#and we got Pein

[spiderlily-w1tch-blog]

Currently watching Naruto Shippuden and I just have one question for Mr Masashi Kishimoto.

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON CAUSING US PAIN????

WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS???

[naruto--headcanons]

Kakashi's home at any point after Sakumo died had always been decorated by other people. plants, furniture, and decorations had been gifted to him, mostly by Naruto, Gai, or Yamato.

[orcelito]

Ok I kind of am glad to have given this Isobu arc a chance. I'm not entirely sold on the Guren and Yuukimaru stuff, but I'm getting to see a lot more of the minor characters I don't usually see. INCLUDING so many female characters!!!!! Started off with Hinata, then Sakura, and now Ino, Shizune, AND Tenten are all here!!! Five female characters active in one arc!!! Practically unheard of for Naruto!!!! Plus Guren makes 6 I guess, though I don't really like how they're like "here's a Ruthless Woman who thinks of nothing except becoming one with Orochimaru!!!! ...except now here's a child, and after just a few days her Motherly Instincts are thawing her heart!!!!!! She's not so ruthless after all!!!!" Like I mean it's sweet, but also it sucks that they're doing this with one of the few female villains. Like why are most of the women reduced to mothers and girlfriends??? In the end, basically all of them get this fate. Or they die. Come on can't we have a woman that just sucks??? Smh.

[animeomegas]

New Things and Misunderstandings - Naruto Omegas x Alpha!reader

A/N: Happy birthday @omeganronpa !!!! I can't write more because ow, but yay, it's your birthday! I don't know what this post is, I just picked a few of your favs and wrote about misunderstandings lol, but I hope you like it anyway lmaoooo ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤🩶🤍

Warnings: Just some innuendo lol. And me thinking I'm funny, that needs a warning.

Naruto

*Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto having a drink together*

Sakura: It's your birthday soon, right Naruto? Do you have anything special planned?

Naruto: Uh, not much. Work is crazy, y'know?

Sakura: Ugh, you don't have to tell me. I haven't got my birthday off from the hospital in four years.

Naruto: Yeah, it sucks. I'll probably just spend the evening at home with my alpha. I was thinking of asking for a quickie or something.

Sasuke: *grimacing* Tmi, dobe.

Naruto: What? I've never had one before, so I thought it'd be cool to try.

Sakura: Naruto! No one wants to hear this.

Naruto: Why? You don't like quickies? I always thought they looked tasty. I mean, they aren't ramen of course, but I always get birthday ramen from Ichiraku, so I can't ask my alpha to make it.

Saskue: ...

Sakura: Naruto, spell quickie.

Naruto: Um, okay? I think it's Q-U-I-CH-E.

Sasuke: 🙄

Sakura: 😠

Shikamaru

Alpha: *in the middle of a chat with Kiba* -and Shikaku was so hot yesterday, it's kind of crazy, y'know.

*Shikamaru suddenly walks in, home from work, overhearing*

Shikamaru: What 😐

Alpha: Shika! You're home!

Shikamaru: What 😐

Alpha: We were just talking about how the aircon has given up in the jounin headquarters. You must have heard about it. The common room wasn't too bad once everyone opened the windows, but I was just saying that your father was suffering a lot in his small office.

Shikamaru: *visibly relaxing* Oh, I see. Yes, for once I've been grateful that Naruto keeps me in Hokage tower most of the time.

Alpha: Yeah, I bet!

Shikamaru: Okay, I'm going to take a shower upstairs, I'll be back in a bit. *Shikamaru leaves*

Kiba: ...

Alpha: ...

Kiba: Good save.

Alpha: Thanks 😅

Lee

Lee: *sighs sadly*

Alpha: You okay, baby?

Lee: I... Do you think I'm intimidating? To our fellow Konoha shinobi I mean.

Alpha: I mean, I would hope that they have a healthy respect for your abilities, but I don't think people find you unapproachable. Why do you ask? Did something happen?

Lee: I overheard some people talking in the jounin common room. They were saying that they could suffocate in my thighs... But I would never hurt them like that, even in a spar. Do you think they're... afraid of me? 🥺

Alpha: ...

Lee: ...

Alpha: Oh, baby, no.

Shino

Shino: *visibly relieved* Alpha, you're back from your mission!

Alpha: Yes... Is everything okay?

Shino: No... it's Shihori. I'm... I'm worried about her, but I didn't know what to do and you were away and I was scared I'd make it worse so-

Alpha: Woah, slow down. What happened? Is she okay?

Shino: She's... been drawing things. Horrible things. I don't know where she's getting it from, I didn't want to ask in case I made it worse! What do we do??

Alpha: Deep breaths, what sort of things has she been drawing?

*Shino anxiously opens a drawer and pulls out a stack of drawings. They depict large, scary creatures. A brown bear, a purple rabbit, and a yellow chicken. You immediately remember hearing your fellow parent shinobi complain about the latest horror video game trend that became popular with children*

Alpha: Ah. It's Freddy.

Shihori: *overhearing from the living room* YOU KNOW FREDDY, APPA?!?!

Alpha: Of course. And Bonnie. And Chica.

Shihori: 🤩🤩

Shino: 😧

Itachi

Alpha: Oh, hey, you're back from reconnaissance. Did you catch them doing anything suspicious? Pein seemed really sure there were our guys.

Itachi: No. Unfortunately, they both kept entirely normal schedules for the day, as far as I could tell.

Alpha: Damn. So we came all the way out here for nothing?

Itachi: Not quite. While their conversation was mundane, I believe they may have been using a code.

Alpha: Seriously?

Itachi: Indeed. They mentioned at one point that their compatriots had been 'sixty-nining' each other. I believe that might have been code, although I am not sure of it's meaning.

Alpha: ...

Itachi: What?

Alpha: ...

Itachi: You recognise the code?

Alpha: *suddenly remembering that Itachi had no friends as a teenager and parents that taught him how to dismember people instead of teaching him anything about sex*

Alpha: ...I'll explain on the way back 🫠

[mixelation]

How about... Akatsuki partner ships ranked? 👀

yeah okay. worst to best

6. Pein/Konan - Look, they have the devotion thing down. You want angst? They have angst, and also a vaguely punk rock aesthetic that seems like it shouldn't exist in universe, which is at least visually interesting. However, Kishimoto forgot to give either of them personalities. They both appear to be the same flavor of Mildly Morose. You would think being leaders of a terrorist organization aiming to end the world's magical military forces via snatching up all the weapons of mass destruction for themselves would make for an interesting power couple, but it just..... doesn't? This ship is bereft of content because even the most versatile shippers don't know what to do with it.

5. Kisame/Itachi - Listen, I know this one will be controversial. I know this one has some very dedicated fans. And I am here to inform those fans that this ship is boring. Look. You just have to accept it. It's okay. Do you know how much MinaKushi I write? I'm not judging you. Sometimes you just want something boring and unchallenging. Their canon dynamic is largely Kisame just doing whatever Itachi wants, and fans are usually too cowardly to let Itachi act insane enough for the dynamic to be interesting. This ship is for people who think black pepper is spicy.

4. Orochimaru/Sasori - I wanted to rank this one higher. Do you know how potentially insane this ship is? Do you understand? Do you know how many nonconsensual surgeries of third parties this ship involves? The stolen bones? The crimes against humanity? The fall out and betrayal and obsession? This should be the greatest, most insane ship of all time. But I've read how it's written. This ship will only disappoint you. Only pain lies here.

