#and with that i mean people who started off at one end of the discourse ricochetted to the other side and then came out

[carlyraejepsans]

i was thinking about that ask i received the other day and how uncharacteristically upset the topic had made me when i usually just think "mh. gross!" and move on, and after mulling it over a while i realized it wasn't about the topic at all, it was the ask itself that freaked me out. i've mentioned sporadically before (for obvious reasons lol) that i used to be involved in fandom discourse when i was younger and that!! fucked me up quite a lot. between exacerbating my ocd and straight up getting cyber stalked (i almost feel guilty using that word, like i don't deserve it but. yeah that is 100% what happened to me), the topic is something I have very complex and personal opinions on but that i hate talking about in public because it still sets off my fight or flight response.

i know some people in the fandom are like "let me know if i ever rb someone who wrote/drew gross stuff" and that's entirely their choice and i respect it. but for the record, i am not one of these people. please, for the love of god, i am asking this genuinely do NOT come into my DMs about this, I don't want to know. assume I'm either living in blissful ignorance or my blacklist already covers me quite nicely & i wanna keep it that way. i vastly prefer the discomfort of stumbling into something unprepared and deciding what to do about it on my own, to the utter pit of dread i get whenever i open a message that starts with "hey just so you know-". i have blocked multiple people in the past over it. i WILL block more. be warned.

[note. this doesn't apply to people who have either hurt or behaved inappropriately with other members of the fandom, or spread bigotry and discrimination like racists and transphobes. please do let me know in those cases]

does this make sense? idk I'm kinda feverish you guys figure it out. I'm going to sleep.

[finalhaunts]

Lesbian flag discourse set us back like 20 years for real

[andivmg]

My experience with Luke (Punz)

CW: toxic relationship, racism, dubious consent

I know in the past i said that i would no longer speak about him publicly, and when talking about my experiences with abuse and emotional mistreatment i begged to keep it anonymous but after reflecting on this for a week and seeing so many incredibly smart and strong women tell their stories. they have given me the strength to say his name.

this is really scary to talk about because of the copious levels of harassment i have received from his fans in the past so if this spreads or gets out of hand i will simply log off.

If you read my last post, i nicknamed him 1.

So aside from everything i said there, there were a lot of things i didn’t include because they would’ve made it obvious that it was him and it could potentially backfire on me so, i’m very afraid to post this. but i’m going to do it scared anyway, because it’s not fair that he gets to just go and live his life worry-free as if he didn’t practically ruin mine.

Because I already made a very lengthy post about him, i won’t include everything i said last time to avoid being redundant but if i repeat myself, please bear with me.

In our year long relationship i had to endure emotional neglect, gaslighting, verbal abuse, one instance where there was dubious consent, and much more.

Starting off at the beginning of our relationship, that’s when i was getting copious amounts of hate and harassment from his fan base (warranted or not), he decided that our relationship must be kept private. he said it was to “protect” me from his fanbase when in reality it was to protect himself. it was so he wouldn’t get all the backlash i was getting. this is funny because one of the things i got called out for was saying the B slur (derogatory term used against mexicans/latinos). I won’t get into the nuances of if i could say it or not as a puertorican because that’s discourse that does not pertain to this specific situation. But you know who definitely can’t say it? A white boy from Massachusetts. When i was getting cancelled for this and getting thousands of tweets calling me names, he decided that was the perfect time to say “I mean you are a b***** aren’t you? my little b*****.” Now, he said this completely unprompted. I was in the process of writing my apology and he just said that. I tell you this because i immediately shut him down and told him that there was no universe in which it was okay for him to say that word and especially not one where he could just call me that. While i was reprimanding him, he was smiling and laughing. he apparently found it amusing to call me a slur. regardless, he gave me a half-assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again. and he didn’t. but this wasn’t the only time he was weirdly racist to me. this was my first time being in an interracial relationship so i was led to believe that this was normal by all the white people around me at the time. But, sometimes my spanish accent would come out and he would make fun of me and the way i pronounced some words. He also refused to visit me in Puerto Rico when i lived there or come meet my family when i really wanted him to because he “didn’t like the heat” or “it’s dangerous there isn’t it?”. Once, while we were watching season 2 of Bridgerton, he implied that the Sharma sisters were “too dark” for him to be attracted to them. This hurt me because they are brown skinned girls. I am a brown skinned girl. Then this, combined with the fact that he told me once he wasn’t attracted to me made me feel like my skin color was unattractive. These are only a few examples i can think of at the moment, but i’m sure there were more. Our relationship ended in 2022 so some of my memory is a bit hazy. But, I do remember feeling inferior to him throughout the relationship because he was white and I was not. I chalk that up to all the micro aggressions i had to deal with because i had never felt that way around white people before.

Another thing i had to endure was him constantly making me feel like he was embarrassed to be with me. Because i was cancelled, he didn’t want to associate with me too much. He did defend me on multiple occasions, I’ll give him that. But, he only did it because his name was getting dragged in the mud along with mine. Excusing my actions made him look better for being around me. In reality he didn’t really care. Because he was such a big content creator and someone i looked up to professionally, I took his advice as law. He told me to tone down my personality, to keep a low profile, to change things about myself to be more palatable to his audience. The same audience that spoke about me like “The pussy can’t be that good punz please stop defending her”. So i changed a lot of things about myself and my content to better suit what his audience liked. He made me feel like if his audience liked me, he would be public about our relationship and stop hiding it. He told me the reason why he wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because he didn’t want to get hate for it. But this wasn’t true. On my 20th birthday he went to Las Vegas for a twitch rivals event. That night i asked to facetime him to say goodnight and he refused because he was at a hotel room with his friends and he didn’t want them to know that we were together. It was as if my mere presence or the utterance of my name was a source of embarrassment for him. And he didn’t let me forget it. It wasn’t just a public thing at that point. He didn’t want people to know we were together, period. This was devastating to me because I would talk to all my friends about him. I was so proud to be with him and I was just one more problem to him. He made me feel so small and insignificant just because his fans didn’t like me.

He would berate me a lot. Not just due to getting heat online, although he did do that a lot. But in general whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement he would always call me names like annoying or weird or stupid. He would raise his voice at me if i did something he didn’t like and call me an idiot. And that really hurt, i felt like i couldn’t bring up anything or do anything without getting insulted. If I hadn’t seen him in a few days because he was too busy streaming and i asked to hang out he would call me needy, clingy, and annoying. Granted, he might not have been wrong, but that is not something you say to someone you claim to love. He also insulted me when i was in depressive episodes. I have BPD and at the time i was not being treated properly for it. So, I was all over the place emotionally and he was what i clung to for validation, reassurance, and love. I talked to him when we first started dating about my disorder and told him that if it seemed like something he couldn’t handle that he could opt out of the relationship. I guess he didn’t think it was that bad or something idk because whenever i had really bad depressive episodes, he would tell me I was too sad to hang out with. He said that my sadness was a burden to him. Which would be fair. But, once my mother had a conversation with him about me. She told him that i am someone who needs a lot of love and caring. She said that if he wasn’t willing to put in that kind of effort into a relationship to just leave me alone. He reassured her that he would be there for me no matter what. He told my mother that he would protect me and my heart. He did not. He took all the warnings I gave him and ignored them and then made me feel like I was the problem. And even worse, he would say that i was pretending to be sad to get his attention when he would neglect for days at a time.

There were also some smaller things like the fact that he made me feel really guilty whenever he would spend money on me. Also, he would be really mean about my eating habits. For context, i used to suffer from an eating disorder. I was anorexic and had a really unhealthy relationship with food during high school and my first year of uni. This relationship began when i was recovering from my ED. For me, eating was really hard. So i had certain comfort foods that, while sometimes unhealthy, at least it was something to eat when i didn’t feel like eating anything. He knew this. Yet, whenever i would crave some of these foods he would call me fat. Constantly told me I’d gain weight from eating all that junk food. Saying that to someone with an eating disorder is crazy. Other smaller things were that whenever I would post tiktoks where i was lip syncing or just looking good he would yell at me and say i was looking for attention. Same with Instagram or Twitter whenever i would post photos where I looked hot. He never planned out a single date for us. I would beg him to get me flowers and he did maybe once but i’ll get into that in a bit. He would make fun of me in front of his friends to make himself look better. He let his friends say really degrading things about me in his presence. For example, once when i was showering, i overheard him on a discord call with George and Sapnap and i heard George say “if you don’t go in the shower and have sex with Andi, i will”. Once, when i was really struggling with my legs (for those of you who don’t know, i have arthritis and it’s very painful. at the time i wasn’t diagnosed but i was in a lot of pain) I literally could not walk. I had to beg him to take me to the ER because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. He didn’t want to take me but eventually i convinced him, and while we were there all he did was complain about how long it was taking and that he would have rather been at home streaming. Whenever I would talk about my interests that i was excited about like shows or books he would be incredibly uninterested and say that those things were stupid and he didn’t want to hear about them. I know all of these seem very silly or superficial but cumulatively it was awful.

Now for arguably the most serious thing i’m going to talk about. I want to preface this by saying i am just telling my side of what happened. You can come to your own conclusions about this.

On April 25, 2022 it was our one year anniversary, and i had made a dinner reservation for us. I expected him to plan something throughout the day for us to do. He told me he was going to spend the whole day playing Valorant so I got upset and cancelled the reservation. After a very heated argument, we calmed down and i asked him to come over. He came over about an hour later with flowers and drinks (I was 20 at the time so I couldn’t buy the drinks myself). He brought Smirnoffs and Trulys. For context, I am a lightweight. I always have been. I literally get tipsy on half a cocktail. And that day, I hadn’t eaten anything because i was in distress over our argument. So we get to talking and drinking. I blacked out after my second Smirnoff. Apparently I drank 3 but I genuinely cannot remember anything after finishing the second one. The next morning i woke up naked in my bed. I woke him up and asked him “Luke, why am I naked?” and he said “Because you didn’t want to put your clothes back on.” When I clarified to him that that was not what I meant, he got defensive and said that he didn’t realize how drunk I was. He proceeded to tell me that I initiated sex with him and that i was very enthusiastic about it. He said he didn’t know i could black out on three smirnoffs. He made fun of me for being a lightweight and continued to make light of the situation. Then he mentioned that i fell off the bed at some point in the night and that it was funny how drunk I was. I then questioned him. Because if he thought that me tripping and falling off the bed because i was so drunk was funny, how did he not know that i was too drunk? He responded by saying that i fell off the bed only after we were done. That day I broke up with him. I’m still really confused about what happened that night. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go on is what he said to me. We were in a relationship at the time and he says he didn’t know how drunk I was so I’m not sure what to call what happened. A while after that day, his friend that hmu while we were broken up and I started talking again and i confided in him about that night. He told me to be careful saying things like that because they could get me into trouble. I spoke to some of our other friends about it and they told me it was no big deal and that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how drunk I really was. Because I don’t remember, I have been led to believe that this is not a serious matter. You can think what you want, come to whatever conclusions you want. That is just my side of the story.

