#and we were in my old childhood home??
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Dude I had two weird multifandom dreams one where I met fintan and him and Bronte were like hella suspicious about their past which is weird bcz I don't ship them but they were sooo gay and the other one gwen servant era and some other chic from like our time were having a political debate and were both running for us president???
#damn paf you really make me have interesting dreams apparently#i mean yeah id vote gwen for president any day#the other one was average passive agressive politician and she was just respectful#ans the whole council was watching fintante or whatever you call them#and we were in my old childhood home??#weird as shit#tiwtr-vc#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#councillor bronte#fintan pyren#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#the adventures of merlin#gwen pendragon
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i think the adult relationship to the childhood dog is something that is so tender and heart-wrenching and important. you are the last vestige of my childhood. you are the sacred keeper of the memories i hold dearest, but you can barely see or hear me anymore. who do i become once you’re gone? where do i turn to remember myself? you’re the last one sitting next to me at the door of a childhood home that no longer exists, waiting patiently for the return of a family that no longer exists. where can i live when you, too, no longer exist? i can’t let go. please don’t make me let go. i know you’ll leave soon. i wish you didn’t have to. but she’s just a dog. her life is short and i will witness her death and i’ve known this from the beginning. i didn’t think it would come so fast. am i ready? have i become someone yet? have i become unrecognizable to her yet? does she still see the child i was? i’m still the child i was. please, don’t forget the child i was. please don’t take her away from me.
#i wrote this and put it in my drafts a few months ago#and now my childhood dog just died and im a complete fucking mess and i keep coming back to this#she was my baby#i got her as a birthday present from my parents#only a couple months before everything fell apart#i didnt know what was going on at home was abuse or that things were bad or that thwy would change#i just knew that my parents got me a puppy so i must be the luckiest girl in the world#and she was with us through all of it#and she knew our pain too#he was the one who wanted to put her in a shock collar#we all cried and begged him not to#she was just as traumatized by him as the rest of us#she was the last thread tying me to a time before i understood how bad things were#i don’t know who to be now#im sorry this is sooooo dramatic#i just loved my puppy#but she was 14 years old and we knew it was coming#i just hoped we’d have her for christmas
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Just had a very "KIDS THESE DAYS!!" moments, when an YouTuber said, "The average kid isn't going to take the time to watch a movie ten years older than they are", and I'm like, "Why does the average kid care? Wouldn't they just be watching what's available at h... oooooohhhhhhhhhh."
#Kids these days CHOOSE what they watch. Incredible.#'I bet your favorite movies as a child were the ones you watched on the movie theater'#wrong. my favorite movies were the VHSs we happened to have at home.#as a child I OFTEN rewatched the extremely basic anime adaptation of Oz no one's ever heard about..................#....and my big sister's graduation ceremony.#the classes above her did little dance recitals.#and I loved them. I watched them for pleasure.#kids these days can just OPEN A STREAMING THINGIE#and BROWSE#and DECIDE what they wanna watch??#whaaaaaaaat?!#Honestly still find it a bit baffling. if I had kids...#...which I'm never gonna have...#...but if I DID. I would be PSYCHED to show them my childhood faves.#the ones that stood the test of time anyway.#why do you need live action remakes SHOW THEM THE OLD STUFF.#THEY ARE SIX. THEY DON'T KNOW IT'S OLD.
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Before I had Sunny, I had a rabbit... His official name was Eddy, but he went through many names in my friend group
The names were: Kirishima, Springtrap and lastly Springkiri
Some pictures of him and a funny pic of Sunny
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(A sad thing from here on)
So Eddy sadly passed away on 16th May 2022 while I held him. I bawled my eyes out when I realized he passed and literally couldn't go to school the next day because I was grieving so much. He was my childhood pet. He was 12 years old! Also he decided to pass before my birthday (21st May). I miss him very much
Now let me tell you, in February, the year (2022), he decided to jump from my arm because he was not happy about him getting his nails trimmed and fell on his side! He broke his fucking leg and was too old for operation because he wouldn't handle the amnesia. His leg was fully healed in April. You know he ran around, had fun with his toy, and played as if he was young again... Just to pass in May.
Now, to cheer you up, Sunny has the SAME sleeping spots as Eddy did. She also has similar running habits and such things as Eddy did. Now I think here Eddy's ghost was like 'Let me teach you cat' when she arrived at home and I like that!