3. Tobi/Deidara - This one also seems like it should make for a deeply insane ship, and yet is rarely delivered on. Their canon dynamic is fun, and also its implications turn completely mind-blowingly bonkers post identity reveal. Like what is Obito even doing here? I can only assume his crush on Deidara was just strong enough he got distracted from taking over the world for like six months in order to harass him. Cannot rank higher because fanon Obito is too annoying to read for more than a couple thousand words, and people who ship Deidara with men keep turning him into a sad little uwu bean. You will find some fun things, but also you will find the most annoying OOC content on the planet.

2. Kakuzu/Hidan - They! Are! Married! Bizarrely, the pair that have the most cooperative and supportive on-screen dynamic, which gets them to second place. Unfortunately fans think Kakuzu's entire personality is scamming people for money, and not even in a fun Ed Edd n Eddy way. Also Hidan is usually just like. Protestant with extra steps. How did this happen? We don't know. Fortunately there's a least a small amount of good content out there for them and their married life. They're happy. Hundreds are dead, but they are having a good time.

1.Sasori/Deidara - Genuinely confused about how this one won first. Like I like this ship, okay. It just seems like it shouldn't be number one, and yet here it is. They have a well-established canon dynamic that's a little bit spicy but also leaves room for cooperation. They're both small pretty boys so fans are less determined to sort them into the gender binary of "dark chuckling sex god" and "sad precious uwu bean." There's a wealth of content that doesn't suck and even maybe sometimes gets a little interesting. You will have to read the most cardboard, unnuanced dialogue about art, but it's not like canon was churning out high quality dialogue there either.

[starryficsfinishwen]

✧。◟ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ! — PGR Men x reader

last night, I laid in bed so blue / then I realized the truth!

summary // how do your favorite constructs kiss you?

a.n. - post Valentine's post :D I've been so busy with irl lately, I only just got back on my Tumblr 🫠 how'd your valentine's go?(I had a date with my school project :'D so peinful)

pairing(s) - lee, chrome, wanshi, kamui, camu, watanabe, noan, roland, noctis x f!commandant (and can be gender neutral!) (separate!)

content // suggestive LOL basically how your favorite playable characters would kiss you scenarios~

dividers by @/saradika-graphics!

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Lee: Hyperreal

Kissing Lee is like breathing.

Inhaling, in the way his hands are on your jaw, the little smile on your lips when his breath fans yours. Breathing in, the smell of the cologne you've gifted him makes you dizzy in a good way, the softest brush of his mouth on the corner of your lips. Taking in, the taste of chocolate; bitter as the coffee you made the first time, yet morphs into something so sweet as sugar cookies, and you can feel him smiling as your lips meet, savoring every drop he offers—

Exhaling, as Lee pulls away to give you air, foreheads touching, because you are both too intertwined to move away from one another.

“We made quite a mess here,” you giggled.

The newly-made kitchen of the Gray Raven base is as messy as a child's breakfast: pots and pans strung everywhere, chocolates and other liquids splattered all over the counter, the drain is probably clogging for some reason (it was Lee's fault), and there was a burnt cake placed somewhere (your fault) but you both never minded those.

“I told you to let me handle all the baking,” Lee huffs, thumbs unconsciously caressing your jaw, “You had to be so stubborn.”

“I knew what I was doing,” you pout, “You always follow the recipe, even though you could just do some feeling!”

“I am starting to doubt your feelings. Remember the first-”

“-not another word.”

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry to burst your bubble.” Lee smiles at you, hands now placed beside your legs on the table you sat on, “We might as well clean up and just order something else.”

“Nooo,” you whine, tugging on his 'Kiss the Cook' apron, “The last cake is in the oven. It'll be done. I promise, it will taste yummy.”

Your lover laughs, his head rubbing your cheek, “Remind me again why we are baking?”

“It was supposed to be my surprise for you for Valentine's.” You admit, sighing, “You had to come and ruin it.”

Everything feels natural; his body fills in the gaps in yours. His head rests on your neck, your hand on his cheek and hair, his arms on your waist. You breathe in the same air, laughing off the smell of the burnt cake from earlier.

“I'm sorry,” he softly murmurs, his lips lightly kissing your neck, “...at least I get to take you out tonight.”

“Tonight?” Did you have a plan for tonight?

“Yes. I reserved a table for us at the restaurant you like.”

What a surprise. Pulling away to look at Lee's cerulean eyes, you somehow realized something:

“I thought you hated dining outside of our lounge.”

“I do,” Lee purses his lips, before sighing, “but I know we've been busy and you wanted to eat outside. Besides, it's still practical because of the restaurant's offer for Valentine's.”

Ah, this man is so smooth. You already knew that it wasn't just for that reason. Leaning to press your lips into his, you could feel your heart leap out of joy. You could hear the ting of the oven, but you never cared. You only wanted Lee's kiss— Lee's love, in the form of inhaling, taking in, exhaling.

“Commandant,” Lee pulls away slightly, whispering, “the cake-”

“I love you, Lee,” you giggled, hands threading in his hair as you purposely let your leg catch that particular spot that made him shudder, “You're so sly.”

“...You better finish what you've started, Commandant.”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Chrome: Glory

Kissing Chrome is needy.

It's hot, it's heavy— his hands that grasped your shoulders, almost afraid you'd disappear if he wasn't careful; yet, still so gentle— his lips on yours are so soft, you feel like you'd melt if he wasn't holding you.

“I missed you,” Chrome mumbles when he parted from yours for air, “I missed you so damn much.”

It's not a common occurrence for the both of you to be away from each other. He was the Captain of Strike Hawk, and you had your own team. But to be away from the public eye, to be in some random corner of the streets, as your heavy breathing mingled with one another and your bodies touching, you remember that you couldn't be away from your lover far too long now.

“I missed you, Chrome, I missed you, too.” You could sob from the intensity of your situation, hands reaching for whatever part of him—his shoulders, his arms, his cheek— “Thank God, I can finally see you.”

“Me too,” Chrome breathes, placing a kiss on the crown of your head, “I couldn't wait any longer.”

“Do you still have more appointments?”

“I do,” he groans, frustration evident on his pretty face, “I still have to meet a few more people...”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” Chrome is the one who apologizes instead, starry eyed twinkling that made you frown instead.

It's always busy and no rest days. Apart from your lover being such a dependable leader, sometimes, your greed makes you want to steal him away. But alas, as you caress his cheek, the cool touch of his skin underneath your fingertips, it makes you lean onto him, lips kissing his jaw.

“[Y/N]...?”

“I missed your touch,” You admit, hands now on his cheeks, “I missed your face. I missed your hands, your kisses— I don't want to be away from you longer.”

Was it your position that somehow made you hot? Or was it the way Chrome leaned more into you, kisses reaching every inch of your face, to your chin, to your exposed jaw— you stifle a quiet moan, as Chrome nips at a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, something that you've never touched before, something that was a step closer into your relationship.

“I am trying so hard not to overwhelm you, [Y/N]. I missed you so badly,” Chrome groans, “but finally seeing you, finally being able to touch you...I want to show you how much I missed you, but I'm afraid it'll be too much...”

“Don't stop,” Boldly, you proclaimed, hands running through his hair, disrupting it into a messy one, “Let's go home, Chrome. Show me how much you've missed me, and I'll show you mine.”

Pulling away so slightly, Chrome's turquoise irises reflecting a darker shade amidst the light from the crack of the corner. In between those eyes and your pending responsibilities, you already made your decision. As you feel Chrome's hold on your hips, you pressed your lips to him.

“I hope you'll stay true to that offer, [Y/N].”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Wanshi: Hypnos

Kissing Wanshi is dreamy.

