture she learned from Ronan. And to be fair, it certainly looks like real bread, although the fact that she’s brought it in from outside is highly suspect.

“Alright,” Ronan says, accepting the offered sandwich and taking an absolutely enormous bite, which is either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave.

He chews, pauses, then hurries to the sink to spit it out. “Ugh, why did I eat that?”

Adam laughs lightly but something tugs in his chest. He can’t leave them, he doesn’t want to leave them, can’t he just stay…

He steps into the kitchen and Opal runs straight to him and grabs his hand, twirling around. Ronan turns around and points at Opal accusingly. “You said it was fit for human consumption, brat. Dirt sandwiches are not people food.”

“They are if you’re not a coward,” she sing-songs back, before laughing and running back outside before Ronan can catch her.

Ronan grabs some milk from the fridge and drinks straight from the carton to try and dislodge the taste.

“Manners, Lynch,” Adam says, grabbing it from him and pouring him a glass instead. He hands it over and Ronan drinks it down greedily. “Honestly, what were you expecting?”

“I dunno. Nutella?”

Adam shakes his head, but he’s fond, so fond. “My favourite thing about this is that she specifically took bread outside to make that. Like…she could have just used tree bark or something, but no. She committed to tricking you into eating dirt and it just worked.”

“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it so much, Parrish.” Ronan downs the rest of his glass of milk and puts it down next to the sink, then heads over to the waffle iron. “Anyway, I’m making waffles. You want any?”

Adam does want waffles. He wants nothing more than to sit down and eat a mountain of waffles and then retreat into the living room under a blanket where he and Ronan can make out until the sun goes down. Then he wants to do it again tomorrow.

It’s an overwhelming want, and Adam’s shaken by the force of it. He’s no clearer to discovering the source of the feeling, or why it’s affecting him today when he was fine yesterday.

It feels cruel to tell Ronan somehow, but Adam can’t help it. He can’t keep this inside. He loops his arms around Ronan’s waist and presses his forehead into the back of his neck.

“I’ll take that as a yes to waffles then,” Ronan says, a laugh in his voice. But when Adam doesn’t respond, Ronan reaches up to hold his hands. “Parrish?”

“I don’t want to go,” Adam says, but it’s quiet and it’s muffled against Ronan’s back.

“Adam?”

He leans back which gives Ronan the space to be able to turn around to face him, and he cups Adam’s face with his hand, his expression concerned.

Misery overtakes Adam and he looks at the floor. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here.”

Ronan remains absolutely frozen for a few seconds, but then he blinks slowly, sighs, and smiles sadly. “You’ve got classes, Adam. And a schedule. But you’ll be back before you know it.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do,” Ronan says, and his eyes narrow slightly.

Adam is abruptly annoyed. “Your waffles are burning,” he says curtly, and Ronan turns around with a curse, rescuing his waffles which are now blackening around the edges.

He tosses them onto a plate but leaves them on the counter, turning back around to Adam and crossing his arms.

“So what,” he says, and good, he’s annoyed, too, “you’re staying now?”

“Well apparently I’m not welcome,” Adam snaps, feeling awful, and is this what he’s doing? Picking a fight to make it easier to leave? That won’t work, he knows distantly that it won’t. But he wants Ronan to hold him close and say that he can stay forever and that isn’t what’s happening, and Adam doesn’t know how they got here.

“Don’t fucking do that, I never said that and you know it’s not true. This is your home, Adam, as much as it’s mine.”

Adam feels too in it to back down now. “Then fine, I’m staying. I said I wanted to stay so I’m staying.”

Ronan throws his hands up. “Okay, great, you’re staying. So you’re dropping out of college then?”

Adam pauses. “I didn’t say–”

But Ronan bulls on. “Do you want to tell them, or should I? That they can give your scholarship to someone else, that all the work you’ve put in so far means fuck all now?”

Adam scowls. “I get it, Ronan.”

He’s on a roll now. “Come on then, let’s drive up there and get the rest of your stuff. May as well get it over with. It’s a great fucking day for a road-trip.”

“I said I get it, you can stop now, I’m obviously not dropping out,” Adam snaps and he turns on his heel and walks outside, stopping briefly in the porch to pull on some wellington boots; just because he’s storming out doesn’t mean he wants to get frostbite.

He’s almost at the furthest field before Ronan catches up with him; out of breath, nose and cheeks rosy from the cold. He’s got his coat on though, and he has another one over his arm.

“Adam, I’m sorry, okay? Put this on.”

Adam stops walking and takes the coat, pulling it on. It’s warm and it smells like Ronan and all at once he’s had enough.

“Ronan,” he starts, and it’s all he needs to say. Ronan’s arms are around him instantly, safe and secure and unwavering. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Well I do,” Ronan says, and he pulls back so he can look Adam in the eye. “It’s a bad day. That’s all.”

Adam sniffs. It’s mostly from the cold. “A really bad day.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Ronan says, then offers a small smile. “If you really want to stay, you know you can. You can drop out of college and live here with me and work at Boyd’s or we could just live off family money, if that’s what you really want. But I don’t think it is.”

He scrutinises Adam for a reaction, and Adam scrunches his nose up distastefully and shakes his head. “No, that’s not what I want.” And it’s not, of course it’s not. Today’s meltdown aside, Adam loves college, and he’s worked hard for it, and he’s not quitting now just because leaving Ronan means leaving a piece of his heart behind.

Ronan kisses him, and it’s grounding and comforting and Adam melts into him. “One more Christmas like this,” Ronan whispers into the space between their lips. “Just one more, and then our time is our own. We can do this. Fuck, we’ve been doing this.”

Adam nods, and Ronan presses their foreheads together. “C’mon, Parrish. It’s freezing out here and there’s burnt waffles to eat.”

“I would’ve thought you’d prefer a dirt sandwich,” Adam says drily, and Ronan smirks.

“There’s the bastard I fell in love with.”

Later, Adam drives down the highway with one of Ronan’s mixtapes playing as loudly as the shitbox will allow. He glances down briefly and spies the soup-filled thermos that Ronan gave him before he left in the cup-holder. (”For when you get hungry, Parrish.”)

He has the memory of a thousand see you soon kisses repeating in his mind, he’s wearing Ronan’s hoodie, and he’s going to call home as soon as he arrives.

He feels better. And he smiles.

#the raven cycle #pynch #tumblr prompts #trc fic #trc

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jannaphia · 6 years ago

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Can you tell us more about Ronan? Like some info about all the kingdoms and places? Your worldbuilding seems so fascinating I’d love to know literally everything *heart eyes*

Anon, you have no idea what a can of worms you opened up here :DSorry in advance, this will be long!