Sorry for the kind of sad ask :(
AWWW eddy has such a lovely pelt pattern 🥺 and no worries about this being a Sad Ask: it'd be even more sad if you werent willing to share memories of him- he was still a little darling in your life, so i'm happy to hear bout both the good and bad bout him! so sorry to hear he passed right before your birthday tho.. 😭 at the very least, im sure he passed knowing how loved he was- and still is :]
ANND that's so cute sunny sleeps in his old spot now 🥺
#snap chats#we can celebrate eddy even if he's gone that's what love is about !!!#if it's anything i lost my childhood dog- zakk- about two years ago in february#he was only really close with my mom so he waited for her to come home before going up to her room#didnt take long for us to hear her scream and find him dying in her arms#whats darkly funny is that he's never really liked me and bit me a lot#we were hanging out on the couch when he signaled he was trying to get down and yk. Hes Old so i went to pick him up#but the jackass BIT ME and now i got a scar on my hand#funny enough i was trying to get close to him and my mom while he was passing and he tried to bite me AGAIN He Did Not Like Me#maybe he was just trying to make sure he was with my mom til the end tho idk ... all i know is that i love telling the story bout my scar#its a small one but so was he so. fittin innit#in any case ! dont worry bout feelin bad or melancholy sharin the memory of your lovely: its important to keep them alive that way#even if theyre sad and the sort#to end this tag ramble on a lighter note. sunny sit PROPER young lady im CRYING why she sit like that ... i love when cats cant sit normal.
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:3
#i gad a good time tonight. it was truly lovely.#all my family. we all sat down and went thru the old pics and memories hehe#and so many moments like those were the times#my sukoon. my home. my joy.#we all had big smiles on our face those memories brought us so much joy i yearn for them i adore them sm#and i miss my nani..#xii#and insta was listening to our conversations bc bitch decided to fill my feed full of childhood stuff 😭 making me all sentimental again 😩#had#btw does anyone remember ghatothkach !
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I've had a really good day, just so happy so many people around me make me feel so close and loved. Some really need that reminder from time to time.
#neon moments#went to work in the morning but handled it really well#boss texted (her day off) to see how it went since it was the first ive really been on my own without her to lean on and just was so#supportive about it and said she was proud of me#then went to an escape room with a close friend#my brother and his girlfriend (who is now a friend of mine...ive decided it)#and we had a blast over the qhole experience#(even if we didnt “escape”)#then i come home and another friend came over and we exchanged gifts and talked for a long time and just had a good while of just existing#near each other#THEN#as im am escourting her out#my roommates were having a mini party i just immediately joined since one of my roommates family is in town#and we just joked and loved on our animals (everyone loves my childhood dog who is old but loves attention) and just...#im getting all sappy but I came upstairs and just really appreciate life rn
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i just came out to a real life person and i think im having a heart attack
#IT WAS SO UNPLANNED I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT AT ALL I DIDN'T EVWN THINK WE WERW FRIENDS??#she lives in the building next to mine and we go to tui together to divide the auto fare and we've been walking home 2-3 dino se#and she likes kpop and kdramas#but like there isn't that Spark yk like oh ny god i love u best friends forever its a little awkward and formal still#but we were talking about something and oh my god#when we reached home we were standing uski building ke neeche and she was like i want to introduce you to my childhood bestie i think you#two will like each other#and i was like kinda weirded out like um are we that close yet i thought we were just classmates 😭😭#so i asked ki oh why all of a sudden#and she's like 'i like you' and i look at her and laugh and she said STOP LAUGHING i don't meant it like that im straight ok#and idk something in me snapped i was like oh are u homophobic too?#but pls she didn't know what it meant 😭 so i explained ki do u hate gay people then#she said no no ofc not SO I JUST BLURTED OUT KI good cause im bisexual#THE SHOCK ON HER FACE OMG im saying this now in freaking out now but at that time i said it really coolly and proudly without fumbling#my voice didn't drop down to a low volume or waver or anything (which im so proud bc she's like the first irl person ive come out to face#to face??????? i mean obv childhood friends don't count they're all gay#but anyway she was like OH and then SHE FUMBLED she was like oh nice i respect u very much and it was so awkward i was like haan haan shut#up just don't tell anyone very few ppl know 😭and she wasn't done she was like so as i was saying#we're growing old and real good friendships are getting harder to find and i like you (stop laughing!!) and i hope we don't jinx it#and she literally touched a wooden table lying there and said touchwood???? 😭😭😭😭😭#now i am thinking why did i tell her she's so extroverted she talks to everyone we go to the same tui this town is tiny#she could tell everyone my parents could find out#but also a part of me is relieved cause im so sick of hiding something that is such a small yet imp part of me#and if she tells everyone then cool maybe there'll be more queer people i can't ve the only queer person in this town and we could be#friends and my parents eh they'd never believe something like that they'll ask me if it's true and ill say nah just rumors dumb kids#and they'll believe me because they'll want to believe me so bad#so no harm#i still don't feel very bestfriendy with her but maybe my standards are too high 😭 idk ig i can't see myself being friends with her#for a long time if we weren't forced by circumstances and i don't like her that much but im happy i got to say it#literally said it omg 'kyunki main hu. bisexual' FUCK THAT FELT GOOD