In the tender tones of daylight, the artificial sun bleeding into your skin. There are too many touches all at once, but neither the two of you bother to pull away. Wanshi's lips find your skin without a hassle, humming when you swallow your laughs. He's everywhere— your hand, your arm, your shoulder, the dip of your breasts, your clavicle— everywhere but your face.

“Wanshi,” you purred, never bothering to open your eyes, “you're so needy...”

“Hush, let me dream a bit longer,” your lover sighs in your neck, nibbling your skin, “it's not everyday I get to kiss you like this.”

“We'll both be late at this point. Didn't you say Captain Chrome warned you already?”

“He already put those rules before,” he pauses, yawning, arms now wrapped possessively around your waist, “I'm exempted.”

“I won't be surprised if you get to be deprived of your capsule for another week...”

“Hey, this is about us today,” he murmurs, lightly kissing the side of your neck, “I don't want to hear another man's name in our bed...”

Your lover never learns. But still, you couldn't help but laugh at his antics. It's his problem anyways, not yours. As you giggle, your hand finds itself cupping Wanshi's soft cheeks, squeezing it.

“Wanshi, darling, we really need to get up soon. I also have work.”

You could feel Wanshi pouting against your skin. Without a warning, he gets on top of you, golden eyes looking at you. “Five minutes. Give me five more minutes, and I'll let you go.”

As you were about to ask what he meant, Wanshi leans down to capture your lips with his. You squeak from surprise, but in the end, you couldn't help but submit to his whims. His soft lips, the love that permeates from him, slipping in so deeply into you as you felt yourself buried deeper into the sheets. Your hand finds his, intertwining as he leads it above your head. Forget your job, forget that it's another shitty work day; it's only you and Wanshi, in your bed, and his dreamy kisses.

You love Wanshi, and you'd always pick him, despite his sleepy circumstances, despite everything else.

“Mm...Wanshi, give me more than five minutes.” You mutter, letting your legs wrap around his waist, pressing into him.

“Oh?”

“Yes, nngh, you win this time. Now, give me more kisses.”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Kamui: Tenebrion

Kissing Kamui is like catching the sun in both hands.

More like a surprise; playful shouting as he wins another round of your favorite game, leaving you dumbfounded in your chair. You love your man so much that you'd rather see him with that goofy smile on his face. But sometimes, some victories feel like they are being rubbed hard on your face.

“Haha! This is the third time now!”

“Alright, alright,” you shrug, placing the controller down, watching Kamui lead out of his seat, “You win.”

“Does this mean I get to have the seat for a week?”

“A month, too, if you want,” you shrug again, “Congratulations, Kamui.”

It's his playful character that made you fall for him in the first place— a unique laughter, the way his eyes crinkled with delight, how Kamui's feet would curl. But unbeknownst to him, however, you had another trick on your sleeve.

“Time for a free round!”

“No, thank you,” you flutter your eyes at him, “I'd like to see you play for now. I might get you next time if I watch your movements.”

Kamui laughs instead, making your stomach jump, “Babe, just watch, then. But I'm sure that I'll win again like always.”

As Kamui positions, your plan goes into play. He won't win against you, the real mastermind of the game.

Kamui's eyes glimmer as he focuses intently on the game. Somehow, in the middle of scoring another new record, his mind lands on you.

“[Y/N]? You seem qui-”

When he turns his head, he is met with a surprise kiss on his lips. Kissing Kamui always felt like reaching for the sun in your hands, especially this way: the surprised sound from his lips when they met yours, the softest yet so hot as he absentmindedly drops his console, reaching to hold you; Kamui doesn't hesitate to kiss you back with the same intensity— tongue tasting his favorite drink on yours, the smell of your perfume, and the dizzying heat when he refuses the pull away, in spite of your little plan.

You squeak when Kamui gently pushes you onto the sofa, him breaking away to find your saliva strung together on both of your lips. The game plays in the background, forgotten as Kamui straddles you. Looking back at his glinting eyes, you seem to miss this in your equation.

“Really, [Y/N]?”

“Y-you didn't have to- I-I thought you'd-”

“Tsk, tsk,” Kamui laughs, thumb caressing your swollen lips, “[Y/N], you already knew I'd let you win. I guess you'll be getting your present early, then~”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Camu: Crocotta

Kissing Camu is like snow on the beach.

So rare, so sudden. It's the rumble of the vending machine of some unknown brand, dropping a new kind of food. Was it edible?

“So they really did put up these things.”

It's the low sound of Camu's husky voice surprising you on a random sunny afternoon. You quickly pick up the food, presenting it in front of him, “Do you mean this?”

Camu takes the food from your hand. It's a cake in a can, you presume, as it is written boldly on the cover. Squinting his eyes, Camu effortlessly tears off the lid without the use of the safety pin. At this point, such a scenario no longer surprises you.

“A cake in the can?”

“A cake in the can.” Camu affirms, giving it back to you, “It was a staple for the Japanese vending machines back in the Golden Age.”

The little treat (although forced open) seemed cute. Using the spoon provided, you took a few bites. Immediately, a yummy flavor pours into your mouth, making you squeal with joy. You quickly taste more.

“Mmh! It's so sweet~!”

“Yeah, they're usually really sweet.”

Taking a large spoonful, you hold it out to Camu. “Would you like some?”

Hesitant. Camu looks at you, somehow judging you (do you usually hold out food to random people?), yet cautiously leans down to your height. His eyes never leave yours as he takes a bite, even until he gulps it down. Your eyes twinkle as you notice your joy reflected in his, signaling the sweet taste of the dessert.

“What do you think?”

“...it is very sweet.”

“I really want to eat more of this~” you grin, “let me order-”

Camu holds your shoulder, causing you to stop. When you turned to look back at him, focused dark eyes looked at you.

“Wait.”

Camu leans forward, his face inches away from yours. As you feel your temperature grow higher, you only notice Camu's thumb caress the corner of your mouth.

“...you had a bit of cream there.”

Did you only notice Camu's handsomeness just now? Or was it because of the close proximity? His breath is cool on your lips, pretty dark eyes devoid of any harshness that he usually portrays, yet the subtle softness of his features somehow made him look more handsome up close. It makes you want to kiss him.

“I'm sorry?”

Snapping out of your reverie, you blink at him, “Huh?”

“You said you wanted to kiss me.”

Crap. You and your thoughts! You groan, trying to mask your reddening embarrassment, “Ah, Camu, I'm so sorry, I didn't-”

But Camu closes the gap anyways. It catches you off guard at first, but his kiss is cool and warm at the same time, almost felt like bathing in the sea amidst the snow. You taste the sweet cake on his lips, the smell of peppermint invading your senses. It is only a short while, ending as fast as it started. When he pulls away, you find dark eyes reflecting your emotion: curiosity.

“...ah-!”

“Technically, we indirectly kissed already.”

Camu points at the spoon, realization dawning on you. You squeak, trying to assess more of the situation. But Camu, with a small smile on his lips despite the deepening blush on his cheeks, coughs, “...I guess it's time for me to ask you out later during the Valentine's event, then.”

You were about to ask what the deal was about, until your mind whirred back to his initial words.

“I thought you don't like Valentine's?”

“I don't like Valentines.” He said.

“So why...?”

Camu, turning away from you, before looking back with a smile on his face, “I like you, obviously.”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Watanabe: Epitaph

Kissing Watanabe is always a surprise.

It's when you least expected it. From the sudden kisses in front of children, to meet ups in the warehouse, and even in random times of the day. Watanabe would always keep surprising you, you almost think it's a routine at this point (God Bless your heart; hopefully his antics won't kill you before your fated day).