Empire of Asturia

The empire used to be a small state simply called Asturia, until its then King grew a bit too ambitious, decided to expand his realm and declare himself emperor. After centuries of warring, marrying the right people, annexing and bullying smaller states into submission, the empire has become the largest nation in the history of the continent.The empire itself is split into smaller counties, duchies & land- and margravines, loosely resembling the shapes of their initial sovereign nations.Right beneath the emperor in status are the Princes or Fürsten. None of them own land per se, but those are the people controlling the fate of the empire. The senate made up of ‘ambassadors’ from the various territories now contained in the empire has very little power, and is more often than not a farce to make them feel like they have a voice in the capital.Even though the emperor rules alone, there is one person whose words may weigh even more: a True Immortal called Salain de Avennes, who has made Karisan his patron city.

Bregón

Once the counterweight to an ever hungry empire, Bregón lost much in the last war. Among those things were control of the Harrow (the main pass accross the Wilds), two regiments of finely trained soldiers (they walked too far into the Wilds and never returned) and their reigning King (assassinated by what many believed to be an old lady - nobody knows because they never got caught). The twins who inherited the throne were too young and inept to say the least. Now the crown is struggling while the merchants’ power grows with every passing day. The trade with Koshar is lining their pockets with gold, gold which they increasingly refuse to pass on to the reign - even though the king has tried to better himself after his sister’s ‘hunting accident’ (what a classic).

Dornhan

Not much to say about Dornhan, as it mostly consist of salt marsh, normal marsh, a few windy islands off the coast, hungry peasants and at least two to three kings at a time. Generally nobody knows what’s going on up there and nobody cares. They say a Bregón king tried to overthrow Dornhan once and returned home after walking 10 feet into the country.

Altarath

In Altarath the sun is blotted out every midday by an obstruction in the sky they call ‘Okirin’. Basically, there is a small eclipse every day.It’s a dark, mostly barren and harsh land, ruled by a True Immortal called Ashishkaia Anaetta Kladia, Queen of Altarath, The Eye of Okirin, who is almost worshipped as a goddess by some. The Altheli are a reclusive people, they are rarely found on the continent, but they are easily discern-able by their white pupils.

Norotvoi Islands

South of Altarath, the storm tossed Norotvoi Islands are also under the shadow of Okirin. The Norotvoi are excellent seafarers and explorers and the only people who somehow made something like a democracy work. A new leader is chosen every 6 years at a special gathering and every citizen over the age of 20 is allowed to vote (unless they stand on the deck of a ship).

Fervir

Fervir borders on eastern Asturia, and is a rather rough and archaic land. Early attempts by the empire to overthrow the state were thwarted immediately and so a peace treaty was installed, which both countries have kept to this day. It might be, because Fervir is mostly mountainous, with little means to grow resources, and their most notorious export is a steady stream of fearless warriors (getting a Fervir body guard has become somewhat ‘chique’ in Karisan). The country is divided between Arls, who rule their lands in family clans. The High Arl is seated in Falkanger, and is a chosen member of one of the many Arl families.

Lattvhila

Desperately cold and frozen, especially in winter. Nomadic families roam its tundra, who sometimes make the bothersome journey to Fervir, to sell furs, silver and whatever strange things they found under the ice.

Zaferya

‘The Bridge to the East’ is covered by steppe and desert, but that hasn’t stopped its people from building tall, tower-cities all over the planes. They always sit on top of a well, and the water is distributed evenly through a system that outsiders would describe as ‘this shouldn’t even work’.

Koshar

Koshar’s climate is rather subtropical, bordering on a desert farther inland. Its coast, however displays a much more temperate, mediterranean climate. Koshar is essentially a monarchy, lead by a man they call Adar-Malik. The Kosh are gifted artisans and craftsmen, and their pigments are in such a high demand that merchants travel as far as Norotvoi and Altarath to sell them.

Other important places..

The Wilds

The Wilds are a vast expanse of mountains and forest smack in the middle of the continent. They could almost be described as another realm, as nobody has been mad enough yet to claim ownership of them. That is why there is practically no border between Bregón and the Empire, except for a few mountain passes where the two nations meet.The Southern Wilds are a lot tamer, and not completely infested with everything straight out of your worst nightmare.

Norik

Norik, or formerly the sovereign confederacy of Norik, is now a province of the Asturian Empire, located in the north and bordering to Fervir. Its governmental system used to be similar to that of Fervir, only that it was ruled by Lords, who only chose a High Lord in times of crises. Such a crisis arose when the Empire came knocking on their door. Before the decisive battle, however, a treaty was strung up and the High Lord blackmailed into signing it, which turned out later to enable the Empire to take over the whole confederacy without compromise.

Naturally the entire population felt betrayed in such a way, that the first rebellion formed a mere week after the annexation. Ever since the Empire has been trying its hardest to gain control over its most unruly province, which continues to revolt.

Cara Reka

For some ungodly reason Cara Reka escaped the Empire’s notice when it was looking for new conquests. Maybe because the little kingdom was too small, or maybe because it lies even behind Norik and the generals just couldn’t be bothered anymore, or maybe because their cavalry is deadly and made up of Rivenhorses.

Kirchenfal

Kirchenfal used to be an independent, theocratic country, west of the Southern Wilds. They believed only priests are permitted to study and learn magic (it’s called the Pulse but that’s a whole other thing so I’ll just call it magic here), which put not only the role of leadership, but also their military and guard into the hands of their church. Back then the land used to be rich with Hakkon Silver - a mineral that shortly enhances one’s magical abilities - and when the Empire started expanding its eyes soon fell upon them.Led by greed, a general named Alos de Brevi raided the country, overthrew the trifecta church, ordered every priest and monk executed and mined the silver until there was none left to be found. Despite the Karisan court being in uproar over the cruelty of the undertaking, the money and power the silver brought soon quieted most critics and Kirchenfal has reluctantly been absorbed into the empire as county palatine, ruled by the de Brevis. Robbed of not only their main source of income, but also of their ruling class and any way to learn magic, the Falese soon surrendered to their fate, although sparsely uprisings occur and many young people flee west into Bregón or south into Koshar.

Taifa of Inezra

The little mass of land at the very western tip of the continent had been gifted to a Kosh general called Inezra al Yanin, who aided the King of Brégon in a battle against southern raiders. It was subsiquentially named after her, and when she retired from the army she set up residence in a small port she re-named Abderral. Under her patronage the small seaside town soon grew into a bustling harbour city and a haven for artists and scholars. Its library surpasses even the Karisan Archives in size and its five universities are renowned, not only on the continent, but also overseas.After al Yanin’s death, her son took over ruling the taifa, holding up his mother’s values.

