#and when I do things for other people it’s like a switch gets flipped and I instantly want to give them everything I have
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You know what I love? People with opposite styles and personalities…How about Big Bro and Lil Sis?…
Big Bro that's punk/emo/alt whichever. Meanwhile, Little Sister is pastel/hypergirlie/y2k but their attitudes are different too. Big Bro looks mean but is nice. Little Sister looks nice but is mean.
They love to see how they stick out in each other's rooms. How the black is in contrast with all the pink and the other way around. It just flips a switch in both of them. When they fuck with clothes lil sis basically glows in Big Bros black sheets. Makes little sis wanna run her mouth and get Big Bro angry teasing him for liking to do such icky things to her. Such a loser can't get pussy other from his little sister. Of course, big bro makes her eat her words.
When they fuck in Little Sister's room Big Bro loves to get her so overwhelmed in pleasure she can't help but try and grab something. Either the bed, her pretty pillows, or a stuffie. He thinks it's the cutest most pathetic thing. Wanna keep running that mouth of yours for Big Bro? He'd taunt as she is crying in pleasure.
They would definitely be possessive but subtle. They'd switch jewelry and show off the hickies. These two can get dirty! The make-out sessions and fucking is sinfully needy, hot, and primal even, it's all so icky! But they do have their soft moments.
I can keep on going about these two…
#fauxc3st#fauxcest#1cky big brother#big bro x lil sis#big bro/little sis#big sib / little sib#!cky sibling#1cky sibling#sibcon#sibcest#brocest#brocon#siscest#siscon#1cky family#1cky br0ther#1cky s1bs#1cky sister#!cky family#!cky br0ther#!cky thoughts#!cky sister#!cky little sister#!cky big brother#1cky little sister
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SO that lore yesterday, huh? ("≡╔═╻╝═▁" / "Mending" streamed on ggabraxas's, ArtfulRenegade's, and Heyhay13's twitch channels on 11/25/24)
Specifically going to talk about Armor/Atlas and his reactions to everything/the way he acts throughout the stream (also touching back on the end of the last stream-)
When the void monsters attacked in the previous stream- it's like a switch was flipped. His house was burning but that didn't matter- he had to scoop up the lizards and most importantly, the phoenix egg, before diving straight into battle He paused only a moment to stand beside Rune once most if not all of the creatures were gone. Then he stood by when Vast and Rune talked before Rune fled to the testing room.
And he sat with Vast. Almost none of his words were aimed towards himself. He stayed quiet, or he comforted. He didn't even react badly when Vast mentioned the human experimentation him and Rune had been doing.
For almost the entire Mending stream, she is always a step away from Rune and Vast. They stay a bit away, because Rune and Vast need each other- and right now, Atlas doesn't see how much they need him too. The only time that Atlas is closer to Rune than Vast is when he's fixing Rune's arm. And even then, he's so focused on the task that no blush warms his face as the inventor rests his head on Atlas's shoulder. When Vast runs up to Rune to embrace him after they had locked themselves in a room for so long, the first thing Atlas does is look away. Rummage through his pockets, glace around. Eventually he looks back, but to him- while he wants to be here, being around the two when they're all lovey-dovey almost feels like an intrusion. He doesn't belong between them two. Vast is happy. Rune is happy. So he steps away, glances off, fidgets, and waits. Waits until he can do something useful again.
Armor's main focus through these two streams is almost singular: to protect the ones he cares about. He admits this himself when Vast questions if he's okay- he says "Yeah [...] I don't know if 'okay' is the right word, but I will be okay." She's lost her house, but Rune and Vast and the rest of Brightstep are far more her home than that copper building is. He then says that he's more concerned about Rune and Vast right now than himself.
And they go through the stream. Vast and Rune obviously care for Atlas- Vast stuttering through how they could rebuild the house, Rune not wanting to bother Atlas with tending to his arm, etc. Armor (at least from what I remember) never replies when the other two thank him- at least it's never a "you're welcome". sometimes it's a 'yeah', but that's the most. This is what Armor does. This is what she wants to do. She wants to help them. So these actions don't feel worthy of thanking. It's just him helping out. Thats what he does. And as long as Rune, Vast, and the rest of Brightstep are okay, that's far more thanks than he would ever need. Sometimes just seeing the fruit of your work is a better thanks than being highlighted for it ever would. Atlas almost doesn't accept Rune and Vast's offers to give him a room, and refuses to change the room he's given because it's not his. He doesn't need accommodation- he's gotten used to making due with what he's got when it gets cold. He insists that Rune and Vast being alive matters far more than his burnt down house.
Atlas is so focused on helping those two he forgets himself. He insists that if they're going to do Rune's hair, then they need to fix up Vast too. Never does he comment on his own hair, wings, or anything. Although I'm sure the other two got to that in their self care endeavors. He doesn't even mention his birthday until the end, and Rune panics a bit- because Rune cares. But to Armor, it's... another day. One that's been bad in the past. At least today he got to spend it caring for others, being there for the people he loves.
#sparkrambles#so do you all know how much I love Armor/Atlas?#puts her in a jar and shakes her around#abababbaa#rusty stars#boundsmp#skyboundsmp#bound smp#atlas abernathy#armor abernathy#Vast cadere#Rune Ventura#vast boundsmp#rune boundsmp#Armor boundsmp
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Mission: Impossible - Talk to the Girl
Pairing: Captain Syverson X OFC
Word Count: 2870
Warnings: Fluff, Flirting, Implied PTSD, Implied Smut
Taglist: @summersong69 @amberangel112 @utterlyhopeful-fics @marantha @kebabgirl67 @littleone65 @omgkatinka @luclittlepond @elizabetharegina @enchantedbytomandhenry @narnianaos @geralts-yenn @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @sillyrabbit81 @lena-banena @mrsevans90 @confessionbrain-writings @eclecticfashionbookszipper @rosecentury @shellyshellshell @winter2112rose @secretdream2 @toooldforobsessions @wa-ni @valacircareads @missemrose @liecastillo @identity2212
Masterlist
Sy tried his best to look like he was having fun but it was a little hard to do when the loud thrum of the music was grating on his nerves. The upbeat pop song sounded nothing like gunfire or explosions so why did it put his entire body on high alert?
He glanced around the room for the millionth time, taking note of every exit and where each guest was seated now that the meal was over and people had switched chairs to mingle with other tables. If this was what retirement brought, then maybe he would have been better off going back.
During his surveillance of the room, his eyes lingered on the pretty bartender who’d appeared in the corner when they had opened up the bar. She’d caught his attention immediately, looking pretty in her simple black dress and serving everyone with a smile that made his heart ache a little whenever it wasn’t directed at him—which was every time since he hadn’t had the guts to go get himself a drink even once that evening.
His last beer had been empty for over an hour now but none of the guys at the table had gotten up so he hadn’t been able to bother them for a refill.
Not realizing he’d been openly starring for longer than socially acceptable, Sy didn’t hear his name being called until it was followed by a hit to the shoulder.
“Just go talk to her, man.”
“Who?” Sy asked, feigning innocence.
TJ, the groom and one of Sy’s best friends, shot him a look that told him he’d been busted and wasn’t fooling anyone.
“Go talk to her. Maybe the promise of a good lay will wipe that frown off your ugly mug and you’ll stop scaring off my wedding guests.”
The problem was, Sy had this feeling like that girl wasn’t meant to be just a one night thing, and he had no idea how to go about finding out if that was true. It wasn’t like he’d never gone home with a stranger in a bar. He was just used to the girls being the ones to show interest first.
“Okay, clearly I’m gonna have to spell this out for ya.” TJ cleared his throat, putting on a serious air and leaning in closer to Sy. All the boys around the table had cut off their conversation, focusing on their exchange.
“Your mission: libation retrieval. You will need to make your way fifty feet south of your current position at which point you will make contact with the person of interest. Now, this is where it gets tricky. You will need to be very mindful of what you say or this op could blow up in your face. The code word is ‘hi’.”
Sy couldn’t help but smile and flip his middle finger at the other man.