However, lately, it's almost not happening.

“Hello, [Y/N],” your lover greets you as he passes by, opting to continue talking to the man beside him. You retract your expectant hands.

“Watch out, [Y/N].” Watanabe calmly catches you by your hips, when a child nearly hits you with the ball. You wanted to reach out, but he was already walking away.

“I'll be taking that.” And gone was the playful kiss on your shoulder, instead, it was a smile on his lips as he took the supplies and left you in the dark. What the hell was going on?

On a random evening, he started to avoid you on purpose.

“Watanabe!” You cried out as you watched him disappear from the sea of people.

It was the nth time of you trying to track him down that day. Tired from running around, you slump against the wall, tears filling your eyes. Your tears began to escape your eyes as the atmosphere around you, despite it being Valentine's, was full of love and laughter.

What did you do wrong? Watanabe is your lover, one you've long promised to be with forever. But what was forever if he no longer looked at your way?

“Miss [Y/N]?”

Sniffling away your tears, you looked up to see one of the Forsaken soldiers. “Y-yes?”

“...are you alright?”

“Y-yes, yes,” you were not, but you still stood up, facing the soldier, “What do you need?”

“Could you kindly come with me to the warehouse? I need someone to inspect the weapons before we head out tomorrow.”

Wordlessly, you follow the construct. Your mind swims in a hazy sea of doubts and self depreciation. Should you leave this place? Go back to Babylonia? You are still welcome there, last time you checked. But the people...

It didn't take a while before you both arrived at the destination. Stepping inside the dark warehouse, you failed to notice that the door behind you closed. As you ran to pry it open, from the corner of your eyes, you saw a lone light shine in the middle of the dark warehouse.

It's Watanabe.

All of your anger rushes to your brain. Your legs move quicker, however, sprinting to reach out to the estranged man.

“You selfish little-”

“[Y/N]-”

Anything Watanabe says is fast, but your reflexes are faster. You held onto his arms, your tears of anger flowing as you cried out.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I know, I know-”

“Do you know how sad and angry I am at you? For leaving me with no answers?”

Watanabe does not answer. He lets you speak.

“Why? What did I do wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”

“I am aware, yes.” He answers, sorrowful, “I am sorry for treating you that way, [Y/N]. I know I shouldn't have done that, but my actions hurt you instead.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Watanabe doesn't answer. Instead, he reaches out to cup your cheeks, genuine sadness reflecting in his expression.

“I have been thinking. And I made up my mind.”

He caresses your cheeks with such reverence, it almost makes you melt. “...being away from you is so cruel. I wanted to make such a heavy decision, to leave you so you could be with another human, but I realized that I was just like you— I would be angry, too.”

Watanabe leans down, your forehead touching, “I want to be greedy for you, [Y/N]. Please, let me make it up to you.”

Suddenly, you were aware of the weight of your words from earlier. You weren't mad; you were devastated. Should this man, the love of your life, leave you, what becomes of you, then?

“Watanabe...”

You tug on his collar, whispering, “Don't go. Kiss me, please.”

Kissing Watanabe really is a surprise. It's fulfilling, in a way that completes you like a puzzle, his warm lips on yours. You love him just as much as he loves you, perhaps more— it's agonizing, it's too much, yet you crave for him; he is all you have. When he reluctantly pulls away, he whispers your name.

The lights of the warehouse turn on. And behind him, a dazzling display of flowers and pictures are shown.

“What-”

“I know it's not much, unlike the luxuries in Babylonia,” Watanabe kneels down, the glittering stone on the engraved jewelry in his hand, “But this is all from every corner of my heart; I love you, my [Y/N]. Please accept my proposal.”

You couldn't hold your tears anymore— from anger, they turned into immense joy. The answer has long been spoken.

“Marry me, my [Y/N].”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Noan: Arca

Kissing Noan is sweet.

Little kisses and noises of joy as you take breaks in between your book reading. It's his warm hand on top of yours, the other busy flipping through the pages. Noan's voice is a soothing lullaby, a gentle lull as he reads the passages for you.

“It's quite ironic,” Noan breaks away from the book, putting it aside as he brushes away the hair covering your face, “I thought you wanted me to read to you.”

There you were, comfortably laying on his lap, watching him with tired eyes. Slightly pouting, you weakly tugged on his scarf, “Noan, why did you stop...”

“My lap isn't very comfortable to sleep in. Let's move you back to your base.”

“Nooo,” you stubbornly shook your head, trying not to let Noan stand, “Finish reading the book, please? You're almost at the exciting part...”

Sighing, Noan picks up the book. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, one of the books that caught Noan's attention. Driven by your immense curiosity and how Noan was itching to read the story, judging by its summary, you thought it was a nice idea to let him read to you. It's hitting two birds with one stone!

“I don't get how you're so interested in the book,” Noan asks, flipping back to the page where he left, “You're already falling asleep.”

You don't have the heart to tell him you've already read it while you were still in the F.O.S. “Well, I think the concept is neat.”

“The concept of a man who has the body parts of dead people off killing people just to appease his creator?”

You shrugged, “I mean...”

Noan laughs, fingers idly drifting and drawing circles on your cheek, “Just tell me that you're just doing this because you think that I'm interested in it.”

“Are you not?” You turned to catch brown eyes looking at you with mirth.

“In a way, yeah.”

You pondered for a bit, trying to remember the contents of the book. Lifting your hand to cup Noan's cheeks, you huffed, “Y'know, you remind me a bit of the monster.”

Quickly catching yourself with your words (to which Noan laughs), “I mean, minus the killing. Wait, no, I mean-”

“Okay, okay, something related to that?”

“Yes, that.” You grinned, “the monster wasn't supposed to mean any harm. He simply wanted the attention and love from his creator.”

Your lover, in a way, was similar to the monster of the book. Rebuilt and revived, nearly as a killing machine. But does a killing machine have to look this beautiful in the hazy afternoon glow? Noan's lips parted for a bit, before pursing them. Lifting your head, you snuck in a short kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“You're similar yet different from the monster, Noan.” You murmured, closing your eyes as you inhaled his smell, “Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity and ruin.”

Noan chuckles, lightly squeezing your cheeks, “and you tell me you've never read the book before-”

“I didn't disagree, didn't I?”

“Hmm...”

“Noan,” you whispered, “Unlike Frankenstein's story, you are never feared, nor despised.”

You kissed Noan. It's sweet— the taste of the cookies you gave, the herbal tea; his lips that were made to kiss yours, to fit; and Noan, who went through too much, was yours to protect forevermore.

“You are loved, even more than your creator.”

When you pull away, deep red tinted his cheeks and ears, which made you laugh. “Well, Noan?”

“Mm...I should stop reading the book since you already know-”

“Keep going, please?” You purred, “I like you reading to me.”

“...mh, fine, you're lucky I like you.”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Roland: Flambeau

Kissing Roland is, well, comedic.

He's laughing; the crescendo plays a melodic tune, as he plays his role. Your lover is a clown at this point, laughing manically with every step he takes.

But you love him anyway. You love your clown.

“Roland, dear,” you giggle, “Remind me again what's my role?”

He pauses, before approaching you. “Mi amor,” Roland reaches out to your hand, kissing it, “You are the lead of this play!”

As he continues to play his role, you are sitting in front of him, on a fancy chair. For Valentine's, you half-expected Roland to join the theatre, however, he was here in front of you— with only you as the audience and apparently the lead as well.

“What do I do?”

“Sit prettily there,” Roland winks, “That's your role.”

“Alright. Do I still get compensated?”

“Hush, the climax of this story is now nearly in full bloom.”

