#just fucking leave queer women alone

[finalhaunts]

Lesbian flag discourse set us back like 20 years for real

[butch-bakugo]

One of the worst ideas I've seen genuinely spread around the LGBT community is that liking a gnc person of the opposite gender is "fetishizing".

Bi women liking feminine boys is not "fetishization". Fem men aren't inherently gay or bi. Straight women liking fem men is not fetishization either. He is LITTERALLY within her sexuality but because you only view feminine men as "soft boy femboy little Twink gays who get preyed on by those creepy Fujoshis straight women 🥺" instead of... Ya know... Just a man who is feminine and could be litterally any sexuality, you think that wlm woman is a predator.

Sams gose with y'all and your stupidity surround masculine women. Bi men can like butches and masc women and it's not "fetishizing lesbians". Masc women aren't Inherently lesbian or bi. Straight Men liking masculine women isn't fetishization because she is LITTERALLY within his sexuality but because you only view straight men as "predatory creepy rapists who want to assault the fat ugly hairy dyke whose CLEARLY only presenting that way to drive men off but men feel entitled to her body" instead of, ya know, just a masculine woman who could be of litterally any sexuality, you think that mlw man is a predator.

If you want more cis het men to feel comfortable wearing dresses and skirts and nail polish and make up, you have to stop both the external cishet and internal LGBT assumptions about men who like feminine things. A bigot calling him a faggot and you calling him a queer~🏳️‍🌈 are both forcing a sexuality based connotation onto this random man that can get him in serious danger from homophobes and transphobes. Your gaydar is wrong.

If you want more cis het women to feel comfortable wearing suits and boots and cutting their hair short and having visible body hair, you have to stop both the external cishet and internal LGBT assumptions about women who like masculine things. A bigot calling her a dyke and you calling her a queer~🏳️‍🌈 are both forcing a sexuality based connotation onto this random woman that can get her in serious danger from homophobes and transphobes. Your gaydar is wrong.

Stop assuming all gender nonconformity is based in gayness and transness. Is it a good indicator? Sometimes but never assume and once you stop assuming, you help more cishets feel comfortable participating in gender fuckery. Stop assuming every masc woman is a butch and stop assuming every fem man is a Twink. Those are gay labels and there's nothing Inherently LGBT about presentation.

[sapphicdessi]

Are the bisexual women in that video calling gay/lesbian people queer?

i'm more concerned they're saying "bi lesbians" are real and telling every lesbian who says to stop that "sexuality is fluid" and that lesbians can like men. they have larped and support larpers. acting like lesbian is someone who hates men but is attracted to them is fucking absurd. shit take after another. it's basically a homophobic lesbian shit talking sesh where they speak over an for lesbians and act like incels too

[roadkillgodfather]

When you're watching a 90's/early 2000's sitcom and there's the 2394th joke about trans people

[lillyviarabbit]

if only wishing could change things, but i'm too paralyzed to act

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.

the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.

masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake

nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.

masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,

AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.

the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.

this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.

men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.

enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must

[autisticexpression2]

This bullshit around Imane Khelif has to be the biggest mass delusion I've seen from the right, and that's really saying something.

Transvestigators are nothing new. People have been calling Michelle Obama a man for years. But it has mostly been a niche thing not even taken seriously by most republicans.

Qanon is unhinged but mostly deals with that which is unknown to the average person, leaving room for speculation, however wild.

But Imane Khelif's gender is a straightforward issue. She is objectively a cis woman. This isn't at all debatable by any sane standard. There is absolutely no reason to believe otherwise. She is a cis woman from a conservative Muslim country where any expression of queerness is illegal. There is no way a transgender or otherwise queer person would be selected to represent Algeria. There are even photographs of her as a little girl if you're still not convinced.

But the right has arbitrarily decided that she's a man based on absolutely nothing, and suddenly, the question of whether or not this WOMAN has a penis, an objective true or false question, has become a culture war issue. So now it doesn't matter what PROOF you bring up. Saying this woman is a woman is woke now, so they have to disagree on principle against all evidence and logic. People who have been screaming about precise biological definitions of gender for years now have decided someone's gender based on vibes alone because irony is fucking dead.

And it's not just a niche view held by the more unhinged online sections of the right. Celebrities like Elon Musk, JK Rowling, and Logan Paul are tweeting it. Politicians are tweeting it. Babylon Bee is publishing "satirical" pieces about how abusing women is now an Olympic sport.

We are living in the absolute stupidest timeline.