...I think I’m gonna stop here lmaoYOU SAID YOU WANTED TO KNOW EVERYTHINGThanks for asking haha ♥

#ronan #HYMNS #world building #asks #anon #long post

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no1else-but-me · 6 years ago

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Book Recs if you love Jaime and Brienne

This is a collection of all the book recs I could find from @briennesjaime tumblr books rec, the reddit, and my own. Please reblog your own if you have some.

1. The Queen of Attolia which is book#2 of the The Queen’s Thief series

This is definitely more for the enemies to lovers trope. The thief even loses a hand like Jaime but under much different circumstances. The Queen is like the colder version of Brienne.

Revenge When Eugenides, the Thief of Eddis, stole Hamiathes’s Gift, the Queen of Attolia lost more than a mythical relic. She lost face. Everyone knew that Eugenides had outwitted and escaped her. To restore her reputation and reassert her power, the Queen of Attolia will go to any length and accept any help that is offered…she will risk her country to execute the perfect revenge. …but Eugenides can steal anything. And he taunts the Queen of Attolia, moving through her strongholds seemingly at will. So Attolia waits, secure in the knowledge that the Thief will slip, that he will haunt her palace one too many times. …at what price? When Eugenides finds his small mountain country at war with Attolia, he must steal a man, he must steal a queen, he must steal peace. But his greatest triumph, and his greatest loss, comes in capturing something that the Queen of Attolia thought she had sacrificed long ago…

2. The Lumatere Chronicles

One of my favorite series of all time. It’s character driven and it’s has many surprises. Starts off with Finnikin has lost hope like Jaime but gains it slowly over time. Evanjalin her honor and her pursuit of her quest reminds me very much of Brienne.

Finnikin of the Rock and his guardian, Sir Topher, have not been home to their beloved Lumatere for ten years. Not since the dark days when the royal family was murdered and the kingdom put under a terrible curse. But then Finnikin is summoned to meet Evanjalin, a young woman with an incredible claim: the heir to the throne of Lumatere, Prince Balthazar, is alive. Evanjalin is determined to return home and she is the only one who can lead them to the heir. As they journey together, Finnikin is affected by her arrogance … and her hope. He begins to believe he will see his childhood friend, Prince Balthazar, again. And that their cursed people will be able to enter Lumatere and be reunited with those trapped inside. He even believes he will find his imprisoned father. But Evanjalin is not what she seems. And the truth will test not only Finnikin’s faith in her … but in himself.

3. Howl’s Moving Castle

This one might be a stretch but hear me out. Howl is pretty much the embodiment of Jaime but probably more vain. While, Sophie really conveys Brienne self-esteem issues but still noble in her own right. Plus, their banter very reminiscent to Jaime and Brienne.

Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl’s castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there’s far more to Howl—and herself—than first meets the eye.

@temporiibus recommends The Raven Cycle!!

“There are only two reasons a non-seer would see a spirit on St. Mark’s Eve,” Neeve said. “Either you’re his true love . . . or you killed him.” It is freezing in the churchyard, even before the dead arrive. Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue herself never sees them—not until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks directly to her. His name is Gansey, and Blue soon discovers that he is a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble. But Blue is drawn to Gansey, in a way she can’t entirely explain. He has it all—family money, good looks, devoted friends—but he’s looking for much more than that. He is on a quest that has encompassed three other Raven Boys: Adam, the scholarship student who resents all the privilege around him; Ronan, the fierce soul who ranges from anger to despair; and Noah, the taciturn watcher of the four, who notices many things but says very little. For as long as she can remember, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She never thought this would be a problem. But now, as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she’s not so sure anymore. From Maggie Stiefvater, the bestselling and acclaimed author of the Shiver trilogy and The Scorpio Races, comes a spellbinding new series where the inevitability of death and the nature of love lead us to a place we’ve never been before.

The Winners Trilogy

As a general’s daughter in a vast empire that revels in war and enslaves those it conquers, seventeen-year-old Kestrel has two choices: she can join the military or get married. But Kestrel has other intentions. One day, she is startled to find a kindred spirit in a young slave up for auction. Arin’s eyes seem to defy everything and everyone. Following her instinct, Kestrel buys him—with unexpected consequences. It’s not long before she has to hide her growing love for Arin. But he, too, has a secret, and Kestrel quickly learns that the price she paid for a fellow human is much higher than she ever could have imagined. Set in a richly imagined new world, The Winner’s Curse by Marie Rutkoski is a story of deadly games where everything is at stake, and the gamble is whether you will keep your head or lose your heart.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone recommended by @realduality

Errand requiring immediate attention. Come. The note was on vellum, pierced by the talons of the almost-crow that delivered it. Karou read the message. 'He never says please', she sighed, but she gathered up her things. When Brimstone called, she always came. In general, Karou has managed to keep her two lives in balance. On the one hand, she's a seventeen-year-old art student in Prague; on the other, errand-girl to a monstrous creature who is the closest thing she has to family. Raised half in our world, half in 'Elsewhere', she has never understood Brimstone's dark work - buying teeth from hunters and murderers - nor how she came into his keeping. She is a secret even to herself, plagued by the sensation that she isn't whole. Now the doors to Elsewhere are closing, and Karou must choose between the safety of her human life and the dangers of a war-ravaged world that may hold the answers she has always sought.

The Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson. Hard SF, and the romance is definitely not a major plot, but one of the characters involved in the trope is legit my favorite fictional character of all time and that journey from enemy to friend to lover is a big part of it.

In his most ambitious project to date, award-winning author Kim Stanley Robinson utilizes years of research & cutting-edge science in the 1st of a trilogy chronicling the colonization of Mars: For eons, sandstorms have swept the desolate landscape. For centuries, Mars has beckoned humans to conquer its hostile climate. Now, in 2026, a group of 100 colonists is about to fulfill that destiny. John Boone, Maya Toitavna, Frank Chalmers & Arkady Bogdanov lead a terraforming mission. For some, Mars will become a passion driving them to daring acts of courage & madness. For others it offers an opportunity to strip the planet of its riches. For the genetic alchemists, it presents a chance to create a biomedical miracle, a breakthrough that could change all we know about life & death. The colonists orbit giant satellite mirrors to reflect light to the surface. Black dust sprinkled on the polar caps will capture warmth. Massive tunnels, kilometers deep, will be drilled into the mantle to create stupendous vents of hot gases. Against this backdrop of epic upheaval, rivalries, loves & friendships will form & fall to pieces--for there are those who will fight to the death to prevent Mars from ever being changed. Brilliantly imagined, breathtaking in scope & ingenuity, Red Mars is an epic scientific saga, chronicling the next step in evolution, creating a world in its entirety. It shows a future, with both glory & tarnish, that awes with complexity & inspires with vision.