With a crisp spin, Roland turns to face you, the spotlight hitting every nice angle he had. In his hand, a single, beautifully blooming rose.

“Mi amor, my love, my light,” Roland began his monologue, “Though it has been a very long journey and story, here we are, still alive.”

Ah, you realized this scene now. The first proper confession.

Roland walks to you, despite his clownish appearance, he genuinely had a sweet smile on his face. “Damned by those who defy our circumstances; from this day forward, I am yours, as much as you are mine.”

He looks at you, with gentle hands holding your cheek, “What do you say, mi amor?”

In the original story, you ran away out of fear. But you were in a new scenario with him now. Smiling, you dragged him to you with his shirt, “Hmm, sounds missing.”

You wink at Roland, “Ah, I know now.”

Without a warning, you closed the gap in between your lips. Roland eases into you easily; grasping at hands, responding to your move. It's still soft, his lips that make you dream of oceans and theatre plays— it makes you want more.

But Roland pulls away, chuckling, “Well, that certainly wasn't part of the script.”

“You kept missing the cues,” you stuck your tongue out, “I merely filled in the gaps.”

“That's my girl,” Roland praises, “My perfect muse, my perfect actress.”

Comedic, in a way that it's the perfect timing. You leaned further to kiss him more.

“Mm, I still have a few ideas you can add to your script.”

Roland's hand in your hips tightened, mirroring your smile, “Do tell, we should execute it afterwards.”

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Noctis: Indomitus

Kissing Noctis is wild.

In how he holds you effortlessly in one hand. You grasp where your hands could reach, but you could only breathe in. In how Noctis's voice sends shivers. A melody that echoes so long.

His lips are begging to be with you. It's almost painful.

“[Y/N], [Y/N],” Noctis whines, “Please, let me touch you.”

“We are in a public area, Noctis,” you whisper, aware of his creeping fingers on your pants, “Mmh, it's not just me...”

Your lover was supposed to be a grown man, but who knew his neediness could make him such a needy child?

“Please, please, I promise it won't take long,” He groaned as his fingers rubbed your thighs, “I'll be very quick.”

Sighing, you try to look around you. Making sure that no one else could see, you pulled Noctis closer, lips mere inches away from one another.

“Be quick, okay?”

And you trust Noctis. Kissing him is wild— as if asking to be breathed back to life, he kisses you with such fervor. Never minding touchy hands, it's so hot that you unconsciously opened the buttons on your shirt. Noctis loves hard and harder, the beating of his heart a testament. His tongue on yours, hands everywhere else.

“Thank you,” he cries out, making you throb, “I owe you so much...”

“How about pushing it past my limits today, Noctis?”

Without a word, Noctis slips into you for one more stolen kiss. “You have my word, then, [Y/N].”

Writing this half asleep HAHAHAHAHSHSHA

— starry

[ladykissingfish]

*Hidan and Kakuzu out walking in a snowy forest*

Kakuzu: This is ridiculous. It’s freezing out here, and the snow is coming down so hard I can barely read this map! Are you positive Pein said we had to take this mission today??

Hidan: I’m sure, old fuck. Keep your pants on … *takes the map and squints at it* See? *points* We’re here, and our rendezvous spot is just half a mile ahead. So quit your bitchin’ and get a move on.

*Kakuzu quietly grumbles to himself as he pulls his cloak tighter around him and follows Hidan’s lead up the path*

Hidan: Ah — there it is!

Kakuzu: That place? I know that place; it’s a fairly expensive hotel. The client we’re meeting must be loaded, eh?

Hidan: Everything's always money with you, ain’t it? Greedy bastard …

*the two go into the hotel and shake themselves off in the doorway before stepping inside*

Kakuzu: Okay; now where is the guy we’re supposed to —

*Hidan walks away from him and up to the front desk*

Hidan: Reservation under “Jashin” for the deluxe suite, please.

*the hotel clerk hands him a key and Hidan walks back to to a confused Kakuzu*

Kakuzu: … Reservation? Brat, what —

Hidan: I booked this a whole week ago, ‘Kuzu. Surprise! *takes his hand and pulls him towards the staircase* I checked it out beforehand; our room has got a gigantic bed and a bathtub as big as a swimming pool and —

Kakuzu: Wait, wait; I’m confused. What about the mission?

Hidan: You dumbass; I lied, there ain’t no mission. Well, except one: make Kakuzu’s birthday a great one!

Kakuzu: Birthday? It’s not my — *pauses to look at a calendar hanging on a wall* Well, shit …

Hidan: Ha! Finally managed to get your ass!

Kakuzu: But … this place is pricey, isn’t it? How did —

Hidan: I talked red-eyes into using that sharingan of his to help me win big in a gambling den. Hey, are ya hungry? I made sure this place had that gross liver ya love so much, and —

Kakuzu: *pushes Hidan against the wall and kisses him* There’s only one thing I want to devour tonight, and I’m looking at him. *takes his hand* Lead the way.

Hidan, blushing: D-damn … okay, let’s go. Boy, at first I thought it was a mistake to take all that money from your secret stash to go play cards on, but now I —

Kakuzu: Wait … what?

Hidan: I … er … h-hey, did I mention this place has free massages and palm readings and —

Kakuzu: Palm readings, eh? To tell the future? Well I know what MY future is going to look like … but it remains to be seen what yours holds, my dear money-stealing brat. *kisses Hidan’s knuckles* Now, lead the way. While you can still walk.

Hidan:

[sueske]

it's funny how kishimoto contrasts naruto's reaction to women vs the reactions of other men around him to women. 

for example konahamaru, even as a kid, expresses interest (by himself and to naruto) in making the sexy jutsu more detailed but naruto as a kid just did the bare minimum with that jutsu. but later on makes the reverse harem jutsu super detailed and says he practiced it more than the rasengan. 

then we have kakashi, who outwardly isn't as perverted as some of the other male characters, but who is super into his porn books. but kishimoto also made naruto say that he doesn't find interest in the books himself. when kakashi is forced to read out the lines of the icha icha book during the pein arc he is flustered, even shikamaru is like whaaat, but naruto is unaffected. just carries on.

then we have the biggest pervert of the series himself - jiraiya. who naruto continuously admonished for peeping in bathhouses and who hates his trash novels. jiraiya even notes that naruto doesn't 'get' it (the books, women)... like having the biggest pervert cringe teacher spend years with naruto and have naruto act that way in the homecoming chapter and then have jiraiya repeat stuff like that to drive the point across is quite interesting. 

then more broadly we have other characters like iruka, ebisu, hiruzen who get affected by the sexy jutsu with the standard nosebleed to denote arousal. but when konohamaru brings out the big guns in chapter 347 naruto doesn't get a nosebleed at all (also in contrast to sakura who also got a nosebleed at the male x male version of the jutsu). naruto even then said afterwards that it's like a competition between him and konohamaru, which is why naruto looked excited. 

[hellcifrogs]

Can we get some story stuff from your sannin swap au v2? I have literally not found anything with that in Tumblr yet and I doubt I can find anything outside it.

Okay okay, the ideas I had were all mostly separated so let me try and put it all into one plot line lol ->

Sakura is taken by Orochimaru as a child, he notices her skills with chakra control, strategies and her great memory sometime early in the academy, maybe spying around the village. Naruto and Sasuke still get put on team 7 - I could add Sai here just because :) - and the rest of the story goes on basically the same way.

Orochimaru could still try to get Sasuke during the chunin exams, but it wouldn't make any difference really. Once Naruto and Jiraya get Tsunade to be the new hokage she decided to train Naruto herself - being part Uzumaki like his mom and hokage like his dad, and realizing Hiruzen didn't do a good job with Naruto.