“You’re a dick, you know that?”
“And you’re being a pussy. Guess that’s why we make the perfect pair.”
He was right, Sy did need to put on his big boy pants, go order his own damn drink and talk to the beautiful woman.
Standing, Sy nervously straightened his tie and readjusted his suit jacket. He felt the entire table’s eyes on him as he crossed the room, moving around the outside of the open space that served as a dance floor. Sy considered a variety of opening lines but when he finally reached the counter, the cute bartender spoke first.
“What can I getcha? Shots, a beer, something sweet?”
Sy rarely drank anything other than beer but he wanted to keep her talking and a one word answer wouldn’t accomplish that.
“What do ya qualify as something sweet?”
The woman finally flashed that gorgeous smile at him, pushing a little pamphlet across the counter. “I can make all the classics or I have a few signature cocktails.”
Glancing through the menu, Sy hummed as if in deep contemplation. “I think I’ll stick to a beer but I wouldn’t say no to some other kind of sugar.”
The woman narrowed her eyes at him, attempting to conceal the smirk pulling at her lips.
“Isn’t the rule at these things that best man is supposed to go home with the maid of honor?”
“The maid of honor is happily married to one of the other groomsmen. And she’s also my sister.”
“Ah. Let me guess, your younger sister and her friends always lurked around you and your friends growin’ up until one day y’all came home from college and suddenly they were the ones who had your friends’ attention?”
Shooting an amused look at his brother-in-law over his shoulder, Sy realized he had six pairs of eyes watching him like he was some show animal.
“Yeah,” he admitted, turning his focus back to where it belonged, “that’s pretty much what happened with my sister but the groom only joined the group after our first deployment. He stayed, I went back. It’s probably also the reason why I am the only member of the wedding party who isn’t married.”
Subtle Sy. She opened her mouth to respond but a high-pitched voice cut off any words before they were formed.
“Uncle Sy, Uncle Sy!”
Sy spun, catching his god-daughter as she jumped into his arms and making a show of almost falling over. “Woah, princess! You’re growin’ so big, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to keep catchin’ ya.”
The little girl giggled, tugging playfully on Sy’s beard like she always did.
“Mama said I can have a juice or a fizzy drink!”
Sy looked at his sister who nodded in confirmation. He wouldn’t have put it past the sneaky five-year-old to tell a little white lie to manipulate her uncle.
“Well, which didja pick, juice or fizzy drink?”
“I want something pretty like Mamaw.”
He knew the ones. His mother was a big fan of those internet bartending videos and ordered drinks purely based on aesthetics. The problem was that most of those drinks got their color from the various alcohols mixed in.
“You know,” the woman chimed in with a warm smile towards his niece, “I have a menu here with lots of pretty drinks.” She pulled a second pamphlet from behind the counter, holding it out and leaning in conspiratorially as she stage-whispered, “I keep it hidden because it’s not for grown-ups.”
Sy locked eyes with the little girl in his arms and she grinned like the cat that got the canary, nodding furiously. Accepting the menu, Sy held it up for his niece to see.
“What do ya think, princess? The red one is real pretty.”
The red one was a Shirley Temple and seemed to be the one which was the least likely to give his god-daughter a sugar rush before bedtime, but she shook her head, instead pointing at the one below it. “I want this one!”
“Ooh, that’s one of my favorites too!” the woman declared.
So much for no sugar rush. There was a one hundred percent certainty that his sister would give him shit for his choice but he was not about to be the reason her daughter had a tantrum at her best friend’s wedding.
“The lady has spoken. We’ll have a Unicorn Waterfall, please.”
She got to work, rimming a glass with something purple then adding some bubblegum pink syrup and ice. On top of that, she placed a large chunk of blue and pink cotton candy and on the side, she filled a separate carafe with lemon-lime soda.
“Alright, sweetie, all that’s left is to pour the soda over the cotton candy. Do you think your Uncle Sy would help you do it?”
He didn’t miss the fact that she paid enough attention to remember his name.
“Oh! Please, please, please, Uncle Sy!”
“Sure, that sounds easy enough.”
Both glasses were pushed closer to him and Sy picked up the little carafe. His niece placed her tiny hand over his, eyes wide as he tipped the carafe and the clear liquid melted the cotton candy. The resulting drink was pink on the bottom and slowly transitioned to a deep purple without a trace of candy in sight.
His niece squealed and clapped, squirming so much Sy was afraid he might drop her for a moment.
“Okay, Hailey Mae, what do you say to Miss…” Sy paused, raising an eyebrow towards the woman of his dreams.
“Grace.”
“What do you say to Miss Grace?”
“Thank you, Miss Grace.”
“You’re very welcome, sweetie.”
With a grateful smile, Sy pushed the carafe back towards Grace and put his niece down on the floor. When he straightened, his beer was ready and waiting by his niece’s glass.
“I want to carry it, Uncle Sy.”
“Alright but two hands, okay?”
Hailey Mae tipped her chin, a look of stern concentration taking over her face as she carefully took the glass from Sy. It seemed Grace had thought ahead, making the drink in a plastic cup. The worst that could happen was a spill or a stain on the dress she would have outgrown by next month anyway. As much as Sy wanted to hang back and talk to the cute little lady who had just stolen his heart, he had to follow his niece to make sure no one accidentally bumped into her as she slowly waddled back to her mother.
To his great dismay, Sy was then immediately stolen away by his great aunt and wasn’t able to go back to the bar. Every time he broke away from one group of people, he was pulled into another mindless conversation.
Before he knew it, the evening was winding down, most of the guests had returned home and the wedding party retreated to their rooms at the hotel by the reception hall. Most of them lived less than an hour away, Sy being no exception, but the groom’s parents and siblings had come from out of town so the hotel stay had been a way of giving the newly joined families a little more time together before they all went home.
“She’s cleaning up, it’s now or never,” Sy’s brother-in-law said from behind him as he watched Grace wipe a metal shaker with a microfiber towel.
“To do what? Bring her up to my room?”
“I was going to say get her number but yours leads to sex tonight and mine means waiting until at least tomorrow.”
Sy just kept staring at her.
“You do remember how sex works right? You take that shrimp in your pants and you slip it in a woman’s—“
“I get it,” Sy growled. He did not want to hear whatever version of the birds and the bees he was about to spew.
“Good, now go get your bartender.”
Sy took a deep breath and made his way to the bar before he lost his nerve. He arrived just in time to see Grace heave a crate of liquor into her arms and immediately stumble backwards. Luckily, the fridge kept her upright and prevented her from causing a giant mess.
“Woah, ya need help with that?”
Grace gave him a relieved smile, managing to set the box on the counter.
“How is it that it feels heavier now than when I got here?”
“Maybe because you’ve been slingin’ drinks all night and you deserve a break,” he answered, picking up the box. “Where am I takin’ this?”
“My van is parked out back. We need to go through the service corridor.”
She picked up a case of syrups and moved towards a door in the corner of the room. Sy followed without question appreciating the view of her ass in that dress.
They crossed another large metal door and were greeted by the cool night air.
“This is me,” she said, setting her box down on the asphalt and digging her keys out of the bottom.
Once the van was opened, Sy set his case in the trunk then picked up the one she had carried and slid it in beside the first.
“You got anything else to bring out?”
“No, that’s all of it. The venue provided most of the equipment, this was all that was left of my stuff.”
This was it. Sy could either man up or never see this woman again.
“You know, it’s pretty late. Might not be such a good idea to drive anywhere tonight.”
“Is that so?” she asked, cocking her hip as Sy took a step forward.
“You could always come up to my suite. I could make ya a coffee or you could get a bit of rest before drivin’ back.”
“Your suite, huh? Are ya tryin’ to use your wealth to get laid?”
“No, I’m tryinʼ to use my friend’s wealth to get laid. But I’ll settle for usin’ my natural charm to get your number.”
An amused expression lit up her face at his honesty. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, smiling at the ground for a second before looking up at him from below her lashes.