[wellofdean]

I wanted to make a separate pose to big up these excellent tags on this post about how a show can be about misogyny when it's about men from @deangirlism101 :

#by virtue of watching the show long after it stopped airing and after years of exposure to the fandom#I've experienced a very interesting phenomenon wherein i went in expecting a very straightforward male fantasy#specifically in regards to dean#and was continuously surprised by how dean was around women who were actual characters and not caricatures#with caricatures of women dean also becomes a caricature of a womanizer#but with woman characters? with victims and friends?#dean is constantly paternal/brotherly#endlessly protective and respectful#in fact dean's utter lack of sexualization of the complex women around him in the first few seasons#kind of had me thinking he might just be straightforward gay#additionally it's interesting to point out that dean is the only one of the three winchesters who does not have a#''symbolic woman'' that drives his narrative#i.e. of the three winchesters he is the one who engages with the women around him as people and not someTHING to give him ''purpose''#which ties pretty well into his own role in his family being a typically femenine one#john endlessly relies on dean to serve the role of his mother yet he resents him when he does it so naturally#which from a queer lense is pretty much spelling out ''john can't put his finger on it but something (queerness) about dean bothers him''#anyways it just surprises me how#the fandom has perpetuated this image of the characters#and how#ironically#that image is the exact caricature dean so obviously puts on and we so obviously are supposed to KNOW he puts on

Some really nice points here, and bang on target:

Dean is not called to his adventure/journey because a symbolic woman dies like John and Sam are; he is put upon it by his father and his own sense of responsibility and love before he has the agency to choose. He wants his father's approval, his brother's love, and he wants not to be alone in a world of monsters...and...is HE a monster? A killer? Is everything his fault?

John resents Dean because what he needs from Dean (obedience, domestic work, emotional labour) is feminine. It's what women are for. Dean internalizes that resentment. Sam defies John and is driven by his own losses, and John can respect that, but Dean becomes the family repository of what they've lost. Dean is the eldest daughter who can never do enough.

John has chosen to abandon normal life and live on the fringes to pursue his revenge quest, and Sam is fighting to get back to the center -- left his family, hot girlfriend, Stanford Law, credit in the straight world, friends. But Dean? He has accepted that he will never be normal. He has accepted that he will always be a lonely, liminal weirdo who knows something terrible about the world that most people are spared from knowing.

Like:

If you leave Supernatural season 1 without realising that everything Dean pretends to be is pretty much the opposite of what he is, then you are not watching it right, full stop. The Dean Winchester he pretends to be is a character invented by a terrified, homeless, wounded little boy who doesn't know how else to protect himself.

Second, if you can't see how totally fucking queer all that is, I CAN'T HELP YOU. And,

you cannot hit that many nails on the head without knowing where you're swinging your hammer, and in conclusion, Dean was always deeply queered, and that was in the DNA of his character.

The truth is, that Dean is a very cohesive character. He is written and performed beautifully, and with intention. He is not an accident, he is an artistic creation, and he is excellently drawn. I am not "giving the writers too much credit", I am taking an Occam's Razor-type view of it, and coming up with the simplest explanation for what I see on the screen.

That said, if by some insane magic trick they managed to make Dean this queer by accident? It doesn't matter what they intended, because THE TEXT IS WHAT IT IS. I don't need the permission of the authors to see a church by daylight, and Dean is THAT OBVIOUS.

[steddieas-shegoes]

“We have to discuss the temperature of the water in this shower.”

“You could get out if you don’t like it.”

Robin rolled her eyes as she continued to lather up her hair.

They were both running late, hence the showering together.

They’d done it quite a few times when they were in a rush or just didn’t want to be alone, which happened a lot after nightmares.

It further proved they’re platonic with a capital P friendship, as if they needed the proof to begin with.

Sometimes Robin would wash his hair when he had a migraine, sometimes he’d give her a shoulder massage after a long day in class.

It just worked for them.

Robin joked it was the only time she’d ever shower with a man, and Steve joked that it was probably the only time he’d shower with a lesbian.

It worked.

They were so caught up in their usual routine taking turns in the water and soaping up, they didn’t even notice when the bathroom door opened.

“Robs, I have soap in my eye, move.”

“You’re a child, Steve. A child.”

“It hurts! Move!”

“Learn to close your eyes dingus!”

“Learn to move when I need you to!”

Eddie was frozen in the doorway to the bathroom watching as the argument continued despite the fact that Robin moved and Steve got the soap out of his eyes.

Robin had come out to him a year ago. He remembers very distinctly laughing about how the small town queers always found each other like fucking magnets.

Steve had come out to him a few months previously, letting him know he was definitely into men and women and had probably always known, but was too stubborn to admit he was probably way more into Billy Hargrove than he should’ve been.

Robin was a lesbian.

She was currently naked in a shower with Steve, who was also naked.

They were naked in the shower together.

He looked down at the floor for their modesty, but still couldn’t move, his brain trying it’s best to come to any conclusion that made sense.

The water shut off and the door opened.