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i genuinely have not stopped thinking about the very real dream i had last night lol
#it felt SO real and it’s really wigging me out#so my ex was mh childhood bestfriend and we grew up together and were high school sweethearts blah blah blah#haven’t seen or spoken to each other in almost 7 years#he ended up getting married and they had a baby last year#so in my dream I ran into him at the airport and he had his daughter but his daughter was 4 years old in the dream#and he introduced me to her/her to me and we ended up hanging out as we waited for our flights#and it was just sooooooo#I don’t even know what the right word to use here is that doesn’t make me sound crazy lol#it felt like we had been friends all this time hahahahah anyway#but it just felt so comforting and like home ????? idk if that makes sense but obviously we knew each other so well back then#and I feel a lil emosh about it all bc I haven’t thought about him in YEARS and like he’s married and I would never go there#but now I feel like I have this huge gaping hole in my chest where I kiss the intimacy of someone knowing me and loving me so well????? LOL#and like I’m not looking for a relationship but I’m not opposed to it at all either so maybe I need to just start taking my love#life a little more seriously yk???#anyway#I’m having a crisis but it’s FINE I’ll live
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Yesterday I was musing about how I haven’t really had a bad nightmare since I went on SSRIs and then I proceeded to have a full blown night terror
#it was so so bad on so many levels#in the first part of my dream i had ordered edibles and shroom powder to be sent to my house (not surprising; i would do this)#and they got delivered by a man who looked completely judgemental of me#but i didn’t care because there was a hot woman there who made me shroom tea#it tasted terrible but i drank it all anyway. and had a weed gummie. and she had a ‘weed patch’ as well that she was trying to get me to put#on my stomach. but i was worried it’d be too potent#since my actual body was sober; i didn’t feel any of the effects of this drug within the dream (obviously) but i was operating under the#assumption they were going to kick in so i was really anxious#then this woman was going through my stuff and she found dead bodies?? like dessicated bodies of multiple people#and i was like ‘i don’t know who the hell that is. i guess they belong to whoever lived here before’#we weren’t in my actual house; we were in like a massive old four-storey house with an attic which i think was where the bodies were#in the dream this was MY house#then for whatever reason i went on a trip with this person i used to be friends with to her childhood home#which was suddenly in a really creepy neighbourhood#she suddenly had a sister who was maybe 11 years old and catatonic due to being demonically possessed. and this kid seemed to be the head#of a cult basically. she had something called the ‘angel guard’ under her thrall. and when i asked what the angel guard were#my friend was just casually like ‘oh they bury you alive’ WHAT?????#then someone unpeeled the weed patch and smacked it on me and i woke up just as i was about to be buried alive#i think there was more to it than this. there was also a creepy woman but i can’t remember the significance of her#it was just such an unnecessarily scary dream. i woke up at like 6am TERRIFIED#i haven’t had a nightmare in so long lol i’m unequipped to cope. especially since my dreams have gotten so much more vivid#now that i’m medicated. i feel like i’m fine with the vivid dreams most of the time but when they’re this bad.. no#personal
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last time my mom visited I was talking to her about parenting and how I appreciated a lot of the choices she and my father had made about raising me and my brother and she agreed that just listening to the child and taking them seriously was the One Weird Trick to cutting out like 60% of conflicts between parents and children. and she said one time I was about three or four years old and we were all going to the grocery store, and at the threshold of the store I just had a meltdown. i was overwhelmed, I was crying, I was just at the end of my rope like kids get sometimes. and instead of dragging me through the store my mom and dad stopped what we were doing and just asked me what the problem was. and I was able to say I didn't want to be there, I couldn't do it, I wanted to go home. and she says she and my father just looked at each other and back at me and said "okay" and we all went home that day instead of forcing the grocery store trip. and I had so few public meltdowns as a kid despite being pretty autistic because, I think, I knew that if I ever really needed to leave, my parents would understand and back me up. and that was the case throughout my childhood. which paradoxically (one might think) resulted in me having fewer incidents of being overwhelmed in the first place, which then made me better able to handle increasing amounts of stress and so on. it also taught me that expressing feelings and communicating them to my caretakers wasn't going to be punished or ignored or called weird, so unlike many other autistic kids who get judged or rebuked for expressing sensitivity or opposition, I didn't need to constantly blockade everyone and internalize everything all the time.