The Folk of the Air

Of course I want to be like them. They’re beautiful as blades forged in some divine fire. They will live forever. And Cardan is even more beautiful than the rest. I hate him more than all the others. I hate him so much that sometimes when I look at him, I can hardly breathe. Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King. To win a place at the Court, she must defy him–and face the consequences. As Jude becomes more deeply embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, she discovers her own capacity for trickery and bloodshed. But as betrayal threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.

Feyre's survival rests upon her ability to hunt and kill – the forest where she lives is a cold, bleak place in the long winter months. So when she spots a deer in the forest being pursued by a wolf, she cannot resist fighting it for the flesh. But to do so, she must kill the predator and killing something so precious comes at a price ... Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.

@swainlake recommends the darkest powers trilogy by kelley armstrong is really good

My name is Chloe Saunders and my life will never be the same again. All I wanted was to make friends, meet boys, and keep on being ordinary. I don't even know what that means anymore. It all started on the day that I saw my first ghost - and the ghost saw me. Now there are ghosts everywhere and they won't leave me alone. To top it all off, I somehow got myself locked up in Lyle House, a "special home" for troubled teens. Yet the home isn't what it seems. Don't tell anyone, but I think there might be more to my housemates than meets the eye. The question is, whose side are they on? It's up to me to figure out the dangerous secrets behind Lyle House... before its skeletons come back to haunt me

@imladriss recommends: We hunt the flame by hafsah faizal

People lived because she killed. People died because he lived. Zafira is the Hunter, disguising herself as a man when she braves the cursed forest of the Arz to feed her people. Nasir is the Prince of Death, assassinating those foolish enough to defy his autocratic father, the king. If Zafira was exposed as a girl, all of her achievements would be rejected; if Nasir displayed his compassion, his father would punish him in the most brutal of ways. Both are legends in the kingdom of Arawiya—but neither wants to be. War is brewing, and the Arz sweeps closer with each passing day, engulfing the land in shadow. When Zafira embarks on a quest to uncover a lost artifact that can restore magic to her suffering world and stop the Arz, Nasir is sent by the king on a similar mission: retrieve the artifact and kill the Hunter. But an ancient evil stirs as their journey unfolds—and the prize they seek may pose a threat greater than either can imagine. Set in a richly detailed world inspired by ancient Arabia, We Hunt the Flame is a gripping debut of discovery, conquering fear, and taking identity into your own hands.

@moirindeclermont recommends anything from Jacqueline Carey (she is a goddess and my favourite writer) but also Deborah Harkness (A discovery of witches) which is amazing, I’m obsessed with it. Nemesis by Isaac Asimov touches some themes similar to Brienne’s. Arn the knight

The land of Terre d'Ange is a place of unsurpassing beauty and grace. It is said that angels found the land and saw it was good... and the ensuing race that rose from the seed of angels and men live by one simple rule: Love as thou wilt. Phèdre nó Delaunay is a young woman who was born with a scarlet mote in her left eye. Sold into indentured servitude as a child, her bond is purchased by Anafiel Delaunay, a nobleman with very a special mission... and the first one to recognize who and what she is: one pricked by Kushiel's Dart, chosen to forever experience pain and pleasure as one. Phèdre is trained equally in the courtly arts and the talents of the bedchamber, but, above all, the ability to observe, remember, and analyze. Almost as talented a spy as she is courtesan, Phèdre stumbles upon a plot that threatens the very foundations of her homeland. Treachery sets her on her path; love and honor goad her further. And in the doing, it will take her to the edge of despair... and beyond. Hateful friend, loving enemy, beloved assassin; they can all wear the same glittering mask in this world, and Phèdre will get but one chance to save all that she holds dear. Set in a world of cunning poets, deadly courtiers, heroic traitors, and a truly Machiavellian villainess, this is a novel of grandeur, luxuriance, sacrifice, betrayal, and deeply laid conspiracies. Not since Dune has there been an epic on the scale of Kushiel's Dart-a massive tale about the violent death of an old age, and the birth of a new.

Deep in the stacks of Oxford's Bodleian Library, young scholar Diana Bishop unwittingly calls up a bewitched alchemical manuscript in the course of her research. Descended from an old and distinguished line of witches, Diana wants nothing to do with sorcery; so after a furtive glance and a few notes, she banishes the book to the stacks. But her discovery sets a fantastical underworld stirring, and a horde of daemons, witches, and vampires soon descends upon the library. Diana has stumbled upon a coveted treasure lost for centuries-and she is the only creature who can break its spell.

In a hail of fire and flashing sword, as the burning city of Acre falls from the hands of the West in 1291, The Last Templar opens with a young Templar knight, his mentor, and a handful of others escaping to the sea carrying a mysterious chest entrusted to them by the Order's dying Grand Master. The ship vanishes without a trace. In present day Manhattan, four masked horsemen dressed as Templar Knights emerge from Central Park and ride up the Fifth Avenue steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art during the blacktie opening of a Treasures of the Vatican exhibit. Storming through the crowds, the horsemen brutally attack anyone standing between them and their prize. Attending the gala, archaeologist Tess Chaykin watches in silent terror as the leader of the horsemen hones in on one piece in particular, a strange geared device. He utters a few cryptic Latin words as he takes hold of it with reverence before leading the horsemen out and disappearing into the night. In the aftermath, an FBI investigation is led by anti-terrorist specialist Sean Reilly. Soon, he and Tess are drawn into the dark, hidden history of the crusading Knights, plunging them into a deadly game of cat and mouse with ruthless killers as they race across three continents to recover the lost secret of the Templars.

Irissa and Kendric Series

Irissa was the last of the sorcerous Torlocs, untutored in magic and abandoned upon this decaying world by her people. Kendric was one of the Six of Swords, gifted with a legendary weapon to guard the Realms from harm. But now he was an outcast, and his death was sought with reason by the other Five. Sorceress and swordsman, they were thrown together; each filled with ancient prejudices against the other. But only by combining her uncertain powers with his remaining skills could they survive. Survive they must, however. Rule was a world formed upon magic - but now magic was failing and there would soon be no place for it. And destiny in strange guise had chosen them to make one last stand against the dark forces that were waiting at the Gate of Valna, seeking to destroy their world

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Orphaned as a child, Jane has felt an outcast her whole young life. Her courage is tested once again when she arrives at Thornfield Hall, where she has been hired by the brooding, proud Edward Rochester to care for his ward Adèle. Jane finds herself drawn to his troubled yet kind spirit. She falls in love. Hard.