He was still looking at the floor.

Robin’s feet were on the bathmat. He assumed she was wrapping herself in a towel, but he had no idea because he couldn’t look up.

Then Steve’s feet were on the bathmat.

He wanted to look up.

He really wanted to get a glimpse of what his dreams built up in his mind almost every night.

But he couldn’t.

He was still in shock that they showered together. Naked!

Robin was leaving the room. Had she said something? Surely she’d noticed him, he was still standing halfway in the door. Her shoulder brushed his as she left.

He forced himself to look up a little and saw a smirk on Steve’s face.

Why was he so calm? Why was he not yelling at him about looking at them naked? Why was he not explaining what was going on?

Steve’s hand was on his shoulder.

Oh god. He was soaking wet. The towel barely covered him at all.

Eddie was going to die. Right here in their bathroom.

“You good?”

Eddie choked on his next breath. Was he good?! How was he supposed to be good? Something needed to be explained.

“Uh. Robin’s a lesbian?”

Steve snorted. “She is. Very true.”

“Naked? In the shower?”

“Also very true. We do tend to be naked when we shower.”

“Together?”

“Yeah, not all the time, but we do.”

“I’m confused.”

“I know. We confuse a lot of people. It’s just a comfort thing. Routine. Don’t read into it.”

Then Steve left the bathroom like he hadn’t just blown Eddie’s mind.

They platonically showered together.

Did they platonically have sex too?!

Oh Jesus, no. Robin was definitely a lesbian. A lesbian who very much didn’t like men even 0.01%.

He stood there for a while letting his brain run the marathon. He didn’t really cross the finish line before Steve was coming back in to do his hair.

“Dude, can you go get some air or something?”

“Why don’t we platonically shower?”

What the actual fuck, Eddie. That wasn’t even a thought your brain had before. What the fuck.

He managed to look up at Steve’s face, which was bright red.

“Uh. Well.”

“Sorry. I don’t know why I asked that. Um.”

Eddie turned to leave.

Steve grabbed his shoulder before he could.

“Because it wouldn’t be platonic.” Steve cleared his throat. “If it was you. It wouldn’t be because we’re good friends. It would be because I want to see you naked. Kiss you naked. Probably other things.”

“That can be arranged.”

Eddie had no fucking clue what he was saying. Some horny demon had taken over his brain and he couldn’t control anything anymore.

But it must have done something because Steve was smiling at him like he’d just told him it was Christmas morning and Santa brought him everything he asked for.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Tonight?”

Steve giggled. He fucking giggled.

“Yeah, okay. Tonight.”

Eddie left without another word.

Tonight.

Part 2

[girlcalledwhatsername]

This shouldn't even be need to be said but don't fucking report people who express being suicidal. I don't care how much you think you're doing it for someone's own good, it does NOT help us it only harms further

READ that AGAIN

You are ACTIVELY harming those people when you try to be a goody two-shoes and tell on them when they get suicidal

Don't fucking report them to social media app features that have the report for self harm option. Don't fucking call a suicide hotline on them. Don't fucking report them to therapists, paychiatrists, cops, controlling parents or partners

It does not matter how uncomfortable it makes you - this isn't ABOUT you - it doesn't matter how much it goes against your cute little saviour complex thinking you're being oh such a wonderful kind heroic person by "saving" someone from themself.

When you report a person to any of those places it heavily risks hospitalisation and incarceration. Where I live it's technically still a crime to attempt suicide, they never overturned the law. And if you think being in a ward might help them - do everyone a favour and go check out the actual conditions in the wards and talk to psych survivors about how they actually are. Otherwise shut up about things you have no experience with.

Everyone should have a right to autonomy, especially bodily autonomy, and you don't have to like what they do with their own body for you to know not to take that away from someone. It's not your place to judge, it's not okay to be moralistic about bodily autonomy suddenly because you can't handle the reality of mentally ill people.

And it's not fucking okay to lock us in and remove us from society just because our disorders are too fucking ugly for you to look at.

If you absolutely have to help just talk to a suicidal person if they're up to it, just ask them what will help, and if you can't do that then leave us the fuck alone you snitches

And don't come at me with the law, if you had to be an ally to mentally ill people, to queer people, to women, to any kind of marginalised people, historically a lot of it has always included standing against the law and with us.