I want to add that I’m not proud of how I acted after the relationship ended. I felt really angry at all the shit he put me through and I guess a part of me wanted him to hurt even a quarter of how I did. So I started talking to his friend and got involved with him. This backfired on me because his friend ended up really hurting me too so ig i got my karma. But the thing that hurt the most is that because of what I did, some of our friends took his side in the break up. I was told that I did something terrible by getting involved with his friend that he was already insecure about and that he didn’t deserve that. These are the same friends who were witness to the dumpster fire of a relationship we had and all the things he did to me. They turned their backs on me because of this one thing I did. But stood by and watched as he treated me like garbage for over a year.

I will conclude this by saying that while this relationship has been “over and done with” for almost two years now, I carry a lot of trauma from it still. I still talk about him in therapy and have had to put in a lot of work to heal from what he did and i still cannot say that i am okay. I am very blessed to now have a patient and understanding partner who has helped me heal from that trauma and i just want to quickly thank him for that. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. While yes, it was a toxic relationship, and I had a part in that, it does not excuse all the awful things he said and did to me. This is my truth, thank you for taking the time to read it.

[vexwerewolf]

Should I read homestuck

tl;dr: no

actual answer: yes, but with some extremely important caveats.

Firstly, because Adobe shitcanned Flash, you can now no longer experience Homestuck in the form it was intended upon release... unless you download the Unofficial Homestuck Collection. This act of unbelievable, nay, saintly generosity by Homestuck's most dedicated fans allows you to experience Homestuck as it was intended - as close as is humanly possible.

"As close as is humanly possible" is the key phrase here. One indelible part of the original Homestuck experience was UPDATE! Homestuck would sometimes go weeks or even months (and later, years) between updates. I wasn't on Tumblr back in the day, but at the peak of Homestuck, even if you knew nothing else about it, you'd know when an update dropped because Tumblr's net traffic would increase something like three to fourfold. People would go apeshit bananas about whatever new revelations the Huss would drop on us.

You also need to realise that Homestuck is a product of its time and while its takes on sexuality and gender identity was pretty progressive (for its time), Huss did use the r-slur a bunch.

While we're on the subject of the author, Andrew Hussie (of whom my current understanding is that they have not changed name but go by they/them nowadays) is, in the most diplomatic possible terms, a very unique person. They are, at times, a visionary storyteller with genuinely fascinating ideas. At other times, they come off as kinda spiteful towards their readers.

Without meaning to dip into spoilers, some story beats seem (in my opinion) almost intentionally calculated to upset, irritate or mock certain fans. It never rises to the sheer vicious contempt that Steven Moffat had towards Sherlock's fanbase, but it does leave a bad taste in my mouth whenever I go back.

Additionally, and this is where a sort of birds-eye-view spoiler is unavoidable, the story suffers from the Game of Thrones pitfall of repeatedly increasing its own complexity by adding new plot threads without resolving existing ones, eventually leading to fatigue on the part of both the reader and the author. The arcs of a lot of characters just straight up get abandoned, while a couple of characters take an unnecessarily large amount of screen time.

There's one character in particular that the author openly states within the narrative (the author exists within the world of the story. It's... a whole thing) that they favour, and whose behaviour the story is warped to accommodate. You'll know exactly who I'm talking about almost the moment they show up.

Another reason I say that it's not really possible to read Homestuck as it was originally intended is because a lot of the shit that happens in it fits into the zeitgeist of the internet at the time any individual update was written. There's a whole section in the late middle third that is inextricably and very specifically tied to how it was like to use Tumblr in 2012.

Additionally, a lot of things have soured with time. There was the whole Hiveswap debacle (it was first announced in 2012. We got the first act in 2017. We got the second act in 2020. We do not even know if the third act will ever come out.). There were the legal threats. There were the Epilogues and Homestuck 2, which were... how do I put this? Not universally liked. There's been nearly a decade of discourse since Homestuck ended, and a lot of things haven't grown better with age.

All of that being said.

You should read it.

I cannot express to you just how big an impact Homestuck has had on internet culture. Even people who claim to hate Homestuck unconsciously use slang that it invented. Its unique ideas on storytelling, character design and narrative chronology have, in both subtle and unsubtle ways, changed the way millennials and Gen Z tell stories.

A lot of people were inspired to tell stories because of Homestuck - one example I always give to Lancer players is that Kill Six Billion Demons started as a comic on the MSPA forums (before it was homestuck.com, it was MS Paint Adventures), so Homestuck is in an indirect but demonstrable way responsible for the existence of Lancer. The sunglasses that Gideon Nav from the Locked Tomb wears have been explicitly stated by Tamsyn Muir to be Dave Strider's. Toby Fox made music for Homestuck, and worked on large parts of Undertale while living in Andrew Hussie's basement.

We also know someone in the Bluey creative team is a Homestuck, because...

There are subtle but direct references in Bojack Horseman, Hazbin Hotel, Steven Universe, Adventure Time - and those are just the ones that it's easy to prove! In a more general sense, I think there's a lot of cartoon series, movies, games, etc. that would either be very different or wouldn't exist if Homestuck hadn't happened.

It's certainly influenced my work.

I think, being very cautious to manage your expectations, that you should read Homestuck. At the very least, a lot of things people say on Tumblr will start to make, if not sense, a different kind of nonsense.

[cerusee]

I've never watched any Chinese dramas but I really enjoy your posts/gifs about them and it's got me interested in trying some! Do you have any recommendations for somebody who's totally new to them? Any tropes/background context I should be aware of? The historical/fantastical ones seem the most appealing to me.

Oooooh! My first thought on reading this ask was, “oh, I’m hardly qualified”; I’m only on my *stops to count on fingers* eighth cdrama, not counting the one episode I watched of the Wang Zhuocheng xianxia where he falls in love with a rock. (Long story.) There’s a lot of cdramas out there, and I myself have not even scratched the surface of what’s out there! That said, if you’re interested in historical/fantastical dramas, those ARE the ones I’ve been watching, so I still have some opinions despite being a total noob myself.

Do not start with The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling. Twas my first cdrama, like a lot of western fans, who were drawn to it in part because of the big censored-but-still-very-evident gay love story between the male leads, but honestly, as much fun as it is for the slash fans, it’s not a great jumping off point for either Chinese television in general, or even for its own wuxia-inspired genre setting. I say this as some who is still deep in the fandom four years later, and has immense love for the show: the first two episodes are flat-out bad, the overall pacing is bad (episodes frequently stop MIDSCENE), the worldbuilding is thin (a carryover from the novel it was based on), and without a larger context for why it’s made the way it’s made (stylistic choices, industry conventions, government censorship, genre conventions) a lot about it is confusing as hell to cdrama newbies, which is…so evident…a lot…in fandom wank I mean in the discourse about what story this story is trying to tell. Like, if you came to me and asked specifically, “I’m thinking of watching CQL. Should I watch CQL?” I would say yes, absolutely! It’s so much fun! I’m obsessed with the characters! I’ve written a lot of fanfic about the purple guy! But it’s not a good first cdrama, nor it is the best example of what the Chinese TV industry has to offer.

A MUCH better first cdrama especially if you like the historical/fantastical: The Legend of the Condor Heroes (2017), which not coincidentally was my second cdrama. It’s one of about a dozen television adaptations of the classic 1957 Chinese novel of the same name by Jin Yong, generally considered to be the inventor of the genre known as wuxia, which is a blend of history, fantasy, and martial arts. (One of the most well-known examples of wuxia in the west is Ang Lee’s Oscar-winning 2000 film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which you have probably at least heard of.)

Legend of the Condor Heroes (hereafter known as LOCH) has it all: romance, revenge, evil plots and daring deeds, people jumping off a burning mountain and being rescued by the worst CGIed eagles known to television or cinema, boat adventures, mountain adventures, grasslands adventures, a weird cult leader who lives on a spooky flower island (there will be math), murder, baby kidnapping, more murder, one guy inadvertently racking up a ridiculous number of martial arts teachers, sworn brotherhoods which invariably end with one guy stabbing the other, lots of VERY good martial arts fights, and, of course, Genghis Khan. Technically there are no magic/supernatural elements in this show—no ghosts, ghouls, magic, angels, devils, gods, etc—although the martial artists do have l33t skillz that might qualify as superhuman depending on how you slice your genre conventions, and are awfully fun to watch.

I’ve actually seen two LOCH adaptations (there was one in 2024 I liked a lot, with my favorite Guo Jing so far), but 2017 is a much better adaptation for newcomers as it tells a fuller version of the story and doesn’t skimp on or rush through or rewrite as many elements of the plot as other versions do; it’s meant to be a LOCH for people who haven’t seen half a dozen versions of LOCH already. It has a WONDERFUL cast, including my one of my favorite cdrama leading men, Chen Xingxu,* as the lead antagonist, Yang Kang, who is a trash fire of a person you just can’t root for, but he also can’t help it because he was raised by Wanyin Honglie. You can catch it on YouTube (I recall that there are couple of missing episodes from that playlist, but you can search on YT for those when you get there, to find them subtitled from other channels.)