But there is a terrifying secret inside the gloomy, forbidding Thornfield Hall. Is Rochester hiding from Jane? Will Jane be left heartbroken and exiled once again?

Since its immediate success in 1813, Pride and Prejudice has remained one of the most popular novels in the English language. Jane Austen called this brilliant work "her own darling child" and its vivacious heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, "as delightful a creature as ever appeared in print." The romantic clash between the opinionated Elizabeth and her proud beau, Mr. Darcy, is a splendid performance of civilized sparring. And Jane Austen's radiant wit sparkles as her characters dance a delicate quadrille of flirtation and intrigue, making this book the most superb comedy of manners of Regency England

In the medieval and fantastic realm of Tortall, Keladry of Mindelan (known as Kel) is the first girl to take advantage of the decree that permits women to train for knighthood. But not everyone in Tortall believes a woman is up to the task, and Kel faces harsh discrimination. With unparalleled determination and a knack for leadership, she captures the hearts of her peers and proves that she is not a girl to underestimate!

#jaime x brienne #braime #brienne of tarth #jaime lannister #We should start a book club #only half joking #but for real we should #next up does anyone have shows and movies that fit the dynamic of Jaime and Brienne #long post

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anagentinwriting · 6 years ago

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To Catch a Thief - Part 8

Summary: Being an FBI field agent was your dream job but having been stuck behind a desk for most of your career you’ve almost given up. Fortunately, a series of robberies with minimal evidence forces you to assist a team in the field to help solve the case. But when the only thing left behind is a series of song lyrics, will you be able to find the perp? Or will the number of obstacles and lack of evidence keep you from solving the case?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 3970

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, guns mentioned

To Catch a Thief Masterlist / Main Masterlist

It was 8 o'clock sharp on Thursday night which meant movie night and take-out food at Peter’s. You haven’t hung out since your birthday, and you hated to admit it, but you missed him. Sure, you were tailing him all week and texting each other, but it wasn't the same.

“Hey, Peter. What’s up?” You barged through his front door not bothering to knock.

“Trying to figure out where to order from,” he answered, sifting through the huge stack of menus. “Any ideas? Mexican, Greek, Chinese, Italian….”

“I’m down for whatever,” you interrupted him. You didn’t need to hear all the different menus when we would end up ordering pizza from down the street. “Ah...Can I ask you a question that's been bothering me?” He hummed. “How do you know Yondu?”

“Oh, that…...” He set the menus down and spread them out and closed his eyes picking one at random. He looked at the menu with disgust, then did it again. This time he seemed satisfied and cleared his throat as his eyes ran across the menu. “He was the first officer on the scene the night my father was murdered.”

“Oh, okay. Wait, hold up….your father was murdered?” You raised your brows as your mouth dropped open in shock. You knew this, but you had to play the part. “You only told me he died.”

“Uh yeah….petty details. Look, I don’t want to get into this tonight. Can we just hang out and forget about life’s problems?” He rocked on the back of his feet tapping the menu against his palm.

“Of course, sorry, it's my curious nature. What’s on the agenda tonight?” Peter seemed nervous, almost like something was bothering him with the way he changed the subject so fast. Did he figure out you were on the case? Is he going to ask you about it?

“For starters, I’ve been meaning to give you this.” He stepped closer to you after grabbing a thin square covered in unicorn wrapping paper. “I was gonna give it to you on your birthday when we got back, but that didn’t happen so I waited. Then you got busy and finally your not busy, so.....”

“You didn’t have to get me anything?”

“I wanted to. Happy Birthday, YN.” He flashed you a gentle smile.

You ripped it open as your eyes widened seeing what was underneath the paper. Inside was a vinyl disk with a colorful cover that read ‘YN Birthday Mix Vol. 1’. A mixtape via vinyl, you couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face.

“I don’t know what to say, Peter. Thank you so much. I love it. No one’s done anything like this for me in….in a long time.” You turned it over and started reading the playlist.

Side A

Separate ways by Journey

Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede

I Feel the Earth Move by Carole King

Brandy by The Looking Glass

Nothing From Nothing by Billy Preston

Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel

Side B

Night Moves by Bob Seger

Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks

Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) by Elton John

Faithfully by Journey

“I’m glad you like it. You wouldn’t believe how long it took to find a guy who did this sort of thing but seeing the look on your face was well worth it,” he said with a cheeky smile on his lips.

You stared into his green eyes and it felt like you were getting caught in his trap. How could he be a suspect in these robberies if he could do this for you? He’s a great guy that doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. His gaze shifts to your lips and he leaned forward until your noses touched. His lips were millimeters away from yours while your whole body tingled with anticipation. You wanted to kiss him, but what would this lead to if he turned out to be the man in the red jacket?

“Peter, what are you doing?” You asked not pulling away from him. You needed to get yourself under control and not let your feelings get in the way of doing your job. You weren’t on the clock, but he was still your only suspect.

“Nothing,” he replied, feeling his warm breath across your lips. This sent goosebumps to your skin causing your breathing to become uneven. If it wasn’t his breath against yours, it was the way he smelt. He must’ve stepped right out of the shower before you got there because he smelled clean but dirty at the same time. He let out a shaky breath sending a shiver through your body making your knees weak. With any slight movement from you, your lips would be on his and you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself.

“What are you doing, Peter? Because if you’re doing what it looks like you’re doing, I’m not ready for that.”

“I agree, but that's clearly not what we’re doing.”

“Okay, then what do you call what we are doing?” You asked not breaking eye contact with his lips. Is this why he drove girls crazy? His constant looming over them until they finally gave in. He licked his lips, turning your stomach into knots, but you weren’t going to give in. You couldn’t.

“I call it...very close talking,” he replied with a hint of seduction in his voice.

“Ahhh..Ic. Do you have anything else to add?”

“Hmmm...” He thought it over for a good minute before shaking his head no. “No, I’m good for now.” He pulled away looking you up and down with his signature smirk plastered on his face.

“Okay.” When he pulled away, you felt yourself get dizzy as if he was the one holding you steady. You rubbed your lips together as you tried to get your mind back in order. “Ah...what movie should we watch tonight?”

“Your choice sweetheart,” he winked, plopping down onto the couch and draping one arm across the back of it.