“You’re right,” she said with an exaggerated fake yawn, “I’m really tired after workin’ all evenin’. It would be irresponsible of me to drive back tonight. I wouldn’t want to fall asleep behind the wheel and cause an accident.”
“No, ma’am it would not. And I’m all about bein’ responsible.”
The incessant ringing of the phone pulled Sy out of a deep sleep. It eventually stopped but the reprieve lasted for all of ten seconds. When it started for the third time, Sy muttered a curse under his breath and rolled over to the other side of the bed to pick up the receiver.
“What?” he barked.
“Damn.” It was his friend Mack’s lazy drawl coming from the other end of the line. “I was sure that you bein’ late to breakfast meant you’d gotten some last night but that tone tells me different.”
“Well fuck you too. I’ll be right there.”
He slammed the phone down and stretched out with a groan. Only then did he realize that he’d just rolled from one side of the king bed to the other completely unobstructed.
Sy sat up, taking stock of his surroundings. His suit was hung neatly in the closet when he was sure he’d thrown it haphazardly over the chair. Or near the chair. He was butt naked, which, had he been home, would not have been strange, but he didn’t make a habit of free-balling it on strange sheets.
On the up side, the evidence suggested he hadn’t hallucinated his night with the sexy bartender. On the down side, Grace had snuck out without so much as a goodbye.
There was no time to sulk, however, because he was expected downstairs with all of his nearest and dearest. When he stepped into the restaurant, he had approximately a five second warning before his favorite princess was in his arms.
“Uncle Sy, you’re late!”
“I’m sorry, kiddo,” he carried her to the only two empty chairs, settling her on her booster seat. “I forgot to plug my phone before goin’ to sleep so I didn’t have any alarm to wake me up.”
“Forgot or passed out with it in your hand and a fresh load coolin’ on your chest?”
His sister kicked Mack under the table but his niece didn’t hear a word. She’d already picked up a purple crayon and set about drawing a unicorn on the paper place setting.
“It’s okay, Uncle Sy, I forgive you.”
“Well thank you, little lady, that’s mighty gracious of ya.”
For the next two hours, Sy did his best to put Grace out of his head and focus on the people around him. He still made a mental map of the room, the exits and the position of all the guests around the table but, without the loud music, he wasn’t nearly as on edge as he had been the night before. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t haul ass back to the relative peace of his room once the meal was over.
After being constantly on guard for sixteen straight hours the day before and only getting a few hours of sleep, he was ready to get back home to Aika and give his mind a rest in familiar surroundings.
Once he finished packing up his things, Sy moved to the nightstand to retrieve his cellphone. He hadn’t been lying about forgetting to plug it in the night before. When the device turned on again, there were a dozen missed calls and texts from his friends trying to reach him before breakfast.
Dismissing all the notifications, Sy slipped the phone in his pocket and reached down behind the nightstand. He’d been trying to retrieve his charger, only his hand brushed something else instead.
As it turned out, the something in question was one of those notepads that hotels left by the phone. And that notepad had the sweetest words Sy had ever read.
Had to get the van back for an early job. I hope that won’t keep you from calling. Grace xxx
And there below her name, were the ten most perfect digits in the world.
#captain syverson#captain syverson fic#captain syverson fanfiction#captain syverson fanfic#cpt syverson#cpt syverson fic#cpt syverson fanfiction#henry cavill
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(Weapon X 2017, issues #7 + #18)
parallel i just noticed..hes not saying that to logan in a mocking way, hes just repeating the mantra he says to himself in order to survive.
god i fucking love this series. like. theyre foils, why tf wouldnt vic also have the ‘im the best at what i do’ thing too?
for logan, he doesnt really understand what it is he does best. like he kinda does, the ‘not very nice’ stuff, but he questions if thats really what his ‘best’ is meant to be. its just what everyone else sees as his best.
for vic, hes always seen the not very nice stuff as his best. and he craves for other people to see how good he is at it. he knows thats what people see him as, and yet, he’d rather have praise for it. if hes gonna be seen as bad no matter what, he might as well strive be better than everyone else at it.
he doesnt consider what other things he could be the best at.
in issue 18, even after getting to the top, he still feels doubts about himself….
but by the end of the issue, after saving n helping out omega red, he realizes what hes really the best at-
its similar to logans realization when he first joined the xmen, except hes already got the confidence from the start, while logan has to fight to believe it. from this moment on in the series, its like a switch finally flipped in his brain, properly seeing his ‘inverted’ arc for what it is. even tho he’s been fighting to show he could be the good guy, he never really fully let himself mentally step into that territory till now.
and logans the only person during his entire arc to see him that way(have i mentioned that? i feel like ive said that a million times)
(Weapon X 2017, issue #21)
#sabretooth#victor creed#wolverine#logan howlett#they shouldve called this series Sabretooth or Sabretooth: Weapon X or some shit#THIS IS THE MFING SABRETOOTH SHOW!!!!!!!!!!#and it shouldve continued for at least 50 issues#i will literally post this whole series panel by panel at somepoint onto my blog
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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.
#i think one thing i really didn't prepare for w overnights is just how fucking lonely it is. like yeah 80% of the reason i took it was to#get away from customers but like. it worked. and the night shift team is v v small. there's only 4 of us and we've never been scheduled all#at once yet. and usually we're running around on completely opposite ends of the building going long periods of time without#radioing each other. and then i come home all amped up and the rest of my house is still asleep. and then when they wake up#it's just to get ready and go and we don't really have time to talk. and by the time they get back i'm sleeping#and it's my first night off and i can't fuck up my whole schedule i worked so hard to switch over to w them flipping me all over the place#so now i'm just like. sitting in the half light trying not to wake anybody up not doing anything. the only places near us open are#gas stations and i can't exactly loiter there and what would i do even if i could. and it's too cold to go for a walk or to the park#or something. and i feel like i haven't talked to another human being about something that wasn't related to work in years#and it's only been a week.#and we can listen to music or podcasts or something but our carts and machines are so loud you miss half of it. and we can't hold#super long conversations when we ARE in the same room for the same reasons. plus we all want to die so none of us feel like talking.#and just. im tired and lonely and want to sleep and im already regretting this but i'd feel bad for backing out now when they have so#few options and i volunteered for it in the first place#and then there's also like. even just doing my usual solitary thing at home feels so much more isolated bc there's not the noises#of other people existing nearby. the nearest signs of life are some coughing and then a car on the other side of the block#just. what am i even doing here.#tag ramble
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I think I’ve been horribly burned out for the past year ahaha
#Let’s be real: I‘ve been burned out since fifth grade… but it’s worse now than it ever was#I wake up at around 10:00 or 11:00 and loiter in my room until 2:00 and by that time it feels like I failed to start my day#and like everything is a waste so I do nothing#Can’t use the bathroom without interviewing myself in the mirror and whispering for hours on end#so I’m dehydrated from whispering#and for some reason I’m afraid to engage in all my hobbies#Tumblr isn’t a hobby#Reddit isn’t a hobby#They’re time killers#I don’t write whump on here anymore and I feel like a fraud keeping my username as it is#The only time I ever do things is when it’s for other people#and when I do things for other people it’s like a switch gets flipped and I instantly want to give them everything I have#because I won’t feel like I deserve the things I want to do for myself so I’m serially codependent apparently#and when I do try to help people; my best never ends up being enough and only exacerbates the situation#and everyone wants more from me than I can give#I just want one thing I do for someone to work right the first time and end cleanly so I can get some fucking satisfaction#And if I think it’s working smoothly; I never have proof that it came to fruition because I can’t read people’s minds#“There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving” my ASS#I don’t like receiving either… it’s uncomfortable#besides I don’t want anything that can be given to me; I want freedom and peace of mind and thunderstorms#that’s it#I will be happy if I can have freedom and peace of mind and thunderstorms
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im reading a lot of research about the mycorrhizal network because this is a HUGE emerging area of research and there is so much new stuff coming out its sooooo neat
So basically "the mycorrhizal network is how trees send each other nutrients and help each other" is wrong,
but the main reason people were mad at it—because they thought everything in the ecosystem is selfish and competitive acting for its own interests—is much wronger.