*If you, like me, come away from LOCH 2017 with your mouth slightly ajar at how great CXX is, I have wonderful news for you! He’s been a lead in at least two other very good cdramas: the 2023 xianxia** The Starry Love, where he gets to play, like, five different characters (huge acting flex, and he’s great, although I would rush to stress I loved a ton of things about this show besides CXX himself), and the 2019 semi-historical drama Goodbye My Princess, which might actually be my favorite cdrama I have seen to date, and arguably THEE best well-made on a technical level, with phenomenal acting, a great script, and editing and directing I am constantly swooning over, but I am not entirely sure I can recommend to you unless you are a Tragedy Enjoyer.

(If you are a Tragedy Enjoyer, please stop whatever you’re doing and just start watching Goodbye My Princess right now, it is phenomenal. It is also available on YouTube. Watch the Director’s Cut, not the regular one! This is important. In its haste to get the main leads on screen together ASAP, the regular version does a Reader’s Digest version of stuff the Director’s Cut spends like five episodes carefully setting up, and it doesn’t make a lot of sense, nor does it flow well.)

**Speaking of xianxia! Xianxia is the high fantasy genre, full of magic and gods and demons and people dying and living multiple lives and whatnot. Important to note: xianxias are soap operas (complimentary). They tend to feature female protagonists, sweeping, epic romances, and put enormous emphasis on exploring the nuances of relationships and emotions. I have watched three that I loved (Love Between Fairy and Devil, The Starry Love, and Eternal Love: Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms), and while technically I could recommend all three, if you were going to watch just one, especially as a cdrama intro, I have to recommend Eternal Love, which really is the quintessential xianxia, the one all other xianxias are kind of shaping themselves around. I have watched it 1.5 times and I can say that it does not properly take off until like, episode 10, or whenever it is that the main couple finally, properly meet. IT IS WORTH THE INVESTMENT. This show made me want to spit blood. I cried multiple times watching it. It made me feel things. It has a wonderful immersive quality that’s hard to describe except to say that the entire show sort of vibrates on its own frequency. The casting is just kind of…perfect? Props to Maggie Huang for portraying the most perfectly hatable xianxia villainess of all time. Absolutely no one is doing it like Su Jin. No one should try. I believe this is available on YouTube, but after an abortive start, I realized it was on US Netflix, and watched it there.

As for tropes and background context: ehhhhhh. I mean, it’s an entire industry? I know substantially less about how it functions than I do about, like, American TV and film. I know government censorship is a not-inconsiderable factor, but I don’t know much of the nuance of how that plays out in terms of filming and airing. Tropes will vary according to subject. Idol dramas (shows built to showcase media personalities regardless of their ability to act) are a thing. Most cdrama audio is still dubbed (this one surprised me!), usually by professional voice actors and not by the original cast, for a confluence of reasons, some of which historically make sense (noisy filming lots rendering original audio useless), and some of which are really stupid (fans throwing hissy fits if lead actors don’t have the “right” kinds of voices for their characters).

Anyway! My recommendations are this: try The Legend of the Condor Heroes (2017) to start with, UNLESS you would prefer having your heart ripped out of your chest, in which case watch Goodbye My Princess (Director’s Cut, 2019), or UNLESS you love soap operas as much as I do, in which case watch Eternal Love: Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (2017). All three are great shows, but they all hit differently/scratch a different itch.

Oh! Lastly! @dangermousie is a great source of cdrama recs. I should note she prefers dramas and tragedies and mostly does not vibe with xianxias. But she watches like eight million hours of dramas a week and reports her findings to us because she is a river to her people.

[idwl]

Milieugender: A Guide

[pt: Milieugender: A Guide /end pt]

An explanation on why being against BAF transfems and BAM transmascs is harmful, and why transness shouldnt be restricted to one's birth sex.

"Woah, Idwl! Those are a lot of words! What does this one mean?"

Milieugender

BAF

BAM

Exorsexism

Transmedicalism

Bioessentialism — “Bioessentialism, a shorthand for biological essentialism, is the idea that we are born with specific, immutable traits by virtue of our sex. To a bioessentialist, sex maketh man.” Sourced from here

Please read this post all the way through until making assumptions or coming to conclusions. I would appreciate if readers kept an open mind while reading.

Introduction

[pt: Introduction /end pt]

The trans community, like any other community, is often divided on multiple topics and viewpoints. That is the nature of community; everyone has differing opinions. One topic that's been plaguing trans spaces as of lately has been the existence of BAF transfem and BAM transmasc folk.

BAF transfem and BAM transmasc are identities often used by those who are intersex, nonbinary, or detrans, but there are a slew of other reasons to use this term, as well. But we're not here to discuss the term itself; there's plenty of other posts explaining why people identify this way. No, today I would like to dicuss the people who are against it, and how it's rooted in bigotry.

This post is long, because multiple types of bigotry play into arguments against this identity. I'm here to talk about them all. This post does not aim to spark discourse, but rather, I aim to spark polite discussion, and help others understand the implications of being against this deeply nuanced and complex identity.

Transmedicalist Rhetoric

[pt: Transmedicalist Rhetoric /end pt]

First off, I want to start with how transmed rhetoric plays into being anti milieugender. Simply put, being against these identities is deeply rooted in transmed rhetoric. What is transmed rhetoric, though? And what does this mean for folks against this identity?

Transmed— a shortening of transmedicalist— is a person who believes that dysphoria is required to be trans.

This is rhetoric that has often hurt the community rather than helped. Why exactly is transmed rhetoric harmful, though? It is because it has often been weaponized against nonbinary people, used to uphold the gender binary, and invalidate nondysphoric trans people. It has also been weaponized against the MOGAI community; those with neogenders and xenogenders have often especially been the target of transmeds.

But how does this tie into milieugender experiences? Well, arguments against milieugender folk often rely on the very same arguments that transmeds use towards non-dysphoric or nonbinary folk; arguments about validity, struggle, dysphoria, etc...

A huge part of transmedicalism is viewing transness as involving suffering— transness, to transmeds, is not a happy or prideful thing, or an identity, but a medical condition. Most transmedicalists also view medical transition as necessary to being trans.

What I really want to point out here is that tidbit about transness involving suffering. Most transmeds, as a product of viewing transness as requiring dysphoria, view suffering as necessary to the trans experience. This argument, no matter how you come to the conclusion, is harmful.

You can see this argument when BAF transfems are brought up; often, it is argued that BAF transfems cannot be transfem due to not understanding the experience of MTF folk. This experience? Transmisogyny. I have seen similar arguments for BAM transmascs. Isn't it a bit harmful to boil down transness to one's discrimination and hurt?

(As well, to act like milieugender folk do not experience discrimination is just plain wrong; as, again, these people are often nonbinary, intersex, detrans, multigender, etc.)

So, while not inherently transmedicalist, arguments against milieugender folk often rely on the same kind of arguments that transmeds use.

Intersexism

[pt: Intersexism /end pt]

(Due to me being perisex, I consulted intersex people for assistance in writing this section. Thank you to @the-astropaws for your assistance.)

Most people who are milieugender identify as such because they are intersex. While perisex people still use these labels, yes, a lot of intersex folk do, too. Due to this fact, being against these labels is rooted in intersexism. I would like to touch on this.

Most arguments against milieugender folk involve some sort of statement about how they can't transition to something they already are, or are seen as.

When you imply that BAF trans women are already seen as women, and thus don't need to pass or transition, you are making a lot of assumptions about these trans girls. Yes, even perisex folk. By reinforcing the fact that BAF = feminine, you are reinforcing bioessentialism, which directly hurts intersex people. You are also invalidating the experience of intersex people.

User @/the-astropaws explained very well how this argument is intersexist. I would like to quote what one member of The Alternates, Aoba, said on this topic. I cleaned it up a bit, but it should have roughly the same meaning.

"[Claiming] all afabs are default feminine or can't "transition to fem" [...] is just, not true at all for both perisex n intersex people. The idea that afab = grew up feminine is the same excuse literal terfs use against intersex people who say they're tfem regardless on if they say they're afab OR amab.. an agab does not mean anything about what people were raised or seen as. [Enforcing] that idea on perisex people is [by] default targeting intersex people like me that did not at all get a default based on agab?? [While the] perisex experience will never be the Exact Same as an intersex experience, [...] many have similarities and a lot of wording hurts both sides"

Exorsexism

[pt: Exorsexism /end pt]

Let's take a common argument, one I've heard multiple times: "BAF trans women are already women, and aren't trans. If you're BAF and a woman, you're cis."

Before I delve into this argument, what is exorsexism? It is linked above, but to put it plainly, it is the discrimination against nonbinary individuals, intersex individuals, and those with gender modalities other than cis and trans. Here, we will focus on it's definition as discrimination against nonbinary individuals.

Further defined, as quoted from the MOGAI miraheze wiki, "exorsexism is the belief that the only allowable genders are wholly and exclusively male and wholly and exclusively female, and one cannot identify as both male and female, or as neither male nor female. It also includes the belief that the only allowable gender modalities are wholly and exclusive cis and wholly and exclusively trans, and one cannot identify as both cis and trans or as neither cis nor trans."

So, I'm sure you can see how this argument is, quite plainly, relying on a lot of exorsexist rhetoric. Even if you're not comfortable with BAM nonbinary people calling themselves transmasc, or BAF nonbinary people calling themselves transfem, to imply they're cis is disrespectful. It is also heavily ignorant of other's gender experiences.

There are multiple reason someone may be a girl and BAF, or a boy and BAM yet not cis. Being bigender, for example. Being demigender. Being genderfluid. Being a forasgirl. These are all nonbinary experiences. To say all women who are BAF and all men who are BAM are cis or "basically cis" is simply incorrect. It also relies on exorsexist rhetoric, because you are implying that womanhood cannot exist outside of the binary; i.e, you are implying you can only be either wholly, solely female or wholly, solely male. It's also invalidating to multigender folk, who often do not identify as cis.

Transphobia

[pt: Transphobia /end pt]

There's another part about arguments against these identities, and that's the fact that they're also rooted in plain transphobia. This quite frustrates me; in an attempt to protect FTM and MTF trans folk, when arguing against milieugender identities, FTM/MTF identities are often invalidated.

I would like to bring back a point from the intersexism section; the fact that milieugender folk cant be trans because they're already perceived as their gender. e.g. BAF transfems are already (perceived as) feminine, and BAM transmascs are already (perceived as) masculine.