Meanwhile Sasuke is still frustrated with Naruto's improvement and his lack of powers, so Kakashi asks Jiraya to take him for a bit too - being his master's master's master lol. So Jiraya takes Sasuke with him to travel, which is also a good excuse to keep him away from Orochimaru and the dangers konoha presents to him as an Uchiha.

Shippuden time ->

Sakura is still training/working with Orochimaru, but she knows her time is close and he'll try to take her body anytime now so she plans to kill him and has been gathering info to get back to her family.

Naruto is already Tsunade's new right hand man, giving Shizune a break - She can go on missions with Sai and Kakashi. And has a growing popularity around the village, some people still don't like or trust him and Danzo is still somewhere around plotting, but Naru and Tsunade are already thinking of ways to get rid of him, though they don't know all of his crimes yet.

Sasuke returns to the village :D the story again goes as before. Naruto, Sasuke and Sai going on missions, briefly meet Sakura in the hideouts. After killing Orochimaru, Sakura joins the Akatsuki with team Taka (I give in, she goes after them :') she doesn't take Zabuza's sword for Suigetsu though, she already knew about Juugo from Kimimaro and meets Karin for the first time, the two had only just heard about each other - Karin is the one who cuts her hair, and they slowly become friends)

[I want to add more here, maybe have Sakura involved in the fight against Jiraya and, because she's trying to find info about Konoha, she saves him/doesn't let him die]

Sasuke finally finds Itachi to kill him, Jiraya had tried to convince him to give up on that, but only got him to slow down on the revenge thing, Naruto and Sai also tried to stop him, but in the end they decide to go with him to make sure he's okay. Sakura is also there looking for information on Tobi/Madara. She sees some of the fight and falls a little for Sasuke, but mostly she's very touched by team 7's friendship.

Sakura takes this chance to finally go back to konoha with them.

She becomes a spy in the Akatsuki and thanks to her Tsunade is ready for Pein's attack. Tsunade and Jiraya agree to teach Naruto the toad sage mode, because Jiraya is still Naruto's godfather and owes him a little more than just the rasengan. 

[A little more I'm not sure about lol]

The war doesn't really happen, since it's basically just the Zetsus, because Sakura also killed Kabuto, not trusting him to be left alone with Orochimaru's labs (wise), and Tobi against all the nations, the incredibly over powered team 7 and no Madara :)

This AU could take a little more time AFTER the war to get Sakura finding her family, team Taka being accepted by konoha 12 friends, Naruto closer and closer to becoming hokage and Sasuke finally rebuilding the clan reputation.

Team 7 becomes the pride of the village. The future Hokage, Sasuke the Uchiha hero and Sai who finally brought down Danzo.

[reddawnmultimuse]

. starter for @thetoaddaddy

"Holy shit, Jiraiya--as in Jiraiya the Sannin?"

"Aye. Kisame an' the Uchiha took 'im out when 'e got in their way o' the Kyuubi brat. Kyuubi got away but got ourselves a prize." Sasori said as he and Deidara stared at the unconscious, bloodied man in the makeshift prison cell Pein had fabricated to rein in the Sannin; the black metal drawing in his chakra so he couldn't use any jutsu to escape. Despite this, Deidara kept his distance--just in case.

"So...why do we have to watch him, hn? He's not getting out!" Deidara questioned Sasori to which the puppeteer let out a sigh.

"Because, brat--Kisame an' that Uchiha are 'untin' down the Kyuubi 'gain an' Kakuzu an' 'idan are off doin' fuckin' whatever. An' it ain't us--it's you. Got meselfs better fings to do then watchin' a old man."

"Wait, what?" Deidara said but by the time he looked over, Sasori was gone. "D-Danna! Danna, you can't leave me here, hn! Danna!"

Deidara glanced at Jiraiya and cursed under his breath as he couldn't go after his partner. Looks like he was stuck on guard duty. Joy.

[watermelonsloth]

Things the Naruto Fandom Don’t Talk About Nearly Enough Part 5: Itachi and Kisame’s Visit to Konoha

So, there are layers to this.

At first, this just seems like a simple mission to stop by Konoha and snatch Naruto off the streets, but we learn two things about this later on that makes this very funny to me: Itachi’s actual intention was to remind Danzo that he’s still alive so he wouldn’t use Hiruzen’s absence as an opening to use Sasuke and the Akatsuki wouldn’t be in a position to extract the nine tails for another two years.

Some of you may see where this is going.

Pein wouldn’t have ordered them to get Kurama two years early, it would’ve just brought unnecessary attention to them and reveal the Akatsuki’s motives (or at least methods). So, if they aren’t following orders, why is Kisame going along with this? Did Itachi say “early bird gets the worm” and Kisame was like “fuck it, I don’t have anything better to do”?

If Kisame is under the impression they’re capturing the nine tails, why did he offer they stop for tea? Itachi wanting to waste time and risk drawing attention would make sense, but not Kisame. Right? Does Kisame make them stop for tea and dessert on missions? Does Kisame make them stop so regularly that Itachi was counting on it for his plan?

Speaking of Itachi’s plan, did he actually account for the village response to two very known criminals being in the village? Like, nothing would’ve stopped Danzo from just sending all of anbu after them. Did Itachi think he and Kisame could take all of Konoha’s shinobi force? Or maybe he thought they could get away before that became a problem?

What would Itachi have done if they did capture Naruto? He, presumably, didn’t know that Jiraiya was in Konoha and it’s not like Naruto had any bodyguards. I can’t imagine he would’ve dropped the act. Would he have just pretended to have another spike in psychopathy and shanked Kisame? Would he have tried to talk Kisame into leaving Naruto? Would they have brought him back with them?

If they brought Naruto with them, what would that conversation look like? ‘Cause Pein probably wouldn’t have let them go to Konoha, so it’s not like he’d know they were going to get Naruto in the first place. “Hey boss, we’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is we got that jinchuriki you wanted! We know it’s a little early, but we just couldn’t help ourselves. The bad news is all of the Land of Fire is after us.”

Last question, did the rest of the Akatsuki find out about this? If so, can we please have a novel about their reactions?

First Previous Next

[rayshippouuchiha]

I'm eternally full of wrath over the fact no one in Konoha knew about the chakra imprints of Naruto's parents in the seal.

Naruto would've died to Pein without ever knowing who his parents were because no one manned up and let him know what he had a right to know.

If not for his parents loving him enough to want to leave behind failsafes in case his seal was ever damaged so he'd at least get to be protected by them personally one more time he never fucking would've known. Maybe not until the fourth war arc with Minato as an edo tensei summoned by Sasuke and do you think Naruto would've EASILY worked with 4th Hokage who sealed the Kyubi into him right away? No. Konoha's inability to own up to its fuck ups and to be honest with the victims of those fuck ups would've endangered the entire world. And for what? "I just didn't feel up to talking about it" or maybe "We'll tell him when he's older/stronger/better/more mature/at least a chunin/can keep secrets" when they shouldn't be goalposting this anyway and also fucking you don't feel up to it? Naruto didn't feel up to being an orphan hated and despised by literally every adult around him

I'm sorry to continue to rant but

AND ANOTHER THING

Naruto goes literally YEARS without knowing the rasengan was his FATHER'S jutsu. YEARS.

Using this jutsu, his dad invented, without knowing it, all the time in every fight. And Naruto thinks he's just using a badass technique the perv sage showed him which belonged to the yondaime, he has no idea what it should mean to him and he is kept in the dark, for years.