How come?
Well...fungi aren't just a postal service for trees. They have lives of their own! Plants aren't just controlling the mycorrhizal network to send nutrients where they want, they are communicating with the fungus and negotiating the terms of that relationship.
The genetic basis in plants for forming the mycorrhizal symbiosis is old. REALLY old. Like, "before plants even came onto land" OLD. Other forms of symbiosis, like what legumes have going on with the Rhizobia, are using the same genes to do their thing. There's a LOT of genes involved with creating the symbiosis, including some redundancies just to be safe, and we're only just now starting to understand them.
Why so many genes? What are all these genes for? Everything! Communication chemicals, hormones the other partner will respond to, flipping switches in the other partner's genes. There was a lot of arguing over which partner, the plant or the fungus, was "controlling" the partnership, but this question turned out to be total nonsense. Both symbionts have to recognize each other, respond to each other, prepare for symbiosis by adjusting how their genes are expressed, form the symbiosis, and continuously negotiate the relationship by exchanging chemical signals. Both can actively select the partner that offers the best benefits. There's even experiments where it's been shown that if the fungus turns parasitic, the plant will start secreting fungicidal chemicals. (But also the mutualist fungi in the experiment outcompeted the parasitic one when the pots were seeded with both.)
Mycorrhizal symbiosis is an incredibly intimate relationship. Like, the fungus produces special organs that literally grow inside the plant's cells, and the plant is actively participating in allowing this to happen. The plants and fungi have genes for hormones used by the other species, they have soooooo much stuff encoded in their DNA for interacting with their symbionts, it's like, blurring the lines for whether they're even separate organisms. There are SO many chemicals involved in communication between them and we only understand a few of those chemicals.
This is SO MUCH COOLER than if the plants were just using the fungus as a passive conduit to communicate with and support each other. The fungus is actively participating!
We were fools and assumed there had to be one partner that was "in control," but both plant AND fungus have to initiate and to some extent they're each engaging on their own terms! Or maybe it's better to think of them as one and the same organism?
We're also finding out that there's a lot more types of mycorrhizal symbiosis than we thought (at least five) and a lot more variety in how it works.
And that's not even getting into fungal endosymbionts—fungi that live inside plant cells completely instead of having part of them be outside and in the soil. They aren't considered mycorrhizae because they're fully inside the plant cells and not connected with any soil fungi network but they do a lot of complicated things we don't understand and interact with the plant's other symbionts.
Fungal endosymbionts produce a lot of chemicals that are useful to the plants in some way, and it turns out, that a lot of them kill cancer. Seriously, we've gotten a LOT of anti-cancer drugs from these guys. I think it's because they have to bypass the plant's immune system, but they also fight each other/other little guys that get inside plant cells, so they kind of...are part of the plant's immune system?
And what's MORE
Is that plants and fungus aren't the only things part of this system! There's also bacteria that are symbiotic with the plants and fungi! Even the endosymbiont fungi have bacteria that are endosymbionts inside THEM. Double endosymbiosis.
I think I read one paper saying the bacteria use the fungi to get around? Like that's how Rhizobia find their way to the legume roots in the first place? Have to double check that one
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🙇♂️ svt when you get jealous.
anon → "Could I request SVT reaction to you being jealous? 👀?"
⌗ ┆love a flip of a good trope d(・∀・○) pls note that the ff. members feature manips/edits, so credits go to the rightful owners: jeonghan, joshua, soonyoung, wonwoo
‧₊˚✩彡 includes: f!reader, established relationship, pet names, jealousy 🤭, fluff/crack/etc., [short] headcanons under the cut.
🙇♂️ headcanons .ᐟ
— "oh, boy, here we go again" ✩ junhui, wonwoo, mingyu, seungkwan, chan.
anyone dating junhui or mingyu have got to be god's strongest soldiers. both boys would be a little exasperated at your jealousy but they also react to it in their own ways. junhui, for his part, will always crack in the end. he may goad you about all his romance scenes but he's quick to switch up when he thinks he's gone too far. mingyu, on the other hand, focuses on making you realize how ridiculous you are for the (mostly) unfounded jealousy. when that doesn't work, he'll try to distract you with something else. it's not often that you get jealous if you're dating wonwoo— if anything, you might be envious about all the time he spends on his games. when it comes to people, though? he's not about to tolerate you thinking that way. he'll shoot you down quicker than any other member does with his. no pickup lines or pleasantries, here; just the straight truth. seungkwan's reassurances are just a little more on the teasing side but they're never any less sincere. he's the type to be very conscious about not giving you a reason to be jealous in the first place. meanwhile, chan may sometimes be a little more on the clueless side, though he'll always get there eventually. does he joke around about it? most definitely. will he be on your doorstep to pick a (playful) about your jealousy until you can do nothing but succumb to his charm? also yes.
— "so help me, god" ✩ jeonghan, soonyoung, jihoon, vernon.
jihoon would be at an absolute loss™️ in the face of your jealousy. it's a rare thing, for you to be envious of anything outside of the time he spends on work, so he will try to tread lightly. the way he fumbles about attempting to reassure you is endearing enough for you to forget what you were so upset about in the first place. jeonghan is one of the rare ones who would try to incite your jealousy; what can he say? he likes poking the bear sometimes. but he's also the image of someone who can dish it but can't take it. if he's met with your petulance, he'll fall on his knees in any/all attempt to get back in your good graces. soonyoung's plenty oblivious when it comes to what might make you jealous. you can expect him to pull out the pout and puppy dog eyes when trying to convince you not to be upset. and, oh– vernon is oblivious to the point where it's almost painful. he won't get that someone's into him until you point it out. when you do, though, he'll do everything in his power to allay your concerns.
— "you're the only one" ✩ seungcheol, joshua, seokmin, minghao.
minghao comes from a family where his parents only have eyes for each other, so it makes sense for him to also be the same. reassurance comes easy for him; he'll never joke about your feelings and he'll talk you through it, even. at any given chance, he makes it abundantly clear that he's spoken for. there's no hiding from joshua, either. he's too perceptive for his own good and he'll know if you're jealous, even if you try to hide it. he never blames you for how you're feeling and his focus is on how he can avoid making you feel that way on the future. seungcheol is the type who'd be a little endeared, even, that you get jealous. he likes it if his partner is a little possessive and territorial. you can tell that he's smug about it, though ultimately he'll play in to your little charade. seokmin, on the flipside, is a big believer of nipping things in the bud. if he thinks anything might make you jealous, he's already keeping you from overthinking before it can start. he's not going to have you questioning yourself; not on his watch.
#svt smau#seventeen smau#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#── ᵎᵎ ✦ reqs#── ᵎᵎ ✦ mine#[ THE WAY I REALLY COULDN'T FIND ANYTH FOR VERNON ]#[ this was photo heavy. so it took Time. but soooo fun ]
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UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.
1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.
2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.
So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.
Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.
He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.
Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.
Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.
I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.
He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.
I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.
OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.
Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world
PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox
Original post
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me, an hour ago: "fuck, the stove is on! what do we do?" [immediately does all the wrong things]
PSA: What NOT to do when you smell gas
In this situation, we got home to a smell of gas throughout the house and discovered our gas stove was on without a flame. it was only a tiny stream, and everything turned out fine, but here's a brief list of everything we did wrong:
NOTE: this is for if you smell significant amounts of gas, not a blanket list for all possible gas situations. (If you aren't aware, the methane**/natural gas used in houses smells vaguely like sulfer, or rotten eggs - this is an additive, since it has no natural smell. It's a very recognizable smell, once you've smelled it once. It's not the same smell as gasoline.)
1. If your stove has an electrical/spark ignition, do NOT turn it off.
Spark ignitions often spark when turning on *and* off. Spark + Gas = Boom. Boom is bad. Avoid boom.
Instead, turn off the gas at the source, i.e. the physical valve at the meter. There may be a smaller valve near the stove. If you don't know where the shutoff is, the fire department will find it.