By saying that being BAF inherently means you are feminine, or perceived as such— even for perisex folk— you are implying (intentionally or not) that ftm trans men and transmascs are inherently (seen as) feminine. You are equating the female sex and femininity as going hand in hand. The same goes for if you make this argument for BAM transmascs and manhood.

Sex should be an inherently neutral thing,. To imply sex comes with certain characteristics, once again, reinforces bioessentialism, which hurts trans folk.

This argument, while not intended to hurt FTM or MTF folk, will inadvertently do so, in one way or another.

Hypocrisy

[pt: Hypocrisy /end pt]

Generally, I also think it's just quite hypocritical to be against identities such as these if you're for other good faith identities. Isn't the whole point of good faith identities to, you know, assume good faith? Sure, some labels may not make sense or seem weird, but really, what harm do milieugender folk bring to the community? They're not appropriating labels any more than a boy identifying as a lesbian, are they?

Ultimately, it harms nobody. One cannot help if a label is most euphoric for them, or makes them most comfortable. And while FTM/MTF folk deserve their own spaces, certainly, milieugender folk existing isn't harming those spaces. In fact, most milieugender folk are aware of the differences between themselves and FTM/MTF folk, and try their best to be respectful.

This isn't to say there aren't entitled or hurtful milieugender people, but you know what?

There are entitled and hurtful people everywhere.

The whole point of transness is that it's for everybody. Why are we denying it from anyone? Why are we denying people happiness? Have we learned nothing?

Queer exclusion will always hurt queer people, period.

Redefining trans girl, transfem, transmasc, and trans boy

[pt: Redefining trans girl, transfem, transmasc, and trans boy /end pt]

So, where does that lead us?

I think, as a queer community, we should redefine transness. Transness has always been a label of self-identification, one you had to opt-in to by your own choice.

Trans girls should just mean girls who are trans. Trans boys should just mean boys who are trans.

Transness, now, places a focus on the birth sex. Personally, as a trans man, I would feel a lot happier if trans man would come to mean a man who was trans. Because it makes him happy. And who are we to deny queer people happiness and their right to self-identify?

Not only that, but this is better for everybody. It will include intersex people, people who dont plan on physically or socially transitioning, nonbinary people— it will include all people who feel as though they are trans. It's also, ultimately, safer.

While you may still not agree with my identity, I hope you were at least able to get something out of reading this.

---

tagging for reach, ask to be removed; @radiomogai; @noxwithoutstars; @daybreakthing; @flutteringwings-coining; @rwuffles; @scr-ppup; @smilepilled; @floraeth; @the-astropaws; @somniabyte; @circulatoire; @cyberneticloverboy

[fishysaltine]

Odd internet discourse but I absolutely think every single of the main NPC’s would peel and orange for TAV/Durge, mostly depending on relationship status.

Wyll would peel an orange for you if he didn’t know you, he’s the Blade of the Frontiers!!! Peeling an orange for someone, let alone his friend or lover with probably a breath of relief from killing goblins/giant bats/gnolls. And he’d be a good orange peeler too. He’d even probably break it down perfectly into the little slices too. He kind of gets a hiccup when Mizora transforms him but he quickly figures out how to put his new claws to use and uses them to cut the peel even better like one of those fancy orange peelers.

Gale probably wouldn’t peel an orange for someone if they were some stranger on the street, but most definitely if you’re his friend or beyond. But if you’re his lover he’d probably make you a magic orange tree that gives you perfectly peeled oranges whenever you want them, mostly bc he’s not the best at peeling oranges (the skin is too tight for him, ok???) and everything HAS to be perfect for his Tav/Durge. God Gale would just be like “you’re just not ambitious enough try harder”, give you a thumbs up, and fuck off.

Karach would totally peel and orange for her bestie, and most definitely for her Tav/Durge. The thing is she’d totally suck at it. I imagine she just bites the peel to get it loose, but then her claws would just cut into the orange and get juice all over her hands (and in her eye), and it’d be a totally fucked up orange BUT she would do her best and yk what? She can just squish it and make Tav/Durge orange juice. (Plus Tav/Durge can lick it off her hands so who’s complaining rlly)

Shadowheart would only peel an orange for you if you were her BEST friend/lover and also if she’s a Selunite. Yk Shar has some sacred law about oranges being some weird metaphor for emotions and she won’t stand for that as a Sharran. She would look at Tav/Durge with that incredulous “okay…?” Look she does and that tone she has when she thinks her dearest is being silly/stupid, but she would do it. She would also be a decent peeler I imagine, but she would leave those annoying white strands on it just to kind of piss Tav/durge off.

Lae’zel would peel an orange depending on how you approach her. I think she’d have to see you peeling an orange first, get curious about it, and eventually break down and ask “wtf is that?” And Tav/Durge has to show her how to peel and orange. Then it becomes some like wild competition to her, especially if you romance her and give her a peeled orange once. Then she just starts peeling oranges and is absolutely awful at it and then gets angry that she’s not good at peeling oranges. So in the end she’ll probably take your orange, peel it for you, go like “chck, see? This is how a true warrior peels an orange.” Just to show off how goddamn good she is at peeling oranges, then give it back. And in the end she is crazy good at peeling oranges. (I imagine Tav/Durge and Lae’zel peeling oranges, then exchanging them while waiting for a sunrise. I also imagine Lae’zel likes the citrusy taste, but not how sticky it is.)

Astarion would only peel an orange for you only if you’re his lover. People who don’t think he would have never seen him interact with Durge or Half-illithid Tav (heavy on Durge in their entirety). And I don’t mean this in a “omg he’s my Prince Charming” I mean it in a way of like, a silent act of service. He would peel an orange for a romanced Tav in Act 3. He’d probably look at you weird, but he’d peel it, being anxious and snarky the whole time (bc let’s be real this man has probably never in his 240ish years of life, peeled an orange. Probably makes a note about how “CAZAdor never had USE for ORANGES”). But he would peel it, and complain about his nails and clothes in that whiny tone that he has when he really doesn’t mind, he’d just taking the piss out of you because you’re an adult and can technically do it yourself. But he gets the point. Kind of. Non-ascended epilogue Astarion is the one who gets it, and isn’t as snarky about doing it as Act 3 Astarion.

Ascended Astarion would peel oranges for Tav/Durge only after they beg him too, he wants/needs to see them pathetic before he entertains the thought of being anything for them just for them. He would also be super manipulative and bitchy about it like “oooohhh look at what I do for you, darling. You owe me so such, my pretty little consort. I treat you sooo well, don’t I?” The whole works.

P.S. Halsin would peel an orange for anyone who asks, and I imagine he’s good at it. He’s Archdruid, which means he gets a +10 to fruit checks. And oranges he peels also just always taste the best too. It’s concerning how good they are.

[bonefall]

So, I'm writing an essay on the whole STATE of misogyny in WC for one of my university classes, and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of things! No pressure of course, please feel free to say no!

A) Could I reference your good takes with appropriate harvard referencing and links back to your blog?

B) Are there any specific moments from the books that you think should be covered the most?

C) The end result will be a visual essay, so it's like those fun infographics people on Tumblr make on like ADHD and stuff, so when it's done, would you like to be tagged to read it?

(Sorry for anon, I'm nervous lmao, but if you'd be more comfortable I'll resend this off anon)

AAY good topic! You've got a lot to work with. Absolutely feel free to reference anything I've written, and tag me when you're done.

While you're here and about to write something so legitimate, I'm also going to recommend you check out Sunnyfall's video on gender in Warrior Cats. She breaks down the arcs into numbers, directly comparing the amount of lines mollies have to toms, and examining the archetypes women are usually allowed to be.

I think it's a must-have citation in a paper about WC misogyny.

...and, I think it's insightful to look at the WCRP Forum thread about the video. Note how the respondents immediately come into the thread to complain about how the video is too long so they didn't watch it, dismissing Sunnyfall as not being entertaining enough to hold their attention, even whining that she starts with statistics to prove her point, which I'm convinced she did exactly because they would have cried that she "had no evidence" if she didn't.

I am not a scholar, so I don't know how to document or prove that the books have an impact on the audience outside of anecdotes. But I think if you do write a section about fandom, it would be worth mentioning the in-universe and metatextual apologia for Ashfur and its reflection in the real world discourse, the authorial killing of Ferncloud because of fan complains, and the utter defensiveness against the discussion of misogyny you see outside of Tumblr.

You may also want to check out Cheek by Jowl, a collection of 8 essays about sexism in xenofiction by Ursula K. Le Guin. There's a very unique manifestation of authorial bias in animal fiction, having a lot to do with how the author views "the natural world," and it's worth understanding even though Warrior Cats are so heavily anthropomorphized.

So... Warrior Cats Misogyny

I think discussing individual instances can be helpful, but I'd implore you to keep in mind what's REALLY bad about WC's misogyny is framing and the bigger picture.

Bumble's death is shocking and insulting, but it's not just that she died. It's that the POV Gray Wing sees her as a fat, useless bitch who took his mate so she deserves to be dragged back to a domestic abuser, and he's right because the writers love him so much. It's that Bumble's torture and killing only factors into how it's going to hurt a man's reputation.

It's how Clear Sky hitting, emotionally manipulating, or killing the following women,

Bright Stream (pressured into leaving her home and family)

Storm (controlled her movements and yelled at her in public)

Misty (killed for land, children stolen)

Bumble (beaten unconscious, blamed nonsensically on a fox)

Alder (child abuse, hit when she refused to attack her brother)

Falling Feather (scratched on the face, subjected to public abuse and humiliation)

Tall Shadow (thrown into murderous crowd, attacked on-sight in heaven)

Rainswept Flower ("blacked out" in anger and murdered in cold blood)

Moth Flight (scratched on the face for saying denying medical treatment is mean, taken hostage in retaliation against mother for the death of his own child, which he caused)

Willow Tail (eyes gouged out for "stirring up trouble")

Is seen as totally understandable, forgivable, or not even questioned at all, when killing Gray Wing in an act of rage would have been "one step too far" with the ridiculous Star Line.

"Kill me and live with the memory, and then let the stars know it would only matter if a single one of your murder victims was a man."