Kakashi was 26-27 at the start of the show and 30 when Naruto comes back from the time skip, trauma or no that is a grown-ass man an adult the entire time we know him, who just.. observes this hard-working teen in his care who's clearly all about his bonds (See the Gaara rescue and the find Sasuke missions) because he never had anyone in his corner before team 7 and he just.. goes "hmm" and never fucking tells him anything about his parents who Kakashi knew? EITHER OF HIS PARENTS??? Anything about them!?? What they were like? Their habits? Their techniques? How happy they were he was going to be born? How he wasn't born an orphan? How he was loved? DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO PASS DOWN FUINJUTSU TO THE UZUMAKI HEIR BECAUSE WHAT?! NARUTO'S 'TOO DUMB' or 'Too much of a bother to explain all the backstory why he should know/why I'm teaching it/too much of a bother to teach such a complicated thing' or 'the village doesn't want its jinchuriki to know how its own seal works we'd rather keep that power in our hands' like what. What would even be a good reason he is literally his sensei, and Jiraiya had three years to train him and focused on 'unlocking the seal to make use of more seals' while again not teaching Naruto how the seal worked at all and then once he got a scar from naruto abandoning the plan. Yes, Naruto got proper taijutsu training and training with the toad summons but still. What a waste. I'm still fuming.

~~~

Naruto got failed all the way around by a lot of people and only a few attempted to really and truly make up for it.

[cottoncandy-cult]

Little Miracle

Kisame x Child! Reader

I know I write a lot of family stuff, from kids to siblings but I just find it cute. The kind of bond a man can form with his child, regardless of blood. It helps me get out certain ideas and work up inspiration for other things. Can you tell I have family issues yet?

The blue man was walking quietly through the woods, he had returned to the base after a long mission and wanted to take a dip in his favorite lake. It was somewhat near the base but just far enough in the woods to be hidden from anyone following any trail, the male actually greatly enjoyed his alone time. Though when he arrived, he noticed something was different, there was a basket floating on the water. It looked to have been there a bit, but strangely hadn't sunk. As he got closer, he heard soft whining, making him rush more than he was willing to admit. He stripped off his cloak and jumped in, once close enough he drug the basket to the edge of the lake and set it down on land before getting out.

Moving the damp blanket off the basket, he spotted a tiny infant inside. It was wrapped in a pink blanket, so he assumed it was a little girl, her skin was incredibly pale, and her lips had begun to turn blue. He became somewhat aware that her blanket was slightly damp. She was frail and underweight, and for some reason this pissed him off to no end. Sure, he could be blood thirsty, and yes, he has killed A LOT of people. But this was a baby, abandoned to suffer and die in this lake. He was fast to stand and lift the baby quickly, grabbing his cloak the shark man wrapped her up in it and rushed back to the base. He had come in right before a meeting it seemed, meaning everyone was sitting around in the living room. Konan was the first to notice the infant and stood from her spot, seeming alarmed by his appearance and sudden barging in. "Kisame? What's wrong?..." She and Pein approached him, watching as he adjusted his arms to show them the baby girl much more clearly. "I found her floating on the lake..." Konan seemed astonished as she looked at the baby, gently taking her from him and cradling her close. "Poor thing..." She looked to Pein pleadingly, the ginger male gave her a blank look as her eyes remained locked with his. "Fine... We can keep her... Itachi we have a mission for you." He had turned to the male immediately as he spoke in an exacerbated tone, making the weasel roll his eyes. Everyone knew Itachi had practically raised Sasuke, so it was logical he'd be the one sent out to get the things they would likely need.

                 🍼3 Months Later🍼

It had been 3 months since little (Y/N) came into the Akatsuki, Kisame had stepped up as her guardian immediately. Of course, Itachi had been having to teach him how to care for the child, but the shark man didn't mind the work as it was surprisingly taxing and reminded him how long it had been since someone had tested his endurance. (Y/N) loved him like no other, always smiling and giggling when he was around. He had honestly enjoyed it, (Y/N) loved him unconditionally no matter what he did or looked like. Right now, the large man was holding her close to his chest, he was simply wandering around the base in his Pj pants and tank top. It was late at night, and he was trying to put (Y/N) back to sleep, this had become a midnight constant. He was tired but patient, he was a night owl anyways and probably would have just gone out to the lake for a swim if she had stayed asleep.

The other's had surprisingly taken to the little girl, Kakuzu had even taken to bringing her little gifts on his way back from missions. Pein was fine with it because thanks to the little girl teamwork among the organization had increased, thus increasing productivity and income. He grinned as he looked down to see her eyes drifting to a close, one large hand reached up and stroked her cheek gently. "Heh... Our little miracle..."

                   🍡5 Years Later🍡

"Daddy!" Kisame had looked up with a grin, he and Itachi had been away for a week on a mission, and he had missed his little girl. They had been on the trail back to the base, the boulder in front was already in view and so was his little girl. He had stopped, quickly kneeling down and opening his arms. (Y/N)'s smile only widened as she ran right into his embrace, as he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to him like a baby koala. "Welcome home daddy." He grinned as she cuddled into him, his footsteps lulling the little girl into sleep before they even made it back to the boulder. "I'm glad to be home... My little Miracle..."

[sillygoose067]

Charles’s Angel(s)

Ch.19

Charles Leclerc x Reader

The boys end up ordering fried chicken to refuel during the break. You call Charles over to join the haphazard circle on the floor. The members of SKZ do their best to welcome him to this niche little family, and discuss the subtleties and specificity of each other’s occupations. “Wow, you are a racer?! What car do you drive?”

“Actually, I am a driver for Ferrari”

Collective gasps. Everyone knows what Ferrari’s are and how big of a deal they are. “So do you drive a Ferrari around the track?”

“No actually. All of us F1 drivers get motor vehicles put together, somewhat personalized. The car is much, much smaller than a normal, commercial vehicle. It only seats one person, and we need to follow lots of weight protocols and barely drink water…” Charles goes into the many specifics of being an F1 driver. The members tell him that maybe, sometime during his stay, he can join them in the gym and show them what his routine is (of course Changbin asked that). Then, the subject switches to the music production process and how each of the members got to where they were currently.

When the food arrives, you turn to Charles. “I swear to every god there is, this Korean fried chicken will forever change your life. You will never look at fried chicken the same after this. Are you prepared?”

Stricken by your sudden change in behavior, he agrees. Everyone watches with a bated breath as he takes a bite out of his first piece. The moment the chicken makes a delicious crunch and reaches Charles’ tastebuds, his eyes widen and he almost moans. Putain de merde (Holy shit).

If this was fried chicken, what the hell had he been eating when he got KFC all these years? KFC?? Kentucky Fried Chicken? Fuck that. KFC as in Korean Fried Chicken was by all means superior.

Once he gets over the shock to his taste buds, Charles tells the three people who he learned were the main producers of the group, 3racha, about his ideas and compositions, inquiring about whether or not they could help. “Of course man! What do you need? Han here is a genius lyricist, as is Changbin, but he and I mainly produce the actual music”, says Chan. “Tell you what. Why don’t you come join us in my studio tomorrow and we can experiment with some of the stuff you have”.

Charles checks-in with you quickly, then agrees. 

…