STOP REPORTING US

[poggersbathwater]

vivziepop: this show is about criticising Christianity"

proceeds to: woobify sinners and make them overlords as a reward,for some reason all or most sinners (cannibals, rapists,murderers....etc) are queer,villainized Adam the first human (had nothing to do with Christianity at the time he got created and it's not his fault that god made him for a woman and just wanted peaceful life with her) who lost two women because of lucifer,made lucifer the good innocent guy (let's ignore that he is the main reason why humanity is suffering), "7 DEADLY SINS ARE GOOD FOR YOU ACTUALLY! LUST IS ABOUT CONSENT AND GLUTTONY ARE ABOUT SELF CONTROL,EXCEPT FOR GREED CAUSE THERE'S NO SUCH A THING AS A GOOD GREED CAUSE FUCK RICH!....btw please buy my Valentino cups! (I Wonder why 7 sins are deadly in a first place if they're caring and healthy according to viv)" "Wait.....are you telling me that stolas is a wise high ranking demon who give knowledge to those who summon him? Nonsense! Stolas is a horny softie who needs his imp slave to protect him! Screw accuracy! And you know what? I am making the rest of ars goetia and turn them into birds and had nothing to do with their demonology because I just need to use their names to make more characters"

(Yeah sorry about stolas accuracy part,it's just that I am tired of "not everything should be accurate" argument,that's like making thoth a Egyptian god of wisdom into a weak softie hypocrite character who is obsessed with sex and have nothing to do with his wisdom and knowledge,actually there's a lot of interesting things about thoth that makes him respected amongst gods and if viv wrote him he would be nothing but a joke character that have no personality outside of sex and victimhood mentally)

Alright lightning round here

Woobifying (idk what that means but i imagine it means glorification) sinners: I think the overlords are there to run businesses and industries in Hell, not to reward them exactly- but I do see the point you're making. The worse they are, the more power they have, which doesn't look too good for Hell's case.

Having most of the sinners be queer: Yeah I.. also get this one. It's weird how no fascists or.. well, generally bigoted people are there, but all the characters that ARE there happen to be queer. And I'm not saying queer people can't be bad, they can, but when there's more queer people than bigots in a place that's supposed to have the bad people... yeahhhhh no

Villainizing Adam: Yeah I hate how they turn Adam into a righteous douche- though it could make sense, since he did eat the fruit too (it probably changed his behavior a lot), turning him into a righteous douche who's bitter he lost his wife was.. kinda messed up.

The characterization of the sins: YEAH ACTUALLY THIS ONE SUCKS !! The whole point of Gluttony is that you just keep indulging without a care- the whole point of lust is that it's forced and it hurts people- if it wasn't about force, it'd be called love. Because consent is love. Force and betrayal (cheating/infidelity) is lust. The sins being characterized as good people takes away from why they are sins.

Stolas: Okay I don't know much about demon stuff, so I'll leave that alone (the ars goetia isn't talked about in Christianity so that's why I can't answer it), but I will say that stolas being the victim all the time is fucking ass. Yes, stolas has been forced into an arranged marriage. That sucks, it does. But that doesn't excuse any of his actions towards Blitzo, or his emotional unavailability towards Via.

I've never gotten this many asks Holy shit

[violottie]

you lot will attack and harass and insult and degrade lesbians for our sexuality and then be like, with your whole fucking chest, "LOOK GUYS IM SUCH AN INCLUSIONIST MEMBER OF THE COMMUNITY THT IM TELLING THE LESBIAN THEYRE WRONG AND BAD FOR BEING GAY! ISNT IT SO GOOD AND RADICALLY INCLUSIVE OF ME TO EXCLUDE LESBIANS FOR BEING EXCLUSIVELY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN?!?!!! ISNT IT SO QUEER TO TELL LEABIANS THEY CAN AND SHOULD FUCK MEN?!?!!! PLEASE TELL ME IM GOOD PLEASE PLEASE!! THIS IS SO RIGHT! IM SUCH AN INCLUSIONIST"

shut the fuck up. leave lesbians alone.

we dont like men. we will never like men. ever. at all. no exceptions. no fluidity.

no flings "just because we can“ because we dont. ever.

no flings "if we want to" because we dont want to at all.

that's the whole fucking point of being an actual lesbian. exclusive attraction to women. zero attraction to men. that is what a lesbian is.

men are and always will be excluded from lesbianism. your crying and whining and making posts about "how queer heterosexual sex between a lesbian and a man is" wont change that.

[destinygoldenstar]

Due to the results of the election, things look bleak. And I live in a red state.

So in case anything were to happen, I want to be open about my experiences a lot more. I'm going to try and live as long as I possibly can, and I can tell you that if I get jailed, assaulted, or killed, it's NOT by my hands.

I'm an asexual lesbian woman in my twenties. I live in a red state.

When Donald Trump became president the first time, I was still a kid. So I couldn't get too caught in the crossfire of what he was doing during that term. That, and I had not figured out my identity yet. It wasn't until a couple months after Trump became president that I discovered from Internet browsing that "Wait, men x woman is NOT the only form of romantic love that exists? You can do that?"