You picked out a movie and slipped it in before joining him on the couch. You sat close enough to his side that you were touching. He didn’t pull you in closer instead he kept his arm on the back of the couch respecting your space.

As the movie started, he moved his arm between the both of you and grabbed ahold of your hand. In an instant, you intertwined your fingers with his. You peeked through your eyelashes to see his eyes focused on the screen, but a smirk was present on his face. About halfway through the movie, Peters phone rings and you snuck a peek at the screen reading restricted.

“I gotta take this.” He gave your hand a squeeze before he let go as he crawled off the couch and went to his bedroom. A restricted call. Who was on the other end of that conversation? This was the break you have been waiting for, this could finally give you the answers you needed. He came out of his room carrying his knapsack. “I have to run a quick errand. You’re more than welcome to stay and finish the movie, I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“That’s fine, I can chill out here until you get back.”

“Perfect, see you shortly.” He nodded as he closed the door behind him.

As fast as possible, you ran to your apartment to grab your car keys and slip on some shoes. You charged down the stairs, skipping two or three steps at a time hoping to beat the elevator to the garage. With seconds to spare, you close the door to your car as Peter walked out of the elevator talking on the phone. He got into his car, not suspecting a thing, and drives off with you following behind him.

You parked your car watching Peter enter an abandoned warehouse. You popped open the glove box pulling out your gun and slipping the clip in. You exited your car, shutting the door as quiet as possible, and approached the building with your gun drawn. You scanned the sides for entrances noticing a side door next to a small window. You eased the door open trying not to make any noise. Your eyes wandered the dim lit area, but no one was here except for large crates and metal barrels.

Creeping over to the area where the light radiated from, you crouched down behind a crate. There were five men present including Peter. Three guys were standing in front of who you suspected to be the man in charge. The man wore a fur coat and his white hair was standing straight up. Your eyes widened as you realized who it was. The Collector. And like every bad guy, his right-hand man, Ronan stood in front of him with two Trinkets you didn’t recognize. What was Peter doing? Did he work for them?

“About time, Quill. You're late,” Ronan yelled, The Collector smirked behind the three men.

“Traffic. It can be so unpredictable.” Peter stepped forward resting his hands behind his belt buckle.

“I don’t care. Did you bring it?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s in my knapsack,” Peter replied, rummaging through his bag and pulling out a square box. “Here it is you Big Turd Blossom.” Peter hands it over to him, and Ronan opens it as an evil grin spreads across his face.

“You’re by far a better thief than your father ever was. You have one more Infinity Stone necklace to go, so don’t fuck it up.” Ronan snapped the box closed handing it to the Collector, who nodded to Peter as a thank you.

What the fuck, Peter? He’s the guy you’ve been trying to find; he’s the one behind all of this. Why did he lie to the FBI? Why did he lie to you?

“Can I talk to--” Peter started to speak, but you snuck back out of the room. You found out the truth and you didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say.

You sat on Peter’s couch staring at your birthday vinyl disk on the coffee table. How could a guy give such a personal gift, if not the best gift you have ever gotten, and it turns out you don’t even know him. You wanted to confront him but what should you say? Or should you forget it happened and move on? You never second-guessed yourself because you always knew the right thing to do, but this time your heart was telling you one thing while your gut told you something else. Peter committed these crimes, but you still didn’t want to believe it.

“Whoa, sweetheart you’re still here? I thought you’d at least go back to your apartment,” Peter said, closing the door behind him. “Not like I’m complaining though.” He takes off his knapsack and jacket hanging it on the hook by the door. He strolled over to you and sat down beside you on the couch.

“Sorry for leaving you hanging again. Everything alright?” He asked, putting his hand on your knee.

You stare at his hand and bit your lip contemplating what you should say. “You know it’s funny how wrong you can be about a person. You think you know them and they turn out to be the exact opposite. And to think, this whole time I believed one thing and it turns out it was something totally different. Do you know what that feels like, Peter?”

“What do you mean?” He scrunched up his eyebrows.

“You must think I’m a fucking idiot.” You rolled your eyes, pushing his hand from your knee to stand. “You orchestrated all these fucking heists, didn’t you? Is that why you skipped out of dinner early on my birthday and why you left tonight?” He opens his mouth to say something, but you continue. “You’re working for The Collector and you’re the one stealing these Infinity Stone necklaces, and for what? Fame and glory, or is it the big payout at the end of this?”

He stands up, letting out a deep breath, and makes eye contact with you. “Your right…..I did it and I’m sorry. Look, I don’t know how you found out but there is more to it than you think---”

“I followed you tonight and saw every fucking thing.”

“You obviously didn't see everything if--,” Peter tried to reason, but you interrupted him.

“No, you don’t get to talk. You betrayed me. You know what that feels like. To trust someone, and get close to them, but to only have them let you down. I felt it every day after my parents passed away. I got to the point when I didn’t know who to trust, and it turns out I still put my trust in the wrong people.” You marched for the front door, only to stop and turn around pointing a finger at him. “You lied to me and to the fucking FBI, are you a fucking idiot? We could’ve helped you.”

“I was scared, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I didn’t know what to do or how to deal with this fucked up situation. You think I enjoyed lying to the FBI or to you. I hated it, but I had to do it in order to---”

“Save it, I don’t want to hear it. Did you only want to get to know me because you found out I was on the Infinity case? Did you think you could get information out of me?”

“WHAT, NO! GOD NO!” You clenched your jaw, glaring hard at him. “Well at first, yes, but things changed.”

“So, you were using me, huh? You used me just like my foster parents and siblings did. And you want to know the worst part out of all this is, I actually started to care about you.” You said, swinging the front door open only to stop at his quick words.

“Hold on. Will you hear me out?” Peter begged in a shaky voice. You didn’t need to look at him to know he was hurting, you could hear it in his voice. You wanted to run to him and hear what he had to say, but you couldn’t. You've been down this road many times before. He did what every other person in your life has done. He used you, deceived you, and worst of all he broke your heart.

“You already had your chance and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for this,” you breathed out, slamming the door shut behind you.

You parked your car in the parking lot the next morning at work with an aching back and running on little to no sleep. Last night, you made the bad decision of sleeping on the couch instead of in your comfy bed. It was childish, but you didn’t want to sleep with Peter on the other side of the wall. More so, you didn’t want him to hear you cry. You didn’t even want to think about him, but it didn’t matter because he was the only thing on your mind.

Should you turn him in? He did confess to you, but why? Everyone has a reason for doing what they do, so what was his. Should you have listened to what he had to say last night or did you do right by leaving? You still didn’t know how to process this fucked up situation.

