#some did very well and left
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Not an American, yet Halsey's Hometown reminds me of home a lot 🏡🏚💔
#halsey#ashley frangipane#hometown#the great impersonator#no one died in my friends group; thankfully#yet the drugs (not as big of a problem as in USA but still avaiable) and the wasted lives#a lot of my classmates from middle school got pregnant and married early on#didn't finish their education#some got into drugs#some didn't#some did very well and left#some are doing good despite staying#but it is just all so bittersweet because we are getting old and the some of the dreams we had as teenagers were broken#i still hope that some of those ppl will chase their dreams one day; because as long as we live we can try and pursue what we want#i hope I will still pursue my 'bigger purpouse' and my dreams#just thinking about childhood and home is bittersweet#i just wish i could go back in time and fix everyone and evrtything#i just want them all to heal
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I can't get over that last scene from this episode. that long pause where sam was quietly grabbing a drink and you could barely hear celia talking to jack as she put him to bed in the other room. nothing was happening in that moment that needed to be recorded. no terrible events no big revelations. just sam and celia quietly going about their lives, sharing a domestic moment.
as something watched and listened. and we don't know why it's listening.
#ramblings with major#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#its like. its so unsettling because a) that faint ambient music did its job Very Well#but also b) we didnt have that in tma!! anything soft and domestic was left to the imagination!!#we got a couple establishing bits from scotland and then The Mass Ritual statement was recorded for obvious reasons#upton house also had very little on tape after the statement was done#i dont think there was ever that kind of quiet slow 'fluff' scene like that in tma#and there was always some reason things were being recorded. usually someone was aware of a tape being on#now theres just colin being colin and everyone else is only vaguely aware that their Computers are listening#no one knows about the phones not really. or the personal laptops. or the nanny cams.#and this is just. so much more unsettling. i love it sm it feels So invasive and awful ough
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THE JETSET LIFE IS GONNA KILL YOU, ERIC CARTER!
my laptop charger uhhhhhh. met its end in a very permanent, very fire hazardy kind of way last week. while waiting for a replacement I decided to try and get some work done at the library and was asking around for some urban fantasy (extra points for a mystery plot of some kind) recommendations to check out while I was there
the eric carter series was mentioned a couple of times, AND had the added bonus of having a necromancer for a main character. I love necromancers. someday I'm gonna play one in a game instead of immediately defaulting to vampires.
Fire Season, Stephen Blackmoore
#i was also told to check out johannes cabal because. again. necromancers. and sandman slim#i'll get around to it next year probably#ive had urban fantasy on the mind ever since I did a full re read of the dresden files and then a SECOND re read of it right after#but from a different starting point and then did an unnecessary examination of harry as an unreliable narrator#with a very specific kind of world vision that does funny things to his perception. idk what purpose that served#ANYWAY. i got a whole list of gritty urban fantasy recommendations to slowly work through next year#i dont really play around with original english language urban fantasy fiction very often because it's like#a lot of what i want out of it I already get out of japanese/korean comics I read and also filipino horror#so I'm not exactly starved for it except that I'm low key kind of starving for it. when will filipino horror return from the war#anyway i appreciate the hate the main character has for spanish colonialism#and as a long time whump enthusiast i love it when a character goes through the absolute wringer#creative liberties were taken. i thought about rolling up the sleeve on his. left? arm and then thought about the tattoos and changed#my mind lmao. i started drawing some of them tho. i once dated a guy who was similarly tattooed and for a minute i thought#'well i can just rip off all of that' and then i thought 'wait i still have to draw it' and decided Not To#eric carter series
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post-pareidolia arvo house - it is situated on the outskirts of sartrill, and is a more crakam-style house, with some accomodations for his human form. the actual ladder down is on the other side of the trunk. the pines that support crakam houses are not the average pinus sylvestris but rather another pine relative, 'ramnfura', which is cultivated especially by harpies as they grow to impressive heights and are very robust.