Before that, I've been writing since I was six, never stopped and became self taught how to write fiction. Even as a kid, when I was a shit writer and just ripping off from the media I consumed, I would always make the straight pairings a 'friendship' between two girls instead. Because it was what I understood then. For awhile, after I got out of the phase, I dismissed that as me being a mansogynistic child. But no, turns out there was more to the story than that.

There was other things that became hints as well before I became aware who I was. When the other girls in my school were gushing about cute boys and teasing about 'do you like this boy? You talk to him so obviously you like him.' I would be in my corner minding my own business, not interested in the topic. When it was directly targeted at me, I would say 'yeah I like him', because due to my autism, either my reaction sent mixed communication signals, or I would think they meant platonically. Then they would either tease that I confessed to romance, or they would get I got it wrong and say 'I meant as a boyfriend'. And I wouldn't answer because I didn't want to be rude.

What was wrong with only seeing boys as friends? Well back then where I was from, everyone assumes everyone is straight. A boy talks to a girl, obviously they're gonna smooch.

So I, as someone who didn't know queerness existed, had to assume I was like that as well. And I was just "Not old enough to get it".

And then as I get older, that mindset turns into 'men and women always want to kiss and fuck each other all the time'.

But I wasn't interested in that at all, especially not the fucking. But there was no awareness of queerness in public and I didn't use social media, so I had to assume I was like that as well, just that I wasn't old enough to get it.

Which that became a weird excuse, I learned how babies were made when I was SEVEN.

All the while, while I NEVER dreamed of ever fucking anyone, I still had some PG-Loving fantasies about the women in those 'girls cartoons' I'd watch. Winx Club, Totally Spies, the Disney Princess Movies, etc. I read the Sailor Moon manga ALL THE TIME in Middle School. I was NEVER interested in the boys they were into, and I would never get it. Even as a kid.

Maybe I was just someone who was into femininity. Maybe it was something about how they'd stylize their hair or fashion, or their softer voices, or their more delicate approaches that touched my heart. In a way male characters didn't.

Later I would realize that applied to real life too.

Then my family watched the Cinderella Live Action Remake, and let's say, I found it magical. After the movie, my mom told me "You'll find your prince one day."

She assumed I was straight. Like everyone does before they get told otherwise. She assumed I was fantasizing about the prince that swept her off her feet. But... I wasn't. I was more interested in Cinderella herself and her pretty dress and eyes and how she stood up for herself to leave her abusive household. (Celebrity Crush?)

Then there's when my family got me in the MCU. You know, before Phase 4, which after that... EW.

My family would always GUSH about how CUTE these MEN were, as celebrity crushes. And they kept saying this was completely normal. My mom was a HUGE Captain America kinnie, my sister was into Thor (& Aquaman), etc. And I... did not get it. I didn't get any crushes on any of these guys. I liked them as characters, but crush? No.

And my mom was confused by it. Why isn't my daughter blushing mad at these movie men?! "Well maybe she'll like the actor for *this new MCU male character that shows up later*."

Nope. Nothing.

You know which celebrity from the MCU I did consider hot though? Scarlet Johansen. But I was casual about it and didn't say a word and kept it to myself.

I guess it clicked to me too late what I was ACTUALLY interested in.

Not in a 'I wanna fuck them' way. HELL NO. But I am an ace who doesn't have a problem with casual kissing. Dating someone? Sure. Potentially marrying someone one day? Of course. Isn't that normal romance and what people value in their crushes? (In person crushes, obviously.)

And then there was my 'first boyfriend'. BIG quote on quote there. He was a guy a year older than me in my school that CLEARLY was crushing on me. He would constantly follow me around to try and talk to me awkwardly, compliment me, etc. (Would I say 'stalker'? Not really. He could've been worse.) And I just found it AWKWARD.

He once tried to put his arm around me lovingly, and I was uncomfortable and made an excuse to leave.

I later talked to my mom about it, and she suggested I avoid him. And I did. I never talked to him again.

Was that the right call? Not sure. But I don't want to know what relationship that would've been if I did accept his loving gestures.

And he was just the first. Through Late Middle School and Early High School, a TON of boys were after me and wanted me. And they became OBNOXIOUS about it. And EVERY TIME they confessed their love to me, I would always, right there and in front of everyone, reject them.

That didn't stop them, as they would proceed to bully me about it and get in my face about them LOVING me. Or something.

It turns out most of them were just a 'this girl is hot' thing. Some even admitted that. I asked one guy what he liked about me. He said "looks". And when I asked, "Anything else?" And he said "Nope."

That boy was a MISOGYNISTIC PIG btw. And NO SHAME too. He constantly bullied me and made jabs at me, and he said the reasons were, "Because you are a woman. You belong in the kitchen."

I'm NOT exaggerating, btw. This is actually straight up what he said.