You enter the field office and something in the air felt off. Yondu was in this office pacing back and forth on edge, which meant the other agents on the floor were feeling the same way. The only people not feeling the uneasiness in the air sat at the front desk chatting away, Luis and Kraglin.

“Hey, guys, what’s going on this morning?”

“Well for starters, Wakanda held this huge press conference about how they’ve been hiding from the world. They also want to start sharing their knowledge and resources with everyone. And the Wakandans have a lot to offer, so that’s cool I guess. Besides that nothing exciting has been happening this morning,” Kraglin stated with a half shrug. You stared at him with wide-eyed still not understanding why he thinks that is relevant at the moment.

“I meant more on the reason why Yondu is in such a tizzy?” You pointed over your shoulder at Yondu’s office.

“Ahhhh...I think it has something to do with Loverboy?” Luis chimed in with a knowing smile making Kraglin stare off in the distance confused. “Come on man, Peter Quill.” Luis hit him on the arm making Kraglin nod along as he put two and two together.

“Oh great, now what did he do? Steal Yondu’s favorite Mary Poppins figurine off his desk?”

“No why would he…..wait, you didn’t hear. Peter came in around 2 this morning saying he had information about the Infinity Stone necklaces,” Kraglin commented.

“What? Why would he do that?” You asked, looking between the two men waiting for someone to answer.

“I don’t know. Gamora is with him now trying to get information out of him, but he isn’t telling us anything. He says he will only talk to you.”

“Where is he?”

You watched Peter through the window as he sat there with his eyes focused on the two-way mirror. Did he come here right after your fight? He had light shadows under his eyes, yawning continuously, and every time his eyes closed he snapped himself awake. No amount of caffeine was going to keep him awake.

“You ready?” Gamora asked, standing behind you.

“Whoa, I’m not going in there.” You turned around holding your hands up. You were still processing what happened last night while trying to wrap your brain around the fact that Peter turned himself in.

“He’s not talking to anyone else. He requested you.”

“I don’t care what he wants. I’m not doing this.” You crossed your arms across your chest and shook your head no.

“You’re going in there, even if I have to drag you in there myself,” Gamora warned you through clenched teeth.

“Yeah, okay,” you huffed out a laugh. She wrapped her hand around your arm and started to squeeze tight as she pulled you towards the door. “Ow, ow, ow.” You pushed her hand off your arm and glared at her. “What the fuck, Gamora? You know my history with Peter, why are you forcing me to do this?”

“YN, push your personal issues aside for a moment, and go in there and do your damn job,” Gamora countered in a harsh voice.

Gamora was right, you needed to be mature about this and put your feelings aside for a moment. You had to forget about what happened last night and focus on why he decided to come forward. This was the job you signed on for and it was time to woman up. “Fine. I’ll do it,” you replied in a calmer tone.

“You got this girl. This case is riding on you,” Kraglin grinned, patting you on the shoulder. When did he get in here, was he in here the whole time?

“Thanks, no pressure at all,” you mumbled under your breath.

You walked into the interrogation room and took the seat across from Peter. You shot him your signature bitch face making him crack a lopsided smile.

“Good morning, YN.”

“Actually, it’s Agent LN.” You folded your hands on top of the desk and tilted your head at him.

“My bad,” he said, holding his hands up before setting them on the table right beside your hands. “Sorry.”

“You keep saying that, but do you really mean it? You see, what I don’t understand is why you lied to everyone that wanted to help you?” You folded your arms across your chests glaring at him.

“I was scared. They told me there will be consequences if I went to the police. I didn't want my mom or the people I care about getting killed for my carelessness,” He responded with sincerity in his voice.

“Who’s the ‘they’ you keep referring to? Is it The Collector and his crew?”

“I will explain everything, but I want something in return.”

“You’ll get a clear conscience,” you sassed, forcing him to scoff. Why was he the one making demands? He already confessed to you, but one question remained; What was his motive?

“That’s not what I meant. If I tell the truth, they’ll come after me or worse they’ll hurt my mother. I need to make sure that no matter what she’ll be safe.”

“That’s all. You want Meredith kept safe. Like, put in a safe house and under protection until this whole charade blows over?” He gave you a half nod. “What do you want out of this?” You waited for him to answer, but he didn’t say anything. “Alright, well, I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see what I can do.” You stand up and make your way to the door, but stop when he speaks up.

“You know what I want.” You shook your head yes as his eyes remained fixated on you. “I wanna hit reverse on my life and go back to the way things should have happened between us. Where one night after a hard days work, you’d come into Trash Panda for a quick drink and I’d be working behind the bar. Every time I tried to pick you up you’d shoot me down. It wouldn’t just be the one time though but it’d happened on multiple occasions. No matter how hard I tried you’d never give in because you aren’t that type of girl. Then, one night by some dumb luck, I convinced you to go out on a date with me. Then, after our first kiss….or almost kiss things changed for the better, but all good things never seem to last do they.

“The thing is we are all on the same road called life. We want it to be straight and smooth, but that’s never the case. Roads age, they crack, they need to be repaired, there are turns and curves and dead ends. There are no big signs telling us what is coming up ahead, no do not enter your life will only get worse signs and no u-turns for when you fuck up. I may have taken the wrong turn, made some bad decisions but I do know there’s always another way to get there. I hope with time I can find the right turn to earn your forgiveness.”

You were speechless. He could have gotten pardoned for all his crimes or got his whole record expunged for information, but no, all he wanted was your forgiveness. You wished you could give it to him, but it’s not that simple. What he did is unforgettable. He betrayed you, used you, and this is something you don’t take lightly. With the right amount of time, sure, you could see yourself forgiving him, but right now, you couldn’t stand to be in this room any longer.

“Thank you, Agent LN,” he spoke up, before returning his gaze back to his hands. “I know you’ll try your best to keep my mom safe.”

Meredith’s safety wouldn’t be a problem once we find her and bring her in, but your concern was Peter willingness to speak the truth. Is he going to lie and give you some prepared speech The Collector gave him? Or will he be honest and answer the questions you’ve been trying to answer for the past three months. “How can I trust you to tell the truth this time?”

“Because I’m not afraid anymore.” His green eyes flashed to yours. “I have you behind me.”

A/N: The truth is finally out! This was my favorite part to write because who doesn’t love reading a little conflict! It makes things a bit more interesting, am I right! I hope I managed to trip you up at some point into thinking that maybe the thief wasn’t Peter. If I did, that’s what I was going for! Thanks for reading!