#oc stuff#pareidolia tag#oc: arvo#fantasy#visual development#i guess HAHA#Me when i keep drawing post-pareidolia bullshitttt#well tbh i did want to draw this to kind of figure out sartrillan architecture more....#im thinking that basilisk buildings are like very nestlike. magpie nestlike and also huge#with some housey elements... i have to figure it out#also yes arvo is left handed
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Halo
#mmm ok lemme just start w the tags then ill ramble#welt yang#hsr#honkai star rail#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#my art#ok anyways. i didnt have too many thoughts when i started it beyond “uni is killing me but i NEED to do my daily drawings”#some thoughts did go through my mind while drawing which determined the direction this went in#which is that this could be a badass heroic drawing but.. it isn't. this doesn't feel very happy does it?#it makes him look a bit lonely#but something about the pose and the red is ominous. like he's unreadable but theres something sad about it#the moon in the background has a bit of a double meaning - namely the actual moon and its purpose in hi3#as the final destination of the honkai and the story but.. him as well#and as a halo. i love that the three major organizations in hi3 are basically religious groups#and AE basically worships joyce and his legacy (!) and welt tries to fill that. i mean the title sovereign alone means like. absolute ruler#an untouchable figure in terms of power and control over their people#so i really like to give him some sort of fucked up fake halo. he can imitate a saintly figure but it dehumanizes him in turn#he even talks about humanity like he's not a part of it#what's left is some kind of creature mimicking divinity but becoming isolated and inhuman in the process#(gesturing wildly) THINK ABOUT THE COSMIC HORROR POTENTIAL OF BEING A HERRSCHER. HE LITERALLY PERCEIVES REALITY DIFFERENTLY. CMON.
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about absence; presence. Lover; Warrior
Inspired by.
#animator vs animation#my drawings#ava#ava victim#victim.ava#victim animator vs animation#long post#i'll post the redraw of the first comic poem later i just wanted to finish this one first#sometimes i really think about victim and like. the way i interpret it clicked some time ago#like. his actions are now so very loud and striking and leave a smoking crater of course#but thats now like. his existence? the one we saw before? the one nogai saw was..#quiet...#maybe not in the literal sense. with that first fight. but on what it is now that a glimpse of a life's works came into light#but during all these years? basically radio silence. we didnt even know if he was alive until now#just. hints. a hunch. and a very good one on that#and well the new ep is coming soon so meanwhile i just wanted to get this out of my head#at least from my point of view a good way to see him i think is picking up what he left behind and how it mirrors-#today to paint a fuller image.#and. i dont know... that one art i linked Did inspired this and a lot more. it always did#and maybe... 'inspired by' can also mean. 'dedicated to'#for what is worth
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Why do you think did Curly let Jimmy go before the crash? I've seen the theory Curly briefly thought about crashing too but didn't expect Jimmy to go through with it
I generally believe it was shock and a bit of denial.
It’s the sort of thing where Curly knew Jimmy enough to know he blows up at things but he never would’ve expected him to go through with something so crazy. He gives Jimmy way too much benefit. It’s just his nature and the dynamics he has with Jimmy. They have a stable relationship as friends but it’s stabilized by the unhealthy toxic aspects that keep him in it. He’s like this with Anya, taking the gun is something he really shouldn’t have kept off the record, so is Swansea’s feigned hostility toward Daisuke. He doesn’t want to get people in trouble and doesn’t want to believe anyone would cause trouble other than to themselves. He’s a very lenient man.
I think the words were hollow in his head. Said but not really meant like all the times Jimmy lashes out and says something cruel to him or others. He never means it, if he did why would he still be Curly’s friend? Curly’s head wasn’t in the right space in that moment, he just got through panicking with Anya and if the sound design is anything to go by, was panicked and preoccupied going to confront Jimmy. I mean, the flash of the warning signs before he runs back are identical to the dissociative episode of sort he has when going to talk to Jimmy to do his Psyc eval.