it's a pretty simple concept whether your kids are autistic or not, but most parents don't seem to get it. their parents taught them to just force everything and let the child deal with it alone so they just repeat the cycle even though they know how it feels.
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I would argue that humans have been chronically dehydrated since ... well... For a very very very long time.
Access to entirely safe, clean, untainted water is a luxury. It's a luxury not everyone can afford IN THE PRESENT DAY no less. And it used to be so much worse.
Humans possibly invented* alcohol (*fermentation naturally occurs in nature but you get what I mean) not initially for the drug aspect but because the fermentation process makes it safer to drink. There was actually studies that show increased alcohol availability around industrial revolution times lead to lower cases of deaths from waterborne illnesses. (Not to be confused with John Snow(lol) discovering that cholera cases were less common in brewery workers, because as far as I could tell THAT specific instance was more the result of them having access to different well water sources that weren't the main sources tainted by waste, which was the leading cause of cholera in large urban areas) Tainted water supply has been the cause of horrifying deadly diseases for the entirety of our species history. And the act of living in larger cities had made that worse with the water supply being much more easily contaminated with waste runoff. It's only from modern infrastructure and waste treatment that cities have become safer.
My point being is that humans have probably since recorded history ALWAYS been at least somewhat chronically dehydrated because the alternative would result in a direct increase of the risks from those two factors (water sources that were unsafe in the first place/lack of available water sources entirely, and a side effect of large communal living further contaminating what "safe" water sources we did have access to) So this resulted in our having completely normalized the side effects of chronic dehydration for generations upon generations. And it's only now in our digital age of increasingly advanced understanding of molecular biology, health, and medicine that we're discovering just how bad the situation has always been. Not everyone lived within access of crystal clear glacier runoff. Many of us relied a lot more on getting our daily intake of liquids from the food we ate instead. And it's only now that we're able to see just how drastic that difference can be. Anyways all of this is to say that access to reliable clean water should be a human right and it's something we should fight tooth and nail for especially now that we're learning just how drastic of an impact it can have. Especially in the long run. (I literally JUST learned that thing about "knots in the muscles" from this post)
The variation of water quality and subsequent safety is something I've always been aware of because I'm agonizingly sensitive to drinking water. The high sediment content (enough to stain porcelain sinks deep ruddy orange over time) in small town southern Saskatchewan water is something my hypersensitivity drastically prefers over the (still pretty hard??) heavily treated stuff of northern British Columbian cities. To the point that I cannot bring myself to physically drink tap water. At all. The taste, smell, and texture is entirely different. My houseplants coincidentally also seemingly do worse if I do not boil their water or outright just buy them distilled water. It's not just me and my silly little plants though. The mineral content in tap water can build up and damage sensitive machinery such as medical equipment which is why distilled water is used in those things instead. Pretty much everything added to tap water has some beneficial quality for us humans drinking it but that doesn't change the fact that it's being added and I'd argue the type of water/treatment you grew up with permanently influences your taste in water going forward. My grandparents, also in southern Saskatchewan but on a farmstead and without access to water mains (had a cistern/well/idk), were my primary caretakers for the first few years of my life and I drank probably more in the means of juice than what is ideal for a young child. And thanks to my autistic hypersensitive ass this would be a habit that became impossible to break when I moved to BC and suddenly the tap water tasted like "acid soap" rather than the rich flavour of the previously closest town's running water (that which was excessively rich in sediments) or my go-to always reliable consistent taste and textured apple juice (sugar addiction in humans what with us being descended from frugivore apes is its own subject entirely that I won't touch on here but yeah needless to say sugar cravings are generally something our brains tend to prioritize over drinking just plain water unfortunately)
The water fountains at parks and in my elementary school were fine and I drank from them freely. But the residential tap water... god... It might as well have been pool water there was too much chlorine.