It's the way that fathers who physically abuse their kids out of their ego (Clear Sky, Sandgorse, Crowfeather) aren't treated anywhere near the same level of narrative disgust and revulsion the series has for "bad moms", even if they're displaying symptoms of a post-partum mood disorder (depression, anxiety, and rage), an umbrella of mental illnesses 20% of all new mothers experience but are heavily stigmatized with (Sparkpelt, Palebird, Lizardstripe).

It's Crookedstar's Promise giving him two evil maternal figures in a single book, while bending over backwards to make every man in a position of power still look likeable in spite of the fact they're enabling Rainflower's abuse. Leader Hailstar is soso sorry that he has to change Stormkit's name for some reason, in spite of leaders being unaccountable dictators the other 99% of the time, and Deputy Shellheart functionally does nothing to stop his own son from being abused or even do much parenting before or after the fact.

It's the way men's parental struggles are seen sympathetically, and they don't have to "pay for it" like their female counterparts (Crookedstar's PPD vs Sparkpelt's PPD, how Daisy and Cinders are held responsible for Smoky and Whisper being deadbeats, Yellowfang's endless guilt for killing her son vs Onestar's purpose in life to kill his own), even to the point where a father doesn't have to have raised their kids at all to have a magical innate emotional connection to them (Tree's father Root, Tom the Wifebeater, Tigerstar and Hawkfrost).

It's less speaking lines and agency for female characters, being reduced to accessories in the lives of their mates and babies, women getting less diversity in their personalities, with even major ex-POV characters eventually becoming "sweet mom" tropes.

You could zoom in on any one of these examples and have an amoeba try to argue with you that "Oh THIS makes sense because X" or "Ah well my headcanon perfectly explains this thing" or "MY mother/girlfriend was abusive/toxic/neglectful and I've decided that you are personally attacking ME by having issues with how a character was written or utilized," but the beleaguered point,

That I keep trying to hammer in, over and over, across books worth of posts,

Is that these are trends. More than just a couple one-off examples. It's the fabric that has been woven over years, showing a lack of interest in, or even active prejudice of, women on behalf of the writers.

LONG STANDING trends, which have only gotten worse as the series progressed. From Yellowfang being harshly punished with a born evil son who ruins her life in TPB and the mistreatment of Squirrelpaw that begins in TNP, all the way up to the 7 Fridgenings of DOTC and Sparkpelt's PPD being a major character motivator for her son Nightheart.

So, I would stress that in your paper, and structure it less as "the Sparkpelt slide" and "the Yellowfang slide," and more as "The paternal vs maternal abuse" slide, and "the violence against women" slide. They're really big issues, there's tons of examples for each individual thing.

Anyway to leave off on a funny, look at this scene in Darkest Hour that I find unreasonably hilarious,

"Everyone who matters to me; my truest friend, my sensible and loyal warrior, the wisest deputy I've ever known, and 2 women." -Firestar, glorious idiot

He can't even think of a single trait for either of them what the hell does "formidable pair" mean lmaooo, when I finished a reread about a year ago this line killed me on impact.

[weirdsht]

Another yapping session lol, I haven't done this in a while. Omfg tho, I didn't mean for this thing to be as long as I made it. I'm sorry shfgsidfhsfjgsdlg

By clicking read more you will be subjected to novel spoilers and my messy long rant about LoTCF. This is your warning.

I've thought about this for a long time but LoTCF is a fix-it novel. Not sure if someone thought about the same thing or if they have talked about it yet. But I've felt this way ever since I read about Kim Rok Soo's life.

After realising what he went through and just how hard his life is made me realise why he does the things he does. Why he has such a mindset. Why he values the little things other people would not even think about.

It made even more sense after hearing how he was collateral damage from the White Star's curse. How he can't hold the things he deemed dear close to him as he will always be bound to lose it. To lose them.

Lastly, it made me realise why the novel seems all sunshine and rainbows in the long run. Sure, there are angsty moments. Some moments and arcs made me bawl for weeks on end. Made me feel as though my heart was being ripped out of my chest (Looking at you earth lore). However, at the end of it all everyone on Cale's side is okay. It's like watching one of those old-school shonen animes where you know everyone will save the day with the power of friendship.

And I know I'm not the only one who noticed that. I saw a lot of discourse about how the series would be more interesting if someone actually died. If a lot was on the line. Something like ORV.

And omg does it piss me off so much.

Because once again LoTCF is a fix-it novel.

It's a novel about starting again. About Cale finally being able to hold and protect the things dear to him.

That's why it wouldn't make sense for him to lose more.

Plus, I genuinely think that if he loses one more thing important to him (non-material ofc) that would be his last straw. He has already been through so much. And it was because of something he didn't even have a clue about. Something he essentially had no business with if White Star just wasn't a greedy mfer.

I think some people also forget or doesn't realise the fact that this is also Cale's last chance. Like Ron and Choi Han who has lost their families several times and deemed their new group as their last chance. Their last family.

It's the same for Cale.

He already lost his biological parents. He already lost his brothers.

He can't lose his new family too.

That's why no one can die.

Despite that, as a reader, I am scared though. Scared at the lengths he's willing to go to protect his family.

Because this man has no self-preservation skills despite him always saying he has no plans of getting hurt or dying. I mean, I can't blame him for not knowing his worth. His life has been shit. He always had to go above and beyond to try and grasp the things he wanted only for them to still slip away from his fingertips. Like he's trying to collect running water with open palms.

And until now, even without the curse, he does the same thing. Because it's what he's used to. Maybe he subconsciously thinks that if his efforts dwindle a little he'll lose everything again. Not fully comprehending that it's fine now. That it's okay for him to breath a little.

Anyway, my point is I'm scared that at some point Cale will try to protect everyone and everything at his own cost. Will try to convince himself that he will be fine when he won't be. I mean I've already heard spoilers from book 2 and heard that's what seems to be happening right now.

I'm just scared that a point will come where Cale won't be able to come back from the decisions he makes in the name of protecting his family.

[ravinoforre]

So I saw an opinion on a character that I, respectfully, don't agree with at all, and it isn't the first time I've come across this particular take either. I don't like nor want fandom discourse, making counter points to arguments in general make me nervous, but as someone particularly attached to them and their related characters, I have a lot of thoughts I want to get out there in the hopes that maybe they can be seen from a more positive perspective. So um, here they are. Get comfortable, this is gonna be a long one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Defense of Lily (Pokémon XD).

Those of you who've played this might already know what I'm referring to, so I'm just going to rip off the proverbial band-aid. Right at the start of the game, as you, the player, are being introduced to her, one of the first things she says is;

...and ok yeah, I admit. This is kind of a weird thing for her to say (in front of her son too, oops). This is usually one of two instances that people latch onto to prove she's an awful mother, but there is, at least in my opinion, some hidden context to her words. First of all, she's not wrong; the whole lab does in fact constantly sing their praises and fawn over both these kids (which is adorable tbh). Secondly, it's not unreasonable for her to believe that lots of inflated praise on a child, no matter how well meaning, may have negative consequences on their development. A kid receiving a constant stream of "you're so cool/special/talented" may end up with an inflated ego and become depressed, or even lash out in anger, if that praise either stops or something comes along to disprove it (like failing a test or making a mistake).

(Side note, I came across some partially related studies (x), (x) and an article from a parental psychologist (x) that go into different types of praise given to children; person, or ability praise ("you're so clever") vs process, or effort praise ("you worked really hard"), their effect on self esteem, personal growth, and performance, and how ability praise actually negatively effects a child's sense of worth compared to effort praise or even no praise at all. It's a lot to go through right now and this post is already going to be super long, but I mention them here because I'll go into something later that you may find rather interesting. I know I do. They're fascinating reads, too, I would recommend!)

Now listen up! Lily, contrary to the belief that she's a cold-hearted mother who shuns her offspring, actually does praise and engage with her children! Throughout the story, she'll talk to Michael and say some interesting and wonderful things as his adventure continues! The problem is that unfortunately, a lot of this proof is hidden throughout each story beat in a section of the lab that is no longer required to enter to progress (and most people won't bother to go back and speak to their own mother who apparently "hates" them). Off to find Jovi:

🥹 baby... Before saving Phenac City:

🥺😭euuhhbbebeh father mentioned During the Phenac City hostage situation:

After the Phenac stuff:

"I'm proud of you." You literally cannot get a more explicit form of praise than I'm proud of you. Hell, I can't even recall a time my own mother told me that. Fucking hell. Also. Pampered?! You hear that? She's practically contradicting those accursed two lines! By her own admission, the kids are pampered babies! Her concern isn't that people will spoil them—because they're already spoiled!

(Jovi is a pampered baby princess). I think Lily's worry in her comment is that may roll too far; it's like she says—spoiled rotten.

Ok one more example for this section:

(disclaimer: these screenshots are from the romhack XG which is why her name isn't in all caps; trust me, this same line is in base XD too) Remember the types of praise I mentioned earlier? Ability (person) praise and effort (process) praise? And how the former could be damaging to a child's self esteem? Do you notice anything particular about the way she speaks to Michael and praises him? "You've become an outstanding trainer in your own right." Not "You're so strong." "You're doing so much for the good of others." "Your courage will save the Shadow Pokémon." Not "You're so brave." "You did it all by yourself without anyone's help." She's praising his actionable efforts! She's applying process praise! (Pleeease read those studies and article, at least the first study I linked, it's genuinely insightful and fascinating, and it's even more amazing that an example of it is featured in a video game by a character most people won't interact with beyond necessity! I love this game! So! Fuckinhg!! Much!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Ahem. She's also not saying that people shouldn't praise her kids either; only that she wishes it wasn't gushing praise all the time. Too much of a good thing could be harmful, after all. Let's see...

Sounds reasonable so far, right?

...Galactic peace?! My brother in Arceus, all he did was beat you in a friendly Pokémon battle—a battle that Michael's already been led to believe he'd win anyway thanks to that previous comment from his coach (those screen caps are in chronological order)! Even without the fact that by this point he's midway through a dangerous fight against a criminal organization, it's probably not a good idea to give a developing young teen a literal God complex; what if he gets so full of himself he genuinely believes he's unbeatable... and then loses? That child's mental state is going to plummet. So even if you don't agree with Lily's praise comments, you might at least better understand where her concerns are coming from if this is potentially the kind of thing that's being told to her kids regularly.