There is this sort of assumption in fanon that Curly was the idealic person for the job and simply failed. None of them were the idealic people to be there, it’s Curly’s entire concern with the ladder he chose. I see more interpretations of him being purposefully ignorant where I see him as just always looking the wrong way or not in a place where he can see it. There’s something different about seeing something than being told about it in the human mind. It may just be the psych student in me but Curly def has some sort of cognitive dissonance just like Jimmy but when it comes to his role as a Captain vs who he is.
They blur in his head to where if you ask him if he was acting as a Captain or a friend or himself to his crew he couldn’t answer. Not with confidence even if he did. There are many times we see that Curly himself is not in the right headspace to lead the Tulpar and that’s outside of anything with Jimmy. He’s spacey, he’s not sleeping, he’s deeply unhappy with himself and life. It’s why there’s believability he crashed the ship. Maybe the others saw it, or maybe Jimmy heard enough of it to spin it in a way that made Curly seem suicidally depressed.
So the tdlr is I think it wasn’t so much letting Jimmy go, more so not seeing the severity of what he was allowing to transpire. In his mind it’s just another one of Jimmy’s bluffs, cruel words, off words but just words. Jimmy rarely ever acts, why would he now? Maybe he’s never seen it because Jimmy hides those actions? Either way, he just never thought he’d really do it.
#like curly is also not mentally well like if I were to rank worst mental health before the crash#I’d go Jimmy then curly then Anya then Daisuke then Swansea#he clearly dissociates and goes on auto pilot often enough Anya is picking up on it#he never thinks about himself and is very easily talked down to by his crew I mean even Swansea is overly#snippy with him for the professional relationship they have and his closest confidant is fuckin Jimmy#mix this with the fact the last time they likely talked outside of work stuff was the party like I don’t think he was in a good headspace to#be making critical decisions in this situation like it’s not an excuse for not taking more action towards Jimmy but it’s a factor that is#often left out of the mix. cuz either Jimmy just wasn’t doing copilot stuff or he was in the cock pit being distant and cold and likely#setting off those sort of bells in Curly’s head where he should be placating him like he likely did back on earth but he can cause#jimmy’s not over it I mean I can only imagine those three missing days were very awkward and anxiety filled for all the crew members some#more than others but yeah it think it’s mostly him just not really absorbing anything until it all hits after Jimmy steers the ship like#he’s just a little fucked in the head like again not an excuse but it is another reason on top of pragmatism#ask#anon#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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Dragon lore...?
Idk I'm sure there's something comprehensive in here, I need to go to sleep this was killin me
If it helps, I was listening to me and my husband by mitski 👍:)
>:))
#wtf did i create#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#crossover#tmnt crossover#rottmnt splinter#rottmnt baron draxum#splinter never catches a break stg#lot of implications here tho its left ambiguous#well some of it#light angst#angst#blood#gore#cant believe splinter took the kids smh#little dragons au#paper scales au#that random mystic warriors screenshot with the key was very important u.u#sketch#SHOULD specify that they're technically NOT in order-#sorry sorry
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Thinking of the Nie disciple that told Nie Mingjue it was Meng Yao who stayed behind to clean up corpses on the battlefield today.
Nie Mingjue didn't just randomly stumble upon poor lil meowyao eating bread in the novel, he was already looking for him to thank and reward him for his work.
That's what makes it so fun that nieyao's first conflict will end up being about someone else taking credit for Meng Yao's work.
And I'm sure that Nie Mingjue's actual opinions on plagiarism are a lot more nuanced, all we really get from him in this scene is "well you shouldn't kill someone over it!" which leaves a lot of room for what punishments he thinks are appropiate. But I bet that it isn't occuring to him in this moment that the only reason he knows Meng Yao at all, the only reason he got such a capable deputy, is that he noticed someone was taking care of the dead and cared enough to want to know their name. And then the Nie disciples didn't lie to him. The disciple he asked could have said "it was me, Zongzhu" to rise in the ranks himself, but he didn't. He went and asked others, who all also could have taken the credit, but they didn't. Someone saw Meng Yao working and decided to be honest about it and that simple decision is the catalyst for Meng Yao becoming Nie Mingjue's deputy.