2. Do NOT turn on (or off) vents or fans.
In fact, don't flip any electrical switches - that includes lights, plugging in or unplugging appliances, etc. These cause sparks. Spark + Gas = Boom.
Also, don't start your car. obviously.
3. Do NOT open windows
counterintuitive, I know. This is mostly because you want to prioritize your exit, but it's also to keep the fumes from spreading outside, where you should be waiting for the ~professionals~ to come handle it.
4. DO take all people and pets outside.
Do this very first!! (one thing we actually did right - go us!)
This is obviously because you don't want to go boom, but you also don't want to suffocate. Gas is poison!
NOTE: the gas from your stove is probably methane (natural gas); carbon monoxide is what you get when methane burns, which is why your kitchen needs to be well-ventilated and the stove shouldn't be left burning for long periods of time, but the natural gas itself is *also* potentially deadly. Carbon monoxide detectors dont detect natural gas, so that's what the odorous additive is for.
Inhaling natural gas causes nausea, headaches, dizziness, and makes you just generally woozy, and eventually causes you to lose consciousness and potentially suffocate, just like carbon monoxide does. We don't want that.
5. DO call the fire department/emergency line
They'll check for other leaks, shut gas off if needed, then test for air quality and eventually clear your house for reentry. It takes like 1-2 hours for the gas to dissipate, generally.
Yay, you survived! Congrats!!
NOTE: if you find the stove has been left on with a flame, or it's on with no flame but you don't smell gas, then you should be safe to just open windows and turn on vents and fans to air it out.
idk, this was actually pretty scary, especially when we realized how much of our immediate response was wrong and could have turned a dangerous situation into a real disaster.
tl;dr: If you smell gas when you shouldn't be smelling gas, just get all the people and animals outside, shut off the gas line, and call the fire department or gas company. don't fuck around with gas. you're not overreacting, you're taking the proper safety measures.
**CORRECTED FROM ORIGINAL VERSION. Original said propane, but it's very much not propane, it's methane. too much Hank Hill on the brain, clearly.
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ꔫHow to Voluntarily Age Regress
ꔫHi all! I wanted to post this, but I can't call it as much a "guide" as I usually would, since it is purely my anecdotal experience!
ꔫNonetheless, I hope this is helpful to you in your endeavors!
ꔫTypically, when I am trying to regress, I start with age dreaming! This comes with a number of things, maybe it's:
Watching cartoons or another piece of media that I find comforting or that I've found puts me in the space
Coloring a picture or doing worksheets
Babytalking with my cgs, babysitters or other in-community friends
^Asking my cgs/babysitters to care for me as if I am already regressed
^^Generally interacting with other littles or friends I find comforting
Scrolling agere tags on here or ingesting other agere content
Using little gear like pacis, bottles, etc.
Playing with toys or playing video games that I've found put me in the space
Listening to a playlist that one of my cgs made me
Writing agere headcanons or making content of my ocs who regress
Daydreaming about agere outings, playdates, etc.
Going shopping and looking at toys
Cuddling, holding hands, getting my hair pet, etc.
ꔫThis is just a short list of things I've put together, there's a lot more that could be done, especially since it's extremely individual! This is just what works for me!
ꔫFrom there, I try to maintain this comforting and safe space by not taking on any work/responsibilities or really anything else not suitable for my small age.
ꔫAnd, it’s not like it’s a 100% success rate either! Sometimes, I’m just not feeling it; sometimes, I just continue age dreaming for the rest of the night! For me, you can’t really force it — it’s okay if it does happen, it’s okay if it doesn’t!
ꔫSome other helpful things:
I find it much easier to slip when I’m tired.
You might feel kinda silly being big and trying to do your small things, but that’s okay!
It’s not just a switch one can flip, so don’t be frustrated if it doesn’t come easily!
It’s different for everyone — for some people it comes really easily, for some people not so easily. Some people need to do a specific set of things and have a specific set of conditions to regress. Going further:
Not everyone can voluntarily regress, and that’s okay, but there’s no harm in trying it out!
ꔫWhile this isn’t as educational as my other posts, I still hope that you are able to find it helpful!
#agere#agere blog#agere community#age regression#age regressor#sfw agere#sfw age regression#age dreaming#sfw agere blog#sfw interaction only#regal rosebuds
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hii!! I saw you write for homicipher so i was wondering if you could write some dark/yandere sfw & nsfw headcanons for mr scarletella 🥹 thank you so much & take ur time!!
MR. SCARLETELLA HC {N/SFW}
a Mr. Scarletella {homicipher} x reader n/sfw hc list.
{thank you for your support and nice words! :3}
warnings! : stalking, non-con, dub-con, hardcore, marking, slight gore, rough sex, violence, rough fingering, biting, cunnilingus, blowjobs, smut, murder mention, somno
{an : i didnt quite get what you meant when you said "dark" so hopefully this is what you meant. this is really hardcore. to the soft hearted people and people who cant handle ACTUAL freaky stuff, i wouldnt recommend reading this. there is a small section underneath the regular nsfw hc with a cw on it, so if you cant handle certain topics, there is still an nsfw section without it. he is my favorite character from homicipher ommggg hes so hot. id give him my name HAPPILY.}
SFW HC
sfw relationship/meeting him hcs
when you first meet him alone, he is very unexpected. his presence and constant facial expression is unnerving to say the least, but as long as you can manage that you will be fine.
if you end up "accepting" him, the relationship would be very weird.
he would be a wonderful partner despite the obvious other reasons, but dont think he wont be watching you constantly.
he will bring you daily gifts, consisting of anything he can find that he thinks you will like.
as for touch, he will let you touch him. usually he wouldnt let anyone even accidentally touch him, as he would teleport away, but one you are in a relationship with him, most boundaries he had before are gone.
he is rather fond of holding you. whether that be in his coat {for some reason} or just in general.
in Japanese culture {from my research, i am NOT Japanese!!} holding an umbrella with someone is a sign of love and acceptance. therefore he always likes you to hold it with him.
he isnt one of those "down-lo" kind of people. he makes it known everywhere that you are his.
he will do whatever it takes to please you. you are literally his princess/prince. even if that includes killing someone {he does it anyways}
if he catches anyone staring at you, or even remotely close to you, he will either teleport you away {if you are friends with the person} or kill them on the spot.
no matter how much he seems to be emotionless, anything involving you in pain or discomfort, it will flip a switch in him.
he has to be near you always. whether you know it or not, he will be there.
he hasnt quite grasped the concept of kissing or "romantic" things, but whatever you do he goes along with it. he rather enjoys hand holding or pressing his face into your neck.
he is the delulu type {this whole fandom knows it} and anything you do he will take as flirting. dont deny it though, hes too obsessed to care
he has a big thing for the height difference. he is a little over 8 feet tall, and feels a need to protect you at any cost.
any cost.