When you finally arrive at the hotel, you block out your surroundings and immediately get into the shower, feeling icky with sweat. Charles however, takes a step inside and notices that there was only one bed. Uh oh. This felt too much like one of those disgusting Hallmark movie plots. When you come out of the shower, drying your hair with a towel and in a bathrobe, you finally see the problem. “Ummm, je peux prendre le canapé (Um, I can take the sofa)”, volunteers Charles, scratching the back of his neck and trying to keep down the blush crawling up his cheeks.

“Non, non, ce n'est pas la peine de faire ça. Ce serait vraiment mauvais pour ton dos... C'est bon, je suis d'accord pour partager le lit…(No, no, no need to do that. It would be really bad for your back... It's ok, I'm ok with sharing the bed…)”

Charles just hmms in acknowledgement and rushes off to take a shower of his own. 

…

When he returns, you’ve already blow-dried your hair and are sitting at the vanity doing some skincare. From your peripheral, you see that he’s only got a towel around his waist, held by an arm, and is drying his hair with a smaller towel. Quickly, you avert your eyes and continue to do your skincare as you hear him rustling around his suitcase and grabbing some clothes. 

“What are you doing there Chéri?”, you hear Charles ask from behind you. You deduce that he’s changed by now and look up through the mirror. “Just some basic upkeep for my skin. I wasn’t born this flawless, you know?”, you flick your hair sassily. 

“Hmm, but I beg to differ, love”.

Flustered by the sudden flattery, you scramble around the table, knocking over some of the products, and desperately trying to find your moisturizer. When you look back up through the mirror, Charles is smirking at you successfully. You grab a small hand-towel on the table and throw it at him, aiming for his stupidly handsome, dimpled face, but of course, his quick driver reflexes kick-in and he catches it before impact.

He comes over and stands over your shoulder. “Mind if I join you?”

You turn to him and he bends down to your level. Scooping out some of your moisturizer, you rub it on his face, taking your time to trace the arch of his nose and over his cheekbones. Charles watches as you gently massage the product, his eyes never leaving the concentrated look on your face. When you’re done, you break this intimate moment by stretching your neck up slightly and leaving a light kiss at the corner of his lips.

[mixelation]

what i should REALLY do is write an AU where minato is the leader of the Akatsuki.* THEN you'll all know i've truly lost my mind

*if this sounds absurd to you: an old but at-the-time popular fan theory was that the fourth hokage was the leader of the akatsuki, since all we got of pein for a while was a silhouette

[yowyowyaoi]

Tobi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Sasori

What exactly do you expect me to say to that?

Donuts outside your door. Peace offering.

I’m sure it’s just as scared of you as you are of it.

No it’s three. THREE leaves are bad.

I’ll have Deidara give it to you but from now on if you idiots choose to keep going out without sunscreen I’m no longer treating the burn.

I noticed. But we all have secrets. That one is yours.

I’ve long forgotten the taste of food but if you think you can do a better job than Konan, by all means tell her. I’m sure she’ll take it well.

From Zetsu

What would he even be to you? Uncle? Grandpa? Great-grandpa? 

Patience, sunshine and a lottttttt of sugar.

He wouldn’t be very pleased that you’re letting one immature blonde ruin your focus this way …

No I HAD to eat him. His screaming would have attracted the enemy.

Your eyes look atrocious have you been using the drops??

Don’t kill it until I get there! They make great snacks 😋

I get that but sleep is important too kid.

Pls tell me you’re not the one who ate it all. Please. Please.

From Hidan

I mean maybe if you had a bigger dick but I’m not even sure the puppet has one at all so idk man 🤷‍♂️

Geez I wasn’t that drunk was I? 

You’ve got some balls on you bastard but fuck yes I’m in!! 😈 Funniest shit ever.

So get out of bed and come hang out. Just laying there all day ain’t helping shit.

It’s rated R but only for the sex shit. Don’t worry I know what a little bitch you are about scary movies 🙄

You snitch on me and tomorrow you wake up with your severed hand shoved up your ass 😇

Stop being such a stingy mf you don’t even like ribs asshole!

Not as weird as you think. He’s very flexible for a geezer 

No you’d be perfect for it. Nobody could read your face bc of that fucking mask!

Don’t let Konan see she’d kill both of us and then dig us up to fuck us up again 😓

From Kisame

Itachi insists I ask you to join us, so please come.

There isn’t one in your closet and even if there was, why would you send ME after it?!

God are you and Itachi related or something?! I can’t get either one of you to stop with the damn sweets!

PLEASE stop jumping on the bed I gotta get up in 3 hours I need SLEEP 😡

Stop asking me 1000 questions every time you watch the Discovery Channel 😑

From Nagato

I’m tired of speaking to you three about the same damn issues every single week. You are all grown men and I should not have to babysit you.

If I’m getting complaints from people OUTSIDE of this group? Then, yes, it is a problem.

Do as you see fit but remember your missions take precedence above all.

I’d advise you to keep in mind that he’s only 19 years old, and he already has that hair-trigger temper.

At least on this one point we can agree: white-haired “mentors” are the worst. 

What makes you think Sasori would make a good Pein-body for me? 

From Kakuzu 

You realize every cloak you tear up I’M the one hand sewing the replacement??

You Deidara Hidan all need to clean your rooms you’re making the house smell like a public toilet 😡

Only if YOU want to be the one to go out and catch the bounty to afford that.

I would suggest you stay focused on your missions. This is a serious organization, not a highschool.

I doubt that. I’m rarely surprised, brat.

Be a lot easier to treat it if you took that damn mask off and let me SEE it, kid.

Not complaining about the money but … how did you get it so fast 🤨

Konan says it was you, you say it was Itachi. Wonder what Itachi’s going to tell me.

No. And anyway you’re old enough to know that “love potions” aren’t real.

From Konan

Dinner’s ready!

You know that’s a completely inappropriate question to ask a woman, right?

Come see me later I’ll use the good shampoo and then give you a trim 😊

The other things I don’t mind but everyone is responsible for their own underwear.

Just go play with the one that Itachi absolutely does not have in his room.

Okay but FIVE SEPARATE PEOPLE came to me and told me they saw you playing with it right before it “mysteriously broke”. 😒

Not saying the muscles are impressive. But. 🫣

From Itachi

I’ve found that massaging the lids for half an hour and then resting with a cold cloth over them really helps.

I saw. I couldn’t believe how tall he’s gotten 😢

I’ll let you read it when I’m done. It helps with a lot of the overwhelming feelings.

I’m not scared at all. I just don’t want Kisame to be around to see it happen.

Honestly? I don’t trust that old man and I don’t think you should either, cousin.

A few bad teeth is probably the least of my health concerns, ha ha 🙃

Come walk with me. Give you a chance to breathe for a while.

Yeah but the thing about dreams is at some point, you’ve got to wake up. 

We’re both young and strong. Together with Sasuke we could do it. And be free.

Are you kidding? That movie would have BOTH of them pissing their pants. 🤣

No matter what he’s just going to find an excuse to fine you for it and take it out of your pay.

Ugh I tried but the way he eats everything super rare? And then licks the blood off the plate?? 🤢

From Deidara

Well you know he’s immortal so, never.

A big box of dangos and like half a cherry pie. You can have it but do NOT let me catch you eating everything at once.

We leave in 20 min. Don’t forget your pack this time.

No Kakuzu thinks Hidan did it and I’m not gonna correct him, and NEITHER ARE YOU.

That’s … pretty gay, ngl

Socks first, then shoes. Not sock shoe sock shoe. If there was a fire you’d be running out with one foot naked. Who tf raised you?!

Yeah I made it for you. I know you like turtles. And no it doesn’t explode.

I dare you to say that to him

Heyyyy you got $30 I can borrow 😅

No really DID you hide my clay?!

Me, Hidan and Uchiha. You’re coming too.

The way one loves a *friend*, yes

Did the salmon give you the shits too?? God my asshole feels like it’s melting 😫