Where I'm going with this is, stay hydrated. Hydrate yourself as much as you can. Because it's important. Humans benefit from a lot more water than the average person probably thinks we do, clearly. It can cause according to OP, chronic muscle injury. But don't feel guilty about hating tap water. You're not crazy, there ARE chemicals in there. Not harmful chemicals mind you, please don't fall for "raw water" scams, that's how you get all manner of diseases, just get distilled water then, but don't feel bad about being able to notice and dislike your local tap water and having to drink bottled water or mixing something into your water like a juice or a tea. We're all probably adapted to be a bit more sensitive than we should be to differences in water BECAUSE of our history with the high risk of contamination, which is something people out there in many places are still facing today.
Also shit like golf courses and the mass production of things like almond milk are an abuse of our precious water supply and we should prioritize that water going to people and our environment first and foremost. Don't feel guilty about "wasting" water as an individual. You're not. It's blame being shifted. Use your water. That's what it's there for. Have baths and water your plants and just play in it sometimes.
Stay hydrated my friends. By any means necessary. It's a privilege your ancestors would be beyond proud and relieved you now have. Our water being as reliably safe and clean as it is represents generations of scientific research, advancement, and innovation. Untold numbers of humans working together to bring you, the people of today, something they could only have dreamed of. And remember the importance of water in your social activism. Because it's something we need to protect as well.
#text post#long post#sorry to ramble I was just craving the sediment water something fierce when this post came across my dash#and I felt really upset I can't just drown in the stuff#you know in small town Saskatchewan outdoor pools would be this exciting adventurous murky orangey color#couldn't see the bottom so the diving for treasure game was a lot more fun#and once out of the water I could actually let it dry on my skin and it wouldn't make me feel all tingly and itchy#I never fully feel clean after a bath or a shower here and I blame the water#you know how they sell like bottled water from fucking fiji or some shit? Imagine my beautiful ruddy Saskatchewan water instead#also yeah I literally do not drink the tap water here other than like when I make lemonade or my own iced tea#have had people tease me about not drinking water but they don't know what it's like to be homesick for the type of fucking water#and on that subject I feel a nostalgic grief with remembering how the baths were from that underground tank water at my grandparents house#their little green enamel bathroom and the cool safe way having a bath in that bathtub felt. such an old blurry faint memory#but such a comforting one of that little green bathtub#the water here feels fucking SHARP on my goddamn skin. It's WORSE than how it was on the coast where I spent the majority of my childhood#I fucking HATE northern BC tap water man#although there's also the very real possibility due to our shitty landlords that we just have something wrong with our plumbing#either way I fucking miss the Saskatchewan water#every time I got to visit again as an older child it just felt so... right... you know?#like home is part of your flesh and your bones and the way water is supposed to taste and the way it's supposed to evaporate off your skin
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My campaign is verified and added to the Gaza Donations page with number 192.
Thank you for documenting my campaign from the following accounts:
@sar-soor @heba-20 @el-shab-hussein @90-ghost @soon-palestine@ibtisams @marnota @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @i-am-aprl @northgazaupdates @fallahifag @fairuzfan
I love you all 🙏🙏♥️🌹
I am Mohammed Almanasra, 32 years old, married, and a father of three children: Abdulrahman, 6 years old, Sarah, 4 years old, and Lina, 3 years old.
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My story began with the loss of my parents and four of my sisters, who were bombed and lost their lives along with their children after the events of October 7 and the severe war on Gaza. Now, I am facing a severe injury to my leg, which is at risk of amputation if I do not receive the necessary treatment. My wife, children, and I are displaced, without parents or siblings, and my wife is also suffering from uterine cancer.
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Recently, I moved to the south of the Gaza Strip, fearing for the lives of my children. We left behind our memories and our new home, for which we had not finished paying the installments, in addition to losing my job. Currently, I live in a tent that does not protect me from the heat of summer or the cold of winter, and without the minimum necessary livinng basics including water, food medical care, clothe and even bedding .
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I suffer from a chronic asthma and severe attacks from tightness and an extreme allergy in the ear and I need medicine that are not available, or very expensive .
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Under these difficult circumstances, after five attempts at displacement and narrowly escaping death from the bombing, I am trying with all my might to protect my family, the most precious thing I have.