NSFW HC
what its like to have sex with him.
starting off, this man is a BEAST during sex.
he is a quick learner, and whether he is using his hands, mouth, or any part of his body, he will find those spots that makes you squirm.
one of his favorite things is you riding his thigh in public. say he was talking with Mr. Silvair, and happened to be sitting down. he would want you on his thigh "discreetly" getting off. bonus points if you cum.
he wouldnt be opposed to a threesome, but he has to trust the other person. a rare occasion.
anything you want to do, he will immediately comply. need him to go down on you? hes on his knees. even in public. need his fingers inside of you? absolutely. need his dick? against the wall you go.
he has a big dick, and luckily he knows it. he wont force everything inside at first, but eventually he will. you can take it. he thinks
he loves your body, and he makes sure you know it. even in his strange language, you can understand the things he is saying because he is touching you while he is doing it.
he makes little to no noise during sex, but not because he isnt enjoying it. he LOVES sex with you, but he prefers to listen to your noises. he would have it on repeat if he could.
you could look like anything and he would still find you to be the most attractive person on earth {or his earth, whatever}
for afab, he isnt one of those guys who has a hard time finding your clit. in fact, he doesnt even have to look. immediately his fingers will be circling that little nub that he loves so much.
he is a very dominating person, but it probably wouldnt be hard for him to let you dominate him. i say let because in no situation do you actually have control.
his fingering sessions are borderline violent, the pads of his fingers hitting that perfect spot with every curl.
cw! its about to get very dark and possibly triggering! viewer discretion is advised!
if you are one of those people who get off on your man killing for you, then he is the man. he will torture people in front of you as you touch yourself.
his sex isnt even borderline violent, it IS violent. if hes angry especially, he doesnt care if he hurts you.
afab, he will bruise your cervix and make you bleed. his tip hits so hard with his brutal thrusts that you will.
on certain occasions, {tw!!!} he will force himself on you. while it is rare, r...pe can happen, so be careful and dont piss him off.
he doesnt need sleep, so if hes horny enough then he will fuck you while you're sleeping. if you explicitly ask him not to, then he will just jerk himself off over your sleeping form.
dont expect to walk away from a rough fucking WITHOUT marks all over you. he makes it a mission to bite, claw, tear, any part he can. he wants you covered in blood, it gets him off faster.
will probably brand you with something
if you have a trauma kink he WILL use it to his advantage.
thats all bye bye!!! :3
{ made by @whokilledsamara }
#smut#afab reader#amab reader#mr. scarletella x you#mr. scarletella x y/n#mr. scarletella#cnc somno#mr. scarletella x reader#homicipher#homicipher x reader#dead dove do not eat
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How do you feel about Milsiril? Like what do you think of her interactions between the canaries, her goals, her intentions and morality? I keep seeing people with mixed feelings about her, some saying she's just toxic or morally grey or doing bad but with good intentions or that she's just a mentally ill and literally so much more, also with the comic about Otta calling Milsiril love for her children/Kabru as just love for a pet, I always saw people take it at face value and say yes, Milsiril did love them more as pets instead of children, did she take up raising/adopting non-elf children because she felt like none of them could ridicule her like the elves did because they didn't know what an elf was supposed to be like (and also because they were children) or did she inherently view them as less? I mean the canaries and I'm pretty sure almost all of the cast in dungeon meshi have some sort perspective on different races especially because how they were taught about them, i just think it was interesting to finally see someone interpret it as Otta just misinterpreting Milsiril, I'm just really interested in her, i think shes neat, sorry for the rant!
Ooh, well to preface this, I hadn't really realized Milsiril was such a controversial character before my last post, I kinda live under a rock. She's really not a character I had given much thought besides what I wrote there before it, but I can do my best to express what I have thought since, with sources for it. I'm not sure what order to go thru so I'll just go by manga appearances and then extras, this will probably be quite a long post
This is the first time she shows up in the manga (ch55) Kabru is wondering about what future they might have if the elves take them into custody because of the ancient magic, he thinks about Milsiril as a get out of jail card, and mentions "There's a chance they would make us become permanent resident of the elven lands." with the image of Milsiril holding him. I don't think that means she would be the one to not let them leave, since this would probably be an legal issue, and the fact Milsiril lives away from other Elves. It does set up that Milsiril is quite overprotective tho, with Kabru's reaction to her teary hug. (rest is under a cut)
The next time she shows up is in ch61 right after Kabru falls down the dungeon along with Mithrun, he faints and has this flashback
She's being her overbearing self treating Kabru's small injury as if its something you need to be in bed for, hand feeding him like he's a toddler, and when he insists he wants to learn how to fight and be strong like her, she hugs him revealing to us for the first time her arm scars, she's cleary in distress too, so you wonder "what has happened to her?"
It continues in the next pages, as she tells him to stay there, where it's safe and there's cake, and describes the bad things he might encounter. Until he tells her he will go with or without her help
Honestly this is a Kabru we don't see often, this is the version of him that is usually in thought bubbles, he's blowing out in frustation over being smothered and demanding straight up what he wants, instead of trying to manipulate Milsiril, very blunt for him. Milsiril seems to flip a switch into battle mode, when she decides to train him for real.
I really thought this was funny, the visual of these cuddly toys and this Mom that was being so soft just a second ago completely flipping into something menacing is very amusing to me. She says "I'll give you an exhaustive, thorough training in how to use a sword... until you finally decide that you're ready to give up." although it sounds cruel, it seems she really trained him as best she could to make sure he would survive the dungeon. If he couldn't take the training with her there was no way he would be able to take on the dungeon, but he could, so much so that he managed to make her let him go. I can see this being seen as her trying to prevent him from going but to me it seems more like some tough love from a traumatized war veteran in this case.
The last thoughts he has is admitting his Mom was right, "Not only were there plenty of traps, monsters, and malice... but there were times when I felt so hungry and cold that I couldn't stand it."
And he concludes with "I never once thought that I wanted to go back there. That room where I could eat all the cake that I wanted..." While I can understand the interpretation that he means he would rather go thru all this than go back, perhaps cause he hated it there, I think it's rather a statement to how committed he is to defeating the dungeon, the visuals show him in rubble vs him in a soft big bed, the rough reality he fought to be able to face and the comfyness of what his life could be. Plus is mirroring exactly what Milsiril said to him. Admitting she was right about the bad things but that he won't give up for the safe easy life he had.
After that visuals of Milsiril are used while Kabru tries to sus out Mithrun but she shows up again in Mithrun's backstory.
Here she's straight up called Gloomy, which wasn't really the version of her we saw so far, gotta remember this is also how Mithrun saw her and that she was called gloomy as a way of bullying. Kabru mostly cuts off her part in the story until the end, when she's the one to find Mithrun after he was eaten by the demon
She doesn't really care much for Mithrun as we see in some extras, and she was ready to mercy kill him, but she is also the one to spare his life. This could be seen as her thinking he can still be of use, and it's how it sounds with how Kabru tells the story, but I do think this was also a merciful act, Mithrun was in rehabilitation for 20 years after being saved, by the time he was actually useful for anything Milsiril had already left the canaries and adopted Kabru.
Now for extras... About Mithrun/The Canaries, Milsiril was cleary someone that hated the people around her. This is her extra in the Adventurer's Bible
Milsiril seems to be the type that hates "popular kids" so to say, her description says she was bullied by other elves for being so introverted so I believe she holds a grudge against people like Mithrun that seem to have succeeded where she failed. But realizing he was a twisted person like her seemed to make her feel more sympathetic towards him, that's why I think she really did act with mercy when she saves Mithrun, he's now someone she sees as similar to her, she sees he also suffered like her
Her decription also mentions she left the canaries specifically because she was disgusted with how the Utaya situation was dealt with. Yet it seems like she came back to help Mithrun with his rehabilitation once she quits.
There's an interpretation to be made that she did this only to get "revenge" on the demon since she just saw the destruction of Utaya, and that she's using him. On the other hand maybe she wants to help him find a motivation to live, she's no longer a canary and she has time to actually help him now. I don't know which one is the truth but it's not obviously something self-serving if you ask me. Especially in the context that right before this scene Milsiril admits she wishes they could have talked before.
My interpretation of her relationship with the canaries and other elves is that she's someone depressed that was mistreat for her 'quirky' side, the dolls are clearly one of the ways she used to cope with anxiety/depression but it only caused her to be bullied by her own kin, she's the daughter of an important family and it's shown in other extras, including one about Mithrun, that nobles often send out the kids they don't want around to become canaries. It's an easy way to get rid of someone undesirable and I think it was the case for Milsiril. (Pattadol even assumes her parents love her less than her sisters for sending her to join the canaries).
No wonder than that now that she's finally free from the canaries she chose to seek her own happiness away from the society she felt she could never fit into, she clearly likes to take care of children too, I think it's mean to assume she only likes them because she feels superior to them when there's no indication that this is the case.
And I don't think it's a coincidence she's so overprotective of Kabru after Utaya, it's literally the tragedy that was the breaking point for her, and he's a surviving small child from that tragedy, Milsiril cares about Kabru and wanted him to have a comfortable safe life after everything he went thru...