From then I became self aware and insecure about my appearance. Like, I'm hot? People think I'm hot? For awhile, I wanted to try and ruin my appearance so I wasn't so 'traditionally attractive'. I would draw a marker all over my skin, for example.

I mean, sure, these boys were assholes. And sure, people there, before I moved, hated my personality. They like my appearance, but the moment they get a taste of who I am, they say, "What a WASTE of good looks for a woman."

But I DO NOT want this to come across as "I'm queer because I hate men". Because I don't. It was just where I was and how the boys treated me back then. Nowadays, I have a couple of male friends who are good people, and don't treat me like dirt. It's just that I only consider them friends.

Combine all of these experiences, and I guess I subconsciously realized "OH MY GOD... I'M GAY."

But I never CONSCIOUSLY wanted to confront that. You know?

I only knew of the gay people on TV at the time. And in real life, I only knew one girl that was also lesbian, but uh... she was toxic, and really hurt me, and I DON'T want talk about that.

Everyone else in my real life was straight. And openly so. I was the ONLY person in my life that wasn't. And without social media (I didn't get it till I was a proper adult), I thought I was a broken human being.

"I couldn't like girls! I'm a girl! I'm supposed to like boys! I just haven't found the right boy yet, that's all! I'm not queer! I'm not broken! I can't be more broken than I already am!"

And people already WEREN'T very accepting about me being autistic. Something I outted. And what proceeded was years of bullying, discrimination, and ridicule. Even from adults. So if anyone started to process I was gay? I WOULD BE DEAD.

And then it happened. This AMAZING girl is a part of my life, and something clicked between us. And I started to process that she really liked me. (She's demisexual) I mean, I already knew she did, we've been friends for awhile before this, but there were other feelings she was blossoming for me. Romantic feelings. I didn't confront her about it because I had to think about it myself. And then I realized it myself. I had feelings for a real life person. Romantic feelings.

A couple months later, we confessed to each other, and we became official. I'm still with her to this day, and we're in a very loving healthy relationship and we feel safe and supportive of each other.

I wish I could say that I 'came out' properly to my parents, but I didn't. Six months into my relationship, my mom caught us, and found out.

I didn't tell my parents I was gay, they found out. Simple as that.

One, it had to do with fear that they wouldn't accept me. Two, I found it RIDICULOUS that only gay people have to come out.

Straight people don't! Everyone just assume you're straight until you tell them otherwise! At least bi and pan people have an easier time pretending they only like the opposite sex!

So I just... didn't want to tell them.

I did end up coming out to my cousin on the phone, the first person I properly came out to. And all he said was a casual, "Okay. Nothing wrong with that."

Which did make me feel better and understand I wasn't broken and I was valid.

So when my mom found out about us, she confronted me about it. And I told the truth and confirmed that I was in a relationship with another girl. And... she only expressed confusion. She said I could be whatever I wanted to be, but it's clear she didn't understand it at all. Neither of my parents did.

A few days later they made it clear that even if they didn't understand it, they were going to accept me, and they broke my fears by making it clear they were not going to disown me.

My mom told me that I shouldn't be open about my sexuality to anyone else. It's 'inappropriate'. "We will accept you, but there are people in this world that won't. They will bully you to no end and hurt you."

To which I responded, "They already don't accept me."

Referring to the years of bullying I endured for my autism.

I mean, to this day, I still love my family, and are grateful they love me and want to do everything for me. But only now is my mom getting around to trying to understand my autism through research. There's something to be said about whenever we're in public, or my mom is talking to a friend of hers, she refers to me and my GF as 'best friends' and nothing more. Or how she talks about how I haven't found a boyfriend yet.

It's because of this, that when asked, I use the vague gender neutral term 'partner' when talking about my relationship in public. So while I'm not 'hiding', I'm not opening myself up for backlash either.

It just, sometimes, feels weird. While my family and my GF's family accept us, everyone else in our families are straight, as far as I know. We are the only two queer people in our family.

As for my asexual side of my identity and how I figured that out, there's not as much to the story other than what I've already said. I never found any desire to have sex with anyone, and I found the explicit material of that subject matter revolting. I always did, and I never grew out of that. Whenever someone at school started talking about something sex related, I turned the opposite direction.

One time I couldn't, much after I got my relationship, and I said very bluntly I didn't care about sex. Then they asked "Are you asexual?"

And I researched it, and realized, "Yep. That sums it up."

I told my GF that same day, honesty is the best policy after all, and she strongly accepted me and promised not to make me do anything I was uncomfortable with. And she never did. Love her.

I did research, and realized, YES, Asexual Lesbians EXIST. You can be Asexual AND be a Lesbian. There's no contradiction.

It just makes my identity more specfic.