Moving on, try putting yourself in her shoes a moment. She's a working, grieving, single mother of two who, according to an NPC in the lab "has an exceptionally high sense of responsibility".

As a scientist with the necessary expertise, she has the heavy task of helping realise a sensitive project—sensitive not just in terms of urgency (as Krane predicts Cipher is going to be a threat again), but also in terms of emotional weight; this project was something her late [husband] poured everything into until his death, so both her and Krane continued on with it; by the time the game starts, they're agonisingly close to completion. And time is of the essence. Quick tangent: watch the cut scene post Krane kidnap again. The camera rests on Lily an awfully long time. The father of her children died before this project was finished, and now Krane, a close friend of both of theirs, has been taken away by force. Both her children have witnessed something traumatic. Her daughter is sobbing. She's literally being told the situation is "hopeless" by a colleague. Imagine the sheer anguish this woman must be going through before having to push through all of it and take complete charge for the sake of finishing the project. For the morale of the entire lab staff. For the sake of keeping her kids calm. For the fate of the region itself. Anyway, because of this project, and how close they are to finishing, she isn't able to afford much, if any, time off to spend with her kids "this instant". It's probably why the lab staff have pitched in to help look after them (which must make her feel pretty damn guilty with that high sense of responsibility of hers). It's why she asks her son to go find his little sister in her stead.

And this brings me to point number two that I've seen used countless times to slander her:

She just lets Jovi run off on her own, and doesn't care what her kids are up to.

Which... no, sorry, hang on here. Lily isn't letting Jovi run off on her own. For starters, both her and Krane believe she's in or somewhere outside the lab grounds, playing hide and seek with the caretaker, Adon.

A game of hide and seek (particularly if they're taking turns hiding) is likely why nobody's seen her since lunch, by the way, and not Lily not giving a damn about the whereabouts of her child. And when she's found and brought home again, Lily says this;

This implies she's spoken to her daughter about running off on her own before, and we do later get to know that Jovi has a habit of running off ahead; she runs off down the steps in Gateon ahead of her brother, she rushes off to deliver the machine part by herself to the chamber, and even though Michael is the one asked, she runs off to go see Datan—despite Lily telling her she doesn't need to do that. This means if Jovi gets invested in something, it's apparently hard to stop her. Visiting Kaminko's is a recent fixation of hers, and if Adon is already aware of where else she might have gone off to if she's nowhere on lab grounds, it might mean she's been there before (that, or Adon was the one who caved and told Jovi where to find the place). I might even speculate and say Lily has specifically told Jovi before about not running off to the manor. Anyway, check out what she says when you find the little runaway but come back empty handed.

The heart-sinking realisation and disappointment in that "...Oh" alone....

So no, Lily isn't letting her young child run off on her own—Jovi is disobeying her mother. She's either used the game of hide and seek as an excuse to dip (and then forgot about Adon entirely), or she got bored midway through and decided to head to her new place of interest despite any of her mother's previous objections. (And before anyone says anything, no, that doesn't mean Jovi is a bad kid, either. She's, what, around 7 yrs old? She is doing typical little kid things, emulating her older brother, and discovering and pushing her boundaries as she grows up. I have seen some putrid, abysmal hate for her over the years too. She is a child, leave her alone.) Onto the second half of the above statement; she doesn't care what her kids are doing. As in, Michael is on a treacherous journey against a dangerous group of people and she's totally ok with letting her kid do that (as if that isn't the case with practically every mainline entry protag mother but alright, I'll bite).

Introducing one of my favourite exchanges with her in the game. During this time, the purify chamber still isn't complete, and they'll need to use an alternate way of purifying Shadow Pokémon until then—the Relic Stone in Agate Village.

oh it worries her, does it? You know what happens when No is selected?

And then she drops the conversation. There's no endless loop to get him to go, which would have been the more convenient thing for the devs to implement. But this was a very deliberate choice that tells me more about a character than I've seen done in a video game before. She's respecting her son's decision to stay home. She is not forcing him to do something he isn't comfortable with. Of course, as a video game, the purpose is to progress to the next story beat. So he has to go. Better talk to her again.

I don't even think I need to add any extra commentary, this should really speak for itself at this point.

I've also reached the image limit on this post so it's probably time I wrapped this up, so in conclusion; is Lily a bad mother, as I've seen people claim? No, and I believe I've showcased plenty to prove she isn't. She's not perfect, no parent is, but she's a damn sight more involved in her children's lives than the mainline moms, who are often nothing more than out of the way Pokémon Centers that don't acknowledge their child's journey in any meaningful way. So then, was she in the right for saying what she did at the start of the game, right after Krane praises her son, who is in earshot of this conversation? Well... also no. She could have picked a better time and place to bring it up, honestly. But God forbid a woman make a mistake or voice a concern, lest her be mischaracterized and demonized forever by two unfortunately worded lines of dialogue.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Michael, you're finally going off to the ultimate battle, aren't you? You've really grown in stature. As your mother, it makes me feel conflicted. I'm happy and proud on one hand, but I'm also a little sad. Go and get rid of Cipher, and make it quick! And come home safely."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you've managed to reach the end of my ramblings, I'd like to say thank you. Hopefully I've given you some food for thought. Maybe I've even changed your mind about her. And even if I haven't, I appreciate you taking the time to read this regardless.

[sistaofpeace1]

There’s some discourse regarding Luke that I want to get straightened out. Major spoilers for him so don’t read if you haven’t at least gotten past Yulia City (though being further can help, too).

Luke is not a 7-year-old young child. He has been alive for seven years, but that’s not the same thing.

He is mentally 17. How do we know this?

Because he was replicated when Asch was already 10. That means Luke inherited all the neural connections that Asch already had in his brain, on a physical level.

Ergo, Luke started off as a ten-year-old and has been aging from that point onward. Yes, physically and mentally. It’s not rocket science (even though there’s a bit of “science” involved…) but I always thought that was self-explanatory.

There’s literally scenes and skits in the game where Luke and Guy (who we KNOW is biologically 21 years old and NOT a replica) where they share the same hormonal thoughts towards women, especially Tear. Even Luke is seen thinking about things that a typical 7 year old child (assuming he/she grew up in a safe and stable environment) would NOT be thinking about. Such as being awkward that he was sleeping in a (rather pretty) girl’s bed, or when Anise mentioned the party “sleeping together.”

(And as an actual parent to a seven-year old boy, I can one hundred percent attest to this.)

“Oh, but Guy actually did call him a child!”

…Have you actually heard of metaphors? Lmao. He was comparing him to a child, because he only had 7 years of experience.

Tell me…would the party even push Luke to hook up with Tear if they had ANY inclination that he was still mentally a 7 year old? Not just that, but even Natalia has a hard time choosing between him and Asch (and absolutely doesn’t even think about his “age.” It’s not even a question for her).

So, Luke is mentally a 17 year old teenager for most of the story. End of discussion.

Hope I was able to clear that up. :) :) :)

Edit: I know people make tongue-in-cheek comments, fanart, etc. and I have no problem with that. It’s funny to think about him as a “little kid”—but when people use that as a so-called “basis” for why he can’t have serious, mature/romantic relationships…well, that’s when I think it’s a problem.

[browneyedbeauty5725]

Was scrolling through Polin twitter and was reading on the Penelope/Marina discourse again and I have more thoughts. Just rewatching the show and the whole situation you really start to see Whistledown was genuinely Penelope's only option. When you really look at what the other options were they all end up in the same ending except Whistledown.

Firstly Penelope did everything she could to talk Marina out of it before resorting to Whistledown and I see people say how could Penelope do that when Marina was so nice to her. Marina was nice to her until it no longer benefited her. The first chance she saw Penelope was no longer going to help her trap an innocent man Marina turned on her and became extremely cruel.

Pen's other options outside of Whistledown were limited. She could've gone to Violet or Anthony or like Colin himself said she could've told him herself. Say she did,say they believed her. Which Violet and Anthony probably would have, Colin probably wouldnt have he probably would've dismissed Penelope again. But say he believed her if he didn't choose to marry Marina anyway, Penelope telling any of them or all three would've more than likely not helped. Because they would've had to prove it true.

The way things were back then only the female could break off the engagement, which the only way Marina would do was if George had come back. So say Penelope tells them and they confront Marina and Portia, it more than likely would've ended with Colin being stuck because Marina could easily say Colin was lying. That he compromised her and got her with child and they had no way to prove it wasnt true. It wouldn't have mattered when the babies were born too early but were clearly full term. And them trying to elope made it look even more like they were Colin's. And Marina had made it perfectly clear she didnt give a damn about how anybody felt about her trapping Colin. So when you really truly think about it outing Marina in Whistledown was really the only option. Because there was absolutely no way to prove Colin wasn't the one who compromised Marina and got her with child.

And also when you think about it even Portia was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She had three daughters out in society, and suddenly she has to get this cousin married who happens to be with child before anyone finds out because her husband has put them so far in debt and her daughters reputations would have been ruined. And her trying to marry Marina to the old men was because they knew and didn't care about her situation they just needed an heir and were willing to claim her child and Portia thought they were so old they'd die soon anyway and Marina's child would inherit everything. She herself tried to talk Marina out of choosing Colin because she knew the risk was too great because of how well known and loved the Bridgertons were in society and only went with the Colin scheme when she realized Marina was not letting it go.

Was Marina's situation sad,yes it was. But Marina was not just a victim in this situation. She was a victim of her own circumstances and she put herself in the situation she was in. Point blank George shouldve married her before he left,he should've married her when he compromised her. And based on the fact she knew what missing her courses meant means she at least had some idea about what she and George were doing and what could happen. Marina was a victim of her own making and it was horrible and unfair,but she was also very much in the wrong for trying to do what she did to Colin.