Meng Yao can't just work hard to get results, others have to acknowledge that work. If they don't, it's as if he didn't do anything at all.
#i'm very proud of the phrase poor lil meowyao. i'm sure i'm not the first one to come up with it but i'm proud nonetheless.#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#meng yao#anyway this isn't a nmj bashing post i think 'ok that's bad but don't do MURDER' is overall a pretty reasonable reaction#but the emotional disconnect is fun to ruminate on. I bet meng yao IS thinking about that moment while coming up with his fake-suicide plan#anyway i always laugh a litle whenever anyone wonder if meng yao looking a bit pitiful was all some master stategy to get nmj to like him#because like... no. no that would be a stupid plan and also involved way too many factors he couldn't control.#and also!! he was already doing something else to try and get nmj's attention. all of that fucking work!!#if you plan on getting nmj– guy famous for valuing merit and hard honest work– to like you what is more useful:#looking a bit like a sad little wet cat in case he comes across you? or. Working really hard and being more useful than everyone else?#ding ding ding it's the latter.#nmj is ALSO a bit weak for someone looking like a kitten left in the rain but that's not well-known at all and meng yao didn't know him yet#anyway the fact that that is his plan does mean he's very aware how much it hinges on other people not just lying and saying they did it.#i wonder what networking efforts lil heijan meng yao was doing. trying to make friends with all the other disciples.#walking the tightrope of being accomodating but not a doormat so people see you as someone to rely on rather than take advantage of.#as much as we know not everyone in the nie is as righteous as nmj it does seem like there is a culture of taking pride in your own work.#even the cultivators who bully him in the novel just seem think it's funny he's working so hard.#using someone else's actions to prop yourself up is kinda like admiting they're better than you. a wound to their pride if nothing else.
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"A lot of very touching songs came outta that war..."
s2e5 "Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde"
previous piece
next piece
another piece for the pile. this one took ~25 hours, ish? i regretted it as soon as i picked it lol. still CSP, still gouache brush [my beloved] and various blenders. when i got to the rain poncho i had to bribe myself with sweets to do all the texturing, it was hell on earth and that alone took 6ish hours. i am most proud of the right [his left] eye lol i think i nailed that sucker
if anyone has recommendations for the next one, speak now; i am very bored over summer break waiting for college to begin and this damn show is swallowing up my life, so might as well lol
and like last time, heres some WIP snapshots [with numbers this time] to show what order they came in
put off that ear for 12 years and then nailed it first try, c'est la vie
#mash 4077#mash#hawkeye pierce#mash fanart#mashblogging#mash art#ive never been very good at faces#so of course my first thought upon gazing at my many potential screenshots was 'what about the one thats just his whole face'#'like just his face. and hair'#'and the worlds most annoying patterned soaking wet crinkled rain poncho'#at least he looks appropriately wet and pathetic#and it looks like alan alda/hawkeye#and i DIDNT forget the lip scar#my art#last note is that the silliest part was de-princessing his lips lol#cause first pass was just to get them placed and coloured. second pass was to make him need chapstick lol#i also had two whole layers called 'temporary pores' that made it all the way to the end because they just texture the face well#and make it look like skin instead of clay. i did add some actual pores for depth lol#m*a*s*h#hawkeye really came into radar's room exhibited mental illness and left#s2e5#.reasons my wrist is suing me
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LOST: Season One
#lost#abc lost#lost one cap per ep#this was a project i was gonna do anyways but the timing worked out that i could post the first one on the 20th anniversary!#this is one cap per ep every season. from left to right. and this is important: its not a cap that sums up each ep#its a cap that REPRESENTS each ep. the way i choose them varies every episode#sometimes its an utterly iconic moment. sometimes it reps the theme of the ep. or it hits with a theme of the character themselves#sometimes the cap i use won't even involve the character whose centric episode it is. trust me. this makes sense#anyways i'll give a good example: for outlaws i was so tempted to use a shot of the judgemental soulful gaze of the boar#or perhaps sawyer in the rain after he shot that man#but! i used that shot of sawyer's dads legs as sawyer is hiding under the bed. i feel it worthy because this moment. this scene#is literally a core part of sawyer. it's a defining moment of his backstory. of his character. so yeah. makes sense yeah?