#peter quill x reader #peter quill #peter quill reader insert #peter quill au #peter quill image #star-lord x reader #star-lord au #star-lord #star lord au #chris pratt #gotg #guardians of the galaxy #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #to catch a thief

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avelera · 6 years ago

Text

Maggie’s Captain Marvel Review:

I’m gonna put this under the cut to avoid spoilers!

...

Pros: So first off, there’s nothing not to enjoy about this film. As Marvel origin stories go, it’s one of the stronger entries. Definitely better than Dr. Strange or even First Avenger. It’s got fun, heart, strong performances, and a likable main character. It made me very excited for a second film with Carol because now that we’ve got her rather convoluted backstory out of the way, I’m ready for the angst train and some serious plot to happen. I think a second Carol movie has a strong potential to be the Winter Soldier to this film’s First Avenger if they just increase the story quality in a similar way, and they’ve got a strong team in place to pull that off.

Cons: I should preface by saying, the “cons” are all things my writer brain picked out and are criticisms of the structure of the story and not of my enjoyment. The movie was enjoyable, my time was not wasted.

My main critique is that the story lacked a central theme by lacking a central emotional conflict for Carol to overcome, a lesson for her to learn, which in general is what delivers us our theme or main thread of the story and left it feeling rather scattered between the three acts. However, given that the last time Marvel tried to give a lead female character an emotional “Dark Night of the Soul” moment it was in AoU with Nat “lamenting” how not being able to have children makes her feel like a monster *ENDLESS SIGH*... I’m ok that Carol avoided any hamfisted or failed attempt at giving her something to break down over emotionally in the final act, in favor of just making a fun action movie.

The thing is, I spent a lot of the film squinting at the screen because my writer brain was in overdrive trying to figure out WTF was going on. The first third of the movie felt like a video game tutorial to me, trying to info dump on me all the various new alien races I needed to keep track of, Carol’s powers, Carol’s squad, etc etc, and how this had anything to do with Earth or the Marvel franchise to date.

The second third of the movie seemed to introduce the theme of, “Trust No One” and managed to imbue a sense of paranoia into the narrative between the Skrull and the eventual reveal that the Kree, and Carol’s squad, as the actual bad guys. Part of me almost wished the “Trust No One” theme had been there a bit more strongly throughout because it was a good centralizing theme for the conflict.

But then the last third of the movie was pretty much just a triumphant romp. The theme became, “Carol is Awesome!” We learn she was a badass pilot, she has badass friends, she’s a badass who saves the day! The humor becomes more consistent. While it was peppered throughout the film, it goes full Guardians of the Galaxy with the period 90s girl power music. She defeats all the bombs easily and scares off Ronan with a glare, then one-shots the closest individual she had to an emotional bad guy or dark mirror, then rolls off to save the day for the refugee Skrull because yeah we love adorable refugees in theory but we don’t want them in our country, right, USA? We just want them to somehow go off and find their own magical country somewhere else.

With Captain Marvel, I struggled with figuring out what the story was about. Not about in the literal sense, but the “about” of your story is what makes it bigger than watching someone punch bad guys for a couple hours. Perhaps the fact that I’m a woman and therefore “learning” that a woman can be a badass isn’t something I notice means I missed out on the lesson the story was trying to impart.

But stories generally have an XYZ. “This is a story about X (character) who goes on a physical journey of Y (the main conflict) in which they learn Z (the overarching lesson of the tale).” In Thor 1 we meet Thor, a space prince (X) who must become worthy of his hereditary weapon and throne (Y) in order to overcome his own flaws of selfishness and immaturity (Z). Iron Man has a similar emotional theme of learning personal responsibility, as does GotG, and even Captain America 1 which takes, like Carol, someone who is pretty heroic from the beginning and then has him learn the full extent of the sacrifices he must make to save the world. These moments come together and coalesce in the “Dark Night of the Soul” moment, a character’s lowest point reveals what they needed to learn all along as they suffer a fate worse than death for a portion of the narrative to show us what they most feared to lose.

Generally speaking in a plot formula the Dark Night of the Soul happens right before the Climax in the third act. It’s the moment where the protagonist is brought to their lowest point emotionally and learn the lesson they’re supposed to learn in this story, which prepares them to throw everything into the final battle. In Thor 1, for example, it’s the moment where Thor can’t lift Mjolnir. He has a literal Dark Night of the Soul in the middle of the night, sitting in the rain. He’s taken captive and Loki delivers him terrible news about how he’s not welcome back home. This forces Thor into confrontation with his own past failures and shallowness. It reforges him into a better person, one worthy of triumphing in the end.

As far as I could tell, the only thing Carol “overcomes” emotionally is her memory loss, but it’s not a terribly dark emotional moment because the memory loss was outside her control and inflicted on her, defeating it is uncomplicated as a result. The only lesson she learns is that she had a physical inhibitor preventing her from being a badass. It’s not a personal failure based on any kind of choice she made. She doesn’t really learn any kind of personal lesson or lesson that’s super relevant to her emotional state. In part because we never got a strong sense of her connection to the Kree such that losing her trust in them is a big crisis moment for her. Even the other woman on her team doesn’t seem terribly bothered that Carol switched sides.

In the end, it’s kind of the same plotline as She-Ra, but at least in the new She-Ra reboot we get a stronger sense of conflict from Adora about learning her old life with the bad guys was a lie and that she was being manipulated to fight for the bad guys. She-Ra actually has a more intense “Dark Night of the Soul” conflict over leaving her friends and old life behind because she decides to fight for the good guys in the war instead than Carol Danvers did with almost the same plotline, even though She-Ra is aimed at small children.

My theory is, the reason Marvel chose to avoid a dark night of the soul moment is the same reason they avoided a romance. They didn’t want the headline of the film to be “Carol cries in the third act because she’s a woman!” when even Steve Rogers cried in the third act of his film, as did Thor, and Tony Stark, because the Dark Night of the Soul is when the hero cries at their lowest point. By trying to avoid any moment where Carol could be broken down by her emotional plotline, they neutered her narrative of emotional impact and a lesson that she learned which would tie the story together and make it about something. Which, hey, I understand because if you do it wrong you’ve just undermined your first female hero (though even Wonder Woman had her dark night of the soul in the third act when she saw the bombed out French village she’d just saved, so it is possible to show tears from a female hero in a way that enhances the story instead of weakening the character).

But honestly, I’ll take it. There’s plenty of action movies where the male protagonist doesn’t have a significant emotional lesson he learns, where the theme is flimsy at best, and it’s really about punching bad guys to a bopping soundtrack, and we just call those fun action movies. Which is what Carol got and that’s totally fine. It was a fun action movie!

#captain marvel

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