[rebellum]

nooo i wrote a whole RESPONSE to this but then tumblr app crashed and then I had to type the whole thing out AGAIN on my computer and then in that time period the op turned reblogs off. Since they turned reblogs off, I decided to cover up their name, in order to kinda respect that.

my response:

No. It is important to create new words in order to discuss specific phenomena. That’s why words like homophobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, misogyny, transmisogyny, exorsexism, and transandrophobia were invented. 

Sure, lesbophobia is covered under “homophobia”, but lesbophobia is an important word for describing how misogyny and homophobia affect women’s experiences of homophobia. Transmisogyny is covered under “transphobia”, but it’s useful to have a term that specifically describes how trans fems experience the intersection of transphobia and misogyny, not just for being trans, but for being specifically trans feminine, and the ways that expectations of womanhood, femininity, manhood, and masculinity factor into their oppression because of their assigned sex at birth, their presentation, and their gender. Exorsexism is covered under “transphobia”, but it’s useful to have a term to describe how transphobia affects specifically people outside of the gender binary. Misogynoir is covered under misogyny, but the term was created to specifically describe how Black women experience the intersections of racism and misogyny. Of course my explanations here are a little reductive, each one of these examples has much more to it than what I listed. 

In a similar vein, transandrophobia is useful for understanding how transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and the meta-epistemologies of those discourses affect trans mascs, not just for being trans, but for being trans masc. Oppression, both systemic and on individual levels of discrimination and prejudice, works differently for people depending on the intersections of their identity (assigned sex at birth, assigned gender at birth, presentation, gender identity, race, culture, ability, etc). 

So transandrophobia is useful for discussing specifics like:

The idea of “lost lesbians” and “the trans cult tricking little girls into mutilating their bodies”

The rhetoric of violence around testosterone-based HRT. There is the incorrect idea that people who take T become more violent because they are becoming more masculine. 

This association of masculinity with violence, and how that affects trans mascs. For trans people regardless of gender, proximity to masculinity puts people in danger in queer spaces. People are treated worse if they are trans masc, trans fem and don’t pass well enough to the surrounding people, or nonbinary and not sufficiently ‘safely’ androgynous (skinny, hairless, and white, with no prominent secondary sex characteristics). 

How trans mascs are treated differently when they come out, or when they start to transition. Many people find that people are colder to them, they experience higher rates of abuse, and if they are trans men they are told to not talk about their experiences because ‘they are men and can’t possibly understand misogyny’. The voices of people who aren’t trans masc often end up being listened to more about trans masc experiences, than the people who have actually lived through those experiences. Like, people are shitty to trans people that are masculine specifically because they are masculine.

Corrective rape 

Many people, even in feminist and trans spaces, believe that a man’s gender cannot factor into his experiences of oppression. Eg believe that the fact that they are men is irrelevant to trans men’s experiences, believe that a Black man’s masculinity has nothing to do with how he experiences racial oppression, etc. There are even some vocal people who believe that men cannot be oppressed, and that trans men cannot be oppressed, specifically because being men means they CAN’T experience oppression. 

The idea that trans men transition in order to try to escape misogyny 

Discrimination in reproductive healthcare 

A lot more, it would take ages to list the different kinds of transandrophobia

I also noticed you said “continue to feel its effects if they don’t pass”. But that idea is part of the issue: trans mascs continue to experience oppression for being trans masc when they DO pass. Even if someone is well passing, and stealth, they still directly experience discrimination for being trans masc through things like access barriers to reproductive healthcare, higher rates of abuse, sexual assault, etc. 

So transandrophobia (trans andro + phobia, not trans +androphobia as some people against the concept seem to believe) is, like other specific terminologies of oppression, really useful as shorthand for the specific forms of oppression people face not just for being trans, but for being trans masc.

[itsnothingofinterest]

Hey hope you're doing ok with the recent bnha discourse?

Still holding out hope for shigaraki/tenko and good writing 👍👍

Can I ask you, if you ever find it kind of off-putting (like I do) when some bnha fans commit to the idea that Deku and the other younger heroes will be the ones to change their society for the better, after the villains are killed?

As if purely heroic methods were really capable of changing hero society, when the very best that the innocent people in bnha have done from their constant protectors, the heroes, is toss the hero kids a shirt and some dollar store med. Items??

(To say nothing of the government corruption that came to be under All-might's nose, that Deku and the other heroes haven't thought about once.)

And they honestly believe that's the best outcome...

It feels either very optimistic or unknowing at best, and completely ignorant at worst.

Do you think so or differently?

Oh yeah, no I totally get what you mean; it kinda looks like we’re on course for a lot to get worse actually. And it all comes back to how poorly they handled the villains; both their talking points, and their failure to save them.

We just have not been given any indication that the next gen are going to do anything better than their predecessors; they're ending their arcs side by side with them as equals and partners after all.

Rather than improving things, they're basically a carbon copy of the last generation; which I feel is exemplified in how the final battle of this war ending in a retread of Kamino. Except like I said, in some areas it feels like it'll just get worse. This retread of Kamino ending not in an arrest, but in a murder; something I find very worrying given Deku's status as the next symbol (which, despite all criticism of All Might in the same roll, Deku has become anyway) because of the impact that'd have on treatment of villains by the heroes Deku inspires. Add in their treatment of Machia & their support of Hawks' handling of Twice and it just doesn't look good. Oh and if that same crowd gets wind of his status as 'The Greatest Hero Who Saves By Putting You Out Of Your Misery' that'll be even more catastrophic. (Especially once the Singularity doomsday starts up for real.)

Meanwhile, what little progress has been made on a societal level is either purely for the heroes benefits, like the civilians acting more grateful to the heroes (and as you say, the results of that are pretty middling, amounting to first aid & a shirt); or else maybe baby steps in the right direction like Shoji's answer to the heteromorph plot. Baby steps they do not have time for, mind you. And even then, that's still a 'maybe' because Shoji's not actually planning anything different from normal hero activity: just be inspiring and hope people follow your example. Meanwhile everything else societal that brought us here, corruption in the system, poor treatment or handing of quirks, general prejudice; it's all just gone unaddressed.

Probably because the points with which they used to be addressed, the League, instead got their plot points changed to revolve around motives more personal, less serious, less justifiable, and more easily addressable by the kids. Y'know; Toga's plot used to be about society's treatment of the other but then was about her wanting love, Dabi's was about people in power abusing their power but then was about him wanting attention, and Shigaraki's was about the lie of hero society and the complacency of the people it inspired, but Deku couldn't do anything about that so instead it because about Tenko's hatred towards his house. But then Deku still couldn't do anything about that so instead it became about Tenko's self-hated. And then Deku still couldn't address that either all too well, really, so we instead got 'It was AFO All Along'; and that Deku could handle with trivial ease. What self-respecting All Might clone couldn't punch AFO?

To use a metaphor I think Tomura would appreciate; it's like they all turned on easy mode, and Deku especially turned on baby mode, and it feels like we're all going to get the bad ending as a result of them skipping so many side-quests, dialogue trees, or special objectives. Personally speaking, any hope I had in things turning around was based in how the villains would be handled, both a) because I expected how they were handled would reflect how their societal motives would be handled(i.e. how Deku saved Tenko would inform us of how he'd save other Tenkos), and b) because I expected they'd need the help and perspective.

Needless to say, I've not been left with much hope that things will turn around.

So yeah, right there with you hoping Tomura could somehow come back, partially because that's the only part of this ending that feels salvageable even by his long-shot odds. But boy is the rest a mess of unfortunate implications beneath the veneer of how "The Day is Saved"...Man, Deku really is an All Might clone.

[greyfix]

Klance Fic Recs

i'm not going to lie to you, i don't know how to reblog on communities, so i'm gonna just throw this out there and hope it works.

Alot of these are old, i have an archive of klance fics i read and reread all throughout the last 5 or so years, so that's where these are coming from.

The New Romantics

This is going to have some sort of plot, but for now, yeah. Klance smut, as promised, more to come. Laughing at the discourse over which sho

tumblr.com

Something is up with lance, and Keith notices. The Become Frenemies. With benefits…?

Angst, fluff, smut, etc

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Replace You -- MarvelSPhaNdom

So Keith was leaving for the blade, so what? I mean sure, Lance would miss teasing him, but it wasn't a big deal ... right?

 It may not have been for the first day, or the second day, but by the end of the week? It turned out to be a big deal. 

 He missed Keith, freaking missed him. Him and his stupid mullet, Him and his stupid gorgeous eyes, Him and his even more stupid useless jacket.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shut Up and Dance With Me -- wittyy_name

Lance and his friends have been regulars at the Altea Dance Studio for years. Not just for classes, but to hang out, practice, and spend time with good people who love dancing. Every year, they audition to be one of the few representing Altea at the regional dance competition. Lance always auditions solo, but this year he misses out on auditions and blows his chance to participate. And so does his self-proclaimed rival, Keith.

Luckily, Shiro comes up with a brilliant plan: convince Lance and Keith to audition as a duo.

With a little convincing, and a lot of effort, these two might just be able to pull it off and go to regionals... or they might crash and burn.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Written On Your Skin -- Trashness

Keith is your typical troubled kid who's just trying to sort his life out. Things aren't perfect, but he's attending night school to get enough credits for university, he loves hanging out with Shiro and Matt on the weekends, and he's prepped to be the youngest member of his martial arts club to get his second Dan black belt. Things are looking up for Keith!

That is until strange notes start to appear on his arm.

They don't come off. At least, not when Keith tries to remove them. And they're written in handwriting that Keith knows isn't his.

So where are they coming from?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blind Affection -- jilliancares

After Lance gets injured in battle he finds himself without his eyesight, a situation he never would've expected himself to get into. Half expecting to get kicked off the team, Lance is determined to train harder and keep the fact that he's upset about his loss of eyesight from his teammates. No harm ever comes from bottling everything up, right?

(Wrong. Also Keith helps him train. Also Lance shows Keith proper skin care. Also Lance has a huge crush on Keith. Also maybe being blind's gonna help him get in Keith's pants [and heart].)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Ultimate Wingman -- KR_Luna, Luna_Vulpes

Lance and Hunk have moved in to the new student apartments at Garrison University called The V at Garrison.

Living on their floor, they meet and befriend their neighbors: Pidge, a child prodigy in robotics. Matt, Allura, and Shiro, life time friends with the boys watching over their siblings. And Keith, the anti-social boy who hates change.