This ended up getting way too long so I'll make second part tomorrow about the rest of the extras and Kabru, and some other things I've seen said about Milsiril, but to answer the questions...
I don't think she treats her children as pets, Otta is just salty she was called out for dating like Leo Dicaprio.
Every single dungeon meshi character can be called morally grey because they all have flaws that in our world can be considered unforgivable, but they don't live in our world. To me Milsiril is doing her best in the context she lives in.
Who even is neurotypical in dungeon meshi, Milsiril is yet another flavour of a neurodivergent traumatized character among so many.
I believe she thought of the other canaries, especially Mithrun, as the same type of people that were cruel to her, probably because some of them really were, but that she generalized it to the point she thinks of all of them as bad by default. You can only get hurt so many times before you assume everyone will hurt you.
Part 2
#dungeon meshi#adventurers bible#this is REALLY long because I dont know how to say things#and I want people to make their own interpretations of this...#Milsiril#Ask#Long post#longpost#Part 1 of 2#Edit: I went back and rewrote some stuff I thought were written in a confusing way#I keep repeating this in tags but I really am bad at writting I say things in a weird order using strange words sometimes#If you ever dont understand something I said please ask#dunmeshi thoughts#character ask
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to me - jb blurb
quick sum: family reunions aren’t easy especially when you and your clingy bf have been far apart the entire evening. but hey what’s wrong with a few forbidden kisses…
“jude? you in here?” you whispered loudly careful to be sure if anyone behind the door wasn’t asleep or busy. “i’m here,” jude opened the door a small and tired smile in his lips when he saw you. you let out a sigh of relief, throwing yourself almost immediately to him, jude chuckling but not holding back from hugging you tight.
his eyes closed and now happier, the familiar fancy scent invading his senses and knowing he was at peace. the bad mood he was in disappearing almost immediately when you tugged on his shirt, a sign to him that all you wanted was this. to be held. to be loved. to makeup for the past few hours.
“i tried to get away as soon as possible but my aunt just kept pushing and asking for more and more help,” you say muffled. if there’s was one thing about you, it was how much of a people pleaser you were, wanting to make sure people were content and satisfied even if you didn’t feel at your very best.
“we just finished the cupcakes and cut up all the fruit. i saved you some so you we can make a smoothie tomorrow. we still have so much to pack and decorate but i had to see you jude,” you continued.
this reunion was planned last minute as you were celebrating your parents anniversary all together by the shore. you brought jude along knowing you had little time before he returned back to international duty. though what you didn’t expect was to be far from the each other and ordered to sleep in separate rooms. not being able to share a single glance unless you crossed paths in a hall or room.
it was all unfair. especially to jude because of how attached he was to you. no one had to tell him, he knew himself and he didn’t mind one bit. so you being here now, even if it meant for five minutes, it was a maddening drive.
“y/n,”
“hmm?” you replied tiredly, your hand sneaking up all the way up his spine to resting it on his neck, thumb brushing along his skin softly. “please don’t leave me again… just stay here and we can enjoy the rest of the night here,” jude begged, lifting you up effortlessly and bringing you to the bed.
“i wish i could handsome but there’s so much that needs to be done before we can all finally rest,” you cuddle into his embrace, your nose tracing his now soft jaw where he recently shaved, pressing a kiss onto the corner of his mouth. “and you know how my family feels about us staying together,” you pout.
“yet your family doesn’t know what we do back home,” jude said smugly where you gasped and hit his chest. “stop it!” you warned getting shy and nervous. “they’re not here, and they don’t know what their sweet innocent y/n is like when she’s with me, hmm,” jude cocked his head to the side, tracing a small stand of your hair as you kept shaking your head. almost in denial yourself.
“and they won’t ever know,” you say, feeling jude’s hand rest just below your bum, then grabbing your free hand and giving your knuckles sweet and gentle kisses that made you swoon. you’d never complain or get tired of this. how affectionate, how adorned, how loving he was behind closed doors. with you and only you.
jude often got told how quiet and reserved he was. how angry and impatient he was on the field. or how his quick tempered was easily seen. but with you? it’s like a flip of a switch. a happy jude who was cling to his girlfriend and never wanted to let go or leave.
“yet you’re here, do they know that?”
“no…”
“good, because all i want,” jude got up bringing you to his lap where you giggled and shushed him as the bed creaked. “all i want is to take care of my girl,” he brushed his hand over your cheek, “and be hidden away in here with her,” he pressed a small kiss on your lips. hearing you intake a small breath of hesitation yet yearning for more.
“i can’t get over the fact i get to call you mine,” jude relished biting his bottom lip as his hand dragged your sides and traced down to your hips. “that i’m lucky enough to have you in my life,” he stared into your eyes then looked down at your necklace with his initial. “that i get to be with your forever and ever,” jude said cheekily before giving you another kiss to test the waters.
you frown leaning in for another but jude pulls back. having to resist or else then yoor whole family will know where you’re at, and what you’re doing behind the closed door that’s meant to be opened. “if i continue kissing you i won’t be able to stop baby,” jude said heavily, “i don’t trust myself especially when you look so breathtaking i’m this summer dress.”
“one more jude,” you asked, shifting closer to him, jude closing your eyes but giving in because he knew he couldn’t deny you anything. if you wanted something, you got exactly that. and if in this moment you wanted a kiss that meant and lasted a lifetime, he’d grant you that despite the restrictions he made.
he kissed you softly, relishing the playful and softness from you before he managed to lift and set your back onto the mattress. now on top of you where he controlled, soft licks that turned into a teeth clashing makeup session, with heavy breathing, groans and tiny whimpers that escaped your lips.
“if your family comes looking and they find you like this?” he taunted, feeling as you squeezed and pressed his pelvis down onto you. “in this small room with your boyfriend?” his lips pressed onto your pulse point giving you wet kisses before blowing air, making you shiver in pleasure and anticipation. your nerves on fire as you knew what would happened.
“then they’ll have to deal with because i want you. forever.”
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Check Yes (to go on a date with a dead guy)
Chapter 1
The expectant smiles froze on his siblings’ faces.
Jason blinked, still shaking off the disorientation of the green twisting blur that always came when he took his turn with tHe RitUaL. “What?” he said. It came out defensive. Usually they were all laughing by this point.
Dick reached out and took the post-it off his forehead. “We may have misunderstood this sacrificial thing.” He frowned at the note.
Jason tore it away and flipped it around to read it.
“...Please stop the bridal sacrifices,” he read, voice instantly trembling with the need to laugh. Holy shit. “Proposal is kinda forward. But if you really want, I’d totally go on a date with you. Check yes or no. Danny.” There were two smiley faces after the name and a scribbled drawing of a human looking guy with tall hair.
The batcave was in total, mortified silence. The ritual that had become their pre-patrol goof-off activity of choice had maybe… maybe been a mistake?
“I’m kinda hurt,” Dick broke the silence. “I’m marriageable. I’m a catch, even.” He was joking, but Jason was pretty sure that it wasn’t totally baseless. Who would look at Dick and then choose Jason, of all the people?
Stephanie snorted. “It’s probably your reputation as Ritchie Rich,” she soothed. “I’m sure if this… is it the same guy every time?” She blinked, clearly distracted from her original thought. “Have we all been proposing to Danny day after day?” She wondered. She started counting on her fingers.
“Twice last week,” Tim said thoughtfully. “I proposed to him twice last week.” A line formed between his brows. “I should probably tell Bernard, huh?”
“We must communicate with whoever this Danny is,” Damian said immediately. “If this realm possesses both animal life that resembles our fauna and sentient beings capable of the bad judgment necessary to select Todd as a suitor over Richard, we must know more.”
Jason made a face at Damian and flipped him off, but didn’t disagree. “How is this supposed to work?” He waved the post-it. That did imply some modernity, at least. They were communicating with someone who had stationary. “If I was going to check it, would he know what I picked? Or would I have to– should be bride sacrifice a notebook back and forth?”
“A notebook,” Tim said scathingly. “We can do better than that. A communicator, a phone.”