I admit, I'm still trying to come to terms with my identity and that I'm not broken. There are times where I feel like I am, whether it's liking girls the way I'm supposed to like boys, or having no sexual desire.

And still, to this day, where I work, ALL of my other co-workers are straight. Or at least, either straight, or hiding. I am the ONLY queer person I know in my community. (Well, aside from my GF, obviously)

So when the Election happened, is it any wonder how scared I'd be?

I casually admitted to a few of my co-workers that I'm dating a woman. And I haven't been 'harassed' by any of them. Mostly because where I work, there's a bullying policy and they would get fired.

But NOW? Living in a red state? With people I work with and for casually supporting Trump's win? I feel UNSAFE. I feel ALONE. I feel like if I tell someone the truth, I'd get arrested or assaulted or something. It's bad enough that I'm a woman. But an autistic woman? A queer woman? BAD COMBINATION.

Just the other day I was working, I confessed to being terrified of the election results, and why. And there were two people I told this to.

One of them gave me a warm and caring hug and told me I would be looked after and we would be okay.

The other person I told this to looked at me in confusion and told me, "There's nothing to be scared of. Things would be far worse if Harris won."

I don't like Harris either, but they don't know that. Trump WAS in office once, so we had something to go off of.

I should be appreciative that the place I work at has told me I'll always have a safe place there and nobody that works there will hurt me, and they wouldn't let anyone hurt me if they could help it. And I am.

But there's something to be said about the people around me DISMISSING my fears. Dismissing that I am at far more risk of assault now. Dismissing that I could lose my opportunities to work and get money to feed myself now, if any laws are to get signed against neurodivergent people. Dismissing that there's now going to be more backlash for queer people more than ever, and people that will treat me like a disgrace and a villain.

Living in a red state makes this worse. My body is sensitive. If I ever get pregnant from rape, I could DIE. My GF is on disability, so if she ever gets pregnant, she could DIE. We both could DIE.

But I wanted to get my story out on the Internet, because if that ever were to happen, if in the future I get killed, I want to make it clear that I am choosing not to give up now in the present day. I am choosing to live with myself. And I am choosing to NOT abandon my GF and stay with her. Even with the backlash we'll get. Because I love her, and it's nobody's choice but my own to be with her.

Because THIS IS ME. And no one can take that away from me.

And whether I die from getting killed, or I survive the four years and die of old age, I choose to die as ME. And as nobody else.

And my story will be here, so even if it gets lost, it can be found.

You Are Not Alone. We Are In This Fight Together.

Keep Living. Keep Holding On. They Can't Take Our Identities Away From Us.

[starlightseraph]

sighhhhh…

i saw a post claiming that being uncomfortable with some of the wild rpf blogs is homophobia (or rather, that we’re only so uncomfortable with the rabid david/michael shipping because they’re both men, and not by georgia/anna stuff because they’re women), and i find that very funny.

firstly, most of us are queer to begin with, and while being queer doesn’t mean you can’t be discriminatory to other queer people, it’s important to mention.

secondly, the reason no one’s weirded out over georgia and anna is because no one is actually, truly shipping them in the real, actually world. it is very clearly a joke, and some of it is fun stories on ao3. the whole making out thing (which i’ve now seen brought up as evidence that we’re not as uncomfortable with f/f rpf) is literally in response to neil gaiman’s tumblr joke about dottie and sadie, who are fake characters that he uses to deflect from people wanting spoilers. the fandom has imagined them as being played by georgia and anna. they won’t be, because dottie and sadie aren’t actual characters in any fictional work. no one’s saying that georgia and anna, the real people, should make out, we’re making a joke about a fake storyline that only exists in several posts on tumblr.

we’re not grossed out because the the david/michael shipping is m/m. we’re grossed out because these are real people that are being treated like puppets to serve some fantasy. not hypothetical characters created for the purpose of a gag that will never be in any official form of media. not characters in a show who don’t actually exist. actual fucking humans.

rpf stands for real person fiction. fiction. i’m not even sure this qualifies as rpf anymore; no one’s treating it as a fun, made-up story, they’re presenting it as an “investigation” into the real lives of real people. people who are strangers, people who we know almost nothing about.

rpf very often morphs into this, and i really think it’s in a class of its own.

it’s one thing to write silly little stories on ao3 using the names and personalities and likenesses of real people, it’s a completely different thing to dissect every single thing you see about someone and to come to a conclusion that just so happens to perfectly fit your ideal of their lives.

i find even the purely fictional rpf to be a bit strange and uncomfortable, but i don’t have any real moral objections to it. when it bleeds into reality, though, and the wishful thinking of fans presents as a vast, complex conspiracy, that’s straight up creepy. like i won’t even go into why it’s creepy, it should be obvious. celebrities are genuinely afraid of people like this. they’re afraid of the rumours, they’re afraid of stalkers, they feel like they can’t even have innocent fun without it being “proof” that their marriage is just for show. they hate it. i hope all these blogs know that david and michael would all but certainly be very unamused by all of this. they’d probably be a bit terrified, and also embarrassed that anything they did could possibly be interpreted in these ways. no celebrity ever signs up for this, the extent of the obsession some people have is impossible to comprehend until it’s in front of you. even if they’re used to it by now, why, in the name of god, would you pile on?

please, touch grass. smell the roses. leave the parasocial echo chamber. do something to reacquaint yourselves with the real world and how real people function. if you’re really fans, leave them and their loved ones alone.