As time progresses, they all become friends and Lance finally finds someone to help him explore his bisexuality - his gay neighbor Keith.

They strike a deal = Lance helps Keith find a social life while Keith becomes Lance's wingman, but what happens when both men realize that their deal has become more complicated than they expected.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's OK -- DeetsViBre

Lance hid himself behind layers of bravado and for many years only two people had ever seen past his facade. One was dead and the other was Hunk.Late one night while Hunk and Lance were having a private conversation Keith accidentally interrupted. His presence wasn't as disruptive as Lance had expected and things began to change between them. A bond is formed and becomes something neither could have imagined. Literally, it's not something they could explain to their friends and teammates...Can they navigate their new relationship while keeping it all a secret from their team? maybe? But probably not.

Aka: Lance is not OK. He has a huge crush on Keith and suddenly gets a chance to do something about it. Oh, but wait, first he has to try and stay alive in the cold vacuum of space. Maybe he can get the guy and survive at the same time? Either way that's the path he decided to take! plus overcoming anxiety and trauma! yeah...

This is a Lance character study that got out of control and grew a massive plot.

Original summary: Lance had been trying to change for a long time. Rewriting yourself costs something, a deep pain with every edit.

Some tags left out for plot reasons.

^This is my all time Favorite!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In (Almost) Every Reality -- notverystraight

When Lance finds himself face to face with alternate universe versions of himself and all his friends, he’s excited to talk to them – who wouldn’t want to see just how different their life could have turned out?

However, that feeling begins to sour when Lance notices that, out of all his alternate selves, he seems to have the most underwhelming life.

And another unexpected thing. He and Keith seem to be a lot more, um… friendly with each other in the other realities…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bright Eyes -- amycoolz, SylWritesStuff

When Keith agrees to meet Hunk for a study session at the mall food court, he isn't expecting him to bring his roommate. He isn't expecting to be asked on a date, to accept, and to enjoy himself more than he has in years. He's definitely not expecting to get wrapped up in the world of a blind Cuban and the grief he carries right next to hope.

But Keith's always been good at adapting to the unexpected. And throwing punches when needed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Living in Color -- sungsformugs

t was just a simple mind-meld exercise. But something seems to happen in the middle and now Lance and Keith can feel each other's emotions. Lance realizes that Keith actually desperately wants to be open and vulnerable around people and Keith realizes that Lance just wants someone to notice him. They try to navigate their new reality.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[hussyknee]

it’s rare to find a sinhalese person (online atleast) who is supportive of tamil self-determination. genuine question: among leftist circles in sri lanka, how common is such a stance?

I don't know whether I'm a reliable source to answer this question because I'm very jaded about this in general. A couple of days ago, someone on the Sri Lanka Reddit started up discourse about Maitreyi Ramakrishnan's choice to reject identifying with the country that tried to genocide her people, which I'm still chewing wire about. I'm a very isolated person with a very small social circle of like-minded leftist friends. They're mostly not SinBud and anti SinBud nonsense, but none of them are Tamil and I'm the one who really convinced them about Eelam I think. The people I learned from, who are out there doing the work of building inter-ethnic dialogue and overturning Sinhalese propaganda, might have a more hopeful view.

Thing is, there's no one "leftist" faction here because "left" doesn't mean the same thing as it does in the West. The Rajapaksas' party SLPP is socialist, a legacy of the SLFP that they branched off from, that was the party aligned with the USSR. They and their voters and their saffron terror acolytes (Buddhist priesthood) are all for public infrastructure they can rob blind and central government they can use to crush minorities, and build on the nationalist fervour of genocidal Sinhalese Buddhism that's served both major parties since independence.

There's quasi-communists, descendants of the ethnonationalist Marxist JVP that rose in opposition to the class corruption of ethnonationalist USSR-aligned socialist SLFP and enthonationalist US-aligned neoliberal UNP. The current JVP party itself is no longer communist; their coalition the NPP are mostly just very pro-union social democrats, and they've since distanced themselves from their ethnic myopia, possibly due to suffering much of the same state terrorism as minorities via militarisation and policies like the draconian Prevention of Terrorism Act (PTA). They're the most vocal about the abolition of the executive presidency, the removal of all martial law mechanisms and the PTA, defunding of military and police, and restructuring and executing the long-mismanaged socialist infrastructure. These are usually the working class and university students, but their base has been growing in other demographics too, since we "held our noses and voted" for the Yahapalana government in 2015 and it ended up fucking us over. But despite their sympathy with the suffering of Tamils and Muslims and favouring the devolution of power, most still cling to the idea that Sinhalese majoritarianism is a fair result of democracy.

The kind of pro-LGBT, anti-racist, feminist liberals that would pass muster with the western left otoh, are a minority of urban, English-speaking middle class. The younger of this crowd is increasingly favouring the aforementioned NPP (that is rapidly marrying the economic left with the social consciousness led by western dialogues that otherwise go against their traditional rural working class base), but that is very new and hampered by decades of Red Scare propaganda. The minority communities and the urban liberals traditionally vote for the current neoliberal party, that has distanced itself from their virulent nationalism over the last thirty years and basically modelled itself after the US Democrats (diet right-wing as opposed to nuclear right-wing) Their idea of reducing corruption and increasing efficiency is privatizing everything, makes the right pro-feminist and pro-LGBT noises, and coasts on the minority votes on the promise of never actively feeding ethnosupremacy, even if they won't do anything about it either. The Sinhalese affiliated with this party are deeply uncomfortable with if not entirely resistant to the idea that the North and East are Tamil lands colonized by the Sinhalese. Just like the quasi-communists, urban liberals are aware of the corruption and complicity of the Buddhist priesthood in ethnofascism and are prepared to do exactly as much nothing about it.

What I'm trying to say is that Sinhalese Buddhist ethnosupremacy is baked in to the Sri Lankan political fabric. "Left" means jack shit when it comes to whether Tamils have rights, in much the same way that the western left agrees on everything except Palestine. It's a political no man's land everyone tries not to look at.

The fundamental problem is that Sinhalese people who know enough about 1958, 1983, or the full scope of genocide perpetrated against Tamils during the last push of the war, let alone all 26 years of it, are very much in the minority. It takes a particular education to understand that "Sri Lanka" is a post-colonial invention that took over from "Ceylon", which was nothing but a construct for the ease of British administration. As far as I know, this education is confined to activist organizations and whoever followed my sociology program. So my kind of anarchist leftism that calls the war a Tamil genocide with their whole chest, calls the priesthood saffron terrorists, and recognises Eelam, is vanishingly small, afaik.

To be honest, I never really questioned the propaganda and narrative we've been spoon fed myself until I went to Canada when I was 23 to complete my anthro degree (became disabled and dropped out after). One thing that struck me was how racist the Sinhalese diaspora was. I was raised SinBud, my school didn't admit any non-Sinhalese, half my uncles were in the military, but these people that had left the country decades ago still hated Tamils and Muslims in a way that nobody else I knew did. I wondered whether this was what it had been like when it had all started; whether this hatred that seemed to have been preserved in amber was a true taste of what had ignited Black July. Suddenly the attitude of the Tamil diaspora towards the Sri Lankan government and Sinhalese people didn't seem so unreasonable.

Then, later in the same uni term, I went to an art exhibition of a white artist who travelled the world collecting information about their genocides and made art about them, and found a painting depicting Sri Lankan Tamils in 2008. Promptly had a meltdown. Went to the lady and told her tearfully that it was all propaganda, we didn't really hate Tamils, not even my uncles in the army hated Tamils, it was a war, the LTTE had terrorized us for my whole lifetime. Bless the woman, she didn't fight me, just let me cry at her and patted my hand and pretended to take me seriously. This made it easier for me to really think about what I knew once I'd stopped wailing and stamping. It prompted a years-long self-interrogation and fact finding that made me unearth how much brainwashing had been done to us by everyone, from our families to our school textbooks to news media. It's like the air we breathed was propaganda. And I still didn't know a fraction of what life had been like for Tamils (or Muslims) and the scope of atrocities perpetrated by the Sinhalese until I began my Society and Culture degree at the Open University when I was 30. The first year textbooks were only broadstrokes facts, but at last I found out about Gnananth Obeysekera, Prageeth Jeganathan, Stanley Thambaiya, Malithi DeAlwis. Their work on nation-making, ethnicity, historical revisionism, genocide and ethnic conflict and state terrorism...everything I should have been taught as a child. The chapters on the rapes and murders and shelling and war crimes and IDP camps were..indescribable. That was what properly radicalised me about Tamil self-sovereignty, because there's clearly no possible way the Tamil people will ever be safe and safeguarded under a Sinhalese majoritarian government.

I had to drop out of that programme too because of my health. But during the mass protests against the government in 2022, I learned even more about Tamil indigeneity, the extent of JR Jayawardena's crimes, and the persecution of Marxists and victims of the '71 and '89 insurrections. So much of the protests and their encampments were directed and galvanized by social media, that organised online and in-person lectures, teach-outs, and live discussions that anyone and everyone could attend right alongside the protests. I've never seen that kind of truly democratized, free, egalitarian civic education and discourse before. That was the very first time I saw academics, survivors, refugees and human rights activists being given a respectful platform, the masses hearing firsthand accounts from people of the North and East and witnesses of Black July. April to July 2022 was a truly golden bubble of time where I saw people finally start listening, believing, and challenging all their convictions. It was the closest we ever came to realising the hope that things could be different; that we could, as a society, understand how Sinhalese ethnosupremacy had been the black rot killing this country from the first, stop being racist Sinhala-first cunts and actually hold any of these murderers accountable.

Teach us to hope, I guess.

But I suppose it's no small thing that I learned about the Tamil resistance and struggle and taught all my friends about it. I'm sure they're informing their own circles in small ways too. These tendrils are hard to see, but they exist and grow. Especially with the fall of the Rajapaksas and their Bhaiyya contingent, more people can see ethnosupremacy for the grift that it is, and the younger generations are less defensive, more willing to listen and eager for justice and change. So I guess the answer is: not very common, but less uncommon than it used to be.