“Who says Danny has signal, dingbat,” Jason shot back. “He’s probably out of the service area.”
Cass took the paper out of his hand and peered at it. “Yes or no,” she asked, cutting off the disagreement before it could get heated.
He didn’t have to think about it. “Yes,” Jason said, mischief in every line of his body. “I gotta see where this is going. We should at least meet the guy.”
“He said you were tempting!” Dick gasped. He grabbed Jason by the arm and clung on. “Remember? The first time? You’re his type!”
Damian made a ‘gross’ face, features scrunched up like an unhappy cat. Stephanie ‘ooooed’ like she was watching a wrestling match. Cass merely looked thoughtful.
Jason shook his annoying brother off and kept him at a distance with a palm on Dick’s forehead.
“Oooh, the void boy has a crush on you,” Stephanie teased. “You’d be such a beautiful bride, Jason.” She didn’t react to Cass reaching into her hip pouch and withdrawing a sparkly purple pen. Jason loftily ignored Stephanie and watched Cass carefully check YES.
The note disappeared. Cass looked at her empty hand. She flicked the pen between her fingers. Her brow scrunched up.
“Shit!” Jason cursed. “Did-”
The group broke out into an explosion of excited sound.
A throat cleared from the stairs. “Kids?”
Batman stood there, wearing wary suspicion and most of his patrol outfit. He was under the impression that they had agreed to stop sacrificing each other to the green void.
“She took my pen,” Stephanie wailed, instantly switching tracks. Cass backflipped away three times and then leapt directly upwards into the rafters, waiving the purple pen tauntingly. Stephanie chased after her.
“What-”
“Jason won’t let me hug him,” Dick tattletailed. He lunged to grab at Jason. Jason dodged on reflex and threw himself into the scuffle.
“I need to call Bernard.” Tim turned and outright left the Batcave. “I’ll be about five minutes late for patrol, B.”
Bruce watched this chaos with bewildered eyes. “...We leave in ten,” he said, and visibly gave up.
…
The date, when it came, was a fuckin surprise to Jason. He was minding his own business compiling a report on everything the Two-Facers had done last week. (There was a surprising amount of bureaucratic process involved in making yourself the judge, jury, and executioner of people who sucked.)
And then there was a violently green hole in his wall. “Huh,” Jason said, leaning back in his chair. He pulled the handgun out of his desk drawer and cocked it at the portal. “Not sure I care for that.”
“Thanks, wolf,” came a warbled and nonsensical reply. Jason turned off the safety.
His brow furrowed. “What?”
The portal flashed white and it closed. He was lifting his gun to point at the man now standing in his apartment before he’d actually processed that someone had come through. This guy moved fast.
“This is where you live?” The other man was peering around Jason’s apartment. He seemed politely interested at best, and, Jason felt, much less concerned by the gun than he should have been. “I heard bats before. I thought there would be more bats.” His tone was disappointed. He looked at Jason and then flinched his palms out and up, as if he thought he might have come off rude. “Not that you need bats! Or that I’m disappointed by the lack of bats in your decor. In fact you have wonderful, uh, curtains.” He very obviously named the first thing that he saw. He pretended to be fascinated by them. “The red sure is a choice.”
Jason snorted.
“A great choice! I’m not criticizing your home. It’s great.”
Jason realized that if he didn’t say anything to save him, Danny was going to ramble himself into a verbal corner and slink out of the dimension to escape his obvious embarrassment.
“...You hair looks just like in the picture you drew,” Jason said. He put the safety back on. “Hello, Danny.” The name tasted odd in his mouth. It twas just a little pedestrian for the other man– no, teenager, the other teenager.
Danny looked young. No wonder he’d thrown Dic back like the wrong fish.
Jason felt a little less smug about having been the one chosen. Maybe he was just the most age appropriate candidate, not Danny’s type. Timmers was only two years younger, sure, but he was petite enough that it was a little ambiguous.
Danny turned away from Jason’s window and beamed up at him like that was the greated compliment he could have ever received. “I don’t actually have your name! Which is funny, since you kept manifesting in my house.”
God help him, Danny was cute. Jason reached out a hand. “Jason.”
Danny looked at his outstretched hand and then back to his eyes. He blinked. “Are- oh!” He flushed green and his hand shot out to meet Jason’s in what was very clearly the first handshake of his life.
It was a struggle not to laugh. He didn’t wanna make Danny feel bad so he held it in. There was a helpful distraction in that Danny was fascinating to the touch. It didn’t feel like he was touching a human hand. First off, the hand was about the temperature of butter straight from the fridge. Secondly, somehow the physical contact made Jason taste mint in his mouth.
But really, it just… it didn’t feel like human skin. It was too smooth. There was a raised line from a scar, but the texture was as if all the wrinkles and pores of human skin had been polished off. Like if you held the hand of a marble statue and it was somehow also soft.
Jason pulled his hand away before he could wonder too much if that supernatural smoothness extended elsewhere. Ah. Too late. He flushed a little red, even though the only exposed skin was Danny’s hands and face. “So you’re here to uh, set up a date?” he offered.
Danny blinked at him. “Are you busy now? I was thinking now.”
…He was sort of busy. Jason closed his notebooks, only now concerned that Danny might have seen extremely sensitive information. “Nope,” he lied, attention catching on Danny’s freckles. Something about them was pinging as relevant. Was there a pattern? They weren’t symmetrical or anything. Were they fake?
Danny beamed and - he floated up a few inches in his excitement. Holy hell that was cute. “Great!” he enthused. “Should we go to your place or to mine?”
Uh.
Jason turned violently red. “We are already in my place.” His voice came out tight. He- he hadn’t meant that. That was not a first date activity for him.
It took a few seconds for the penny to drop. “Go out in your city or go to the Ghost Zone!” Danny waved his hands frantically. “I’m not being a creep I swear! I mean, we are kind of spiritually engaged but I’m also engaged to– are those people your friends and family?” He was outright horrified. “Oh my GOD, I’m-”
“I would love to take you out around town, but you’ll stand out,” Jason interrupted. He couldn’t hold back the smile. “We can make it work, though. Thoughts on hats and glowing less?”
“Oh, that’s easy.” Danny twitched his hands outward in a motion he probably didn’t even know he was doing. There was another flash of white light that crawled up and down his body.
And Danny one was gone. Danny two stood in Jason’s apartment with dark hair, patched jeans, and a loose t-shirt that hid the musculature his jumpsuit had displayed. He had a full palette switch of his eyes and skin tone as well.
He was obviously the same guy. He just felt more down to earth now.
“Useful,” Jason said, and tugged at his snow-white forelock. “Think you could teach me to change my hair like that?” He was only half joking. It was the bane of his existence when he needed to go undercover. It was too distinctive.
“No, but Doctor Frostbite might be able to sort that out for you,” Danny replied absently.
Jason grimaced instinctively. He knew way too many gimmicky villains to want to do to someone called Doctor Frostbite. “That sounds like the name of a B-tier villain with blue hair.”
Danny paused and clearly contemplated it. “That’s Ember, actually,” which made no branding sense because the word ember evoked warm colors. “Lead the way!” He bounced on his heels, which Jason guessed was his human form equivalent to floating up.
Jason cleared his throat. “I, uh, am gonna want to change.”
For the first time, Danny really looked him up and down and realized that he was wearing a white sleeveless undershirt and black boxers. Jason waited patiently as Danny went through all the stages of grief and social mortification. That didn’t stop Danny’s eyes from followed Jason’s bare arms when he casually lifted one and flexed a little, rubbing at the back of his head. Ha. Eat that, Dick.
“I’m going to go drown myself,” Danny said, now violently pink. Huh, even blushing for a color change. “Can I use your restroom?”
“Stay alive enough to pick between Korean or Mexican,” Jason advised. “I’ll be right back. Should I find you a coat?” He didn’t wait for an answer, frowning at Danny’s bare arms. “I’m gonna find you a coat.” He was already on the way to his bedroom. “It’s freezing out.”
…
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