My dreams were shattered, and my house was destroyed, and I found myself living in a tent no larger than 4 square metres. My work turned from a tailor to a street vendor in order to barely buy a few crumbs of bread to feed my children.
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Look at what happened to my children because of the intense heat and the insects that thrive in the summer season. Every day, I take them to the hospital to treat them due to poisonous insect bites. I implore every kind-hearted soul to help me protect my children.
My son, Abdul Rahman, has a deep passion for playing football and is a devoted fan of Real Madrid. He always dreamed of playing football at his school, but the war prevented this dream from coming true.
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Where are you, Real Madrid fans ?
Help Abdul Rahman achieve his dream.
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Every donation will make an enormous difference in helping me save my family.
I feel very sad and embarrassed to ask for help, but I have no other options left. I know that this request is difficult, but I also know that there is still humanity and living consciences and I believe in miracles.
Your support during this extremely difficult time will give us hope in the midst of devastation and despair.
If you have any inquiries or questions, feel free to ask me, please!
To everyone with a compassionate heart,
To all who understand the essence of humanity,
This is a message from my innocent children, who trust that their words will reach everyone who truly understands the meaning of childhood.
We cry out to you, asking you to feel our sorrow and pain, and to extend a helping hand to us in this time when we are in desperate need of your mercy and compassion.
My name is being repeatedly added to many public and private donation campaigns. Please, be a support for me in this difficult situation.
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https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1yYkNp5U3ANwILl2MknJi9G7ArY4uVTEEQ1CVfzR8Ioo/htmlview
Sincere greetings & thanks
Mohammed & the family
#gofundme#palestinian genocide#free gaza#gaza strip#gaza#i stand with palestine 🇵🇸#free palestine 🇵🇸#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#palestine#gaza under attack#aid for gaza#palestine aid#support palestine#my posts#paypal#palestine news#please#war on gaza#🥭#follow 👑 share ❤️ enjoy 🍑#🇵🇸#save 🍉#palestine 🍉#much love 🫶#📍 pinned post.#sorry 😔#gaza solidarity encampment#gaza gofundme#palestine gfm#free palestine
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Not an American, yet Halsey's Hometown reminds me of home a lot 🏡🏚💔
#halsey#ashley frangipane#hometown#the great impersonator#no one died in my friends group; thankfully#yet the drugs (not as big of a problem as in USA but still avaiable) and the wasted lives#a lot of my classmates from middle school got pregnant and married early on#didn't finish their education#some got into drugs#some didn't#some did very well and left#some are doing good despite staying#but it is just all so bittersweet because we are getting old and the some of the dreams we had as teenagers were broken#i still hope that some of those ppl will chase their dreams one day; because as long as we live we can try and pursue what we want#i hope I will still pursue my 'bigger purpouse' and my dreams#just thinking about childhood and home is bittersweet#i just wish i could go back in time and fix everyone and evrtything#i just want them all to heal
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I don’t ask if people believe in ghosts, I go to their houses and ask them if their house is haunted. From their expressions I can make my own conclusions about their belief in the supernatural
#funny story#but my sister’s godfather was staying with us at my childhood home#right?#and we were all outside like cookout style#he went inside to go to the bath room#and like five minutes later he RAN outside#would not tell us what he saw#went to stay at a hotel for the rest of their trip#and like yeah. our old house had a ghost but he was chill#I do remember being home alone and seeing like a kid running down the hallway#but uh#ghost story in the tags
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What does it mean when you miss a home… that no longer exists…?
#cw vent#vent art#personal vent#vent#my art#just some thoughts i had… i havent been having a great day#was listening to harmonies with a kitchen fan when i got actual flashbacks of me doing that when i was a child#in my old home.#then other memories came flashing by as well— like the playground swings in my old school with my former childhood best friend#climbing rooftops to watch the sunset#petting stray cats while walking around the village and foraging during the pandemic#the garden we used to have#the field outside the chappel… the waterfall outside the basketball court along with the food stalsl there#the kind frail old lady neighbor who’d welcome me to her home occasionally— i loved seeing all her knick nacks#her plants and puppies too#i wonder if shes still alive…#the nice witchy neighbor i also had who fostered stray kittens and had a whole crystal museum in her home#the adventures… exploring abandoned houses and pretending there were ghosts… the games we used to come up with and play#i miss them all…#growing up was always hard#but these moments are some that i miss terribly every day… including the freedom to roam and explore#the childlike wonder…#thats something i can no longer be free to do so anymore. . .#it makes me want to cry.
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