[lover-of-mine]

I have realized what is making my head explode when a BT post accidentally goes through my tags!!!! They are completely ignoring Buck is bi. They are acting like my aunt in the early 2000s. I may not have been fond of all the LUs but they were valid relationships. If Taylor had not fucked up who knows where that relationship would have gone. I mean clearly nowhere once Eddie was out because once Eddie broke up with him he spiraled and kissed Lucy. But they are still valid relationships and at this point in time I don't see how Tommy is better than any of them. To be honest he has the worst traits of Abby and Taylor but the screen time of Ally. So frustrating.

Well, when have people ever been normal about bisexuality? But here's the thing, every relationship Buck had so far had his own set of issues that somehow have been reduced to the way he was dating women, which is fucked in so many ways and the amount of times I have to stop myself from picking a fight because of bucktaylor it's actually hysterical to me because we're seriously at a point where I need to defend the validity of Taylor's place in Buck's life. Like, how did we get here? Because here's the thing, do I think Buck and Taylor were meant to be? No. Do I think Buck would've clung to her until he literally couldn't anymore if her actions hadn't hurt his family? Absolutely. I see Buck going as far as panic proposing to her if that particular situation hadn't happened, just to have someone. Because they had chemistry and Buck kept trying to force that to become love. Taylor was wrong for Buck for a multitude of reasons, but none of those reasons were because she's a woman and Buck is gay. And the relationship with Tommy is not gonna magically last forever just because Tommy is a man. Tommy is this weird amalgamation of all of Buck's love interests with Ali/Ana levels of screentime and he doesn't magically have a fighting chance just because he has a dick and people can't seem to see this. And I think that's crazy. Because Tommy was given to us in an episode that had the theme of not recognizing people, while actively making us think it was about someone else and then they did the Kim storyline and I want to scream because people can't see the parallels. And the more I look at it the more insane I get because he's all of Buck's love interests smashed into someone who's Eddie two steps to the left with none of the things we love about him. But somehow he's perfect because he's not a woman. The only thing Tommy has going for him is not being a woman. You turn him into one and none of the things he did would fly. Letting Buck get away with physically hurting Eddie? Leaving him in the curb? Not dressing up? Making a kink joke after someone Buck loves almost died? Picture those scenes with Lucy and tell me anyone in the fandom would be shipping them. Let alone fighting for them the way people are right now. But he's a man so he gets a pass and that's so fucking weird. Evan Buckley is bisexual but getting dicked down isn't going to magically make everything perfect. Jesus.

Also, since you mentioned Eddie coming out, something that I've been thinking about since we found out it was supposed to be Eddie, a Buck who thinks he's straight finding out Eddie has a boyfriend would shortcircuit. I legit think they could not find a way to write Buck's reaction to Eddie being queer that didn't end with him figuring his feelings out so they switched things up, so Buck would for sure would've gotten there once Eddie got there because he would've had big feelings about it and Buck is not the repressed one.

[ultrone]

I feel like coming out to Jeff would be so fucking funny.

He’s buying a cake that’s shaped awfully quite like a vagina.

When you’re the car together he only plays music made by sapphic women & Hozier.

If a man comes up to you whether he’s flirting or not he’s interjecting with, “Leave my lesbian alone!” or something like that.

Asks if it’s impolite of him to offer you a hotdog.

He definitely tries to set you up with girls. “I don’t know why you just won’t ask her out? She’s hot.” “Jeff, I don’t know her sexuality.” “So ask her!”

Asks for sex help. Not in a fetish way. “You’re a woman who hooks up with women. You’re a walking cheat code!”

Buys flags and rainbow gear. Will go to Pride and enjoy being flirted with by queer men.

I don’t know why I did this. You used that picture of Jeff and had a brainstorm.

-🐈‍⬛

P.S. I’m so sorry

this is amazing i loved it so much 😭😭 best hcs of jeff i’ve ever read istg they’re so accurate LMFAOO 🙏🏻

my mans would have the time of his life at pride i swear 😭 he’d also come to gay bars with you and accept drinks from random cute men ☠️