#anyways some eps had Too Much going on (lord i could make one of these for exodus part 1 alone) and some not enough#or well they DID but like lacked in caps that Hit in the way im thinking. thank heavens charlie shot ethan cuz i was worried about that ep#i was like ''aw shit what am i gonna use'' and then an iconic lost moment happened kjhfdsjkhfd#anyways. there are 25 eps in season one. so im really glad that the last ep contains one of the moment iconic visuals/moments in all of los#oh i should add that these caps are unedited. i did not fuck with the colours or saturation in any way#i found 'em and i pieced them together. this is harder than it sounds. i browsed through all the screencaps of every ep of season one#and i will do so the remaining five seasons#some of these were super easy like i knew what cap i'd be using before i even started (eg. do no harm. the moth. in translation)#but some took some real Thinking. and some eps even had several caps that would have worked. this has all been quite interesting#also yeah. y'all already know damn well what cap i'm using for the very last episode
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so fun fact a couple weeks ago my friends and I did a PowerPoint night and my theme was making left for dead… 3!!!!! But my friends and I are the main characters. So here’s all of the art I did for that :)
Two campaign posters! The idea was that the campaigns would start us in our stomping grounds, and lead us up eventually to the military safe zone that’s vaguely mentioned in a map in L4D1 that looks to be AROUND Oregon/Washington.
(Extra fun fact: I drew the Hollywood poster literally WEEKS before the current wildfires happened. So when the fires happened all of my friends started joking that my art was a bad omen)
Next, Individual art of the survivors (the squad, if you will)
There was actually a LOT more that went into the presentation itself but I was very proud of the survivor “concept art” (using that word real loosey-goosey because these are all very real people)
#if you wanna see the presentation I am open to sharing it!! it’s on Google docs and so so so much love went into it#it took about a month to fully finish#there’s more art that’s like us and the other survivors but it was rushed and also very cartoony in style so I wasn’t planning on posting#art#my art#left 4 dead 2#left 4 dead fanart#I’m definitely re-doing my design at some point bc I HATE the clothes I am wearing and mostly did it to be like#With my luck I would get stuck in clothes I definitely fucking hate wearing#I also work on a street where there’s like three gun shops within one block#so my backstory was that I was at work and gunned it out of there when zombies showed up#and DEFINITELY didn’t steal guns on the way#also my friends gave me permission to post ok love u byeeeee#digital art#concept art#idk when I’m gonna post new art bc I have to rest my hand but oh well#l4d2
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posting that sketch yesterday made me remember just how much i love my taashath so i did another doodle <3
#dai#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#da inquisitor#the inquisitor#adaar#inquisitor#inquisitor adaar#taashath adaar#some fun facts about her that im hiding in the tags!!#taashath was born under the qun and used to be a tamassran! the left the qun when she discovered one of her#children- her last child in fact- had magic. she didnt want him to be taken as a saarebas and so she tried to leave with him#her kid was killed in the process of leaving :(. she snapped and. surprise. she has magic too. shes just done a really good job of hiding it#she manages to escape with the help of one of the soldiers assigned to protecting her (meraad who another inquisitor in a different run)#but doesnt exactly remember How. all she remembers is waking up on the shore of wycome without meraad#eventually she was found by the valo-kas and taken in by them. they helped teach her how to properly control her magic and they took care of#her as she slowly got back on her feet.#and then she became the inquisitor.#she allied with the mages. conscripted the wardens. and made celene gaspard and briala shake hands. she also sacrificed loghain in the fade.#she doesnt have a canonical romance BUT. she had a few flings with some of the others and spent years pining after vivienne.#she ends up close friends with dorian bull cole and sera! she... does not end up friends with blackwall. but she does spare him#she Was close with solas at the start of inquisiton but she struggled to connect with him. his interactions with some of the other#companions didnt help. but she does care about him!! its just. difficult. it was difficult with sera and dorian at first too. and bull#she is completely Unsure what to think of varric but they are friends. and taashi absolutely adores josephine. leliana scares her just a bit#and she struggles to intetact with cullen but she does care for him. cassandra ends up as her divine (from a game glitch i made canon) even#though she did everything she could to get vivienne on the throne.#shes also trans!!! very big bonding point between her bull and krem is that she is aqun-athlok. everytime dorian or varric mentions mae she#goes :0 as well. uhhh yeah! i love her sm. if anyone has any questions pls pls 🥺🙏 send em
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Progress Report;
FEB 2024 - MARCH 2024;
Hello all!
Took a sort of accidental hiatus for the month (I was still on tumblr, I just wasn't posting), just to make sure my busy schedule didn't overwhelm me.
However! That does mean I've got quite a bit of work done, both for university and tag :)
You won't be getting a 'done' and 'to-do' list this time, since it's mostly been admin and editing, but I will say that the chapter one update for tag will be coming out this month.
I'm hesitant to give a more specific date this early on, but I'll reblog this post with something more specific once I know.
#tag-if#the advisor's game#twine wip#have we progressed?#i did in fact age this month as well#happy late birthday to me#sorry for the very vague update#i'm not super sure on how much fine-tuning is left#so it's a bit hard to be more specific#however#*it's on the way*#please feel free to send in some asks whilst you wait by the way#i'll be answering them now it's march#i have a lot more free time
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"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.
#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago#i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really#that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it#but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there!#& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream#chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read#yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA???#you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay#i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk.#BUT ANYWAY#fic related#ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types#who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict#though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here#(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)
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"Penelope has insecurities!" As an excuse for her harming others because of those said insecurities falls very flat when it puts the character's, who live during a time of few options especially if you were a women, at risk. And even with her insecurities, her lashing out and hurting people should be held in the same regard as how some view Cressida, who didn't get the luxury of a view into her home life until s3, unlike Penelope, and while it still has people calling out this behavior, although rightfully so, it often still includes denying that Penelope needs to take accountability as well.
#some on twitter said how in fandom yt characters will get a pass for hurting other characters just bc of their insecurities#which is very true when you look at how some to this day still talk about marina with a lot of misogynoir rhetoric just to defend pen#like how can you say “support morally grey or complex female characters” but then shit on marina left & right while erasing/woobifying pen'#own complexities? it doesn't make sense#i would find pen much more enjoyable if her complexities were acknowledged and the harm she did was called out & corrected#but i can't even enjoy spaces like that without some of her fans jumping into the frey and painting it as a crime against them#if you reflect that heavily on a character that's fine but don't get mad when other people don't see it the same way as you#especially poc who have to see pen not only call a kate (and simon) “beast” or constantly make petty brutal remarks about queen charlotte#for no reason as well as use abliest remarks to refer to the king george who suffers a debilitating mental illness#there was no reason for her to do all of that besides being deeply insecure that it makes her harm others who don't even know her#calling that out isn't a bad thing 😭#and yeah while i like/enjoy cressida i can call her out for her behavior toward pen & others even tho i understand it#i could even do the same for pen but see my prior points#the “let female characters be complex” crowd are (not always but sometimes) the first to remove these complexities and it's frustrating!#anti penelope featherington#bridgerton#pen stans don't interact bc this clearly says anti#made this post after people on twitter got on my nerves & created sob stories that ain't never happened just to make whitewash pen
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